#and those are 2 relatively small (in the big picture) things but

[remlionheart]

Can you do a Chuuya x fem reader where her bra can be shown from her white shirt?

pov: you request a simple spicy lil fic from me, but my manic brain is physically incapable of not giving it an entire backstory and plot and making it at least 4k+ words (thank you so much for this idea tho, it was super fun to write! ღ)

* ˚ ✦ MDNI ✦˚ *

Sex, Money, Feelings, Die

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ My first attempt at Chuuya smut (and goddamn, do I love that angry lil man ★~(◡‿◡✿). New to the city, you're coerced into working for the PM after a drunken night out. Scared and now in the heart of one of Japan's most notorious criminal organization's headquarters, you decide to reclaim some of your power by ~*teasing the absolute fuck out of Chuuya Nakahara~*. 4.8k words. Porn with a plot. I can't even lie, this shit had me giggling and kicking my feet while writing, lemme know whatcha think. luv u ღ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

When you'd first moved to Yokohama 2 months ago, you had promised your parents that you'd be safe. That you'd find yourself a decent office job to afford you a lofty apartment and that you'd be settled in relatively quickly. You'd pictured yourself walking amongst tall buildings on your days off. Exploring the city with your coworkers on the weekends. Living instead of just existing in your small hometown.

You thought you had your future all mapped out and maybe you did, but those dreams of normalcy were all but destroyed the night you crossed paths with Koyo Ozaki.

She had noticed you from across the bar, quietly observing the way you'd been drinking by yourself all night. It was odd to see a girl with your beauty and lack of abilities so confidently roaming downtown alone. She wasn't sure if you were brave or naive, but the moment you took a seat next to her to thank her for the whiskey and coke she had ordered you, she realized you were the perfect blend of both.

She'd spent the next hour chatting you up, effortlessly coaxing information out of you without you realizing it. She'd offered you an administrative assistant role for the group she worked for, describing it as a "lucrative" and "underground" organization. You were in no position to say no, especially after spending the last month relentlessly applying to jobs with little to no luck.

You woke up the next day musing about silly things like fate and serendipity as you raided your closet for the perfect first day outfit. You felt like this was your big break. The first stop on the roadmap of adulthood that you'd created for yourself. You ironed a pair all black slacks, pairing it with a white-button up quarter-sleeve shirt, and your favorite suede Mary-Janes. Optimism swirled through your head as you eyed yourself in your bedroom mirror that night. You were determined to be so good at this job.

You showed up freshly showered and prepared when you arrived at the sleek, high-rise building. Ozaki waited for you out front with a rather intimidating dark-haired man who introduced himself as Mori, head of the fucking Port Mafia.

Your anxiety rose with each step you took behind them, quickly realizing that this was not the run-of-the-mill clerical job you had envisioned while hazily chatting with Ozaki over whiskey-neats. This was an underground criminal organization full of some of the strongest ability users in the world. You had absolutely no idea why you were here. Why you'd been selected, let alone trusted, to work alongside these people.

You were given your own small office, equipped with a bare desk and landline phone. Mori told you to stay put, explaining that you were to stay out of sight until further notice. You were essentially there as a cover-up.

Apparently, they'd been scouting for girls like you. New to town and completely clueless. They wanted to bring in a handful of these 'administrative assistants' to help keep up the illusion that this was just another ordinary building in the business district of Yokohama and nothing more.

Mori left you with a curt warning about the temperament of the other Mafia members and a haunting, "Welcome to the team." as he closed the door to your office and disappeared down the long corridor. Your heart was slamming into your chest, your anxiety growing the longer you sat. You were angry. Disappointed in yourself for being such an easy target.

You sat for at least an hour staring at the wall in existential dread, wondering what you'd done to end up here. Wondering what you were going to have to do to get out now that you were here. Even if it wasn't necessarily a "job", it still didn't seem like something you could just casually walk away from.

You were in the middle of the Port Mafia's headquarters and you were rightfully, terrified.

The sound of two muffled voices pulled you away from your thoughts while you froze in your chair, realizing that they were right outside your door.

"You're fuckin' with me, right?"

"No, that's really where they're keeping her. She's going to be a fulltime member."

"A member?" it was the first man again, his voice full of shameless snark and volume as he laughed at the idea. "A Mafia member with no ability? C'mon, Akutagawa. Even Mori isn't that stupid."

"There's going to be more, she's just the first to show up."

Tension crept along your spine when both voices came to a curious stop, one quietly scolding the other before the heavy wooden door began to creak open.

A pair of azure eyes stared back at you, disheveled shoulder-length red hair draping off of one shoulder as he mumbled, "Holy shit."

The taller of the two, draped in a long black coat, tried to pry him away, but he shrugged him off with an irritated. "Chill out, I just wanna introduce myself to her."

The dark-haired man scoffed and continued down the hallway while his ginger companion closed the door behind him, leaving just the two of you looking back at each other skeptically.

Despite his height, he had a powerful demeanor. A blend of apathy and cockiness that exuded off of him as he carefully made his way towards you. "So, you're the new girl, huh?"

Your eyebrows furrowed when you looked back at him, your words suddenly stuck in your throat as his foot made contact with your desk.

You managed a nod, remembering the way Mori had advised you not to engage with the other Mafia members, but what were you supposed to do when you were suddenly locked in a room with one?

"God, we really can't just have one normal day around here, can we?" He sighed, almost seeming embarrassed as his shoulders dropped and he leaned against your desk in the spot next to you. "Stealin' girls out of bars? Tch, the hell are they thinkin'?"

His opposition to his boss' plan made you relax a bit. It was the first time all day that you thought you might make it out of here okay.

He picked up on your apprehension rather quickly, taking his hat off and setting it down before extending a gloved hand out to you. "Chuuya." He said simply.

You stared at him for another moment or two before introducing yourself, trying but failing to mimic his nonchalant tone.

"Hey," He said, lightly nudging your foot with his, "You're gonna be alright. I'm sure this gig will only last for a couple of weeks until they move on to their next big, idiotic idea."

"You think so?" It was the first time all day that you felt like you could breathe.

"Trust me, Mori's plans are always changing. He'll probably cut you a fat check for hush money and then send you on your way sooner than later. Just lay low in the meantime, yeah?"

Your eyes were still locked as you nodded at him again, giving him a feeble, "Okay... Yeah, I can do that."

"Good." He smirked, pulling himself away from your desk.

You watched him pause just before exiting the room. He turned around to face you again, his gaze landing a bit lower than your eyes this time.

"And maybe uh -" If you didn't know any better, you'd swear that you saw a flash of red flare across his cheeks. "Maybe don't wear that bra with a white shirt next time."

Out of all of the anxiety and fear that you'd been drowning in over the last few hours, your choice of outfit had been the very last thing you'd considered worrying about until just now.

You looked down, noticing what he meant as you saw the dark, lacy fabric of your Victoria's not-so-secret peeking through the white of your blouse. Your tits were pushed perfectly together, nearly on full display through the sheerness of your shirt.

He flashed you another faint smirk before clicking the door shut, once again leaving you to your own crippling thoughts as your head dropped into your hands.

What an absolutely mortifying first day.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

The next few shifts were a blur.

You'd clock in. Sit for what felt like an eternity in your bleak little office. Leave mid-day to grab lunch at a cafe across the street. And then head home 9 hours later despite the fact that you’d hardly done anything.

You'd learned to bring in books and cross-stich patterns to keep yourself busy throughout the day instead of rotting away at your desk. It wasn't an ideal situation, but if Chuuya was right and there really was a big check waiting for you around the corner, you'd decided that it was worth it to see this through. Because no matter how nervous you got each morning, the painful truth was that you couldn’t afford to turn down easy money.

By the end of the week, you found yourself doing more than just sneaking in romance mangas to make the job more bearable though. You were doing everything you could to gain back even a semblance of power.

If you had to be here, you had decided that you were going to make it everyone's problem.

With the ginger's words still fresh in your mind, you made it a point to wear darker bras. Tighter blouses. Shorter skirts that barely covered your ass. It had almost become an inside joke with yourself at what a distraction you'd become to the Port Mafia. Maybe couldn’t make these men fear you, but you could certainly make them trip all over themselves any time you entered the building.

You'd hardly been able to keep a straight face yesterday afternoon when Akutagawa's coffee fell from his hands and cascaded around him after he saw you walking down the hall in black knee-high stockings. You'd finally managed to make everyone here as uncomfortable as they'd made you and it felt good.

You were half-way through the iced matcha you'd picked up on lunch, sitting with your feet propped up on your desk as you continued to embroider the word "fuck" in pretty, cursive letters next to a pink and yellow flower when a knock arrived at your door.

You quickly stashed the circular cross-stitch pad in one of the desk drawers and straightened your back as Tachihara poked his head into your office. "Yo, new girl. Nakahara wants to see you."

Your brows knitted together as you looked back at him in quiet confusion.

No one had ever requested to see you in the time that you'd been here. Even in your attempts to disrupt their daily tasks, they'd still not bothered to learn your name. But now... you were expected to go see Chuuya... in his office?

"Why?" It was the only question you could think to ask.

"Dunno," Tachihara shrugged. "but I wouldn't keep him waiting. He's kind of an asshole." And with that, you were once again left alone and anxious.

You took a breath, standing up to smooth down the fabric of your skirt before venturing down the hallway.

You did your best to push Tachihara's warning out of your head, reminding yourself of the kindness Chuuya had shown you on your first day while your heels clicked across the marbled floor.

Maybe he wanted to tell you that he'd talked to Mori and that your time with Port Mafia was finally up. Maybe he wanted to hand deliver the check you'd so desperately been waiting for. Maybe he just wanted to see how you were doing. Whatever it was, you were holding onto hope that there wouldn't be any more bad news.

You let out a sharp exhale as you rounded the corner and found yourself standing in front of his office. You gave the door a light tap, fidgeting with the hem of your sleeve when he finally appeared.

His eyes traced over you slowly, his tongue clicking against the roof of his mouth as he counted not one, not two, but three undone buttons along your blouse that revealed the deep-purple push-up bra decorating your chest.

"Get in here."

His tone was clipped, dripping with what felt like vexation as he closed the door behind you.

His office was much bigger than yours, adorned with high-rise windows that overlooked the city and pristine black marble flooring that matched his leather furniture. The room was dark, just barely lit by a lamp on his desk. You wondered how it was possible for him to get any paperwork done in here but then promptly realized that with his ranking, paperwork was probably far beneath his paygrade.

Still not entirely sure how to approach the situation, you hesitantly took a seat on the over-sized armchair across from his desk.

"Quick question," he said, standing in front of you with his arms folded over his chest, his voice still riddled with irritation. "What does the phrase 'lay low' mean to you? Because I can tell you right now, this ain't fuckin' it."

Your pupils widened, his words hanging heavily in the space between you.

Your mouth opened and then closed again, too focused on the way he was staring at you to form a proper response.

"Is it -" you wavered, mustering up all the courage you had to try and play this off as innocent confusion rather than what it actually was: sarcasm. "Is it my outfit?"

If looks could kill, you would've been 6 feet under.

Chuuya's eyes darkened, a flustered hand rubbing feverishly over his face as he struggled to keep his composure. He wasn't sure if you were trying to piss him off or if you were just genuinely the dumbest girl he'd ever come in contact with.

"Yes," He said with all the restraint he could possibly manage, his teeth nearly grinding together with each syllable. “The outfits are getting out of hand. You've gotta stop."

You were playing a dangerous game, but you were slowly starting to realize that you were... winning.

"What's wrong with them?" you asked, pretending to cover your chest in embarrassment.

You wanted to hear him explain it. Hear him tell you in his own words that you couldn't wear short skirts anymore because it was causing too many unexpected erections around headquarters.

"I -" The poor redhead looked as though he was going to have an aneurysm if you kept this up much longer.

