#also my grandparents are getting lost on the way to pick me so I'm just

[rarestdoge]

I have a love-hate relationship with drawing on notebook paper punts him

#I say I wanna punt Cam and throw him around all the time but honestly he could kill me in a millisecond 😭 #I'd be honored tbh #also my grandparents are getting lost on the way to pick me so I'm just #standing here on campus wearing a hoodie in the heat help me #let me out let me out #/ #cameron calvin #doodles #charles calvin #thsc #thsc oc #oc #henry stickmin #the henry stickmin collection

[evansbby]

I miss Gaza. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss my home. I miss the walks on the beach with my cousins. I miss the corner shops where everything was cheap. I miss going to the mosque with my friends and family. I miss going to the park with my brothers. I miss my school. I miss my kitten Kiki. I miss the summers spent at my grandparents. I miss walking to school with my brothers and talking about what we're going to do afterwards. I miss going to the library every day and constantly reading new books. I miss picking out new dresses at the store. I miss riding my bike with my cousins. I miss my neighbor Mohamed who I would always play chess with. I miss Palestine, my home.

My world turned upside down when my parents told me we were moving, seeing them hastily pack up everything. I was eleven years old, not knowing why we had to leave our home. I remember hearing my mom cry in the other room on the phone with my aunt. I remember my dad driving in a hurry. Nobody wanted to tell me what was happening, but deep down I knew. And then we were in Egypt, my parents were scared that we'd get sent back, if it wasn't for my dad's connections I think we'd be dead by now.

Next thing I know we're on a flight to, in my mom's words, "the big tower clock country" (we were going to London in). Seeing my uncle waiting for us at the airport and talking to me about how much fun it is here and how I'd make lots of friends. All I could think about if there was a chance that l'd ever be able to go back home. Eleven years later and I still haven't been able to go back home. I had to learn to live with the racism, the Islamophobia, the zionists, the constant hate against my people. I had to learn to cope with the dead of my family members, my friends, my neighbor. Luckily some of my close family could also leave, but then a lot could not and I'm honestly not sure how many are still alive.

I'm incredibly grateful and lucky that I was able to get to a safe country, yet I still miss everything back home. I'm so incredibly thankful to everyone who attended the march for Palestine in London and overall just in any city over the world. Hurts my heart seeing Noah Schnapp holding stickers that says 'zionism is sexy' while Bella Hadid got death threats because she speaks up about Palestine. My point in sharing my story is to remind people that the Palestinians you hear about in the media getting murdered, ALL had lives, they all had dreams, they all had friends and families, they all had their whole world taken from them. They are innocent human beings.

I still hold out hope that one day, I'll be able to take my kids to see the Gaza that I saw. 🇵🇸🩷

I’m so sorry 💜 I know nothing that I say could even comfort you at all. But thank you for choosing to share this with me, I can feel the pain in your words. The pain of being forced to leave your home and being so young that you don’t even understand why. And being so scared and confused… my heart truly goes out to you and the millions of others in Gaza who have been displaced, or lost their homes, lost the land they grew up on, lost their lives or the lives of their loved ones. It’s an actual modern day horror, what we are witnessing.

This is real, individual people we are talking about. As you said, they all had lives, all had dreams, all had hobbies and interests the same as we do. And it’s crazy the luxury we have, us who have never known the struggle or heartbreak of being displaced. Of experiencing a literal genocide. I am so privileged to be able to sit comfortably in my bedroom knowing that no one could just come and claim it as theirs. That no fuckass rich white bitch from Brooklyn New York could just shack up in my house and call it HER land. (Sorry for my language, it just makes me so angry. The way some people are reacting across the world makes me so angry… and I know it makes you ever angrier and more upset.)

My heart goes out to you and I pray to Allah that you will one day return to a free Palestine. To a free Gaza and your people can rebuild what was so cruelly taken from them. The same people who were so cruelly dehumanised by the Zionists and their religious ethnostate of “Isr*el.” I have no sympathy for the Zionists or their supporters. I have no respect for privileged celebrities like Noah Schnapp and others like that woman from the big bang theory, who can sit so comfortably in their mansions and feel like they know what is going on and try to persuade others to support their Zionistic views. When there are brave Palestinian children, women, men, babies, all innocent, all dying and they think the world has turned their back on them. All they have now is their faith.

I’m speaking to you straight from my heart, I know I don’t know you. But what you’ve said has touched me so much and I wish I could do more. I’m happy that you were able to escape and your immediate family is safe, I’m happy your father had the connections he did. I mourn the loss of your homeland, but I’m praying for you and all your people. And I will not forgive or forget what every single Zionist (celebrity or every day person) has said, how they have acted, what they have chosen to support. Years from now they will say they were brainwashed, misguided, they’ll sweep it under the rug and they’ll be forgiven but I will not forgive them.

There is hope in my heart seeing how many people (1mill+) that showed up every Saturday to protest in London, and all over the world in support of Palestine. The strongest thing in this world is hope… and faith. In my opinion. And it hurts, because reading your vivid memories, and how well you remember your home… But I know it won’t be for nothing. Idc if this sounds sappy but I’ll hope and pray for a free Palestine, and for you to go home one day.

#I’m honestly so emotional #I’m so priveleged #I moved to the uk ten years ago so around the same time as you give or take a year #difference is I had a choice and can go back whenever I want…. which is the biggest privilege in the world #it’s awful how cruel this world is #how the us and uk keep isr*el afloat to ensure their own interests in the Middle East #and in doing so cause a mass genocide #and they’d dehumanised the Arab people to such an extent that the people in the west do not care how many of them are dying #this is abhorrent #inexcusable #and it will never be forgotten what they did #anon

[stargazer-sims]

Victor + Crocodile + Hamster + Smiling

Here's another one @dandylion240. I didn't realize how many there were. I'm still working my way through them.

I'm putting this one under a cut because it has a content warning

__________

Not everything has to have meaning. Sometimes a smiling crocodile figurine is just a smiling crocodile figurine. Sometimes a plush hamster is just a plush hamster.

If nursing has taught Victor anything, it's that death is a part of the cycle of life. Everyone dies eventually, whether by natural means, by somebody else's hand or by their own. He's learned to accept death, and not to tear himself apart inside, wondering if he could've done anything differently or fruitlessly wishing for things to go back to the way they'd been.

He's also come to realize sentimentality is often misguided, that too much emphasis gets placed on the wrong things. He's seen people cry over clothing, stuffed animals, jewellery or locks of hair, apparently convinced the memory of their loved one resides in that object. As much as he sometimes wants to, he can't tell them that the object is meaningless. They need to learn that on their own, as he did.

He picks up the crocodile and puts it into the plastic bag which the family will collect later. The crocodile is followed by the hamster, the baseball cap, the handful of toy cars. He doesn't linger over any of them like he would have done at the beginning of his career.

It's not that he's lost his empathy. He can still be sad, but now it's sadness in the removed, intellectual sense; the passing sadness one feels when hearing about a plane crash or a natural disaster on the news. He won't cry for this child. Now, he understands what his nursing school instructors meant by professional detachment, and it's served him well. Because of it, he can still go home to his family and have enough emotional energy left to love and care for them.

No, the echo of the lost boy isn't in the smiling crocodile any more than the echo of Victor is in any object he values. He wouldn't want Yuri and Caroline to hold onto old things of his, imagining they would somehow — as the cliché goes — keep part of him alive, just as he wouldn't want to hold onto things of theirs. That, he is certain, would ensure the wounds would never close, and he should know. He held on to that old family photograph long enough, tormenting himself with the belief that he would forget his father and sister if he ever stopped looking at it.

But, he hadn't forgotten.

Letting the picture go was freeing. Releasing it from the burden of meaning he'd arbitrarily assigned to it did not erase his memories. If anything, it strengthened them. It allowed him to give up his grief and guilt, to focus on the good things, and to let himself begin to heal at last.

He leaves the room and drops the bag on the desk at the nurses' station. He hopes the boy’s family won't hold onto the things for too long.

This isn't his last task of the shift, so he consults the patient notes and moves on.

As he works, he thinks about his own family. Even when he's apart from them, his husband and daughter are always with him in his mind. His mother, stepfather and everyone else he loves are there as well. Even his father, sister and paternal grandparents, long departed, will never truly leave him. They will always be there, intricately and inextricably woven into the fabric of his life.

That's where the meaning is, he decides. Photographs, plush animals, grinning crocodile figurines... anything physical can be lost or destroyed, but experiences cannot.

Don't try to remember me by the pictures I leave behind, his Grandma Lydia, a gifted artist, had written during her last days. Remember me by the smile my memory paints in your heart.

#sapphire answers #writing #tw death #tw death mention #victor nelson #stargazersims

[lgcxsarang]

LGCUPDATE:004

how do you choose who you spend your time with?

i think it could be a combination of factor's…a-and what needs i have in life at the time? by default being a trainee…that's one why i've chosen who i spend my time with. or my classmates in school because we share the same major. in a why, i've decided to be around people who have the same path in mind and goals as me. a choice i didn't really think about. outside of that i'd say, i'd chose based on what interest we have with each other, how the the people i'm around make me feel. i have a friend from high-school i would spend time with because we both enjoyed reading manga. so it was fun to shop with her or go to events or just talk about what we were reading. or some friends i made who were nice people, they had an understanding of me and accepted my personality so it'd only be natural that i would want to spend time with them right?

if you were in desperate need, who would you turn to?

i'd turn to my friend jeonghyun, he's a fellow trainee at the company. we've been friends since…middle school? high school maybe? he's been my friend since i came to seoul. i'm a shy person and i tend to keep to myself, along with a few others he welcomed me warmly into the school. i had some struggles during that time…and jeonghyun stood up for me a lot. he knows about my home life so it's pretty great that we both got accepted into legacy. when it comes to training, he's also helped me out here as well even if were on different paths. i think if i got into trouble or something happened to me…he's a dependable person that i could trust.

what’s your idea of romance?

this one is hard…because i think it's an idea that's still developing. growing up…or when i was little. i assumed it would be something that makes your heart beat fast…i guess it still is. if we only talked about the good parts, it's being able to see the person you treasure's smile. being excited and wanting to be around them…missing them when they're not around. it's sweet and lovely. but over the years…i've learned that it's something that takes work. it's something you have to keep up and it's not always certain. right now, i'd like to think that my heart think's it's something that should be sweet and lovely and but my head knows that it isn't that easy.

have you ever felt truly loved by someone else?

yes, my auntie. as well as my extended family but mostly my aunts. honestly, it's hard to pick between her and my grandparent's but…i'm going to go with my aunt. when i came into her home…into her family really, she wrapped her arms around me. i tried not to take up too much of her time or her attention, i was fine with what she was able to give but in the end, i never really had to worry. there were little things she did, little things i had missed out on. i always knew there was a gap in my life, something that was missing but it wasn't until i moved in her that i really realized how large that gap was.

have you ever lost anyone important to you?

yes but not because they passed away or anything like that. simply because we aren't in much contact now. it feel's like i've lost someone, lost two of them actually. i lost both of my parents in a way. they send money sometimes, i'll see them a few times a year but we aren't close. we've never been close. they both have new families now, new lives it seems like. i can't pin-point when everything turned out like this because it's always been this way. there are times when i get sad, when i think about calling them but the gulf is so big now…it's awkward. i know they're happy, i would like to think they love me in some way but…i don't really have them in my life.

#;; hc #lgc:cupdate004

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

EM!!!! THIS CHAPTER WAS INSANE!!! First of all I love love love the babies names, Aelys is gonna be an absolute little terror and I’m so here for it and daemon already being jealous of Rhaenar had me screaming like mr man you’re gonna have to get used to sharing babey 🫣🫣🫣 ALSO can I ask how did you decide on the babies name, is there some like ~deeper~ meaning behind babey and daemon choosing them? Crying I can literally see the two of them debating over names 🥹

ALSO ALSO I really super appreciate how much dedication you put into not just this chapter but all of your writing. The level of detail and research for the birth is so welcomed it just adds a whole new depth to your writing and it’s so incredible! Like I had no idea you can freaking turn the baby around while it’s still inside??? Props to babey for not passing out from the pain cause wtf OH AND DAEMONS INTERNAL STRUGGLE LIKE I KNOW SHE NEEDS TO DO THIS SO SHE DOESN’T DIE BUT ALSO SHE MIGHT DIE EVERYONE FUCK OFF OUT OF HERE — I feel you my man, but all this tension finally forcing him to say ‘I love you’ had me tearing up for real it was so beautifully written and him being all strict like we’re not fucking around now this is serious and encouraging babey in high valyrian thank you supportive king cause I feel without it she taken a rest for a little too long ☹️ my poor heart when they’re finally all sitting in the bed in their little family I know they’re going to be the best parentssss

Omg I’d love to hear the dragonkeepers like reporting that athfiezar went on like a rampage of dragonstone, squaring up to caraxes 💀 ooooo I cant wait for both dragons to meet the babies 😩

AND ALSOOO RHAENYRA STORMING IN HALFWAY THROUGH LIKE WTF GUYS IM LAUGHING like her and ulla would be a child birthing dream team all the maesters would be unemployed she’s gonna be the best auntie and I hope nobody tells Vizzy T like sorry pal you lost grandparent privileges when you brushed off babeys assassination attempt 😚

Anyways!!! Thank you so much for a brilliant chapter it feels like such a good way to round up this ~segment~ of babey and daemons story and I cannot wait to see what you write next!! Take care and have lots of rest you deserve it!! 💓

AAAAAAH, thank you so much!

I'm so glad you like the babies' names, I've had them picked out since September last year lol! Aelys is the personification of that picture of the kid smirking at the camera while the house burns in the background. She's gon' make them ALL SUFFER (not always, just, you know - Daddy Daemon gon' be yelling, his poor old peepaw heart). And Daemon can't help but be completely irrational when it comes to his Babey!

