#anyway i ​helped fell a couple problem trees and i only had to stop bc of asthma not cuz of low energy! i’m functioning thank goodness:)))

[finalrestingplace]

Yard work’ll do that to ya

#not the first time it’s happened i’ve had worse! #the injury is from yesterday and it is fine #i’ve been meaning to redo my black nails but i’ll skip/go around the left thumb here lol #anyway i ​helped fell a couple problem trees and i only had to stop bc of asthma not cuz of low energy! i’m functioning thank goodness:))) #stopped breathing well and had to go away to hack up a lung but until then it was all good <3 #*has dust allergies and the chainsaw fumes were pretty intense* *at least i didn’t feel Weak for needing a break* *self esteem restored!* #OH BTW I was only using a bowsaw! i’m not allowed to use a chainsaw bc of absence brain thing. wouldn’t wanna get one of those while using- #-power tools 0_0 they r so r@d tho.

[ghostyprince]

prompt thing: 7. routine kisses (bc cuTE af)

this definitely got a bit longer than i thought it would be, but yeah. i hope you’ll like it!! thanks for the prompt request 💖

(ao3 link)

Ryan thought it would be more difficult, getting used to the fact that he’s dating Shane now. Sure, everything felt new and even a bit weird at the beginning, but it was still Shane. The guy he could talk about popcorn for an hour straight, who gets fake-pissy at Ryan for stealing food off his plate and who wouldn’t recognize any real proof of ghosts if it’d hit him right in his big ol’ head.

From then on, it was easy to fell into a routine and treat their relationship as an extension of what they already had. Because it was simply that. They never stopped being best friends, or the ghoulboys. They just got a new neat little label like boyfriends or partners. But it all meant the same thing in the end. What they already had, with benefits like slumping against Shane whenever Ryan pleases, so Shane can wrap one of his unreasonably long arms around him and they fit perfectly together. Or Ryan grabbing onto Shane’s hand when he gets startled, even if he’s embarrassed about it later. What’s a little embarrassment for the comfort of Shane’s too big for their own good hand in his.

The movie nights they had become date nights, the previously established space disappeared between them as they ended up tangled together on Shane’s big, soft couch, or Ryan’s bed every single time. Kissing Shane whenever he damn wants to is just a big perk, not to mention the sex. Ryan honestly can’t decide which one is his favorite.

He never thought much about the other little pleasant things that made their relationship amazing until now, staring at the sea of unedited footage, unable to concentrate without Shane’s presence next to him. It’s becoming a problem, honestly. Well, maybe Ryan just misses him more than usual, barely being able to spend time outside of work with Shane lately, Unsolved completely taking over his days. He loves doing it more than anything, but man, he’s been stressed in the past week.

Ryan misses the sleepovers, curling up next to him after Shane fucks him into the mattress, or rides him, or just laying around arguing over a ghost hunting show, or watching some dumb reality TV together. And Ryan misses their trips to Disneyland, or anywhere they wound up sometimes, really. That’s what Ryan loved about them most, how well they work, it’s like they’re always on an adventure together. Even after several months of dating, they never fail to surprise the other.

Altogether, Ryan was just feeling way too sappy, wanting nothing more than to kiss his boyfriend’s stupid face but Shane was fucking late. He looked at his reflection in the darkened screen in front of him, chin propped up in his hand.

He’s having more and more bad hair days lately, schedule too cramped to go and get a haircut even. His hand twitches towards his hat, but then he lets it fall back on the table, remembering that Shane still hadn’t arrived yet and Ryan didn’t get his mandatory forehead kiss in the morning, which would be made difficult with the hat.

It sort of hits him like a ton of bricks, because it wasn’t a conscious thought, coming deep from his brain after getting used to the gentle press of Shane’s lips near his hairline almost every day for seven months now.

Ryan did gape at him like a fish the first time Shane did it, about a week and a half into their very much new but pretty fucking exciting relationship, right after they stopped hiding it so it was for everyone to see. They were never big on PDA, that was one of the many things they both agreed on when putting down the ground rules. Of course, there were some touches here and there, Ryan stroking a hand down Shane’s arm just because, or Shane putting a hand on Ryan’s thigh under the table in the Ghoul HQ, curious to see how much he can distract him while they’re recording.

There were quick kisses, only sometimes though, because in the first few weeks of their relationship most people in the office started cooing around them every single time, almost in perfect unison. Ryan thought it was at least a bit fucking creepy. They weren’t safe at locations either, TJ and Devon doing the same, mostly to drive them up the wall, Ryan saw right through them.

Before he could marvel more at the rest of their domestic little habits he sees Shane walking towards him. He has the softest little smile on his face, complete with the lovely crinkle of the corners of his eyes Ryan loves so much and wow, does he look at Ryan every time like this?

It’s a heady thought, not helped by the fact that his entire being fills with warmth as his boyfriend gets closer. He lights up like a fucking Christmas tree and he doesn’t even care that Shane knows, that everyone knows who takes one look at his big toothy smile. Let them know, Ryan thinks, it’s usually written all over his face anyway.

“What is it? Do I have something on my face?” Shane asks, smugly as he finally stops next to Ryan. He’s standing right next to his chair, so Ryan has to crane his neck more than usual if he wants to look at him properly.

Before Ryan could even think of an answer Shane is leaning in, planting a just as gentle kiss on his forehead as Ryan expected and he basks in the feeling of it against his skin, almost melts, as the weak weak man he is.

And then Shane is pulling away like that kiss did not just shut down Ryan’s entire operating system. He doesn’t get far though, hands cupping his cheeks to pull him back into a sweet kiss. Ryan feels the soft hum against his lips and relishes in Shane’s stubble brushing against his chin. He dares to drag his tongue along Shane’s, workplace rules be damned, feeling Shane lean more of his weight on the arms of his chair as he breathes a quiet moan into Ryan’s mouth.

“Wow, will I get such a greeting every day if I bring you coffee?” Shane says after they separated, both of them struggling a bit to catch their breaths. Ryan thinks he’s fucking beautiful like this, flushed, eyes shining, he even loves the stupid Cheshire grin on his kiss bitten lips.

“I didn’t even know you brought me coffee,” Ryan admits, mirroring Shane’s grin. “but don’t get used to it, this was a special occasion.”

“Too late, baby. Already got used to it.” Shane answers with a wink, moving away to sit in his chair and push a still steaming coffee cup in front of Ryan. Well, that explains why he was late.

Ryan thinks it’s pretty wild, how after even months and months of being basically attached by the hip (even more so now that they started dating) Ryan could still get excited over just spotting Shane’s stupidly tall form in a crowd. Or about him getting Ryan his favorite coffee, or lunch. Because it says ‘I know you’ve been stressed lately and I care about you’ and nothing warms Ryan’s stupid heart more, so soft for this idiot next to him.

Ryan doesn’t say anything besides a “thanks, big guy” however, as he puts his hat on.

He doesn’t need to, that kiss said a lot already. Besides, Shane knows how fucking gone Ryan is over him and he never fails to take advantage of that, the little shit he is.

Even now, it’s shown in the content happy expression he wears as he sips his coffee, or how he gives Shane’s arm an affectionate squeeze as he can finally focus on working properly and in comfortable silence, chairs pushed up close together, just how they like it.

Shane loves everything about their relationship, the Good Luck kiss they share (as Shane lovingly named it) before they enter any location for Unsolved has to be one of his favorites, however. As the name suggests, it’s to give them good luck. To catch something on camera (“all of the good luck kisses on the world wouldn’t be enough, Ryan”) to not die because Shane provoked some demon, or that the episode will do well, it’s a little bit of all of those, and most importantly, an excuse.

Just like how it started, when Shane couldn’t control himself on the porch of some allegedly haunted home. They were fairly newly dating, it’s been only a couple of weeks since they got their shit together and finally impulse made out in the library as soon as they were left alone after the shooting of a Post Mortem.

Later they made a deal that they’d keep things professional at work, especially because no one knew about them yet. And Shane agreed, but there was only one, tiny problem. Ryan looked gorgeous. Like all the damn time. Even in the shitty light of the porch, and with a BuzzFeed beanie stuck over his messy hair and eyes tired from all the traveling they did. He was fucking stunning and kissable and Shane couldn’t help but marvel at the fact that he’s allowed to kiss him, anytime.

No more pining, no more wondering what it’s like, how he tastes if Ryan would look at him with a soft, lovestruck expression afterward every time, because Ryan is his boyfriend, and Shane would never admit it to anyone how it made his heart flutter still.

He was allowed to, so he did. Brain turned off, cupping Ryan’s cheek in one hand to press a soft kiss to his lips, while Ryan was talking none the less. Right in front of the whole crew. When Ryan (and everyone else, honestly) stared at him bewildered, Shane just grinned and shrugged.

“It’s a good luck kiss,” He said, before casually stepping into the house, heart racing, most definitely not from the thought of what kind of ghosts and demons are waiting for them inside.

That’s how Shane single-handedly outed them. Ryan being pissy about it later was all for show though, it’s not like they were hiding their relationship too well anyway. They just didn’t exactly know how to go about it, and it made things a lot easier later in the end.

Shane did it again, next shoot, and on every single one ever since, until it became tradition. To the point that Ryan would just tilt his head up for a kiss, in a middle of a sentence even, if that’s when they arrived at whatever ghoul infested location they were visiting and Shane adored him for it, happy to comply and peck him on the lips every single time.

#shyan #skeptic believer #shyan fic #fanfiction #shyan fanfiction #fluff

[artangel3993]

this is pt 2 of this drabble and it wont rlly make sense w/o it!  time 4 violet. cw for i mean general fuckery that is conditionally present in the box boy universe, contracts n ownership discussed, also mention of drugs

the inspiration for the setting of the underground military bunker turned psychedelic warehouse is from a real case that was i think still the largest lsd bust in the 2000s which is neat. drug history! that link has pics of the actual bunker too and im p sure vice also did a documentary on it, its a really interesting case! anyways i just want to get to bunker time so i can introduce poppy bc i love her. 

prev | next

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Safiya could not, for the life of her, figure out what the fuck was wrong with this algorithm. She kept running it through her IDE over and over, checked all the spellings of the variables, and it still wouldn’t run the way she needed it to, or be a functional block of code in any way, intended or not (she got that sometimes, when a program would run but it would do something completely fucking different than her intentions.) She dragged her hands down her eyes, and took another long sip of her energy drink. She hadn’t slept in two days and she was still behind on her end of the code for her company’s new game- which fucking sucked, but at the same time, Saf liked the challenge, the conflict. Having something to do. Vi left her with enough money that she’d never have to work a day in her life again and still be fine, but she was good at game development- well. Not right now, but in general. Right now, she was about to ring whoever invented C++ by the neck.

Safiya was set up at the table by the kitchen, hosting her computer, a jumble of folders and piles of unorganized papers, at least three finished Monster’s scattered in between it all, and herself: wrapped in a knitted blanket, the monitor’s blue light bathing her dark skin. Summer was a couple steps away on the couch, lying down on her stomach and watercoloring, her legs idly kicking this way and that in the air (when Saf was working, Summer liked to create with her, she’d put on one of Saf’s records and make all kinds of art in a concentrated, comfortable silence, but watercoloring was always her favorite. Sometimes she’d give Saf painted pictures of the characters in whatever game she was working on, which made Saf smile like an idiot every time and put them someplace safe.) There were still wildflowers and weeds weaved into Summer’s golden hair, mud caking her tennis shoes laid forgotten by the door, and a soft smile on her face; all clues that made Saf infer she’d probably been out in the garden this morning that Summer had recently started. Saf had a lot of land extending from the cottage she’d never explored and left wholly wild and uncared for, so Summer kind of took over. 

Now when Saf looked out one of the front windows, there were all kinds of flowers lining the house, fluffy bumblebees laying on their petals, the beginnings of an apple tree supported by two wooden poles on either side as big as the sapling was. Once, she got dressed in all of her protective clothing because Summer asked if she could bring her outside and show her the full tour, just to see her get excited talking about all the different seeds she’d planted, her plans to tie a swing to the big oak tree out front. Safiya, in those moments, felt like she knew Summer, really. Felt like she knew what she could do to keep her in that good place, and even if she still slipped into being far away, Saf could handle it.

(There were other kinds of days, too, when Summer felt like a completely different person and Safiya was out kicking in the fucking deep end with no understanding of what to do, if anything she could do would make a difference anyways. Sometimes Summer wouldn’t talk for days. Sometimes, she’d sit poised and elegant- on the couch or the rocking chair or her bed in what used to be the spare room- for hours and hours and hours with the only movement being her blinking every so often, her face otherwise looked like it was as trapped in a pose as the rest of her. Safiya would try sitting down with her, and talking as quiet and gentle as her voice would allow, ask her if she was alright, if she wanted to maybe stand up with her and they could take a little walk around the rooms of the cottage, maybe, or- or Saf could put on all of her gear and they could go outside together- take my hand, everything’s okay, you’re safe I promise- but Summer would be unresponsive at that point, staring straight ahead, and Safiya would realize just how fucking unqualified she was to try and help her at all.)

Safiya fell out of her thoughts as the record Summer put on got caught in a groove, and started repeating the same chord over and over. Summer’s head peeked up from the couch, and she walked over to the record player, delicately flipping the vinyl and motioning towards putting it back onto the player.

She never got the chance, though. The front door made a clicking sound, the hinges sighed, and Violet Lowe was standing in the doorframe. Summer dropped the vinyl and it shattered. 

