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legitimatesatanspawn · 5 months

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Sudden question popped in my head: "How old is Gran Torino?"

Dude looks like he's supposed to be 80 or 90 yet he's spry even for anime fighting heavy setting old people.

Note a lot of this is gonna be riddled with a few assumptions based on character design and general character tropes as related to demeanor. The rest is applying math to known or estimated ages.

Also some minor spoilers due to some flashback sequence images used for reference but nothing major.

Now since this is anime and across many many MANY different anime and manga the original artist or artist team tend to make character visual ages weird. I joke semi-often that kids look like teenagers, teenagers look like adults, young adults look like grizzled 40/50 year olds, and anyone past that look like they're in their 90s... unless you have a character who looks like a child. There's also even odds of the "child" being just that or actually being secretly immortal or 200+ years old.

So its possible that Torino's actually younger than he seems (shit ages you and we know he went through it). It'd also play in to his little prank/joke that he's a senile old man. I know people who look older than they really are due to one reason or another (usually stress) and I know some people in my mother's side of the family tend to look younger for whatever reason. (Some of us joke about having a portrait in the attic.)

But first: All Might is like what, 50? 60? We know he has an active career that's lasted long enough to make everyone else feel like he'll always be there. We also know he got OFA, attended U.A. (and presumably graduated), and then Toshinori got shipped off to America for his safety and to put a whole ocean between him and All Might. And since Gran Torino looked very tall at that time that means that we have a fully grown adult there (adding in to that "old people shrink in the wash" height joke thing).

All Might was dressed in a middle school uniform when he first met Nana so that means he would've been between 12 and 15 when Nana was shown talking about him to Sorahiko after Kid Toshi's dream and drive won her over. Now he's TALL but that doesn't mean anything since I remember a couple boys in 4th grade towering over our teachers so he could be a very gangly one. But to make the Izuku parallels more strong we can say that the first meeting he had with Nana was when he was around 14 or 15.

But the only thing we can really know is that Torino would have to be at least 20-ish to have a pro hero license. Dude has the attitude of someone who's been around the block a bit so let's add in another 5 years for experience as that would be long enough to know the field. That said the characters we know best from canon with similar attitudes are in their early 30s or late 30s.

So that'd make him 30-something to Kid Toshi's 14.

But there's another character I can use as a benchmark for his age: Nana's son Kotaro. 32 when he died, when Tenko (at the time) was around 5-6. Tomura is 20 by canon's start, where All Might would presumably be in his 50s. Now I always assumed Kotaro was around 5 when Nana gave him up for his safety as that is generally the age when things go start to shit for characters in the setting. It'd also give Kotaro stronger memories of Nana and better awareness of who she was (a hero) and why his kids wanting to be heroes like her set him off (not that he seemed to need a reason with his apparent temper).

So if Kotaro is 32 when Tenko was 5/6, the man would have been 47 by the time Tomura appeared in canon. All Might - assuming he's in his 50s - would've met Nana when Kotaro was... well, if All Might is 59 at the series start then Kotaro would've been 3, if All Might is 55 then 7, if he's 51 then 11.

You know what? All Might at 55 sounds fair. Kotaro being 7 at that time also means the loss would've been still fairly fresh, explain a lot about how the letter was phrased, and possibly be part of why Torino was a bit leery of Nana picking a kid. All this without it being too close to her unintentionally replacing her son with another around his age.

Series Start Ages: All Might, 55. Kotaro, 45/46. Tomura, 18/19. Izuku, 14-ish/15-ish.

1-A Start ages: All Might, 56/57. Kotaro, 47. Tomura, 20. Izuku, 16.

So assuming all this... Torino could be around 72 to 77 by the time All Might first meets Izuku.

... you can see how crazy I'm making myself trying to make sense of the timeline.

#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #character ages #headcanons #meta post #doing math to make sense of the timeline #once again #overthinking again #gran torino #torino sorahiko #shimura nana #shimura kotaro #shimura tenko #shigaraki tomura #yagi toshinori #all might #midoriya izuku

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obstinaterixatrix · 2 years

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2021 fic retrospective

yeah I'll reveal the paper mask. if you reference the relevant fics in any way other than a 500 word essay about how great they are I'll block you. 11 fics, technically... 53k? ish? but about half of that was through cowriting (lol)

2/6

“I can’t stay” and other lies to tell, ORV, 2.5k

Han Sooyoung adjusts to post-epilogue life.

this one gave me such a huge headache... but I really like it! fulfilled my goal of having ysa punch out hsy (romantically) which is the only thing that matters. I love writing hsy and ysa but they're both smart and well-read in exactly the way I'm not so It's A Struggle. I have to put so so much effort into having like... one of those hollywood western sets. flat storefronts propped up to mimic the impression of a whole-ass town. that's me trying to write these gals.

2/21

a home to keep (out of reach), Kamen Rider W, 1k

While on the run from the museum, Wakana runs into Akiko.

oh the femslash life of writing an obscure ship from obscure(-ish) source material that aired over ten years ago. this has less than 20 kudos and I'm surprised I even hit that high. if I remember right I was in a mood of 'I need to write more gals and don't have specific ideas, someone give me some' and thankfully my friends obliged. Love You Buds!

2/27

being known, being loved, and other disasters you’ll never recover from, ORV, 2.5k

“Use your words” was supposed to be a thoughtless taunt; Kim Dokja wasn’t expecting to get a monologue.

this one's great. 10/10. utter genius. well actually I wish someone else wrote it and could dig into all of the complex ideas I couldn't quite grasp and it's terrible and I hate it. so it goes with this kinda thing. regardless, it 100% would not have been as good as it was (or wasn't?) if racher didn't let me call her at my 2am and talk with me for like two hours as I wailed and wept through the 4th scene. thanks racher <3

3/18

two sides, same coin, SVS3, 2k

With this, Mobei Jun can finally rest reassured that their relationship is plagued by no lingering ambiguity.

At all.

None whatsoever.

technically I wrote this fic last year and thought it was finished, but was struck by a brief bout of inspiration (and/or madness)

5/12

going nowhere // gone nowhere, Infinity Train, 23k

Two versions of a reunion without the train.

Side A: Ryan gets a call from the Parks and rushes back to Min-Gi.

Side B: Min-Gi doesn't get a call from Ryan but rushes to him anyway.

lmaaaoooooo I love cowriting fic. I have nothing but fondness for this one. if this fic were a living creature I would dote endlessly upon it. what started as a direct and targeted attack against lex got turned around on me and suddenly We Were Both In It... Together. 10/10, fantastic cowriting experience, lex expanded on a lot that I would've glossed over and really nailed a lot of solid vibes. I had a lot of fun breaking ryan's leg. speaking of, also big thanks to kly for the med reference (lol)

6/6

actually, that was a load-bearing wall, Persona 5, 2.3k

Makoto: Ryuji, how did you get injured? Is there anything we can do? Yusuke: He did not. Makoto: …Wait, why is Yusuke with you at the hospital?

sundry wrote all this, I just edited & spruced it up by making the texting segment look ✨phenomenal✨ (and after it was a prompt for me to write too, lol).

7/28

dreams not to keep, Infinity Train, 2.5k

Min-Gi has a weird stress dream about working at Dumpty's, one that is definitely meaningless and has nothing to do with complicated feelings that don't exist.

If I'm being transparent I had this vaguely drafted without any real intention of finishing it, then saw a dead dove fic in the tag that I found personally rancid, so I finished it out of spite just to bump it down. anyway I love dream sequences and psychological torment. this is a concept that was inspired by air and that I also drew to specifically antagonize lex (lol)

9/20

a door closed to light, Deltarune, 1k

There’s no good reason for Susie, of all people, to be barging into Noelle’s room. And it makes no sense why she’s the one who ends up doing it; Kris is the childhood friend—which makes them the obvious choice for a stupidly sappy rescue—and Ralsei’s like… basically one of those baby blankets, the kind with a dumb fluffy stuffed animal attached. So shouldn’t he jump at the chance to make friends or be a goody-goody or whatever?

I was actually visiting a friend when deltarune chapter 2 dropped and carved out time to finish it. I always knew noelle and susie would have more Solid Vibes when the game progressed, and I was right! the vibes are solid! thank you toby fox for being the number one lesbian ally that exists. but also since I was rushing so much I ended up missing a great opportunity for a joke and had to rush to change the ending (rip).

10/8

the unnamed ember that burns in your chest, SVS3, 1.5k

Mobei Jun takes a nap on Shang Qinghua’s bed and pines to a truly intolerable degree.

do you understand how agonizing it was for me to have a paper mask account that I wouldn't let myself reference at all AND YET I kept coming up with titles that absolutely slapped. are you kidding me. this was so goddamn romantic. fuck.

10/22

the rays of the protagonist’s golden halo don’t shine on us lowly side characters, so how about easing up on the collateral damage (you bastard), SVS3, 2k

Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu have a fight after Mobei Jun gets injured while helping the protagonist (who, let’s be honest, would’ve been fine no matter what).

DO YOU UNDERSTAND. HOW AGONIZING IT WAS. FOR ME TO HAVE A PAPER MASK ACCOUNT I WOULDN'T LET MYSELF REFERENCE AT ALL. AND YET. I KEPT COMING UP WITH TITLES THAT ABSOLUTELY SLAPPED. I'm absolutely entranced by my own unrecognized genius. anyway this was fun I love writing petty squabbles and asshole friendships lol

12/30

as it turns out, dying isn’t the romantic gesture you might think it is, SVS3, 15k

Shang Qinghua wasn’t a protagonist. He was barely even a side character. The sum total of his dialogue never surpassed ten lines, which puts him just above cannon fodder. His death, sudden but not unexpected, was less than a paragraph in the epic of Luo Binghe:

The conspicuous absence of the man who could be considered Mobei Jun’s shadow was then explained to Luo Binghe. Just days ago, Shang Qinghua—whether by accident or a final act of loyalty—took a fatal blow meant for Mobei Jun. Scarcely did he have the time to draw a single breath before succumbing to poison potent enough to fell a great demon on the verge of becoming king.

In his previous life as a reader, Mobei Jun didn’t have any reason to pay him much attention.

Things are different now.

BLAH BLAH BLAH TITLES THAT ABSOLUTELY FUCKING SLAPPED YOU KNOW THE DRILL anyway this is literally the longest solo project I've written in years, usually you can't get me over 5k without my corpse being dragged by someone else. I'm a 2k oneshot kinda gal! I hate writing longform! it's so much work! so much effort! and yet! this fic drove me absolutely fucking bonkers and would not let me rest until it was exorcised. it has the most vibes per vibe out of all my fics. it's my magnum opus. and it's quarantined to paper mask account because if I ever acknowledge it, it becomes agonizingly obvious that nfsftlots was me going like 'haha so this is what I think a mo/shang roleswap would be. wait a second I could make them lesbians. wait a second I could make them lesbian ocs. wait a second I've written a novella.' anyway the last chapter of this fic was what I consider 8k of absolute madness. I'm spilling my guts here. I am relentlessly shaking your shoulder. can you even begin to understand what this story has done to me. I am narcissus at the pond absolutely enthralled by myself. this is the exact type of confession I love to read. you can make some pretty obvious parallels to how I'm acting now and a certain character in the fic and you'd be right to but you cannot mention this to my face.

