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yourcoolfriendwithallthecandy · 3 years

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Why So Jaded Chapter 7

FFN, AO3

Chapter 7

Violet woke up actually feeling happy as the imagery of her dream washed over her conscious memory which brought a small smile to her face. But then she heard a groan from Phillip and her smile vanished as she felt anger and rage start to build once again.

She got out of bed and went over to Phillip to see him stirring awake before she took the monitor off of him and put it back where it belonged before she came back and sat on the bed next to him as he went through is process of regaining consciousness before she called for room service for breakfast for herself and her team and knew that dealing with Phillip this morning would be especially bad as she weighed whether or not to wage war with him now or later as she decided that later would probably be best, when he wouldn’t be suffering through withdrawals again because Phillip had quite the history with cocaine especially and it had taken him getting clean as one of her terms for accepting to work for him. Because the chances of him relapsing had been so low and now they were especially high.

27 minutes.

He had done this in 27 minutes. After a year of keeping clean and all those promises of staying that way. All gone. In 27 minutes. That were sadly, the best 27 minutes of this whole trip for her. But it taught her to never let her guard down. And to not trust Phillip as far as she could kick him as she once again, made up her mind that she was never going to enjoy a romantic relationship with him. Never ever. And it was because of this shit right here.

Then Phillip cracked an eye open to see her sitting up in bed, her face was twisted into one of angry disgust but determination as his own memory of last night’s events before his all too brief high came back to him and he exhaled loudly with a wince before Violet turned and considered him.

“Good morning Mr. Sebastian.” Violet greeted coldly with a look that would freeze lava.

“Ok, on a scale of 1 being a funny haha ‘we’re gonna look back on this and laugh’ and ten being you’re gonna kill me and collect my inheritance, where are we?” Phillip asked with a grimace as he woke up.

“Oh a solid 8.5.” Violet answered.

“Fuck.” Phillip grunted before he sat up in bed and rested his back on the headboard next to her.

“Did you order breakfast yet? Can I at least get some coffee before you hand me my ass?” Phillip asked.

“I’m not going to hand you your ass Mr. Sebastian. It’s not my place as your handler to do such things. Now when you fully wake up and recover, I will recount last night’s events to you and explain to you exactly all the ways they crossed all the lines of propriety and decorum and then I’m going to absolutely insist that- that stunt you pulled last night was your big test. That Mr. Pine passed with flying colors and any further “testing” by you will result in my immediate termination of employment.” Violet answered.

“No. Please Violet. No. I’m sorry. Ok? I’m sorry, it was just a bad cheap joke. I will take whatever you want to throw at me if it’ll mean you don’t go back to pure asset and handler again. It can’t be that bad. Please. I will get down on my hands and knees and beg if I have to.” Phillip pleaded.

“No such measures will be taken. They are not acceptable terms.” Violet insisted before she heard the knock at the door and went and got it and brought in the breakfast cart and brought it over.

“What would you like for breakfast Mr. Sebastian?” Violet asked.

“Nooo...come on Violet. Just...come on, hit me with all of it, take it out on me. Look I admit, this was on me. I’m sorry. I know I broke my promise to you and I will make it up to you.” Phillip pleaded.

“No, last night was on me. I take full responsibility for the incident. Technically I should fire myself for the lapse in judgement. I’m just happy I won enough last night in the casino to pay for it in cash so I didn’t have to have any other evidence of last night, other than my memory and the cocaine in your body.” Violet answered as she dutifully fixed him a plate and handed it to him on a tray in his lap.

“So, what I need from you is confirmation that no other tests will be administered on Mr. Pine and that you will honor my agreement as set forth in the recording.” Violet offered.

“Of course. But Violet please, please tell me how to make this right.” Phillip begged.

“Mr. Sebastian, words can not fully describe the mortification I felt at seeing my own knock off image in the form of a prostitute and then to have said prostitute offered up to Mr. Pine on a silver platter, it was pure entrapment and you know it. But if that wasn’t enough, I also had to see the same thing in the form of my most cherished mentor. That completely humiliated me in addition to Mr. Pine. But for now, let’s leave him out of it. Let’s keep this with me. I wasn’t by your side for a whole 27 minutes. I had just enough time to go to the bar on the roof and get a drink and then I had to come right back down. I had Veronica inject you with Narcan. I had to scrub not only the room and you but I had to scrub the last 24 hours from two prostitutes to bury the evidence. Thankfully Patrice and Julie are trusted and vetted and were happy to just get paid off. They had to tie you to the bed to keep you from taking your own life again because you were convinced you were a Super yourself and could fly. You tried jumping off the balcony and those two “gifts” that you got Mr. Pine, tried to help you do it too. They also had to be forcibly restrained while getting scrubbed. Your stunt to catch Mr. Pine in a compromising situation, ended up compromising me and it blew up in my face and it illustrated beyond the shadow of a doubt that I have become way too lax in my job because you were in so much danger. And I broke my own promise to protect you and keep you out of harm’s way. And for that I’m sorry.” Violet specified, trying to keep her rage in check but her sadness was so palpable that Phillip felt remorse that it effectively backfired in spectacular fashion before she sat down in a nearby chair and got her own breakfast before Phillip’s security came and got the rest and took it out into the rest of the suite so Violet and Phillip could keep their privacy.

“So now I want to know why you did it. What were your reasons for it?” Violet pressed.

“I just...I wanted you to lose respect for him. I thought he would jump at the chance to relieve any frustrations he may have been having and if I can get him to relapse, he would be breaking his own contract trying to get drugs into SEB. And I wanted to see if he still harbored feelings for Natalia or had developed any for you.” Phillip confessed.

“Well, it backfired, spectacularly. Because the only one who lost respect is you- from me. Second, you’re the one who ended up relapsing. And you’re the one who broke your own contract with me about remaining clean, which technically, means I can now walk away from you and it turns our contract null and void and we are in Vegas at a tech expo, I could, in theory go to any number of your competitors and get the same job I have for them and there would be nothing you could do about it. And if anything this proved you wrong in every aspect you were trying to test. Because Mr. Pine reacted flawlessly. He stopped, he relied on his own security team which they are all thanking their lucky stars that they weren’t involved and he politely but firmly refused the gift and I should have sent that gift packing and been done with it. But instead, I was feeling spiteful because you were sulking and pouting like a toddler for whatever reasons you have for doing so- which pissed me off but it’s my job as your handler to coddle you and cater to you despite however I feel about it. And I let my own personal feelings cloud my judgement which was a very stupid and frankly rookie mistake. And you know me, I rarely let myself repeat the same mistake twice so this mistake will never be repeated.” Violet insisted firmly.

“So, how you can make up for this- is you are going to honor our agreement we made just as we were leaving, and agree that the stunt last night was your big perfect test for him and admit that he passed and then you are never going to test him again because guess what, I got him to admit it to my face that he looks at me as Mirage 2.0 which means that Objective Natalia has been a success and you’re going to approve weekly outings for him. And then what you’re going to do to make it up to me- is you are going to take the noncompete out of my contract and then you’re going to have to earn my trust and respect back piece by piece and inch by inch to get us back to where we were before this fiasco because while I want to write this off as a dirty trick gone wrong. My hurt and my mortification sting way too badly right now and my own ability to trust you took a big hit because I couldn’t trust you to honor your promise to me to never do drugs again because all it took was 27 minutes. In 27 minutes you have undone a year’s worth of trust building Phillip and I don’t know how long it will take you to earn it back because you know I'm a once bitten twice shy kind of person and I sincerely doubt it was worth it because the Narcan should have reversed it into your system. And my guard is back up and it’s going to take a lot from you to get it to come back down for you.” Violet decided, calmly but firmly and the more she talked, the more her anger dissipated but she still knew that Phillip was using his powers to ease the anger and the rage to push her to forgive him, and for that, her own resentment towards him just grew because the more he used his “secret” powers and the longer it took for him to admit it. The more she distrusted him as Violet and it just pushed her to stay in “Invisigirl” mode with him.

“That’s fair, I’m so sorry Violet. I never considered how this could backfire and I never would have done it if I thought, much less knew this would come back to you in any way. And I’m sorry and again, this is on me, I take full responsibility for this and please don’t let this become the thing that breaks us and losing your trust and your respect is worse than breaking any contract and if there’s anything else I can do to make it up to you, just say the word.” Phillip apologized. Which Violet appreciated.

“God damn it.” Violet huffed as she got up went over to the bed and got settled in next to him and figured she could give him an out to confess to more.

“Why is it almost impossible for me to stay mad at you?” Violet questioned which got Phillip to smile in relief.

“I don’t know, but I’m grateful for whatever it is.” Phillip assured her as he carefully wrapped his arm around her shoulders but grinned when she snuggled into his side as Violet could only feel disappointment that even though he didn’t have anything else to lose, he still wouldn’t admit the truth.

“So what’s the number now?” Phillip bravely inquired.

“A five.” Violet honestly answered.

“Ok, well let me know what I can do to lesson it to a one or two.” Phillip answered.

“Will do Phillip.” Violet answered which got him to grin because she was calling him by his name again.

Violet didn’t have to wait for long. Because once they got dressed and ready for the day and met back up at the Expo, Buddy called out to her.

“Ms. Parr?” Buddy called when she passed him as he walked away from his friends to talk with her one on one.

“Yes Mr. Pine?” Violet asked.

“Hey so my friends would really like to come and pay me a social visit at SEB, is there any way we could try to work something out?” Buddy asked hopefully, even though he had prepared himself for her to say no but Violet just smiled happily.

“Of course Mr. Pine, I’ll handle it personally, granted there will be some protocols that would need to be followed by you and your guests but yes, that can be arranged, simply give me the times and dates according to your knowledge and I’ll arrange it.” Violet answered.

“Really? Why?” Buddy asked before Violet stepped closer.

“To help you forget that the incident last night never occurred and if it would help everyone save face.” Violet answered. “You haven’t said anything to anyone about it have you?” Violet asked worriedly.

“Oh God no. No. No. Never, I’ll happily take that to my grave.” Buddy eagerly assured her.

“Then we have a deal.” Violet offered her hand for him to shake before he took and shook it firmly.

“See you at the announcement Mr. Pine.” Violet offered sweetly before she excused herself and went back to Phillip’s side.

“I found a way to make the situation last night right and a way that everyone can save face.” Violet murmured quietly to Phillip.

“I’m all ears.” Phillip eagerly answered.

“In exchange for Mr. Pine to completely forget about the incident last night and take what could possibly remain to his grave, which was my condition for his request after hearing it because Mr. Pine would never blackmail you because blackmailing you means blackmailing me and he could never bring himself to do that because of 2.0, but if we fulfill this request- we’re back where we were before we left to come here.” Violet began.

“What’s the request?” Phillip asked.

“Mr. Pine would like his friends to come and visit him socially, I warned him that there would be protocols that they would all have to adhere to, like no discussing business or revealing any confidential, proprietary information or property or projects, that kind of thing. And that they would have to be vetted and submit to safety measures.” Violet dictated.

“And that would bring my five to a one. If you’d agree to it.” Violet added as extra incentive.

“Done deal.” Phillip happily agreed, grateful it wasn’t any more worse than it was and if that’s all it would take to get them back to where they were before they left, he’d happily agree.

“And if it would take that one to a zero, I’d be willing to make it a regular thing.” Phillip offered. “Deal and done Phillip.” Violet cooed before Phillip snuck a quick kiss to her temple which got her to blush and smile bashfully and crinkle her nose at him for the PDA since they were surrounded by people but Phillip just beamed a cheesy smile of his own.

The announcement of the collaboration was received well and true to Violet’s predictions and intentions it garnered a lot of positive press for both of them.

“Mr. Sebastian, care to comment about the recent photos that came out showing you in a private moment in the hotel’s swimming pool with a close colleague, is there a romance blossoming between you? Is this the rumored girlfriend that we have seen by your side repeatedly for the last year?” A reporter asked before Violet did a quick search as she stood behind the scenes and found the pictures in a tabloid and sent them to Phillip’s own tablet in front of him that had all the press release announcements and talking points on it.

“No. As always, my personal life is personal and no business of yours or anyone else and I will not be taking any more questions on the topic.” Phillip said simply as Buddy looked up the pictures on his own tablet quickly and found them.

“Mr. Pine? Do you have any comment on…?”

“No I do not. And I would also appreciate it if this conference could get back on track.” Buddy insisted before he steered the conversation back to the technology and why they were there which Violet was grateful for.

Once the expo was over and they had gotten back, he was grateful Violet stayed and helped him settle back in.