“I thought I changed my locks.” Safiya didn’t move from where she spoke.

Violet shrugged. “You did.” There was quiet. She closed the door behind her to keep the light out.

Safiya stood up, her blanket dropping to the floor, and she felt stupid for being in her sweats and a pair of fucking crocs because it would be really great if she was anything close to intimidating right now. Still, she walked over to Vi, putting herself in between her and Summer. 

Safiya intended to say a lot of things to her, everything that had been boiling in her mind since the morning Vi left and didn’t come back, insults and how could yous and I deserve better than thats. Instead, this is what came out: “I missed you, Vi. So much.” If, Saf thought, she was just a little less emotionally stunted, there’d be tears in her eyes. She really thought Vi wasn’t going to come back this time.

Violet smiled, but it was unreadable behind her sunglasses. She was definitely selling again, it showed in the gold and silver coiling around her fingers in serpentine rings and  dripping down her neck, contrasted starkly against her black cocktail dress. She had new heeled boots that made her stand almost as tall as Summer was, their glossy cold-black finish the exact same shade as her perfectly maintained bob. “I know you missed me. It’s why I came back.”

“Where have you been selling?” Saf knew Vi had friends in the business with mansions up and down the west coast they’d hop around, going from city to city giving out all kinds of compounds and getting rich as fuck in the process, living like psychedelic royalty. But this felt different, she’d been gone for too long.

Vi shook her head. “Not selling. Manufacturing. That’s where the real money is. We don’t have to move around, either, we bought this underground military bunker-”

“A bunker. An underground military bunker.” How the fuck do you just buy an underground military bunker.

Vi mhm’d impatiently, as if she was puzzled as to Saf not being able to keep up. “It used to be for large weapons storage, but it got auctioned off. One of the smartest decisions me and Nic ever made.” Sometimes Saf didn’t recognize the names Vi would rattle off, but Nic, Nic she knew from the one time she’d been with Saf while she was away on her business trips. She swallowed the memories she, frankly, could not be less prepared to deal with, back down.

Violet took Safiya’s hands in hers, the cold metal of her rings making imprints against Saf’s fingers. “Saf, Elana’s making psychoactive compounds nobody’s even theorized about before, with the amount of privacy we have there. You understand? We’re about to change the drug underbelly of this entire nation. And I want you there with me.”

“I’d go with you?” Vi’d never offered to take her with, ever since everything happened that summer, with her Vi, Elana and Nic. Safiya looked back at Summer in her floral sundress (she only wore that one on days when she was feeling good, Saf knew it was her favorite,) who at that point had pressed herself against the wall, standing straight and dead silent, staring at the both of them, her face unreadably calm to most, but Saf knew she only disconnected like that when she was fucking terrified. The record was still in pieces on the ground. With both eyes on her, Summer peeled herself off of the wall and hurriedly started picking up the shattered bits. Safiya moved towards her, breaking Vi’s grip. “It’s alright, Summer, I’ve got this, don’t worry about it-”

“Summer?” Vi said behind her, and Safiya realized just how badly she does not want these two people in her life to interact ever. Fuck. “It suits her so well. How have you liked my birthday present for you so far?”

Safiya stomped back up to Violet, and in a whisper edging on a growl, “We are not doing this right now Vi.” Saf would make grave eye contact with her if it weren’t for the fact that Vi still had her fucking shades on. 

“Now, if you had such a problem with my generosity, she’d be gone by now, wouldn’t she?” And then, after a moment, she added: “Stop acting like a saint, Safiya. You’ve never been a good liar.”

The room buzzed with the echo of her words, and Safiya stood there, quiet, for a dragged out moment, trying to think of some way to spit back at her. It didn’t happen. With the most calm face she can put on right now, she turned back to Summer. “Summer, maybe you should... go outside, for a little bit. I’ll tell you when I’ve shown Violet out.” She makes those last words taste like venom, matter-of-fact, so Vi can hear her anger. 

“No, she can stay.”

Summer stopped dead in her tracks. Looking at the fear in her eyes, that sinking look that overpowered any kind of calm Summer usually had when Saf was there, Saf knew she was lost. Summer was listening to Vi, now, all Vi, the kind of gone Saf was all too familiar with people getting under Vi’s words.

“Anyways,” Vi said, a tad annoyed, as if all of that had just been a mere blip in the conversation, turning her head to address Saf, “yes, you’re coming with. You’d be safe in the bunker, I made sure of it. All of your special lights. I want…. I want you there. With me.”

If this had been in literally any other context, Safiya would’ve smiled at Vi’s effort to communicate her feelings, Saf had been with her for years and she knew how hard it was for her to even understand her own emotions, much less say them out loud. But she was pissed at her, and she was going to hold onto that feeling for as long as she could to make her feel worse. “Summer stays here.” There was no way in hell she was going to let Summer anywhere near Vi’s fucked up drug empire. 

Vi just fucking shrugged. “She’s coming.”

Saf charged at her again, pointing an accusing finger at her and getting close enough until it buried into the fabric of Vi’s dress. “You can act like I’m as fucked up as you are but I would never trust her with your or your f-”

Vi smiled, and batted Saf’s hand off of her as if she was a somewhat disinterested cat. “Let me rephrase that. My name is on her contract. She’s coming.”

#bleas read the cw at the front! #whump #box boy universe #char: violet #char: safiya #char: summer #dehumanization #pet whump

[lauxxury]

STONE COLD - Bucky x FemReader

Summary - You never wanted to come back, not after how you left things with everybody at the Avengers, but especially him. 

Pairing - Bucky x FemReader

Warnings - this is kind of angst, mentions of being hurt but not too much really.

Word count: 1200 more or less

A/N: so yeah this is the first thing i’m going to publish and i’m nervous af. i hope at least someone (1) likes it, just that would make me incredibly happy. Tell me if you’d want another part bc is something i’ve been thinking about. Gif not mine, creadits to owner.

Snow covered everything you could see, from what was supposed to be green grass, to the green leaves of the trees, those of them that still had leaves. You didn’t know how you ended there. Well, you did know: mission gone wrong. but walking in the freezing winter in up state New York was the last way you thought this mission was going to end up.

 Your arms were wrapped around your torso trying to maintain the warm you still had in you. This was the last place you would want to be in, this is the kind of help you never wanted to ask for, not after everything that happened and how things were left. But it was either that or dying, so you made the hard choice.

 At least you could see now the building you knew you were approaching, you knew this path by heart having walked around this fields everyday a few years back. The Compound hadn’t changed a bit in 2 years, 3 months and 12 days. That’s how long you’ve been away.

 Sirens started, you knew it was meant to happen. A small sigh left your lips and your body went crumbling to the ground. They knew you were there. You knew they would save you, at least for old time’s shake when you still were an Avenger.

   ▸◂▸◂▸◂▸◂▸◂▸◂▸◂▸◂▸◂▸◂▸◂▸◂▸◂

It was a high beep what you first noticed of your surroundings, it was also what made you regain your consciousness, its annoyance making you open your eyes slowly trying to figure out where you were. You knew where you were. Up state New York. Avenger’s Compound. Med bay.

 You were alive. They saved you.

 “You scared us, kid” a deep voice sounded on the side of the hospital bed you were laid down. It was familiar, even though you hadn’t heard it since more time than when you left, at least 4 years, give or take.

 “Bruce...” your voice sounded harsh, unused for some time and also breathless, even though you weren’t having troubles to breath. Bruce got closer to you and pulled the oxygen mask off your face. “… you’re back”.

 “I am. And I’m better. But you… No one told me where you went. No one would even talk about you, what did you do?” He took a seat right beside you on those typical hospital chairs they had for the families and friends of the ill.

 “They never knew where I went. I just left” your voice cracked at the end, as if it didn’t want to come out of your mouth, as if just talking about it made your heart break. And it would have, but it was already broken, and sore, two years had done absolutely nothing to ease your pain.

 “I know about Buck-“

 “Don’t. Please don’t. I can’t… I don’t want to…” it was starting to get harder to breath. That was the main problem, heartbreak wasn’t supposed to make you this weak, it wasn’t supposed to make you physically ill.

 “I’m sorry. You should rest”

  ▸◂▸◂▸◂▸◂▸◂▸◂▸◂▸◂▸◂▸◂▸◂▸◂▸◂  

The second time you awoke there wasn’t and oxygen mask on your face, but you still were in the same bed in the same room. Everything was exactly the way you saw it last time, but you felt in your bones that more time than you thought had passed.

 You felt better. The numbness in your arms and legs you felt before was now gone. You were fine and ready to go. This was a bad decision. It saved your life, but it was bad.

 You left the bed and as soon as your feet touched the floor an alarm started beeping. What was it with the avengers and alarms? Did they have one for every single thing or what?

 You heard steps approaching the door of the room and knew you were going to have to face them someday, if not today maybe in a couple of months or years but it was inevitable. And you owed them a thank you, for saving your life.

 The door opened slower than you thought it would and there he stood: the man, the legend, the one who not only broke your heart but made you run away. You knew you shouldn’t blame him, he just fell in love with another person and fell out of love with you. Who would have love you anyway? But that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was knowing who she was and how it all happened in front of your eyes, but you didn’t notice. You never noticed.

 “You shouldn’t be out of bed” his words were harsh laced with disdain. He hated you, you knew it was meant to happened, you knew him well after all.

 “Am I a prisioner?” you asked looking straight at him. He was still handsome, the most handsome men you’ve ever met, he aged like fine wine even for someone who was over a hundred. You knew you sounded like a child, trying to start a fight, but it was your natural response to Bucky after everything that happened.

 “You’ve been in here for two weeks now, you should stay in bed until Banner says otherwise” he was talking as if he was your father and you hated it, you always hated being treated like a kid, even when you knew you were acting like one. You were to answer him but he cut you before you could start. “Don’t you dare. I was the one to find you, you know? You were literally dying out there in the fucking cold. I don’t even know how you’re still alive. You didn’t even have a fucking heartbeat, for fuck’s shake!” his hands went up to put away some strands of hair that were falling into his eyes. He had cut his hair short, a little longer than how he used to wear it back in the 40’s. It suited him, made him look younger. “You were dead! What the hell were you doing out there? It’s been two years! Two years of not knowing a fucking thing about you! Nothing! And that’s how you come back? Almost dying!”

 The sound of someone clearing their throat at the door of the room made Bucky stop his rambling. There she stood, still beautiful but not redheaded anymore. That was a change you didn’t see coming.

 Bucky looked at her as if he was caught doing something illegal, guilt all over his features. Then he looked at you and the only feeling his eyes showed was pain, those eyes piercing to the center of your body making you feel the emptiest you’ve ever felt. And then he turned around and left the room, heavy steps echoing in the hallway.

 “Why did you come back?”

 A/N: so that’s it. im tagging @itsbuckysworld bc you tagged me in the wip name tag and althought this wasn’t in the list that tag made me want to write something, gracias. You can find chapter 2 on my masterlist on my bio!!

#bucky barnes #marvel #marvel fic #fanfiction #fanfic #bucky #james buchanan barnes #winter soldier #angst #bruce banner #hulk #bucky x reader #bucky x femreader #avengers #avengers au

[sansofhumor]

title: hey, kid, you’ve goat this rating: pg? characters: sans, papyrus, frisk, asgore tags: sanscentric, referenced character death, AU, death and grief

notes: this is uhhhhhh, raw and not edited bc i die, boy. super self-indulgent. no questons asked. where’s asriel?? chara?? no one knows don’t ask me!! here it is on Ao3! ((for content warnings: the character death isn’t for any of the listed characters, and isn’t described, but the fallout is... basically the whole fic.)

sans hesitates after stepping in the building, glancing around haphazardly. there's a cashier to his left, and walls of clothing in every direction except for in front of him, which has uh, watches? he looks up but the signs aren't very informative. womens, mens, housewares. aren't all these clothes technically house-wears? heh.

"Hello! Do you--uh, do you need help?" The cashier stutters when he turns to face them, but makes a remarkable effort at keeping the surprise off his face and smiling.

((readmore for mobile))

"uh, looking for a suit, or something." he shrugs, pushing his hands into his pockets.

"Let me get you some help!" The cashier speaks into a headset and then tells sans someone will be right there. he shrugs. that's fine. suppose it'd be easier to let someone who might know what they're doing take the reins.

in a matter of moments, another employee comes racing down the aisle stuttering to a stop before him. it's not very busy in the store but they look stressed anyways. despite that, they're smiling. they introduce themselves.

"How can I help you today?"

"just looking for a suit jacket. black. uh cheap?" he says, tacking that last bit on as an afterthought.

"Hmm. Well we aren't going to have a very big selection, but let's look in our clearance!" They lead the way and sans awkwardly follows, into the racks of clothes. They stop in front of a small selection and sans tilts his head looking at what's on offer.

"Do you know your size?"

"uh, round?" he says, looking down at himself then back up at them.

"Try this one?"  

he does. the arms are long, but it hangs alright.

"Hmm, that's a regular, so we're looking for a 40, 42 short." They mumble, picking another jacket. this one is grey. he shrugs into it easily enough. it's still a little long,  but better.

"heh, something wrong?" he asks and the associate winces.

"You need black, you said?"

"yeah, uh. special occasion."

"We don't have much here, there's the grey. Darker grey. Blue. We have some sixty percent off stuff?" They nervously shuffle their feet. he takes a look at the tag. Forty five dollars and it's 90% off.