#writing ramble #fic retrospective

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jinruihokankeikaku · 3 years

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End of Evangelion spoilers so like. don't look if you don't wanna see those

- the whole thing makes A LOT more sense upon second viewing. except for that last scene, which i think makes LESS sense this time around. idk. i'll probably have to watch it again after i finish the rebuild.

- that said, I feel like I understand Asuka's perspective in both the "dream sequence" and the final scene a bit better this time around.

- i watched with headphones and the brightness turned up and it's a completely different experience, much more jarring and anxiety-inducing and therefor just. better, especially during the first half, which is supposed to be the more painful, i think. i didn't notice the first time around but in stereo the sound design is fucking aces. just wonderful.

- i think i said before that it reminded me a LOT of an acid trip and i knoww that's a cop-out / hippie wastoid talk / facile / cheap etc. But i don't just mean that it's ~weird and trippy~ because. aside from a few specific shots i can think of the imagery isn't all that psychedelic. i mean to say, on a cognitive level it reminds me a lot of trains of thought i've ended up on while on various psychedelics - specifically the sandbox/swingset scene comes to mind. very familiar in a slightly disconcerting way, which creates a potent illusion of the barrage of images as somehow targeted at me, the viewer - which (i think) seems to be the intent.

- i love Rei and Kaoru's role in the film; they're maybe my two favorite characters altho one of the things i love about this franchise so far is that?? it's hard to even have favorites? everyone is so sympathetic that even when they're doing awful things to themselves and others and humanity as a whole, I can't help but feel. yeah. sympathy. i don't hate anyone in this show i want them all to be okay :/

- that said, Rei and Kaoru needed more character development, especially Rei. I've heard that this is somewhat better in the rebuild tho, so I hope that's the case.

- i watched the original English sub this time as opposed to the more recent Netflix translation; the one i watched today reads more naturally/smoothly to me but like, not by a huge margin. i was never confused as to what was being expressed with either translation so that's cool ::::) honestly there are only a few spots where i noticed a difference. i like the original subtitle font MUCH better tho i'm always partial to humanist-ish fonts.

- this is another observation that's probably been made too many times but . watching EoE after watching NGE over the course of ~3 days felt a lot like watching Fire Walk With Me right after finishing Twin Peaks. There's a marked tonal contrast; even tho EoE is in a two-act structure so as to vaguely mimic two episodes of a show, it's stylistically pretty far removed from the serial format, which in turn makes the atmosphere & sensory-emotional ambience very different. The show felt like a kind of slow-burn of dread building up over the course of the roughly ~7 hours, which made the show's ending (the "Take care of yourself." one) feel like more of a relief, whereas the movie's atmosphere-cum-pacing was so breathless and explosive that the ending felt more like. passing out mid-stride than like gradually falling asleep, yknow?

- I'm surprised I'm not angrier or at least more frustrated? I knew it was controversial going in and i normally have trouble connecting to works that I'm philosophically at odds with cos. they tend to make me feel like i'm in an argument where i can't get a word in edgewise. But especially after the second viewing, I can't say I have any quarrels with the "message", insofar as there is one? (I mean, there's definitely a moral, but I'm inclined to thing that it's more of a psycho-aesthetic one than a normative one. Again, reminds me a bit of Twin Peaks, especially FWWM and The Return.)

- I don't get the position I've seen in a couple of threads and reviews where people call it "preachy" or assert that the conclusion feels like self-help/self-improvement-type-stuff. Sure, there are a lot arguably sanctimonious uh. directives? maxims? moral exhortations? presented to the viewer preddy bluntly but I think reading all of those at face value as a) the views of the author and/or b) the main theses promulgated by the show is uh misguided. The anti-escapist pro-social messaging is THERE, sure, but I don't believe it's the point of it all.

might add more later but these are my initial thoughts.

(@woeworld im taggin you in this cos i think i reme8er you sayin i should letya know when i get to the End)

#nge spoilers #end of evangelion spoilers #eoe spoilers #aes

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bronanlynch · 3 years

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bi-ish weekly update

time sure passes huh. meant to do one last week but I wrote like 5000 words on Wednesday instead, and I’m not really sure what happened yesterday but maybe Thursday is my new day for these

listening: two for the price of one this week since I’m excited about both of them. first of all, obviously, is the Sangfielle theme by Jack de Quidt because it’s time for a new season of Friends at the Table. I love their description of this season’s music

the other thing I’ve been listening to is the new album from one of my fave bands, You’re Welcome from A Day to Remember. this is by far not the most musically interesting or complex song on the album but it is about, as far as I can tell, a bad breakup with a vampire and I love it for that just on principle, but also it’s fun! a fun pop punk-esque bop about breaking up with a vampire!

youtube

reading: since last time when I talked about many romance novels I was reading, I mostly just read more romance novels because sometimes that is all the brain can handle. shout out to KJ Charles for writing a historical romance with a nonbinary main characters, you really do love to see it. I appreciate that she puts trans characters in her books, and I hope that someday she writes one with a trans man as a main character, because that truly would be a book targeted directly at me.

I’ve also been reading the Kate Kane, Paranormal Investigator series by Alexis Hall (author of Affair of the Mysterious Letter, a weird fantasy queer Sherlock Holmes retelling that absolutely fucking slaps, highly recommend).

this is his author bio from the Kate Kane books, which really just sets the tone and also. what a fucking life goal

anyway. series starts with Iron & Velvet which is currently on sale, which is why I bought it, and it also fucking slaps. I’m like halfway through the last book right now but they have all been good and fun. Kate is like. archetypal disaster p.i. but done in an interesting way (i.e. the narrative actually addresses the depression and the alcoholism in a way that I personally really appreciated), and also pretty much every woman in the ~supernatural community she encounters is an ex or someone she will flirt/hook up with at some point, which is an accurate representation of every irl queer space I’ve ever been part of. she dates a vampire for a while. hot morally questionable vampire lady. the vampire power structure names positions after tarot cards it’s very fun and sexy and tailored specifically toward my interests. also she lives in the same part of London as my ex-girlfriend so it’s. fun to recognize place names and be like. oh I went there on a date once huh

watching: started watching Turn A Gundam because a twitter friend recommended it as being fun and also very different then any other Gundam series and they were right on both counts. the premise of it is ‘what if a bunch of people went to live on the moon and some people stayed on earth, the moon people got real into super advanced technology and the earth people are larping the 19th century, and now the moon people want to come back’ so there’s a fun mix of visual styles. would love to see serious analytical writing on this show by someone more versed in discussing indigeneity/colonialism than me though because there are things that I’m a little bit hmmm at but I don’t know enough to be able to explain why or know if that’s the right response to have

don’t know what’s up with the dude on the left’s sunglasses but my friend has promised me the fashion choices only get weirder

I know about the ‘wow cool robots’ meme but some of the mech designs are very cool and visually distinct both from each other and from the standard blocky humanoid shape that lots of mechs are, so that’s fun to see. and they’re all different sizes too, which for me at least makes it easier to get a sense of the scale of the conflict/threat. when they’re all the same size it’s easy for me to forget they’re like 40 feet tall but when some of them are 40 feet and some of them are like 10 feet it’s a lot easier to be like. oh. oh shit. these are big and destructive and scary as hell

there are mini versions of this big mech that are like. the size of one of its feet

also there’s some fun stuff about how the way society relates to a mech and what a mech is used for can change over time, which is part of what is maybe inspiring me to get back into trying to write games, because between Turn A and the fic I was writing about Integrity Friendsatthetable I was like. hey what if a hack of The Ground Itself by Everest Pipkin, a game about a place changing over time, except instead of a place it’s a mech

playing: finished Knife of Dunwall finally! please clap! I was kinda half-expecting not to keep to low chaos in the last mission because there are so many overseers but I did it! I did do a bunch of accidentally getting into fights, killing a bunch of people, and then reloading an earlier save so I could go back and not kill those people but it’s fine. anyway. fun game, fun level once I got the hang of it, and I do feel like I accomplished something a lil bit difficult so that’s a nice feeling. definitely harder than the main game. also, very sad about Billie and gay for Delilah. she shows up just to threaten you and then disappears again, and I think that’s pretty hot of her. also love the narrative parallels of having the choice to spare Billie and then the game ending with Corvo about to decide whether to spare Daud or not. I just think that’s neat

making: made some Thai green curry last week from this recipe, which was tasty and not too hard to make, but has just enough specialty ingredients to make it a lil bit too expensive to make too often. our grocery store only ever has lemongrass when we’re looking for things that look kinda like lemongrass but aren’t, and didn’t have any when we need it so we just used extra lemongrass paste and lime juice for the lemongrass, and for the kaffir lime leaves, which we were also supposed to substitute with lemongrass but. it’s fine it was still tasty

writing: a lot somehow, although it’s been over two weeks since last time I did one of these so I guess that makes sense. I wrote a couple of things for 15 Days of Friends at the Table, including Broun, Milli, and Thisbe cottagecore roommates, Clem and Gucci bickering/flirting, and an extended dream sequence that makes me very sad about Integrity (I’m very proud of the last one, I know it has a very small target audience because Sokrates/Integrity is very much a rarepair in an already small fandom, there are 6 works in the tag, 4 of them are by me, 2 of them are by the same other person, and one of those is a gift for me so. it’s mostly just me, but I think I wrote something pretty good)

also meant to write more for Persona 5 Girls Week, although so far I’ve only written one thing, a quick fluff fic which for once requires very little knowledge of the source material. meant to write something for today’s prompt but instead I had two job interviews and then cooked dinner for my household so that probably will not happen and I will probably watch more Gundam instead

#dreaming.txt #tuesday no problem extended universe #contains pictures of food below the readmore

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itsclownhours · 4 years

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that dream sequence (is that the correct term for a bunch of dreams?) last night was fucking insane i mean dream 1 was basically me saying "oh i haven't seen steven universe [true] how about i just read this conveniently-placed book version of it [i don't think that that's a thing] along with this line of other books [that don't actually exist]" (one of which my subconscious brain convinced me that i had read at school) and i can't remember the details but a kid got pulled into the principal's office and turned into a fucking GIRAFFE and then—then; there's more—the principal turned into a TREE with a FACE and it was hilarious because it was cartoony and it was like an asdf movie transition sequence too it was like *pop* *giraffe* and *pop* *tree* and it was beautiful

anyway DREAM 2 involved my dad dropping me off at some school that i've never been to in real life and it had an elevator and someone was chasing me for some reason and i ran into the elevator and the guy chasing me was trying to hold the doors open with his fucking hands and i punched him or something and i don't remember what happened next but then i was in some place with a bunch of books and there were like four sequels to the matched trilogy but they all had covers that were the same shade of green as the first one and the fourth and fifth were numbered properly i don't think that i located the sixth but then numero seven was labeled "volume g" or something

dream 3 (yes, there's more) was really short and essentially just me being in a state of confusion because there was like a tumblr post (is it a sign that i'm on tumblr too much if my subconscious brain can perfectly recreate the Tumblr Post Font™?) with a list of political rightists that you should look out for and shouldn't affiliate with and on the list was a person that i'm gay for and that dream-me thought was left and i can't really say anything about that because i know literally nothing about the person other than their name and the fact that they're *low, menacing voice* Pretty™

