#and jonas FUCKING DIED OKAY

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

i could not give any less of a shit about fallout 4 without dissolving into dust but fallout 3 coulda been so cool so im mad about it

#random thoughts #fallout #literally the only thing i like about fallout 4 is nick valentine who is perfection incarnate #but like. so much about fallout 3 is cool on accident #just #first of all the idea of a biracial child being raised by their father who is keeping secrets from them about their birth and mother is #like this could be so coded right. in 'my child is black but im white so im just gonna ignore it' coding. #ESPECIALLY since one of the inhabitants of your vault is an older black woman #her and jonas have AN INFLUENCE on the lone wanderer. growing up. #(btw the lone wanderer's mom is black in-game and if that wasn't meant to be important then dont put it in the game todd) #and jonas FUCKING DIED OKAY #amata in general. she could be so coooool #i went on a whole thing about her where i was writing this whole dialogue i wanted to have with her #it's in my google docs somewhere ill find it and polish it up later ig #fucking. charon??? BUTCH??????? #sorry idgaf about the other companions yet <3 my exposure to this game is very limited #if i cant find my disc in the next week i might just watch a playthrough online

[delusional-dinosaurr]

Not So Sneaky (Lia Walti x Reader)

“Vic please just pass the fucking ball” You whine at your best friend, Victoria Pelova. She chuckles in response and passes it back with a bit of flair. 

“Show off, keep it for the matches, yeah?” You smirk as she elbows you during some 1v1 practice.

“Foul! Ref!” You say rolling around on the floor pretending to be injured, quickly followed by Victoria attacking your ribs, causing you to burst out laughing.

“Alright love birds, we’ve got an important match to prepare for!” Katie helps you up from the ground after your assault from your best friend. Jonas gets you all to rotate partners and eventually you’re paired up with Lia Wälti, who you’ve been quietly crushing on since you signed for the team at the same time as Victoria during the January transfer window, both coming from Ajax. 

“Promise I won’t nutmeg you this time” You joke with Lia as you do your regular training activities. “You better not, I saw what you pulled on Katie earlier” Lia jokes in response, referencing how you nutmegged the co-captain as she was attempting to tackle you earlier on, causing her to be at the end of a lot of jokes so far today.

“Ah, who am I kidding, I can’t resist it, can I?” You wink, going to nutmeg her during your 1v1, with her expertly managing to stop it and successfully nutmegging you in the process. You fake collapsing in shock at how you’d finally been nutmegged by a teammate.

“You…you traitor!” You reach your arm out to Lia as you crawl towards her, as if you are so injured from the ‘embarrassment’ from being nutmegged.

“God you’re so dramatic” She rolls her eyes as she helps you up, instantly you feel the warmth in your body at the contact between the both of you being much closer than you have been before, your chests basically touching. You both stop and are lost looking into each other's eyes for a few moments, until Vic’s cough to your side breaks you out of your trance.

“Was I interrupting something?” Vic raises an eyebrow in your direction suspiciously.

“Nope, I was just helping Y/N up after I finally nutme-” “WOAH! What Lia was saying is that I fell over and she helped me up” You cut in, Lia looks at you even more suspicious than Vic was.

“Okay….weirdo. Y/N are we still going out tonight?” Vic asks you.

“Of course we are, you know I wouldn’t miss out on our Wednesday night date night!” You wiggle your eyebrows suggestively. 

“I’m gonna go get changed, I’ll catch you guys later” Lia rushes off.

“What’s her problem?” Katie walks over and asks, seeing Lia jogging off the pitch.

“No idea, we were just talking about mine and Vics wednesday night date night tonight?” You shrug.

“Y/N you idiot, you’ve been flirting with her and then making you and Vic sound like you’re together?” Katie smacks the back of your head. 

“Wait what? I don’t get it?” You look at her confused.

“Sorry mate, you need to work this out for yourself, not me” Katie jogs off going after Lia.

“It's okay, we're fine, we're fine.” You sigh. 

“Y/N/N maybe it's time you start dropping more hints for her. We can ditch our date night and you can always ask her out instead?” Vic suggests, you tilt your head in confusion. 

“But what about our date nights?” You ask. 

“Y/N get a grip, we can still hang out but you need to make a move” Vic says sternly. You nod and jog to the changing rooms a few minutes later to find Katie walking out giving you a supportive thumbs up. You walk in to see Lia half dressed and just pulling her shirt over her head, you manage to catch a glance at her toned stomach before panicking and turning away. 

“Oh god sorry I didn't mean to walk in on you like this” You panic, visibly flush and flustered. Lia chuckles in response and sits down on the bench, she motions for you to sit in front of her. 

“Okay right, I'm nervous as hell but I just have to get it all out. Lia I, I like you, like a lot. I don't know how it started but I've just been kinda admiring you from afar, no wait that sounded creepy. Okay maybe I did but I just, I'm not good with feelings but… I know I really do have feelings for you” You mumble really quickly, nerves getting the better of you. 

“But… What about Pelova? You seem to be very close” Lia asks with a somewhat sad expression on her face.

“Oh we aren't together, she's not my type anyway” You laugh. 

“Then.. What is your type?” Lia asks suggestively. 

You gulp, feeling a sudden rush of confidence flowing through you. 

“I'd say my type is brown hair… Likes football, plays for Arsenal, is Swiss, wears number 13–” You get stopped by the midfielders lips crashing into yours. It feels as if your body could go completely limp with how breathtaking her kiss feels, finally after all this time pining. After a few minutes you eventually break away. 

“Wow that was…” You say, again with the same flustered face as before. 

“Are you free tonight?” She asks. 

“Yep! Vic made me cancel our date night so I'd finally ask you out” You chuckle earning a glare and a shove in return. 

____

The next morning you wake up with a weight on your chest, Lia’s head resting on it with her hair all over her face. You gently brush her hair out of her face which slowly wakes her up.

“Good morning” You smirk.

“Good morning, I’m sorry if that was a bit much last night” Lia blushes trying to hide her face in her bed covers.

“Lia we literally had a make out session and pizza, it’s not like we had sex on the first date or anything…that’s the third date” You wink, obviously joking.

“God you’re so annoying” She rolls her eyes as she starts getting out of bed, you can’t help but admire her as she stretches, again you find your eyes roaming her body subconsciously until she breaks your focus by moving closer to you.

“You sure you want to wait until the third date?” She says positioning herself on your lap, in her shorts and sports bra.

“Uh…I…Um” You feel your face heating up as the midfielder smirks at you.

“I’m kidding…unless?” She winks, pressing her lips to yours and gently pinning you to the bed. 

____

It's been around six months since you and Lia finally made your relationship official, and yet it was still only you two and your families that knew about the relationship. You both decided to keep it quiet for a while as you didn't want people to know, so that you had time to figure stuff out and make sure you didn't let it have any effect on your games, as well as just having some privacy. 

Luckily all it had done was make you play better and be in a better mood, no one was suspicious until recently, you had a feeling people were noticing the longing looks you gave each other and the way you'd blush more at team events. You knew you needed to tell someone so today was going to be that day. You were driving Vic to training and she spotted something that you clearly didn't hide as well as you thought. 

“Uh… Y/N..? What is that on your neck?” She says poking your very visible hickey on your neck. You instantly blush, having vivid memories of the previous night, hearing the Swiss girl uttering your name all night.

“What are you talking about?” You panic, covering where she is pointing with your hand.

“The hickey Y/N I’m not stupid” She rolls her eyes “No wonder you’ve been less stressed, Y/N/N has been getting laaaaaid” Vic sings.

“Shut up” You groan.

“You gonna tell me who did it, so I can cover this up for you?” She tilts her head at you, motioning with the emergency makeup bag you keep in your car for you and your friends.

“I need you to promise you won't tell anyone” She nods as you pull into the car park, your phone pinging with a message from Lia, which unfortunately is connected to your car.

“One new message from Lia: I got the stuff for dinner tonight! I love you, see you at training x”

“Nevermind you didn’t need to say anything” Vic smirks, giving you a knowing look.

“Uhhhh, me and Lia have just been hanging out?” You say a bit higher pitch than usual.

“You know better than to lie to me Y/N. Why wont you tell anyone?” She sighs at you. You turn the car engine off and sigh, Vic has the makeup brushes at the ready and starts covering your hickey for you.

“Look mate, we were worried it’d change the team dynamic, especially if there’s some weird feelings with her and Caitlin still playing for the same team, and if we get distracted. Basically we’ve had a lot of time privately and it’s been so nice” You ramble.

“Well I don’t think it would or even has changed anything, Caitlin still cares about Lia, but as a friend and I highly doubt there would be any hard feelings y’know? You need to at least tell Jonas or a coach to be safe” She suggests.

“You’re right…” You both get out of your car once she is done applying makeup to your neck, and you head towards the main building, you search around for Jonas and eventually stumble upon him, stuck in conversation with your girlfriend.

“...but what I’m trying to say Jonas is, me and Y/N won’t let it affect how we play or work, if anything I think we’ve improved recently” Lia says.

“Ah Y/N! Great timing, I’m sure you’ve just overheard but Lia told me about your relationship, obviously it’s none of my business but I can tell the difference in how you two have been playing and just in general. Only positive things!” Jonas pats you on the shoulder “I have no issues with it of course, I’m happy for you both for finding each other”.

“Thanks Jonas, means a lot, like really” You give him a hug, the man being somewhat of a mentor to you over the previous year.

“Tell the team when you feel you’re ready. Remember we are a family, we support each other” He says nodding over to the groups of girls in the gym, all getting on with their own thing.

“Yeah maybe we should do it sooner rather than later, no more hiding this” You look at Lia who nods in agreement. You reach out for her hand as you both walk hand in hand into the gym to meet the others, somehow no one saw your intertwined hands. Lia decides to go on a treadmill rather than lift weights with you, so she gives you a kiss on the cheek before walking off. Jen seems to be the only one who spots it and within minutes walks over to you.

“Excuse me, what was that earlier?” Jen looks at you wide eyed.

“What?” You smirk.

“How long has this been going on for then?” She smiles, seeming proud.