"eh, sure."

sans takes a look at the jackets, but they're all navys and tans. the associate looks mildly embarrassed, still clutching the slightly too long, dark grey jacket.

"That's all we have, uh, in that price range… do-- when do you need the jacket?”

sans looks at his wrist. it’s bare. he shrugs. “sooner the better.”

“Yeah, the earliest we’re going to get some more markdowns is in a few days. Uhm, and all we have is this--the dark grey. And the black in a smaller size.” They awkwardly shuffle again, gripping the jacket.

“yeah, see, it’s for a uh funeral. gotta be black.” he reaches out and tilts the sleeve so it catches the fluorescent lighting, “or white i guess.”

They start shaking their head immediately, reluctantly informing him they don’t carry white outside of prom season.

“Uhm, I don’t know if this is the first store you tried. Uhm, but the only other place I can think to try is a thrift store--”

“well,” sans shrugs, “i’m actually. late. already.”

the human boggles.

“Oh, I’m--” they frown, “We can-- gosh we don’t have any coupons or anything out. Uhm, you can always return it later? If you’re only going to use it once, I mean. We’ll take it back, no problem.”

“sounds like work,” he breathes. and work? it’s just not like him. she’d understand. “she wouldn’t recognize me in a suit anyways.”

“Oh,” the human glances at him before looking away, “Uh. I--”

“welp. i’ll get outta your hair then.”

“Wait--” sans waits. “Uhm, I just. You look like you’re going through a rough time? Are you uhm, gonna be okay?”

in general, or right now? because, as long as he, you know, doesn’t think about it, he’s fine. he looks at their face. oh, they’re asking-- “it’s fine, i’ve got a shortcut. no breakdowns while driving for me, at least none of the emotional kind, heh.” he sees them whisper ‘breakdowns’. they look like they want to laugh but not offend him. they wrestle the urge down.

“Okay.” they look down at the coat again. “I think… I think whatever you show up in will be okay. She-- she’ll understand.”

sans wishes they’d laughed instead.

“you’re right, tori never let me get her goat anyways, knew i was always kidding around.” he waits just a second before he remembers this person won’t get the joke. he sighs.

“Well. I hope you uh…” they frown hard for a moment. he waits patiently. it’s what he does. “I hope you have... I hope your day is--” they look like they are about to quit. he smiles. well, he’s always smiling. “I hope your spirits lift soon! It’s a shame to see them so … depressed?”

he gives the joke a second of breathing room. the human’s face slowly morphs into one of unrestrained horror. he starts chuckling, then laughing, his breath leaving him in a woosh of amusement. “heh, gotta say, kid, that was a real rib tickler.” they breath a sigh of relief. “you gotta future in amateur comedy, if this sales thing don’t work out. anyways, i’ll leave you to it, kid. thanks for giving me a chuckle, you really made someone’s day.”

“Uh, bye, then!” they give a wave. he walks into the dressing room. he’s gone when they check in on him.

monster funerals are pretty cool. monsters turn to dust when they die, so the most integral part of the ceremony is spreading dust on their most loved things. normally a monster will have a small ceremony, with their surviving family and their close friends spreading the dust on a favorite book, or instrument. maybe, the dust would get split between those who had been closest to the fallen. however, when someone who touched the souls of almost every monster living falls down, the arrangements are a bit different.

Toriel hadn’t been a small monster. but still, her dust doesn’t amount to much. the urnful of ash doesn’t look like it should be all that’s left of the boss monster. it looks small, dainty almost, and though Toriel had never been ungainly, dainty wasn’t a word sans would use to describe her. regal maybe.

there is a line, a procession before him, of monsters. some with various knicknacks gripped in their limbs, some with nothing. all of them there to honor Toriel. she had loved the people in her community and she had touched so many lives and all those souls want closure. some hold precious memories-- “Toriel gave me this recipe while planning for the PTA bake sale, she said it was for her favorite pie”--and they receive a sprinkle of dust, so toriel’s essence can live on in those happier times. some only have the memories in their head, but they still want to be there, to offer their sympathies.

the urn grows deeper as it is emptied of toriel’s dust. if sans were prone to feeling bitter, if he could muster up the effort, he might be tempted to feel bitter about this. tori’s dust being spread so thin, across so many monsters. by rights, tori’s kid should be the one who gets to lay tori’s dust where they want. Tori’s kid, and maybe Asgore, her ex husband, depending on how she felt before she fell. but her dust was spread thin the way her love never was, and if he thinks about it, this is really what tori would have wanted. this ritual, spread across so many, is something to give the monsters in the community hope. to keep their will up even when a pillar has fallen.

besides, why should he get upset over this? it’s not like he wants any of her dust for himself. he has nothing to spread it over, no mementos or sentiments he can hold onto. just a door and some jokes they spent hours and hours on. the soft memory of her braying laughter, the noise of his bones knock knocking against wood. he hadn’t settled in her life, and he’d made sure she couldn’t settle in his.

though, the way his soul feels, he was maybe not too successful at the latter.

he stands at the edge of the gathering until everyone has filed away. he sees a couple monsters he knows-- the neighborhood watchdogs, the school’s coach and science teacher. he sees his brother as well. he sees them all come and go until only asgore remains. he stays until asgore leaves as well, returning to the quaint and tidy house toriel had lived in. he makes his way to the tree they’d stood under. the tree hadn’t meant anything special to toriel, but he isn’t going to interrupt what remains of her family with his tired jokes.

he raps his knuckles against the tree. “knock knock.”

nobody answers.

“hopper.”

“hopper happy on the other side.”

he waits and knocks again.

“knock knock…. baaa….. can’t you tell yourself? i’ve gotten your goat!” inspired, he follows that up quickly with another one. “knock knock… goat… what goat, can’t you see i’m kidding around?” he chuckles.

then he knocks again.

“knock knock…. your leaf….. you’re leafing me bonely, pal.”

and finally: “knock knock. i’ll fish…. i’ll fish you a lot.”

he sighs and thunks his head against the tree trunk. well, that’s as much of a eulogy as he is going to make. kind of went off on a tangent there. welp.

there’s another knocking sound, but this one doesn’t come from him.

“who’s there?” he answers the call obligingly. he’s informed that there’s an interrupting drop bear waiting at his door. “interrupting drop bear who--” a kid tumbles into his arms from the branches above. they’re lucky he’s magical.

“oof, there you are, kiddo. was wondering where you were hiding. oh, you’re wondering why i was late? i had problems with a suitor.” they look at him questioningly. “couldn’t find a suitable jacket.” they look at his worn hoodie and nod their head in agreement. he chuckles and sets them on the ground. “‘sides, better later than never, am i right?” they only shrug.

“well, come on, time to get you inside and fed. it’s getting late.” they take his hand, and he forces himself not to pull away. he walks them up to the door of toriel’s cottage home and knocks, two quick raps out of habit.

“I’ll be just a minute, who’s there?” that’s asgore.

“i’ll be just a minute.”

“Oh, I’ll be just a minute who?” Asgore asks, opening the door, a tired smile on his face. he probably only answered that way because he recognizes sans voice.

“i’ll be just a minute is you,remember?  i’m sans. this is frisk.” he winks. “hey, ‘gorey. goat your kid.”

Asgore blinks, smile trembling a moment before pulling himself back together.

“Ahh, yes… my, hmm. Frisk, I had been wondering where you were at. Thank you, for bringing them home safely, Sans.”

“no prob, i’ll just get outta your way now, then--”

“Nonsense, please, let me invite you in for a cup of tea. I’m sure Frisk would appreciate the company.” as would i, he doesn’t add, but sans can read it on his face well enough. of course asgore doesn’t want to be alone right now. well... sans isn’t very good company right now.

“nah, it’ll just go straight through me, you know that.” he huffs a laugh.

“If you are quite certain, there are some leftovers in the kitchen, still.”

“well, if ya add food into the equation, guess i’m a variable after all.” asgore does not look like he gets the joke. sans won’t explain it.

the dinner is an awkward affair. there’s the remains of a snail casserole, heated up by fire magic. Frisk is sitting next to him, asgore is seated at the head of the table, though not the side that toriel would’ve taken. asgore made tea for them all anyway, and sans drinks it. it’s floral, and it dissipates like all magic food.

“She had a Last Will and Testament notarized,” asgore announces, not quite out of the blue.

“that requires some, uh, foresight.” he comments. asgore glances at him and shuffles his cutlery around.

“We’re reading it tomorrow, in the morning at the courthouse.”

“prompt, sounds good.” he doesn’t know why asgore would be telling him this. he looks at asgore’s face, catches his eyeline, follows it to the kid. “ah,” he says.

“Ah?”

“you need a kidsitter?” he asks. frisk wrinkles their nose at him. they’re not a-- “yeah yeah you’re not a baby, did i call you one?” he winks and frisk pouts. “i don’t have plans, i can make sure your kid is flat as a pancake by the time you come back.”

he’s not really sure why anyone thinks he’s responsible enough for kid duty. toriel had asked him quite a lot. well, he supposes frisk makes it easy most of the time. sure they get into tight spots, but they aren’t nearly the hellion papyrus was at that age.

“That’s not-- actually. Yes, that would work out fine, I believe. Would you like to stay the night then, so you do not have to make the trip twice over?” asgore is incredibly good at looking pleading and open and soft.

“eh, gotta text papyrus. he might want a sleepover with his favorite human too. you willing to host that?” he asks. he, uh, doesn’t really want to spend the night under tori’s roof when he knows that he won’t stumble upon her laughing in her kitchen or reading in the armchair by the fireplace. unfortunately, his brother is really cool and everyone knows that.

“I’d be delighted to have your brother here. He’d be welcome.”

he texts papyrus. papyrus would REALLY, REALLY LOVE TO HAVE A “SLEEP” OVER AT THE HUMAN’S, SANS! BECAUSE I AM SUCH A GOOD AND PREPARED FRIEND, I WILL BRING ALL THE NECESSARY EQUIPMENT. SPAGHETTI, PUZZLES, A VACUUM!  

his brother really lightens the mood when he arrives. bearing puzzles and tupperware containers of food--and dragging a vacuum he insists on using before the night is up--he forcefully injects smiles and optimism into the small gathering. gosh. sans brother is just so cool.

asgore gets along well with Papyrus, he makes a pretty good foil for sans’ excitable brother. still, he bows out of the party games early, thanking them both for offering to keep an eye on the kid the next day.

sans watches the kid and papyrus giggling together over their puzzle game. they keep trying to entice him to join them but he’s content with dozing on the couch.  they rouse him enough to tell him they're ready for bed, looking at him expectantly.

“hmm, you're right it is getting late. ‘night, then.” he rolls over, mostly to hide his amused face.

“SANS!”

he snickers, catches himself, and turns it into a loud snore.

the kid tugs at his jacket as papyrus yells some more. he keeps pretending. the tugs on his jacket stop, and papyrus goes quiet. sans gets suspicious.

“ONE. TWO. THREE!” there’s a rush of movement and then the kiddo is landing in him. he lets out a whoof of air as they settle on him.

“ah, nice of you to drop in.” they giggle. papyrus, who is still holding their arms where he helped soften their landing, scoffs. “oh, you wanted a bedtime story before catching some shut-eye?”

“OF COURSE WE DO SANS! IT’S TRADITION!”

“well, can’t say no to tradition, i guess. settle in.”

papyrus squeezes onto the couch next to them, and sans begins the story with “once upon a time".

the next morning sans wakes to the sound of people getting ready for the day. none of them are being quiet about it, all of them used to him sleeping through anything. he’d actually had a decent amount of sleep though, and as such his mind is reluctantly drawn to wakefulness.

the house smells like breakfast spaghetti, so papyrus must’ve convinced asgore to let him in the kitchen already. asgore’s deep voice was commenting on something something sauce, so he is also in the kitchen. that leaves…

he opens his eyes and meets frisk’s. they grin at him, steady. he returns the smile.

“morning, kiddo. youre up already? heh, yeah we all know who the lazy bones here is.” he sits up and notices that the kid is dressed in a jumper instead of the pajamas they fell asleep last night.

“ready to chill today?” he asks.

they pout at him, smile melting off their face. he raises the ridge above his eye sockets. they just shrug and tug on his sleeve again.

“alright, time for breakfast, then.” he lets himself be pulled up and dragged to the table where papyrus has already set everything out.

“oh, neat, bro, spaghetticakes. my favorite!”

“SANS, YOU SAID MY SPAGHETTI CASSEROLE WAS YOUR FAVORITE?”

“yeah, bro, if you make it, it’s my favorite.”

“AWWW, A GENUINE COMPLIMENT!” papyrus takes a moment out of his busy routine to skip over to sans and give due affection. sans soaks it up like a sponge, albeit a lazy one

“so, getting ready for that willing?” sans asks asgore, who is busy pushing his breakfast around his plate.

“Ah, yes. That. That is. I have received word that Frisk should be present, so it turns out your supervision will not be necessary. I am sorry for inconveniencing you and your brother.”

“doesn’t seem like the kid wants to go.”

“Be that as it may.” asgore starts, and then let’s go, as if it explains everything.

“why not just, you know, let the kid hang out here. no need to drag ‘em with you.”

“It’s very important they attend.” he sighs, resigned. “If sparing them this would benefit them in the long run, I would do so.” he admits. “Again, I apologize for inconveniencing you.”

sans shrugs at the kid. he tried.

