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arabella111 · 2 years

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hi arabella im sorry for this whole rant but im so pissed of at everything and i feel like ur the only one i can talk to.

i am on verge of crying every time that i look myself in the mirror or opening my camera.. literally i cant anymore with my looks everytime i see a pretty girl i want to cry and im sooo jealous and ik thats shitty of me and i dont want to be like that but its like i have become one of those girls that constantly look for validation for their looks.. the fact that other ppl have also experienced this ( the other anons ) made me feel a bit better abt me bc im literally the same.

when i was young but when i say young ppl would tell me how pretty i am, what a nice body i have, ppl would tell my mok to get me to model, strangers would say how pretty i am then suddenly all this stopped and i dont know what to do.. the fact that as u said to another anon that my assumptions changed thats why makes me feel better bc its not that i am actually ugly but sometimes when im wondering and i think that i wasnt all that when i was little and i might have gotten the compliments bc i was little which is worse bc that means i always have been ugly and i dont like that bc i want to have my own thing and beauty since i was born not go through a whole ass manifesting journey for get a few compliments yk? like rn i feel so average and nothing compared to some other pretty girls like i dont get ANY male attention like nothing and im not ever kver exadeginf and when i say something good abt myself or yk like do jokes atleast im hot and stuff my 'friends' are like 😬.. and if i like a guy im considered iut of his league.. and if i rlly am pretty which im def nkt all that like close to megan fox and all these beautiful women im just there and i get sooo disgusted looking at my pictures and im the mirror..

and what annoys me THE MOST is that i wasnt born already all that and thats what i want not just manifest it and i dont want to revise either and another problem is like i have a few good traits like small nose,clear skin but im still..that.. and ik i have to work on sc and shit but yeah..

and i dont feel guilty abt manifesting other things like intelligence which i always was considered by others dumb but i always thought that beauty was the only thing rhat i had and it proving me wrong is a bid deal to me.. and i dont want tk be called pretty just to feel better yk?.

and the same thing also goes for my body like i had rhis hourglass figure and now i have ir 'sometimes' and i have literally the flatest ass loll and yeah thats it ig im sorry for all this lol :/

it's ok baby, see all you need to do is change your assumptions about yourself that's it. it's okay if you don't believe those assumptions. just persist in them and know they are already yours. you might think it's hard, but trust me, it isn't. you don't have to work your ass off anyways. just call yourself pretty everyday. think of yourself as a goddess. you know your thoughts create your reality right? main reason why you have been living a shitty life is because you assumed so. so why not change your assumptions? what you want is already yours. acknowledge your power. you can change your life in seconds if you want to. all you need is belief in your power.

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halfhappyhooligan · 4 years

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a voltron au? in 2020? it’s more likely than you think

look. LOOK. i know that voltron is stupid and we hate it but lets be honest: everything up until season 3 was pretty good and had lots of potential !!

today i was rewatching voltron and a thought struck me: what if, instead of shiro being cloned, he was chipped and turned to the side of the galra?

so here it is, i did not blink since i thought of this

(warning, i have not seen voltron in a while and this is just knowledge i have stored in my moss brain and stuff i know from rewatching the first season)

au where shiro goes evil bc of what happens @ end of season one instead of the clone thing bc 1) haggar rly could not have made thousands of shiros after bumping into team voltron like what twice? its hella improbable and 2) just… weird

so instead they insert a chip in him that helps them spy and control him just like kuron (the clone) did minus the unlikely storytelling

eventually after the convo with sendak when he was in the pod trying to temp shirp, he does have thoughts about helping zarkon

(“im already infiltrated with the arm, i could just speed up the process by leaving now. save the team the trouble of investing in a leader that’s doomed to fail from the strart.”)

shiro ends up leaving team voltron in season 2 after zarkon goes crazy w the black lion n stuff

^^ this adds to Keith’s reasoning of joining the Blade of Marmora (shiro is his main stability and one of the main reasons he even stuck around with team voltron, so with shiro gone and keith questioning his place as the leader and paladin of the black lion, he decides the BoM is just.. what’s best for him)

obviously lance isn’t happy with this (“you just told me that i’m a valuable member, now you don’t think YOU are? what logic is that?”)

ofc keith goes anyways

lance becomes paladin of the black lion

allura takes on the red lion

who has blue lion? ...idk this isn’t that thought out (maybe matt after pidge finds her family) (which will happen earlier in the plot since we can forget about the miniplot of black no longer responding to shiro)

enter lotor only this time he has a sidekick and what omg its shiro wow

shiro has that bigger version of his arm that was once offered to him

he’s stronger and scary, but his eyes aren’t the same, he has the strength of a galra but lacks the passion

in the fight between lotor and zarkon, (and after, of course lots of self doubt and questioning) shiro comes between them and convinces lotor NOT to kill zarkon

then zarkon kills lotor

everyones like oh shit bc surely someone who’s life was just spared wouldn’t kill the person who seems to have the most power

but he did. bc he’s zarkon. and he’s fckn crazy.

shiro doesn’t go back to team voltron bc its too much too easily

instead he takes the place of lotor in the group of gals

he convinces them all to rebel against the galra

eventually they teach him all about quintessence and all the shit lotor had planned that they can’t do anymore

(lotor wasn’t harvesting alteans in this universe bc what the heck even was that subplot that had little to no relevance to the main storyline?

instead he was trying to find a way to technologically bring back alteans (kinda like how allure’s dad was originally preserved in s1)

i know nothing about How Stuff Works and i dont remember much about quintessence n shit but the basic idea is that when tying in some of a persons artifacts with technology stuff and some quintessence then boom. a weird route from astral projection land to the team is created and ppl can come back or smth idfk

but lotor was never able to get the comet so shiro decides he and the gals will get that comet and try to bring back as many alteans as they can

^ all this while infiltrating as many galra fleets as possible + saving planets under galra empire

they personally visit every planet that lotor was in charge of and release them from galra control

they are able to bring back an altean (its romelle) and she talks abt her friend who lives on the balmera and they go to the balmera and its revealed that it was shay’s great grandmother so romelle asks where shay is and shay’s family is like with team voltron of course

they take her

obviously team voltron, the BoM and the Rebels r very hesitant to make contact but they decide to try it out

keith refuses to meet, instead he’s on the team that stands guard

reunions !!

romelle and shay hit it off and hunk makes a dinner much like roselle’s past (allura and coran also hang out and they all vibe)

lance talks to shiro abt everything to do with keith and shiro is like dude do u??? like him?

and lance is like what? no ofc not—oh shit.

and keith ✨overhears ✨

pidge matt and shiro catch up n shit

meanwhile keith is like Hey Lance Uhhhhhh What The Fuck

they end up being like hey since we’re all here and we hate zarkon what if we make a plan to end the galra’s reign Right Now

so they do

and y’all.. it’s hella baller plan

except something is going wrong and in the middle of an attack zarkon is able to get the upper hand

due to haggar’s magic and lance’s mental and emotional instability, zarkon is able to get in his head

everyone is trying to talk him down but they’re all under a lot of pressure

allura is also conflicted bc she wanted to be black lion bc she wanted to rub it in to zarkon’s face that she was stronger than he and that she could beat him at his own game

but the negativity and instability feeds into zarkon’s power and makes him and haggar stronger as they pull in voltron to finally take over the team and regain their status as the most powerful alien race

hunk realizes this and is like okay can y’all stop being negative? its clearly affecting them in a good way and it makes us an easier target

and pidge is like im literally a child pls i don’t wanna die i just got my family back it can’t end like this

shiro realizes what’s going on and he goes to save them

he uses all his energy, pulling in the positive memories (everything: first learning about space, becoming a teacher, meeting adam, meeting keith, first making team voltron, his friends and family--all of it) to push back zarkon and haggar’s powers and battle once more in the astral realm

in defeating zarkon, shiro loses his life

afterwards keith enters the ship in a hurry and is like where the fuck is shiro where’s my brother what did you do what happened

and team voltron is like hey man.. we are so so sorry

and keith cries because the last thing he ever said to shiro was mean

lance feels like its all his fault since he was supposed to be a good leader

they talk about separately while hunk pidge and allura discuss

krolia is like keith we, ur family, are here for u

and axca is there and shes like um?? hey?? sry for trying to kill u bro

and he’s like i absolutely do not wanna talk i just lost my closest friend

they talk about it later

axca tells keith abt shiro finishing lotor’s work and abt bringing people back and well..

they use the methods to help keith visit shiro in the astral realm

shiro is like oh uh hey i was just having a drink w adam we r happy

and keith is like shiro u fuckhead why would u sacrifice urself

shiro sighs bc cmon keith you KNOW why “remember what i always said? we can’t focus on what went wrong..”

“we’ve got to figure out how to make it right” keith finishes

keith breaks tf down crying and screams apologizing

“i love u shiro. ur a like a big brother to me.”

and shiro is like yeah i know and ilyt but hey. everyone’s safe and happy. im safe and happy. & you deserve to be too. you don’t need me anymore.

so the galra rule is over and everyone goes to their respected planets

romelle and the other alteans as well as some galra babes hang in earth

romelle and shay r in an apartment together and have a garden

allura realizes she may not have been the strongest leader for voltron, and couldn’t stop zarkon on her own but that physical strength doesn’t define her as a whole

her heart is strong enough to care for everyone, so thats what she does

allura starts running an inn for alteans filled with painted sceneries like altea in case anyone ever needs a reminder of home

when lance reunites with his family its a real tearjerker

rachel finally gets her jacket back and veronica is like So.. Axca 👀

the McClain’s host a huge party for everyone and it’s filled with lots of hugs and loud music and even tho lance was way too tired, he danced all night

he wouldn’t trade his family for the world—genetic and chosen

when hunk reunites with his parents they don’t let him out the house for hours, he tells them all about his new best friend shay as well as hundreds of his favorites stories from space

they are so, so proud of him

hunk spends the next days playing minecraft and animal crossing with pidge, giving their brains a rest from being on hyperdrive for 3 yrs straight

when pidge gets home she finally gets grounded by her mom, only being allowed to leave the house to see her old teammates

(same for matt and her dad)

(her mother cries so hard when they opened the door to the home)

the holt family holds movie nights filled with popcorn, cuddles, and tears

keith moves in with the holt family, and finally accepts that he has a home as well as a family

he often goes on trips with the BoM but mostly just stays on earth

after a Team Voltron sleepover in the altea inn keith and lance decide to get an apartment together and live their lives in love and in peace

everyone gets together once a year in celebration of shiro and the sacrifice he made for them

they use the ship to visit Astral Shiro and once they even met adam

everyone laughs and catches up and just... live their lives

everyone is happy

pls ignore any and all errors lmao

again, just a thought !! maybe i’ll write a fic abt it idk for sure but yeah

feel free to add anything <3

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lilyhoshikawa · 3 years

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🎥💕💎

Nyanko didn’t specify so I’m gonna do this abt WKTD and u can’t stop me!!

