#anxiety of influence

[sherbertilluminated]

Anxiety of influence more like anxiety of wait. Who is that.

Mr. Writer sir I don't know who it is that made you write like that but I can sense him in the text. You knew and cared who he was but I don't know him. I only know you. And he's here through you but he's a stranger to me.

Good for him that he let you be changed into art. You won. Are you happy?

#comparative literature class give me more wrong models of writerly psychology #i'll be normal about them i promise #anxiety of influence #harold bloom #<-guy who i hope i don't have to read more of #literature #comparative literature #and because he's always there: #herr moses in berlin

[fotibrit]

Peter can hear heartbeats, including other people’s. He’s gotten used to it in the years since the bite, and it has made him much more empathetic. He can hear other people’s hearts race if they make a mistake in class, he can sense the anxiety of someone meeting him for the first time, he feels the fear of others because of his abilities.

It’s also the reason he realized Mister Stark has a far bigger anxiety problem than he lets on. Starks heart races at the slightest scare, the mention of certain events or people. Peter has gotten into the habit of avoiding certain topics to avoid inflicting that fear on Stark, even if Stark doesn’t let on his fear in any other way.

Mister Starks anxiety spikes at the mention of Captain America, for as long as Peter has known him. For a while, Peter thought it was because of what happened with the Accords. Peter thought it was lasting anxiety from the team drama.

But it’s been years. Stark and Rogers have interacted positively since then, Stark has even referred to Rogers affectionately multiple times.

And yet, Stark’s heart races.

#is it anxiety or a crush #peter may never know #this is me soft launching the influence of my stony friends #shoutout liv for peer pressuring me into posting this #marvel mcu #avengers #tony stark #iron man #peter parker #spider man #irondad and spiderson #irondad #spiderson #peter parker and tony stark #captain america civil war #captain america #stony #not exactly but i’ll include it #fotibrit

[mercifullymad]

i feel passionately about the need to enfold people experiencing (or diagnosed) with "just" depression or anxiety into the mad pride project. the more people who view themselves as mad, the better. much as the rhetorical move from "neurotypical" to "neuroconforming" emphasizes the artifice & social construction of "neurotypicality," so too will expanding identification as "mad" expose the sane/mad dichotomy as a false one.

it's true that (some) people with "just" depression and/or anxiety have an easier time navigating the psych system than people who have more stigmatized diagnoses. but this is not to say that they necessarily have an easy time — the carceral psych system is hostile to everyone subsumed by it, even the most "privileged" patients. we should of course critique & examine how our experiences are shaped by various intersections of privilege, but we cannot forget or ignore how someone with "just" a depression/anxiety diagnosis can still experience the full force of the carceral psych system brought down upon them (including but not limited to involuntary institutionalization, police intervention, & forced medication or other forced treatment).

we must encourage, if not insist, that those with the least-stigmatized diagnoses view their difficult experiences navigating the psych system as bound up with the liberation of people who have more stigmatized diagnoses &, often, a more violent experience of the psych system. we need more people to drop the "i have anxiety/depression but i'm not crazy" line and say loudly, "i have anxiety/depression & i am crazy. my access to just treatment is linked to the conditions of all other crazy people, who are my allies, peers, & friends. we are united in our cause & we all deserve a more liberating system of care."

#mad pride #mad liberation #disability justice #the way that one IG influencer who called depression & anxiety “vanilla” diagnoses has lived rent-free in my mind for the past five years.. #i was soooo upset by that for like three years & now i'm like. okay. it is a little funny. #but also i do think that somewhere in the 'destigmatization'/commodification of anxiety/depression (treatment) #we have lost the plot & forgotten that 'just' these experiences on their own can still be deeply distressing & chronic & endangering #& can make people (be viewed as) just as 'crazy' as someone with a more stigmatized diagnosis #& for me personally my experiences of anxiety & depression have been far more disabling than anything else #sorry i keep editing this post to correct typos...story of my life

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

You're so right, Goredolf IS the most fuckable man in Chaldea. Everyone else runs the gamut of "can get it" to "should absolutely not get it" but Goredolf CAN GET IT.