“OH. NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE! THOUGH IT DOES SEEM MEAN TO HAVE GOTTEN FRISK’S HOPES TO HANG OUT WITH A COOL SKELETON LIKE ME UP AND THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH ON THAT PROMISE…. PERHAPS WE CAN STILL ‘HANG’ AFTER YOUR COURT THING?”

frisk nods excitedly. they want ice cream.

“I do have something to attend after the meeting. I was planning on taking Frisk, but if you’d still like to watch them?”

“OF COURSE!”

“Would it be too much trouble to accompany us to the reading then? That way no one will have to make this trip twice.”

sans narrows his eye-sockets. “was really planning on, uh, taking it easy today.”

“NONSENSE SANS. YOU TAKE IT EASY EVERYDAY. WE’LL JOIN YOU.”

well. now papyrus would just carry him there if he tried to stay behind.

asgore prefers wearing those tropical shirts with the obnoxious patterns and dad shorts. today he’s wearing a suit. sans wonders where toriel was hiding an asgore sized suit-- why she was hiding an asgore sized suit-- or if asgore had brought it with him and hung it somewhere in toriel’s closet. the guest room closet, perhaps, but still toriel’s.

sans would be wearing that suit jacket if he’d ever gotten around to buying it. as it is, he’s dressed in his dirty blue hoodie. everyone else in the room is wearing clean, somber colors. except papyrus of course, in his bright scarf.

he doesn’t mind. he’s too busy passing notes to frisk, who is on the verge of tears. he wants to be mad at asgore. but he looks on the verge of tears as well. the kid opens the note. it’s a poorly drawn caricature of the human reading the legalese of toriel’s will. it startles a chuckle out of the kid.

“The house will be donated to the Monster Wellness Association, under conditions that they use it in line with their mission statement, stipulations on page 8.”

Frisk tenses again and sans wants to grab their hand and take ‘em to get ice cream right now! all this was doing was making the kid realize how much of their mother they were losing at once. not just toriel herself, but the kitchen she cooked in, the fireplace, the cozy room sans had “helped" paint (there was one skeletal handprint underneath the even coat).  

“All of my worldly belongings are bequeathed to my child, Frisk. Frisk may part and parcel them how they choose, though I ask them to consider donating what they do not wish to keep or give to friends to a reputable charity.”

the kid’s breath starts to hitch. sans doesnt know how to help. he has a feeling silly notes wont cut it his time. instead he puts his hand out, and isnt surprised when the kid grips it shakily.

“Concerning Frisk, as I am their only gaurdian and there is no next of kin to take on that role, I will offer my intentions here.” asgore shuts his eyes. ouch, that’s rough, buddy. maybe calling frisk his kid was a little premature. but what else was sans supposed assume? though asgore and toriel had broken up years ago, sans just thought. you know. asgore would, uh. Inherit the kid?

“Though, perhaps unexpected, I believe this the best course of action for everyone involved. I would like to name C. Sans guardian of my child, Frisk.”

because asgore actually had kid, heh, raising experience and toriel had known him for-- wait. What?

“what was that?”

frisk looks at him with wide eyes.

Papyrus looks at him with wide eyes.

“WOWIE BROTHER! DOES THIS MAKE ME AN UNCLE?”

even he knows it would be a dick move to shortcut the hell out of there. the kid still has his hand so he can’t anways, unless he wants a hitchhiker. he does glare in asgore’s direction.  asgore avoids his eyeline. coward.

well. perhaps sans shouldn't be throwing stones.

he keeps his peace so the rest of tori’s will can be read. quietly biding his time, trying to catch asgore’s eyes, avoiding the kid’s.  he still doesn’t take away his hand, and the kid hasn’t let go, but he doesn’t think that reassures either of them.

once the place nearly clears out, sans stands and corners the officiator. asgore seems to have a similar idea.

“OH! FRISK WHY DON’T WE LOOK FOR ICE CREAM. OUTSIDE. WHERE ICE CREAM IS?”

papyrus meets sans’ eyes for half a second. long enough for sans to feel properly chastised and encouraged, like papyrus had found time to lecture and give him a pep talk all within a glance. a pepyrus talk. Heh.

once theyre both gone, he faces the front of the room.

“so you knew about this, ‘gorey?” there’s a question mark, but it isn’t really a question.

“I could not find the right time to bring it up. Toriel had, ah, discussed it with me before. I thought she was planning to have this conversation with you, and it was not my place to intercede and yet…” he trails off.

“you want the kid, don’t you?”

“I do, of course. And will take them in if you find you're not ready to take the responsibility.”

“thought you’d put up more of a fight,”

the boss monster squares his shoulders and faces sans, for real. his stare flinty, stern.

“Do not mistake me, Sans. You are my friend, but if I thought for a second you would do wrong by Toriel’s memory, we would already be in a courtroom.” his eyes soften just a bit, “As it is, that would leave Frisk in a precarious position, and I would not wish to do that when there are other, less drastic means.”

sans hummed, shrugging his shoulders under his jacket. “youre hoping i back out so theres no fuss or muss, eh?”

“You,” asgore scratches his nose, caught out. “You are not known for taking on such responsibility, by your own admission, my friend.”

“hmn,” sans acknowledges his point, “so i, uh, what, refuse custody and the kid gets to go home to your place?”

“Well,” the human interrupts, “Frisk would be temporarily placed in child services, as you are the only officially named next of kin. They’d go down the list-- perhaps your brother, since he is your next of kin-- evaluating each person’s qualifications as guardian. It could take quite a while before Mr. Dreemur is considered, though I’m sure it could be expedited.”

sans narrows his eye sockets, “whattabout what the kid wants, eh? you’d just ship ‘em off with strangers when there’s plenty of monsters they know who’d be willin’ to take ‘em in?”

the human shrugs, “Not me, personally. It’s the system.”

“The process would not take long at all,” asgore says, “It would be quite quick after I submit my application.”

“why was tori so deadset on me havin the kid anyways,”

“I’m afraid it is more that she didn't want me to have them. She was still quite mad at me, despite how she pretended at aloofness.”

sans considered. “why wouldnt she want you to step in, ‘gorey? youre not terrible, whatever your differences. she never had a problem with frisk spending time with you.”

Asgore’s mouth flattened, as did his ears. “Her arguments were… several. I suppose. I am often quite busy, caring full time for frisk would require careful scheduling. I also live quite a distance away, and moving would most likely require frisk to change school zones. They are not unimportant issues but also not something I cannot overcome.”

“yeah, thats what i figured too, but if that were it, tori would've still listed you as an option… something you ain’t telling me?”

sans carefully examines asgore’s face. the tightening of his jaw, the wrinkle between his brows. considers toriel, what she would say about her and asgores lives, when they were together.

he used to be so reliable, she said.

sans would argue that asgore is still reliable. busy, yes. he is the official monster delegate, wielding almost unparalleled political power of course he’s busy. but even as such he always makes time for frisk, his duties, his friends, his hobbies. though sans can see the weight of it on him, he also knows asgore would not let it interfere with frisk’s care.

but then he stopped being reliable for toriel. made decisions about their lives he didn’t consult her about. and when she did try to talk to him about it, he nodded and listened and was sad and contrite but did not bend. it became something toriel could not-- didn’t want to--overcome. so she left.

“what if frisk doesn't want to switch schools?”

“I don’t foresee it being difficult to persuade them of the advantages of a different school district. They aren't a troublesome child.”

“‘course not. hey, why don't we ask them?”

“What?” asgores eyebrows climb up his worried forehead.

“yeah, seems like something they should have a say in, ya’know.” he walks to the door as asgore stumbles over his words.

“You do not think-- all of this stress they are already under-- I understand the importance of--”

and he pulls the door open, a skeleton and a child tumbling into the room when they didn’t scramble back fast enough. sans raises an orbital ridge at his brother. papyrus pops back up and dusts off his body.

“WHY FRISK… IT LOOKS LIKE THE ICE CREAM IS NOT HERE??”

sans shakes his head and looks down at frisk. “whaddaya say, kiddo?”

frisk looks up at him, nervously, before glancing at asgore. the big guy just waves a little, smiling softly. he really does just want the best for frisk, he just has a tendency to make decisions first and cry about them later.

“hey, ‘sall right, buddy, it’s not a decision you have to make now, alright? we can have another sleepover and talk about it in the morning.”

frisk nods, cautiously standing up, reaching for Papyrus’s hand. they go get icecream.

despite the will it still takes awhile for toriel’s wishes to go through with finalization. this mostly means sans is spending a lot of nights on toriel's couch while waiting for frisk’s decision. finally the deed for the house changes names and sans gets the notification.

frisk is still a child, there's no way they know what they will have wished they'd kept and what to give away. still, sans has no part in this process, and he's slowly realizing asgore doesn't quite have a say either.  

“I can have the important things moved to my home, or a storage facility for Frisk to go through when they are feeling up to it. I can have a list of charities by tomorrow as well, for the rest of it.”

“they gave us time, no one is gonna kick us out because frisk hasn't sorted through everything.” sans feels the need to say, since frisk is still in their room.

“I would not throw away anything of sentimental value.” asgore seems offended.

“didn't say so, buddy, just think that maybe frisk should have a say instead of dealing with whatever we think is important instead.”

asgore's nostrils flare, but his shoulders slump and he nods his head. “We shouldn't tarry, however kind the MWA are being.”

sans thinks that the MWA will let them stay as long as they need, but he doesn't press the issue. he decides he should ask the kid how they want to go about this. he kind of doesn't want to deal with it. but if frisk doesn't make their decision, asgore will and though sans isn't the sentimental type he can tell frisk is. what if they throw away a pie tin, and in twenty years frisk will have a break down because they dont have their mother's pie tin to make their mother's favorite pie?

well, maybe he's over thinking this.

he knocks on their bedroom door, then lets himself in.

frisk is a lump on the floor, not even under any blankets. sans steps into the room.

“what's up, kiddo?” they turn to look at him, and their face is miserable. yeah, hearing that it was time to pack up and divide what was left of your mother's life would do that to you.

“you don't have to do it on your own, kiddo. you’ll have all the help you can want.”  frisk wipes under their eyes hastily, though they aren't crying. “i can call pap, he’ll be down to help with everything. he can bring undyne--she probably won't suplex anything if you ask her.”

frisk’s smile is wobbly.

“asgore has got a place set up to help store everything you want, you don't have to worry about space.” frisk hiccups softly, surprising themselves and sans cant help but chuckle at their surprised expression.

he takes the opportunity to shuffle closer and pat their back reassuringly. humans are so weird, with their flesh and trapped air bubbles and reflexively convulsive muscles.

when they calm down, frisk tugs his sleeve enough to get his attention. he inhales a bit sharp. they smile at him hopefully.

“...yeah, you got me, too.” their smile grows.  he gets an idea, and lets himself drop on them. he hears them make a noise of surprise. “oh no,” he says, “looks like you really got me, you're too strong.”

frisk is giggling, pretending to shove him away with their small hands. “i can't escape, your gravitational pull is just too strong,” he leans more weight onto them, carefully. frisk is laughing now, breathless as they flail their limbs, pushing at his loose jacket and his rough bones. with a jolt they finally collapse, and they both fall flat.

he laughs, and waits until they focus on him again, their cheeks and eyes red, but not from stifling tears anymore. “hey, kiddo.” frisk hums in acknowledgment. “looks like your stuck with me, huh.”

their hand finds his again.

he finds he's starting to mind it less.

the kid is looking indecisive at the trash. sans is leaning against the counter. he's sure that toriel would have asked frisk to take the garbage bag to the curb as one of their chores before-- well. and now the kid is frozen, sad eyes staring at the garbage can with something heavy crawling across their back.

sans doesn't know what it's like, longing so deeply for something. sometimes, he's not sure he really knows what feeling anything is like anymore.

there's nothing more that sans wants than to leave frisk to have this moment alone. but he'd already promised the kid that they were stuck with him, and it's not like he is going to make himself useful by actually packing up tori’s--now the kid’s--belongings. so he stays, and watches frisk's shoulders stiffen with decision.

they take out the trash.

it's one more thing they're saying goodbye to.

a lot of the furniture has been parceled between the friends gathered to help frisk. undyne had snagged quite a few kitchen appliances, asgore had been surprised and touched when frisk gave him toriel's bookshelves and her treasured chairiel.

there were quite a few things frisk was donating as well, both to a monster shelter--a lot of toriel's non-perishable foodstuffs and blankets--and to the mwa group moving in.

some other things were for asgore's storage system, to be considered another day--toriel’s clothes, her stacks of books, the teaching supplies.

frisk seems reluctant to actually keep anything for themselves, despite sans insisting that they can keep every item in the house. not like asgore cant afford that much storage. there's a lot that frisk lingers over, but hesitates to grab. a book of snail facts that frisk rubs a finger over before placing it in a box headed for asgore's house.

sans, despite everything else, knows the importance of bedtime stories and he knicks the tome when noone is looking.

and now frisk is getting teary eyed over the trash can. sans doesn't want to psychoanalyze that, but it's not like he can stop himself from reading the tense lines in their body.

he hops up onto the kitchen counter, the movement familiar enough to him. he knocks into the knife block, and frisk’s eyes snap to him. their gaze slides over to the knives, contemplating.

they drag a new box to the counter and reach towards the cabinets, ignoring the knives.

“oh, you think since i'm up here i'm game to help you?” he leans back, resting against the backsplash, short enough that the cabinets dont bother him.

they shake their head and rattle the box insistently and sans relents.