I found a Reddit post that compiles all the possible combinations of Valyrian names based on existing characters' names. In terms of behind-the-scenes, I wanted to make sure that the kids have names that no other characters have had or will have in the universe; save me the headache of having to clarify which damn person I'm referring to each time (like, there are 3 Aegons to refer to already by the time of the Dance, aaaaah). In the actual fic - and I think I'm planning to explain this in the next (and final) chapter of this instalment - Babey wanted her children to have names that are their own, free of the weight of whomever had the name first. For example, Aegon II is continually mocked by Daemon as falling short of his namesake, and I wonder if the disdain would be as prevalent if not for this. And if the kid is named Baelon or Alyssa, they'd always be carrying around the ghost of their grandparents/great-grandparents (ew) and, in the name Baelon's case, the ghost of Viserys's day-old son. The kids have new names that don't bear the burden of destiny or some past calling. (I mentioned 'Aelys' back in Chapter 4, I think? So I headcanon that they each had a boy and girl name picked out and agreed that they'd get to name a kid each, so Daemon named Aelys and Babey named Rhaenar [which in itself is kinda an homage to her sister]).

I'm sighing with relief that the research seems to have paid off! I swear I put more effort into this thing than I did with any of my uni assignments, but I had to give myself a crash course in breech births and labour with multiples so that I wasn't blurting utter shit onto the screen, haha. Daemon freaking out is just constant - he's one of them nervous little yappy angry dogs that's just CONSTANTLY shaking with anxiety, but is also a huge, huge asshole. Picture teeth bared, trembling, always ready to nip on some heels. Daemon. Tho for real, I guess he was a good hubby this chapter lol; who knew he could be encouraging? AND THE LOVE WORD WAS SAAAAAID! This was also my plan from the beginning, so it's nice to finally see it come to fruition.

I miiiiight have something dragon-related in the last chapter of this instalment? Lol, not started even planning it yet, because this one was a fucking slog and a half and I want a couple days to just stare blankly and tell myself the nerve-wracking part is done. But yeh, it's in the plan. Rhaenyra made it unintentionally hilarious, but I feel like I needed it to cut some of the angst and make the shift to the second birth a little less fraught. Rhaenyra for Queen, Ūlla for Hand (or vice-versa, they can take shifts)!

Thank you so, so much for reading and leaving such a damn nice ask for me! I teared up a little cuz I'm on my period and also am very very cry-ey as a general rule. I have PLANS for this universe, so I'm so excited to hear you'll be coming along for the ride, haha! I love ya, I'm going out tomorrow and buying myself something nice as a reward for yeeting 9500 words out lololololol (also because I just got paaaaaid)!

#fanfiction comments

[beaversatemygrandma]

I just need to throw something in the void because i have No Idea how to feel about this.

So, if you've seen these void posts, then you know that my mom has absolutely lost it and is selling her house and randomly buying one in a totally different state. The news came to me randomly. She was just "I'm heading up to TN and looking out houses, might buy and sell my house." And I'm just caught incredibly off guard because there was zero forewarning. Anyways, after that whole phone call where i was honestly very shocked and very scared, and having her basically say that I'm moving in with her without really asking what i wanted. And also disregarding my sister who will be left in FL ALONE at college (like what the fuck). Anyways, I told her to CALL ME when she found a house or was on her way back home.

She didn't. For some reason she expects me to call her and then gets mad that i don't call her.

So, i get a notif from facebook saying my mom posted. Apparently she sold her house today for her original lowballing price. Which is first, how you get it to sell immediately to FLIPPERS and airbnb people. Both me and my dad told her to go with like $400k or so which she COULD GET and then get them to talk her down because she was just "gonna sell for 300k" which WHY? You could get half a mil for your house if you wanted to right now. It's near water. Prime location. By a fire station. It's worth MORE. You remodeled the back half. It's worth MORE. It sold at the FIRST showing. For so much less than it was worth. My dad has already commented there that he was telling her to ask for more. Her house is worth MORE. But she's just "You don't know shit. don't tell me what to do." So, I'm assuming, because she Didn't Fucking Call Me, that she bought a house. Like thanks. If you're expecting me to move in with you, communicate?? Tell me about the house?? Tell me what you're doing??

Either way, I've come up with a totally different plan because i was literally just using her as a landing pad to get back to my hometown. I wasn't specifically wanting to move back in with her. I just wanted to GO HOME. New place in TN isn't HOME. THAT house you sold for shit, is HOME. SO. The long-distance bf. He's getting an apartment cleaned out. It's attached to his mom's place and she's only going to charge us like 100-200 a month. It's just a small on bedroom place above the car port. It's spacious for what it is, it just needs MAJOR cleaning because his shit sister left beyond a simple mess. Complete with food trash and dog shit and furniture. This morning he'd been focusing on cleaning the fridge out. Which yeah, she left A LOT in. Like tf. She left something atrocious. Like it's not just a couple days' work. It's a couple weeks. There's even a door that has to be replaced because she took the bedroom and CUT THE DOOR IN HALF and used it specifically for her young daughter. Then proceeded to board up the porch and use that as her bedroom. Which they're just filling with all her shit and locking off from the apartment, because apparently she's got sticky fingers and they don't want her in the apartment stealing our shit when she picks up hers. So, they're opening up the side/back door to use as the main door. Because yeah, that "porch" is a mess and it's barely got a path to get in through anymore.

So yeah, moving in with him. Honestly, it feels like a good option. I know we get along well and he's a lot better with communication than other people I've dealt with, so if we hit any bumps suddenly with cohabitation together, I'm sure we can figure it out fine. And with something that has happened with him (some huge lego set that he was promised after getting a job by his grandparents), I've learned how to get him to leave me alone for hours on end if I need that. Like, I know i can definitely just ask if he hangs out in the bedroom and me living room or vice versa for a bit if we need space, but you know. If it comes to it, i at least have that knowledge. But it seems like a nice place. If we need help, his family is literally on the other side of the wall. There's goats, dogs, and cats on the property. It's like ten minutes out of town in the woods, so it's quiet. And honestly, I've been wanting to have him around like really bad for a good long while now. The plan if my mom hadn't moved, would be staying there and doing the test to see if we could live together by basically spending a couple days together, so we're skipping the testing period. But at least that means i won't have to move my stuff twice, just skipping the middleman and bringing it all there. But my mom is already in her process. So, I'm just going to go straight there once I can. He's already offered to pay the price of getting me there which helps immensely because the only reason I'm not in that town yet is because we haven't had the money. Quite literally, as soon as the repairs on my car are done and he's got the place cleared out, then we're good to go.

I should probably tell my dad he offered to pay that.

ANYWAYS. I should call my mom at some point and tell her my plan because I don't want to go with her and basically get trapped by her again. Ntm because she still also hasn't cut off her nazi ex husband. I basically explained that to my dad and he was just nodding and agreeing. Like he understands exactly why I wouldn't want to just up and move in with her alone.

I should also call my sister and get her that remote job referral. And tell her that she won't be alone in the state and we'd have a couch for her to crash on if she needs a place to stay over school breaks.

I do want to move in with this guy. Really do. But WHY can't my mom return her expectations for me and CALL?? I wanted updates. I told her to give me updates. She did not. I came up with another plan instead of just having the "I'll stay with her for a year or two and then eventually we'll get together." No no no. I'm going right to him. Fuck staying with my mom and getting trapped under her control again.

#taks speaks #VERY frustrated with my mom right now #she gets mad that i don't call her and she won't do something as simple as CALL ME when i ask her to #I've got someone else and a backup plan so fuck all that #done dealing with her randomly deciding to just up and leave #if she wants to leave and leave behind her other child in the hellscape that is FL then she doesn't get me either #we're in this together and I'm getting a place where she's got a landing pad to stay if things go wrong at college

[wenevergotusedtoegypt]

Hello and a bit belated l'shana tovah & meaningful holy days, no need to answer this ask if you aren't feeling it (hope your little ones are well :))): You had mentioned arguing with your dad about your respective Judaism; I've been putting off talking to my parents (esp my mum) about how I'm thinking of reconnecting with Judaism myself. I don't know how to broach the topic when my mother was raised more conservative/frummy (and felt very hurt and alienated from it, she is now Quaker as a result and I was mostly raised that way with nods to Jewish faith) without us not seeing eye to eye. I've always felt like I should consider 'returning' as it were, but I mostly know American reform Jews who I'm not sure understand my mother's issues growing up in post-war europe. I just wondered if maybe you had any advice/thoughts on how to approach a parent with religious differences? Thanks so much for your time & i love following your blog. I don't know too much yiddish and hebrew terms but I am trying to learn so seeing them in context is wonderful.

While it might seem a bit similar on the surface, I actually think your situation with your mother is significantly different than mine with my father, and would need to be approached differently.

Let me explain with an example. When I was in college and fairly newly frum, my non-Jewish maternal grandmother passed away. The memorial service was held in the chapel of my grandparents' Presbyterian-affiliated nursing home. I was able to enter the building (which was not a church building as a whole), but not the chapel itself, and I remained outside of it during the service. My dad was furious. He felt like I wasn't supporting my mom, and moreover, he didn't understand why I wouldn't go in. He viewed himself as a very religious person, and he had no issue going in. He didn't say it and may not have consciously thought it, but I do believe that he also felt his identity threatened by our conflicting views - by saying I wasn't able to go inside for religious reasons, I was stating that I believed a religious Jew could not go inside, which meant I was saying he was doing something wrong/was not that religious/what have you. (I was not, in fact, making any comment on his actions from my perspective; it wasn't about him). (For the record my mom wasn't offended at all that I didn't go in, even if she didn't totally get it, because it wasn't a threat to her identity.)

Let's say that you found yourself in a similar situation with your mom - you wouldn't go into a church due to religious conviction as a Jew. Well, that's not a threat to her identity. She doesn't (at least not religiously, it seems like maybe she still feels a slight cultural connection) view herself as Jewish at this point, she's a Quaker. So her reaction isn't going to be, "How dare you suggest that I'm not a religious Jew if I'm willing to go into that church?!" Rather, it's probably going to be something more along the lines of, "Oh no, I don't want my child getting into that stuff that I found so hurtful and alienating, they're going to end up getting hurt or committing harm or both!" Whereas my mission with my dad was to help him see that nothing I was doing was a commentary on him or his religious practice - it was all about me and mine - your mission with your mom would be to demonstrate that you're still you no matter what religious practices you pick up, you're going into reconnecting with Judaism with a level head, and you're not going to get lost in it all.

Ironically, this is actually a bit more similar to issues I had to address with my mom in the beginning, because she has a sister and brother-in-law who were in a cult in I believe the 1980s, pretty much completely cut off contact with their families as a result (they didn't even notify them when their kids were born), and only snapped out of it and came back to themselves when someone they knew died due to untreated diabetes that was supposedly going to be prayed away. For her, my becoming a chasidic Jew was an immediate flashback to that time. I had to be very deliberate in making sure I showed her that I wasn't going anywhere - that becoming frum didn't mean abandoning my family, that I was still making sane and safe decisions (even if she didn't necessarily understand them), that I was still the same me. If your mother has trauma from her experiences with religious Judaism, she's going to worry about you getting into it. So you have to show her that you're going to be ok (and retain the presence of mind to take care of yourself should you in fact find yourself in an unhealthy situation like she fears).

[lifeafterthelayoff]

Part II: Day 8

Puzzles as a hobby, puzzles as a way of being.

When I was a kid, puzzles were a one-time thing. We'd put one together around New Year's. They were a mainstay in my retired grandparents' home. I have some fond memories of finding a single piece that fit. At age 6 or 7, it was a big deal.

I had one of Garfield the cat in a desert scene that I put together many times as a kid. Wish I still had it. I remember how satisfying it was to put together the five or six pieces that made up the illustrated tricky pear cactus next to Odie, Garfield's canine pal.

Fast forward to me as an adult, during the pandemic, with lots of time and little to do. It was time for a puzzle renaissance. I started to get them as gifts, people would share them with me, and I started to seek them out on my own. I do have the collector's curse, but thankfully it hasn't yet extended to puzzles.

I've learned a lot about how I approach problem solving from how I put a puzzle together. It also extends well into the work that I do as a content designer.

I always start with the border, though I understand that there are some folks that do the unfathomable and just start putting any pieces together. I enjoy the literal framing of the work at hand. It sets up boundaries, sets expectations.

I put on some music and get lost in it. There’s no other way for me to pass the time that also lets me listen critically. I can’t really read while listening to music—it’s too tempting to let my focus drift. Puzzles don’t require the same part of my brain, it seems.

Since my favorite puzzle image trope is the collage, I get to solve lots of little puzzles within a puzzle. The mixtape image puzzle pictured here was almost perfect, featuring small tasks in the form of each individual cassette. Some were similar colors, so it wasn't easy-easy, like that Garfield one.

As you work within a collage puzzle, you start to understand the color palette and textures. You start to become familiar with it, you pick up its visual vocabulary.

It's my favorite way to work on projects, too. Frame it, start small, understand the context and how it exists in the world. Repeat until the small parts start to make larger parts, and soon you'll pop in that last, satisfying piece.

This layoff is a bit like a puzzle, too.I'm still putting together the edge pieces, still figuring out the contexts. I have a couple of the smaller parts of the puzzle together, and the larger image is starting to reveal itself. 

I'm also reminded that you can't hurry a puzzle along—always a good thing to keep in mind.

[omishu]

Ask meme: 1, 3, 9, 18, 21, 24, 33, 42, 44 (you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to), 46

Phew, boy howdy! there's a lot going on here, but ily, boo *gen-z style finger hearts* Thank you for the asks, m'buddy *tips hand-steamed ten-gallon hat at you*

1. who is/are your comfort character(s)?

