#anyways i mean it when i say my brain wouldn't rest until i whipped my pencil out n started drawing

[ghosting-fox]

you all know that audio from bladerunner? "you look lonely i can fix that"?? my brain wouldn't let me rest until i haven't drawn that with Sun n Moon

but jokes aside, really self-indulgent comic bc both Security Breach and Ruin came out when i was at a low point mentally and helped me greatly just be able to move forward and get through each day (and i won't even be getting into how much these 2 fictional robot jesters have helped me refind my passion for drawing)

i really hope that more people can relate to this :))

#anyways i mean it when i say my brain wouldn't rest until i whipped my pencil out n started drawing #tbh i stumbled upon the audio waaay back like 5-6 months ago?? #but just now like literally just now i though #damn that REALLY fits Sun n Moon #i think it might be bc this semester was really stressful for me #and this last month has been hell #i was honestly drained physically and mentally #but i managed to go through each day and move forward #n just when my whole energy was running out n just when i had a couple of days left where i had to work more than my body could carry #right then Ruin came out and it was like;; really a breath of fresh air #my brain was suddenly thinking about the lore and theories and not anymore stressing abt projects and exams #while i still had to work Ruin gave me a push to be able to finish what i had to do #now i'm taking a small 2 week break where i'm gonna go easier with uni work and letting my body heal itself :)) #but anyways enough rambling n everything #i really hope more of y'all can relate to this comic :)) #now onto the tags #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf superstar daycare #sundrop #moondrop #fnaf sun #fnaf moon #moondrop x y/n #sundrop x y/n #tw eye contact #doodles #traditional doodle #comic #Ghost doodles

[cumholland]

Neighbors Part 2

Chapter Two - Designed for You

(Tom Holland x Reader)

a/n: Thank you so much to everyone who loved the first chapter and asked for a second one! Also thank you again to @2018shawn​ for helping me come up with the idea and @moonshineholland​ for proofreading! Chapter 1 here

Summary: After a wrench is thrown into your relationship, will you and Tom be able to handle it or will it force you apart? WC: 9.6k

Warnings: Language, LOTS of smut, angst.

"I knew it!" Hannah screams into the phone. You had finally told her about the Tom situation after mulling over it for a couple of days. Now you were sitting in Tom's sun lounger by the pool. He was out shooting today but you decided to let yourself in to go for a swim and keep Tessa company. The last time you were over Tom had given you a spare key. Invited you to come at any time you pleased. He especially encouraged you to keep Tessa company as he worried about leaving her alone for too long. After taking for her for a walk, Tessa decided it was time for a much needed nap. With her asleep, you decided to catch up on tanning as well as catch up Hannah on your predicament.

"Don't get too excited, nothing has really happened since then." Ever since that steamy make out session with Tom, the two of you hadn't really talked about it. Tom's hands were all over you for the rest of the night traveling up and down your body, his lips all over your neck. You even fell asleep in his arms, not moving from the couch until almost three in the morning. Eventually, Tessa jumped on the couch, waking you both. Tom headed to bed as he needed to prepare for shooting the next day and you spent the rest of the night back home. Since then you had hung out with Tom once, only having dinner and watching a movie. Now, two days after making out with Tom, you weren't quite sure where he stood on the situation. "We haven't really acknowledged it, I guess," you explain to Hannah.

"Wait, so you're saying you had a lust filled night of passion and now you haven't porked his brains out yet?" Hannah never was one to put a filter on what she was thinking, but when it came to your love life she was especially honest.

You get up and pace around the pool, concrete hot against your bare feet. "It wasn't a lust filled night of passion, Hannah," you start. "All we did was make out. Maybe I'm a bad kisser and that's why he hasn't tried to make another move."

"No way!" Hannah exclaims. "Boys are horndogs, they could be kissing a corpse and still be into it."

"Gross," you interrupt. "Tom isn't like any other guys I've met, Han. He's really sweet and caring and he gets totally flustered any time we get flirty." That was a fact. Tom's face could turn red faster than the blink of an eye, as could yours. Neither of you had been particularly proficient when it came to the art of flirting, but you had mastered the art of making eyes at each other from across the room. It felt like both of you were holding back, and you weren't sure when that dam was going to break. You were almost certain it had when you finally kissed, but maybe not after all.

A bark pulls you from your thoughts. Your head whips back to the house and you see Tessa standing at the back door wanting to join you outside. You jog over to the door and let her out. "What is that?" Hannah asks. "Do I hear a dog?"

"It's Tessa." You had told Hannah about the situation with Tom but you had also left out the part about the spare key, meaning you hadn't told her you were at his house at this very moment either.

"Who's Tessa? Am I being replaced as your best friend?" Hannah says sarcastically. Tessa dances around your feet, whining for attention.

"Han, it's Tom's dog, you literally met her when you came over." You pat Tessa on the head before she takes off.

"Oh yeah... I would have remembered her name if she wasn't asleep the whole time I was there!" she pesters.

"She's a dog," you roll your eyes as if Hannah can see you. "Maybe if-"

"Hold the phone, you're at his house?" She interrupts. "Is he there? Are you about to bone? I'm so confused, please explain." Hannah's thoughts often ran a million miles a minute and today was no exception. You didn't mind though, she was just excited that your love life finally had a spark. You'd been hurt in the past and she knew you weren't the most open and willing when it came to dating. It made you happy that she was ecstatic for you, even when she was a little cavalier about it.

"No, he's on set today. I'm just hanging out with Tessa and sunbathing. He gave me a spare key, it isn't a big deal." It wasn't a big deal, really, but you knew Hannah could go on about that one for hours. "I'm just hanging out here until he's back and then maybe I'll try to talk to him about the - uh - incident."

"You mean your tongue down his throat? That incident?" She pesters.

"Yes, that one," you say, rolling your eyes. You settle onto the sun lounger again, just now noticing Tessa digging around in the garden. "Tess! Get out of there, I'm not giving you another bath today."

"I wanna hear whatever details you have after tonight," Hannah insists. "And we need to hang out soon, I miss you."

"I promise, Han, we'll hang out soon." You tuck your phone under the cushion and pull out your sunscreen to apply another layer, but the only thing on your mind is what you want to say to Tom when he's back.

When Tom finally arrives back home it's almost 10 pm. You spent the rest of the afternoon working on homework while Tessa kept herself occupied with a toy. You fed her at dinnertime and made yourself a sandwich. Waiting for Tom made the minutes feel like hours, each one dragging longer than the last. You were antsy for him to come back, but at least the longer it took him to come back, the longer you could put off talking to him about your feelings.

That kiss had left you reeling, even more so than you thought it would. After confessing to Hannah, the scene kept replaying in your head. Every time you forced it out of your mind, that feeling of Tom's hands on your bare skin would pull you back in and you'd be caught up daydreaming about the way his tongue had slid into your mouth. Your hand is gripping your thigh, heat building between your legs just thinking about it. You bury your head in your hands and rub your eyes as if you can rub away the thoughts of Tom in your head. Before you get too caught up again you hear the sound of the garage door opening. Tom's home.

Tessa makes a break for the door and whines until Tom finally opens it. He's got a big bag of takeout in his hands and heads straight for the kitchen, Tessa still sniffing and dancing around his shoes. "I didn't think you'd still be here," he calls over from the island. You make your way from the living room to the kitchen, joining him in the brightly lit room.

"I would've made you dinner if I had known what time you were gonna be back but I wasn't sure." You had texted Tom earlier in the day but he hadn't responded until he was already done on set for the day. By then you had already eaten dinner and you didn't even have time to prep anything for him anyway.

"That's alright love, I was in the mood for shitty takeout anyway." You try to smile but you just scrunch up your mouth instead. All that confidence you had about confronting Tom melts away at the sight of him. He looks a little disheveled, probably just from a long day of work. It seems almost silly now, like bringing up the situation would just annoy him. You decide to bite your tongue and keep it to yourself for now. What's waiting until he has a day off? It wouldn't hurt anything.

Tom looks tired and a little annoyed so you want to be out of his space. "Um, I think I'm just gonna go, I'll let you have some peace and quiet," you say. It was probably nothing, but you wanted to give him his privacy, this was his house after all. "I was just keeping Tessa company anyway."

"You should stay," Tom says abruptly. He doesn't look up from his food, twirling the lo mein around with his fork.

"Are you sure?" You ask, testing the waters. "I don't mind going, I have some homework to do anyway." That was a lie, but if it makes Tom feel better, it made you feel better.

"It was just a long day. The director was really pushing me and I was getting frustrated. It isn't a big deal," Tom explains. He finally looks up at you, the bags under his eyes dark. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to." Tom's eyes are dark and heavy, lids almost swollen. It just now registers that he might've been crying. Frustrated at the very least.

"I know," you say softly, almost whispering. You stop for a minute, looking him up and down. His eyes are trained on his food, his usual cheery demeanor almost entirely absent. He tosses a noodle down and Tessa gobbles it up.

"I'll share my lo mein if you stay," Tom murmurs, finally looking up from his food. You let out a soft chuckle and take a seat next to Tom. He passes over his fork to you and for the first time since he got home, a smile appears on his face. It's a gentle half-smile, but a smile nonetheless. You twirl some noodles onto the fork and bring it to your mouth.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" You ask through a mouthful of noodles.

Tom just shakes his head. "I'd rather hear about what my two girls did today." Tessa's ears perk up at that. She pretends to look to the side away from Tom, pretending like she isn't begging for food.

"Well, it was a pretty relaxed day," you start. "I swam in the pool for a bit and did my homework. Tess tore up another toy." You nod over to the living room, stuffing from the toy littering the ground.

"I'm starting to think you're just using me for my pool," Tom jokes.

"Of course! I don't know what else you thought this was," you joke, hitting his shoulder. "My friend Hannah thinks it's weird, me being at your house all day."

"It is weird," Tom affirms. "It isn't really the most typical of friendships, but I like you, so why not hang out with you instead of being alone? Same goes for Tess, I'm sure she's a lot happier not being alone all day." The statement dances around in your head for a moment. Specifically the word 'friendship' along with 'I like you' storms around in your head. Thomas was good at a lot of things but sending mixed signals was maybe his best talent. "Do you think if I lay on the ground Tess will walk on my back and give me a massage? I'm sore as fuck from stunts today."

"Um," you chuckle, eyebrows scrunched together. "Yeah, I'm not quite sure she's capable of doing that." You let that linger in the air for a moment before blurting out "I could give you a massage, maybe. If you want or whatever?" "Yeah?" He asks, eyes finally meeting yours. "I'll take what I can get."

"Really?" You accidentally blurt. It wasn't like you didn't want to do it but you didn't expect him to actually take you up on it.

"What? Are you too shy?" He cracks. "We've already made out, I hardly think a massage is that scandalous." Your cheeks immediately flush with red, your palms becoming sweaty. This is the first time he's mentioned the make out incident since it happened. He doesn't even look phased as he continues to scarf down the noodles.

"I guess you're right," you hum, fingertips buzzing from the thought of touching Tom. You leave Tom at the island and go back to the living room, Tessa following behind you. You move the coffee table out of the way and set up a blanket and pillow for Tom to lay on.

Tom joins you in the living room, setting his takeout on the coffee table you pushed aside. "Nice set up," he says, examining the space you have laid out. He takes his shirt off and tosses it on to the couch and lays down on the floor on his stomach. Your eyes are like saucers. You had expected this to be a 'through the clothes' kind of massage but you weren't about to ask him to get dressed. You eye him up and down, eyes raking over his back muscles down to the Calvin Klein waistband peeking out from his jeans. Before you even touch him Tessa has gotten up from her bed and is now trying to lick Tom's face off. "Tess!" Tom whines. He gets up and takes her out back, shutting the door so the two of you will be uninterrupted. Tom is back on his stomach so you wordlessly drop to your knees by his side. The tips of your fingers meet his skin, warm and firm. You slowly move your hands up his spine, slowly palming his tense back. You feel him laugh under your hands. "Your hands are so cold, darling," he teases.

