#almost all of the companions only had their level 1 and basic stuff. for most of the game. great. it was a great experience.

[secretsimpleness]

I figured this out somewhere along the second-to-last act. Octavia, the Baroness / Pathfinder Kingmaker (c) Owlcat Games

#pfkm #pfkm baroness #octavia #comic #pathfinder kingmaker fanart #pathfinder kingmaker #owlcat games #oc ailcha #spellbook #game mechanics #I tend to re-read tutorial messages for all sorts of things but this one apparently passed me right by. whoosh. gone. #“this class needs to prepare their spells” what like at camp or? and then I just forgot and was a tad annoyed after each level up. #almost all of the companions only had their level 1 and basic stuff. for most of the game. great. it was a great experience.

[cringecompanionapologist]

Top 5 Worst Days for Turlough

Okay maybe I'm as bored as I implied in the last post but this isn't a top five you're gonna find anywhere else.

Basically, here are five stories where very bad things happen to Turlough from least bad to most bad. Obviously, these are my perceptions and other people might not be put this in the same order. Also, I haven't seen everything, so I might miss something big and just not know.

Also, this turned out really fucking long because I just had to rant about number 1.

Number 5: Loups-Garoux (Big Finish Audio from 2001, written by Marc Platt)

I'm only putting this one at the bottom because Loups-Garoux is mostly a comedic story and Turlough seems to recover fine. He sees a vision of his dark side so terrifying he jumps out of a moving train and gets eaten by a werewolf, who spits him out because he has silver on him. Unlike in many of these examples, the Doctor seems a bit upset about this. But, this almost feels like business as usual.

Number 4: Trap for Fools (Big Finish Short Trip from 2018, written by Stephen Fewell)

Okay, this one might be a bit of a me thing. I can get a bit overly sensitive about the subject of mean teachers. In order to find and defeat the Monster of the Week, the Doctor has Turlough go undercover as a student at Space Brendon, basically. The Doctor seems completely oblivious to Turlough's misery and doesn't do much to help him through reliving experiences he was willing to kill to escape. This is another one that's mostly played for laughs, with most of the Horrors Turlough faces being mild bullying and a teacher pronouncing his name wrong on purpose to be a dick, but Turlough is actually intimidated by the mean teacher and mentally categorizes the other students by how much of a threat they might be and is just generally miserable the entire time.

Really, there's one bit that made me decide that this belonged on the list because it's really sad:

Someone please hug him.

Number 3: The Velvet Dark (Short Trip: Farewells from 2006, written by Stewart Sheargold)

The Master shoots Turlough with the TCE, making the Doctor think he'd just casually murdered him, only to reveal that he shrunk Turlough without killing him to make him a more manageable hostage. The Master places him in a box and shakes the box around when the Doctor hesitates in cooperating with him.

This story starts with the Master faking his death and the Doctor, Tegan, and Turlough attending his funeral. Tegan doesn't get why the Doctor is sad that the guy who killed her aunt is dead now. Turlough also doesn't get it, but he doesn't have as much of a personal reason to hate the Master, so he tries to be patient and Tegan seems kind of jealous that the Doctor listens to him more than her.

After being returned to his proper size, Turlough hates the Master just as much as Tegan does. The Doctor, apparently unable to truly hate the Master, kind of treats them both like the bad guys in this.

Number 2: Frontios (TV Serial from 1984, written by Christopher H. Bidmead)

An actual TV story! Tractators. Trion, at some point in the planet's history, was attacked by this story's Monster of the Week and now all Trions, regardless of when they were born, remember the Tractators on some level. It's never explained how this actually works, but Turlough personally had probably never heard of the Tractators until he saw a tunnel and a massacre just showed up in his brain. The Doctor awkwardly hands him off to the one-shots to go explore the tunnels, not knowing what to do about all this emotional stuff.

You'll notice that the Doctor's response to whatever happens to Turlough is a major factor in how I rank these.

Anyway...

Number 1: The King of Terror (Past Doctor Adventure novel from 2000, written by Keith Topping)

It isn't even close. The novels of the Wilderness Years (1990-2004) were aimed at an adult audience and there were very few limits on what sort of situations the Doctor and his companions could end up in. So, sometimes, shit got dark. I usually tend to find these morbidly funny, because saying things like "The Doctor and Dodo meet the Marquis de Sade" and "Doctor Who's Cannibal Holocaust" is fun. It just is. Shut up.

These books vary in quality. Some actually do interesting things with their darker subject matter while others are just sort of edgy for the sake of it. The King of Terror is in the latter category and is annoying as hell about it. I could go into way more detail about every stupid thing that happens in this book, but the Turlough stuff is the most interesting stupid thing, because of how fucked up it is.

So, Turlough, feeling a bit OOC on a trip to Los Angeles in 1999, goes to a bar, gets completely wasted, and chats up local girls trying to get laid. Then one woman stands out as hypnotically sexy, introduces herself as Eva, and invites Turlough back to her place to have sex. Turlough is too drunk to notice that this is moving a bit fast.

Anyway, Eva is actually a member of an alien species called the Jex who are trying to take over the world. They want to terraform Earth to be more like their homeworld, which has a hotter, thicker atmosphere, but their human slaves wouldn't be able to do hard labor in those conditions, so they want to genetically modify the humans to have higher heat resistance, among other things. There's something wrong with Jex DNA, so they need the DNA of some other alien with higher heat resistance.

The CIA, wanting to see where this is all going, tipped the Jex off that some aliens had just showed up in LA and Eva went out to kidnap one. Turlough then spends like half the book being experimented on to both confirm that he's an alien and that he's the right type of alien.

It's a lot of torture. I'm not even going to say any of what happens. Here's one screenshot of Turlough reflecting on all the torture happening to him that is vague but sums up why I'm not going to elaborate:

(Note: There actually is a reference to something specific in here and I apologize in advance)

Meanwhile, the Doctor and Tegan find out that Turlough's missing. Tegan seems to think that they should do something about this, while the Doctor comments jokingly on how often Turlough gets captured. He eventually gives Tegan the day off to take her mind of things, leading to a really stupid romance subplot, while he does absolutely nothing to find Turlough.

Turlough eventually very brutally murders Eva in an understandable lapse of sanity and escapes. The Doctor isn't even there when he gets back and they reunite "offscreen". From that point on, the whole subplot is basically dropped. The Doctor asks Turlough if he's okay, he lies and says he is, the Doctor knows it's a lie, but he's glad for a chance to act like it never happened.

So, it really sucks to be Turlough and I'm now exhausted.

#vislor turlough #stories to base your whump and h/c fics around #loups garoux #trap for fools #the velvet dark #frontios #the king of terror #a lot of very bad things happen to turlough #i don't even know what to tw this for #or if I need to #so sorry i guess

[feyariel]

Fey Reads Oriental Adventures 3.0 (2001)

Part 6: Chapter 7, "Magic and Spells" -- the Shaman's Spell Lists

I've had to split this post up. I was delayed because my discussion of the Shaman list was taking a while and life happened, but then I forgot that Tumblr has a character limit. I could only fit my discussion of the Shaman's spell list. The Sohei's doesn't deserve discussion and the others will wait.

Shaman Spells

Neither the Shaman nor the Sohei saw reprint in a major book; both got updated to 3.5 in a Dragon article, but while Dragon is a major source of material that appears in later books, it is usually in rough draft form and therefore should always be taken with a heaping tablespoon of salt. Thus, there isn't a true point of comparison between the Shaman (3.0) and things as they truly matter (3.5 stuffs, given rebalancing).

As I've said previously, the Shaman is a retooling of the Cleric. This is most obvious in the Shaman's spell list, which is very obviously an alteration of the Cleric's to be more setting specific (much as it was as the Shukenja in 2nd ed.). This results in two main conceits: more spells that interact with spirits over planar creatures and undead (this is almost a wash) and an adoption of some Druidic spells (both from the core list and ones which would fit a Druid). The Shaman doesn't have enough Druid spells to be considered either a variation of the Druid spell list or a straight splicing of Cleric and Druid; it has just enough for a point of comparison, but is not a great replacement for a Druid if you're going for that.

With all of this in mind, I'm going to address changes to the spell list by theme as they appear by level.

THEMATIC CHANGES

Conjured Nutrients: Unlike the Cleric, the Shaman has absolutely no ability to conjure sustenance. It is missing 0 - create water, 3 - create food and water, and 6 - heroes' feast. However, the Shaman does get the 2nd-level spell create spring (why not the Cleric [Moses]?) and the 4th-level spell sustain (think ring of sustenance). To date, this is the only divine spellcasting list I know of with 0-level spells that doesn't provide create water.

Light: The Shaman is also almost entirely unable to produce light effects -- or darkness effects, for that matter. Missing are 0 - light; 2 - darkness; and 3 - continual flame, daylight, deeper darkness, and searing light. However, despite it not making sense, the Shaman does get 7 - sunbeam.

Basic Druidry: I call this "basic druidry," but it's not even that. The Cleric already gets speak with animals and animal messenger as 2nd-level spells; the Shaman gets the former as a 1st-level spell, an animal companion (via 1 - animal friendship; the spell was dropped in 3.5) and adds 1 - calm animals, 2 - speak with plants (a spell level before the Druid), 3 - possess animal (new to OA), and 4 - snake barrier (also new). In lieu of the summon monster spells, the Shaman gains the summon nature's ally spell series. However, the Shaman loses spells dealing with vermin (4 - giant vermin, repel vermin; 5 - insect plague) and 6 - antilife shell. You'll note that the only new plant-related spell is speak with plants; all others are stuck behind the Nature and Wood domains.

Combat Spells (Conjured Weapons, Protection, Weapon Buffs): It may seem odd to say that the Shaman uses a modified Cleric spell list and for it to then drop a bunch of the standard Cleric buffs, but that's the case. The Shaman is missing 1 - divine favor, magic stone, magic weapon, sanctuary; 2 - align weapon (granted, a 3.5 spell), (bear's) endurance, shield other, spiritual weapon; 4 - divine power, greater magic weapon; 5 - disrupting weapon (also a 3.5 spell), righteous might; 6 - blade barrier, mass bear's endurance (3.5), mass bull's strength (3.5). Instead, the Shaman has 1 - attraction (new to OA), weapon bless (new to OA), 2 - warning (new to OA), and 6 - stoneskin. However, a lot of these spells are present on one or another domain list.

Compulsions: The Shaman is different in this category; it retains some of the Cleric's mind control and similar spells, drops a few (1 - commond, random action [renamed "lesser confusion"]; 2 - zone of truth; 5 - greater command, mark of justice), and adds 5 - advice (new to OA).

Language: Aside from getting tongues a level earlier than usual, the Shaman loses anything involving language (1 - comprehend languages), including letters (3 - glyph of warding; 5 - mark of justice, symbol of pain [3.5], symbol of sleep [3.5]; 6 - greater glyph of warding, symbol of fear [3.5], symbol of persuasion [3.5], word of recall; 7 - symbol of stunning [3.5], symbol of weakness [3.5]; 8 - symbol [3.0], symbol of death [3.5], symbol of insanity [3.5]), or communication (4 - sending). This is a bit odd, considering it gets 5 - dream and the [alignment] word spells. Without its signature trap spells, the Shaman also loses 2 - find traps.

Fear: The Shaman drops 1 - cause fear, remove fear, and 6 - symbol of fear (3.5), but along with dream it gains 5 - nightmare. This is because...

Dreams and Trances: ...the Shaman's spell list is full of things involving the Shaman going into a trance, which in turn allows for some dream magic. Added to the list are 1 - trance (new to OA); 3 - levitate (presumably while meditating); 4 - dream sight (new to OA); and 5 - dream, nightmare.

Alignment Spells: The Shaman doesn't have access to alignment domains as a Cleric would; instead, it adds the alignment-related spells exclusive to domain lists to its spell list (for no reason: remember, alignment isn't supposed to be as important in OA, and these spells should be on the core Cleric's list anyway), plus some new ones: 3 - castigate (new to OA; the neutral/all other alignments version of the [aligned] word spells); 4 - chaos hammer, holy smite, order's wrath, unholy blight; 8 - blasphemy, cloak of chaos, compel (new to OA), dictum, holy word. It does lose 2 - undetectable alignment, though.

Nerfed Necromancy: The Shaman has more difficulty channeling positive and negative energy, reflected in how it takes until third level to gain Turn/Rebuke Undead and a loss of several spells (2 - consecrate, death knell, desecrate, gentle repose; 3 - animate dead, negative energy protection [3.0]; 4 - death ward; 5 - hallow, unhallow; 6 - create undead, undeath to death; 8 - create greater undead; 9 - energy drain). Despite this, for some reason they get 2 - ancestral vengeance (new to OA), ghoul touch, 5 - reanimation (new to OA), and reincarnate and retains 5 - slay living.

Less Planar Crap, More Spirits: This is almost one-for-one. Gone: 4 - dimensional anchor, lesser planar ally; 5 - commune; 6 - banishment, forbiddance, planar ally; 8 - dimensional lock, greater planar ally. Delayed: 6 - plane shift. New (both to the list and in OA): 1 - trance; 2 - ancestral vengeance, commune with lesser spirit, invisibility to spirits, protection from spirits; 4 - lesser spirit ally; 5 - commune with greater spirit; 6 - spirit ally; 8 - greater spirit ally. Untouched are the ethereal jaunt series and gate.

No Elemental Spells: Much like with create water, the Shaman loses basically all of the few elemental spells on the Cleric's list: 2 - resist elements (resist energy in 3.5); 3 - meld into stone, stone shape, water breathing, water walk, wind wall; 4 - control water; 5 - flame strike, wall of stone; 8 - fire storm; 9 - storm of vengeance. Oddly, it adds three (2 - create spring (new to OA); 5 - blood of fire (new to OA), and control winds) and doesn't remove 8 - earthquake. Why this is the case when the Shaman also has (Wu Xing versions of) elemental domains is beyond me.

No [Sonic] Spells: That is, apart from the new 3rd-level spell castigate, the Shaman lacks a lot of sound-based spells which were on its list for no reason: 2 - shatter, silence, sound burst; 9 - implosion

Shapeshifting Magic: Since shapeshifters are (apparently) more of a thing in OA than in core (says who?), the Shaman has more spells relating to them. The two of these are new to OA and counter shapeshifters (4 - discern shapechanger, 6 - force shapechange), but they also get 4 - polymorph self.

Miscellany: Other losses are 2 - make whole; 3 - helping hand, invisibility purge, obscure object; 4 - imbue with spell ability, poison; and 5 - spell resistance.

There are a handful more miscellaneous spells the Shaman does get: 0 - detect disease; 2 - know motivation; 3 - detect curse, invisibility to enemies, mental strength, mental weakness, substitution; 4 - fatigue, remove fatigue; and 6 - vulnerability.

Shaman Domains

Outside of presumably the Spell Compendium, the Shaman has access to 20 domains. Of these, six are unchanged Cleric domains (Community, Healing, Knowledge, Travel,. Trickery, and War); nine are variations on core Cleric domains, with new names, new granted powers, and some spells swapped out (Flame = Fire, Fortune = Luck, Fury = PF's Destruction, Grave = Death, Guardian = Protection, Hero = Strength, River = Water, Stone = Earth, Wood = Plant); and five are new (Ancestor, Celestial, Divination, Metal, and Nature).

Spells marked with an asterisk (*) are new to OA. Spells in green aren't on the Shaman's spell list.

ANCESTOR. Literal necromancy. Granted Power: +4 insight on any one check 1/day. Spells: 1 - detect undead, 2 - ancestral vengeance,* 3 - speak with dead, 4 - divination, 5 - atonement, 6 - geas/quest, 7 - legend lore, 8 - compel,* 9 - foresight.

CELESTIAL. AKA the Spirit domain. It's presumably "Celestial" in reference to the Celestial Bureaucracy, justifying dictum as a filler spell. Granted Power: Rebuke (etc.) Spirits 3 + Cha mod/day. Spells: 1 - bless, 2 - commune with lesser spirit,* 3 - substitution,* 4 - lesser spirit ally,* 5 - commune with greater spirit,* 6 - spirit ally,* 7 - dictum, 8 - greater spirit ally, 9 - gate.

DIVINATION. Renamed the Oracle domain in 3.5, but with commune instead of commune with greater spirit. Best in 3.5 due to mechanical changes.

FORTUNE. The Luck domain. The only changes are 3 - substitution* and 8 - surelife.*

FURY. A predecessor to the Destruction domain as it would appear in Pathfinder, with many of the same and several similar spells (instead of the inflict wounds series), but retaining 3.0/3.5's smite anything 1/day ability. Granted Power: 1/day Smite Anything (on declared attack, gain +4 Attack and +Shaman level damage). Spells: 1 - weapon bless,* 2 - shatter, 3 - castigate,* 4 - shout, 5 - circle of doom (3.0; mass inflict light wounds, 3.5), 6 - harm, 7 - destruction, 8 - earthquake, 9 - implosion.

GRAVE. The Death domain save for the following spell changes: 1 - ghost light,* 4 - wall of bones.*

GUARDIAN. Thematically, the Protection domain. Granted Power: 1/day add Shaman level to single save. 1 - shield of faith, 2 - warning,* 3 - substitution,* 4 - snake barrier,* 5 - dispel CEGL (yes, all four spells), 6 - stoneskin, 7 - repulsion, 8 - surelife,* 9 - antipathy.

HERO. A variation on the Strength domain. Granted Power: 1/day add Shaman level to attack roll. Spells: 1 - divine favor, 2 - bull's strength, 3 - protection from elements, 4 - divine power, 5 - righteous might, 6 - stoneskin, 7 - Tenser's transformation, 8 - giant size,* 9 - shapechange.