*normal voice* DREAM FUCKING 4 included my social studies teacher for some crazy reason and my grade and our small child buddies were doing a weird thing to simulate a car crash (i suppose that it was like road safety or something) and there were people carrying a bunch of ceramic (? i think? they weren't glass but in real life i know for a fact that ceramic is very fragile) plates or trays or something and I fell in the courtyard of my school and for some reason i took a while to get up and it was raining which was weird because in real life we would just go under the overhang not across the entire fucking courtyard and it was also weird because i had the same buddy as i do in real life but the person i shared them with was different (the little kids have a lot less students than my grade does) and i said something about "i can't brain today [which is an accurate statement every day]" and the dream ended there

dream 5 wasn't really a dream it was more of a fragment (like one scene) it was one of the democratic candidates (i can't remember exactly who; they kinda looked like sanders but they didn't really sound like him) saying that if they're elected then the first thing that they'll do is make robert downey jr president

and that was it that was chaos all that in the six-ish hours of sleep that i got

#wow that was crazy #that was probably the lingest post that i've ever made #that was longer than everything i've written combined heheheheh help me #my brain is a fucking mess #there's a bunch of random tags popping up in the recommended tag whatever thing #and i'm just like 'none of these are relevant to this post'#as a matter of fact i don't think that anything is relevant to this post #why won't tumblr let me use quotations in the tags that's mean

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zdbztumble · 5 years

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“Reverse/Rebirth” revisited

I’ve mentioned a few times now that, in this look back at the Kingdom Hearts series, I’ve finally come to like Riku as a character. That’s in part due to seeing everything in context again several years after my last play-through, but another thing that helped put things into perspective was a LP by YouTube’s Frustrated Jacob. He worded Riku’s story in a way I could finally grasp: that Riku sees himself, and is treated, as mature and trustworthy, but ultimately proves himself to be selfish, insecure, and childish, while Sora is a more childlike underdog who ultimately proves to be mature, responsible, and heroic. Riku does, of course, redeem himself after realizing to what end he’s being used for, and with the context straight in my head, I could finally appreciate that story on an emotional level, instead of conceding its technical merits but remaining cold to Riku himself.

Given all that, I was curious to see if my opinion on Reverse/Rebirth would change after playing though it again. As it turns out, it did change - for the worse.

My issues with the gameplay remain. I just couldn’t enjoy the card-based battle system without having the option to customize. Besides taking a lot of the fun away, it made troubleshooting against challenging bosses (which, I’ll admit, there aren’t many) more hassle than it needed to be. Riku’s lack of magic or summon abilities is another thing that just makes for a less fun game. The limited number of sleights available in Dark Mode gave some little bit of variety, but I so rarely needed to use Dark Mode that it wasn’t worth dragging out battles to build up the meter.

Riku does pack a lot of power in his attacks - that was the reason I hardly ever needed Dark Mode. This makes much of the game a cakewalk, even compared to the later stages of CoM proper, but the difficulty spike in the boss battles with Zexion and Ansem are ridiculous. The decks you get against them are pathetic, and their abilities are overwhelming. Having a real challenge was a nice change of pace at first, but the disparity is too great.

And I still can’t get over the way this game’s “worlds” are structured. My memory of this game was that Riku got all the same world cards as Sora, in reverse order (except for the last three floors), which would at least make some sense, tying into the “reverse” of the title. But they aren’t strictly in reverse order; some of the Disney worlds aren’t even in the same set. And Riku wasn’t in most of those worlds. There shouldn’t be any memory cards of those places for him. The game does acknowledge this, in a sense, by leaving out any Disney characters from these worlds. But that’s another problem with R/R: nothing happens for most of it. If the Disney worlds in CoM didn’t tie in to the larger story except in a thematic sense, they at least had self-contained plots that gave you something to follow. Riku just wanders through rooms here, to no aim.

Like with CoM, there was a missed opportunity to give the Disney worlds more connection to the plot. Riku was in Monstro, Neverland, and Hollow Bastion, after all, and spent most of KH I in Maleficent’s thrall. Having him deal with the memories of that - of his actions, of his alliance with a confederation of Disney villains - would have provided story material and illustrated his dilemma more effectively than cutscene after cutscene with blather about the darkness (and yes, I know this series is notorious for this - but even by KH standards, the word “darkness” is abused to all hell in this game. I’m not sure how they could have avoided that, given what Riku’s story is here, but it was still excessive). At the very least, Maleficent should have been a recurring character in Riku’s memories. Wasting her as the start-up boss is still an unfathomable decision to me.

Really, the lack of content is enough to make one wonder if this story warranted its own title. To call it the “B side” to Sora’s story in CoM suggests more than it can provide. If it had been cut down to just those three Disney worlds Riku actually visited, with more story content for them and cleaner writing for the larger story, the ten hours the game took (compared to just under 40 for CoM proper) might have felt worth it, instead of rushed and empty. But at that length, I would’ve just presented it as a bonus mini-game to be unlocked after a certain level of completion, not as a B-story you get to play no matter what.

As with CoM, I have to take issue with the villains here. I’m convinced now that his battle in this game is the only reason anyone remembered Zexion well enough to justify giving him a backstory, because there’s nothing else to his character, or to Lexeaus. I may not have liked the villains of CoM, but I can concede that Axel, Vexen, and Larxene are memorable (and no, I didn’t forget Marluxia - he’s off the memorable list for a reason XP). These two are devoid of even one major identifiable personality trait (and I would note that Zexion’s backstory hasn’t solved this problem). I suppose Zexion staging an elaborate illusion of Sora to torment Riku rather than killing him outright might qualify as sadism - if it were played as such, and if Larxene hadn’t claimed that territory, so that whole sequence doesn’t have a lot of foundation. Though I will concede that, prior to the realizing it made no sense, I found the impersonation of Sora an effective story beat that fed well into Riku’s fears.

Of course, the ultimate antagonist in R/R isn’t anyone from the Organization, but the darkness still within Riku, and the trace that “Ansem” left on him. Whether this Ansem is meant to be the real deal, or some residual trace or memory, I was never quite clear, but in any event, the solution to the conflict turns out to be that Riku chooses neither to reject the darkness nor succumb to it, but to straddle the line between light and dark, a trait unique to himself in this series. That’s been criticized as an idea, but I don’t object to it in principle, the same way I don’t reject efforts to move Star Wars beyond a black-and-white conception of the Force. But in execution, there’s a lot wrong with it.

1. With hindsight, we can see that it was never really followed up on. Darkness = evil in the first KH game, and that’s been true for the games that have followed R/R. For this idea to really work, it would’ve needed follow-up that it never got.

2. That this idea comes to Riku from Namine of all people feels extremely abrupt. Granted, if I were writing a story about someone learning that light and dark sides to their soul could co-exist extrapolated into a fantasy setting, I would want the revelation to feel abrupt at first glance, with hindsight showing seeding throughout the story. That seeding isn’t here, and Namine is an awkward choice to deliver the message to Riku given that they have no connection prior to this point in the story.

3. Namine’s line about how “no power can defeat [Riku]” makes no sense to me. He’s defeated throughout these games by light and dark powers. A lot of the wording of the dialogue on this plot point just seems designed to try and make Riku seem more special and marked by destiny. Of course, this ignores the element of the first game where Riku appearing to be the person suited to a great destiny was part of the problem.

4. On that note - as has been pointed out to me by @themattress, Riku declaring himself unafraid and accepting of the darkness, and using it to ends he found right, was what led him down the path to possession in the first game. Now, I do think there’s reason to doubt his bravado in that scene in KH I; his pretense at maturity and confidence both fall pretty quickly when his jealousy and paranoia of Sora set in. But it is true that Riku accepts, embraces, and abuses the darkness in KH I, and what fears he does have aren’t tied to that. I still wouldn’t say I object to R/R trying to twist that idea around in principle, but just as it needed more follow-up to work properly, it needed more set-up than this game provided to work properly.

In a way, though, the biggest fault with this plot point is that it doesn’t really impact Riku’s behavior all that much. I’ve seen some critiques that praise Riku’s development in this game over Sora’s, and I can’t say I understand that. You can like Sora’s story in CoM or not, but he experiences a lot and undergoes dramatic changes over the course of that story. Riku here is pretty static. While I’m now fully on-board with his arc in KH I, I’m afraid I still find him rather bland here.

To be honest, the best bit of story content in R/R IMO isn’t even concerned with Riku; it’s a cutscene that expands on Sora’s story. It’s the scene I wanted in that story, where Namine calls herself “the shadow of Kairi” and explains how her messing with Sora’s memories of Kairi can’t truly erase them. When the best story beat in the B-story is an expansion on the A-plot, you know you have trouble.

And then there are the things about R/R that are just weird - turning Riku and Zexion into bloodhounds comes to mind. Has that whole “scent” business ever really come up sense?

So, that’s where I stand with R/R now: it’s unimpressive fare and wasted potential. Playing through it again has actually forced me to give some new credit to Dream Drop Distance. I still consider that game a worse story, and more damaging to the series overall, but there are two points I must concede to it:

1. It handled two player characters much better than CoM and R/R did. Whether they were any good or not, the game gave Sora and Riku each stories to follow in the Disney worlds, enough content to fill out a full game, and tied them together in such a way that one didn’t feel like the superfluous B-side to the other.

2. I thought DDD was where the retconning of Sora and Riku’s friendship began, but it was here in R/R, with Riku describing Sora as someone who “always did as he pleased” and setting up the idea of he, Riku, being the responsible one. Granted, he’s being rather jokey when he says this, but accusing Sora of being the lazy one while he does all the work just rubs me the wrong way. When I thought that DDD was the one to introduce this change, I could at least credit it that such a retcon helped explain their dynamic in that game. But now I just can’t understand why they went down this road. Everyone who played the first game spent the first few levels on Destiny Islands, working on the raft as Sora. And Riku complaining about anyone else “doing as they please” at this point in the series, when we’re only one game removed from him plotting to run away and never come home (embracing the power of darkness to do so) while Sora took on the responsibility of being the Keyblade Master without protest is really pushing it.

Well, that’s that. No need to revisit that game for a long time. Now, on to KH II - the one I’m most interested in replaying. Will it hold up as well as KH I did? Only time will tell...