🎥: Do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

I’m a basic Jupiter kinnie sadly so as expected. My favorite scene has gotta be the Red Ending 3am scene. There’s such a beautiful, horrible tension in the early moments- the anxiety and uncertainty over knowing that the least obvious among the trio is going to become the devil, the sad bargaining in lines like

“We don’t need to know who the devil is. It’s just a phase. …right?”

Which transitions into this pleading, and then

Venus: “I can feel fingers on my face and arm and everywhere.”

Jupiter: “Ahaha. Gross. I’m gross.”

And then the most iconic scene in this entire game, the most powerful and tiny act of the hair tie breaking, a piece of symbolism so small yet so monumentally significant. And then everything that follows, the entire speech.

“Don’t touch me. You shouldn’t touch me. I wasn’t born good.”

Talk abt lines that live in my mind rent free dhdjbdjd. Everyone talks about “I wasn’t born good” bc it’s a killer line and very relatable, but shoutout to some other stars:

“I can try hard, but I think… God knows my heart isn’t really in it.”

“Y’all are sweet. But don’t do that. I won’t be happy if you do.”

“I want to touch. I want to be touched. I want to hurt. I want to be hurt. And if you feel the same way, you’re as bad as me.”

“Won’t you let me feel like a real devil for a moment?”

And that’s all just. Amazing. There’s so much to say abt that from the perspective of religious guilt alone, of ppl who have experienced that unique kind of internal struggle with Christianity, let alone the compounded complications of being gay, trans, neurodivergent. It’s a really impactful scene especially for the game’s themes, bringing them all together in the perspective of your typical idealistic leader character, of the one who wants to be good the most (that’s also why it’s imperative you play this ending last).

💕: Tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

I have committed the grave act of hubris in answering that first category in-depth before realizing I already elaborated on my answer for this one. Oops! Oh well.

Obviously it doesn’t take much to figure out my fave of the trio but every character is really important and I don’t wanna get caught up in rambling about Jupiter knowing she seems to be most ppl’s favorite.

All of the trio have different reactions to trauma, in particular the trauma of their world in which Christian morality is the actual law of the land. Many ppl can relate to Jupiter’s need to go along with it and to “fix herself” but I find the other two equally compelling.

Neptune isn’t happy with the way things are, she’s furious, bitter and burned. It’s criminal that the writers don’t elaborate on it more, but she’s existed for this long in a system that has already judged her bad, has already decided her very existence is wrong, and to her, it’s horrific and baffling how many people are okay to sit back and accept the same. The pain she feels watching the other members of her group suffer, trying so hard to appease a system that has already discarded them. Neptune isn’t interested in offering platitudes to a system that has already tossed her to the side, deemed her bad and irredeemable. Frankly, she doesn’t even care. What hurts her, what bothers her, is seeing other people grapple with the guilt that isn’t theirs to own, to try and fix in themselves what was never a problem to begin with. It’s like seeing a friend suffer a tragedy and blame themselves every time.

And Venus, perhaps most interesting of all, also knows that. She’s aware that the system is stacked against her and everyone else, and she’s bitter about it, but she knows nothing else. She goes along with it, and all the bullying and pain and hardship that comes with it. She isn’t deluded into trying to overturn her odds and prove herself to be good like Jupiter is, she’s apathetic, she’s accepted the hand she’s been dealt. She doesn’t fight back against her bullies because she has simply accepted their abuse as a natural part of her existence. She wants more, wants better, and has glimpses of hope that it’s obtainable- perhaps if she does what she’s told, if she doesn’t complain, if she puts up with it, one day she’ll get what she wants, what she needs to survive. But she won’t, she never will. She accepts all the hardship, all the abuse, all the confusion or a world built for and around people who aren’t like her, who can’t understand her- and she does it silently hoping things may get better on their own.

All three worst girls mean so much, have such meaningful and interesting perspectives and tell such compelling stories on personal levels which are only made more powerful by their union, by their coexistence and the vague, awkward but hopeful clashing of their disparate realities, coping mechanisms and outlooks. It’s shaky, it’s difficult, but they provide for each other what they each lack- Jupiter receive permission to be enough as she is, Neptune receives validation and companionship, and Venus receives the accommodations she needs to be her authentic self, no longer hidden. It’s really powerful, for trauma survivors and the mentally ill and for LGBT+ ppl.

💎 Are there any fun facts or trivia you would like to share?

Something most ppl may know but that I almost missed is that the original demo for the game- titled “We Know the Demo”- is actually not just a shortened version of the game or anything, but a unique prequel story that fills in some more gaps in characterization and worldbuilding, which I found very valuable for my fic “The Light God Didn’t Make.”

It includes such scenes as Neptune being secretly unstoppable at dodgeball, Venus infodumping, Neptune pointing out the fact we all know that Jupiter would look cool holding a guitar, and also Venus singing. All of them iconic bits.

The demo is free off the developers’ website and functions basically the same as the game, with picking a duo of characters to interact in each scene, so it’s a great complimentary piece to play before or after, and it’s really helpful in developing a better characterization of the trio if ur looking for that.

#oops I talked for 40 minutes oh no #meme response #thesunsetbox #rambles #wktd

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youareunbearable · 3 years

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I dont want to do school work so instead im trying to figure out how to make a SVSSS/TGCF crossover without it being weird/making either canon wrong

So far all i got is that SVSSS took place before the massacre that lead to Jun Wu leading the heavenly capital, and that Ghost City resides somewhere in the demon realm (maybe??) and that LBH is basically HC’s very distant boss/ruler, cause even tho HC is a King, LBH is a heavenly demon and emperor and therefore more op and powerful than HC, he’d just never do anything about HC doing anything cause he doesnt really care and HC is fine with that, he just pays his taxes occasionally and doesn’t think about it

plot wise, i kinda got that since SVSSS took place before the heavenly massacre, i kinda want the CQ peak lords to maybe have ascended and therefore died in that massacre, and only a couple of the svsss characters lived to be in the tgcf crossover. Basically, any character that survived was in the demon realm at the time cause they never ascended (sqq, sqh, im dragging lqh into this too cause im a fan of liubingqiu and hed be the only god who lived cause he was bugging sqq about his fans, and maybe like nyy and lmy cause they married the new harem mistress shl) and they cut off all ties to heaven and it’s new ruler cause even if LBH might have won in a fight against JW, sqq and sqh basically held him (and lqg) back with tears in their eyes after everyone they cared about died cause god everyone they cared about DIED those ppl were OP and DIED you CANT go fight that!!!

So basically svsss squad cut all ties with heaven and don’t really interact at all with the new gods cause theyre old jaded and bitter about it and are all kinda huddled around lqg cause he’s basically the only survivor and if jw finds out about him being alive and knowing what he did theyre fucked. They go between the demon realm and the mortal one and thats it

SO ACTUALLY PLOT TIME!! HC gets a letter from LBH basically asking him to come to court and bring his little “godly” friend too, and HC is like Ah Fuck I fucked up shit shit i can’t ignore this but i will fight the emperor if he tries anything funny with gege but XL is like lmaoo lets go why not im sure its nothing, so they go to the court and HC is basically giving a crash course of backstory for XL so he knows what hes going into and XL is interested about the fact that theyre all older than JW and know about Before, but HC is like God gege please dont ask them about it its a sensitive topic

they get there, and its a full court, all of LBH’s generals and his two husbands are here and HC and XL kneel and LBH is like “u have a lot of balls bringing in not only a god but That Man’s apprentice into my realm” and HC is sweating but also trying to sweet talk his way out of them needing to go into protective services to not die and the entire time SQQ is squinting at XL over his fan until he cuts HC off like “omg (fake alias) is that you? I haven’t seen you in over 200 years you never let me properly thank you” and is like excitedly chattering at XL who is like ???? ive never met you before but you know a name i used so we must have?? and SQQ is like “LBH this is the man that rescued me that one time 200 years ago! They were planning on sacrificing me to that god of misfortune so it would curse you to fall during that rebellion. (fake alias) swooped in and rescued me and waited with me until i had enough energy to fly back home, I was going to take you back with me for a reward but you disappeared as I was preparing to leave” and XL blue screens cause he just is so bad with faces and names before hes like “Oh!! Shen Yuan!! yes yes i remember now! wow lmao i see youre doing good, oh this must be ur husbands u talked so much about”

Like a flipped switch LBH went from “give me one good reason why i shouldnt kill you were u stand” to “I WILL SHOWER U IN BLESSINGS NAME UR PRICE ULL GET IT FOR SAVING MY SHIZUN!!!” and invites them for dinner and HC is sweating but also just pleased that nothing bad will happen to XL now that he has favor, but LQG is still glowering over the fact that he’s JW’s apprentice but over dinner they talk about what happened and XL is sosososo sorry and shares how he was tricked and abused by JW too and then they both just bond over fighting and swords and even agree to spar one martial god to another and everything just kinda ends up being ok

#amber rambles #fic idea #svsss #tgcf #i dont think ill ever write the full thing but i might make a drabble snippet

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misterbitches · 3 years

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Dude yong jie’s character is literally unbearable this is like how not to write a vharacter 101

Our first intro to him is stalking, then PUNCHING someone in the LIVER bc the person he “loves” was fucking drunk and he blames his best friend? Then his mom is like “lmao actually um hes psycho” so anything they try to do retroactively like how they peppered in HIS DAD DIED A BLOO BLOO but previously it was also his OWN MOM going “im afraid he’ll lose his humanity” so not only was there no breathing room then it’s bumrushing him into their lives as best friends and it doesnt work. This dude sucks and he isnt even fun to watch. You know how breaking bad has one of the most abysmal main characters of all time but all of us were fucking ENGROSSED but the show made it clear that every enemy he faces, even the DEA, we want THEM to win (it is also a class analysis but woreva) so i am like wtf they show us literally nothing here. He’s just there. Wasting space and being awful. What is the purpose of his character in ssu’s life? Once you rape someone it is fucking over full stop but he didnt even fucking manage to start off in any compelling fucking way. Absolutely bonkers dude Esp bc theres at least a base moral code ie DONT HARRASS GIRLS UR “INTO” and thats why mei fang the absolute mad lad beaut was like “lmao nah i hate u”

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?????????????????????????????????? WHERE IS THE WRITING HERE? WHAT IS THE SCRIPT? awhat is the PROGRESSION? This is such an insanely fucking dumb plo5 point i rly cannnnjnnntoeiwijshsgsgsgsgsgsgeggwiwowiw GORL

Lets talk abt the good things in the characters (theres none for yong jie hes just there being a little bitch)

Li cheng - himbo dumbass “manly” cutie and the manly stuff is fun cos it gets heaped on and yet every bit of him can be extremely “feminine” and jubilant. Great.