Because Tumblr has a limit on entries and characters in bulleted lists, I split the elemental/druidic domains off:

FLAME. As the Fire domain, but with a new granted power (flame ward: 1/day give you or creature touched +Shaman level resistance bonus to saves against Fire effects for 1 + 1/Shaman level minutes) and the following different spells: 3 - animate fire,* 5 - fire breath,* 9 - internal fire.*

METAL. It's very literal and has nothing to do with the Artifice domain. None of its spells are on the Shaman spell list. Granted Power: Metal Ward (as Flame Domain's flame ward, but DR 1 vs. metal weapons and spells that deal with metal). Spells: 1 - iron scarf,* 2 - heat metal, 3 - magnetism,* 4 - rusting grasp, 5 - wall of iron, 6 - blade barrier, 7 - move earth, 8 - repel metal or stone, 9 - iron body.

NATURE. The Shaman-as-Druid domain, thanks mainly to getting an expanded version of the Plant domain's power and higher level spells from the Druid list. Granted Power: Rebuke (etc.) "normal" animals (not sure what that means) or plant creatures 3 + Cha/day. Spells 1 - trance,* 2 - commune with lesser spirit,* 3 - possess animal,* 4 - elemental ward,* 5 - commune with greater spirit,* 6 - transport via plants, 7 - control weather, 8 - animal shapes, 9 - shapechange.

RIVER. As the Water domain, but with a new granted power (Swim speed 30 ft.) and two new spells (2 - animate water,* 6 - master of the rolling river*).

STONE. A variation of the Earth domain. It keeps earthquake, but delays it to 8th level (as a normal Cleric). Otherwise, it gains a new granted power (Earth Ward: as the Metal domain's Metal Ward, but DR 5 instead of DR 1 against stone weapons, creatures, and spells) and changes two spells (2 - hail of stone,* 7 - statue).

WOOD. Like the Plant domain, but with changestaff and command plants delayed a level. Granted Power: Druid's Woodland Stride. Spells: 1 - animate wood,* 2 - tree shape, 3 - speak with plants, 5 - tree stride, 7 - ironwood.

Community, Healing, Knowledge, Travel, Trickery, and War are as otherwise printed.

[whats-rambled-rambled]

Long Nights - part 2

Neil x Reader

Chapter 2: Praise you

(see chapter 1)

summary: you found tremendous joy in coming up with new ways to make the lockpicking sessions challenging. And entertaining. 

...even if the last part was mostly a one-sided thing.

warnings: 18+, explicit language, teasing, implied smut I guess? oh, and of course - ✨hand content✨

author’s note: Took me a while, but it was fun to write! Didn’t expect it to get this long, but here we are - over 4,2k words of shameless hand content

The song for this chapter is Fatboy Slim - Praise you

Anyway, enjoy! All feedback is greatly appreciated, let me know what you think?

——————

Tag list: @vaneilla @gallifreyan-uprising​ @ergunbilge @invertedneil @wanderedaway​ @truly-insatiable​ (let me know if you want to be added or removed from the list)

-----

You cracked it.

It took you a good while, though. A whole sleepless night, even.

And half of the morning after that.

But maybe the absolute exhaustion was the key, pun intended.

At first, it boggled your mind so much that you were dangerously close to using brute force just to examine that lock. You tried every technique that you could think of - to no effect. It wasn’t like anything you’d seen before. The mechanism wasn’t responding as usual, it was more like a thing from goddamn Upside Down, or however the fuck that was called.

It became a matter of pride.

The sun had risen over an hour ago and the sunlight was pouring through the gaps in the blinds. Grasping at the last strands of sanity, you decided to take a break. You put on your headphones and danced around your apartment to the sounds of a song with that one bloody line that somehow seemed fitting for this madness.

Is it worth it? Let me work it, I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it

Because it felt exactly like that was what had happened to it. And no amount of cursing and switching tools would help in the face of glitched reality.

And when you sat down at your desk again, with your head so empty that your last brain cell was amusing itself by yodeling and listening to an echo, you bound the first pin. The sound was so distorted it almost startled you. The last thing you needed right then was to break the hook inside the keyway, so you leveled your breath and continued, even though your fingers cramped painfully. That wasn’t enough to stop you. Not as you finally got proof that the task was actually within your reach. 

With every click like a backwards version of the sound you knew so well, the next pins got set quicker and smoother. And when you opened the lock, you couldn’t help the cheerful scream that escaped your mouth.

“Fuck yes!” You punched the air, the adrenaline rushing through your veins, the biggest grin lighting up your face.

That’s when you knew there was no way you were going to sleep anytime soon. Besides, you still didn’t know how you managed to convince that device to cooperate. You had to prove to yourself that it wasn’t dumb luck, and should you ever come upon a bloody nightmare like that, you’d be able to use the experience to crack it open. Because of that, you spent the next couple of hours reverse-picking it (which turned out to be another level of bonkers) to lock the damn thing, only to open it back again. And again. And then three times more. When you got comfortable with the process, your eyes were burning, your fingers stiff and trembling, but the immense satisfaction was worth every bit of it.

You were about to crash on the bed as your phone buzzed, and you glanced at the incoming message.

//did you pick it?

At first, you assumed you got it from Mahir, but as you were typing in a long rant, you realized that there was no history of the previous conversations on the screen, so you checked the sender again.

Neil.

Huh.

You’d exchanged the numbers the day before, but you didn’t expect to hear from him until they got everything ready to start the lessons. Oh well. You snapped the picture of the open lock and sent it back, adding a short message.

          //that was fun, hope you have more of them

As you faceplanted on the bed, the phone buzzed with a reply.

//N: you bet

You couldn’t wait to get all the answers about how they managed to manufacture the most bizarre and mind-bending thing you’d ever seen, but there was no point in asking those questions over the phone. Plus, you really needed to get some rest.

          //awesome! now excuse me, imma get some Zs - let me know when you  guys are ready to start

After a second, you typed in another text.

          //ps. how’s your nose?

//N: will do, sleep well!

//N: as for my nose...let’s say I’m glad it wasn’t the straightest one in the first place

That cheeky bastard.

          //hey, don’t try to guilt-trip me, i’m trying to sleep

You almost drifted off, but you couldn’t resist checking that last notification.

//N: ...I wouldn’t dare

Snorting, you rolled to the side.

Then you fell asleep, dreaming of the impossible locks.

-------

It took them another day to prepare all the stuff, and after several further messages you got a date and location.

The building looked like a contemporary tenement house, definitely standing out from two older ones at its sides. You always assumed it belonged to one of those fancy start-ups, but apparently it was some sort of temporary headquarters of your new associates.

It didn’t surprise you that you weren’t given a tour of the place, you assumed you needed to have some sort of clearance to walk freely through the area. For now, you were restricted to the ground floor, or rather to the lobby and your classroom - a rather cozy space, but equipped with everything you needed to begin.

Neil turned out to be a fast learner, at least when it came to covering the theoretical side of lockpicking. You walked him through the basics, but you couldn’t help the itch in the back of your brain. After the encounter with the preposterous lock, your mind started to question everything that used to be unshakeable.

And of course you asked Neil about that bloody device as soon as you saw him, but he just smiled lightly and said that The Protagonist insisted on telling you all that himself when the time was right. So you had nothing left to do but to continue with the lessons, hoping that you the man himself would decide to grace you with his presence sooner than later.

You propped the chin on your hand and watched as Neil grabbed the tools. Your gaze wandered over his outrageously long fingers as he gave the lock a try, but apparently, the most idiotic grin on your face didn’t go unnoticed.

“Hey, eyes up here,” snorted Neil, and you looked at him just to meet his amused face. He caught you shamelessly staring, and there was no point in denying it.

Trying to salvage your mental coherence, you choked out, “Dude, your hands are--”

“What?” he asked, tilting his head.

“...huge,” you finished, the wide smile not leaving even for a second. You bit your lip and glanced back at Neil. “Don’t mind me, I’m just gonna stare for a bit longer.”

A hint of a blush crept upon his cheeks. My, oh my. Blinking rapidly, he cleared his throat and proceeded to bind the first pin, pressing his mouth into a thin line in an attempt to keep a composed demeanor. The sparkles in his gaze were quite telling, though.

The sight was utterly adorable, but more importantly, it planted a rather gut-busting idea into your head.

You stifled a giggle.

All in due time.

____

One of the perks of the location was a small cafe on the other side of the street.

Neil took you there on your second day during a break, walking in with a confidence of a true regular. He knew the staff by name and vice-versa, so it didn’t surprise you as he charmed his way through the conversation.

“I’ve got this,” he said, raising a hand to stop you before you could place your order. “One black coffee and one--...” he hesitated, still preventing you from chiming in. You crossed your arms and watched as his forehead creased, the confidence leaving him with every second passed. He narrowed his eyes, and you could almost hear the gears grinding in his head.

Whatever he was doing, or trying to do, it was time to put him out of his misery.

“Iced mocha for me, please,” you said, wondering which one of you had a more puzzled expression. “Cat got your tongue?”

Neil shook his head.

“No, it’s just…” - he let out a small sigh - “I can’t read you.”

“Good,” you snorted. “Why would you want to, anyway?”

The young barista smiled, putting the first coffee on the counter.

“Oh, your colleague here has a thing.”

“Oh?” You arched a brow. “Do tell!”

“It’s nothing,” said Neil, cringing slightly, but it wasn’t enough to prevent the enthusiastic answer from spilling from the barista.

“He likes to guess the orders of his companions, but this is prolly the first time I ever saw him freeze like that. Can’t wait to tell Doris!”

Neil groaned, avoiding your amused stare. “Spare me, Max.”

“Aww, man, I’m honored to be your first!” you teased, nudging his arm lightly and snickering at the absolutely done face he gave you in return.

That cafe quickly became your place of choice during breaks, but sometimes, if the weather was nice enough, you ordered to-go, just to spend that bit of free time between lockpicking sessions sitting on a grassy hill overlooking a bank of the river. You chatted about everything and nothing in particular, or simply sat in silence, enjoying the ambiance, beverages, and each other’s company.

The last thing took you by surprise, in a way. You’d expected those brief moments of a break during the day to be your sacred moments of solitude, the usual necessity to avoid getting too cranky around people. As Neil joined you on that second day, you found out that his presence was not bothering you, or at least your social batteries weren’t being drained in their regular manner. Sure, it probably helped that he was incredibly easy on the eyes, but a real treat were those moments when you ventured onto a territory he felt strongly about. In a wink, he was ready to drop his typical composure just to go straight into bubbly rants, gesturing wildly, the blue irises lit by the fire that he most often kept under wraps.

There was nothing more boring than people who lacked passion.

Lucky for you, that was not the case with Neil.

Moreover, he made you laugh.

A dangerous combination.

Alluring, even.

Good thing that you were not one to become smitten that easily.

That didn’t mean you couldn’t have some fun, though.

--------

“You need to listen to what the lock has to say,” you prompted, pacing through the room and watching as Neil struggled with a new type of mechanism. “It’s all about feedback.”

He pulled out the tools and rubbed his face, trying to hide the first hints of frustration.

“What if we apply heavier tension to amplify it?” he said and glared at the lock as if it was taunting him from its place on the practice stand.

“Sure, “ - you leaned over the table to rest the chin on your laced fingers - “but can you think of any reasons not to do that, my dear Physics Boy?”

“The higher possibility of breaking tools?”

“Precisely,” you said as you snapped and pointed your fingers. ”Also, you risk binding the pins too tightly and you wouldn’t want that, either.”

Neil sighed and slumped his shoulders.

“So...patience, then?”

“Yes,” you beamed. “It really comes down to one thing - you have to feel it.”

A corner of his lips twitched. “I’ve heard it before,” he said, shifting in his seat.

You shrugged, eyeing him curiously.  

“Maybe because that’s one universally useful advice?”

“Would help if I understood it, too.” He gave you a weak smile, but his expression told you he wasn’t convinced.

You hummed in acknowledgment.

“Listen, I can smarten it up for you, but let me just show you what I mean.” You grabbed the second pair of tools from the table and placed them inside the keyway, but as soon as you opened your mouth to provide some follow-up instructions, you got struck by a better idea. Your eyes flared up. “Okay, know what? I’m just gonna-- if you could scoot back a bit--...” you said, shuffling in his direction. Neil’s brows snapped together in consternation, but he moved back. Without further ado, you sat down in front of him, nestling yourself between his spread legs on the edge of the chair, and let out a content sigh. “Should be easier now. Put your hands on mine.“

Neil tensed, and you could swear you heard him swallowing hard behind your back. He followed your suggestion, wrapping his arms around you and placing his hands on top of yours.  

“Now, lay your fingers on the tools just above mine,” you continued as you slid your digits back to make more room for him. “Great, try not to press them and focus. Close your eyes, if you want.” As you gently moved the tools, you couldn’t resist but to add, “You can breathe though, you know?”

“Blimey.”

You giggled at the sarcastic bit in his tone and drew a long breath, hoping that Neil would follow it, and focused back on the lock. Purposefully slowing down your movements to allow him to feel how the mechanism responded to your ministrations, you kept sliding the hook back and forth the keyway, setting pin after pin. Neil relaxed after a moment, his shallow breath ghosting over your shoulder got deeper and more steady. His palms rested heavier on your hands, and you marveled at their size again, nibbling on your bottom lip. With all your senses sharpened, you stole a brief moment of self-indulgence, closing your eyes and relishing in the warmth radiating from Neil, the way it enveloped you, carrying a scent of his cologne - airy citrus undertones mixed with hints of powdery musk, a fresh and unostentatious combination you found fitting him so well.

The final click, more pressure and voilà - the lock was open.

“Did you feel it?” you asked softly, weirdly unwilling to move, hoping to linger in the position for a little while longer.  

“Yes,” said Neil, and his husky voice made you turn your head to look at him. As he pulled his hands back somewhat hesitantly, you noticed his dazed expression and slightly flushed cheeks.

“Good,” you chirped, grinning, then reached out over your shoulder and lightly booped his nose, enjoying probably a bit too much the way his eyes widened. “Your turn.”

-----

Days. Weeks. Or was it months, plural?

You lost track of how much time had passed since that morning in the Old Town district.

The progress was counted by the number of models you introduced to Neil, showing him all the tricks you’d learned over the years. You still waited for the meeting with The Protagonist, although, ever since your student spilled a little too much information during one of his enthusiastic rants at the breaks (seriously, how could a person that bad at keeping secrets survive so long in any sort of spying business was beyond you), your initial curiosity itch had been scratched, and you were now in that blessed moment before it got unbearable again and demanded taking further actions.

It also helped that you found tremendous joy in coming up with new ways to make the lockpicking sessions challenging. And entertaining. Even if the last part was mostly a one-sided thing.

Neil was clearly feeling confident that evening. He really started to get a hang of this, and you loved watching him like that - fully focused, blonde strands falling to the eyes, with the tip of the tongue poking out...

It would be a shame if someone was to test his level of concentration.

“You know, I spend so much time looking at your hands that they recently started making cameos in my dreams.”

The blue eyes darted at you from under raised brows.

“Is that so?" asked Neil, switching his attention to the lock again.

“Yep. Mind you, most of those dreams are rather uneventful.” You pouted, sliding from your place on the windowsill. “Still waiting for one that is not so boringly PG-13.”

He pressed his lips into a thin line and swallowed with effort.

...warmer...

Circling the table, you stopped behind Neil’s chair.

"I’m just saying,” - leaning over, you purred right into his ear - ”that such long fingers like yours can give a girl all sorts of ideas--"

Snap.

You bit back a satisfied smile and smacked your tongue. “Those were perfectly fine tools, you know.”

Neil turned in his seat and gaped at you.

“Why are you like this?” he complained, helpless and flustered.

You shrugged. “I thought it was a high time for a little stress test. Might come in handy later.” Snickering at his puzzled face, you added, “What? You’re not exactly in a stress-free line of work.”

He shook the head lightly and scoffed. “... yeah, I see your point,” he said, a corner of his mouth curling into a half-smile. “But I don’t think there’s a high risk of someone trying to seduce me in the field.”

“Do you think that’s what I’m doing?” you asked, arching a brow, your tone nothing but serious.

“I-...”

The panicked look on his face as he blinked rapidly was more than enough to break your deadpan façade.

“Oh man, I’m just pulling your leg. You should’ve seen your face though.” Giggling, you grabbed a fresh lock from a shelf and tossed it to Neil. He sighed and replaced the messed-up device. “Besides,” you continued, “if there is one thing that the espionage movies have taught me, it’s that the spy always has plenty of beautiful creatures willing to keep his bed warm.”

The playful sparks appeared in Neil’s eyes.

“Is this a very elaborate way of asking me if I’m seeing someone or are you volunteering?”

Well, well, well.

“What if it’s both?”

“Then the first answer is no. As for the second one--” he hesitated, tugging the bottom lip between the teeth. “...a follow-up question - is it a good idea?”

You tilted your head, sitting down on the edge of the table in front of him.

“Why?”

“What if it’s gonna make things… I don’t know, weird?”

You gestured vaguely. “Can’t get any weirder than all your timey-wimey, inverted entropy bullshit.”

“That’s not exactly--”

“I know what you meant,” you sighed and met his darkened gaze, a shade of smile tainting your lips. “And yet, you’re trying to appeal to my reason while looking at me like that.” You left your seat and grabbed your backpack. “It’s getting late. Finish with this one and get some rest.”

Then you left, not waiting for a reply.

It was one of the warm nights and you decided to take a walk. A promenade near the river was not as crowded as you expected, making your journey home way more enjoyable. With your favourite tunes seeping through the headphones, you took in the view, the city lights reflecting in the water only added to the ambiance.

The phone buzzed in your pocket.

//N: I can’t believe you left like that

You chuckled, texting him back.

          //why, you had any plans?

The answer came almost instantly.

//N: maybe

He was adorable. But--

          //have you finished with the lock?

//N: …no    

//N: wait are you gonna use our conversation as some sort of motivational tool now

Even if you weren’t, after getting a message like that?

You just had to.

          //maybe?

