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#and I can’t do anything about any of it so I just feel worse but I still have no energy
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I try to answer other people’s call lights if I’m not busy, because if my work is done and I’ve helped out with other people’s work, I can fully commit to slacking off guilt free. And usually what people want is bathroom, snacks, and/or pain meds, all of which are pretty easy to address and if there’s anything too complicated, I can always call the nurse. Anyway, I go answer this call light, and it’s for a patient I don’t know and have never spoken to before. I pop in like “hi can I help you?” as I feel so quietly smug about how Helpful I am being, and the patient goes, “do you know if I’m dying tonight? If I am, I should call my family.”
To be so clear. I was expecting like. a request for a ginger ale. I was not prepared emotionally for a very sick stranger grappling with the angst of potentially imminent death. So I go, “UMMM. I DON’T KNOW. LEMME CHECK WITH YOUR NURSE AND SEE IF SHE KNOWS.” This seemed heinously inadequate in the face of their obvious despair, so I added, “probably not in the next ten minutes if you’re able to sit up and ask, but I can’t make any promises.”
Don’t think that was the ideal follow up sentence. But it didn’t seem to make the patient any sadder than they already were. I used to really live in fear of being the nurse in someone’s anecdote about a wildly inappropriate thing said to them by their nurse. It’s not so much as I’ve gotten over that fear as I’ve accepted that my job thrusts me into a lot of situations where I have to talk about extremely intense topics to the people most intimately affected by those topics, often with no time, no prep, and no information. At this point, I just try my best to ground my inarticulate fumblings in as much genuine care as I can express, and thank God I don’t fuck up worse and more often.
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schemmentigfs · 2 days
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Caught Red-Handed.
paring: melissa schemmenti x reader.
summary: janine accidentally catches you and melissa during a intense making out session at school.
warnings: smut (obviously) public sex, spanking, dirty talk, mommy kink, praises, fingering, swearing, melissa is just a horny motherfucker in this one.
author notes: the winner of the poll! my inspiration for this oneshot came when I was scrolling through my spotify playlist. Or maybe it was an excuse to write another smut featuring melissa & reader. (yeah, definitely the second option.) sorry for the little delay, I was going to post yesterday but I had an exhausting day and forgot it. Just me being me. Anyways, enjoy. 🫶🏻
English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes.
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You lost track of time as you felt your body being pushed into the janitor's closet with some force and urgency. Your back hit a cupboard containing several of Mr Johnson's cleaning products, some falling to the floor on impact. Making a loud noise echo throughout the entire hallway that could alert anyone, but that didn't scare your girlfriend who, unlike you, wasn't scared of the possibility of being caught and continued the makeout session passionately, smirking into your lips.
“We can't—” your insistence and protests are interrupted by a small gasp when Melissa's soft and warm lips deposited small kisses and bites on your neck. Marking and claiming you as hers, with each of the hickeys. For the rest of the week, you would have to wear something to hide those blue and purple marks if you didn't want any of your co-workers to suspect anything. “Babe. Someone might hear us or worse.”
Since you started a serious relationship with the older woman two months ago, it was common for you to have a secret makeout session somewhere at school that would lead to hours of loving or rough sex (it really depended on Melissa's mood) when you got home. But today, she didn't seem in a hurry to go to her place soon. In fact, she had other plans.
She had spent the entire morning teasing you and discreetly flirting with you whenever she got the chance. And instead of being embarrassed like always, you challenged her at lunch saying that she could do better than that. You were quite naive to think she wasn't going to do anything, but here was Melissa Schemmenti about to fuck you senseless and show you who was in charge.
“You just need to be quiet, sweet girl,” she whispers and began to unbutton your blouse. Massaging and squeezing your breasts through the fabric of your bra. “Or everyone will find out how you are a desperate little slut for mommy.”
You throw your head back, losing yourself in the pleasure and sensation. “Mel,” you groaned when when she throwed the fabric on the floor and pinched and licked your nipples. “Please.”
The older woman stops for a second and put a hand on your chin, forcing you to look into her eyes. “Be a good girl and behave, understand?“
Remaining quiet, you pull away slightly, still a little hesitant about getting caught and having sex with Melissa on school grounds. It didn't sound too appropriate, especially in the janitor's closet. “Honey, let’s go home. We can’t do it here.”
A fury is evident in her green eyes and she slaps your ass hard, making you wince and hide your face in her shoulder. “I told ya to behave and not act like a fucking whore.” Another even harder slap. “Do you understand?” she repeats.
The change in her behavior sent shivers throughout your whole body. Melissa was a very possessive and dominant woman, it was obvious and everyone was aware of it. She liked the feeling of power, of being in control and being honest, you liked that side of her. It suited her a lot.
“Yes mommy, I understand. I’ll be good and behave,” you gulped feeling all the excitement go straight to your core.
“That’s my good girl, now shut up and lean against the wall. Don’t make me wait or I will punish you just like last time,” she commands with a harsh tone and you nod, not wanting to be punished for bad behavior (at least not yet.)
Melissa slowly approaches and gives your lips a tender peck, before undoing your jeans and panties in a quick, single movement. Leaving her precious and innocent angel completely naked, ready to be ruined by her. Instantly you wrap one of your legs around her waist. Earning a satisfied hum from the redhead.
“Look at you, my beautiful girl, always so obedient and ready for me,” she parted your folds with her slender fingers, biting her lip as she noticed and spread your wetness. “I've been thinking about it all day, how I was going to destroy you.”
“Please, I need you inside. Please mommy, don’t tease,” you whimper when the redhead presses her thumb on your clit and circles your entrance. The action emitting a trembling moan to fall from your lips.
“It's kind of funny, you know? Earlier you were all confident trying to challenge me,“ she chucked peppering kisses in your entire face to relax you for what was about to happen. “And now you're begging and aching to be touched by mommy.”
