#also i quickly want to add that if you're interested in a very accurate and respectful portrayal of bpd: watch crazy ex-girlfriend!!

[messiahzzz]

while it’s perfectly fine to have your own headcanons that are non-canon compliant — by all means, go wild. recognizing pieces of yourselves in fictional characters can be a very healing and validating experience. this is nonetheless a casual, well-intentioned reminder that gale, in fact, does not have bpd.

bpd is a pervasive pattern of instability affecting interpersonal relationships, self-image, and mood. the disorder is marked by impulsivity beginning in early adulthood and is present in a variety of contexts. a diagnosis requires at least 5 of the following 9 criteria to be met:

Fear of abandonment

Unstable or changing relationships

Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self

Impulsive or self-damaging behaviors (e.g., excessive spending, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).

Suicidal behavior or self-injury

Varied or random mood swings

Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness

Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights

Stress-related paranoia or loss of contact with reality

source: [x]

i highlighted the criteria that do apply to gale in one way or another in a pretty purple.

i personally believe that it’s rather harmful to equate his relationship with mystra with her being “his fp”. she is a deity, his goddess, and the source of his powers, who is in in full control of the magic he wields.

gale: mystra commands all magic. salvation, if such a thing exists, is hers to bestow or withhold.

gale has been effectively groomed and conditioned to serve and revere her at every turn since early childhood. imo this comparison really undermines a lot of crucial points in gale’s story that deal with his overall trauma and abuse. after all, you wouldn’t call shar sh*dowhe*rt’s fp either.

gale doesn’t revile mystra, nor does he commit benevolent deeds solely motivated by the secret hope that she will somehow notice and take him back. when you meet gale in the game he has already fully come to terms with the fact that he has been abandoned by mystra with no hope of reconciliation whatsoever. he also had some very fitting lines in ea regarding this topic that i'm sad haven't been repurposed in the full release in some way.

gale: [the tadpoles] don't know that some things are impossible. they don't know that... they don't know. player: what is impossible about what you're being shown? gale: forgiveness. gale: it is mystra i see. and yet it cannot be her. there was a time when i would have believed - but no longer. gale: suffice it to say she would not bestow upon me the favors promised in these dreams. that is how i know they are delusions.

he has already reached the stage of acceptance. moreover, gale only starts to realize that mystra might have been in the wrong for requesting his death once the tadpole squad & tav speak some sense into him. and even then he doesn’t ever show that his emotions regarding mystra are anywhere along those lines. he is instead rightfully angered that she only saw value in his death, after he had been worshipping her loyally for years.

gale: i worshipped mystra loyally for years, and in that time she granted me the barest sliver of the power i was ready to wield. gale: even with the fate of the world at stake, she had little more to offer me than the means of blowing myself up at a more convenient time. she's done nothing to help us.

gale: you abandoned me in my hour of greatest need. i had no obligation to help you in yours. gale: because you had no right to ask that of me. you cast me out, remember?

gale doesn’t display rapid changes in mood either. he is a character who is generally very composed and has been known to remain nonchalant even in the face of utter horror. tim downie himself even commented on this once. source: [x]

the only instance i can think of is his sudden switch from resigned-to-death to utter-eye-sparkling-enthusiasm once he spots the crown of karsus. apart from crucial story reasons that i won’t touch upon in this post, i’d also like to add that it’s a rather common phenomenon for people who have just barely survived a suicide attempt to suddenly be filled with zeal and unbridled energy. he doesn't display impulsivity without thorough consideration when it comes to its acquisition either. he considers this a golden opportunity and is positively enthusiastic and elated that this might prove an alternative to him ending up in a cloud of netherese smoke. nonetheless, he knows what he is doing. evident in him actually succeeding in ascending in one of his endings.

gale: this is no passing whim, trust me. if i can obtain that crown, it will affect us all. it is not a decision i'll take lightly. gale: it's our future that i'm thinking of - we can't rely on anyone else to do it for us. gale: for now - we've learned all we can.

neither are his relationships that we do know of (namely elminster, tara, and morena) frequently changing. they are marked by years of mutual respect, care, and consistency. there is nothing unstable about them. while it's important to note that his relationship with tav is still in its honeymoon stages during the main game, there is no inclination of any push-and-pull dynamic between them whatsoever.

gale isn’t preoccupied with keeping up some sort of benevolent act in order to win (back) affection — he genuinely IS a good person and he proves this at every turn. moreover, to have a tressym become your familiar you must be of Good alignment.

(taken from tumblr user galedekarios's post.)

there is never a moment where his ideals or alignment suddenly change. in fact, i’d argue that he and wyll are most consistent in this regard when compared to the rest of the companions. gale makes his moral standpoint very clear from the beginning on and also explicitly states that he believes that in order to survive this entire ordeal it would be selfish of him if he wouldn’t be willing to compromise on his morals. this isn’t a sudden bout of ✨muahahaha wizard hubris✨ that he barely contained to hold in before, this is yet another act of selflessness — it is what he’s willing to do for the group and subsequently, the welfare of faerun.

player: i love unsavoury things. don't feel guilty on my account. gale: that's good to know. although i should say i do what i do out of a sense of utility and pragmatism, not a love of the unsavoury. gale: we're up against the greatest threat faerun has ever faced. i don't mind getting my hands dirty if it gives us a better chance of surviving. gale: whatever advantage i can gain for us. i will. and i refuse to feel guilty for it, no matter how much mystra's chidings might echo in my skull.

this is him, once again trying to be useful in whatever way he can. to give them an advantage, a slither of hope against seemingly impossible odds, so they might make it out of this in one piece. gale wouldn’t approve of those actions under normal circumstances, but their predicament is as far from any definition of “normal” as it can get.

gale is no fool, he realizes this is essentially about survival. he knows that he has no option left other than to tolerate, which is why he can be convinced to not immediately depart tav’s company even if they choose to commit atrocities. this is no character flaw of his or him displaying a previously dormant openness for cruelty, this is about recognizing the necessity.

player: you don't stand a chance alone. you're free to go. i dare you. gale: gods damn you - you're right. few things are more powerful than the will to live.

gale: i thought the orb to be the greatest of my sins, but i see now that there are darker depths to which i might yet sink. you may be content to sink into that abyss, but i assure you - i am not.

gale doesn’t lead a split existence. he has a very strong sense of identity. he knows what he wants, what he doesn’t want and he isn’t shy in expressing his boundaries either. which he has especially shown when it comes to his relationship with tav. i originally had intended to touch upon this in another post entirely but: i firmly believe his entire Gale of Waterdeep™ persona is more of a performance than him struggling to find a sense of identity and trying them on for size. it is an intentional decision to separate gale dekarios from the great wizard of waterdeep, to create distance and make sure his family name remains untarnished in case things should ever go sideways.

gale: i agree. and on the plus side, if i get myself into any truly cataclysmic straits during the remainder of our journey, my family name will go untarnished.

there is also a deep-rooted feeling of unworthiness and his firm belief that love and praise are conditional resources that he will only be granted through his talents alone, naturally. presenting himself as gale dekarios, the man, would mean highlighting his shortcomings and very human flaws, while distracting from the aspects of himself that are deemed praiseworthy, the ones that actually matter: his magical prowess.

i personally believe that part of the beauty of gale’s story is him realizing just how “little” it takes for him to be truly content. he gets his happy ending, with someone at his side who truly sees him, understands him and unabashedly commits to him. they worship and adore him in return — and it is well deserved. he isn’t reduced to be constantly and restlessly searching for some unattainable ideal to fill the gaping void within himself. he doesn’t secretly thirst for more power still or believes that in being with tav he is settling for something. instead, he is finally happy to just be. be and be accepted. teaching a class of unruly wizards and coming home to his spouse each day already fulfills him.

gale: that's how i feel with you - content. it's a rather unfamiliar feeling, i must say. not something gale of waterdeep ever craved.

even if he doesn’t pursue a romance with tav, he reaches a realization of “oh, it appears i am not irredeemably flawed and only able to reach true redemption through my own death. what i needed was actually with me all along.” throughout their journey and through his friend's support. i think that’s a very powerful and comforting message. he is very well capable of finding peace within himself.

devnotes: his default state is that he returned to waterdeep and became a professor of illusory magic at his former school, blackstaff academy. general vibe here is that this is a gale who's found peace with himself - he's a great teacher, one his students are mostly in awe of.

to repeat myself: sharing your headcanons is all in good fun, nor should you ever be discouraged from doing so. this is your personal tumblr experience, after all. but i personally think we should be mindful of unintentionally perpetuating negative stereotypes, such as narcissism being a general indicator or being deemed a classic depiction of bpd. i think we can all agree that the continuous longing for acceptance, connection, praise, and approval is something we all have in common deep down, regardless of whatever disorder we may have. [insert victoria justice meme here]

gale may be many things to many people, but he is no entitled narcissist.