Haruhi Fujioka from Ouran High School Host Club, Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, the Pokemon eevee, Rapunzel from Tangled, Elsa from Frozen, Baymax from Big Hero 6. Yes, a lot of these are Disney; it was my hyperfixation for at least a decade, don't @ me.

3. do you leave the window open at night?

As much as possible, yes. BUT my parents don’t like me having my bedroom door and window open at the same time. So if I want Lewis to be able to freely come and go from my room, I have to keep the window closed. If I really want it open, then Lewis gets locked either in or out, which is kind of a bummer since his litterbox and food/water are in the laundry room across the hall. He also likes it being open, though, because it's about as close to being outside as he cares to get, even with a leash and harness; it makes him feel adventurous to hear the waterfalls, rustling trees, and various wildlife outside from the comfort of my ultraplush bed lol he can also smell things and feel the breeze/heat, but more on a sample/trial basis.

9. which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

I guess if I HAD to pick a form to drink coffee, it'd be cold. As you know, I really don't care for the stuff, but I get a shit-ton of Starbucks giftcards and their frapps are basically milkshakes.

18. what hair products do you use?

Oh boy, I have QUITE the repertoire, but I barely use any of it. A lot of it is for specific styles for specific events, so I just have all kinds of pins, mouses, gels, sprays, combs/brushes, heat tools, etc, etc. My sister got my whole family on Monat, but I'm broke af so I buy a normalizing shampoo from my stylist because my thin, fine, flat, straight-ass hair gets oily af unless I use that. I like to use a leave-in conditioner spray too, because it isn't too heavy and also keeps the oils under control better. If I blowdry or curl my hair (with a straightening iron), I like to use some strong-hold hairspray (no particular brand) that I brush out, just so it stays looking nice longer.

21. something you’ve kept since childhood?

I have a little teddy bear in a flower hat and dress that my mother's mother gave me ages ago. It's probably the only plushie to survive all of my purges and definitely the only gift I've kept from any of my grandparents, besides like ... heirloom jewelry. My oldest sister used to always call me her dolly-bear because she loved cuddling me and dressing me up (my autistic tomboy ass hated that shit sm istg). The nickname has kinda grown on me, now that I've embraced my gender non comformity, because I 1) think it's funny to imagine an actual bear wearing a dress and 2) have reclaimed my own sense of femininity in a way that wields it as a weapon in my own arsenal rather than against me while also embracing my somewhat aggressive/rough-around-the-edges approach to. Lot of things. But during a senior trip with my highschool church youth group, we went to a flee market and were given a $2 bill with some change (to match our grad year) and told to pick something to represent ourselves, and then over the course of the weekend had to give it away to a stranger we met at one of our activities and explain it. I found a similar bear and had a hard time finding anyone or working up the nerve to give it away, so I carried it around everywhere - amusement park, Wal-Mart runs, hiking, etc. The day we headed back to our town, we visited a church for their service, and a little girl there got upset that she lost her toy. I gave her my dolly-bear, and she looked so awestruck. That was a pretty cool moment for me, because giving her basically myself (metaphorically) brought her so much joy and comfort. I still think about that sometimes. You've probably seen the bear from my Grandmother because I had it in my dorm.

24. if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

Gosh, right now? Probably sweating and getting sunburned lol maybe jumping into my family's in-ground pool if it was closer to the actual house haha but fr maybe have my beach umbrella set up in a stand with beach towels under us and electric fans blowing on us, drinking beer and eating ice cream bars, laughing and reminiscing and dreaming and commiserating. God, I miss you so much.

33. the last adventure you’ve been on?

Gotta check my calendar fr because work has been insane lately. I do have a lot of adventures planned for the next few months though. Hopefully one or more involves you visiting! *eyes* hm been doing a lot of pool party cookouts for family birthdays lately and been to a few special screenings for films in cosplay. But my last legit adventure was probably last month when I took my friend to her first ever RenFaire. Or maybe my city's annual Bee Festival. Idk ask me again around Thanksgiving because by then I'll have a ton under my belt for the year. The first half of this year has severely lacked any quality adventures.

42. an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again!! Ni no Kuni: Crossworlds is my favorite mobile game ever!!! I mean c'mon it's got Ghibli art, and even Joe Hisaishi does the freaking music! The story is cool, the characters are cool, the monsters/fighting are cool. I freaking love this game. It has a lot going on, so I only do like the dailies/weeklies, but they have regular events going, like, all the time. I love it so much, and I want all my friends to play with me, so we can have our own Kingdom and do party dungeons together. It's a fantasy MMORPG, which is my fave genre, and is also an isekai.

44. you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

[SoundCloud Rapper voice] YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO IT IS: my mother.

46. favorite holiday film?

Which holiday are we talking about? If you mean like ... winter holidays, then ... idk there're a lot of Christmas movies I try to watch every year; Elf, The Nativity Story, White Christmas, KLAUS, Jingle Jangle, etc. Idk if I really have a true favorite though (Klaus, probably)

#literally me irl #Ask memes

[dommesticpet]

Oh, right. Discord. Sometimes I forget that's the main reason I dropped out of the community.

There's simply a categorical difference between decentralized online spaces like Tumblr, where no one's the boss, and a space like Discord, where there's a strict hierarchy of authority that includes the ability to remove people and censor topics at will. This sounds a bit dramatic, but regardless of how good-hearted an authority is, power corrupts.

This has been discussed elsewhere, but requiring identification is obviously a massive barrier to participation in these spaces. As much as we may trust a long-time community member, we can't expect newcomers to do so, and as a result, the majority of community activity is hidden from view. And regardless of our trust, providing identification to a third party is always dangerous - even real companies have data breaches all the time. It wouldn't take a genius to see a bunch of kink-community information on a lost or stolen computer and think, "here's a bunch of people I might be able to blackmail." I know they delete it afterward, but there's umpteen other ways the process could be compromised. I respect the dedication to ensuring everyone's of-age but it just inherently strangles the community to have most activity go on in these hidden spaces. No one's fault - more like a tragedy of the commons. Kind of literally that, actually, in the sense that what was once held in common is now privately controlled.

And another thing. These convention hotels always reminded me just a bit too much of trips to visit my grandparents. Not that I have any better ideas, really. Maybe we can have something like Burning Man & put up a giant pendulum out in the desert. And then burn it, I guess. I don't know, I'd go.

You know, this is a blog post that may be more appropriate for your own blog!

I'm hoping Mastodon picks up. I made this one here https://mastodon.triggerphra.se/@dommesticpet and I like the idea of a decentralized, not-quite-free-for-all (and for all I know I'll move to another instance). It seems like the kind of thing that offers everything people wanted with Tumblr, minus a critical mass of users. Also you're at the mercy of a local server tyrant rather than a corporation - so you need to be careful what you share and where, just like anywhere. It's imperfect but at least it's harder to police the entire thing if someone doesn't like whatever it is you're interested in doing with your consenting adult partner(s).

So far I haven't found a Mastodon instance with a particularly compelling group feed (no offense, triggerphra.se) but adoption is new for most people and it probably is just as likely to disappear as it is to get more popular. But also nobody is there yet.

Back in the day it was the Wild West with Usenet, or Yahoo groups, or IRC, and it has been a lot harder to find a good home for this kind of stuff. Discord is a great way to do real-time chat but not exactly good for archiving stuff. Even Tumblr is a little hard to search. I assume everybody wouldn't want to go to Blogger.

To use that as a basis of comparison everybody could just descend on a single hotel, but that's got problems too. Given you have to pay for tickets, most likely with something with your name on it over the internet, anonymity is tough. And if you have a ban list, you want to have a means to filter people out and hope they have the best intentions/shred your name after things are over. As long as there's a stigma against this kind of stuff all we can hope for is better and better best-practices, and hopefully someone is dreaming up a few new ones as we speak.

#weirdly anonymous conversations in public #hypnosis #mastodon

[suedrawl]

okay sorry i did a huge reblog dump bcs it’s 5am and i just want to sleep but my health don’t give me any days off

anyway hey!! I’m okay. I was at the ER for 12 hours a few days ago—spent 10 hours in the waiting room, 2 in a weird closet/makeshift room. only to be told it’s likely just a minor infection or virus. god. cannot express accurately how that day went. it was…a day. so thankful for Pablo, at least

so we were initially worried about things like gallstones, appendicitis, miscarriage, kidney issues, so on. but I am okay sorta . blood work and xrays didn’t show anything outside of higher white blood count. so essentially IBS or something? but i’m still dealing with bad stomach cramps (like now!). been struggling to get myself to hydrate, fatigued, achey—it doesn’t combine well with my already Normal Pain

tho finally after weeks of trying i got an appointment set up with my pcp on monday. so maybe i’ll get more answers then. also will see about medical marijuana, physical therapy, and short term disability

i just hope something is found—anything. with the cramping, all the weight gain I’ve had, and other symptoms. i’m so tired. i’m so embarrassed with my state. i know i’ve disappointed and let people down. I haven't been around for friends as much. So I'm partial to say things Have worsened? But honestly, in a way, far from true

I haven't been passively suicidal and hopeless like I was in what felt like a decade or more. I'm with someone I love, living on my own, and have been given the space to rest/recover. And I honestly have been loving the distance from the internet and older social habits. it’s nothing against friends, but readjusting myself from the mom friend/caretaker/masking/denying myself space and needs. the solitary (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been drawing the Hermit card) and focus on irl/more in the moment has been so relieving

but also feels so… like i’m trading one bad thing for another set. my grandfather (last grandparent alive) isn’t doing well. my cat Gibbs… it won’t be long, and I don’t think I’ll be able to see him in time. Haven’t seen my family in over a year. Struggling financially. Been working through a lot of communication/boundaries/needs with Pablo and his family. This season is always rough bcs it’s SAD on top of my regular chronic depression. cold weather is hard on my fibro. other health issues are flaring and struggling to find respite. it’s also weird bcs this is the time where i was lost in the woods as a child. missing my dad. family childhood trauma. the weight…i hate it. feeling lost, discouraged, exhausted. that sense of being betrayed by my body. struggling to keep up, accepting so many limitations, realizing that realistically, you are not enough for others expectations. it’s something i am used to, and inherently can pick up fast. but still takes time to process and cope

just wanna draw and be house wife like. i have really basic needs and hopes right now

small steps. keep trying. i’ll get there, bit by bit. but i am so deeply exhausted

#sue personal #sue drawl #i am in so much pain #chronic illness on top of…whatever weird freak flareup episode that sent me to the ER #i’m trying so hard to get myself to be functional/catch up with things #i hate being seen as a disappointment #worst of all if they don’t get chronic illness and invisible disease #i want to just be marginally better #i don’t have to have a cure i just want to lose weight and work part time or something

[tarotnoob]

PAC: Life is a movie; what's your role?

What role would you play in a movie? Lead actor, supporting actor, director, cinematographer, music editor, producer, stylist, stunts?

Would your life story be a rom-com, adventure, tragedy?

Choose a Taehyung and scroll for your reading!

Pile 1

My first inclination with this pile would just be validation for someone. Although, sometimes I'm not always sure if - when I use a photo of a person to shuffle - does it really pick up on the energy of the group or the individual? Because, I knew that this type of story also fit a time in Taehyung's life, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't resonate for someone else.

So, with that, there are several cards to indicate grief and loss of someone, particularly an older relative - a grandparent, likely a grandfather, but it just seems an older individual. Rather than read too much into that, I'll just say if that's a message you need to hear, their presence is - for me - all over the cards. And there may have been some real grief and difficulty accepting the passing of this older relative. You may have been closer to them than even a parent or other immediate family. They would have taught you things about life or had a great impact on you. You still think about them a lot. Likely, you had a lot in common or you may even carry similar traits to them in terms of hobbies or likes or ways of thinking, maybe even looks.

I don't know why lately it feels I'm getting messages from people who've passed as I'm not a medium, I don't see or hear dead people/pets unless they pop into my dreams, but there are times that the cards just scream it, so I've said it.

Now, what's your role? After glancing at the cards, your role is: lead actor. But, in a movie where the main character is heart broken or doing a lot of soul searching. Movies that come to mind: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, A Star is Born, 10 Things I Hate About You, Garden State, Truman Show, Breakfast at Tiffany's, etc... A little bit angsty and emo at times, sometimes you wander around lost and reflecting on life, looking for something to fill the void. Likely, this would be in another person.

Now, what the cards have to say - so Mentor and the door card both seem to be about gaining wisdom (at least the picture on the door card which you can't see is a gate that looks out into the mountains), and I read that as someone trying to climb some mountain to seek knowledge, right. Some of you may even be able to astral project or something because when you look at page of cups, it's like a part of them is ascending, as well - but we'll just slip this into someone rising higher in order to attain wisdom.

Oh, also I want to point out that when I was looking over these cards after I shuffled, two birds hit the windows downstairs and then I had a woodpecker peck at my window and look inside at me. I don't know what that means but it's a bit creepy. One of the birds that hit the window knocked itself out, so I went out there and sat by it in case anything tried to get it, debating on if I should bring it in or what, but eventually it flew off. How is it relevant? I don't know. But ... it's flying.

Teraz is a card about being in the now instead of focusing on past/future, but I was more drawn to the "acceptance" and even "awareness" but this had to do with that grief, and accepting loss. Granted, this could be accepting and being aware of anything (spiritual), as in simple spiritual awareness or... awareness of a spirit of an ancestor, maybe it'll come up again later.

Grand Trine - so this is that thing in your chart that might indicate being especially lucky or skilled in a certain area, but because you're naturally okay at this, you can get kind of lazy so you're asked to put in some effort. But, it can also indicate a "right time, right place" energy. It could also indicate relationships to people with whom you have something in common or even share a similar sun sign or moon sign, etc... but it's also just "blessings."