//N: jesus

          //sex is but a great metaphorical carrot. besides - it’s all about that delayed gratification and whatnot

A moment of silence.

And then:

//N: you’re evil.

That spiteful period at the end got you snickering loudly, earning you some curious looks.

A huge grin lit up your face.

          //gn <3

-----

You must admit, that game was quite exciting.

And Neil was getting better at it, and soon implying became no longer enough to make him lose his focus.

At first, it was relatively easy to prompt a blush or a slight tremble of a hand. But with every next attempt, he grew more and more resilient, and soon, the only indication that he heard you was the fire burning in his eyes.

Then you got really mean, throwing some ambitious tasks in front of him, tricky locks and complex mechanisms, as your teasing got more straightforward.

And descriptive.

It became hard to shake it off once you left the training room. The lingering looks. The accidental touches. The atmosphere, almost electric. In other words - the heat sink was ready to be popped, and it was no longer a matter of if, but more of when.

“4 minutes.”

Neil barely nodded, lips pressed together and brows knitted in concentration.

3 locks in 15 minutes. Difficult, but doable, considering his current level of skill. Too bad he’d slacked at the second one, not leaving too much time for the final push. Sure, you didn’t go easy on him along the way, but the real challenge was supposed to be a race against the clock, so now you just watched him with bated breath.

Click.

You checked the time.

“45 seconds”

“Goddamnit!” he uttered through gritted teeth, readjusting cramping fingers on the tools.

“Come on, you’ve got this,” you said, taking a step closer.

Another click.

He didn’t know that there was only one pin left to set. You did, that’s why you tried your best not to reveal it with your expression. Too early to celebrate, anyway.

“Nine... eight… seven… six… five…”

That’s when you heard a final click and you looked up from your phone, only to see the lock giving in and opening up.

“Yeah!” Neil cheered, banging a fist on the table and tossing the tools away.

You smiled, hiding the phone in the pocket. “Good job, I knew--” but before you could finish a sentence, Neil sprung up from his chair and closed the gap between you, then cupped your face with his palms and kissed you hungrily.

You froze for a second, but as your mind caught up, you kissed him back, tugging at the light blue shirt. He smiled against your lips and made you back away until you hit the wall, huffing at the sudden coldness of the surface. But he was bent on kissing you senseless until you both ended up gasping for air.

“You’re so paying for all that teasing,” he panted, running the tip of the tongue through his swollen lips. “Not to mention, you’ve given me a few fascinating ideas, and I’m very much willing to give them all a try.”

You grinned, fighting with your evidently short-circuiting brain for a grasp of coherence as his hands traveled down your body.

“My, my, all of them?”

“The night is young,” - his throaty chuckle sent a wave of heat through your body - “and I’m up for a challenge.”

“I’m counting on it,” you breathed, burying your fingers in his hair, and pulling him into a kiss again.

Actually, the challenge started right away, and that meant getting to Neil’s place, as the company conveniently rented him a room in a nearby hotel. Walking distance, but in your current quite heated state, every distance seemed way too long. Especially when you had to keep up appearances.

At least until the elevator’s door closed behind you.

The dark gaze fixed on you. Your breaths intertwining. His bottom lip between your teeth. The five o’clock shadow under your fingertips. Your hands sliding under his shirt. His knee parting your legs. The intoxicating smell of his cologne. Your quiet moan. His tongue slipping into your mouth--

A quiet sound announced you reached your floor, and you stumbled out into the corridor, giggling, unable to keep hands and lips off each other.

Your back hit the door, barely missing the knob. Without skipping a beat, Neil reached to the pocket of his pants, then into the other one. When he tried the third one, you broke the kiss, your expression nothing but innocent.

“Looking for this?” you asked, showing him a key card.

He furrowed his brows. “Yes, thank you, I don’t know how--...” he started, but when he tried to snatch his property, you hid your hand behind your back. His jaw went slack as it dawned on him and he stared at you in disbelief. “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh, but I am.”

He groaned.

“You’re unbelievable,” he uttered as he pulled out his wallet. “Credit card?”

“Only if you’re not overly attached to it.” The roguish lights danced in your gaze. “Especially when you’re in a hurry,” you hinted, palming over the bulge in his pants. Neil squeezed his eyes shut, biting back a moan, and you stifled a chuckle. “Try any membership card.”

He glared at you. “You’re so in for it, you have no idea.”

“Promises, promises,” you pouted, trying not to burst into laughter at his wounded expression. “Work it.”

“Gladly, just tell me what to do.”

So you walked him through the process.

Fortunately, Neil really was a fast learner, making the door give way in no time.

“Good boy,” you hummed, and the blue eyes flared up.

He crashed his lips on yours, closing the door behind you.

Then he gave you a taste of what was coming for you.

And then some more.

And then…

...he gave you all.

(next chapter ->)

#neil tenet x reader #neil x reader #neil tenet fanfiction #neil tenet #robert pattinson #tenet #tenet fanfiction #long nights

[ot3]

jay can you post your thoughts again without epilogue spoilers i haven't finished orv yet :(

YES i can the epilogue spoilers are pretty broad-strokes here so not too much will be lost so here is Literally The Same Post but with any epilogue mentions cut out. i believe almost anything i mention specifically here occurs prior to chapter 300, for reference.

okay normally in terms of making this kind of post i’d go pull quotes directly from the text and i honestly really want to but i’m supposed to be catching up on homework today and can’t justify taking the time. anyway. i’m just gonna they/them yjh here because i’m never sure what pronouns to use when talking about a character who i think Should Come Out in the Future.

first things first, everything about being a transcender is very gendery. prominent transcenders in ORV are

- kyrgios, an incredibly beautiful man who is self conscious of his small stature

- breaking the sky sword saint namgung minyoung, who is a woman of an unusually large stature, thought by some to be monstrous, who teaches a discipline of martial arts exclusively for women.

- jang hayoung, a trans girl, who is the king of transcenders

- yoo jonghyuk.

when they talk about transcendence in orv there are two very specific things that come up repeatedly: 1. being able to overcome the natural limitations of the body and 2. defying the structure opposed onto them by the star stream system. Specifically an interesting note about that last bit is that there’s this whole thing about how transcendence can only exist because the star stream exist - it exclusively exists in opposition to the rigorous hierarchy of the star stream, which is the dominant social narrative, and has no meaning or power on it’s own.

In a text like orv’s, i don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to see ‘characters who are social outcasts attempt to gain power by forging a sense of self outside of the dominant order and overcoming the limitations of their physical body’ and read it as a metaphor for being transgender. but then, on top of that, there’s all the stuff with the punisher

everything that’s in orv is there for a reason. there is an insanely little amount of wasted space in this novel. despite how much shit that happens it’s an incredibly tight narrative. SO WHY DO WE INTRODUCE THE CONCEPT THAT YOO JONGHYUK IS STRONGEST WHEN TRANSFORMED INTO A WOMAN? obviously it’s just incredibly fun hijinks in and of itself to have yoo jonghyuk’s gender get transed, but literally all of this begs the question of “why write it so that yoo jonghyuk’s primary martial art form is something that’s supposed to only be learned by women.”

the narrative doesn’t ever really address the in-universe reasoning behind why they can actually learn it. kim dokja gives us what boils down to ‘he manage to overcome that’ without no real elaboration. jang hayoung learns breaking the sky swordsmanship as well. whatever gender-based qualification is used to allow people to learn the skill, it’s not a biological gender-essentialist one.

the punisher introduction pays off when YJH uses that appearance to win the martial arts festival, but to me that mechanical, narratively-oriented reason for its inclusion doesn’t justify it’s presence in the story in and of itself.

What really stuck out to me on the read through later was this line, from the demon king selection arc, when yjh takes the punisher’s form to combat the constellations after kim dokja has passed out.

A dazzling aura burst from Yoo Jonghyuk’s body. Soft hair poured down like a waterfall while his large size became a smaller and sleeker body. He took the form that allowed him to practice the ultimate Breaking the Sky Swordsmanship. Yoo Sangah stared at the scene from behind and couldn’t help opening her mouth. “…Yoo Jonghyuk-ssi?”

Yoo Jonghyuk slowly turned back, his long hair cut off by the Black Demon Sword. The ines of the face had changed but it was clearly Yoo Jonghyuk. No, it was even more than before.

basically, after appearing to their companions as a woman, the narrative tells us yoo jonghyuk looks more like yoo jonghyuk than before.

this reading also makes even more sense when you interpret it through the lens of how power hierarchy actually works in orv’s narrative. incarnation, constellation, and transcenders alike all gain their truest power from their stories. the Story of yoo jonghyuk as a woman is one that is, quite literally, empowering.

although we know it’s not actually true, yjh himself and kdj’s understanding and interpretation of yjh, present yjh as a person whose only goal in life is to, by any means including the sacrificing of countless human lives, some of whom he is very personally close to, gain the power to overcome the star stream. but here we have a significant power boost yjh seems to actively avoid taking advantage of. which really suggests there’s some deeper emotional issues at play here.

which brings me to my last point: i think it would just be a very fitting end for the character.

yjh as a character is really defined by a lack of agency, from the way their sponsor keeps them trapped in a loop of endless suffering, to the fact that they are literally a fictional character. i think the most meaningful end for yjh is an end where they have to construct their own sense of self. once the story is over, the character gets to make their own choice about what kind of person to be. 

it’s kim dokja’s status as a ‘reader’ that allows him to have the greatest influence on the story. back before kim dokja seems to come to grips with jang hayoung’s gender identity, what people keep telling him is that there is ‘more than one interpretation of a story’. on a physical level, constellations and high level incarnations are composed of their stories. in orv canon the Self and the Story are for all intents and purposes, synonymous. 

yjh’s story has been told and read by quite literally anyone but themself up to this point. coming out as a trans woman would be a radical reclamation of his own story, both re-reading their past and re-writing their future, and i think it’s a reading the text explicitly goes out of its way to give some support to.

#olive-the-olive

[a-master-procrastinator]

Space Barbie updates, sale edition (1/2)

Thanks to collection unlocks sale (and I would say armor sale as well, but I wasn't able to get anything), I got a couple of outfits (and color crystals) for the whole account. Didn't get too much stuff bc I only had CC from subscription, but I should be able to get more until sale ends.

First, may I show off her cute blue jacket once more (bc it's so cute)? Secret Agent set is now unlocked for all characters (which also means I could put theron in it on any alt hehe).

Second, I though one cold-weather outfit wasn't enough for Ixess, so here's another one (for more cold planets loke Hoth and Ilum). Plus, thanks to collection unlock sale, I got Polar Exploration set (what Akaavi wears) for all characters, so this is going to be basic clothes for Hoth for most companions and some characters (and it dyes well!).

I also wanted to give Xaetel a purple lightsaber, not the one from crafting, but a lighter one (derelict purple crystal in this case). Went to GTN to check the price... something around 17 mil? Yeah, not doing that. Changed server, checked the very same crystal on GTN and yay, it's only 1 mil! So I bought it, equipped and then unlocked for like 60 CC (instead of 240). It also looks surprisingly good with copper color crystal.

Not related to sale, but thanks to double xp event and crew skill missions I got Val to the required level for the third outfit (51 or something like that) and Light II for the last outfit, so their collection of outfits is almost complete (only cold weather clothes remain).

Also, look at this color! I love it so much! (it's almond-blue crystal, if anyone is wondering).

And finally, after so long, Infamous Bounty Hunter set is available for all characters, which means: 1) cool bracers and helmet for everyone who needs them, and 2) I have an excuse to replay Jett again because this outfit better reflects what I have in mind than her previous set for chapter 1.

There were a couple of less important unlocks too (emotes, weapons or clothes for companions).

#secondary black dye my beloved #okay let's unlock even more stuff! #swtor #space barbie is the real endgame #legacy (verse): seinna

[elencelebrindal]

What's your ranking for the Bronze Saints?

The very short answer is:

1. Shun

2. Ikki

3. Shiryu

4. Hyoga

5. Seiya

6. All the other ones (aka Jabu, Nachi, Ichi, Ban, Geki, and June).

The long answer is under the cut ‘cause I keep rambling about stuff. Keep in mind: this is a very long post. 

1. Andromeda Shun

(Since I already answered for him, I’ll copy-paste the answer here, so I won’t force you to click on a link to a different post if you haven’t seen that post yet. Same image and everything)

Shun is, in my opinion, the strongest of them all. Yes, even stronger than Ikki.  I see countless people saying that Shun is weak and/or useless just because he doesn’t want to fight or because he calls Ikki for help, and I have one thing to say about that: kindness does not equal weakness. Shun is not weak, he refuses to fight unless he has to.  The most blatant example I can give you of his strength is the fight against Aphrodite, the only battle Shun actively wanted to fight. You can see how dangerous he can be, when he’s willing to put aside his non-belligerent attitude. Shun is merciful, he doesn’t want to resolve everything with violence. This doesn’t mean he’s not one of the deadliest fighters out there, if not the deadliest, given his ability.

Let’s NOT forget Shun was able to hold his ground against Saga, who is said to be one of the most powerful Saints of his generation. He went as far as striking Saga in the Pope’s chamber, he managed to reach him with not that much effort. This is something people often gloss over, but it’s one of the greatest examples out there of Shun’s incredible power.  To fight him, Seiya needed all the help he could get from his companions. Shun, instead, fought by himself, didn’t die or get lost in the Another Dimension, and was able to get his chains near Saga without him being unable to stop the boy.

Most importantly, Shun is depicted as “weak” only in works not written by Kurumada. Non-canon episodes are the only ones in which Shun is not capable of keeping up with the other Saints. This is obviously proof of him being weakened by outside people, and not of him being weak by default.

Another point in his favor it’s the Seventh Sense: he awakened it during the Sanctuary batte, right? Well, wrong. According to his teacher, Shun reached the Seventh Sense way before that. Or at least, the potential of the Seventh Sense.  Shun cannot be considered weak, and shouldn’t be considered weak, because he’s definitely not. Now, as for why I think he’s more powerful than Ikki, to me it’s obvious that he’s stronger than him. Maybe not physically, in fact I don’t think there’s anyone in the Bronzes that physically stronger than Ikki (no, not even Shiryu), but as far as his cosmo goes…  Ikki has the advantage of not dying, Phoenix and whatnot, but Shun has a more powerful cosmo. You can easily see this by taking into consideration the Nebula Storm, a technique so powerful that, if not controlled, reaches a point when it’s impossible to be stopped. This is incredibly destructive, extremely lethal, and Shun uses it without his Cloth.  This is something similar to what Shiryu does, because they both can access their full cosmo without wearing a Cloth, but Shun has a clear advantage: he doesn’t have a weak spot. Where Shiryu could be easily killed if hit in the right place, Shun doesn’t have that weakness. Which, at least in my opinion, makes him better than Shiryu.

The last example I want to give you is the immense plot twist of him being Hades’ host.  Not necessarily the fact that he can withstand the soul of a god binding with his own, but the fact that he was able to get the upper hand against Hades.  If Shun was really as weak as a lot of people want to believe, than explain to me how in the everloving Hell did Shun managed to take back control over his body, keep a hold of Hades to give his brother an opportunity, and accept that he needed to die in order to get rid of the deity.  He didn’t last long, sure, but he was fighting Hades.  Not only that, but not long after being freed from Hades, Shun took back his Cloth, donned it, and fought again like he wasn’t just possessed by a deity. He managed to burn his cosmo enough to “unlock” the Divine Cloth despite having endured Hades’ control over his body and soul. To this day, I’m still annoyed at how easily Hypnos defeated him, taking into account what happened just a few moment before.

This might not be enough to convince other people of Shun’s true potential, but it’s enough for me to believe he’s absolutely the strongest Bronze Saint, and maybe even one of the strongest Saints in general.  Don’t forget that this young man right here can wear the Virgo Cloth. He is the next Virgo Saint, and that’s a given for me. And you know how unbelievably powerful a Saint with that constellation normally is.

 2. Phoenix Ikki

Well, he is canonically placed above most Silver Saints in terms of strength. There’s no denying Ikki is one of the most powerful Saints out there, he’s basically unstoppable. Not only that, he had one huge advantage on his side, his inability to actually die.  Ikki was already strong as a kid, as the story reminds us more than once, physically being the strongest among the orphans, and we all know how he dethroned Jango and took control of Dead Queen Island with almost no effort.  Most notably, he has a unique cosmo; as Kanon stated, when he faced him, it’s full of hatred (which is Guilty’s fault), something weird for a Saint of Athena. This hatred was shown to aid him at first, so much that he used to unleash his cosmo without any second though and with unending rage, so i feel like it’s worth telling.  In his favor there’s also the fact he has a pure warrior attitude. Ikki fights and that’s it, no second guesses, no hesitation. The only time he hesitated was against Hades, because he didn’t want to kill his brother. You can imagine what a behavior like that will bring to a battlefield without me telling you. 

Though, I don’t consider him to be the strongest. In terms of raw power he is terrifying, no questions asked, but he doesn’t reach that level of pure cosmo power that’s able to completely annihilate everything and anything like Shun.  He’s fearsome, of course, and he knows how powerful he is (countless times this self-awareness could be observed). I, on the other hand, consider him to physically be the strongest of them all. Without his cosmo, Ikki would still be able to kick everyone’s ass, I don’t doubt it even for a second.  Even though Shun is the strongest overall, Ikki’s physical strength is unprecedented for a Bronze Saint. No one can tell me otherwise. He blasted too many people into oblivion for me to think otherwise. 

What makes him even more fearsome is the fact that he becomes stronger each time he dies (like a Phoenix, after all), and the fact that he is extremely intelligent. Ikki is capable of using his enemy’s weakness against them with no effort.  On top of everything, his Illusion Demon Fist can easily break his opponent’s mind and gift him a victory without Ikki even moving an inch. It doesn’t work on everyone, of course, but it can be lethal in way more ways than one can imagine. He has a cosmo that’s powerful enough, once he awakened the Seventh Sense, to defeat Shaka in combat. Hell, Shaka was scared of him at that point. He legitimately broke Shaka’s technique. He told him “now you don’t have your senses anymore” and Ikki just went “jokes on you, I don’t care”. 