#with love. a person diagnosed with bpd <3 #this turned much longer than i originally intended it to be (aka less of a reply and more of a character study) #by now you know that i am incapable of cutting myself short. i’m so sorry #i debated if i should put this in the tag at first #but i personally think that this is a very interesting discussion #also to reiterate: this is by NO MEANS a slight at the original poster #i just thought it more respectful to make my own post instead of invading theirs with my ranting #fandom is all about fun and escapism. #if you interpret characters in a certain way that i personally disagree with that is a-okay #BUT i’m also gonna have my own specific brand of fun by pointing out why you’re wrong (affectionately) #also i quickly want to add that if you're interested in a very accurate and respectful portrayal of bpd: watch crazy ex-girlfriend!! #its on netflix and genuinely such a funny and unapologetically weird show. the writers have really done their homework #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 meta #character analysis #it speaks #long post #suicide mention

[yellowspiralbound]

Since season 3 of The Witcher Netflix comes out tomorrow...here are some of my concerns on adaptation from this season onward. Potential spoilers for the future seasons and definite spoilers for the books. Long post ahead.

The Hansa's Dynamic

I am so worried about how the Hansa is going to be handled in the show. Like shaking in my boots terrified. The showrunners already really messed up Dandelion & Geralt's dynamic...and that's one of the easier dynamics present in the Hansa imo. The dynamic is already going to be screwy because Cahir is a middle aged man and not a petulant teenager if he's present in the Hansa at all (though I think he will be since Emhyr called him and Fringilla out at the end of s2).

Emhyr as a Character

Speaking of Emhyr...I think they might attempt to give him a redemption arc, and I cannot emphasize how bad of an idea that is. They're going to retcon the whole "wanting to impregnate Ciri" bit, which I have mixed feelings on. Like yes, on one hand that's fucking gross but on the other hand, that bit is in there to show how fucked up Emhyr is and why Geralt needs to get to Ciri so quickly; it adds a sense of urgency to the Hansa's travels. If I see Emhyr sympathizers on my dash after this season I will lose my fucking mind.

Milva's Pregnancy & Related Scenes

I suspect that Milva's pregnancy is going to be cut entirely or play up the rest of the Hansa's concern for her as a weird "men think they can control women's bodies" thing which Milva will have to fight with them about so the show can be appropriately pro-choice without exploring any of the pro-choice nuance the books bring up. I can just see Regis talking to the guys about it being turned into a "the father deserves a say in a woman's choice to abort" scenario instead of the "I will give this woman her abortion regardless of what you all think about that (and I've made that VERY clear) but I think she's making this choice because she believes you all will abandon her/not support her if she wants to keep this baby and someone needs to make sure that she knows that won't happen" scenario that it actually is. This is also plays into my concerns about the Hansa's dynamic as changing that scene changes it irreparably.

Characterizing Nilfgaard as a Nation

Right now I feel like the show could go one of two ways 1) Nilfgaard is wrong in everything it does or 2) Nilfgaard is right in everything it does (if Emhyr gets a redemption arc). The show has already made a show of the Northern Realms' racism, which is book accurate mind you, but I fear this will translate to a sort of "Nilfgaard is the better nation as its less racist" scenario. While Nilfgaard is better in that aspect and a few others, it is still a militant slave nation. Nilfgaard and the Northern Realms both have their evils and their virtues; that's a big point in the books and the games. Neither nation is 100% good or 100% bad - they're just nations. I don't think the show will be able to handle that kind of nuance.

Jaskier & Radovid...

Apparently, Radovid is supposed to be one of Jask's love interests this season. Radovid is a massive racist, a war criminal, and a teenager. I'm sure all of that's going to be retconned but for fuck's sake just make a new character if you're going to age up and completely change the personality and insanity of an existing one. Important note: I am 1000% in support of queer Jask. I have never shipped that man with a woman in my life (even in the books and games) but for the love of God why did his LI have to be fucking RADOVID??

Mistle & the Rats

If they make Ciri and Mistle a love story, I am going to be disappointed but not surprised. Let me be clear: Mistle is a rapist and an abuser. I suspect they will change that to shoehorn in a queer relationship (even though Triss and Philippa are RIGHT THERE if they want a semi-canon wlw couple). The Rats as a whole are definitely going to be made into more robinhood-like characters because God forbid a main character like Ciri is morally grey or does questionable/bad things.

Geralt's Disability

If this season ends with the Vilgefortz and Geralt fight, as I suspect it might, Geralt will be disabled permanently by the end of this season. The dryads do not fix it. Magic does not fix it. Geralt becomes disabled and stays disabled. His disability becomes a hindrance during the books and the reader actively sees him grapple with the fallout of this. I do not trust this show to handle that - especially with how much more closed off Geralt is in the show compared to the books. If I had to guess, Geralt's disability will be handwaved away or mentioned in passing and never actually shown to impact him which is not cool.

#the witcher #the witcher books #the witcher netflix #twn critical #books vs show #the hansa #milva barring #maria barring #regis #cahir #cahir mawr dyffryn aep ceallach #emiel regis #jaskier vs dandelion #jaskier #dandelion #geralt of rivia #cirilla fiona elen riannon #the witcher s3 #spiral's thoughts

[demonslayedher]

Okay so this might be nsfw(?) I’m not sure, but I’m just really curious to know if there were bras in the taisho era. Because I was wondering if that was what Daki/Ume was wearing during her fight(s). So so sorry if this has been asked before !!

Bras are reality, Anon, that question is safe here, no worries. And it's a quick answer: nope! Bras as we know them weren't even invented until 1910 by a young New York socialite, as the story goes, and although they very quickly gained popularity in the US and Europe, they didn't come into common use in Japan until the post WW2 period. Because of how they better shape the body for western style clothes, they really took off in Japan in the 1950's, when western clothing styles really started sweeping the country.

What would had been more common in the Taisho era was not to wear anything but normal kimono-like layers as chest undergarment. Even nowadays, bras are not typically worn with kimono due to the curvature they'd add to the chest; there are instead other padded undergarments which cover the whole chest area to add to the more tubular shape of a kimono ensemble. Depending on how tightly the kimono is bound and where the obi sits on a women, often that's all the support she feels she needs. On her lower half, however, women often wore yunoji, which were like skirts tied around the waist and covered the hips and upper thighs. The male equivalent was the fundoshi, which, and by merit of watching anime or generally having interest in Japanese culture, you've probably seen here or there, tied in various forms. Even Inosuke uses one, and his name is written on it. (And in case you're wondering about what women did when menstruating, as I understand, folded paper was pretty common.)

So when a woman wanted more support in the chest area, what could she do? A traditional form of chest binding, more or less, with a long piece of cloth called sarashi. In addition to supporting the breasts, it was also common to use these to wrap the botton of a big pregnant belly for more support, or even to carry children around afterward. When used like a bra, you may have seen this among girlbosses who have only half their kimono on and smoke from long pieces while generally being intimidating. In my personal experience, I've even seen it used at festivals, which is how I've worn one once. My experience was that it felt very secure, so I had a lot of freedom of movement. It did start to feel like one solid object that kept sliding down and needing constant readjustment after several hours of sweating and moving around in it, but otherwise I was comfortable. Appearance-wise, it actually spans a pretty wide area of the rib cage, from right under the armpit, so I didn't feel overly exposed in it either. If you're thinking of a certain character who could have really, really benefited from a sarashi both in how it could have supported what she was endowed with and how it would have made her more confident in her appearance, yes, I'm with you, I totally agree. The haori and socks are great and all, but someone give that girl a sarashi.

If we take this back to Daki, yeah, she... uh.... was pretty fashion-forward in her tastes, even predating bikinis by a few decades. (That being said, there are worldwide records of bikini-shaped undergarments from around the world that didn't exactly influence Taisho era Japan, but long, long, long predate the bikini or bra anyway.) But she's in good company for not being dressed in a historically accurate way, female ninja never wore anything like that in real life.

So anyway, here's Daki in more standard undergarments. It's very unexciting.

#kny nerdery #kny references #kny reference #daki

[anne-bsd-bibliophile]

Hii, i’m a follower of your twitter account and i just saw u moved here, so hello!! I wanted to ask if you have any tips for slow readers. I really enjoy reading but sometimes i’m not in the mood / my concentration doesn’t help or i simply read very slow, and i have a bunch of books on my tbr lists :( any advice? 🤍

Welcome! Thank you for following me on Tumblr as well!

I actually read slowly myself. If I read fast I don't transfer much to long term memory, so if I want to remember what I read after I've finished the book I have to take my time. Reading fast does not mean that you are a good reader, so don't worry if you don't read quickly.

My advice would be don't force yourself to read. If you're not in the mood then that's okay. And it is okay to take a break from a book if you are in the mood to read something else. Sometimes I stop reading a book and never get back to it. It is okay to lose interest or just not be into a book enough to finish it.

There are a few ways you can try to help keep your focus on what you are reading. You can visualize what is happening in your book. Making a movie in your head of what is going on or painting a picture of what the book is describing can make it easier to focus. I also will pause periodically in my reading and have a conversation with myself about my book. What stick out to me? Do I agree with what the characters or author are saying/doing? If I'm feeling any particular emotions I consider why I'm feeling that way or what it is that I've related to in my book. You can also try to set a small reading goal if that works for you. Don't make your goal anything difficult or stressful. Sometimes my goal is just to read a few pages before bed, or to bring my book with me to read during a short break at work. Usually if I enjoy a book it just takes me planning out a time to start reading it and before I know it I'm making time to finish the book because I'm hooked.