Any poll about ideal partners, sexually or otherwise, that don’t end with goredolf in the top 4 are inherent bull bc off the top of my head we know this guys is

-capable of introspection and growth (rare in a game that likes to flanderize)

-cooks and cooks very well

-cares about the people around him especially those he’s close to

-both dad AND mom coded

-can literally reverse food spoilage

-had implied relations with two separate beasts and lived

- really good at driving

-has a host of varied skills: outdoorsy, well read, well traveled, polyglot, decent social abilites

-has actual sense of when things are dangerous and does try to keep others safe

-gof punch

-charlotte appeared to be trapped underwater in one scene this event and immediately when everyone else was like ‘uh oh’ he started working on trying to break the rock apart. Like the actual servants in the room did less than he did I’m just saying I would rather have him babysit my kids than literally any servant

#like even at the start he showed sorrow over the loss of his soldiers on a personal level (ie as people not his bodyguards) #and he was so easily influenced by koyan bc she told him a backstory where she was a victim as he felt empathy for her #(and yeah he was also in love) #like idk I just think he’s FUCKING COOL #and his anxiety is perfectly reasonable and normal for someone without superpowers #HE IS COOL AND UNDERRATED #like yeah most people agree he’s had a good characrer arc but. he should be appreciated more #and acknowledged as the best chocie of partner in chaldea bc he is #my asks

[burnhamandtilly]

finally scored another job interview after MONTHS of looking for it, so why am I hyperventilating just thinking about it????

#why is my brain like that??????? i hate it here #maybe I'm just really afraid of fucking this up 😭 #but it's definitely out of my hands.. they will either like my work or not. i can only do much to influence that. #but i still worry a lot 😭 #incurable anxiety disease lol #don't kind me I'm just venting out #anny.txt

[mothric]

waluigi as a symbol of ennui. the othered other, an inversion of a shadow. many such cases

#people have expressed this already but it is landing very weirdly in my brain today #i'm also actively staving off an anxiety attack rn so that's probably influencing my headspace a little bit #is this a joke or sincere? yes #sept 2023 #this is a waluigi appreciation blog

[juniepops]

Sincerely sometimes you have to just care about people as loudly as you can and it will be scary and it may feel wrong and there may be a little voice in the back of your head telling you you are being too much or annoying. And you have to do it anyway

#tell your friends how much you love them tell artists you follow what you like about their work #tell the people you live with thank you AND MEAN IT when they do chores and things. tell employees you appreciate their hard work #this is NOT about being nice to shitty people FWIW but when people are a positive influence on your life chances are you can be one on them #you have to do what you can to make SURE you are and if your anxiety tells you not to you have to do it anyway. the fear will pass

[supercantaloupe]

there was this trend in 2010s musicals (especially those popular with/aimed at teens) to have a character be haunted by the ghost of another deceased character, wherein that ghost walks around and talks and interacts with the protagonist as if they were a normal person but they are (relatively) explicitly Not Real within the larger diegesis and cannot be perceived by other characters or interact directly with the world themselves. think connor in dear evan hansen, heather chandler in (the latter two thirds of) heathers, gabe in next to normal. (by a stretch of the imagination i think you could consider the squip in be more chill as fulfilling a similar role).

anyway not to 2017 broadway fandomize a 200 year old opera, but that with the don and leporello. like obviously an abuser like the don would have a lasting impact on an abuse victim like leporello psychologically and socially for a long time (perhaps ever). but now i'm imagining the don literally following leporello around for years, possibly for the rest of his life, haunting him. both fully aware the don's dead and not real and can't control anything anymore of course but still present in leporello's life and mind, walking about and talking but audible and visible to no one else, inseparable and inescapable

#sasha speaks #like this is cringe i know but i can't get it out of my head now either. #(you get to decide i guess if this is in the context of the original setting or a modern au idec.) #whether those 2010s musicals did the concept justice in execution or not is a whole debate i'm not getting into now #(and suffice to say n2n did it best of course) #but i do think they were on to something with the concept of grief/anxiety represented by a walking talking person #even if that person is fictional even within the context of the story itself #i think that's an interesting dramatic device. and don giovanni as an opera is of course already so very much concerned with #the idea that the don isn't fully a person and never was or could be but still has this massive devastating influence on other people #anyway. i don't really want to maintag this but. for the sake of my own page's organizational tags i guess i have to #don giovanni

[idol-emu-otori-official-archived]

╰┈➤ SHUFFLE AU

DESTINATION POINT (DP)

the Leo/need adjacent unit, composed of Ichika Hoshino, Airi Momoi, Ena Shinonome, and Minori Hanasato. ☆ a girl who's lost her friendships, and three others searching for their worth.

about the group's name: ♡ originally, i had "from here to there" in mind, but someone from the Discord gave me the name "destination point" and i thought it was much better, so i went with that. ♪

about the SEKAI: ♡ the Train SEKAI. no one knows when it left, or where it's going - just that it never stops. it's the perfect place for those who feel like they're lagging behind. just close your eyes and let yourself be carried away, right? but maybe there's something you can do… starts with a Miku and a Rin. the former's hardworking and talented, but the latter struggles - Rin is somewhat influenced by Ena's (and, to a lesser extent, Airi's) jealousy towards others.