He snapped his eyes shut and let out a frustrated exhale, his hand now bawled into a fist at his side. "Listen, a lot of the guys around here have... noticed you, okay? And I can't take one more day of hearin' those fuckin' assholes talk about how they caught a glimpse of your ass in the break room. Got it? I'll buy you some new clothes if I have to. Just please, no more shirts like this, alright?"

He was actually bargaining with you. Entering the third stage of grief as he tried so hard to keep his cool. To keep his eyes locked with yours and nowhere else. To explain all of this in the nicest way he could.

It was in that moment that you realized where the real source of his trepidation was coming from.

Hearing his coworkers ogle over you was probably annoying for sure, but the more damning, infuriating fact of the matter was that he was ogling over you too. And he was fucking tired of not being able to get any work done when he knew that you were right down the hall. He was pissed that he had to come into his office every morning and lock the door just so he could jerk himself off to the idea of you.

He was in so many words begging you to stop because he wasn't sure how much longer he could take seeing so much of your body without being able bend you over his desk like he did in his mid-morning daydreams.

He was losing - both his resolve and this game at an alarming rate.

"Hmm," you hummed, toying with a pen you'd found wedged between the cushion of his chair. "Well, I'm sorry. I just like feeling pretty before I come in. I didn't know it was creating such a problem for everyone."

The wheels in Chuuya's head were spinning.

Emotions weren't his strong suit and doing these mental gymnastics with you was making him need a cigarette.

"It's -" he sighed, groaning as he forced himself to backpedal. "It's not your fault. I mean, you do look pretty, y'know. It's just... distracting, is all."

It was hard to hide your smirk.

You'd be lying if you said you didn't think he was a bit distracting himself, but he didn't need to know that. Not yet anyway.

"Okay, well," you conceded as you began to stand up. "I’ll wear a turtleneck or something tomorrow then.” You shot him a small smile as you got to your feet, "Promise."

He looked marginally relieved by your understanding. "Sounds good." He huffed, rubbing at the back of his neck while following behind you as you made your way out of his office.

But just before you reached the door, you accidentally dropped the pen you'd been fidgeting with. Bending over without warning so that your ass was right in front of him, peaking out of your skirt as he walked straight into you, his hips suddenly meeting yours.

You thought he might actually kill you this time with the guttural noise of frustration that escaped him.

He grabbed you by your shoulders the second you were upright again, spinning you around so that you were forced to face him.

“Okay, seriously." He said between gritted teeth. "Just what the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Your heart pounded in your chest, your breath hitching in your throat as you watched the unfettered anger flicker through his blue eyes.

It was a stupid move, you knew that before you did it, but you didn't expect it to draw this much of reaction out of him. His restraint was lost. Composure long gone while he waited for you to say something with his face mere inches away from yours.

"Sorry," You lied, "It slipped out of my hand so I -"

"Bullshit." He snarled. "Enough with this innocent act. What do you want out of this, huh? For every guy in Port Mafia to want to fuck you? Is that what you're gettin' at here?"

"No." Your head shook before you even had time to think about what you were about to say. "Not everyone..." Your eyes were still glued to his. "Just you."

You didn't know what you were doing anymore or where all of this recent shamelessness had come from, but there was something about being here that made you feel like you could do anything. Be anyone. You weren't sure if it was the power or the crime or the ungodly amount of money that Port Mafia was raking in, but the collective feeling of chaos that these walls housed was finally latching onto you too.

You didn't even flinch when you said it, instead continued to stare at him unapologetically, noting the way his grip had tightened around your shoulder the longer he looked back at you.

"What?"

If the wheels in his head had been spinning before, they were now fully off the ground, exploding into the air as his gaze drifted along your face. Searching intently to make sure you were actually being serious this time before he went any further.

"You really want me to fuck you that bad?" he asked, the warmth of his mouth now ghosting yours.

The question went straight to your center, wetness seeping between your legs as you nodded back at him.

Truth be told, your midmorning fantasies while cross-stitching the last few days hadn't been much different than his.

The gravity manipulator's fingers were suddenly tangled into your hair, his body forcing your back against the door while his lips collided with yours.

"Y'know you could've just asked instead of doin' all this bratty shit, right?"

His mouth was warm, his movements somehow urgent and careful at the same time as his hands wandered along your curves.

You smiled against his lips, letting out a breathy, "I'm sorry." as his palm began to graze the inside of your thigh.

"No, you're not." He smirked, sucking your bottom lip in between his teeth before biting down with just the right amount of pressure. "But you will be."

You let out a small whimper as he placed his free hand under your chin, moving your head to the side so that he could continue his descendent down your neck.

His leg wedged itself between yours, brushing against your clit while his mouth worked along your collarbone.

You were too lost in the feeling of it all to realize that he'd been leaving a trail of meticulously placed bites down the nape of your neck. Bruises in the shape of his mouth that he knew everyone would see.

"Chuuya -" you tried to protest, but it was more of a moan than an objection. "You - fuck, you can't -" You grinded helplessly against the firmness of his leg. Hips rocking back and forth, desperately trying to gain friction while he kept on nipping away at you.

"What's wrong, babe?" he purred against your sensitive skin. "You're wearin' a turtleneck tomorrow anyway, remember?" his breath fanned across your chest as he ripped the remaining buttons off of your shirt. A gloved hand palming at your chest, sliding your bra down so that your tits were fully exposed for him before you felt his tongue glide across your nipple.

Tachihara was right, he was kind of an asshole. But for some terrible reason, you were living for it. Almost embarrassed by how bad you wanted him. Wriggling against him and riding his leg. Whining while you let him leave visible marks on you and destroy the only clothing you had.

"C'mere." He pulled his head away from your chest, swiftly grabbing you by the arm and leading you back to his desk. He picked you up with ease, shoving a binder aside to sit you down in front of him.

"Spread your legs for me." His voice was heady, eyes glossed over with lust as you complied with his demands.

He held his hand up to his mouth, removing his black glove with his teeth before pushing your skirt up and sliding your underwear to the side. He bent over slightly, running two rough fingers along your clit as he watched your nails dig into the edge of his desk.

"Fuck," he groaned, still not taking his eyes off of you. He'd barely done anything and you were already soaked, your pussy practically throbbing for him. “You really do want me that bad, huh?"

“T - told you.” You whimpered, your head tilting back as he drew slow, blissful circles around you.

He kept up the same pace, basking in the way you were so easily falling apart for him.

“Chuuya, please.”

A smirk tugged viciously at the corner of his mouth, slipping a finger into you this time as your walls swallowed him. "Please what, baby?"

You may have had him in the first half, but you were now on the losing end of this game. Forgetting how to speak altogether as you watched him part your legs even further, bending all the way down to rest his head between your thighs.

You moaned at the feeling of his tongue pressing against you. The heavenly lines he was drawing uppp and downnn your center with his middle finger still sliding in and out of you. He was generous in the way he handled you, making sure he didn't miss a single spot. Lapping and slurping up every bit of cum he could as he added in another finger. Groaning against you the louder you got for him.

The only word you seemed to be able to remember was his name, repeating it over and over while your nails lodged deeper into his mahogany desk and your body shamelessly grinded against the warmth of his mouth.

You were in a delirious daze, losing yourself completely to the way he was devouring you.

He could feel you getting close too, noting the frantic rhythm of your hips. The gorgeous, fucked-out noises you were making for him. The death grip your walls suddenly had on him. He knew you were right there, right where he wanted you.

"Chuuya, 'm - I -"

Your legs were locking around his head, shaking uncontrollably as your hand ran through his hair.

He'd never admit it, but he almost could've came at the sounds you were making alone. The pouty way that you called out his name each time his fingers plunged into you was almost enough to drive him over the edge. You were so pathetic and adorable and he was determined to make everyone in Port Mafia hear just how needy you were for him.

As much as he wanted to edge you for what you'd done to him, as much as he wanted to make you beg and plead for him to let you cum, he couldn't fucking pull himself away from you. He was just as lost as you were, drowning in your cunt and not at all wanting to be saved.

His tongue didn’t leave you until he was absolutely sure that you'd ridden out every last wave of your orgasm, still pumping his digits in and out of you until you couldn’t take it anymore.

He came up for air with an exhausted smile, wordlessly coaxing your lips apart with his thumb before bringing the two fingers he had fucked you with into your mouth. Letting you clean off the blend of slick and salvia the two of you had created together.

"See how fucking good you taste?" he panted. "I think this is gonna be a real problem for both of us."

An enamored shade of pink brushed across your cheeks as he dropped down onto the chair across from you, running a tired hand through his hair.

"At least I won't be here much longer, right?" You said, playfully kicking his leg with your foot.

"Oh yeah," he smirked. "That actually reminds me..." Your eyes widened as he shifted around to dig an envelope out of his pocket. "Mori wanted me to give this to you."

Your hands trembled, opening it as delicately as you could to make sure you didn't rip anything when a check for 1,490,200 yen fell into your lap.

"Think that'll be enough to buy yourself a shirt that fits?"

Your eyes snapped towards him in disbelief, your pulse ringing through your ears as you tried to process that you'd somehow made this amount of money in a little over a week.

"Is this -" You stammered, thinking back to what he had told you when you first met. "Is this like a severance check then? ...Hush money or whatever?"

"Tragically, no. Mori wants you to stay."

Your hand instinctively flew up to your neck, covering the love-bites that the redhead had left you with, horrified at the realization that everyone was going to see them. Even more horrified at the fact that they had probably heard how you’d gotten them.

"What?"

"Yeah, he said somethin' about you how you've been 'boosting the morale' around here."

Your head felt like it was going to explode.

You had not only been marked by Chuuya Nakahara, but you were now being asked to stay in Port Mafia.

You couldn't decide which was worse.

"So... that means..."

"Yep. We'll be seein' a lot more of each other." He confirmed while checking his watch. "But hey, you better get outta here, Rando and I have a meeting in 10 minutes."

You looked down at your lack of clothing, the spit and cum that was still stuck to your skirt, the obscenely noticeable bruises that he'd so proudly gifted you with.

"Give me your shirt." you demanded.

"Nah."

The grin he shot you was so cocky, so vile, so... hot.

"Chuuya." You whisper-shouted, biting back your own stupid smile. "Be so fucking for real right now, I can’t go out there like this.”

“Shoulda thought about that before you put on that skimpy-ass outfit I guess.” He shrugged.

You hopped off his desk, straddling him in his chair as you forcefully began to undo the buttons along his collar.

The room filled with suppressed laughter, neither one of you able to contain it anymore as he finally conceded, wrestling you off of him. "Alright, alright, chill. I have extras in here, hang on."

You both stood up, your eyes locked on him while he walked over to an expensive looking armoire in the corner of the room.

He pulled a white shirt that resembled the one you were wearing earlier off of a hanger and brought it over to you, guiding your arms up so that he could put it on.

His movements were calculated, almost thoughtful as he dressed you, adjusting it so that it covered up most of the damage he'd done.

"There." He said, double-checking his work. "Now get out of here before I decide to rip that one off of you too.”

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ Part 2! ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

#chuuya smut #chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara #bsd x reader #bsd smut #soukoku #bsd x you #bsd chuuya #remwrites #skk #someone please take my laptop away #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya nakahara bsd #nakahara chuuya #bsd x female reader

[taeiun]

this love is small.

synopsis: some of the little things that they do in your relationship

who: zb1 x gn!reader (not including yujin)

categories: fluff, some crack, headcanon styled scenarios

warnings: mentions of food in jiwoong + taerae's parts, light swearing

word count: 1.1k

✧ JIWOONG !

✧ jiwoong gains a newly formed sixth sense when it comes to your needs; he knows your favourite snacks by heart and also picks up if you guys are low on them without even looking at the cabinet.  you don’t even need to ask him to grab a snack for you because he’ll just know. probably knows when those foods are on sale before you even open your mouth to tell him. like, he’s probably already picked up three bags of those chips you really enjoyed last time and they’re waiting on the counter for you.