“‘k. but only ‘cause youre even shorter than me.” and instead of reaching up to hand the mugs in the cupboard to the kid, he just turns their soul blue and lifts them up to the cabinets.

they laugh, delighted, and plop the box on sans' lap, before getting down to business.

frisk isn't going about this methodically, though they are being thorough. it probably doesn't help that the rest of their friends are disorganized themselves, each deciding to tack different areas. mostly this means that frisk has already helped undyne and papyrus pack up a lot of the dishes and pots and pie tins--frisk didn't keep any for themselves, but gave Papyrus everything from the casserole dish to the smallest tart round. sans doesnt know why, his brother doesn't really bake and always looks quizzical when sans offers a quiche on the rare occasion sans gives him a night off from dinner duty--but there are still coffee mugs since undyne has too many already and Papyrus doesn't really drink things that can't be put into a normal glass.

frisk carefully pulls these down and hands them to sans, who dutifully wraps them in newspaper and places them into the box. toriel had a lot of mugs, a lot of funny ones and collectible ones. he huffs a laugh at i like you a latte as he wraps the papers around it.

frisk laughs as well, and hands him another, this one saying this is some with a picture of a koala and a tea bag. that one is very good.

another mug, another joke. “that's what.” -she is particularly clever and sans can see it delighting the part of toriel who loved teaching.

frisk gestures to be let down and as soon as their feet touch the tile they take off to another cabinet, digging through the contents before running back to sans and the box.

sans wraps up a salt shaker and tilts his head and the ceramic battery sculpture paired with it. frisk huffs and shakes some pepper out of the batter and sans is positively delighted.

“a salt and battery!” sans laughs, doubling over on the counter, “that one really--” he tries to catch a breath between his chuckling, “that one really packs a punch, kid!”

frisk helps sans off the counter when he gets over his laughing fit, and gathers a few more punny kitchenware for the box before giving it back to sans.

“alright, where do’ya want this one?” he follows frisk's direction and sets the box down, deliberately separate from but still related to Papyrus’ stack of boxes.

“oh--” he, uh, he doesn't know what to say now.

frisk looks at him, expression determined.

“IS THIS ONE MY BROTHER'S THEN?”

Papyrus swoops in and snags the box from between them.

“ah, pap--”

“YES, SANS?” Papyrus looks guilelessly at sans, cradling the box. frisk is nervously biting their lip. okay. yeah, this isn't the hill he's going to die on. he can just. put them in a drawer somewhere and not look at them, or something. no need to get worked up about this. ‘s not like his kitchen is already going to be filled up with tori's left behinds.

“there's uh, ceramics in there. so.”

“OF COURSE I WILL BE CAREFUL WITH THEM, SANS! THAT'S WHY I AM CARRYING THEM. I AM THE BEST AT CARRYING THINGS. I CARRY YOU ALL THE TIME!”

“you're right.”

Papyrus spins on his heel and marches out the door like he's afraid sans is going to unpack the box if he isn't fast enough. sans sighs, rubbing the back of his neck.

most of the house is packed up now. undyne os clattering somewhere throwing junk in a box to be donated probably. asgore is marking things to be put in storage.

a touch nudges his hand, and sans looks down to see the kid looking at him from beneath their fringe.  the kitchen is clear enough for frisk, the kid is content that anything left can be claimed by their friends or given away now that they've gotten sans to accept the box.

sans lets his hand turn so he can catch frisk's fingers. “alright, what's next?”

frisk tightens the hold and leads him down the hall, to toriel's room. sans feels his grin take a nervous shade, but. he said he'd be there for the kid, he can't run away now.

frisk’s grip is too tight.

the door creaks open and sans is led inside. the lights are off and the kid does not turn them on, so neither does sans. they tug him over to a desk where they finally let go of his hand. he’s in it too far to leave now, so he puts his hands in his pockets while the kid carefully goes through the desk drawers.

tori’s room is quaint, tidy. like he would expect from her, if he had to guess. her bed is tucked in a corner, taking up more room than a standard but less than a king, the covers smoothed and well made but not like a perfectionist did them up. there is a chest and a dresser. everything is unassuming.

frisk closes a drawer with care so sans takes his cue and refocuses his attention on them.

they are holding out a book.

“oh, kiddo…”

oh, kiddo indeed. they hold out the book insistently. sans does not take it. they insist again. sans dodges.

“c’mon that’s, kid… it’s-- that’s uh,” he runs out of words.

they pull back the book just to flip it open, searching for a page to show him. he doesn’t want to see it. they show him anyways. it’s just a simple planner, a teacher’s agenda. days divided into squares with notes written in the corners. almost like a journal. there’s an entry circled and sans can’t help but read it.

Why did the skeleton want a friend? …. Because she was feeling BONELY!

frisk closes the book and offers it again like a question. sans shakes his head.

“i just…” it’s too much, he doesn’t say. he’s been doing good at not thinking about it. he’s been doing really good and avoiding the thoughts and memories and expecting her braying laughter after he tells a joke and finding its absence instead.

he spent so much time trying to minimize the damage. he can remember the first time he stopped and realized this was going to hurt, when it ended and known he’d been in too deep to stop it from hurting at all because toriel had made it so hard to just not care but he had been preparing himself for the inevitability that she’d get tired of him, or offended? or that he’d mess something up like he always does and she’d be out of his life, because the only good thing he ever managed to keep was Papyrus and that was inexplicably in spite of everything sans ever did.

this was so much worse than he was expecting.

all that effort and now everywhere he turns there’s a space that isn’t empty but doesn’t have potential anymore. his next words don’t have the potential to make toriel laugh, anymore. the spaces between his fingers no longer have the potential to get chalky with flour. he’ll never be able to tell tori that, yeah, this time he’d tag along as a pta chaperone for a fieldtrip, make some prime parents from hell jokes, yeah? all this time keeping himself a couple feet withdrawn, content to whilst away the maybes and somedays and now all he has to show for it is a sad kid and a journal telling him how lonely tori was.

he wasn’t much good for anything, but he’d had a chance to be a good friend. now that, like everything else, was gone.

he can’t meet the kid’s eyes. he knows he has some kinda responsibility here but. he’ll mess it up anyways, won’t he? he already is. he actually already has. he’s surprised Papyrus isn’t more messed up than he lets on.

he’s through the bedroom door almost before he’s made a decision, but he doesn’t step into the hallway of toriel’s house. instead he steps onto the clashing carpet of his and his bro’s second floor, the door behind him clicking shut. he stands there for a moment.

he guesses that it was time for the punchline to hit. it took such a long while, of course it was sure to be a knockout.

there’s nothing left to do, but slip into his room and clock out for the day.

he gets away with it for longer than he expected, honestly. and the wake up is far gentler than he expects.

“SANS?”

papyrus finally knocks on his door. it’s been… sans squints at the dark of his ceiling. well, it can’t have been too long, none of his bosses have called him, at least.

“SANS… MAY I COME IN?”

sans shifts his head to peak out at the door frame. everything’s dark so he’d be able to see if the frame was on. it’s not. he looks back at the ceiling. he hears Papyrus shifting as he waits for an invitation. sans knows he should say something but he can’t bring himself to. Papyrus finally settles against the door, sans can hear him slide down against it.

“I HAVE FINISHED PUTTING AWAY… EVERYTHING. EVEN THE MUGS. I ASKED IF YOU WANTED THEM ANYWHERE SPECIFIC BUT… YOU DIDN’T ANSWER. SO I PUT THEM IN THE CUPBOARD! THE ONE YOU CAN REACH. I HOPE THAT IS OKAY.”

that’s considerate of him.  sans should say so.

“I WILL TAKE YOUR SILENCE AS THE RINGING ENDORSEMENT I AM SURE IT IS. THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS NOT DISCOURAGED BY YOUR CONTINUED SILENCE AT ALL.”

sans stays silent.

“OF COURSE… IF YOU WERE TO BREAK YOUR SILENCE BY. PERHAPS. SPEAKING TO ME. OR EVEN MAKING SOME SORT OF SOUND ACKNOWLEDGING THAT YOU ARE, IN FACT, ALIVE IN THERE, IT WOULD NOT BE REMISS.”

that makes sans blink. oh right. yeah. right. he pushes himself up. he should say something but. but that still feels like too much. like if he said something it might. it might start something he can’t stop. he pats around for his phone.

he digs it out of one of his pockets. it’s still got a charge--thank you alphys--and it’s set to silent. there are some missed notifications but he ignores them to pull up papyrus’ contact. he composes a message. short, sweet, to the point: im awake

he hears the buzz of Papyrus’ phone.  

“OH-- OH GOOD. GOOD.”

his voice sounds shaky, relief in every octave. good going sans, brother of the year, there.

“FINALLY YOU BREAK YOUR LAZY STREAK! CONGRATULATIONS, BROTHER, YOU ARE ONE STEP CLOSER TO BREAKING YOUR SELF IMPOSED ISOLATION AND REUNITING WITH SOCIETY. I’M VERY PROUD OF YOU.”  the thing is, Papyrus doesn’t even sound sarcastic, because he is very proud of sans.

“YOU MISSED UNDYNE SUPLEXING ASGORE AFTER YOU. LEFT.” Papyrus offers in the silence sans let grow. “SHE KEPT TRYING TO SNEAK UP ON HIM AFTER THE FURNITURE WAS CLEARED.  ALPHYS HAS PICTURES. PROBABLY.”

“FRISK SPENT THE NIGHT TO HELP UNDYNE AND ALPHYS, WHICH THEY COULD DO BECAUSE THEY ARE ON A TEMPORARY BREAK FROM SCHOOL AND AS SUCH DOES NOT NEED TO GET UP EARLY AND BE CAREFULLY DELIVERED TO THE CAMPUS AS IS CUSTOMARY FOR A HUMAN THEIR AGE.”

despite everything, sans can tell Papyrus is trying to lead up to something. sans still cannot find his voice, but his brother is doing his best and what would sans be if he didn’t try, too? he rolls carefully onto the floor.

“I HAVE CONSIDERATELY RESEARCHED THE RULES AND REGULATIONS OF FRISK’S SCHOOL SYSTEM, AS A SELFLESS BOON BECAUSE THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS NOT ONLY THOUGHTFUL AND GENEROUS, HE IS PREPARED! IT WAS NOT BECAUSE I WAS TRYING TO DISTRACT MYSELF FROM. THINGS.”

sans stumbles in his fumbling steps to stand.

“I AM NOT SURE YOU ARE AWARE, BROTHER, BUT THERE ARE TWO SETS OF HOURS, REFLECTING EACH OTHER. THIS MEANS THERE IS A SEVEN IN THE MORNING AS WELL AS THE EVENING.  THOUGH THIS IS AN HOUR I SEE VERY OFTEN, AS A RESPONSIBLE MEMBER OF SOCIETY WITH A DEDICATION TO HIS JOB, IT IS ONE I KNOW YOU ARE UNACCUSTOMED TO ENTERTAINING. REGARDLESS… THIS IS THE HOUR  FRISK MUST BE UP TO START GETTING READY FOR THEIR SCHOOLING, IF THEY ARE TO MAKE IT ON TIME.”

Papyrus’ voice trills, the way it does when he starts up his monologues, settling into his speech. sans can almost see the way his hands gesticulate, gloves underlining the points in his words.

“AND OF COURSE THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL RELISH THE CHANCE TO TAKE OUR TINY HUMAN FRIEND TO SCHOOL ON THE WAY TO HIS IMPORTANT JOB! HOWEVER THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I MUST BE UP MUCH EARLIER THAN EVEN SEVEN IN THE MORNING, AND FRISK CANNOT BE EXPECTED TO MAKE THE LONG AND POTENTIALLY PERILOUS PATH THEMSELVES… “

here his hand would flutter, nervously, as if conjuring the next set of words he has to speak.

“AND, THOUGH APPARENTLY BREAKS ARE MANDATORY AND MUST BE TAKEN DESPITE A HEALTHY WORK ETHIC--” Papyrus audibly stops himself from going on a tangent. “--THERE IS NOT ONE LONG ENOUGH AT THE RIGHT TIME TO PICK THEM UP AFTER SCHOOL.”

“AND. THOUGH MY COOKING IS UNPARALLELED AND FILLED WITH PASSION, HUMANS NEED MORE THAN MAGIC TO KEEP THEIR GROSS HUMAN BITS RUNNING PROPERLY. AND HUMANS NEED A LOT OF SOCIAL INTERACTION, ESPECIALLY CHILDREN, IN THE FORM OF SUPERVISED ‘PLAY DATES' WHICH ARE NOT COVERED IN THE DATING MANUAL! “

“AND THERE IS A THING CALLED PTA? AND ONE MUST JOIN THE PTA IN ORDER TO FULFILL OPTIMUM GUARDIAN POTENTIAL AND THE GREAT PAPYRUS JUST DOES NOT HAVE TIME TO ATTEND EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES IF THEY DO NOT OCCUR BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 5PM AND 4AM, WHICH THE SCHOOL ASSURES ME THEY DO NOT! I CANNOT BELI--”

sans opens the door and Papyrus tumbles backward, falling onto the floor with a noise of surprise.

“what's a matter, bro? all this worrying is making you fall down.” the weight of the sentence hits sans all at once. “i mean, fall over-- uh, that's, sorry, that one was awful.”

“NYEH HEH HEH, SANS!” Papyrus laughs from the floor, giving sans a faint sense of unreality. Papyrus laughing at a terrible joke while sans looks down at him. things have been weird lately.

“stop laughing, bro, we really gotta get your funny bone checked out.”