Muren - seems >:O but i rly like that hes actually pretty open in his own way. Side note: he is so thin and willow-y i rly loke tall pretty boys (and all women lmao) and he doesnt do it for me but He suits the character like his body and the way his character is. Also u gotta be weird and he is

Hsinng ssu (girl im never gonna learn how to spell their names it’s too much work cos the eng alphabet andnromanization is terrible) - mild mannered, good son, a homosexual confirmed confirmed g”(awesome!) great friend, good brother (and i guess his reward is being raped, great message!) and someone ppl like

The establishment of the three of them and their distinct personalities happens within minutes and then we meet

Yongjie - what about him? He may have an MI, okay, but we dont know for sure and oh gee that doesnt matter actually bc u have to get urself treated and also not be terrible. Not even psychopaths do the shit he does BC THEY HAVE TO GET HELP. Why the parents didnt get him help and are just realizing their son is terrible? Who knows . His purpose seems yo be “boy obsessed with brother like his actual brother” i dont care id they arent related in that way bc that’s not the fucking crux of incest and it is so insanely Fucked every thing to do with incest is almost always a disgusting powe r issue. WHAT PURPOSE DOES HE SERVE? WHAT DO WE ONOW ABOUT HIM OTHER THAN HE IS A FUCKING JERK AND AN IDIOT AND SUCKS AND I HATE HIM AND THAT HE WANTS TO STALK AND ATTACK THIS REALLY AWESOME FUCKING DUDE OK

There’s no returning point deom rhe line they croased byt theyb set him up for failure. Even in the fight hes a fucking cheater hes a goddamn immature rat they know he fucking sucks but he just sits there and waits for everyone else to move around him. A fucking selfish prick with nor edeeming qualities snd hes also a violent rapist stalker. Really great that thry have no clue how to make this dude actually have any humanity or likeability. Hes the man from 365 days basically except not even that hot and at least he kidnapped her but “WAITED” for “CONSENT” but in that movie’s world nothing mattered and it was bad and the point was to have a horny movie. But this show is for younger ppl and also IT HAS RULES AND IT KNOWS WHAT BAD ACTIONS ARE???? Soooooooooooooo in all these other dumb salacious books there seems to be just a mutual agreement that it’s fucked up but totally normal i their movie’s universee (it isnt and it is still just bad filmmaking)

Also it is up to yong jie to figure put how to get over it and understand that his brother is concerned for him. Bc it is. His brother. There’s a reason that incest is never advisable and thays bc there is no way in that situation that people aren’t somehow being coerced. There has to be a sort of split in the pursuer and the person being pursued bc one person is not thinking that way. (This is why people who find out they are related after the fact and havent grown up together is something thatms really unfortunate. They had no idea and they have to grapple with that but that is another scenario and it happens bc THEY DIDNT GROW UP TOGETHER.) i have experienced this from a (not immediate) fam member and i was the vulnerable one, had less powr, that is how it must go.

Thats why the power imbalance is scary and none of this is acceptable but it begs the question how did they get to this point? But the show doesnt even address that bc they cant bc theyre not original. And power imbalance does not mean automatic absolutely not territory. Theres things we dont like (in my casee i hate age gaps a lot) but i will avoid that.

I havemt seen “right or wrong” and i have no desire but from what ive garnered from ppl i like who liked that episode, the show outlined the moral issues with it. Idk if they did it in a way i would have preferred (again no desire) but at lesst from what ive heard it...tries? Idk i dont see the need for these if they dont give us a reason why these ppl should be together and there’s several lines that cannot be crossed that were. Basically it’s like stockholm syndrome now and there’s no choice for him, it goes beyond power imbalance and “legality” so to speak and now it’s just entrapment.

Theres not even avoiding or enjoying. Even for MODC as stupid as i found the secondary rship and negligent even like ok. Fine. Whatever. His boyfriend is 100 but at least it was semi agreed upon. It is what it is, go forth. I will criticize it but at least it was the story and as stupid and gross as i think it is and they will probs break up (idc what the show says) at least there are set ups that can make us see “why” it works and oh, gee, their whole rship relies on a different fucked up but at least at some point it could possibly be transcended. The foundation of youngjie is “rape entrapment and aw now they are in lvoe” BITCH NOOOO???? Where is the REASON? And why should we root for them? (There is none and when the Thing happens it is now impossible for that not to be absolutely foundational to their rship lmao and that is never something that goes away.)

I would like to say theres nothing romantic int he flashbacks i know thats what theyre trying to twll us but the actor is 30 and that child is like 8.

Im not missing the point bc i see it with my eyes and it sucks. If you cant even write the character well then how do you interest something heavy and work out the links? The only solution is yongjie dying i mean fucking off forever and hsing ssu not letting him into his lifeXni doubt we will get that but at the very least they cannot end up together and that will be their crowning fucking achievement over the waste of time bullshit plot this was. Imagine actual conflict that wasnt so deeply fucking traumatic and, oh, again WHERE ARE THE PARENTS? They fucked up SO FUCKING BADLY. This gives people the wrong idea about how these things work. God he is truly a shitty character and his ass isnt even fat so wtf bitch why am i here!

#history 4: close to you #history 4 #a thot #god my anxiety was thru the roof turns out i needed to eat

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zackfiar-a · 4 years

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hello class! today we’re going to learn about growth and the process of healing via zack fair

when zack entered SOLDIER he had bright eyes of optimism whilst having one goal and a dream in mind: to become SOLDIER 1st class and to become a hero just like sephiroth. however the longer he stayed in SOLDIER, the more he realized that hey ..... something isnt Right here. one of those that you cant have emotions attached to missions or the ppl that ur fighting against, that its just a reliability. thats not something he agreed with because he purely focuses with his emotions, whether it could be his downfall or not. he feels immensely, whether its anger towards himself or sympathy; something so trivial as emotions will jeopardize the mission (ie a mission to go search for angeal).

and unfortunately, being as young and impressionable as he was, it was very easy for him to be manipulated by his higher ups (because of his intense enthusiasm and wanting to please his superiors) and not be able to form opinions of his own, lest they get tested and make himself doubt his loyalty to shinra. which is why he had no problem with going to wutai and trying to overtake fort tamblin, he was told wutai is the enemy of shinra. they’re the bad guys, without ever being told the reason why. like why did shinra name wutai as their enemy? why are they going at war with them?

his perception was warped by the toxic ideals and goals that shinra and SOLDIER had, even though his guy he knew it was wrong and that he should question those of higher power than him.

it also took too long to realize that shinra, at the face, is a company and state helps the people and protect midgar from terrorists and others that dare face against shinra. that underneath, they were making monsters with an ancient alien that landed on earth years and years ago. he doesnt know why; doesnt know anything about the ‘promised land’ theyre searching for. he doesnt know anything about their goals of creating beings from jenova, g, and s - cells. the fact of the matter is, theyre stealing away innocent people just so shinra can experiment on them (and they all worked for shinra ie SOLDIER 3rd and 2nd class when genesis took them with him; probably others than he cant imagine).

being hit with the information that genesis is degrading from the g - cells and angeal being born from the result of experimentation from gillian, the clouds started to fade away from his eyes and hes actually surprised that the ppl that know this are okay with it. like it was common knowledge, which it wasnt! he didnt know anything about this! the fact that angeal knew about this and didnt tell him, he felt hurt and betrayed. he was blindly following in his footsteps of embracing your SOLDIER honor and your dreams, that the fact he was proud and happy that he was working for shinra! meanwhile they had secret labs scattered about banora, modeoheim, and nibelheim that these experiments were going on!

at this point, zacks faith in shinra is fading and his dream is being pushed to the back burner even when he does eventually become a 1st class. no thanks! you can keep it. not like he had a chance but accept it. when hes forced to kill angeal, theres a mix of emotions: intense sadness because he looked up to angeal and admired him greatly, with his skills and such inspiring ideals; and even tho he can handle himself without angeal, he felt like he was the last pillar in SOLDIER that he had. he also felt relieved and hurt, zack doesnt forget him keeping all this information of human experimentation a secret while zack was looking with a naive lense to wanting to protect the people. relieved in the sense that angeal was probably hurting and was rapidly degrading if the grey hair and pale skin at his death was any indication.

being inherited the buster sword wasnt something he took proudly, it was a heavier weight on his shoulders the point where was sagging. he felt the least he could do was become those that ppl looked up to as well. even tho he carries a piece of angeal, he just couldnt accept what he had tried to push onto him. SOLDIER honor, there wasn’t a thing that existed at this point. trying to convince himself that SOLDIER doesnt mean monster, he couldnt kid himself that it meant monster.

during this time, he goes to the church and accept consoling from aerith. altho he doesnt talk about what happens, or what hes experiencing / feeling which eventually becomes his downfall. as a way to make himself feel better, he visits the church, immediately feeling calmed, but however with so much weighing on his mind, promising aerith to build the wagon for her flowers becomes half-hearted. he thinks this is enough to try and hes the burden he was inherited, to push away the trauma of having to kill his mentor and watching him die, and fighting monsters, that were at some point, people--- even to the point of no longer wanting to be a part of SOLDIER. ofc this doesnt work and isnt a viable way to cope with his experiences.

being last straw is when he fights sephiroth when he burns down nibelheim. that was someone he looked up to and trusted, he joined SOLDIER wanting to be like him. except now hes dragged cloud and tifa into this whole mess, and he feels incredibly responsible for not intervening sooner. he shouldve seen the signs that it wasnt going to end well, but he gave him the benefit of the doubt, hoping that he wouldnt be like genesis and angeal (which he was wrong). witnessing that sephiroth was kept these very important and crucial details, made him realize it doesnt matter how important or popular you are in shinras eyes; if theres any hint that someone could retaliate, they will keep it a secret until its convenient for them. this severed anything else positive he felt for shinra.

