#and then i was thinking about. a lot of things. with actual mental energy and desire to pursue them

[remindingpersephone]

Here we go again

Hi gang. I'm back on my Chris-Get's-Healthy kick, again. I know I've talked about this and asked for your help in the past. I am once again attempting to quit sugar and work out more.

If you have offered me advice in the past and are tired of my requests, yet again, for advice and ideas, I understand. I get it. Believe me, no one is more tired of my bullshit and my inability to stick to a regimen and make the healthy choices than I am.

This last time I was derailed by my mom's illness and death. I just did not have the mental space or physical energy to commit to disciplined nutritional choices and consistent work outs while taking care of her. But the reasons don't really matter because there were excuses before this one, and on and on. I have been starting and giving up on, healthy living routines since I was 18 years old. Let's do the math, that's 30 years!

A little background: I am not a yo-yo dieter. I very slowly put on weight starting with my first desk job at 20 and never dropped it. The weight has never bothered me. I am a confident woman who has never needed to fit into a six 6. I am also single by choice and nothing in the last 30 years has given me a reason to change my mind about this.

This situation now is that I'm looking hard at 50 and the little aches and pains: the trick knee, the occasional sciatica, the feet that get a little too sore too soon, are, I feel, all red flags signaling that hitting snooze on my health is no longer an option.

I truly believe that fitness and nutritional eating are not only the key to staying fit and active, but I think if I just commit and get through those first few tough months, I would actually like it.

Lately I've been drinking my Dr. Pepper and eating my high-calorie cheesy pasta and lots of sourdough bread (all my favorites), but they just haven't been as satisfying as they once were. [Sidebar: I realize some of this could be residual depression and grief making life just not as wonderful as it once was. That will take time.]

Mostly, I'm just tired of giving the "I have got to get my health in order" thoughts the mental real estate in my brain. I need to deal with it so I can move on from it. So it is not such big part of my daily thoughts.

My long-winded and self-indulgent post here is just to ask once again - and I swear for the last time - what do you all find works for you as far as fitness and nutrition goes? My fitness goals are:

to get stronger and improve flexibility and mobility while protecting the joints and ligaments

staving off osteoporosis

alleviating some peri-menopause symptoms

My nutrition goals are:

to kick the sugar addiction once and for all and change my palate so I don't crave sweet things so much

prevent diabetes/heart disease, etc. before they start

improving gut health

I welcome all comments and advice, and that includes the tough-love "girl, you have got to get your shit together!"

#fitness and nutrition #here we fucking go again

[egg-emperor]

this bday feels more special than usual because there's a lot of big changes coming up in my life and this begins to kick that off in a sense so I've been reflecting on a bunch of stuff

I feel like I'm really on the other side of so much bad painful soul sucking shit now. like I feel I can truly confidently say it this time. FINALLY. I held onto bad things that were doing me so much harm mentally and physically for years and I really struggled to finally let go of a lot of things I should have for the past couple. but now it's really all over and like I can start to move on and heal for real

some huge changes to my personal life are coming up, most of which I'm not going to share but I'm pretty excited about and think will have a big positive impact on me. I'm working hard to make beneficial changes to my life in every way I can now in health and living, as exhausting as it can be with my constant chronic pain and fatigue. I finally have the will and determination to try

it's a waiting game in regards to my health with waiting on referrals but I've done what I've needed to so far with appointments to set it in motion and I'm proud of myself. after years of neglecting myself and my suspected condition, I've finally started it! and I've found out that stress factually affects it very badly, so I have to let go of the things that hurt and stress me out for good

I'm also truly accepting that I'm not a very well liked person to a lot of people. it doesn't matter because there are surely as many who like me too. I see kindness and support from others just as much as hate and I need to put all my focus and energy into the former alone. I want to look as grateful and appreciative as I am, not caught up in negativity. my mind can be a negative place but I'm working on it

and of course as usual, I'm going to keep being myself and following my heart and expressing my passion the way I want. because I'm never going to give up the things I enjoy and repress myself because of the disapproval of others

I feel like I can start looking forward and I'm feeling much more positive about things over all. in a few months time my living situation, hopefully my physical health, and my mindset will hopefully be improved. and it actually has me looking forward to seeing what the future holds

I've been through a lot of tough shit and pain and did some stupid shit along the way but I learned a lot about myself and what I want and need through it and I'm happy to finally be making all the right changes. I'm really glad I feel like I'm on the otherside of it, especially after how bad the past couple of years have been especially for me

and I just wanna say thank you to everyone who has supported me and stuck around when I was struggling and will be here to see the better version of myself and enjoy my blog. it means the world to me 💜

now I'm gonna go out and have a good bday today!

[thatonebabybat]

Hey btw having depression is not a requirement for being goth and if you think it is I don't like you. That's a whole chronic illness, not a part of your "goth mindset"/"aesthetic". Please reflect on that.