And this tip is more technical, but because I teach elementary school and teaching reading is a big part of that I want to add it here at the end. If you are not reading words accurately and quickly enough to be able to pull meaning from your book then you will always feel like reading is a chore. If you struggle to automatically recognize most of the words in the book you are reading then it will take some work. You will have to slow down, sound out the words that are not familiar, look up the meanings of the words, and only after you have really become familiar with how it is spelled and really know what it means will you be able to remember and recognize that word. Basically, your brain takes the word and files it away and you have to create as many pathways in your brain as you can to pull out that word quickly. If you know how to spell the word forwards and backwards, know the meaning of the word, and can use it in multiple contexts then your brain will be able to retrieve it from long term memory easier and you will recognize it automatically the next time you read it. The more words you recognize the easier reading is. This might seem like something you do in elementary school, but really it is a process that never stops for any of us. I've noticed that I follow this process every time I read a new book (I learned the word schadenfreude just last week).

I hope something in all of this is helpful to you. Everyone thinks differently, so everyone reads differently. What works for me might not work for you. Good luck! And thank you again for following me here on Tumblr.

[vanthedork]

Hi! Sorry if this is a bit forward, but I absolutely adore your art style! I’m someone who wants to get in to character art but doesn’t have the education yet to back it up, I was wondering how you learnt to drawer or if you have any tips on good places to start, if you feel comfortable sharing?

Thanks and have a great day :)

Heyo! That's a very sweet thing of you to say, it made me happy to read! Well I don't have an art education either but I think you can definitely build something up if you're determined enough to work on it. There are a lot of art tutorials out there, but I'm someone who doesn't really have patience to sit through long videos to learn stuff. Instead I'm gonna give you a few tips of what worked for me: Observe everything around you. Everything you see can be an art lesson: shadows, lights, colors, shapes. Try to break objects and shapes down to geometrical forms: It's easier to understand how to draw an object when you stop focusing on the small details and focus on the overall shape. You'll start to see that everything is geometry.

Don't use too many colors for a design. You can use shades of a color, but it's generally more pleasing to the eye when you keep your color palette narrow. Of course you can experiment and see what works best for you. I found that keeping it to a few colors that harmonize helps. Don't add too many vibrant colors cause they usually end up clashing (unless you're drawing a parrot or something that demands a vibrant palette), instead use neutral tones too (like greys, browns, creams etc). Shade and highlight using colors, not greys. Your art will become more vibrant this way. Try shading with colors that neighbor the color you are shading (on the color wheel). I usually go with purples/blues for shading but reds/browns work too for warmer environments. View everything in a 3D space. When you break things down to shapes this becomes even easier. Remember that everything has a dimensionality and that will help you add the shadows better and avoid making your work look flat (sorry for the below floppy balls lmao I whipped 'em up with the mouse quickly for visual reference)

Study from photos. It's important to look at photos and break down the poses so you can understand them better. I know I said I don't have patience for videos, but I make an exception for Ethan Becker because he's just fun to listen to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLIjD-5AgWU&ab_channel=EthanBecker

Draw a lot. What helped me improve really fast is that I love creating comics and so I used to draw a lot of comic pages, which would force me to draw the same characters but vary the angles, poses, settings to make it more interesting. Drawing a lot is the way to go, but make sure you draw a lot of what you like, otherwise it becomes a chore. Study your favorite art styles. We tend to be self deprecating and look at other people's art and think "man I suck in comparison." Instead try to look at art you love and analyze it. Say you love the way the artist draws eyes. Figure out what is it that you like about it. Is it the shape? Coloring? That subtle little line they add here and there? Analyze and try to break down art as if it was a puzzle and figure out how you could emulate this and that. It will also broaden your repertoire of shapes to make characters look different from one another. Don't be afraid to use reference. The biggest artists out there do it. You can not accurately draw something from memory, we are not robots. Whoever says referencing is bad does not understand how art works. I like to use 3D models that I can rotate, as it helps me figure out the angle I want to draw the thing in. A good website for this is sketchfab.com . You can create and account for free and preview 3D models for free to use as reference. You can even find models that are in motion and that you can pause to get just what you need. Use yourself as a model. When I need a specific pose, I usually set my phone camera up and take a picture of myself doing that pose. Our bodies will move naturally and emulate an organic pose.

Similarly, you can use google earth/google maps to drop down and have city reference, for all those different looking buildings. I hope these tips can be of help to you and if you want me to talk about something specific don't be afraid to ask. I'll try to help as best as I can! :) Remember, no challenge is too big if you've got passion for what you do! I used to draw with a mouse for a few good years because I couldn't afford a tablet. You don't need fancy tools or expensive study materials as long as you are dedicated to your craft.

#askvan #textos #art help

[emyluwinter]

Tenderness does not mean weakness

What does my OС Yuu do?

Comfort everyone! (because she's f*cking tired of raking other people's problems!)

My Yuu is very gentle and attentive to the condition of other people close to her. But you can't just get her "help".

According to the game, Yuu is a very "sharp" and" bold " character.

A girl with a sharp tongue and a quiet character? (Idia said in his voice remarks that Yuu is also an introvert)

Who also beat THREE Sawanaclaw students? (I swear to you, I really love women who can kick other people's asses. Show me at least one girl from Leona's homeland, please!)

I'm in business.

The first - Riddle.

After the overblot, Riddle personally invites Yuu to a private tea party to apologize for his "rude outrageous" words addressed to Yuu.

Yuu talks to Riddle about everything for a very long time. The Red King pours the tea himself and follows certain rules, but Yuu helps to relieve his inner tension by giving him that relaxing atmosphere. Which he missed so much. He will not be judged if he breaks the rules, if he makes a mistake, Yuu will not focus on this and will ask if Riddle himself is okay.

And Riddle becomes more and more red with embarrassment and confusion, because Yuu often says some phrases that lead him to a stupor.

"You are loved", "You're a good friend", "I am proud that you are trying to change despite," "You are a reliable headman to whom you can turn for help "You work hard, but remember to relax and have fun with others"

A couple of tender words here, a little care here and Riddle melts.

At the end of the tea party, Riddle breaks down and bursts into tears. Because despite everything that he has done and said, Yuu gives him understanding and care

without self-interest, without malice. Everything he craved as a child. All the things that he didn't get.

Because he plucked up the courage and apologized for what he did. It was an important step to admit that I was wrong and ask for forgiveness.

In the end, Riddle gets the most tender hugs from Yuu and he throws out everything that he has been saving up for years. All that resentment, all that bitterness that gnawed at him. Yuu does not interrupt, but only occasionally adds his words here and there, wiping his tears with a napkin.

And she tells him to keep a list of wishes "Wishes that you want yourself, and not those that were imposed on you from the outside" to start with small ones like having tea with friends or praising yourself for the work done and giving yourself a rest. These small steps can help him now understand what he wants to do next.

That evening, Riddle felt very tired and mentally exhausted, but he felt incredibly relieved, as if he had taken off his "own collar", heavy and old, which did not allow him to breathe.

But it's easier for him, much easier.

The next morning, everyone in the dorm was saying that Riddle was in a very good mood.

Riddle swears that he will never understand how Yuu can communicate with others like this.

Especially to save him from Floyd.

For example, start playing a snow battle with him so that Riddle does not run away from him.

Riddle can't play snowballs? Yuu quickly explains to him what to do and how to make the right snowball. For Riddle, she specifically talks about several rules to make him more comfortable.

He's not very good at hitting Floyd. This Merfolk is terribly dodgy. But Yuu accurately hits the branches of a tree and covers it with a snowdrift.

Floyd was laughing so hard and tired that Yuu had to dig him out.

Riddle is unharmed. Tired and clearly delighted with this little battle.

Floyd left tired and happy, forgetting about the "goldfish".

Rosehart was very pleased with the small game, remembering that he often saw children playing something like this from the window. And now he could be a part of it.

Yuu just in case explained to him that you can play snowballs at any age.

Riddle makes some ridiculous snowmen in his dorm with Yuu.

After that, he decides that the snow sculptures looked very beautiful in their garden.

He loves it so much when Yuu comes with a Grimm to their tea parties. For some reason, looking at these two, he feels ... freer? Relaxed? There is something so cozy and relaxed about these two, as if he sees old beloved friends.

Restless to the horror, but he has already resigned himself.

Yuu knows a lot of stories. About some Queens and their periods of rule, about all sorts of fairy tales and myths. (My Yuu loves stories very much and knows quite a lot of them)

Riddle sometimes wondered if Yuu really should be in the first year with such knowledge.

When Yuu started talking about the pirates, Riddle's questions were unstoppable.

He asked about all the pirates known to Yuu, because he did not have such "ordinary interests" before and now he was catching up with them at a high speed.

Pirates?Yes. Detectives? Are there any strategies there? Three times yes. Stories of Queens or legends? Riddle is ready to transfer Yuu to his dorm if it guarantees that the stories will be told during the evening tea party.

Grimm will sell his soul for tuna. Riddle - the stories of Yuu and strawberry pies.

When Yuu found a collection about Sherlock Holmes in Sam's shop(let's say Yuu can name any things and they will appear in the store even if they are from her world, Sam swears that he does not know where they come from. But Yuu is now a favorite customer)

Riddle for the first time in his life did not sleep all night and read a book excitedly. Trey was genuinely surprised when Riddle almost fell asleep at breakfast. (I have a post with a story about the book and Riddle, look in the archive with the title "The Book")

The Heartslabyul hostel was horrified when Yuu gave Riddle a real pirate saber for his birthday and a copy of the scepter of the Queen of Hearts (made of wood,but very beautifully made) and a set for collecting a copy of a pirate ship.