he doesnt even realize he was put in a pod for 4 years (only assuming its been a couple of weeks at most), still imaging that hes 18 when he now has to physically free himself from shinras grasp. even while hes asleep, the nightmares and visions of angeal wouldnt waver. even though he could choose to leave cloud alone in the pod with severe mako poisoning, he didnt want to. cloud was his friend, and he felt solely responsible for him to be pulled within the crossfire. cloud wanted to join SOLDIER, well this was the reality. he couldnt even fight for himself or eat; but he was alive and that was good enough for zack. zack has this pushed guilt onto his conscious, so he makes sure to bring cloud with him everywhere he went, even casually talking to him like he can actually respond back.

he doesnt even realize the reality that he wasnt a respected member of SOLDIER, by the words of hojo, they were both fugitives and even though zack was still asleep in that pod, he was so tired; emotionally, physically, and mentally. this whole thing, he had to see through, if not for himself, then for cloud. at least get him to midgar and try to continue living a separate part shinras greedy hands. there were certain times while trying to avoid shinra and hide, that he could just end himself several times, but clouds existence was a constant reminder that they both managed to live, besides he owed cloud so much, so ridding himself off wouldnt do them nearly enough good.

so seeing genesis again got him angry, that he couldnt even blame him for the reason this was happening. whether genesis wanted to capture hollander to help further shinra in experimentation, it wasnt going to stop what was going on underneath the surface. seeing lazard with angeals face really made him weak at the knees, physically made him sick, and feeling temporarily relieved (which he doesnt forget of the fact that angeal is dead, that this isnt actually him but lazard who absorbed his cells).

and finally beating genesis, he still felt angry with only a small semblance of sympathy. even with his soft heart, he couldnt help but feel bad for him, going thru such great lengths just because he was a failure of an experiment and wanted to live longer than what he got. this wasnt genesis’ fault, it was shinras and that just made him more frustrated.

and while hes with cloud, riding to midgar, he once again tries to push the anger, hurt, and frustration at the back of his mind to tell cloud silly stories while he was still in SOLDIER, and what he thought about cloud upon meeting him for the first time, and that feelings of doubts that hes sorry that cloud has to travel with a monster. with coming across the shinra army, he realized this was a final stand, being physically exhausted (even w the mutated s and mako infused cells, he doesnt feel nearly as strong as he did before). even though he no longer holds up the honor of SOLDIER, he needs to protect cloud and his own honor that hes built as a person, and nothing else.

when he succeeded by the skin of his teeth, he wonders why hes still alive, why hes still breathing, even though its hard. he lost sight in one eye, but he doesnt even realize how, everything happened so fast. was he shot? was he stabbed? who knows, but taking cloud to midgar while hes sitting on deaths edge himself, he will take cloud back even if it kills him. there are people there waiting for him, unlike zack--- no one is waiting for him to come back, the people that hes looked up to has died, or see him as a traitor. perhaps, you could count his parents, but hes so ashamed to see them face to face. he feels like if he did, he would break down. his cell phone has long ago stopped working, so who knows if anyone has sent him anything during the time of his slumber. he doesnt even know that kunsel is waiting for him to come back.

during this whole time, hes held in his feelings and emotions, shouldering all this himself. he hasnt talked to anyone previously about his trauma, the nightmares that prevent him from sleeping, or his doubt. being in the sector 7 slums and being taken care of, he puts on a false face that everything is okay, but it cracks when he hit his brink. crying and screaming, yelling how none of this is fair and how he shouldve been dead. he doesnt why hes alive but hes so tired. he was fully planning to die when he faced shinras army, not even thinking how to why, if there even is a reason. even though tifa and marle kindly provided him a room to rest in, theres a momentary frenzy where there are several deeply punched in walls, even unleashing his sword in blinded frustration.

hes never been taught that it was okay to share your feelings, and being swallowed by the toxicity of SOLDIER, he felt as if it was weak to ask for help. hes encouraged and is told several times, while being in the slums, that its okay. theres always an ear to be lend to if one needs to talk about their woes, or something that deeply troubles them. not to mention, he has a hard time accepting that so much time as passed, that so much as changed and almost so many people forgot about him. hes lost so much of his younger years by SOLDIER, the lost of mental growth by being in a god damn mako infused pod. he needs to catch up, now finding home in the sector 7 slums (altho apologizing and insisting that he fix up the room that he ruined. it gives him something to do and he fees bad for destroying that was so graciously offered from kindness).

he spends his time around avalanche and tifa, not only trying to help up from the wounds he endured, but trying to move on. find easier methods to cope and deal with the stress in healthy ways thats not dangerous self destruction to himself and those around him. hes slowly coming to the conclusion that hes not a monster that hes so insisted on, but a victim and pawn of SOLDIER and shinra. hes angry at shinra. hes upset, frustrated, aggravated, among other emotions towards the former company hes worked for.

and even though this healing process is still slow, hes becoming much more happier than has been before. he finds home in the slums, and those people that has so welcomed him, even though untrusting because of his previous affiliation with SOLDIER. he loves the people, quickly befriending the entire sector 7 slums.

hes come a long way since coming back to midgar, from self loathing and a weak, nearly broken spirit to his back optimistic, naturally smiling self that people love to be around. he has given shinra a lot, but he wont let them take away a person he was so proudly being before he entered SOLDIER, albeit still immature with mentality that hes still 18.

#m.#suicide ment /#i did not proofread this or spell check this so Uh yeah #this is actually .......... really long LOL but i wanted to include everything that i could!!!#i felt like some of this is a summary of my bio ...... but! ah

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azrcxlfatale · 4 years

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under the cut you’ll find saint’s intro, its just a brief run down for now until i get bio pages up but it should help get a sense of the boyo all the same !! he is gentle and friend shaped is all i can say ajjdfg. THIS HAS NOW BEEN UPDATED WITH LIKE FIVE EXTRA LIL MORE CURRENT HEADCANONS! [ they r just like for his own growth nothing major has happened with saint and he’s still fundamentally the same as he was bc he’s always been a more laidback and less tragic muse but feel free to read em bc they do help contextualise how he’ll be career wise and with grandmami] :

CHWE SAINT:

so for the best part of his life saint was raised with his ‘grandmami’ as he terms her, but she’s better known to the whole island as ajumma solmi. for this reason he’s very doting toward her and a real grandma’s boy. he bakes with her often and they can often be found on street corners selling cheap priced but some of the finest flowers to the citizens because it’s grandmami’s tradition and its mostly done in hope to uplift the islanders and bring joy to their day in a small way and act of love.

when i say doting i mean doTInG, he will help her in and out of chairs, help her cross streets, hold the groceries for her as she crosses, open doors for her even if grandmami insists he stops fussing because ffs saint ur making me look ancient and i’ll have u know i am still fighting fit and could knock any idiot on his ass with a fliCk of my finger. ajdhf. she is v fiery, if saint is like the picture of elegance and good manners then grandmami is the sTARK contrast. she has one hell of a potty mouth and just a no time for ur shit attitude. if anything saint is keeping her in line, not the other way around.

his quirk is warp gate. he rlly just uses it to entertain himself mostly and help give his pals quick escapes when a prank of some sort has gone wrong. he can basically create portals out of a dark fog which can either be emitted through his breath or openings at the end of his fingers which he can activate, anyone can also use his portals to travel so long as he’s given them permission.

he just exudes sunshine rlly. is well known round the island for his out of this world smile which has been known to charm many. he is a very eligible and sought after bachelor but saint is like...not interested mostly bc he just like has no romantic awareness ahdhfhf not bc he doesn’t want it. and also bc he doesn’t like the way it’s mostly super young girls and guys just like awestruck by him. it feels a little too much like he’s a collective childhood crush by his groupies so yeah he is OBLIVIOUS.

very humble and incredibly polite. just really down to earth whenever spoken to but being raised by an elderly person kinda makes u a little outdated, for this reason saint is kind of demure and bad at conversation mostly due to the fact he can easily talk for hours about his plans for baking with grandmami later, the book he read her this morning, the lovely walk they took in that gorgeous spot which he rlly recommends etc but he is god awful at talking about like typical young people stuff.

lot of ppl think he plays hard to get, this is not true, saint just fr does not know how to fuckin speak and is the most oblivious person in the world to how to flirt, he’s easily flustered but bad at knowing when he’s being flirted with or if this person is just rlly nice and is usually too shy and respectful to rlly push luck by flirting in response hfhfjkg. USELESS.

very 70′s/80′s aesthetic bby boy, sweet summer child. he is obsessed with old classic black and white films, had a collection before he moved to the island which he misses like everyday but luckily he has memorised ten million quotes. also collected records. obsessed with anything retro, is a collector of gaming merch. but he didn’t get to sneak much to the island :-( the only thing he rlly snuck was a small record stash. liked roller skating, bowling, drive in movies. dresses very retro but refined and classy with lots of layering. rlly good knowledge of classic literature.

most likely to find him at the arcade in the funzone now on the island, he is a master at all the games but esp the old retro ones, usually goes early morning or late evening so he can spend hours uninterrupted on them and beat his high score everyday a bit more. if not there then he’ll be at zen’s computer gaming instead. he likes all tech really but prefers retro, he’s still figuring out modern. before coming to the island he was rlly getting into VR. if he’s not in either of these places, he’ll be on the beach in a volleyball match or doing a jog. still v much into his sports.

ultimate sike power cause people think he looks like ur typical jock fuckboy but jokes on u he is pure of heart and dumb of ass himbo just blessed with ethereal looks, he is the breed of good lil boyo and that is all.

obsessed with milkshakes and popcorn at the diners if he’s ever there u can guarantee that is what he is snacking on or treating himself to. his weakness is churros he fucken thinks that shit SLAPS. he’ll do anything if the prize is churros. sMH someone help his diet. also loves fiddling with the jukeboxes there ajdjd.

has two pet geckos one is peach colored and called zelda, the other is black and white leopard spotted and named zeus and he also has a chonk of a fluffy grumpy white cat called yoshi. he is the best. saint is a huge animal lover but probably still not on nyx’s level of dog worshipper.

weeb. not as big of a one as nyx but he likes haikyuu, kuroko no basket, given, fruits basket, free! and yuri! on ice. he is very into anything that is slice of life or sports anime.