•

Ichika hasn't managed to rekindle her friendship with her friends, and she's not doing particularly well. At one point, she meets Airi - who just quit being an idol. The two start talking and become friends, at which point they end up forming a band together. Airi wants to try finding a place where she could finally be taken seriously.

Ena's invited by Airi, and Minori - who had failed auditions recently - ends up inspired by Ichika's kindness, Airi's drive and Ena's determination, which is how she joins. (Haruka completely gave up on being an idol; something Minori is saddened by.)

In my mind, Ichika plays the guitar; Airi, the drums; Minori, the keyboard and Ena, the bass.

-

IDEAL HEAVEN! (IH)

the MORE MORE JUMP! adjacent unit, composed of Mafuyu Asahina, Emu Otori, Mizuki Akiyama and Shizuku Hinomori. ☆ an up-and-coming idol group that combines cuteness and sophistication.

about the SEKAI: ♡ quite similar to the Empty SEKAI, but with some idol influences - a broken stage with no one in sight. there's no bright lights, no colorful props. nothing. that SEKAI both comforts and pains Mafuyu. home to a lone Miku. sweet, hopeful, but genuinely crushed by the pressure she's feeling.

•

Mafuyu's mother wants a perfect child. idols are very frequently represented as being perfect - so, she decides that her daughter should become one, too. Mafuyu's not keen on the idea, but that's her mother; she's obedient, so she goes along with it.

Shizuku still quit Cheerful * Days, but instead of stopping altogether she ends up with Mafuyu. Emu wants to make people smile, but no one ever came; Wonderlands × Showtime was never a thing. so she decides to become an idol instead, even if it means she'll never bring back the Wonder Stage to its former state.

Mizuki's half-dragged into IDEAL HEAVEN! by Emu, who saw them looking with interest at idol merch. after bringing them to meet Mafuyu and Shizuku, Mizuki ends up accepting - the idea of wearing cute clothes and being called cute doesn't seem too terrible.

-

READY MADE SUCCESS (RMS)

the Vivid BAD SQUAD adjacent unit, composed of Haruka Kiritani, An Shiraishi, Shiho Hinomori and Akito Shinonome. ☆ two street musicians chasing after their dream, and the two girls they brought with them.

about the SEKAI: ♡ the Street SEKAI. weirdly, it seems Haruka's idol background has somewhat influenced its appearance. its inhabitants are Miku, Meiko and Len. this Miku is levelheaded, but it seems like there's something holding her back from going all-in...

•

after quitting being an idol, Haruka is invited by An to join her.

An's never met Kohane, and she never found a partner. Haruka is hesitant for a moment before deciding to give it a shot, though she keeps struggling with singing. Shiho tries getting more experience, meets Akito. no one really knows how these two ended together, but they both have a similar drive and take music very seriously.

eventually, they all start working together. Haruka deals with her guilt and, while she doubts she'll become an idol again, she's mostly made peace with what happened.

-

STARLIGHT ☆ EVERMORE (S ☆ E)

the Wonderlands × Showtime adjacent unit, composed of Tsukasa Tenma, Saki Tenma, Kanade Yoisaki and Toya Aoyagi. ☆ a strange troupe of people who aim to help others through their performances.

about the SEKAI: ♡ still very much Tsukasa's, so it's the Wonderland SEKAI. [kanade goes there for the first time and dies. alas, they're still a shut-in and this place is simply too colorful for her poor eyes.] starts with a Miku and a Kaito, though this version of the former uses far less onomatopoeias.