I know 7 of pentacles fell out first - and then 5 of pentacles and page of cups. For 7 of pentacles I'm drawn most to the meanings of... effort, patience, and "growing" something, but that just makes me think of growing in knowledge, but you grow in knowledge by doing the thing. Such as, you want to be a farmer, well... you're going to have to grow crops. You want to be an artist? You have to draw. You might feel at times that... you're not seeing payout for your efforts or for anything good to happen you have to put in a lot of work, that things don't come easy which is ironic given the grand trine here. But this may be about the lazy part... because five of pentacles is typically a lack in something and we have page of cups, so it's some sort of lack/void around love/emotions (is how I'm reading it, you can always come up with your own take). I feel some lonely energy in these cards... and that's maybe what's lacking, is someone who understand you on a deep level, so perhaps you're waiting for a partner to come to you or some of you are grieving someone that you've lost... and it could even be that you've been trying to manifest this relationship (or grieving) for a longer period of time, enough for all the roots in 7 of pentacles to become tangled. There's also this kind of winding branch in Teraz which would make me think they're connected... That would make me feel that in the present, you are possibly in the process of becoming more "aware" of something and working on "accepting" something, and are seeing some type of growth or progress - though it's not like HUGE, but it should be bubbling up at the surface here. However, the message is also to continue being patient and keep doing the work that you've already been doing - there is some type of knowledge you are gaining or growing currently during this period.

On page of cups - I'm drawn to the pig, which makes me think of "when pigs fly" which is a saying that means "it'll never happen" basically. So, you may have some doubts on whether whatever you're trying to manifest is going to happen, but... what I can say is, if there are any "things" getting in the way it would be a negative way of thinking, yeah, but... a lack of patience... and maybe a tendency to be lazy or fall back on what makes you feel comfortable?

In page of cups I see you desiring something, in five of pentacles I feel something negative surrounding your heart - like doubt or... not great human emotions, it can be envy or jealousy, sloth - I don't see this as financial, but with the pentacles, sure it could be trying to save up money to get something you want... I also see page of cups as this tiny sapling in 7 of pentacles, so... even if you don't see it with your eyes, there is something... growing for you... and imo, it has more to do with the "want" you've put out in the universe for it. The universe has HEARD what's in your heart, but... something isn't quite aligned, as in perhaps you aren't putting in your part (the effort). You'd have to investigate what you feel you see in the 5 of pentacles because your heart wants to go "up heeeeeere" but your brain or something else is keeping you in 5 of pentacles. Maybe it's frustration with the process or yourself... maybe that "now" stuff is because you aren't appreciating what you have at present or I should say you aren't appreciating the progress you've made because it's "too small" compared to the effort you've put in (if you have).

Also, this five of pentacles having a key and a keyhole, it's like okay if you just unlock the door, there may be something behind it that can help you? Which draws me back tot he "knowledge"... so it's like also what is in your way or is a next step seems to be attaining some type of wisdom. That's pretty vague, so apply it how you need to... it could be literal knowledge like some type of skill to get what you want, it could be some type of emotional or spiritual or philosophical knowledge you need to acquire. Usually something like that is: BELIEVE IN yOUrSeLf... there is some insecurity here, too. Maybe you feel like you can't do it as well as someone, but it feels like - okay so your grandparent made clothes and they were so stylish and amazing because your grandma was coco chanel. and then it's in your blood so you want to design clothes, but you're like - i'll never be grandma chanel so why bother even though i used to hang out in her workroom and i have the knowhow but I'll never be as gooooood.

So it's like well first of all you have that kind of blessing to even have that experience, but perhaps as you grew up because some things were easily available to you compared to someone who grows up on the street and creates their own fashion from thrift shops... so you kind of slag off in some areas... like there's a piece of your brain or experience you're missing due to your circumstances. Because you were blessed in one way... and so you never really had to try or work for it or feel pushed to do something... so there's this... lack of ambition... but the ambition is also connected to self-motivation... so it's like you WANT to be FAMOUUUUUUUUS and think you can do that because you have a pretty face, so you'll just be a model, no problem. But, your face only gets you so far. "Spoiled" is what I hear... maybe someone in the family spoiled you and you didn't learn some important life lesson you need to push through to the highest level.

There's not much to say about those of you calling in a partner either... there are notes of that in the distant kiss card which says "i wish of all wishes that you were here through sunlight and rain i need you near" this is interesting, too, with the 7 of pentacles... so it's needing someone to be there to comfort you, good or bad times, and whatnot... and then there's a loneliness without that person... and then trying to call them in with page of cups... there are all kinds of ways to interpret this for relationships... i tend to leave out established couples bc i'm perpetually single but say if you were in a relationship and we turned this into a love reading... well... it reads more like people who'd be putting effort into... well get through a rough patch, sorry I can't see much positive in these tarot cards with this five of pentacles... I guess you could go oh well I've moved past that five of pentacles stage with the help of my partner and we've grown - nah cuz page of cups is like more the start of a relationship so... if you were just starting a relationship but... or even if you were wanting to get with someone, the five of pentacles has a closed door with a key... there's feelings, but someone has a door closed... and it's going to take patience and effort to get the door to open.

I guess another component is... maturity is needed here, like the maturity that comes from life experience. That may be lacking for this lead character... their mind doesn't seem to be in the now, focusing on what they have, but seems to focus on what they don't have, and what they don't have could be love... or this thing they desire related to... some heart-centered desire. I keep getting a kid pouting because they aren't being handed what they want... or they just don't have access to what they want. Like, they feel locked out.

But, if you use your own hand and put in the effort, you WILL see results IF it's something you want/desire to have. The tarot have... like a very basic story plot for you... I don't find them particularly deep?

They're like "you have something you desire, you don't have the thing you desire, you're waiting for the thing you desire to appear... you may be or need to put effort into getting the thing you desire... the kind of effort you have to put in may take patience to grow"

Now, what the oracles add onto it are - don't be lazy and assume it's going to fall in your lap, abundance IS out there for you and maybe luck will be on your side at some point, that some of you are wanting a person - romantically or... spiritually.

More than anything, though - I do feel this heavy grief of missing an older loved one... that there's probably been... years since their passing but it still has an effect on you... and I guess not to be morbid, but... a couple of you who have lost someone, the grief has been so strong you've had (*TW*) thoughts about "joining them" - or just... very depressive types of thoughts. And to that, I would say - there's too much love in the cards from this person for them to ever be happy if you were thinking you want to be with them again or something - that's not what they want. They would rather see you grow old and share the things you've learned in life to help others and to also consider your blessings that you do have…

I think there's some type of awareness in your life they want you to have NOW and that awareness is ... self awareness... around a way of thinking... like somehow a way you are thinking isn't... in alignment, is the nicest way for me to put it. Your brain is either in the past or future, but it's not just enjoying now - like this mentor card where the older person and child are talking or reading a story - they're doing something joyful together and enjoying the moment... even in 7 of pentacles, it's like this person is enjoying what they're growing or doing or working on by themselves... also in 7 of pentacles with the roots connecting to these circles plus the mentor card - there is potential to... have your talent or ability or experience connect with others... it could be that you are in a position to mentor and share your knowledge with others at some point but in particular I think it'd be a creative expression of some sort in which you share painful experiences... maybe you write a story about grief or a song about losing someone or how sad life is, idfk... as for the numbers, there's 5, 7, 10... those are pretty tough... 5 is conflict/change... 7 some people see this as a spiritual number... when you look at the tarot 7's i mean I guess you have chariot, 7 of wands, 7 of swords, 7 of cups, 7 of pentacles... that's defensive/standing your ground/under attack; lying or deceit; lack of clarity or indecisiveness; waiting a long time

So - for me - those indicate lessons? Or... things that are hidden. 10 is, ofc, about cycles completing…

Put it together and it's something like... life lessons that you had to learn regarding hard change/conflict and certainly those types of lessons can come through ... grief or loss... or maybe even constant... unexpected... bad luck or trauma or something... which is just weird to me because of blessings... it's almost like if there's someone who's blessed but who also has really bad luck? this sort of reminds me of Jimin but maybe Taehyung is like that too in some way - where obviously they have fame, but Jimin just seems... unlucky, plus he was born on the 13th so... I don't really see Taehyung as having a "limit" on him in some way that he has to fight through but maybe he feels that way... maybe this is a "chip on the shoulder" vibe about something. BUT when I see the triangle in grand trine... it's like okay maybe it has nothing to do with effort and everything to do with timing and you can try all you want but if the timing isn't right it's not coming bc jesus christ you have to create this perfect equal triangle where everything connects and is in harmony - so if it were a person, well the timing has to be right BUT they will be perfect for you. the job is perfect for you BUTTTTT it's about timing... and the timing can only come after whatever knowledge you gain happens... i don't know what that means probs cuz only the universe knows but likely it's some sort of life lesson and then once you learn it, the thing comes in *shrug* - timing, who knows... pentacles indicate years... I won't say it'll take 12 years but the point is what you want will take years, it's not going to happen over night. maybe a specific timing is 5-7 years for some while for others it's 5-7 months or weeks. it may also be a time where like three planets are in the same sign like sun in cap, moon in cap, whatever in cap... it could be that other aspects of your life come together at the same time to create the "points" as in well first you have to get a degree, then you get a job and then you meet a partner. but they would all kind of happen at the same time i guess.... or it's just that things have to line up first but to me it looks more like it.... all magically connects at once or looks like it does when reallllly you had to 7 of pentacles to get there and it wasn't magic - it was like... the product of your effort?? i guess what i'm seeing is instead of a triangle, there's a line with three dots an dots and it's all on the same spectrum but from your pov you see it as 3D when it's like 1D (not the band). i guess i could phrase it like - when it all happens at once you'll be like woaaaaaaaaaah maaaaaaaaaagic. but like... it's actually not because they were all sitting right there in a nest waiting for you to take them. literally just sitting at the top of a mountain in one place but you had to climb up to the mountain first? and to get to the mountain you had to take a donkey and before that a plane and a bus and a car... so it feeeeeeeeeeels long but like they were just sitting up here on top of the mountain not going anywhere. but to get there YOU had to do all the work? i'm sure you get it by now.

maybe you're just making it harder on yourself than it needs to be and overthinking things... when maybe the solution will end up being simpler than you think... or at least when you get the result... so.

ok that's pretty long so let's stop there. maybe it's like life of pi except i don't really remember that movie too well... and then there's a twist... but when you think about the people in the movies i mentioned, a lot of them are pretty emo but really they just had too much time on their hands and a fair amount of privilege that they were even able to worry about things like - what is liiiiiife. like, philosophical and spiritual worries are still a privilege. it means you don't have to think every day about just surviving. you have the privilege to reflect on spiritual lack and quandaries and - well that's a whole other conversation i think about a lot. it's a privilege to be on social media and do nothing but complain about everything.

on that note - don't feel so discouraged... a lot of it is about timing and a lot of it might be in your head... and if you don't know how to do something or how to get what you want... there's some level of knowledge you need to discover first before what you desire will... be found. but my feel is if you just looked at the door in five of pentacles instead of ... lying there on the floor crying, you might... actually find what you need right behind it???? like it was there the whole time, dorothy? good chats.

p.s. i realized the forsythia leviosa was hidden under my laptop as i was typing but i guess i just connected it to the "spirit" aspect... until i looked at the damn bird at the bottom that looks weirdly like the woodpecker that peeked in my window - so idk maybe birds are relevant to someone somehow or flying/rising

---

Pile 2

You might've been drawn to pile 1 because there is one small thing that they have in common, which may have to do with... certain things happening at the right time and place. As in serendipity. Because four of pentacles has this waiting period or pause while something builds up and then 9 of pentacles is like that... financial independence vibe.

In terms of your role in the movie process... I see you more as a producer or producer/director - there's a lot of cards to indicate someone good at saving money or holding onto money, building up money and then using their intellect to do that. And that's more of a producer's role, keeping on top of the spending or providing money and being able to see the big picture. That's why I also can see a producer-director type because with the king of swords, I'd also imagine someone who has a vision... but is very practical... and would be good at executing that vision. So, enjoy that role.

In Once in a lifetime, I also see the serendipity stuff, but I see this as you being in a role that brings other people together - I did see this in pile 1 with the seven of pentacles and all those "seeds" being connected but here it's more like... you have the ability to bring these planets into alignment, which falls under your role rather nicely.

Of course this card also goes well with destiny. Which we don't need to read too much into that other than this pile is capable of great things or has some particular purpose for bringing something/people together or it can solely be about things having to come into alignment for certain events in your life to happen (big ones I mean).

Pluto - transformation; well, don't need to get too deep with that either, we're looking at the transformative properties of pluto/scorpio. It also reminds me of the 11th/12th month and these are 11/12 cards or 2/3... you could read this as being okay well... some type of major transformation in life is part of your destiny. Well what does that mean? All kinds of things. Moving, getting a job, finding a partner, having kids, projects... i can only say it's a major event that also feels serendipitous. It'll be different for different people.