After painful seconds, without warning she enters you with three fingers, filling your tight hole deliciously. Barely giving you time to get used to the painful stretching and thrusting in and out of you at a rapid pace. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, Melissa knew exactly where and how to touch you, making you a squirming babbling mess every single time.
“FUCK!” you scream, covering your mouth with one of your hands. “That feels so good..”
She smiles mischievously, enchanted by the way your walls clenched around her fingers. The smell of sex and the sound of your celestial moans filling the room as she curled and pumped her digits, slowly bringing you to climax. Her free hand gripping your hips to keep you steady.
“Do you like this, babygirl? Do you like it when I go deep inside you?” the woman asks while mocking your totally fucked up state — your hair was slightly messy, your neck was covered in love marks and your eyes were wide. A beautiful sight for Melissa. “Answer me and you'll be rewarded.”
“Yes, I love it when you fill me up mommy. You make me feel so good,” your words came out in a whisper, as your breathing seemed increasingly labored and uneven. Your hips moved back and forth in time with the rhythm of her fingers inside you. “Shit,” You cry out as she finds your spongy spot and slows down a little.
As much as Melissa was enjoying watching your face turn into a complete blur of pleasure with each touch, she knew she had to be quick to avoid the risk of Mr. Johnson or anyone else coming in and catching the two of you in such an intimate moment.
“Such a good little girl. C'mon, sweetheart, cum for mommy,” the Italian whispers in your ear, biting your earlobe. “You can do this, princess.”
“I’m gonna—” you meweld, grabbing onto the lapels of her green blazer and trying to hold Melissa close. A warm white liquid ran down your girlfriend's fingers and wrist, your legs were trembling. You instantly wrapped your arms around her neck so you could balance yourself, since you didn't trust your ability to stand without holding on to something. “Holy shit.”
During your high, Melissa whispered sweet nothings and placed a tender kiss on your forehead. “Take a deep breath, amore mio,” she instructed, removing her fingers from you affectionately, once you calmed down.
“Feel better?” you ask with a genuine laugh putting on your clothes again with some difficulty.
“Much better. But I can't wait to get home and bend you in the kitchen counter.” She responds in a seductive tone, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. And you fight the urge to stay there and let her do whatever she wants to you.
God, that fiery redhead would be the death of you.
“Well, I think we better go home right away. To start our long night as soon as possible..” you spoke with a stupid smile and intertwined your fingers together, pulling her so you could leave discreetly.
But the plan backfired when you opened the door and bumped into Janine, who had an expression of complete shock on her face, alternating her gaze between the two of you, letting her bag fall to the floor. “Oh! You were—” she says louder than usual, almost alerting the rest of the crew nearby. Shit, you had been caught.
An uncomfortable silence settles and you hide your face in your hands, mentally cursing yourself for not having convinced Melissa that this was a bad idea. And now it was time to deal with the consequences of the sinful act.
“Don’t say a word, pipsqueak or you’ll regret it.” Melissa threatens, crossing her arms and giving the youngest a deadly glare, in a desperate and failed attempt to intimidate her, but the redhead's flushed cheeks gave away how embarrassed she was by the situation. “I mean it.”
The second grade teacher raises her hands in redemption. “I didn’t mean to interrupt, I swear!” she gives a panicked smile. “I was just in the hallway and I ended up hearing a scream and wanted to check what happened. Guess this explains a lot. So for how long have you been together? Does anyone know besides me? Oh, and are you living together?” Her expression softens and she launches into the questions, seeming to be starting a mini interrogation.
“It’s been two months and no one knows yet, we’re planning to tell everyone soon. And we don’t live together, even though I spend more time at Mel’s house than at mine.” You replied calmly trying to keep up with her quick words.
“That's cute, I'm glad you two are dating. I've always been rooting for you! Seriously.”
After more questions, Janine said goodbye to you. Promising that she wouldn't tell anyone beforehand — this was after another small threat from your girlfriend (of course) who wanted to make sure that wasn't going to happen.
“I thought she would never stop asking questions.” Melissa complains, putting her arm around your waist. “Ready to go?”
“Next time, I'll listen to you about not doing a makeout session on school grounds. It was a bit awkward.” Melissa admits placing a hand on your back. “Ready to go?”
“Always.”
“Oi, lovebirds. Aren’t you forgetting something?” Mr. Johnson asks, catching your attention. Pointing to a squeegee and bucket of water. “You make the mess, you clean it up.” Fuck, apparently you and Melissa weren't going home anytime soon.
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homunculus-argument · 12 hours
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how to forgive others that hurt you? I can’t help to be so filled with spite after experiencing it
That's the neat part: You don't.
If someone hurts you and refuses to aknowledge that they've hurt you, or you know they're going to do that again, you can just stop thinking of them as a person who's capable of choosing to be better. From now on they're like the weather, or chimpanzees - something that's just going to hurt you because of what they are. You won't be disappointed by them if you don't expect any better of them. If a chimp bites you, you can just shrug and think "well, it's a wild animal, what did I expect would happen?"
And the next thing you do is get out of the chimp enclosure and don't go back there again. If you got frostbite the last time you went outdoors in the snow without shoes, because you trusted that the snow wouldn't do that to you, that's unfortunate. But it's worse for you if you keep doing it again and again in hopes that this time the snow won't freeze what's left of your feet.
You don't forgive people who hurt you. You just stop thinking of them as people who are capable of doing better, and protect yourself accordingly.
René Descartes believed that animals do not have souls - that they are machines that have no will of their own, no thoughts, no feelings, no capability to feel true pain, joy or sorrow. They are only clockwork mechanisms made of meat, incapable of doing anything except what they were programmed to do. I don't think that about animals, but that's how I think of my father.
I don't hate him because I didn't think of him as a conscious, thinking and feeling human being who could have done better, and chose not to. He was only a mindless machine made of meat.