But! Ikki has his weak points. No one is perfect after all. Not even Shun, and he is at the top of this list.  His Illusion Demon Fist can be used against him. We saw this particular case in action. When this happens, not even Ikki himself can completely break the illusion before falling prey to it. And, as much as his regenerative ability is useful, I can see why it could be a problem. This is more of my analysis for it, but I don’t think dying and coming back to life again and again doesn’t do a number on Ikki’s mental health. 

While Ikki is perfectly capable of dealing both physical damage and psychic damage, I don’t think he should be elevated to strongest Bronze Saint ever. Unlike his brother, whose cosmo can expand infinitely (even if at the cost of his life), Ikki has his limits. 

 3. Dragon Shiryu

The main reason I don’t see him and Hyoga as equals (I used to, not anymore) it’s the fact that I realized Shiryu can make you explode into space with ease. And the fact that, physically, he’s stronger than Hyoga. 

Let’s be objective here. Shiryu is one of the very few Saints that are capable to unleash their full potential without wearing a Cloth. This is a huge advantage he has in battle because, if an enemy tries to strip his armor off, Shiryu can still fight. In fact, he not only can still fight, but he can fight with even more power on his side. He is more vulnerable, but without his Cloth Shiryu remains absolutely lethal and should not be underestimated. This, paired with his intelligence and fast thinking skills, makes an excellent fighter in almost any situation.

Let’s also not forget how he was able to learn Dohko’s technique, the Rozan Hyaku Ryū Ha, while being blind. He was showed that technique only once, and he couldn’t even witness it, but he was able to learn it and use it perfectly.

He has an incredible determination and this, alongside his cosmo and physical strength, helps him fight without giving up. Shiryu managed to defeat a Silver Saint that was basically impossible to defeat by enduring the psychological weight of blinding himself, more that the physical pain associated with such an act. Don’t forget this. He defeated a Silver Saint while being blind and in horrific pain. He did the same against Krishna. In this case, we’re talking about a Marina General. A warrior as strong as a Gold Saint. Shiryu not only managed to master Excalibur while fighting against him, but got rid of Krishna while enduring the pain of being blinded – again – by a technique that was definitely more painful than it looked.

And can we talk about Deathmask? Because Shiryu was powerful enough to make a Gold Cloth finally take the decision of yeeting away from Deathmask’s unworthy body. His anger terrified a Gold Saint, and he awakened his Seventh Sense so hard that he regained his vision. He was helped with that, yeah, but can we recognize how powerful Shiryu was during that particular scene? To me, that thing was more impressive than what he did against Shura. It was raw power fueled by anger, a power he could unleash without effort. A power he can survive, opposite to the Rozan Kō Ryū Ha.

Obviously, being able to just shoot yourself in space while bringing someone else with you is equally impressive, but Shiryu has enough raw power in him cosmo to destroy a Gold Saint without having to sacrifice himself. If this is not a proof of his power, I don’t know what would be.

The honorable mention of him being able to don the Libra Gold Cloth at a very early stage has to be said.

He has, however, a significant weakness. A weak point, really. Even though he’s able to fight in any condition, with and without his Cloth, Shiryu has an unfortunate weakness that can be lethal to him with little to no effort. Obviously, I’m talking about his literal weak point, the claw of the dragon. His heart. A simple blow there could kill him almost instantly. Just a punch, really, and he kicks the bucket. Unless, of course, he has the extreme luck of being punched there by someone who’s not his enemy and can bring him back to life with a similar hit. Which, for extremely obvious reasons, is not likely to happen during a real battle. His Cloth provides him enough protection to fight without worrying about it, but as we know Shiryu mostly fights while not wearing it. And, even if he’s careful in hiding his weak point, it’s not that difficult to hit him there at any point, all the enemy needs is a minor distraction.

 4. Cygnus Hyoga

Here we have a man that, canonically speaking, surpassed his own master. A Gold Saint, to be precise. Is a matter of fact that Hyoga is powerful, this is not something you can glide on. This man mastered the absolute zero by using a technique he never used before, while being presumably as weak as he could be and in agonizing pain, seeing the fight he just had.

Impressive, to say the least.

What makes me put Hyoga after Shiryu, besides what I already told you above, is the same weakness Camus always brings up when confronting him. The same weakness Isaac brought up when confronting him. Something that makes Hyoga reckless and way too emotional during a fight. Despite this being a positive trait, because caring about family and loved ones is not something negative, it’s still a problem that presented itself in Hyoga’s case. Being too emotional is dangerous, and we saw this danger in action when Hyoga ended up being frozen by Camus because he couldn’t fight with a lucid state of mind. Opposite to Shiryu, who used his emotions to actually be more efficient, Hyoga couldn’t control them and ultimately lost.

This particular thing, even if not directly linked to his cosmo or to his physical strength, is a variable that should not be ignored.

 Of course, Hyoga became more and more powerful, but we only got to see his true power when he finally left behind all his emotions. Well, the ones that were limiting him, at least. 

And this gave us the Saint that, with ease, reached the level of his master and then surpassed it.

Hyoga is able to use his cosmo with efficiency, and can withstand the psychological weight of having to fight his loved ones over and over. This, as awful as it sounds, is useful in battle and gave him an incredible victory over Isaac. And let’s not forget, he could wear the Aquarius Gold Cloth and endure its power. Much like Shiryu and Seiya, Hyoga had no problem wearing that and using it to fight. His cosmo was powerful enough for him to be comfortable with it.

He also had enough power to face a Judge without too many repercussions. Sure, he got beaten up, but how many Bronze Saints can say to have fought a Judge of the Underworld, have slowed him down, and have survived to tell the tale?

At the end of the day, Hyoga got rid of most of his weakness. He still cares about his loved ones, but it’s not as much of a hindrance as it was before. But, and this is important, he still fails sometimes because of it. The best example is him falling for Kaysa’s trick, despite Hyoga fully knowing Camus was dead. His loving personality can get in the way, and it’s something more dangerous than having a physical weak point, because the mind can be manipulated easily in this world. Just look at how difficult was for him, in one of the movies, when he had to confront the illusion of his mother. He succeeded, but still almost failed.

Hyoga is powerful, but had an easily influenceable mind.

  5. Pegasus Seiya

(Since I already answered for him, I’ll copy-paste the answer here, so I won’t force you to click on a link to a different post if you haven’t seen that post yet. Same image and everything)

Seiya is… not as powerful as his protagonist status wants us to believe. I’m not doubting his abilities, because he is a Saint after all and he is skilled, but he’s by far the weakest as far as cosmo and physical strength go.  Most of his exploits are made because of his “immense determination” and “good heart”. It’s almost never a believable (believable in Saint Seiya) reason that leads him to victory.  He’s not necessarily weak, because he’s not, but he’s the least powerful of all the main Bronze Saints. Obviously he’s better than the secondary ones, because plot and everything, but he’s not on the same level as his companions.  Most of his victories were attained because he had help, either from Athena or from his fellow Bronzes.  Like I said before, Seiya couldn’t face Saga on his own. He needed the help of four other Saints in order to be on his level. I will be fair, and say that he was able to endure a lot on his own, but what he by himself still wasn’t enough to win.  

He had his fair share of deserved victories, of course, but some of those were so heavily helped by other people’s intervention it doesn’t even feel like Seiya actually did something on his own.  I’m not counting in this the fights he won fair and square, like the one against Aldebaran (sure, he had his annoying moment of “let’s daydream”, but he did win by himself), or the one against Thor. Hell, I’m perfectly okay with him winning against Thanatos.  But there’s countless other moments in which he needed someone’s help or something to his advantage.  For example, the first fight against Shiryu: Seiya won because he was able to spot and hit Shiryu’s weak spot, but he was being devastated before that. Even after tricking Shiryu in shattering his own shield (brilliant move, Marin taught him well), Seiya didn’t have the upper hand.  Against Ikki, Seiya needed the help from all his companions to actually defeat him.  When he reached the stairs leading to the Pope’s chamber, Seiya got easily overwhelmed by Aphrodite’s roses, while Marin (who gave him her mask) didn’t suffer as much from that poison. Against Saga, Seiya was able to use his protagonist bullshit to win because “a Saint fight with his heart!”, but when being faced with the real fight he needed some help. I’m not saying Seiya didn’t have the potential to resist Saga’s technique, like Ikki did when facing Shaka, but it was used in such a way it didn’t look like something coming from his own strength. 

This happens way more in the series, from classic to Hades, and in the movies as well. Seiya is celebrated as this powerful Saint capable of defeating even the gods, but in reality he mostly relied on someone else’s help to achieve victory. 

Physically, it’s painfully obvious that he’s not strong. He is as strong as a normal Saint would be, but not more than the average warrior. He easily prevails only on opponents that are visibly weaker than him, like Cassios (who didn’t have the slightest trace of cosmo), and has a hard time against opponents that are on his level.  It also took a long time for him to understand how to fight Aiolia, but he only managed a couple good hits before being overwhelmed again. He has it even worse in the CGI movie, where Aiolia literally brushes off his attacks like they’re nothing. 

Some might argue that his cosmo his not that weak, because he’s able to wear not only a Gold Cloth, but a Divine Cloth as well. And I say to you: I’m not saying he’s that weak. What I’m saying is: Seiya has potential, but not as much as we’re led to believe.  Seiya heavily relies on the Gold Cloth when he wears it, instead of relying more on his own cosmo. He does the same with the Divine Cloth. 

Compared to his companions, Seiya is relatively weak. Where Hyoga managed to become more powerful than his own teacher (a Gold Saint) and learned both of his techniques, Seiya relied on the Cloth itself to help him with his cosmo. Where Shiryu is able to fight effortlessly without wearing his Cloth, Seiya seems to be unable to do anything if he’s not wearing it. Where Ikki seems to have mastered his cosmo, Seiya still doesn’t know how to fully use it.

He always needs protection, he needs Athena to use her cosmo for him or to reassure him, he always ends up being the only one last standing because other people put their lives on the line for him.  The Hades arc is what described him best: a kid that doesn’t know how to face people bigger than him. Even the fight against Valentine wasn’t his own victory, because Athena helped him from afar. It’s so easy to defeat him, like we saw when Rhadamanthys effortlessly got rid of Seiya. Which, in retrospect, completely erased what Seiya managed to do when fighting him for the first time. 

I’m aware I’m known for my… well, not hate but strong dislike for Seiya. I won’t blame you if you think I put him so low because I’m biased.  But this is my opinion for that, and I’m keeping it. 

#saint seiya #i cavalieri dello zodiaco #los caballeros del zodiaco #os cavaleiros do zodiaco #knights of the zodiac #bronze saints #andromeda shun #phoenix ikki #dragon shiryu #cygnus hyoga #pegasus seiya

[mocoat]

Ok, first actual post so if anything’s wrong or weird just tell me.

So this is my oc, Ellina Gold-Claw in a thing I’m writing. I’ve been writing random stuff in a google doc to try and keep to her character and I thought it be interesting to post.

Tiny Bosmer, itty bitty baby that will rip your tongue out and feed it to you if you ask if she knows any recipes for people.

She’s not that short tho, about 5 3’. Tall for a Bosmer. Gets it from her literal 7 foot tall Atmoran descent father.

Has bright blue eyes that turn gold when using the Thu’um.

Mums a Bosmer and dads a Nord. Both live in the Imperial city, mom is the head of the Penitus Oculatus and dad is the Archmage of the Arcane University. Writes them letters and maybe she’ll visit on Odah. Dads a softy, moms the badass.

Her dad, Eris Gold-Claw II, is 7 foot 1’ and hella intimidating. Towers over the tallest Altmer (6ft 5’- 6 ft 8 is my kinda canon for them.) and is best friends with Mead. He is a Master in Conjuration, Illusion, and Alteration. Gave Ellina her blue eyes (Martin Septims blue eyes) and her curly hair. His hair is curly, half braided back in a Nord ish style and dirty blond. Doesn’t carry a weapon but when fighting will conjure a daedric sword. Wears his dark blue Archmage robes with the little gold thing at his neck

Her mother, Lilith Gold-Claw, is 5 feet of pure muscle. Is fucken ripped from carrying a ebony bow a head taller than her. Wears ebony chainmail that has a plethora of enchantments to make it lighter and stronger. Literally makes arrows turn the other way when coming at her. Has bright red hair that is kept at shoulder level and is usually tied up. She is a woman of few words and is eternally patient, until she isn’t. If you cross this Bosmer you’re getting your throat ripped out. She quite literally makes people tremble with a look, the rest of the Penitus Oculatus have learned to fear her and also love her. Is very fair but loyal, will beat anyone who calls her husband a dumb Nord who only got his job because of his family name.

The Gold-Claws date back to the Nerevarine. Eresin Gold-Claw. He had a wife and 16 year old daughter, Willow Gold-Claw, the Hero of Kvatch. He was arrested for a bar fight and thrown in prison. Just like Willow would 7 years later. Ever since then the Gold-Claws have been close with the Empire and when Martin Septim died and left Willow alone and pregnant they became even closer. They helped the Meads rise to power and told them their secret. Titus knows who they are and always keeps it in mind that if they wanted to they could have his place as Emperor.

Their family’s are close as a result. Ellina basically grew up in the Imperial Palace, having every guard, maid, cook, prince wrapped around her little finger.

Has wild gold hair, big poofy curls that reach her mid back when dry and go past her butt when wet. Will only put it up when she’s relaxed enough around you. (Kinda backwards but I don’t care.)

Wears a green cloak flecked with gold, reaches the floor when she wears it. Wears Neloths robes, no armor plates. Later on she trades her green cloak for a red and gold one, matching Neloths colors when she goes to the Imperial city for a party

Likes dresses but only when she can. They’re a bit impractical for her line of work. Usually wears her cloak over dragonscale armor. Pretty badass

That’s when she’s traveling, when she’s just sitting around Lakeview she’s just in a shirt and leather pants or a plain dress.

Fucken loves Neloth’s robe that he lent her, and will never take them off now. They’re soft and have P O C K E T S. Yaaas

Once she spends some time around Neloth she starts to fall for him. She liked him from the start, she likes his no shit attitude and his unforgiving bluntness. After she sees him in the midst of a horrible nightmare about his mother using a cruel spell on him and after he wakes he curls up in her arms to cry. She's touched by him letting her comfort her. When he called her dear she just fucken melts. Sure he may be half asleep that first time but who cares.

When he kisses her for the firsts time she’s completely smitten and doesn’t bother trying to deny it to herself.

Also has piercings on her ears, two on the tip of her right ear and just the regulars ones on the other.

Can’t use a bow to save her life, uses Dawnbreaker and she usually has a dragon bone dagger in a sheathe on her lower back.

Used mostly alteration and illusion magic, is decent at healing and can throw a fireball if needed. Prefers her sword. Hates it when people comment on her not using a bow, Windhelm was particularly bad until she threw a guy across the city.

Is a stupidly brilliant artist, draws beautifully but rarely does it. If she finds the time to draw you, you’re special. Neloth keeps her drawing of him on his desk or in his pocket, specially enchanted to not rip or tear.

Likes to sit on Neloths desk and draw him. His expressions are always the best.

Also likes to sit in stupid places. will always choose a table over a chair, had scaled the tower and sat up there when Neloth needed space. Tops of bookshelves until Neloth finds her. Stuff like that

Is always humming, singing, tapping her fingers or feet. Always has a song going through her head.

Odahviing is her best friend, and so are the Companions. (Her and Farkas are close but not romantically.)

Can sing like an angel but can also destroy a tavern if she gets too into it so she doesn’t much.

Loved to hoard books. Until she goes to Moras place

Sucks ass at alchemy but tries her best, Neloth has (or will) banned her from using his alchemy table due to many explosions.

She specializes in Alteration and Illusion magic. Is decent with healing and knows like two fire spells. Hates shock magic, like fucken hates it. Can’t stand to see someone use it

Has three claw marks on her back from Alduin. They travel from the right to the left down her back. She almost died fighting him and if it wasn’t for the Greybeards she would be.

Also was tortured by the Thalmor when she was younger, 10 to be exact, has a lightning shaped scar down her right side that reaches her neck. Can be seen in regular clothing and armor.

Has horrible nightmares, has broken windows in her house in Falkreath from screaming. All of Alduin killing her family, the Companions, or the Greybeards. Neloth makes an entrance later on

Can change her appearance at will, takes concentration though and only lasts a few hours at most.

Hates the Blades with a seething passion, will never kill Paarthurnax. Ever. He’s amazing and he talks nice.

Didn’t take a side in the civil war, thinks Ulfric is hot but a dick. Hates him slightly less than Tullius. Rikke’s fucken funny tho. Hadvar is the best, so sweet. The way he says burns runs through my head constantly.

Is hella allergic to apples and will die if she eats them.

Also her sneezes will send her flying backwards and anything in front of her goes flying as well.

Loves Dunmer food and drink. Sujamma mostly. Flin is alright. Loves canis root tea as well. Is the only person who Neloth knows who actually likes the taste besides him.

True to Skyrim fashion, she loves cheese. Hoards cheese, will kill a room of druager for cheese.

Loves picking on the Thalmor, doesn’t kill them if she doesn’t have to, just likes to slip a Talos amulet into one’s pocket and watch the chaos.

Never calls Neloth anything but his name or when their alone “Dii brit onik fahliil.” Which means, “My beautiful wise elf.” Always makes sure to complement his mind and body.

