#and on the one hand I feel you buddy

[kedreeva]

On one side of me is an elderly couple I never see, and to the other side down the road is a little 4-spot apartment complex we call The 4plex. It's very small- I've only been in one of them, but it was basically a 1-bedroom apartment. I have only met a couple of the tenants, ever, since I mind my own business and they mind theirs. A long while back, there was a couple there that used to have screaming matches in the middle of the night (11pm-1am usually). They disappeared shortly after I stormed the castle at 4am because someone was blasting her horn trying to get the tenant to come fight her. at 4am on a workday.

I have also never met the person who actually owns the 4plex. Today I heard a bunch of commotion over there, construction sounds or at least lots of sawing, and big machinery, so I took Bug out to go see what we could see. We found a bunch of trucks trimming and cutting down trees. Not bad, the pines over there cause me problems if a bird gets out. So I turn and go to get the mail before heading back in.

I'm about halfway across my property when I hear someone calling me. not by name, so I turn to see Some Guy bolting across my orchard to catch up to me. I stop, and he comes up slower and introduces himself as the owner of the 4plex, and explains that he's cleaning up the property, the trees and removing the old sheds no one uses, and getting ready to sell it. I introduced myself, and as if we are in a grocery store checkout line, he begins to tell me a bunch of information while I nod along, and when I notice Bug is under his feet, I ask him to hold still, and point her out. He had not noticed her at all.

I scooped her up and introduced her, and let him hold her. He took a few pictures and I said, she's a baby peacock. That's when something clicked and he went from kind of tired and polite to excited and happy. He took more pictures. I offered to let him come see the other birds, so he came back and pet Stan, and fed Indie some peanuts out of his hand. I gave him the peafowl eggs I found in the pens we visited, and a dozen quail eggs from the quail, and sent him on his way, assuming I would likely never see him again.

just now I was out in Indie's pen, lying in the grass with Bug, watching the puffy white clouds inch across the clear blue sky, and listening to a little finch sing his heart out on a mulberry branch above me. Indie was preening nearby. Absolute peace.

Someone starts shouting my name from my driveway. It's Some Guy 4plex owner. He has returned. I call that I'm out in the pens, without getting up at all. He comes out and he's got a bag with him and he tells me I had got him an eggcellent breakfast, and really made his day (his week, his month), so he'd brought me a steak for dinner, and some corn. He sets down the bag and crouches to say hello to Bug again, and then tells me he showed his pictures to his sister in Texas and she didn't know what baby peafowl look like, either. Then said he's off to pay the tree removal folks, and disappeared again.

This is like the third interaction with neighbors I've had this month, after not talking to them for 10 years. I don't know what is going on.

#stories about ked's life #there's zero chance I cook this steak without Bug throwing a fit #also it's a NICE steak too from our local butcher #I assume the corn is too #it was very sweet of him to come back #he told me several times that I lead a strange life out here #and on the one hand I feel you buddy #and on the other you do not know the half of it

[theminecraftbee]

god i really feel like the mcrp fandom and the wrestling fandom are cousins. we should hold hands. we both have to deal with people not quite understanding the idea of keyfabe ("don't you know wrestling is FAKE?"/"they're using their real names so clearly it's all the real youtubers"), with ao3 tagging nightmares (did you know the wrestling fandom still has the rpf tag problem the mcrp fandom had for years because apparently ao3 doesn't understand keyfabe either?), with people who don't understand keyfabe but from the other side (yes it's not real but i should still harass the player/wrestler about it right?), with complicated plots with goofy characters, with outsiders being dead convinced that the people inside are writing rpf, even if we explain it's not real... i'm just saying. we're cousins. buddies. we should hold hands. we should understand each other. that's all i'm saying,

#note that i like. don't watch much wrestling #it's one of those things i constantly WANT to get into but it's intimidatingly huge so i don't know where to start #but like. i know enough to say we're buddies and also i keep on using wrestling terms like keyfabe to try to explain mcrp so #shaking your hand. i understand you. #anyway i feel like so much discourse could at least PARTIALLY be solved if we sat the discoursers down and expained the concept #in wrestling storyline terms #like. gently take their shoulders. have you heard of a 'heel'.