#z's crits #kingdom hearts #reverse/rebirth #Riku #critique #commentary

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sadboywithbigsword-blog · 5 years

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Volume 4: Part 2

It’s been a while, but I finally got to sit down and write more about Berserk, specifically the second half of Volume 4. My posts are probably going to be more frequent now, so here goes nothing.

The material in volume 4 is probably one of the most common entry points for Western fans of Berserk. It’s the start of the Golden Age arc that most people are familiar with, throwing you for a loop that this is not like any other piece of Japanese media that you’ve read because it decidedly feels so European. The beginning of the Golden Age arc really reminds me of those Howard Pyle picture books that I grew up loving, like Men of Iron, showing the gritty and grueling practice of medieval combat, and also the elements of a revenge narrative that Berserk is just literally dripping with. It’s also patently obvious that many of Mirua’s influences are decidedly Western and medieval as well.

Guts’ challenge of and killing Bazuso is reminiscent of that swashbuckling, high-adventure vibe that’s so reminiscent of medieval depictions in the twentieth century that it’s not hard to see.

But I was reading the second half of Volume 4, something really stuck out for me. When Guts first confronts Griffith, I was surprised that he even made a passing comment on Griffith’s sexuality. “What are you some kind of homo?” when Griffith says “I want you, Guts,” and he’s really saying that he wants Guts to be his solider, but Guts can only hear the sexual nature of the phrase. Then, we have this moment that really shocked me.

But maybe I shouldn’t have been so shocked that Guts uses the word “faggot.” Maybe it’s a translation error, maybe it isn’t. But I never heard him use the word in the dubs of its adaptations at all.

This scene where Guts and Griffith first meet and the following scene, where Griffith duels Guts and forcibly makes him a member of the Band of the Hawk have been recreated multiple times in adaptations, and this sexual innuendo is always left out or de-emphasized.

On one level, I shouldn’t be surprised that Guts would use the word “fag.” And given the sequence before, the dream sequence that Guts has about Gambino, Donovan, and his past sexual trauma and violation by Donovan and Gambino, it makes sense. Guts is a victim of abuse whose past is completely broken. The only thing that does make sense to him is fighting with his sword.

But of course, as the panel above depicts, Guts can’t solve his problems with his sword alone. In his dream sequence after his first fight with Griffith, Guts is running away from a monstrous Donovan, trying to fight him with his sword. He is a boy again, and about to be taken advantage of. So I guess the homophobia is understandable, given that he’s had to be incredibly callous and have all pretense of emotional intimacy stripped away from him violently at a young age, with all of the authority figures in his life betraying him.

What’s weird though is that the comments that Guts makes about Griffith’s sexuality get in the way of the intimacy that Griffith speaks of Guts’ style of fighting, that he never gives up, and would rather be putting himself in danger by fighting rather than living another day. And really, this seems to be what offends Guts more, but I can’t shake the fact that while it does make sense, the bigger story for Guts is that he doesn’t want anyone to control his life. He already has had to endure being hurt by people that were supposed to care and look out for him, and Gambino, the man who was supposed to be his surrogate father, sold him into sexual slavery. So it makes sense that Guts doesn’t want to be controlled by anyone, much less anyone who would threaten to use him sexually. That intimacy that Griffith shows to Guts, that charisma is strange and threatening to Guts. He isn’t interested in what people are going to tell him, he knows he’s good, But he’s also incredibly threatened that he’s being read like a book. And it’s that kind of intimacy that’s truly threatening to Guts. He doesn’t want anyone to have control of him.

But what’s surprising is Guts’ acceptance of Griffith’s fondness for him. Even after he’s beaten by Griffith, he’s worried that he won’t be able to best him again in combat. He keeps reliving the fight in his head, wondering what exactly went wrong. He simply can’t let it go, because Griffith has upended how he sees the world. He has never been wanted by anyone for his entire life, except to be used, and here is someone who sees him for what he is: a reckless warrior, and that terrifies him. It’s an interesting way to see these power dynamics in play, and encapsulates the two central questions that Berserk revolves around: What does it feel like to be powerful? And what does it feel like to be powerless?

I still don’t know how this colors the dynamic that I see between the two. Sure it makes the subtext text, but honestly, that subtext is best left where it is, and I really think that the 1997 anime had it right when they didn’t even allude to any sexual tension between the two, because it was already subtextually there. Guts and Griffith are about as two halves of a whole like Kirk and Spock and other homosocial character pairings (not even ships, mind you, but just simple character pairings) create this intimacy between them that’s just dripping with a kind of tension that’s not entirely explicit but is really there between the lines.

Next time: Zodd the Immortal, fatalism, and more homosocial-ish stuff.

#berserk #guts #sexuality #queerness #queer #griffith

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adhdusagi · 5 years

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Princess Tutu episodes 14-end

I watched the entire second half of the series in one day because I make good life choices

Previously on Princess Tutu Watch:

Okay I can get back to Tokyo Mew Mew now

+++++++++++++++++++

It was a lie, I could NOT

EPISODE, UH, FUCK……… 14! - The Raven

asdklsdhflhdl (google docs stop capitalizing my keysmashes) they’re bringing back “once upon a time there was a man who died”!!!!!! Honestly that might be one of my favorite lines in this whole show

Gotta love the sarcasm in “and they lived happily ever after”

The theme song…… it’s so good

Oh nooooooooooooooo

This scene is literally just the “I’ve got a headache that comes and goes” meme

Fakir you complete dork. You’re all dorks

“Princess Tutu and a crocodile are totally different” you tell ‘im, Mytho

Duck speaks so much more regularly than the other main characters? I mean, there’s Fakir over there like “Shall we go?” and Duck saying things like “I’m gonna be late!” and using “like” and “stuff”... I mean, I know this is the dub, but

Duck why are you using Fakir’s dumb excuses omg

Lilie is just the personification of my negative thoughts

BUT WHAT DID MYTHO TELL FAKIR

Awwwwwwww Duck, no

They’re in a terrifying Raven Dimension with like, ominous music and people wailing in the background and meanwhile Kraehe and the Raven are just having like, a normal conversation

Also, are the white feathers supposed to be like, what’s trapping the Raven there?

Duck please

Wait, Princess Tutu transformed on her own!

Episode 15 - Coppelia

Also, watching Fakir try and fail to stop Mytho from jumping out the window is Pain

Lilie you are a Strange Child

STEALTH DUCK RETURNS!

Oh no?? Fakir doesn’t want to get Mytho in trouble???

alsdfksfh the entire student population is Here For The Drama

Duck don’t yell in the library

Fakir just doesn’t make good decisions

Oooh that doesn’t look good

Sad Kraehe Theme Alert

You “just happened” to do a lot of things, Lilie

Omg Lilie “Want to just happen to go see?”

Rue just shows up to trash talk Fakir for a minute and then leaves

I say as if I’m not in So Much Pain

Yeah! Every single time Princess Tutu transformed in the first season, it was because Drosselmeyer said something, but now she’s transforming on her own!

Oh no Mytho

Also I like how Tutu doesn’t just flat-out say “you don’t actually love him” and instead is just like “how about you try doing things you enjoy with the guy you like instead of giving him Your Actual Heart”

Episode 16 - The Maiden’s Prayer

Wait is Angry Narrator back or did the other narrator just regain the heart shard of Withering Scorn?

Lilie isn’t even interested in the love triangle, she just wants Duck and Pike to fight

Is that Goatette

“So pretty…. What? Oh yeah I meant the flowers of course haha” Duck

Such a serious child

“Love only me, hate everyone else”/“The prince who loves me and me alone”

This child is amazing

It was such a good decision to give Fakir a little sister. A good decision for everyone involved

aslfsdjhklgdlghdjghfdklkdkalh Kraehe told him that Duck would suffer if she knew what was happening with Mytho so Fakir isn’t going to tell herrrrrrrrrr Fakir please don’t internalize that!! You are breaking my heart sir

Oh my god it wasn’t Goatette it was the sloth

*The Can Can plays loudly over a sloth just kinda hangin out*

Episode 17 - Crime and Punishment

This may or may not have been the last episode I watched the first time I watched this show?

“Eyes of truth” huh?

This dumbass child

Femio, from the other side of the school grounds: “DID SOMEBODY SAY ‘PRINCE’????”

What the Fuck are you doing with your hands, kid

Why are you a cow

Honestly as over-the-top as Femio is he is also simultaneously the most realistic middle-schooler in this entire show

Oh my god he’s on probation

I’m sorry I’m just talking about Femio but he’s hilarious

Truly a Grade A Idiot

What is he even doing with his life

I’ve become Lilie

These characters have emotional crises over people saying the stupidest things and tbh I relate to that

Oh dear!

The thing is, Femio would be really annoying in real life, but in a tv show he’s just amusing

Rue’s FACE, she’s so done

I like how Duck can tell which building Rue’s in just by the amount of crows around it

Tbh all the students probably have noticed what’s going on, they just think it’s some kind of weird performance art thing. Wouldn’t be out of character for this school

Fakir and Uzura really are siblings, I love this

The best part about this episode is it’s this completely ridiculous person unintentionally getting in the middle of everybody’s emotional issues

“I feel kinda like something happened, and kinda like it didn’t” Duck you are absolutely correct

And of course the Aquarium is good once again

Episode 18 - The Wandering Knight

Incidentally, how old are these kiddos? We know Mytho is older than Duck, so Fakir and Rue probably are too?? But like, probably only by a year? Who even knows what their actual ages are

I mean, Duck is a duck so

It’s! The trees from the opening!

I don’t know if I’ve asked this before, but why does Fakir have a horse?

Oh my god Lilie

Can everybody STOP picking on Fakir for being afraid to die? He is 14, leave him alone

Ahiru is trying so hard to be helpful, give her a chance Fakir

Once again Rue shows up to get in a burn on Fakir and then leave

I swear every time the Aquarium plays in this show

Oh noooooooo Ruuuuueeeeeeee

Literally Protect All Of These Characters

Save These Children From Their Own Emotional Issues

FAKIR PLEASE

Pride is absolutely the worst feeling Mytho could get back right now?

“There’s something sinister going on that I’m not a part of!” And that really gets to you doesn’t it Dross. I bet it’s really… grinding your gears!!!