“About 6 months, we’ve been pretty private with it and we wanted to make sure we were settled before saying anything” You say.

“Oi did I see Wally kiss you on the cheek? Where’s mine?” Beth comes over and slings her arm over your shoulder.

“Sorry Beth, pretty sure that’s only for her girlfriend” Jen teases.

“Since when?” Beth shouts.

“Why are we yelling over here?” Viv walks over, visibly confused and attempting to hush Beth. Lia takes the opportunity to hop off the treadmill and save you from the commotion. As she gets closer you start smiling over at her.

“Hey beautiful, you looked like you needed rescuing” She smiles reaching for your hand.

“Ah I had it under control, see?” You nod over to the girls you were talking with, who are all now gobsmacked at what they’ve seen and heard.

____

Later on that day you both get ready at Lia’s house, she’s wearing jeans and a crop top with a plaid shirt over the top but not buttoned up. You on the other hand went with a casual hoodie and jeans. 

“Darling, do we really have to go out with the girls tonight?” You groan seeing your girlfriend getting ready. “We could just stay at home…” you continue, trailing your finger from her chest to her abs. 

“Later, if you’re good” she kisses you hungrily and leaves the bedroom with a wink in your direction, as you audibly groan and flop back onto the bed.

“Come on! Our uber has arrived!” Lia yells from the other room.

“You mean Viv?” You chuckle getting your shoes on.

“Of course, who else?” She laughs.

You get into Viv and Beth’s car. You and Beth spend the journey singing in the back of the car whilst Viv and Lia chat at the front. After a short while you eventually park up and all walk to the venue the team had hired for the night. 

You and Lia are still somewhat wary of being affectionate in public, so walk side by side but not hand in hand.

Once you arrive at the club, you get yourself and the others a drink from the bar and return to find everyone crowding around some tables and having their own conversations, you take Beth and Viv their drinks first followed by Lia’s.

“Here you go, gorgeous” You pass her the drink and subtly kiss her cheek, she smiles at you, as you float around, being the social butterfly that you are.

____

A bit later on, after more drinks have been, well drunk, the group are getting rowdier and more daring, literally.

“Katie I dare you to do a backflip off that table” Kyra points over at the table for the Irishwoman to backflip from.

“Nope! Absolutely none of that here” Kim said, patting Kyra on the back with a chorus of boos coming from some of you. Your girlfriend approaches you in the area everyone seems to be dancing in. 

“I miss you” She says pouting. 

“Babe we’re literally at the same party with our friends, I was standing with you like 15 minutes ago” you say quietly. 

“Yeah but I always want to be with you” She frowns.

“Alright if we are still daring people to do shit, I dare Y/N to kiss Vic!” Kyra slurs. 

“I don't think that's a good idea, I've got a cold after all” Vic lies, everyone falling for it. 

“Fuck who else will she kiss then? Gotta get Y/N out there, she’s been single for way too long” Katie jokes as she makes eye contact with Lia “Wally how about you?” She asks with her usual cocky smirk on her face. 

“Sure. It's just a quick peck after all, right?” She smiles. 

“OI! Kissing is too easy, I want a dramatic kiss! Make me believe you're in a relationship or something, I don't know!” Jen pipes up sarcastically, smirking at you after finding out about you both earlier in the day.  You and Lia look at eachother and shrug as if to say ‘fuck it’. 

She leans forward and pulls you in by the hoodie covering your chest. You gulp in response, knowing that you find her even more attractive when she’s being bossy. She passionately kisses you and brings her hands up to the back of your neck whilst you rest yours on her lower back slowly drifting lower.

“Oi you two, save it for the bedroom yeah?” Katie yells to the group, you lift one hand from Lia’s back to raise a middle finger up at Katie hearing a chorus of cheers when you do so. Eventually you break apart, blushing whilst Lia is grinning at your friends who witnessed it. 

“Christ it's like you guys are dating or something” Leah says from the side, giving you a wink and head tilt to follow her. 

“Right, I'm not as dumb as these idiots, how long?” Leah asks you. 

“Around 6 months” You confess seeing a giant grin start to emerge on Leah's face. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, it's just..” She interrupts you.

“Y/N I've had an idea that there was something between you for a little while, and I know it's nice to have privacy and stuff, so I understand” She hugs you, you continue chatting to the side about how you should tell Kim as soon as possible, being the team mum after all. You hear singing get louder as karaoke starts, an idea springing to mind. 

“Wait right here I've got a great idea” You say, patting Leah's shoulders and stumbling off. You yell out to Kim, who's watching the karaoke unfold. 

“Kim, I'm sorry I haven't told you sooner but me and Wally are seeing each other” You blurt out when you get to her. 

“I thought so! You guys seem happy, so I'm happy, ah I feel like a proud parent!” She hugs you tightly. “Have you told many people yet?”. 

“No… But I have an idea on how!” You pat Kim’s shoulders as you walk over to the woman running the karaoke for the team and put in your request, but not for you to sing. When it's your song you walk up to take the microphone from Steph who was just belting Untouched by the Veronica's and hand it to Leah, who nods over at your girlfriend standing alone, watching you. You hear the opening notes to Lover by Taylor Swift as you take Lia's hands into yours on the makeshift dance floor.

“This one goes out to the lovers over there” she points at you and Lia before she starts singing. 

“I love you” You mumble into her ear as you slow dance together, she responds with a loving kiss which has you both gasping for air afterwards. As you break away from your kiss you notice most of the room's eyes are focused on the two of you, knowing looks and shocked ones too, alongside cheering, whistling and the odd “Go on Y/N!”. You avert your eyes from the girls surrounding you in a circle and focus on the beauty in your arms, her eyes sparkling as she looks up at you.

After you finish dancing you're bombarded with questions from teammates, some a little inappropriate and some very sweet. 

“How long has this been going on?” Steph asks. 

“Around 6 months, we kept it quiet in an attempt to not mess with the team dynamic” You say. The questions die out and you eventually get to sit back down in a booth with your girlfriend and some of your teammates. 

“Okay Lia I hate to be the one to ask it… But Y/N is so clumsy how on earth are you able to…have y’know… Seriously” Vic slurs, your face flushing red. 

“Luckily her clumsiness doesn't affect her… Performance” Lia winks at you. Some of the girls are trying to get more details, as you decide to dismiss yourself to get yourself another drink. 

“Y’alright?” Katie asks you at the bar. 

“They're talking about my sex life so I'm here now” You chuckle, tapping your card to pay for your beer. 

“Oh what! Let's go then!” Katie drags you back over to the girls. 

“-but yeah she's so attentive and honestly, the best I've had” Lia finishes her sentence as you slide back in, groaning as they're still talking about sex. 

“Y/N we've heard it all, no need to be shy. Your turn now anyway” Jen winks jokingly, with Alessia cracking up as you slam your head down onto the table. As you lift your head back up you catch Lia yawning and give her the look of ‘home soon?’.

You walk off again to chat with some of the girls to avoid discussing your sex life, and feel your phone vibrate. 

From Lia - 

You have been good today… So how about we go home and I show you something I got for you? 

“Someones getting laid tonight” Leah smirks at your red face.

“What? No it’s just warm in here” You chuckle.

“Bullshit, I can see Lia giving you ‘the eyes’ from over there” Nodding in the direction of your lover, who was indeed giving you the eyes, causing you to look back down at your phone which Leah is also looking at. “Mate, are you stupid? Go home!” She pushes you towards where Lia is sitting.

“Lee this isn’t necessary” You groan approaching your girlfriend.

“Wally take your girlfriend home, she’s being all awkward” Leah chuckles “Have a good night ladies” she winks as she slides away from you both. 

“Right I need to take this one home as she’s a bit too drunk, you guys need a lift?” Viv comes over right on time, you both nod and help her lug Beth back to the car. The short drive eventually ends outside Lia’s house, you say your thanks and goodbyes to the couple as you head into Lia’s house. You shrug off your coat and take off your shoes, but you notice your girlfriend has run upstairs to her bedroom. 

“Oh it’s so on Wally” you mumble to yourself as you jog up the stairs, the girl waiting in her room for you.

“Eager are we?” You smirk going over to her.

“Well I did tell you you’d be rewarded so” She smirks, pushing you firmly down onto your bed. You’re usually the one ‘in charge’ but it seems Lia had a different idea tonight as she tells you to stay still. She slowly removes her jacket, putting on quite the show for you. You try to reach out to help her with her clothes but she slaps your hands away. 

“Ah ah, no touching” She tuts. 

“Right, if you don’t do something soon I’m going to eat you alive” You growl, causing a quiet moan to slip from Lia.

“Well if you weren't already saying that, then you'll definitely say it now” Lia smirks, lifting her shirt up over her head and slowly dragging her trousers down and revealing a new lacy black lingerie set that could easily kill you with how stunning she looks.

“Oh my god” You mutter.

“Now… How about we go back to how you were going to eat me alive?” Lia says suggestively, pushing you down on her bed.

“It’d be my pleasure baby” You smirk. 

____

WE ARE SO BACK! Will be a return to posting a bit more frequently!

#woso x reader #lia walti x reader #lia wälti x reader #lia walti #lia wälti #lia walti imagine #woso one shot #woso imagine

[moregraceful]

KAS, I AM ON MY KNEES.

You can't just write about Siegenthischier royalty AU in your tags without continuing!!!

Okay so I did three of the things on my very lengthy to-do list and drank a cup of coffee and a litre of black tea so let’s do this

FIRST of all, fuck monarchies, there is no divine right of kings, second of all this is MY sexy imagine and EYE want to see Jonas in a crown. 

So Jonas is a crown prince of a country in the style of Luxembourg with a constitutional monarch and representative democracy and the military of Switzerland. This is as much thought as I am willing to put into the politics of this post, thank you 🙏 He’s expected to take over as monarch after his grandpa dies — he’s one of only a few grandchildren but he’s the oldest and his parents died tragically, so it’s basically always been him. He bears it gracefully, always stays the course, never does anything to bring disgrace upon himself or his family, unlike his cousins. Basically perfect and everyone loves him and feels confident that their country will be fine with him, especially as his grandpa gets older and his health starts to fail.