[lover-of-mine]

no, love is never logical...

#is this buddie? #or is it just eddie? #asjkaoskaoskaoksa #911 #911edit #buddie #buddieedit #911 fox #911 on fox #911 abc #eddie diaz #evan buckley #my edit #otp: you don't need to pretend with me #imma tag it as buddie because why the hell not #at this point i should have a cemetery tag lol #and a pining eddie tag #i was dyeing my hair #and my hand slipped #im trying out animating the text #not sure how i feel about it #anyway this song has me in a chokehold #i am so sorry #i needed this out of my head #go olivia rodrigo #cant believe i never used one of her songs before #well #imma go now #911verse

[piningprecussionist]

Oh! Fucking. Duh. Obvious Roxie post I can make today: here's an emote I made for the sp:te server! (With variants of different degrees of completion...)

I was gonna go back and shade the comic colors Roxie but. Just ended up going w the colors picked off the screenshot. This screenshot, specifically!

#mind the quality i ripped it from Somewhere but i dont remember where #i still havent gone and continued my Unhinged Screenshot Taking yet. but oh buddy when I do.... #spto #sp comic #spvtw #fanart #art #roxie richter #emotes #discord emotes #blue sparks one there was just testing where i wanted to put some before i decided Overkill was The Way #like w the other ones. please do reblog this if you decide to use them in a server somewhere! i would like to know if they end up other + #+places #ooc #spto fanart #scott pilgrim fanart #spvtw fanart #spto roxie #scott pilgrim roxie #spvtw roxie #roxanne richter #roxy richter #actually. best day for it really. if anyone has any roxie screenshots or panels they want emotes from I'd generally consider them to begin + #+with but For Sure today. (generally if anyone wants a given shot/panel as an emote im happy to at least Try. i just need specifics) #(so far kim ones are my only Successful emote attempts Without panel/shot basis. i do need to try a ramona that was requested again...) #uhhh just to be safe i guess #potential eyestrain #i did try a version w the sparks more like they are in the show but it Didn't Look Good #feel free to try your own hand at it if you want #this post is scheduled btw :3c im still trying to work on another roxie piece... panel redraw....

[feline-evil]

Dethvanity is really funny to me conceptually as an episode because you can see how little they had to make the characters insecure about for the bit. They swing for obvious lowblow choices with Pickle' baldness and Nathan's weight and even those require some suspension of disbelief because ok. Sure. Nathan '(said extremely proudly) never skipped a meal in my life!' Explosion is insecure about being a big man now. Nathan *guy who everyone thinks is smoking hot 99% of the time* Explosion is a tiny bit larger than usual and is insecure about it now. Lol. Lmao even.

But anyway then we hit Skwisgaar and Toki and there's like NOTHING to swing for, you can see them going uhhh ok Skwis doesn't sleep he probably drinks a lot of coffee, and Toki? Shit, what does Toki have to be insecure about with his looks. He's perfect, he's adorable, he's ripped. Um. FUCK IT, HE'S DOING NOTHING BUT EATING LEMONS. WE GOT NOTHING, WE GOT NOTHING, JUST GIVE THE BOY CITRUS FRUITS.

