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anundyingfidelity · 2 days

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WHEN I WAKE UP, WHERE DO YOU GO? — Soldier Boy/Ben

Summary: When Soldier Boy was taken away and Vought faked his death, he dreamt of you non-stop while with the reds. Now, decades later and back in the modern world, he just has one thing in mind: finding you.

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x female reader.

Word count: 1.6k.

Warnings: heavy angst, language, some nudity, sexual implied content, pregnancy, the usual stuff in the boys universe, death, AU where Soldier Boy was never with Crimson Countess.

If you'd like to be added, the taglist is here!

☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !

Notes: this was a request for my 400 followers drabbles but i got more things in mind to develop an angsty one shot with a sad ending, so this is what happened. also thanks for being patient with me as i try to come back to tumblr and write. real life is not easy.

GEN MASTERLIST!

1981

He didn’t know where he was standing. He didn’t know the place around him, nor the people having a sweet ball, with the music playing and mingling with their laughs.

He could see the beautiful ladies swinging to the classic music in the gala, the supes he used to know in the back of the scene as if they weren’t an important part of it. Dressed in that green suit, mask off, he walked between the couples and the guests dancing. His eyes caught a stunning wine colored dress in the middle of the pale colors around. He knew it was you.

It was the first time in years he heard his heart pounding against his chest this fast, as he approached you. His hand brushing your bare shoulder made you turn around, a bright smile adorned your face appeared when you saw it was him. You quickly focused your attention completely to him, leaving the ladies you were speaking to behind.

“Ben! What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming!” you almost shouted to him as you dragged him with you to the less-crowded bar.

He furrowed his brows in confusion. “I wasn’t?”

You shook your head with a hint of embarrassment and placed your drink on the countertop.. “Edgar said you wouldn’t, so… I just thought you weren’t,” you said with a soft voice. “But nevermind that, I’m glad you’re here, I’ve missed you,” you beamed, this time your voice sounding happier.

Ben nodded, taking in the sight of your figure and your pretty face, delicately made up, expensive and graceful just for a night like this. Somehow, seeing you felt like ages. “You look perfect,” he whispered.

Under his gaze, he knew your cheeks were burning. He started fighting the urge of caressing your cheek but now, in front of all these people, it was better not to.

He always had this need of protecting you from the outside, from the world. Being the supe he was, he knew how fucked up everything around was. You didn’t deserve to see that. But countless times, Ben remembered your courage and the way you used to raise your voice to be heard. And still knowing you could take care of yourself, he felt the need of looking after you, of being your shelter. Despite everything, he wouldn’t forgive himself if anything bad happened to you.

“Thank you,” you smiled. “You look good too, but I bet you’d look better with a different type of suit,” you gave him a flirty wink.

He was all in that playful mood of yours.

“Probably later, if we leave,” Ben teased back, the distance between both of you getting shorter. He could smell the sweetness of your perfume and the taste of alcohol. “Whatcha say, sweetheart?”

“I’d say yes. Always would say yes.”

1983

Ben woke up again, in a place that was oddly familiar in the back of his mind. It was a big bedroom, he was laying on the bed, and immediately noticed the blanket covering his bare body. The sunlight sneaking in the curtains told him it was morning already. There was a heat coming from the other side and he rolled softly to see you, sleeping and tugging his arm against you.

“Good morning,” you mumbled, fluttering your eyes open. You leaned to place a kiss on his stubbled cheek, the blanket falling off a little from your breasts. “How you feeling today, my husband?”

“Husband?”

You chuckled at his confused face. “I told you I’d say yes, didn’t I?”

Ben snorted to himself. He didn’t even remember proposing to you, but it was better than he’d ever imagined. Looking back at you, he asked with a quizzical expression on his face. “Am I dreaming?”

You laughed louder this time. “No, Ben. We got married yesterday. Thought you couldn’t get drunk and all, is there anything wrong?”

He felt your hand caressing his cheek softly, as you placed your head on his shoulder and laid back down. And he felt not only the warm touch of your skin, but a coldness coming from a ring on your hand. He wrapped his own on your wrist to get a glance of the bright, gold ring adorning your finger. It was true.

You were his wife, and he couldn’t believe it.

1984

“Please don’t go.”

Your voice came out as a plea, and he, somehow, felt something was wrong. Looking around, Ben found himself in a cozy kitchen inside a house, and you were standing in front of him. He looked for the ring in your hand, and there it was. What the hell was happening to him? Why was he suddenly reminiscing every moment with you? And why this?