Jonas does his required 2 year military service and then goes to Kings College London for his university education. He’s studying international relations and modern languages (I don’t know how bachelor’s degrees work in Europe so let’s just go with the idea that he is Smart and Studious) but takes philosophy classes when he can because he wants to. Everyone expects him to spend all his time partying with British royalty in London and like he’s supposed to be spending time in the UK to find a wife in one of the many royal branches, but he mostly keeps his head and sticks to hanging out with his classmates. He’s not big on partying or wild nights out at clubs, prefers a normal night out at a pub with classmates or going to football games with his friends. Again he is VERY aware of the pressure on him when he takes the throne in a couple years and he’s not interested in rocking the boat. Better him than any of his dipshit cousins, basically. He loves his country and he won’t fail his people.

ANYWAY, he goes out to a pub one time with some guys from one of his philosophy classes and they’re all complaining about the grades they got on their papers and arguing with Jonas because he got the highest marks despite not even being in the program, that’s so unfair!! And he agrees to buy them a round of drinks “to make up for being smarter than all of you” which no one takes gracefully, but they’re all laughing and it’s a good night out.

Goes up to the bar, it’s crowded. You see where this is going. Guy gets shoved into him, spills beer all over his shirt. It’s Nico. “Oh god,” says Nico. “I am so fucking sorry.”

Jonas isn’t even that bothered because he knows an opportunity to meet someone when he sees it and he’s, well. He’s not stupid. Nico’s cute and flustered and his eyes are very dark. He spends the next fifteen minutes chatting up Nico, who he leans very quickly is an absolute delight and VERY funny, until his classmates start hollering at him across the bar to hurry up with their drinks. Jonas buys the entire bar a round of shots and goes home with Nico.

AND THEN OF COURSE THEIR GREAT ROMANCE BEGINS. Nico is an international student at LSE getting a BSc in Politics and Economics so he can go home to Switzerland and work in the UN or in some related think tank – he did an internship over the summer with Economic and Social Council working on sustainable development in small rural communities in central Europe and he’s VERY excited about the future he’s creating for himself – working hard to help people, being involved in international politics, doing his best to help the world develop into its best self. Jonas finds out very quickly that Nico has SUCH a big heart – for his family and friends, but also his country, and for the world. Nico wants to help people! Jonas is unclear why he chose the UN if he wants to make an immediate difference int he world – Jonas’s country has had to work with UN and he knows how slowly the wheels of change turn. But he won’t crush Nico’s spirit for anything.

They fall in love so fast that it’s actively embarrassing for both of them but man, when you know, you know, right? They meet each other’s friends, they spend so much time together for the next three years. Nico knows who Jonas is bc a) politics nerd, b) hard to miss the bodyguard trailing them home that first night. Nico spends approximately five minutes being starstruck over it that first time and he gets over it because it’s Jonas.

They don’t spend summers together and they keep it pretty tightly wrapped because if they do get engaged and married, it’s going to be HUGE news for the monarchy when Jonas and Nico aren’t able to have children of their own. No one even knows Jonas is gay except his brother – and Nico. There are always rumors of course, but most people who pay attention to such things just think Jonas is probably secretly dating a Belgian princess. Jonas misses Nico so much during the summer though, beause Nico sends him updates all the time on what���s he’s doing, and meanwhile Jonas is doing royal stuff. Watching anxiously as his grandfather’s health declines. Meets heads of states who slyly introduce their daughters. Is forced to go to a dance class, which kills him, bc Nico is literally doing micro-economics stuff in Romania and having a blast and Jonas just wants to be with him so bad, anywhere in the world. He just wants to be at Nico’s side, always.

Their education is wrapping up, it’s a couple nights before graduation, and Jonas and Nico are MUST MAKE A DECISION. Do they stay together? Do they break up? They can’t keep it under wraps as easily once they graduate. It’ll be harder. Jonas will start taking a more active role in his country’s politics; Nico has multiple job offers lined up already. Jonas confesses to Nico how lonely he’s been growing up, how isolated he’s always felt being told he’ll be king, how empty the thought of being king is, how devoid of meaning his life feels as it rolls out in front of him, decades of isolation and loneliness like he felt growing up. He loves his country and his people and he knows they love him but – it’s a terrible thought to do it alone. He would like to be able to see Nico sometimes. He can’t face the rest of his life with nothing. It doesn’t have to be permanent, it doesn’t have to be big, but he doesn’t want to NOT be with Nico.

Nico’s like, okay! Let’s get married. Jonas is like, well that is not REALLY what I meant, but Nico’s already kissing him so okay, they’re getting married. Jonas calls his brother and is like, hey, I need dad’s ring. his brother, who knows all about Nico bc Jonas got extremely drunk last summer when they were at the lakehouse hiding from their cousins and told his brother all about Nico, just laughs. Sends an overnight courier with both their parents’ rings. Jonas gives his dad’s ring to Nico the next afternoon, who looks so happy he’ll burst.

They go out to a pub that night to spend some time with friends and maybe they’re a little too cosy because, hello, they just got engaged?? And the British tabloids, who always have a couple people trailing Jonas these days as he graduates, because they’ve figured out there is definitely SOMEONE in Jonas’s life, just have not figured out who, catch Jonas and Nico in a very quietly intimate moment through a window. Dig up as much info on Nico as they can. Publish it. The story explodes.

Jonas basically has to go IMMEDIATELY home, skip his graduation, and have a series of the worst conversations in the world with various royal advisors, various politicians, and, most awful of al, his grandfather, who is shattered that a) Jonas is gay (no heir) and b) Jonas didn’t TELL HIM he was gay so he couldn’t support him (he loves Jonas), and c) Jonas got engaged without even talking to him first (THEY ARE A ROYAL FAMILY.)

Meanwhile Nico graduates without Jonas in the crowd :( weh

Things are a liiiiiittle rocky for a couple weeks until Nico can make it to Made Up Not!Luxembourg for a press conference. Jonas is so glad to see him that he could collapse and they have the LONGEST hug in the airport that unfortunately so many airport employees take pictures of. But like it’s Jonas! The whole country loves Jonas! And all they know about Nico is what press offices have been able to dig up on him! And Nico seems like a nice guy, they think? He’s smart and he’s engaged in the world? Someone found a photo of him volunteering at a youth hockey camp in Switzerland and he looked like he was kind?

The press conference is extremely well attended not just by local press but by foreign press and Jonas is so glad he speaks so many languages and he considers it a blessing that Nico is Swiss and speaks three languages. It’s a mess. So many questions all at once. The media coordinator is hollering at them all to shut up. The whole thing is being livestreamed on local TV AND the internet. Who is Nico? Since when is Jonas gay? Why is he marrying someone who isn’t royal and isn’t from their country? Is his grandfather ashamed of his decision or his sexuality? What are Nico’s intentions for the crown? Do they think Nico is equipped to rule alongside Jonas.

“Nico will be a good leader for our people,” says Jonas, when the press relations people threaten to shut the entire conference down if people don’t give Jonas a chance to speak. “He has a degree in politics and economics from London School of Economics and has done extensive work with the United Nations.”

He takes Nico’s hand. The ring on Nico’s hand is very visible in the light of the cameras. Jonas is wearing a ring too – it’s much plainer than Nico’s, but it belonged to Nico’s grandfather. Nico gave it to him last night after they got back to the palace, when they got a quiet moment to themselves in between the chaos.

“And I love him very much,” Jonas says simply.

Nico smiles so brilliantly at him in that moment that no camera in the world can miss how much he loves Jonas. When Jonas looks back, the whole world sees the same.

FIN!!

I love them….

#writing 1.8k of siegenthischier not!fic was not what i intended to do with my afternoon HOWEVER. prince jonas is so important to me!!!!!!! #grammarly almost blew up my apartment while i was writing this and i chose to ignore all of it so i apologize #the way i just went back 17 pages in my njd tag CONVINCED i had a siegenthischier tag...but i did not.... #i mean it is a siegenthischier world and we're all just living it #acrossbrazenskies #cage replies #aria 👑 #unfortunate birdcage fanfictions

[keldae]

On a small college campus, it didn't take long for rumours to start flying. Naturally, Jonas was the instigator of such things – a little word to Mako that his roommate was seeing a pretty girl, and it became campus news.

Somehow, Xaja didn't notice this. 

If she'd been aware of the rumours starting to swirl around her dorm, perhaps she would have been a little less eager to go visit her cute neighbour across the hall. But in her moment of panic, her dismayed screech stifled as her laptop bluescreened, her mind went fairly blank.

“Shit!” Kira exclaimed as she eyed her roommate's computer and the Blue Screen Of Death. “Weren't you in the middle of a paper, too?”

“Yes,” Xaja all but wailed. “And it's the one for Doctor Shan. Fuck me, I need this thing functioning!”

Kira had a thought of someone else who'd probably appreciate that particular invitation more, but kept it to herself. Xaja wouldn't appreciate the teasing about their cute neighbour while in such a moment of panic. “‘Kay, we have a couple neighbours across the hall who are in computer science. Hopefully one of them is home.”

“God, I hope so,” Xaja groaned, unplugging her malfunctioning laptop and getting to her feet. She hurried out of her and Kira's room, knocking frantically on Theron and Jonas’ door. Please, one of you be home… and please, neither of you with ‘company’... She had no interest in interrupting Jonas if he was in the middle of ‘entertaining’ a girl, and the mere idea of Theron being with someone else made a spark of jealousy bloom in her chest.

The door cracked open, and Theron himself poked his head out, confusion in his amber eyes. A second later, he smiled. “Hey there. What's up?”

“Oh, thank God you're here!” Xaja quickly said. “Help!”

Theron's brow creased in a frown. “What's up–?” Xaja turned her bluescreened computer to face him, and his eyes widened. “Oooh shit. Okay, yeah, I can probably fix this. Gimme.” He took the laptop out of Xaja's hands and retreated into the room, holding the door open for her to follow him inside. “Take a seat, this might take a while. Sorry about the mess.”

“I can excuse almost any mess,” Xaja said, relief making her knees weak as she took a seat on the bed Theron pointed to. “I've got two younger brothers, and you're saving my sanity along with my computer.”