#“depression makes you introspective and deep” no it just makes you periodically think everyone wants you dead for varying amounts of time #and makes it hard to get up and go to work and eat and sleep and talk to people and do literally anything #if you have depression and you're goth I'm proud of you because being an active part of a subculture is dedication and time and energy #shit's hard. love yall #I understand it usually comes from a place of misunderstanding but don't romanticize people's disabilities pls #mentally ill ppl have it hard enough without you Doing That #goth #goth subculture #gothblr #gothgoth #gothic #I'm mentally ill btw I should clarify that. wont go into details abt it but #I'm speaking from a place of not wanting people to treat my trauma like a fun afternoon activity that you have to do to be goth #you can still relate to and enjoy plenty of goth music without being diagnosed with a chronic illness like major depressive disorder #like a lot of songs are just about concepts like heartbreak or periods of grief or introspection but those are things most people experienc #disabled ppl might experience them differently or more intensely but they're widespread experiences nonetheless. #you don't need a mental illness to “get it” it came free with your humanity actually. you can think/feel deeply abt shit without a diagnosi #I'll stop rambling though #goth music #goth aesthetic #gothcore #mental illness #mental health #depression #goth is about music

[nexus-nebulae]

odd thing we've noticed. the less okay we are the smaller our active system gets

#like logically you'd think we'd get more members while stressed but we don't usually #we actually split way more often when we're feeling okay and alive #i think it has something to do with mental bandwidth #like when mental health bad we don't have enough mental energy to put towards the system #so we just. reduce a lot in size. to make the workload easier #like a few months ago we had about 100+ people active at once all rotating out frequently and cofronting a TON #and now we're down to like. three or four active the rest really only able to be active for a few minutes at a time #we're just too exhausted to deal with the chaos of so many people so it kinda. slows down a ton #it's hard to get used to when everything was So Loud before. its kinda scary sometimes #like damn. i cant just call Incredibly Specific Task Guy to deal with this task i really cannot do right now. that kinda sucks #but knowing that this is like. more bc of the fact that we Can't Deal With Much More Than This makes it a little easier #we're a bit like my current computer. shit ass RAM bc its got like 50 malware (illnesses) on it #and once i get a new computer (get a little better and more functional) i can get back to multitasking #side note my god my RAM on this computer is shit running tumblr and minecraft at the same time totally breaks it #like it makes the Entire Computer run at 10 fps it's Great #i'm getting a new one at the end of this month hopefully #and hopefully Actually Nice Thing Accomplished will also help brain a lot #also not having to stress about how annoying to use our computer is should help lmao

[arthur-r]

what’s really embarrassing is my roommate on the phone with his mom saying “yeah i’ve been getting really sloppy i haven’t cleaned in a week it’s terrible” and my side of the room is just like that. all of the time. and i feel guilty but he also hasn’t ever said anything to my face he moved my stuff some at the beginning of the year but has never talked to me about it and i’m also so fucking ill that i just cant really handle adding that to my list while trying to also not fail school. so here i am being a terrible person i guess. did i tell you guys about turtle-person. have i showed my bracelets. i’m gonna go to sleep but in the morning i need to show my bracelets

#help i have work tomorrow. i also feel sick and strange. wish me luck #the sun was around today which was incredible but also i think it gave me too much mental energy #cause for the first time in forever i had the brightness of spirit to go for a walk. but that’s not the same as having the blood flow for it #so i think i overexerted myself cause of being finally happy and mentally energized i forgot about being physically disabled #i also had to explain POTS to somebody today and she was literally like ‘oh is that the thing where you need to have salt’ and NO like #i do have a really high salt intake to cope with POTS. but that’s not the fucking thing yknow?? like no that’s not what the thing i have is #it has nothing to do with salt. salt is a fun little coincidence that it can help with water retention which in turn helps with POTS #and it raises blood pressure is i think the other reason? but anyway idk i would honestly rather she just not know about it than have like #that very particular tiktok version of it like i am so glad for internet knowledge being spread and stuff and i mean. i guess even the posts #that i’m about to complain about are good for making people feel like they’re not alone. so maybe it’s fine. but i was going to complain of #the videos that are like ‘‘that one POTS friend’’ and it’s just like. salty food. instead of like. having to sit down?? BEING FATIGUED?? #and like whatever. whatEVER but i wish it wasn’t getting conflated with one particular little way of treating it. even though i use that way #i don’t have needs-a-lot-of-salt-disease. like that’s not the point. that’s not the issue. it’s not a salt deficiency. salt just helps #and it doesn’t FIX it. it just helps. that’s all #ANYWAY EVERYTHING IS FINE. i feel sick though. but i’m gonna sleep and i’ll be fine #i miss before i had a job cause then i could sleep all day if i skipped class and it would be really nice. but now i have a job i would be #missing on my responsibilities for. and I don’t actually have accommodations. but im gonna sleep i’ll be fine #and library book cart is actually so rollator. like as far as being able to walk the library situation is such a win #anyway i’m gonna go to sleep now. but yeah idk i’m sick and a mess what else is new. but i have something whatever i’m good theres something #unrequited love for life or something like that. ok im gonna go to bed sorry for being weird and strange all the time!!!! #me. my post. mine. #delete later

[jocelynships]

I totally didn’t cry over the fact the X-Men aren’t real last night before bed haha who does that

It’s me. I do that.