“How often does that happen?” Buddy asked.

“How often does what happen?” Violet asked as she hung up his suits in his walk in closet for him.

“How often does your relationship with Phillip get questioned by the media?” Buddy specified.

“Every single time he speaks to the press.” Violet answered.

“Doesn’t Phillip care that every time the media gets your picture and knows your name because you are working for him under your name and not a pseudonym that- that puts you at risk of being found out?” Buddy questioned, feeling a surge of protectiveness.

“It was part of the contract that I work for him under my own name. Because he wanted to make sure that he was getting the real deal and the genuine article and "all of me" and 100% transparency and if anything ever happened to him, that I wouldn’t have any confusion trying collect payments as someone other than myself and my family because I’m actually in his will. Which works out, because it does make things a whole lot more simpler in real life instead of having to answer by a different name and identity. All I have to watch out for is not using my powers in front of people who don’t already know the truth but among Phillip’s closest friends, they all know who I am and who I really am and they know that I’m his own private personal Super who's on constant retainer and if they cross him, they deal with me which is all the deterrent I need to be for most of them and I’m not the only one in my position. More and more of the rich and famous have learned that they can just rent or buy their own Super, either on their own, which makes finding them in the first place difficult. Or they just go to the source- aka The Agency and get one from there because more and more The Agency has turned into "Rent-A-Center for Supers". And as long as Invisigirl isn’t caught with Phillip in any compromising situations, because all Invisigirl is- is a ghost anymore, and all anyone has ever seen of me as her is when I was a teenager in my old suit and not in my current super suit or any other super suit I've had since then, and I've had a lot of them. How you recognized me in my new suit, was a surprise, but one that I appreciate that you keep to yourself and don’t breathe a word to anyone, which is a protection in of itself. Most people just think I’m some other Super when and if they ever see me as her anymore, like Black Widow or Shadow or DejaVu or Mirror or any number of them, but those are usually the most popular. So, yes it’s a risk, but it’s also a hassle I don’t have to add to my already full plate. Besides, in two years, it won’t matter. And every rumor that springs up, only keeps Phillip in the spotlight that much longer, which is something I think he would die if he had to go without.” Violet appraised as she just continued to put his things away, neatly and orderly as Buddy just helped her, handing her his things and watching in awed adoration how wonderful it was to see her be so down to earth and domestic, being barefoot in his closet since her heels had been kicked off by the door and had him hoping and praying that while they were both at SEB that that wasn’t the only time he would ever enjoy this as the emerald necklace he had managed to get for her practically burned a hole in his pocket.

Nelson had gotten it for him because out of all the people that were on Buddy’s team, Buddy and Nelson got along the most and Nelson was secretly shipping his boss with Buddy because he had noticed the marked change in Violet whenever she was on “Buddy duty” and he liked how nice and sweet she was whenever she got to spend time with Buddy and it was Nelson who secretly suggested to Buddy to get her an emerald necklace after what had happened at the black jack table and Buddy had simply given Nelson the vast majority of his winnings to buy what Nelson would think she would like since Nelson knew Violet better than Buddy did and what Nelson had come back with- made Buddy so happy. It was on the small side, so it wasn’t gaudy or too flashy for Violet’s tastes, something she could wear everyday and feel special in without drawing too much attention by anyone but the very observant.

“Actually, with how little I get to see my parents now, even though we all live right here in Metroville and they only live across town, they usually use the tabloids to figure out where I am and what I’m up to.” Violet confessed as she was done and knew that if she spent any more time in Buddy’s closet, she was going to reorganize it to keep her hands busy so her mouth could run and she needed to stop talking before she let out any more secrets or possibly tell on herself even more and risk ruining the friendship she was enjoying with Buddy by wanting something more from him.

“You really are just an emerald, in too tight of a setting huh?” Buddy asked.

“Yeah, part of me wants to buy a loose emerald and keep it in my pocket and I can just pull it out and threaten to drop it to illustrate how close he is to destroying the one thing he “claims” is most important to him. But he just doesn’t...he doesn’t care enough to loosen the setting or back off enough to just give me breathing room. Where I don’t have to constantly filter everything I say or do because there’s always eyes and ears wherever I go.” Violet answered as she took up leaning against the opposite side of the door frame from his bedroom to his closet as once again, their body language mirrored each other.

“Is it worth it though?” Buddy asked.

“It has to be doesn’t it?” Violet returned but she didn't sound convinced.

“I don’t think it is. You shouldn’t put a price, even as one as high as the one you’ve named, on your sanity or integrity, because if you break, the world will lose one of the greatest gems it has and we’ll all be helpless in mourning it’s loss and if you ever find yourself teetering on the precipice, shatter this before you let yourself be shattered.” Buddy offered before he handed her the box which got Violet to frown in confusion at it before she took it and considered it thoughtfully.

Violet opened it and fought not to cry. It was such a small, simple but elegant and beautifully crafted necklace that was Edwardian in design. It was perfect. And the meaning behind it made it even that much more precious.

“Thank you Buddy.” Violet thanked him as she easily enveloped him in a tight hug that Buddy was all too happy to return and they just spent a blissfully long moment hugging each other and clinging to each other and Buddy didn’t let go until Violet did.

“Thank you, I needed the reminder. And the hug.” Violet confessed as she tried to blink away the glassiness in her eyes and it was Buddy who gave her a small, sad smile. Saying so much without needing to say anything and for that she was eternally grateful and Violet looked at him and realized that if she stayed another minute, she was liable to show him and tell him everything and she couldn’t let herself be that vulnerable, not yet anyway, and not when there were so many eyes and ears watching and listening.

“I should go, I have myself to unpack. Let me know when your friends want to come, and I’ll do what I can to make them feel welcome.” Violet offered before she excused herself from his bedroom.

“Good night Buddy, get some rest, you’ve earned it.” Violet offered over her shoulder as she did as Buddy followed her out.

“You too Violet.” Buddy mirrored. Damning himself for not being brave enough to say more.

Violet went straight to her car and drove home, the small box tightly in her fist as she wondered how he had managed to get this. Because Veronica hadn’t said anything about this, nothing about visiting a jewelry store or even a pawn shop when she had sent in her report on the flight home as part of her debriefing. She wondered if perhaps one of Buddy’s security detail had done this as she mentally tried to figure out who it was before the memory of Violet getting flustered by staring at Buddy chest and arms came to mind and how Nelson had reacted to her reaction.

Good on Nelson.

Once Violet got home she went and got into her spy gear and put the box into a compartment.

“Scan and report.” Violet demanded as she sat and waited for the box and it’s contents to be scanned and prayed that it wouldn’t find anything bad, like some malware or any kind of tracker that she couldn't detect herself and anxiously waited as she put her other things away before the device chirped at her and she smiled in relief when the only objects of the jewelry box, was a necklace, made out of diamonds, emeralds and platinum inside a cardboard and velvet box. That was it. Then she took it out and happily put it on herself and looked in the mirror and couldn’t stop smiling. She could wear this every day and be perfectly happy and feel special. It was such a small but powerful thing.

Meanwhile Phillip had watched the feed and frowned before he realized he needed to one up this gesture before he called the best jewelry store in town and had them open back up just for him so he could get the perfect set of emerald jewelry for Violet and then once he had made his purchase he then went back to SEB to get it “finished”.

Monday morning Violet put together her most flattering green outfit to match her new necklace and even did her hair in luscious curls again and did her makeup extra beautifully and practically strut into work.

“Good morning Phillip, hope you slept well, what do we have for Mr. Pine this morning?” Violet asked as she came into his office.

“Uh, nothing new, hey I got you something,” Phillip said as he presented her with a hard leather jewelry set case before Violet paused and looked at it and looked at him before her shoulders dropped and fixed him with a look.

“Really? You just up and decided to get me jewelry? Out of the blue?” Violet questioned wearily.

“Well, no not out of the blue. Look, what the psychic said struck a chord with me and I knew I couldn’t get you anything while we were out in Vegas because I wanted it to be a surprise so I waited until we came back and got it for you last night, it’s my way of making up for what I did to you over the weekend.”

“Phillip, jewelry is not gonna fix…oh my God!” Violet exclaimed when he opened it and Violet’s jaw and heart both dropped as she set both hands on his desk on either side of it and stared in disbelief at it. It couldn’t be real. Before she started to touch it but her own sensitive senses were telling her this was crawling with "bugs" and she subconsciously pulled her hand back.

“Oh I beg to differ.” Phillip smugly countered.

“And you’re already wearing the perfect outfit.” Phillip cooed as he came around to take the other necklace off but Violet side stepped him and out of reach.

“Phillip? How much did you spend on this?” Violet asked.

“It doesn’t matter, as long as you love it, that’s all that matters.” Phillip insisted.

“Yeah, no. Phillip, is this real?” Violet pressed.

“Yeah it’s a real necklace and bracelet and ring and earrings and everything.” Phillip confirmed.

“No, like, genuine, this isn’t costume jewelry or…” Violet began.

“Oh no, it’s the genuine article.” Phillip assured her before he pulled out the jewels from the case and showed her the providence letter under them in the case and Violet gasped when she saw the price and saw that it was down in writing that it belonged to her.

“Phillip, no, no I can’t accept this.” Violet tried to argue.

“But I thought you liked it?” Phillip questioned.

“No, I do, I love it, it’s beautiful, it is single handedly the most amazing jewelry I’ve ever seen in my life and I’m so profoundly flattered and honored but Phil, I need like six bodyguards if I’m going to wear it in public, this is- 'wear this with a gown on the red carpet or attend a gala' kind of necklace and otherwise keep it locked up in a safe to keep it from being stolen kind of necklace. It’s too much, I’m overwhelmed.” Violet tried to explain as she felt panic grip her chest and her stomach churn.

“No, no, Sweetheart, no, don’t be overwhelmed. You are the most precious, most amazing jewel in the universe and I wanted to make sure you knew that and I wanted to make sure you felt it in every fiber of your being. You’re practically a goddess, and this is my offering of worship.” Phillip cooed as he came around and hugged her from behind and Violet felt his powers push her anxiety down and pumped euphoria into her and she couldn’t help it she wracked a sob which alarmed Phillip who came around and hugged her from the front as he did all he could to calm her down and soothe her.

“I’m sorry it’s overwhelming. I'm not trying to force you to take it. If it’s too much too fast, and I’m coming on too strong just tell me.” Phillip realized.

“Phillip, it’s too much too fast and you’re coming on too strong. I’m flattered and honored, I really am but come on. I know you’re just making the biggest, and probably the most romantic gesture you can but you know how practical I am and you already know if it's romantic- that that puts us into too dangerous of territory. Take it back, get your money back. And if you still want to get me something emerald or whatever and something nice. Take what I’m currently wearing as your cue of the size and grandeur that I’m comfortable with. Something smaller, a bit more discrete. Something that I will feel comfortable wearing on special occasions or even every day or just on the days I want to feel extra special. OK? Can we compromise on this? Please? Or you can start off small and work your way up, like a good anal plug set.” Violet tried to tease through the last of her tears which got Phillip to chuckle.

“Ok, I got you. Loud and clear, let me go and try again.” Phillip offered.

“Thank you, but before you go, let me at least get a picture of it, like a keepsake.” Violet offered before she got a picture of it.

“Ok, now I gotta go back to my office and straighten up and Mr. Pine is probably wondering how late I slept in this morning.” Violet urged as she gave him a sweet kiss then took her tablet and went to her office and got her emergency makeup set out and went to her private bathroom and got straightened up.

“What the fuck are you doing Violet, you should have taken the jewels. Should have taken them and graciously accepted them. They were perfect and gorgeous and amazing, but no- your humility and self worth issues strike again to ruin all your good things.” Violet muttered to herself as she got her things and went down to Buddy’s floor.

“Good morning Mr. Pine, I apologize for the delay, Mr. Sebastian had an unexpected...uh...development.” Violet tried to excuse herself.

“Everything ok?” Buddy asked as he looked her over carefully because he could sense something was seriously wrong and off.

“Have you been crying?” Buddy breathed in a whisper and Violet could only nod as tears came flooding back to her eyes as the panic came back with a vengeance because Phillip's powers weren't there to suppress it.

“Excuse me, I need to use your restroom.” She excused herself as she dumped her things on his counter and quickly ran as fast as her pencil skirt would allow and went into his lab’s bathroom where she knew there was no cameras or listening devices and broke down again, sitting on the toilet seat cover and just wracked sob after sob as Buddy could only pace outside the bathroom because to see her upset was upsetting him and hearing her cry was torturing him worse than anything.