✧ will send you a notes app shopping list so that you don’t get jumped scared by the random appearance of shrimp chips and sour candies constantly and wonder how they got there half the time when you both haven’t even talked about being out of them.

✧ ZHANG HAO !

✧ hao keeps a collection of short, vlog-like recordings of the two of you in a private, for his eyes only folder on his phone. he watches these whenever he misses you or feels down and needs a pick me up. these videos will range from past dates, his commentary as he records you sleeping, to not even a two second moment of you laughing. you might find the angles unflattering, but he treasures each and everyone, watching them with a goofy ahah smile on his face.

✧ the others have 100% definitely, not even up for question, walked in on him in the middle of a watching session. he’ll just be sitting curled up in bed, blanket draped around him, with the lights turned off and earbuds plugged into his phone. this ends two ways. 1) the member leaves before he can notice and all is well or 2) they tease him only to end up with a pillow to the face

✧ HANBIN !

✧ whenever he’s on tour or can’t see you for long periods of time, hanbin will keep a list of things that happen throughout the days he’s gone to share with you. he never wants you to feel left out of his life and wants full communication with things. he can send you all the pictures you want of his travels, but nothing beats the actual stories.

✧ he mainly keeps tabs of things he did but will include the members’ shenanigans if he thinks they’ll make you laugh. starts a new list every time he has to leave and each one is dated, the activities labeled for what day and the time gone written at the top.

✧ MATTHEW !

✧ a big chatterbox when it comes to you, especially when it comes to his family. phone calls, messages, will even in emails to relatives, the conversation will drift to you no matter the topic. the only criteria needed for this to happen is for someone to simply breath in his direction.

✧ matthew pivots the conversation so fast that it gives his family whiplash. they aren’t complaining though; it’s nice to see him so happy and they can tell just how much he cares about your relationship. he wants them to love you as much as he does and by telling them these fond memories, he’s sure they will.

✧ TAERAE !

✧ the silly man he is, taerae will send you selfie updates throughout the day of where he is. you could probably make and sell your own bootleg, limited edition, taerae of zb1 pcs with how many you get from him. from walks to the company building to convenience store runs, he’s always sending you a picture of when he leaves to when he arrives at the destination as a way of assurance he’s safe.

✧ stores all of these in a folder labeled “for yn and yn only” and refuses to post them publicly, no matter how good you tell him some of them are. the background settings of his photos are always interesting. sometimes the members will be there, sometimes it’s while he’s in a storage closet. it’s funny until you wake up to find selfies of him at mcdonalds at 4 am with a handful of chicken nuggets shoved in his mouth.

✧ RICKY !

✧ spoils you so much. he knows that love doesn’t mean the amount of money you spend on someone but he can’t help but buy trinkets that remind him of you. the thought process is basically just: “oh. this kind of looks like yn.” and proceeds to checkout with a ditto keychain. ricky pays close attention to what type of accessories you tend to wear and prefer for this very reason. if your ears are pierced, you’ll find a new pair waiting for you on your desk that look eerily similar to his… like what? nooooo he totally didn’t go and buy subtle matching stuff pfttt nah- ok yes. please wear it; coordinate matching outfits with him.

✧ also, don’t bother asking for the prices of these things. he’ll never tell you because he knows that you’ll pay him back and he doesn’t want that. he doesn’t expect anything back and wants to make sure that you understand that he wants to do these things. you also probably won’t want to know because oof scary.

✧ GYUVIN !

✧ omfg he will abuse voice memo privileges to hell and back in order to let you in on dumb jokes and random thoughts. gyuvin constantly has his phone close within his reach just because of this so that he never misses the chance to blow your mind with… whatever falls from his mouth. even when in bed. the voice memos range from “i love you so much i don’t know what i’d do without you” to “did you know you are always within three meters of a spider?”. you never know if you’ll be swooning or sleeping with one eye open with these.

✧ the worst ones come at night for sure; he’ll wake up suddenly, blindly search for his phone, string together a weird ass sentence that only he’d be able to decipher, send it, then knock himself out again and sleep without remorse for his actions. he should be paying for your icloud with how much storage he clogs with those messages.

✧ GUNWOOK !

✧ he’s classically cheesy in a way and sends you screenshotted song lyrics that describe his feelings or remind him of you. “#LiterallyUs” and it’s paper rings by taylor swift. can be unserious about it though. one time, you couldn’t hang out with him because of exams and he responded with “tell me why / ain’t nothin but a heartache”.

✧ there are times where gunwook will not only send the lyrics, but also a clip of him singing that certain part of the song. he mainly sends these versions at night from the bathroom, and you wonder how none of the others have stormed into the room and told him to shut up.

^ . _ . ^ !? told myself to take it easy and not post again this week but um... this is a heavily edited fic from my old blog @/luvjiun that ive been meaning to repost. hehe ok junjun out >_<

© taeiun 2023. all rights reserved. do not copy, repost, translate, modify, or claim any of my writing as yours.

#zb1 x reader #zerobaseone x reader #kflixnet #k-labels #zumblrfics #jiwoong x reader #hanbin x reader #zhang hao x reader #matthew x reader #taerae x reader #gyuvin x reader #ricky x reader #gunwook x reader #zb1 fluff #sung hanbin x reader #shen ricky x reader #seok matthew x reader #zb1 headcanons #zb1 scenarios #📹 . . by jun ! #zb1 imagines #zerobaseone imagines #zerobaseone fluff #zb1 reactions

[vickyzangels]

% “..but i kinda hope they catch us, anyway.”

# synopsis ; an anon asked for sfw and nsfw headcanons for tom but i accidentally deleted the ask while trying to fight for my life against tumblr because every time i added a border two other pictures would disappear tumblr i hope you fall down the stairs

# pairing ; tom kaulitz x reader

# word count ; 551

# tags ; nsfw further under “keep reading” (mdni)

a/n ; i’m gonna drop this first but i have a nearly finished smut oneshot literally sitting in docs rn if i get decent enough feedback on this i’ll drop it

sfw

y’all remember that interview where he said he’d “fall in love for only a night but that he’d be down for true love later”? yeah unfortunately that applied to you, too

this can go one of two ways, you work close to the band as staff or you were a fan at one of their concerts that for some reason has to keep coming back and tom took a visual liking to you

what goes down between you two after he first notices you is vague but tom keeps seeing you every time you’re around and you started weaseling your way into his head at every hour of the day

he’d never admit that though (yet), so he’s still gonna keep up his playboy act for a bit but you’re gonna pick up that he’s being closer to you like making small jokes with you and being a little nicer

god it took you so long but he finally let you squeeze through his shell enough to be relatively close friends for a while but this definitely became a “do i wanna know if this feeling flows both ways” situation

yes the feeling did flow both ways, too bad he was still a player and you didn’t wanna ruin anything so you just endlessly flirted with each other

i am 92% sure he came to you first at an afterparty absolutely wasted and told you in german “du bist so unglaublich schön und ich will dich so sehr.” you are so infuriatingly beautiful and i want you so bad.

unfortunately, bill had to translate for you

i’ve been talking a lot so i’ll try to sum up a relationship with him and add miscellaneous points

he makes an effort to act like a boyfriend in your relationship, like he doesn’t openly flirt with other people out of genuine respect for you

first date was something like you two staying over at one of your houses for the night like a sleepover or doing something in the city

he has never forgotten any important day for you. never. and on that topic, he’ll get gifts for those days nearly months in advance

he appreciates a person with aesthetic

i’m lying, tom would fall head over heels in love if you wear something even remotely close to his style

nsfw

tom is a dog, y’all have seen the way he talks about what he wants to do during sex but he’s the most respectful person someone could probably ever ask for, someone who wouldn’t hesitate to pause everything if you told him you felt a little uncomfortable

the type of guy to fake bang you from behind when you bend over to grab something.

he’d spit in your mouth, having you kneel in front of him and holding your jaw open by squeezing it then making you swallow it if you wanted to be touched at all

this almost isn’t a headcanon but he’s a tit guy, regardless of size he’d froth at the mouth just to hold them

there’s not a big dom/sub thing between you two but he’s a switch because i said so

y’all… his favorite position is doggy or prone bone doesn’t matter as long as he gets to pull you by your neck up to him

a/n ; wow. didn’t think i could write something like this but i have a lot more so lmk if i should make a part 2?

© ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO VICKYZANGELS. do not steal, repost, plagiarize, or use my work for anything.

#tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz #tom kaulitz smut #tokio hotel #tokio hotel smut #tokio hotel fanfic #tom kaulitz fanfic #tokio hotel x reader #kaulitz twins

[arminreindl]

Varanosuchus: First Fossil Croc of 2024

We are two weeks into the year and we already had a bunch of big croc papers, so today I'll cover the first of the two new genera named so far. Varanosuchus sakonnakhonensis (Monitor lizard crocodile from Sakon Nakhon) is a small atoposaurid neosuchian from the Early Cretaceous of Thailand, a country that has seen a virtual boom in croc papers this past year between the description of Alligator munensis and Antecrocodylus.

Varanosuchus was a small animal, maybe a meter in length if a little longer with a notably short and deep skull and long slender limbs revealing it to have been at least somewhat terrestrial. We actually have a decent amount of material of this guy. The holotype consists of a 3 dimensionally preserved skull as well as assorted postcranial remains (vertebrae, ribs, osteoderms and limbs), there is a second skull of whats likely to be a differently aged individual also showing a 3D skull and well the third ones just a skull table but 2/3 is still great.

Now this guy was an atoposaurid, which is a group of crocodylomorphs that lived from the Jurassic to the end of the Cretaceous, their last members existing on the island of Hateg some 66 million years ago. Atopsaurids were generally small animals with short snouts and longish legs. Some examples of atoposaurids include Knoetschkesuchus from Germany, Aprosuchus from Romania and Alligatorellus from France and Germany, all three pictured below, art by @knuppitalism-with-ue

Now the matter of ecology for atoposaurids in general and Varanosuchus in particular is not clear. Altirostral skulls such as that of Varanosuchus are generally associated with terrestrial crocodylomorphs as best examplified by notosuchians. Their teeth and size both obviously speak against being shoreline ambush predators like modern crocs and their legs are straight and slender, suggesting they had an erect posture and not the more sprawling one seen in semi-aquatic forms. Though they could have still had some aquatic affinities. The authors for instance argue that the osteoderms, having plenty of pits, are more like those of an animal that spends time in the water and would thus use them in thermoregulation. So maybe they did enter water from time to time, somewhat like some modern lizards, tho I think its fairly certain that they spend a decent amount of time on land. The artwork below is the reconstruction from the paper itself.

Another matter discussed in the paper is phylogeny, more precisely the relationship of Neosuchians and how Eusuchia is defined. On the first front, its worth noting that the paper recovered both atoposaurids and paralligatorids as monophyletic groups and had them be each others closest relatives, a notion that has been recovered before. More interesting perhaps is the fact that the next closest relatives to these two were hylaeochampsids and Bernissartia, which are typically recovered closer to modern crocs. Which in fact form a separate branch that is the sister group to all the afforementioned clades and taxa. And then you got goniopholids, dyrosaurs and pholidosaurs which are all more basal than the paralligatorid+atoposaurid+crocodilian group, which is back to the ordinary really. The second thing is the definition of Eusuchia. So for the longest time Eusuchia has been defined to include those Neosuchians that have choanae that are fully enclosed by the pterygoid bones (I know I know a bunch of anatomy stuff bear with me). So if the choanae was surrounded by the pterygoid, its an Eusuchian, if not, its more basal. Well, atoposaurids don't have that....BUT VARANOSUCHUS DOES. This, coupled with hylaeochampsids also having this feature and being recovered closer to atoposaurids than to Crocodilians basically suggests that the feature is not diagnostic for Eusuchia and instead appeared multiple times independently.