WOE 🍋 BE UPON YE

I'm sure i could make some smarter points about the attempts at applying vanity in this ep and how outside of this and a few other moments i do actually like that the show rarely takes pot shots at things like Nathan's weight, but you see Nathan has shirtless scenes in this one and so my intelligence is impeded when all the blood rushes out of my head and into my-

#metalocalypse #jay talkin #I LOVE TOKI'S LEMON EATING CHALLENGE HES ON IN THIS EP. BABY YR STRANGE AND PECULIAR #pickles being insecure abt balding is funny too. my man has chosen a hairstyle that is actively making that worse for himself #buddy if u didnt have whiteguy dreads impromise yr hair wld be healthier. but we love u for yr octopus swag anyway <3 #also hi nathan dont listen to the tv listen to me you look great. hi hello. im unsheathing my sword to cut down anyone who makes u feel bad #EVERYBODY IN UNIVERSE IS A COWARD. ITS BIG BOY SEASON. COME GET U ONE #dethvanity isnt in my list of favs i think most its humour is rlly easy lowballs but i find it funny for reasons outside of that #which is namely the show trying to make charavters insecure abt things when they absolutely are not any other time lmao #trying to find things to make skwis and toki insecure abt but theres NOTHING. ITS RLLY FUNNY #listen. putting my hand on everyones shoulder. lets not ignore the elephant in the room this show is uh #OFTEN VERY FATPHOBIC. so its no bastion of rep just cuz it doesnt take all the pot shots it cld at nathans body #it still does take some and theres plently of fatphobia outside of nathans character #but i do like that nathan is a bigger guy and outside of a few eps thats just treated as smth fine! its not remarked on outside of those! #and i think his body is drawn really well and i like that hes permitted to be sexy and to be like. seen with his body out just as much #as like anyone else in the band. like yeah duh nathan explosion is sexy in universe ppl are rocking with this. AS THEY SHOULD BE #idk like i say. not denying the show its fatphobia just saying i like how nathan is treated and portrayed a lot of the time :]

[cream-and-tea]

pallas in book one is definitely at it-cannot-possibly-get-worse-than-this ABSOLUTE rock bottom but god. there is such a specific flavour to their despair in book two that only happens because of the realization they have at the end of lay me down. like. how do you move on after admitting that everything you believed in was a lie. how do you live with what you’ve done (with what has been done to you). is it possible to pull yourself up out of the pit you’ve dug. what do you do if it isn’t. what do you do if it IS. and once you look at the damage how do you stop looking. past the first layer of hurt there’s just more and more hurt and you were used by the one person who was supposed to keep you safe to cause even MORE pain and no matter how deep you go none of it means anything! it never meant anything at all!! motherfucker your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#pallas’s whole arc in the first book is getting to the point where they go ‘maybe i? feel bad about all this?? actually???’ #i cannot overstate enough that it takes an entire book to get them to that point lmao #and then it’s like. newsflash buddy now you’ve gotta DEAL with that #it really is the mental equivalent of getting into a hot bath of after being out in the cold for a whole day #and the interesting thing about pallas in the first book and their status as a villian and like. their eventual ‘oh SHIT’ moment #is that pallas doesn’t need to realize that they’re a bad person doing bad things #pallas is VERY aware that they are a bad person doing bad things #it’s actually more about realizing the harm that’s been done to them? like as a human being?? #bc they very much have the attitude of ‘well of course i’m doing bad things i was born as an inherently evil person there’s nothing else #i’m capable of doing the most i can hope for is that someone points me in the right direction and i’ll be able to do the hard things #that other people cannot (and SHOULD NOT) do’ #so THATS the mindset that needs to be unlearned before they can start moving forward? if that makes sense? #less ‘shit are we the baddies?’ and more ‘shit have i been horrifically abused?’ #but then after that realization all the blood they’ve spilled is still there. and they should never have had to do that. no one should ever #have to do that. but they did and now they’re starting to see the full extent of what that means #and they have to find a way to live with it. #and it’s absolutely DEVASTATING. #wip: ghost story #pallas #i’ve been working on the book two outline. if you couldn’t tell. head in absolute hands rn.