“FORGIVE ME IF I ENJOY JAPES THAT REQUIRE A LITTLE MORE BACKBONE THAN YOU LIKE TO MAKE!”

sans shakes his head. this is one of those times he would choose to smile if he had a choice. his brother is really the best. even if his brother is working himself up for some reason.

“what’re you really upset about?” sans asks, letting his shoulder lean against the doorframe.

“I AM NOT UPSET! I JUST. WANT TO SUPPORT YOU IN THE THINGS YOU DECIDE TO DO.”

“support me?” sans crosses his arms. Papyrus gives him an incredulous look, like sans is the one acting topsy turvy today.

“I KNOW YOUR MEMORY GETS WEIRD WHEN YOU HAVE ONE OF THESE SAD NAPS. BUT YOU CANNOT FORGET YOUR COMMITMENT TO FRISK WHILE THEY CHOOSE IN WHICH DIRECTION THE REST OF THEIR LIFE WILL GO!”

“that’s exaggerating just a bit, bro.”

“YOU AND I BOTH KNOW IT IS NOT!”

sans shrugs. then sighs. “i think… i already messed this up.”

“BUT NOT IRREPARABLY, BROTHER. MISS TORI-- THE HOUSE IS PACKED UP NOW, AND FRISK CANNOT STAY THERE ANY LONGER. ASGORE HAS BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO, AND YOU ARE THEIR LEGAL GUARDIAN FOR NOW! SO THEY WILL BE RETURNING HERE. YOU CAN APOLOGIZE!” papyrus squints up at sans. “OR MAYBE PRETEND IT NEVER HAPPENED, BUT RESOLVE TO DO BETTER IN THE FUTURE!”

“ouch,”

“I’M ONLY SAYING THE TRUTH. YOU’RE VERY AVOIDANT. BUT EITHER WAY, I AM HERE TO SUPPORT YOU. OR. I WANT TO BE HERE TO SUPPORT YOU.”

“things would… have to change a lot, huh.”

Papyrus is not a monster that enjoys hiding his feelings, and so it’s very easy for sans to see the concern and doubt in his brother’s face as Papyrus leans back and stares up at him.  his brother radiates openness, an easy ear to listen to him, if either of them had ears.

“heh, have to start scheduling my naps again, huh.”

“YOU MAY HAVE TO EVEN QUIT ONE OF YOUR JOBS TO FIT THEM ALL IN!” papyrus is way too excited by that.

“yeah, heh.” he swallows. they can afford for him to drop a job or two, but doing so makes sans uneasy. sure he’d have more time off, Papyrus doesn’t need sans to provide a cushion anymore, and it’s been a long, long time since sans has needed to “figure something out” when bills started piling up in the mail.

“what if they decide to stay?” he asks, hunching inwards.

“THEN THESE CHANGES MAY BE PERMANENT FOR US! I CAN SUBMIT CHANGES TO MY AVAILABLE HOURS, SO YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING BY YOURSELF. AGAIN.”

“you love your job.”

“I WOULDN’T BE QUITTING SANS! IN FACT, I HAVE A SUSPICION THAT MY BOSS WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE IT IF I STOPPED CLOCKING IN ON THE WEEKENDS.”  Papyrus shakes his head wryly.

“okay, yeah, maybe you should stop doin that.” he crosses his arms and hisses air through his teeth. “i want to argue that you shouldn’t have to step in when i can’t uh, can’t do something myself, or by myself. but you’re being frustratingly good at cutting off my points of argument.”

“THANK YOU! I HAVE BEEN PRACTICING. YOU’RE VERY GOOD AT DEFLECTING AND I NEEDED TO STRENGTHEN MY OFFENSE IN RETALIATION.”

“you shouldn’t have to do that, i should just be able to talk about this without getting, heh, rattled.”

“AND WE ARE BACK TO THE LOWEST TIER OF HUMOR. BROTHER. ALL MY LIFE, YOU HAVE BEEN HELPING ME! ALONE! AND I WOULD BE DOING YOU A DISSERVICE IF I INSISTED I NEEDED TO ‘PAY YOU BACK’ FOR ALL THE YEARS YOU SUPPORTED ME. BUT, I WOULD LIKE THE CHANCE TO HELP YOU, TOO. I WOULD LIKE THE CHANCE TO DO THINGS. WITH YOU. AND FEEL LIKE I AM HELPING.”

“AND, I THINK I WOULD LIKE TO ‘PAY IT FORWARD’. I LIKE FRISK VERY MUCH, AND IF THEY CHOSE TO STAY WITH YOU--WITH US--THEN I THINK I WOULD LIKE LEARNING HOW TO TAKE CARE OF THEM AS WELL. I WOULD LIKE TO BE THERE FOR THEM, THE WAY YOU WERE THERE FOR ME.”  he doesn’t need to say “the way no one was there for you,” but sans can read it off his face easy enough.

he must make some sort of expression, because Papyrus finally sits up, kneeling so he can glare into sans’ face.

“YOU ARE THINKING ‘but Papyrus, I was terrible at raising you when I, myself, was a child and had no idea what I was doing’ BUT YOU ARE WRONG. AS PROOF: LOOK AT ME, I AM EXCELLING AT LIFE!” Papyrus gestures at the whole of himself, smiling broadly. sans laughs half-heartedly.

“you are pretty great, bro. but you deserved a better life than what i could give you. frisk deserves a better one, too. and they had tori-- uh. they had tori. there’s no way i can live up to her. i don’t know why she named me anyways, unless it was a joke.” it’s a joke sans would laugh at, too, in any other situation.

“SANS.” Papyrus actually puts his hands on sans’ shoulders and gives him a shake, the frustration welling up in him. “I DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY DIFFERENT WAYS THAT I CAN PUT IT. BUT! YOU! DID THE BEST THAT YOU COULD! AND YOU WILL DO THE BEST THAT YOU CAN IF FRISK DECIDES TO STAY WITH US! I KNOW YOU ENJOY PRETENDING TO BE LAZY AND ACTING LIKE YOU DON’T EXPEND ANY EFFORT. BUT SOMETIMES IT SEEMS LIKE YOU BELIEVE IT, AND I CANNOT STAND THAT.”

“YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE PERFECT, YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH SANS! TORIEL CHOSE YOU, INSTEAD OF ANYONE ELSE, BECAUSE SHE KNEW THIS! AND SHE HAD EYES! SHE COULD SEE HOW MUCH EFFORT YOU PUT INTO FRISK, EVEN AS JUST A FAMILY FRIEND! IT WAS NOT A JOKE. YOUR LIFE ISN’T A JOKE, SANS. YOU’RE MUCH BETTER AT THINGS THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE, AND IF YOU CANNOT BELIEVE IT, THEN I WILL BE RIGHT HERE TO CONTINUE TELLING YOU.”

‘“aw, geeze, pap.”

“AND,” Papyrus looks to the side, shifty eyed, “IF YOU CANNOT BELIEVE ME--”

“hey, no, pap--”

“YOU SHOULD READ THIS.” Papyrus pulls out the same book that startled sans into running away in the first place. it’s plain cover unassuming in papyrus’ gloved palm.

“Papyrus…”

“YOU DO NOT HAVE TO KEEP IT, BUT YOU SHOULD READ IT. WHEN YOU CAN. SANS, I KNOW TORIEL MEANT A LOT TO YOU. THOUGH YOU TRY TO HIDE IT? FOR SOME REASON? I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY, BUT IT’S VERY HARD TO PRETEND YOU DO NOT LIKE HER WHEN YOU ACTUALLY PICK UP THE PHONE WHEN SHE CALLS, OR DITCH YOUR EVENING NAP TO SLEEP ON HER COUCH AND EAT HER FOOD OR-- OH,”

Papyrus stops in the middle of his rant. sans’ shoulders are shaking. sans doesn’t know when that started, this whole conversation makes him want to crawl back into the depression on his mattress.

“I’M SORRY.” Papyrus sets the journal down. “I FORGOT, I’M SORRY.” he carefully puts his arms around sans’ shoulders, like any pressure will make crush sans. after a second, papyrus pulls sans closer, and makes the loose cradle into a real hug. “IT’S OKAY, SANS, IT REALLY IS.”

sans’ face is pressed against the fabric of Papyrus’ shoulder. Papyrus’ arms are locked around sans like, like something sturdy and lasting. something safe. and despite that cold feeling in his chest, the ice that crawls up his spine when he stops to think about anything, the purple karma that drips from his hands when he looks at them. despite everything, in this one moment, he thinks maybe Papyrus is right. maybe it’s okay.

sans, for the first time in, stars, years, starts to cry.

it’s not that sans is trying to ignore the apology he owes, or that he’s trying to prove Papyrus right. it’s just that he needs to figure himself out, and do it in a very compressed time. so while Papyrus puts together a quick lunch, and takes the kid out (for more icecream) and comes back with increasingly exasperated but still supportive side-eyes and pointed remarks about the living room and emotional depth, sans hides in the basement.

there’s a photo album sans keeps there, with some other things that he likes to avoid direct contact with. he hasn’t actually opened the album in years, but he can’t just throw it away. even if just because it’s not only his, but papyrus’ too. what if twenty years in the future, indeed.

sans knows he has issues. he can even trace why he acts like that for a good number of those issues. he didn’t have the chance to be a picky eater as a kid, so now he’s just a garbage disposal. he got in the habit of scrimping so he could make the bills, and even though he’s got a safety net now, it’s a habit he’s unwilling to break.

some of them are harder for him to place--he like making people laugh, to the point that he knows he can be obnoxious or will have to work harder at being taken serious. maybe making jokes is easier than honest emotional labor (true). maybe making people laugh is the fastest way to take control of a situation (true)--but he can conjure up a guess or two.  

sometimes, he just. doesn’t know, and thinking about it doesn’t really help--sometimes he’ll order something online, only to get it twice even though he’s pretty sure he only got it once. he only ordered one of them, he should return the second, but he’s always so certain it’ll take care of itself. why would it take care of itself? it’s not like his purchases and bank account get reset after a week--so he doesn’t think about it.

so. grieving. it’s not something he has practice with, not for lack of opportunity. it’s why he has a photo album collecting dust in his basement. it’s why even Papyrus doesn’t say much about their past when anyone inquires about the skeleton brothers. it’s why he’s avoiding the child of a deer friend.

oh, she would’ve like that one.

but he was right, earlier. papyrus deserved a better life than the one sans managed to cobble together, no matter what papyrus has to say about it now. and frisk also deserves better than a bag of bones too bitter, too scared to figure out how to open up a little.

he was also right, in that frisk should still get to choose.

“SANS?” papyrus calls down the basement stairs.

“yeah?”

“TIME FOR DINNER?”

“are you asking me?”

“OF COURSE NOT, I AM ANNOUNCING THAT IT IS TIME FOR DINNER! FRISK IS SETTING THE TABLE, PLEASE COME UP, I DO NOT WANT OUR MEAL TO GET COLD!”

sans smiles from the dinner table, winking at frisk when they turn to set a plate down and sees him.

“bro, we’re waiting on you now.”

Papyrus whirls around at the sound of sans’ voice, eyebrows comically raised for someone who has been living with sans their whole lives. he gathers himself expertly and stomps his foot, seamlessly falling back into their familiar, comfortable roles.

“SANS YOU LAZYBONES! YOU COULD HAVE WALKED UP THE STAIRS!”

“but i didn’t wanna miss your spescapula cooking!”

“SANS! YOU KNOW MY COOKING IS WORTH MORE THAN AN EASY PUN!”

“you’re right bro, didn’t mean to punsult you.”

“THAT WAS EVEN WORSE!!”

“you’re smiling anyways.” sans settles back into his chair.

“I AM! AND! I HATE IT!”

there’s a clatter of utensils, as frisk kneels on their seat to serve themself, and sans takes the serving spoon from frisk’s hands before papyrus can, motioning them to push their plate closer. “don’t worry kid, i got you.”

frisk doesn’t hesitate to let him dump a spoonful of mash potatoes on their plate, and doesn’t object when sans’ grin turns mischievous. he adds another spoonful, and another. and another. and another.

“SANS!”

“what, you gonna deny the kid a well balanced dinner?” he asks. frisk looks delighted at the slightly leaning tower of potatoes stuck to their plate. Papyrus’ shriek of frustration makes something loosen in sans’ rib cage.

frisk is a good, even tempered kiddo. there’s no comparing them to papyrus at that age. but the guilt that settles behind his jaw when he thinks of them is the same sort that fills him up with he thinks about his brother’s babybone era.

the kid is staying in Papyrus’ room for the moment, and sans lingers in the doorway. only a little bit creepily. he grips the book in his hand. maybe this is a bad idea. sans should just let frisk get to sleep. they got a lot going on, he doesn’t need to interrupt them.

he takes a step back towards the staircase. then sidles back to the door. he’s let things go long enough already, though. it doesn’t matter how unruffled the kid acts, sans knows they feel bad about how he acted back at tori’s. and whether they already have forgiven him or not, he needs to let them know it’s not their fault. that he’s the one who is sorry and needs to make up for it.

it reminds him sharply, of being young and confused but determined, facing the door papyrus insisted on slamming in his face because SHUTTING A DOOR IS A PHYSICAL PUNCTUATION MARK SANS, AND THIS ONE IS AN EXCLAMATION!  and having no idea what went wrong or how to fix it, but knowing he couldn’t let this one lie.

the door opens.