Tsukasa figures he needs to show the world how much of a star he is himself, and he drags his siblings into it (with varying degrees of willingness).

a part of Saki still wishes she could be in a band with her friends; she's only somewhat managed to repair her friendship with Ichika. but she's still happy to do something fun and lighthearted after all her struggles. Toya's very excited to do something with Tsukasa and his siblings. he also gets to stick it to his dad, which, honestly - is a bonus.

out of the three, Kanade is obviously the most hesitant about the whole thing. but she sees Tsukasa's drive to make others happy, something she shares with him, so she ends up agreeing. Kanade is… slightly healthier physically on account of the stubborn people looking after her, as well as all the exercise she does she does as part of Starlight ☆ Evermore. mentally? eh… we'll get there. i need her traumatized to be interesting. <3

-

LONELY SYNDROME (LS)

the 25-ji, Nightcord de. adjacent unit, composed of Nene Kusanagi, Rui Kamishiro, Honami Mochizuki and Kohane Azusawa. ☆ hidden behind avatars, these citizens of the web tell stories online.

about the SEKAI: ♡ the arcade SEKAI. this Miku is shy and withdrawn, though she one day hopes she'll be able to break out of her shell, just like Nene. alongside her is Luka - she has a bit of a teasing attitude and a catlike personality, but she always does her best to boost Nene's confidence.

about the group's name: ♡ syndrome refers to a group of symptoms - i paired it with the word lonely because i felt like it represented the atmosphere of an arcade. you're connected with people who share your interests, but at the same time, you're sort of separate from them. surrounded by people, but utterly alone…

•

Nene's social anxiety hasn't gotten better over the years. since she never joins Wonderlands × Showtime, she doesn't learn how to fight her stage fright.

but, she finds an alternate solution; using an avatar online. it's less stress-inducing, and it lets her pursue acting, in a way - it's not what Nene wants, but it's close enough. she figures she could be satisfied with that. Rui ends up figuring out what she's doing, and asks if he can help. Nene doesn't really have any reason to say no, so they start working together.

as for Honami and Kohane, they ended up on Nene's channel by pure accident. but her performances quickly became a comfort to them, since they were struggling at the time (the former because she no longer had her friends, the latter because of her lack of confidence).

unfortunately, ignoring your problems only goes so far, and eventually, her feelings give birth to the arcade SEKAI.

#// ooc #shuffle au #didn't bother detailing every SEKAI - they're mostly staying the same #destination point is accidentally very similar to richie's unit 💔 #and ideal heaven! also. oh well. i didn't do it on purpose.......... #my favorite out of these five is lonely syndrome & starlight ☆ evermore :D #which is evident because a) i developed lonely syndrome's story the most and b) starlight ☆ evermore has all my favorite characters #pushing my tenma agenda <3 #lonely syndrome is like… dear to me because i struggle with very bad social anxiety and it's held me back so many times #so i relate to nene a bunch #i wish i could just - go out there and show people what i'm capable of doing. but i just freeze in place each time. it's easier to just… #give up. y'know? it hurts less. #and fun fact: lonely syndrome's luka is more or less based on rui? he's an important person in nene's life so you know - #i figured that it would influence one of the virtual singers. i love nene and rui's friendship ww #i put Kanade in the WxS-adjacent group because i wanted her to die <3 #also. the potential of others finding out that this pathetic wet cat? is in a theater troupe?? insane. i think it's hilarious. #ready made success is a name i settled with despite not being very satisfied of it - so changes might happen! #there's some angst potential in there. i put some for emu too :3c #anyway. enough rambling in tags. i feel bad 💔 #i'm insanen over them. if you have any questions - feel free to ask. teehee <3

[pinkytoothlesso11]

If Jim had been related to Douxie and a Wizard as well, how much of Canon do you think would change?

Ooohhh everyone already headcanons Jim and Douxie as brothers, but if they were biologically related AND Jim had magic??

That would change a LOT.

First of all, Douxie would automatically be in the know, since I'm assuming they know they're related once Jim started to develop his own magic probably way before Canon. That also means it's likely that Barbara knows too. And that Jim is aware of magical creatures, including trolls.

He'd be a lot more prepared for Trollhunting. But I think he would still keep it a secret initially from Barbara to not stress her out same as in Canon. This would also mean it's likely that Jim could adapt to Daylight fairly quickly and gain respect from Trollmarket by being a wizard. Even if it's only grudgingly given.

Bular would die far earlier on, and as Jim has done his own research on changelings, rather than just listen to the trolls opinion of them, he's more willing to hear them out and sympathase with them.

Basically, it would make Canon better and involve Douxie almost from the start. Honestly wish Douxie had gotten involved in Trollhunters, would have made the entire series better lol.