Moving away from anatomy and phylogeny and all that stuff, I think its very cool that croc research in Thailand has kinda picked up this last year. And fittingly enough some people have even worked on a short documentary covering the known diversity of pseudosuchians from Thailand, giving an overview over the named forms from the Jurassic to today, from titans like Chalawan to even these newest dwarf forms. While the narration is obviously in Thai, there are English subs and I highly recommend looking into it (even if I disagree with their depiction of Varanosuchus as arboreal, its perhaps overshooting the goal a little bit).

Finally here's the paper itself (tho paywalled) New Cretaceous neosuchians (Crocodylomorpha) from Thailand bridge the evolutionary history of atoposaurids and paralligatorids | Zoological Journal of the Linnean Society | Oxford Academic (oup.com) and the wikipedia page I've been working on Varanosuchus - Wikipedia

I'll try to write up a post on the other new genus, Garzapelta, later this weekend so stay tuned for that.

#varanosuchus #atoposauridae #crocodylomorpha #neosuchia #thailand #cretaeous #pseudosuchia #croc #crocodile #land crocodile #prehistory #paleontology #palaeblr #long post #Youtube

[desire-mona]

why i think richard cameron is Like That

the long awaited cam analysis post of sorts!!!

so to start off, let me acknowledge the obvious: CAMERON SUCKED FOR WHAT HE DID TO HIS FRIENDS. THAT WAS MEAN AND SHITTY OF HIM, HE DESERVED TO GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE AND HE DESERVED TO HAVE HIS FRIENDS STOP LIKING HIM. this post is just to paint a more nuanced picture of the motivations and reasoning behind his cam-ness. also i feel the need to address that my love for dylan kussman HEAVILY influences my opinion on cameron, so please keep that in find when u read this. if my bias shows at any point then feel free to offer your perspective, odds are i'll find a way to agree :3

-

lets start at the very beginning of the movie, his first appearance with the tradition banner. this obviously wasn't anything i rly thought of in depth on my first watch, but on my second watch i was like oh Hm.

tradition, of course, is a BIG aspect of welton that the movie repeatedly emphasises, drawing lots of attention to how nothing changes. i find cam holding the tradition banner especially interesting in relativity to neil holding the excellence banner specifically. cam very clearly tries his best to embody the rules of welton (more on this later) and very rarely deviates from those rules, although he does on occasion (again - more on this later.) but despite his attempts to be the manifestation of those values are never met with any praise, unlike neil. that's not to say that neil isn't deserving of that praise though, absolutely he is deserving, but in terms of academics specifically, cam's pretty up there too! this part doesnt exactly tie in directly with the rest of the post, but just thought id point it out first to add a layer to the rest of my thoughts.

how i view cam's character arc is something that's framed in a way thats not supposed to be viewed as an arc, i suppose (interesting considering the tradition thing hm). of course thats inaccurate as he does in fact have in arc, it just small in relation to the more forefront-ed poets. and it makes him ultimately less likeable, so.

during a majority of the movie (pre neil death) cam is known as the guy who doesnt like to break rules, that much is obvious, but in the end he still does with the dead poets society. now the reasoning behind that isnt actually touched on in a direct way, so there are a few different ways you can view that. i'll touch on a few different reasonings that me, @pencileraser1, and @good--merits-accumulated came up with.

my reasoning - i see cam's willingness to break the rules as cam holding his friends' idea of him on a high pedestal, constantly taking into consideration what they think. not wanting his friends to consider him a loser or boring in any way, he joins despite the anxiety surrounding being caught. not without fuss though, he does still outwardly talk about how this isnt something they should be doing. all this and yet he does in fact join, AND he doesnt rat anyone out for a majority of the movie (even after the call from god dealio!!!) fomo, basically.

nick's reasoning (found in this post) - he just wanted his friends to be safe!!! joining to (in my view) keep them in line in terms of safety as well as. i guess. provide the reminder of the consequences i suppose?? nick im opening up the floor to u if u wanna delve into this point more cuz ur definitely able to provide better reasoning n such. if asking nick to talk abt things was a full time job.

tristan's reasoning (discussed in dms) - cam's need for authority. tristan brought up a very good headcanon/ theory/ something or other that cam is the type to need constant direction or authority, and i totally agree! (reason for that will - again - come up later.) now this culminates in a couple different ways. 1) most obviously, adhereing (ehh) to the rules of welton, and 2) his relationship with the rest of the poets. due to the size of the welton student body, a lack of individual direction from teachers and staff is almost inevitable. so to fill that gap, he adheres to his friends' """"""rules"""""", and joins the poets. floor is open to you as well if you'd like to elaborate further, tristan :3

my thoughts of cam being super focused on his friends' idea of him actually started as a bit. i believe i made a hc post about smoking weed?? maybe?? and said something along the lines of "cam would smoke even if he doesnt want to, not cuz of peer pressure from his friends but more of a self imposed peer pressure. thinking its rude/ cringe/ uncool to turn down smthn like this bc all the rest of the guys r doing it." but after a rewatch of the scene in dps where theyre all walking outside, it started having some merit in my mind! in that scene, keating does a sort of imitation of cameron when he first starts to walk, something like "am i doing this right?", "am i walking weird?", etc. (paraphrasing ofc.) so i sort of took that aspect and applied it to other parts of his character and found out that oh, this actually kinda makes sense!

speaking of keating and his lessons, lets talk carpe diem.

now my interpretation of cam is that he doesn't exactly *want* to apply carpe diem in his life, seeing it as an antithesis of the welton values. only joining the poets for the reasons mentioned above. however, he does indeed apply it in my eyes, but more as a fucked up reversal and dickish version which eventually ends up in him deservedly getting punched. now is this how keating intended him to interpret carpe diem? ehhhhhhhhhhhhh,, it's complicated, let's talk about the context a bit.

this part is more theorising than anything, so take it with a few grains of salt if u wish.

cam quite obviously is a pretty big stickler for the rules, which i believe is a result of outside influence. id like to thank @lovech1ld for reminding me of this! cam's parents/ grandparents/ guardians are noticably older than the other poets, which, in my eyes, makes a heavy emphasis on following the rules make a lot more sense (respect your elders type shit.) so this, combined with the inherent fear of authority that most of the boys seem to have, makes him a chronic rule follower. but it goes further than that, after these ideas have been pushed for so long, i feel that cameron's started to mix up his own personal morals and values with the morals and values of welton, viewing those two things as one in the same. here's where that starts to muddy things up in terms of carpe diem.

i interpret cam's finking AS his application of carpe diem in his life, but as more of a subconscious choice. now you may be thinking "hey. mona. what?" and i UNDERSTAND! but here's my reasoning behind that. as i mentioned/ theorised before, cam has a very high opinion of his friends' idea of him, but this does eventually change after neil's passing. his subconscious carpe diem application, to put it into proper words, was a way to stick up for himself and his beliefs despite what all his friends think. again, being brought about by neils death, since he didn't choose to rat anyone out when the opportunity first presented itself during the call from god assembly. and i dont think cam sticking up for himself is inherently a bad thing!! but! since cam's idea of his morals are so clouded by welton's, this isn't actually sticking up for himself, this is just being a tattletale.

he did provide other reasoning for doing so to the poets of course, so lets talk a bit about that too. he says something along the lines of "i did it for neil" and "this is what he wouldve wanted" which is obviously bullshit, objectively. but i don't think he saw it that way, i think he genuinely believed thats what he thought neil would've wanted, as stupid of him as that was. obviously thats not what he wouldve wanted AT ALL, and why he actually thought that is FAR beyond me. but i really dont think he wouldve turned anyone in if he didnt genuinely believe it, especially considering the fact that he was PART of the dead poets. even if he was the one to confess, im sure he likely got punished as well. (which also couldve been what he wanted? tristan this is an opening to also discuss catholic cam on here bc ur reasonings for that were INCREDIBLE.)

on top of this, i really dont think that cam actually understood the weight of what turning in everyone would do. now i will say right away, hes not dumb, he knew that keating would be fired and charlie would be expelled, and that alone should've turned him away if he really wanted to honor neil. as i said before we started, he absolutely deserved to be punched and lose his friends, that was a dick move that ended up ruining two lives for a long long time, if not forever.

but.

due to him grieving, his rules = morals shtick, and fear of authority, i think he turned in the poets without giving actual, proper thought into what the consequences of that would be. which manifests itself both in the film with the final scene.

in the last scene where all of the boys stand on the desk, we see multiple shots of cam looking around and looking at everyone standing. and we (or at least i) can definitely see some sort of consideration to join them!!! he of course doesnt, and ends up choosing to sit, looking QUITE ashamed. this too can he interpreted a couple ways, either as him being embarrassed that his peers are doing this, or as him wanting to join them but knowing that he was the reason keating was fired. knowing that it would be incredibly disingenuous, even if he stood as a way to sort of apologise to keating + the poets for what he did and show that he regrets his actions, he stayed seated. and was so. so. mad at himself for it.

now i don't remember where i heard this so im not sure how to go about fact checking, but i believe the choice to keep cam seated was ultimately dylan kussman's?????? but dont take my word as gospel in terms of that, i very well could be wrong.

BUT! this gives me an opportunity to talk abt how much i love dylan kussman!!!!! nick vocalised the thought before i was able to in one of his posts, but considering the fact that i agree wholeheartedly, i'll reiterate it. i see rsl and ethan hawke constantly be praised (deservedly!) for their understanding of the inner workings of their characters, especially reflected in the desk set scene. and while YES ABSOLUTELY, i think dylan needs this praise as well. dylan was the PERFECT casting choice for cameron and i will shout that from the rooftops until my voice goes hoarse. so so so many of his little mannerisms, facial expressions, ways of speaking, soooo many etceteras are just so. so. CAMERON! even the most comprehensive directorial choices cant top an actor's inherent understanding of a character and reflection of that in their performance. good god! i think my new dream in life is to ask dylan about how he came about properly embodying cameron and his process in doing so.

anyway

with my dylan fanfare over, that about wraps up my thoughts on cam in terms of the film itself. HOWEVER. i have lots and lots of thoughts after a long convo with tristan about certain headcanons and post-canon theories and whatever. will probably touch on those but i dont really have my thoughts properly collected enough, so that wont be until later.

as per usual with these types of posts, everyone else is welcome to add any input they may have. cam is one of my fav things to talk abt in terms of dps so i will eat up every single little thing. thank u for reading!!!!

#desire mona #WOO MAN #this took a while #but we're done!! finally!!! #dead poets society #richard cameron #dylan kussman #banger

[copperbadge]

[ID: four images; top two show a small plastic shelving unit that has been attached to a wall with zipties, while the bottom two show, on the left, the remains of grey water in my carpet shampooer, and right, my fitbit watch band drying atop the wax melt heater.]

Weekend cleaning continues!

I did a bunch of small things this morning. I've wanted one of those nordic "drying cupboards" forever -- you know, the cupboard over the sink that you can put plates in to dry without having it out on the counter. I can't actually do that, so I did the next best thing and bought a super cheap plastic shelf and put it to one side of the sink where I couldn't keep anything else anyway. It's been useful but it falls over about once a week, so today's first order of business was 1. find the zipties and 2. ziptie it to the wall. Worked a treat!

After using the carpet shampooer I didn't empty the tanks because I knew I'd want to do more cleaning with it, but I'm also going out of town soon and I didn't want it sitting around with water in it, getting gross, so I did the last shampooing today and then emptied it out. I went over the hall rug a second time and then the bathroom rug, and emptying the dirty water tank went fine until I went to rinse it and dumped relatively clean but still "been in the shampooer" water all over myself. Crucially, all over the fabric band on my fitbit, so I had to rinse that out and set it out to dry. Fortunately the wax warmer makes a great warm drying rack for it.