[milimeters-morales]

(NOT ATSV) my ideal miguel and miles friendship (bordering on enemies) dynamic is where Miles is sort of a Mean Girls figure where he’ll say the worst things to Miguel, who actually has no problems dishing that shit right back out, is usually too fed up or somewhere else mentally to reply. They fight a lot, more physically than verbally, usually in a slapstick comedy type of way. Miles is banned from Nueva York once a month and got a restraining order against Miguel in his own dimension. His parents fucking hate him and Miguel hates them right back. Rio has tried and failed to poison him via food and Jeff is considering hiring a hitman. Gabriel is beloved by them. Miles takes Miguel’s money at least twice a week to go spend it just because he can. Miguel has tried (and succeeded once) to get Miles sick with a future illness because he figured out the lesbian bar Miguel liked to perform at in drag. Miles has cried at least once in every room of Miguel’s apartment and Miguel has been confused on what to do each time besides an awkward hug and pat on the back. People are rightfully worried for Miles’s safety at least 80% of the time but when they aren’t they’re shaking their heads at the two’s antics. They need to be separated until they have a healthy “this is a grown ass man / this is stupid little girl i don’t like at work” relationship and it’ll take an act of god for either of them to realize their current one isn’t healthy at all and has extremely negative impacts on their mental state.

#i wanna write this so badly bc like . this type of relationship with adults as a kid when you can’t 100% trsut them and place your safety + #in their hands is sooo interesting to write esp considering Miguel’s past and what Miles is used to #which is dangerous fights from adults (his villains) but also the loving ones like his parents his neighbors ripeter and peter b etc #and this miguel (imo) wouldn’t hurt miles on purpose because he knows the pain BUT he also doesn’t realize some shit is pain-causing both+ #mentally and physically bc yknow some abused kids grow into adults who subconsciously do similar shit #and for Miles and Miguel to finally realize beating the shit out of each other almost constantly and the negative back and forth (if miguel #feels like talking that day) is just. not a good thing #it’s sort of like the way i write pavitr and miles’s relationship regarding their fighting because it’s genuinely helpful but #can seem borderline awful and physically abusive to each other #peter b is so fucking worried sometimes bc he sees Miguel in a completely different way than other people. like he’s off in lala land #like. he’ll see this 15 year old stickbug of a kid fighting his buddy Miguel who has been known to kill #he’ll say some fights tou just can’t win Miles… and Miles is setting Miguel’s apartment on fire #like they have good moments. okay. trust me. but a toxic friendship like the kind you see that people take too seriously from a show like. #idk bluey. or some kids show like that. #spiderverse fans DNI ‼️‼️‼️🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾‼️‼️‼️‼️ #not ship never ship don’t even tag is as such bc i’ll just delete the post #miles morales #spiderman #spider man #gabriel o’hara #rio morales #jefferson morales #miguel o’hara #m&m posts

[krys-loves-otome]

Stolen from Scummy's reblog because I wanted to do it too!

Note that most half-filled squares are ones that are technically true, but it's under specific circumstances and rules, will explain below

So, for now, some Blorbos from me:

-Intense in loves and passions (for Nobunaga, for MC once they get together, for trying to get Mitsuhide to take better care of himself, in his care for others, dude is just passionate for his loved ones!) -His love for Nobu and his interactions with Mitsuhide can get a little fruity, not gonna lie. -Technically orphan since we don't really hear much about his family aside from his poor upbringing and having to be a bum to get by until Nobu came into his life. Agas in discord has also told us about RL Hideyoshi and how much his mom loved Kennyo and I think that's funny to think about sometimes. -Frequently violent but only when it comes to protecting his loved ones. He thinks one of them is in trouble and the man will go feral trying to find a way to help them. Overall speaking, he's not particularly violent, I don't think though.

-----

-Nothing anyone says is gonna make me change my mind about this man being bisexual. Nope, not happening. -Technically a tragic backstory as he frequently does Team Oda's dirty work of spying and torture, but his tragic backstory is not quite to the extent that some other characters go through, like poverty, figure-headness, and killing a loved one.