Riddle was wildly delighted.

He loves Yuu for her support, sensitivity, finding non-standard solutions, courage and ability to listen to others and hear them, quiet character, and help with problems from Adeuce. And also incredible patience and calmness.

Although he had heard a couple of "rumors" about how Yuu almost castrated several students with a pruner because they attacked her and Epel.

Riddle decided never to push her to the limit of her patience.

Riddle had to explain to Yuu for a very long time that flamingos and hedgehogs will not suffer when playing croquet. Yuu ​still couldn't watch their croquet matches, much less play them.

Grimm also liked to roll hedgehogs and play with them.

***

I do not know if I can write for the other leaders of the hostel. In particular, little is known about Idia or Malleus.....

Or their deputies. ....

Maybe I will write, but a little less for others. Or I'll choose my favorites.

Thank you for reading this!! Please don't forget to take care of yourself! This is important to me!

Eat and drink some water.

If you are taking medications, check if you have drunk them today.

Don't forget to relax and tell yourself that you look damn beautiful today. Even if you are tired and in pajamas.

You are important, you are valuable. I love you and am proud of you!!

You will not run away from my vibes of kindness and support.

* villainous laughter*muahahaha~

I love you, sunshine! Your San~

#twst grim #twst #twst yuu #twst mc #disney twst #twst wonderland #twst reader #twst riddle #riddle twst #twisted wonderland riddle #riddle rosehearts #Heartslabyul #OC Yuu #San #comfort

[yazthebookish]

Since I'm in the mood to write I thought I'll take the opportunity to debunk the floating titanic door theory known as the "Lightsinger Theory"

If you're trying to guess what I mean by the "floating titanic door" in case you haven't watched the film, just Google it. That's an accurate example.

I'm gonna have fun pointing out the flaws in this theory because oh boy there are plenty.

But first, let's imagine that the next book is an Azriel/Elain book with Gwyn featured in it as a Lightsinger. To quickly refresh your memory, Lightsingers are evil beings that live in the Bog.

• When an author creates an obstacle or a conflict for a character, it is done to have something to drive the plot and to add to the character's development. Since each ACOTAR book is a standalone, that personal obstacle/conflict will have to be resolved by the end of the book (as we have seen with Nesta). In this case, if Gwyn is a Lightsinger and her powers are the obstacle here, then this is considered self-conflict and it will have to be resolved by the end of the book.

When you think about a possible plotline dealing with a character you have to ask yourself these questions:

• If the purpose of the bonus chapter is to set up Gwyn's arc as a Lightsinger in the next book—and being a Lightsinger will be Gwyn's self-conflict, how does that serve the plot of a book centered around a couple (Azriel and Elain)?

You had Nesta and Cassian deal with an external character's conflict (Feysand baby) and most of us can agree how much it took from their own story. However, that conflict does have an immediate impact on the main couple, it wasn't personal, and it's resolution was important to both of them (especially Nesta) because it had consequences on everyone if it was not resolved.

Gwyn being a Lightsinger does... not? We could argue for Azriel it would likely have an impact but not on Elain who did not even meet or has any sort of relationship with Gwyn. The resolution of Gwyn being a Lightsinger does not impact or benefit Elain because it's Gwyn's personal conflict and part of her arc. Azriel, yes, since he has formed a bond with her and the Valkyries by the end of ACOSF. That's basically having another female character take away the attention from the main character and have the MC's love interest deal with another character's self-conflict.

If Gwyn's purpose in the bonus chapter is to hint at her Lightsinger powers because it'll be part of the next book, then Gwyn is not just a side character because one of the plotlines of the next book will have to deal with her own conflict and resolve it since it was set up. This sort of conflict requires her POV.

But if people will argue Gwyn is just a redherring, or she is in the bonus chapter to give us a hint about her powers but she would still be a side character because Sarah wants to distract everyone from Elr*el, and it won't be relevant in the next book but maybe the future books.

Story-telling wise? That doesn't make sense and it's a very weak statement because why waste page time on something that won't be dealt with in the next book?

• Another question is, how do we connect Gwyn's powers to Lightsingers? Where did Sarah hint at it? What is Gwyn's background?

When we met Gwyn and saw that she glows when she sings, it is something that we took note of because we haven't met a High Fae that glows aside from Feyre and Helion. We see her glow for the first time on page 153, we got our answer to that on page 316 when we find out her heritage.

Gwyn is 1/4 River Nymph. River Nymphs are considered lesser Fae. We have seen that in this world there are lesser Fae that glow.

High Fae and various lesser faeries I’d never encountered and didn’t know the names of wandered the streets. It was the latter that I noticed more than the others: some long-limbed, hairless, and glowing as if an inner moon dwelled beneath their night-dark skin[...]

This is where the readers make the connection between Gwyn's glow and large eyes to her quarter nymph bloodline. Also in mythology, nymphs and sirens are often associated with singing so it comes at no surprise she would glow while she sings.

Another argument is Nesta's powers sensing and reacting to Gwyn's powers. Until now, we have not seen Gwyn showcase any powers. When that power was sensed it was described as crackling energy. We could tie that to her Autumn Court bloodline since Beron's powers we described as crackling. She might as well have fire powers like the Autumn Court High Fae. Didn't she also sense an ornery energy around Merrill?

The language used for Gwyn's singing is often through Nesta's POV. Of course a lover of music like Nesta would be poetic when she hears a beautiful singing. It's a natural reaction to be drawn to someone's beautiful singing. Throughout the book we have seen Nesta love and appreciate music and singing.

It is said that Gwyn is the one that triggered Nesta's vision of the harp without taking into consideration that:

- Before the service, Gwyn tells Nesta they dug out lyrics under Level Seven and the lyrics are so ancient they predate the written word. Notice how we are told this before the service/vision scene?

- Nesta said even deep into her misery, she frequented pleasure halls and taverns because she loved the music so much.

- When Gwyn and the priestesses begin to sing, there is no menacing language, it's Nesta's poetic descriptions of the music and the singing she is luxuriating in. Gwyn's voice is the most beautiful among them and of course she will appreciate her friend's singing.

- “The music took form behind Nesta's eyes as the priestesses sang lyrics in languages so old, no one voiced them anymore. She saw what the song spoke of: [...]” the text reminds us that the song that pulled Nesta to that vision are the ancient lyrics the priestesses are singing. We are told twice that the priestesses will be singing ancient lyrics that were found under Level 7.

Also, one ridiculous point I once read was that Gwyn's Lightsinger powers is hinted in the glowing charms of the bracelets. I definitely would call it ridiculous since it taints the beautiful symbolism behind the friendship bracelets, and people choose to forget the charms were glowing when Nesta held them to her to make a wish. It wasn't Gwyn's doing. It was Nesta's powers.

• What connection do Lightsingers have to the Cauldron-made items of the Dread Trove?

“There are lightsingers: lovely, ethereal beings who will lure you, appearing as friendly faces when you are lost. Only when you’re in their arms will you see their true faces, and they aren’t fair at all. The horror of it is the last thing you see before they drown you in the bog. But they kill for sport, not food.”

“The Middle is full of primal magic. It has its own rules and laws. Hunt the kelpies or lightsingers without provocation and you might find yourself trapped here.”

First, the Lightsingers were mentioned only twice in one chapter and were never brought up again. The context of it was because Nesta, Cassian, and Azriel were leaving to the Bog to find the Mask. The only reason they were ever brought up was because they are evil creatures that dwell in the Bog.

Where does the "Lightsingers can trigger vision lw of the trove" "they can manipulate and lure others" "plant images in someone's head" "they can manipulate the shadows" comes from?

- If Gwyn's "Lightsinger" powers can trigger a vision related to the Dread Trove, doesn't that mean her powers can be used to find the Fourth Trove?

- The only way Lightsingers lure their victim is by showing up to them as friendly faces until their victims are within arm's reach and then they show their true horrific faces.

- I think if Lightsingers can plant an image in someone's head, that can make their job easier for them no? They wouldn't need to transform into a friendly face, they can lure their victims by planting images.

- Azriel's shadows can sense and hear things others can't. They can sense the Cauldron'a singing they cringed from it. They can sense Koschei's powers that they even hid behind Azriel's wings. What makes Lightsingers ability to deceive his shadows more powerful than the damn Cauldron and a Death God?

• Gwyn's Lightsinger powers affected both Nesta and Azriel!

- I've already spoke about Nesta above but I'd also like to add that Nesta had joined Gwyn and the priestesses every evening to sing in the services. If Gwyn's singing triggers dread trove visions, Nesta would've had about hundreds of dread trove visions by the end of ACOSF.

- "Azriel found himself in the library at 7 o'clock in the evening" jokes on you he also found himself downstairs before Elain showed up earlier and 7 is a holy number in Judaism.

- "She put something in Azriel" Azriel feeling settled by the end of his scene with Gwyn was because he wanted to let out the rage in the ring. Since he did not, one conversation with Gwyn settled down that rage and his shadows have calmed down and were content to just watch her. He left the ring without needing to let out that rage because he calmed down.