Theron shot her a grin. “Okay, yeah, you get it then. Hang tight.” He set the laptop down on his desk and quickly took a seat in front of it, pushing his own computer out of the way. “What were you doing when it died?”

“Working on a paper for the guest lecturer Professor Din brought in this week, and listening to music in the background,” Xaja answered, anxiously watching as Theron forced her computer to a hard restart. “Nothing too strenuous.” She looked up as the door to the shared bathroom opened and Jonas stepped out, yawning. “Hey,” she said in greeting.

Jonas paused, looking back and forth between Xaja and Theron. “Am I interrupting anything?” he asked, a slow grin on his face. “I can go…”

“Nothing like that,” Theron growled out, although Xaja noted his ears were starting to turn red. “I'm tech support today.” He pressed a key, booting into what Xaja thought was the BIOS of her laptop. “Okay, baby, what's going on with you…” he murmured.

“Tech support?” Jonas asked, tilting his head as he sat down on his bed.

“Blue Screen Of Death,” Xaja answered. “And I have a paper due tomorrow for Doctor Shan!” She didn't notice Theron do a slight double-take at the mention of the guest lecturer.

Jonas winced in sympathy. “Worst timing! Isn't she that guest speaker Professor Din brought in this week?”

“The very same,” Xaja confirmed. “And she's rewarding a bursary for the best paper, and I could really use that bursary…”

“No pressure,” Theron absently said, still fussing with the BIOS of Xaja's laptop. “I'll get your computer back up and cooperating. Don't you worry.”

“Pretty sure he'll put in a good word for you with Doctor Shan too,” Jonas added with a grin. “If he ever accepts that invitation of hers to go for lunch.”

Xaja paused, frowning. “Why would Doctor Shan be inviting you for lunch, Theron?”

Theron looked up from the laptop to scowl at Jonas (who just grinned cheerfully back), then sighed. “She, uh… she's my bio-mom.”

Xaja felt her eyes widen comically. “Doctor Shan is your mom?”

“What, you never connected ‘Theron Shan’ with ‘Doctor Satele Shan’?” Jonas asked with a smirk. 

“In all fairness, ‘Shan’ is a super common name,” Theron pointed out. “And I don't think I look a ton like her.”

“Hmmm.” Xaja looked at Theron (or rather, at the back of his head and shoulders), putting the mental image of his face beside the memory of Doctor Shan's. “She mentioned she had a son attending here, but she didn't say it was you…”

“Our relationship is… complicated,” Theron admitted. “She didn't come back in the picture until I was in high school – my grandfather raised me. She was too busy with all her international work to do more than send birthday and Christmas gifts for most of my childhood.”

“... I feel like I just broached a sensitive subject,” Xaja slowly said. “Sorry – I didn't realize it was a touchy subject.”

Theron shrugged. “You didn't know. Don't get me started on my bio-dad – he didn't know I existed until last year.”

“That was a whole thing,” Jonas agreed. “Nice guy, your dad, but he low-key intimidates me. So does your mom, come to think of it. How did you not inherit ‘mildly intimidating’ from either of your parents?”

Theron flipped Jonas off without looking at him. “I swear I'll sign you up for some obscure fetish email list again.”

“Rude.” Jonas stood up, dramatically throwing a hand over his brow. “I can tell when I'm not wanted.”

“Unless you're helping fix this bluescreen,” Theron growled out, “kindly fuck off with your helpful commentary?”

“Fine, then I will. Maybe I'll go out for lunch with your mom instead.” Jonas pulled his shoes on and started heading for the door. “Since her only son doesn't seem interested in seeing her…”

“You are not going out for lunch with my mother!” Theron snapped. “Can't you go find a freshie to hit on or something?”

“You spoil all my fun,” Jonas complained. “Xaja, tell him he's a killjoy!”

“Don't you go dragging me into this!” Xaja yelped, looking back and forth between Jonas (who looked entirely too pleased with this situation) and Theron (who had turned to give Jonas a murderous glare). 

“Come on,” Jonas cajoled. “Doctor Shan's hot, isn't she?”

“Theron's being nice enough to fix my computer,” Xaja retorted. “Of course I'm going to side with him – no hitting on his mom! Besides, Doctor Shan isn't my type.”

Theron twisted around in his chair to give Xaja a grin, one that made her heart race a little bit. “Knew I liked you for a reason,” he said, winking at her before turning back to the laptop.

Jonas dramatically sighed and sauntered toward the door. “You two are made for each other. I'm gonna go find something to do – have fun!”

Not wanting to admit how her heart sped up even more at Jonas’ comment about her and Theron being made for each other, Xaja watched as the other student left, then looked back at Theron. “If you decide to strangle him, I can help hide the body. I watch enough true crime shows...”

A snorted laugh came from the computer. “I'll bring the shovel and tarps, you get the ropes and scout out a good location to dump him. But the first priority is fixing your computer. We can plot murder after.”

Xaja grinned, then got up from Theron's bed, stealing Jonas’ desk chair and dragging it over to sit beside him. “Sorry if I'm interrupting your own studying with this.”

“Don't worry about it,” Theron quickly assured her. “I'd rather be doing you a favour than working on Doctor Trant's coding project.” He shot her a grin. “I still owe you one for letting me sleep on your floor the other week.”

“We're even now,” Xaja laughed. “At least until the next time Jonas kicks you out for the night.”

“Which will hasten his demise,” Theron muttered. “Okay, I'm going to run a couple of processes that'll take some time, but should recalibrate the glitch that gave you the BSOD…”

For a second, Xaja thought she could quite literally kiss Theron for fixing her computer. But wait, that would be entirely too forward of her to do that. He hadn't said anything that made her think he was interested in her in that way – and a handsome, charming, endearingly awkward guy like him? There was no way he was single. No, kissing him was entirely out of the question. So she instead settled for beaming at him. “You're a literal lifesaver, Theron. Thank you!”

The grin she got back sent butterflies rushing through her stomach. “Anytime.”

***

Jonas barely waited for Kira's “Yeah?” after he knocked on her door before letting himself into the room across the hall, inelegantly flopping into what had to be Xaja's desk chair. The taller redhead looked up from her textbook. “Theron gets to be the hero of the day? Or is he gonna make Xaja actually cry for her computer?”

“Theron's got an uncanny touch with making BSODs fix themselves. I'm sure he'll get Xaja's laptop fixed up. Maybe she'll kiss him out of gratitude and he'll figure out she likes him.” Jonas grinned impishly at Kira's snort. “I'm a closet romantic at heart, what can I say?”

“You're also delusional. I've known Xaja long enough to know she's so chicken with making moves on cute guys – and she definitely thinks he's cute.” Kira smirked. “Unless Theron charges for his tech support in kisses or dates, she'll never make a move on him.”

Jonas groaned. “And Theron doesn't want to girlfriend-zone a girl he likes as a friend, even if he's pining for her. Maybe I should threaten to hit on her if he doesn't make a move…”

“I think they'd both kill you,” Kira laughed. “I'll keep trying to encourage her to flirt with him. He can't be so oblivious that he misses a pretty girl hitting on him, right?”

“You haven't known Theron long enough if you think that.” Jonas sighed, then dug his phone out of his pocket and texted Thexan. <Can you be a creep for a second?>

Thexan's response came back a minute later. <Whyyyy…?>

<Left Theron and Xaja alone in our room, wanna know if anything's happening.>

<... You're asking me to go listen for sex noises from the bathroom? Are you for real?>

<Come on, I know you're as invested in these two idiots as I am!>

Thexan's response took a few minutes longer. <Invoked ‘older twin’ rights and made Arcann do it. He says ‘fuck you’, and also he heard nothing but Theron trying to explain computer shit to Xaja.>

Jonas sighed in annoyance at his oblivious (or chicken-shit) roommate. <Thanks.> That done, he looked up at Kira and shook his head. “Well, so much for leaving them alone. The twins didn't report anything happening that they heard.”

“You planning on just hanging out in here while waiting for those two to be done?” Kira asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Nope. I'm going to utilize some drastic measures.” Jonas stood back up. “Doctor Shan is still getting meals at the cafeteria with the rest of faculty, right?”

“Yeeeeeessss?” Kira slowly answered, tilting her head.

“Excellent.” Jonas grinned and turned for the door. “Don't tell Theron, but I'm gonna get his mom involved in this.”

“Doctor Shan is Theron's mom?” Kira blinked, then shrugged. “Yeah, okay, I can see it.” She looked over at Jonas as he started opening the door. “You know he's gonna kill you if he finds out, right?”

“What he doesn't know won't hurt me,” Jonas called back, waving over his shoulder and smirking as he left the room. “Toodles!"

“... Did you just say ‘toodles’?” Kira asked incredulously as the door closed behind Jonas, saving him from having to answer her. He chuckled, then started sauntering down the dorm hallway. Doctor Shan was a very diplomatic sort, from what he'd heard and seen of her. Maybe she could help drop Theron some subtle hints.

And if not… well, this would still be entertaining as hell for Jonas, and the rest of the dorm.

#kel writes #theron/xaja #swtor #college!AU #theron shan #xaja #jonas balkar #in which Jonas is not nearly as helpful as he pretends he is #but he definitely ships it #so does everyone else on campus #mutually pining idiots #xaja is oblivious #BSODS: unintentional wingmen

[horrorsequel]

KYLE DO NOT READ THIS VENTURE BROS SPOILERS

Sorry saw image of Malcolm and blacked out cos like okay. He found out uh his dad was a robot and then fucking immediately watched that robot die. Huh whuh and never said shit abt it. I’m fucking fine and normal for sure I definitely am not going to be thinking abt this so much that I already started writing aNOTHER fic last week to deal with it. Cos I’m fine.

