#and i never even knew how to end it

[anna-scribbles]

do you think émilie agreste knew, on the day she became too weak to leave that house, that she never would again

#having a normal one. don’t worry about it #just thinking about how she never escaped even in death etc etc #do you think she knew even as she pleaded with gabriel to give up on her that he never would. #that no one truly loved her enough to heed her warnings #that adrien was going to be left alone #what must it have been like for her to grow slower and weaker and quieter until she was as still as the bed d #do you think she knew she was becoming another fixture of that house #beautiful and immovable and silent #how long did gabriel have that coffin ready in the basement. how much time did he spend building it. did nathalie help. #did emilie know where they went in those long hours she laid there dying? that they intended to keep her there -always dying and never dead? #is that why she left videos? because she knew they’d build an altar for her haunting and she had to give her ghost a voice? #i think often about gabriel saying that emilie never wanted what she deserved #i think about gabriel and nathalie not letting her die. i think about ladybug not letting chat noir die. #circles and cycles ending up right back where you started #you know. having a normal one #anna rambles #emilie agreste #thirteen

[laniidae-passerine]

I made my post about Dean Highbottom and then as I was writing my tags realised that his Hunger Games counterpart is Haymitch. and now my head is in my hands and I don’t think I’ll ever recover

#IM GOING TO CRY. I am part of the system I never wanted anything to do with it #I killed so many people without laying a hand on them. I never ever asked for this. I tried to say no. my hands are still bloody. #both turned to drugs to cope. both had a mentee who reminded them of someone they hated so much #(snow reminded the dean of his old friend. katniss reminded haymitch of himself) #both knew exactly how the games worked and all of its consequences because one made it and the other lived it #both lived in the shadows of the past and never really got out from it #but in the end one of them chose to be cruel to the children who they were asked to mentor #and the other loved even when it was killing him #god. twenty three years and they never managed to drown the fire out of him. his heart broke again and again #but he held onto those shards even as they made his hands bleed. and then one day two children appeared and pieced it back together #and some of it was missing and always would be. you can’t undo twenty three years of alcoholism and pain and grief and self loathing #but a lot of it was still there. far more than he ever even believed could have survived #Haymitch I love youuuuuuuuu I will always love you #and Dean Highbottom you were kinda cringe and lame. guynobody ass bitch. do better #haymitch abernathy #dean highbottom #thg #the hunger games #a ballad of songbirds and snakes #abosas

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

Are you still active on tumblr?

YES I am!! Sorry friends for dropping off the face of the earth, I got a job and I had to move and it was a lot. But I am less stressed now and I hope I can get back to posting more regularly!! I really missed it (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

I will never leave tumblr because there is no other place on the internet where I can tell people that 80% of the time when I try to introduce myself to someone in the office that I haven’t met yet I get so focused on smiling and holding eye contact that I forget the part where I actually have to introduce myself (°□°)

#HELLO FRIENDS #how are you!! I missed you! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ #I hope you all had a good summer!! #mine was very nice even though there was a lot of stress and new things happening #suddenly there were so many adult things in my life that at the end of the day I just sat on the couch and watched decorating shows #I love decorating shows but today they showed this decorating competition and one woman had to decorate her whole bedroom coral #and then I knew it was time to go back #friends I've done so many new things the past few weeks!! I've really underestimated what this new chapter of my life would be like #it's very nice and I'm glad but I've never thought about things like insurance and taxes and parallel parking before #and I'm in a new apartment and everything!! ✧⁺⸜(●′▾‵●)⸝⁺✧ #it is a very good apartment but the landlord left us so many of their chairs #this does not sound like a problem but we also owned chairs before #so our chair number is doubled now #the kitchen is full of chairs the balcony is full of chairs #I've hidden two chairs behind the TV but I can still see their chair heads and then I feel bad because they do not deserve this #they should be roaming free #also rode a BIKE #they say you never forget how to ride a bike #but my secret is that I never really knew how to ride one #in Germany all students have to do a bicyle test in fourth grade and I was so bad that my teacher asked me #afterwards if I had tried to confuse the other students #I just said 'uh yes' and then he said ok and I passed with the worst bicyle grade of the whole school #I hade made 8 bicyle mistakes #I hope you're doing well friends!! see you soon!! #have a nice day :)

[starmist]

I genuinely believe Naksu haunts the narrative. Her actions and existence as Naksu heavily impact the entire story. Her past, the life she lived and the shadow of it in Mudeok. But we don't actually know any of it because Naksu is not in the story.