has the nickname ‘koda’ bc of the movie brother bear, nicknamed after the lil baby bear cause he just reminds people of a baby bear ahdhd.

he studies art, spends half his life in the studio working, big art nerd. once he gets in the work mode, he just does not stop for anything but water and snacks and goes at it all day into half the night. usually does big projects bc he loves a challenge. mostly paints, sometimes sketches. u know those vids of people mixing paint colors like a swatch of gold and turquoise? saint fuckin loves those so bad unf he does that all the time to calm himself.

still lives with grandmami currently, he’s looking at getting his own place bc everyone tells him if he ever wants to have his own life then he needs to but he’s just v anxious about leaving grandmami on her own bc she getting older by the day and she’s all he has sO she cannot get hurt!!

also in a bit of a dilemma with his art bc he kinda wants to make something out of it, like maybe teach some classes sort of thing and use it more as a career but right now he does not have the confidence in his ability and is mostly just doing it for fun and as a calming thing ( he’s an idiot he’s rlly fucken good pls someone make him take himself seriously )

never cusses but does say bitchin a lot, only ever uses fuck in bed basically so if u ever hear him say it then u know something next level has gone down bc saint refuses to swear even if he stubbed his pinky toe.

looks like a cinnamon roll but HE FUCKS!! boy is a kinky freak however saint has no shame or embarrassment like he will discuss it as casually as a discussion of what to have for dinner not bc he is like lewd but purely bc to him its rlly natural and like another form of art and he does not get the embarrassment or secret nature of it all like it is just factual to him that we come into the world like that and ppl enjoy it sometimes ajsj.

gardening enthusiast!! has a fascination with studying plants and insects tbfh. still uses 70′s and 80′s kewl kid slang like unironically someone help him pls. sjjdjf. cute bonus fact: has freckles all over his shoulders and down his back. UWU.

COUPLE OF CONNECTION IDEAS OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD??:

i would love for him to have a muse for art and/or to be someone’s muse. also and maybe interchangeably someone to kinda be his art mentor and be like saint u could pursue this fr if thats ur dream, then do it pls share this talent dont let ART DIE!!

someone he does gardening and insect studies with who gets his nerdy enthusiasm over it.

a regular who gets flowers from him and grandmami, maybe he makes a special bouquet for them every day which always has a different meaning in the flower language bc he is soft like that ajjfl

someone who he can take on loads of cute lil platonic diner dinner dates bc he is a huge foodie as we can tell. this one is super fun like I imagine they scam tf outta restaurants that are over priced and for the elite by being like we all kno married couples or people getting engaged, celebrating anniversaries etc tend to get better deals on their meals. so he’s essentially doing this one bc he likes ur muses company and enthusiasm for food but also bc it means cheaper high quality meals for both and a guaranteed good time.

someone to nerd out with him over classic literature or films bc that would be hella cute

maybe someone who is also close with his grandmami and rlly loves spending time with her as well so he kinda trusts them to take care of her and trusts their judgement when they r like saint chill let the lady live okay go and do ur own shit akskf

he usually jogs alone but it would be cool for him to have someone to do that with and like table-tennis and shiz cause he just loves fitness activities and active leisure stuff too.

maybe someone who is tryna teach him a little more about how to uH TALK LIKE SOMEONE HIS DAMN AGE AND STOP BEING SOME RETRO MAN STUCK IN MODERN TIMES AJDJD

UPDATES:

so a lot about saint hasn’t overly changed because like he just is and has always been a very wholesome laidback boyo but just a few bits of like additional info for his personal growth can be added:

he’s owner and manager of the florist now, grandmami is also there most of the time and handles a lot of stuff when she’s feeling up to it but with her getting more tired more easily from her illness saint needs to head everything really.

he grew up in a neighbourhood on hosu which like consisted of his entire street pretty much being full of his aunts and uncles so now like it’s a street just littered with all his tiny cousins who like to follow him about everywhere and play ball games etc on the street with him and kinda take it over shs. you can hear their joyful playing from like streets over it’s very cute.

his mother gave him up when she realised she was pregnant with him and too young to raise him and that it would hinder her from pursuing the life she wanted with his father. saint doesn’t hold any resentment for her choice, it only bothers him that his grandma has always had a serious illness since the early days of talks of her having no choice but to take him on and that despite this his mother allowed him to be left to her care and another burden on her when she was already so ill.

grandmami is now at a point where she’s hanging in there but she won’t have long left and saint is essentially now her live in carer till her final days which is hard af for him but he refuses to let it show. he’s not sure how he’ll function when he loses her. right now he’s trying to extend the florist business into a wellness one as well and more of an apothecary so he can keep himself stable and busy.

this is more just a cute fun fact but he’s a Christmas Eve baby. uwu lil boyo was born on the night before Christmas bc of course he was sdjdj.

#quirks:intro #listen saint just makes me think of that fucken scott mccall meme #WHERE R U GETTIN UR JUICE SAINT??!!#HIM INCREDIBLY CONFUSED: MY GRANDMAMI DOES ALL THE GROCERY SHOPPING???#SDJFJKF

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bluepluto03 · 4 years

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mcu spiderman rewrite/au i may or may not do

ok so first quick disclaimer! i do not hate the mcu spider man movies in any way!! i actually enjoy them quite a bit and have seen homecoming like 4 times! and i absolutely adore all the actors in the movies, especially tom, zendaya, and jacob

but the problem w/ the mcu spiderman movies is,,, they’re just not spiderman. at least from a writing/thematic perspective, which sucks bc so much other stuff about them is great! like tom holland is the perfect peter parker, which is why it seems so close to being right, but with the way the script is actually written... it’s just. not spider-man.

i feel the need to explain all this/my problems w/ the movies b4 i get into the actuall au idea/plot, so please bear with me for a sec

for context, I’ve loved spiderman my whole life. i’d watch the cartoons when i was younger, and then went back and watched them all again when i was a bit older and figured out how to pirate stuff lol. i didn’t really know how to get into the comics, so i just kinda read wikis and got second-hand info from fanfics and the other movies

to me, spiderman, (at least, peter parker spiderman,) was always about like... a kid, who saw the world was broken and fixed it because he could. he had the power to fix stuff, so he did.

as a kid w/ mental illness and a not so great home life... that was something really really important to me. to see another kid out there, who’s been through some shit, but finally has the power to make stuff better, so he is! and it would make me think, maybe i can change stuff for the better, someday, if i just get my chance

but,,,,, the problem is mcu peter parker isn’t that.

instead of becoming spiderman bc he knows there’s bad in the world and wants to fix it, suddenly his motivation is impressing tony stark?? and don’t get me wrong i don’t hate tony, but the way they wrote his and peter’s relationship basically trapped peter. he could no longer be his own hero, bc he was tony’s successor. and that's never who peter parker’s spiderman was?? he was never a follower, he was a trendsetter. he didn’t become spiderman for approval, hell he had dozens of newspapers constantly slandering him.

honestly the following in someone else’s footsteps thing was always a miles morales thing. he had to step up to the plate and fill the shoes of a spiderman who had already existed for years and was beloved by the whole city. obviously thats not all he is and simplifying his character to that is incredibly obtuse, but i bring it up bc tbh alot of stuff w/ mcu peter parker is just straight-up ripped off from miles morales. like how peter now goes to a fancy private school, is no longer poor (which is a huge thing w/ peter parker’s character in like every other incarnation), has a living father figure, and is bffs w/ ned, who is a straight-up rip off of miles’s best friend ganke. (for the record tho i adore ned and jacob i’m def keeping him in my rewrite,,,, also i’m glad he’s in the movie bc having a plus sized poc protagonist thats not constantly mocked is incredible)

so, i’m complaining about all this stuff lol but ur probably wondering how exactly how i wanna fix it lol,,,,

first, give peter an arc thats more than just..... i want tony to believe in me. my idea for that is basically a type of thing where he learns to rely on others! bc like... peter isn’t good at working w/ others lol, he’d much rather do it all himself so no one else gets hurt. (like in the andrew garfield movies where he just,,,, webs his gf to a car so she can’t run into danger lmao)

the plot would start at a similar ish position to homecoming, though tony never recruits peter for civil war. tbh not sure if it even happened but we’ll disscuss that later

peter’s been spiderman for a few months, after a trip to oscorp left him w/ a radioactive spider bite. currently no one knows about it, and he’s doing a pretty ok job of dealing w/ everything on his own. until he takes down a big bad, lets say rhino for now, and gains a ton of publicity. after stooping a hudge disaster he’s suddenly in the limelight, and catches the attention of one norman osborn, aka the green goblin

now, quick sidenote. green goblin is genreally seen as pretty goofy, but there are comic versions of him that are legit terrifying. if im being honest i didn’t even know about that version until i read aloneintherains fic birds eating other birds so ig thats kinda ish how i’m imagining this version of norman? though alot more composed, like the man who could someday turn into that

so norman becomes intrested in my boy peter, and starts sending ppl after him. possibly the sinister 6, but uhh maybe not bc tbh i think this “rewrite” needs to be split into 2 “movies”/works and i might wanna save that for the hypothetical pt2 (btw if i write this it won’t b for a while cause i got other stuff going on but ig if ppl are intrested i might write some snippits/make more content for it)

so basically the main plot is peter dealing w/ all these big bads on his own, doing ok at first but later getting really fucked up, and eventually revealing himself to ned and mj which ends up being the only way he can save the day in the end. by relying on others! yay!!

thats it for the main plot, but don’t worry y’all we got other stuff going on too lmao

so, for one. my boy peter is realizing he has a crush and just,,,, freaking tf out. (i have yet to decide if it’s on ned or mj. or both. sue me) the crush isn’t definitely resolved in p1, but i imagine there’d be some cute thing of him suddenly realizing and freaking out and almost revealing his powers.

thing 2! tony stark! he is still in here, and still a mentor to peter, but in a pretty drastically different way. one, he doesn't know about peter being spiderman. he doesn't even suspect it lmao. he just gets involved bc of.... some sort of reason bc peter is so smart. do i know why just yet? no. does it matter? probably but i’m writing this pretty late after i had school all day so i’m too tired to care

bc tony basically gives peter a real internship/mentorship type thing, peter now has access to all this tech!! and all these funds!! fucking lit!! so he changes from his pajama suit to the fancy one, tho he actually built it!! which i feel like him making his suit is a really big really important part of his character. so it doesn't really have all those random things tony added, tho peter might add stuff himself. he gets Karan as a like assistant ai as part of his internship but she never gets put into the suit

for the fist part tony plays a super minor role but like,,,, the first part is about osborn taking an intrest in him, and him confiding in ned and mj. the second part norman is become progressively more dangorus and peter has to fight him and stuff, kinda proving he is strong enough to be spiderman/be trusted to the whole world, beyond just ned and mj. also him actually getting together w/ either one or both of them bc...... bc i want that.