“ah, sorry, i--ah geeze really?” frisk looks tiredly up at him. okay, so he forgot they could see his shadow under the door frame. that’s only mildly embarassing.

“did you… want a bedtime story?” he asks. they step away from the door. “yeah, course i have time, kiddo. i wouldn’t offer if there was anything i’d rather be doin.”

he follows them inside, and though he can tell they are trying to be even keeled, the speed they use to jump back into Papyrus’ bed makes it clear they’re excited about this.  he follows at a more sedate pace, thinking over his decision. he could always dig out Fluffy Bunny instead, that’s a classic. but, that wouldn’t mean the same thing. he’s gotta show his hand.

“alright,” he says, settling himself onto the bed with frisk. “let me know if you want a different book, but i thought you might like this one.” he pulls turns the cover so frisk can see.

“99 snail facts.” a sharp noise escapes frisk, but they don’t protest. sans lets himself smooth their hair over before opening the book.

“number 99, snails have tongues covered in hundreds of little teeth. okay, that’s, terrifying.” frisk laughs. “yeah i guess it works like a chainsaw? or a file. look here’s a diagram.” he flips the book to show frisk, who nods at the picture. “figure a, the radula, with rows of teeth. wow, didn’t know snails were so rad. number 98, snails are part of a group called gastropod molluscs that means, uh, soft stomach foot-- hey, i resemble that remark, heh.”

he pages through the book with frisk, and if either of them get misty eyed about it. well, at least they can wipe each other’s tears.  he pats frisk’s head one last time, before hopping off the bed and turning out the light for them to sleep.

papyrus is waiting for him downstairs, still settled on the couch. he turns to stare as sans makes his way over, scooting to the side so sans can flop onto the couch. sans’ face still has residue on it from story, and he scrubs it against the couch fibres. Papyrus doesn’t protest.

“what’s it, paps?” he mumbles into the cushion.

“FIRST, I’M PROUD OF YOU FOR OPENING UP TO FRISK!”

“thanks?”

“SECOND: IS EMOTIONALLY HEAVY READING MATERIAL THE THEME WITH YOU RECENTLY?”

“oh,” papyrus is holding the album. “didn’t think you’d find that so fast.”

“IT WAS ON THE TABLE. YOU DIDN’T EVEN HIDE IT IN A JOKE BOOK. I MEAN, IF YOU AREN’T READY AFTER ALL--”

“nah, pap, if i weren’t ready, it’d still be collecting dust downstairs.”

“... ARE YOU SURE?”

sans sits up and turns to face papyrus. his brother looks nervous, with an undercurrent of excitement and worry. this is something sans should’ve done a long time ago. instead of dwelling on the guilt he lets himself fall against his brother’s side, grabbing for the photo album. Papyrus gives it to him, and he opens the cover.

there’s an oval frame, and in that frame is a washed out photo of papyrus’ baby face, mouth open in what sans’ is sure was a ear-piercing shriek. there’s a blurry skeletal hand in the frame, like the suddenness of papyrus’ yell made someone jerk across the camera. below the portrait papyrus 19XX? is written sans’ handwriting. he tilts the page towards papyrus, who reaches out and flips it.

“WHO’S THAT?”

sans runs a finger across the old photo. something sharp twists behind his sternum, the same thing as always. the thing that makes him want to throw away all these mementos and forget they ever mattered to him because if he doesn’t, he’s afraid his soul is going to shatter. but he’s been hiding for way too long now.

maybe it’s time sans admits he deserves something better, too. he looks at papyrus’ curious face. he taps his finger against the photo.

“that was the royal scientist.”

“WHAT’S A ROYAL SCIENTIST AND WHY ARE THEY IN OUR PHOTO ALBUM?”

“oh yeah, the dreemur family used to be, like, filthy rich back in the day. so everyone would call ‘em the monster nation’s royal family. pretty sure they were actually a royal family at some point. anyway, he got that nickname ‘cause the dreemurs liked sponsoring his pet projects.”

for some reason, with papyrus’ bones digging into his side, sans felt the prickling sensation of ice start melting off his back. Papyrus passes him a ceramic mug as he settles into the story.

tomorrow the kid might decide they’re better off living with asgore. or they might decide they like living with sans and papyrus better. sans might freak out again, or he might be able to wait until he’s not gonna scar the kid for life again. either way, he’s making sure they know they’ve got options, and that he (and papyrus and asgore and all their friends) are behind them 100 percent.

but until then, he’s got this. his brother, these photos, a mug with a lame pun, and the warm feeling that he might actually be doing something right for once.

#i dont have a pun for writing #undertale #sans #frisk #papyrus #sanscentric #this is for you anon [blows kiss] #sorry about the formatting i cannot be arsed to type correctly ever #this wasnt supposed to get so long :/ #this is incredibly self indulgent sorry

[aarafox]

hey hey tell me abt ur softest boys

mY SOFTEST BOYS!!! Thanks for asking Itsy ♥️♥️

I have a few soft boys, but the Softest is by far Brenden 👌🏻 in my head I always compare him to a fluffy bear; he has the magical power of Sounds which gives him not only the ability to destroy ears but also make wonderful music! His best subject is music as well, and he single-handedly created the entire big performance that their training group performs at the Rainy Feast. He has a crush on Emilaya, which is of course a problem because she at some point falls in love with Robin 😭 after that, he falls in love with the softest girl of the group so that’s a good match! He has an ending which makes you say “he did not deserve this” I am so sorry Brenden 😞

Then the second soft boy is Yoni!! He is what we call Pure™. He has the magical power of Barriers which already makes him Good! He’s extremely friendly and everyone likes him?? He’s also BEAUTIFUL AF but he doesn’t realise it (which makes people like him even more). He’s Robin’s best friend and also one of Emilaya’s best friends 👌🏻 somewhere close to the beginning of the story, he gets together with the third soft boy, Stanlo! It was great because Yoni did already like him from the start but fell in love when he noticed that Stanlo was flirting with him. Bc he is so pretty and good, everyone is always a bit shy to show their interest in him but Stanlo did show it and made Yoni love him for it. They really like each other and are together all the time and flirt in public which is great. One of the first times they appear in the same scene Emily describes them as “Stanlo was flirting with Yoni like usual” and that’s basically them for 100%. There’s one difficult moment in their love life but not because they’re fighting but because of other circumstances. They manage to get through it tho and are happy together forever. Also Yoni has a great and important role at the end during the Big Fight, in which he protects about 300 people at the same time (who need protection because of a special job they got and must not get in danger at all costs), and he’s one of my fave characters!!!!!

So, soft boy Stanlo! He is a bit less soft than the other soft boys but can still be considered a soft boy 👌🏻 he has the magical power of Electricity and likes getting himself hit by lightning lol (it doesn’t kill him). He also really likes drinking and becomes a huge flirty drunk but only towards Yoni which Yoni pretends to dislike but he loves it really. He also really loves his best friend Brenden and they’ve known each other since they were smol babbies. They have lots of fun together and sit in front of Bellány and Emilaya in one of their classes, so good times ensue! He’s the one to fall in love with Yoni first but he immediately goes for it - he doesn’t think Yoni will fall in love with him or anything but since he likes Yoni he just tries to be with him and flirt with him as much as he can - aND IT WORKS! Stanlo low key doesn’t understand how someone as great as Yoni could love him but he accepts it and they become a great couple; it also appears that their magic is compatible and they can create electrifying barriers which keep everyone even safer!

Then another of my fave soft boys (I have lots of soft boys I like soft boys), actually my all time fave: Robin! He has the magical power of Physical Energy, which allows him to control not only his own energy extremely well but also others. He uses it for good purposes tho~ and of course he becomes Emilaya’s Chrystal! (A Chrystal is a lover in Elunian terms) The first time they meet is when he and his family move into a tree in the same street as where Emilaya lives, and Emilaya just got back from another dimension and is exhausted, sitting in the middle of the street at midnight. Robin is immediately curious and starts talking to her. The thing with Robin is that he’s just so much FUN. He is one of the first to make Emilaya laugh at a time when she’s frustrated as shit. His smile is amazing and he can be so cute; he also blushes a lot lol and his eyes shine like stars. Besides that he’s fun, he’s also ridiculously kind and sweet. He always becomes a bit mad when Emilaya hurt herself because she’s too precious to him, and Emilaya always laughs and then tells him how sweet he is. Idk, he’s the kind of guy I would love to meet in real life but haven’t seen very often. Also he looks like Link 😂 but he’s definitely soft in terms of his capability to love. He loves Emilaya so much that he gives her the so called Soul Bliss, when you bless someone’s soul; when one receives a completely honest Soul Bliss, they get the most wonderful feeling they’ve ever felt - and that’s what happens when he gives it to Emilaya! They also share the same humour and he loves joking around with her. But he also cares for her so much it’s troublesome lol. Ahh I love him.

A boy who’s also soft is Robin’s little brother Piag. He has the magical power of Feelings which makes it already impossible for him to be anything but soft 😂 it’s more a passive power than an active one: he can’t control others’ feelings but he can feel them like his own and help them get better; he also wants to go into Healing, at the department of Mental Healing. 50% of the time he and Robin annoy the shit out of each other and 50% of the time they care for each other so much it’s problematic. When the evil fellows (Yukaï) who invade their planet attacked for the first time, Robin immediately grows worried because the bad feelings that are inside those creatures, affect Piag more than anyone. And when Piag falls in love with the first Yukai-boy to possess Elunian features (Miu, the last soft boy), Robin worries too because Miu’s bad feelings can affect Piag. And when Robin leaves Sinalópolis (the capital in which they live) to go to his friends in the town they moved from, Piag is upset that Robin leaves him. As I said, they annoy each other 50% of the time and love each other the other 50% :D. Piag is mostly considered cute, though he doesn’t like hearing it. The only one who he doesn’t hate hearing it from is Miu xD Piag also really loves reading and is okay with sticking to himself a bit because constantly feeling everyone’s feelings can be exhausting af. I love Piag!!! He is born in the same Sphere as Emilaya :D Piag and Emilaya also have mutual fondness for each other 👌🏻

Then the last soft boy! Sorry this has become such a long post… 😭 but the last soft boy is Miu, and also one of my fave characters ever! He was born a Yukai with Elunian features, which makes him an outcast and he gets repudiated by the other Yukaï. He is the one that saves Emilaya from imprisonment and therefore saves her life. Emilaya in return makes every Neflora who fights in the Big Fight watch out for any children that are the same as Miu, and they save more than 30 like him and take them in in their society. Because Miu is the first born Yukai to contain both Yukai features and Neflora features, he also has both feelings inside of him: dark feelings like fear and sadness and good feelings like happiness and love. This is what attracts Piag so much to him. His feelings can shift within a second and at first Piag is just curious. But soon he develops true feelings of love for Miu. Piag helped during the Big Fight to search for children who had both good and bad feelings inside them and helped save a lot of them! Miu already appreciates Piag for that, but when Piag reluctantly closes the distance between them, he feels curiosity in return. Piag talks to him about things he doesn’t really understand but wants to know more about, and when Piag tells him about the concept of being in love, Miu feels only positive feelings (this is when Piag confesses to him). Miu of course can’t immediately give a response in return because he doesn’t know what love is, but as Miu grows, his capability to love - which is an important feature in the world of Neflora - grows as well and he becomes able to fall in love with Piag. Since Miu, Piag has never loved anyone else so he’s so so happy! The first few years (Orbits) of their relationship is mostly Miu becoming more able to love and Piag falling in love harder lmao. Some moments are difficult because Miu sometimes suffers from panic attacks or strange waves of sadness that Piag feels as his own (it’s like there’s a war between good and bad going on within Miu #Zukoreference) (which is what Robin becomes worried about) but Piag still can’t stop himself from loving Miu and they get through it. I’m starting to think of different scenes between the two because I’m so excited about writing about them!! One of the important abilities of a Neflora is the ability to give their own “Kinameli”, their “heart of my love” to the person they love, which happens when they give each other the Body’s Gift (in other words when they’re gonna have sex). This is an important moment in Miu’s development, because when Piag gives him his Kinameli, Miu tries to give it back, but his Kinameli appears for a short second and then fades out again. This makes Miu so sad that Piag decides to give him his Kinameli anyway, and their first time is pretty good even though Miu couldn’t give Piag his Kinameli. After a while, Miu’s ability to love has grown to such an extend that he can bring his Kinameli out as well, and then their relationship improves even further 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

Soooo, I guess those are my soft boys!! This became so long 😩 I’m so sorry haha I completely understand if you don’t feel like reading it all :’) but thanks so much for asking I had so much fun writing about my boys ♥️

#MY BOYS #soft boys #Story Talk #!!!! #bitsynoya #Dorigens askbox

[earthdeep]

so I actually finished fe echoes shadows of valentia after *checks back through blog* about one and a half years. or rather, I got totally fed up on my first playthrough and restarted a few days ago bc I was sick of having it semi-complete. I have Thoughts so... under the cut

might as well get the technical stuff out the way. 

loved the artstyle. but the ui fucking sucked. all the important numbers and stuff is WAAAAAY too small to make room for character portraits and the layout of a lot of options is just... weird. oh and there’s no way to look at a zoomed out map and it’s a pain in the arse when I just wanna check where the fucking enemies are.