"Give it a minute," you say, lightly slapping his back and pretending to hit him. Your hands continue across his shoulders, where he is most tense. Your thumbs dig into the muscle, and Tom moans under you. You dig your thumbs into the same spot again.

"Fuck," he moans again. "You can go harder, I won't break I promise." You weren't exactly trying to be gentle, but it was hard to put your weight into it when you were arched over his side.

"Okay," you start "I just have to...," you trail off as you swing your leg over his waist and you're now straddling him. Tom lets out a soft laugh, but you don't acknowledge it. Now with better leverage, you dig back into his shoulders. Tom's smile is wiped off his face and is replaced with a look of ecstasy as he lets out a long moan.

"Shit," Tom gasps through another moan. "What did you just hit?"

"I guess you have a g-spot in your shoulders." This makes the both of you laugh. You bring your hands down to his shoulder blades and start massaging the muscle that surrounds the area. Tom had some bruising on his back from his stunt work so you didn't want to get too rough with him. Tom moans into the pillow, this time lower and drawn out. "Geez, I hope the neighbors don't hear this, it sounds quite sexual."

"It's better than sex," Tom mutters.

"Oh?"

"Not really, but it's a close second." He turns his head and looks back at you over his shoulder giving you that killer smile. You work your hands lower again, reaching the small of his back. "Am I getting an ass massage too? My glutes are sore from all the running I had to do on set today."

"In your dreams, Holland," you roll your eyes.

"Fine, fine, what about a happy ending?" Tom starts laughing before he can even finish his joke.

"Once again, in your dreams," you tease him, although for a second it crosses your mind that something like that might be in your dreams too. You massage all the way down Tom's back and all the way up to the top again. After about a half hour of massaging Tom, you finally crawl off his back and sit on the floor next to him. Tom's eyes are closed and he's half asleep from the relaxing massage. "Alright, my fingers are about to fall off." Tom slowly flips over onto his back. Your eyes dart to the bulge in his jeans. He isn't totally hard, but he at least has a semi. He doesn't seem to notice or acknowledge it as he rubs his eyes. "What? Only the back side? What about the front?" He teases again.

"You're not getting a happy ending!" You exclaim.

"That isn't even what I meant," Tom says through his grin. "My chest is sore from pull ups and I paid for the full experience!" You shoot him a confused look. "I gave you lo mein, duh."

"Tom, I had like two bites!"

"Yeah! One bite for the back and one for the front!" Tom takes your hand and brings it to his chest.

"Have I told you that you're annoying?" You badger him, caving in to his request. With your hands on his chest, you move your palms in slow circular motions, hands traveling from his chest to his shoulders. You can feel Tom looking at you so you meet his gaze. With Tom facing you everything feels a lot more intimate. You feel every inch of your skin connected to his, the heat radiating from his body to your hands. Tom licks his lips and all you can think about is kissing them again. Before you even know what you're doing you're crawling on top of him and straddling him again. "Um... leverage," is all you can stutter out. Your cheeks are flushed pink but so are Tom's. His eyes travel down your body before slowly grazing back up. Your eyes meet again. Your hands are on his chest, legs around his waist. You're riding him.

Well, sort of. You can feel his bulge pressed against your ass now, straining against his jeans. His hands come up to your waist, taking a firm hold on you. Without a second thought, you bring your face to his, lips crashing again his. Tom captures your bottom lip with his teeth, teasing you before slipping his tongue into your mouth. He traces over your lips before gliding his tongue over yours, flicking against you. Your kisses become needier, filled with lust and desire. Your noses bump together, trying to melt into one another as deep as you can go. Tom pulls your body flush against him, every part of you now rubbing together. Tom's hands explore your back, hands traveling up the back of your shirt. You bring your hands to his face, capturing his strong jaw. Tom consumes you, surrounds you with himself. From his hands on you to his tongue tracing your teeth, you feel yourself falling into him. His breath is warm, spilling into your mouth, his mouth now traveling down your neck. Tom moans against your neck, his guttural groans sending shivers down your spine, you can feel yourself getting wet. You gasp, fingers catching in Tom's hair, slowly grinding your body against his. You bring your lips to his about to press them against his again but then...

Both of you hear a whining followed by a bark. Tessa wants back inside. "She'll be fine," Tom says, his lips returning to your neck.

"No, it's fine, we don't make her stay outside. It's not like there aren't other places we can make out," you say as you get off of him, standing up. "Besides, when was the last time you even vacuumed?"

"Not since I moved in," Tom says as you go to the back door to let Tessa in. She trots into the living room, ignoring Tom and going straight for the lo mein, burying her nose in the takeout container. "Tess!" Tom chides her. "No, nasty!" Tom drags her by the collar away from the food. You can't help yourself but giggle at how things went from you on top of Tom to Tessa stealing his food. "Go on, go put yourself in timeout!" Tessa's head hangs as she slowly walks up the stairs.

"Aw, c'mon Tom she just wanted a bite! Plus you deserve it, you locked her outside."

"Whatever," Tom says as he rolls his eyes, taking his food to the trash can to throw away. Finally, with a moment to breathe, you check your phone. It's nearing midnight and you have some work to get done tomorrow.

"I should probably get going, I have to be up in the morning and it's getting a bit late." Tom looks at you with those puppy dog eyes that he has perfected but all he does is nod. He walks you to the door and gives you a soft kiss on the cheek.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" He asks.

"Yeah, sure," you smile at him before returning the kiss, this time on his lips. "See you tomorrow, Tom."

The next day it was around 7:30 pm and the sun was already beginning to set. After a long day of working from your computer, you were ready to throw in the towel. After taking a bath, you decide to text Tom and ask if he is almost home from set. It isn't until 9:00 pm when he finally responds. Just got home. Come over. Without a second thought, you get dressed and walk over to his house. As soon as your knuckles meet the dark wood of his front door, it opens to Tom's face, brightly lit with a smile. "Miss me?" Tessa comes running out the front door and sniffing at your feet.

"Tessa clearly missed me," you say, flashing a smile back at Tom.

"I missed you more," he says as he moved out of the doorframe and motions for you to come in.

"Were things easier on set today?" After how run down he looked the other day, you were hoping he was still feeling okay after another long day.

"Not too bad. Nothing a genius like me can't handle," he says as he ruffles his hair.

"I guess that explains why your head is so big."

"What!" Tom shouts, cocking his head at you. Tom grabs you around the shoulders and starts messing up your hair.

"I'm kidding, you dork!" You tell him, grabbing a hold of his arm, all too aware of the muscles underneath his soft skin. Tom releases you from his strong grasp. "Your head is perfectly average sized."

"Thank you!"

"Your ego on the other hand," you start. Tom's eyes widen again, ready to lunge at you. "Kidding again!"

"You better be," he jokes, pulling you in close again. This time his hands are wrapped around your waist, head tilted over yours. He brings his face to yours, closing the distance, lips meeting again. So this is what you were now? Intimate. More than friends. Nothing was set in stone, making you all the more nervous. You move your lips against his, falling into his kiss once again. Once you pull away you smile at him, but Tom can tell there's something off about the look on your face. "Is everything okay?" He asks, hands falling off your waist.

"I just... um," you start, shaking your head. "I hate to sound so cliche but what are we?"

"Friends?" Tom says, a confused look on his face. You return the confused look back.

"Just friends?" "Well, um, special friends," Tom clarifies. Clarifies in a way that clarities absolutely nothing. You take a step away from him.

"What does that mean exactly?" You look deep in to Tom's eyes. It's hard to tell what he's thinking.

He's wearing his glasses today making him look cute as ever. His hands are pulled tight by his sides, clearly showing he's a little on edge. "I guess I don't know exactly." Tom leans against the counter, putting a little more space between the two of you. "I just...," Tom trails off. "I can't really be in a relationship right now."

"What? Why?" You demand, the edge in your voice all too clear. You don't mean to sound pushy or even sound angry, but having your emotions toyed with is something you've never put up with. Knowing your worth has always been important to you and you didn't like to play games. You and Tom had been flirty from the start, so there was obviously something between you. In a matter of seconds, every interaction you've had with Tom flies through your head, analyzing everything from mixed signals, missed opportunities, to your especially erotic massage make out session last night. Had you missed something? What weren't you getting? What wasn't Tom getting?

Tom's mouth hangs open for a second as he tries to articulate what he's thinking. The seconds stretch out in front of you, feeling like years. "I'm not gonna be here forever," he starts. "I'm constantly going back and forth between places. In two months, once I'm done with this shoot, I'll be back in London for who knows how long." You feel the ground start shifting under you as Tom talks. Tom, the guy you had been slowly developing feelings for no matter how hard you tried not too. Tom, the guy who was jaw droppingly gorgeous and the sweetest gentleman you've ever met. Tom, the guy who didn't want to date you.

You try to muster up a response but you have no idea what to say. Now it's your turn for your mouth to hang up. "I guess I don't know what to say." "You don't have to say anything," Tom says, closing the distance between you, wrapping his arms around you again. "Why do we even need to have a label on it? Why can't we just enjoy each other's company? I've loved spending time with you and I don't want that to change."

"But...," you start.

"But I just can't have a relationship right now, love." Tom places a kiss on your forehead. I have to be a million places all over the world as soon as press for my next movie starts. It would just make it harder on both of us and I can't do that to you. I can't promise you something when I know it isn't going to work out." You do your best to suppress rolling your eyes. After all this time of being a total gentleman, now he wants to be a fuckboy like every other guy in California? Hannah would definitely be hearing about this later.

"Sure," you say bluntly. You were irritated and you just wanted the conversation to be over. If Tom didn't want a girlfriend then fine, you wouldn't push the envelope, but you wouldn't let him play with your emotions either.

"Please, don't be mad at me-"

"I'm not," you interrupt. "I guess I'm just disappointed. Let's just drop it." You cross your arms and lean against the counter.

Tom crosses his arms too and stays silent for a moment. "I'm sorry," he mumbles. "I can't lead you on I couldn't keep that from you."

"It's fine," you reiterate. "It's whatever. I'm glad you told me." You really were glad he told he told you. Glad you could keep yourself from getting more hung up on him. You uncross your arms to keep yourself from looking too upset. "So what's the plan? Are you making me dinner or do I have to do everything around here?" There was a stillness and a comfort around you. Without worrying about a potential relationship you could just enjoy yourself, right?

Tom cracks a small smile of that, breaking through the troubled look on his face. "How about I buy you takeout instead." You jokingly roll your eyes, making fun of his inability to cook.

Friends. There was nothing wrong with friends. Watching Tom as he grabbed his phone to order food, you thought to yourself that there were plenty more fish in the sea.

"I don't think I'm understanding," Hannah ranted. You texted her as soon as you got back from Tom's and she immediately made plans to come over the next day. Now the two of you were laying in your room listening to music as you so often did before you started spending so much time at Tom's house.

You pull your blanket over your head, groaning into the soft covers. "I don't even know why I got so invested. I'm sorry I haven't been around as much, I shouldn't have let trying to get with Tom take up so much of my time."

"Don't say that!" Hannah asserts. "You're still in desperate need of dick and it doesn't always just come to you, you have to put in work for it sometimes!"