(why do I feel so proud of insulting a fictional character)

Episode 19 - A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Wow we really are starting this one off on a sinister note (it’s Drosselmeyer’s revenge on me for that pun)

Of course he can’t tell you, he doesn’t fuckin know what’s going on

Fakir please stop basing your entire identity around being a knight

Oh no, Mytho’s regained the heart shard of Basing Your Entire Identity Around Upholding A Role

I wonder if Hermia being tall is like, a meta Shakespeare joke, cause in the play Helena’s really tall and Hermia’s really short, but in every production I’ve seen it was the other way around

Rue stop projecting your insecurities onto your boyfriend

Ohhhhhhhh dear

Finally someone tells all the crows hanging around to shut up

Oh my god she really is super tall

Or Ahiru’s just super short

I am learning so much about ballet mimes

Cool bird shadows

Whoa, different raven background. And the Raven isn’t speaking with him this time? What does it mean

On no, Tutu

Hahaha oh no

Aaahaha they’re the same

THEY EVEN DO THE SAME ARM-FLAILY THING

Episode 20 - The Forgotten Story

ALRIGHT, TIME FOR THE FAKIR’S SAD BACKSTORY EPISODE

Raetzel: *walks in*

Uzura: And where do you fit in the shipping chart, ma’am

THIS is a High Quality Directatorial Decision

Oh no Duck. oh no she’s so earnest nooooo

It is just Extremely Wrong to see Mytho dancing to something besides Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy

Mr. Cat can hear the word “wedding” from three floors up

Oh my GOD they put broken heart stickers on the window

I mean, I say they but we all know it was Lilie

Again, Duck knows exactly where shit’s going down just because that’s where all the crows are

Oh no!

Everybody needs to stop giving Fakir shit Right Now. Everybody needs to stop thinking it’s a bad thing that Fakir didn’t fucking Die, and that includes Fakir OKAY????

I’ve been thinking… Raven Mytho keeps saying things like “people only want love because they want to be loved” and I wonder… if that was sort of his experience as a prince. Or maybe I’m just getting this mixed up with Utena lol. But it does seem like a genuine issue he has as opposed to just something he says to manipulate people. Hm.

Episode 21 - The Spinners

Every time the narrator says “once upon a time there was a man who died” I Will Flip

Duck tries to lean nonchalantly against a door, it goes about how you’d expect

Duck that’s not how writing works (ughgfjdghskjkgf my pain)

AW NO

Oh no Duck is too relatable

UUAAAAAA TREE GHOST TREE GHOST

“Follow my every order and be prepared to die if you should fail” it’s almost like you WANT me to hate you. FAKIR DOESN’T NEED THIS

See Duck agrees with me

PETITION FOR PEOPLE TO LEAVE FAKIR THE FUCK ALONE THAT MEANS YOU TREE GHOST

Ohshit it’s that old guy from the bookshop???

Uzura is NOT “unrelated”, obviously she is Fakir’s baby sister

“I’m just watching again” oh no Duck

Autor what the Fresh Heck are you doing to Fakir

YOU ARE NOT FINE?????????

Honestly Fakir needs to get in touch with his emotions, not get sleep deprived and hallucinate in a field

This tree is saying things Edel said??? Was Edel made from the wood of this tree?????? Oh my god???????????

Anyway that was Intense

Listen, Raven Mytho has real issues and you can fight me on this

Ah, I see Dross is practicing the time-honored authorial tradition of “If the Story Isn’t Working, Hit It With a Wrench”

Episode 22 - Crown of Stone

But who’s going to protect Fakir huh? Answer me that, Duck

One big-ish happy familyyyyyyyyy

I needed this life advice tbh

Aaaaaah Uzura’s talking to Rue!

“Are you the Rue we’re worried about?” I love how she just included herself in that

Autor, I’m……. not sure you want the tree ghost cult to acknowledge you

Uhm, I’m pretty sure Autor doesn’t fit into the shipping chart and I think Uzura would agree with me

Ah fuck!!! Fakir turn around

Wait it’s an owl on a grandfather clock?? Is that actually a thing? These watchnotes are coming full circle

“I want people to love me, but is it okay to just be loved?” yep, the prince is having issues

Autor, I’m pretty sure Ahiru is figuring all that out right now

And like, the Book Men totally know it too, so

HOLY CRAP THIS SEQUENCE

AND THE MUSIC THE MUSIC IS PERFECT

SKLAFDJKVHFJK;JKLSdf;DSLKJFAKSDAKFJHFKLJJFGKLHGJFHSDLJ

I love this show

EPISODE 23 - Marionette

OH! OH! IT’S THE MUSIC EDEL ALWAYS PLAYED BUT SPED UP! That’s actually kinda creepy!

Anyway now I know why I’m so protective of Fakir, we’re both writers who can’t write anything

Oh noooooooooooo Rue

Oooooooooooh don’t like that

Ruuueeeeeeeeee please don’t stab your boyfriend we’ve been over this

Incidentally, hulu needs to quit it with these bogus commercial placements

Drosselmeyer: How dare you try to resolve your emotional problems!

Dross that’s called character development

Hahahaha joke’s on you Dross!

aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I! LOVE! THEM!

No of course your heart is lovey-dovey Uzura! Your heart is the lovey-dovey-est!!!

Incidentally, Autor is That Guy who says just because you haven’t finished/published anything you’re not a Real Writer. And he is Wrong

Episode 24 - The Prince and the Raven

Okay, just from this title I know I won’t be able to handle this

THIS ISN’T EVEN THE PENULTIMATE EPISODE

YOU ARE HITTING ME WITH ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A MAN WHO DIED RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE I CANNOT BELIEVE

Okay but and then this story explains all of Raven Mytho’s emotional issues as well???

*sigh* Autor……. Fakir literally just told you his motivation is to protect people and you’re still going on about controlling the fates of all mankind… are you sure you’re not Drosselmeyer’s direct descendent?

Rue don’t go into the crow building

Honestly I’m still dying over the fact that you can tell where things are happening purely based on which building all the crows are at today

Tiny Rue is breaking my heart

UUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TINY RUE IS DOING BALLET

Omg Rue in the beginner’s class!

Oh noooo Uzura’s saaaaad

I KNOW I’ve heard this songgggggggg

THAT WAS A BIT OF THE FOSSILS FROM CARNIVAL OF THE ANIMALS???

Okayokayokay so it’s not Carnival of the Animals but DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS it’s another piece by Saint-Saens and DO YOU KNOW what that piece is called????? fuckin Danse Macabre!!!!! I am immediately filled with a sense of foreboding!!!

The music choices in this show are going to destroy me one day

HOLY CRAP????

I can’t believe so goddamn much happened in this episode???

Episode 25 - The Dying Swan

I’m not rrrrrrrrreadyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Not even the narrator’s obvious disappointment in Drosselmeyer can give me solace

Oh my god so is the Drosselmeyer we know just a character in Dead Drosselmeyer’s story?

I think it’s a testament to this story’s power that I’m having so many emotions about it even though I know what’s going to happen? Like, some stories, reading the summary is pretty much the same as hearing the story, but Princess Tutu is not one of those stories

Like I just overcame my social anxiety to ask my roommate to be quieter, that’s how good this story is

Aaaaaagh Rue’s change from saying “you love me” to saying “I love you” my HEART

Oh shoot! Mytho’s angry! I thought one of the gate heart shards might be anger

Oh my god Autor literally no one cares what TEA Drosselmeyer drank look at Fakir he’s so done

Aaaaaaaa ohno

EVISCERATE HIM FAKIR

Holyshitholyshitholyshit

Okay but see the lake is outside the city so Dross just took some random normal duck and plunked her down in his fairytale town and that’s why like, a cat teacher seems weird to her because she’s not from inside the story

OH NO THEY’RE PLAYING THE SWAN BUT THIS TIME IT’S RUE

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr fuck OFFFFFF

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh it’s the sword birds

excUSE you Dross, the knight has NOT “long been useless”

Episode 26 - Finale

I can’t believe after 9 years I’m finally going to finish watching this show

Okay it’s happening

It begins and ends with “once upon a time, there was a man who died”, the absolute most perfect first line in the history of first lines and you can fight me on this

Okay I’m already almost crying just from the theme song, like the Tchaikovsky fits perfectly into it? I’m gonna sing it

I’m just screaming???? They’re all in distress

BUT DUCK IS NOT GOING TO GIVE IN TO DISTRESS

RUE IS THE SWAN

DUCK DECIDES TO WRITE HER OWN STORY AND THE MUSIC FROM THE END OF THE THEME SONG STARTS PLAYING MY HEART

I’M ACTUALLY CRYING

IT’S ALL THE PEOPLE SHE HELPED

THEY ARE PLAYING THE THEME THAT PLAYS WHEN DUCK IS HAPPY

FUCKING -- AND YOU HIT ME WITH ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A MAN WHO DIED NOW

LOOK! LOOK THE SCENERY OUTSIDE THE TOWN FADES IN

I watched it.

#princess tutu watch #i still cannot believe

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shimyereh · 6 years

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10 songs I’ve been obsessed with at some point:

Tagged by @tollers-and-jack! The original prompt was 10 songs you’re currently obsessed with, but I decided to revisit some older obsessions here to make this different from my last music tag post. Also, orchestral focus this time and I’m using “song” a little loosely. Some of these are kind of long and/or have multiple movements.

Poem, Griffes [Probably my favorite flute concerto. I had a whole detailed story of mental imagery worked out for it at one point. I still fantasize about getting to perform it with a full orchestra someday.]

Kitezh suite, Rimsky-Korsakov [The Legend of the Invisible City of Kitezh and the Maiden Fevroniya is a weird, weird opera. I listened to the whole thing once, back in high school. It haphazardly mashes together several legends and the characters feel a little cardboard-cutout-ish, but I love the parts that get featured in this suite.]

Summer Day suite, Prokofiev [Favorite sections: “Repentance”, “The moon is over the meadows”. File the whole thing under: unexpected W&P feels.]

The Swan of Tuonela, Sibelius [Musical depiction of the swan that floats through the realm of the dead in Finnish mythology. Side note: It's fascinating how much the English horn gets associated with death themes in classical music. That, and shepherds.]

Caucasian Sketches, Ippolitov-Ivanov [I distinctly remember the first time I heard this on the radio as a teenager, and then immediately having to track it down afterwards. I once choreographed a dance piece to the second movement, “In a village”.]

Butterfly Lovers Concerto, Chen/He [This is a beautiful storytelling piece. The solo violin is supposed to be Zhu Yingtai, and the cello that duets with it here and there is supposed to be Liang Shanbo. I blame this piece for inspiring me to visit the Butterfly Lovers Museum in Ningbo when I was studying abroad in China.]

The Birds, Respighi [17th- and 18th-century themes, orchestrated in a vivid 20th-century way. And it really sounds like all those different birds! Listen for the chickens pecking and scratching in their movement.]

In the Steppes of Central Asia, Borodin [That English horn part! <3 Also, I just generally love that thing Borodin does where he establishes two very different themes and then weaves them together. I admired the heck out of Borodin as a kid — not only did he write beautiful music, he also had a double life as both a chemist and a composer.]

Fantasia on a Theme by Thomas Tallis, Vaughan Williams [Another 20th-century reimagining of ancient music. I used this as the soundtrack for a film adaptation project of one of Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales in a high school English class. Highlights included a dream sequence with lego stuntpeople dressed in vaguely the same colors as our actors, and a poorly choreographed fight scene with a ninja. (Chaucer said Arveragus went off to do deeds of valor in faraway lands okay.) This music made the whole thing seem classier, somehow.]