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am-i-interrupting · 2 days
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Hi! I love your Hazbin Hotel stuff and I wanted to make a request. If you haven’t done something like this, could you write the Hazbin characters, specifically Vox, Lucifer, Husk, and maybe Lute with an S/O (would prefer fem but G/N is fine) who has bad body dysmorphia? Like, they can never take compliments about their body, always thinking they’re overweight, not eating, etc. If this is too difficult/uncomfortable, totally understand! Would hate to trigger anything. Hope you have a great day/night!
If you like what I’m doing consider tipping me for priority requests & access to characters I don’t usually write for such as Charlie, Valentino, Carmilla, and more.
Husk
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Husk will never compliment you in public after figuring out that you hate to be complimented.
That does not mean that he’ll never compliment you.
He will because he truly thinks you’re beautiful.
He simply elects to do it in private so he will be able to explain to you in length why he disagrees.
He wants you to understand why he loves every single thing about you.
Maybe you don’t agree but he will let you know why he thinks it’s all so beautiful.
He doesn’t try to make you love it all like he does but he will at least try to make you accept that he loves it.
Lucifer
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Lucifer can’t understand why you don’t see your own beauty.
At least at first.
Then he realizes how close self loathing is close to depression and how they can often intertwine and how hypocritical it is to be so befuddled by your lack of understanding of his love of you & your body when he can’t understand how giving people free will is a good thing in any capacity and wow— he was too hard on you and himself.
Hello, something new to unpack with a therapist.
He definitely starts being more understanding after that revelation.
Not that he was ever cruel but he was a lot more insistent on how amazing you are not understanding that his insistence may not help but could make it worse.
It could make you think he was lying, covering up some hidden disdain with an over abundance of praise like he does with sinners who thank him for free will.
He’s not.
Make no mistake. He truly does love and adore you and every single part of you is amazing in his eyes but he understands.
He lets up on his pouring compliments and his combativeness over whether or not he means it.
He still compliments you but he no longer fights with you.
He just says what he thinks and then goes on, ignoring any expression of disbelief with a small, “A difference of opinion.”
Lute
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You cannot dislike her partner.
Not allowed. No one can dislike her amazing partner.
Will spare with you when you disregard her compliments.
She means what she says.
Why would she waste her breath with words that weren’t true when she doesn’t have to?
Everything she says is said because she means it.
You best learn that.
Vox
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No, no, no, no.
You don’t love your body? Unacceptable.
“Velvette! A photo shoot is in order right now!” “I’m busy!” “Well, clear you schedule!”
Velvette actually has a way of making you feel a bit more confident without seeming like she’s trying.
The photo shoot actually goes well even if you refuse to look at the pictures.
Of course, that doesn’t last long because Vox puts them up in his office, just too large and gigantic to ignore.
He has pictures of you everywhere because he loves looking at you.
Will kiss every part of you in front of a mirror while saying why he loves every part and forcing you to look at yourself otherwise he’ll stop. He records the entire thing to watch back later.
If you like what I’m doing consider commissioning me for canon/canon stories AND personalized canon/reader stories.
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cinnamonest · 2 days
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Thinking about terrible terrible boys who use Darling’s social anxiety against themselves
Kaveh who keeps you home because the world is just far too mean, just look at his roommate if you need any reminder. It’s putting himself out there that resulted in his debt, it’s the outside that caused you hurt don’t ever forget. It’s fine, he’ll lavish you enough to fill all you need, you really don’t need any other contact than himself!… and the forced proximity of Alhaitham grrr.
Ayato who keeps bringing you in important social events just to see you cling to him. He doesn’t teach you any etiquette, so you never know what’s socially unacceptable. You stand so close to him, trembling, your voice barely louder than a whisper. It serves as a reminder, see how bad the world is? All of them are vile people. If you run away, who’s to say you won’t end up with someone worse than him? (It’s terrible, how you keep waking these sadistic urges in him. He’s a good man with lots of self restraint but still a man.)
Wriothesley who got you locked up in his office. You complain about boredom, about his behaviour, but he only swat your worries away. He’s not worried about you ever running off, this is an underground prison. Criminals are the only residents, and god knows how many would have enough self control to keep their hands off if he’s not with you. Besides you’ve been here for so long, you have no place on the surface anymore. What would you do, go cry to Neuvillette? Pfff yeah, right. Try saying hello to Clorinde without trembling first.
Yes yes I am FOR this idea, also consider: Kaeya is the top tier candidate for it. He’s already in the top tier of Manipulative Bastardry, but it gets so much worse if he finds a weakness to exploit — and he’s great at sensing those.
He doesn’t mind that you’re introverted. However, he doesn’t just use the situations as opportunities to give you affirmation as a means of comforting you and coaxing you into bonding with him, no, he stoops so much lower than that. Outright taking advantage of it for his own benefit, ensuring he can use every tactic at his disposal to get whatever he wants... except "whatever he wants" actually just tends to be one consistent thing.
In the early stages, where he can pretend he doesn’t know you well enough to be able to feign ignorance to how much it would exhaust you, he makes sure to plan long public outings, watching as your energy quickly drains until you can’t bear another second in the public atmosphere and all but beg him to return home.
This gives him the opportunity to act disappointed (when in reality, he’s overjoyed it’s playing out exactly as planned) — aw, and here he had so many more things he wanted to show you before the night was over, but no worries, it’s fine… no no, it’s fine, really… and now that you’re all nice and feeling guilty, well, that will just make it much easier to coax you into giving him something to compensate for the disappointment you’ve caused once you’re behind closed doors. Maybe you’ll even volunteer it yourself.
But even later on, once he can no longer put on an act of not knowing how easily drained you are, he can still use it against you. Don’t worry, he knows you’re shy and easily tired out, you two can just stay at home tonight… besides, there’s plenty of fun things you can do alone at home, right…? Surely you’ll be able to think of something.
He, however, stoops even lower still, because he’s also willing to exploit your paranoias and insecurities, even if it means hurting you a bit. Part of the reason why you’re so socially withdrawn, he learns, is that you’re afraid of how others perceive you — I’m just annoying them, they all secretly hate me, you say, everyone thinks I’m weird…
And he… doesn’t rush to correct you or anything. Just shrugs.