Estafania and forgive and forget obviously seem similar. This... was similar in pile 1, as well - this process of something needing to be released before you can grow... the forgive and forget says "a ritual cleansing of pain and lies; arise and awaken, see a new sunrise."

so the sunrise fits with that once in a lifetime, we're seeing a planetary/universe/spiritual moment once we let go of something toxic like... fear or anger or doubt, whatever... it's a pretty common transformative process - when we let go of what we no longer need, we transform into a higher level of ourselves *shrug* not that deep lol, pretty standard which is why it appears in readings ALLLLLLLLL THE TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEEEEE.

the messiah card though certainly we can fall intot he shadow aspect of it of having some type of god complex, the lighter part is serving humanity with humility - which might clue us in to what needs to be released (issues of ego - possibly even like overconfidence or self righteousness, control issues, etc...); but it does seem like that your purpose could lie in serving humanity in some way. and doing so with humility - so... that's kind of hard to think about bc we do need money to survive, but... and also when you look at the messiah card it also has all of these planets lining up so let me peek at the guidebook. well that was mostly negative lol so yeah it mentions people with god complexes or martyr complexes, feeling like god sent you for a purpose to save others. perhaps this is something you do or something others do to you (religious families/partners) and such...

there's not a lot in the tarot for me to feel that... is really a root issue bc there's nothing in the tarot to indicate anything negative. except four of pentacles which can be seen as... clinging to something... or being stingy or greedy but that's more if the card was reversed. i'm feeling more of a 7 of pentacles vibe from the four of p...

unlike pile 1 which... kinda seemed... like lost and lazy in terms of ... meeting an objective, i see pile 1 as someone with a plan... and like... is the one bringing things together? i think pile 1 is more the type to just get lucky and things happen to line up sorta based on their choices. but i see pile 2 as... being the ones to put together the plan and have more control over what they accomplish? like a person who makes their own dreams happen? it's very - earth sign feelz... i mean but there is some air here, too... so it's like bringing ideas to life. if you had an idea for a business you'd also have the means to draw up a business plan and run it and make money and organize some system. it could be that you are a person who... has those skills but uses it for a good cause. like say you come up with a plan to build a youth center... i guess this is the evolved pile 1... i feel like you've already let go of the negative stuff and are in the process of building this thing whereas pile 1 still needed to let go of something...

there might need to at some point in life for you to experience a breakthrough? i don't know what that will be but i see it more as... a level? like umm... getting this degree. as opposed to... some type of spiritual breakthrough... where someone has to build confidence in themselves... i mean that may be a thing but your breakthrough feels more like a phase or stage of life in which you have to do something physical... get a license, degree, get a loan... there's some type of plan that has to come together but it's a physical plan.

there is still this message of forgiving and forgetting or releasing some type of pain or betrayal though but it feels like a sidenote; however, i'll try to read it in a way that this isn't just a ... business journey here or career or studies... but something spiritual and you all just happen to have a lot of earthy vibes...

so spiritually there is some step that involves releasing pain/betrayal/lies - whether you need to forgive someone or yourself... some type of negative feeling you feel tied to that's preventing a new phase? idk or it's just happening right now as a sidenote and literally there's someone you're having conflict with and you need to move past it.

transformation/destiny could be something bigger and better is waiting for you as you keep evolving spiritually in life... it could be that the event that transforms you is destiny or it's your destiny to help others spiritually evolve, etc... which fits in with messiah. it being pluto could also be about hidden things in the subconscious you might need to let go of or work on... since pluto is kind of a sexual nature, too, perhaps there are sexual issues idk. pluto for me is also behind the judgment card, which is like an "awakening"... so in that regard there's some type of spiritual awakening that's part of your destiny... and then once in a lifetime is like.... you ... and other people... making the planets line up... but at the same time, it's also like... produces something miraculous? like together all your efforts also create something once in a lifetime? but you also caused it??

but maybe you didn't realize it was going to be as big of a deal as you thought. so like if you produced/directed a movie and then it grossed 10x more than you expected and won about 20 oscars.

so let's get back to the tarot in regard to spiritual stuff:

four of pentacles; queen of pentacles; king of swords; 9 of pentacles. this is someone very savvy-minded and business-minded... so good with money or maybe not as 9 of pentacles can be about indulgence, like buying luxury items and such but maybe you have the money to do so at the end of your... big hit. it's almost like someone holding onto money and building it up to a certain point and then it... earns a profit. like i guess you could compare it to investing in stocks and letting it sit for a period but you invested wisely and then - in the end - you end up making a lot of money.

spiritually right... sidetracked cuz money's more interesting lol

j/k

i often see four of pentacles as someone conserving their energy or protecting it... but with the 9 of p here which is also about... doing work on the self, self care, independence...

it would be someone who as a person is... pretty gentle by nature... very intellectual, practical even... i feel like you have strong boundaries... you have ideas about things, but... you don't attack anyone with them... you're more focused on the self than worried about other people... i kind of feel like you mostly mind your own business... it could also be as simple as... someone who's started working at a good job and... they're saving up for something...

these court cards could be other people as well... if one person is the queen and the partner is a king of swords so if you have some earth-air relationship... these could be parents, as well... like if say your mom was a banker or accountant and your dad was a lawyer/doctor... and they've encouraged you to be financially independent but save up... it could be the opposite and these people have seen you spend a lot lately but they urge you to save money? that's so specific but... court cards are weird.

here's another thing and maybe the transformation is ... going from four of p to 9 of p or queen of p to king of swords - as these are opposite energies in a way especially the conservativeness of 4 of pentacles to the freedom of 9 of pentacles... and queen of pentacles is great but she's in her safe little garden surrounded by her home while king of p is out in the mountains, learning through adventure...

it might be that these are your extremes in life or... in life your transformation will include being rather conservative in nature to... expanding into something that's more... free in terms of how you think about things... or even... the amount of control you need to have. this four of p could be about... protecting yourself after some lies/betrayal stuff... and guarding your energy... but once you release it, you'd move more into this 9 of pentacles/king of swords energy *shrug* however on their own both of these court cards... are very wise - about different things... so they're both strong people.

but i guess it's like one is hermione granger and the other is... i dunno, katniss. bc i couldn't think of a really interesting and free thinking character who's also really innovative and can think on their feet. one is pretty rooted in a certain way of thinking, the other may be more flexible (mentally) in how they deal/perceive stuff... i don't see one as being better than the other but maybe the message is to be... a good combination of both as opposed to one or the other... since transformation is here tho it seems more likely... someone's energy will shift from... something closed off to... something open...

but this could also read as a couple who comes together and both are like that - yet as a couple, they balance out. one spends a lot, one saves... "saves" well that fits in with messiah that'd be cheeky of that four of p to mean saves that way hmph well if that were the case it'd be like... saving others by... helping them/teaching them to... gain their own independence and self expression, self worth... through - again - some type of business thing... or... it could be a situation where you... give out scholarships for people to pursue their passions like... giving a scholarship to the arts... so some of you may have a philanthropic calling in life to... help people out in learning something physical but also like increasing their self worth and confidence... it's got a real "mentor" type of vibe which is interesting bc pile 1 got the mentor card... but this may be the god complex thing of saving everyone and anyone idk maybe you do have a habit of trying to save or fix people... bc of... you didn't have this either when you were young and you earned it or built up some career... and so you want to give others what you didn't have and what they don't have... and that gives you some type of "control" over your past stuff - but anywho.

we don't need to go that deep...........

in terms of the future, i just see you as being largely successful in terms of making money or building a career... a pile for lawyers, doctors, bankers, accountants, professors... very accomplished people in the... "societal" label of success... an intellectual... maybe a bit snooty or a superiority complex but... idk... if you earned it and stuff... however the "humility" word came up so maybe that's a thing you need to keep in check, is staying humble and doing things for the good of it instead of it being a list of qualities you can brag about... i didn't tell you about this but anecdote: i went to a party a couple of weeks ago at a house owned by some pretty rich folks. they happened to own some businesses in town where i work at one of them on occasion as does my mom so... we went for the christmas party. i went for the good. there were a lot of... kinda snooty real estate people... and... tbh the rich people were welcoming but... really... weird and scary and clearly live in their own world... that just made me uncomfortable af bc it's "old" money and by old money i mean to the mid or late 1900s idk, the patriarch was a ceo of a big international company... and his son was there who now runs some of the smaller companies and he was weird af. like totally full of himself to the point that he just was not connected to real reality?

i'm not saying that's you but sometimes a certain level of material success and accomplishments can narrow the mind of people until there's a complete disconnect from the simplest aspects of life. maybe that's me being judgmental - but... i know i felt uncomfortable. i know i got a vibe from certain folks. i've also had personal experiences with rich people that were abusive, so -

point being that if god complex is coming up... like wow you're a doctor, but... idk... don't become a dick. although when you think about it i'd rather have a narcissistic doctor bc then they don't get emotional, they get so clinical and then they won't fuck up your surgery. but that's surgeons, not doctors... ?? as in like specialists.

ok i digressed. i'm getting tired. my bad.

maybe the message is - don't forget where you came from/where you started

---

Pile 3

Someone was just asking about a collective reading, which I've never done, but as long as I've done PACs, I've noticed similarities within piles at particular times where a similar message may run throughout everything. And so far, there is that, and what's weird is 1, 2, 3 - when this happens it's like 2 and 3 are the more evolved versions of 1. Like as in stages. Because the other two piles talk about... letting go of any kind of negative or "lack" thinking around what's possible, there may also be a sense of bringing aspects of ourselves into balance, there's also a lot of scorpio energy coming up and the idea of providing some type of service to people, destiny, etc... oh and attaining some type of knowledge in order to do this stuff, lol.

[future me after your long-ass reading: What's your role? Well, after you read all this, you will find I ultimately placed you as screenwriter or storyboard person - or whomever does a lot of that research before a series starts? Like really developing the lore or philosophy of a series, piecing it together and having deep knowledge of its lore]

Even in this pile there's a mix of transformation and thinking (deeply). We have some virgo and scorpio, the previous pile had that going within to learn some inner lesson and then... there's freedom in what you learn, as well as knowledge and through that process, you end up being able to serve others (the collective?). Which yeah it sounds vague and general because that's sort of the spiritual community's woowoo speech they give and I'm not really a drink the koolaid and accept it person; objectively, i can just tell you the cards do repeat this process often - so in theory it reads something like... something is a catalyst that leads us to go inward and explore inward-like stuff, through this we attain some type of inner knowledge, then when we share the knowledge we learned through this spiritual process with others, it's also part of like our path/destiny - so i would guess that this universe-cult out there is trying to brainwash us all into thinking a certain way and then brainwashing others with this message for some purpose. i said that pretty cynically but again... okay let's be theoretical here - why... like... is it that we as humans will start evolving more through... like intellectual processes or a combination of intellectual and spiritual. i think i read somewhere that the next stage of evolution well not next stage but down the line, we'd learn esp as we as a collective begin like... idk i know i'm butchering this and some light worker out there somewhere could say it better - and i don't get downloads or anything i just read cards ok... but let's say that as we all start focusing our thoughts on one thing or thinking in a certain way, just being more open to extrasensory stuff - eveeeeeeeeeentually down the line we can somehow connect via... our brains or... vibes or feelings... because we've taught ourselves to be more open to it? i mean it could also just be a spiritual blueprint of how to evolve your soul into its highest form... could it have religious undertones, too? of like... a god being out there and directing a certain type of path to the end of times? i mean what's the difference. but the bottom line is... people experience some type of fall... or tower moment... it leads them into spirituality... they become more open to all those philosophies... then they engage in... disseminating that information or philosophy...

oh well does it really matter what it all means? idk. i'm just saying bc that stuff is all over this pile's cards... but let's actually talk about... the cards >.> oh and what role you play

well i feel like ... maybe a lot of people will pick this pile which is why it has the most cards. i also wondered if maybe if it was for one person it's like... prequel and a sequel... because two cards kept falling out from each deck, very annoying, so i almost took it as two separate readings were happening but not necessarily knowing which go where except i can tell you seven of cups and page of swords came out together and that reads very simply like "clarity on a decision" 7 of cups is having... lots of choices or a lack of clarity, page of swords is... finding your way out of that haze... especially by... learning something, being curious about how something works, having an epiphany or even some type of info/communication you receive makes things more clear. the other tarot pair is hermit and 8 of wands... these two together always make me think of the concept of receiving downloads bc it's like okay you go within like a hermit and then you're hit with this huge amount of fast moving info... so you can see how those pair of cards parallel each other as... the general meaning here is... someone being hit with information that would make things very clear and would also up some level of knowledge. especially with the hermit, that's usually when you'd go within and isolate to sort of... be introspective and think about life, but it also indicates studying and learning... especially someone ... studying information/communication. reading things online, spiritual activity online... things that you're learning or reading are making "something" more clear for you.

but let's talk about the oracles and try to sus out if they go together or separate stories or are just repeating each other. we have tipping the scales which makes me think of the justice card or even six of pentacles... but ... balance, social justice, equality.

we have deeper which... basically is the hermit card... but it fits with 7 of cups and page of s to me too... like this person even looks like they're building sandcastles and it says dig... so you're digging deeper into something regarding information. the 1111 card annoys me since i got double cards literally but... synchronicities being important here... hmm i can tell you the other side is a wooden door with an arch shape at the top... it looks like it could be a church door but it's really rustic... so really it reminds me of... skyrim and ... that sort of... norse door that leads into the jarl's place? or ... game of thrones door to a castle or something idk... that it's wood can mean humility... simplicity... nature... and also there's like two doors within the door as if you could open each and maybe go through to the same place. so... idk how to interpret this for you... if it's a two of wands scenario and you have... a crossroad you come to and have to choose? if it's... something super weird about parallel lives... if it's related to gemini stuff... but what's interesting in the door pic that you can't even see is that if you went in either door you still end up in this church so it's like maybe you struggle with choices - however the universe is saying well no matter your choice you're going to end up in the same place, which is where you're meant to be *shrug*

we have the fledgling card where someone is falling into a hole... and fledgling's being like baby birds trying to fly and take off... when i look at that card i have a sense of being overwhelmed... it's also someone who's trying to fly when they're a human, not a bird. and i had so many issues with birds when i flipped everyone's cards out today. hitting windows, pecking on my window sill... bizarre behavior.

it also gives a sense of being... like out of your element.