[that-banana-headed-bovine]

Knight Rider 2000

WARNING

This post contains spoilers for Knight Rider 2000, the 1991 film which attempts to expand on the canonical universe of Knight Rider (1982-1986).  Key word, attempts.  I know that this film came out almost 30 years ago at this point, but I also know that this fandom grows a little bit every day, and there will ALWAYS be people who haven’t seen every episode (myself included), let alone every movie!  I happened to catch it on Charge! for Hoff's birthday (yes I'm hella late posting this LOL) with my good friend @trust-doesnt-oxidize​, and boy let me tell you, it was… Something.

From here on out, I’m not holding back from sharing my impression of the film based on specific details from it, so if you want a spoiler-free viewing, go watch it and come back!!  Or… don’t, it’s kind of awful.  I can only think of one thing in canon that it may spoil, and even that appears in early Season 2 and is fairly minor, so if you are curious about it, I HIGHLY recommend watching it BEFORE reading this.  The scenes with the most impact are touching because they come as a surprise, so even if you know the general plot of the film, I would recommend watching it first.

Also this is really rambley because I have a lot of emotions about this series and, by extension, this movie.  I really don’t blame you if you click away here, but if you DO read it all the way through, I would love to hear anything you would like to add, agree or disagree!

OKAY!  Knight Rider 2000 is a movie that exists!  And I hate it!

The film sets up an interesting argument between two groups of people whose names I don’t remember because they were boring (except for Devon, I know his name at this point).  In this interpretation of the “future,” gun control has been implemented to,,, some extent, I can’t entirely tell if there have been some policies implemented across the country or if it is all localized in this one city that even the Wikipedia page for this movie doesn’t bother to mention.  And no, this city is NOT in California for once!  Usually I would be happy to see a change of setting, but considering that everything in this film felt so foreign to the Knight Rider that we know, it would have been nice to at least have a familiar setting.  Anyway, gun control stuff.  The debate between whether these gun control policies are ethical or not is very interesting.  Innocent people are dying because the wrong people have guns and the police are rendered useless when they themselves don’t have access to weapons.  This argument happens to support my perspective on the issue, so I appreciated how it took a look at that side WITHOUT it sounding like we are crazy murderer people, but I digress.  It makes sense that the ban happened in the first place, because much like how the main conflict in Pixar’s latest film Incredibles 2 revolves around society’s over-reliance on superheroes, I could see Knight Rider’s society becoming dependent on technology to save them.  It can be easy to seem like the most advanced tech in that society is present only in KITT and KIFT, and to SOME extent that is true.  However, Shawn does say that it is relatively common in this society for people to have memory chips in their brain.  That counts for something.  And the police DO have a defense mechanism according to the Wikipedia page for this movie, it’s just nonlethal.

So as you can see, I am very interested in the conflict this world sets up.  I sure hope they expand on these conflicting ideologies throughout the film, giving us a clearer idea of why the bans were set in place AND giving us insight into what exactly has caused some revolt against it.  That subject is seemingly timeless, and with how decently the introduction tackled it, I have some confidence that this film could pull it off in a tasteful way.  Wouldn’t that be amazing?   It’s some of the most serious subject matter Knight Rider has ever tackled.  It’s so interesting!

Yeah they pretty much abandon that plot in place of a very, very bad copy of the original show’s “Hearts of Stone” (season 1, episode 14).  Illegal guns exist and are bad, but we don’t really know why.  I may know a little better if I had been listening closer, but I was trying to not get so bored that I missed Kitt’s parts!

At some point during this sequence, we are introduced to Shawn, a happy police officer who is happy to have a family on a happy birthday.  And then she gets shot!  Due to head force trauma rendering her unconscious, she’s sent to the hospital.  She goes in for a risky operation that miraculously saves her life against all odds.

Then, Michael wakes up with Garthe Knight’s face and hears a great story about how one man CAN make a difference!… I mean what?  

Jokes aside, it’s kind of amazing how much this very Michael-esque sequence comes across very differently.  It’s almost the perfect example of why I don’t like this movie.  The surgery is weirdly realistic for a Knight Rider entity.  There’s blood and screens and surgeons and a sterile white room for operations.  Michael woke up in a Medieval castle with one doctor and two random people he’d never met at his side.  Shawn’s situation clearly makes more sense, but is it half as fun and whimsical?  No, no it’s not.  This whole film comes across as depressing to me, and it’s only worsened by what’s to come.  Apparently, she had KITT’s CPU/Microprocessor/something sciencey implanted into her brain.  That’s especially strange since all that I saw was a yellow liquid being injected directly into her skull!  That’s a lovely image, and definitely gave me the idea that there was a full computer chip going in there???  (It may have actually been explained more clearly, and I just looked away because eek weirdly bloody operation scene)  This caused her personality to do a full 180.  So, Shawn is going to be fun, snarky, and full of personality like KITT is because they share memories now!  Right?  Right???

I think they tried to do that, but it came across flat.  So flat.  She speaks in a purposefully monotone, robotic voice and delivers downright mean comments that leave Michael and KITT scratching their heads.  She seems to lack basic empathy until her own memories start flooding back, and at that point, the emotions she show seem so foreign to the character we see that it’s not remotely believable.  You want me to believe that this robotic woman with -10 personality points started nearly crying after one string of memories, albeit a very traumatic one, entered her mind?  This would have been believable if she was entirely changed afterwards, coming across as far more human, but that was only the case sometimes.  It also would have been believable if the film had the same energy that the original Knight Rider show does, where suspending one’s disbelief is necessary to make it past the opening credits.  However, this movie tries to be so grounded that the kind of dramatic beats that would work in the original seem forced here.

Shawn is not the only character who I take issue with, though.  Let’s start with the most potentially problematic change from the usual canon in the entire film: KITT’s personality.  I have very mixed feelings on how he is portrayed.  If you’ve seen as much as a spattering of quotes from this movie, you probably could sense that KITT was… off.  When KITT first comes on screen, he slams Michael with a wave of insults, and none of them come off as their normal joking around.  However, I don’t necessarily have a problem with that because he has the proper motivation to be very, very upset.  He is sitting on a desk as a heap of loosely connected parts that have just enough power to make the signature red scanner whir and make an oddly terrifying red light eyeball thing (Hal???) move.  The first thing he hears is Devon nonchalantly saying something along the lines of, “I’m afraid he was recycled” to explain why KITT has been deactivated for OVER A DECADE and is not currently in anything that moves (my Charge! stream thing lagged at this point but @trust-doesnt-oxidize​ has since told me that Devon DID appear upset about KITT's being sold, but KITT likely wouldn't have heard that and what Devon said seemed to be moreso directed at HOW the chip was sold and not the fact that it was sold in the first place).  KITT is justifiably mad, and if they had kept KITT’s actions in character while his emotions said otherwise, I would have no problem with it at all.

However, once KITT’s CPU is somehow implanted into Michael’s Chevrolet, KITT does not act in character.  Shawn drives, not Michael, so it stands to reason that he would not necessarily listen to her.  She stole his CPU, his life for over a decade.  KITT does tend to listen to human companions, regardless of whether he is programmed to or not, but I can see where this would be an exception.  However, Michael soon intercedes and essentially tells him to cut it out.  Based on everything that the original Knight Rider told us, KITT no longer has a choice of whether to listen or not.  Michael is ultimately the one who calls the shots because of KITT’s very programming.  And yet, in this scene, KITT doesn’t listen to Michael and apparently gets so angry that he downright stops functioning.  Because that happens all the time in the original series!

And if you’re wondering where I got the conclusion that KITT frustrated his circuits to the point where they could no longer work, he said that.  KITT.  Admitted to having feelings.  In fact, he did not just admit to being angry in the moment.  He told Michael that, while it may seem like he is an emotionless robot, he does have a “feelings chip.”  A FEELINGS CHIP-

I am for recognizing KITT’s obvious emotions as much as the next guy.  I think they are often overlooked when discussing his character.  While I don’t think that real artificial intelligence will ever reach the level of human consciousness, the entire energy of Knight Rider comes from playing with this concept by portraying an AI character who clearly emotes interacting with a human who doesn’t seem to know that.  But the thing that makes this show feel so sincere is that neither character plays too heavily into that trope.  While not always knowing how much KITT feels and by extension hurting those feelings alarmingly often, Michael recognizes it enough to work in concert with KITT, apologize for his more major flubs, and consider KITT a friend.  And KITT subverts the trope by never recognizing that he has feelings to begin with.  He will say that he cannot feel sadness but, in the next breath, say that something upset him.  He will say he cannot hold a grudge only to immediately rattle off a string of insults directed at the person he clearly has a grudge on.  The show is magic in how these two characters display a subtle chemistry that always has room to grow because both characters are slowly coming to see each other for who they truly are and supporting one another along the way.  From what I can tell, the original show never fully concludes that arc, and it may even start regressing after Season 1.  However, we can feasibly see how Michael could slowly come to understand that KITT really does feel things just as much as he does.  And we can imagine the relief KITT would feel knowing that Michael was never bothered by that possibility.

So, you can see where I have a big problem with KITT spelling it out so plainly.  The audience gets full confirmation about what has been displayed to us through nuanced hints throughout the series, which sounds a lot more satisfying than it really ends up being in this film.  But worse than an underwhelming conclusion to a thrilling story, Michael knows it plain as day.  There is very little buildup to KITT admitting this.  He barely even sounds moved.  Instead, in this movie, the “feelings chip” is a fact of life that does not need to be covered up in the slightest.  Michael himself doesn’t really… react.  He just kind of nods along, as if he’s saying, “Huh, makes sense, alright.”  After everything these two have been through, if there really was such a simple explanation for why KITT is the way he is… why arguments went south, why the mere mention of a Chevrolet was enough to get a seemingly jealous response, why inconsequential things like music taste and gambling were subjects of debate, why KITT had always acted so exaggeratedly dismissive when topics of emotional significance struck a chord, why every little sarcastic banter had a hint of happiness until it didn’t… don’t you think Michael would do something?  Whether that something would be a gentle, “I always knew that, pal”; a shocked, “Why didn’tchya tell me sooner?!”; or even a sarcastic, disbelieving, “Yeah, right” is up to interpretation.  But there would be something.

And yet, even that concept is flawed.  We learn a lot from KARR’s inclusion in the original series, and what I take away from it boils down to a simple sentiment.  FLAG never meant for their AIs to be human.  I do realize that directly contradicts what Devon says within this film, but I see that as another way for the film to steer the plot in this direction, not as a tie in to the original.  When Wilton says that one man CAN make a difference, he means that.  He isn’t considering that KITT is just as much a person as Michael.  He’s not seeing that, at the end of the day, teamwork is what makes the show work, even if Michael is the glue that holds it together.  So, I think that to say that there is a “feelings chip” is to disregard the entire point of the original, that in this world life finds a way of inserting itself and that KITT’s (and KARR’s for that matter) humanity is an anomaly, not the rule.  At the end of the day, KITT’s humanity can’t be explained away with science.  And really, I don’t think it should be explained away at all.  The show has had an amazing trend of showing us how KITT feels, in all its unorthodox glory, alongside private moments that had me sobbing like a baby.  The movie should just be like a longer, more complex episode of Knight Rider… Although I cannot pinpoint exactly how it should be done in the context of this film, I know there are ways that Michael could have been shown that KITT feels rather than being told.

One last complaint, albeit a more minor one, is the idea that he has to listen to what Shawn says over Michael's authority.  I have spent a decent amount of time thinking about this one point, which has caused a lot of the delay in posting this.  There's multiple reasons why this flies right in the face of what is canon in the original series.  Perhaps the most obvious of these problems is the fact that, in the original pilot episode, it's made very clear that KITT can't assume control of the Knight 2000 without Michael's express permission unless Michael is unconcious.  Devon makes it quite clear in this episode that KITT is programmed specifically to listen to Michael, not just anyone who happens to be piloting the vehicle at the time.  In case there was any doubt about this, KITT ejects two people who are attempting to steal him later in the episode (well, ok, later in the two-parter, I don't know if it was the same episode or not).  The show isn't SUPER strict about this in future episodes, but it does at least acknowledge Michael's authority in a few pivotal moments throughout Season 1 (I can't comment on episodes that I haven't seen yet, but I suspect that this pattern continues).  Of all the rules set up throughout the series, it actually seems to be the most loyal to this one.  One moment that stands out to me is in Trust Doesn't Rust when KITT attempts to stop Michael from causing a head-on collision with KARR, but Michael then overrides him and the climax unfolds.  If one of the most iconic moments in the series is caused by this one bit of programming, to throw it out in the film is to disrespect the basis of the original series.

Speaking of KARR, he provides yet another reason niglecting this detail is such a big problem.  From what we can tell, KARR isn't programmed to one specific driver (at least, not anymore[?]), and so he can override anyone in the pilot's seat.  This is something they seem to highlight in TDR as well, although not so plainly as the previous point.  KARR ends up ditching Tony to gain speed and get an upper hand in the chase with Michael and KITT (although a scene they deleted would have made this a mUCH MORE SENSIBLE ACTION THAT R E A L L Y ISN'T A BETRAYAL but y'know what this post isn't about that) whereas KITT has to listen to Michael even to his own detriment.  If this one feature is indeed one of the major things that separates KITT from KARR, the idea that Shawn can override all of that cheapens the original conflict between KITT and KARR.

...Well okay, let's be real, KARR was never that compelling as an antagonist to begin with because he's a LOYAL SWEETIEPIE-- I'll stop.

And finally, we have the biggest, most bizarre reason that this is a problem:

If Shawn can override Michael's authority, that means KITT can override Michael's authority.

Why?  This would be the first time (outside of episodes where some sort of reprogramming or mind control was involved) in the series that KITT had not only listened to another human instead of Michael, but also listened to that person OVER Michael.  The only difference I can see between Shawn and quite literally anyone else in the show's history is that Shawn has KITT's chip implant thing.  If that's the reason her opinion has more credence than Michael's, then wouldn't that mean KITT's own opinion has that authority?  If that is the case, literally every example I've gone through in the last couple of paragraphs is not just challenged but rather negated entirely.

The most frustrating thing about this scene is that it simply didn't have to happen.  Michael could have gone along with KITT's plan, showing him (and us) that he does trust his former partner even after all these years.  Shawn could have convinced Michael to go along with it using her... feelings chip.  Blegh.  Or we could have had a stubborn Michael force this scene to be delayed, likely improving the pacing overall.  Maybe we could have even seen a frustrated and emotionally exhausted Shawn wait until Michael is not in the car and then plead KITT to give her the truth, no matter what Michael says.  We have seen KITT control his actions without Michael's input plenty of times, and we could have seen some more of his humanity show through if he could relate to Shawn's struggles... after all, he too has missing memories because she has his chip.  They're both going through a bit of an identity crisis.  I'm sure that he could find some workaround in his programming to help her if Michael wasn't there insisting that he does not take this course of action.

But even after all of that fussing over what has been done wrong with KITT, I can’t deny that he is the heart and soul of this film.  There was only one scene in this film that brought me near tears.  I got more of an emotional impact from this one clip than I have from a lot of movies that are undeniably much better.  Michael’s old-fashioned Chevrolet does not hold up in the year 2000, and it is clear that the usual car chase sequence won’t work as police vehicles quickly creep up on them.  I was personally very curious what they would do here.  I figured that KITT would find some way to outsmart the drivers of the police cars, maybe by ending up on an elevated mountain road that trips up the other drivers and causes them to waste time turning around and hopping on that same path.  Or, maybe, KITT would access a road that’s too narrow for the relatively bulky police cars.  However, it quickly becomes clear that this city is made up of wide roads on the ground.  As KITT veers off the road and tells Michael to trust him, the I found myself having to trust him.  This isn’t the way Knight Rider chases usually go, and with all these odds stacked against him, the only thing we can do is hold our breath.  The way this scene is staged to send us into this just as blind as Michael is, frankly, genius.  Water slowly creeps into the frame as a feeling of dread builds at the thought of what KITT might do.

Surely, we are led to think, he will knock into some boxes and turn right back around.  Right?  We’re reminded of the fact that this is not the Knight 2000, that there is no chance of this car floating.  That if KITT does what he really seems to be doing, there’s no chance… but he wouldn’t, would he?  This is the only action sequence in the film that had me at the edge of my seat, staring wide eyed at the screen.  And then, the turn that you want so badly to come doesn’t, and you have to wonder what’s about to happen.  What was KITT thinking?  Won’t Michael and Shawn drown?  And, most prominently in my mind, won’t KITT drown?

For a moment, this scene plays us into believing that, because magic FLAG science that is pretty par for the course, everything is fine.  KITT explains that they have an airtight cab and over 20 minutes of oxygen.  Everyone lets out a collective breath of relief.  We see it in Michael and Shawn, and I know I felt myself relax.

And then there’s a flicker in the screen, and that pit in the bottom of my stomach came right back.  Michael is confused, and KITT explains what we should have realized was inevitable.  This is KITT sacrificing himself.  He even goes as far as to let Shawn know that she can use any of his computer chips that she may need.  This comes off as strange at first, but it goes to show that KITT is, at his core, the same kind soul we always knew.  He acts angry because he feels betrayed, but given the choice, he will chose another person’s life over his own, always.  Even the microprocessor that he is most frustrated over, the thing that seems to drive a wedge between him and Shawn, is just how he is expressing his hurt.  Now, thinking it is the end, he offers it up freely, and Shawn doesn’t seem to know how to respond.  KITT is calm as he says his final goodbyes.  And this is the first place in the film that we get to hear the amazingly nuanced  voice acting that William Daniels is so great at.  KITT sounds collected and at peace with what is to come, but there are also subtle hints that he is at least a bit nervous, a bit sad.  “I know.  I guess this is goodbye.”  He doesn’t want to leave his friends, but he knows that he has to for them to be safe.  Even if the pacing of the film seems to actively try to undermine this moment, it stands out to me as an amazing scene, even if the reaction from Michael is underwhelming at best and the reaction from Shawn is… as much as can be expected from Shawn, but that’s not saying much.  As far as KITT knows in that moment, these are his last words: “Michael, take care of yourself.”  Down to the last moment, Michael is everything to him.