“Violet, please, please let me in, can you tell me what’s wrong?” Buddy pleaded through the door as he pressed his forehead to the door.

“It’s open.” Violet managed to say before Buddy slipped in and saw her sitting on the toilet, her makeup a mess and shaking and he was on his knees in front of her in an instant and curling as much of himself around her in a subconscious effort to protect her and shield her and comfort her as his hands ran down from her arms to her hands before she held onto both of his hands with both of hers so, so tight.

“Violet, what happened?” Buddy pressed, getting choked up and emotional himself as he started crying watching her cry because this was hurting him way worse than that jet turbine ever could.

“I can’t take much more of this.” Violet confessed before she, out of habit, put up a forcefield around them because if she didn’t tell him, tell someone safe, since he was the only safe person she had left, she was going to die.

“You gave me this beautiful, amazing, sentimental gift which I love and appreciate so much and I’m so flattered and honored that you would go through so much trouble that even when you’re locked up in here and there’s so many layers of security between you and the outside world and you go through all that trouble of smuggling it in here just to get it to me. And it means so much to me. And Phillip had the audacity to try and one up it, and he did so in about 12 hours. I came into work early, I tried to color coordinate with the necklace because I wanted you to see me in it and see that I appreciated it. And what did he do? He gifted me a 35 million dollar emerald jewelry set. The only thing this didn’t have was a fucking tiara, it had this huge gaudy necklace that would break my collar bones if I tried to put it on with emeralds as big as my eyeballs and diamonds even bigger than that and earrings that would pull my ears off my head and a ring that I would drown me if I tried to go swimming wearing it and a bracelet that would yank my arm out of my shoulder socket. And it was too much. It was so overwhelming and when I tried to refuse, he used his powers to push me to accept it and force euphoria into my head and push my feelings of discomfort out with it and he went on and on about how 'I’m this amazing jewel of the universe and how I’m a goddess and it was a gift of worship' and it was too much. He’s never forced his powers on me that strongly before and I panicked. And it took so much begging and pleading just for him to see that I would never feel comfortable ever wearing it without a full security detail of my own- for him to back off. And I just said everything and anything I could to get myself out of there and thank God I could come and see you. Part of me wants to move in here with you and only want to see Phillip twice a day or twice a year or twice a decade for that matter instead of the other way around. And now he’s on his way back to the jewelry store to get me something smaller.” Violet professed between hard, wracking sobs.

“And the worst part is, is because of my powers that I'm so incredibly sensitive to technology and anything and everything that runs on electricity or any kind of current and signals, even the human body or animals, I'm even sensitive to electromagnetism, I can tell when there’s cameras and listening devices especially. And that jewelry was practically crawling with them, and it feels like it's spiders, creepy crawly spiders, just crawling and infested with spiders and it made my skin crawl, they were embedded under every single big jewel into its socket so that whenever I wore it, wore all of it or just a piece of any of it- it would be just another tracking device, another way to keep me under the microscope.” Violet bawled.

“And I hate it and I hate how it’s like he plays dumb. It’s like he has no idea that I know. And I can’t confront him. I could and would lose my job and my head because every other Super who’s had this job, it was all the surveillance and counter-surveillance that pushed them to quit because they couldn’t take it. That’s the setting that’s too tight. Knowing that every single moment of every single day I'm being watched and recorded and anything and everything I say or do can and will be used against me, like I'm constantly under a superpowered microscope and constantly scrutinized and judged and it's like it's suffocating me and smothering me and I can't breathe. And if Phillip actually, honestly cared about me and loved me as much as he claims, wouldn’t he be honest about all of it? Wouldn’t he back off? Wouldn’t he admit to me and go ‘hey, I’m actually a Super like you and these are my powers’ and I have given him countless opportunities to come clean, to tell me, make him feel like he has nothing to lose and everything to gain by telling me and if he were to actually ask me if I want them used on me instead of being forced onto me. It would make all the difference in the world. Especially since they’re mind control and feeling control, it’s so invasive and it undoes me from the inside out.” Violet shuddered as Buddy felt like his heart just got ripped out of his chest and put back into a blender.

“He would, if he really wanted to love you, he would.” Buddy confirmed.

“And the sad part is, sometimes I like it, and am so grateful for it, like when I’m having panic attacks and breakdowns like I’m having right now, it’s nice to get extra help to calm down or when we’re having sex and he’s closer than I am but he want’s to be gentleman so he pushes me and gets in my head and gives me that extra push to get me to the finish line. But when it’s against my will and against my own genuine feelings, it's different. When I’m mad at him for fucking up or pissing me off by playing head games, he forces me to get over it and forgive him and get over it or he uses my strong emotions and flips them like a light switch so one minute I’m so mad at him I want to push him off this building and he flips it in a snap and suddenly I’m having the hottest sex of my life fucking his brains into oblivion while he does the same for me, like break up sex and makeup sex all rolled into one. And it feels awesome in the moment, like I’m having sex with God, like I’m perfectly high and relaxed and so into it and so far into the zone, it’s a different time zone, not even the same continent and it’s just pure bliss and then I get far enough away from him where his powers can’t reach me, then my real feelings come back and they come back with a vengeance and it's even worse after than it was before and I regret all of it and I feel sick and dirty and no better than a prostitute only it's not just my body that's being bought, it's my mind and soul too. And when he does drugs, it amplifies it and make it almost impossible to resist, even as a super and normal humans don't stand a chance. That’s why I had to scrub those hookers in Vegas, because they gave him coke and MDMA and he was so strong, one of them was practically a mindless drone. It’s why him doing drugs is one of my deal breakers because even I and the strongest Supers I know can’t resist him when he’s on them. No one can.” Violet choked out.

“Because he’s…!” Buddy began, before he growled dangerously because he wanted to scream but he couldn’t freak her out or scare her any more than she already was.

“Violet, he is raping you! Every time he pushes it and you don’t want it- that’s literally the definition of rape Violet. It doesn’t matter how awesome the sex is, if it’s unwanted, it’s rape. Period. It’s not sex any more because if he didn’t have his powers, you’d be able to resist him and kick his ass so hard, you’d break his fucking pelvis in. Like this is Jessica Jones and Purple Man level of fucked up shit.” Buddy pointed out doing his best to keep his voice down, even as hard as it was not to holler and scream all this at the top of his lungs.

“I know. But there’s nothing else I can do. And after, I just throw up, I throw up so much because I’m so sick of myself and that’s the only way I can look this good and still eat the way I do which is just one step away from an eating disorder. And I hate myself so much for it. And then when he gets me lavish gifts it’s like he’s buying me and buying my forgiveness with stuff, it’s expensive stuff but it just makes me feel so cheap. And no matter how much I try to explain it away and reason it away, it’s like dealing with an alcoholic, until they admit that they have a problem, they’re never going to see it. And I’ve been doing everything in my power to save all of this for my last day of work two years from now and hand him his ass in all the ways I want to and have been fantasizing about. And it’s like he’s trying so hard to turn me into a gold digging, materialistic, manipulative, dominatrix queen, and I hate it. Not to knock BDSM, there’s nothing wrong with it when it’s done safely, consensually and willingly by everyone involved but it’s just not for Violet. Invisigirl can do it all, no problem but Violet is very vanilla. But he’s my asset and I have to coddle and cater to him and do whatever it takes to get the job done, those are my unquestioning and unwavering orders. And I can’t find a replacement to save my life. Literally. And I’m stuck. I’m stuck in a setting that’s too tight and it's trying to carve itself into me, chipping away at me until I fit right.” Violet confided between hard sobs and Buddy never saw more red in his life. He wanted nothing more than to destroy Phillip. He wanted to blow up this building. He wanted Phillip’s head on a platter and then flambéed.

And all Buddy could do was cry while holding onto her hands as he knelt in front of her and tried to protectively curl his body around hers as much as he could and he felt so...helpless. He hated it.

“Violet you have to get away from this. You have to get out. Fuck contracts, fuck the money, you can have every red cent I have. I will find a way to get you wherever you want or need to go. You need to save yourself. Stop trying to save everyone, especially me when it’s you who needs the most saving. Alright, look, I’ll come clean. Cause keeping this from you has been killing me, and I’m so sorry but I’ve been having secret correspondence through my shipping labels sending coded messages to IRize and Zone and all my other companies because I’ve been trying to get all your medical data out of here and safe so that even if Phillip were to try to hold your meds over you to keep you with him, you would have another source, a safe and secure one and one that wouldn’t come with terms and conditions or strings of any kind. And the reason I was so nervous before I left was because my companies all offered to spring me free while we were in Vegas and I told them repeatedly not to, not until I could get you and your meds and everything pertaining to you- safe and secured. And I know I lied to you on Friday and I felt awful and I was so relieved when it was just the hookers at the room because I genuinely thought I would get to my room and find my own guys there to overtake the security and get me away. But I couldn’t do that to you because your trust and your friendship and these precious two months being with you mean more to me than my own freedom. I will stay here as long as I need to, I’ll stay here five, ten, twenty years if I have to and I’ll kiss the outside world goodbye if it means you can walk away free and live in it and heal from all the hurt that prick has done to you. Get out of here Violet. Go. If I can survive a jet turbine, I can survive anything and everything Phillip wants to throw at me, powers be damned.” Buddy confessed as he squeezed her hands so tight as his tears streamed down his face as Violet just stared in shock at him.

“Break the necklace Violet, break the necklace and throw it in his face, come clean and tell him that you know everything, expose him for what he really is, bring hell to his doorstep, give him the bird right before you vanish so he never can find you again. And I will do everything I can to dismantle his empire brick by brick if I have to if it means that you never have to deal with him ever again. He is abusing you. He’s beating you without ever having to throw a punch and that is the worst kind of abuse there is. Violet please. I can’t take this, it’s a miracle you’re still alive and sane. Violet you are cracking. How many more hits will it be before you shatter?” Buddy pleaded desperately.

"I don't know." Violet confessed as she cried a new wave of tears.

“Look, I’m good at fixing things but even this is beyond me. I will be whatever you need or want me to be. Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it. I’ll do anything and everything if it means you’ll be ok. Please, Violet, please, please, please.” Buddy begged before he brought her hands up to his lips and kissed her knuckles, squeezing his eyes so tight and Violet was so moved because it was Buddy who genuinely cared for her. Even when he had so much to lose, he’d give what little he did have up for her and if he was exposing himself like this. He was being as honest and as transparent as he could be and Violet couldn’t be more grateful or more moved. Now that she knew that, she could help hide it even more.

“You won’t make it that long. The only reasons I’ve not said anything is because every single person who’s ever confronted him about his powers- is dead. And the reason they’re dead is because he plants something of a computer virus into their heads, into their minds and it drives them insane to the point they commit suicide, sometimes within days, sometimes within hours, sometimes within minutes. Minutes. Buddy, I’m terrified you are going to make it three years and a day. I’m so scared you’re going to leave this place and be within a five hundred foot radius of him so he can plant the bug in you. And then you’re going to go home and kill yourself because he’ll do the same thing to you. I’m afraid I’ll do the same thing because if he can’t have me, no one can because he’s so possessive and jealous and dangerous. He proved it with this necklace thing. You dared to give me anything, the smallest of things. Something tangible and he had to outdo it. And you’re not the only one who’s been in contact with others about this situation. I haven’t quit because as bad as all this abuse is, it’s still not as bad as losing you. I can’t lose you. You’re the one good thing in my life right now. And I don’t want him to use you against yourself by pushing you to take your own life or use you against me or me against you or me against me. Which is why I put a clause that in the event of your death, doesn’t matter how you die, everything you touch, all the royalties go back to your own companies. That’s why I’m pushing you to get your hands on everything you can design wise and putting your name and your mark and your seal on everything I can get my hands on. Yeah, you’ll lose percentages now, but if push comes to shove, at least everyone you employ will be ok and your second empire won’t fall like the first one did. This is why I haven’t had any romantic relationships while I’m here- is because Phillip has already torpedoed every attempt and sabotaged it. And it’s why I’m fighting myself so hard to not get closer to you because I don’t want him to sabotage us. He has me backed into a corner but the thing is, you’re behind me and I’m the only thing between you and him. And I’ll bear this and be your shield till my dying day because it has to stop somewhere. And it stops here, it stops with you and right this second, Jack is working on a way to expose Phillip’s powers and find a way to shield me and shield you from them and I’ll do all I can to at least protect your security guards at least so they don’t turn on you. Jack and Edna have been working on it for a year. All they need is time. Can we please, give them time. They’re so close. Just a little longer. Just endure this with me a little longer.” Violet confessed as she held onto his hands like they were a lifeline.