-Technically frequently violent, but it's mostly in the pranks he pulls. Not ferally violent, in a sense. He's sneaky about his violent tendencies. You don't want to mess with his wife, after all. -Divorced? He's a double agent that always goes back to his ex (Team Oda).

------

-Being an immortal vampire means you must have some complexities and that doesn't excuse you being fruity, monsieur. -Technically an orphan as I don't think we hear much about his birth family as we do Leonardo and Vlad. They're mentioned sometimes but no word on their current status as he tends to focus more on his found family. Until I get confirmed status, he's orphan status to me, thus why the creation of his found one. -Divorced from Vlad, duh.

------

-Listen. Listen. Devon/batteryrose was onto something with shipping Nokto and Slivio. Plus, been thinking of finding ways of shipping my OC and him with Rio. Just something about Nokto and the Bentonite princes does something to my mind, okay?

-Technically an orphan after what happened to his and Licht's mom, plus the whole reason for the Belle procedure is because his dad died. Maybe it doesn't count because he was an adult when his dad died, but, technically speaking, both his parents are dead, so... -Murderer by technicality because of Blood-stained Roses Day (all the princes at the time were said to have participated, so, technically speaking). He also tried to poison some merchants for a business deal, so attempted murderer too, technically?

-----

-Have you seen this demon when his family is in danger (actual, perceived, or otherwise)? He will go absolutely bat-shit feral when his family is in danger! Once you're under his wings, nothing will stop him from going to the absolute limit and beyond for you.

-Technically divorced from the Celestial Realm because of Circumstances™️, not from a specific person.

-Also on a technicality, because of that... whole war with the Celestial Realm, so some angels were more than likely killed, right?

#krys talks #meme thingys #ikemen sengoku #ikemen vampire #ikemen prince #obey me #hideyoshi toyotomi #mitsuhide akechi #comte de saint germain (ikevamp) #nokto klein #lucifer (obey me) #some other things I didn't get around to talking about above #hideyoshi and mitsuhide are murderers by trade bc both are warlords so that's why that's colored in for both #hideyoshi may also be a frequent rule enforcer but he does soften up around some of them so technically a rule changer than a breaker #nokto having no friends is technically true as he has brothers and his faction isn't all buddy buddy like his twin's faction is #plus he does more business dealings while socializing but we don't really see anyone he really talks to about deep personal things until- #MC comes along #maybe to licht on occasion but they're more estranged currently so Nokto doesn't really have any close personal friends methinks #about Lucifer he is technically an enemy of god (who is his creator) and he went against him for his little sister #turning him back into his angel form and his dream back in NB 38 still sits wrong with me and I hope that gets addressed in future lessons #if it'd had just been bc of his ring reacting to him or something that would have been one thing but... still sits wrong with me #and thinking on it now still thinking if Lucifer is more of a rule breaker or a rule changer #his downfall was bc of rule breaking in the first place #and he's a rule enforcer bc of his brothers and their antics #but there are times he does soften up if he sees the rules are actually hurting his family #and change them because he knows first-hand what breaking hard rules does to a person #so as of nowadays #despite his rule-enforcer ways he does bend sometimes if the situation calls for it #those are my thoughts for this #feel free to discuss if you wanna

[shitpostingfromthebarricade]

The insurgents, we will remark, were full of hope. The manner in which they had repulsed the attack of the preceding night had caused them to almost disdain in advance the attack at dawn. They waited for it with a smile. They had no more doubt as to their success than as to their cause. Moreover, succor was, evidently, on the way to them. They reckoned on it. With that facility of triumphant prophecy which is one of the sources of strength in the French combatant, they divided the day which was at hand into three distinct phases. At six o’clock in the morning a regiment “which had been labored with,” would turn; at noon, the insurrection of all Paris; at sunset, revolution.

They heard the alarm bell of Saint-Merry, which had not been silent for an instant since the night before; a proof that the other barricade, the great one, Jeanne’s, still held out.