oh btw idk if tony finds out or not in p2? if he does it’s either at the end or in a scene like the one w/ may bc like. please imagine the shenanigans of peter and ned (who both have high intellegence but low wisdom) in tony’s lab, obviously trying to hide the fact that peter’s spiderman. like he walks in on them and peter looks all frumpy bc he’s been trying to change real fast, and ned’s shirt is messed up bc he just stuffed the mask down the front of it, and mj is just. chilling behing them. so tony just like assumes stuff and is like....aight.... have fun....

oh btw the last big change that i didn’t really have anyway to insert natrually into this,,,, so remember how i said ned was kinda a ripoff of ganke? well, the writers claim he’s a “composite character” so i figured, why not give him traits from other famous spiderman side character so he actually is a composite character!

so like,,,, throughout p1 it’s referenced that ned has a kinda dickish estranged ish dad that he hates and his mom doesn't really like but kinda forces him too... theres some mentions of his dad wanting him to transfer to a private school and being kinda rich, bur he dosen’t want to bc he knows his dad is a total dickead,,,, anyway end of the movie we find out norman osborn is ned’s dad, and ned hates him even fucking more bc it’s like bitch?? u tried to get my (maybe) bf murdered?? tf?? and its lowkey bc he can’t reveal peter’s id, but then in p2 after norman takes matters into his own hands and tries to kill peter on his own ned just fucking yells at him while the man is in jail and is like fuck u lmao

soooo thats my really messy au idea!! i’m really tired sorry if this is hard to understand or rude! for the record i have nothing against the ppl who adore these movie’s, i just think they could be better!

#spiderman #spider man homecoming #spiderman homecoming #peter parker #tony stark #michelle jones #ned leeds #parkerleeds #spideychelle #peter x mj x ned #marvel #pls rb i worked p hard on this #my post #my writing #norman osborn #green goblin #mcu spiderman

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surejo · 4 years

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( victoria pedretti, cis woman ) hey ! have you seen JOSEPHINE “JO” CORMAC around ? SHE works at the HOT COCOA STAND at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 24 years old & they’ve been working here for TWO YEARS. they tend to be +OPTIMISTIC & +EMPATHETIC, but can also be -IMPRACTICAL & -PASSIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE IDEALIST. thanks a lot ! ( the few nights the stars can be seen, books worn down by dog-ears and marks left throughout the years, the first crisp breeze of autumn, the duality… of t.s. eliot )

OK. a few notes before i get started:

1) i hope everyone loves how i literally j copied my ivan stuff. url format? ‘sure jan’ lives on. theme? too lazy to find a different one that’s easy to work with. luv that for me. 2) speaking of this theme i forget if i addressed this on ivan’s blog but tabbed bullets don’t appear tabbed.... so if anything seems like it doesn’t make total sense.... it is supposed to be tabbed™. 3) get ready for drama!!!!! you may ask yourself “but the app looks so tame! there will be no drama!” but you are wrong........ because she loves cats. the t.s. eliot book......... the musical........ even the movie.

ok jo,, is also a resurrected character,,, hence how i already kno,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, that she loves cats. anyway ! let’s begin ! (listen,,,, the intro format will at least be a little different from ivan’s ok im evolving)

QUICK FACTS:

full name: josephine “jo” rose cormac

date of birth: march 6, 1995

*does not perfectly reflect the below big three zodiac chart because that’s too much math

zodiac big three: pisces sun, gemini moon, cancer rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual ( preference for women bc we luv that for her but we also luv leaving things open to chemistry )

education: bachelor in english - literature that she is doing nothing with

enneagram: 2w1

mbti: infp

various inspirations: eleanor crain ( the haunting of hill house ), dolores price *as a child and towards the end of the book ( she’s come undone ), fox 8 ( fox 8: a story ), “why try to change me now?” - fiona apple (cover), “be still” - the killers

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: verbal/mental/emotional abuse/gaslighting, very slight implication of spousal abuse, brief mention of car accident/death & drowning

( ivan and jo’s breakout pop-punk single: “fuck happy backstories!” stream it on spotify ! )

jo......... was born into the wrong family, let’s get that out of the way.

it was pretty clear she was a ploy to save the marriage of her parents ( who have names: lucy and benjamin, luv that for them ). it didn’t seem like they’d ever picked up a parenting book, gone to a parenting class, rly prepped for being a parent at all...... in their entire lives.

that being said, her mom was actually decent at parenting. her major flaw, though? ok, so you know how kids usually have that one bedtime story that they love and want it to be read to them over and over? well lucy complied ! but y’all wanna know what that book was ?

t.s. eliot’s “old possum’s book of practical cats” whfeiuldjkn

anyway ! when jo was seven, after many failed attempts and simple threats, her mom was finally divorcing benjamin for realz. due to his volatile nature, it was becoming very clear that she was the more fit parent and she almost got sole custody ( the only reason benjamin was motivated for it in the first place was the power so?? )! how exciting!

but the keyword is ‘almost’!

alexa, play ‘my heart will go on’ but the off-tune flute version

just as the proceedings were going through, jo’s mother was hit by a drunk driver on new year’s eve. the car skidded onto some ice, minimal damage done... then the ice broke.

jo and benjamin both devolved after that. jo withdrew more into herself and pretty much coped by..... just reading old possum’s a LOT (hate that for her). all mopey, benjamin became much less outwardly violent. the keyword is ‘outwardly.’

ya, instead of j bein like “i will just chill” he was like “i will just make my rage more subtle because in this house, we love intimidation, manipulation, hostility, the blame game, and gaslighting! uwu” managed to convince jo that her mother’s death was somehow her fault, that he was the only person she could trust, that she will never be able to live without someone else, etc., etc.

a few years in and a cycle of many impromptu sleepovers began. luv that for her. hate that for her, but luv that for her.

there is a lot i cld talk abt here, but it all seems like it cld j be tl;dr’d as: “basically became the surrogate daughter of a bunch of other people”

as for things that r not tragique™, jo was v much a drifter when it came to friends. managed to make a fair amount bc she does not seem like she will put a tadpole in ur hand like ivan. also j a people-pleaser but that’s starting to get into her personality which is another section.

did go to college. luv that for her. has NO CLUE what she’s going to do with her degree, but she can make some really sick niche william faulkner jokes.

began seasonally working at big bear during the winter break of her last year in college because bitch needed some money!! wound up loving it and was like “i think,,,, i will continue to do this,,,, the people here,,,, r cul,,,,”

still visits benjamin every once in a while. not a way to say that uwu you should forgive ur abusive parent(s) uwu rather that jo.... still has slight belief in him. just to end on something emo.

THE REST IS HISTORY!!!!

TL;DR:

started life out as a saddie, not a baddie. still not a baddie, but no longer as much of a saddie. loves “cats” and there is no irony to that statement. can make good niche literary jokes, but that’s about it.

PERSONALITY/MISCELLANEOUS INFO:

a child. a literal child. a child to the point that she should have supervision when she goes on grocery trips because she falls for marketing ploys so easily. can’t believe she hasn’t fallen into a pyramid scheme yet.

an absolute dumbass. again, can make some great niche william faulkner jokes, but ask her the order of the planets? “...well mars is somewhere in there.”

unironically LOVES cats - both the musical and movie. thinks jennifer hudson’s grizabella is the best. will start sharing random facts about it or old possum’s book of practical cats if she runs out of things to talk about but feels pressured to keep talking. was broken when she first read a different t.s. eliot poem and realized he was actually super dark. the only thing that got her through it was a comparison to batman :\ bruce wayne is old possum’s, batman is everything else.

to take a brief break from fun personality facts, v down on herself bc benjamin’s words rly!! stuck with her!! convinced she is an absolute idiot and does not trust her own memory. v indecisive bc of this and always longs for someone to help her figure things out. tries to distance herself from memories of her mother because, again, benjamin got to her. her love of cats doesn’t help that, but... can you believe that’s her coping mechanism? makes up for it by giving all of her love 2 everyone else!! we love tragedy!! and needing to go to therapy!!

secretly knows her love of cats is weird and dumb. a part of her knows why it’s considered one of the worst musicals ever. but LISTEN. we luv rly weird coping mechanisms!

big dreamer. will develop the most impractical goals. she usually knows they are impractical, but still..... uwu

has decided everyone is good until proven bad! except for,,,, like,,, murderers and rapists,,,,

is #StraightEdge for the most part,,,, literally has a drink maybe three times per year

says “like” a whole lot for someone who majored in english with a concentration in literature and should therefore be more eloquent.

i am not great at these sections!! feel free 2 j refer to her zodiac, personality tests, and character influences!!

literally fox 8. i put the others there bc she’s similar but wow,,,, if u read fox 8 (it’s a short story i recommend it i luv george saunders u can find a pdf online),,,, she is fox 8.

here u go here is a sample that doesnt need context: "Fox 4 woslike: No ofense, Fox 8? Your ideas are not super praktikal. Dreem, dreem, dreem, said Fox 11. Fox 41 woslike: Fox 8, does this honestly never get old for you?"

OH ALSO. she has a slet. a cat,,,,, named asparagus,,,, whom she calls “gus”,,,,, and y’all know WHY.

recent development: has downloaded tor so she can get on the dark web. why? because she thinks there will be more funny animal videos on there. is shockingly good at navigating it.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

close friends bc we luv that –– roman (nuanced), aylie (nuanced), hazel (nuanced), cleo (nuanced), vic (nuanced), marco (nuanced)

childhood friends whom she possibly had impromptu sleepovers with bc that is v soft and,,,,, y’all i left the city blank for a reason. –– hazel, marco,

on that note, the person who was like “wait,,,,,,, u know that book was turned into a musical right,,,,,, like,,,,, a musical literally everyone knows” and shook jo’s world

good influence / bad influence –– cleo, vic,

~*confidant*~

roommate

exes –– ian,

reciprocated pining

unreciprocated pining

someone..... who has accepted..... that she likes cats.... in a way that is not ironic. will see the movie with her. –– aylie,

an enemy,,,,,, aka this person was like “cats is literally the worst thing in the entire world” and now they r on jo’s very short hit list –– riley

idk!!! im also obvs up for brainstorming!!! luv that!!!