- "The shadows sang and danced, she is definitely influencing them" the fact that Sarah called the mating bond the music between souls and the song of the soul is a strong evidence, because one of the shadows danced with her breath as if it heard some silent music (she wasn't even singing, what could it be??) and they sang back to the distant beautiful singing. The spark in the chest is a good hint as well. I've already highlighted before about the similar mates language/musical language here.

- "She made him give her the necklace and put her image in his head" Gwyn had no clue about the necklace, she never leaves the library it's not like she followed him when he went shopping. If Gwyn was affecting Azriel in any way, that would have been shown earlier because he was already giving her private dagger-handling lessons before Solstice. Of course, the whole Gwyn planting her image in Azriel's head is ridiculous because he was aware and conscious of his thoughts: “But Azriel tucked away the thought, consciously erasing the slight smile it brought to his face. Buried the image down deep, where it glowed quietly. A thing of secret, lovely beauty.”

- “But for whatever reason, he could see it! She forced the image into his head” no shit... didn't that image come up when Clotho thanked him for the joy it will bring to Gwyn? We might as well say Clotho planted that image. He is the one that kept picturing her joy, you know? mates thing and all. While it's true that the mates theory is only theory, but it has canon backing based on the mates language Sarah often uses.

• So, Gwyn can't be a Lightsinger AT ALL?

Based on current canon info, I don't believe she is. In the future? I can't say for sure since I'm not the author. I don't think even if she was that it's going to be about changing the belief that they're all not evil because Gwyn is only 1/4 River nymph if people assume that's where her Lightsinger lineage comes from. It won't have an impact on Lightsingers' reputation since she is 3/4 High Fae.

It is interesting that Sarah created beings that are the opposite of Shadowsingers. There is no way no one made the immediate connection between Lightsingers/Shadowsingers, but of course Lightsingers are more sinister. I do see people liking the Lightsinger/Shadowsinger dynamic because they compliment each other.

If it's something that will be dealt with, it's going to be part of Gwyn's arc and requires her POV. I doubt if it happened it will play out the way some people are claiming Gwyn is already luring others or others are manipulating her. If that was the case, that's going to devastating for her since she will doubt every friendship and bond she had formed especially with Nesta and Emerie.

To conclude my debunk of titanic's floating door, there are many flaws in this theory and it's obvious that certain canon scenes are twisted to backup fanon facts and theories.

#anti e/riel #gwynriel #gwyneth berdara #azriel #it's been in the drafts but finally posted ooppss

[toothpaste-dragon]

I know for questions, you're probably talking about Far From Home, but what about William, the fish guy? What was he like in the early days of character development? How has he changed since you first thought of him? And I guess, same question for the FFH folks. Thanks in advance.

I was honestly so excited to receive this question because I LOVE my boy William! Plus it’s fun to talk about character origin stories.

Buckle up. This is gonna be a long answer.

Up until 2014 my art largely consisted of fanart or fan characters, so I had never produced content that was truly original. During spring of that year, I stumbled upon and quickly become enamored with some original characters on deviantart, many of which were ‘monsters’ (vampires, mermaids, werewolves, etc.). Seeing these characters inspired me to create my own story with characters that catered to my own interests.

William is the first original character I ever created, so he has a special place in my heart. This is my very fist sketch of him! (Sorry for the low quality.)

My initial idea for his story was disorganized and had a lot of missing pieces. In the early days of character development, William was nothing more than a character I liked for his design and personality. I had very little experience with character creation, so I put a lot of myself into him. He was shy and timid and anxious at times, but he also had low self-esteem and didn’t feel like he fit in anywhere. And for good reason — his backstory was one of confusion and grief. Originally, he was an orphan that had been kidnapped by scientists and genetically modified to resemble a fish, all while retaining his previous characteristics and a humanoid shape. The scientists raised him and were training him for some unknown task, of which I never decided before changing the direction of the story entirely.

William and his story turned six during March of this year, and both have changed A LOT since then! He’s no longer a chemist, nor does he have any experience in the sciences. I also gave him some glasses and a nice argyle sweater (which now serves as his classic look, haha), and I’ve decided he’s of Asian descent for reasons explained in a few paragraphs. Not only have I refined his story to be more practical and understandable, but I’ve also given William a purpose, something to pursue. He’s still anxious and feels like he doesn’t belong, but he doesn’t stay that way forever.

I always liked stories about monsters, in the sense that something not-quite-human longs for a place among normal people. Society views these ‘monsters’ as unnatural or potentially dangerous, and yet the monster displays more humanity than the humans themselves. I really want to lean into that idea as I tell William’s story. He may not be your typical monster, but he certainly feels like one. Different, unnatural, out of place. Yet he has a kind heart and a childlike fascination with the world. The road is difficult, but with a bit of help he eventually finds his niche.

Here’s my most recent sketch for comparison, and a lovely depiction of William by my pal HareSoup!

Besides the few changes mentioned above, Will hasn’t changed much design-wise. He has fins in place of ears, gills on his neck, scales scattered across his face/trunk/limbs, and a bit of webbing between his fingers/toes. He can breathe underwater and on land, but his scales and gills have to receive moisture every 1-2 hours or he’ll develop health issues/fall ill.

I don’t remember when I decided I wanted to write a full-length book telling Will’s story, but it’s still a goal of mine! To give you a brief synopsis of the current story, now titled “Fish Out of Water”, it takes place some years after the signing of the Conventional Forces in Europe treaty, which officially brought the Arms Race to an end. During the Arms Race, nuclear weapons were tested without concern for radiation and the effects it had on nearby civilians. In one particular scenario, Asian civilians were evacuated from a small town-turned nuclear test site, but they were not properly protected. The offspring of these civilians developed unnatural deformities/features, such as extra limbs or feathers, as a result of exposure to unhealthy levels of radiation. Worried that this development would mortify the public, the government hid the children in a science facility stationed in a secluded part of the ocean, and they remained within its walls for years. After 28 years, William escapes the facility with the help of his guilt-ridden caretaker and is found unconscious on the shore of a coastal city by marine biologist Martha Collins. The story follows Will as he attempts to shake his government pursuers, but it’s really a story about friendship, self-worth, and discovering what it truly means to be human.

Though unfinished, William’s story is very special to me, and I’m looking forward to sharing it with the world someday :>

As for the Far From Home folks, they came from simple beginnings. It all started with a sketch — this one to be exact!

Back in the spring of 2017, I was stressed and tired and frustrated with school, so I thought it’d be fun to create some new characters. Specifically, comfort characters that fit my favorite tropes. I took a lot of inspiration from the movies “Ernest & Celestine” and “You Are Umasou” when it came to personalities and character dynamics. I loved the idea of a tough, grumpy man who is completely unqualified to be a father stumbling upon and eventually adopting a small, bright-eyed child. There’s just so much you can do with that concept!

I specifically remember sitting in the library at school and just…drawing. I had no initial designs in mind besides something big and sharp, and something small and soft. Two opposites that would become a makeshift family.

I liked the designs enough to digitalize them, reworking aspects of their designs in the process. This was the first ‘accurate’ drawing of Baz and Toko. (I don’t like it too much anymore, but it’s a good color reference!)

I never like leaving a character without a story, so I eventually came up with a couple ideas that adequately described their relationship. In fact, my first idea presented Toko as some sort of child princess and Baz as her assigned bodyguard! That one obviously didn’t stick, but it did allow me to gain a better understanding of what I wanted.

Over time, I did a bit of world building and expanded upon the FFH universe, which opened and closed doors for potential storylines. I realized I wanted to add more characters too, leading to the creation of Gerdie and some other important figures. Gerdie looked quite a bit different than he does now — in fact, he was originally supposed to be an android! I played around with that idea for a while before eventually discarding it.

Here’s my most recent size chart featuring all three main characters!

I honestly never expected Far From Home to expand beyond a simple idea, and yet here I am, thinking I can turn the story into a trilogy someday. There’s still a lot of work to do if I want to reach that goal, but I genuinely enjoy these characters and their dynamic is really fun! They’ve grown very dear to me over the past three years. So I think that’s reason enough to try, anyway.

To give a bit of background on the story itself, it’s set in a fictional version of outer space where humans don’t exist. Intelligent, technologically-advanced aliens from neighboring planets/galaxies have established contact with one another, leading to the gradual formation of an intergalactic government and melting pot mega-society. Due to the unforeseen complexity of this endeavor, strict rules were put in place to regulate the selling/purchasing of certain goods and services, transportation between galaxies, and other related activities. This system is not without complications.

Baz and Gerdie work as intergalactic merchants, but that’s just a cover for their job as smugglers. Together, they travel to different galaxies and exchange goods for the designated currency, as well as deliver illegal substances to specific planets. Baz is the captain and pilots the ship while Gerdie is an engineer and works as the mechanic. They’ve known each other for quite some time when the story first begins. Baz has quite the interesting history, much of which ties into important aspects of the story.

Toko is a young alien who gets separated from her family and wakes up in the storage unit of Baz’s ship, with no memory of how she got there. Baz finds her and suspects she’s a thief, but she quickly explains her predicament and asks that he help reunite her with her family. Baz is reluctant at first and denies her request, only to discover there’s more to her story than he originally thought. Unintentionally dragging Baz into a frightening adventure full of old friends and all-too-familiar foes, Toko eventually inspires a change of heart in the smuggler. The story explores themes like forgiveness, what it really means to be good/bad, and the idea that family isn’t defined by blood.