combat system is... definitely interesting for a fire emblem game. I enjoyed it overall, but it felt a bit lopsided. no weapon durability (yay), no weapon triangle (eh), magic users learn spells in character specific orders (hm), 90% of bow using enemies can’t do shit against fliers (wtf?), absurdly high crit rates (ugh)... lance users ended up near useless by endgame. I had a single one who could hit hard enough to take down an act 5 enemy, and he was too slow to chase them. meanwhile I could keep my archers back way out of enemies’ range and crit them, or field my many mages who could do massive damage AND heal each other constantly. srsly, all hail our lady and saviour delthea, who by the final boss had 30 atk and could oneshot almost every enemy with her lowest level spell. she is the best, and I love her very much.

there was a lot of other fidgety stuff especially on the overworld that really got on my nerves after a while. I’ve never been fond of the point hopping system that’s fairly common in tactical rpgs, but echoes has the infuriating variation that forces u to fight every respawning enemy u cross. fuck those graveyards. fuck them to hell. especially fuck them when I have to pass them so often to complete sidequests in the villages and such. but at least dungeon exploring is still fun. well, I say that, and it leads into another bother.

fates, the previous fe game, did a lot to improve the experience of casual players such as myself. the protagonist being allowed to fall in battle without an insta game over, for example. phoenix mode was nice for replays too, tho since echoes was preeeeetty linear that’s a moot point for me. echoes decides no, actually, fuck that, and also fuck the battle saves introduced in awakening. ur gonna work through duma’s tower for an hour with no way to save and reload and if one of the ten million enemies in there knocks down celica ur losing all ur progress without even a chance to use the in-universe save scum device. bc fuck u.

incidentally, duma’s tower is where I quit during my first playthrough.

buuuuuuuut there’s more to games than mechanics. there’s story too! and... hoo boy. there’s two major sticking points for me that ultimately make it a disappointment. spoilers ahead for literally the entire game.

number one: the broken aesop of alm’s arc. ie, fernand was right.

so, fire emblem games have a lot of birth destiny and divine rights to rule and all that jazz. while it can be just a background fact of life (awakening and imo path of radiance fell into this) or a major problem that causes protagonist centred morality out the whazoo (Y HALLO THAR FATES’ CONQUEST ROUTE), echoes tries to go a different route, especially in the first act. alm butts up against those who don’t think he should be allowed to be a knight, let alone lead an army bc he’s of common birth. even those on his side (*cough*clive) struggle to hold noble and common life of equal worth. but here’s alm, the poster child of destiny caring not for trivialities such as parentage. he’s a good fighter and a good leader, and proves that even a commoner can become a hero!

except they can’t. alm isn’t a commoner. he’s a prince. he could never vanquish duma if he hadn’t noble blood in his veins, bc the falchion is locked in a vault only royals can enter, and is a sword only he can wield. were he truly a commoner, he would have failed. and all this would’ve been easily forgotten fridge logic if the characters hadn’t kept bringing the even a commoner bs all the way with them until he found out who his dad was! fernand, the primary voice for this shit, doesn’t die until after seeing alm revealed!

frankly, alm being a lost prince was purely a detriment to the story. oh no, he killed his dad? who fucking cares. blood is the only thing they share. I’ve seen this dude like twice before I cheesed his ass by warping my best units up to his section of wall and zapping him. half his dialogue is only available post-patricide. alm had more of a connection to Asshole Cousin Berkut that to him. also, his plan for preparing for the end of the world as is stood was one of the worst I’ve ever seen.

but there’s also a more fun point. number two: the straight agenda!

ugggggh. listen. on my first round through, I joked a lot abt all the unrequited love going around. and honestly there’s quite a lot of interactions that I found genuinely nice. faye and leon being open about their feelings and accepting they aren’t requited, and alm and valbar being honest and comfortable with that. or delthea mentioning her crush on clive to his sister and having mathilda immediately pointed out. or like, clive and mathilda’s entire relationship during the game. I like me a lovey dovey battle couple.

but then the epilogue slides hit. why the fuck would mathilda become a Good Housewife(TM) after marrying a man who encouraged her as they fought alongside each other. delthea gets the same treatment and settles down with an unnamed husband and becomes “normal” in her slide. then u have mae and boey who get married and have children and argue AND THAT IS IT. like guys, I like me some rivals to lovers as much as the next lesbian, but u can’t be said to have kids that give u more reasons to fight and have me believe this is any way healthy. please find a replacement for celica bc u do NOT work together on ur own. *sigh* at least clair and gray have a nice marriage where they’re both free to be themselves. in my game anyway, idk if she hooks up with tobin if they get higher support, but when he’s an archer and she’s a frontline fighter, they never had a chance.

and then there’s alm and celica.

I could’ve liked alm. I really could. while his base is still Default Fantasy Hero, I like his comments when u examine things, I like that he has the nerve to stand up to clive when he’s on his bullshit. but dude. u met ur fake cousin celica briefly when u were kids, got along well, then obsessed abt her for like a decade. get. over. it.

same to u celica. u were fucked in my eyes from the beginning bc I find devout characters actively dull, but come on. u made a friend who had a birthmark like urs. as far as ur concerned, that’s all. stop reading the script and try learning the politics of running that kingdom ur set to inherit.

beyond the “alm...” “celica...” wistful calls, and the forces of destiny/the writers, I could not tell u what draws these characters together. the one time they’re not staring into the middle distance at each other, they’re in a petty fight that makes celica look like a spoiled child (and keeps her there until after she sells her fucking soul to the shadiest guy in the fucking universe? celica. celica cmon.) like why do these people like each other. with as much as destiny pulled them together rather than human connection, they may as well have been siblings instead.

on my first run, I genuinely thought that was where they were headed. I got given “alm can lift royal sword” and “celica ‘lost’ brother in fire” and put together that OH! they’re brother and sister! like mila and duma! bc it’s history repeating itself! and then conrad showed up and I was confused. also, iirc alm genuinely believed celica was a cousin of his while they were interacting as kids and didn’t learn she was just in Fantasy Witness Protection until later, so for that to turn into poorly telegraphed romance is just... ew.

anyway. at least most of the characters were good. can’t even pick a favourite tbh. I like clair a lot, and tobin and gray. mae and delthea are both fun and adorable. the valbar/leon/kamui trio are great and chill dudes. I even like silque despite being the nun type, bc she just tries so hard and I appreciate that. oh and sonya’s very lovely with genny and DESERVED BETTER THAN BECOMING A LITERAL SOULLESS HUSK IN THE EPILOGUE AS SHE TRIES TO HELP OTHERS, FUCK U ECHOES.

also there are definite immersion hiccups. oh, the land’s barren and we’re facing famine, huh? *stares at trees full of oranges* *stares at wells full of water* *stares at baskets full of fish* *stares at inventory full of meat and vegetables* *stares at knife that can produce food if I kill an enemy with it...*

wait. I turned a lot of enemies into food with that knife. like my inventory for celica’s army filled up with it. was... was I eating people the whole time?! D:

anyway, fe15, 7.5/10 too much swamp

#I'm warning u this is a long one #earthdeep does life #ire femblem

[this-isadiary]

okay last time i updated you

I was getting over Darrius. That didn’t take long bc it was obvi from the start that we only ever wanted sex from one another but a lot has been going on since I last gave you the juice. I hit up AJ bc he’s my go to rebound for every failed relationship i have with a guy i fell too hard and too fast for and his consistency is attractive; as is his massive dick. ANyway tell me how I hit him up trying to plan something for the near distant future and he says he can’t bc too short notice but when i told him i’ve been at work and I’m off at 10 pm and home by 1030 he still wants to come over. I honestly wasn’t feeling the vibe but it was what i asked for and i was getting it and i decided i would also be taking it. the thing is he was late and dexter was sleeping in my room now and i knew dex would not fuck w anyone climbing in through my window which was my only option and i told AJ that. I even warned him about my dogs in my room but he still was in so I was too. I avoided having dex in my room that night and I think that made the tenants suspicious but i said fuck it and kept it going. AJ kept me up until like 1230 when we planned on 11 but he was going to smoke me out and then sleep through the night with me so i didn’t sweat it. I should have. Mom knew I was up to something and she made a point of figuring it out. AJ was only in my room for about two minutes before I got a knock on my bedroom door. Mom wanted me to open the door so I could tell her why my window screen was out. I told her I was fucking with it in case she wouldn’t let me in past curfew again. She almost bought it but my hand flinched towards the door and she came barging through to find AJ hiding in my closet. So that night or morning i guess, I was told I have no respect for myself or the people around me so I need to gtfo. The next day I went to work and started packing my things. I spent a night at char’s before jordon helped me move all my shit into his den. About a month and a half tyler moved back into Alli’s apartment and I soon moved into the spare bedroom. I bought a few bedroom furniture pieces off tyler for $50 and spent two weeks sleeping on and incredibly uncomfortable (broken) futon before I purchased a bed frame and matching dresser (WITH A MIRROR) for $250? I very happy with that purchase. Terry took me to Sam’s Club and bought me a brand new box spring and mattress. I’m still paying him back for it but it was only about $530 and I’ll have it paid off soon enough. All these moving in expenses drained my car savings but also really put into perspective how badly i needed to work on my budgeting. It’s better nowadays but there is still plenty of room to grow. I’m going to hate paying car insurance. I’ve made a few more grand purchases since my bed but they weren’t for me. I’m splurging on bday gifts for my favorite taurus’s bc they have been the best friends you could ask for in my kind of time of need. Especially jordon. I know I can be a handful sometimes and I lowkey pity him for having to deal with me and my bullshit but I’ve already spent at least $140 on him in gifts alone and I haven’t even thought about how much it’s going to be to go bar hopping on his 21st with him. I hope we document it well. I’ll also be making jungle juice for char’s bday and she wants to have a boat party in st.petersburg for her 22nd. That plus i already spent like $20 on a dinky gift for her. You can’t put a price on friendship but for Tyler I’ve only got him a tshirt bc jordon decided he was going to take my second prezzie idea for ty’s 21st but  i’ll let him have it bc i know ty will be happy and i won’t have to buy it haha. 

But enough about my beloved friends. I want to talk about all the sex I’m having. AJ came to my new spot when I was still sleeping on an air mattress but he still didn’t stay the night because if he did we would have popped the damn thing. I’m not sure what kind of energy i was sending him but he stopped hitting my back and  I had other shit to worry about so when I got horny I just rang my next booty call. It sounds horrible but that’s what it’s always been with Q and I. I sucked Q off in the florida room and then fell asleep on the sectional with him. It was a really sweet night and I honestly still think that if we were both cured of our mental illnesses or at least just of our depression; that we might have a chance at being a really strong couple. He makes me feel like my problems are minor when they normally feel like the biggest fucking deal. He stopped answering my snaps soon after that so I let it go and focused on making money for a hot minute. And in case you were wondering; which I know you weren’t; yes; I did try to be friends who fuck with Darrius but I wanted to entertain the idea that we just needed time apart to grow as independent humans and later in the future we could get back together after we solve all our problems and I thought that we could pull that off while fucking exclusively but I always knew in the back of my head that i was just trying to fool myself. He was only on board with the sex and i’m not gonna lie, I thoroughly enjoyed riding his dick , but i couldn’t do it anymore. I romanticize meaningless sex all too often. As I came across this revelation, Char had been encouraging me to make amends with Evans and although the whole time I kept calling him a bitch, after about two weeks, I did end up having him over to talk shit out. The first time it was quick and angsty but he accepted the idea that we do that kind of shit more often. One time I had the day off and I invited him over to skate with me in the back and he spent the whole day with me. I didn’t expect that of him at the time and i found it admirable. Tyler came home with jordon that night and Evans joined us for some beers and a couple games of zombies and I that time I was ready to make out with him. He totally won over the boys because we are all basically the same person and for whatever reason the comradery made me think I might get involved with him again. So, you already know that’s exactly what I did; multiple times, over multiple nights, until the boys brought to my attention that I actually don’t want that at all. Let it be clear that it’s always been in my interest to stopping fucking Evans but the vag wants what the vag wants and no that’s not a real excuse for fucking my ex. I simply don’t have one. By the time I decided I would stop fucking w guys who don’t respect me I found myself at the annual frat party Sarah likes to dress up for and go to. This year I was ready to get fucked up and party hard and maybe get some dick while i’m at it. I wore something hot and slapped some shit on my face and got wasted at a party I was getting too old for. The night wasn’t complete shit though. We were in line for drinks with Sarah’s coworkers when I spotted one of the few and thus, the hottest, black guy at the function. I was told he was the plug but assumed that was just Sarah being accidentally racist because she does that sometimes. Well turns out she was correct. At the end of the party I found him and decided I was gonna ask for his snap and when i did he assumed it was for tree so I said yes. The very next night he came over and smoked me out. His name is Greg and he is a student athlete chem major from west palm who just joined that frat. He has huge arms and his chest is like a pillow. I feel like I could learn some people skills from him because he’s so polite and considerate to the point where I want him to fuck my face at least every two hours. I have this new kink where I want to swallow cum all the time and it is an exhausting new trade. Anyway I told him to keep in touch but he has a full time job in west palm and a huge friends group support system and he’s even in school over there too. I get the feeling we could be a decent couple but I’m more worried that I’ll distract him from success because I just want to gag on his dick all the time. I hope i still feel that way towards him when he comes back to orlando for school but only time will tell. Right now my focus is shifted on AJ again because he always comes back and I always am surprised that I can still pull an 8.5 like him on my worst day. Like he’s definitely a diamond in the rough because he can’t read me all that well but he seems to have pure intentions. I just have to avoid reading his retweets because he acts like a douche sometimes. Anyway now you’re all caught up.ttyl

#briupdates