God I’m so fucking cringe ass …28 year old writing fanfic. About cartoons. Ugh kills dies maims

ANYWAY fucking uh okay. Dad was a robot dad was turned into a robot by the dad of the guy u spent ur entire career trying to thwart. All this shit started before u were even born. There was no choice for u. Ventures are your enemies ventures were ur dads enemies Jonas killed ur dad BOTH TIMES. and can u even feel anything about it except the same thing you always felt which is just wishing u had known him. But u never did. How much do u remember. Ur life with him was so short and he wasn’t a,ways around and u lost him in such a traumatic incident that also took ur mother and it’s like how much of ur life before that got blown out of ur brain by that. It would have been hard to remember anyway HOW MUCH DO U REMEMBER MALCOLM. what other relatives were there? Like after the summer of the monarchs. U got ur money but like what else did u get? Cos the house was fucked up lol how long was it abandoned. And like who took care of him. Staff? Did he have a little boy king lord of the manor thing going?

Idk I’m freaked and fricked we never hear Malcolm talk abt his mom and he says very little abt his dad and it’s all very sort of like… does he talk abt him like that cos he doesn’t like thinking abt him for the obvious reasons so it’s easier to put emotional distance there or does he talk abt him like that cos there really is emotional distance cos he doesn’t fucking remember the guy anyway so who cares

And then there’s uh. “Daddy?”

And that’s too much. I want to throw up. His dad… his daddy. He was so little. AUGH KMS why do I give a shit.

Idk I like the monarch a lot. I don’t wanna whump him or whatever I know it’s maybe a little annoying to think so hard abt the hidden inner thoughts and emotions of a silly little guy esp when his main thoughts and emotions are all defined by trying to fuck up the life of a bald idiot but yeah. Idk family stuff always fucks me up hence why I got into vbros in the first place.

#my vbros tag

[the-lil-exorcist]

Numb to the Feeling|| Solo

TIMING: A couple of days after To Know Death LOCATION: The Ballard's back Porch. SUMMARY: Lil and Jameson have a heart to heart.  CONTENT WARNINGS: Parental Death Tw, Sibling Death (implied) Tw, Alcoholism Tw (Alcohol used for coping)

Lil wasn’t doing well, leaning on her back porch steps, her head leaning on the post as a hand was clutching a half-empty bottle of whiskey she was taking sips out of watching the quiet night. 

Her mom was dead. Even if the others' fate wavered for the moment, her mom was dead. June Ballard, who never had a bad word to say to anyone, who loved with her whole heart was dead. She died trying to save her children, and Lil didn’t know where she was anymore. 

She was dead and Lil was ruinous.  

Hell she couldn’t even look at herself in the mirror anymore without remembering how much she looked like her. It was almost mocking in a way, that she should look so much like the woman who wasn’t there. She wondered if this was what people who didn’t believed in ghosts thought of when someone said they looked haunted. 

She sat there awhile, not wanting to face anyone. The urge to run and hide was strong and only matched by the fact she knew she couldn’t. 

“There you are,” She heard a soft lilting voice say the tall man crouching down to look at her. She didn’t turn her head to see Jamie, but she could feel his eyes on her. She didn’t look up at his face, not wanting to see pity or anything else. It was quiet for a moment as he decided what he needed to do.

“Move you’re too little to take up all that space,” He huffed tapping at her leg until she scooted over grabbing the bottle from her hand before she could protest. “Really? Jim Beam - You’re breaking my heart over here, Lil’ Lady.” She snorted despite herself - something that seemed to encourage the man who poked at her cheek taking a swig of the whiskey anyway. “Christ - I’ll get you a bottle of Jameson when you have a breakdown. Okay? It’s what was in the house. Also stop fucking calling me that.” 

There was a chuckle from Jamie, something not as light as normal. He was examining her, she could tell his green eyes trained on her face trying to see the bits of her she was trying to hide. 

It was annoying, but Lil couldn’t even begin to protest. Not really. Besides Jonas, Jamie had been a constant in her younger life, and one of the only people outside her family she could never seem to push away. Girlfriends, Friends - hell even her own family to some extent she had managed to push back. To tell them not to come in, do not disturb.

And yet here he was sitting waiting for her to try again. The same way she had tried with her brother texting him that he should leave if he wanted too. 

There was quiet before Lil spoke, a silence that seemed filled with a patient waiting. She knew that he wouldn’t speak. “I - appreciate everything you’ve been doing, Jamie but - you shouldn’t be around here anymore. You should go back to Boston now that Jonas is feeling better. I - don’t want you to be pulled into this too. Besides, I know you're huffy about having to stay around so I mean if anything it’ll be good to leave right? Don’t need to keep annoying you for no reason.” It was what he had been waiting for, Lil trying to distance herself again. She was good at that, being everyone’s darling and no one’s daughter. Someone who was easy to call on when you needed help, but not a person who would reach out herself. It always annoyed him, the wall she put in between herself and anyone that wasn’t directly blood related, but it was one that he had figured out long ago what it was. She was scared. She was scared and she was trying to burn bridges so he’d go. 

Searching for something Jamie was quiet for a moment taking another swig. 

“Well I’m not leaving you now,” He said with a sigh messing up her hair fondly frowning when she didn’t protest. “Just because your fucking annoying Lil, doesn’t mean you’re gonna get away with pushing me away. Stop it. I’m staying and that’s final. Now tell me what’s really going on.” 

She paused and sighed a trembling in her words as she said, “I don’t think I’m going to make it out of this Jamie. I have a bad feeling about all of this.” It was something she wouldn’t talk about with Jonas - a feeling of fear strong and sharp. It was a weakness she didn’t want to fester in her but under the anger it was there a twinge of realizing that she could die too. She was only mortal. 

It felt silly that now that she feared for her life, given her life up to now she had spent about 28 years acting like she couldn’t die. She spent her time knowing death was just across the way and yet only now did she really truly think about the consequences of it. If she died, Jonas would be alone. If she died she’d never find her mom and possibly the others and bury them properly. If she died this bitter anger was for nothing. She didn’t prove anything. 

Maybe that was it. Before now, Lil didn’t fear death because she didn’t realize she had something left to prove. That she wanted something - She wanted to finally feel like it was worth it. The ideas spinned in her brain as she sat there quietly waiting for a laugh or a snarky remark. If she was really unlucky she’d see some sort of pity that would break her. Tell her that it was true. That she really did all of this for nothing.  

“You will, Lil,” He finally said softly sighing and wrapping his arm around her shoulder for a moment. “You’re not going to be alone again, and you’re not going to get away with running again. That’s true. You’re going to have to stay and face this fear, but you will. You will fucking live and if I have to drag you back from hell so be it.” He said, feeling how his friend trembled under his hand he said gently, “You’re going too because Jonas needs you. You are going too because deep down you know that you can’t quit and walk away. You’re going to do it, because your a fucking pain in the ass and too stubborn to die.” There was a pause, a shuddering of a breath that Jamie chose to ignore as he felt her taking back the bottle of whiskey, a smile playing on his lips. “There you go, Lil. See? And I’ll stay around town until all this is sorted. Hell, I’ll even help your sorry ass on the exorcisms.” 

Lil took another sip the whiskey finally biting again and sighed nodding lightly. The anger still filled her mouth making everything feel harsh and haunted, but it would do. She would get either peace or revenge in the end, and she was still not sure about afterwards.

“You’re funeral,” She eventually muttered not unkindly as she heard Jamie chuckle - something loud and boisterous as he clapped her back. 

“There she is - the little terror of the New England area. Come on let's go get you drunk and less sad -, lil lady,” He said narrowly missing a slap to the back of his head as chuckled and moved to pull her back onto her feet. 

#all that is shown to me; paras #look at how my tears ricochet; solo #sibling death tw #parental death tw #Alcoholism tw

[abernant]

hihihiii . since i got to tell u abt enstars do u wanna talk abt oxenfree since all i know abt it is that someone has blue hair and pronouns

I WOULD TY MWAH KISSING YOU ok so . blue hair & pronouns is the protagonist her names alex the game opens with her on a boat trip w her childhood friend ren + her recently acquired stepbrother jonas to edwards island 4 a yearly quote unquote bash on the beach that ppl do but literally no one else went except them + two girls (nona and clarissa) and since they caught the last ferry theyre stuck together 4 the night on an essentially deserted island . FUN . neways we learn through exposition that a) throughout the years ppl have reported freaky shit involving caves on the beach with radio frequencies & they brought a radio 2 test them out and b) the islands oldest living resident (maggie adler) died about three days prior to their visit and c) there was a military submarine called the kanaloa that was sunk in wwii that killed 97 people inside OKAY . moving on . theyre playing truth or slap (truth or dare but no dares and u get 2 slap some1 if they lie) stuff happens ren has a crush on nona etc etc clarissa chooses 2 be a cunt and ask why alexs parents divorced & we learn that alex had a brother named michael who died + throughout other flashbacks in the game we see that clarissa and michael were dating, he drowned on a lake trip with alex who was unable to help since she cant swim & clarissa blames her 4 his death its a whole thing they make me insane MOVING ON . CAVES in the caves you do some radio signal bullshit BAM theres . some fucked up floating triangle that speaks in radio voice clips . & is kind of possessing them as vessels . occasionally theres time loops bc theyre trying 2 keep them there as long as possible 4 the possession 2 be successful . FUN ok the triangle is actually a dimensional rift connected 2 all of the people who died on aforementioned submarine that were separated from existence in a void outside of time and space theyre called the sunken okok shenanigans occur everyones on every corner of the island clarissa is the most posessed throughout & kills herself twice but dw shes fine ANYWAYS . after much plot they find maggie adlers plans 4 closing the rifts since she was part of the reason the submarine was sunk in the first place & had been studying them they have 2 cross over to the other side of the rift & tune the radio from there BUT while shes there the ghosts try 2 bargain with alex that theyll spare her & her friends if she lets them have clarissa therefore erasing her from existence & its either that or have that happen 2 Alex herself and then the ending is determined by the player there r several different endings & then at the end when alex is recounting how everything ended how ppl are doing after the island etc etc theres a glitch thing that happens whenever theres a time loop & she starts talking abt how she needs 2 catch the ferry and pick up jonas the whole game is a loop in itself WOO ok . anyways i loveeeee the characters in this game theyre so . teenagers & i love how like !! theyre all trapped by grief alex and clarissa are stuck in this endless antagonism bc thwyre both grieving the same person the sunken persist bc theyre grieving their own lives that were cut short & theres this scene at the end right b4 alex has 2 make the final choicethats just !!!!! the parallels !!!!!!!!! explodes !!!!!!!!!! uhhhh i love this game its 7yrs old now she is like a child to me . heartemoji

#asks #THIS IS PROBS SO INCOHERENT IT IS LATE & SO MUCH STUFF HAPPENS . BUT YEAH <3 #march

[alwayskvetching]

23, 27, 28, 11?