I know that was a lot, but I hope it was at least somewhat interesting! Thanks for asking about my characters and sticking with me through this <3

#ask #ihavebeencalled #Far From Home #Baz #Toko #Baz and Toko #Gerdie #Fish Out of Water #William

[andrea-lyn]

Oh no, another Malex prompt, an AU if you're into it: Michael is a young University (linguistics? sociology? engineering?) professor (alien or not, to be decided); Alex is the AF veteran using his post-secondary pay to go though University. They meet at a coffee shop/the library/used car lot,wherever but know better than to screw it up. But it's so hard.

“Dr. Guerin, do you have a minute?”

Michael is in the middle of grading a pile of papers and he’s regretting agreeing to take on Introduction to Engineering Materials of the Future, because in his entire class, there’s only about three promising students who are going to make it.

He glances up in the middle of marking up another paper in red to find one of those three students standing there. Student of course, being an accurate word, but definitely not one of the young ones that make him wonder daily why he signed up for this willingly.  “Captain Manes,” he says, shoulders practically sagging with relief to be handed a reprieve. “Please. Rescue me.”

“That bad?”

Michael doesn’t say that he’s debating firing up his spaceship and leaving the planet, but he’s definitely had a few of those thoughts in recent days.

Being an alien who’s come to earth to hold down a job and learn about their science and their culture had sounded like a good mission when Max had offered it to him. Now, he’s debating how many of the papers he’s had to grade he’ll need to make a giant origami middle finger that he can fly home to Antar.

“This paper is trying to convince me of the merits of jell-o,” he deadpans, which isn’t exactly promising.

As happy as he is for the distraction (both because Alex is one of his smartest students, but also he’s easy on the eyes and basically his age), he doesn’t know why he’s there.

“Are you here for office hours? Your last paper was excellent, same as your test scores,” Michael says suspiciously.

“Do you not want me here?”

The opposite, actually, but honestly, he’s been trying to ignore that flare of want within him. For one, Alex is a human. He’s also one a student, which isn’t so much of a problem because he’d enrolled after three tours, so he’s older, but he’s Michael’s student.

“No,” Michael hurries to answer when he realizes he hasn’t. “No, I’m surprised, that’s all.”

“I actually do want your help, but not with this class. I know I need to take the pre-reqs first, but I’ve been consulting on a project with the Air Force and I could use your help taking a look at the aerodynamics of the wings, if you’re feeling up to it?”

Michael shouldn’t.

He really shouldn’t. For one, it’s probably in poor taste to help a student with another professor’s class. It’s an even worse idea when the student you want to help is also a student you have a crush on. They’re about the same age, he knows, if for a few months difference, but he’s still Michael’s student until the semester ends and Alex heads off for his degree.

Yet, here he is, nodding. “Sure, why not.”

He ignores the pile of papers he needs to grade and spends the next few hours leaning over Alex’s shoulder to look at his work, rapidly tapping the paper as he offers his opinion, and drifting in to check his work to the point that he’s so close he can smell Alex’s body wash.

Michael exhales a hitched, stuttered breath, and forces himself to pull back before he gets in trouble.

Alex seems to be having similar thoughts. “I should probably…”

“Yeah,” Michael agrees hoarsely. “Yeah, I still need to finish grading,” he says, watching Alex stand and collect his books. He’s hovering close to Alex as he escorts him out, but before Alex leaves, he turns and presses his back up against the closed door to Michael’s office.

Student, he reminds himself. Alex Manes may be a Captain in the Air Force, an adult, and the tastiest snack he’s seen in these halls in years, but he’s still a student.

”Thank you,” he says, voice husky. He wets his lower lip as his gaze slides to Michael’s mouth.

Maybe kissing the hell out of Alex isn’t the right way to say ‘you’re welcome’, but it is the choice that Michael makes, as ill-advised as it might be. He backs him right up against the door, crowding his space as he tangles his hands in Alex’s hair, kissing him like he doesn’t plan to breathe again, like his only plan is to kiss Alex.

At least, that’s his plan until he hears a textbook thump to the ground, falling out of Alex’s bag.

Shit.

“We can’t,” Michael croaks out, the sense to say that taking every single ounce of his self-restraint. “If anyone finds out, we’d get in trouble, you could lose your scholarship, I could lose my job…” It’s telling how good the kiss had been, because Michael’s hands are still fumbling and holding tight to Alex’s shirt.

Still, the regret is clear in the way Alex’s lips curve downwards in the beginnings of a beautiful frown. “I know.”

Michael finally manages to let go, a soft sound torn from him when he does.

“Good luck on your project,” he offers, reaching to the side of Alex to open the door, using the threat of someone seeing as a preventative measure before they do anything else really stupid.

Alex bends to pick up his textbook, sliding it into his bag. “With the help you gave me, I don’t need luck. It’ll be amazing.”

Then he’s gone and Michael can breathe again.

Holy shit, he thinks. What did he just nearly do?

He didn’t, though. He’s not going to get fired and though he doubts he’ll ever sleep soundly again until he gets to kiss Alex Manes again, his job is safe, and he didn’t do something very, very stupid. It’s a shame his genius brain is currently lamenting that fact.

*

It’s a few weeks later, when midterms have been graded and returned to the students that he bumps into Alex again at a coffee shop. When his eyes slide over him, all he remembers is what it’d felt like to kiss Alex against his office door. Still, he marches right inside and tells himself that he’s a mature adult alien-human-something.

He can do this.

“Dr. Guerin,” Alex greets him. “It’s nice to see you again.”

“Yes, it is,” Michael agrees, feeling like the awkwardness of this conversation might actually kill him. He’s tapping his fingers rapidly on the counter as his eyes slide over Alex, looking at the leather jacket he’s wearing that fits him like a glove. “How’d your project go?”

“A+,” Alex brags. “Thanks to you,” he adds, stepping towards Michael like he’s about to do something to thank him.

Michael’s heart starts to pound in his chest and as much as he knows he shouldn’t encourage this, he wants it. He hasn’t wanted anyone for years, not since he and his last girlfriend broke up because their interests and lives went in separate directions, not to mention cities.

Considering how Michael had shown his appreciation for Alex’s gratitude last time, he can only imagine what’s going to happen.

”Let me pay for your coffee,” Alex says, throwing him off his expectation, “in thanks.”

Michael exhales the breath he’s been holding in, beaming as he nods. “Yeah, that’d be…”

”And then we can take a walk while you drink it?”

There’s that other shoe.

The thing is, Michael really likes spending time with Alex, so even though he’s going to have to fight not to reach over and touch Alex, even casually, he’s not about to say no. He takes the piping hot coffee without a sleeve and cups his palms around it, like the pain will be a deterrent. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

They walk in silence for the first few blocks, mostly because Michael has no idea what the hell to say. He can feel the warmth of Alex’s body beside him, and it’s driving him crazy, because he wants it underneath his hands again.

“It was nice,” Alex finally breaks the silence, “you, helping me with my project.”

Yeah, it was, but Michael can’t say that.

Instead, he goes for honest truth. “Look, I want this,” Michael says, wanting to be blunt, “but you’re my student. That ends in trouble for both of us and we know it. I don’t want to throw away what I’ve got going on here, and honestly, I don’t think you do either, so nothing can happen.”

“For now.” Alex sounds smug about it, too, like somehow he’s smarter than Michael for figuring it out. They’ve come to a stop near a small set of benches, where students are on blankets studying, playing frisbee, and they’re in such a public place that they can’t do anything.

It’s simultaneously the safest they can be, but also a kind of torture that’s up there with watching Max struggle to learn to play the guitar.

Sure, Alex won’t be in his class, but he’ll still be a student.

Honestly? Michael’s not sure he cares that much.

”I was thinking when the semester is over, I might take you out on a date. If you’re into dating Air Force Captains and you might be willing to try that sort of thing.”

”I could be exclusively into that,” Michael hears himself saying.

“So,” Alex says, coming to a stop a few feet in front of Michael. “End of the semester?”

“End of the semester,” Michael hears himself agreeing. Either this is the best decision he’s ever made or the worst, but he’s going to quickly find out.

*

The final is six days away and Michael is counting down the days.

Lectures have become a painful thing, because Alex has taken to practically fellating his pen as he takes notes, running his lips and tongue over it, which makes Michael use the podium as a protective instrument to hide behind. He’s a complete menace, but seeing as Michael doesn’t intend to get fired from his job for even a hint of impropriety, he is going to behave.

Apparently, Alex Manes did not make the same vow.

“Captain Manes, a word after class in my office?” Michael says, clipped, as the students depart.

He can hear some of the first years making idiotic comments on their way out, but Michael collects his books and heads to his office, prying off his glasses (which he doesn’t need, but it’s good to throw people off the scent of some of other-worldly habits, like perfect health).

Alex ambles into the office casually a few minutes later, looking innocent as all fuck and even whistling nonchalantly, like he thinks this is a joke.

“Alex,” Michael pleads, the moment he closes the doors to his office. “Are you actually trying to kill me?”

“Seriously? Because of that?” Alex asks, waving his pen around. His eyes are bright and he lets his gaze slide over Michael. “Dr. Guerin, when’s the last time you got laid?”