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Ben, I’m pregnant,” you confessed with glossy eyes. His face softened and he shook his head, part of him wanting it to be a lie. He wasn’t ready to be a father yet. “Please don’t go to Nicaragua. You promised you’d give this up, why hasn't it happened? It’s been a year!”

You were already crying, the tears coating your cheeks and he stepped closer to cup your cheeks between his hands, making you look at him directly.

“I really have to go,” he muttered as he wiped the tears off your skin.

Ben pulled you for a hug, as you cried against his chest and he soothed you softly, a side he never knew could have for anyone but you. He hated seeing you like this, but he knew he had to go. He was Soldier Boy, he’d come back soon, for you and the baby.

“I just want you to be safe and happy,” you mumbled, once you pulled away and wiped your face with your hands.. “You always wanted this, a family. And I want to give it to you because I love you… I wouldn’t want it any other way, Ben.”

“I love you so damn much,” he said, with a beam on his face and a spark in his eyes, caressing your cheek with his thumb. “How long?” he asked.

“Like four months…”

Ben smiled again, remembering the weird foods you were having, how you’d get sick all out of nowhere and the countless nights and days he took care of you, even if you got pissed at him because it all felt like you were useless. But he didn’t care about all that. How he couldn’t notice it and pull the strings together, he thought to himself.

Suddenly he kissed you sweetly, but so strong at the same time that you gasped against his mouth. “You’re the most amazing thing that ever happened to me, y’know that.”

His words made you smile against his lips, still trying to compose yourself. You nodded as you reached for his hand, entwining it with yours.

“I hope it’s a boy,” he said, before planting another kiss on your lips.

2022

When Ben came back to the real world, he thought of finding you. Butcher had facilitated your location in exchange for a deal, but a grave wasn’t the place he had in mind when doing so.

He already lost count of how many times he had arrived to grief and hate himself for leaving you and the baby that day when you begged him not to. It was late noon, almost dusk, and probably he shouldn’t be there, saying sorry to the air and the tree in your grave. There was an emptiness growing in his chest, like a black hole swallowing every single particle of life he had been preserving for you, once he came back.

Ben spent the last four decades dreaming of you, remembering every moment, either be happy or sad, the only thing that mattered was you. Whole you, with your beauty, your laugh, the kindness in your eyes every time you looked at him, and the courage in your heart. If only he could go back and change everything, he’d do it with no question.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled again. “I’m sorry I wasn’t with you when you asked me to.”

He read the plaque with your name written on it and a small ‘beloved daughter and wife’ below, and his fists clenched tightly. More than ever, he wanted to burn Vought down to the ground. He had cried to himself, all alone, when he learned you were gone and to regret his decisions. It wasn’t enough for those fuckers to take his child and raise him in a damn lab to be a monster, but they had to kill you.

Ben remembered the things this Hughie kid had told him; about you trying to look for your husband for months non-stop after he went missing and the fake story of his death was released to the world. You spent day and night doing research, getting involved with different organizations even when your son was born, and when Vought sensed you were moving masses, they decided to get rid of you and take his son away. Ben was sure you knew pretty well the dirty secrets, and taking threats out of the radar was their specialty.

Now he had to take Homelander down. The only bond that joined you and him resulted to be a stupid, crying asshole, all because of the whim of some rich men running a pharmaceutical. Supes were a lie, but he was a soldier. And he had promised himself to avenge you, whatever the cost was.

“I love you,” Ben whispered to the wind. “I hope you understand why I’m doing this.”

“I'm pretty sure she’d be okay with it,” Butcher said, standing a couple of feet back.

Ben had been used to the british fucker to appear out of nowhere. Butcher was the one taking him to the cemetery after all.

“Yeah, I hope so,” Ben said back. The sadness and grief fell off his face as he turned around to meet Butcher. “Let’s go then, I want to take them fucking down.”

Soldier Boy taglist: @delaynew @k-slla @thesilmarillionblog @onlyangel-444 @mrsjenniferwinchester @daisy-the-quake

#soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x you #soldier boy imagine #soldier boy x y/n #soldier boy/ben #soldier boy angst #soldier boy fanfiction #soldier boy imagines #the boys soldier boy #jensen ackles

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spaceorphan18 · 2 days

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X-Men 97 Episode 9 Thoughts

Ooff, I have some very complicated feelings about all of this. But unsurprisingly I have a lot to say about Rogue...

When I read that Beau DeMayo's favorite comic book was X-Men #25 I figured two things were going to happen -- that they'd get Magneto to pull out Wolverine's adamantium and that Rogue would play the Colossus role of going with Magneto.

And, the more I think about it -- this entire season was crafted to get to that moment - the moment of Magneto pulling out Wolverine's adamantium. It just feels like everything was written around one dude's past traumas. And I mean, while I'm not happy with the guy - I do get how you end up doing that with fiction.