"But I didn't even get any!" You whine. "Besides that wasn't what I was going for! Haven't you ever heard of happily ever after?" "My happily ever after includes me getting good dick." While Hannah is talking you get up from your bed and go over to your bay window, sitting down on the cushions. "His dick isn't even off the table either, hun. I know it isn't exactly what you were hoping for but you don't have to go back to the nunnery just yet." "I think that's called a convent," you tease. Hannah always knew how to make you smile even when you were feeling down. Hannah sits up from the bed and joins you at the window. You look over at Tom's backyard to see him coming outside with a towel, about to go for a swim. "Listen, boys change up like the weather all the time. They never know what they want and they're always changing their minds. It doesn't matter if you and Tom aren't destined to be together, just have some fun." Hannah grabs your hands, pulling you close. "I know you're never satisfied with guys and they're always letting you down, but you've been the happiest hanging out with Tom than you have been in a while. You don't have to totally cut him out just because he's a little bit of a douche. We already knew that hun, he's a guy they're all dicks."

You let out a soft laugh and nod. Hannah had a point. She always did, she was too smart for her own good. "I'm not gonna tell you you're right because you already know you are."

"Of course I'm right, babes," Hannah says as she hugs you. "Have some fun, let loose! You practically wet yourself when you made out with him. It's up to you, hun, do whatever you want. Do you know what you want?"

You look out to Tom's yard and watch as he dives headfirst into the pool. Dating Tom might not be in your future, but there was obviously something between you. Did you know what you wanted?

You took a few days to yourself to think about your situation. Tom had been texting you but your responses were inconsistent and sporadic. He asked you to come over more than once but you told him you were busy or had plans with Hannah, which wasn't technically lying as Hannah had come over for a few nights to watch movies. Now, it was the weekend and you had spent most of the day laying in bed. Tom was at work but you had texted him and asked to come over later. He replied almost instantly with an absolutely. Tom didn't seem to be upset with you even though you pulled had a bit of a disappearing act. He could probably imagine how confused you had been over the past few days. But you weren't confused anymore. Tom was just a boy and you were just a girl. And you were just a girl wanting to let loose.

You found yourself in Tom's living room once more. Tom was on one side of the couch and you were on the other. It had felt a bit awkward since you had come over, but the conversation had been flowing as usual. You had fallen back into your typical poking fun at each other banter and Tom had put on some shitty horror movie. "Why do you always have to put on shitty movies like this, why can't we watch a good one?"

"Well if it's a shitty movie then we can make fun of it. We always end up talking over it anyway," he explains.

"Then why don't you put on music or something, dummy," you tease.

"Fine!" Tom caves in. He turns off the movie and pulls up Spotify on the TV, turning on one of his playlists. "Alright missy, you got your wish, now what do you want to talk about."

"First we can talk about how Chris Evans is so much hotter than you," you joke. Tom tosses a pillow at your face but you smack it out of the way before it hits you. "I'm kidding Mr. Holland, you're the hottest superhero."

"Damn right," Tom says, smile proud on his face. You roll your eyes at that.

Would now be a good time to ask him? runs through your head. You've thought about it for days now, so why pussy out? It's just a few simple words. "Tom, I...," you trailed off.

"Huh?"

"I, um... ," you started again. "Um, do you have any snacks?"

"Oh, uh, yeah," Tom says as he got up from the couch. He disappeared into the kitchen to grab whatever the fuck he thought you wanted. Shit was all you could think. You always froze up at the last second, always too scared to shoot your shot. After a minute, Tom came back with an assortment of snacks. He dropped the pile of snacks on the couch next to you and took a seat on the other side. "Plenty?" Tom asks as he digs his hand into a bag of chips.

"Yeah," you start again. "Actually, um, I meant to ask about the other day." Tom looks up from his chips, mouth full and his loud crunching distracting you. He doesn't interrupt, just keeps looking at you. "About the relationship thing..."

"Hun, I-"

"You're not looking for a relationship," you interrupt him. "That's fine, I know, but... why don't we just... have fun then?" Tom studies your face for a minute. His eyebrows are scrunched together and the look of confusion takes over his face.

"I'm sorry," he starts. "What exactly are you asking?"

Hannah's words fly through your head: just have fun. "Fun, like I said," you say, looking him in the eyes, his tight knit eyebrows slowly coming undone. "No strings attached."

"Friends with benefits?" Tom asks.

"Exactly," you explain. "You don't want a relationship and I don't want to get my feelings hurt. But that doesn't mean I'm not still... attracted to you." Tom keeps his eyes trained on you, watching you as he chews on his bottom lip. "You can say no, I'm just thinking out loud."

"Are you sure?" He asks. You weren't fully sure of yourself, but these days you often weren't. The world kept going even when you were standing still, so what was the point in waiting around to question yourself any longer?

"Yes," you blurt. "We have a good thing going for us already, I mean. And we're both adults with needs so... why not?" The silence hangs in the air for another moment, the atmosphere in the room warm and still. Your hands are clammy and your face is definitely on fire. You weren't often bold like this and it was a new sensation to you.

"Well then... why not?" Tom finally says. "I mean, I'm not exactly sure how to go about this I guess."

You weren't exactly sure how this would go either. Or even how it would start. "We can just let things happen organically and see what happens."

Tom nodded, tossing the bag of chips aside. "So we can make out now?" He looked like an eager kid in a candy store.

You laughed at him and rolled your eyes. "I said organically, Thomas."

After talking to Tom about the new aspects of your friendship, you decided to turn the shitty horror movie back on to fill the silence while you retreated into your thoughts. It was hard to tell what Tom was thinking and it made you more nervous that he might be thinking this was a bad idea. He seemed excited enough, but your doubts had a way of getting the better of you. You were so shrouded in your thoughts you hadn't even noticed the movie was over. "Not as shitty as the last one but still pretty shitty," Tom commented.

"I get to pick the movie next time," you declared.

Tom laid down on the couch, using your lap as a pillow. "My taste is immaculate, don't be jealous." You rolled your eyes at that one. "Have I ever told you how gorgeous you are?"

"I think so. Every night before I go to bed you tell me I'm gorgeous and the most important woman in the world," you pester him.

"No, that's Tess," he says laughing.

"Whatever," you roll your eyes.

"You are gorgeous though," he says again. "I know I've put you in a complicated situation and all, but you're the fittest girl I've ever met. You're stunning and you're way smarter than me."

"Clearly," you tease him again.

"And I'm not just complimenting you to get in your pants, I really mean it," Tom says. "I just... are you really sure about this?" Tom looks into your eyes. His eyes are soft in gentle. Everything about him is soft and gentle. He's so sweet and compassionate and caring that you start to feel your doubts melt away. Maybe you weren't making the right decision, but it was a decision that still made you happy. You push him off your lap and force him to sit up. Before he can say anything else, you press your lips against his. It's softer than your last kiss, this one more gentle and subdued. Your lips move in sync, pushing into one another, slow and passionate like you have all the time in the world. Tom runs his hands through your hair, pulling you into him.

Tom pulls back for a second to look at you. "Is this okay?" He asks, voice heavy with desire. You nod your head and lean back in, lips meeting his again. You deepen this kiss this time, slipping your tongue into his mouth. Tom's breathing is getting heavier by the second as the kiss becomes more intense. His hands find your waist, pulling you closer until he has you in his lap. You wrap your arms around his neck as you straddle him. Your tongue slides against his, teeth clashing as the kiss becomes sloppier. Tom pulls away again, this time his lips shiny and starting to redden from your lips hungrily attacking each other. "Should we take this upstairs?" His voice is low and gruff, saturated with lust. You try your best to formulate words but all you can is nod your head.

Tom leads you up the stairs. He brings you to his bedroom, which you haven't been in since the first night you came to Tom's house. He closes the door behind you and dims the lights, giving the room a soft, sensual glow. Tom backs you up against the edge of the bed and you let yourself fall back onto it. Tom crawls on top of you, kissing up your neck as he comes back to your lips.

Your hands find their way under his shirt, slowly traveling up his back. Tom breaks to kiss to take his shirt off, pulling it over his head. You watch as his abdomen muscles ripple as he moves before his mouth is all over yours again. You can already feel the heat building between your legs, the wetness forming as your desire for Tom burns like a wildfire. He kisses back down your neck to your collarbone until his lips meet the fabric of your shirt. "Can I take it off you?" He asks, looking up at you. His puppy dog eyes now taking a different form, something more raw and needy.

You sit up as Tom grabs the hem of your shirt, pulling it over top of your head. "I don't think I've ever told you how great your tits are," Tom teases.

"Shut up," you laugh, shaking your head at him. You unclasp your bra, letting it slide off your shoulders. Tom's mouth practically gapes at the sight of your bare breasts.

"Wow," is all he can muster. You giggle at him as you back your way to the top of the bed, Tom following right behind you. With you on your back, he crawls between your legs, wrapping them around his waist. He slowly grinds his body against yours and you can feel his erection through his sweatpants. You palm his bulge, feeling the harness through the fabric. Tom moans into your mouth as his tongue meets yours again, warm breaths exchanged between you. Tom begins to slide down, his bare skin against yours as he goes. He kisses a trail down your neck before choosing a spot to slowly lick and caress with his tongue, gently sucking in a way that will be sure to leave a mark. His hands find your breasts, taking a handful and slowly rubbing them and creating friction against your nipples. A gentle moan leaves your lips, giving Tom the green light to let him know that you love what he's doing. After he's satisfied with the mark he's left on your neck he lowers his face to your tits, his tongue finding the nipple. Tom gently begins to suck and graze his teeth of your sensitive nipples, now hard from Tom's work. This time you let out a louder moan, knotting your fingers into Tom's hair as his warm, wet tongue focuses on your erogenous zone. Tom moves to the other side, his tongue lashing at the tender skin, driving you crazy before you're even fully undressed.

"Fuck, Tom," you let out a breathy moan. He looks up at you, nipple in his mouth and lets out a low moan. You bite your lip at the sexy sight of him. While Tom is still working on you, you start to wiggle out of your pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them with one hand. Tom notices you struggling and helps slide them off of you. With his warm mouth gone, the cold air hits your skin where he has left it wet with his tongue.

With your pants gone, you're left only in your underwear, and Tom looks captivated by the sight. "You're so fucking sexy, love," Tom practically moans. He positions his head between your thighs and kisses each one, licking his way back up. His mouth meets the fabric of your panties and he lets out a hot breath that breaks through the thin fabric. By now you're practically soaked from anticipation, desperately aching to feel his tongue on you. Tom hooks his fingers across the fabric, moving it to the side without taking them off. He licks a tantalizing slow strip up your slit, his tongue finding it's way between your slit, enveloping him in your heat. "So fucking wet for me," he moans against you. Tom's mouth feels like heaven against you, his soft lips rubbing against you, his tongue working it's way in and out of you, gliding up and down your slit. Tom grabs your ass, slightly lifting you off the bed to slide your panties down to your ankles. He spreads your legs as far apart as he can before his head finds it's place between your legs again. His lips wrap around your clit, slowly licking against the nub before grazing his teeth against it. You involuntarily gasp for air and moan, throwing your head back against the pillow as your hips buck up against his tongue. You look back down to watch Tom as he gently assaults your clit with his tongue, eyes trained on you. "Keep your eyes on me," Tom murmurs against you.

"O-okay," you manage to get out between moans. It had been a while since a guy had gone down on you but this was already a million times better than you had ever had before. Tom lets out a gentle puff of air onto your sensitive, throbbing clit. You struggle to keep your eyes open, watching Tom as he expertly works every inch of you. Your hand finds it's way to his hair again, your fingers threading through his hair, keeping his head in place. Tom's head is moving up and down now, his tongue traveling over your soaked folds. Tom has one hand on your thigh keeping you spread open as he moves the other one to hover over your clit. As his head moves down further, his thumb takes the place of his tongue, now rubbing your clit in circles.