His cheeks go furiously red. “That is not the p…” He grimaces, breathing out slowly, a frustrated sound on his breath vibrating his lower lip. Two years, says his helpful brain, because he’s been so busy with work and so uninterested in the options that he’s taken a sex sabbatical. He leans over and forcibly yanks the pen out of Alex’s hands to point at him with it. “Stop it.”

Alex smirks at him.

“Six days,” is all Alex says, reaching over to slide his thumb over the arm of Michael’s glasses, the pad of his thumb continuing to trace over the shell of Michael’s earlobe. “I should go. I’ve got a final in Engineering Materials to study for. I really want to impress the professor.”

Then, he’s gone.

Fucking menace, thinks Michael, and locks the door so he can jerk off before his office hours resume.

Four days later, his last class looms larger than life. Considering what he knows waits for him at the end of this class and the final, it drags like it’s got ten parachutes hurtling behind it.  

Michael finishes teaching his last class, spending the last five minutes literally watching the clock. When it ticks to 4PM, he shouts that everyone should get the hell out. They’re not home free yet, though, as much as Michael desperately wishes they were.

He has to stop himself from floating all the objects in his apartment about three times, as he vibrates with tension, on the morning of the final.

Luckily, he doesn’t have to wait long.

Twenty minutes after the exam for his course is over and Michael has packed up to leave (after he’s rushed through grading Alex’s final, shoving it into his TA’s hands so no one can accuse him of impropriety when he starts dating his student), he heads homewards so he can wait for Alex’s call.

He doesn’t even make it to his truck, though.

“Dr. Guerin.”

Michael whips his head around to track the sound of Alex’s voice, finding him leaning up against a tree. He’s wearing that leather jacket of his and Michael has upgraded him mentally from snack to meal.

“Are you free?”

Michael grins as he changes course, grabs Alex by the lapels, and pins his back hard against the tree. He rocks his hips up against Alex’s denim-clad legs, pinning him there as he tangles his fingers into Alex’s hair, fingers flexing and cupping Alex’s neck, tipping his face to the side to breathe before starting to mark up Alex’s neck with bites and kisses and the slow path of his tongue in a way that he’s been thinking about doing for months.

It’s only the start of his fantasies, but Michael thinks he’s never been happier.

“Well?” Alex asks breathlessly, cupping Michael’s face with both hands like he’s trying to hold onto this ride for dear life. “Are you? Free?”

“Exclusively,” Michael promises, before he kisses Alex in public the way that he’s been thinking about for months.

#joanib #malex #malex au #air force captain manes #doctor professor alien guerin #college au #forbidden romance au #roswell new mexico #tumblr prompts

[that-one-crazy-metal-bitch]

Metal Astrology #1~Mayhem

Was I asked to do this? Nope! I was bored and I decided I'd make a post about the members of Mayhem's astrology. Obviously I'm not going to claim any of this is accurate, it's just a little bit of fun and nothing serious! If anyone wants me to do a band or a person or even themselves, I'm down with that, just send me a message.

In brief, this is how each aspect works:

The Sun is your 'core’. The Moon is your 'inner' self, your emotions, your values. Mercury is how you communicate and express yourself. Venus describes who you are in love and interpersonal relationships And Mars is your temper and sex drive-- although I'm not really going to be going into it here too much. 

So without further ado.....

Per Yngve "Dead" Ohlin.

January 16th, 1969.

Västerhaninge, Stockholm County, Sweden.

Sidenote: his was especially hard to do because he was born during a time when there was a lot of changes in the sky and I don't have the time of his birth so, I did it to the best of my ability.

Sun in Capricorn

Moon in Sagittarius

Mercury in Aquarius

Venus in Pisces

Mars in Scorpio.

Dead's sun is in Capricorn, which means at his most basic, he's an ambitious, intelligent and hard-working. People who have their suns in Capricorn tend to be very stubborn and hard on themselves (due to the fact that they're so hard-working and have such high standards). They can also be loners and can seem emotionally distant. They're firm about what they believe in and they don't half-ass anything. 

His moon means that emotionally speaking, he's likely to have an optimistic demeanor. Those with Sagittarius in their moons are naturally independent, passionate and love to learn. They make great teachers too and are always 'searching'. They tend to be concerned with philosophy, religion and are creative. His mercury is also a creative one, if not very peculiar. 

Mercury in Aquarius tends to have an... 'odd' way of expressing itself. They're intellectual but in an unconventional way. They're not necessarily loud or eccentric about it, in fact they can be rather distant and detached, they have an interesting and unique way of looking at things that can make it hard to relate to them. Despite that, they make very interesting friends and often have a subtle and witty sense of humor. Their humour is usually dry and sarcastic, so much so that it can be difficult to tell what's sarcasm and what isn't. 

His Venus is in Pisces, which lends to a dreamy yet moody aura. These types of people are often soft and want to be protected, even if they can't express it. They're imaginative folks with a tender heart. They're easily disappointed due to the fact...well, they live in a dream. They're not always the most realistic and because of that, they can be quite unreliable in love. 

And finally, his Mars is in Scorpio, which is an interesting placement if you asked me. These people love challenges and pushing their own limits. They're intense, curious and have incredible will-power. Despite their intense nature, they've got a good temper and usually remain pretty cool. They don't 'crack' easy which can make them seem secretive and guarded. 

Scorpio is generally the 'sexiest' zodiac sign and people with this placement can have a sort of intense and mysterious sex appeal. 

On the downside, even if their temper is rather good, they can be violent and sometimes take their pain out on others, emotional manipulation isn't impossible. But despite that, they also make incredibly loyal friends and, you know, generally aren't manipulative.

Øystein "Euronymous" Aarseth. 

March 22nd 1968. 

Egersund, Rogaland, Norway.

Sun in Aries

Moon in Capricorn

Mercury in Pisces

Venus in Pisces

Mars in Aries

Okay so I'm pretty sure nobody would be shocked to hear that Euro was an Aries. They're ambitious, curious, passionate and they have strong personalities. They get bored easily, so they're innovative but they also hate boredom so they're impulsive. They've got a charismatic nature and they tend to have a lot of friends. They can be self-centred and controlling though since they’re the ‘leaders’ of the Zodiac. 

Since his Moon is in Capricorn, he's likely to be rather stubborn and headstrong... yet practical. They have goals and they work towards those goals. He's not the most empathetic of sorts and people with this placement like everything to be direct. They usually surround themselves with those who agree with them because they can be argumentative at times. They have strong opinions and think they're always right.

I thought that Euro having a Mercury and Venus in Pisces was hilarious and out of place with the rest of the aspects. Since he and Dead share a Venus, it's safe to assume that I don't have to rewrite it, although a funny addition would be that those with their Venus in Pisces can not only be masochistic itself but have an attraction to those with masochistic tendencies. It tends to make them feel bigger and better to have something vulnerable at their whim. 

As for his Mercury, it's also sort of funny because those with their Mercury in Pisces will usually have something... uh... 'soft' about them. A soft smile, a soft laugh, voice. Even if they're not actually any of those things, they may look it. They're not intimidating-looking people... at all. They're similar to Mercury in Aquarius with the way they're also unique and intellectual but the big difference is that they are not as organized. In fact, they're very, very disorganized and despite their similarities, both signs tend not to get along well. Mercury in Pisces tends to be a lot more wishy-washy and it changes it's opinions rather quickly. Even though they're interesting, they can become annoying because not only are they moody but they're also not very realistic in their plans or expectations.

Euro's Mars is, one, unsurprising, two, depending on how you look at it... not necessarily so good. Essentially, people with these Mars' can be sort of like a giant flaming cactus, bumping into everybody. "Fuck you, get out of my way!!" Aries is at home in Mars, but it's probably not so good to have your Mars in a sign Mars rules over. How are you in terms of your aggressive? Oh, you're merely the most aggressive possible sign. Goody. That's not to say that he's an inherently bad person. It just means he's aggressive. Boy, is he ever fucking *aggressive*. At best, these people shine like the sun itself but at their worst, they can set fire to themselves and everything that they love. They're incredibly driven, passionate and impulsive and it can become destructive as they tend to believe the end justifies the means. They can be extremely quick tempered and aggressive but despite this, it never lasts long and they don't hold grudges. Despite all of the aggressiveness of these people, they’re are the kind of people who achieve great things. They're the sort who keep going even if it's uncomfortable, they'll do the things no one else is willing to do to get to their goals. They're fiercely loyal to their friends and incredibly fun people to around.

Jørn "Necrobutcher" Stubberud. 

April 13 1968. 

Ski, Akershus County, Norway.

Sun in Aries

Moon in Libra

Mercury in Aries

Venus in Aries

Mars in Taurus.

Necro and Euro share a sun so I think you already have a fair idea of what an Aries is like already. Despite that, the other positions make him a completely different type of person. 

His Moon sign softens his emotional nature. People with their moons in Libras are inherently quite friendly, they love partnership and they hold those close to them very dear. They're giving, patient and forgiving. They're good peace-keepers and mediators because they're driven by a need for calm and security. However if it's just not working out, they can quickly become very irritated. All of it is really fine and dandy but it can cause conflicts because their willingness to give everyone a fair shot can make them seem fake and the way they're seemingly too-good at expressing themselves can make them seem disingenuous and insincere. Sometimes they don't understand that everything doesn't have to be pretty and clean and that emotions can be dirty, messy and chaotic.