The Flower-Clock, Françaix [Oboe concerto where each movement is named after a different flower and the time of day it opens! Vivid orchestration, and a lot of fun to play.]

This got a little rambly, so I think I’m not going to tag anyone. If you see it and want to do the meme, consider yourself tagged!

#music musings

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junker-town · 4 years

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The 76ers need to embrace their weirdness

The Philadelphia 76ers are still finding themselves.

The 76ers weren’t built to win conventionally, they were built to win differently.

The Philadelphia 76ers are a strange basketball team. Their star is a giant low-post player in an era rendering them extinct. Their co-star is a 6’9 point guard who refuses to shoot jumpers. Their other starters are a modern center starting out of position, a max-salaried combo forward on his fifth team, and an off-guard pest who could never quite be the featured player his previous team wanted. The two stars play more minutes apart than together, even when both are actually healthy.

Saying the 76ers are bizarre is obvious, yet it’s always — always — worth repeating. No matter how hard the 76ers try, no matter how spirited their locker room actually is at any given moment, they are one weird-ass team by design. Because of that, the same qualities that make the 76ers difficult to play against — their mammoth size, positional fluidity, incoherent play style, and emphasis on trench warfare — also make it difficult for them to coalesce around each other. Their abnormality cuts both ways, and the line between that being a bug and a feature is razor thin.

At this moment, it’s a bug. Following a New Year’s Eve beatdown in Indiana, Josh Richardson said there isn’t “enough accountability” in the locker room. Philly then fell in Houston two nights later, after which a frustrated Joel Embiid lamented “it doesn’t feel like we’re getting better.” These comments come on the heels of Al Horford’s frank admission that his 76ers experience hasn’t been as fun as expected.

When it goes bad for Philly, it can look like the players barely know each other. No other team has this many sequences where two players think they can post up on the same side.

None have cramped spacing like this.

Few commit more disappointing defensive breakdowns, though that’s largely because we expect to always see the unmatched cohesion they show at their best. Ben Simmons can and does put the clamps on so many types of players, which makes baffling off-ball mistakes like this all the more frustrating.

And it’s not just the two stars that get sloppy. The 76ers are turnover-prone, yet they also make a ton of mistakes that are harder to spot. Take this moment against Houston. After a missed free throw, the 76ers cleared out the right side to set up a backdoor pass for Richardson. As the play commenced, Mike Scott bizarrely decided to cut into the lane from the left wing, right in front of Richardson! The result: a much tougher layup that anticipated because Richardson had to finish over two players.

At best, this rough patch could cost the 76ers valuable seeding in the East’s unexpectedly deep upper-middle class. At worst, it could pull the team apart. Certainly, the on-court body language isn’t ideal.

That said, it’s essential for us (and, more crucially, them) to keep things in perspective. Prior to the Indiana game, the 76ers had a better point differential against the top six teams in each conference (+5.3) than everyone else (+4.34). (Note: this included a 19-point loss to Dallas, a nominal top-six team that played without MVP candidate Luka Doncic). That gap would be much wider if you removed one 47-point blowout win against Cleveland from those 22 games against the bottom 18 teams in the league.

When the 76ers were tested by the kind of opponents they need to beat to achieve their title dreams, their weirdness provided a substantial boost. Accountability didn’t seem like much of a problem with Embiid and Ben Simmons here.

And the supposed rickety offensive synergy between the two stars seemed pretty damn good here. Take it away, Doris Burke:

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And it looks even better when they execute a beautiful hi-lo like this.

Or when they use Simmons as a short roller.

When the 76ers click, they click in unexpectedly fluid ways. Entry passes to Embiid can come from angles that opponents aren’t used to seeing, which makes his physical dominance seem insurmountable. We know Simmons has the vision to throw passes others can’t, but how many point guards are also lob threats, offensive rebounding monsters, and dribble hand-off screeners at his size? (Friend of the program Kyle Neubeck hits the nail on the head: Simmons is far too versatile to be used like a ball-dominant figure). Few wings have as diverse a shot profile as Tobias Harris, which comes in handy when trying to subvert defense’s expectations or get out of a tight spot.

On the other end, Philly’s collective perimeter size combines with Embiid’s towering presence to shrink the court. Embiid and Simmons have remarkable agility for players their size, allowing the former to brace himself for full-speed drives and the latter to keep his hips on balance while taking massive lateral steps to stay with any perimeter scorer. Richardson’s a damn pest, Harris is improving his fundamentals, and rookie Matisse Thybulle lurks like a shadow from behind. Shots that opponents get off easily against anyone else don’t materialize against Philly.

Even the 76ers’ substitution patterns throw opponents off. The 76ers don’t really have a second unit. Instead, they essentially have four hockey lines: the starters, the Simmons-centric speed group with Horford playing center, the “checking line” featuring Embiid surrounded by floor spacers, and whatever mishmash of the three seems appropriate at any given time. They are multiple teams within the same game, and that throws more traditional opponents for a loop.

Describing the 76ers as four teams in one sounds like a positive way to spin their core’s lack of cohesion, but that’s exactly the point. Everything that makes the 76ers a challenging opponent also makes it more challenging for them to win conventionally. This is the price of being different, and the best thing the 76ers can do is accept that it doesn’t take much for their greatest weapon to become an anvil over their head.

Accepting the situation isn’t the same as accepting their current state. There’s plenty of low-hanging fruit the 76ers can snatch to get back on the right side of that thin line.

For one, their floor spacing can be much better even with their current personnel. They don’t need to have two players cutting to the basket at the same time, as they so often do. It’s not that hard for Simmons to cut anywhere other than directly behind Embiid.

Or for three players to go to the rim as Harris posts up. I mean, really?

If they time those cuts juuuust a bit better, they can balance the floor more effectively in transition and still maintain their bully-ball aesthetic. Seriously, why is Horford rolling into space that Simmons already occupies? Clean that up, and every role player will start to look better.

Embiid and Simmons also have plenty of fat they can trim from their own games. Embiid may never get the floor spacing he desires, but he can still roll harder to the rim than this. At least he’ll force other defenders to occupy him, thereby freeing teammates up.

Simmons certainly could use a jumper, but he’d survive better without one if he actually powered through traffic instead of always gliding around it. Simmons won’t be blessed with the spread floor that Giannis Antetokounmpo profits from in Milwaukee, but no team of his should be 28th in drives per game and 29th in points off drives. Simmons neuters the impact of his own kickout passes by delivering the ball too early.

And he’s way too big and strong to be finishing this meekly around the basket.

Among 49 players who average more than 10 drives per game, Simmons is tied for 35th (with Jrue Holiday, of all people) in shooting percentage on said plays. Some names in front of him: Ish Smith, Markelle Fultz, Dennis Schroder, Collin Sexton, Tomas Satoransky, Spencer Dinwiddie, Goran Dragic, and Jeff Teague. Simmons shouldn’t need the extra boost of an open floor to beat out those guys.

But finding the energy to make those changes requires accepting the team’s general state of affairs. In a perfect world, Simmons would take a few jumpers, Embiid would get more post-ups, Harris could actually make advanced passing reads, and Brown would empower Horford more effectively. And sure, the 76ers could use one more shooter, as well as some supplementary playmaking to phase out all those Trey Burke minutes that are way too necessary right now.

But the 76ers weren’t built to win conventionally, they were built to win differently. It’s too late for half measures.

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amplesalty · 4 years

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Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (2004)

A not so random review...

What’s this, content outside of the periods of October or December? Well, I guess you could call this striking while the iron is hot-ish, and trying to keep the ball rolling after I actually made it through a whole October for once. That and this is laying the groundwork for something a little further down the line.

Summarizing this as ‘the Indian dude from Van Wilder and the Asian dude from American Pie’ almost feels a little lazy but I think that’s literally how it was advertised at the time. Apparently John Cho’s character in Pie is who we have to thank for the popularization of the term ‘MILF’. As for Kal Penn, I had totally forgotten he’d worked under President Obama for like nearly two years.

It’s Cho I’m more familiar with though, primarilly down to his turn on the short lived TV show Off Centre that I would watch in the early 2000’s when it aired in the middle of the night on a Friday/Saturday and I had nothing better to do. That show was notable for having a lot of people from American Pie working on it and doing cameos. That and having Brit Sean Maguire in it for some reason. I think watching Cho on there is how I came to watch this because Chau rules, it says so on the wall. He was on FlashForward too, I keep referencing that. He’s arguably the more succesful of the duo, doing the new Star Treks over the past decade or so and he had that movie Searching last year which I think got a lot of buzz due to him being the lead and that was a first for an Asian-American actor. That and it takes place entirely over computer and phone screens so that’s a bit of a unique presentation. Kinda like Unfriended being done over Skype.

There’s a bit of an odd couple situation going on between Harold and Kumar, Harold being a more repressed, law abiding type (apart from the rampant weed use) and Kumar being the more outgoing, messy type who will shave his pubic hair in your room because you have the full length mirror and wont see any problem in that. After getting high, the pair have a craving for some White Castle and this starts our whole whacky adventure.

An adventure that wont include their stoner neighbours who would prefer to stay home and watch ‘The Gift’ because they get to see a topless Katie Holmes. Dude, it’s 2004, I’m pretty sure you can just look at them online by now. They later describe her tits as the opposite of the Holocaust which is certainly an interesting description. Try that as a chat up line, I’m sure it will end well. Their neighbours being David Krumholtz, notable for his role in Numb3rs or, more pertinent to this blog, the lead elf in The Santa Clause. Then there’s Eddie Kaye Thomas who was also in American Pie and Off Centre, I feel like he kinda fell off the face of the earth after that though.

They serve as an early example of the cameos that this movie will through at you, which I suppose is fitting for a road trip movie, the story is just passing through all these locations so you get a brief look at these new characters before moving on. But there’s a ton of them in here, so many recognisable people from Fredd Willard, Ryan Reynolds, Christopher Meloni and…ugh, Jamie Kennedy. We’ll save the most prominent one though…

I wasn’t really feeling this at first, mostly because it takes a while for anything of interest to happen. Like, one of their early stops is Princeton because they’re trying to score more weed but most of the time is spent with Harold and this really boring group of nerds that seem to idolise him. Kumar hits it off with these two British chicks but we then get a prolonged sequence of fart jokes with them in the toilet playing ‘Battleshits’. I have no clue on how the mechanics of this game work, I guess it’s just whoever gets the loudest fart scores as a hit?

Things pick up when the movie starts embracing absurdity, like when Harold gets bitten by a racoon so they have to go to the hospital and Kumar swipes his Dad’s security pass so they can go steal medical marijuana. Only, they both get ushered into the operating theatre to operate on a guy who’s been shot.

Or the mechanic called Freakshow who has all sorts of boils over his face and a cuckoldry relationship with his wife who he invites our two heroes to have sex with.