#in my defense this has been such a shit week at work #and I’m like. barely hanging on with everything rn #I gotta get through today but idk if I have the strength #and I just want my family rn #rewatching WAXTM and then X-Men 97 finally coming out just. reminded me how much I love these guys #and god infucking missed them #however it just reminds me how much it hurts that they aren’t real tho #anyways I was gonna go hang out in the parks tomorrow but uh #out of state spring breakers are coming #so it’s probably gonna be too busy #and I’m just physically and mentally exhausted #I think I’m just gonna stay home and work on commissions #to the people I owe art I promise it’s coming I’m working on things a lot slower than I’d like #and I feel terrible about it tbh #work has just been sucking me dry and I have no energy #I haven’t even been drawing for myself #anyways. I promise I’m working on stuff I just need actual energy and not to sleep all fucking day

[loregoddess]

back on my nonsense (I'm replaying Three Hopes)

#between that and Houses it was the less mentally taxing to replay bc I don't have to keep track of as many things #also since my main thing is that I want to get class mastery for everyone in everything #the mental fuzz is real and I just wish things would Stop Happening so I could try to recover a bit of energy #until then though no new games bc I can't devote the time to really enjoy them only replays of stuff I don't have to think about too hard #and anyhow for as lackluster as the story writing is #Hopes is stupidly fun to play #like truly the ideal mix of Warriors and FE gameplay #and I'm on a harder difficulty to try and grind out more exp and hopefully I get more nonsense weapons #nothing will ever beat my favorite Gradivus w/ the +10 to basic and strong attacks but I might find some other nice weapons #also it'd be really nice to see if I could find this one unique battle quote I sweat I remember reading #bc I was thinking of making art for the FE rarepair thing and I'd love to use the quote if it actually exists in an art #but I have yet to find it in ANY of the current scripts but they're also missing a lot of optional battle dialogue SO #fingers crossed I didn't misread another battle quote bc of how hectic some of the maps get #anyhow I actually really do love this game a lot it's so fun to play #oracle of lore

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Not to sound like an ass, but how could you let Heartbound languish for two years?

Hmmmm... what could have possibly caused *anything* to languish for two years?

Covid.

Straight up.

Ever since the pandemic started, my creativity has been completely depleted. These little ficlets and snippets are about as much I can manage, and as I'm sure you've noticed, these ficlets and snippets are a far cry from the depth and scope of my actual fics. My actual fics, like Heartbound, consume a significant amount of time, energy, and mental bandwidth. Which I don't always have.

I'm working on getting back to where I used to be, creativity wise. But I'm also trying to treat myself with grace. The pandemic has been traumatic even for those who haven't contracted it, and it's altered how I completely live my life, and I'm trying to be conscious of that.

My brain is not a machine. In fact, in the past two years I've learned it is in fact quite squishy and unreliable, seeing as covid also coincides with me getting my depression and adhd appropriately medicated, which may also have played a role in my lack of creativity.

All of this to say that I'm being gracious with myself and treating myself with the same gentle encouragement I'd treat a best friend. I've treated myself horribly in the past, and honestly... I'm too old for that shit.

I'm soft. I'm sensitive. I'm healing.

Also, languishing?

Bish, it's hibernating.

#personal #also yes... you do come across as a bit of an ass #you may have meant it as a compliment but it doesnt really come off that way #fic writers do this for free #i am no different #stuff happens #even if it wasnt a collective trauma #what if i just wasnt in the right mood to continue it? #that would be equally valid #its one thing to ask if i intend to continue (which i have already indicated i do) #but to ask why i havent continued sooner is incredibly personal and actually quite rude #yall are not entitled to anything i put out #as ive said before i write primarily for myself #i love to hear what yall think about it and get other feedbacks #but i write it bc i want to read it #not bc someone wants or expects me to #especially my actual fics #dear god they take a lot of time and energy and mental capacity

[weirdlizard26]

help not me suddenly feeling like shit when theres a sudden power outage in a cartoon. literally the funniest thing that couldve come out of those no electricity months (sorry ended up venting in the tags?????)

#wl26 #ninja turtles: oh no a power outage caused by an unexpected cataclysm! me: oh they just like me fr..... #altho if im being honest the power outages werent that bad #i got to draw a lot. and uni was a lot less intense bc nobody could do shit #its honestly worse now that power is on all the time. for me personally #war stuff #kind of. but tagging just in case #guy who somehow thrives during the horrors actually #idk maybe its about the change #life has gotten so unchanging and awful #i want to move back to my room so bad. i miss windows and sunlight and i miss not having to close the curtains at night #and like. the first few months were hell sure #constant gunfire. shit exploding every few minutes. walls shaking. #but in some way. i felt better then than i do now #now its just a waiting game. and im losing. my mind #back then it was a survival game. and i felt like im doing something. even if it was just surviving #but most of all. i didnt have to go to uni gdkfnjg #which is so stupid. its so stupid that THATS the worst thing i can think of rn. #its so stupid that worrying about uni takes all of my mental energy #when i should be like. idk. trying not to go insane. instead im just going insane quicker #anyways the point is i want things to go back to normal but also no uni. i cant do this shit anymore