** descriptive connections page is here ( only people who i’m messaging are on it, but i ?? would love to plot w everyone ?? so don’t make the short list make u think i’m trying 2 limit it 2 these ppl auhfoeidla )

LIKE THIS OR HMU TO PLOT !

#bigbearintro #y'all my intro style evolved!#there's a tl;dr beneath the bg info bc i!! rambled!!#i feel like i went back and forth b/t proper grammar/punctuation and.... not.... caring.#also i am. dumb 2night. it j took me a hot while to figure out how to spell punctuation and it still doesnt look right the english language #is so weird????#we post this before we have many followers we die like men.

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afterjosephine-blog1 · 5 years

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victoria pedretti, she/her, cis female ✧*:･ﾟdid you see josephine “jo” walker the twenty-seven (104) year old ghost walking around halloweentown? they’re known as the romantic, makes sense since they tend be quite sentimental & mystical. they work as a florist & (failed) poet and spend a lot of time at halloweentown cemetery listening to what are you doing new year’s eve? by ella fitzgerald. they’ve always reminded me of new flowers on a decaying gravestone, a fallen chandelier in the middle of a mansion. wonder how they’re taking all the disruption in the town. ( may, 19, she/her, est )

triggers: death (she is a ghost), (mass?) murder, suicide

disclaimer: i’m bad at math and figuring out years and ages required a lot more math than i was ready for, so i’m hoping i get my timeline right ! pray for me !

born in 1915 (march 5, 1915 to be more exact - gotta get that chart), josephine’s family (the ‘nickname’ didn’t come in until later) came from generations of money earned and establishment garnered. also i have no clue what i just wrote i’m writing this first bullet last asdfhjl

when she was six, she had her first encounter with the dead or dying. she’d come across a baby bird who’d been pushed out of his nest too early and, unable to find the nest itself, decided she would pick it up and cradle it in her hands until it evidently passed on. it looked at peace.

this is unnecessary information, but it’s good to note.

anyway, if you have the money, why not spend it? when josephine was seven, the walkers moved into a victorian mansion. the patriarch was fully under the belief that he would be the next nathaniel hawthorne –– he wasn’t worried about the family going broke while he forced them to let him focus on his writing, what considering all of the money they had at the time had been simple inheritance from generations of walkers.

(kind of important to note that the victorian era was actually... pretty recent? it ended in 1901 and this is all going down in 1922 so!)

within the mansion, they also has some much needed help –– it came with two butlers, two nannies, two maids, and two groundskeepers. they seldom had any use for the nannies.

there was definitely something off, though, and that ‘off’-ness just kept increasing over time. her mother claimed to hear things. she and her siblings claimed to see things. her father began retreating into himself...

which is why they couldn’t move! he still had work to be done! a great novel doesn’t write itself in one year, silly! they couldn’t leave! he still needed advice!

i don’t want this intro to get super long so we’ll skip ahead about a year. suffice it to say that everyone was still on their bullshit.

in 1925, when josephine and her twin brother were 10, her older sister was 12, and her older brother was 14, her dad full-on “heeeere’s JOHNNY”d them, then killed himself.

josephine and her twin brother (who’ll just be referred to as ‘her brother’ from this point forward) were the lone survivors of the walker family. as 10y/os, they both still fit in plenty of places that their father could never.

that being said, one of the maids had also made it unscathed. an agreement was made: they helped clean up the mess – she just couldn’t handle messes! – she would act as their guardian. josephine knew they were probably doing something wrong by cleaning it all up – cleaning up a whole-ass crime scene that included their family members – before any authorities arrived, but was she in too much shock to argue? maybe so.

after that, there were zero buyers. it was already expensive, but now there’d been a mass murder? who.

considering the maid never left the grounds, this did put her out of work. they still had the walker inheritance to fall back on, something that had been unlocked to josephine and her brother five years later, but that was it.

we’re gonna skip ahead a little bit because this is getting long. all that’s happened of note between now and the next bullet: the maid literally never left the grounds. jo began getting called jo. she tried to go to college using some of the inheritance then dropped out. she trained to become a florist.

throughout the next many years of her life, jo began trying her hand at poetry. she ultimately failed at it, but... some people just really don’t know how to market themselves. even past attempting to truly become one, she continued writing in the hope that she might finally –– after over ten years –– make peace with the massacre.

by the time she was 25, she’d gotten married. by the time she was 25, she’d pushed everything to the back-burner. by the time she was 25, she hadn’t seen or thought of the maid in years. by the time she was 25, she was discussing starting a life with her new husband.

by the tail end of her life at 25, her brother had died.

because this is a wanted connection on the main, i’m going to leave the cause unclear.

just when she thought she’d gotten over everything, as emeril would say, ‘bam!’

her husband and friends tried to be of help, but it got to the ‘beyond’ point when she started seeing her brother

another note: on the wanted connection blurb, i made it utp whether he was ~haunting~ her or if she was just hallucinating, so we also gonna make that unclear!

two years, a divorce, and multiple burned bridges later –– jo thought she finally knew what had to be done to get it to stop. she had ‘rationalized’ it as best as she could. in a lot of lore, ghosts couldn’t move on to the next plane of existence until they’d made peace with something or other. maybe there was something integral about her?

so she greeted the maid who hadn’t aged a day in the past 27 years, then proceeded to hang herself.

this would be kind of bittersweet tragic if it’d actually worked.

instead, this bitch was suddenly just looking at her own body like “FUCK. I REALLY DID THAT FOR NOTHING.” and gained this sick scar that wrung around her neck like the noose had.

the maid was like “i mean ur never gonna have to worry about aging now tho so??”

as it turned out, they were just in the middle of plenty of families who’d gone mad and died in that house... as she had only figured out after she killed herself.

boy, was she mad!

all of this partial humor out of the way, for the next decades upon decades, she was at a loss. the maid said that, yes, she was physically capable of leaving, but why would she when it felt so magnetic anyway?

with this in mind... jo left. it took an extremely long time to understand how to turn visible, and then even longer to understand how to turn invisible again. apparently she didn’t need doors – like, that was new.

anyway. once she had gained an understanding of what she could and could not do (rest in peace, salt), she began just... doing everything she’d been doing while she was alive... over and over again...

every morning, she made bouquets that she wasn’t paid for. every afternoon, she visited the cemetery to lay them on the most derelict graves. every night, she went back to the mansion.

did she need to find a purpose in her ‘life’ in order to move on? was there something she needed to make peace with? or was she doomed to ‘live’ forever, doing the same things, feeling trapped by the same place?

and that, my friends, is where we leave off.

personality, we’re just going to use various tests/ideas: i knew she was a pisces, kae said she sounded like a scorpio moon – so pisces sun, scorpio moon, capricorn rising (i have a birth chart now) ; total and complete enneagram type 4 ; i honestly don’t use mbti that much anymore but probs infp ; i’m undecided between hufflepuff and gryffindor... then again, i never read the books i just know she isn’t a slytherin and ppl always forget about ravenclaw ; i think melancholic? possibly phlegmatic? j definitely not choleric or sanguine

my mind! it’s so powerful!

connection ideas:

twin brother wc is on the main !

her ex-husband... but make him some immortal or undead being that, therefore, would still be alive.

other writers she’s met through the years, be they in ‘recent’ years ( any time after 1942 adhsjfl ) or in what she’d consider to be ‘her’ years.

idk just. friends. some pretty loose stuff!

any type of connection can be w/ any gender btw!

i’m. not great at wcs, but i’ll keep them coming!

i’m also so open to brainstorming or checking yours out!

like this or hmu to plot !

*my discord is also @ john donne’s whore#5590 if you prefer discord! psa that it literally won’t let me use the mobile version tho which makes plotting there! harder!

#htown.intro #me looking @ everyone's ooc information: im baby.img

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lunar-lattice · 4 years

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an anonymous friend of mine asked me outta curiosity for the rest of the questions off the Cursed OC Fandom meme so here we go

1. Who is the character that the fandom makes a joke ala Komaeda or Sans?

on one hand, Dax did begin life as a half-joking caricature of a white jock dude but on the other, he’s supposed to be that but too nice to actually be a dick

2. Who is the character everyone gets the hots over?

not gonna pick anyone out of Saturnia because that’d be really fuckin weird sooo Booker! he’s a gruff middle-aged jaded guy and people will lose their ever-living shit over that

3. Who is the fan favorite?

is it anyone but Error, every edgy kid’s sparklecore cat OC (yes I am calling out 14-year-old me)

4. Who is the one that is Problematic and will get you a callout if you like them?

I don’t have too many minor villains in Saturnia and the ones i do have are TOO minor for this. Except maybe Lust?? people would definitely latch onto her ability to make people do what she wants and balloon from there. Lust the character is 100% nonsexual but you know people will make her sexual then call me out for that

5. Who is Problematic but also Did Nothing Wrong?

Maelstrom’s backstory basically points out a lot of what he does is informed by his childhood (or lack thereof one) so like....you know people are gonna jump on the #MaelstromDidNothingWrong bandwagon

6. Who is mischaracterized by the fandom and how?

Error is misread as a flat out hostile character who is using Obsidian for his own ends and is gonna double-cross everyone (which funnily enough was his initial characterization)

7. Who’s the villain that everyone loves despite them being one?

Maelstrom, as said up top and like, that’s fine as long as we note that razing places and performing weird magical experiments means you are, in fact, doing a lot wrong

8. What is the fandom ship?

It’s gonna be Clair/Agatha for 13 Knights and yknow, they deserve it

9. What is the fandom ship that no one should be shipping?

OBSIDIAN/ERROR AND IM DOING EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO KILL IT BEFORE IT CAN LIVE

10. What’s a weird ship people have attached themselves to?

on one hand, Sangri/Maelstrom is canon but on the other hand, everything about their relationship is implied rather than shown and I think ppl will eat that up

11-15: https://lunar-lattice.tumblr.com/post/190282644319/ok-i-know-ur-the-op-of-that-post-and-idk-if-youre

16. Who is weirdly sexualized by fandom?

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: IT’S LP! he’s a grumpy depressed demon guy and i know yall will think somewhere, he’s a flirty badass (he’s really not, he’s pathetic nowadays)

17. Who gets woobified ( ie. uwu poor baby )?

it’s gonna be Maelstrom

18. Who gets humanized as a tall thin white dude in a suit and top hat?

once more it’s Maelstrom (or Mirage which is leagues worse considering that’s pretty much against his character)

19. Who does the fandom think is “waifu material”?

It’s a tie between Valentine (because she’s an airhead) or Moxie (because she can and will kill you)

20. Who is the red one and who is the blue one?

Obsidian and Error obviously

21. Free Talk! Pick an OC and talk about how you think fandom would perceive them (can be specified by asker but if none is chosen, you can pick someone).