Ah, who cares what they think? You already have someone who appreciates you as you are, you know.
Not denying it. If anything, it’s a subtle confirmation… he may even throw in a blatant —
Well, sure, they might feel that way, but I don’t. That’s good enough, isn't it? What do you need their attention for...?
— to really drive the point home, and throw in a bit of accusation and guilt for good measure. He likes hearing you immediately panic and stumble over your words as you reassure him that you don't need anyone else... it's adorable, and the ego boost is euphoric.
Honestly, you’re too gullible for your own good, so precious, so cute in how you fall for it so perfectly, effortless on his part. You don’t even hide your reaction in your expression, so transparent and vulnerable, the way your eyes widen with shock and you hang your head and your eyes water, giving him the perfectly opportunity to comfort you and hold you close and assure you it’s okay, they don’t matter, screw them anyway, and so on.
You’re so sweet, so pure. So much so that you almost, almost actually make him feel bad about it. How impressive.
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ryuichirou · 3 days
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Do you think any of the NRC students slept with someone that you wouldn't expect in a heat of the moment situation and never talked about it again? For example people you normally wouldn't ship together or don't see having much interaction but maybe they slept together since they were both in the mood and knew since they don't interact they wouldn't have to worry about bumping into the other and feeling awkward, maybe even multiple times since it's an easy no strings attached
Anon, it’s been days and every time I think about your ask, I focus my entire being on activating 100% of my brain and opening the third eye. A part of me is saying “I don’t know, I think we already ship everyone who could bang even if it’s just for once”, but another part of me is saying “but imagine the juicy gossip?” lol
To be honest, I ended up with a lot of possible options. Not all of them have to happen in the same universe because some of the boys ended up being more promiscuous than they probably would be LOL Also, we do ship some of these couples, to be completely fair.
Ace and Riddle – an accidental hookup, a classic “instant regret” situation. Argued for a long time, got super heated, and then boom, it happened. They didn’t say anything to each other afterwards and started avoiding each other for some time.
Jade and Riddle – I guess this is another accidental hookup? Riddle isn’t sure if this actually happened or Jade is just messing with him. But he is very flustered, confused and isn’t sure if it happened (did it?) because Jade is Floyd’s twin. Would that make things better or much, much worse? In any case, it was a momentary weakness… maybe induces with something that he shouldn’t have drunk.
The devil on my shoulder whispers “Rook and Leona”… And I’m not sure whether I should listen to him or not. The fact that Rook is still very obsessed with Leona suggest that he didn’t get any… But the possibility is never zero. I feel like Rook would.
Jamil could fully go around having sex with random people with 0 strings attached with his unique magic, to be honest LOL But it’s probably too troublesome because it would require him explaining to the hypnotised person what to do. I feel like we talk a lot about Jamil having these arrangements now that I think about it… while someone like Azul would be a regrettable long-term arrangement, someone like Floyd could be a one-time thing. Initially. But then both of them would kind of want to repeat it, so I guess it doesn’t count lol
Oh! Ruggie and Jamil! This would have the most perfect “one-time sex no strings attached” situation in NRC. Both of them are such no bullshit people lol
Epel and Ace both are horny-but-no-homo enough to end up with an arrangement where they would try to hook up once just as a training of sorts (if Ace doesn’t want to go for Deuce for some typical Ace reason). The main reason why it didn’t continue was because both of them were crushing on other people, and this coping situation just didn’t really work for them lol But whatever happened between them is a huge secret.
I can’t think of anything specific for Idia but it would be silly to leave him out, so let’s imagine him somehow getting Kalim’d because he got invited to his dinner party and then the whole thing was a blur. Kalim doesn’t strike me as someone who would have sex with a lot of people, but Idia was so cute that night! He kept saying that he really had to get back home, but his body was saying other things! <3
Sebek is a huge one when it comes to accidental heat-of-the-moment fucks, but he is very bad at never-talking-about it part, so Sebek/Idia wouldn’t work here (he won’t leave poor Idia alone after that lol). Sebek/Jamil would though, as well as Sebek/Leona… in every scenario Sebek is very confused though and is having a hard time keeping it together lol
Malleus is a wild card because I can see him somehow hooking up with Trey; it’s Trey’s energy of a regular guy who ends up fucking the most gorgeous people, I guess. Trey has no idea how and why it happened: was this a blessing? Should he be grateful? I mean, it was very good, but… should he be concerned about the fact that he fucked the future king? Malleus is perfectly satisfied and pleased though, so maybe Trey should be okay…
I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT AZUL AND MALLEUS, these two fucked during the Glorious Masquerade event, this is just a fact. But also it could've happened at any other point, but only once, either as a result of Azul being a total suck-up who really really badly wants to get on Malleus' good side (and what better way to make connections than by fucking a person I guess)...or as a result of Malleus being adventurous and flirty, once again.
I could also see Malleus hooking up with Floyd, and in that case it would be the perfect storm of Malleus feeling adventurous and a bit petty at people who didn’t pay attention to him + Floyd feeling in the mood for some dangerous games. Both of them would be very aware of what’s going on and would go all-out. It was the first time in Floyd’s life his partner didn’t ask him to be slower or gentler, only asked provoking questions, as if to piss him off.
Another person Floyd could end up hooking up with is Vil, but in that case it would be a result of their unresolved sexual tension that’s been building up overtime. Vil could end up hooking up with Jade for the same reason actually, but it would be more of a calculated thing in that case, in a “I know what you’re playing” sense. 
Bonus: Trey has slept with multiple random students on his campus during his first year, but he stopped doing that when Riddle enrolled. With some of them it was Trey’s first time talking to them, and he wasn’t really able to continue the relationship since then, so I guess it kind of counts?? He doesn’t like talking about it though, it ruins his image a little bit lol
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lu-sn · 12 hours
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Arm has a top-secret file that he keeps on a separate partition of his hard drive, locked behind three different password walls. It’s a list of all of the main family’s bodyguards, ranked by how likely they are to be the mole.