then we have i transform/scorpio and i analyze/virgo. those placements may mean something to you but... this is again another message that's clearly like... going within to think about something and then transforming right... ofc we transform when we learn something new... because once we learn something - we're never the same again? like let's say you learn an awful secret about your family, like someone lied about a big thing... you can never go back to before you knew that. now you know that and... things change based off that, it's never the same, that change makes you evolve for good or bad. that's a heavy negative example... obviously you can get into spirituality and evolve - we all know what i mean, so... lots of things we do and think change as we progress into spirituality... also it's just... humanity. ignorant people won't change or transform but when they LEARN something, they can't go back to being ignorant. racism, discrimination - a lot of that comes from a fear or lack of knowledge about whatever they hate bc they don't understand or have no experience with whatever that is... i think that's why i just can't even vibe with ignorant people no matter who they are or if they're "nice" on the surface. there's always something about them i'm just like "what a waste" and the thing is you know... some people aren't given opportunities to learn. i'm not saying that's an excuse, but let's say a kid has a racist parent and they start repeating what the parent says with zero actual understanding of what it means... or people who only stay in one town for their whole life and never know what it's like in a big city or another country or continent... once we take in information, we transform... and maybe that's on an even bigger scale than we realize and our cells also have some knowledge of what we learn on some level and that's why the "universe" wants us to attain more knowledge bc actually knowledge and info gathering is part of the process of actual evolution as well as spiritual evolution, etc... idk yo i'm just theorizing.

weird i brought up secrets bc we have conscia with "secrets, confessions, confidante" this also makes me think of scorpio as well... but the idea of the hidden... subconscious... unconscious... let's not get too jung-ian... this makes me feel like something hidden to you... something unconscious - now it may be a literal thing in your life like some secret is revealed to you and that's your tower moment but overall i see this as knowledge that was hidden to you is... attained... it also says she who whispers so there's a lot of emphasis on this pile about "communication" and i am drawn to the idea of gemini so... gemini placements and gemini planetary whatever alignments or third house stuff may be relevant. weirder if someone has gemini virgo scorpio placements. or like virgo or scorpio in third house or gemini in 5th or 8th house??? idk

and samaritan came out on its own... which made me feel weird but i got servant anyway and both are about providing service out of the good of your heart - which pile 2 got as well and pile 1 had mentor... so every pile had something that signified... "service" to community or even being a leader-type.... and usually that means that... you can also help other people transform spiritually by passing along your spiritual-cult message just like i do when i do these pacs. omg i'm part of a cullllllllllllllllllllllltttttttttttttttt. i mean. is it really cultier than the sns fandom hahaaaaaaaaa or bts >.> <.< the fandom, not the group. the group isn't a cult. pretty sure.

back to those virgo and scorpio cards, they also literally translate to... i analyze (death) bc of the images on the scorpio card having a sarcophagus. did i spell that right. go me. but i just see that as having an interest or studying the occult... death... spirituality... *shrug* so yeah thanks cards for pointing out the obvious that we're all here studying and learning about spirituality and death >.> *slow clap*

i feel like this pile looks like the universe vomited out a bunch of cards, so let's try to consolidate to give something maybe more... specific and coherent...

we know we have service here. we're a pile that's... helping people in need or providing service to them. it's clearly the most spiritual pile as is typical of pile 3's, plus the image itself was spiritual since it's from season greetings and it's taehyung being a tarot reader *shrug*

let's see the fledgling card as someone going down a rabbit hole such as... spirituality... and then you enter that and go deeper and keep learning more and more and there are synchronicities and such bc we all see that the further we get into it... it's weird conscia looks like taehyung in that outfit a bit... i guess i see this card also as... someone who can reveal things that are unknown or someone... having secrets revealed to them which ... fits with the tarot. and then tipping the scales feels more to me about leaning more into one thing right... tipping isn't balance it means one's heavier than the other so it's... being swayed or convinced into something... and surrounded by water could mean... emotions or subconscious... so just... traveling through deeper layers... lots of virgo-scorpio energy here for sure... and then we'll talk about the tarot. in this deck, the 7 of cups is a guy looking at some cups on a beach and there seem to be surprises under each cup that are good and bad and he doesn't know which to choose... but it looks like he's reaching for the one with the water coming out of it... so that just leads us back to emotions or subconscious - that aside, the general feeling is... this is someone who didn't have direction or has to make a choice based on intuition just like we do when picking a pile. in that respect, like - our choices or intuition end up leading us... where we end up, but... if there are greater powers at be who... give us little signals we don't even realize they can certainly "influence" us on which cup to choose... so is that free will? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. good question. didn't jk talk about this in his drunk live? watch that.

with the rest of the cards it feels like so someone "thinks" they made their own choice but they were probably pushed into it by invisible external forces manipulating you from spiritual realms >.> <.<

and that's also possibly the 8 of wands... it's like CHOOSE THIS CUP RIGHT NOW... but this also kind of represents... communication, especially online information... either way... there's a lack of clarity in the seven of cups and then there's this pow of communication or knowledge or ideas in the form of 8 of wands... this may be the spark of interest in spirituality too... a spark to start learning... and so page of swords is someone who then gives into that curiosity and wants more knowledge on the subject, hermit is someone who studies something spiritually or internally or represents literal learning (like college) or... virgos... a literal dumbed down translation is... someone reflecting on what they want to study... having to choose certain online classes at present, which they want to study... what majors they want to study... but really it's about not having clarity on some "subject/topic/thing"... and then ... having the urge to learn about or specifically learning about this topic online probably or... gaining that information through... reading about it or hearing about it or being taught it, etc... overall this just reads like people here are light workers who've engaged in learning about spirituality, who share what they learn and mostly seem to want to help others in a very natural way of simply... being in alignment... like... spirituality when it's... good is... genuinely wanting to help people... not everyone in the community is going to be a good person, mmkay. that's a sad reality... but a lot of people ARE - i mean it's the same as how i view religious people. some religious people are fucking god awful but some are religious bc they believe in those values - like the ones that are just ... be good to people, care about each other... clearly a lot of religious people... don't subscribe to that and pick and choose what they want to apply and skip the basic "don't be a douche" aspect.

same with spiritual folks. they pretend to spread the word and then act like a dickmunch behind the curtains... i'm not saying spiritual or religious people have to be perfect, i mean like... legit doing awful things or having this perspective on spirituality that they're better than others or everyone's against them or... you have to follow THEIR narrative. that's the BIGGEST RED FLAG. if someone is like THIS IS HOW IT IS AND IF YOU DISAGREE BYE - like this blog... like other blogs i would be drawn to if i was ever actually drawn to any on here which i'm not - is think for yourself. i have no answers. i just share what i feel and always leave it open for you to interpret or resonate with or not or follow or not... like i have no control over you and you can come and go as you please. the only thing i put my foot down with is... bad attitude or personality or negativity or abuse of spiritual gifts or abilities... and that's also my own philosophy on what's abuse or negative... there are some things i've read on blogs on here that just... totally disgust me as a reader and i don't get it and yet they have decent followings??? it's like um... don't you see what they're doing??? don't you think that's shady???

but it's up to everyone's own discernment to decide this stuff, i can't force it on other people, i can only curate my own space and protect my energy how's best for me bc well that's just how it works although ideally i would like to help or assist people bc it's the right thing to do. although "right" is subjective... *shrug* idk, if someone falls on the sidewalk, do you walk past or laugh or do you go up to them and ask if they're ok or need help? if a random person messages you online and needs to vent or needs advice, do you listen to them and give them that time? and what makes that "right"... ? idk.

i've had this argument with myself and had to set boundaries on how much i do for others. or sometimes i do help others even tho i'm thinking this is going to bite me in the ass...

tbh in the long run i don't think that being nice or doing the right thing is easy or even rewarding; frankly, i think it's the opposite. so ofc when something is harder to do, less people are going to do it bc a lot of people are lazy and ignorant and selfish. so why would they? what's in it for them? and you know - that's a valid point. why do a thing when there's nothing in it for you? is it logical? no. then why does something inside of us even in the face of that push us to do it anyway. what makes it feel "right" to do so. what is that.

*shrug*

maybe that's what the cards meant by deeper and analyze - it forced me to philosophize on spirituality. I WAS MANIPULATED BY THE UNIVERSE TO TALK ABOUT THESE THINGS FOR UNKNOWN REASONS. damn it universe. universe 1, me 0. well i can take my control back by ending it here and ... thinking about who you'd be in a movie role even if it doesn't really fit like the other two piles did...

I'd think you'd have to be someone in the creative process... like the writer... or someone who has to do all that research to get stuff organized but... the writer does that... you take something that has no shape or clarity, do research, have to do some deep thinking about the ideas... it's communicated... yeah... you're the... screenwriter? Or... what's that other job too... the story boarding person??? yeah. that. i'll add that to the top here.......... good chats. felt like a fucking philosophy class. yuck. gross. who am i, namjoon??

p.s. speaking of synchronicities - for the record, i took the pic of your cards at 10:01 and when i finished your pile, it was 12:21. >.>

#pick a card #tarot #taehyung #birthday #bts #general reading #what role would you play in a movie #but also your spiritual role #spirituality #astrology #too much philosophizing for this time of night #birds hitting windows #weird stuff

[thejustmaiden]

So out of nowhere I was tagged and quoted by a SR shipper for a blog of mine posted in August of last year. Talk about throwback but, hey, gotta appreciate that level of snooping. 😉

Back in the day I actually used to encourage discourse amongst Inuyasha fans- both shippers and antis alike- but I've since realized that it's a lost cause. But for you, @feministmetalgreymon , I'll grant this exception. Just 'cause it's been a while so why the hell not. haha

I want to assure you, however, that nothing you say will ever convince me that Sesshomaru and Rin are meant to be together romantically or that the story intended it so. Nor will you find any validation here. You can ship them for all I care, but please for all that is good and holy while I have your attention try- I mean really try- to understand why it is so many of us Inuyasha fans are so against this pairing in the first place (newsflash: it's not about ship wars), and why we believe a romance between the two of them is completely and utterly out of character.

For those of you interested in reading this, the blog of mine in question that the above shipper mentions in their counter-argument is here for reference. It's titled "Jaken = Rin's Dad?" I'm going to try and keep this short, but I'm also making no such promises. After all, I'm not exactly known for my brevity. haha Now let's get crackin'!

Like you, feministmetalgreymon, did for your recent blog here where you took screenshots of mine to address certain parts, I will be doing the same and dissecting yours accordingly.

[Snippet 1]

I worked with kids for many years as a teacher, and many people in my family have too or still do. Two of them happen to be just over 5 feet which is quite short for the average adult woman living here. I've also worked alongside many a women of short stature, and never did I hear any of them complaining of issues with their students having difficulty differentiating them from their own peers just because they were short as well. I'm sorry but that's just ridiculous. Kids are quite smart and pick up on a lot more than you seem to give them credit for. Height is not the only characteristic they look at to determine who's an adult and who's not, and it's foolish to suggest otherwise. So unless you're a babysitter who's still in their teens and/or who has very childlike features or behavior then I'm afraid what you're getting at is total hogwash. This is just another example of how you shippers offer nothing of real substance to your reasoning, it's only ever cherry-picking or strawmanning from you guys. Stop deflecting from the real issues please, because this certainly isn't one and only winds up being a complete waste of time for all parties involved.

[Snippet 2]

Okay, calm down now. I wasn't insinuating that relationships between parents and children can't change over time in terms of how they get along. Of course that's possible, as all families experience their fair share of estrangement and abuse. What I was speaking about was in reference to the overall dynamic between the two. Because a bad mother or father can still be viewed as a parental figure to their child even if say they're not in said child's life anymore. Since Sesshomaru and Rin share a healthy bond- and just a friendly reminder that in my blog I even said that he doesn't have to necessarily be labeled her father but that a romantic relationship later would still be inappropriate- I didn't deem it necessary to address what you brought up. Plus, it kinda, umm, misses the point?? Please, let's stay on topic. And it's not captured in the screenshot, but stop acting like there isn't a small part of them that idolizes their parents at some point during childhood. Just like you mention later on how it's normal for kids to have innocent crushes on adults that they eventually grow out of? Well, guess what, the same concept applies here. Kids eventually learn that their parents are far from perfect and make mistakes too. Rin is so damn young in the OG series though that we never even get to see her reach that maturity level.

[Snippet 3]

LOL! Alright, okay, so the "unbreakable bond" bit you're mentioning was actually me quoting you sessrinners. Did you not catch that? I literally spelled it out. *sigh* The whole point I was making is that shippers like yourself make hypocritical and contradictory statements all.the.goddamn.time. One moment you guys claim that Sesshomaru and Rin were essentially strangers and meant very little to each other, only to say in the same breath a few seconds later that they were destined to be together and their bond is like no other. I agree, their bond is special, but why must that mean they're going to fall in love?

That is the root of the matter here. Too many animes/mangas have romanticized this older adult man & young girl growing up falling in love trope that it's become way too normalized and widely accepted across the world- and yes, in some cultures more than others. Sadly, you lack the awareness to recognize how this all works. You know how we know that? When we see that you shippers are so desensitized to sexualized images of girls in the media that you share posts like this one below which *subtly* imply a future romance although one half of that pairing is still just a child in the pic and then try and pass it off as cute. That's like super fucking problematic and it scares me that you can't see that (or deny you do). 🤢

After all that's said and done, Sesshomaru leaving Rin in the village with Kaede is to me the strongest indicator more than pretty much anything else he's done for Rin that proves he is her adoptive father. It's so funny to me how you somehow see the exact opposite though. 🤔 What I think is happening is that you got yourself on some squeaky clean ass shipper goggles fresh out of your little echo chamber. Because I hate to tell you, but what you're fantasizing is what you want to see and not what's actually there on screen or was written into the story. I'm strictly talking about Inuyasha and the manga of course. [For the TL; DR version skip to the last paragraph.]

Parents looking after their kids is what parents are supposed to do. A good parent will do anything to keep their child safe and ensure they are cared for, so what he did for her by leaving her there was in her best interests clearly. Besides, as a babysitter, you more than most people should understand that parents aren't always able to be there for their kids so sometimes others gotta step in to help. Haven't you heard of the saying, "it takes a village to raise a child?" Which in Rin's case is literally true! 😂 Sometimes kids are even sent off to stay with grandparents and that's who raises them instead. Or maybe they have to temporarily live with an aunt or uncle because their single parent's job requires they work out of town 4-5 days of the week so they're hardly home. But that doesn't mean that the parents care or love their kids any less, and it's foolish to assume that Sesshomaru must have thought very little of Rin simply due to the fact that he made the decision to leave her in the village. Come on, y'all are acting like he abandoned her there!!