23) what's your favorite historical song or song containing historical references?

bc of my love for the horatio hornblower series, "spanish ladies" has a special place in my heart 💕

27) what's your favorite historical "what if..." scenario?

what if that dumbfuck columbus didn't sail to so-called north america and the Indigenous people here didn't get genocided and they were the ones in charge of caring for this land instead of the dumb united states

28) do you have a favorite "dream team" of historical figures living at the same time in a specific area of history?

okay I'm not entirely sure what this question means? I really don't know how to answer it...

11) have you ever participated in reenactment? what was it like?

I did! my dad hand-sewed my clothes. I had a shift, a dress, a pocket with embroidery done by a cousin or aunt bc I couldn't do it myself (unwed girls wore them outside their dress to show off their embroidery skills), moccasins, a cap, socks, a couple sunhats, and wooden shoes (never wore those. could have, but they were too clunky. our historical selves probably would have worn them bc dutch people in pennsylvania). I wanted stays so badly, but my dad never made/bought them for me and he quit shortly after I became old enough for them. we were in the 7th pennsylvania (a revolutionary war regiment), and Jonas and I were camp followers so we had to be poor which I was unhappy about bc I wanted a fancy dress. we did most of our events with the 3rd new york, the regiment my friend Alissa was in. she had stays and real shoes 😂 there was a boy a year(?) older than me in our regiment named Brogan. for Brogan's first battle, Alissa and I convinced him to smash berries on his face so he would look bloody 😂 at another event, it was horrendously hot outside but this place had like historical themed buildings so I got to sit inside in the air conditioning drinking lemonade with ladies way fancier than I was 😂 in the battle at that event, all of the soldiers who died in that battle staggered off into the shade bc it was fucking hot except for my dad who was the only one to die in the sun lmaoooooo

[golbrocklovely]

Have a wonderful and safe time watching the jonas brothers. Sing along, cheer loudly and have the best time ever! Ngl, little jealous even if I'm irritated at joe jonas's asshattery at the moment. The music is sooooo good though.

i had a really good time at the concert :)

but if i might be so bold as to defend joe jonas..... or maybe not defend him, but the situation at hand/just give my general opinions.

i had thought about saying some stuff on twitter, bc i do have a jonas brothers stan twitter, but the fans on there are like… extra annoying in a way i wasn't expecting lol

i think this is a situation that we should all know ZERO about. idk who's team is leaking what, idk which one of them has someone in their inner circle that is leaking stuff for shits and gigs, but it truly has to stop.

it's sad enough that a marriage is ending, but there are two very young kids involved. hell joe and sophie were so private at one point that we don't even really know the name of their second kid. we rarely see their faces except the couples times either parent has taken them out in public (bc yes, prior to joe being paparazzied the day after the divorce was announced with his kids, that everyone deemed was a pr move/him calling them on himself, he and SHE has been photographed with them before. if you wanna argued he called the paps on himself, whatever. idc.).

all of the rumors that have swirled about sophie did not come from joe or his team, just inside sources, which basically anyone could be as long as they are six degrees of kevin bacon away from him (if not way more). he denounced all the rumors, both on his insta and at a concert where he literally said "if it didn't come from these lips, don't believe it". i personally believe he should have denounced things faster or more aggressively, but him and the rest of the jb crew have always been like snc - pretend drama doesn't exists and hope it just dies down.

but now sophie, who has been a private person for a long time, is going out of her way to say a lot of public things via her ppl and idk if i like that. part of it just feels like petty revenge, and it could very well be. and i get it, the rumors made her sound shitty, so i would get why she would tell the public that she didn't find out about the divorce until we all did and that joe is abducting the kids by not giving her their passports so she can take them back home with her. but let's listen to reality for a moment: first off, the kids are now with her in the US. they had been with joe for like three months while she was off working. second, joe physically can't allow the kids to leave bc he would be against the court order he made in florida where he filed for divorce bc he wants the judge in florida to create a plan so that the kids can see both him and sophie 50/50. but it sounds a lot worse when it sounds like he took the kids and won't let them go back home with mom, even tho they've lived a majority of their lives in the US. if you have an issue with the legality of it all, okay that's fine. but shitting on joe bc he won't break the law to look nice don't make no fucking sense. also i don't believe whatsoever that she found out at the same time we did about the divorce. unless joe hacked her instagram, no one forced her to post the same announcement about it as him.

i think the main problem is that this is becoming fandom drama and it's way more serious than that. this isn't some silly internet feud that went too far or some dumb beef between two random celebs. this is a family that is falling apart and ppl want to randomly throw taylor swift in there bc "omg soph is such a queen for hanging out with joe's ex" or whatever. like dear god touch grass, holy shit. i don't think either one of them are acting like an adult should. you have kids, keep all that shit private. i shouldn't know about your divorce as it's happening.

#ask #personal #this got really long sorry about that lol #like i love joe but i also can admit he's not acting the best in this scenario. but neither is she now.

[universalmeaning]

Tangina mo Jonas sinira mo pagka tao ko. Grabe mo kami lokohin. You fucking two face coward son of a bitch! I fucking hate you! I cant believe the bullshit that you pull through, crying in front of me and nag histerical ka infront of everyone dahil sa akin. Tapos malaman laman namin na okay relasyon mo? Putang ina ka. Ive never met someone as crazy as you. Tangina, di ko man nga na isip sarili ko, kasi awang awa ako sayo.

[ahshitikeepreadingfanfics]

Leading the Pack Chapter 2

Ok this is just the beginning. But it’s something to add into it. I promise I’ll do more. I’ll have more time once I move in the next few weeks. I promise. I swear.

“She won’t get out of bed Mic, she hasn’t left her hotel room. Hell. Her bloodhound came and got me. She hasn’t eaten in days. It’s like she died. Not Ruben.”

You can hear your friend say outside your bedroom door. Your lucky that his Hero Agency booked you a hotel that allows your dogs to free roam in the large almost apartment like space. He sounds so tired.

Maybe he should be like you. Sit in bed. Sleep for so many hours you barely know what the date is.

“Let yourself rot”

“It’s your fault”

“He should have remained close. You could have stopped his death”

“Ruben is dead because of your mistakes not anyone else’s”

Those thoughts are all that have gone through your head the last three days since Ruben died. You have now seen that it was never the young blonde hero’s fault. It’s all yours. Only yours. You should have kept him close. He was the oldest. He was your right hand. The ground was unstable. Why did you not keep them all close.

You feel the pit bull at your feet move. Most likely to get up to go out.

But the weight on the bed shifts, he’s moving up right beside you.

He lays next to you and just looks at you. Warm brown eyes showing concern and some boredom of no walks or missions or patrols. Just laying in the dark room with the duvet pulled to your chest.

The grief is like Ruben is sitting on your chest.

You can’t even breathe.

You look to your hero costume and sigh

Starting to cry once more.

There is a soft knock at your door.

“Hey kid, can I come in? Please? I didn’t bring mic with me this time so no ear bleeding” EraserHead states softly, trying to get you to at least say something. Or maybe eat. He doesn’t know quite yet if you have eaten.

The tears are wiped by the back of your hand. You get up and grab yourself a tissue to blow your nose and as you sniffle a small “come in” Jona jumps from his position on the bed. You know ambers been bothering Eraser all day. He hasn’t left your apartment since the day he and mic dropped you off. He only left to go to his own hotel room to shower. For a man who likes cats wayyy to much he does relatively well with your pack of dogs.

The door creeks open slowly. Aizawa comes in with takeout from a small Thai Place down the street. The scent of Coconut rice and Cashew Chicken fill your nose.

“How are you doing?” EraserHead asks his voice low and calm like you were a deer who would get scared and jump away back into your bed.

“It’s my fault.” You state harshly. Angered at yourself.

“You and I both know it’s no one’s fault truly. Bakugo was found to not have caused the landslide. It was a natural disaster. The villains who took advantage of that are to blame.” he answers.

You sit softly on the ground. Jona slowly walks up to you and puts his head on your shoulder.

“Bakugo would like to come visit you, would that be okay? He feels awful”

“I don’t care.”

“Don’t lie.”

“Fuck the world.”

“That won’t help. Let’s eat.” He walked over to you and overs your a hand.

“But first. You need a shower.”

You sigh. He’s right. You smell like body sweat and tears.

“Fine. Keep the food warm please” you agree. And take his hand. He lifts you up.

“After we eat we’re gonna go take the dogs for a walk. They need it. You aren’t being fair to them.” He’s right. He is always right. You nod. Your hair is a mess but still falls into your face.

[crazy-walls]

Peter würde Justus nie loslassen, so viel stand für ihn fest. Lieber würde er mit ihm zusammen hier ertrinken, aber nie, nie, nie könnte er seinen Freund zum Meeresboden hinabsinken lassen, während er selbst sich zur Oberfläche rettete.

Fels der Dämonen

#die drei fragezeichen #peter shaw #justus jonas #excuse me while I cry #this makes me very emotional okay #das war so fucking dramatisch meine güte #also if they would have died bob would be alone argh #just end me #generell das buch much feels very drama #i love peter so much okay he's such a badass if push comes to shove

[badstargateimagines]

Stargate SG-1 Characters at the NYE Extravaganza Chez Moi

Jack: 100% does a shot with me when he first walks in but drinks beer the rest of the night because the shot gave him heart burn. For karaoke he does hot blooded by foreigner with Teal’c and gets way too into it. Kisses sam at midnight because hell yeah and has not and will not stop thinking about it.

Teal’c: Takes it easy on the alcohol, but was also a little fuzzy on what BYOB meant and brought like 3 beers for the night. Definitely hits the bong and gets sent into another dimension and has 0 recollection of singing karaoke with Jack. Wears a funny toque. Also pretty unclear on what we’re celebrating but he’s a total chiller anyway.