Tom moans against you again, sending deep vibrations into you that you feel in your core. "You taste so fucking good," he groans.

"Please, fuck, please," you moan. "More." Your hips are slowly bucking in rhythm with his tongue, your juices flowing from how turned on you are. "Fuck," you gasp. "Please... fingers." Tom wordlessly responds. He lifts his head up spitting onto your opening, saliva and your juices dripping from his lips. It's messy and sloppy and probably the hottest thing you've ever seen. Tom uses his spit and your wetness to easily slide his index finger inside you. "Fucking hell," you gasp. You sit up on your elbows to get a better view of Tom as his tongue travels back to your clit, as he buries a second finger inside you. "Tom, fuck!" You cry out. Tom curls his fingers inside you, pumping them in and out, quickly picking up the pace. The faster he goes, the more stars that start to appear in your vision. "Tom, I'm getting close," you warn. You feel your body begin to get warm all over, that pit of pleasure building in your stomach. Tom begins to pick up the pace of his fingering, his tongue lapping aggressively at your clit, swirling around it and gently biting it. "Fuck, fuck!" You scream as your body starts to fall to pieces. You feel your orgasm wash over you, starting in the pit of your stomach and reaching all the way to the tips of your toes and back up. A sob escapes your throat as your toes curl and the orgasm finished wracking through your body. "Holy shit, Tom, where'd you learn to do that?"

"Practice," he says, flashing that cheeky smile at you. Although this time he has your juices drenching his lips and chin. Tom comes up from beneath your legs, planting a wet kiss on your lips. You can taste yourself on his lips but that seems to only turn you on more.

You pull away and give him a devilish grin. "My turn?"

"You're naughty," he teases. "But absolutely," Tom crawls off of you and falls beside you on his back, putting a pillow behind him to prop himself up. His hard on is still raging through his sweatpants, a small patch of precum leaking through the grey fabric. Fuck, his bulge looks big. You run your hand across his bulge, palming at his hard member. Tom hooks his thumbs over his waistband and slides his sweatpants down, cock smacking against his stomach as it jumps out from his underwear. His cock is long and hard, precum dripping from the tip. His cock is red and straining, throbbing from how excited he is. Without hesitation, you grab his cock, slowly pumping the thick meat. You rub your thumb against the head, spreading the precum over it and dragging it down his shaft. "Fuck, baby," Tom moans, head falling back against the headboard. You tease his cock, jerking him off at a tantalizingly slow pace, letting the tension build.

After teasing him with your hand, you bring your mouth down to the head of his cock and flick your tongue against it. Tom lets out a breathy moan and tangles his fingers into your hair, pushing your head down with a bit of force. You take the head into your mouth, tongue finding the sensitive spot under the tip. Tom's cock was already hard but you felt it grow rock hard in your mouth, his pre cum leaking into your mouth now, hot and salty. You bob your head up and down, opening your throat up for him. "Your mouth feels so fucking good," Tom pants, thrusting his hips up into your mouth. You grab his balls, slowly tugging at them and working them around with your fingers until his cock is buried entirely down your throat. Tears escape your eyes but you keep yourself from gagging, pulling off his cock. You lick a stripe up his shaft and back down, taking a second to play with his balls in your mouth, tongue traveling around his sack. You take his cock down into your mouth again and he thrusts up into your throat. Tom pushes you down further onto his cock, fucking your mouth. You gag a couple of times before you get the hang of it, but once you do Tom is thrusting into your throat with ease.

Tom's breathing is heavy and labored as he breaks out into a sweat. He raises up his hand, bringing it down on your ass, causing a loud smack, leaving a red hand print on your ass. "Open your legs for me, baby," he commands. You do as he says and he leans forward so he can reach you, his long fingers finding their way in your slit again. He collects your wetness and brings it to your mouth. You open up for him and taste yourself on him, your tongue dancing around his fingers. You moan onto his fingers before he pushes you back down onto his cock again. He leans forward again, this time his fingers meeting your entrance, sliding into you to the knuckle. He fingers you fast and rough, the sounds of your wetness turning him on even more.

"I can't take it any longer I need to be inside you now," Tom demands, standing up on the bed as you pull off of his cock. "Get on your hands and knees." You do as he says, positioning yourself on the edge of the bed. He gets on his knees, his face in line with your dripping pussy. He buries his face in it, tongue licking it's way through your folds, making you gasp and scream with pleasure.

"Fuck!" You moan, burying your face into his duvet. "Tom, it feels so fucking good!" As you're gasping into the pillow, Tom gets up from his knees and lines the head of his cock up with your entrance, slapping his head against your soaked folds. You bite your lip and push your hips back against him, begging to feel the fullness of his cock inside you. 

Tom teases you with his cock, holding your hips in place, making you wait and beg for him to give you what you want. "You want more?" All you can muster is a moan as you push against him harder. He slides the head inside you, slowly opening up your entrance. "So fucking tight."

"Oh, fuuuck!" You cry out, mouth hanging open as he slides another inch inside. He slides in until he's halfway in and you can feel yourself stretching around him, the heat of your tight walls adjusting to his size. "Tom, please," you hiss. "More, please." Tom adheres to your begs, sliding in the rest of his cock with a quick, hard stroke, balls slapping against you. "Ah, fuck, Tom!" You moan, gasps and hisses falling from your mouth. You try to form a sentence, tell him you love it, tell him it feels fucking amazing, tell him his cock is bringing you the most pleasure you've ever felt, but all you can muster is garbled moans and cries.

Tom starts pumping in and out of you, faster and faster, his hips slapping against yours. You can feel his cock throbbing inside you, his rhythm steady and consistent as he fills you up. Tom grabs you by the hair and pulls you up, your bodies flush against each other. He buries his face in your neck, licking and sucking on the mark he already left on you, the skin still sensitive from the earlier assault. Tom's hand travels down to your now easily accessible clit, his index and middle finger rubbing in circles in time with the rhythm of his thrusts. "You're so fucking wet... dripping down my cock," Tom grunts through gritted teeth. "Fucking hell, your pussy was made for me."

Tom pulls out of you and spins you around then pushes you back on the bed. He crawls between your legs and lifts them onto his shoulders, centering his cock with your entrancing and sliding his entire length back into with a resounding thrust. "Fuck!" You cry out, grabbing hold of his arms, feeling the veins that wrap around his muscles under the soft skin. Tom immediately picks the pace back up, the bed squeaking and shaking from the ferocity of his fucking.

"Play with yourself, I wanna see you touch your clit while I'm fucking you," Tom orders. Your hand flies down to your clit, fingers toying with yourself. It feels even better with him inside you, every thrust sending a shockwave to your core.

You throw your head back, letting your body succumb to the pleasure. "Tom! Fuck I can't...," you trail off. You try to warn Tom that he's getting you close, bringing you closer to the edge with every thrust, but the pleasure has left you unable to form words. Tom brings your legs down from his shoulders and wraps them around his waist. Tom lays his body across yours, bare skin rubbing against bare skin, gliding over the other from sweat. Tom wraps one arm behind your head, bringing your face together, lips meeting as he buries his cock deep inside you, the head rubbing against your sweet spot as he slowly grinds his hips against yours, hitting that spot deep inside you over and over. "Tom!" You moan into his mouth. You feel the pressure building in your stomach each time he buries himself deeper. You grab his hand from your waist and push it to your clit, begging him to give you your release. Tom gets the memo and starts to rub your clit in circles with the rough pad of his thumb.

"Such a dirty girl for me," he moans into your mouth. You feel your body start to convulse. You grab on to his shoulders, your walls closing in around him. Tom picks up the pace of his thrusting, burying his cock as deep inside you as he can, working on your clit harder, collecting your wetness on his fingers to use on your clit.

"Tom," you gasp. "Fuck, don't stop!" Your hips buck and your legs shake, Tom hitting your sweet spot as you feel the pressure release. The pleasure washes over you, your mouth hanging open as guttural moans escape your mouth. You close your eyes, stars swirling around your vision as you feel your orgasm reaching it's peak. Tom knows what he's doing to you and he's loving every second, feeling your walls tighten on his cock, feeling your body shake in his hands as he pushes you over the point of no return. You buck your hips onto his cock, riding out the waves of your orgasm as you start coming down.

Tom gives you a few more thrusts before he grunts in your ear, his thrusts becoming short and hard as his body tenses up. He lets out a final groan before his pulsing cock begins to spurt his ribbons of cum inside you, holding your hips steady as he realizes inside you. "Fuck!" He grunts through gritted teeth. "Fucking hell," he moans, pumping inside you, his spent cock throbbing and twitching, fucking the cum out of you, letting it drip from your opening. Tom's mouth meets yours again, tongues intertwining as you pant and moan into each other's mouths, hardly able to move from how spent the both of you are.

Breathing heavy, the air hot and sticky, Tom is the first to break the post-orgasm silence. "I can't even remember the last time I came that hard," he smiles, breaking out into a laugh.

You bury your head into your hands, hiding your face from him. "So we really did that, huh?" You peek out through your fingers to see him flash that cheeky grin at you. You start laughing and shaking your head. "Such a dork."

"A dork who made you cum harder than you ever have before," he teases, leaving one final kiss to your neck. You roll your eyes at that, even though it was the truth.

Tom gets up from the bed to grab a towel from the bathroom. He turns on the shower before coming back, placing a towel beside you. "So," he starts. "Again tomorrow?"

"Obviously," you giggle, flashing him a devilish smile. Oh boy, what had you gotten yourself into?

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[let-the-dream-begin]

A Place to Belong Chapter 20: Time Discovers Truth

Chapter 19

Read on AO3

Claire stood over Brianna’s cot, watching her chest rise and fall. She had no idea how she was supposed to sleep. She reached in and ever so gently rubbed her finger down her little cheek. She was so warm, so soft, so alive. She still hadn’t gotten used to her baby being warm to the touch.

Faith had been ice cold.

Even knowing Brianna was alive, she’d still half expected her to be cold. Hell, she’d expected her to be dead. Her warmth, her life, was a gift. One that she thanked God for every single day, every time she looked at her. 

But now…was she doomed to feel only fear and panic whenever she looked at her? The first weeks were disbelief, gratitude, and unconditional love. Would that forever be replaced with the constant thought of losing her?

Claire knew that epilepsy was quite treatable; epileptics often lived mostly normal lives. But that was in the year 1945. What was she to expect in this time? If her baby had had a seizure in 1945, she’d have rushed her to a hospital, they’d hook her up to machines, scan her brain, monitor her vitals all night. They’d know exactly what part of the brain was being affected, they’d be able to tell her if she’d grow out of it, perhaps give her pills when she was older. The best she could do for her in this time was herbs and constant monitoring. Children in this time died every day of things that were perfectly treatable in 1945.

How could she live with herself knowing that Brianna could have been born in that time, could have had access to the things she needed? Hell, she could have even not developed epilepsy to begin with. The birth likely would not have been nearly as deadly. Jamie had said, when the time comes, to promise him she’d go back. Well, the time had come, and she hadn’t gone back.

Part of her told herself that if Jamie hadn’t been so bullheaded and hadn’t fought at Culloden, if they’d fled together to live the rest of their lives in peace, they’d still be in this time. Brianna’s birth would have been just as terrible. So what truly should have been the catalyst to her going back? Jamie’s death, or the birth of her child? If Jamie hadn’t fought or had survived, and he eventually learned of her pregnancy, would his concern for their health have made him send them back anyway?

The fact of the matter was it was something they’d never gotten the chance to discuss. And either way, it was too late. Brianna was here, and she was sick, and Claire had to do something.

But what?

Claire covered her mouth to stifle a sob, so as to not wake her sleeping baby. She exhaled deeply, shakily. “Oh, my little girl,” she sighed. “What am I going to do?”