Not pictured: my toilet that I just scrubbed clean, because it's still looking a bit gross so I'm going to try cleaning it a second time at some later point. Also not pictured, the litterbox that I dumped, wiped down, and refilled with new litter, or the blinds that I dusted, because frankly there's not much to see there. Still, felt good to get it all done. No one thing took much time, but I did get through an hour long podcast by Throughline about the Public Universal Friend and 20 minutes of I Don't Even Own A Television's dissection of The Maze Runner from back before it was a movie.

And then I went to see the Remedios Varo exhibit at the Art Institute with a friend! It was AWESOME, everyone who told me to go see it was correct that it's so far up my street it's a surprise I don't live there. If you're in Chicago don't miss it, it's on the second floor of the modern wing and a small but absolutely charming and beautiful set of paintings and studies. I'm definitely going to try to get back before it closes at the end of November.

[ID: A photograph of Remedios Varo's "Simpatia" or "Sympathy" from 1955, which she stated she painted because she likes cats. There is a large, very Polk-like cat leaping onto a table and being soothed by his owner after knocking over a glass of water -- while three more cats at least hide out under the table, only their tails visible. Both the cat on the table and the owner soothing him have bright spiky orange hair that looks like flame, and strange sparkling lines are emerging from cat and owner. It's giving big Hieronymus Bosch vibes.]

#naclyoho #national clean your home month

[vinceaddams]

Top 5 WORST fabrics

1. that fuckign. synthetic knit that some of the sport coats at work are made of. I don't know what it's called but I hate it. It's polyester with barely any stretch and is. so. DENSE. Worst thing to alter. Damn near impossible to get a pin or a hand sewing needle through, and sometimes it makes the machine skip stitches. A lot of the sport coats are half lined, and if you bring me one of those ones with the side seams pinned to take in, I will just take in the centre back seam instead because I DO NOT want to hand sew the lining back down to both entire side seams on that horrible impenetrable bullshit fabric. Sometimes it has a woven looking pattern printed on it, as if to mock me.

Some of the shirts at work are made of a slightly softer version of the same stuff, and I once tried to mend a small hole in one of them using a zigzag stitch and it shredded the fabric and ruined the shirt. They had to go find the customer an identical replacement shirt, because the stupid fabric couldn't hold up to a few tightly spaced zig zags. Bullshit, bullshit garbage fabric. I hate it, I hate it I hate it I hate it. Everyone should stop manufacturing it immediately. Stop making it and destroy the formulas so nobody can ever make it again. It's not even a particularly bad texture to touch, relatively speaking, it's just a nightmare to sew.

2. Faux fur. To be fair, there is some decently nice faux fur out there, but most of it is just such an icky plastic-y texture and it sheds so much. So so much, and then you're worried about breathing in floating fuzzies of plastic. And it can also be really hard to get a pin or needle through the base fabric, depending on what kind it is. I remember I had some scraps of white faux fur that I used for craft projects as a small child, and it was like that, and there was some kind of finishing (presumably to help glue the hairs in place) that made the back of the fabric all crusty. It's the kind of thing that's awful to touch if your hand is even the slightest bit sweaty. I dislike polyester fleece for the same reason. No fleece sheets or pyjamas for me, ick!

3. Really loosely woven boucle. Who would invent a fabric that frays so gotdamn much? Look at this. (image source) Awful. Falls apart if you sneeze at it. Unpleasant texture, and not even nice to look at. (Yes I chose an ugly picture on purpose, but it's not a look I like even if it is in nice colours.)

Where's your structural integrity?? You can have weird lumpy fabric and still weave it decently tight! Especially if it's wool and you felt it a little bit. I shortened a skirt for a co-worker and it was made of similar stuff, and I was worried I'd damage it because it was so loose and shifty. What happens if you walk by a tree or something and snag a thread? Whole thread comes out and deforms a big patch of fabric? Well that's what you get for making all your threads just acquaintances instead of best friends. (I hate poly chiffon for similar reasons.)

4. Poly/cotton blends, because they feel like a betrayal. You could have been 100% cotton but you aren't :( Could have been a nice comfy shirt or nightgown that could eventually be used for firestarters once it's too worn out, but no, can't use blends for kindling because the polyester part melts into nasty little black plastic blobs. Not like 100% cotton or linen, which burns nicely and leaves basically no ash. And I hate pilling, horrible hell texture, and synthetics tend to pill way more.

5. Anything with glitter on it, because it's contagious. Small sequins are also bad (see blog post linked in poly chiffon line) but at least they're sewn on and only come off where you cut them. I think we as a species have moved past the need to glue glitter onto fabric, because it does not stay glued. We have foil print, and metallic ink, and beading and rhinestones and metallic thread and all kinds of other ways to do the sparklyshiny. No more sticking glitter on things that might go in the wash.

Generally speaking I dislike synthetics and Bad textures, though everyone's opinion of bad textures is different. I'm also not fond of stretch knit, but it has its uses.

#ask #ask meme #fabric #sewing

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

MDZS summer vacation headcannons

...because it's so warm and sunny outside that it makes me think of the seaside

Warnings: some suggestive implications bc it's wangxian, ofc they're going to be horny

Under the cut because it got long

"Lan Zhan, we should go to beach some time soon!" Wei Ying says in passing as they're drinking their coffees one morning.

"Mn. We will."

Next day LWJ gives WWX a three-fingers-wide file with suggestions for destinations, hotels, fun things to do and reviews from several reputable websites.

It's color coded, laminated, with high quality pictures of rooms and amenities.

"We could have just looked online, Lan Zhan."

"You told me you prefer to read on paper and take notes rather than use a screen. If I can make it easier for you, I will."

It's all 5 star hotels with scenic views and luxury packages only. All the best for Wei Ying, no holds barred.

"Lan Zhan, why are there no prices in this file?"

"Prices do not matter, Wei Ying, I can afford anything for you."

What a man

There are also transportation options, all of them super fancy and customizable

"...a private jet?"

"It is a lot more convenient than commercial airlines, Wei Ying. Flights to our destination are overcrowded and at difficult times of the day for you to wake up at."

"You want to rent a private jet just so I don't have to wake up early?"

"Yes."

What a man x 2

(He also wants to rent the jet so he gets to comfortably join the mile high club with Wei Ying but that's a secret)

Anyways

Once at the fancy resort, they become the talk of the town

Hotel staff loves them

They never tip below 100$, they're both nice and respectful and LWJ glares down entitled Karens whenever they're in his earshot at the restaurant/reception/pool etc. until they shut up

Amazing guests 10/10, staff at other hotels is envious not having had them as clients

The top Google search of the week in the area is "single Lan men"

Everyone knows the super rich and super nice couple living in the presidential suite must be protected at all costs (and spoiled rotten)

They get so much complimentary wine and chocolate that they pack some of it to bring home and gift it to friends and relatives

There's always fresh flower arrangements and various trinkets awaiting them after they return from the beach or from visiting the area

Speaking of

Going to the beach is the only time when WWX willing wakes up early

He likes watching the sunrise

They have such a big beach bag

What do they even carry in there, it's like 10kg

"Lan Zhan, how much sunscreen did you even pack?"

"5 bottles. There are also 2 bottles of tanning oil, 5 towels, three charges, a power bank, money, two changes of clothes... and two bottles of lube."

LWJ is very forward-thinking, you see

The hotel has a private beach and the private beach has a VIP area - LWJ rents it all out so he and WWX get some privacy to enjoy the sun, sand and sea (and the sex)

They rent one of those fancy beach beds with a canopy (like this one) because just laying a towel on the sand is boring

Cocktails. So many cocktails

Bar staff has so much fun making them because WWX obviously knows his way around alcohol so he suggests all sorts of fun mixes and ingredients, it's a whole thing

LWJ quietly sips his mocktails and watches in adoration

(No alcohol for him until later in the day because he gets super light headed in the sun after alcohol and becomes an un-Lan clumsy mess) totally not projecting lmao wdym

None of the fancy apparel stops WWX from building sand castles and collecting seashells to give to LWJ as courting gifts like a crow

"Lan Zhan, do you think I could catch some fish if I dive fast enough?"

"Lan Zhan, look! A crab! It looks like your uncle!"

"Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, I think there are dolphins a bit farther out, let's rent a boat so we go see them!"

They do rent a boat, a small yacht to be more exact

LWJ knows how to sail and WWX suddenly can't be bothered with anything but how good his husband looks doing it

(They end up, um, rocking the boat before they even get to see any marine life)

They also rent jet skis

They race each other and do all sorts of fancy tricks to show off

The rest of the beachgoers are bewitched watching them

(It's a whole mating dance for them but people just think they're super competitive or something)

"Hey Lan Zhan do you think we can go far enough so nobody can see us and you fuck me on this jet ski?"

"Wei Ying."

"What, it would be fun!"

(It was)

(Why are they so horny)

The whole time is basically spent fucking after doing various holiday activities

Buying souvenirs? Fucking in the hotel afterwards

Having dinner? Fucking in the restaurant bathroom if the room is too far out

Romantic sunset walking on the beach? Fucking against some rocks after it gets dark (because sand is annoying and gets in unsavory places)

They take so many pictures

WWX posts almost everything on his socials and it's annoying

(nobody dares say anything bc LWJ would doxx them)

They end up stumbling upon some beach party at some point and ofc WWX wants to join in

The hosts are nice and a bit drunk so they agree, LWJ buys everyone shots and the party stretches until the morning

(WWX enjoys dancing and teasing LWJ about it but LWJ gives him the "you'll pay for this when we get back home" look and he knows it's worth it)

"Lan Zhan, let's go swim, I've always wanted to do it in the dark!"

(They do it. Oh, they also swim)

Everyone back home gets a little gift/souvenir thing which translates into an extra 3 luggage bags for LWJ to carry

"We definitely need to do this again, I had so much fun!"

LWJ takes out his laptop immediately and WWX starts laughing.

"Not that soon, Lan Zhan!"

(It is that soon, they basically have a redo of their honeymoon. It's great)

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wangxian #original thots

[ask-serendipity-sky]

Jimin Live (2023.09.01)

After participating in Dior's event, Jimin gifted us his presence.

The first thing that stands out is that this is taking place in his home which we had only seen during his billboard top 100 live.

He starts off his live by explaining that the redness in his red knuckles came from exercising. He doesn't specify what type but we can conclude it is by boxing based on the work out equipment he later shows us.

The nice thing about Jimin's live is that he gives us a Too Long; Didn't Watch at the end of his live.

We stan an efficient King. I wouldn't doubt it if he actually wrote down the topics in a list. Jimin's mind is neat and organized.

Unlike his house...he said it was dirty.

Anyway, he states that his live was about:

So let's address things in that order:

1. "I am living life thinking of several things."

Jimin explained that he took a "cold" approach in order to assess his performance during his promotion time during FACE:

The level of self awareness that Jimin has is incredible. Not many people are able to look at themselves rationally in order to correct themselves so they can start all over and be able to talk in such a way that doesn't come off as victimizing themselves.

It seems to me that Jimin was able to view the big picture, which was the entirety of his promotional activities and the smaller details. He didn't overlook anything. He never does.

Instead of coming to weverse to be coddled, he purposely didn't go on weverse so he could work on himself and clear his head.

He took the time to explain the Tiffany drama that shouldn't have been drama in the first place. Small things around Jimin are always blown up and made into drama.

He looks content and in a place of comfort and confidence.

Basically, he said "I needed to change so I did."

2. "Mood lights are pretty."

I will probably not be over this part of his live ever, either.

It's amazing that he is a millionaire with access to everything he wants in life and he needs a relatively inexpensive mood light that projects the planets.

Some people put value in the small things in life. It's heart warming that Jimin is still one of those people.

3. "Dior show was so much fun and beautiful."

He is THE Park Jimin.

Elegant and sophisticated yet humble and down to Earth.

4. "Please give Jungkook many wishes."

During his live, Jimin talked a tiny bit about Jingkook's birthday.