Sam: Takes shots with me and Janet all night, tells us later that she hates gin. We tell her that she could’ve said something and we switch to rum. She and Janet absolutely dominate karaoke, notably doing Hand in My Pocket by Alanis Morrisette. Kisses Jack at midnight but then later asks us if ‘it meant anything’ to which we all respond with yes but she probably won’t listen.

Daniel: Has no intention of getting blitzed but gets talking about ethical philosophy with someone and keeps absent-mindedly saying yes when he’s offered another drink. Thinks he got handed a cigarette and accidentally bogarts an entire joint. Gets absolutely zooted but continues talking despite not really saying anything at all. Does karaoke to an obscure Russian song and has absolutely no clue that he fucking killed it. Also does the Night Pat Murphy Died with me and my pals and mysteriously knows every word At midnight he starts talking about the history of New Years traditions to anyone who will listen. Accidentally stayed in the smoker’s pit for like an hour at one point talking to people and everyone thinks he’s run off.

Jonas: Does a bunch of shots and actually does run off. We find him making polite yet drunken conversation with my neighbour and former boss who was out walking his dog. Gets asked to do Red Line by Geordie Kieffer for Karaoke, says yes though he’s never heard the song, it’s very bad. Will drink anything that’s offered to him but it’s okay because we’re all looking out for him. Misses midnight because he’s making friends with my neighbour’s cat. Builds a snowman with some people at some point and no one notices until the next day.

Janet: Parties really fucking hard. Eventually ends up getting her chart read by a couple astrology bitches and she’s extremely invested. She and Sam tear up Karaoke the entire night. Steals a total of 4 jackets from different men by going out for smokes without one. Doesn’t even smoke in the smoker’s pit. Just goes out there for the vibes. She and Sam talk like 3 girls out of texting their exes. At midnight she kisses a random guy and then never speaks to him again for the entire night. 

Vala: Messy drunk. Drinks Hennessy the whole night and low key ruins the vibe at first. Cries in the bathroom with like 4 girls and then she’s good. Never chooses a Karaoke song but grabs a mic for all the songs she knows that other people do. Tries to get Daniel’s attention for a little bit but then stops when she realizes how entirely zooted he is. Goes through my entire house with me and points out what she doesn’t like about my decor. It’s absolutely crushing. At midnight she kisses Daniel to get him to shut the fuck up. He does not. She and Jonas get in a snowball fight. 

General Hammond: Shows up for about an hour near the beginning when we’re all civil. Has a couple beers while I’m doing my makeup and I tell him that we’ll be good for the evening. He doesn’t believe me.

Cam: Mostly just drinks beer with Jack the whole night. Says he’s not gonna get too fucked up and doesn’t but he still has a ton of fun. For Karaoke he does American Girl by Tom Petty not knowing that song holds emotional value to myself and my friend. We join him for that and we become friends for life. Eventually ends up as the Jonas and Daniel wrangler. At midnight he helps Jonas build a snowman.

#stargate #sg-1 #stargate sg1 #jack o'neill #Daniel Jackson #Sam Carter #teal'c #janet fraiser #jonas quinn #vala mal doran #General Hammond #cameron mitchell #bad stargate imagines

[dancefloors]

rank the folklore songs in terms of insanity

okay i already wrote this out once and tumblr refreshed and deleted so. im gonna keep it brief. also more about unhingedness than insanity

the 1: sings about updating an ex while in a loving relationship. it couldve been you. chosen family mention. might’ve actually caused a divorce with this one

peace: no explanation needed. fucking fire sign

seven: “or hide in the closet” 😐

betty: already crazy and gay as fuck for her to write this with her 17yo self’s style but for her to then reveal her silent boyfriend casually wrote chorus for this one out of nowhere.. filed under Joe Alwyn GLAAD award campaign material

cardigan: seems mellow but she decides to follow “Peter Losing Wendy” (which is already a crazy metaphor with 1000 layers that reflect on not only the narrative at hand but herself) with “leaving like a father”. the best day/mine found dead in miami

illicit affairs: not only did she go thesaurus.com on this bitch but she said things like it DIES and it DIES and it DIES, and a drug that only worked the first few hundred times, and dont call me kid dont call me baby, and you’ll be flushed when you return, and-

hoax: just simply the fact that its “your faithless love’s the only hoax I believe in” instead of BELIEVED in. taylor you are not seeing heaven

the lakes: can seem a bit try-hard but the self awareness and parallels to virginia woolf/ophelia and taylors CHOICE to survive as a writer. batshit darkcademia. 

this is me trying: definitely intense just not wildly unhinged. makes me feel less cRaZy and more 'i need to die immediately'

august: jack antonoff fanfiction

my tears ricochet: stolen lullabies!!!!!!! leans more towards depressioncore though

mad woman: actually not That mad. feels like pointed anger and less ‘lashing out’. i appreciate how the whole song is a direct threat upon scooter braun’s life though

exile: crazy behaviour to write a breakup song with ur literal boyfriend. other than that its fun

mirrorball: heavy topic but actually feels kind of sweet, a little dreamy... dont want to rip my hair out when i hear this. bar the bridge

ephiphany: i dont experience any thoughts when i hear this song

the last great american dynasty: all fine but “then it was bought by me” definitely makes me want to bite my hand off

invisible string: “now i send their babies presents” closes our 12 year joe jonas narrative. exhale. other than that this song is free therapy

[starrybouquet]

On Seasons 9 and 10 of Stargate SG1

A note: I wrote a series of essays several weeks ago, when I was feeling particularly crappy. I'm not particularly proud of them--they're pretty dramatic--but they do explain several of my more personal fandom feelings. I know I don't always tend to be the best at explaining things on the spot, so I'm posting these with the hope that I can refer people to them the next time that happens.

Um, I mentioned they're a little dramatic. I'm really, really sorry about that. But hey, if I can't be dramatic on Tumblr, in fandom, where else is that gonna go?

But still - if you're feeling a little sensitive today, maybe you wanna skip this. Or not. Just a light warning. :)

This piece is on seasons 9 and 10 of Stargate SG1, but they aren't all Stargate-related. I'll be posting them in the next few days, hopefully.

To those of you who like s9-10: I have nothing against you. Some of you I know better, some less well. In general, though, I like you, you seem like fine people. This is not about you, I hold nothing against you for liking those seasons. In fact, I envy you. This is more a personal post about why I'm an idiot. If you want, feel free to scroll down past this. I won't be offended. I'd put it under the cut but I'm on mobile.

Okay. Why, hello, those of you willing to read this rant...

No matter how much I denounce and ignore it, I cannot get past the pain of seasons 9 and 10 of Stargate SG-1. I've never watched them in full. Seen a few episodes here and there.

I cannot, repeat, CANNOT stand the thought today. It hurts.

It's an old pain, and it's not just SG1. SG1 is just one of the highlights in a long line of books and shows that have repeatedly broken my heart by being SO GOOD and then taking an, uh, precipitous right turn, shall we say. Because a hard right seems too kind, and a precipitous drop too harsh.

I love SG1. I love love love it. I like the plots and I love the science, but what I really fell in love with was the characters.

I loved all of them. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: if Sam, Daniel, or Teal'c had been on any other show, I guarantee you they would have been my favorite by far. Jack is just so...Jack that he has to be my favorite. That's SG1 for you.

I've never had super close friends. I have good RL friends, don't get me wrong. They're nice people. But we don't have much in common.

That's okay. That's been my experience forever--really nice folks who maybe didn't always get me or have anything to say to me, but were good, decent people.

And this is good. Really, it is. It's just that SG-1, for me, has always represented the promise that there *are* people out there that are your true friends, and you will do brave and brilliant things with them. It will happen.

It's naive, I know. But I haven't been able to let it go. Maybe someday. But not right now.

Which brings me to s9-10 of SG1. It hurts.

It hurts that SG1 scattered to the wind.

It hurts that they sent Jack away from a place where he was happy, where he'd found friends and meaning in life again, away to fucking DC. To be...what? A politician? I could write a whole post just about this. Actually, I have. I could still write more posts about it!

It hurts that Sam went to Area 51, and nobody seemed to mind, the 'Gate didn't spontaneously combust as we were always led to believe it would.

It hurts that Daniel's personality supposedly changed that much, in the absence of his friends. Though some of his lines are funny, they aren't the earnest, idealistic, thoughtful Daniel I fell in love with. I get the idea that new-look Daniel would roll his eyes at s3-8 Daniel, and beat up floppy hair Daniel. And floppy hair Daniel is my baby and anyone who doesn't appreciate his brilliance can face my wrath. That includes you, buff s9-10 Daniel, and also whoever decided/approved that change in characterization.

Really, the only one who doesn't hurt is Teal'c. Because it feels like he's moving forward, toward happiness.

So...here we are. Season 9. Mitchell, Landry.

I often say I hate Mitchell. Do I resent him for replacing Jack? Yes. I do. We can talk about plot reasons and all that, but at the end of the day, I was going to hate anyone who tried to be Jack.

This is true in real life, too. You can't try to be anyone else. You've gotta walk your own path.

Now, people say that I didn't give Mitchell a chance. I say that the way he was portrayed, in the few episodes I've seen, tells me enough.

I can think of lots of ways Mitchell could have been interesting. How would Daniel and Teal'c react to an old, actually bad tempered (not Jack bad tempered, actually bad tempered) hardass after eight years of their best friends leading them? Or--start with his actual character. Mitchell, he hasn't been at the SGC. Wouldn't he get some flack from the longtime team leaders of SGs 2-5ish? They'd be insulted, right?

Or we could've gotten a nice Daniel Teal'c episode arc and then we could've had one Samantha Carter as team leader, though we won't get into that.

Bringing me to my next point. Co-leads?? Seriously?? You're trying too hard, folks. Telling me Sam used to know Mitchell does not actually make me like him.

Same thing with Landry. Unlike Mitchell, I guess I don't really have an opinion on Landry. He's just....there? No character development for this man.

Anyway, back to the team.