Both of his Venus and Mercury are in Aries which does kind of contradict everything above (But if you thought any of this was fool proof then that was on you. This isn't Myers-Briggs, this is literally just astrology) if his Mercury is in Aries then he's might curse a lot, he might have a blunt and harsh way of speaking. Despite that, Mercury in Aries are passionate speakers and they're good speakers at that. They're the kind of person who can make you feel things and they don't bullshit. They're dynamic, honest and their enthusiasm is ddictive. They have a good sense of humour and they love to laugh. On the downside, they can be pretty defensive because they tend to be very sure of themselves. His Venus adds to that effect, except he's ALSO bored easily. These people like the chase, they like to tease people and play games. They like physical contact, wrestling, play-fighting, tickling, the like (TMI: they're also extremely sexual). They're ambitious and impulsive and they're naturally curious. They're not the most graceful with their emotions and they usually do shit big. Subtlety isn't their strong suit and that can make them seem almost a little arrogant and self-centered. They're not the type to know when it's time to stop.

And finally... his Mars is in Taurus! What's a good and bad placement is generally very subjective but I'd consider this to be pretty good. Mars in Taurus is steady, goal oriented and easy going. They tend to have a laid-back yet manly/womanly sort of sex appeal. They know how to pick their fights and generally have a good temper...until you piss them off, that is. Taurus has a reputation for the most stubborn sign so people with this placement can be unforgiving, possessive and overprotective. They don't trust easily and if you piss them off, it can take a long time before they finally let go of it-- if ever. They also dislike criticism and react poorly to it so with them it's "my way or the highway.”

Jan Axel "Hellhammer" Blomberg. 

August 2nd 1969. 

Trysil, Hedmark County, Norway.

Sun in Leo

Moon in Aries

Mercury in Capricorn

Venus in Gemini

Mars in Sagittarius

Simply put, Leos are... hot. They're ruled by the sun, they're quite literally 'hot'. They tend to be good looking because they're self-obsessed and they tend to be well-liked because they're simultaneously warm, generous and kind. They're dynamic and big yet languid and lazy. There's something special about them just by the way they hold themselves. They're silly, playful and they hate being ignored. 

His Moon is in Aries, which gives him an assertive and independent streak. Usually very live-in-the-moment, do-it-now-remember-it-later. Those with a Moon in Aries can be temperamental, they're not the most sensitive or patient of folk, in fact, they can seem pretty selfish and, honestly, do put themselves first more often than not. Despite it, there's something playful and teasing about them. They're very honest people and they typically mean well.

Hellhammer's Mercury is in Capricorn. These people tend to have a really blunt and simple way of speaking. They can either be really good at communicating or not at all. They're not the most philosophical people on this planet, they're more of the 'practical' sort. They do what needs to be done and they don't have patience for people who waste time. They make careful decisions and they think before they speak. They usually focus on one thing at a time.

On the other hand... his Venus is in Gemini! Having Gemini anywhere can pretty much ensure that you like words. People with a Venus in Gemini are fun, smart and witty. But they're pretty much impossible to tie down and crave new experiences. They're pretty playful but maybe a little too light-hearted. They're not the most serious people to have around, they are however, a good conversation partner and are typically charming and flirty.

Mars in Sagittarius are... a mix of things. On one hand they're pretty out-there but on the other they don't really like conflict. They don't have a lot of patience to deal with it. They've generally got a good temper, they're playful and fun-loving but shit can get serious when you don't agree with them. They somehow don't give a fuck yet give all the fucks at the same time. They do good with exercise because they're quite restless and they like to have several things going on at the same time!

Welp, that’s it! I cant reiterate enough that this shit it just for fun and not to be taken seriously. Hopefully this wasn’t too long...

#mayhem #black metal #heavy metal #astrology #dead #Euronymous #zodiac #Per Yngve Ohlin #Still bad at tagging

[thegamedevquest]

How to make a game on your own when you're just a programmer ?

Hey guys

Last time, i introduced you to the goals of what will keep me busy for the next 3 months. To make it happen, i feel the most important thing is to be aware of your strength and weaknesses, so you don't put yourself in a position where you just can't deliver. Fortunately, i've been working for quite a while now and if i still have plenty to learn, i at least know my skills and inclinations well enough, and i can put them at the foundation of my work, obviously getting out of my comfort zone from time to time because i want to learn some new things as well :)

So when it comes to me, these are my strengths:

- I'm very experienced with programming, and i know C# very well after having used it for more than 10 years; - Although i'm by no means an artist, i know how to use Blender to model and animate stuff. 3D modeling has an almost technical/engineering kind of feel which lets you (or at least me) create great stuff even though you know nothing about art. I can totally recommend Blender Guru tutorials. - I've been a hobbyist user of Unity for years now, so i know the engine pretty well. It has evolved a lot as time goes, and some new things are totally unknown to me (such as DOTS or the HDRP), but i am very confident with using the core features.

Now about my weaknesses or things i have to improve on:

- I have really low skill at 2D art. I have actually learnt to draw during the (2020, covid) lockdown, but i'm nowhere near confident enough to use assets i would create in a game. I have never animated 2D things as well, and i really feel the workflow is too painfully slow for the 1 month constraint. Want to update the character ? Please redraw every frame of your animation... I know there are some skeletal animation tools for 2D as well, but i really don't like the way animations look in the end using these techniques. - I'm reallyyyyyyy bad at texturing models. I just hate the UV unwrapping part, and every texture i ever tried to make ended up horrible. Some tools seem great (such as Substance painter) and i would really like to delve into them in the future, but that doesn't look like something i could do in a reasonable timeframe. - Audio is absolutely remote to me. I just know how to use AudioSources in Unity (and probably not in the best way), and i have basic editing skills in Audacity. When you want to design your own sounds, it requires hardware and imagination and other things that i don't have (See this or this for examples), so although it seems like a lot of fun, i don't think i'll spend much time on audio design in my projects. - Not really a weakness on my end but more a weakness of the objectives i set myself up to: 1 month is very short, so i'll have to both have great commitment and make sacrifices to avoid being too ambitious.

I would like to mention something else, which is neither a strength nor a weakness but it seems relevant. I know game design because i've played and analysed (more or less deeply) my whole life, and i've read a few books about game design and theory of fun. I know how to make a game feel good or fun, but i have never had a greatly original idea, i just inspire from the games i play and love. Even level design is hard for me, because i quickly run out of ideas on how to make the game features or gameplay elements shine, i usually get bored after a few levels because i feel like i'm repeating myself. I really admire people like Lucas Pope, Notch or the FTL/Into the Breach team, because their ideas really push the industry forward.

Taking all this into consideration, the games i'll make in the next few weeks will probably respect the following "rules":

- There won't be any groundbreaking ideas or never-seen before gameplay mechanics, but i can do the execution as best as i can. My games will be short so that i don't run out of ideas regarding level design. - They can be a little complex technically, because i am confident that i can find a solution to (almost) any programming problem - I won't be able to feature complex 3D stuff such as animated living creatures because i can't do that with a good enough fidelity. I can however model and animate machines, and i can also find ways to avoid having to rely on high fidelity. - I can model stuff, but i can't texture. Basically it means i'll have to use styles such as textureless or low-poly. Plus i really like this art style, and with a few post processing i think it looks amazing. - I can't do proper 2D art. - I won't design audio, so i'll have to rely on external SFX and music assets. Fortunately i had purchased some great SFX and music packages in the past during a Humble Bundle offer, and i'll probably be using freesound.org and newsground.com as well. As i doubt i'll find every sound i need that perfectly fit, i'll probably be learning a little bit more of Audacity along the way but that's something i did want to to do anyway. - I can only do a few features per game if i want them to be polished. Remember, the main objective is to use these games to showcase proper skills, and i thing that making prototypes of plenty of "kind of working but not really" features is not a good way to prove that you know how to make games. Less is more and quality over quantity are my mottos :)

Let me give some examples based on the first game i'll be doing (OK, i've written this article a bit late, so it's already done and i'll be able to illustrate). Remember, it's a 2D platformer with emphasis on fluidity of controls and animations.

I've chosen an art style that : - can be done without much skill in 2d art. Colors for instance are hard, so i avoided them, but you can add depth through greyscales and parallax effects. - is really easy to work with, and requires very little work when designing the levels. Basically just drag and dropping and putting on the correct layer. All the level geometry are just stretched black sprites. I've done a few props in a few minutes each to populate the levels. - lighting has no effect on so i can use any asset anywhere in the game without it feeling out of place. - "hides" behind big pixels, most of my the tiny details showing my inability to model very accurate stuff, or making animations that seem really natural (because i feel that good animations are really all about the tiny details).

It's a 2D game using 3D models to make animations more fluid and iteration much faster. The next article will actually focus on that because i really enjoyed this approach.

At first I had in mind a pretty good moveset, with things such as sliding, rolling, grabbing weapons and melee and ranged combat, using ladders and poles and stairs, parkour animations for vaulting over small obstacles automatically to make the general feel more interesting... I cut all that and in the end the character is just running, jumping, climbing.

Until next time, take care!