Together Again Part Four: After the End
Trigger Warning: Death
Moons 105 to 119
She was asleep.
A change made her wake.
Well, it was less of a change and more of an absence. An absence of the sound that had been by her side for longer than she could remember. The sound that had been there when all others hadn’t. The sound that had gone silent.
Rosemaryquake wasn’t coughing.
Antlersky strained her ears, channeling the wind through the warriors' den. For the first time in a quarter moon, there was no coughing coming from the Healer’s den.
She searched deeper, not caring when the gusts of wind woke up her denmates. She searched for the inhale and exhale that had forever echoed in her ears, as familiar to her as her own.
It.
Wasn’t.
There.
She screamed into the void, desperate to fill it with sound. Devastated when her scream was the only sound she heard. Cats moved around her but she ignored them.
She ran to the clearing, the clearing where so many breathless bodies had lain. Stormrush’s and Egretshell’s and now-
-her sister’s.
Caterpillarmallow looked up from where she had placed the limp, gray body. Her eyes were tired as they met Antlersky’s desperate ones. She shook her head.
Antlersky collapsed to the ground.
She stuffed her nose into the still, gray fur, listening and feeling and smelling for any signs of movement.
There were none.
Her sister was dead.
Rosemaryquake had reached her end.
And Antlersky was left to live in its wake.
~~~
A new day broke.
Rosemaryquake’s body was buried.
But Antlersky was still where her sister had left her.
Caterpillarmallow returned from seeing to the other sick cats and sat down next to her. Antlersky listened to her breath. It was steady. Almost the exact same length inhale and exhale each time. Antlersky loved its consistency.
She loved Caterpillarmallow’s consistency.
She loved Caterpillarmallow.
Antlersky’s own breath caught.
She wouldn’t wait any longer. She couldn’t. There was no world where she risked losing that breath without even trying to keep it at her side.
So, still sitting in the clearing where her sister’s body had lain only hours before, she asked.
And Caterpillarmallow said yes.
After the end, they watched the day go by.
~~~
Somehow, life continued.
Antlersky supposed she shouldn’t be surprised. It always had in the past.
The first moons were hard. There was a canyon in her heart that could never be filled.
But, slowly, day by day, she got used to it.
She teased her half-brothers and sisters without resenting them for who they were not.
She watched out for Midgepaw when his mentor, Moorleg, was being too rough on him. She swore to herself that no young cat would be as alone as she had felt, with no adults for support and only her sister by her side.
She leaned on Caterpillarmallow. Her constant. Her mate. Her love. Whose breath never faltered. Who guided Graysong and Needlepelt in the Healer’s den. Who made sure that Flurrypelt and Frostheart were always included. Who made certain that Antlersky was at least civil towards her parents.
Life went on. Life was good, although in a different way than before.
Until the end.
It happened in Leaf-bare, just like all the other tragedies in Antlersky’s life. She was out for a walk, carefully listening and smelling for any prey on the wind.
Listening so carefully for them that she didn’t hear the snowbank give way beneath her.
That she only had time to inhale.
Before.
A brief flash of pain as the spikes pierced her body and everything went dark.
~~~
She opened her eyes.
For the first time in her life, the wind was silent.
Well, technically it was the first time after her life.
Because there were stars in her fur and an unfamiliar mountain in front of her that somehow felt like home.
Antlersky was dead.
She was surprised to find that she wasn’t devastated. She hadn’t wished to die. But now that she had she could accept reality without fighting it.
Maybe because. . .because. . .Stormrush would be there. For the first time in many moons, she could see her mother.
But, more importantly. . .
A cat stepped out onto the mountaintop next to her. A cat with starlit gray tabby fur and a pair of glowing moth wings behind her ear.
“I’ve missed you, Antlersky,” said Rosemaryquake.
Antlersky ran to her sister. She leaned up against her and was surprised to find that they were both solid. “I’ve missed you, too,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry I left you.”
“You had no choice,” Antlersky murmured. It was true. Brightfalcon had left her eldest daughters alone, even though she had still been alive. Even though she could have chosen to try. Antlersky hadn’t been able to forgive that.
With Rosemaryquake, there was nothing to forgive.
“We’re together now,” Antlersky meowed, “that’s all that matters.”
Rosemaryquake nodded and sat down beside her on the mountaintop, looking out at the endless stars.
They were together again. Together, even after the end.
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𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐁𝐄𝐃𝐒, 𝐌𝐈𝐃-𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐀𝐘, 𝟐𝟎𝟒𝟒.
𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 @cordiiceps.
It is in this way that Quino makes himself useful — hunched over the garden beds, fingernails caked in a fine sheen of topsoil, mulch; picking, preening. It is in this way that Quino — even still, surrounded by this decaying world, and it’s deteriorating people — feels normal. Feels at peace. He is grateful, in his own way, that Alexei allows him this luxury. To be of purpose in a way the can also evoke such a personal joy. But, he does not gloat of these little joys nestled between the roots, and scattered across the leaves. Never, and especially not in front of his cruelty.
Were he alone, he’d be humming by now. Filling the silence left behind by the birds, by society. He would prefer the real thing, he thinks, but Quino never dared to bring his walkman to the gardens. Never once had he encountered infected on the clock, but he knew his own luck. Knew the day he did, plugged in and tuned out while attending to the garden, would be the day that changed. The thought makes him exhale, hard, through his nose, smiling silently to himself.
He looks up, meets Nik’s eyes, and offers this smile to him. He breaks the silence, just as he would in his solitude. But this time, with words. “Just like that.” He demonstrates, tearing leaf after leaf of lettuce from the stem, leaving enough distance from the root to encourage a recurring growth. “I use my hands, cause I know what I’m doin’. Been at this for a while now. But uhm -” He discards his example in the collections basket to be later washed, delivered elsewhere, before reaching for a pair of scissors. They are an old thing, once a pretty paisley, he imagined. Now, faded, and struggling at it’s hinges. “You can use these, if it makes you feel more in control.” He takes them by the blade, offers the handles to Nik. “But, I trust you either way.”
He has expressed it before, once, in passing; just how much Quino appreciated Nik’s company. He appreciated any company received in the gardens, help included or not. But Nik’s company was always friendly, always good. Goodness being in short supply, it was something he had come to value. Greatly. But Nik? Nik was good people. Whether he himself believed it or not.
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