Just then, the door opened. “I thought I’d find ye like this.”

Claire finally looked up from the cot to see Jenny in the doorway.

“How is she?”

“She’s…she’s fine right now,” Claire said. “Her breathing is normal, her pulse is normal. She seemed a bit anxious when I last fed her but it’s…it’s normal to feel disoriented. After.”

Jenny nodded. “Ye ken about these…seizures?”

“Yes.”

“Will it happen again?”

“Most likely, yes.”

“There’s no way to stop it.”

Claire sighed, defeated, crossing her arms over her chest. “No, there isn’t. Not here.”

“What do ye mean?”

“Never mind,” Claire said quickly. Jenny crossed the room to join Claire beside the cot.

“She’s a beautiful sleeper, is she no’?” Jenny said, smiling down at her.

“Yes, she is.” Claire covered her mouth again, but Jenny caught her.

“Claire…” Jenny put her hands on her shoulders. “Ye said to Fergus yerself that…that it just happened. That it wasna anybody’s fault. Including yers.”

“But it is…it is my fault…” Claire’s voice faltered. “My body was unable to birth her properly. That’s what caused this…the same way my body couldn’t birth Faith…”

“Claire…”

“Perhaps I’m just…broken…” Claire sobbed. “I’m just…not meant to — ”

“Stop that right now, do ye hear me?” Jenny squeezed her shoulders firmly. “Ye lost yer wee Faith, God rest her poor soul. But Brianna is still wi’ us. And I won’t have ye talking of her as if she isn’t.”

“But if she has another seizure for that long, this young…her brain could just…turn to mush…” Claire wept, suddenly feeling nauseous. “She could be handicapped for her entire life. Because I couldn’t…because I didn’t…”

“That’s enough,” Jenny said firmly, but she pulled her quickly into a warm embrace. She held her as she cried into her shoulder.

“I let this happen…I let this happen…” she murmured, over and over.

Jenny hushed her, and soothed her, stroked her head, rubbed her back, but there was no consoling her. Jenny gently guided her to sit on the bed.

“How could ye have let it happen?” Jenny said, standing in front of her, hands on her shoulders. “You yourself took great care while ye carried her. Every precaution. Remember? Ye did everything ye could.”

“It wasn’t enough…I should have…I should…”

“You should have what, Claire?”

“I should have kept my promise!” she wailed.

Jenny processed for a moment. “Yer promise…to Jamie. The one ye told me about.” Claire nodded. “What do ye mean? How could that have changed anything?” Claire shook her head, wiped her face, and rubbed her eyes. “Tell me what ye promised, sister. Help me understand, I want to understand.”

Claire looked up into her eyes. She was genuine, she always was. Claire trusted Jenny with her life; she had even before she quite literally saved her life. In her eyes was all the care, fret, and love in the world for her, her sister. But though Jenny cast a warm light on those she trusted, she cast a cold shadow over those she didn’t trust. Claire had seen how it could be when she herself had yet to land in Jenny’s good graces. Jenny was deeply religious, superstitious. If she even believed her, who was to say she wouldn’t cast her aside, brand her as a witch, be terrified of her, never trust her again?

“Do ye hear me, Claire?”

Claire sighed. If Jamie were here, he’d want to tell her. He’d think that she deserved to know. And he would be right. She did deserve to know.

“Can you…can you check on her, please?” Claire said, her voice raspy. She cleared her throat. “Just…make sure she’s breathing alright.”

Jenny nodded and walked over to the cot, peering inside. “Aye. She’s braw.” She reached in and gave her head a tender stroke before looking up at Claire.

“I want you to understand, Jenny,” Claire said, wringing her hands. “But in order to do that I…I have to tell you something. Something that I haven’t told a single soul except for Jamie. Then he told Murtagh, with my permission.”

Jenny gave her a puzzled look and made her way back to the bed, sitting down beside her.

“You…you have to promise me that you’ll listen and let me fully explain everything.”

Jenny’s face was growing more and more troubled by the second, but she nodded. “I promise.”

“And just…remember that Jamie trusted me, totally and completely. He believed me and accepted it. He trusted me.”

“Alright.”

Exhaling deeply, Claire sat down beside Jenny. “Do you remember when I told you to plant potatoes? And you said that…Jamie told you I would tell you things?”

“Aye.”

“I told you to plant potatoes because I knew there would be a famine in Scotland, and I knew there would be a great deal of suffering because of the Jacobite uprising. I…I knew that the Battle of Culloden would happen. I knew your tartans and your books would be taken away.” Jenny said nothing. “I…I knew all of it because…I’m not…from this time.” Jenny’s eyes narrowed in confusion. “I was born on October twentieth in the year 1918. Two hundred years from now.” Jenny looked away, bewildered, fixing her gaze on the floor. “I was on holiday in Inverness in the year 1945, and I came upon the standing stones at Craigh Na Dun. When I touched the stone…I fell through time.”

Claire paused to let her process, and Jenny kept her gaze on the ground. “Yer telling me yer…from the future.”

“Yes. Believe me, I know how it sounds. But it’s true. I swear it on the life of my child.” Jenny’s face whipped up at that, incredulous and horrified. “You know I wouldn't say that lightly.”

Jenny stood up and paced away from the bed. “At Cranesmuir…the trial…”

“I’m not a witch,” Claire interjected, desperate, pleading. “I swear that’s not what this is, Jenny. Jamie asked me the same thing right afterwards, and that’s the day I told him the truth. I have a scar on my arm that they thought to be the Devil’s mark. It’s called a vaccine. It’s for smallpox. In my time vaccines make it so that you can’t contract certain diseases. So when he asked about it I told him.”

Claire pulled down her shift from the collar, revealing the small scar on her shoulder. Jenny stared silently at the mark, her eyes widening with horror.

She doesn’t believe me. She’s going to start screaming “Witch” any second. She doesn’t believe me.

“I fell through the stones by accident,” Claire continued desperately. “I didn’t do anything to make it happen, I didn’t conjure anything, because I’m not a witch. I was just…in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or perhaps the right place at the right time.” Claire smiled in spite of her uneasiness, trying to use her and Jamie’s love to put Jenny’s mind at ease. “I’ve come to think of it as the latter. Jamie…that day…he took me back to the stones. He…was prepared to let me go. To send me back to my time. He loved me so much that he was prepared to let me go. But I…I couldn’t leave him.”

Jenny was unreadable.

“I…I gave up everything to be with him. I…I had a husband in 1945.” She held up her left hand, showing the gold band. “I spent so long trying to get back to him that I hadn’t even realized that I’d fallen in love with Jamie. Until he let me make the choice between the two of them and I…I had to choose Jamie. I gave up my entire life to stay here with him. And he…he accepted me for who I was, even if he couldn’t understand it.” Claire waited for her to say something, but she still wouldn’t.

“Jenny, please say something…I don’t know what else to say…I had to tell you. Jamie was the love of my life, but you are my sister. The closest friend I’ve ever had. I owe you my life and the life of my child. I trust you so deeply, and I love you so much.” Claire stood up and stepped toward her. “Please.”

Jenny put her hands on her hips. “Well…it does explain a lot.”

“Do…you believe me?”

Jenny sighed and finally looked up at her. “I don’t want to. My head is screaming at me not to.” Claire swallowed thickly. “But my heart is telling me I should.”

“I would never, ever lie to you Jenny.”

“Well apparently ye have been.”

“I’m sorry…truly…but it was so complicated, and I didn’t want to frighten you or make you think I was a witch…but you’ve become this enormous part of my life. I couldn’t hide it from you anymore.” Jenny swallowed, and Claire continued. “What reason would I have to make this up? And you know me Jenny. If I were a witch don’t you think you would have seen by now? Don’t you think I…I would never have let anything happen to Faith, or Jamie, or Brianna?”

“The fits she’s having…”

“Not the work of the Devil. Jenny please…” Claire was starting to panic. “They’re not…my fault.” Claire’s voice broke. Of course they were her fault; they were the result of a bad delivery. But it’s not like she wanted it to happen. “It’s common for people to think that, but in my time we know them to be called seizures, a symptom of a disease called epilepsy. It’s just a dysfunction of the brain, it has no supernatural cause.” Jenny looked away again. “Jenny, please! You know me! How could you possibly think I would inflict harm on my child? On Jamie’s child?”

“Ye’re standing there swearing on the life of yer child!” Jenny shouted. “What would ye like me to make of that?”

“That I’m telling the truth,” Claire pleaded, stepping closer to her. “You know me, Jenny. Jamie knew me. I’m not…evil. You have to believe at least that.”

Jenny looked up at her again, assessing her for a moment. “No…I ken that, at least.”

Claire sighed with relief. “Then you believe I’m not a witch in league with the Devil.”

Jenny’s jaw hardened, but she relented. “Yes, I believe ye. Against all better judgment I believe ye.”

“You once said to me that love forces a person to choose. That it makes you do things you never thought you could do before. You said that of the love we both bore your brother. Surely the same applies for the love you bear your sister?”

Jenny sighed, looking at the ceiling as she did so, and then returned her eyes to Claire. “Aye. It does.”

“Thank you, Jenny, thank you…”

She went to embrace her, but Jenny took a step back. “Not…just yet.”

Claire stiffened and straightened. “Yes…I…I’m sorry.”

“My brother loved ye more than I’ve ever seen a man love a woman,” Jenny began. “It’d be easy enough to say ye’d bewitched him. But I ken my brother. He was pig headed and stubborn…but he was a good man. Honorable. The love he bore you was the purest I’d ever seen.” Silent tears slipped out of Claire’s eyes. “He knew in his heart that ye were a good woman, even after ye told him all this madness. Now we didn’t always agree…but if Jamie trusted someone then they were pretty damned special. And I knew that. I tried my hardest not to like you when ye showed up that first time at Lallybroch. But I knew. It wasna long before I’d grown to trust ye fer myself and no’ fer my brother. I started to see fer myself how ye were special.” Jenny seemed to be blinking back tears. “Now, I love you, Claire. I do. And no’ because yer my brother’s wife. That’s part of it, o’ course, but I love you now separate from all that. I love you because ye’re my sister. And I believe ye. But I canna help but feel as if I’ve been betrayed.”

“Jenny, I’m so sorry…truly. I wanted to tell you sooner, but it just never seemed like the right time. I promise you, no more secrets.”

“Swear to me, Claire. Nothing but the truth between us ever again. From you as well as from me.”

“I swear, Jenny. On everything I hold dear, I swear. Nothing but the truth. No secrets.”

Jenny nodded curtly. “Good.”

Claire smiled weakly, then strengthened her resolve again. “There’s…one more thing.” Claire sat down on the bed again, knowing this would be too difficult to talk about standing. Jenny didn’t move. “The promise I made Jamie. Remember before Brianna was born, I told you that being pregnant was a…a caveat of that promise.”

“Aye, I remember.”

“That promise…Jamie made me promise that if the time ever came that I…that I would go back through the stones. To my own time. Back to…my first husband. He said he wanted me to be able to go back to a man that loved me. He wanted to know I’d be cared for. At Culloden, I was afraid he would ask that of me. But he didn’t. He said he wanted me to…to take care of Fergus, and you.” Her voice broke as she looked up at Jenny. “For us to find…peace in each other. He wanted me to watch his nieces and nephews grow, to watch his namesake grow into his role as Laird.” Jenny’s eyes were teary as well. “But I knew…he would change his mind if he knew I was with child. The way the last birth had been…pregnancy is incredibly dangerous for me now, but it’s a danger that could be nearly eliminated if I was in my own time, with modern medicine. But I…I didn’t want to go. If he’d survived the battle, and I’d gone back…I’d never see him again. And even if he…didn’t.” She took a shuddery breath. “Lallybroch was my home. I couldn’t leave Fergus, I couldn’t leave you, Jamie’s family. So I…didn’t tell him about the baby. 