All these hopes were exchanged between the different groups in a sort of gay and formidable whisper which resembled the warlike hum of a hive of bees.

Enjolras reappeared. He returned from his sombre eagle flight into outer darkness. He listened for a moment to all this joy with folded arms, and one hand on his mouth. Then, fresh and rosy in the growing whiteness of the dawn, he said:

“The whole army of Paris is to strike. A third of the army is bearing down upon the barricades in which you now are. There is the National Guard in addition. I have picked out the shakos of the fifth of the line, and the standard-bearers of the sixth legion. In one hour you will be attacked. As for the populace, it was seething yesterday, to-day it is not stirring. There is nothing to expect; nothing to hope for. Neither from a faubourg nor from a regiment. You are abandoned.”

— 5.1.3 Les Miserables (Hapgood)

#no one ever talks about this moment in red #and let me tell you: it shook me to my absolute core #imagine you come back from scouting #and you hear the people you've formed a sort of fellowship with #the people you have killed for and alongside #and they are so full of hope and cheer and optimism for the future! #and this is their final moment to feel that before you need to tell them that they will die #The Enjolras hiding for a moment with his hand over his mouth and the other hugged around himself #eyes closed as he lets this moment go on just a little longer #ngl I think it hit harder in the FMA translation #but I'm not copying all of that over #les mis #shitposting through les mis #enjolras #the frenchiest fry #Oh Buddy #thicc bricc

[zykamiliah]

episode 3 hit me right in the feelings

REI PAPA

look at them, already a happy family

and he said he wouldn't be to sleep -snorts-

#buddy daddies #idk what to feel about miri's mom bc on the one hand it's really awful to be force to have a child when you don't want it #specially for the child #on the other she slapped kazuki after he defended her from her abusive boyfriend #girl has a fucked up life i pity her #also the fact that kazuki never had parents but instead has some idealized notion of how parents should behave #rei's father is fucking awful and rei is so traumatized #when he said he was miri's papa 😭😭😭 #btw miri is as annoying as she's cute and funny and i say that fondly #she's so chaotic #at the same time it's really sad that she treasures her mama's hamburgers when they are nothing but fake love

[nedlittle]

[alt]

2x21 "crisis" really is a perfect episode

#mash #i cannot BELIEVE the plot of this episode was really it's cold and we need to snuggle for warmth #the supply line got cut off so we need communal sleepovers for Morale Reasons #it's PERFECT! #i just know frank is that kid who's like 'can we please be quiet and go to sleep' #frank thinks they're gonna get in trouble if they're too loud #i'm going to finish s2 today and i really enjoyed it overall! #i think it's stronger than s1 (understandably) and the episodes have more rewatchability #however on the other hand there episodes like for want of a boot and as you were that feel like all set up and no payoff #similarly dear dad 3 didn't really feel committed to the epistolary format and didn't do anything interesting or meaningful with it #also bc i am a person who loves spoilers and context i know what happens to henry so every passing episode i am filled with dread #that's my DAD what do you MEAN he's gonna get shot down over the sea of japan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #also mclean stevenson is giving possibly my favourite performance. he's just Saying things by accident #not one word in his mouth has ever been there on purpose he is possessed by the spirit of your dumbest uncle #i'm still lukewarm on trapper. the vulture instinct i feel on account of him looking like buddy the elf has settled #i no longer want to tear that man to shreds out of primal rage i only wish he'd get his own plot & a more distinct personality #those are all my thoughts rn #i have to bribe myself with the Very Special Gay Episode so i can finish this cover letter #id in alt text

[novelconcepts]

i don't make resolutions, but if i did

it would be to finish this fic

(and to be kind to myself for however long it takes to actually do so)