(It’s top-secret because he’s not supposed to be looking into this. Chan explicitly ordered him not to.)
There’s a handful of people Arm doesn’t even bother putting on the list. Pol, for one. Pete. Erika. Chan.
By contrast, every single one of Kinn’s personal bodyguards, past and present, is a prime suspect. Kinn’s had a notorious streak of bad luck lately. Four murder attempts in four months cannot be a coincidence.
Ken is just aloof enough that nobody seems to know what he’s up to on his off-days. This rockets him straight to the top of Arm’s list, tied with Big, who has fallen so far out of favor with Kinn that Arm can’t help but wonder if Kinn is doing it on purpose.
And then there’s the name directly under those two.
“Be honest,” he says to Pete one day. They’re sequestered in his armory, but he keeps his voice low: there’s no harm in being careful with matters like this. “Do you think there’s any chance Porsche is the mole?”
Pete is silent for a good, long moment.
“You live with him,” Arm says. “You’ve been on more missions with him than me. If anyone here knows him best, it’s you.”
“There are reasons to suspect him,” Pete says slowly. “A lot of his missions have gone wrong. He didn’t stop that girl from attacking Kinn in the bathroom. The casino stakeout was a mess. The diamond auction was worse.”
“But…?”
Pete sighs. “I don’t know. He’s young. He’s made a lot of mistakes, but he’s improving.”
Arm stares forlornly at his list, cursor blinking innocently next to Porsche’s name. “Pete, I can’t clear his name just because he’s young.”
“No,” Pete concedes. He leans back in his chair, arms crossed behind his head. “But he’s kind, too. He’s principled. He won’t betray people he cares about.”
“And that’s enough? You trust him?”
“I do.”
The knot in Arm’s chest jerks tighter. “But… he’s so likable.”
“Ohhh, right, he’s nice. Never mind. Death by firing squad.”
Arm smiles, sheepish.
“Okay,” Pete says. “So you think he’s tricking us?”
“Shit, Pete, I don’t know,” Arm splutters. “Isn't it possible?”
“I don't think so. Porsche isn't like that.”
Arm considers this, then plops his face into his hand.
“Did you want me to say something else?” Pete says, faintly amused.
“Yes,” Arm groans.
“Why?”
“Because…” Arm trails off.
Because the security of the main family rests on his shoulders. Arm cannot afford to be anything other than objective; he needs to leave Porsche on his list.
But the problem is that Porsche barreled into their lives and immediately made Khun Noo happier than Arm had ever seen before. The problem is that Pol hasn’t been this comfortable around someone since Arm himself. The problem is that Arm vaguely remembers being carried home from Hum Bar by an equally drunk Porsche, who took off his shoes for him and tucked him into bed and grinned brightly over his shoulder before staggering out the door.
The problem is that Arm is biased.
Pete, on the other hand, is the most level-headed person Arm knows. Leaving Porsche’s name on his list wouldn’t feel so terrible if Pete agreed with it.
“I wanted you to give me a reason to keep him on here,” Arm mumbles. “I feel bad. He’s our friend.”
“You’re doing your job,” Pete says sincerely. “There’s no shame in that. But…” He reaches over to pat Arm on the shoulder. “There’s nothing wrong with trusting your gut. If you think he’s innocent, leave him off.”
Arm mulls over this. Then he pokes Pete in the side. “I think I trust your gut more than mine.”
Pete lets out a laugh, incredulous, and pokes Arm back.
-
Later, Arm highlights Porsche’s entry with his cursor and drags it to the bottom of the file. Then he pauses. His hand hovers over the delete button.
He thinks about Pete saying, I trust him. He thinks about what Pete didn’t quite say: you should trust yourself, too.
He hits delete.
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#kpanniversary2024 episode 9 + prompt 9: trust
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beartitled · 2 days
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Can you do some more comics with Francis mosses
I can, but the problem is
That I’m pretty much out of ideas and I’m progressively getting tired of tnmn fandom
Ppl who look at my tags probably noticed that 😓
More of my thoughts under read more for curious ppl
(short answer maybe I will do more, but I desperately need a break from tnmn)
! Just a general warning: this came out kinda long + sort of venty
Originally I planned to do 1 comic drop and move on, but got stuck bc ppl liked tnmn comics and kept asking for more (and still do-)
Generally I don’t mind doing more if the ideas are there, but I want to address this: I’m tired
I know blowing up is usually a good thing and I appreciate people enjoying my stuff
But it’s exhausting to see that tnmn is the only type of content which is relevant, to the point that my own projects or stuff I enjoy are just kinda.. ignored
It’s fair – again my blog is heavily fandom based
(+Tsp were and still is kinda the focus)
But with tnmn fandom it’s a bit… different
Maybe I’m biased and it’s just my negative experience with tiktok comments
Remember this art?
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cleaning up transphobic comments was.. um tough
Again, I get that you can’t be in that neat bubble completely sheltered from negativity
Humans are just assholes by nature really/j
So I was expecting the backlash, but not that much
I think maybe tsp fandom spoiled me a bit (in a good way), bc I got a feeling that everyone in tsp was positive of any lgbt+ headcanons and just generally more supportive
(don’t get me wrong, there ARE problems in tsp community too, taking narrators design controversy into account as one of the examples)
Obviously every fandom always has it’s own issues, show me at least one fandom that didn’t have some sort of meaningless controversy or some sort of problematic people in it
It happens
But it leaves a bad taste in your mouth sometimes
And for me personally it only added to not so pleasant experience
The thing I also noticed, when I interacted with other fandoms
Ppl wrote positive stuff first and foremost, not really asking for anything
Here it’s just “hey more. I want more. Do more. Do this character. Do this. Do more.”