#I like Douxie and Jim as brothers okay? They're too cute #And Barbara gets to adopt a century old teenager with anxiety #There's too many fics with this sort of dynamic for me not to he influenced #Although I've never seen an AU with Jim having magic and being related to Douxie #So that's cool #And of course Douxie being involved because he can't not be if he and Jim are related #trollhunters #tales of arcadia #Jim Lake Jr #Douxie #Ask answers

[placeinthisworld]

bro idk how yall find coachella appealing in the slightest, it would be a sensory nightmare for me personally

#personal #seeing videos of people there actually give ME anxiety and i’m on the other coast #and apparently coachella was shit this year lol #barely selling tickets and needing influencers and blondie and meathead to promote it :/// sad

[bywandandsword]

I still find it hilarious that it was me, quiet little unassuming me, who ended up being the family Bad Influence and the Troublemaker

15 year old me would be both impressed and horrified

#Sword speaks #I take these titles with pride #also bro 15 year old me would be so mad #they wanted more than anything to be a cool punk/goth/alt kid but had too much anxiety #and they would have assumed being disowned by half the family would automatically mean a 2009 Hot Topic makeover or something #''You ended up like this and you don't even have the decency to look cool?'' #''What do you mean we've taken up knitting? Are you a grandma? Wait why are our joints cracking like that?'' #''We're queer? Why don't you have any fashion sense then? Tell me we at least got a sick tattoo. No? C'mon!'' #''How the hell are you the Bad Influence when you're so laaaaaaaaaaame''

[xannerz]

#everything is terrible. my mom's nosy and paranoid. her bp spiked so much yday she had to take her emergency pill for it. #ill be out of town starting tomorrow and im afraid to leave her. she's just. unreal rn. i messaged my aunt to keep an eye on her for me. #she keeps spiraling into actual anxiety/panic attacks bc she's convinced i've been influenced by predatory lesbians online #ik it sounds goofy but i hope i get hit by a truck so it's not really that funny to me bc i'm the one dealing with it #ive been considering asking if i can go on a brief leave of absence in jan but i'm already about to go on a week of pto. #idk what our general leave policies are and my family relies on my income so (: #im venting but i really do wanna die. i'm being hydraulically pressed into nothingness by my job and family lmao #xangoeswah

[pechebeche]

where's that text post that's like send me a char/ship and ill make you a 3-5 song playlist. i don't want to look for it. send me a char/ship and ill make you a 3-5 song playlist

#i need a distraction that will not cause me anxiety #and making playlists. for some reason. ultimate calming influence

[possiblytracker]

me (only sober one in the conversation but tired out of my mind and equally lacking a filter): i thibk my.friends are mad at me

one of the five absolutely shitfaced 15-17 year old cousins also sitting round the campfire at the family gathering, taking it in turns to drink straight out a huge bottle of costco margarita mix where the adults are pretending not to see at 11pm on a sunday night: bruhhh have you tried going into the woods and hitting things with a big stick til you feel better

another absolutely shitfaced 15-17 year old cousin: i wish someone would hit ME with a big stick til I feel better :(

#alcohol / #drinking / #ask to tag?? #weekend was eventful #like 30+ people turned up for this fucking party its the most relatives ive seen in one place since 2018 #there was no hitting people with big sticks but someone did get pushed off a trampoline into a nettle patch #which i was not present for i went to bed early(ish). but funny nonetheless #my brother is a BAD INFLUENCE he just kept handing out beers to the cousins his age and getting them absolutely sloshed #people who like. hardly ever drink or even never have before #so the late night campfire was an Interesting Time #very irresponsible he got in so much trouble over it bc hes only allowed to drink if hes responsible about it.. #which means not peer pressuring other 16 year olds. #several of which said later they dont remember anything after 11pm????? guys your LIVERS. thats NOT SAFE #im still on my anxiety bullshit tho i have a presentation to turn in Tomorrow Morning and i have no meds and am tired as fuck #and i DO kinda think people could possibly be mad at me but im just. not thinking abt that right now i have enough on my mind <3 ill die <3 #i miss my friends im a wet shaking animal but if i talk to anyone and turns out they ARE mad i will evaporate into a fine mist i am sorry

[9w1ft]

Do you think Taylor would actually let her association with Karlie go public if there's clear signs it'll affect her finances and her fans support? I mean if those fans hating on Karlie will act on their madness and really attack Karlie like they did Matty (Matty with good reasons yeah) Taylor's image that she truly cares about might be affected. Maybe because of what she put out to the public but I see Taylor too attached to her public image to let Karlie put a dent in that so she'd rather keep it out of the public view for the long foreseeable future. I don't see Taylor ever accepting a sacrifice to her public image like Karlie did by letting those betrayal rumors go wild.

‘but would you die for her in secret?’

#i think it’s chiefly an anxiety issue because taylor’s influence over her fans imo has the power to overshadow anything