Like. What she lost as Cho Yeong is something that we are never allowed to forget, the loss of her body, her powers, her freedom, and her impending death as a soul shifter hangs over Mudeok's head like guillotine.

All the while we don't actually know the Shadow Assassin Naksu, she died in the first episode, as soon as the story began. Other than training and killing (soul shifters) what kind of person was she when she didn't have to rely on another person else or hide or live as someone else? We don't know and we don't ever learn any of that.

Still, her absence is the plot, yet her former existence as Naksu influences everything; Yul's actions and what she was to him, Jang Uk's goal of returning her powers, the revelation of soul shifters to Park Jin, Jang Gang's departure, Jin Mu's accomplishments, the King's Star even.

Everything is about her existence but she doesn't actually exist at all anymore.

#before anyone disagrees she declares naksu dead in ep 5 or something and tell yul the person he knew no longer exists in ep 19 #naksu is dead but the shadow of her hangs over everything #what could have been and what wasn't is mourned in nearly episode #alchemy of souls #also im not saying one life is better than the other but there is always this sense of loss in mudeok that is never forgotten by the story #SHE DESERVED TO LIVE AS HERSELF #Also for me its the tragedy of all of it that makes the show so good #like dont get me wrong im certifiably insane over the romance and would be very happy with the ending offered but even the then the best pa #*the happy ending #is that #she escaped the circle of tragedy shes been trapped in #and has so many people that she loves and cares for now and how those ppl care for her just as much #this post is brought to you by: my mutual and i finally finishing our rewatch

[i-really-like-phrogs]

Re-design of my un-named Beetlejuice OC from back when I was thirteen

Original Reference under the cut:

#my art #beetlejuice #toonjuice #beetlejuice cartoon #beetlejuice fanart #beetlejuice movie #procreate #I don’t really make OC’s for fanwork anymore… but the ones I had when I was younger almost never got named 🥲 #When I first made her I really really liked her- and her story was very self indulgent #Looking at it now is almost way too weird for me… (and honestly a little unintentionally homophobic???) #Basically she was one of the girls from Dante’s inferno… except she got kicked out because she only had attraction to girls #(This was BEFORE I suspected that I was a lesbian— mind you.) #Yeah but anyway she went to the Deetz/Maitland house looking for a place to stay but drove everybody crazy #She was super flamboyant- loved everything pink n fluffy- and was well meaning but did more harm than good trying to do nice things for the #She had this one sided crush on Delia??? Like musical Beej and Adam except less perverted and more flirty/sappy? I was an odd kid- okay? 🥲 #Anyway… the old design didn’t really do much to show off her personality… so I ended up upheaving the whole thing #So I upheaved the whole thing. #It was okay for what I knew at the time- but I know what I was trying to say then and now I have the knowledge to say it better #Also— the reason I gave her horns here is so silly. #When I was younger I was in a Christian school where I wasn’t allowed to draw witches-ghosts-demons-etc. #So even though I based her on the Dante girls… I refused to give her horns because I thought that was ‘too sinful’ #I even remember having so much guilt while looking for references of the Dante workers #I couldn’t even look for more than five seconds! #Anyways… she really pushed the boundaries for me at the time and it’s fun to see how I’ve changed and grown since then.

[goldkirk]

I'm so proud of myself about finances in the past couple months. I still struggle with money but I did enough meditation and journaling and practicing about it to make myself able to actually face my loans and credit cards and savings and bills and start really truly organizing and addressing them for the first time in years instead of just flying by the seat of my pants.

Like. This is a huge deal for me. I've felt like I'm in deadly danger every time I've tried to think about money for years and years. I'm finally able to look it in the face and stare it down and start to organize and plan on purpose instead of just keeping up with the minimum to stay afloat. I'm so proud of myself.

It's still a refrain of "GUILT (funny link)" every time I think about money but I'm able to actually make spreadsheets and face the numbers and monthly tracking again, and even make a new full budget which I haven't been able to do in ages.

still feel guilt, overwhelm, and helplessness, but no longer feel as much deep elemental shame and terror. that's progress baby