[bomnun]

becoming acquainted with and talking to someone who’s kind of a hobby fansite and sees shinwon almost every week widened my perspective a bit, but one of the main things it does is actually make me admire him more. his mental resilience and the way he goes to work week after week, being friendly with the fans who come to see him. he’s well aware that things are a mess and the fans are beyond exhausted too, and all of them would rather see him under very different circumstances, but he still greets everyone in a friendly way with a smile that doesn’t seem forced, and listens to and empathizes with people. his friends have comebacks, multiple of them even, and he’s always supportive of them too. i know we don’t know celebrities, but I really think he’s strong for continuing to do this, for over a year and a half, and he seems to Care and aim to be warm and supportive.

#he was really tired on Saturday when they did the open studio #so he was all dressed up but the people who didn’t get in #(the raffle to get in was a whole mess and it was mostly unis who bias other members who got in #so many of the kr Shinwon Stans I follow were a bit sad about it) #and the ppl who usually (it’s not always the same people every day but there are a few who come semi regularly) #meet him waited but he didn’t come out #and it seems he was really exhausted that day and had some other thing he did before the recording #bc today he was trying to make up for it to the people who came #and from them it doesn’t sound like it was forcible or compensation you know #I still think Bamra should set up some kind of schedule or notify people when he’ll want to come out or not #bc it is tiring to meet fans every week like that #and keep a mask up if you don’t feel great mentally (which he says he doesn’t nowadays) #idk this is super rambly probably kind of overstepping fan idol boundaries a little … I shouldn’t think this much #t says #also I can’t imagine…talking… constantly #but he also does seem happy to see fans there a lot of the time #like actually happy . not acting happy #so it would be best for everyone if they can think of a way to schedule it somehow :/ or plan so it’s not every time they record #but often enough for both him and the fans to get positive energy from it #in general he likes meeting fans and seeing fans a lot

[mybrainproblems]

Do you ever think about continuing ALYNA? Especially with AoT ending? ALYNA really was a brilliantly well thought out piece of writing. I still reread it every now and again. Thank you for sharing it with us. Hope all is well with you!

Oh nonnie, this is actually such a lovely ask to get.

I will be honest and say that every so often I do think about ALYNA but the story is dead by virtue of a series of extremely unfortunate events; mental health issues, work issues, people being unpleasant in my inbox, the notebook with all of my plot notes sustaining heavy water damage (mostly the latter)... I think at some point I must have thrown out that notebook since I didn't find it when I was moving a few months ago (and I did actively look for it). Enough time had already passed by the time my notes got destroyed that I didn't remember a lot of the final arc which was like. The "tie everything up" arc (-_-;) so there are some vague bits that I remember but I don't have the motivation to try and remember or think up a "new" way to wrap it all up. However I do remember exactly what the epilogue was and where everyone ended up. I feel like saying that and not sharing it is kinda cruel but there is this tiny tiny part of me that always thinks that someday I will finish it and I don't want to spoil the plot... that I will likely never write. Sorry about that, nonnie.

It's funny bc I only know aot ended since I followed one last final blogger who was still into it but also I stopped reading the manga in fall 2015 and have no interest in engaging with it again. From what I understand it took some ideological Turns that sounded really unpleasant.

And super seriously while I don't want to engage with the fandom this was a nice message to get and I appreciate it a lot. Pretty much the only asks about ALYNA that I've been getting for literal years are berating me for not finishing it and somehow performing a bait and switch for discontinuing before I got to the ereri of it all by readers who went into it knowing it was incomplete. So yeah. This was such a nice ask to get like I never think about the fact that ppl might continue to reread it bc why would anyone want to read or reread a discontinued fic? So nonnie, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for sending this and being kind.

(And I'm doing well, I hope you are too.)

#nonnie this ask kinda makes me want to pick it up again but the lack of notes really puts the kibosh on it #like there are so many loose ends to wrap up in the final arc & i don't think readers were even aware of some things getting set up #god. this is reminding me how much i was looking forward to reader reactions to the marco reveal teased out over time and also #reader reactions to how the plot was tied up in the final arc like i do not remember a lot of it but it was really complex and detailed #which is *why* it's such an issue that my notes were destroyed. i just do not remember enough to not be basically coming up with the #plot all over again... which i just don't have the mental energy for and i'm sorry for that #i guess i'll settle the cliffhanger if you're still reading this: it's marco who dies and nifa lives... sorry if you hate me for that #if you don't hate me for killing marco and want to de-anon i'd actually be fine to chat a bit more privately about what i do remember #i don't want to engage directly with the larger fandom or manga but privately i'm okay with #wishing you all the best for your kindness nonnie #ask a brain problem #anonymous

[musical-chick-13]

Because I am aware of how people operate on the Internet: courtesy of being about to post a fic with some uhhhhh much-maligned subject matter, I may turn off anonymous asks for a few weeks.