Shame that X-Men #24 wasn't his favorite. We'd be having a whole different discussion...

I understand how we got here. I understand Rogue's grief and her in story decision making (mostly). I understand what the writers were going for. But, my god, it just sucks. It sucks that they did this to her. It sucks that this show needs to compress so much into so little time that there's no real time to let the show breathe and form organically. It sucks that they've isolated her as a character so that the grief would consume her so that we'd get to this point.

Rogue dreaming about feeling Remy and waking up only for Nightcrawler to tell her it isn't real broke me. Rogue in that trench coat broke me. Rogue deciding to go with Magneto so she could play the Colossus role -- and the fact that Remy died so she could get there - makes me angry.

It's not about love triangle shenanigans, I'm glad that that's really not a part of it. But they did the whole triangle for her to have it make /more/ sense that she'd do it. Because sans that, she wouldn't have. It was written purposely so she'd be in a mental state where it narratively does make (some) sense that she'd go with Magneto.

And I just... thanks, I hate it.

But also, I don't know where we go from here? The X-Men beat Bastion in the finale. Yay? At what cost? They've clearly set up Onslaught, which, yeah, okay, let's do that mess. But character wise... where do we go from here? What do you do with Rogue's character now?

I mean, there are some answers. I don't really love any of them for her.

X-Men, despite all the darkness, always was about hope. And I'm wondering where the hope in this series is. Because despite grand standing speeches from Xavier, I don't see it. If the finale can't give us any of that, then I don't see a reason to go on watching. Which really does break my heart :(

*sigh*

Some other things:

I do kind of love Rogue's non-reaction to the fact that Magneto is alive. it's just so glossed over. Due to the time compression, the writing of this show, while it has moments, isn't as even as people make it out to be.

I do kind of wonder if we'll get a scene with Rogue standing at Remy's grave, only for him to not be in it.

I'm glad Storm is back, she's the only character (along with Nightcrawler) that I really care about in this mess. (Obvs beyond Rogue)

I'm sad Storm didn't have any reaction to Remy's death though.

I did like the little Storm and Jean moment - such a good friendship, so sad that we only saw two minutes of it the entire season.

I feel like this show misses the mark on women... were there any in the writer's room??

...did they really just kill off Jean again? *sigh* (There's no body though...)

The blue and gold teams thing made me laugh for some reason. Oh, they're just pushing so hard to make things happen only for it to feel hollow.

Idk, I just feel meh about everything else, tbh.

#x men 97 spoilers #x men 97 #xmen #rogue #anna marie lebeau #marvel meta #i have more detailed thoughts that maybe i'll write about when I get home #for now - life must go on

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misc-obeyme · 2 days

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I read your Solomon fourth wall breaking au and omg I loved it :3 it got me thinking tho- imagine coming home from a work/school after a long day and you just see Barbatos in your kitchen cooking for u, or like just cleaning if you’re like me and aren’t the most organized

Also, how are u? Doing ok?

- <3

Oh, thank you, anon, I'm glad you liked it! I thought it was an interesting prompt, personally. I just feel like Solomon can do anything with magic, right?

And oh, you have happened upon one of my favorite daydreams. I don't generally think of myself as going to the Devildom and I only really think of the characters being in my life in an abstract kind of way. It's usually more about how they'd react to human world things.

But in the case of Barbatos, he's just got such a domestic side I can't help but think about what it'd be like to have him as a little house husband, you know? So it's fun to daydream about that.

Of course, I'd be in shock if I unexpectedly found Barb in my house. I work from home, so I'd basically be walking out of my office and into the kitchen. If he was in there cooking I'd lose my shit. I'd probably be like how the hell did an intruder get in my house!? I have an alarm system!! What window did you get in through???

He'd just laugh like don't be silly MC, he obviously used a portal. Now sit down because dinner's almost ready.

After the initial shock, though, it'd basically be a daydream in real life! Just imagine him taking care of you all evening after you've had a long day. Maybe he showed up because he knew you were having a particularly difficult one. He just knew you needed him.

Ah, yes, I am doing okay, thanks for asking, anon! I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety lately, but I also seem to be out of my writing slump! So generally speaking, I'm doing all right! Every day has it's ups and downs, but that's kinda just how life is, you know?

Also is <3 an anon signature?? If so let me know and I'll add it to the list!