#we don't need to talk about how many months and months of therapy visits and doctor appointments I put on credit cards #among other things #but I had to put my foot down about it a couple months ago and shout at myself a little saying HEY #I AM SHAKING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS I AM SHOUTING FOR YOU TO HEAR #OF COURSE IT WAS A TERRIBLE FINANCIAL DECISION BUT YOU WEREN'T EVEN EXPECTING TO BE ALIVE #THE CREDIT CARD DEBT WAS NECESSARY TO KEEP YOU ALIVE AND IT DID AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS WAY LESS IMPORTANT THAN THAT #why the FUCK are you feeling SO ASHAMED for making the best decision you knew how to make at the time??? #just because you know NOW that you could have tried some other options doesn't mean you did THEN #you may have known enough to feel shame and guilt yes but you would never in a million years have gotten the help you needed fast enough #by attempting to go another route #you didn't trust anyone besides a very few handfuls of people and even them it wasn't fully #and the stress of running it through parental insurance was so terrifying to you bc you didn't know what that would do #and you never had cosigners for anything your whole adult life. it's OKAY #you fucking DID YOUR BEST #YOU HAVE LEARNED. YOU HAVE MADE CHANGES. YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE BETTER #YOU WILL CONTINUE TO LEARN AND IMPROVE OVER TIME #it is not the end of the world. even the utilities sending you to debt collections etc etc #YOU ARE FIGURING IT OUT ONE PIECE AT A TIME #MORE PEOPLE ARE ASHAMED AND AFRAID OF THEIR OWN FINANCES THAN YOU THINK #if the people who fought and argued with and shamed you for considering student loans much less taking them out #had wanted you to actually be financially safer and healthier #they could have just fucking helped out or cosigned your loans or actively helped you find other solutions #instead of spending months and months telling you it was the worst decision ever and would ruin you financially for decades and such #you made the best decisions you could with the level of terror and knowledge that you had. it was enough to keep you alive. #isn't that enough? #isn't it a victory to survive?? isn't that enough?????? #god i'm cringing at sharing this but if it's been this hard for me surely at LEAST one of you has also made financial mistakes or regrets #and seeing me be honest that I fucked it all up too and it's a mess and I'm just climbing back through it as best as I can as I go #will hopefully make at least one of you feel a tiny bit less alone

[dacrekayd]

someone make a fic about eddie not trusting that steve is actually a good guy who wants to be friends (and more) and keeps being a dick to steve out of self preservation and no one noticing how much steve is hurting and how he’s slowly pulling away from them and retreating into himself bc he knew it he knew he wasn’t good enough he knew he’d never be good enough for anyone not his parents not nancy not his stupid high school friends and definitely not eddie fucking munson who looks at steve like he’s the scum at the bottom of his boot and calls him King Steve, and Your Highness in the most derogatory way he can manage but it’s never Just Steve and it makes steve feel so so small and he’s just so tired and emotionally rung bc he really liked eddie and he really thought they could’ve had something amazing and soft and sweet and he’s just so heartbroken that this amazing man hates him so goddamn much

#and then steve just can’t take it anymore and he just. stops trying #he doesn’t try to be friendly with eddie anymore he doesn’t acknowledge him when they’re in the same room #he flinches when eddie pats him on the shoulder once #and eddie thinks he just can’t stand his touch #and he feels sickly vindicated #like i knew king steve would never want the freak touch him i knew he hadn’t changed #and steve is just so tired #he can’t even feel comfortable around his friends anymore bc eddie is always there with a snide comment or a vicious little smile aimed #soley at steve and steve just wants to go home and cry #being alone sounds better than whatever fucked up thing eddie is going to do to him today #and the worst part is no one fucking notices #no one notices how mean eddie is to steve #and steve knows #knows that he’s not important enough to be paid attention to #but it still hurts #and steve just wishes eddie were a little more like billy #steve would rather take another plate to the head than to listen to eddie’s cruel little remarks again #this got away from me i wanted a happy ending but i guess my period was like no happy. only angst #steddie

[poisonousquinzel]

Thinking about how likely it is that BTAS Ivy grew old n spent all of that time fully believing that Harley died. That despite all her efforts and desperation to save her and get her away from Joker she didn't, she couldn't, and she lost her. That Harley died the same day that wretched man did and it became just yet another thing linking her to him for eternity.

thinking about how BTAS Ivy loved her So much and never got the chance to grow old with her, to see her heal and recover, to heal and recover with her

thinking about how much they deserved their happy ending but never got one. how we're seeing & getting their Less Platonic moments in the newer BTAS comics with the impending knowledge that the narrative has already decided it's a fate they'll never truly get to indulge in and savor, that it will always be destined to end in tragedy.

how for some universes a happy ending is given, growing old together is just the future we know is already there awaiting them... but not for them, not for btas harlivy... not the originals, for their story will always be a tragedy.