#or months even. depending on how long it takes to get the whole thing finalized/put up #to be blunt: it involves a hard kink that a lot of people think is Inherently Evil™ #and I just simply don't have the energy to field potential harassment over that lmao #in my experience people are less interested in committing to harassment if they have to directly attach their names to it #I will continue calling this: #the fic that's a lot #including when I post the actual fic so that people can blacklist it if that's a thing they need to do for their mental & emotional safety #or because they're a minor. MINORS /PLEASE/ DO NOT READ THIS FIC OR INTERACT WITH IT IN ANY WAY I MEAN IT #(also: said hard kink is. probably not the one you would assume based on canon dialogue.) #by 'about to post' I mean like. hopefully next weekend. I said I wanted to get ch. 3 completed b4 I posted ch. 1 and uh. we're almost there #'why have 3 chapters taken you so long' you see I have not written this in chronological order. I have been COMPLETELY at the whims #of whatever my brain decided it was able to work on during any given day where I had time and energy to write #my god this thing is going to be about 20-thousand words it was NOT supposed to be 20-thousand words #IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE 7-OR-8-THOUSAND WORDS

[shroomierambles]

Not to jump the gun but I think I’ve unlocked the secret to my executive function ohmygod

I realized the roots of my procrastination/executive function issues & after processing it, it’s like that wall that’s stopped me from doing anything has come down (or at least shrunk down to an easily jump-over-able height)

#it’s only been 2 days of Being Able To Do Tasks so we’ll see if I can keep it up #but I was thinking about shit & was like “yeah I use avoidance as a coping mechanism’’ #and like we been knew but I started thinking about back in school when I was highly avoidant of things I needed to do #and it was because there was more shit to do than I physically had the energy for and ability to actually do #when I had VERY poor mental health and no one helping me & my parents didn’t follow through when I said I needed help #so I was in all this shit alone & literally couldn’t do a lot of the things I was meant to #so instead of doing what I could (because it was never enough & I’d always be a million miles behind) #I just shut down & did nothing #and it was also a lot about lack of control #being forced into a structure that wasn’t working for me & where I always felt l was failing & had no control #so avoidance became what felt like the only way I could get through #so then once I realized all that I could flag it as an unhealthy coping mechanism that I’m no longer in the position to need #and in the last couple of years I’ve been making lots of progress on prioritizing my mental health #so nowadays once I see something as unhealthy behavior I’m able to recognize it when it happens & move to healthier behavior instead #so now it would seem: avoidance flagged as unhealthy & detrimental to my mental health. solution: checklists & confronting tasks on my list! #AND I think it’s getting way easier to tell the difference between my avoidance & my need for a rest or my lack of spoons! #ok I’m gonna go watch an adventure time episode cause I did several of my tasks so imma take a solid 15 or 20 break then keep at it! :)

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him. #bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?'' #'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

[harmoonix]

🪻👑𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧👑🪻

(Astrology Observations)

👑: Aries Degrees on the Midheaven 1°, 13°, 25°...Babe you know you are born to be up there... to ascend and to be a good leader for others, to lead people on their good path

👑: Leo Degrees 5°, 17° 29° on the Midheaven (MC), you secretly wish people will give you more attention or focus more on you! Just like the royalty you are!! (Or MC in Leo)

👑: Capricorn Degrees 10°, 22° on the Midheaven (MC), you know you are that BISH!! People respect you and your ambitions!! Truly a hardworking person and very devoted (or MC in Capricorn)

👑: Midheaven (MC) with Aquarius Degrees combo 11°, 23° are true influencers, they inspire people, they invent and create new things, they give life and the first breath to everything (or MC in Aquarius)

👑: Speaking about Aquarius, Aquarius Risings have a very big potential to be influencers as well, to inspire people and to create things, what makes them different is that they have an unnatural energy that attracts people, examples: Nicki Minaj, Aaliyah, Orlando Bloom

👑: Cancer/Virgo/Scorpio/Capricorn Moons > They have an easier time to embody their emotional nature, because moon in these signs indicates deep nurturing

👑: Jupiter in Libra/Jupiter in the 7th house: Girl...I love your energy, cus I can relate to it, you definitely have an expansive energy when it comes to romantic relationships and luck

👑: Aries/Venus/Mars/Risings have that leader energy in their chart, and I rarely met people with such placements, but when I do.. they definitely strike people with this big energy

👑: Mercury in the 1st house natives omg I rarely talk about them..let's start it, I love their energy, these natives are so easy to talk with and they can easily express their emotions to the word

👑:I truly believe natives with Neptune or Uranus in the 1st house even Jupiter in the 1st house, have a spiritual path they need to follow or to connect

👑: Leo Moons/Moon in the 5th house have their own pride but they actually have a lot of things to be proud about so is not like they are dramatic about that

👑: Leo Venus/Venus in Leo Degrees 5°, 17°, 29° want to be treated as a royalty by their partners and in their romantic relationships (Sometimes Leo in the 7th house can give the same vibes)

👑: Leo in the 7th house can actually manifest as having also prideful partners but that's not 100% totally bad, some of them just may know their worth and value and that's okay