Speaking of sex, they also happen to pick up a very horny Neil Patrick Harris who isn’t interested in their talk of White Castle and wants to go get laid at the strip club instead. The wikipedia page for the movie describes NPH as playing ‘a fictionalized version of himself’, would that be the part where he’s off his tits on ecstasy or the part where he’s attracted to women?

For all of it’s cameos, there’s almost an anti-cameo in the form of this cop who writes Harold a ticket for jay walking for taking like a step out into the road at 2am with no cars around. He just looks recognisable in some way but I can’t see that the actor has done anything of note. Maybe it’s just because he looks like a low rent Ron Burgundy.

The movie suddenly decides to develop some social commentary here with this heavy handed display of racial profiling where the police arrest an African-American man for a shooting in spite of the fact he’s at sleeping at the time. They’re processing him in his pajamas and night mask for God’s sake!

This does bring us the dream sequence of Kumar having a love affair with a big bag of weed though. You know the type, the slow motion running into each others arms? Well this goes a step further by having him fuck the bag, get married and then go through this marital strife where he backhands her for making some bad coffee before having to comfort her.

And then the pair get high with a cheetah and ride it around because NPH stole their car. You see what I mean about the absurdity?

Thankfully they do finally make it to White Castle, at about 7am, and indulge in a mammoth order of 30 sliders, 5 french fries and 4 large Cherry Cokes. And that’s just for one of them. Times that order by two and it all comes to $46.75. I know those burgers are only small but they still feels pretty cheap for all that food.

And for as much as this does feel like one big advertisement, they really go the whole hog by having this food seemingly give these characters epiphanies in their lives. Kumar is no longer satisfied with avoiding life, he’s finally going to knuckle down and nail one of those university interviews because as much as a stereotype as it is, there’s probably a lot worse things to be than an Indian doctor. And Harold finally stands up to his jerk boss who dumped all his work on him because those Asians just love crunching numbers.

He even gets the confidence to talk to the hot chick in their apartment building but it sucks that it took him until now to strike up a relationship because she’s going to Amsterdam for the next 10 days. Clearly this calls for another crazy adventure because you can’t just leave things like that for the best part of two weeks, plus you know what’s legal in Holland…only, knowing the title of the next movie, I don’t know if they ever make it that far…

I feel there’s a weird mix of tones with this movie, I think it excels when you have your far out moments of drug related dream sequences or cheetah based road trips but it’s pulled down to reality with these really harsh scenes of just explicit racism and this message of standing up for yourself. Again, knowing the sequel, that whole race thing seems to remain quite a strong focal point of the movie….

#Harold & Kumar #Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

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lia-nikiforov · 7 years

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Winter 2017 Anime watchlist

Lmao this was supposed to go up last week but it takes me forever to write these things up orz.

Anyway, we’re 1/3 of the way into this barren Winter season, and thus my watchlist has shrunk significantly. I think I’m currently watching what, 10 shows? vs 23-ish last season? Anyway we’ve had a couple neat surprises this season, but it’s mostly the sequels that are keeping everything interesting. Also there’s quality hatewatch material which I hadn’t had in a while.

Because I fucked up, this time I’m going from best to worst rather than the usual opposite

Top Priority

Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinju: Futatabi Sukeroku-hen

To no one’s surprise, Rakugo maintains it’s tightly written character drama in top form. The direction is still unusually creative and masterful, especially considering this is a DEEN anime, production team deserves every kudo. If season one was a tragedy, season 2 is gearing up for a story of salvation. Every week I go in completely prepared to suffer and am repeatedly surprised by how happy I feel at the end of each episode. Scenes like Yakumo consoling a sleeping Konatsu with her father’s rakugo or his performing an old play in Sukeroku’s style for Yotaro are as heart-wrenching as they’re heartwarming. S1 was a strong contender for anime of the year 2016 (and for me it was a toss up between that and YOI) and season 2 seems ready to pick on that and go for a second run.

High-Priority

Ao no Exorcist: Kyoto saga

Honestly this one had my full devotion guaranteed when they decided to commit to those thick af Kansai accents. I am also very pleased with the budget this is getting, it looks reeeaaally nice. Kato’s designs have translated to animation greatly (not that this was a surprise since they did that pretty well on the first series too). The plot seems to be moving rather fast so I wonder if they won’t suffer to fill in the full cour (although this arc is quite long) but for the time being I’m excited to get the Kyoto otaku in me continually catered to.

Yowamushi Pedal: Next Generation

I was a Little dubious about how well they’d manage the transition of Makishima’s departure, and while killing him off was rather abrupt to the point I’d even say the guy was fridged for the sake of Onoda’s development, they did a rather good job in setting Teshima as the new role model for the 1st years (who is also very dreamy). I also laughed my ass off with how gigantic they made Ashikiba who is a rather delightful addition to the cast. Kudos to you show, you’ve got me excited in a new season even without my favorite character.

Little Witch Academia

It’s hard to find something to say about this show other than it’s energetic, lively and fun to a fault and that Sucy is still Best Girl. It’s very easy to tell how passionate the folks at TRIGGER are about this project and I’m glad they didn’t give up and continued to work on it even if it was poorly received by Japanese audiences. The show reminds me a bit of The Worst Witch, which I used to love in my early teens so there’s also that.

Kuzu no Honkai

This is such a fascinatingly disturbing show to watch. Like watching a trainwreck I guess, except that it’s not a trainwreck in the sense of Hand Shakers, but in you’re just watching all these horrible people destroy each other and self-destruct emotionally and it’s really interesting. I’m particularly invested in Hanabi’s internal struggle and self-deprecation. Could complete dispose of Moca (whose choice of nickname makes my skin crawl) but otherwise I’m constantly at the edge of my seat waiting for the next developments. I also continue to be rather fond of the vagina imagery in the ending, and I appreciate that there’s actually a show that treats female sexuality in a layered, human way, for purposes beyond otaku titillation.

All Out!!

This show continues to grow on me with its unique approach to team dynamics. The fact that rugby teams are so big gives us an interesting opportunity of seeing many characters take the spotlight at different times, and this show’s cast continues to be funny and extremely likable to the point that even if Gion has had to sit out most of the games, and even if there isn’t as much focus on Sekizan as I’d like, they’re still engaging and fun. There have also been genuinely emotional peaks, notoriously when that one guy quite the team and it crushed Sekizan’s heart. Also kudos for how even in-show Sekizan’s amazing hair is considered cray-cray

Classicaloid

Honestly this second cour just keeps getting better? I don’t know how they did it but they managed to make me not care about whether we’ll ever get some semblance of plot or explanations, I could watch the Beethoven, Mozart, Schubert, Chopin and Liszt doing nonsense stuff show all year round. Whoever wrote the Fish!Schubert episode should get an Oscar and a Nobel Prize

Here we make a drastic leap between things I’m loving and things I’m just eh-watching

ACCA 13-ku Kansatsu-ka

Aaaahhh what should I do about you, show. Ep 1 was okay, ep 2 was great, ep 3 was kind of nothing. There’s obviously way more than meets the eye in this allegedly peaceful country and once that starts to unfold the show will start gaining momentum, hopefully, but as it is I think it suffers greatly from how inscrutable the main character is. I have no idea of Jean’s motivations beyond his love of cigarettes (and I feel they’re overdoing it, unless they plan to make the tabacco thing a crucial part of the plot later on, they’re hammering the whole ‘tobacco is rare and this guy is weird for smoking’ thing way too hard) so we’re at this weird position of not really knowing where we’re going. I’m intrigued enough to keep watching, but I certainly hope we get some form of interesting developments sooner rather than later.

Gundam Iron-Blooded Orphans

The writing continues to be notoriously better while the story gets more and more tragic and I still don’t know how to feel about it. Seeing bad guys cheating their way to victory always upsets me a lot, and seeing people die meaninglessly only adds insult to injury. I’m in too deep to drop it at this point, but I honestly can’t forgive how they didn’t even give us that final revenge moment against the Kujan kid. Also every time Atra brings up her dream life of being part of a polyamorous marriage with Mikazuki creeps me the fuck out because obviously Mikazuki doesn’t have the emotional maturity to engage in any such relationship

Onihei

I’m very uncertain about what to do with this show. First episode was promising, with murky direction, but interesting setting. Episode two was mostly unimpressive, the final twist was rather predictable and the moral outcome wasn’t particularly satisfying. And then episode three put me to sleep. My first impression was that the dyamics between Heizo and his thief-turned-snitch subordinate would be the core of the show, but the latter seems to have been mostly sidelined in favor of focusing on the coolness of Heizo. Which isn’t a problem per say, but the execution just isn’t working and they’re completely wasting the Edo setting, with the cases turning out quite generic. I don’t know, ep 4 is already out so I guess I’ll check that out and decide from there (watched episode 4 already, fell asleep again which I guess is as good a sign as any that this isn’t working for me,but I’m too lazy to move it to the bottom. Dropped)

Hate-watching

Hand Shakers

Why is this pile of steaming garbage over the mediocre (and gross) show? Well, this one’s gross too, but exceedingly terrible is always better for ironic entertainment than plain boring stuff. At least Hand Shakers keeps me engrossed with its terribleness. Honest to good, even if I hardly remember what the previous episode was about, I’m always looking forward to the next one, I enjoy the terribleness too much.

Also, this is a little insignificant, but this is the first time I see any reference to the Japanese immigrants in Brazil (th, which was kind of a big thing back in the 1930s, in any anime I’ve ever watched, and since I had to look up into that for my thesis, it felt kinda nice to see it and understand why Brazil of all countries.

Super Lovers 2

This is so boring. Even when they try to address the issues I had with the previous season (mainly questioning the nature of Haru and Ren’s relationship), they always do it half-assedly. No drama, no tension, no resolution and certainly no semblance of any plot progression and it’s becoming increasingly tedious. The introduction of the new host guy could add at least some drama to the plot, but I’m not holding my breath. The dog continues to be cute

I dropped Marginal #4 since episode 2 and I can’t quite remember what it was about other than there was a long sequence of one of the guys desperately looking for his “lucky undies” and I’m too old for this level of juvenile “lol undies” humor. Turns out “not putting me to sleep” wasn’t that strong an asset after all.

Anyway really dead season but the scarce good stuff is really quite good, and the truly terrible stuff is so terrible it’s hilarious so overall the season doesn’t feel as terrible as it could.

#winter anime #anime watchlist #showa genroku rakugo shinju #ao no exorcist #yowamushi pedal #kuzu no honkai #little witch academia #all out!!#classicaloid #acca 13-ku kansatsu-ka #gundam iron blooded orphans #onihei #hand shakers #super lovers

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evenstevensranked · 7 years

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#51: Season 3, Episode 9 - “Short Story”

After Lawrence Jr. High temporarily merges with a neighboring school, Louis discovers he has an "evil twin" by the name of Loomis Freeman who pulls even worse immature pranks than he does. Ren likes a mystery merger guy she offered to share her locker with until she meets him face-to-face and finds out he's significantly shorter than her.