#ahh now I'm going to thinking about Barb showing up irl #I am not complaining 💕💕#obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me barbatos #anon asks #misc answers

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mochinomnoms · 3 days

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OMGGGGG!!!! MOCHI I LOVE UR WRITING AND THE PTM JADE BRAINROT IS SOO REAL :,,)

I was wondering if u have any more hcs for what jade n yuus first time together would be like or what kinda stuff jade would say, or do or anything I DONT CARE JUST ANYYTHING 😩😩😩 he’s perfect and I love the way u write him <3333

THANK YOU MY LOVE IM GLAD YOU ENJOY IT AND YES BRAINROT BRAINROT BRAINROT!

I think I had some a while ago, but I'm still anticipating it to be a part of one of PTM's later chapters (most likely chp 13 at this time) so I don't wanna give out too many details…BUT you can fully expect it to be very soft, sweet, and passionate! It's almost to the point that Jade and Yuu lose themselves in it, as that's the consequence of internalizing your feelings for so long only to suddenly have them boil over.

It's also important to mention…telepaths are usually strong empaths as well, and well how else is Yuu supposed to react when all their feelings are being returned and melding into their mind and soul twice as powerful? It's overwhelming, overstimulating, and yet so very beautiful.

#mochi asks #jade leech #twst #twisted wonderland #jade leech x reader #ptm #i will mention that crying will be involved #one way or another

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deep-spacediver577 · 11 months

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Saw Elemental today... And I Loved it! 🩵💧🔥🧡

#DSD577 #It was refreshing for me!#and worth waiting for #I've known about it's existence for awhile now...#and was so glad how real it's writing was #those are just my opinions #so DON'T rely on it #⭐⭐⭐⭐#movie

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batfossil-fr · 6 days

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I’ve been really thinking of reopening my art shop soon… I’ve been taking some practice doodles (hence all the posting lately) while I shake off my rust and I’m finding things I enjoy working on again. I miss trying my hand at more dragons/OCs and colors. my shop’s so broken rn lmao but that’s a problem for a later date it’s just nice getting back into art

#my mental health is starting to improve a bit #took a couple years but I found some meds that finally work better for me #ofc things aren’t 100% but I was really in a pit for a while #like ‘did not leave my house in months and slept 14 hours a day’ kind of pit #so. any improvement is better lol. but nah I’ve been making real improvement and im doing better. a lil shaky sometimes but that’s expected #diagnosed with chronic fatigue too. which is unfortunate but not unexpected. i am indeed god’s sleepiest soldier #i feel like a raisin slowly rehydrating but considering i was in a desert before any hydration is welcome #just learning how to enjoy things again overall #one thing I just couldn’t get myself to do (and enjoy) was art. doodles here and there but nothing to post #and it’s kind of funny because I feel like that downtime actually gave me a chance to think about what I wanted to work on #even when I wasn’t actively practicing #just paying attention to things I guess. enjoying art styles #i genuinely think my experimenting with stained is helping me learn colors #i spend hours in the scryshop im glad it’s paying off lmao #i want to tackle bigger things but i just gotta ease myself into the hang of things again #for now im having fun and that’s coooool. thank you all for your nice comments #i read all tags while kicking my feet and giggling. thank u all #that’s the update on Me tho. more to come hopefully #starting next month/julyish I will have a significant amount of time to dedicate to drawing which i intend on doing #so who knooowwwsss #rambles #funny enough coloring has become my favorite part of the process now. it used to be lineart. now lineart annoys me LOL #i also feel like i kinda lost my ability to write which has been frustrating but im focusing on art first #anyways that’s a whole different tangent rant over

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b4kuch1n · 1 year

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I actually for real feel like my phone's scanning quality has dropped monumentally while I was away on thing so that's a fun thing to figure out now. anyways

#sk8 the infinity #kyan reki #hasegawa langa #renga #answering of ''sure'' whenever they ask ''are you gay'' strikes again #gods. genuinely at least on the export the quality of these dropped like to half. whats up with that #sorry if these are impossible to parse #anyways. scribbled these during ''holiday'' ''vacation'' ''getaway'''#sometimes it really is the simple things. hallucinating vividly about the casual life of a pair of teens to survive being in a car for 6hrs #WITH da family #so glad I picked up scribbling on paper again. I actually got stuff to do digitally today and!! literally it feels so much cleaner #like I feel like I relearned a bunch stuff doing traditional ink again for a sec #but yeah. u guys should know by now how much I think about food as a concept #took 3m off last year to write about it in fact. but now Im just microdosing by drawing langa #I'm also actually so insane about reki being a scaredy cat it's so. something. it means so much to me #this of course means koyomi is a jumpscare champion. among siblings that are close in age there must be #the one who sleeps in the lower bunk. and the one who ties a doll to a string by its neck and lower it down to be next to the others face #'why is that so specific' no further question. thank you #gods okay. I need to lay the fuck down it is now my time. to be in bed #Im onto some real exciting stuff rn! and when this piece is done I'll return to ink for a sec #so uh. ink comm maybe not this week. but the next #happy late labor day! seek and destroy. have a good night