IjustwannamakeitclearquicklythatIthinktheirrelationshipisentirelyplatonicokthankyou

And I felt sad, big time sad.  The movie up until that point was unbelievably boring to me, and this wasn’t a turning point where the movie suddenly became great.  It was a moment so darn good that I almost don’t think the movie deserved for it to have as big of an impact as it did.  But that shows just how powerful this universe is, how wonderfully honest these characters are.  Even after being butchered practically beyond recognition, one scene in-character can still bring you to tears because you have connected with them so deeply throughout the TV series.

AND THEN DEVON DIED IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS :D

I don’t like Devon.

Devon was actually more tolerable in this movie than normal, and I can see where people who don’t hate him could be sad that he died  I just,,, he has hurt or talked down to KITT and KARR so many times that I actually could not sympathize.  What’s even more frustrating about that is that Devon’s death is the one that Michael got all sad over when KITT sacrificed his life for him and Devon got kidnapped randomly but okay go off movie you can’t ruin that scene for me.  I knew going in that Devon died, but I was expecting them to spend a lot more time setting it up and making it as dramatic as possible.  Nope, he just got a shot to the old air tanks I guess?  My view of it is nothing more than that it’s a thing that happened.

OH AND DEVON DID PULL ONE HEINOUS ACT.  He said that KIFT was better than KITT in every way other than that KITT has humanity.  SINCE WHEN HAS DEVON GIVEN ONE SINGULAR HOOT ABOUT THE AI’S BEING ALIVE???  TELL KARR THAT???  HECK, TELL DEACTIVATED KITT THAT YOU WERE JUST FINE SELLING OFF AT AUCTION THAT?!?!  Also also, KIFT DOES NOT C O M P A R E TO KITT.  We are coming back to KIFT in a moment, don’t you worry.  For now, I just.  Low blow, Devon, low blow.

Michael was fine too, he played a weirdly small part and that felt off but everything he said seemed pretty in character.  The most out of character parts were when he said nothing at all.  OH AND WHERE HE WAS REPLACING BONNIE but that’s besides the point, no Bonnie OR April… no Bonnie OR April… I’m fine…

…

It feels like this movie wants you to forget that Michael exists because Shawn is here she’s more interesting, right?  Right???

She’s really not.

So back to KIFT.  My favorite part of KIFT is that pronouncing KIFT in your head sounds funny.  It’s like “gift” but if the gift were actually an underwhelming villain of sorts that is overtaken in a garage, parked, by Michael either removing his microprocessor entirely or moving it to a Chevrolet.

I was surprised how not bad KIFT looked.  I had seen stills from the movie that looked really uninteresting compared to the regular designs, and while I still agree to some extent, it was a lot more epic than I would have thought.  Something about how the paint shines on it is captivating.  I was genuinely happy when KITT was moved to the snazzy red vehicle, although a big part of that could have been how disgusting mint green looks with red.  Seriously, including the red scanner on that bizarre seafoamy-bluey car (and yes, I do think it is a very pretty car by itself) was like when people say movies were “inspired” but in the opposite direction.  And the scanner looked weirdly small?  Was it just me?

Am I the only one who feels w e i r d just looking at this??

I think this is the most normal thing to be categorized as being in uncanny valley but there we go, I did it.  It’s not right.

Anyway, as neat as KIFT looks, it is no comparison to the classic Knight 2000 or even Season 3 KARR.  Red can be striking, but not when the classic scanner is also red.  No contrast!

KIFT is absurdly easy to forget, and I don’t think that the car’s design has anything to do with it.  KITT spends most of the movie piloting that car, and while it is not what we are used to, it doesn’t come across as super lame to me, either…or at least, not because of the design.  The biggest problem with KIFT is, I think, simply his voice.  His voice feels so out of place in the movie, and it’s so strange to me considering that Daniels’ voice is integrated just fine.  The recording sounds too crisp, too clean.  KITT’s voice always has a great deal of character, a very Earthy-sounding voice for an AI character.  I actually think that this incongruity is purposeful, and it’s a very clever concept.  We are supposed to recognize that KIFT isn’t human like KITT is.  KIFT sounds out of place in the real world among real people; he’s too neat around the edges.  It’s especially obvious when KITT and KIFT talk to each other.  This is also mirrored by how KITT occupies a well-loved Chevrolet that has little imperfections that make it feel real whereas KIFT is in this red… whatever it is that feels like it comes out of a sci-fi film.  This effect would have really worked if we had enough time with KIFT to understand his personality–or, more aptly, his lack of personality.  What makes this not work is the fact that we spend practically no time with KIFT.  We don’t get to hear what he feels he is programmed to do, we don’t get to hear him deliver the sort of lifeless lines that Shawn did that made her so unlikable, and we don’t even get to hear his voice more than 4-5 times.  Every time comes as a shock, taking us out of the moment of the film.  We could have gotten used to his crisp sound if he had spoken more, and we may have seen the actual plot significance of it.  Instead, it pulls you right out of the movie.

Oh yeah, and the only line(s?) that KIFT delivers to KITT are full-on taunting… that’s not very lifeless of you KIFT.

Alright, just one last thing to really hammer home a point from earlier and conclude this whole thing.  You know what I was saying about this movie lacking the whimsical nature of the TV show?  Well, the final chase puts the icing on this oddly sullen crab cake.

Yes, crab cake. 

Because the pinchy crab that is Shawn makes it quite painful to get this particular cake and icing doesn’t even belong on it anyway.

KITT is racing down the street in this bright red car that I just explained is thematically wrong for him to be driving tbh but whatever, he’s racing in it and comes up to a barricade of randomly stacked up cars.

Oh Yeah, we all know what is coming.

The music swells.  Michael looks at the upcoming barricade with furrowed eyebrows and quietly asks KITT what the heck they’re going to do now.

OH YEAH, we definitely know what is coming.

And at last, for the first time in the film…

KITT veers off to the right and they drive on water.  “It’s really sink or swim with you, isn’t it?” Michael asks, pretending that’s funny as if I am not still emotionally raw from that scene that happened an hour ago.

Apparently, KIFT had that one obscure feature from “Return to Cadiz,” the Season 2 episode where April forces KITT to follow KARR into the ocean on the hopes that waterproof wheels might work maybe, directly ignoring his many attempts to get out of it.  Yay.  I love references to That Episode.  That Episode which baited me with an opening that looked like KARR could have been discovered underwater only to show me that not only was there no KARR, but KITT was going to be bullied into repeating what his brother did when he died.  Wholesome.  Lovely.  Fantastic.  And how did KITT know for sure that would work?  KITT clearly still has some technical hiccups in his own CPU from Michael tampering with it, that was an awful lot of confidence to place in a maybe.

AND MORE IMPORTANTLY…

THIS MOVIE DID NOT HAVE A TURBO BOOST

A TURBO BOOST

I cannot believe that a movie based around Knight Rider did not have a turbo boost (or for that matter, the THEMESONG???).  Like I am honestly still surprised by it.  Almost every episode of the original show had at least one turbo boost, and there is a reason.  The idea of a talking car jumping in midair, sometimes with Michael “WOO!”-ing like a girl, is so fantastically fun that nobody even tries to question how impossible it is.  I think we all know how impossible it is, and that doesn’t matter, it is yet another thing that embodies the heart of this show.

And… not even one.

…

So yeah, that just happened.  I think this is technically a small novel.  Wow.

  I know that I'm still missing a lot... I have a lot of thoughts about this movie, and if you for some reason want more please ask!  I would also love to hear your thoughts on this!  Do you agree with my analysis?  Do you disagree entirely?  Did you notice something that I failed to mention entirely?  Pleasepleaseplease send ideas, I would love to hear them!  Also know that, no matter how much I was disappointed by the movie itself, I am fully open to hearing your ideas about how to improve or expand upon it.  I truly believe that this film introduced some great concepts, and I would absolutely adore seeing them reworked in a way that's more true to the original.  Thank you for reading! :D

#knight rider #knight rider 2000 #kitt #knight industries two thousand #k.i.t.t. #Michael #Michael Knight #michael knight rider #movie review #bad movie review #bad movie #knight rider 2000 movie review #knight industries four thousand #kift #k.i.f.t. #shawn #shawn mccormick #spoilers #movie spoilers #movie recap #film review #rant #movie rant #oh yeah one more thing #why is Shawn named after spices #mccormick

[dr-who-said-lgbtq-rights]

i, a fan of superwholock, dissect and give my opinion on the individual shows

idk i thought this would be fun and i currently have 4-5 hours to kill soooo

let’s start with

doctor who

(only new who. i have not seen the older stuff :( )

k. so. i have been a fan of this since i was pretty young. honestly i think i was a little too young to be watching it when my mom first showed me it but that’s beside the point. basically: i really like dr who

this is probably the best show out of superwholock, both in my opinion and in general. however... i am going to be nitpicky bc why not

1. the canon. 

(yes the example is abt a dr who episode)

in short, the canon is comprised of a) retcons and b) contradictions. im not an avid follower of canon with any media but good god nobody can keep up with dr who canon

(i am blaming moffat bc i hate him and i think a lot of it is his fault anyway)

2. representation

honestly, the representation isn’t bad. however, i would describe it less as “good” and more as “a good starting point.”

for example, there is quite a bit of queer rep, POC rep, and a lot of characters are women. however, while this is nice, the show could still use a lot more rep, and the rep it has currently should probably be improved upon (for example: jack harkness is NOT straight, but he falls under the “multi-spec person wants to screw everyone” stereotype (i have not seen torchwood so this may be amended in that i just needed an example off the top of my head)).

3. story

some people yearn for romance. i yearn for the days when the doc would take their companion to some party, flirt with a tree, the companion almost dies while britney spears is playing in the background, etc. etc.

basically, the story starts out nice. just a bunch of goofing off, maybe a “big deal” thing here and there. life was fun.

then, the story changes. (this happened specifically from eleven onward, so yeah you can bet your ass im blaming moffat ‘cuz it’s his fault) things gradually became less fun. conspiracies ran amok; just when you thought it was over, turns out there’s an even bigger part of this plan that what you just defeated. the doc actually started caring about the timeline (what happened to time being wibbly wobbly?) sure, there are still fun episodes where the doc and the companion(s) go out for funsies but it’s just not the same as it was. 

4. morals

morals are good. basically:

you can have a dark past but still have a bright future, and

be kind

bonus 5. cowardice

at least one of the doctors played by one of the male actors should have worn a dress. there were plenty of opportunities but noooooo there’s a gender binary or something (like,,, they’re an alien????? if gender on gallifrey is the same as gender on earth i am going to fly to britain and drop kick some writers)

OVERALL

needs work, but p good and enjoyable.

~~~

now it’s time for 

sherlock

just. um. ohhh boy. basically

but i am going to do my best

1. representation

eugh. representation was baaaad in this. like, i think the only POC in the entire show that had any significance were the Chinese gang members and that is like,,, incredibly poor rep. i think the innkeepers in thob were gay but that’s as far as queer rep goes. there were a few women, i would die for all of them, we need more women. also the “im a high functioning sociopath” line makes me cringe everytime

basically this show had shit representation

2. john

okee he’s a great character right??? the common sense of the operation right??? wrong

he cheated on mary??? and we don’t address it like,,, at all??? it made me so fucking mad. 

(again fuck you moffat and gatiss probably had something to do with it too so im mad at him as well)

3. sherlock

classic “let’s make him a bitch” mistake. needs the stick surgically removed from his ass

4. story

story’s actually not that bad. it’s not like, great or anything but i enjoy it

bonus 5. ending

i just want to address it. i think the ending was p good and yall tjlc-ers are just upset that they didn’t bang or anything. they’re literally living in the same [two-room] flat??? and they’re raising rosie???? TOGETHER???? like what more do you want

anyway sherlock’s ace soooo

OVERALL

eh. needs LOTS of work. i love mrs hudson tho, she’s beautiful

~~~

and finally

supernatural

ohohoh. boooyyyy.

(plz forgive me this is so shitty but i threw it together in like,,, a minute)

1. story

aight so the first five seasons? p good. not much to say there

the other ten? the skill level of the writing went wayyyyyy down but i still enjoyed it

2. representation

this show is notorious for bad rep and for good reason. kevin, our beloved prophet and the only recurring asian-american character? dead. charlie, so nerdy and fun and also a lesbian? dead. castiel, the angel who was totally gay? dead. basically: if you find yourself in spn and you are not a straight white man, etc etc, you are going to a) die or b) die but in a worse way

3. mythology/treatment of religions

okay so. a while back i had a wicca/witchcraft hyperfixation which was closely followed by a general pagan religions hyperfixation, so i know some stuff here and there abt religions.

and good golly does this show make me MAD

why is christianity the central and most powerful religion? (i know why, it’s a rhetorical question) why do you demonize the other religions?? (again it’s rhetorical)

one thing that really annoys me is when they say something is a “pagan god.” like,,, do you know how many gods that contains??? if you didn’t know, a religion is considered pagan if it isn’t under the abrahamic religions umbrella. what are the abrahamic religions, you ask? well, they are christianity, judaism, and islam. literally every other religion ever is a pagan religion. so, when they say “it’s a pagan god,” i cry.

back to demonizing... they literally made a greek muse eat someone. my greek mythology phase ended a long time ago and i didn’t really get into the muses but i am p sure they didn’t eat people. also the fact that it makes hoodoo look dark and stuff when it’s actually more abt peace and healing... i bet ten dollars it’s because hoodoo was created by enslaved african americans

there are so many examples of this show disrespecting religions... i just can’t

4. general notes

(for you himym fans: *saluting* general notes) (sorry i couldn’t resist)

-the filler episodes/episodes where random shit happened were the best

-the finale memes are *chef’s kiss*

-god there’s so much abt this show that i can’t even choose bc my brain is overloading

-am i glad amara wasn’t ganked at the end of s11? yes. am i happy about the dean/amara kiss? gods no

-john winchester 🤝 steven moffat: getting a spot on my “fuck you” list

OVERALL

there is just. so much improvement needed. however if there is an absolute shit show with likeable characters i tend to gravitate to it

~~~

and for funsies let’s talk abt superwholock as a whole

-honestly im a sucker for crossover fandoms. if you scroll far enough on my blog you may find my rotbtd fanart. 

-it’s honestly just a fun idea

-there’s a lot of ways you could make it happen and all of them are fun

-great opportunities for rarepairs so rare no crackshipper has thought of it

~~~

aight that’s it. thank you for reading! if you have any questions abt my opinions abt other aspects of the shows just ask, i like talking abt this

#dr-who-said... something #as a side note: if you wanna hear abt pagan religions just ask #i may not be fixated on it anymore but i still find them interesting #superwholock

[the-voltage-diaries]

Hi! I noticed you're another fellow Taki fanatic. Just out of curiosity, but why is taki your favorite?

Hey hey!

Let’s be real, Taki is my absolute favourite otome guy; at this point its facts. I love everything about him, from his smile, to his smirk, to his sexy self, to his handsomeness, to his blush, to his grin, to his boyishness, to how he is WHIPPED for MC, to his dynamic with others fellow characters, to how he has his fair share of shortcomings, to how he ain’t perfect at everything, to- you get it.

I can write an essay on this and I’m not even kidding you, so you’re in for a treat. It’s time to dig deeper into what exactly is it about Taki that makes me love him so freaking much.

But before we do that, a very special thanks to @awesomeallseeingeye for helping me out with this! You’re the absolute best.

Disclaimer: The following post contains spoilers from Taki’s season 3, Shun’s season 4 Part 1 and a few other stories from Kings of Paradise. Also, there are mentions of some nsfw 18+ stuff yes sexc Taki, so please read at your own discretion!

Now, without further ado, here’s the list under the cut~

Consent King Consent and consensual sex are two things that hold a lot of importance when it comes to getting intimate, and when I say “consent”, I do not mean dubious or implied consent. I mean a scenario where it is clearly spelt out that if the other party does NOT want to be a part of it, the first party won’t continue. Now, when it comes to Taki, it is downright admirable how Taki always seeks for MC’s permission before doing anything intimate. He makes it clear that he will not do anything more unless the MC wants it too, and he doesn’t shy away from declaring how he is even willing to wait (no matter how long it takes) for the MC to be comfortable enough to go ahead with the deed. I adore this quality so much, and the fact that there isn’t ONE scene, apart from his season 3 MS where one scene had dubious consent (which Taki felt TERRIBLE about, himself),  where it isn’t explicitly states how he seeks VERBAL consent speaks volumes about how principled this man is. Swoon

Total Adorkababy While Taki was a stoic, sexy, stiff, smirking CEO in Seasons 1 and 2, he makes a 180 following his Season 3, which is understandable considering how he basically bares his soul to the MC in that season. MC and Taki become very, VERY close on an emotional level post Season 3, and the change in Taki is such a sight to behold. He is much more in tune with how he feels, and is, as a result, a lot more expressive with them too. Which is adorable, because while a part of Taki has grown up into a 30-year-old successful and mature CEO, the OTHER part of him, which is still a teenage insecure li’l baby, is more prominent when it comes to his feelings towards his MC. He is a literal blushy baby who stubs his toe because he is so shaken up upon seeing his MC wear a sexy red lacy lingerie lmfao. He needs to be preserved. He is precious. He is adorable. He needs all the love in the world. I rest my case.

GOLD PoVs His internal thoughts are just what I said, G O L D. Going back to the part where I said opening up to the MC made him come more in terms with his emotions post the debt trauma than ever before, Taki becomes more expressive not only with MC on the outside, but with himself on the inside too. He allows a much more open, vulnerable and worried side of him to rear it’s head and as a result, we have a Taki who cannot contain himself and basically short circuits whenever his MC does something out of the ordinary or is just cute. Taki, while on the outside appears calm, collected, and sure of himself, is just the complete opposite on the inside. He overthinks in the most hilarious of ways, goes p a n i k when he sees his MC, and his internal thoughts are a complete new story. It’s so worth it lmfao, this babie I love him pls protecc him tysm.