#i'm finishing it if it kills me #i know i've been writing this makeout scene for 3 weeks but baby that can't last forever #if we want to get deep and dark and serious for a second i do think a lot of my struggles to write lately have to do with engagement #and how incredibly low engagement has been on the last few things i've written #which like. is what it is. i'm not entitled to anybody's time or comments or kudos. #but when you write stuff you're proud of and it feels like it's barely getting read it's hard to keep momentum. #this isn't intended as a woe is me or whatever it's just kind of like. there. hovering. #happens enough times you start to wonder if it's you. am i just writing for the wrong fandom/ship? #(too bad if so. they're in my bones i'm writing for them and no one can stop me.) #but yeah. if you ever wonder if authors do care or notice about hits. comments. kudos. buddy i am here to tell you #not only do we care and FLOURISH we also notice when those things drop off and readers vanish #and it is a giant bummer. and sometimes makes us wildly paranoid about why that might have happened. #so if you liked a fic today--not even one of mine. just. anybody's. share it. comment on it. #kudos at the VERY least (cuz frankly kudos is there to be an 'i got to the end and this was nice' feature. #so when you get 500 hits and only like 30 kudos? it feels like 470 of those people hated your work) #anyway. that got out of hand. lil' too raw lil' too honest. happens when you let yourself ramble at 11:30 instead of sleeping #to sum: let your local fic writer know if they've made you happy #and as we go into 2024 i am swearing to myself that this fic (and probably several others) are getting finished #come hell. high water. or dishearteningly low engagement numbers. #(and then maybe we...actually work on something original. cuz why not. new year same old me but i'll do my best.)

[buck2eddie]

fic moodboard inspired by and my heart beats by @henswilsons

It’s Chimney, who brings it up first. “At this point I don’t think I know how to be anything except a dad.”

Or, Christopher grows up. Eddie plants a garden.

#it's been a while since i made one of these so im feeling rusty but this was fun to search for!!!! #tried to fit in moments from the fic that will pass the vibe hopefully i managed to do so #you got the therapy sessions with frank; the tomatoes of course; fancy restaurant and drinks with alex; buck helping with the plants; #some hand holding; and the plants condoms 🫶 i did not type that into the search engine but it was close akshgdkdn #ok hi mia again it's me i hope you like this and thank you for this fic it's been on my mind since i've read it 🫶🫶🫶 #not to like. unload childhood memories in the tags but my grandma used to raise tomatoes and she will always wait for me to be the one to- #pick them off. we would come once a week to my grandparents and she always waited for Saturdays when we arrived #so yeah this unlocked fond memories in my brain with eddie and his tomatoes so thank u 🫶 #ok gonna post this and rum everyone go read this fic! #buddie #fic moodboard #m*mbs #OH ALSO i had to include the plant store that is open at night cause that part made me laugh so hard god eddie you silly man 😭💀

[teamappare]

Man one of my favorite writing things is when a character can never get revenge against the people who have ruined their lives

#dnd #want revenge against the man who took your hand? Thats too bad #want revenge against the man who broke the one thing that makes you feel safe? nah #want revenge against your bastard brother? someone else should get it #your brother wants revenge against your father for Some Shit? nah buddy thats your revenge now #opdnd #no guys i would never vague post about opdnd on here whatever could you mean #opdnd lore vagueposting #two mutuals will understand these tags and all this shit #teehee :) #digitaldevilsposts

[slippery-minghus]

hmm. had an actual conversation with nightmare coworker today that seemed mutually productive. she apologized for saying some bullshit that hurt my feelings and i clarified that my intentions are to help not to undermine her, and we both agreed that there's no competition against each other and that it's the lack of growth in our role that's the problem. it was...productive.

and further cementing for me that it is time to begin making my Exit. i will be sending out my resume to a few places this weekend.

i'm still processing the conversation, and am struggling to place myself in where i am responsible to better my behavior. because i genuinely don't want to be an ass, even though i really don't like this lady and will jump for joy the day i never have to see her again. she stated that she knows my intentions aren't to hurt her, and that she thinks i'm very kind. i apologized for if my behavior came off as undermining her, and said that my intentions are only to better my own growth—and that i know she's trying to succeed too. i validated her feelings, and complemented the effort she is putting in.