“For me? Can you do that for me?” Violet begged.

“Only for you. But the second it’s ready, we’re out of here.” Buddy insisted.

“I’ll spring you myself.” Violet finally smiled as her anxiety finally calmed down and she felt absolution and relief as it subsided as she let go of his hands to reach for the toilet paper to wipe up her streaking makeup before Buddy got up and some paper towels and got them wet with hot water in the sink before he handed them to her.

“Damn it, I really liked the way I did my makeup today too.” Violet tried to laugh as she just used it to wipe off all her makeup.

“You don’t need it, you’re beautiful no matter what and you could wear burlap and bring it into fashion, not that you care about that kind of thing.” Buddy assured her.

“Thanks. Jack tells me the same thing every time I see him.” Violet chuckled before she finally finished wiping it all off and throwing the now dirty, cooling paper towels in the trash before she happily pulled Buddy into a tight hug which he was more than ready to return. He had wanted to kiss her. But with the way Phillip used his powers in that aspect of her life, he knew if he tried to push any kind of romantic, intimate gestures now- it would not go over well and she would probably reject them and him. She was too gun-shy. If she wanted to be romantically intimate with him, she’d have to make the first move because he sure as hell wasn’t going to push it. She needed a friend and a confidant right now and that’s what he was going to be.

“Thank you so much, please, don’t breathe a word of this to anyone.” Violet pleaded.

“Only until we have an out.” Buddy compromised.

“Deal.” Violet huffed a laugh.

“Goodness you give the best hugs. I could hug you all day long if you let me.” Violet confessed with a halfhearted giggle as she nuzzled her face into the crux of his neck and shoulder absolutely relishing this because this hug was all she could ask for from a hug.

“Well you know where I am. Come and get one whenever you want.” Buddy offered as he wanted to kiss the crown of her head, but resisted. The poor girl just needed a platonic hug. He could give her that.

“Don’t offer anything you’re not fully prepared to be taken up on.” Violet playfully warned.

“I never do.” Buddy reassured her with a wry grin.

“I’d have to do it while I’m invisible though. I could give you three taps on the arm in warning before I do.” Violet urged.

“Yeah, about that, uh, because of your similar powers to Tali, she taught me how to find her even when she was invisible, because I can feel just about all the hairs on my body stand on end when you’re close enough to me.” Buddy confessed.

“Huh. Interesting. Well, again, three taps and then get to a bathroom because there’s no cameras or listening devices in them but there are some just outside of them. Cause otherwise to see you hug air will be suspicious.” Violet proposed.

“You got it.” Buddy readily agreed.

“And then, slowly but surely, if you could teach me the way you’re encoding the messages, I’ll try to learn it and if you’d be ok with me sending a few of my own so I can get something established with them too, just in case something goes sideways, to make safety nets and contingency plans and I’ll happily show you them so you know what I’m saying and telling them so we can coordinate.” Violet offered.

“Yeah, actually, the delivery guy, Jack Reacher- he’s my secret liaison to my other companies.” Buddy confessed with a wince but when Violet giggled he breathed out a breath of relief.

“Hiding in plain sight, I like it. That’ll make it easy, I can claim I need him to deliver stuff and mail stuff through him myself. Whatever I mail, will it still get delivered?” Violet asked.

“Yeah, it’s just the shipping labels that he intercepts but the packages themselves are benign.” Buddy assured her.

“Then I need to have some serious and very steady correspondence with The Agency about my replacement and their training then and nothing is more reliable than actual hard copy paper, a proper paper trail.” Violet insisted as she begrudgingly started to let go of him and regain some semblance of personal space.

“When my friends come to visit me, would you want to hang out with us?” Buddy asked.

“Would I be the only girl with a group of guys?” Violet asked.

“Nope, because I’m going to be extending the invitation to their wives and families.” Buddy revealed.

“Then yes, I’d love to come. Can I bring anything?” Violet asked hopefully.

“Just yourself.” Buddy answered with a subtle shake of his head.

“Wine it is then.” Violet giggled before she let down the forcefield.

“Thank you for helping me calm down. You really are a big, tall, pine tree that’s a refuge. At least for me.” Violet praised.

“And I’ll happily be that for you for as long as you want me to.” Buddy answered with a fond grin before she took another step and kissed his cheek sweetly that melted Buddy right where he stood.

“Thank you. Now, let’s get back to business before Phillip loses his goddamn mind not being able to see me for more than a minute.” Violet urged as she straightened up and left the bathroom before she made a pained sound because all the cameras and listening devices were turned up to the maximum level as she subconsciously held her stomach.

“Woah you ok?” Buddy asked.

“Yeah, just a wave of nausea because they’re turned up.” Violet answered as she managed to get to the counter and thankfully once she was able to move forward she could feel them start to turn down again.

“Ok, so um about your personal social visit, who exactly do you want to come?” Violet began before Buddy gave her the names of all his friends and their wives and their kids names and their phone numbers and email addresses and how to best get a hold of them which Violet dutifully got and notated.

“OK, I’ll get started on all of this. See you again this evening Mr. Pine, good luck with your projects.” Violet urged him as she went back to her office to do her makeup for the third time that day as she put in all the information into her computer before Phillip came back into her office.

“Hey, you changed your makeup again.” Phillip noticed.

“Yeah, I had to.” Violet answered as Phillip simply hummed in pretensive befuddlement.

“Were you able to watch what happened in Mr. Pine’s lab?” Violet asked after a beat.

“No, did something happen?” Phillip lied which caused Violet to clench her jaw.

“Well, Mr. Pine noticed that I was upset and when he asked me about it, I had a panic attack and ended up locking both of us into his bathroom and he was inside the bubble when I couldn’t help but put it up and it took all of Mr. Pine’s wits to get me calmed down and for me to feel safe enough to let down the forcefield.” Violet answered.

“What...why? I thought I was able to help with that before you left.” Phillip questioned.

“You did. But Phillip…” Violet started as she felt tears prick her eyes again.

“I’m just having a bad day. That’s all there is to it.” Violet insisted as she tried to refocus and keep her emotions in check.

“No, I don’t believe that. Come on Violet, you can tell me.” Phillip pleaded as he pushed his comfort onto her and she immediately bolted to get some space as she clutched her stomach again and figured now was as good as any to use this to her advantage.

“Phillip, something is wrong with me. I’m becoming paranoid and suicidal. Like when we were in Vegas and you did that coke and you thought you could fly and those hookers tried to help you- I had to fight so hard not to jump off the balcony myself. I don’t understand it, maybe it’s the pressure or something.” Violet said and saw Phillip’s eyes widen in horror just a little before he tried to school his expression again.

“But I feel like I’m being watched and listened to everywhere I go, even in my own apartment and it’s like I can sense little trackers in all my devices and they make me feel so much dread or listening devices- it’s like they ring in my ears and make me so nauseous. I’ve been trying so hard to keep this to myself because I know it sounds crazy and insane but Phillip, I’ve been battling this ever since I started working with you and it started off small at first, but the more I do this job and the closer I am to you and give into my feelings for you, the worse I feel and the worse it feels, I’m throwing up all the time and I can feel the enamel wear on my teeth and the psychic was right, I’m an emerald in a setting that’s too tight, I’m cracking under the pressure. And something about that jewelry you tried to give me this morning, it felt like it was just crawling in... spiders. It just makes me feel like everything is crawling with spiders and it makes my skin literally crawl like they’re climbing all over me. Like I get it that there’s cameras and listening devices here, for security, they have to be and I’ve gotten used to it, like seeing a spider web in the corner and pretending to ignore it as long as it doesn't come down or get close to you or like putting on an itchy sweater but you endure it because you’re at Grandma’s house but...I feel like I can never get away from them, that they’re all over everything I touch and it’s that- that makes what she said about the setting being too tight make so much sense, but I just couldn’t find the right words to tell you but I’ve been so scared of telling you because I didn’t want you to think you were in danger of a crazy person or doubt me that I couldn’t keep you safe or anything and for some reason when Buddy gave me this necklace, this is the first thing that I’ve been given that is spider free and the longer I wear it, the less the spiders crawl on me and I feel like you’re the center of the spider web for some reason and none of this makes sense but I have no idea how else to explain it. And I feel like if I keep pushing myself to be everything you need to be, I’ll break, I’ll shatter and never get put back together again. And the more I feel it, the more I feel, that even as much as you pay me- it’s not worth it . And my gut used to whisper things to me but all it does is scream at me anymore to save myself and just walk away and I just...I want to be in a space that’s spider free. And I want to hit every electronic around me with a hammer to squish the spiders. And I know this is crazy. And I feel like if I just kill myself, the spiders will just eat me and be done with it.” Violet managed to rant as she paced her office on the opposite side of the room as Phillip withdrew all of his powers from her and knew without the shadow of a doubt that this was all because of him. He was the one responsible for cracking her and he had thought he had taken out the suicide seed from her head but apparently not, the seed was sprouting on it's own or enough of it remained to do this to her. And that if he didn’t back off, she really was going to break beyond mending. He needed to fix this.

“And what’s even crazier- is I feel like Mr. Pine is just a big can of Raid. And the more I’m around him and closer to him I am, the farther away the spiders stay. And that’s why I’ve been wanting to do all the outings with him because at least when I’m with him, the spiders stay away. And he even invited me to stay as a friend for his social event and I totally want to but not when his place is crawling with spiders too. Phillip, I know this sounds crazy and if you want to commit me to an asylum, I’ll understand. I mean I’ll break out and disappear forever, but I would understand and forgive you.” Violet said as she let her shoulders drop in defeat and hugged herself as pure panic and a deep dreadful, foreboding fear gripped Phillip’s chest.

“Uh, then. Then you should do just that. I’m so sorry Violet, I’m so sorry, I wish you would have told me sooner. I never wanted…” Phillip began to cry but he did his best to keep his composure.

“You’re not crazy Violet. You’re just under too much pressure and I’ve put too much stress and pressure on you and I've asked too much of you and I am so, so, so sorry. You poor thing. You make so much sense right now. I get it, ok, um, I’m gonna do all I can to kill the spiders for you. Just...I’m approving everything for you and Mr. Pine, of course you should go, and don’t worry about going as Ms. Parr or Invisigirl. Just go as Violet. Go, have a great time, I’ll have your place searched and scrubbed to make sure it’s spider free or if you still think it has spiders, I’ll get you another apartment that’s spider free. I’ll get you new everything because if you feel it’s all infested with spiders, then they’re beyond saving. You are not crazy. You’re so strong and brave for trying to put up with all this. And while you’re there, I’ll turn off all the cameras and listening devices in the apartment side of the space, just in case that’s what’s giving you spider vibes. Because you deserve to have a nice evening with friends without feeling your skin crawl and get them like a case of wine or whatever as my gift for the occasion and just have a great time. Just keep Wednesday as your Raid day. And you know what, if Mr. Pine will host you or you want to host him and take him out- have the weekends too. have Raid weekends. And go out, like to the museums or whatever. Leave the security detail here. I trust you with Mr. Pine and I trust that if he makes a move, you’ll still do your job. It’s the least I can do.” Phillip generously offered before Violet practically ran into his arms and was so grateful when she felt that he didn’t use his powers at all.

“Thank you so much Phil, thank you for believing me and doing something about it. You have no idea how much that means to me.” Violet cried in relief into his chest as he held her.

“Of course. I’m always going to believe you. I need to protect you as much as you protect me. And if I have to kill a million spiders both real or otherwise, I’ll do it. You are the most important thing and the most precious jewel in the universe and I’m so sorry I couldn’t see that I was the one causing the cracks by putting so much pressure on you and asking too much of you. Thank you so much for telling me and identifying the problem. I’ll help as much as I can.” Phillip vowed.

“Thank you.” Violet thanked him before kissing him sweetly, wishing she could have kissed Buddy instead.

“Ok, let me go and call some exterminators and brainstorm to make a trap for any more.” Phillip offered before he left and went to the tech department and turned off all the cameras and listening devices in her apartment and her car and her phone and Violet simply grinned when she could tell they had been turned off as she took a moment to hold her phone between her hands and mentally searched for it and was still able to find it. It was still there, just dormant. Sleeping . Before she played with it, focused on the device and turned it back on and then back off again and smiled to herself that she was good enough to figure out how to do it and could now do it on demand.

Meanwhile the mole in security sent the message that Violet was aware of the bugs and that Phillip was going to go and exterminate her bug problem and to make sure that the only bugs he would find would be his own and within 30 minutes, Zone’s security team came back to Violet’s place and took out all of the piggy backs and covered up all the evidence that they were ever there to begin with and quickly left again.