👑: Virgo in the 7th house/Mercury in the 7th house have a unique connection with their partners, especially at communication topic

👑: Virgo Mars/Mars in the 6th H need a lot of mental stimulation, they're extremely inteligent and have a sharp tongue

👑: Pisces Mars/Mars in the 12th house can manifest, the native is extremely passionate and romantic they're also creative ans often natives with those placements practice a lot of sports

👑: Taurus Risings have their Scorpio in the 7th house which makes them to attract powerful people in their life but also envious about their relationships

👑: Asteroid Destinn (6583) can have the energy similar to the north node, indicating your destiny/life path

In the 7th house - probably getting into a lots of relationships and experiencing marriage

In the 10th house - focusing on your career having a chance to get succesful in this life

In the 12th house - A truly spiritual path, this is not easy but is rewarding along the way, this indicates focusing on healing yourself

In the 4th house - This one is very confusing for me at least (because I have this placement), focusing on the family life or creating your own family/household

*I think for a better explanation try to read your destinn persona chart, I think it will be more helpful*

👑: A Retrogade planet in your chart gives you a chance to "repair" or to "finish" something you couldn't do in a past life

👑: People with lots of placements in the 3rd house can be hella attracted to cars, especially a fire or earth sign in this house

👑: Anyone out there with Vertex in the 8th house?? How you stay with your healing/sexual/rebirthing life cycle?? Like Literally 🫥🫥🫥🫥

👑: Saturn - Mars aspects = They're really ambitious when they have a plan or a strategy, + They may look harsh at first but soft/kind inside

👑: Lilith in the 9th/11th houses, these placements make Lilith to seek for freedom, so try your best to not hang around with people who can take your freedom!!

👑: South Node in the 9th house, they can either be attached or detached for religion, love - hate relationship with the religion thing, religious trauma can occur, try to be open minded as you can

👑: South Node in the 7th house, probably someone who depended a lot on others especially on their partners in a past life, you need to be more independent!!

👑: Lilith/True Lilith (h12 or h13) in the 7th house can attract mischievous partners, the partners can be intense, jealousy and even hate from other people

👑: If you have a bad day talking with someone who has Sagittarius Placements can be the best thing to do since they have the most optimistic mindset ever and a good humour

👑: Jupiter in Sagittarius or in the 9th house is truly an underatted placement, this gives you enough abundance and luck to travel over the seas and to explore more kinds of cultures

👑: Guys trust me is so so hard to figure it when you have a "love asteroid" in the 2nd house imo.. because out of all houses, the 2nd house is mostly related with money,value,food etc..I find it so hard to put things together when it comes to this house I swear 😭 (It is a house ruled by Venus but not indicating beauty or love by 100%}

👑: Pluto in the 11th house have a great status in social media, because they can be pretty powerful in that domain, also attracting people who only want to profit out of you..take care ❤️‍🩹

👑: Pluto in the 6th house don't have it easy, they're really that type of person thatno one truly knows what is going through because they don't like to share such things ❤️‍🩹

👑: Try to hang out with someone with the Moon in fire houses (1st, 5th, 9th) because they really know how to enjoy life and how to have fun

👑; A lot of mutable placements in the chart (Gemini/Sagittarius/Pisces/Virgo) shows a person who is able to change their nature and being able to change different situations

👑: Lilith in earth houses (2nd/6th/10th), Lilith can often question about her worth and value in those houses, they often have a common thing together and is that they give intimidating energy

👑: Some facts about your ascendant sign element:

Water Ascendant - You often have an approach to life that is deeply rooted in your emotional body 💙

Earth Ascendant - You have an inner force that makes you overcome any challenge during stressful and hard times 💚

Air Ascendant - You encounter everything with enthusiasm and curiosity, approaching life with love and an optimistic mindset 🤍

Fire Ascendant - Passion is vital for those natives, you have a great physical power and a great ambition 🧡

👑: Libra Moons/Moon in the 7th house - Your soul is seeking for love and romance even if you try to hide it, is the nature of your soul, and something that cannot be changed

👑: Jupiter aspecting Venus, the native is blessed with beauty and love, they are charming and chatty, in general they're pretty popular

👑: Saturn in the 7th house/Saturn in Libra - Sometimes this placement makes you to realize that is better if you don't rush with love relationships and let everything happen from fate

👑: Taurus Moons/Moon in the 2nd house should value themselves a lot and to make it a top priority!! Especially when it comes to loving yourself

👑: Jupiter aspecting Moon, these natives are full of love towards their passions and desires, Jupiter also makes the Moon to be more spiritual

👑: Moon aspecting ascendant, they have such a pure/feminine/calming energy, you can feel they're kind souls

👑: Jupiter in the 5th house/Jupiter in Leo find joy and happiness in their hobbies and things that make them happy! they're so talented!!

❤️🪻 Happy Women's Day!! To all women. To every girl, princess, queen!! To your mom aswell🪻❤️ 8th of March is a very beautiful day to celebrate ❤️🪻 be all blessed in this beautiful day!