#gonna haunt me that ivy never saw nana harley and probably died believing harley had been waiting for her for decades when really #she had a family and kids and grandkids #and she did heal #just not with her .... #imo i think harley got amnesia and it took a Long time for her to even remember being harley quinn or harleen #and she had to recover and heal and eventually the memories came back #but at that point going back to Gotham wasn't an option and there wasn't anything there for her #ivy wasn't in gotham and He was dead #and everyone believed she was dead too #it was as fresh of a start as she was gonna get #one day i will fuck around and write the ''ivy sees her in public after thinking she died and realizes harley doesn't remember her'' bunny #that's been bouncing around my head #and obvi with her remembering and them being happy<333 #//// AND LIKE THEY DATED #she didnt just lose her best friend who she loves in a less than platonic way btas harlivy is CANON even outaide #*outside #of the stuff from Batgirl Adventures with Plant Ivy #like she loved her and she knew harley loved her too and that their happy ending was possible and he stole it from them #in every way #because harley loved him too and he knew that and he knew how to weasel his way back in #i am #miserable<3 #harley quinn #harleen quinzel #poison ivy #pamela isley #harlivy #dc comics #also this is about how harley was assumed dead during her fight with Batgirl #in the Return of The J0ker movie

[schmweed]

Succession | S02E02

#Gerri Kellman #Roman Ray #Can you just come over? I... I want you in the room. #The entitled-yet-timid-yet-hopeful way he asks! #I think he had zero idea how he felt about Gerri. The attraction he knew. The show showed us that with Gerri's very first appearance in 102 #But I don't think he knew how deeply this thing ran and that it wasn't just about attraction. I don't think he knew he was in love #I love that the amazing Jesse Armstrong wrote “thrown” under Gerri's name after Roman asks her this #Also Roman would never be that vulnerable with anyone else. Ever. #only her. These two. My heart! They WILL get their happy ending. #Succession #my gifs #I love how Gerri has ZERO idea what's happening. She's offended that he swore and hung up #She has no idea Roman let himself be so vulnerable his only resort now -- the only tool he knows -- is swearing and feigned nonchalance. #Also also! How much he needs her presence. I love how Jesse Armstrong wrote it. #The absolute simple heart-wrenching honesty of “I want you in the room” #and he didn't even know. He didn't even KNOW back then that he's in love with her.

[ageless-aislynn]

Doctor Who "The Giggle" spoilers

It took 15 years but finally, finally, the awful pain inflicted by DW s4x13 "Journey's End" was healed in my fangirl heart. I'm not even saying that facetiously, my friends. Donna's ending in s4 hurt. The fact that here in the year 2023, Donna not only got her memory back, but she got the Doctor back? And the Doctor finally stopped running? And he found a home, found a family, and it's with Donna?

I can hardly believe it.

It took so very long but they got the happy ending they were denied back in 2008. I can't even tell you how happy I am right now. 🤗💖

#doctor who #doctor who spoilers #dw spoilers #spoilers #okay yeah if you knew me in my dw days then you know i'm a ten x donna shipper #but this ending is just SO much better than how they were left previously #i don't even care that it wasn't left as them in a romantic relationship #he's HAPPY #she's HAPPY #they're together #they have a family #they love each other #that's just so much more than we had previously #her without her memory sent back to how she was when we first met her #him standing in the rain running away alone yet again #and then look at them now #this was a gift i never expected #i honestly thought he'd just regenerate and she's go off with her family and that was as 'happy' as we could expect #but they're together and they're happy and i just appreciate that so very much #my bbs are happy #i'm so glad #i wish i could let 2008!me know that they were actually going to fix it in canon #i would've never believed it #ageless aislynn

[hooved]

honestly the funniest part about the quodo kiss blooper is that kira had like no reaction to it. it just made so much sense that even she just stood there and watched it happen

#also i'm not just saying this as a quodo shipper but if they kept the kiss blooper in it genuinely would've been a better ending for them #i think it would've given them and the audience some actual sense of closure #rather than odo just refusing to let quark hear what he wanted. refusing to admit to him how much he means to him and then just leaving #like literally. after over 10 years of Whatever The Fuck They Had Going On #why not get out all that tension and frustration with one impulsive sloppy passionate kiss. and THEN never see each other again #like rene auberjonois really knew what was up when he decided to go in for that kiss #and armin shimerman Definitely knew what was up when he fucking moaned during it #like. they knew. they Get it. i honestly think it would've been fitting for them to keep it in #especially since quark still says ''that man loves me'' in the final take. and it's true ! he just desperately wanted odo to admit it #and they didn't give him that even after he practically begged for it. and after all he did for him during all those years #quark loves odo so much. genuinely. truly. and whether you personally view that love as platonic or romantic. he LOVES him #and odo even admitted to kira afterwards that he'd miss quark. THEN TELL HIM THAT TO HIS FACE !!!!!!!! #anyway lmao. they drive me fucking insane

[fluentisonus]

.