The only reason I kept doing more, because likes, reblogs, views – these comics get a ton of attention
there is a audience to please alright
But this thing comes with a pressure tho
and it shows
so let me illustrate
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This bookcase
Is my shame
Because I was so rushing, I just copied and colour corrected this bookcase from my diploma comic and pasted it here in hopes for the best
💥IT LOOKS HORRIBLE OKAY💥
Usually it’s normal to take materials used in other projects
the not so normal part is
to leave it like that because your stress reducing tea doesn’t work and you don’t really have time to redraw it
my m en ta l s t a t e i s f i n e ah ah h ah ah
Ok but jokes aside: it’s really tempting, to just abandon everything and produce content like some sort of content farm
But I don’t want to, I’m forcing myself and it makes my art worse
Yes it’s subtle, new people won’t even see this
But I’m not improving
And I don’t enjoy just anxiously popping out comics because everyone keeps asking
I can give it my all to something when I’m passionate, but just “hey I’m getting attention” is not the best motivator
Attention like that does get to my head, I know that I will probably give in again and do more, bc I will compare my posts engagement
But what’s the point of recognition, when you feel.. so numb about it…
Sorry for a mountain of text and thank you for ppl who actually took their time to read it
It’s been building up for a while and I feel like people need to know the reason why I’m not so enthusiastic about making “more”
I’m not necessarily completely abandoning this fandom
I still plan to do ask/suggestions event for STP (I’m just making sure I can dedicate my time to it, that’s why it’s taking so long) and I can add tnmn to the mix
Like STP+tnmn kind of deal
But for now – I need a break
At least for a little bit
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blizzardfluffykpop · 3 days
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Scared?
Summary: You’ve been picking your boyfriend up from his haunted house gig, since his car broke down and just because it’s raining doesn’t mean it’s going to be any different, is it? Otherwise known as Changmin takes your mind off of being scared.
Oneshot
Smut, Fluff, Non-idol au, Established Relationship au 
Warnings: Dacryphilia, Slight Corruption kink (not as much as I had wanted), Unprotected sex, Slight hair pulling (m!receiving), Fingering (f!recieving) Use of pet names: Baby (frequently) and Good girl (once). Again, this takes place in a haunted house (afterhours), so everything that comes with that. *And if I missed anything pls lmk!*
Word Count: 2,382
Changmin (Q) X Fem!Reader
[A/n: This takes place in the same world (haunted house) of Fearful First Dates by @jinkoh, and Scaredy-cats by me.]
If you are a minor, please do not read/engage with this post. This is an 18+ work. 
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Since Changmin’s car is in the shop for the week. You’ve been picking him up from his job. He always comes out with a happy little smile before rushing to the passenger door, “Baby! You won’t believe the people I scared today!” You grin as he hops in, telling you about it. You weren’t great with horror or scares. But it brought him joy, so you’d always listen to him as you drove him home. You can’t wait to hear what wild stories he has this time as you call him, letting him know you’re on your way. He answers, “Hey, Baby, since it’s raining, I’m gonna wait inside the building until you get here.” You hum, “Oh, okay, do you want me to pull up to the door?” “No, actually, I was wondering if you could come in so we could wait for the rain to pass together.” You gulp, “Um, Changminnie, you want me to go inside the haunted house?” He cheerily replies, “Yeah!” “Are the others there?” “No.” Well, since there’s no scarers outside of your doting boyfriend, it can’t be that bad, right? You sigh, “I uh, I guess I could come to whatever room you're waiting in…” “Perfect! I’ll see you in a little, then?” You sigh again, “Yeah, I’m pulling up now.”
You park as close to the back entrance as possible, not wanting to walk through the rain even though it’s just a light drizzle. You shake your head as you shut your car door, realizing he could have just rushed to your car. There must be some reason he wants you in there. With a sigh, you decide to be brave and head in instead of calling him to come out. You make it up the steps and open the door, gulping as you move the curtain back. You fill with dread as you take it all in. You've only been in here once before when they were starting to decorate, and now it looks like something out of your worst nightmare. The blood-splattered Victorian wallpaper and Persian rugs make your face twist into disgust. You make the mistake of looking up to notice the netting that wasn’t there the last time and see fake bloody limbs entangled in it. You also notice how the stage lights are on instead of the overhead lights. And while you look up you feel something squish under your foot, causing you to yelp. You recoil in disgust, focusing all of your attention on the rugs as to not step on anything else. It’s somehow worse without the other scarers. No laughter or screams fill the darkened hallways, making it spookier. It feels unsettling to hear the creeks of your steps beneath your feet. You can’t help it as tears prick your eyes as you continue through the haunted house. It was one thing when people were in the building but another when it was empty. It was as if something could come out from the shadows with vicious intent. 
You walk faster as fear starts to set in. You call for Changmin when you hear something dripping. He calls back, and you rush to the room you heard his voice come from. With tears in your eyes, you knock. And he opens the door, “Come on in, baby.” He takes in your appearance as you fling yourself into his arms and sniffle, “Please don’t make me do that alone again.” He asks, “What, were you scared?” You look at him as your tears finally fall from your eyes as you scowl at him, “You already know I was!” He moves his arms from your waist to cup your face in his hands, and asks, “Would you like me to take your mind off the scary things?” You scrunch your nose at him, “How so?” He smirks, “I have an idea or two since we’re the only ones here and all~” He brings his lips to yours as he asks, “What do you say?” You sniffle again as you whisper, “Please.” He smirks as he kisses you, “Good girl.” 