It's just given the circumstances Sesshomaru finally came to learn that Rin traveling with him was no longer safe. I also like to think it's because he wished for her to live a more normal life and to learn how to fully trust humans again. Plus, continuing to travel with him as young as she was would have proven dangerous and unwise. Now for you to know all this and still manage to turn his past actions towards her while she was just a child into a romantic gesture is what boggles my mind. Regardless of how you look at it, from my perspective or your own, Sesshomaru is in the wrong. Either he's a father figure who impregnates his daughter at the young age of approximately 14. OR he's this man she used to travel with who maybe isn't a father to her but who nonetheless basically rapes her since kids her age can't consent to sex with an adult. Idk about you but it sounds to me like nobody here wins with either scenario we're given. In other words, you should be just as mad as we are. If only one side didn't choose to forsake their morals they know we both have in common for the sake of a ship. Welp. 🤷‍♀️

I agree, incest is disgusting but that's not the only problem we have with this pairing. A romantic bond forming between Sesshomaru and Rin would also constitute as grooming.

You realize that over the years he visited her in the village that he brought her gifts too and essentially watched her grow up right before his very eyes, right? I mean, I know you do, but I really shouldn't have to explain further why pursuing a romantic/sexual relationship with each other is plain and simple wrong. And before you say it's not because he didn't have any malintent, please understand that considering their history and power dynamic up to then that yes this is still considered grooming even if Rin supposedly "wanted it" or "made the first move." Whether you consider him her father or not, as the adult who took on a role resembling that of a caretaker in her early life- a critical developmental time for a child- Sesshomaru is obligated to turn down any advances by Rin and most definitely should not initiate any himself. As the first close adult figure she's had in her life since her parents died, it's unfathomable to imagine how Sesshomaru could go through with taking advantage of this young girl who was under his care and supervision since they met. To think he could be capable of betraying that trust sickens me to the core.

This. Now THIS is how a parent/guardian or a similar adult caretaker (babysitter, teacher, etc.) talks to a child. And, in turn, this is how some young children talk to adults. You'd be insane and delusional to deny it! We see it in our everyday lives, do we not? From where else do you think our stories draw most of their inspiration? Yes, obviously these fictional universes have aspects of fantasy that don't exist in the real world, but so how then do you suppose we're able to relate to them? The reason for that being is because these stories are written by people for people, so naturally there are going to be real life aspects embedded throughout. Sure, a little escapism doesn't hurt as we don't need to take everything so seriously, but ultimately we all need to recognize that the messages in the stories we tell matter. Most stories possess a combination of both light and dark themes, but when it specifically comes to the latter we gotta be careful with how we tackle this in children's media since kids are far more impressionable.

So if at the center of a story we have two of the main protagonists whose mom is basically their same age and to top it off she knew their dad when she was just a girl and who just so happened to help raise her, wouldn't you say that's beyond fucked up or at the very least so fucking weird? Like why would we think it's even remotely okay for our children to watch this garbage?? Really think about it. Try and be objective for once and think about how it would sound explaining this storyline to an outsider who's never watched IY or HNY. Well, antis have tried this before many times and we always get the same reaction: Ewww!

Like I said earlier, if you wanna ship it then fine, but 1) please stop seeking our approval or trying to change our minds - your ship wish came true didn't it, so why do you need us to validate it? 2) even though it's not canon, respect that we don't support this sequel portraying pedophilia in a positive light. It's harmful af to not only allow but glorify the continuation of sexualized images of young girls everywhere. And I shouldn't have to say this, but just because this trope is popular as you say does not make it right. Lolicon themes in the media have been an issue forever and it needs to stop. Yes, even some people in Japan or "the East" would agree. Shocker!

We're pissed off and rightfully so because Yashahime's TV rating is 14, not to mention it airs at the prime time kids in Japan watch TV after getting home from school. That's Towa and Setsuna's age, true, but if Rin being the mom when she's like only a year older than them (please don't argue w/ me about the math- antis have so far been right every time with it) is straight-up disgusting and not something we should be supporting or endorsing. Rin's a whole ass child!! Please don't start with the "but times were different then so her having kids at 15 is acceptable" argument either, because we've already debunked that and every other single excuse you guys throw at us. Besides, how or why would you expect young viewers to know these historical "facts" anyway, especially if as you suggest fiction doesn't affect reality so what does it matter? Yet here we are, arguing over a fictional show in real life almost a year and a half into the "Sesshomaru fucks?" sequel being announced. My ass, your ass, hell all our asses fiction doesn't affect reality!

Look, I do apologize if the tone of this blog came off as snippy or condescending at times. I do not wish you any ill will, it's just I'm not really sure what you expected to get out of all this besides maybe getting on my nerves perhaps. haha A lot of you shippers have been desperately scrambling to interact with us, lurking in our tags, jumping onto our posts screaming canon and getting so defensive even though you sought us out first. We've been sticking to our tags, so how about you stay in your lane too. By the way since we're on the topic, have you seen Twitter or Reddit?! SR shippers there are the actual worst and many Inuyasha fans (not just antis) have complained of not feeling welcomed to engage in fandom spaces anymore. Shippers swarm them and scare them off simply because fans don't like your ship and refuse to accept it. It's pathetic, really. No one should ever be bullied or harassed just because they don't like something you might. We're all fans of Inuyasha, aren't we? So let's act like it. Yashahime on the other hand, you guys are welcome to that pungent heap of trash. Fans have a right to criticize it too, but if you like it then good for you, so keep on liking it and don't mind us.

I'm almost done, but real quick back to Jaken! Let's not forget about how the official Yashahime website- which came out after my blog, mind you- described Jaken. This translation isn't the best one available but it's the only version a fellow anti friend could track down. They do recall a better one done by a native Japanese speaker who was also an anti, and that member confirmed that Jaken is indeed called Rin's babysitter. So you see, I was right in my interpretation. In the original post I did compare Jaken to a brother, but after talking to others (some comments can be found under said post) I did acknowledge that he's more of a reluctant babysitter who's not related. And if he's not at least a brother to Rin, then he's definitely not her father.

At the end of the day, the creator Rumiko Takahashi has the final word. Which is guess what? Hogosha. 💖 Probably should've just started out with that and saved us all the trouble, huh? Good day/night to you.

Papamaru bids you adieu now. 🤞

#anti yashahime #anti sessrin #sesshomaru is rin's dad #papamaru #hogosha 💖 #the sequel may not be canon but sunrise can still burn in hell

[noirapocalypto]

5, 7, 9, 10 and 11 for Renato, Paolo and Embry?🥺💚

Thank you!! 💕@faepunkprince

From this OC Interview game.

5. What is your favorite thing to do in your free time?

Renato: "I know it's probably a generic answer, but I like working out and keeping myself in good shape. But other than that, I enjoy spending time with my family or my friends, or just binge watching TV at home."

Paolo: "When I'm not hanging out somewhere with the gang, I'm probably lounging about at home, playing some videogames. A good way to keep me entertained for hours on end."

Embry: "I like to tinker. If I can find some junk laying around, I enjoy taking it apart, figuring out how it works and trying to fix it. I've been working on this busted radio I found the other day, I'm so close to getting it up and running. I also like videogames too, and I like playing with Paolo when I'm crashing at his place. Also, puzzles of any kind. I get lost in those things. I used to always do puzzles with grandma. She used to tell me it kept the mind sharp."

7. Who do you look up to?

Renato: "My uncle Pepe. He was my father figure, the one I could always turn to when I needed a father's love. He's a good family man too. He's the type of man what I want to be like, if I ever decide to settle down and start my own. Pepe has seen me at my worst and he still decided I was worth the love and compassion he showed when he took me in. I'll never forget that."

Paolo: "Both of my parents. But if I had to pick one, I would say my dad. From what I remember of him, he had the same sense of humor as I did. I guess that's where I get it. He was always laughing, always cracking jokes and could find fun anywhere he went. He was just so fun and lively. I guess that's why I'm the way I am, just trying to keep that part of him with him. I think we would have gotten along if he was still alive. I think we would have had a lot of fun together."

Embry: "Can I pick two? My grandparents, without a doubt. They raised me well, raised me to be a proper gentleman to everyone. They were warm and kind, everyone loved them. I always tried to do right by them, and I hope I'm still making them proud."

9. Are you a spiritual person?  If yes, what do you practice?

Renato: "Not really, no. I mean, I think there might be something out there, something bigger than the rest of us. But I don't stress myself too much about it. My family is though, so whenever they want to do a little prayer for me, or read my cards or light a candle for me, I won't say no to it."

Paolo: "No, I'm not. Nothing has happened in either mine or my sister's lives that gave us any faith that there's more to life than what we're dealt with. If there is something out there pulling the strings, kinda fucked up that they did us dirty like that."

Embry: "I don't put much thought into it, but I do think there's some bigger force kinda nudging us to where we need to be, at times. I don't know if I consider that spiritual though. But I do think something has put in me in places that I need to be at that very instant, and has lead me to meet people that I cherish."

10. Where were you born?  Where did you grow up?  Where do you live now?

Renato: "I was born in Nevada, but we didn't last there very long. We moved to Night City when I was still a toddler. Been living here ever since."

Paolo: "Night City, born and raised. Still live here too. Tried getting out once, but NC pulled me back in. Kinda fucked, really."

Embry: "I was born in somewhere near Atlanta. I know we stayed in Georgia for a while before my clan moved on. We normally lingered around the Southern regions before we migrated over to the west coast when I was in my mid twenties. I pretty much live in Night City now. I don't have a permanent place for myself, so I rotate in between my pals and crash at their place."

11. What is your favorite type of media (TV, movie, books, etc)?  Name some specific favorites (which shows, movies, books, etc do you like)!

Renato: "I like TV shows, I often binge watch in one sitting if I can, especially when I have time off from work. I know I basically live through this shit a lot, but I like crime dramas. You know that old ass show Breaking Bad? Still holds up."

Paolo: "I'm gonna have to say movies are probably my go-to. I like horror stuff, things that make me shit my pants and not want to sleep alone. Don't care much for slasher stuff though, gimme those ghosties and ghoulies. I like the Conjuring series. The first one was dope as hell."

Embry: "I'm good with anything really. While I prefer TV and movies, I was pretty much raised on books considering my lifestyle. I like fantasy--like dragons, wizards and all that. I love the Lord of the Rings series, both the books and the movies. When I was a kid, someone told me it was 'too advanced' for me, implying I was too stupid to get it. I believed them for a while until I finally worked up the courage to read the books. I proved them wrong."

#thank you so much!! #sorry this too long! #ᴏᴄ ⋆┊ʀᴇɴᴀᴛᴏ ᴠᴇɴᴛᴜʀᴀ #ᴏᴄ ⋆┊ᴇᴍʙʀʏ ᴇʟʟɪꜱ ᴋɴɪɢʜᴛ #ᴏᴄ ⋆┊ᴘᴀᴏʟᴏ ᴠᴇʟᴀsǫᴜᴇᴢ

[angeltrapz]

sorry if this is random but u said on one of ur posts that corbett was a fave minor saw character which like, same here, so i was wondering if u had any thoughts about what happened to her after she was rescued? love ur blog also

It's not random, don't worry!!! I actually love having the opportunity bc I care abt Corbett very much and I just want her to be happy,, + thank you for the comment abt my blog <33

But um! Regarding Corbett, I find it very unfortunate that we don't see or hear anything abt her after she's rescued by Hoffman in V - thus, it's kind of hard to think abt what happened to her after, as we're not given Any backstory or elaboration whatsoever (for example, I think it would've been amazing to have had her, Diana, Daniel, and Brent from VII at the group therapy meeting in 3D - Daniel and Brent, at least, were actually meant to be there but didn't appear due to time constraints on the actors' parts). Operating off of this info, I kinda like to envision an alternate scenario where the four of them were all present + able to interact during that meeting, because damn it it would've been amazing to have the four of them (who have SO much in common) to have the support of each other!!!

As for what happens to Corbett directly after she's rescued... honestly? I'm not entirely sure. I'd imagine she'd end up in care if she's not got any family willing or able to take her in, but I sort of lean toward the idea of one of her pairs of grandparents - either maternal or paternal, though I like to imagine she visits with the other set if they're still around - gains custody of her and she's able to be placed with people who are familiar to her & that she's somewhat comfortable with.

I think, either way, she struggles a LOT with what happened as she ages; I hc that she and Dylan were actually pretty close, and losing him was obviously a major loss for everyone in her family, but she just felt... lost. She loved her little brother more than anything, spent a majority of her time playing with him, practicing literacy by reading him stories, drawing + colouring with him (she definitely strikes me as the big sister who Wants to have her little brother be involved), and losing him so suddenly and abruptly... it was hard for everyone, but she feels it like a hollow. One day her brother was here, the next he wasn't, and now her mom is hardly home and when she is she's not present and her dad is just growing angrier and angrier and she can't understand these changes.

I genuinely do think Lynn & Jeff were good parents and that they loved their children more than anything, but the loss of a child, especially one so young, is obviously an extremely difficult thing to deal with. It tore them apart both individually and as a couple, and thus their parenting in regards to Corbett suffered. I don't think they were intentionally neglectful, but that was what ended up happening regardless.

So she is this little girl, no more than eight years old or so, and she's already lost her best friend & little brother - her parents don't treat her like they used to, and she doesn't understand why, she just knows something is wrong - and then all of a sudden, after struggling to cope with the loss of her brother, both of her parents are taken from her in one fell swoop and she's left to just... pick up the pieces.