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lunarharp · 6 months

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qifrey's birthday and silly stuff

#witch hat tag #orufrey #excerpt is from my 30k failing eye fic (link in pinned) which has a birthday scene. i revisited and edited it again and it is now 30k :)#kerplunk thing is because of a mysterious game that shirahama has drawn orufrey playing before and to me it looks like Kerplunk.#a kids' game from this 'Real World' which we live in. card game is Cheat from neopets. but it's a real game. i want to play it for real....#you lie and cheat in it..hence the name..and 'branston the eyrie you are a bold one' classic neopets tumblr post...no....ok then.....#'hey qif i know we're obsessed with witches' kerplunk but we used to play cheat all the time what happened to that??'#'oh. i just..don't like lying to you. i don't like how it feels.' 'oh haha i guess that's a good thing. ok let's play kerplunk instead ^_^'#'mm. *dying inside crying in the rain in my soul*'#i dislike trying to illustrate my writing. i resent myself for having described oru's captivating mysterious smile so perfectly #i can't draw that. i know what it looks like perfectly in my mind and i am right there on that roof but i can't draw it satisfyingly enough #writing comes from a different part of my brain. there's different things in there. i'm glad i wrote out some of what i can't draw.#then there are things that i don't write or draw but which are still a crucial ongoing facet of my orufrey mindscape.#the Written orufrey the Drawn orufrey and the Unspoken orufrey... three faces of a beautiful irreplaceable jewel in my heart...#could a depressed person do THAT.

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milf-harrington · 1 year

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really short and silly munson family piece, inspired by something that happened to me literally an hour ago

cw: spiders

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Eddie reared back with a yelp of alarm. "Oh my god- nope. Wayne!"

Abandoning the washing basket, and whatever organs had just fallen out of his ass, Eddie stomped around the side of the trailer, checking fruitlessly over his shoulder like he was being followed.

The porch lights were warm, orange and familiar, and they helped him to breathe easier now that he wasn't alone in the dark, face to face with a demon.

"What're you shriekin' about?" Wayne was settled on the front steps, smoke curling from a lit cigarette.

"There is a big fucking spider and I almost walked directly- ah!" Eddie flinched when something brushed his jaw, slapping aggressively at his neck and face until he realised it was just his hair. He sighed, relieved. "I almost walked right into it."

Wayne eyed him, exhaling smoke through his nose before nodding towards the corner Eddie had just come from. "You need me to kill it?"

He opened his mouth, prepared with an emphatic yes please, but paused. It's not like it had gone out of it's way to attack him, Eddie had just had the misfortune of almost walking directly through it - would have if he hadn't turned the torch on when he had.

"Well, it's kind of just minding it's own business."

"So I don't need t'kill it?"

Eddie glanced over his shoulder, wrinkling his nose at the inky shadows. His skin was still crawling, every unexpected brush belonging to a phantom arachnid. But a quiet sort of guilt pooled in the back of his throat, bittersweet and cold, at the idea of killing it just because he was scared. He shook his head, scratching his arm. "No."

He shuffled on the spot, hoping if he looked pathetic enough his uncle would take pity on him.

"Weren't you doing something?"

"Can't you finish hanging it out? I'm still recovering from seeing my life flash before my eyes."

"They're your sheets, Ed. I just washed 'em."

"But Wayne." He whined, entirely unrepentant about the childish nature of his behavior.

Wayne Munson remained unmoved, however, and Eddie was forced to brave the washing line all over again. God, he missed the time of about 10 minutes ago when he hadn't been aware of the hell spawn watching him mutter about pegs.

#i know steve is the one canonically scared of spiders while eddie literally has a tattoo of one on his chest #BUT i figured eddie suited my dramatics more #the actual real life event was a 20 minute ordeal in which i attempted to convince mum to let me abandon the task she'd given me #while being increasingly dramatic about how close i'd come to death until she hit me with 'what you want me to do it?'#thus reminding me she has literal arachnaphobia so. no i didn't want her doing it. so i threw her husband under the bus #and she just made me go out there anyway #i'm so glad we have two washing lines even though i had to cram everything onto it bc it meant i didnt have to be near the spider #which was literally the size of a 50 cent coin #and i almost walked straight into it - i turned my torch on and immediately screamed that's how close i was it was TERRIFYING #eddie munson #wayne munson #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson fanfiction #my writing #also yes i was hanging out the washing at night

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