When he pulls away, he twists you around after shutting the door, and you catch a glimpse of the cushy-looking bed, “Is this okay?” You nod as you shake off your jacket before he looks over his shoulder to see the camera’s watchful eyes. “Hold on one second, baby.” He finds some masking tape and rips it off with his teeth. He mumbles, “Jacob if you only knew what real fun was…” Before returning to you, asking rhetorically, “So, where were we?” You smile, “The part where you kiss me before pushing me backwards.” He smirks, winking at you as he says, “Right.” He tilts your chin up, gently kissing your lips before licking your bottom lip. You part your lips, and his tongue eagerly slips in before pushing you back onto the bed. He pulls away, giggling at the sight of you, “You always look so cute all sprawled out for me~” He climbs over you, and you wrap your arms around his neck to bring him to you and kiss him deeply. Your fingers find their way into his hair, tugging on it, making him groan into the kiss. And before you can do anything else, he pulls away from your lips. You pout at him, and he giggles before giving you another peck before kissing down your neck, nipping at spots as he makes his way to the collar of your shirt. His hands crawl under your shirt, sending shivers up your spine. You lift your arms over your head, and he slips it off of you before reattaching his lips to your collarbone. He nips until you groan out, and he sucks on the spot until it becomes red. He makes a few more marks before pulling away, satisfied. You smile at him, and he brings you in for another kiss. 
You tug on his shirt, and when your lips part, he throws it up and over his head. You smile as you run your fingers down his chest and make quick work of his pants. He kicks them off before he undoes your jeans and slips them off you, slowly kissing your thighs as he goes, “You’re so pretty.” You blush as he comes back up to kiss you again. He whispers against your lips, “My cute little baby.” You peck his lips before his voice drops an octave, “I can’t wait to ruin you.” You rut your clothed hips into his as he asks, “What do you want, baby?” Already knowing the answer as you tell him, “You… Please…” He hooks his fingers underneath your underwear, slipping them off of you before rubbing his first two fingers along your entrance, “Fuck, you’re so wet for me.” Before slipping a finger in, seeing that you can take two, he slips in another, and you close your eyes, moaning as he curls his fingers inside you. He thrusts his fingers in a few more times before slipping his fingers out. You open your eyes, blinking at him in confusion at the loss of pleasure. Just to watch him pop his fingers into his mouth. He hums as he pulls them out, “You always taste so sweet.” He hovers over you, looking deeply into your eyes as he whispers, “Wanna see for yourself?” You hum, and he kisses you deeply, and you taste yourself on his tongue. You let out a little groan as he pulls away from your lips, a trail of saliva connecting you two. Both of you groan at the sight before it breaks, and he finally slips his briefs off. 
His cock springs free, hitting his abdomen before he runs it along your folds. He rolls his hips against yours, causing you both to groan. Before he finally lines up with your entrances and slips in, you both moan at the feeling of him slowly filling you up. When he finally bottoms out, he groans, “You take me so well, baby…” He kisses you, taking your breath away as he starts slowly moving in and out of you. When he pulls away, you moan out his name. He nips at your lips as he starts setting a pace. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him to you until he drops his forearms on either side of you. You smile at him, and he grins back before you pull him in for a rough kiss. Your lips mashing together as he thrusts inside of you. You tug on his hair, finally getting what you want as he groans into your mouth, and you can swipe your tongue over his. You savor the kiss before he parts, and you pout as he looks into your eyes. “How can you look so innocent and sweet when you’re taking all of me.” He pauses his thrusts to whisper to you, “You just make me want to fuck you that much harder.” He pulls away to pepper kisses along your jaw, making you sigh contentedly as he starts thrusting into you faster. 
He effectively calms you down from your earlier fright. That is until you hear something creaking along the hallway outside the room. Your eyes grow wide as you gulp, “W-what was that?” He groans as he thrusts into you harder before answering, “Oh…” He pauses, “It was just sounds of the building settling. It’s okay. Don’t be scared.” He leans in next to your ear to whisper, “I’ll protect you.” You give him a small nod before he resumes, and he starts whispering sweet nothings in your ear, “You are always so good to me…” You groan as his thrusts become rougher, as he adjusts one of his hands to hold your waist. And you hear the creaking noises again. This time closer to the door, the sound starts to freak you out, causing you to shiver, and he moans at the feeling. And whether it was from the creaking or Changmin groaning sweet nothings into your ear as he thrusts into you. You're not sure, but you start tearing up again. He looks up from your jaw to see the tears starting to streak your cheeks. He groans loudly at the sight, “Sh-shit, you look so pretty when you cry…” You sob, and he asks, “Are you scared, baby?” Pulling out before slamming back in to ask, “Or are you so fucked out you can’t control your tears?” You whine as he starts kissing your tears away, “C-Chang-min… Please…” He glares, “Which is it?” And you moan as you try to meet his thrusts, “B-Both…” He smirks as he moves his fingers from holding your waist in place to rubbing your clit, causing you to cry out his name, “That’s it, baby. Cry for me.” 
You cry out harder as he rubs faster, “I-I’m close, Ji…” He smirks and puts more pressure on your clit as rubs circles over it, “Come on, baby, cum for me.” You cry harder as you hit your high, cumming all over his cock. He groans at the feeling of your walls convulsing around him. He groans, “(Y/n)... (Y/n), fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He looks over your tear-stained cheeks as he pulls his hand away from your clit. “Fuck… You’re so cute.” His hips stutter into yours as he cums. He wipes his hand on the duvet before wiping the remaining tears on your cheeks away. He asks, “You okay? I didn’t go too hard on you, did I?” You shake your head, “No.” He smiles as he gives you a gentle peck, “Good.” He lays gently over you as he tells you, “You did so well for me.” You take a second to catch your breath before asking, “Crying?” He turns red as he whispers, “Yeah…” against your skin. You giggle at him as you pull his face to yours, “You should have said so sooner.” You pull him in for a kiss, basking in the feeling. When he parts from your lips, he slips out. You both shudder at the feeling, making you both laugh. He lays beside you, looking at you fondly, “You’re so lovely.” You grin, “And tired.” He laughs, and you kiss his nose, “Thanks for distracting me from the horrors.” He smirks, “If this is what you need to distract you from horror, you should pick me up from inside more often.” You squint at him, “Don’t push your luck.” The two of you laugh before settling into a comfortable silence. 