“And maybe I should have. Perhaps I should have wanted to go back. Brianna’s birth would have been almost painless, we never would have come as close to death as we did. She likely wouldn't have seizures, and even if she did, there would be doctors to help her. When I was laying there giving birth to Brianna, feeling my life…slipping away from me, so certain that she was already dead…I regretted it, so terribly. I felt guilty when we spoke of it before she was born…but in that moment I felt like the most horrible, selfish, wicked woman.” She paused to wipe the tears off her face. “Every day I’m…haunted by the thought of him watching me suffer that birth, watching Brianna suffer as she is now…and knowing that it’s because I lied to him.”

Claire covered her face with her hands, resting her elbows on her knees. Jenny finally moved, crossing to the bed and sitting down beside her. “I canna say if ye would have been better off in yer own time. Though, if I’d have known back when ye were in labor and I was pulling the bairn out of ye myself, I think I’d have thought so. But Claire…” Jenny put a hand on her back. “Having ye here…having the bairn here…it’s like having my brother wi’ me still. And I ken what I said, I love you separate from being my brother’s wife. That’s still true. It’s just…I canna imagine losing ye both at once. You…you’d be lost to us forever if ye’d…gone back. Right?”

“Yes,” Claire said, moving her hands from her face to under her chin.

“Well then…consider me a horrible, selfish, wicked woman myself.” Claire turned her head to look at her. “If it were up to me I wouldnae let him send ye back. The birth could have killed ye both, I ken that well enough. But if there was even a chance that ye’d both survive, which clearly there was, I wouldnae let ye go back. Pig headed brother be damned.” Claire smiled tearily at this. “I’m…I’m glad ye didna tell him. Lallybroch needs you. Fergus needs you. And…as much as I didna ken it at the time, I needed a sister.”

Fresh tears sprang from Claire’s eyes. “Can I…hug you now?”

Jenny rolled her eyes. “Come here, ye great weepy fool.” Claire sat up straight and pulled Jenny into a tight embrace.

“Thank you,” Claire whispered. “Thank you, Jenny.”

Jenny sighed. “I always kent my brother would give me grey hairs early on,” she said. “But ye’ve certainly done a fine job taking his place in that task.” Claire chuckled, pulling away so she could look at her. “Are ye planning on telling Ian?” Jenny said, cocking an eyebrow.

“I was. I wanted to tell you first, but he should know, too.” Jenny nodded. “You can tell him, if you’d like.”

“I will, then.” Jenny glanced over at the cot. “Will ye ever tell Brianna?”

Claire followed her gaze, smiling at the sight of that bright red hair, the only thing clearly visible among the bundle of white blankets. “I will someday. When she’s old enough to understand.”

“Would ye…would ye consider taking her back wi’ ye, to see yer fancy healers?” Jenny said, keeping her gaze on Brianna.

Claire’s brows furrowed in thought. “I…I hadn’t thought about it. I’m not even sure if she could do it. I don’t…know how it works.”

“But if ye knew she could, and she needed to, fer her health. Would ye?”

Claire’s heart was being pulled in two directions, but she knew the answer. “If I knew her life was in danger, and that was the only solution, then yes.” They both kept staring at her. “But like I said…I don’t know if it’s possible.

“Right,” Jenny said, finally turning back to Claire. “I dinna ken why I asked. Maybe I…” Her voice trailed off.

“What?” Claire asked, looking at her.

“I don’t want ye to feel like yer trapped here. I ken what I said about needing ye here, and by God it is true. But if…Heaven forbid,” Jenny crossed herself. “The lass were dying, I’d want ye to take her away from here. Even if…even if it meant I’d never see either of you again.”

“Oh, Jenny.” Claire pulled her into another embrace. Claire was reminded of how Jamie had, too, been prepared to let her go, her and their child. She’d been carrying Faith when he’d made her promise. He’d have watched them both go through the stones, never to be seen again, if it would have saved their lives. And now Jenny pledged the same.

Frasers and their damnable honor.

Claire released Jenny and returned to Brianna’s side.

“Are ye goin’ tae sleep standing up, then?” Jenny said.

“I don’t think I’ll sleep at all,” Claire admitted. “I don’t think I should. After a seizure, breathing and pulse should be constantly monitored.”

“Then show me how to do it, and you can sleep.”

“Jenny, you have your own young children. You need your rest as much as I do.”

“Then we’ll take shifts. Same as we did when we were watching over you on yer deathbed. I’ll go first, then I’ll get Ian, then he’ll wake ye up and ye can watch her in the wee hours of the morning. And if anything happens before then, someone will wake ye.”

Claire smiled. “You’d do that? You and Ian?”

“Ye’re family. Both of you. I’ll go fetch Ian.” Without another word, Jenny was off.

Claire bent down and pressed her lips to Brianna’s soft, warm head.

“She’ll be alright, Jamie,” she whispered. “I swear to you. I will do anything to make sure that your daughter is alright.”

Then suddenly, as if in a dream, a little smile appeared on Brianna’s sleeping face. Claire’s heart nearly stopped. A single tear tear trickled down her cheek as she captured this moment in her memory and her heart forever. She knew full well that babies did not smile out of joy until after the first few months of their life, so there was only one other explanation.

“Hello, Jamie,” she whispered reverently, knowing in the very depth of her soul that he could hear her, because he was here with them, right now.

#outlander #outlander fanfic #outlander fanfiction #outlander au #claire fraser #claire beauchamp #jamie fraser #brianna fraser #brianna randall #jenny murray #jenny fraser murray

[hoopdiddies]

I'm Not Over You // Ben Hardy x Reader (Part 5)

A/N: Oh gosh, my stomach hurts. Question: Was it unlawful of me to pour the milk in before the cereal?

Anyway, enjoy part 5, I'll get to writing 6 by the time the bacteria in my digestive tract stop roughhousing uwu

Summary: You had always loved Ben ever since you two met in university and became the best of friends. That feeling went out like a candle flame when the two of you parted ways until he re-entered your life...but this time with someone who has already occupied his heart.

Warnings: Mentions of drinking and alcohol, angst, fluff and (jealousy?)

Word count: 3177 (oops?)

Tags: @mickmoon @ziggyspurplehaze I honestly need more people to permanently tag in this series, please let me know 😁

Part 4

Part 3

Part 2

Part 1

"What the hell, Y/N? Did you lose your way into the place?" One of your colleagues snigger at your delay in finding them. Eager to get this night done, you brush off his comment and pull out a seat next to him, finding yourself looking over where Ben is seated. Not a text or a call from him that would have 'warned' you that he'd be out for a drink in the exact same place you thought would help you eradicate 'that' problem. In hopes he wouldn't catch you or take heed of your presence, you turn away and participate in ordering your drinks, suppressing the urge to glance over your shoulder and blow your cover.

The waiter arrives with your orders and the rest holler in satisfaction as he distributes your drinks. You've ordered a martini but just because you decided to start with something light doesn't mean you'll stick with it in the following hours. It's just one night anyway, what have you got to lose?

Later on, Joe arrives at the pub alone, scrutinizing the place from top to bottom before marching in, straightening the collar of his button up shirt as his eyes rove every occupied table just to find you. To your demise, a large hand rests upon Joe's shoulder and spins him around, the hand belonging to an astonished Ben with a glass of whiskey in hand. "Mate! You're here!"

Joe's nonchalant expression flits into a surprised one at that, a little concerned on the inside since he knows you're here as well and he hasn't found you yet. "Ben, buddy! Great to see you again. " He throws an arm around Ben and pats his chest.

"You're back in London, what brings you here?" Ben asks, raising a thick, disheveled brow at him. Joe trails his bottom lip subtly with his finger as he debates on telling the truth or not, taking in account that you're here with your colleagues and nowhere did you mention anything about being with Ben.

But he just doesn't feel like lying to him, and so with a sincere apology reserved for you, he replies, "Y/N invited me over."

The crinkles under Ben's eyes fade out and he allows a stiffened sigh to slip past his lips with almost nothing more to add. "She's here?"

Joe nods as a matter of fact

"You two on a date?" The question sounds forced coming from Ben and Joe did not see that coming. He had forgotten that you had projected a fake relationship with him during Ben's birthday and now it came back hitting him like a mallet. He scratches the bridge of his nose awkwardly, avoiding Ben's scouring gaze. "Y-yeah, I gotta go find her, bud. We'll catch you later." In utter haste, Joe firmly pats Ben's shoulder before whisking past him to continue his search for you, leaving Ben standing a feet away from his own table, chewing over his thoughts. He snaps out and returns to his own circle, prompted to turn his head around the place to find you.

"Yes, I need another one of this!" You demand bluntly, slamming the seventh shot glass you've drunk from on the table but not hard enough to shatter it. You really stuck to your thoughts about intending to subject yourself to intoxication. Although it's not the best way to let go of everything that's bugging you, it was tempting. And besides, a little fun wouldn't harm you entirely, right?

Three out of six of you have indeed succumb to the influence of alcohol, and the sober half is trying to get you momentary drunkards upright, one of which is you who is getting real squirmy. "Y/N, I think you've had enough." Debbie, one of your sober colleagues, stop you from getting another shot.

"I think nooot." Your speech is becoming slurred as you prop your elbows on the table, grinning mindlessly.

"Please, this isn't becoming-"

"Let me handle her." A certain redhead volunteers from behind you, making Debbie's brows perk up as she suddenly recognizes Joe.

"Hey. Um, sure. She's had too much already and it's concerning."

Joe nods with a crooked smile and peeks at you over your shoulder with his hands positioned on either side of your arms. "Y/N, hey. You alright? "

You whip your head at Joe too quickly and end up headbutting him by accident. The both of you yelp at the impact but you recover easily, your droopy eyes widening a little as you recognize Joe, who's rubbing and squinching from the bump. "Heyyy, you're late." You giggle and pinch his pale cheek, leaving a faint mark.

Joe chuckles softly yet briefly and he sweeps your ends of your hair off your shoulder. "I'm sorry, got stuck in traffic."

"That's not nice."

"Look, Y/N, you're drunk. I think I may have to skip joining your 'party' and take you out of here." He says, worry filling his eyes but you whine childishly and slump on your seat, a pout on your lips. "I just want one more shot, just one more, no more no less."

"Y/N, come on," he looks down at you in all seriousness and is not taking any of that drunken stubbornness tonight. You angle your head to one side, eyes heavy and skin flushed from the heat produced by all the drinking, staring plainly at Joe whose expression could serve as a plea to you.

You sigh inwardly. "Nope."

To your inconvenience, your adamancy would now lead to something unwanted, something Joe reluctantly just thought of. "Okay, I might not get you to budge. Your boyfriend can't make you, right?" Joe presses his lips together and his brows arch teasingly. You shoot a rather lazy yet baffled smirk at him and he shrugs apologetically. "But your best friend might." He turns around and marches to get Ben but of course, being drunk, it takes a good minute for Joe's plan to sink in to your brain.

Not a minute later, he returns true to his word with Ben looking uneasy from worrying. He had to willingly excuse himself from Rosy and his friends to come to Joe's 'rescue'. Ben asks politely if the chair next to you is taken and Debbie shakes her head, gesturing for Ben to sit down. He does yet despite with him and Joe flanking you, you remain hard-headed, snapping your squint at Ben who's got his arm positioned on your shoulder. "Oh. What are you doing here?" You put a mean emphasis on your words.

"I didn't know you were here as well, but regardless, you're sozzled."

"So? That's my problem." The drunk sass could never be any clearer.