where i'm struggling with is: am i in the wrong/causing harm and needing to change if the issue is that her feelings are incongruent with what she knows of my intentions? her feelings are her responsibility (WOW i almost typed "her feelings are my responsibility". i feel like that's a freudian slip) and she states that she knows i don't mean to hurt her. i'm going to try to be more clear in wording my intentions with her (she feels like me trying to take work off her plate is to undermine her. when really, i'm caught up and see her getting overwhelmed, and i want to help and also have something to do since i'm bored).

but i'm really struggling to look at my role in this and pass judgement on myself. i can and want to do better, and i don't think i did anything wrong, but i'm always so hesitant to say it's not my fault or i didn't do something bad. like i can't trust my judgement on that. my intentions were good, her bad feelings are ones caused by her insecurities, which she more or less has expressed to be aware that they are not true—the hurtful thing she said to me, she acknowledged was said out of hurt and not what she actually thinks. so, is it fair to say i'm not the bad guy? i'm not in the wrong? i know good intentions that still result in harm don't absolve anyone, but when the things that are clashing are insufficient communication and reactive insecurities... i'm not a monster, am i?

#well. i AM probably a monster for how much i dislike this lady #but i don't ACT on it #and i genuinely couldn't care less about her. i participate in decent human pleasantries because i am a decent human. #and at work we're stuck together #the thing that's irked me so much about this conversation is just.. her self centeredness #that she thinks everyone is out to get her. to undermine her. whatever. #bitch nobody cares about you enough one way or the other to put in that kind of effort. i sure don't #i empathize but i do not sympathize. to feel that pit that makes you feel like the worst kind of center of attention #i get it. but genuinely you are not the main character and no one is going to spend their limited time and energy to slowly attack you #you are not the cat with all the knives pointed at it #it's a terrible feeling to feel like you are! but when it influences your behavior to the point that you are making snide comments #to people who have no option not to interact with you then uh. then you're in the wrong buddy #and the people around you (who cannot easily leave! bc work!) should not have to bend over backwards to assure you #that they're not pointing knives at you. to protect themselves from your feelings making you say mean shit #like yes. i can be more clear with my intentions. i'm generally not the greatest at that. but my baseline that i want to #modify my behavior from is NOT one that a regular well adjusted person would take as anything but kind #and if a regular well adjusted person got a little offput by me volunteering to take work off their hands we would've had a very chill #3 sentence conversation about it MONTHS AGO. #i understand and respect (even if i find it annoying and overbearing) the need for me to announce my intentions like im working in a kitchen #and saying 'hot water' or 'knife' as i move around other people but we shouldn't have reached this conclusion this way #and frankly who's to fucking say me being more clear with my intentions will only feed the flames of her thinking i'm out to get her! #'i caught up on my stuff and your plate looks full. i'm bored. anything i can do to help?' could be a pointed knife for all i know!! #and if it is- and my actions still hurt her in that scenario- am i still responsible for the hurt caused?? #like WHERE DOES IT FUCKING E N D ? #personal #*exhales* okay i feel better now #i just hate talking about my interactions with her bc i just want NOTHING to do with it. i want her out of my head!! #but until i process it i can't let go #and i'm still going to have to go over all of this with my shrink tomorrow #it just makes me mad how much of my time this bitch takes up. i'm not getting paid to think about work right now!!!!

[bloooops]

does anyone have a smartwatch and do you rate it

#on the one hand i feel like i won't get much use out of it or i'll be obsessed with it for 3 months and get over it #on the other hand it's only a couple hundred bucks so not a huge loss #mostly i wanna track my sleep/hr #also when i go for a walk around the block my phone's like you walked 4km! like buddy no i did not lol