He stated:

•Jk was busy.

•They talked the day before.

•Jk was very busy.

•He hopes Jk takes care of his health.

•Please send Jk birthday wishes.

There is a certain way that Jimin gets when he talks about Jk. It's just something else.

Others things he sprinkled throughout his live were:

• He is working out and taking English lessons.

• Namjoon(ad) greets him when Jimin goes out to exercise.

•He cut his luscious locks.

• He needs our support and he will continue working hard too.

• He abandoned Suga marimo.

• He misses Hobi and Jin and hopes to pay them a visit soon.

• He wants to make his 30s the happiest times.

My impressions

I absolutely loved this live. I felt alive after watching it. It has so much meaning to see Jimin like this after everything that has happened. He is starting over like the professional he is.

It seemed a bit metaphorical that he opened his house for us to see in the same manner that he opened his thoughts for us to hear.

Even though he is more successful and famous now, he still the same Jimin from before. The guy who eats cup ramyeon and appreciates a good joke. And who loves to leave us puzzled by a watch that tells Jk's time of birth.

Whatever Jimin is going to gift us next will be even more amazing and perplexing, I'm sure.

He is a genius and we should trust him and support him. Always.

#welives #jimin

[janedoe-ing]

things that i encountered in my life personally that just reminds me that men will always be men:

my BEST FRIEND joking about he can belanja me pads and bras (when there is SO MANY things other than that, that he could treat me but then he chose to mention those two first, on the basis of us 'caring' for each other)

my professor joking about why would men wanna marry sb just to lose his scholarship (context: there is a case where a man has been said to lose his scholarship if he gets married in his contract terms, which obviously deprived his rights as a human being [read: Article 5 of the Federal Consitution] ) and then he proceeded to joke about how the Applicant in the case would and rather lose his scholarship, than his own marriage, in his words: "why would you want to be stupid by getting married" and "i'm just joking"

random men that i saw on my faculty STARING at women if they start to wear something showy, sexy, etc.

an ustaz in our school saying he's a man too (indicating he has his needs) when he smelled somebody using a very strong fragrant hand sanitiser in class

one of my club members saying that he couldn't practice family law because the janda's will like him or some shit (can somebody humble this mf down)

also the same guy as above: saying he's excited for the big event only because he wanted to meet girls from private unis

them unfollowing me and leaving me following them as if i wanted to follow them at the first place and these fuckers have the audacity to fucking requested to follow me back??? fuck you!

that one time i was in form 2 and went to a 3 days camp, and my group leader saying that he likes me because i have chubby cheeks (tembam) wtf

my dad cheating on my mom MULTIPLE times despite being a good wife and mother to his own children

my dad finding bitches that are the opposite of my mom (ie: sexy, skin showing females, and god knows what they are)

my dad abusing my mom (literally)

my atok kept asking my wan doing stuffs that he could easily has done by himself and act like he's an infant

my director showing middle finger to me and my bureaumates for screwing up during an event (mind u it was a small mistake and the damage is reversible)

finding men lusting over LITERAL CHILDREN on tumblr

finding men lusting over women and seeing them as objects and not a human being

finding MULTIPLE accounts saying they wanted to rape their sisters/relatives

seeing men on tumblr with these fucking porn bots accounts posting innocent selfies and tiktoks and jerking off to it and saying they wanna rape these girls because 'her mouth looks like it can give a good blowjob and they wanna fuck them so hard they will be crying out to stop and merengek'

finding accounts that are posting pics and vids of women IN PUBLIC (ie: public transport, literally in malls, pasar malam, etc.) minding their own business and taking pics where their bra or panties lines are visible on their clothes AND SELLING IT

finding accounts who uses AI to make a picture of women from fully clothed to being naked, in this case i found m*a sara's and q*sti*a rai***'s pics being used WHEN THEY ARE MINORS CURRENTLY

my BEST FRIEND (yes the same guy previously stated as before) instead of asking me what im doing, he asked me "woi buat apa" "tengah kongkek ke" like ?????? what the fuck

me telling the same guy to teman or help his mom to do some grocery shopping and he asked me why would his mother need any help from him or even need his company.....????? ICK

(list will be updated from time to time)

[malboraslihan]

serendipity. the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

mobile vers.

trigger warnings and disclaimer: the verse will mostly surround the death of a close friend as well as many triggering themes such as depression, illness and such. please beware of that before applying/reading the plot.

𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓 

           july 2016 marks the graduation of claudia madeira and her friends. the group of teenagers was known around the small town of harbor springs for their constant loud celebrations, rebellious ideas and even more, for having dreams that became too big for the city limits. it was a known fact, by their parents and anyone who could hear them daydreaming at the coffee shop, that they would leave town eventually. or at the very least, they would try to. so when the time came, the night after graduation, they followed their own paths and promised to never forget the memories they created in that small magical town from connecticut. 

            seven years later, things haven’t been good, for anyone. those who left, somehow ended up sucked back into town; by a relative who became ill, after losing their perfect job one day, after a break up completely broke them down.. the reasons are endless. and, of course, there are always those who never managed to escape, whose dreams were tucked into under their bed and plans stayed as just that, plans. 

            mrs. dolevan said it best, the town shifted the day the last one of them stepped foot into town. something was in the air, things weren’t working as well as they once did anymore. the town had grown old, there was no big group of teenagers running around and celebrating the life they were about to have. most kids had ended up finishing high school in the neighboring town, which made their parents move down there eventually. harbor springs was now a ghost town. with only the memories and echoes, family they left behind and childhood rooms that still held pictures of people they haven’t seen in years. 

            and claudia, of course. holding the promise she made to never leave harbor springs, and hiding the truth of her autoimmune disease from her best friends as they toasted to the last night together. she held the fort and kept their memory alive. and then, she saw each and every single one of them crawl back into town. 

              the doctors said it was bound to happen any day, the gossipers said she couldn’t handle another day of living with the fact they had all failed.

summary: a skeleton discord group verse based on the life of teenagers that were born in a very small town called harbor springs and grew up close experiencing traumatic things together but promised to get out of town (or at least try) once they graduated high school. seven years later, they’re all back to town for different reasons and one week after the last one of them arrives, claudia madeira, class president and their valedictorian, passes away from unknown reasons, causing them all to sit in a room together for her funeral. check out the pinterest board.

𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒

1. your usual rp etiquette: no god modding, try to interact and plot with everyone. please, no ooc drama and if there’s any issues contact me or leesh privately so we can handle it directly.

2. muns and fcs must be over 21, the age range for muses is 25-27. no problematic fcs, the usual banned: no dead fcs, minors, people who have stated before they don’t want to be used in rps, all that jazz. i also reserve the right to deny any fc that makes me or anyone else uncomfortable.

3. please don’t join if you’re not planning on being active. i understand school, college, work and all that can get in the way and that this is only a hobby but in order for a group to work people must be present at least once or twice in the day or a few hours a week.

4. this won’t be first come first serve, each mun can apply for ONE MUSE. i know there’s no way i can know for sure so this is basically based on trust and a suggestion but i’d love if we could bring new/undeveloped muses to the verse. the plot is heavy on development and in character building to i feel muses that haven’t been completely fleshed yet would benefit more from this setting. 

𝐋𝐀𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐒

the allegiant.  the black sheep. considered the disgrace of a family or group. the insurgent. rebels, stirs up conflict, goes against the norms. the facade. someone who hides behind a mask. the connard. the fallen angel. someone who fell from a high point in their life. the lothario. / the vixen. the luminary. the leader the icarian. spontaneous and adventurous; a free spirit. the pristine. pure, innocent, unspoiled, uncorrupted.

(you can find inspo posts for each label on the pinterest board.)

𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

if they left town: ( faceclaim, age, gender, pronouns ) can you honestly believe FIRST LAST NAME is back in town? they’re probably around AGE IN LETTERS now and i think they became a OCCUPATION. god, it was only a few years ago they were screaming about how they would PLANS ONCE THEY LEFT TOWN, right? i don’t know what changed but i heard some rumors that REASON THEY CAME BACK. either way, we should all be glad we got our local LABEL back on our streets, who knows what they’ll do next. ( alias, url, tmz, age )

if they stayed in town: ( faceclaim, age, gender, pronouns ) can you honestly believe FIRST LAST NAME never left town? they’re probably around AGE IN LETTERS now and i think they became a OCCUPATION. god, it was only a few years ago they were screaming about how they would PLANS ONCE THEY LEFT TOWN, right? i don’t know what changed but i heard some rumors that REASON WHY THEY DIDN’T LEAVE. either way, we should all be glad we got our local LABEL on our streets, who knows what they’ll do next. ( alias, url, tmz, age )

the app can be sent through my submit and while it’s not mandatory, i’d love if you could attach a pinterest board or a small paragraph about your muse or how they relate to their label. nothing fancy, no need to write a full on bio, just a bit more info if possible! 

𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐍

the allegiant: omar apollo (barbie) the black sheep: steph mandich (adri) the insurgent: nico haraga (amanda) the facade: rish shah (jana) the connard: sophie thatcher (ron) the fallen angel: teresa seco (lina) the vixen: jamilla strand (leesh) the luminary: drew starkey (bee) the icarian: ange jose (marie) the pristine: sabrina carpenter (ivy) 

+ camila morrone (kate) and michael cimino (dj)

#tw death #okay friends it's happening <3 #honestly let me known if you have any questions but #my idea is just a very chill group focusing on development and world building #lots of plotting and creating our muse's backstories together.. #okay i'm hyped i'll start rambling #discord rp

[christwi]

jimbo and ned headcanon dump

Ned:

Ned is partially blind, mostly in his right eye. their eyes are pretty sensitive to light aswell which is why they wear sunglasses.

on the topic of his eyes tho, theyre pale green. they were alot more vividly green when he was younger.

Jimbo helps him tie his headband on every morning

bro he can go weeks without showering without any complaints.

he eats raw meat sometimes and it concerns alot of his friends.

his only living biological relative is his sister, however hes found his own family now, and jimbo is that family, that and the marshes. while he doesnt see them that much, he still considers stan his own nephew just as much as jimbo does, even if he doesnt say that outloud.

hes pretty good at climbing despite his lack of a particular limb.

Jimbo:

im still thinking about his eye color but im thinking of him either having dark brown eyes or possibly some form of heterochromia for the fun of it.

ned refuses to let him use the oven unsupervised yet due to him almost burning down the kitchen on several occasions (and i say yet because hes still trying to teach him how to Not set the house on fire)

hes great at sewing, hes made some diy taxidermy and clothes from animal pelts.

stan showed him pictures of fursuiters once. hes still in shock.

he unironically enjoys eating bugs.

when he was around stans age he would bite people who pissed him off. still has the urge to do it sometimes.

has a bit of a problem with placing bets on things like sports too often so he sets a particular limit for himself on how much he can bet at a time.

Jimbo and Ned:

1. They designed and built their house together from the ground up and had to acquire a couple skills along the way from it, mostly via hurting themselves multiple times and learning to not do the things that caused that again and also getting advice from people who actually knew how to build things.

2. they arent legally married, and still werent after it was legalized. mostly due to not wanting to lose sales at their shop, ratings on their show, and lose a couple friends. but also because they dont see the point in signing a bunch of dumb paperwork to make them legally linked together.

3. they had a small, at home wedding, nothing big or fancy. they didnt want anything fancy to begin with though so it worked just fine for them. just a small ceremony with randy and sharon and a set of rings was all they actually needed and wanted. (stan and shelly were around 2 and 6 at the time, left them at home with a babysitter.)

4. yk the girls from the craig x tweek episode right. one of them carved jimbo and neds initials into a big tree stump and jimbo and ned were only notified of it because stan accidentally let it slip infront of them. (stan thought of jimbo and ned as being too macho to be gay so he didnt think too hard on it, but still does from time to time)

5. jimbos the more physically affectionate of the two while ned is more words-of-affirmation oriented. they learned this overtime and work with eachothers love languages.