Considerate Companion While Taki is an amazing human being and the most considerate man on the planet in his own main story, I’d like to stress how equally brilliant he is in OTHERS’ stories too. We know that MC is Taki’s ex, and that it’s pretty obvious he still loves her even in the routes of other characters from the game. But, despite that, he is the kind of guy who is willing to step on his own heart and crush his feelings so long as the MC is happy, even if she is with someone else. It breaks him - it really does, but he has no problem standing on the sidelines and smiling at MC and her beau, wishing her well. Here’s a snippet from Shun’s Season 4 Part 1, where Taki was the love rival. He wished to get back together with the MC, but once the MC told him she cannot go back to him, he simply accepted it and told her to go back to her man. Furthermore, he even APOLOGISED for putting her in that spot. Can we just give this man all the applause there is to give?

Actually Apologetic This man knows when an apology is due, and doesn’t shy away from acknowledging his faults, or his shortcomings, or the analyzing where he went wrong in order to get better. He wants to be the best possible man for his MC, and will do whatever it takes to get there. He makes promises and keeps them instead of sweeping things under the rug and just moving on. When MC teaches him the importance of communication and even fighting in a relationship, he learns it like an obedient student and makes sure he doesn’t repeat the same errors twice. Freakin’ love that about him. This man knows that apologising won’t make him smaller. THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT WE STAN.

Emotionally Vulnerable Another thing Taki doesn’t shy away from apart from apologising is being emotionally vulnerable, even to the point where he literally breaks down. Now, while other points were more generic about him, this is pretty specific. This happened in Season 3, and while it took a while for the MC and Taki to get so far down the road of character development, once the dam broke, it broke. I haven’t seen a lot of Voltage men become so emotionally open and vulnerable that they physically show it - shakey hands, tears, feeling the need to be in MC’s close proximity for physical support, et cetera. In his Season 3 when MC FINALLY gets through to him, this man breaks the fuck down. He shakes, he trembles, he almost cries. He lets his MC see him at his absolute lowest. That kind of trust, that kind of openness... gah, just makes me fall for him even more.

Ovaries Exploder Okay, enough of the gut and heart wrenching stuff. Let’s get down to the sexy stuff. Taki Kozaki is a sexy man, periodt. He knows how to be sexy, how to be suave, and how to be so seductive you could feel your ovaries explode. This point is solely here because I just HAD to share his orgasm face and his love for the bunny-wolf roleplay. Thank you for joining me on this amazing journey where we have no regrets because we get a hot Taki. Can I marry him already plez. Just like plez.

Annnd that successfully brings us to the end of this list. Kind of. Sort of. I mean, I still have over 500 things to share but I don’t know if tumblr can take any more of my rambling.

THAT SAID, thank you so much for sending in such a brilliant ask! I had so much fun answering this one haha. I totally did not almost read all of those stories again as I collected the screenshots jk I totally did. I’m guessing you like Taki too, yes? I’d love to hear your list of reasons why you adore this precious man yourself!

Once again, thank you! ❤️

#anon asks #ask zela #taki kozaki #my little crumbcake~ #kings of paradise #kop #kop taki #kings of paradise taki #he is such a brilliant work of art #absolutely gold #god I love him #like i LOVE him #do i need help? #maybe #like wow im whipped hahaha #just like he is for his MC #this boi is precious #plez preserve #tysm #i love him so much #and i love u too anon #for sending this ask #ur so precious #da absolute best #ty for existing #much love

[shorties-unite]

I Might Even be a Rockstar (HannahMontana!AU)

Part 1/?

Summary: Roman is a normal boy with a very normal life who also happens to be a teen pop sensation. Virgil is a normal boy who also happens to have a debilitating crush on a teen pop sensation. Stuff happens I guess 

“THANK YOU GUYS FOR COMING, YA’LL HAVE BEEN A GREAT AUDIENCE. GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!!” Princey gave an enthusiastic wave as the pyrotechnics let off there final sparks and confetti erupted from the cannons. Red and gold flecks of glitter raining down into the front section of the screaming crowd. He placed the microphone back in it’s place on the diamontie studded mic stand, before turning and exhaling. He loved this post show high. As he wondered his back to his dressing room he always felt lighter than air and his mind prickled comfortably with static. Someone from the crew handed him a towel and He smiled gratefully and tapped the sweat from his brow as he opened the door to his dressing room, promptly being engulfed into a hug. “You were amazing out there Ro!!” He relaxed after a moment into their arms and laughed softly. “Thanks Patton, that’s really sweet but these contacts are stinging my eyes so can you please let go?”. Patton laughed. “Fair enough,” he replied, as he moved away, allowing Roman to reach the makeup table on the other side of the dressing room, digging though the box of makeup and accessories searching for his contact case. Once found, he opened the container, and placed it on the table, already digging one of the nuisance lenses out of his eye. He glanced up into the mirror surrounded by flashbulbs. The reflection staring back at him had straight, fire engine red hair, perfectly styled into a quiff that took a lung damaging amount of hairspray to maintain. Gold glitter surrounded his eyes in a why which seemed haphazard but was in fact a very particular and intricate type of simple-yet-extravagant glam. Behind the glitter peered two eyes, one a piercing shade or emerald green and one muddy brown. Inconspicuous, boring, basic. Nothing special in the slightest. Swiftly, he removed the second contact, sweeping up their container and placing it neatly back inside the makeup case, which Patton had begun to carefully pack away, handing Roman a pair of oversized, red embezzled sunglasses from the depths of the case, which he promptly slipped over his face as someone knocked at the door. “Come in!” he called, trying to muster up as much pep as he could when in all honesty his eyes were burning, his head was itchy and he may as well have been asleep on his feet. Adieu, post stage high! Until next time. “It’s just us darlin, great show tonight,” came the reply as the door was pushed open to reveal a man with long red hair and a thick moustache along with another, younger man who would look strikingly similar to Princey himself, had most of his face not been obscured from view by tinted sunglasses and a large cap with the words SECURITY printed in bold lettering across the from. “You about ready to go?”. Princey nodded and crossed the room to meet them, adjusting the lopsided cyan wig on Patton’s head on the way. “We’re ready, let’s get this magic trick over with,”. 

*Oooooh yeahhh* 

Logan LaMottie let out a frustrated sigh, pointed glare focused directly on his best friend. “Virgil, we have school tomorrow morning and the chances of you seeing him, is completely infinitesimal, much less anything actually of interest”. Virgil rolled his eyes, but didn’t quite manage to wipe the small smile or the slight flush off of his face. “Are you still mad about that Lo?” he responded with a mischievous smirk, earning another sound of annoyance from his companion. He peaked at his reflection in the surface of the chrome pole that segregated the crowd away from the scarlet carpet leading to the black limousine with windows so tinted it seemed almost impossible that even the driver would be able to see through them. “Look,” Logan began again, shuffling closer to his friend in an effort to stop the girl next to him from standing on his foot. “Crowds aren’t my scene, and the really aren’t yours either, can we just go? You can just look up photos of him on the ride home or stare at your bedroom wall for a couple hours or something. You already know what he looks like after all”. Virgil turned to look at him for the first time since they’d arrived outside the stadium, literally hours ago. There was something in his eyes that Logan couldn’t quite place. He raised a hand, combing it through his hair before sighing for what must have been a record breaking third time in 45 seconds. This time in defeat. “Fine,” he replied. They could stay for his best friend to fulfil his dream of catching a glimpse of this Princey that he was oh so obsessed with. In the grand scheme of things, Virgil wasn’t one to ask much of him, so he supposed he could give a little just this once. Even if the level of infatuation his friend felt for the superstar was borderline nonsensical. Suddenly the crowd surged forward and the sound around them increased tenfold. Logan, unprepared for this sudden change in his environment was almost engulfed by the crowd, only saved by his friend sheer determination, grabbing his hand and barging anyone who dared to interfere with their prime position. Virgil could only see the very top of the blood red styled hair over someone else head, but as he moved along the carpet with his entourage following en suit Virgil swore he could drop dead right then and there. Princey smiled a wide, perfectly straight, perfectly white grin as he waved to the crowd, blowing kisses every so often. He now wore a red leather jacket over the silver glittery undershirt he had worn on stage, both tailored perfectly to fit his broad shoulders and slim waist. His white jeans were slightly scuffed at the ankles and knees, torn along the front in just the right places, making the olive skin peaking through appear even more tanned. Large sunglasses obscured most of his face but that didn’t matter to Virgil. He didn’t need to see those piercing green eyes to know that it was him. Right in front of him, if only for a moment. It was him. And the look on his face was something else. It was him, and he was so happy to be there. In a place with so many people he had reached and helped and who loved him for it. And though he knew the thought was ridiculous, that he was just another head in the crowd, Princey was so happy to be there with him, too. Logan found himself staring too, although his expression was drastically different than Virgil’s. Virgil’s face contained the kind of euphoria the he seldom let himself feel, much less express. The kind that would allow him to come out the other side of any awful experience still as peppy as Patton Truscott midway though a halftime show. Logan on the other hand, was completely lost in thought. Part of him was amazed that they had managed to pull it of. Part of him wondered how he hadn’t seen it before. Now that he was here it was obvious. The Remus and Roman Stewart did make a habit of acting rather stragely. Micellaneous doctor and dentist appointments pulled one or both of the twins out of class far too often for it to fit to any kind of regular health schedule. Their facial structure resembled Princey's to a tee, excluding his hair and eye colour which could easily be manipulated. For christ sake his first song to take off last Summer was literally called BEST OF BOTH WORLDS LOGAN HOW DAFT COULD YOU HAVE POSSIBLY BEEN. As the star and his posse reached the limousine, Logan snuck a look at his starstruck best friend, then back at the limo as another familiar face with less familiar electric blue hair stepped into the car behind the quote unquote “Rockstar”. “Okay they’re in the car, they’re leaving, time for us to go too.” Logan pulled Virgil by the wrist slightly, almost surprise when his friend followed willingly. He was quiet as they walked back to where Logan had parked, and most of the drive to drop him back home, unable to come up with much more than a couple of breathy half-words as Logan pulled off of the highway and into Virgil’s neighbourhood. He didn’t mind. This certainly was an interesting development, which he hypothesised would more than likely lead to equally interesting results. But first, an adequate circadian rhythm needed to be maintained, and further investigation was required. 

---------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: SO hey void here’s the first part of the thing I was talking about a while ago bc I felt like it was too good for ya’ll not to see and also I’m scared it’ll get lost in my unfinished writing tag forever. Don’t expect a part two until at least the end of next week cause homegirl has hella exams, anyway, onto the story and special thanks to the people that helped me figure out a direction for this story in the first place. (@frikijedai @datfearlessfangirl ya’ll are real one’s, sorry I couldn’t make them both miley lmao)

Tags: @nadja-chamack16 

#meganmakesapost #prinxiety #hannah montana #virgil sanders #roman sanders #sander sides #sandersides #logan sanders #patton sanders #enjoy my dumb shit lmao

[carmenxjulia]

6, 11, 12, 14, 16

6. Best relationship?

Bruh. Do you see my URL?

I’m just kidding! I really love the sibling relationship that Ivy and Zack have! They were great in season 1, but it kind of felt like their traits were slightly over-exaggerated so the audience could more quickly get a feel for their personalities. Ivy’s annoyance at Zack’s antics, and Zack’s comical incompetence, seemed to level out in season 2. They felt stronger as a brother-sister duo, less on each other’s nerves all the time. They’re the only family they have and they constantly look out for each other. It’s very sweet!

I also love that they aren’t above adopting a found family in people like Carmen and Player and now Shadowsan. They treat those closest to them like they are family as well. They share a special bond with each other because they’ve been on their own for who knows how long, but they absolutely appreciate Carmen taking them under her wing and care about her like she was directly related. They’ve got each other, and until she found them, Carmen only had Player - good company but, she’s never met him. So yeah, I love the familial bonds Ivy and Zack share, as well as the one they have with Carmen.

11. Who deserves more development and appreciation from the show and fandom?

Hmmm prior to season 2 I would have probably said Julia (I mean, I wouldn’t say no to seeing more of her, but we got some great Julia moments in S2).

I think we could stand to see more of Dr. Bellum! Her strong suit is gadgets/machinery/sciences, so it’d be interesting to know how she got her start in that and made it on to V.I.L.E. faculty. I mean, we know the organization is evil, but Bellum is literally willing to starve an entire nation to make a buck like… that is NEXT level! That’s not just theft of material items, that’s livelihoods and families. What brought her to such a point that she has so very little regard for human life? Wild.

As for the fandom, I hope we just keep appreciating Carmen herself because this fandom is so small. I see lot of love for the V.I.L.E. operatives and people making  V.I.L.E.-sonas and there’s nothing wrong with that! But the leading lady could use more love as well.

12. Which character do you relate to the most?

Probably Julia! She’s just trying to make her way in the world and do good and be a good person. She’s working on her confidence and in all honesty, is more competent than she or anyone else gives her credit for. She’s definitely not a perfect agent, she’s not as seasoned as everyone else, but she continually thinks for herself. She also relies on her intuition and inner feelings about others when deciding who to trust. She is very detailed oriented and focused on facts, and I think that helps her to know almost instantly who she can and can’t trust.

14. What part of Carmen Sandiego makes you emotional?

Two things.

One, found family. When Zack and Ivy put up the nesting dolls and asked Carmen if it felt like home like… Carmen had to leave everything she knew behind when she left V.I.L.E. All the people she considered her family. The only place she’d ever called home. As a kid, those things are wicked important to a person, so Carmen turning her back on all of it probably hit hard. The fact that she was able to find some companions on her very first caper was pure kismet and confirmation that they were meant to work together and become friends.

Secondly, the look on Julia’s face when A.C.M.E. showed up RIGHT AFTER she told Carmen she could trust her! And then how Carmen looked at her when she was dying in the woods with that betrayed expression! And how sad Julia looked because she had to have felt responsible for luring Carmen into a false sense of security even though she had no idea A.C.M.E. was going to pull a fast one! I feel very strongly about that entire situation.

Third (wait, what?) (okay last one), when Zack asked Player who he was supposed to support when Ivy and Carmen were both in like completely opposite directions and neither were answering so both were probably in trouble and Player had this brief look of sadness and hesitation before telling Zack to go get his sister? Carmen is Player’s first friend and he knew she was out in the woods alone and had no idea of her condition. But he also knew Ivy was in trouble and that Ivy and Zack only had each other. He understands the bond they share. Player, from what we learned, has a family outside of all the Team Carmen stuff, but, Carmen is still extremely important to him. Him having to make the choice was such a grown up task for him and showed such maturity when he chose for Zack to get Ivy. I imagine he told Zack that Carmen could take care of herself in large part because he was trying to assure himself of the same thing.

16. What can be done better in the show?

Well, apparently some of the facts in CS aren’t accurate if what I’ve read on Tumblr is correct, so, I would say that.

BUT, as for my personal opinion, I feel like A.C.M.E. should have been smarter.

It was fine, in season 1, for Chase to be a sort of rogue agent, a part of Interpol, but still playing by his own rules. That was his whole schtick. A seasoned cop, hot on the heels of a criminal. And his attractive and competent partner who is constantly overlooked. Sure. It worked.

A.C.M.E., from the get-go, plays itself up like this big secret organization no one has ever heard of. And Julia finds them behind an unlocked door in a parking garage. Not only that, but it seems like A.C.M.E. has access to all law enforcement resources around the world, and in fact, has authority over them. Now how could they be a secret organization and have that kind of power?

Rather than attempting to look at facts or closely examine Carmen Sandiego’s motives, they just decide she’s a part of V.I.L.E. Despite them, first off, not having solid proof of its existence because its activities and members have kept themselves hidden for well over 20 years. You’ve been searching for information on V.I.L.E. for two decades and you decide this person who works very much out in the open and makes themselves known to the public eye is a part of a stealthy crime organization? Yeah, that makes sense.

Julia had solid evidence that Carmen was a good guy working on their side, and A.C.M.E. basically ignored it, the same way Chase had. Cool, way to go, you’re so much better and smarter than regular law enforcement. Even after Julia worked WITH Carmen and saved the Medici dresses (which you’d think would be nearly irrefutable proof), going so far as to put Julia in charge while she took the brunt of the danger on herself, A.C.M.E. still wasn’t convinced. Really?

Julia suggested they get Carmen to join their side, and Chief agreed - then blew the whole meeting and almost killed Carmen, their closest connection to  V.I.L.E.! Just… wow.

Now Chief is like, catching Carmen Sandiego is our top priority! Forget  V.I.L.E.! Okay??? You’ve been chasing this organization for 20 years and now you’re giving it up because you’re mad? Talk about a rash decision. Seriously, Chief should be IMPRESSED that Carmen was able to hack into A.C.M.E.’s system and congratulate her. Carmen outsmarted her like it was nothing, and she’d be a much more valuable ally than an enemy.

No wonder it took them this long to even find out V.I.L.E. exists for sure.

#Carmen Sandiego #Carmen #Julia Argent #Text #Chief #Asks #drfennel #opinions #Chase Devineaux #Ivy #Zack #Player #Shadowsan #Dr. Bellum #MINE

[bri-notthecheese]

Tagged by @connerluthorkent​ ! Thank you so much my dear!! <3 <3 

Pick 10 ships without reading the questions.