#Why So Jaded #Why So Jaded Chapter 7 #Synlet #Buddy Pine #Bartholomew Pine #Violet Parr #Corporate espionage AU #Modern AU #Now #this is a proper love triangle #and some good ol fashioned intrigue #and conflicts of interest #and being emotionally torn between objectives #and a test of loyalties #bwahahaha

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lumiolivierlithium · 3 years

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The Good Old Days Chapter Twenty-One: The Borderlands Job

A/N: Hi, friends! Alright. I know. I'm a little late with this, but it's also been a hell of a week. And again, I know. I need to put these on a schedule. Load them into the queue as soon as I finish them. That'd be a good idea. But anyway, here we have it. Enjoy.

ICYMI: Chapter 20: Heart to Heart

So, this was it. Walking into hell with the two people I trust most in this world. Well…Not quite hell. Hell adjacent is more like it. Here we are. Out in the borderlands. And for what? That’s right. The Old Man has a big ass payout from this place. It seemed like a classy place. When we walked in, the furniture was all leather. The walls were crushed velvet. Damn, Old Man. What the hell did you send us to? But the humidors behind the bar and the heavy smell of smoke told me all I needed to know. Cigar bar. Got it…Until I saw the stage and the runway in the middle of the room. Alright. Gentlemen’s club. Got it. Not judging.

“Alright, boys…” I stood in the doorway, doing a quick check of the place. It’s awfully quiet in here. Maybe that’s a good thing, “We’re going to collect and get the hell out of here. I know he says it’s cool if we enjoy ourselves a little, but this place is making my skin crawl.”

“That’s because you got a girlfriend, Frankie,” César pointed out, keeping his voice down. And getting an eyeful of the lovely young ladies center stage. Between César and Tony, César always was the poon hound, “Not all of us are so fortunate.”

“This place feels like the type to pay for regular health screenings.” Granted, César was a slut, but that didn’t mean Tony couldn’t appreciate the art in the museum, too.

“Probably,” I still couldn’t believe those two. They’ve both tried taking me to strip clubs before, but…Even before I started dating Vanessa, they just…weren’t something for me. They made me feel weird. And not the good kind of feel weird they were supposed to make me feel. Nine times out of ten, I’d be asking the girls when they’d get off and buy them a drink afterward. I’ve made a few friends like that, “But focus. We got work to do before you two can drool. And remember what your jobs are.”

“Yeah, yeah,” César brushed me off, his eyes wandering a little more, “Make sure our hermanito doesn’t get into trouble. Got it.”

“You two disgust me,” I shook my head in disappointment, “I hope you know that.”

“Excuse us for having a libido.”

“Hey!” a big mother fucker from the bar stepped up to us. Under normal circumstances, I’m sure he’s intimidating as hell, but I had an ace in the hole, “Who are you? I’ve never seen you in here before.”

“What?” I shrugged, “I can’t try somewhere new?”

“It’s not that,” Big Guy pointed out, “You don’t just walk in here off the street. You get invited here. And I don’t remember anyone saying you or your buddies were invited tonight.”

“It’s fine,” I knew how to handle assholes like this. And I was taught well. On top of that, I’ve been given express permission to name drop if I had to. Or, in dire situations, assume someone else’s identity. Especially if it was for the sake of saving my skin. And it always helps that the Old Man is kind of a recluse, “I’m sure a man of my standings has a permanent spot on that list.”

“You seem to think so,” he scoffed, “Get the fuck out of here before you’re forcibly removed…”

“People call me the Old Man,” I carried myself with the same sense of well deserved respect the Old Man did, “I’m here to pick up a little something, something, if that’s alright with you. Now, I’d like to speak to the bartender please.”

“You…” Big Guy backed off a little, “You’re the Old Man?”

“That’s right,” I held my ground.

“You look a little young for that kind of title,” he argued, “Are you even legal to drink in here?”

“More than legal,” I growled, still keeping a level head, “I can’t help I got good genetics and a pretty face, friend. Boys!”

“Yeah?” Both César and Tony hopped to my side. Alright. That’s comforting. If this guy wanted to pick a fight or found out I’m not the Old Man, it’s good to know I had backup.

“Why don’t you two keep our new friend here company?” I suggested, “I’m going to go pick up what we’re here for and then, if there’s time, maybe have a drink or two. After that, we’ll leave. I’m sorry. I haven’t even asked your name yet, man.”

“It’s Todd.”

Really? I didn’t think someone that’s easily six and a half feet tall and a perfect bowling ball to be named Todd. But who was I to judge? I gave him a nod, “Alright, Todd. Why don’t you make sure these two are taken care of? I got a package to pick up.”

I didn’t even give him a chance to answer. I had bigger shit to worry about. And if all else fails, I know Tony and César can hold their own in a fight. That’s just something I don’t want to have to explain to Mama in the morning. Although, I’m sure if I point all fingers toward the Old Man, I’d be absolved of all crimes here and everything would be fine. Except for the fact that my brothers’ faces would be fucked up. A sacrifice I’m willing to make.

I went into the back where an older man stood behind the bar, “Excuse me…”

“Yes, sir,” he smiled politely, “How can I help you? If I overheard you right, you’re the one they call the Old Man around here, right?”

“That’s right,” I kept up the façade. At this point, I think it’s what’s keeping my ass alive, “And I’m thinking there’s something waiting for me here.”

“No,” the bartender shook his head, making sure to keep his voice down, “You’re not the Old Man.”

My stomach dropped. Oh, shit. This guy knows. But I couldn’t let him see me sweat, “Excuse me? Yeah, I am.”

“I know Gregorio,” he pointed out, “I know him very well. Sit down, son. Let’s talk.”

“Ok…” I wasn’t sure where this was going, but the Old Man didn’t tell me he was sending me to a friend, “I mean, I am Gregorio, but I don’t remember us meeting.”

“I’ve known Gregorio for a very long time,” the bartender got an envelope from under the bar. And a damn thick one, too. Then, he poured me a glass of brandy with a splash of peach tea in it. I never was the type for brandy, but I could stomach it for the sake of keeping up appearances, “He and I went to school together for a while. Around the time he first came here. I found myself falling on hard times years later and I told him about it. My landlord was about to evict me. I was lucky if I could feed my kids. You know what he did?”

“What?” This story was feeling a little familiar. It was at that moment I realized the Old Man had a soft spot for a lost cause.

“He took my wife and my two kids for dinner that night,” he smiled, “He was telling me all about this new job he got and the man he was working for and how he had a little bit of power in this town now. When we were still in school, I was always the one mixing drinks for people. He got me the job here. And I’ve been here ever since. Mostly just to oversee things. Kind of like when some random punk off the street comes in and impersonates him. Before your mind jumps to conclusions, I’m not going to out you and I’m not going to take you out in the alley. I just want you to be honest with me.”

“Ok…” I wasn’t sure where this was going, but I was starting to love the Old Man a little more every day, “What did you want to know?”

“What’s your name, kid?”

“Me?” I thought it over for a minute or two. Do I be honest with him or do I tell him I’m still the Old Man? Obviously, he knows I’m not him, but if I fold, I could be fucked. I think I could trust his story, “Francisco Mendoza.”

“I’m guessing you work for him, don’t you?”

“I do,” I nodded.

“And just out of curiosity,” he wondered, “How did you know I wasn’t going to pull a gun from under the bar and put a bullet between your eyes for impersonating one of the best men to walk the streets of New York?”

“You really want to know?” I smirked a bit, “I watched you pour my drink.”

“That could’ve also been poisoned.”

“It wasn’t, though,” I explained, “The Old Man’s drink of choice is brandy and peach tea. It was the same thing he was drinking the night I met him. You’re not the only one he’s pulled off the streets and given a better life.”

“He’s a good man,” the bartender told me, “Stick around with him. He’ll make sure you’re taken care of. But trust me, Francisco. You don’t ever want to betray him. I’ve seen what happens when that kind of shit goes down. It’s not a pretty result. But on a less fatal note, can I let you in on a little secret?”

“Please,” I insisted, “Be my guest.”

“If Gregorio didn’t see something special in you,” he kept his voice down, sliding the envelope across the bar, “You wouldn’t be here right now. Don’t squander what you got.”

“I didn’t plan on it…” I liked this guy. He was alright. I took the envelope off the bar and felt it a bit with the utmost discretion, “Since I told you mine, would you tell me yours?”

“Sure,” he gave me a nod, “It’s Ricky. When you get back to the Narrows, tell Gregorio that Ophelia still has those legs for days.”

“Ophelia?” I wondered, assuming it was some kind of code, but I didn’t know what it was. I’ve never heard the Old Man talk about anyone named Ophelia before.

“My wife,” Ricky chuckled to himself, “He was never the type to go domestic, but there was a young lady that we had a class with that had her eyes on both of us. And she knew Gregorio wasn’t the domestic type, so she went with me. And he’s been kicking himself in the ass every day since then. I like to rub that in his face every once in a while.”

“And what if the Old Man hands my ass to me for that?” I got nervous.

“He won’t,” he swore, “He’ll get a cheap laugh out of it if anything. It was a pleasure meeting you, Francisco. Truly.”

“It’s actually Frankie,” I corrected him, “That’s what everyone else calls me. Except my mother.”

“Alright,” Ricky let me go, “Hopefully, this won’t be the last time we see each other.”

“Likewise,” I finished off my drink and took off with the envelope. But before I left, I needed to get my boys, “Oi…Pendejos…Vamanos.”

“We’re leaving already?” Tony asked, both him and César drenched in sweat. Oh, Jesus…What did they do?

“Yeah,” I nodded toward the door, “Ahora.”

“Ok,” César, the one that I thought was going to be like pulling teeth to get out of here, was awfully quick on his feet. I’m not sure what transpired while I was in the back, but I feel like it’s better that I don’t ask.

“And Todd,” I gave the big guy a pat on the shoulder, “Pleasure meeting you, man.”

“You, too, sir,” Todd sent us off. It’s good to be the Old Man some days. I liked it. Maybe if I get lucky, I’ll take his spot one day. He did say he wanted me to succeed him. I could get used to it.

Once that night air hit my face, everything was right in the world again. I peeked in the envelope and did a quick count of the money. Every last cent was there. Good man, Ricky. Good man. But then came the hard part, “Alright. What happened?”

“Nothing,” Tony kept his mouth shut, “Everything was fine.”

Which was how I knew he was lying. Or hiding something from me. Thankfully, I had César, who would occasionally lack a verbal filter. Not nearly as bad as Tony, but enough, “Tony wanted to take one of the girls home with him.”

“Goddammit, Tony,” I hung my head, “I ask you to do one thing. I take you along for one reason.”

“Don’t goddammit, Tony me,” Tony got defensive, “I did not!”

“He struck out big time,” César laughed, “It was probably worse than watching you try to flirt with Vanessa the first time you two met, Frankie. It was beyond a crash and burn. That was the Hindenburg.”

“See if I take you back here,” I rolled my eyes, “On the bright side, I think I might have my own spot on the list here. Me, not the Old Man. I mean, the Old Man’s got one, too, but because the bartender knows him and knows him well. He’s a good guy, too.”

“He knew you weren’t the Old Man?” César gasped, “Frankie! And I thought I had to keep Tony from getting bitch slapped by a stripper. You could’ve gotten yourself killed!”

“But he knew the Old Man,” I explained, “Don’t worry. I knew what I was doing. I had this.”

“And what if you didn’t?” César snapped, “What if the guy was testing you? What if he was calling your bluff and you just fucking folded? I don’t ever want to have to make that phone call to Mama…”

“César…” I knew where he was coming from. It’s what I’ve been doing for those two for years. But César was different. Tony was lucky his head was attached more often than not, but César knew he wouldn’t have to worry about me. That wasn’t going to stop him from worrying, “I told you. I had this. And if I didn’t, I knew I’d have you and Tony watching my back. All I’d have to do is say the word and I knew damn well you both would come running. I know you want to make sure I’m ok. And fuck, I love you for that. But I can handle shit, too.”

“If you ever do something so fucking stupid again,” César threw an arm around me, his demeanor a little lighter, “Don’t ever do it alone.”

“Of course not,” I laughed it off, “I’m stupid, not suicidal.”

“Bueno…” he mumbled to himself, “So? Where to now?”

“Back to the Narrows, as far as I know,” I decided, “Unless you wanted to actually grab a drink. But something tells me that even though the Old Man has told us to skim off the top from time to time, tonight isn’t one of those jobs. He’d probably kick all our asses for something like that. He told me tonight was the biggest score I’ve ever had.”