6. ever since what happened with MBP, jimbo has been more cautious with ned. making sure he doesnt get hurt. ned appreciates this but sometimes jimbo goes a little overboard on it and ned has to reassure him that hes fine. but sometimes ned doesnt believe that himself.

7. theyve been almost caught and even directly caught being affectionate with one another on multiple occasions, but most didnt even notice or consider it anything other than platonic. and those who did (skeeter, but also sharon, randy, and shelly but those three dont count) have kept their mouths shut about it. theyre thankful and also shocked everyday that almost noones found them out after over 30 years.

8. they dont know if its "time" to tell stan and shelly about their relationship. they think shellys ready and plan to tell her eventually, stan on the other hand theyre waiting a couple years to tell. him and marvin are the only ones who dont know. not telling marvin tho hes just gonna have a heart attack right on the spot and die

thank you for reading !!

(post has since been edited due to some consistency errors cuz i wrote this at fuckin 2am and didnt think too much on it so yea)

🧡💚

#nedbo #jimbo kern #ned gerblansky #jimbo x ned #south park

[khapaleaf]

Done with my unfair run, finally (well, I was done with it on the 10th, but I wanted to celebrate by gorging myself on extremely sour candy, and afterwards I needed a day to calm down). It took me longer to finish than I had initially anticipated, but it was a grand experience filled with fun times. Anyway, trying to organise my thoughts here, because it will be interesting for me to see whether my opinions will change over time later on, and so into archiving mode I go.

First things first, I think Owlcat did a fantastic job at making this versatile and complex setting accessible to those who are not entirely familiar with it. Prior to playing the game, my own knowledge of this universe was limited to a small number of short stories and a much bigger number of memes without context. Yet going into the game, I never felt overwhelmed with new information, and felt right at home in the Koronus Expanse (or about as much as one can in this grim and unforgiving setting). The in-game glossary and the informative mouseover parts that can appear during dialogues to briefly explain what this or that organisation does, or who that person is and so on helped immensely in helping to ease into it. Bless all developers who do this, honestly. The soundtrack (10/10; not a single bad track, a triumph of a mood-setting music that seamlessly blends with the visual style), art design (pretty fucking metal – love the skulls everywhere; and it is also very interesting to see how Owlcat makes progress with each new game in terms of graphics), and characters all also play a big role in making the game a cohesive and truly engaging whole, and allow to uncover the myriad of complexities native to this setting. I laughed, I wept, I felt a myriad of powerful emotions. This is really it, this is what I want in my rpgs! And I want to play it over and over and over again. Fortunately for me, my brain is wired in a way that allows me to do just that without getting bored.

The main story itself is ultimately not all that complex, but the way it is built up within the game is genuinely interesting and engaging even despite the relative emptiness of the post-Commorragh chapters. I like that the planetary quests are structured a bit like self-contained episodes, while at the same time falling neatly into the puzzle that paints the bigger picture of the state of the Expanse. Still, I wish that there was a kind of overarching red thread present throughout the narrative like in the Pathfinder games (even though, yes, I get that these are vastly different settings and narrative experiences). For example, in Kingmaker, the kingdom has to resolve numerous issues throughout the years, but the threat of Nyrissa destroying it altogether looms over the heroes at all times – that is the kind of red thread I am talking about. It seems to me that there is a distinct lack of such a detail in this game, but if it were actually present in the story, the momentum after the third chapter would not have been lost, and it would have added some gravitas and an emotional punch to the later part of the game. Maybe there should have been more focus on Theodora’s involvement in the grand scheme of things, and how it affected the present timeline, maybe there should have been an overarching antagonist... There should have been more interactions with Nomos, definitely. Still, even with the blemishes, the story managed to draw me into a state of fascination and infatuate me with its vast cast, even though at times it felt as if I am taking part in a quietly moving tragedy, with every small decision slowly leading to a point of no return (but it fits the setting, so no complaints there). And really, this is not my first time loving a game with a less than stellar closing chapter. After all, both Tyranny and Kotor 2 stand among my favourites.

I do wish that it were possible for the player character to be a bit more involved in/written into the setting in terms of reactivity to their background and selected class. The amount of variation in the character creator with all of the different backgrounds, archetypes, skills and triumphs and so on is phenomenal, but the fact that it is all there pretty much only to serve the game mechanics side of things instead of the narrative is honestly a bit of a letdown. I suppose that this could be related back to Theodora’s insistence to forget their previous life in one of the earlier dialogues, but the option to acknowledge the character’s background would have been a fantastic touch nonetheless. I thought it was ridiculous that my first (and main, as is customary for my playthroughs) character, a voidborn, had the option to ask Vigdis to explain just what the hell a voidborn is, and how their lives are structured, but no actual option to relate to her on that level. Of course, it is entirely possible to disregard those questions completely, but then there would not be much to talk about with her, unfortunately. And she explains things so poetically, too. Just... give my character the option to relate to this experience (even though, as far as I understand, the rogue trader cannot be too voidborn-y, otherwise they would not have had the option of becoming a rogue trader in the first place). They did apparently add in some reactivity options along with the big patch back in February, but I do not have a save from that early in the game, so I cannot check whether anything at all was written in for this particular instance, or if this reactivity meant something else entirely.

Also, when it comes to the player character, I am still not entirely sure whether I enjoy the conviction system or not. I like that it restricts certain items, decisions, colony projects and such to specific conviction levels, but I do not like how it ties into the endings in the sense that one with the highest rank overrides everything else without taking into consideration the actual decisions made in the game. Basically, do tell the story of my character’s deeds, but do not presume to know what they were motivated by. My character had the most points in the Iconoclast branch (though it was roughly equal points-wise with the Dogmatic branch prior to the lock-in), and was described as an open-minded, merciful soul because of it. Open-minded, perhaps, certain in-game decisions do point to that being a possibility, and I do not even mind the fact that the Imperium feels the need to go to war with the entire Expanse because of those decisions – this fits, more or less. But was she merciful and compassionate? I do not think that a person who servitorises people left and right, uses them as fertiliser, thinks that cutting out the tongues of servants is a great idea to emulate, executes entire noble families as a precautionary measure, nukes and purges whole ass planets, and pretty much channels her inner Camellia on a regular basis is the space mother Teresa that the game makes her out to be. She is a basic bastard, but she is my basic bastard like all of my characters are, but I enjoyed her journey and I am rather protective of her, for lack of a better word. Perhaps it is a minor thing, but I do not like that the narrative makes assumptions about my character like that. And what of nuance? Sure, she did offer help to certain individuals, but it was done more from the point of view of someone who wants to ensure their loyalty, not someone who is genuinely concerned for said individual. That one dialogue with Cassia in particular was a defining point in her character building.

So here I am, trying to make a cohesive portrait in my mind, taking mental notes on what makes my character tick, and then the ending slides come up, and introduce their own static idea of what my character was like. Oh well, I suppose such are the limitations and restrictions placed on the character due to their native environment being a video game. Perhaps I could simply ignore this part, as I did with the whole kidnapping shenanigans timeline in WotR. Something to think about, I suppose.

Fortunately, the other characters, both the companions and the support characters are all a colourful bunch. And largely consistent in their attitudes and beliefs! Each of them speaks and acts in ways unique to no one but themselves, and I really like when the companion characters specifically chime in with their opinions and even have their own back and forth interactions in conversations. There is a lot of that, more than in any other Owlcat game to date, I would say. Still, when it comes to the companions specifically, I wish there were more deeply developed ways of interaction present. What I mean is that there is no option to really get to know them and become confidants, if not friends. I do feel attached to them as a player, but I would like to see my character actually interact with them more outside of their personal quests. Talking to Pasqal while he is being involved with all of the tech stuff on board? Cool! Cassia visiting the rogue trader to ask for their advice? Excellent, give me more of that, please. Getting drunk with Jae? Absolutely fantastic and hilarious (well, that was actually part of her quest, but it was still pretty unique bit, I think). I wish there were more scenes like that throughout the entirety of the game, but that is honestly my wish for any game that features companions.

On a smaller note, I also think that the book excerpts, letters and notes were wonderfully written, and I could easily imagine the personality of the author behind them, their worries, their beliefs and their desires in life.

I do think that there should have been a bit more voiced dialogue, especially when it comes to non-companions, to get a better feel for their personality as well as their presence in this world, but at the same time I am also not at all upset that a huge bulk of the dialogue happens through nothing but pure text, as I generally prefer to read and skip past the voice acting in video games on subsequent playthroughs, anyway. Unless the lines are really good, of course. And what is actually voiced is fantastic – Owlcat always manages to pick voice actors that are so vibrant and memorable and are a joy to listen to, always. Even now, I can read a line, any line, and imagine that it is spoken by Ekundayo or Jaethal, for example, all with their unique speech patterns and inflections. Here as well, the voice actors did such a remarkable job of bringing life to the characters, that I find it easy to imagine what their unvoiced lines sound like.

That said, I did not particularly enjoy the voice sets for the player character this time around, at least initially. It seems to me like they all have a bit too much personality, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but I am used to selecting these voices as a mere formality (so that the character would make noise when they are hurting in combat, or when they find something on the map), not as a pretty damn defining feature for my characters. It definitely took time to adjust. Still, it was an interesting experience, because these voice lines, somewhat surprisingly, helped me develop the character even further because I go into games without having a clear vision of what the character is going to be like, and instead develop them on the go. But! The voices for the dudes are all kind of revolting to listen to. Unfortunate, but not surprising, because I also disliked all but one in the Pathfinder games. They all sound like they have a fish bone stuck in their throat and need someone to german suplex them to get it out, looney tunes style. How will I ever experience the romance with Lady Cassia under these conditions, damn it?

Speaking of romances, I think it is hilarious that the one my character ended the game with (Marazhai) is on the opposite spectrum in terms of pretty much everything to the one I wanted her to end up with (Yrliet) before playing the game. On my first run, I was certain that the latter caught a bug sometime during its course, and thus ended abruptly without even having a proper start, but apparently Yrliet does not like it if one decides to stab a dude in the neck in front of her, as it was later explained to me. Not a fan of such colourful methods of courtship, then. But it is fine, I would rather see the characters fit together rather than force anything by having my character act in ways that do not fit them to keep the romance going. So in comes Marazhai. The dude definitely has some enviable home decor skills, is very useful in combat encounters and deals a ton of damage, sends out a bunch of his kabalites to kill the enemies of the dynasty, gives not one, but two very cool and useful buffs (and they are intangible, which means more place to equip all sorts other beneficial items – and there is such a wide variety of items to choose from, it is incredible), and is pretty hilarious overall. Also! He managed to take out nine fucking participants (five of which were at full health) of the Aeldari ambush all by himself after the rest of the party was taken out of commission. That was the most clutch moment of the game for me. So... A worthwhile investment, I say. And, most importantly, he and my character actually fit. It is stupid and hilarious, perhaps unintentionally, but they fit.

The combat! I approached it cautiously because, while I do enjoy turn-based combat, I did not actually like what I saw of it in WotR, because it seemed a bit too wobbly to me, as if the camera was swimming all over the place whenever I tried moving the party, and that made me nauseous (I never finished the fallout-bunker-type side quest due to this). To my surprise, I ended up enjoying it very much from day one, even with my immensely stupid decision to experience the game on hard difficulty during my first run of the game. I am not going to say that it was an easy task, but it was fairly manageable, and I also think that it actually helped quite a bit with making the story feel more fittingly uninviting and grim, given the amount of obstacles the characters had to overcome. Thus far, I have three full runs in total: my main run, which I did twice now, and a kind-of-sort of gimmick run with three officers in the party (plus three other characters to bash enemy heads in), though playing an officer and controlling a party member that happens to be an officer feels different to me, and I have to admit that I did not actually enjoy having the main character be one.