1) Nygmobblepot (Edward Nygma x Oswald Cobblepot - Gotham)

2) Mergana (Merlin x Morgana - BBC’s Merlin)

3) Handers (M!Hawke x Anders - Dragon Age 2)

4) Korrasami (Korra x Asami - Legend of Korra)

5) Chlodine (Chloe Frazer x Nadine Ross- Uncharted: The Lost Legacy

6) Midna x Link (Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess)

7) Solas x Lavellan (Dragon Age: Inquisition)

8) Hannigram (Hannibal Lector x Will Graham - Hannibal)

9) Cassarric (Cassandra Pentaghast x Varric Tethras - Dragon Age)

10)  MakoHaru (Makoto Tachibana x Haruka Nanase - Free! Iwatobi Swim Club)

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

Oh man...that was soooooo long ago.  I played Twilight Princess for the first time when I was about 12 I think, so Midna x Link is the oldest ship on here. But I think I started shipping it after the first third of the game when Midna tries to protect you and nearly sacrifices her life because of it. You get this section where you have to sprint back for help as a wolf with her on your back in the rain as she’s dying and “Midna’s Lament” plays in the back and it was the first time I really felt myself get so worried for a video game character. And after that, she’s a lot more caring towards Link and you can see them grow closer and closer as the game progresses.

2. Have you ever read a FanFiction about 2?

Merlin x Morgana was the reason I started writing fanfiction actually <3 And I have read quite a lot! 

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr?

They have not actually!

4. If 7 were to suddenly break-up today, what would your reaction be?

OUCH™. This question came for my life a lil bit. Ow :(

*SPOILERS* But Solas does fucking break up with you in the game regardless of what you do and we’re basically doomed to face our lover and try to stop him before he destroys the world in the next game. That route/relationship is known as Solavellan Hell. Worst/best? part is that he still loves you and you him. But as for my reaction? Despite knowing it was going to happen somehow, I still sobbed and felt like I’d gotten broken up with in real life. BioWare really knows how to hurt us.

5. Why is 1 so important?

Strap in. I’ve only been into Nygmobblepot for almost exactly a year at this point and I can’t remember being *this* attached to a ship like this for a long time. Part of why it lingers in my mind is because there’s still that slight feeling of disappointment that they were so close to being explicitly canon on screen but homophobia got in the way, and yet they really are still canon in all but sharing a kiss and explicitly stating their mutual romantic intent. These two have checked off almost every box in regards to tropes because they went from strangers to friends to almost lovers to enemies to tentative allies back to friends with their mutual feelings being pretty transparent under the surface. There’s so much to play with in regards to story because you can have your pick of dynamics depending what season it’s set in and the creators in this fandom are next-level. They’re two people that are continuously ostracized from everyone around them and they consider each other their best friend, something neither of which has had before. They’re weird and pretty nasty people, but somehow are canonly so Soft™ when they’re around each other (unless they’re enemies and then helloooooo sexual tension). Both have said in so many words ‘I love you’ to the other and have been beaten, tortured, and thrown their lives on the line to protect the other. They’re stylish evil villains in love with an adorable height difference and their incredible chemistry really makes it impossible not to root for them.

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

Funny! They do have serious moments, but since they are both companions (and don’t have an *actual* side romance) they’re mostly there for humorous banter when you have them both around.

7. Out of all of the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

That is really hard. I feel like it might be a tie between both sets of Murder Husbands: Nygmobblepot and Hannigram.

8. Out of all of your ships listed, which ship has the strongest bond?

Again, I think I might say Nygmobblepot and Hannigram.

9. How many times have you read/watched 8’s fandom?

Twice! I watched the show as it aired and then I rewatched it when my best friend was getting into it!

10. Which ship has lasted the longest?

MakoHaru! They’ve been best friends since childhood <3

11. How many times, if ever, has 2 broken up? 

Damn all the painful questions keep coming for the doomed ships. So, Merlin and Morgana have never officially been together EVEN THOUGH THE WRITERS GAVE US THIS WHOLE THING ABOUT HOW THEY WERE EACH OTHER’S *DESTINY* AND DOOM and yadda yada. But while Merthur is the most popular ship in this fandom, I’ll always have a special place for Mergana because they  could have been something really special had the writers not made stupid decisions and had him not tell her about his magic. (this show in general makes me so bitter lmao) But they were really great friends in the beginning and him poisoning her would probably uhhh be the breakup and then it just got worse from there :(

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

Definitely 2 because they both have incredibly powerful magic. 

13. Did 5 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

They are in the early stages of their partnership ;) The game takes place over the course of 24 hours so they aren’t quite there yet, but I doubt they’d hide it once they did get together. 

14. Is 4 still together?

Yes they are!!! And I have all their graphic novels thus far to keep getting all of that good Korrasami content <3 

15. Is 3 canon?

Yes it is, in my world state at least. They broke up for about half a year after the events of the second game but have been together ever since and Hawke gets to talk about his bae when you meet him in the third game ^_^ 

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

Uhhhhhhh there’s like 3 people in this list that are ‘the most powerful magical being in their universe’ so. It’d be down to Merlin/Morgana, Korra/Asami, and Lavellan/Solas. I feel like due to the fact that neither favor underhanded means typically, Korra/Asami would be out. But Merlin, Morgana, and Solas are real bastards so it might be down to raw power mixed with what sabotage is laid out. 

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 10’s ship?

Not really, everyone in universe kinda knows they’re a thing. 

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

This is like my fourth tie but it’s gonna be between Nygmobblepot and Mergana. Nygmobs because they’re meant for each and have said so. And I’m currently obsessed. Mergana because it was one of my very first ships and even if it still ended tragically, I’ll always mourn the boatloads of potential they had for some really intriguing stuff between the two of them and never touched any of it.

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 1’s tumblr page?

Thankfully I’ve calmed from when I first got into it but I generally have a daily check on here and AO3 <3 

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she´d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?

Well since Mergana is DEFINITELY broken up forever, I’ll pick that one. 

This was SO FUN!!! Thank you so much again for tagging me!!! <3 <3 <3 Tagging @midnightanddiamonds​, @bisexualmoron​ @wicked-eyes-and-wicked-hearts​ @kessilover​ @jesscoot​ if you’d like to do it and anyone else who’d like to try!

#tag games #ship tag games

[retphienix]

Credits are rolling as I type because I saw fit to forego capturing since I didn’t REALLY do a live playthrough on the blog and instead just showed off moments here and there.

Just wanted to say, that was damned good.

It gave off such a dnd vibe to me and since I’ve yet to indulge in that truly it was a nice romp.

But seriously, what an awesome game with even more potential if more were to come in the series. Phenomenal writing and a very simple but ingenious gimmick of making magic simple but full of potential since it interacts with the elements and environment. A+ stuff there.

Did get a chuckle out of the ending slides surrounding a CaC gaining divinity basically just sliding the camera onto the same image 6 times where it clearly would be different slides if you used a default character lol.

What to dwell on...

Combat in the game was phenomenal! But it’s funny to me how it ended up in MY party.

Since I made the grave mistake of letting all the companions maintain their default classes I ended up with a rather eclectic combo and my OWN stubborness lead to me sticking to that for the most part.

Beardy as a full on warrior in the vein of my old WoW character. He ended up being a friggin’ godsend to the team since I ended up going more physical damage than magic (but still a 2/2 split team count wise TECHNICALLY).

Going heavy in 2h weapons and stength just resulted in him tearing everyone apart at a moments notice all while having his hand on that idol of resurrection so I could literally never be too risky with him. (A touch of a difficulty equalizer in some cases and complete nullification in other instances sadly)

Beast ended up molded to straight hydro for heals all while wielding the biggest shield I could manage at any moment and stacking con/int. He was bulky, sure, but didn’t really abuse that much and instead spent every battle freezing everyone with freezing blast and rain, or saying screw it and using blood rain with his torturer perk so everyone bled while he spammed heals. It was effective but mostly just CC.

Fane was the second MVP if not total MVP? Beardy really did the most all said, but Fane? A Necessity At All Times.

He was holding the second idol, though rarely needed it (neither did Beardy to be honest, but still).

Fane went all in on summoning, and aero as his secondary for when he ran out of spells etc.

His incarnate was insane through this run, I love how summoning can honestly give you either a huge physical damage output buff or any element you please. His summoning is why my 2/2 split party ended up leaning heavy on physical, because it made more sense to abuse a physical incarnate’s output than to constantly grab a water one (for restoration magic and water damage) or fire or whatever else.

Having powerful shock spells was nice too. But mostly he summoned and then buffed his summons. I INTENDED to stack some poison related spells on someone for healing him, but Fane ended up going the entire game after act 1 without healing outside of bottles and he did just fine. God that sleeping bag or what have you is op for out of combat and who needs healing in combat when you have an insta-rez on death and tons of damage going out.

Oh and by the end I decided to spend like 144k on a ring with 1/3rd the magic defense on it because he permanently poisoned him. So that was nice.

Sibelle did fuck all the whole time.

Which is rude to say, sure, and you’d be right to say that. I ended up enjoying Sib’s character and she did put out some nice burst damage in physical form at the start of most fights.

But I never gave her a chance and it shows. (in terms of build).

She joined as a worthless rogue with no invis or survivability and dual wield burst being her only tool, and instead of fixing that with some invis or survivability, I said “Sure, Sib. You’re a lethal assassin. Tell me how that works out.” and she proceeded to spend like 60-70% of the fights in the game face down in the pavement because after her initial burst of damage she’d die and I couldn’t be arsed to care.

She lived the final fight just fine though, go figure. She didn’t go down once and actually pulled her weight for more than just the first round. How novel a concept, Sib. Maybe next time grab some other talents outside of just scoundrel and dual wield.

What a self burn where I say I stubbornly made a bad character and it’s their fault. lol

Speaking of those idols real quick, it cracks me up how the one fight I completely botched was saved by them. When I ran into the paladin leader in the basement I decided to take him out since I heard he was with the black ring prior. I killed HIM just fine, but the rest of them were 2-3 levels above me and were rough as all hell.

Eventually it was Beardy, alone, in a corner, surrounded, and after like an hour of combat he finally fell. Everyone de-aggro’d. He rezzed with the idol. And I calming rezzed my team and walked out having killed the only person I needed to (and a couple extra). That was an amusing moment.

I love how the game would occasionally, with a straight face, do the most fantasy trope things possible and it felt FRESH since no one would dare do them today.

Things like trolls guarding bridges and a lot more I’m blanking on because of the credits rolling. I just appreciated that and found it really fun.

Credits just finished so I was reminded of the gift bags and what a damned shame!

When I first read up on them it was through a video showcasing how they can break the game etc A vid I’m sure someone would be aware of it they were aware of the subject matter.

Apparently at one point you could use them whenever to change and add features and still get credit for achievements/trophies etc. But that changed at some point so all these interesting gameplay tweaks are just sullied by you not getting credit for stuff.

Sure, that’s dumb of me to imply, but you know I’m right. No matter how much we fight the implication that trophies matter they still do to some degree. I, for one, like scrolling through them as a sort of list of past exploits, I even get some nice memories from doing just that, but activate a bag and you don’t get to write down that achievement.

Meaningless, sure, but enough of a dissuasion to prevent me doing it :/ For now at least. They really are a list of fun features to toggle! But why I harp on it is that some seem like 100% quality of life and nothing else and you still can’t use them without it disabling trophies :/ Things like “Sprint” for moving about the world faster, lord.

Achievements are such a stain on gaming, I swear. For a hundred reasons, and for making some like myself in this instance AVOID fun because we don’t “get credit” oh fuck off trophy. If you didn’t exist I’d have had more fun, hence why going back to play older titles that don’t have them is such a pure joy.

Bleh. I play into it AND hate it.

Anyways.

What’s there to say. Divinity 2 was a blast, I do wish for a more refined one later on but this was such a unique experience none the less.

Roughly 110 hours of gameplay (minus AFK time I do in damn near every game so I’ll say it was like 100 hours) and I’m left too speechless to say half the things that came to mind while playing. Darn it.

A+ stuff. I’m honestly still impressed that such a content loaded single player experience is ACTUALLY all that and able to do 4 player coop.

Sure it’s technically understandable, but in terms of what games, you know, generally do? That’s unthinkable to me. That’s the kind of thing that’s reserved for tabletop, hence my early mention of dnd. You don’t usually see a story driven things like this being coop on console- and if you do it’s lightly handled in a way where the coop player doesn’t matter. Like Fable 2 henchmen, or Fable 3 where the coop player might as well not exist and just shows up to do fights and follow the main player.

That’s the term.

Most coop rpgs have the MAIN player and then coop buds assuming they implement coop.

This game is more of a 4 MAIN players all at once situation and I’m entirely unfamiliar with that in gaming other than tabletop.

OBVIOUSLY this wasn’t too much of a big deal for my single player playthrough, but other than that it was almost always on my mind and lead to me starting 2 other runs with friends :) (that both pretty much died out because they both struggle to find time to play games as is so sitting down and coordinating 3 people for 2 separate coop runs of a 100 hour game wasn’t really happening- now I understand dnd groups pain lol)

Enough rambling when I admit I have lost all my talking points. Good game.

#divinity: original sin 2 #RetPlays

[dicecast]

Blast to the Past: why Nashkel Mines are bad

So in this sub series I tend to focus a lot on classic RPGs, especially Baldur’s Gate, and how I think it has a lot of valuable lessons that modern rpgs could learn from.  But sometimes we should also remember what doesn’t work about the past and why I’m still bitter about a game I played when I was in 5th grade.  

Ok so Nashek Mines are a terrible first level for a game.  We talked before about how BG had a very good (if not amazing) tutorial  but also important is hte first level, and I think that the Nashkel mines are probably one of hte reason why a lot of players gave up and stopped playing.  But first we need to talk about BG’s story design.  Basically BG is a zone based open world RP, once you get out of the tutorial, you can go almost everywhere on this map from the word go

If you want, you can go straight from Candle Keep all the way to Durlag’s Tower.  You shouldn’t cause that is a stupid and you will die but yo ucan and you can explore most of these at any point in the story line.  The only exception to this rule are 4 locations, which can only be accessed by your actions in the plot which are

The bandit camp

Cloakwood Forest

Baldur’s Gate

Candlekeep 

To advance to any one of these locations you need to do some plot stuff.  So basically you wander for a time, unlock an area, and then wander to the next one.  In fact the vast majority of the map has nothing to do with the main plot, which really is just going to a few locations.  The plot is basically

Candlekeep Tutorial

Go to the Friendly Arm Inn (optional)

Go to the Nashkel Mines

Stop by Beregost (optional)

Kill the Bandits at the Bandit camp 

Go to the Cloakwood mines

Stop by Baldur’s Gate and go to the Iron Throne Headquarters

Go to Candlekeep again

Return to Baldur’s Gate Palace

Go to the underground City and Fight the final Boss 

Everything else is basically extra, so the game is very much controlled your own pace. So far so good.  Here is the issue, the event you have to do to unlock most of the plot is the Nashkel Mines, and it is the only event in the game that is sort of timed.  The first 4 companions you are likely to get all have something to do at the mines and if you don’t go there in time, they leave you, and frankly if you really want to get strong enough to play this game properly, from a mechanical perspective it is best to go to the mines, clear them out gain a level or two, and then go exploring in the wilderness, because otherwise you really might just die.  From a basic mechanical perspective, the Mines work fine, they are just challenging enough that you have to pay attention to the mechanics and bring a full party, but you can do the whole area as a level 1 party without too much difficulty, and you will almost certainly gain a level in the process.   

    The problem with the miens come from a story/play sense, because they are super boring.  They are large, full of tight corridors that the path-finding can’t deal with, the vast majority of the enemies are just kobolds, who are not exactly exciting to battle, and its just a mine, like there aren’t any cool elements about the area which makes the place stand out.  You have to wade through 4 floors of this place before you finally get to the boss, who is like “What are you doing here” and then you kill him and its over.   

(this is where people’s nostalgic attempt to relive the game usually dies)

    From a story perspective, it gets even worse.  There are only two subquests down here, both of which are “find object and give to person” and nobody interesting to talk too.  Because its just a mine there isn’t exactly much interactivity to do, and almost every party will play their way through in the same manner.  It also doesn’t make any story sense, the loss of this mine has basically caused the entire region to go into chaos, and is threatening the entire economy, but it is just a bunch of kobolds, why didn’t the city guard just go in and clear it out?  Hell the mayor of the city is a level 6 range,r he could take a few of the guard and do it himself if he wanted too.  This normally wouldn’t be a big deal, except that BG is actually pretty good at grounding its story line in the world, so that type of mistake betrays the premise.

(if he can kill my evil party he could certainly wipe out those mines)

    This whole level kinda kills the pacing of the game for new players, who likely aren’t powerful enough to go exploring on their own yet, but just had go through one of the most boring dungeons in the game.  It also introduces the Problem of Xan.  Xan is an elf enchanter with a sweet moonblade who you meet in the final boss of the dungeon, and is an excellent companion to have in any party (assuming you like pessimism).  Here is the problem, you likely have a full party which means you cannot take him with you to leave unless you abandon somebody else.  And since this game doesn’t have the “please wait for me at this location” option then your only choice is to leave the mines, drop some people off, go all the way back down to the mines (which is again 4 layers), pick him up...and leave again.  This is just...utterly unacceptable game design.  

(The happiest Xan has ever been)

    What is worse though is that actually makes a later level worse.  At the end of Chapter 3 in the Cloakwood forest you arrive at...the Cloakwood Mines.  

    yes that is right, this game includes not one, but two separate mine levels, I am not even kidding. It is also 4 layers and also has a companion who you need to pick up at the end.  The key difference though is that this one is a lot less terrible. It has a lot more personality to it, there are some more side quests, the villain is actually interesting and the enemies within make sense considering the location and the power level.  You also fight a far greater variety of enemies here than you do prior to this point.  Its basically the Nashkel Mines again but objectively better in every way.  But since the Nashkel mines were really boring, its going to make this second much more interesting area...seem boring.

    The moral of this story is, plan your mandatory levels carefully and makes sure they don’t over lap.  No game needs 2 mine levels.  

#Blast to the Past #Baldur's Gate #RPGs #Isometric RPG #Nashkel Minds #Cloakwood Mines #Cloakwood #Iron Throne #Forgotten Realms #Xan #Yeslick #Fantasy