“You’re not wrong,” Tony knew that as well as I did. Usually, when the Old Man had big collections, he’d tell me to get my brothers. They knew when I was working a big job. And Tony’s beautiful mind could keep track of that shit like nobody’s business.

“So,” I thought it through, “You two come back with me to the Narrows, we’ll have a drink there, then we go home? Sound like a plan?”

“That does sound like a plan,” César agreed, his nerves a little shot tonight. He could use the liquid hospitality.

I don’t know why the Old Man would’ve been so nervous about us visiting a part of our own territory just because it was on the outskirts. Regardless, the boys and I headed back toward the Narrows and made ourselves at home in the bar. This place already was my second home. Even more so today than any other day. I wasn’t complaining. I liked this little bar. I didn’t drink publicly much, but when I did, it didn’t hurt to be somewhere familiar. I left my brothers at the bar and headed to the Old Man’s office.

“Old Man?” I poked my head in the door, “You alive?”

“Pretty alive,” the Old Man let me in, “How’d it go, Frankie?”

“Pretty good,” I threw the envelope on his desk, “I got the money. I got out of there with my life and my brothers intact. I can call that one a win.”

“That’s the attitude to have in this business, kid,” he applauded me.

“Oh,” I remembered, “And by the way, the guy that gave me the money told me to give you a message.”

“Did he?” the Old Man wondered, looking at me strange, “And what’s that?”

“That…” I had to get this right or it’d probably just sound like nothing, “Ophelia still has those legs for days?”

“That son of a bitch!” he snapped, only to laugh his ass off in the next breath, “You met Ricky tonight, didn’t you? Damn, I was hoping he was the one behind the bar.”

“Yeah,” I nodded, a wave of relief washing over me, “Why?”

“He’s a good man,” the Old Man explained, “You kind of reminded me of Ricky. Damn good head on his shoulders, but life doesn’t give him the best hand. You know? How’d he know you were there for me? Did you tell him?”

“I, uh…” I twiddled my thumbs, “I was walking into foreign territory, Old Man…So, I kind of…Told the bouncer that…”

“You were me,” he figured, “Alright. I understand, Frankie. You were right to do that. And that explains how Ricky knew you were there for me. But you do know that one day, your own name’s going to have that kind of power, too, right?”

“I hope so,” I winced, “But today’s not that day.”

“Soon enough,” the Old Man threw the envelope, “There. That’s yours.”

I froze completely, “You going senile on me already?”

“I’m not senile,” he rolled his eyes, “I’m serious. Look, Frankie, you got shit to take care of. I don’t need the money. I’m not near hurting. Your little aristocratic princess deserves a nice fucking engagement ring. You go get her something nice and head home for the day. You’ve done your bit for god and country. Besides, if I give you tonight’s collection, then, I don’t have to pay you for working the bar.”

“Hell of a tip, Old Man,” I still couldn’t believe he was doing this. But at the same time, I could. It’s the Old Man. To hear Ricky talk about him only solidified his ranking in my mind, “Thank you. I will.”

“And if you want,” the Old Man kicked back at his desk, “Throw a few bucks to your brothers. They work hard, too. I’m sure they kept a close eye on you.”

“My brother bitched at me,” I told him, “And they kept the bouncer off my ass, but…Ok. So, we do a three-way split?”

“They don’t know how much I’m giving you,” he gave me a nod, “You split it however you feel. You’re the one that’s going to be paying them one day anyway. Might as well start now.”

“What do you mean…?”

“I would’ve thought you’d bring your brothers on with you when you take over,” the Old Man sighed out, “Guess I was wrong. I mean, if it were me, I’d want the people I could trust most close to me. That’s what I got you for. I’d trust you with my life. But you know…That’s just me. Now, I want you to take your cut and get something nice for Vanessa. She’s a good girl and deserves it.”

“Thank you, Old Man,” I did my best to not start crying right then and there, “Really…For everything.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he sent me out, “Good luck, kid.”

“Thanks…” Because I don’t know how I’m going to do it or when, but dammit, I’m going to propose to Vanessa. Eventually. And the Old Man’s right. She does deserve something nice.

I grabbed my brothers, dropped ten grand in their hands (with intentions of paying them with whatever’s left over after I get Vanessa’s ring), and the three of us headed home. Tonight’s been a night. And the thought of crawling into bed was awfully tempting. Yet, I had a little something still left in me. Maybe I could find Abuela’s food truck before she closes up for the night. Before the club crowds start damn near shaking her down. But when we got back to our building, there was a perfect package on our front steps.

“Excuse me, sweetheart,” I took her hands and pulled her onto her feet, “I don’t think you live in these parts.”

“My boyfriend does, though,” Vanessa stole a quick kiss, “Hi, baby.”

“Hi,” I melted inside. Damn, this girl’s got a hold on me. She always did.

“Hi, guys,” she smiled.

“Hey, Vanessa,” César gave her a little smile back. He and I had a brief moment of mental telepathy and César, God bless him, dragged Tony inside.

“So,” I wondered, “What do you think about going to the Downtown tonight? Rumor has it, they have some killer coconut cream pie.”

“I’d love to,” Vanessa put my arm around her. I love when she does that.

“Are you sure this is ok?” I worried, holding her close, “I mean, I’m not kidnapping you again, am I?”

“Nope,” she kissed my cheek, “Come on. I’ve been thinking about that pie all day and if I don’t get it in the next ten seconds, I’m cutting a bitch.”

That’s my girl, “It’ll be a few minutes in the cab, though, Vanessa.”

“Fine,” Vanessa let it slide, “Then, we have a few minutes and ten seconds to get me some fucking pie.”

“I love you…” Hard to believe I’m already thinking about marrying her.

“I love you, too, but pie, Frankie…I want pie…”

“Alright then,” I got us a cab, “Then, let’s get some pie.”

#the good old days #mafia au #fan fiction prequel #oc backstory #switch #for the family

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goodvibesatpeace · 5 years

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Theories: The Matrix Farm

If you fancy a bit of light reading 😀

Be open minded and question everything

Our bodies should not require sleep/ rest since these organic vehicles have been designed to function continuously. We even have a self-servicing function, where our bodies repair themselves. And since we take our “fuel” from food, we shouldn’t require sleep at all.

So why do we need it?

The reason we need sleep is because humans beings (the real us, the souls) feed on energy, just like all other beings in our Multiverse (and what our bodies take from food is not enough to keep us going).

When the Anunnaki built the prison-suits (i.e. human bodies) for our souls, they’ve made us in their image, but they took away many of the original features (such as cellular immortality, 12 DNA strands, the ability to grow back teeth, limbs, etc.) and also added many blockages, so that we remain unaware of our spiritual greatness.

Our connection to the Source has been greatly limited, to the extent we are mostly cut off from it and only rarely allowed to connect to it — and never fully.

During sleep, we are allowed to connect to the Source in order to recharge on non-polarized energy.

Why would they do this? What’s the end-game of the Anunnaki?

We used to be Creator-beings (we still are outside this Matrix reality), meaning that we would use the pure energy from the Source to manifest.

During his sessions of LBL reggression, Michael Newton was once told by a subject that he/she, together with other non-physical beings, helped manifest our planet from pure energy.

The planet was at first non-physical. The subject expressed the curiosity/ desire of experiencing life on Earth once it would become physical, because it is one thing to create a planet, and something entirely different to live on it as a physical being.

This matches perfectly with Dr. Neruda interviews, in which he explains how a collective of alien species (Archons, Reptilians, Anunnaki, Sirians and Greys) have tricked our souls into using these human bodies as vehicles, in order to experience physical life on Earth.

Because we had no understanding of evil and deception back then, we agreed.

At first, the vehicles were outstanding and performed really good, but with each new lot, the Anunnaki secretly downgraded them more and more, until we’ve lost the connection to our Souls and the Source almost entirely.

By then, it was already too late for us. The prison Matrix was activated and we are trapped in it ever since. When we die, we are being forced into the false light portal, which sends us to the “Recycling station,”where we are superficially healed of past life traumas and then sent back here.

But why the trouble?

The Anunnaki, the Reptilians and the Greys are all controlled by a non-physical parasitic force, which the Gnostics called Archons. Just like all other beings in our Multiverse, they too feed on energy, but they only require negatively-polarized energy.

Hence they need hosts to convert the non-polarized energy from the Source, into the low frequency energy that is required by them.

Again, everything that exists is made out of energy and needs energy to “survive,” and the Archons are no exception.

Deceptions, deceptions, deceptions

The Anunnaki used trickery many eons ago when they offered to build human vehicles for us, so that we can experience physical life on Earth, and trickery is their game ever since.

They have later presented themselves to us as benevolent gods who came to Earth to mine for gold because life on their planet was allegedly dying off without protection from gold particles sprayed into the atmosphere.

This was yet another trickery, since the Anunnaki had been taking gold from Earth in its pure, atomic state, even before Earth became solid, but they appealed once again to our native predisposition to help and do good, in order to be accepted by us once more.

According to multiple correlations that I’ve made, I strongly believe this took place during the Atlantean times. The Atlanteans lived mostly on a small continent in the Atlantic Ocean.

The Anunnaki observed how the Atlanteans developed meditation techniques that strengthened their connection to the immortal soul and were even able to regain some of their creative capabilities from the Source. But since the downgraded human vehicles were so limited, the Atlanteans found a way to amplify their strength by using massive crystals.

In this book (second volume), it is mentioned advanced technology used by the Atlanteans, as well as the possibility to manifest food with the use of crystals.

This came as a shock to our alien controllers, who decided to infiltrate and corrupt the existing spiritual elites. Long story short, they were eventually able to manipulate some of them into manifesting things ther were not needed and to desire materialistic things.

The disputes between the Atlanteans grew stronger and, either intentionally or by accident, one of the giant crystals exploded, sinking their island into the Atlantic Ocean and bringing and end to the Atlantean age.

According to the same book, one of the crystals sunk at the bottom of the Ocean 3/4 intact, and it was responsible for the “Bermuda Triangle” anomalies. The anomalies stopped happening because the US Navy allegedly removed the broken crystal from the Ocean’s floor and took it to a secret location.

Strangely enough, a team of scientists discovered the ruins of an advanced ancient city at the bottom of the Ocean, in the Bermuda Triangle. There are roads, pyramids and sphinxes, but the scientists unfortunately lack the financing to continue the explorations.

The remaining Atlanteans scrambled in different parts of the Earth, where they’ve tried rebuilding their civilization, with the “help” of the Anunnaki, which have secretly designed new versions of human bodies, downgraded even further.

They’ve even mixed the existing DNA with that of animals and the results were grotesque human-animal hybrids. Then, the souls had been forcibly incarnated into these new versions of humans and human-animal hybrids.

The experimentation continued until the aliens came up with this version of human bodies, which we call Homo Sapiens — the human bodies that we are using today.

But this time they took no more chances, so they also populated the Earth with soulless vessels — empty vehicles — which their masters, the Archons, could control from another dimension.

These bodies look exactly the same as ours and, without the direct interference of the Archons, they go on and live their lives as dictated by the reptilian brain: they eat, sleep, reproduce, fight… basically do everything in their power to survive.

Very important to note: These are human bodies, not human beings!

The human bodies don’t have a soul, hence they lack consciousness; which means that they merely exist, but never get to actually live as a conscious human being. They feel no empathy, no remorse, no love, etc. — they basically have no concept of good or bad whatsoever.

Here’s a short example of what it means to exist without actually being a conscious human being:Ever since I was a child I was guided through many different experiences so that I can now relate to them. It took me many years to understand this, but thanks to those experiences, I am now better prepared to deliver these messages to you.

So here’s a short story that helped me related to the human bodies vs the human beings:

One day, when I was a teen living with my parents, I woke up on the couch, where I was talking to my parents. I was in my pajamas, and I was telling them that I feel OK and there is no need to go to the hospital.

To this day, I don’t remember how I got there, but according to my parents I woke up and went to the bathroom, where they’ve heard me falling. Apparently, I somehow slipped and hit the back of my head in the fall, which made me loose consciousness. My parents found me there and started calling my name. I slowly woke up and I was able to walk to the couch myself.

It probably took me about five minutes from the moment I fell to when I regained consciousness. During this time I talked to my parents, I walked to the couch on my own and I’m sure that I could have go on with my life in that unconscious state indefinitely, but that person wouldn’t have been me.

Now please connect my experience with all those stories about people who changed dramatically after an accident. My hypothesis is that there are dramatic situations, such as accidents, in which the soul is separated from the body, sometimes for good.