After lying there quietly for a while, just soaking in the ambiance, he gets up, cleaning the both of you up before helping you get dressed. He pulls on his shirt and pants before heading to the camera, taking off the masking tape. You join him as he waves at the camera, and you both stick your tongue out at it. Before he puts his hand out for you to take, and you slip your hand in his. He holds your hand tightly, and you bury your face into his shoulder as you walk back out of the haunted house together. He asks, “Baby, are you scared?” You shake your head ‘yes’ into his shoulder, and he says, “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.” He walks you to the door, with no surprise scares along the way. 
He pulls back the curtain and lets you out first. With the rain no longer coming down, you hand him over your keys. He opens your door and helps you in, buckling your seatbelt and shutting your door before heading to the driver’s side. He looks over and sees your pout, “You didn’t kiss me as you buckled me in.” He giggles as he puts the key in the ignition, turning towards you before gently kissing your swollen lips, “Better?” You hum as he turns the engine over. He asks, “Yours or mine?” “Yours if you promise ‘your kids’ will stay in the kitchen…” He laughs, “Our kids… But yeah, I’m sure they’ll be on their best behavior since you’ll be home.” You roll your eyes but give him a small smile, “Yeah… And if you say so.” He puts his hand on your thigh, squeezing it lightly before telling you, “Yeah, I do.”
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miradorjake · 11 months
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pissfizz · 15 days
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I’m going to lose my mind oh my god I am so scared for this quincenera wtf
#NOT MINE BTW I MISSED MY CHANCE LMAO#but Jesus Christ family I’ve never met before flying in from Panama…. god I’m so scared#I’ve already been dealing with some wack ass imposter syndrome ass shit cuz of how I was raised this is gonna make it SO MUCH worse#I DIDNT EVEN KNOW PANAMANIANS GOT QUINCES#i was raised with almost zero influence from any culture whatsoever I wasn’t even raised close to that side of the family#and like I’m mixed with white but I can’t even use that as an excuse cuz the cousin who’s quince it is is also mixed#and that side of the family is super tied to the culture and they speak Spanish and shit#i don’t even speak Spanish even if the family from Panama doesn’t think ima. total embarrassment what if most of them don’t speak english#when I’m surrounded by white people 24/7 I feel like a total outlier but the second I’m around anyone else latine I feel like that but WORSE#i don’t speak Spanish I don’t know anything about the culture I’m from the fucking pacific northwest and do digital art and watch anime#i am so far completely removed from everything I’m gonna be sick#my grandma is already so judgy about stuff my uncle was even WORSE and made fun of the stuff that was too white or too American about me#my cousins throwing the party are the least of my worries cuz at least their mixed and second/third Gen too#but oh my god the family I’ve never met before I’m so scared I’m so scared#i was already thinking like. can I even call myself latine bc of how I was raised and how far removed I am from everything. I’m mixed so -#-should I just associate myself more with the white side of my family. am I being fraudulent by identifying with that term just bc I have -#-the blood is that even enough maybe that kid had a point when he said I shouldn’t count as hispanic if I don’t know spanish#and thinking about showing up to my cousins quince as. me. it’s terrifying it’s awful I want to go I want to meet these people I want to -#-celebrate my cousin and be happy for her but GOD what if everyone hates us and just tolerates us cuz we’re related to them#i would say we’re the black sheep of the family but I feel like white is more fitting cuz I feel like we’re just slightly brown white people#god god god I’m so stresssd out by this#is this a weird thing to be worried about is this stupid is this selfish#and to make matters worse I DONT KNOW WHAT TO GET HER FOR A GIRT#vent
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myname-isnia · 23 days
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I always forget just how many love songs I have in my playlist until I’m having an ultra-love-repulsed day and have to try my best to contain my breakdown until I get home
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szczylpierdolony · 26 days
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life is falling through my fingers more that usually
#i’ve been in a pretty much constant state of panic since january#and it’s gotten worse recently bc of 1. thesis writing (or lack thereof)#2. administrative problems at uni that i caused due to the constant state of anxiety and depression#like whyyyy do things like going to the uni office send me spiraling like nothing else#and i’ve been feeling weird and disconnected for a while now and nothing seems to interest me anymore#like i’m light headed in the worst way and i think if one thing goes badly i’ll genuinely fall down crying#and i can’t seem to do anything productive bc of the anxiety either#ok i checked usos. the administrative problem got more or less solved#oh thank god#i love depression loveee it love causing problems for myself that i later have to bother other people about bc i can’t solve them by myself#esp when you have to admit to them that mental illness is what caused them bc even when they’re sympathetic and nice about it i still feel#like such a pathetic idiot my god#also i’ve been thinking a lot abt how a pattern that repeats in my life is the lack of closure#from silly things to more serious ones#like how i didn’t attend my elementary school graduation nor the hs one#the first one bc of travelling and the second bc of covid#so i just closed my laptop and then went to pick up my diploma after matura results and that was it i never saw any of my teachers or#thanked them etc#and how all my friendships that died out were this kind of sudden drop like nothing happened but we just stopped talking one day and that#was it and idk where we stand#and how i seem to leave loose threads everywhere i go and i can’t tell if it’s just a coincidence or if i do that on purpose but#unconciously so as to not have to deal with things ending bc that scares me#i’ve never felt grounded in any moment and it’s so strange#also yeah yeah weird behaviour meant to save me from abandonment whatever#📓#niedziela wieczór i humor popsuty co mogę powiedzieć
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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
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airsigh · 6 months
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no1ryomafan · 3 months
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The urge to not be the most annoying person ever when Gurren Lagann is mentioned by anyone randomly and I get the urge to scream “DID YOU KNOW GETTER ROBO IS A INFLUENCE ON IT” because every instance it’s always unprompted, probably not getting the person interested and it’s not like I even watched Gurren to make justifiable comparisons nor do I know when the fuck I will.
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