Ben sighs and glances shortly at Joe who responds with a clueless shrug.

"I don't want to comment on that but please, you need to rest. You've had too much. " Squeezing the side of your arm gently, Ben tries to reason out with you. You roll your eyes at him deliberately, sniffling as you flick a finger at him. "This is just one night. Don't act like you-" you trail off for split second, feeling your stomach boil as nauseatic feeling hits you like an omen. Joe takes notice of the abrupt discomfort on your face and asks. "Y/N, is everything alright-" Restricting him from finishing his question, you push Joe and Ben aside and sprint to the lavatory, miraculously pinpointing it in spite of your current incapability to make a beeline. Fortunately, the stalls are flat-out empty and you shove one open, flipping the toilet seat up and vomiting into it.

Joe and Ben excuse themselves from your table and scurry to the women's room, considering to look away in advance in case the room is jam packed with girls which is not the case as of now.

"Anyone here?" With his head turned away, Joe asks indecisively to which he doesn't get a reply, affirming the bathroom's lack of users, except for you. He and Ben saunter in and call out for you. You've slumped up against the door after regurgitating, overcome with fatigue and sweat. You hear their murmurs but you don't bother to fish for their attention, however your heavy breathing would give you away, which it has.

Ben knocks on the door you're against, cooing your name before falling quiet and hearing your uncontrolled breathing pattern. He nods at Joe and slowly swings it open, your tired body following the movement of the door as it creaks ajar to reveal you. Joe scoops you up on your feet as Ben drapes your other arm around his neck, allowing your weight to be equally distributed. "That's it, we're really taking you home." Peering down at you, Ben softly reprimands. In his eyes, you were never one to have this kind of excess overwhelm you. He always knew you for occasionally turning down invitations to drinks and now you've got him wondering what goaded you to drink heavily.

"I think I should take it from here, buddy." Joe suggests, shifting your body closer to his.

"Mate, she's really limp. I need to-"

"Temporarily. You need to get back to your table and your girl. She must be wondering why you've taken so long."

Ben mulls over it and the redemption he would have had for not finding the time to hang out with you. He's conflicted between leaving to accompany his fiancee and staying to take care of you. But Joe's the 'boyfriend' and to him it would be unfair. And so with a sad sigh, he removes your arm from his shoulder and tips your head back to clear your flushed face of hair, nearly planting a kiss on your mouth by mistake– however agonizingly tempting for a moment– and wincing as he draws back to kiss your forehead, hoping Joe didn't notice which of course he did, and he's trying his best to prevent a smile from twitching on his lips.

"Take care of her, mate. I just wish she'd tell me what's wrong." He frowns, smoothing his hair back with his fingers.

"She'll tell you on her own terms."

"I suppose."

Joe displaces you from your weak stance and you let out an incoherent mumble as he lifts you up bridal style in his arms. He hands Ben a small smile before exiting the bathroom and briefly approaching your colleagues to tell them he's going to be taking you home. Debbie nods and wishes him luck, allowing Joe to leave.

He sets you down in the passenger seat of his car and buckles you in, at the same time making sure you're comfortable. Meanwhile, Ben makes it out just in time for Rosy to interrogate him. "Where have you been? And whatever you did, what took you so long?"

He closes his eyes for a mere fraction of a second and shakes his head, the jerking motion loosening the strands of hair he had combed back. He tugs his seat out, wishing to not feel obligated to answer for once. "I was just helping Joe with Y/N."

"She's here?" Rosy asks snappishly.

"For a supposed date with Joe." He exhales disappointingly, nodding at one of his mates as he takes his glass up to his lips to drink away.

Rosy rolls her eyes at Ben's sudden change of demeanor, oblivious to the reason he's discouraged.

With you curled up in his arms, Joe struggles to grab a hold onto the knob of your door. He teeters aimlessly in a desperate attempt to clip onto his balance, you being quite fidgety in his arms making it uneasy for him. "Okay Y/N, we're here. Let me just get the d-door." He finally lays his hands on the knob and twists the door open, nudging it wider with his shoulder and stumbling in with you. You're pretty much still conscious albeit it's not your own, self-controlled state of mind. You're just getting there.

Joe pauses in his tracks as he feels you yank on his collar. "What?" He asks, voiceless.

"Where's...Ben?"

"Probably still at the pub. Let's get you on the couch. I'm gonna get you a cup of...something." Between each suppressed grunt, Joe lays you down carefully on the fabric, adjusting his waistband and excusing himself to get you something to drink. You drop dead on your side and curl into a fetal position, your eyes bleary and fluttering shut at the beckon of sleep. Shortly after whipping up a glass of lukewarm water and some Aspirin to relieve you of a headache to come, Joe comes back with the items on a tray, finding you on your side, dozing off.

A mildly satisfied smile lingers upon his lips and he lays the tray on the coffee table before you, going back to the kitchen to prepare a towel to dry your face of sweat. He returns once again with a basin and just in time for a knock on the door to catch his ear. Placing the basin next to the tray, he dusts his hands together and slides them downwards his shirt in the act of drying them, answering the door and finding Ben with arms crossed impatiently behind it.

"What are you doing here?" Joe leans against the frame, making out his visit to be utterly unexpected.

"I just...is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's fallen asleep."

Ben hangs his head low for a brief pause before shifting on his footing. "Mind if I get in?" Half expecting Joe to decline, he does otherwise, stepping aside for Ben to enter. He thanks Joe quietly and proceeds to find you knocked out real good on the couch. Softened by how angelic you look in your drunken slumber, Ben gets down on his knees before you, laying the back of his hand on your forehead to check whether you've caught the flu or something. Joe approaches his side with arms crossed. "She's alright, Ben. Might get a hangover tomorrow but really, she's okay."

Ben falls silent for a while as he continues to observe you, your delicate features causing a smile to pull on his plump lips. "It's crazy. I had to leave ahead of Rosy and the guys just to check on her."

"You're making it sound like a bad thing, bud."

"No," Ben heaves out an audible exhale, taking the free space at the end of the couch, "well, maybe. But my point is that I've been too busy for a week that I haven't been completely in touch with Y/N. I want to make it up to her. You wouldn't mind that, would you?"

Joe descends on the chair opposite of Ben, throwing his right leg over his left. "What do you mean?"

"You wouldn't mind me hanging out with her, for possibly a whole day, right? "

And with that, Joe gets the point. Once again, for the second time tonight, he forgets about the charade you both are still up to and it just really dawns on him oftentimes that you're in this pretend relationship with him to compensate for what you mistakenly said to Ben the other night. "Yeah, no. I wouldn't mind. But let me ask you a question. It may be personal but don't take it as an offense from me," Joe shifts on his seat, resting his hands firm on the armrest, "was there ever a time you felt something different towards her?"

As if looking back on something lost, Ben sighs and chuckles to himself, a chuckle enigmatic in feeling. "Mate, chill, okay? I'm just her friend."

"I'm not jealous. Just curious. In the time you've known each other, have you ever felt something for her at one point?"

Uncertain but obliged to answer, Ben interlaces his fingers together and talks just loud enough for Joe to make out. "Homecoming."

"Homecoming?"

"Yeah," he breathes out, stealing a quick glimpse of you and remembering how similar you look during that night, "I had another a girl with me that night but when Y/N entered the room...something just snapped in me. She looked...divine." Chuckling to himself, he blinks rapidly and continues. "I easily wondered why I didn't ask her in the first place."

"Well you should've, you clueless bastard." Joe grumbles inaudibly enough to go unheard and he's got a hand for that skill. Ben shifts on his end and presses his lips together, doing his very best not to stare at you long enough to anger Joe.

"By the way, mate. You're invited to my wedding." With the words coming unanticipated from Ben himself, Joe coughs harshly as a reaction, his eyes growing wider by the minute at the news. "Wedding- you've proposed?" He's trying his hardest not to shriek and wake you up.

"Yeah? I thought you- I thought Y/N had already told you."

"No she did nothing of the sort!" To make it more effective, Joe yells voiclessly, gesticulating at the same time. It stuns Ben for a second that you didn't tell him– Joe being your 'new confidant' and all– but recovers soon enough to make it more clearer. "Well now you know."

In Joe's mind, that's probably the reason why you've gone heavy tonight at the pub, and he's correct. It affected you the most, second being your departure for medical school. He was right for gaining the prospect that Ben was going to go for it the night you two had left his birthday early. Joe regains his composure and rises from his seat, ruffling Ben's golden locks which have been at their floppiest tonight, also finding it hard to utter the words in his head. "That's great, buddy. That's just...amazing." He couldn't even articulate 'amazing' without thinking of your reaction when you had known first.

Ben nods, his mouth twitching a tad, his voice cutting deeper and hoarser. "Thanks, mate."

Remembering that you haven't had dinner yet, Joe decides to have Ben look after you as he goes out to buy you something to eat by the time you wake up. Ben inclines to it, even if it takes Joe the entire night to get you food. Trusting you in his temporary care, Joe rubs Ben's shoulder and leaves him to it for half an hour at max.

By the second Joe closes the door, Ben gets up with the incentive and takes the damp cloth from the basin on the coffee table, tenderly sweeping strands of hair away from your face, his refined touch making you sensitive and shudder lightly on the couch.

He wipes your forehead and the warm contact of the cloth elicits a quick groan from your throat, the pout forming on your lips prompting Ben to grin ridiculously. He swallows and dares to lower his forehead onto yours with the cloth still in his clutch, the warm touch of his skin on yours sending a sensation through your unconscious body, bringing a lone tear to trickle down your cheek. He whispers to you in the frailest tone he hasn't spoken in in a while, squeezing his eyes shut in the process.

"Please, tell me what's hurting you..."

#queen #borhap #ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #borhap cast #borhap cast x reader #borhap imagine

[hearteyes-for-killmonger]

House Rules

Part 9

So Flu realized quick that he wasn't getting into her room and immediately started his back up plan setting up his cameras. He's practiced that's why he was so quick.. Erik, like all y'all wants blood. Y/N is still at Erik's house and that's where we are. Also, I'm trying something new. Tagging in the replies so bare with me. Didn't work out.

Warnings: Graphic violence ahead.

Part 10: Killmonger

Swift tagged along with Rell and Erik and they rolled pass Flu's identified apartment. According to the activity lifted from his phone's GPS signal, he was on the move and fast which meant he'd gotten Erik's clear threat. They followed his trail to the bank where they found him waiting behind a red truck in a grey Mitsubishi RVR at the ATM's drive thru.

"He's trying to run," Rell mumbled, eyes fixed on Flu in his vehicle. Neither of them were letting that happen.

"What a dumbass. He doesn't know we can track this. Nigga.. we see you," Swift scoffed parking the car. Any use of his credit card or phone they'd automatically see. Any call he made, they'd hear. Erik had Flu's bank account numbers, social security number, address, emails, messages.. and he planned to wire all the nigga's money to an account for the three of them to split evenly. After all, he wouldn't be needing it anymore. Just then, the red truck left and it was Flu's turn at the ATM.

"I'm going," Erik said sliding his gun into the band of his shorts. Cautious not to be spotted in Flu's rearview mirrors he crept casually but quickly to the SUV. Flu's window was down and the doors were unlocked as he leaned from the car to get closer to the kiosk. To Erik's joy, this allowed him to open the door quickly and slide into the passenger seat, aiming his gun smoothly at Flu's side. His face immediately snapped to the right, eyes widening in fearful recognition.

"Drive away," Erik commanded in a voice that was low but firm. Flu's hesitation made Erik press the cold metal barrel into his side ready to blow his kidney, sure that on camera it'd look like they were sitting there casually. Erik laughed quietly watching Flu's fear intensify. For all this nigga knew he was absolutely crazy, but Erik knew exactly what he was doing.