#astrology #birth chart #astro observations #astrology observations #astro notes #placements #astro community #horoscope #ascendant #astroblog #astro seek #astro com #women's day

[beloved-calypso]

・ ゜ ʚɞ ゜ ゜𝖂𝖍𝖆𝖙'𝖘 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖘𝖊𝖝𝖚𝖆𝖑 𝖆𝖕𝖕𝖊𝖆𝖑 ♡ ・ ゜ ʚɞ ゜ ゜‎♡‧₊˚✧ ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა ✧˚₊‧♡ 18+!

♡ “𝒮𝑒𝓃𝓈𝓊𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓎 𝒾𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒷𝑒𝒾𝓃𝑔, 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝑜𝓊𝓇𝒸𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒸𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓉𝓎, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑒𝓃𝑒𝓇𝑔𝓎 𝑜𝒻 𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓅𝒶𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈.” – 𝒥𝒶𝓁𝒶𝒿𝒶 𝐵𝑜𝓃𝒽𝑒𝒾𝓂 ♡

All pictures and gifs are not mine but belong to their original artists. ♡

I. -> II. -> III. -> IIII.

ᴍᴅɴɪ!!!

ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ꜱɪᴍɪʟᴀʀ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ꜱᴇᴅᴜᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴀɴᴛᴀꜱɪᴇꜱ ᴘᴀᴄ, ʙᴜᴛ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜱᴜʙᴊᴇᴄᴛ ʀᴇɢᴀʀᴅʟᴇꜱꜱ, ꜱᴏ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ!

~ XOXO 💋🎀

౿૮꒰ྀི pile 1 ๑◞꒱ა

[Ace of Pentacles, Knight of Swords, Five of Cups]

You are a golden opportunity pile 1. People would feel lucky to have you, and they have fantasies that they know for sure you can fulfill. There is a steadiness about you, an abundance of confidence and ease that makes your presence big and undeniable. The closest thing I can liken this energy to is someone in a workplace setting being the number one go to, someone who is fast, reliable, and always gets the job done well and beyond. They are seen as a gem to the people they work with and are a lucky treasure, a constant that never disappoints. This makes your sexual appeal grand and constant. You can never fall below expectations, and you are seen as rare to find and appealing to keep. Always efficient and unshakable. You appear to be almost fearless. Nothing seems to faze you, and you give off the energy of liking challenges. You're very determined and passionate, but you also are a bit of a wildcard. I think this pile can be a bit all over the place, but not so much that you come off as neurotic. You just appear daring. Experimental. You're firm in your wants and needs and are willing to meet your partners halfway, but I also think you're unafraid in showing your distaste. You're vocal, but you won't let anyone cross your boundaries. I feel like you have such a strong and unwavering front that people become more curious about you and want to disassemble you to expose who you are underneath. Not many people carry themselves as well as you do, and that only makes others more and more inquisitive of you. They feel you may hide behind a shell, and want to explore the parts of you others can't see, even if they involve tears, and sadness, and pain, and anger, people want to see that come out because it's raw and authentic, and makes you more relatable, more vulnerable, and more sexy.

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧

౿૮꒰ྀི pile 2 ๑◞꒱ა

[Page of Swords, The Tower (rx), Death (rx)]

Hm. It took me a minute to decipher this energy, but now I get it. Pile 2, your sex appeal stems from some darkness that's within you, a well of emotions and mental sharpness that create a type of steeliness about you, an appeal for the unknown and possibly dangerous. On the outside, you could have a sort of innocent feel about you. Some of you may actually be innocent but are in denial of this, still growing and maturing into this energy, but for others, you are actually quite experienced and have explored all types of facets of yourself and other people. You know your emotions, triggers, and know how to look deep within your shadows and make use of them (in a healthy way, of course). You want to teach other people how to do these things too. Ya'll are actually quite jaded, beautifully so. A dark manic type. Kind of witchy. Ya'll likely lean towards a pain and pleasure type of dynamic, a type of satisfaction derived from things nonphysical and uncommon. People feel they have to sacrifice something of themselves to get you. I'm getting a fascination with the body, a want, and need to explore other peoples limits, take them for your own, and consume them. People literally feel like you could chew them up and spit them out with ease. Some here may like BDSM, definitely getting knife-play here, dominance and subjugation, but I'm getting a myriad of things here. Lots of kinks. Many unexplainable (some of you are still exploring). People know that you could test their limits and expose them to things they would otherwise never discover. It's super sexy. Moth to a flame kind of thing. Your allure is strong and almost forbidden. I'm thinking people who are taken would love to have you. You are an experience, a once in a lifetime type of opportunity. Maybe long-term relationships don't come easy to you because people fear they will get burned by you, that either you will be too much for them, or you will get bored of them. There's a mix of reactions from others; some think they can corrupt you, others think you will be the one to corrupt them. There's a mixture of ya'll in this reading that can go either way. You're very decadent pile 2.