I don't think her grandparents - or anyone, really - are entirely equipped to deal with this tiny Jigsaw-survivor-who-doesn't-really-know-she's-a-Jigsaw-survivor. How do you explain to a little girl that her brother is gone, a serial killer was either directly or indirectly responsible for taking her parents from her, and that she's not getting them back? How do you even begin to put the pieces of the life she knew back together when nothing you could possibly do would make it okay/"fix" it, when you know nothing will ever be the same for her again? I think they struggle with her night terrors, the times she speaks of hearing a woman's voice through the crack in the door locking her into that tiny room, about seeing the pools of blood along the floor while not knowing where they came from, and of the screaming I'm certain she heard at some point.

She can't handle small spaces. She can't sleep with the bedroom door shut anymore and will panic if someone tries. She has to keep her closet door open, too, because she's scared - what if someone comes through and takes her again? (I hc that her method of abduction was pretty similar to what Diana experienced - i.e., a man comes out of the closet and in Diana's case, restrains and gags her - in Corbett's, a man steals her away in the night after putting her to sleep).

I don't think she's as talkative; I think she withdraws, both socially and physically. She hardly speaks, she can often be found staring off into the distance, she has panic attacks during drills, her grades may suffer a little, she has a hard time making friends. Who can understand what she's been through? Who could ever possibly understand the things she's seen, and how can she ever relate to someone else? In her eyes, it's easier to be alone; she doesn't have to explain anything to anyone if she's by herself.

Of course, that's not good for children, and much less so for traumatized children like her who have family that love her, but have no clue where to begin. I do think they get her into counseling - another little hc I have is that there are, eventually, therapists/counselors who work extensively with Jigsaw victims - and I like to think that, once Corbett's begun the healing process and gets to a point where her counselor would like to introduce her to group therapy, she meets Diana Gordon.

There's the obvious as to what they have in common - strange men in their own home, in their own bedroom, either taking them away to hell or putting them through it right there; parents affected severely by Jigsaw, even if Diana's dad is still around (since I don't know where else to put this, I also hc that Lynn & Lawrence were actually pretty friendly - nothing like best friends, and their kids didn't know each other until After, but there's that), and a whole host of issues in the aftermath of surviving Jigsaw that other kids (and most adults) just don't understand.

But beyond that, they're nearly the same age, just a year apart (that's just hc ages kdjklfsd DIana = 5 in 2004, Corbett = 8 in 2008). They both like arts and crafts, and making things with bright colours because that's it's own form of healing, a way of getting away from all the darkness they've experienced. They both love reading and share a lot of favourite series/titles, and they watch a lot of the same shows. And really, they're just two little girls who've been through hell but are able to find the common ground with each other that they've been searching for in everyone else.

They can understand each other, because yeah their scenarios aren't exactly the same, but it's having someone who's lived it too, seen what it was like, that provides a Lot of comfort to them both. I think they definitely talk about their Jigsaw experiences sometimes, just because it feels good to let it out & they feel safe with each other, but more than that they feel safe to be kids with each other, like they should get to be!

ALL THIS TO SAY that I think for a while Corbett struggles, because how can one not having been through what she has, but eventually, she's able to begin healing and makes some friends of her own who end up being in her life for years to come. And eventually, she's able to come to terms with both how her brother's death affected her family, and what Jigsaw had done to both her and her parents. It's not easy, but she's got her family and her friends to support her, so I like to think that eventually Corbett Denlon heals.

#SORRY I WENT OFF OMG I didn't. expect that #anyway fave hc corbett and diana as besties!! please!!! SO much potential #+ daniel matthews and brent abbott being their like. surrogate older siblings kdsjgksd LET THESE KIDS BOND W PPL WHO UNDERSTAND THEM #thank you anon I loved the opportunity to talk abt corbett ;v; I think abt her a lot actually. it just strikes me how young she is #and everything she'd been thru even before jigsaw... that little girl deserves all the love + support in the world #saw #corbett #diana #lynn #jeff #dylan #long post #asks #alternatively: I'm still working out a fic where adam survives he & lawrence adopt corbett and she and diana end up helping each other heal #bc truly. lawrence especially would be at least somewhat equipped to handle a tiny jigsaw survivor considering diana Is One #and there's ways that adam can relate to her that others can't #it's definitely a learning curve for every1 involved though!

[plentyoffandoms]

Soulmates (part 7)

Eddie Kingston x f/Reader

Just like all my other stories, this has not been proofread, but please enjoy.

Gifs & photos do not belong to me.

Warnings: Some swearing.

Masterlist ♡ AEW Masterlist ♡ Soulmates Masterlist ♡ Eddie Kingston Masterlist

Summary: Eddie thought he lost the love of his life all those years ago after cheating on her, but he sees her one day & meets his three teenaged children. This is their story.

Eddie Kingston's POV:

When I got to my place, I knew I had to call my Mom. I wonder if she will even be up right now. I mean it is 10:45 PM. I could just leave her a message.

So I sat in my chair and took a deep breath and hit dial. It rang a few times and I am hoping it will go to voicemail.

"Hello Edward. When were you going to tell me you have children?"

Ohh full name, I'm in deep shit.

"Oh hey Ma, how are you doing?" I said trying to ease the situation.

"Really Edward? I was doing great until I found out through Angie that you had children after her grandson told her."

"Ma, I literally found out just last week and I have been so busy and I was.." She wasn't hearing any of it. She cut me off mid-sentence.

"Too busy to call your parents to say that they have three grand babies? I know we raised you better than that. You're lucky you called because your father and I bought air plane tickets and are coming down this Thursday. It was going to be a surprise."

"Mom, is Dad up? This would be best if I just said this to you two at once."

My mom didn't even answer me, she called for my father and put it on speaker phone.

"Make this quick Eddie. I want to go to bed."

There he is. My mom must of woken him up.

"Mom, Dad, your grandchildren that I just found out about myself, will be 14 years old this year on October 29th."

Pure silence. I only knew they were there because of my dad's heavy breathing.

"Who is the mother Eddie?"

I knew she added up the year and there could be two women. Y/N and the woman who I cheated with.

"Y/N Ma."

"Oh thank goodness."

I explained to the two of them how I came to learn I was a parent.

"Y/N also said to say hi."

"She was always my favourite one. Will she let us see them? Will she let them call us Nana and Papa?"

"Most definitely Ma. She loved you guys."

I now just had to tell Y/N and the kids that my parents are coming down this Thursday.

My parents and I talked for a bit more until they decided it was time for bed.

I tried to fall asleep and it took me a while but I finally did. I woke up earlier than I have been so I sent Y/N a quick text saying I was on my way to her place.

She messaged me back saying she unlocked the door and to just come on in, which I did once I got there.

"Hey sweetheart." I said to her as I saw her sitting in the livingroom, watching some TV.

"Hey handsome." She said to me as I sat on the couch next to her.

"I talked to my parents last night."

"Did you tell them I said hi?"

"I did but I first had to tell them about the kids, which I forgot to do."

Y/N's head swung around to look at me. "You didn't tell your parents about them? How did they take it?"

"I got busy and forgot to call them, but I'm glad I did because they are flying down tomorrow, probably because it is cheaper to fly on a Thursday. They are excited that I have kids. They were actually worried you wouldn't let them meet their grandkids."

"Oh, I feel horrible. I know they would of been the best grandparents to them. The kids are going to be so happy to meet them."

"Speaking of the kids, let us pick them up from school. I said I will pick them this week. Then we can eat lunch and I can head to the Daily's Place. If you want to come, I have four tickets set aside."

"I would love to come and I know they would love to watch you again. Singles match or Tag team?"

I couldn't help but smile. It was a Tag team match. "You will just have to wait and see."

"Okay, I just text them to let them know we are picking them up from school."

It was pretty much time to head out to get them so we took my vehicle. They told me that even though I said their names on TV, that some of the kids still don't believe I am their Dad.

We pulled up infront of the school and I got out of the vehicle and leaned against the passenger side door, talking to Y/N as she put down the window.

I heard the bell ring and a few moments later, the students came out. The ones who recognised me stopped and starred, whispering to their friends.

The students who had no idea who I was were asking their friends who I was.

I couldn't help but smile when I saw my children walk towards me. Val noticed me first and waved and I waved back. The students were watching my every move and noticed I waved to Val.

"Hey Dad. Mom says we are going to lunch?" Des said as he stood infront of me.

"Yeah, and then I have to head to Daily's Place but I got four tickets set aside for tonight. Your mom already said that you can go."

I said as I opened the back door and let them slide in. Once they were in I closed the door.

I waved at at students that were still standing there and got into my vehicle and drove off.

They kids were getting messages from their friends and classmates and the kids couldn't stop talking about it all. Made me happy to see them so happy.

I pulled into Tony D's Pizza & Restaurant parking lot. Man, I am hungry.

The five of us walked into the restaurant and got a two tables. We got three larger pizzas to split between us and some drinks.

The kids talked about their morning at school and I knew this was the perfect moment to bring up that my parents were coming down tomorrow.

"Hey guys. I have some good news."

"You and Mom are going to get married?"

"Where the hell did you get that idea Val? We have had one date!" Y/N said.

"Eh, a girl can hope can't she?" Was all Val said.

"No, that is not the news. My parents are flying down tomorrow and they want to meet you. Your Nana and Papa as they want to be called."

"Tomorrow? Why didn't you tell us sooner? We have to get them a gift." Max said.

"I found out last night Max and yes, they would love that. Now what would be a good gift for them?"

"We will think of something and have it ready for when they get here tomorrow Dad." Des said.

"Okay, I will leave it up to you guys." I said to them.

"What time do you want us there tonight Eddie?" Y/N asked me.

"If you can, head over for 6. Park to the side and let me know you are there. I will come out to meet you so you don't have to go through the lines." Y/N nodded her head at me.

We finished eating and grabbed our left overs. I took the four of them home as I had to leave.

"Behave guys.I will see you all later tonight. Love you."

"Love you Dad." They said as they got out of the vehicle.

I pulled Y/N close to me. "And I will see you later gorgeous." I once again leaned over and gave her a kiss on the lips.

I don't know how I went so long with out kissing her. I still kick myself for letting all this go.

After a few minutes, the two of us separated. "See you later Eddie. I don't want you to be late."

I gave her one last kiss and then she got out of the vehicle. I made sure she got into her house and I was on my way to work.

I went over strategies with Jon. We were up against the Varsity Blondes tonight.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and saw that it was Y/N saying they were there.

I told Jon I would be right back and went to meet my family. I almost stopped in my tracks when I thought about it.

I never thought I would have children, never thought I would find love again. I actually didn't think I would make it this far in life.

But I couldn't keep the smile off my face when I saw my children and Y/N standing with the security guard.

"Dad!" Val said once she noticed me.

"They are with me." I said to the security guard as I waved my kids in and grabbed Y/Ns hand.

The five of us walked down the hallway and Val was almost jumping for joy as she talked.

"After you dropped us off, we went to the mall and got gifts for Nana and Papa. Mom told us that Nana likes snow globes. So we got her a snow globe photo frame with a photo of the three of us in it."

"She will love that." Was all could say as she continued talking. Val must of been excited.

"And we got Papa a beer mug that says Papa bear on it."

"He will probably find that funny and love it."

I saw Cody and Matt walking towards us. "Hi guys. So nice of you to join us tonight. I'm Cody and you must be Y/N."

"Nice to meet you both. Yes I am Y/N." She said as she shook their hands.

"The show is about to start if you want to take your seats."

I called a security guard over to show them their seats so they wouldn't get lost.

"Good luck Dad."

"Be safe."

"Kick their ass Dad." Only my Val would say something like that to me.

"Have fun Eddie." Y/N said as she gave me a quick kiss and followed our kids and security guard to their seats.

"Glad to see things have moved along between the two of you. Nice of her to come." Matt said to me and Cody nodding his head in agreement.

I gave them two the finger as I walked back to Jon and waited for our cue for when our match would start.

It was now time to walk out and boy we made our entrance.

We walked through the crowds cheering our names and Jon made sure to walk by Y/N and the kids, so that way when we went by we could give them high fives.

I wink at Y/N as I went by and she blew me a kiss. This was all caught on camera but I didn't care. I literally felt like I was on top of the world right now.

Jon and I did our match and we won. I shook hands with The Varsity Blondes and went and got showered and changed.

Our match was the second to last match so by the time I was showered and changed, the evening was over.

I left the change room and saw my kids and Y/N talking Brandi and Vickie Guerrero.

Y/N noticed me coming and kindly excused herself and our kids from the conversation.

They all congratulated me and I grabbed Y/N's hand once more so I can show them the way out.

I walked them to their vehicle and said goodnight to each other.

I pulled Y/N into my arms once the kids were in the vehicle.

"Message me when you get home okay?" I asked her.

"I will Eddie. Thank you for today. What time are your parents plane supposed to be here?"

"10:00 AM."

"Want us to come and meet them?"

"You would take the kids out of school?" I asked her.

"Yeah, they aren't going to miss much. Besides imagine your parent's faces when they realise that their grandchildren have come to meet them. To show how excited they are."

"Want to pick you guys up?"

"We can meet you at the main entrance for 9:30 AM. If you picked us up, how would your parents get to your place?"

I didn't even think about that.

"See you at 9:30 AM sweetheart." I said as I gave her a kiss good bye.

"Drive safe." Was all I said as she got into the drivers seat. "You too Eddie."

I got into my vehicle and went straight home. I am so tired. I was just about to unlock my door when I got the message from Y/N saying they got home safe.

I replied back immediately saying the same thing.

I started to tidy up because I knew I wouldn't have time tomorrow morning. My place isn't messy, but just to spruce it up some what.

I know Y/N is putting on a brave face but I also know she feels guilty about keeping the kids from my parents.

I know my parents won't say anything intentional to hurt her, but my Dad has no filter and I do not want Y/N upset.

Part 8

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