For my unfair run I decided to take my first character, partly because she is the one I consider to be my main, and I wanted get a more polished version of her journey, partly because I read a brilliant comment of someone saying that the warrior class is shit in this game, and my character is indeed a warrior. Well, a warrior/psyker/assassin, with the psyker disciplines being telepathy and biomancy (some people shit on telepathy, too, but it is my favourite due to offering quite a few ways to debuff and damage enemies). Still, I became curious whether she is fit to handle the unfair difficulty. And she is! My strategies may not be the best, and my builds do not allow for instantaneously killing the big bosses (oneshoting a creature with over 20000 hp? In your dreams, maybe), but they do get me through the entire game without me ever needing to lower the difficulty. And at the end of the day, so long as there is more of the enemy on the floor than there is of my guy and their party, that is the only thing that matters. Here are some of her greatest hits.

Considering that she is a bit of a hybrid build, and thus has to juggle between more ability scores than a pure warrior class, I think the results she can show are pretty good. These are all from the last zone, of course, but she is indeed able to hold her own in a fight and dish out substantial damage, both mental and physical, throughout the entirety of the game.

Overall, I was expecting the unfair difficulty to make me feel like the tussles with the wild hunt in Kingmaker did – as if I am about to experience explosive diarrhoea and vomit at the same time. And while there were numerous times when I felt like a single enemy attack could dismantle my entire party (fortunately, that tension is all part of the fun for me), ultimately as the companions levelled up their archetype abilities, and the number of available actions and manoeuvrers grew bigger, most of the fights stopped presenting a challenge in a way where it felt that the deck is truly stacked against them. I often felt like going into the difficulty settings just to check whether it is still set to unfair. Still, while I do not think Owlcat has plans for such a dlc just yet, I would actually enjoy going through a purely combat-focused one, perhaps with a planetary multi-level dungeon with an extravagant amount of dudes to have mega tussles with. More challenges, please!

But I will also admit that I do not yet understand how to build some of the party members to make them valuable in combat. Idira should be extremely powerful, in theory. And she is, but she is also doing way too much damage to the party and often gets taken out of commission during the first round, and look – now the party has to fight a shit demon on top of these other twenty guys. I am missing something crucial here, a way to prevent that from happening, a way to reduce the perils of the warp phenomena from occurring. Could it be the difference between a sanctioned and unsanctioned psyker? Mine is able to spam both damaging abilities and buff the party when the purple warp bar is at full capacity, and yet no demons will be summoned, what the hell?! Heinrix is another character that I do not know how to build properly just yet in a way that would make him strong on the lower levels. Passing out during his own quest? Pathetic!

I know it is my own fault for failing to build him properly, but come on dude, work with me a little!

I have not yet grown fond of the space battle mini-game within the game. I can see them being thematically necessary an largely unavoidable when taking the setting into account, and yet I appreciate them only slightly more than the puzzles in their previous games. I think I would have liked them more if the battles were presented in storybook format (with skill and equipment checks and so on) in order to make them feel less like padding in the game. Oh look, the green field is now positioned in a way that forces the ship to fly in the opposite direction of its enemies! And now the damaged enemy ship is attempting an escape, and now our guns cannot even reach them, and now they are successfully leaving the battlefield. And I have to reload the entire thing and try to shoot them down immediately because I cannot accept anyone making a successful escape. I understand that one enemy ship escaping still counts towards our party’s victory, but I need to see everyone in pieces.

Well, I am probably forgetting about a number of smaller details I would have liked to talk about, but the main thing is that I loved the game. Top 3, definitely! I will not deny that there are quite a few blemishes that hold it back, and there is still a lingering feeling that it game could have been even bigger and more complex, if only the development time was longer. Hopefully, that potential will be tapped in a sequel, if Owlcat ever decides to make one. And I hope that they will stay true to themselves when they do so.

#rogue trader #just taking a couple of notes for my future self to read #i wish i had notes on my pathfinder playthroughs #but only memories remain #well not this time #anyway onto my fourth playthrough i go #maybe then i will find #a place in my heart and a space in my mind for the space combat sections

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

Show and tell time cuz I got some new rocks with my rock tumbler and I am excite!!!!!!!!

Gonna start with the easiest to identify for me cuz I've had 2 giant raw pieces of it for years now: rose quartz!! Its about half the size of the smaller piece I already had. Which seems wild cuz its still bigger than all the tumbled pieces I have. Obviously its gonna shrink in the tumbler but I think it'll still be my biggest piece of tumbled rose quartz.

Next we have sodalite!! Another one thats easy for me to identify. I only have raw sodalite and only recently encountered polished sodalite in a crystal shop so im pretty familiar with how it looks raw. These are definitely the biggest pieces I have. The others all came in one of those "sift for gemstones" things at silver dollar city.

Unakite!!!! This is my first piece of unakite. Ive only seen the raw stuff in youtube videos but its relatively identifiable by its colors

Raw tigers eye!!! Another thing I've only seen in pictures tho i do have a tumbled piece

Fluorite! Another one im fairly familiar with. Another rock that i have a fair amount of but none this big.

Some yellow calcite. I believe I have some small pieces of this but id need to check my box.

This is where things start to get dicey. In the picture it looks more orange but in person its more pinkish salmon-y color. I THINK its feldspar. But it could also be orange calcite. I need to test the hardness to be sure. Feldspar is 6-6.5 on the mohs scale while calcite is a three. If id thought about it when I was taking pictures I wouldve held my phones flashlight up to it to check its transparency (feldspar is opaque while calcite is translucent) but now theyre a few feet away and I have a cat laying on me so that'll have to wait lol. Also, fun fact, feldspar has been found on Mars!

I THINK this might be a really rough piece of amethyst. COULD also be purple fluorite. Hard to tell in this lighting (and dry) but in the bathroom light when it was wet its very purple. The more I think about it its probably fluorite tho

I am almost positive this is garnet. I have a few raw pieces of garnet but theyre pretty small. But it definitely looks like the pieces I already have.

(End of part 1 cuz im on mobile and ran out of picture space)

[angelkitty54]

So, I was rewatching some God of War 4 playthroughs and was suddenly hit with another rottmnt AU idea (coz I've got turtle brain right now I guess). Also inspired by all the different Separated AU art 'n' stuff floating around. So yeah, this be a separated au.

Right so! Splinter manages to escape Draxum's lab with all 4 turtles, but a couple of years later, when the boys are still toddlers, he is found and attacked (probably by the Foot? Maybe also by Big Mamas people? IDK yet) and during all the chaos the boys are lost/stolen. The only one he was able to save is Leo.

Raph somehow ends up underground, stumbling into the Hidden City where he wanders the streets homeless for a time before being found by Big Mama. Savage Raph be fighting in the Battle Nexus.

Mikey is taken by the Foot and raised to be an assassin (maybe trained under Tiger Claw?) joining their quest to resurrect the Shredder.

Donnie is swept away down a storm drain and believed to have drowned. But somehow or another (haven't fully figured it out yet) ends up as part of the Purple Dragons gang. Except they're a proper gang here and not just a small group of delinquent teens.

Thing is, during those first few years together, Splinter encountered and eventually befriended a young woman by the name of Tang Shen. Having recently lost her own baby girl, she found comfort in helping Splinter with his own children. Tho she did not know what they really were for a long time, as he kept his distance and she turned a blind eye to anything strange (New York, what a town, amiright?). Eventually she did find out tho, but by then they had gotten to be close friends despite everything.

After the attack, a badly injured Splinter went to Tang Shen for help. Realising they were still being hunted, Splinter decided to leave in order to protect his one remaining son, but Tang Shen insisted on staying with them. The three ultimately end up leaving the city altogether and moving out to a property on in the country. Which is how Leo comes to grow up in a relatively isolated cabin in the woods.

At first Splinter made many trips back to search for his lost sons, but as time passed without any sign of them, he eventually gave up hope. Focusing instead on keeping his one remaining son safe. Tang Shen however always maintained the hope that they would all be reunited one day.

Despite everything they had lost, the three did live happily together for many years. Until Leo was about 10-11 years old and Tang Shen fell sick and never recovered. Losing her was a heavy blow for father and son. Things taking a turn for the worst when their enemies finally track them down shortly thereafter. This be the part where I picture Splinter fighting off the foot soldiers all Dad of War style like: "LEAVE. MY. HOME!!!"

With their home no longer safe they are forced to gather up what they can and leave. This is when Leo discovers one last gift for him among Tang Shen's belongings. Matching scarves for him and brothers, each with their names embroidered on them, and a journal. Turns out Tang Shen had been investigating the other's whereabouts of her own, and tho she had no definitive proof, she had found some leads. The journal had all her findings as well as a message for Leo that inspires him to try and find his long lost brothers and reunite his broken family.

Convincing Splinter that the city would be the best place to hide the pair finally return to New York, making their new home hidden away in the sewers. Knowing his overprotective father would freak if he knew what he was doing, Leo begins his own investigations in secret, picking up where Tang Shen left off. During his search he encounters and befriends April who joins him on his quest. And 2 years or so later, the pair accidentally stumble across what they'll soon come to find is their biggest lead yet: a strange blue and yellow dog thingy...

#rottmnt #rottmnt au #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #separated au #tang shen #anatawa hitori ja nai

[audreyhalessaviour]

A little while ago me and somebody else where chatting about when my obsession will end. Well I took a shower not long after and even if I gave spur of the moment answers to him at that time the simple answer is probably won't end until I get closure because I have always worked in this way. It's so hard for me because I have always struggled with this in my life. For a story... a person... no an event with a person involved like this is hell on me. With the controversy surrounding the manifesto and things like this I fear that it will never happen... and my biggest fear is that I could get everything and still feel unsatisfied. I research pictures and create art because it gives me some small semblance of that satisfaction. I feel as if my blog has gone off the rails because it's supposed to be a way for me to document Audrey and myself. I need to make more art and the like but I am a shitty researcher. I did find many original versions of pictures and videos on AHMs blog. Which where relatively easy because I had seen them before. Some things I can't find like the audio of the dance video, however I did find the unedited version as well as that rare poster. I have been searching for things in a similar vein to that with no luck. I am just treading explored ground even if I went in a slightly different direction to find that advert. I wish to make infographics but I do not have the confidence to do so as the concept of spreading misinformation scares me. Today I saw a post on a 4chan thread that said she was raped and impregnated by a janitor at Covenant. Even though I knew it was bullshit deep down I still cried at the prospect of this happening. I desire to be a police officer or politician now as I could make a difference in that regard but I know that would be a ways off if I took up these jobs. Thinking about these things when I was in the shower made it click to me that perhaps this is the closure I need. I have always needed a calling in life and I will admit after creating this blog I have felt better and have improved myself a bit. I feel as if the cop job isn't a fantasy just a really hard to achieve reality at this point. I wish to be like the heroes who put Audrey out of her misery or leaked the manifesto pages. Saying all this makes me feel very good and hopeful but you know what scares me? The concept achieving these goals would not bring me closure. I feel as if I need to do 3 or 4 things to bring an end to this situation. 1. I need to find out why she did it 2. get a satisfactory look to who she really was. Given her extreme sides to her personality it will be very difficult. But I think if everything was released then it would be much easier. I wish I could tell that to the courts to argue why they need to be released. 3. I need to bring myself to closure. I think I have hybristophilia. I'm not 100% sure as I often hate her and get angry at her but I read a medical paper that explained what I am going through almost exactly. From what I can understand men like me are a rare breed and have never been documented greatly. That being said I have found a few men just like be here that I have befriended so maybe we are just hidden. In any case I desire to be documented and in exchange get free therapy. 4. I need to accomplish something big. Maybe creating a documentary or saving a copycat or even helping the cops get to the bottom of this. Or like I said take up those professions. If anyone has any advice beyond the usual trolls telling me to off myself please give it to me, I'd really appreciate it.

#audrey hale #grief #mental health #hybristophilia