Here is one such example:

“In the summer of 1848, a man named Phineas Gage incurred a traumatic injury to the frontal lobe region of his brain after a sudden explosion sent a rod straight through his head. Against many odds, Phineas survived, but afterwards his demeanor changed dramatically. Once a calm, balanced, and levelheaded man, Gage became an overly emotional, unbalanced and quite vulgar man upon recovery. Friends he had had previously, now compared him to an animal and made the perplexing statement, ‘Gage was no longer Gage.'”

These human bodies are indeed very similar to animals, but even less important, because their lifetime experiences amount to nothing.

Even though animals are not souls, such as we are, they do have a primitive form of consciousness that exists beyond the physical death of their vehicles, and their experiences are stored and preserved, whilst when human bodies die, it is the end for them. There is no consciousness that lives on and their experiences die with them.

They only exist to keep the Matrix running and they can be taken over/ possessed at any time by their Archon Masters. It is estimated that about half of the humans are organic portals, meaning they don’t have souls attached to their bodies. And this is the reason why we have so much pain and sufferance in the world.

They are the ones that ascend to positions of power, because their Masters need them there. They are being guided/ helped to occupy as many positions of power as possible, in order to maintain the status quo of the control system.

They are also the perpetrators of sadistic actions such as: murder, pedophilia, depopulation, genocide… you name it. And it is directed at the rest of us, the human beings.

The Matrix is a FARM

Once human beings recharge with non-polarized energy during sleep, it is up to us to give it a polarity.

We, as Divine beings made of positive, Love-energy, would naturally polarize it positively, but since our existence has been hijacked and so many people are being systematically tortured in this Matrix-reality, most of us polarize the energy negatively.

Human beings need to be mentally and physically tormented as much as possible, so that the Archon-masters can feed on our negative emotions. This is the sole purpose of the Matrix-prison.

The Matrix reality is basically a farm of negative energy.

Love and light to all 💓💓💓

#theory #matrix #soul #spirit #human #archon #annunaki #alien #et

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artlessictoan · 6 years

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Day 3 – Polyamory, KaruHinaTema

took ages to get any ideas for this day but some of my fic-buds gave me a couple of prompts, ended up longer than intended but i’m happy with it! (hina is trans btw)

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Day 3 – Polyamory, KaruHinaTema

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Her hand was trembling as she painstakingly painted a single line, her breathing shallow and rapid. If she didn’t calm herself down quickly, Hinata was going to end up taking her own eye out, but she just couldn’t bring her arm under her complete control, not even when she brought her free hand to steady it – if anything, that just made her shaking even worse.

Finally, her liner was complete; she opened her eye to see the result. It immediately disappeared underneath her eyelid. She had to restrain the urge to growl as she pressed a little closer to the mirror and – keeping her eye open this time – drew another line across her skin.

Blinking at her reflection, she couldn’t help but grimace. She leaned back in the hopes that maybe it just looked so bad because she was staring at point-blank range, but the extra distance didn’t really make the black streak across her eyelid any less wobbly.

Crying would definitely just make her terrible attempt at winged eyeliner even more smudgy, but she really was tempted to break down; just for a few minutes.

It was safe to say that she failed hard at makeup. Maybe the foundation kind of worked, if you didn’t mind it being half an inch thick, and it was difficult to mess up lipstick, though she wished she’d gone with a different shade, but her eyes were completely unsalvageable. She really should’ve watched some videos before attempting this, but she’d been rummaging through dresser drawers trying to find her contact cleaner and there were some old bottles that Temari had probably gotten for her birthday and never bothered to use sitting right there and before she’d really registered what she was doing the tiny four year-old who’d sit on her mother’s lap while she was doing her makeup had pulled the cap off the lipstick and now she had this mess to deal with.

Hinata sighed, rummaging around the dresser for tissues when the faint click of the door being opened made her jump. Hand pressed against her thudding heart, she turned to face her girlfriend, who was already apologising for scaring her – she could never resent Temari’s habit of creeping around the house in near-total silence, but that didn’t mean she had to like it – before she actually took the time to really look her up and down.

Quite obviously biting back a smirk, she gestured vaguely to Hinata’s face. “Bold look you’re going for there.”

Giving her girlfriend the blankest look she was capable of – and she’d had a lot of practice from listening to her father’s transphobic comments throughout her childhood – she returned to opening drawers until she found the makeup remover. “Your entire face is a bold look, but you don’t hear me talking about it.”

Five years ago, she never would’ve dared say anything like that to anyone, not even behind their back, but her girlfriends had been encouraging her to let her ‘sassy thoughts’ out, if only because they got a kick out of the disconnect between her sweet, feminine image and her surprisingly sharp comments, especially when there were others around to gap in shock.

“Wow, not pulling any punches today are we?” Temari was laughing hard, her giant grin showing off her dimples.

Hinata couldn’t help smiling a little herself; they were just so cute.

“Seriously though, what’s with all this?”

It took a long while to find an answer, time she spent staring at her reflection and overlaying it with the image she’d had in her head. “I… just wanted to try it.”

There was a small huff from her side, before Temari wiggled her way between Hinata and the dresser, sitting down on it as she pressed her rough-skinned hands to either side of her face. Her thumbs rubbed gently under her eyes as she said, “It’s for you, right? Not because it’s what people expect from you, or because they don’t have the right eyes to see how perfect you are or-”

“It’s for me,” she said, giggling and laying her own hands over Temari’s. “I just think it’s so beautiful, to be able to paint your truest self onto your skin… it’s like your tattoos, I just want another way to express myself.”

Dark eyes stared deeply into hers for what felt like a lifetime, but eventually her girlfriend was satisfied with whatever she found there. “Alright, good. Now shuffle back a bit so I can fix this.”

She blinked as she tried to digest Temari’s implication.

“Oh, don’t give me that look!” Slapping lightly at her arm, Temari forcibly pushed her chair back a few inches and settled more comfortably on the dresser, picking up the pack of baby wipes and fighting with the seal.

Hinata had to bite her lip, eyeing her girlfriend’s completely bare face doubtfully. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing? I mean, you’re kinda butch…”

Temari rolled her dark eyes, flapping a wipe in one hand before slapping it to Hinata’s cheek. “I’m very butch, thank you.” Apparently, she still didn’t look very impressed, because she rubbed away at her forehead harder than was strictly necessary. “C’mon, I’ve seen both my brothers do this a million times before, how hard could it possibly be?”

---

“…Temari what the fuck are you doing to our baby girl?”

Perhaps she should’ve jumped to her defence, but honestly at this point Hinata was too horrified by her own reflection to even look at Karui as she walked into their bedroom.

“Shut up, I can still make this work!”

Karui’s face appeared in the mirror, one brow raised and her mouth pulled into a tight line. “Kinda looks like you’ve just punched her in the eyes a couple times and then bit her entire mouth – is that supposed to be lip-liner?”

Slapping their meddling girlfriend away, Temari pulled at Hinata’s chin and swiped a foundation laden brush under her eyes – a poor attempt to cover up the deep plum eyeshadow that she’d been more than a little overeager with – all while snapping, “I. Can. Do. This.”

“And by ‘this’ you mean ‘make our beautiful angel look like a sleep-deprived clown?’ If so then good job.”

“If you’re just going to criticise you can do it somewhere else, I’m trying to concentrate here, besides, Hina thinks I’m doing a good job, right babe?” She didn’t bother replying, because anything she might say would only be ignored when the stubborn woman had a point to prove, but hopefully her expression would get her feelings on the matter across quite well. “See, she loves it.”

Karui’s mouth dropped open in horror when Temari reached for an eyeshadow pallet, selected the glittery gold one and spread it across one eyelid.

“Ok, no, see you’re just drawing attention to the piss-poor job you’ve done, here, stop, just-” Placing one hand fully over Temari’s face, Karui pushed until she was forced to abandon the dresser and immediately took her place, already reaching for the makeup remover. She was gentler in wiping her face clean than Temari was, but Hinata was still fidgeting nervously in her seat when she started eyeing the collection of tubes.

“Is adding another butch to the equation really the best idea?” she asked, berating herself for ever trying this out in the first place; if only because her girlfriends were both too competitive to ever let an opportunity to one-up each other slide. “I can just look up some tutorials or something…”

Already squeezing out a little foundation onto the back of her hand, Karui shook her head. “Nope, I’m gonna do this right, my girl deserves nothing but the best! Now what kinda look are you going for?”

“I-” she frowned when, instead of reaching for the brush, Karui instead picked up some moisturiser and added a blob next to the foundation, then gradually mixed the two products together “-I guess something natural… I did want to draw attention to my eyes though.”

Loading a brush with the combined liquid, she set to work.

It was already off to a better start than either of the two previous attempts – mixing the foundation with moisturiser seemed to have lightened it to a shade that better matched her skin and Karui was much more sparing with the product, by the time she was done with it Hinata could barely even feel anything on her face. Next was the highlighter that she’d been too nervous to try out herself, carefully applied to her cheekbones, a light sweep of blush underneath that, finished off with a dusting of that unmarked powder that she’d had no idea how to use.

At some point Temari had leaned in to glare at the work being done. “How the fuck are you so good at this, I’ve literally never seen you wear makeup.”

Karui snorted and leaned back to scrutinise the small selection of lipsticks available, saying, “Yeah, that’s how good I am; you think this jawline is natural?” She held up two in front of Hinata, pursing her lips before chucking one back on the dresser and taking hold of Hinata’s chin, tilting it until she had full access to her lips.

“Seriously?” Temari sounded unimpressed for about five seconds before bursting out laughing.

Carefully swiping a lipstick-coated finger across Hinata’s mouth, Karui glanced at their girlfriend with a very familiar look, Hinata had to giggle slightly in agreement – receiving a flick to the nose for almost messing up Karui’s stroke.

“We can’t all be blessed with cheekbones that could slice through metal-” she turned to Temari with her most obnoxious grin “-just like we can’t all know how to draw a straight fucking line.”

The laughter stopped dead. “Her eyes kept moving, how am I supposed to work with that!”

She was pointedly ignored by the artist, who was too busy dabbing a small brush in the dark grey powder and telling Hinata to close her eyes. The gentle pressure at the lower edge of her eyelid made her try to blink, but as the sensation continued the urge to shudder grew weaker, every time there was a brief respite she wanted to open them again, but Karui’s tutting quickly taught her to just keep them shut until instructed otherwise.

It was a little exciting though, having no idea what was going on, only the strokes against sensitive skin and Temari’s noises of annoyed admiration – an emotion she expressed so often that Hinata could pick it up a mile off, even without seeing her cute, pouting face – to guide her expectations. At some point colours must’ve been changed, because the power felt just slightly different, a little heavier, and a breathy ‘Ohhh’ was released to her left.

She was fidgeting in her seat like a child waiting for their birthday cake to be revealed, burrowing both hands under her thighs just to keep them from flapping, biting the inside of her cheek so she wouldn’t bite her lips and mess them up, heart hammering in her chest every time she heard the clicking and popping of various tubes and compacts, stopping for a moment when she felt the fine, liquid brush sweep under her eyes in a single fluid motion, then rushing back like a drum when Karui told her to open up.

The sensation of slightly powdery skin sliding against skin was unnerving, but when she realised that both her girlfriends were strategically positioned to completely hide the mirror from her desperate eyes all discomfort vanished.

Before she could build up the rant she had planned, Karui snickered and waved a mascara wand in her face. “Look up for a sec and try not to blink.”

“You’d better let me see as soon as you’re done,” she muttered, turning her gaze skyward.

Temari’s soft chuckle brought a smile to her face, even as she was fighting to keep her eyes from flickering so hard that she had to imagine the mascara was going to end up washed away by her tears before any product stuck. “You look so fucking amazing sweetie, I hate it.”

She laughed, hissing when it made Karui accidentally poke the corner of her eye – only on the lid, thank god – but still managed to say, “Such high praise!”

“You’re just bitter ‘cause you lost, loser.” Luckily by the time Temari slapped her arm playfully, Karui had put the wand down and Hinata’s eyes were spared any further torture. She blinked a few times to clear them and glanced back at the two loves of her life, both squashed onto the small dresser having a shoving match that was more endearing than it had any right to be. “Ok, ok-” Karui gave the blonde one last elbow and turned to Hinata with that wide, beautiful grin, “-you ready for this?”

Nodding so hard she gave herself a headrush, she practically dove to the mirror the second they jumped to their feet.

She looked… gorgeous. Never would she have chosen such a bold look for herself, but the subtle sweep of silver across her eyelids, with just a slight hint of glitter when she tilted her head, contrasted with the hard, electric blue streak clinging to her lower lids, really brought out what she’d always considered her best feature.