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧

౿૮꒰ྀི pile 3 ๑◞꒱ა

[The Empress, The Chariot, The Hierophant]

Pile 3, you barely have to try. Your sex appeal is very feminine and relaxed. Ya'll are the epitome of chill and unbothered. I think people just naturally gravitate towards you. You're so far off from everyone else, I'm seeing you have your own orbit. People really don't know where they stand with you because your appearance is hard to change, as you greet people with the same indifference. They can't tell if you like them. People feel you are guarded, and it's hard to have your attention. It gets polarizing reactions of, "I want them even more" to, "Why bother?" Your feminine energy has a strong reaction with masculine energy. Men may especially be competitive over you. You just naturally have what men find desirable. You raise peoples hackles without meaning to. To some, you come off as a prize, someone to impress and win over. If you find men are especially aggressive with their tactics of flirtation, it's because they feel they are trying to fight you to get a piece of you. It may seem that sometimes you find yourself the most sensible person in the room, and everyone else is acting ridiculous. That's because you bring out the primal/dumb side of people (basically their lizard brains). You grasp the attention of the room without noticing or caring, and everyone is busy trying to calculate a game plan to come towards you, while you are just your chill self, avoiding anyone that you don't know (there has to be a bunch of Taurus's here, lol). Sometimes, you're just a prize too hard to get, and talking to you is as hard as trying to reach a princess in a tower. Peoples confidence waivers with you because you're so unpredictable, too. You're someone in particular that has something special going on within them that people are curious to know. They also know they can't come to you with shallow offers. You seem the type to want commitment and more than what people are willing to give off the bat. People have to give their best, or chance being like the rest of the crowd. If you don't get as many offers as you would like, it's just because you're intimidating. Your appeal is kind of unexplainable, really, but powerful.

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧

౿૮꒰ྀི pile 4 ๑◞꒱ა

[The Tower, Judgment, Queen of Swords]

Hmm, your sexual appeal is powerful, too. People here are especially intelligent, quick-witted, and have a cold, untouchable type of look. I think there's some great, show-stopping beauties in this pile, as I'm getting looks that could cut glass. Ya'll however have what they say, a resting bitch face, and while that sounds disenchanting, it's the opposite in your case. That untouchable quality is exactly why people pursue you. You seem like the type that can destroy anyone that crosses you, and that excites certain people. You give off the impression of pure confidence and grace. You have natural elegance is and public appearences may be important to you, so you try to be on your best behavior whenever you're out in the presence of others. Youre booksmart but also streetsmart because you can sense BS 15 miles from you. People think you have a lot of sexual experience, and believe you can show them a plethora of erotic knowledge. You likely attract younger people. They fantasize about you being their teacher and pushing them down a rabbit hole of sexual discovery. People's fantasies of you are so wide ranging because you give them little to go off of. They're stuck playing the guessing game while you keep cool as a cucumber calculating your next moves. You exemplify leadership and attract people that are wanting to be given direction, in and out of the bedroom. Some suitors will have a masochistic desire. Others will have a need to dominate you. A few will try to level with you, but there's something about you that makes people pick a side. You have intense energy. It's like you trigger people's flight or fight response, which seems strange, but just proves you bringing about peoples primal urges. Some of you have the spirit of a dominatrix, and others just naturally fall into a position of control. Your other half of suitors that have just as much as a dominant trait as you do want to see your perfect, pretty facade demolished. They want to strip you of everything that makes you, you, and have you kneel for only them. There's a quote that I'm being reminded of with this pile, and it's about how the pursuit of sex, is actually the pursuit of power. I would say this is true in your case. Also, lot of your suitors see that you have a judgemental eye and feel they can not disappoint you. No one can come to you acting a fool or with foolish proposals. I think you can be quick to cut someone down, and that's a turn on for some. You also have a way with word's and can seduce with your voice. You know exactly what to say to have someone wrapped around your finger. You've mastered the art of persuasion and making appearances. I think you carry yourself with grace and civility. You have an old soul, a reminder of what societies' ideals used to be in older times, but also a reminder of the hidden and heavy erotiscm that came with that time, too. It's very classy, naughty, and elegant all in one.

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧

ᴀɴʏ ᴄʀɪᴛɪᴄɪꜱᴍꜱ ᴏʀ ꜰᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇᴅ. ɪ'ᴍ ᴛᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴀ ɴᴇᴡ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʙʟᴏɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴍ ᴏᴘᴇɴ ᴛᴏ ᴀɴʏ ᴏᴘɪɴɪᴏɴꜱ ᴀꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ɪᴍᴘʀᴏᴠᴇ ɪᴛ. ♡

ᴅɪꜱᴄʟᴀɪᴍᴇʀ

© lolita-bonita — Please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my work on other social media platforms without my permission. This is the only platform that I post this type of content. If you see my work being posted anywhere else, please kindly report them to me. ♡

⊱┈───── ✧

✨️ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ɴᴏᴛᴇ: Tarot is not an exact science, nor can it produce information that is factually true. All things posted are alleged and for entertainment purposes only. The future is fluid, and what may happen is based on your choices and actions, not what I and a deck of cards say. You are still the creator of your future. ✨️

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧

#pick a card #pick a pile #pick a picture #free tarot reading #tarot ask #tarot blog #tarot blr #tarot #tarot reader #exchange readings #free tarot #lolitabonita's #18+ tarot