The episode opens with Wexler on the school intercom explaining what’s going on, while simultaneously getting a deep tissue massage. Not a weird start at all. There’s been an infestation of cockroaches *shivers* at Jefferson Junior High. So for the time being, the Jefferson kids are staying at Lawrence. Within the first minute, Ren, Ruby and Monique are talking about what they’re going to wear to the school’s “social event of the season.” Ren says that some of the Jefferson guys have serious date potential, so the three girls start checking the guys out. I kinda like this, because the first dude they pick is black. I know it shouldn’t be important, but I couldn’t help but notice. (As a biracial person, I just tend to be more aware of this stuff lol) I thought it was nice!! No discrimination on Disney Channel!

Ren tells the girls that she volunteered to share her locker with someone. When she opens it up, it’s clear that someone has already moved in. They suspect it’s a boy. You can tell the person is into photography. There’s a camera and some prints in there. Ren takes a look at some of the things and concludes that the mystery guy’s stuff is “cool” and she wonders who he is. Oooooh!

Next we see Louis, Twitty and Tawny in the hall. Twitty asks Louis if he’s going to get a new suit for the “big dance.” Louis says “Let me explain something to you, because I’m adamant about this. There is a dance this Friday night, but it’s not necessarily the BIG dance!” Tawny asks why not since it’s their semi-formal. Which is another thing that makes me feel like they’re supposed to be in High School, but Disney decided to set it in Junior High for demographic reasons. I never had a semi-formal in middle school. But, hey! Maybe that’s just me. Can I also just say - I love that Louis used the word “adamant”? He makes a solid point though when he goes on to say that he doesn’t like to throw the word “big” around: “It’s always the Big Dance, or the Big Formal, or the Big Track Meet. WHAT ABOUT THE TRACK MEETS THAT ARE JUST TRACK MEETS?!” -- True.

Suddenly, we get a 7 years pre-“Glee” Naya Rivera cameo! She walks up to the gang and stomps on Louis’ foot. She accuses him of putting gum in her hair. He swears it wasn’t him so she kicks him again for lying. The plot is being set up without giving it away pretty well here!

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Twitty awkwardly puts her hair in his pocket at the end. I don’t get that, lol. But… okaaaay.

Ren has yet to meet her mysterious locker buddy so, with some persuasion from Monique and Ruby, she takes a look in one of his books and finds out his name is Travis Gresham. Ren decides she has to meet him. So, she basically turns into a nervous puddle of goop every time she sees a Jefferson dude, thinking any one of them could be him. But, nope! No luck.

We see Louis (or at least someone who looks just like Louis) hiding in the hall watching Twitty use the water fountain. The water goes everywhere and “Louis” runs away laughing. Soon after, we see Louis being taken into custody by Wexler. This time he’s being accused of putting a fake mouse in the faculty fruit bowl but once again, Louis has no idea what Wexler is talking about and is screaming that he’s innocent. Ren is distracted by this drama and ends up missing Travis get a book out of their locker. Since she’s Vice Principal Ren Stevens, she decides to go to the office and look up his file. Of course, there’s no photo attached to it. However, while she’s there she notices a different file with a picture of Louis attached to it. Except it’s not Louis… It’s LOOMIS! Yeah. A Jefferson kid by the name of Loomis Freeman. This is too much, lol. (See cover photo.)

Ren immediately shows Louis the file and he figures out that it must be Loomis who’s been playing all the pranks and starts to refer to him as his “evil twin.” Twitty even believes that it was Louis who rigged the fountain until Louis shows him the picture of Loomis. I love their friendship. Twitty believes him right away, no questions asked. It’s great. Next, a girl with chocolate all over her face approaches Louis at lunch. She doesn’t say a single word because if she did Disney would have to pay her, so she just stands there silently blaming him for it and pies him in the face as payback. Poor Louis, man. Dang.

“Loomis Freeman must be stopped, Twitty.”

Ren hears someone say “Hey, Travis!” to a guy at lunch, sooo... It must be the mystery guy!! Yay! She goes over and introduces herself as his locker buddy. She sits down and they end up having an awesome conversation. They talk for so long, they don’t even notice that lunch is over and everyone’s gone! Travis asks Ren to the dance and she’s so excited……. until they stand up and he’s literally at least a foot shorter than her. Yikes! I would try not to care about something as trivial as that but I can definitely see how Ren might be embarrassed.

She tries her best to be kind because they did get along amazingly. But when Ruby and Monique meet him, they tease her and crack jokes about it. Rude. (But honestly some of the jokes were funny. I couldn’t help but laugh. I’m so sorry, Travis!)

All of a sudden, Louis Loomis comes riding by on a bike and sprays the girls with a water gun. Louis runs up to them seconds later and asks if “he” just rode by on a bike and which direction “he” went, haha. Loomis and Louis are dressed extremely similarly though. That’s a bit of a slip-up, imo. They should’ve at least dressed them in slightly contrasting styles or something because the only physical/visual difference between them is Loomis’ hair -- it’s teased out larger than Louis’. I will say, one thing I actually really like about this episode is that it highlights how mature and smart Louis actually is compared to someone much sillier and dumb.

Loomis.

Louis, like, 5 seconds later. I know they’re supposed to look alike and confuse people and everything. But, they’re already being played by the same actor!! They didn’t need to actually be dressed like twins. What are the odds of that? Well, then again.. what are the odds Louis would have an identical evil twin? I’m taking this show too seriously, lol.

Louis has a large copy of Loomis’ file photo in his room and is using it as a dartboard. For real though, that picture should honestly be a poster or something. I mean, how iconic is this image?! If Even Stevens ever becomes as popular as other older shows in the nostalgia wave this would most definitely be a hipster-y poster to have. Like, this picture of Urkel or that “Animal House” John Belushi poster or something. Bad examples. I can’t think of anything else right now. You get the gist!! One of those posters that speaks for itself. You look at it and automatically know there’s a pop culture reference there. Even if you’re not familiar with what/where the reference comes from, you just KNOW it’s a thing. It’s Shia LaBeouf making a ridiculous face. I’d hang that in my room right now.

Louis is getting super worked up over the fact Loomis is basically ruining his life. He stops to think of what Loomis’ next move might be and realizes he’s most likely going to try to sabotage “the Big Dance.” Yep. Louis goes back on his word from earlier in the episode and explains “it just became the Big Dance.” Perfect!

During class, Ren can’t stop thinking about Travis’ height. She tries telling herself that it’s not important but this quickly segues into a nightmare-ish daydream sequence. She imagines going on a date with him and he just keeps getting shorter and shorter -- until he's a tiny little ant and Monique accidentally sits on him. Ouch. It actually reminds me of this scene/montage from Lizzie McGuire, where Gordo feels self-conscious about his height and also dreams about being super tiny.

Ren lets the pressure get to her and says she can’t go to the dance with him.

Loomis already put flies in the ice cubes (nasty!) by the time Louis and Twitty arrive at the dance that night. Wexler suspects it was Louis who did it but lets him off the hook with a warning. Side note: As someone who had a massive crush on Shia/Louis growing up and feels like a 12 year old again every time they watch this show… I have to say that Louis looks so weird in the best, most lovely way ever when he's not wearing a freaking Hawaiian shirt lol. It’s so refreshing to see! Like, whoa.

He looks so suave. Why did people sleep on Shia and call him ugly back then?! Also this blazer is so loud and oddly very “Louis” somehow. It’s not really the kind of blazer I’d picture him wearing but it just works. Same goes for the TURTLE NECK?! Really. Louis owns a turtle neck?! I love this character. Ugh.

Ren, Monique, and Ruby go to the dance together and they’re all dressed very Junior High appropriate and accurate! My friends and I dressed exactly like them at our 8th Grade class night, which I guess you could consider our version of a “prom” type thing. The dress I wore was super similar to Ren’s minus the giant flower, haha.

Ren feels bad about turning Travis down and is really hoping to see him there. She waits by the punchbowl and Loomis dances his way over like a fool. Ren is convinced he’s Louis at first and compliments his outfit, but then he sprays her in the face with one of those squirting flower pins on his jacket. Loomis runs off laughing and Ren realizes it was the ~evil twin.~ Louis walks around a bit brainstorming what Loomis could be plotting when it hits him… Loomis is going to fill the overhead balloons with water.

Same, Ren.

Travis gets up in front of everyone at the dance and shows a slideshow of photos he took during his week at Lawrence. He thanks LJH for being awesome hosts and ends the slide by saying “and some of us even made new friends…” accompanied by two super cheesy “candid” photos he took of Ren, lol.

Meanwhile, Louis comes face to face with Loomis. This is pretty great. Not only does it showcase Shia playing two different characters in one scene (very well, I might add) but it’s just another thing that shows how serious Louis can be when you put him next to an actual wacky lunatic.

Sure enough, he finds Loomis up above the dance holding a balloon full of water. Louis mocks him for only filling one balloon and says he’s tired of being blamed for his “shoddy work.” Louis’ vocabulary is on point in this episode. He spends some time trying to convince Loomis to hand over the balloon - as if it’s a gun and Loomis is one minute away from pulling the trigger or something. Unfortunately the balloon ends up falling on Ren, and Louis is genuinely upset about it. I’d be sick of being blamed for crap like that too. Wexler proceeds to KICK LOUIS OUT OF THE DANCE. He seriously pushes him out the door and locks him out. This bothers me so much!

Louis vs. Loomis: WWE SmackDown.

Ren ends up apologizing to Travis and all is well again. They dance together and it’s a little awkward. Not because of the height difference but because, as I’ve mentioned before, “Romantic Ren” is cringy. Part of me feels like she’s supposed to be though. Let’s face it - we were all overly dramatic and took “relationships” (i.e. instant messaging two words to your crush on AIM last night) very seriously in middle school.

The episode ends with Tawny approaching Loomis thinking he’s Louis. Come on, Tawny! You should be able to tell it’s not him! Loomis creepily smells Tawny’s shirt and says “…………..you smell purrrrdy.” It’s actually hilarious. Tawny is so confused. She’s just like “….you smell… purrrrdy too?” I can’t. Loomis asks her to dance and Louis ends up having to watch them slow dance from outside the window. He’s basically having a stroke screaming at Loomis to get off of her. This is so???

Wexler sees Louis at the window and goes one step further by closing the blinds on him!! I feel so bad.

This episode always leaves me feeling frustrated lol. Why does Louis have to lose like that?! :( This one is actually pretty good and entertaining though! The Louis/Loomis face-off is probably the best scene. And I don’t mind the Ren plot either! My only real issue is that there isn’t really any stand-out dialogue here. And the evil twin thing is, just… I mean… really? Season 3 was wild. I’m not gonna lie, when I first got back into the show I kept forgetting about this episode for some reason?! I don’t exactly know why. How could you forget Loomis Freeman?!

I hope you’re all doing well during this crazy time on Earth. Thank you so very much for reading, as usual! And chime in below! :)

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