#I just feel so like. idk how to even describe my state of mind. #it's like I've gone from depressed in a dull helpless way to depressed in a hysterical way but sometimes for a #little bit I'm also normal. i feel like the most boring person in the world & also like I'm losing my mind. #i genuinely never thought i would actually really get to this point in my life ever. not in that i thought I'd die per se it was just never #real to me it never felt like something i could feasibly accomplish & now I'm there i feel like i just stepped off into the deep end of #some alternate universe world i shouldn't even exist in like i don't belong here. #like when i pictured my life as a kid reality just ended here & everything else was fantasy I realistically knew I never could do #& I'm Trying so hard to get myself a job so i can do smth with my life beyond sort of stewing in boredom & existential terror mixed but #i do not feel like a real person who could feasibly do that. like i just thought I'd disappear or something I don't know what I thought. #like someone would just close the picture book of my life because I'm not someone whose capable of living a normal life. #like I've failed the test (just like I always expected to!!!) but I'm still stuck here they forgot to take me out of the experiment. #<- sorry I'm okay mostly I'm just. really going through it w the transitional stage of life thing

[elizabethrobertajones]

why do I not let them hang out more often honestly

#I mean I know why #Lae'zel left about 5 minutes into Act 1 on my Dark Urge run #I knew I was going to replay so I kept going #so actually getting to hang out with her is really fun #I still haven't finished the Durge run I just got distracted by this Gale attempt #mad lad is absolutely speeding through things now I know what to do and how to play #we've rocked up in BG proper to do tourist stuff with Lae'zel that I've never seen #and it's a delight #(and I am happy to leave Karlach behind mostly because as the only tank she's held up her end marvellously for Durge) #(but it does mean she and Shadows are just ALWAYS in the party so I rarely see other interactions) #also realising Durge has missed so much and is over a level behind where I am now even though they've many more hours play #this game is so much easier when you do the content :P #bg3 #bg3 spoilers

[mueritos]

bestie you often reblog the 'when things are scary' cat are you okay? sending you hugs and some love

ah 😭 im in a much better place rn and definitely surrounded with support and not in the fucking su*c*dal trenches I was last semester, but ive just been thinking a bit this morning and hilariously a lot of the readings im doing for research have been helping me settle in some feelings. i have therapy later today and i would never dump my private life online. just working thru some resentment and realizing that in a lot of ways i'm seen as far too independent and level headed to be asked if i am okay. i'll feel much better after therapy tho, but i have to just sit in these feelings and remind my body im in the present. thanks for checking in tho 😭😭

#muertoresponds #i never want to be where i was last semester #but god is it still traumatizing #just tryna sit in my feelings #ive been misunderstood my entire life #that unfortunately even at my lowest and most suicidal ever people still thought i was....capable.... #when really i was so low because it felt like no one was trying...to reach out... #and i understand theres some responsibility on my end to communicate how bad i was doing but guys..... #i cant even explain how fucking obvious it was. everyone knew. and no one ever asked if i was okay #i am unfortunately the therapist friend who is always giving but can never ever receive the same support #im doing a lot better but man does it sure like. trigger me and make me feel resentful #im not alone its not october or november im not alone im not alone #it is february i have friends and i am not alone i am not alone #sigh

[muninnhuginn]

feeling so normal about li bing and qiu qingzhi btw

#their dynamic is fascinating no matter which medium you choose #but the cdrama's choice to deep dive on the 'old friend' deal and all that entails just hit my specific niche so hard #idk what it's like to experience the cdrama when you haven't got the donghua in the back of your head but as someone who did? #the irony was so much. despite the changes enough was kept intact that going in I knew two things for sure: #1) despite seeming antagonism they do both care for each other. 2) qqz was never getting out alive. #was sad to see the li bing|li bao stuff get dropped but the new backstory worked + explained the differing characterisation for lb rly well #white cat legend #white cat legend spoilers #<- for my own tags oops #no but like. the way that lb admitted he always thought he'd die young but maybe he could live on through qqz #and then in the end it's lb left alone with no choice to die even if he wanted to. whilst qqz would rather die than become a 'monster'. #and he meant it in a different way (addiction metaphor) but lb had his own worries that his demon state meant he was now a monster. #sth sth choices about living and dying and being a 'monster' and how lb had support but qqz was surrounded on all sides by wolves #he chose to be there because he had to be to survive. as a former slave he knew he had limited choices. but it's still so....