Tears were definitely coming again, but this time it couldn’t be for a better reason. She spun round to face Temari and Karui, both wearing identical grins, and wrapped an arm around each of their necks. “I love it, thank you so much!” She immediately released them, spinning back to stare at herself some more, mind suddenly filled with all the possibilities she could explore in this whole new avenue of artistic expression.

Karui stalked up behind her, throwing her arm across her shoulders and raising a brow. “You realise that Temari did literally nothing helpful, right?”

“I will snap your fucking neck-”

---

#ictoan writes #narutofemslashweek2018 #karuhinatema #hinata hyuga #temari #karui #naruto #just a femme trans girl getting doted on by her two butch gfs #anyways this ship is The Good Shit #why isn't there more content for it????

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cinnamonrollpatton · 6 years

Text

Nightmare

Happy @fander-secret-santa @leesacrakon!!

I hope you enjoy the fic!

Roman doesn't know how exactly it started, but his dream is spiraling out of control, fast.

He's running. From what he doesn't know- his chaser keeps changing forms. The dragon-witch. Mutant spiders. Zombie carrots. Every time Roman glances back the form is different, and his heart only beats faster.

He doesn't look back anymore.

Leaves crunch under Roman's feet as he runs blindly in the dark. This is his realm; everything that happens here is a direct result of what he thinks up, and he should be able to control himself. He knows this already. He knows this.

Yet he can't stop; he wonders 'what if's and the world adjusts as Roman's thoughts grow more and more out of control. The world becomes darker, shadows grow more sinister, monsters appear more grotesque, and his chaser grows faster and switches forms and Roman knows he's causing this and he should have control and he needs to stop but he just can't.

But he can run. It's not very Prince-like of him, but it's all he can do.

He vaguely wonders if running so fast in the dark is a good idea. After all, he can barely see his own feet- what's to say he doesn't run straight into a tree or a cliff or a-

There's air where the ground should be, and suddenly Roman is falling.

He flails helplessly, screaming into the nothingness surrounding him. A memory haunts him as he falls, a then encouraging, now mocking voice: 'Come on, you're the creative one.'

He is the creative one; he should be able to think of a solution to this easily. But just like then Roman's mind has decided to come to a complete blank. His limbs reach out randomly, but there’s nothing to grasp onto. He’s vaguely reminded of Dr. Facilier being dragged into his inevitable demise as he falls, and Roman groans at the instant change in his surroundings.

The darkness has morphed into somehow even more ominous shades of purple and green, and there are colorful spirits flying and dancing around him as he falls, taunting and sneering at him.

“Are you ready?” They sing as a group, like Roman is the evil voodoo doctor getting a visit from karma.

No, Roman is not ready but that doesn’t seem to matter because he keeps falling and the spirits keep singing and Roman still can’t stop any of it.

“-Princey!” Roman barely hears over the taunting singing. The voice sounds like Virgil, but that doesn’t make sense as Roman hasn’t seen the anxious side as part of this nightmare yet. Granted, he can’t really sense anything besides the flying spirits and the air whooshing around him as he falls.

“Wake up!” The Virgil-voice yells.

Roman feels a slight lurch in his stomach, an indicator someone is forcibly removing him from the dreamscape- and before Roman can process anything, the dreamscape disappears instantly.

...

"Wake up!"

Roman sits straight up on his bed, wide-eyed and scatterbrained. Virgil is leaning over him, and Roman can't even ponder why the anxious side is in his room because his mind is still running and spiraling fast. Roman's hands go to his head, and he's breathing hard like he's still running, still stuck in the nightmare.

He can't catch his breath.

Virgil must've had the same conclusion; he gently grasps Roman's hands and starts attempting to pry them away from his head. "Hey, calm down," he says. "Loosen your hands for me,"

"I can't breathe"

"It's ok. We can fix that."

"No!"

"...no?"

"No, it's not ok." Roman said. "This is not ok this is my fault I'm being too much it's too much and I can't stop I can't-"

"Whoa, Roman," Virgil gives up on Roman's hands and moves his grip to the prince's shoulders. "Slow down, buddy,"

"I can't do it! What if I never get control of my dreamscape again? What if I'm always chased by my fears? What if-" Roman stops to gasp a breath. "What if it follows me back here?"

Roman instantly regrets voicing the thought because before he's even done asking the question, there is a faint but ominous dragon-witch shadow forming directly behind Virgil. Son of a bee-sting, he thinks as his eyes transfix in horror at the growing nightmare.

"What?" Virgil asks, following Roman's gaze to the shadows forming behind him. "Oh," he turns back to Roman. "Roman, it's ok."

"No it's not! This is my fault! " The dragon-witch is becoming tangible outside of Roman's creative realm and that's bad and wrong and completely Roman's fault because he just can't stop-

"Roman!" Virgil grabs his shoulders, shifting him until his back is to the ever lurking shadow. "Ok here we go, just look at me"

Roman does. Virgil's hair is, for once, not concealing his face, creating a full view of his abundant eye-shadow and was the makeup... growing darker? Growing like the shadows in his dream- oh god-

"Stop that!" Virgil gives him a little shake. Roman blinks, and his eyes find Virgil's again. "There we go. Ok, let's breathe in for four, alright? One two..."

Roman lets Virgil guide him through the breathing exercise. As his breathing calms, the shadows slowly fade out of existence. When they completely fade away, Roman collapses onto Virgil's shoulder, exhausted as the adrenaline in him dies down. Virgil brings his hand to rest on Roman's back.

"That was something," Roman mutters once he has control over himself.

Virgil hums in agreement. "You going to tell me what that was about?"

Roman moves away from Virgil's embrace. "Hey, what time is it? And while I am grateful, what are you doing in my room?" Roman asks, not very subtly avoiding Virgil's question.

Virgil gestures to himself like it was obvious. "I'm Anxiety; I can feel when panic builds up inside any of us, whether it's Thomas, you, or the one of the others. There was more coming from your room than usual so I decided to investigate." His expression softens. "You're not like me; you don't become stressed out over nothing. What's up?"

Roman opens his mouth to respond-

"And don't deflect this time; I'm not leaving until you give me a straight answer."

Roman can’t help it; the setup is too easy. "But nothing about us is straight."

Virgil covers his mouth to muffle a chuckle. Roman feels himself smiling as well. "Alright, that was funny," Virgil admits. "But you still have to answer the question, dude."

Roman sighs and lets his eyes wander anywhere in the room that is not Virgil. "I had a nightmare," he admits.

Virgil nods, silently encouraging him to continue.

“It was...rather unpleasant.” Roman swallows. “I had to run away from my creations.”

“Why did you have to run away from them?”

“Because…” Because I can't control myself, Roman thinks. Because I was panicking. Because I wasn't strong enough to face them. “...because I couldn't stop...anything.” Roman settles on saying.

Virgil initially waits for Roman to continue. He doesn't. His eyes are still avoiding Virgil’s, and now his hands are fiddling with the bottom of his pajama shirt.

“What do you mean?” Virgil asks carefully.

“I couldn't stop anything. I couldn't stop bringing my thoughts to life. I couldn't stop my creations. I couldn't stop myself. And I need to be able to stop myself-”

“Whoa buddy,” Virgil interrupts Roman before he talks himself into a panic again and puts his hands up in a placating gesture. “Take a breath.”

Roman inhales and exhales slowly.

“Alright,” Virgil says. “It's ok that you don't have that much self restraint, you know. That's what I'm for. There's a reason we work together. You think up ideas while your head's in the clouds, and when you fly too far up I'll pull you back to the ground. That's kind of how we operate.”

Roman frowns. “I know that. That's not the problem.”

“So what's the problem?” Virgil asks calmly.

Roman looks off to the side. “...me”.

Virgil’s eyebrows furrow in concern. “Roman...” he says softly.

But Roman has flown off into the storm clouds. “I've been such a royal pain in the butt to you guys recently,” he says, closing his eyes. “I’ve been hurting everyone so many flipping times I’ve lost track. I couldn’t see you as anything more than a villian for the longest time. And I kept trying to respark Thomas’ romance with his ex. And even when I knew it wasn’t what he wanted, and that it was hurting him, I kept pushing Thomas toward reconciling with him because I just couldn’t stop.” Roman’s voice drops in volume. “If I had better self control, I would be hurting you guys less. I need to stop being creative and romantic all the time.”

“But then you wouldn’t be you, Roman,” Virgil says. “All of us like you exactly as you are: a creative, very extra and passionate prince, even if you drive me up the wall sometimes. You wouldn’t be our hero if you were anyone else.”

“But real heroes are supposed to save the ones they care about, not hurt them.” Roman mutters.

“I guess,” Virgil shrugs. “But think of it this way: are you ever mad at Patton when he’s feeling down?”

“What? Of course not,” Roman says, eyes flying open in shock. “Why would I be mad at him? He can’t help it; he’s the most emotional out of all of us.”

“Right,” Virgil says. “Are you ever mad at me when I have an anxiety attack?”

“No!” Roman says vehemently. “Never,”

“So why should we be upset with you?”

Roman blinks.

“You can’t help the way you are, Roman. You’re naturally imaginative and yeah, at times, you're too imaginative and that causes problems but that's why all four of us work together. We'll balance you out, like dude I never hesitate to tell you when your ideas are too extra, right?”

“Right,” Roman nods. He’s painfully aware of every time Virgil shuts down his ideas; for the first time in his life, Roman finds it relieving.

“So how about in the future, you just focus on being your creative self and I’ll worry about if you’re being too much, considering worrying is kinda my thing?” Virgil asks, smiling.

“Deal,” Roman matches his smile.

A moment of peaceful silence passes between them.

“Thank you, Virgil,” Roman says. “You’re a really are a good guy, you know.”

“Whatever,” Virgil tries to shrug it off, but fails to hide the ever-growing smile on his face. “Anyways, it’s getting pretty late. Good night!” he says as he gets up to leave.

“Wait!” Roman quickly grabs Virgil’s arm without thinking. Virgil stops, sits back down, and turns back to Roman. “Can you- um,” Roman tries. His words aren’t working for him; it’s a simple request- one that Virgil and Patton asks of Logan and him all the time- but Roman just can’t seem to get the words out of his mouth.

“Would you mind- um-” Roman closes his eyes and breathes while Virgil waits silently. “I don’t have nightmares that often and they’re always so-” he breaks off again.

“Princey, do you want me to stay here tonight?” Virgil asks. Roman nods. “Ok,” Virgil immediately lies down on the bed on top of the covers and spreads himself out, effectively using all of the space in addition to Roman’s pillow.

Roman blinks. He’s relieved Virgil understood his reluctance to be alone after his nightmare, but now he has a different issue altogether.

“Wait a second,” Roman says. “Don’t take up all the space! And go get your own pillow!” He says as he attempts to shove Virgil to only one side of the bed.

“Nah, I’m good right here,” Virgil says with a smirk as he refuses to be moved.

“Virgil!”

“Nope, not moving!”

Roman rolls his eyes, not particularly annoyed. “Fine,” he says, getting up from his bed to leave the room.

“Wait, where are you going?” Virgil asks, but Roman ignores him. He quickly walks into Virgil’s room, yanks the pillow from his bed, and returns to his own room. Except for his arms now folded behind his head, Virgil hasn’t moved an itch. That’s fine by Roman- it makes his plan easier. Roman sits on the edge of the bed with Virgil’s pillow securely in his hands.

“Virgil, you are my friend, and I love you dearly,” Roman says in an uncharacteristically sober tone that doesn’t quite match the twitching grin he’s trying, and failing, to suppress.

Now wary, Virgil half-sits up, supporting his weight on his elbows and narrows his eyes at Roman. “But…?” Virgil asks.

Roman quickly raises the pillow in his hands above his head and smacks Virgil with it. Virgil shrieks.

“But! Friends! Don’t! Steal! Other! Friends’! Pillows!” Roman says with a grin, hitting Virgil on each word.

Laughing, Virgil tries using one hand to block Roman’s attack. It doesn’t dawn on Roman to watch out for his other hand until the royal side is being smacked by his own pillow.

The pillow fight quickly escalates until both sides are laughing too hard to aim straight, and they both collapse on the bed, this time on their respective pillows and below the blankets.

“Hey,” Virgil says softly. “Are you good now?”

“Yeah,” Roman says. “I’m good.”

#sander sides #thatsthat24 #roman sanders #virgil sanders #this is the first fic I've ever completed guys :D #I feel like a proud parent lol #Storm writes

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