Obsidian would be 100% made into ‘uwu poor baby’ and that he is justified to keep running away from the things he needs to do and that it’s okay he stays this ball of anxiety that refuses to overcome it

#wildcat answers #just wildcat things #oc tag #a lot of these have multiple answers but i tried to stick to Saturnia this time around since its my main headworld #ill tag everybody uhhhhh later

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pgoeltz · 5 years

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@blueshieldca been begging for over a yr to get somtreatment for my back and health, its a nightmare, while CEO makes 42 million, i fight for hard worked benifits. told to go to er??? my pain doctor told me yesterday he will buy the book of my death by bs of ca, as they dont care >>>>>

all the notes they want me to go to a place that does not understand billing and i will be out of a 8 week program in 7 days

paul goeltz 0aaaaa663 is social, and out of state, so special CS, heck they try, but i think i spend to much money and cutting cost to pay the ceo seem to be of more importance then helping ppl16 JAN 2019, 07:57btw i’m half dead from lack of case management, ur doctors that deny my back the right ops, meds, now i guess my pain meds is a no no so retire have to pay 30 its all profit so that fat white man can make 35 million dont worry the world will see it all, you all should be ashamed at your corupt industry money over health16 JAN 2019, 10:55Thank you for supplying your info, Paul. One of our Specialists will reach out shortly to assist. – SR18 JAN 2019, 07:10and thank for calling, but we had to hang up as i was waiting forBS of ca to call, she said she would call back yesterday was here all day, will be back here today, after pt so after10.30am MTand no call so maybe u can let them know here latter today..18 JAN 2019, 10:03I apologize for missing our call yesterday. I’ll call you after 10:30 today. – KristaTHURS 22:10well here we are 6 months later almost dead still zero@BlueShieldCA thanks claiming to #care #fastservice #CustomerService &blah blah blah, i have been trying 2get treetment 4almost a yr, ur #contractor doing #casemanagement has no clue, ur #phone reps dont call back, i dont think BS cares if i live or die its all #money and #F me.ask Esperanza Ramos RN she can explain how sick ur case mangement is and how mr goelts is stuck in the middle of hell and getting nothingwell i can start going to the er every 2 days that will cost about 100k real quickas ur call center says all the help is at the er they will help[ you and call us to figure out what to do with you, thats from ur call centerFRI 08:09anotherday waiting while BS and records and doctors try to figure out why or how paul can use benifits in both medical and mental, oh no, if we?BS keep hold off and FOOLING HIM WE WILL NOT HAVE TO PSAY AND CEO MAKES MILLIONS AND GETS GRT MEDICAL CARE, WELL STILL WAITINGI SHOULD BE TAKING PICTURES OF ME WITHERING AWAY 40 LBS ALREADY….FRI 09:58We’re sorry for your frustration. A Specialist will reach out to you shortly. – JessicaHi Paul. I’ve reviewed your policy and see that you’re trying to receive inpatient detox care. I also see that your case manager Esperanza is currently out of the office, which is why she hasn’t reached out to you. In some of your case notes I see that you stated the appeal filed on your behalf is incorrect. Can you please clarify if this is true? The appeal was assigned to a coordinator this morning, so if I need to remove the appeal I can. Also, if you could clarify exactly what you are wanting, I can work with your case manager to get you the required treatment. Please let me know as soon as possible. – Cortneymore than that if you want to talk call plsi dont have a case managerthey were fired as no brains4066423052FRI 11:45fyi Esperanza is not my case managedr she is trying to help after seeing the messing your case management co got me in, i have no case manager, and i need one to work both side of this medical and mental, So shortly is that longer than 3 hrs? yes the appeal that was filed is all wrong, meanwhile that much closer to death, hope everyone is getting a good laughno you dont need to remove tghe appeal it should have been filed a month ago as i called to file and the lady did nothing not even contact esEsperanza , and the grievence filed is wrong, i dont have time for this i needed help almost a yr ago when does this stopper doc kemple i need a level 4 detox or better, and admit in to a pain program such as siera tuscon, hohn hopkins miami jewish health this all are for pain ppeole not drug addicts, while i explain this for the 300th time why dont you ask sherly jones who screwed it all up and that case management cohello anyone calling so i can blab for 302 times to see if i can get helpFRI 16:33Hi Paul. Your case has been escalated to upper management. You should be receiving an answer from them by Tuesday. We have our very best working on your case. – Cortneyon Wed, May 1, 2019 at 10:00 AM paul goeltz <[email protected]> wrote:Attn: Carmen G.”/ Cortney W.So the grievance is all wrong, those are not my words. the program if opened1 per doc kemple i need a medical detox 4 or higher and inpatient pain rehab or best might end up back on a pump, reeading mjh, not sure they do detox and what levels?there is many pain clinics that are hooked to hospital, for ppl like me with medical conditions.the couple i gave was my research.i also want to complain about the company you hired to do case management, they did nothing and left this in a mess.that said i need case management or help with this. are you saying in one week if the codes are not right i will be in the first week of a 5-8 week in patient stay, as the detox is part one learning to try to live with out pain meds are reducing them takes learning, so i might as well shoot myself now, it took a year of begging to get this and now it being forced down my throat, i have talked to no one about any of these places!! Sheryl and that company was to help me decide and make a wise choice but what happened? so ur saying the hell with Paul after one week, it gives the hospital no faith in blue shield and they probably will not give me the care i need seeing BS want to still play games.Another part is why no case manager/ i don’t know how when I’m out of it both detoxing and with out pain meds, you can get me out and who will fight for me, you tell ppl don’t should NOT! make decision when on opiates, well over 20 yrs so your asking me to make a life decision even though it bad a dangerous//?? why is this all messed up you ask us to make the bad decision even though you know your to help??if this is what there is, your blue shield doctors don’t talk, how do you sign them up, this is real said, messing with ppl life’s here, no case, you figure it out goeltz, i have been but now its all wrong, well the best is after a week when they boot me, i;ll go er to er. so what about the case manager telling me to go to drug and booze detox, for 2 months she had me calling those places and listing to there lies you’ll be fine with the serenity bed etc, and Sheryl just said yes to everything, like she had to help another person with one place, does it not take 3-5 place to make an informed decision?? i wanted kemples medical necessity letter and records sent to 5 to make the right choice for me and bs so you get value. you should be a part that what Sheryl was do do not just chicken out.miamijewishhealth.org/healthcare-services-programs/rosomoff-center/ maybe not best fit, but maybe lowball for you and no one has even compared them, does BS not want whats best??https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/psychiatry/specialty_areas/pain/patient_information/inpatient.htmlhttps://www.sierratucson.com/programs/pain-management-recovery/https://lasvegasrecovery.com/pain/so it appears all the help for a week in a long program, is just insane? is the bottom line the only thing BS of ca cares about.DO I JUST NEED DETOX?It’s important to know that detox alone will not solve a drug use problem. Some individuals find that once they have successfully completed detox, they still need to enroll in a program to help them rebuild their life after prescription pain killers. Freedom Model Retreats offers a Cognitive Behavioral Learning program that uses self assessment and self change to teach guest to reevaluate their choices and decisions and to make choices that are more productive. Guests learn the importance of forming habits and behaviors that are positive and more purposeful and they realize that they have the power to take back control of their life and to have a life that is permanently free from substance use. see most detox is for abuser, they get to learn to cope and so do i it takes tiome 5-8 weeks to tryiong out different meds, drips, etc, we dont get this right i will be back, i will take this to the highest court. the boozes and dopers dont have any issues but paul goeltz who omnly takes what is giving noting lost stolen etc, i been told your not hooked so no detox and you can go to any detox and blue shiled will get with the place to decide?? ok what is the plan after detox? is there detox what level, can i pay for higher like 5/anyway please dont leave me after one week if you want me to go to miami jewish is a program, they are layughing at BS all ready, your showing your card, they know you dont want to pay. i can say if i dont get into a good programthis just seems like here toss paul a bone and we dont even know if this is right placepgso i spoke with a couple doctors< they all came to the same conclusion, BS could care less, and this will make a great best seller, why paul died while trying to get help/ kemple told me he spoke with higher ups there, and going into a program that is 5-8 weeks with just a week approved is a death sentence! people detoxing from drugs or booze don’t have to deal with this?It sounds like MJH does not understand the codes and billing, which would mean me suffering, and having to appeal a program?? Not even sure if MJH does detox, i was told they do from that case management company you hired and relieved?? Did we get all of there case notes??What happened to https://lasvegasrecovery.com/pain/ orsierratucson.com/programs/pain-management-recovery/https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/psychiatry/specialty_areas/pain/patient_information/inpatient.htmlmiamijewishhealth.org/healthcare-services-programs/rosomoff-center/http://med.stanford.edu/pain.html how can BS pay for drinkers at these places but not a rehab pain patient??also why cant that company that you hired to do case management help? yes they got tossed off, but that is there job i have the sheet in front of me, it does no say i can have case manger if just using medical or mental, as i had them with just medical, so i demand there help. and a nurse that will help me make informed thoughts ideas etc, this also is in the job description. there number is 1 866 567 6195, i called them again week ago asking for help and was told they will be in touch this seems to be very common at BS, were laddies say oh we will call back or i will file a grievance and have not … i called 3 times about grievance and the last one went but not my words, 2 ladies did nothing, same with that company, they claim an inability to help.yes @blueshieldca is paying the ceo over 42 million, meanwhile my pain doctor is trying to get spinal rehab 5-8 weeks inpatient, yes it will cost, but no BS wants to pay there #nonprofits brass billions, and us the workers we get #Death sort of like living in #gaza @scvwdANONdaisypgöeltz added,Sauk River Review@OldSaukRiverReplying to @OldSaukRiver @pgoeltz and 10 othersHow can Uaccept it’s ok4 some 2die while others can live? This is the kind of choice Nazis offered -what our pol system in DC -overrun by insur & pharma interests turns them in2 w/this fully unacceptable form of bargaining.…WERLL HOPE YOU CAN SEE THE ISSUEShare this:

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