One of the things I love about SG1 is how the humor and friendship was so damn natural. Other than a few episodes (Urgo comes to mind), the plots weren't intentionally humorous. They were campy sci-fi plots sometimes, sure. They were funny because Jack was funny, yeah. They were lower budget than some other sci-fi. But they were as serious as sci-fi gets. It was how the characters reacted that made it funny.

Similarly, we were never told SG1 were found family. We just Knew. Because of the way they acted with each other. Because of the way Jack would "order" them to do things.

And hey, by the way, they weren't always family. Sam used to be less willing to ignore Jack. Daniel used to be less willing to trust Teal'c. Jack used to be a little more stern.

So...they meshed together. Like all found families do.

Every time I see a photo of new-look SG1 in seasons 9 and 10, I can't help but feel that they're trying too hard. I don't get the family feel because they aren't a family, damn it. It doesn't matter how many times you *tell* me they're super close. One of the reasons the original team got so close is because they all needed each other. Jack was depressed, Daniel was grieving, Sam was alone and had lost her mom and wasn't speaking with her dad and had never opened up to anyone in her life, Teal'c was an alien fighting for freedom after spending 100 years essentially as a slave.

And partly because of that, by season 9? Daniel and Teal'c (and Sam, when she comes back) don't need a family the way they used to. They have each other. They have Jack, or at least they *should*. *Glares in angry at Jack in DC vibes*

So...they simply don't have the relationship with Mitchell they do with each other.

It'd be different if Mitchell needed a family. It's not that SG1 hasn't added people before--I think Jonas is a perfect example of this. He wasn't Daniel, and that always hurt. But he was young, and naive, and innocent, and he needed SG1 because he'd left everything he'd ever known.

And that worked.

Without needing family, Mitchell is just a coworker. He can be a friendly coworker. A friend. But if he wanted to become better friends, family, he needed to show depth and vulnerability. He needed to need SG1.

And he never does, from what I've seen and heard about and read about. Or if he does need SG1, he doesn't need them badly enough to show more than an occasional bout of thoughtfulness before returning to his normal pale-Jack-imitation ways.

Now, I don't know why that is. I lean toward bad writing. I haven't watched Farscape (it's on my to watch list) but it seems like Ben Browder is a fine actor.

So, seasons 9 and 10 are probably fine TV. I'm never going to watch them through, so don't ask. I've tried and failed and every time it just tears my heart a little more and I'm won't be doing it again.

Those seasons...they just lost everything I watch SG-1 for, and so...yeah. I feel the hate strongly. Not because they're bad--I think they're different, not necessarily bad. My hate is only because in creating those seasons, they tore down the parts of SG1 that I loved most.

So s9-10 show me a few nice hugs and laughs? That's nice. I like comedies, I do. However...that's not my Stargate. Not the one I love. I liked the sarcastic one, the one full of wonder, the one where they had to scrape and claw their way through the galaxy with naivety and courage and brilliance. The one where they ate together, fought together, died together, were resurrected together.

It hurts, man. It hurts when the things I love turn into something that's lukewarm. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

That's why we have fanfic. And, with any luck, I'll actually start that AU I've been talking about.

It's fanfic, and so it'll be my Stargate. The ending I wanted--which really wasn't an ending at all, more of a closure of one chapter of the story.

Damn, did that turn dramatic. Um, sorry about that, and also sorry for spilling my feelings all over you guys. Thanks for reading, if you got to the end of this.

#sg1 #stargate sg1 #fandom #sg1 meta #overdramatic fandom essays #my blogstuffs

[struggles-for-snuggles]

BNHA as Things I Heard at School

Sero: Is this how you feel right now? *raises phone to show video of a dung beetle rolling off a cliff*

Kaminari, after his phone rings: My butt is vibrating!

Bakugou: Sometimes I just want to be mean.

Kirishima: You just gotta be like 'No Homo bro'

Mic, teaching arts and crafts: You're going to cut along the edge until you get a pentagram. Wait-

Mina, wearing a unicorn onesie: I'm a fucking hoe-i-corn, bitch!

Kaminari: Molly is short for Mollifer.

Sero: Just take a nap in meth.

Also Sero: I almost said yes to being a registered sex offender...

Aoyama: I just had deja vous! He he!

Kirishima, jokingly: Can I succ on your peep???

Shiozaki: Jesus is my best friend!

Kaminari: Destroy me daddy, uwu~

Mina: She yelled at me for slapping my thighs. *proceeds to slap thighs once more*

Midoriya: I don't even know how to respond to that...

Kaminari @ Monoma: (i know that they're japanese but shhh) When you're all high and mighty and think that you're better than me, remember that you're of the same ethnicity as the Kardashians.

Bakugou: I'm just always pissed off on the inside

Also Bakugou: Maybe I /want/ to torture you.

Kaminari: Have /you/ ever parallel parked a submarine??

Iida: There are children present!

Sero: That doesn't mean there aren't any hard drugs.

Kaminari: THAT's MY D O G SERO!

Todoroki, about UA: This is child abuse.

Midoriya: What is?

Todoroki: All of it.

Shiozaki: That's not very christlike!

Kirishima, high thanks to Sero: *grabs Bakugou's face and whispers seductively* Fettuccini~

Jirou: AP classes are how they weed out all the weak ones.

Tsuyu, about Ochako: She's got thunder thighs.

Kaminari: *explaining to Todoroki how to kiss someone* First you scrunch, and then you suck. Simple as that!

Mina, about Kirishima: Absolutely, positively, without a doubt, homosexual.

Bakugou: I hate you!

Todoroki: Well congratulations, I hate me too.

Mineta: *gasp* Boobies!

Mina, about Bakugou: He's gay, right? I'm pretty sure he's gay.

Mina @ Mineta: Do you have to take everything and make it kinky?

Kirishima: I put mayonnaise in my hair to make it soft.

Midnight: Remember your STDs-

Kaminari: So you know the Jonas brothers, right?

Mina: Yeah.

Kaminari: Did you know there's a fourth one?

Kirishima: No way. Really?

Kaminari: Yeah! Guess what they call him.

Sero: Idk, what?

Kaminari: /ThE BOnUs JoNAs/

Midoriya: *trying out for the dance team* I can shimmie my heart out but that's about it.

Kaminari: I wrote a short story about /Teletubbies/...

Tetsutetsu: My ribcage is bigger than your ribcage! Come at my bro!

Kaminari: But who uses all ten of their toes anyway?

Aizawa: The safe word is pickle.

Aoyama: LIBERTAIRE LES BISCUITS!

Sero: I look like a really sad twix bar.

Jirou: We should be genetically modifying babies to work like vacuums.

Kaminari: I like sexual tension, bitches, and necrophilia.

Everyone @ Midoriya: *eating a cinnaon roll* That's cannibalism!

Kirishima: We all have great hair, we're gay.

Sero: Yo I discriminate colors all the time.

Mic: *plas Talk Dirty to Me in class as loudly as possible*

Mina: I want another tit.

Kaminari: He's skilled, he did it with his hands!

Todoroki: I believe the expression is 'it'll hit you like a brick truck'

Aoyama: Tout tout~

Kirishima: If you had to be an animal, what animal would you be?

Mina: Dr. Phil.

Kaminari: You know, I'm not sitting here judging you on /your/ actions.

Mina: Which gay one? We're talking about Class 1-A here!

Aizawa: You guys, you walking hormones.

Aoyama: Je suis tres bon~

Kirishima: Oh Canada, oh Canada, how great they big red leaves! And maple syrup, on your knees!

Mina, about the 1-A girls: Six lesbians on a Saturday morning.

Jirou: *is sing-laugh-crying* I feel like this is what would happen if you were possessed by a demon.

Shinsou: Think of us--walking monkey people who do things like taxes.

Kaminari: Think about it, chicken noodle soup tastes like piss but in a good way!

Sero: CornHub

Midoriya @ Todoroki: This time, you pretend to be the fetus.

Hagakure: Selfie!!

Iida: I'm performing surgery!

Shiozaki @ all of Class 1-A: You need to go to church once in a while.

Shiozaki @ Shishida: I'm in a robe, son.

Kaminari: Hey baby, do you like things that leak?

Iida: It's okay, I'm kinda like a therapist too!

Sero: Everyone's like hahahahaha /r a c i s m/

Kaminari @ Sero: I. Don't. Care. About. Your. Elbows!

All Might: Ahaha, that was a riot! 12 people died.

Bakugou: I'm gonna take off it's legs and ride it like the corndog it is!

Kaminari: I've been a bad boy, punish me harder Daddy~

Shinsou: If you bit me I'd probably taste like guacamole because I'm literally an avocado.

Satou: Ah... High fructose corn syrup! How I've missed you!

Shiozaki: You're doing soul push-ups in church.

Sero: The only thing that has an unbreakable bond is Flex Tape.

Tsuyu @ Mineta: You know what doesn't work underwater? Human lungs.

Todoroki: I'm kinda neutral about it because I already live in a world without hugs.

Midoriya: Hang on, sorry. I've got problems.

Shiozaki: With shoes, you can walk to church.

Kirishima: It's like my mom used to say: No I don't have hemorrhoids, why do you ask?

Kaminari: Are hemorrhoids a sandwich?

Sero: When they're between two buns, yes.

Shiozaki: You come to stake dances often?

Mineta: Yow nowt even wistening two mwee!!

Tsuyu: it's kinda hard to, you don't have kneecaps.

Kaminari: Yes! According to the Pokedex on my watch.

Uraraka: *trying to get Midoriya's attention* Oh no, I tripped! Now I'm wounded!

Mina: I'm a farminist.

Sero: If you smoke Claritin, it'll make your head /really/ clear.

Todoroki: You know what they say--hair is just the nails of the scalp.

Tokoyami: I climb trees, and if I'm feeling exciting, shrubs!

Kirishima: I'm the nut man, I just like nuts.

Kirishima: Act: Acquired Cashew Taste.

Kaminari: Technically you're not an adult until you have sex for the first time, but using a credit card comes pretty close.

#bnha #bnha memes #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #class 1a #bakusquad #dekusquad #kiribaku #todobaku #tododeku #bakudeku #kamisero #seromina #kirimina