"Nigga, I'll shoot yo ugly ass right here if I have to and watch you bleed out. I said, Drive. Off." The smile on Erik's face never touched his dark eyes as the car rolled forward and made a turn pass a McDonald's before hopping on the main street.

"Drive home."

Erik's face turned to stone and the nigga was damn near shaking, nervously trying to catch the eye of any driver he passed. He was about as subtle as the bulky ass coat hook he put in Y/N's bathroom and still failed to draw the necessary attention.

"Gimme the phone." Erik snatched and pocketed the device, grabbing the keys before hopping out.

"Why don't you show me how you live, Shy'Dell." Erik jutted his chin toward the building and Flu shook his head regretfully, recognizing the familiar line he'd used on Y/N.

"I'm good." He averted his eyes like he had a choice and Erik had to remind himself that he was a professional. No, he couldn't shoot this nigga in broad daylight in front of the building. That'd be sloppy and anticlimactic.

"Walk yo stupid ass in the building," Erik bit back, palming the gun in his waistband. They took the elevator which rose slowly, Erik's narrowed eyes never leaving Flu and Flu's eyes looking anywhere but at Erik. Then in the hall, Flu turned.. his hands raised in a peace offering.

"Look man.. Your girl?.. I don't even have anything on her. I ain't touch her. Nothi--"

"Nigga. Keep walking," Erik snapped, his lip twisting in disgust. He waited for Flu to turn and walk to the apartment on his own and Flu pulled out his house key, missing the keyhole on the first couple attempts due to the fact that his hands were shaking. His eyes darted to the staircase, but Erik silently dared him to attempt outrunning a bullet. With a finger on his trigger, Erik followed him inside ready for anything to pop off. There wasn't much there in terms of furniture.

"Sit," Erik waved his gun to one of the few folding chairs that sat in the nearly empty living room. The only other objects in the room were a tv and an air mattress, dicey as hell. "Where's your second location? This ain't it."

"My what? I don--"

"If you like your brain inside your skull you'll speak the fuck up." Flu looked to be genuinely clueless and Erik was amazed. If he didn't already know this nigga was a bold liar, he may have believed him.

"Keep this up, your mama finna get a copy of every video you ever made."

"This all I have man I swear on my mama I don't have anything else!"

Erik sneered. Disrespectful ass nigga. Suddenly, his phone rang.

"We're over at the second apartment, I'm going through his shit now." Swift was in.

"The fuck?! Oh hell nah this nigga crazy as hell." Rell wasn't squeamish so it had to be some bullshit.

"This sick bastard, so many hours of him and women, I wouldn't be surprised if.. He is. He's been selling the footage online. Kill, this shit it graphic."

"Kill his pages and delete the footage. Anything you can trace, destroy it." Flu's expression sobered and Erik knew it was in that moment Flu realized he fucked up.

"Got it. And Kill.. Wait for us. Don't start until we get there, you get messy when it's personal. Thirty minutes."

Click.

"...That wasn't my place, I swear. This is the only pl--" SHMACK! The gun whipped across Flu's cheekbone, snapping it to the right and Erik rolled his shoulders.

"I-I didn't touch that girl, I swe--" SHMACK! The gun flew across Flu's other cheek with equal strength causing him to spit blood. No one said don't fuck him up a bit. It felt good.

"You gone stand there like you ain't as bad as me? Really?! Look at you right now. If I'm a monster then it takes one to know one," Flu spat.

"Maybe," he nodded. "You gone whoop ma ass about it? Gone 'head." He squatted, putting himself in swinging distance, but the man ain't move. "Yo bitch ass specifically happened to fuck with what's mine, that's where you lost."

Flu's face twitched. He obviously ain't like feeling powerless and mocked. He took a breath as if choosing his next words carefully, blood still painting his lip. His face was swelling and it was nowhere near the pain he deserved.

"Y/N. Why her?" It was the main question on Erik's mind. In a way, he already knew the answer, but he needed to hear it from the source.

"Ugh,” Flu groaned, “Damn.. I don't know, I guess she seemed lonely. I was drawn to her."

"Fuck this shit," Erik mumbled pushing the barrel of the gun directly against Flu's temple.

"Look. Dammit. She was naive and easy to manipulate. Is that what you wanna hear? She was an easy bitch and it woulda been dumb not to take advantage of something like that."

"Something..," Erik scoffs recalling the countless killers he'd known to use a similar logic, himself included. It made him sick to compare himself to the monster before him. "Yeah, it's real easy to categorize a person as a something. Makes it easier to hurt 'em when you can forget that they're people with their own shit to deal with in life. That way you can convince yourself they don't matter.."

"So you a therapist now? Is that how this works? How many people you kill like this? What about their lives?"

“Oh, I leave most of the people I kill their dignity when it ain’t personal. You though? Nah.”

For the rest of the time, they remained in silence, Erik shushing Flu whenever he tried to speak. Erik ain’t wanna hear shit else the nigga had to say. Finally, the apartment door opened and Flu sat there trying his damndest to look harmless.

"You can cut the shit, Shy'Dell, you know you're not leaving here alive. You never were."

“Kill, we brought the tools,” Swift called carrying a suitcase. Rell rolled a white tarpe out over the beige carpet earning a strong stare from Flu before he made a run for the door. Before he could get a second step away, a blade flew plunging into his leg. His knee buckled and a second blade hit his other leg taking him down to the ground.

“I think all the lies you be telling got yo ass confused, thinkin I don’t mean the shit I be saying.” Erik examined the clean machete Swift removed from the suitcase. This vendetta went beyond guns. “Get ya ass up and sit in the fuckin chair,” he growled, but Flu kept crawling like a roach toward the door. He had to pick the nigga up and sit him in the chair like a child while Swift and Rell stood back, looking on expressionless.

“All ya shit is gone nigga. Ya tapes, ya cameras, ya money. You ain’t got shit. You AIN’T shit. You finna die in this fuckin hellhole and for what? Was it worth it?”

“..........Maybe,” Flu spoke in his boldest move yet.

“See it’s weirdass niggas like this, I don’t claim. This some caucasian shit,” Rell said from behind, Swift verbally agreeing.

“Can y’all like.. shut the fuck up? I’m tryna murk this muhfucka,” Erik shrugged, but high-key he agreed. After gagging Flu and taping his mouth for good measure, he commanded him to strip down butt naked.

“No wonder you gets no play,” Swift deadpanned staring at the minidick Flu was packing. It was anticlimactic, Erik wanted to make a show of cutting the nigga dick off but wasn’t much there to begin with.

“Now I know how disappointed y’all be feelin,” Erik cracked causing Swift to lose it in a snickering fit. “..But then some of y’all still fuck anyway.. so I’m a chop this muhfucka regardless.” Swift, still snickering, shook her head content to watch as the machete flew. Erik made sure the balls came off too and he was glad for the tarpe.. it was messy and Swift turned on the TV to drown out the muffled agonized screams, a slight smirk on her face. She was just as sadistic as he was when it came to sexual predators and sexual violence. To her, it was one of the worst possible crimes.. something he suspected she’d experienced personally though he’d never ask out of respect for her.

The fingers were next, cutting them off of one hand all at once then the other. By the first cut, Flu’s eyes were glued shut, thick tears streaming down his face. Erik was shocked he was still conscious. He had to laugh, the nigga did say it was worth it. Meanwhile Rell waited to collect the parts as the second set of fingers were hacked off at the top knuckle.

“That’s for touching shit that ain’t yours to touch. Something you’ll never do again,” Erik sighed.

“Beat Bobby Flay, I love this show,” Swift perked from behind catching Erik off guard, but he recovered quickly, returning his attention to Flu.

“Still worth it?” Erik eyed Flu’s greying face as the blood drained from it. He was losing a lot of blood quickly. Erik had to hurry it along. This time Flu shook his head ‘no’ and Erik poked out his bottom lip. The nigga did learn something, albeit it was too late. The legs were next. Erik cut them off cleanly at the joints, cutting them smaller at the knees, not caring if the nigga died at this point. Then the arms at the shoulder and elbow. Finally, his head. When he was satisfied with his work, he pulled the change of clothes packed for him via Swift and gave her a kiss on the cheek watching her smile spread before changing. He knew she had a slight thing for him, but she’d never speak on it and he was thankful for that, though he wouldn’t tell her.

“You check for cameras and shit,” he told her before turning to Rell who’d already started cleaning. He was fast as hell. “You need me to cut this shit up smaller?”

“Nah, smaller pieces are harder to move, that’s why I be glad when you use the guns. It’s noisier, but there’s less mess to clean.”

“My bad bruh.”

---

Erik's home is beautiful, but it can also get very dark and that's a little creepy when you're all alone. Once it gets dark out, you have to find and turn on all of the house lights. The next thing is to search and rescue your sex toys. You don't really want to snoop through the man's house because it's rude and bad form, besides he'll probably give you the full tour when he returns. However, the temptation is great considering he has something that belongs to you. You search his drawers, his closet, under his bed, and find nothing but the knowledge that he's extremely organized. The next empty bedroom yields no results either. Then there's a room that's locked and you check around but can't find the key. Knowing how extra Erik is, he probably stored your toys in there. Speak of the devil, your phone rings and it's him.

"I'm on the way, you need something from anywhere?" Yeah, you and this room key.

"Nope, just come on back," you gesture though he can't see you.

"Aight. You okay?"

For some reason that question hit hard. The genuine consideration and care in his voice, it melts something in you, making your chest heat.

"Yeah.. I'm okay.. Are you okay?"

"Me? I'm fine, angelcakes."

There it goes again, that heat radiating through your body, forming a line of hot energy connecting your thumping heart to your jumping vagina.

"You need me to stay on the line," he asks when you don't hang up and you want to say yes, but you also don't want to worry him to make him think you're afraid. You're anxious, sure, but not really afraid.

"Um, nah I'll see you when you get back," you say before hanging up. It's strange how it feels like you're waiting for him as if he's your black and white TV husband, the Ricky to your Lucy. You return to your room and change from the towel into blue jersey shorts and a grey t-shirt, something to sleep in, before heading back down the stairs to explore a bit more. Amazingly, you stumble upon an outdoor pool that's on the back deck. If you'd known this was here, you'd have certainly been chilling out here all day. But maybe you'll have tomorrow to take a dip after work.. That is, if you don't have to go back home tomorrow.

It's only about fifteen minutes later when Erik pulls up and you're curled on the couch, doing some online reading. The key in the door steals your attention and you're anticipating his return a little too eagerly. Calm down weirdo, you tell yourself before the door swings open. He's changed his clothes. Does that mean he went to another pussy appointment before he came back? Not that it's unlike him, but that's still pretty damn cold if he did that today when he was supposed to be checking your apartment. He follows your eyes down to his clothes and immediately rolls his eyes.

"I always carry spare clothes just in case I make a mess and I made a mess today... not from fuckin. Damn, you think I'm that bad?"

"I mean, I didn't say anything to you, but I hoped you weren't."

"You thought it.. and I'm not. I wouldn't do that shit, not when your safety is on the line. You need a better perception of me."

"Maybe.. So how was it, is it safe to go back?"

"Nah, I called some professionals to check it out and they found a bunch of cameras and shit," he says dropping his keys on the table and taking a seat next to you on the couch where he stretches out. "They're gonna take a while to fully remove, you know how it go. You might have to stay here a bit longer until they're all located and gone. Few days maybe.. Hope that's okay."

"Cameras? Wow, I mean... As long as they're removed. How much did they ask for?"

"Don't worry about that, it's on me. Part of my duty in taking care of you."

Taking care of me. Yeah that's exactly what he's been doing isn't it. It's so strange how this arrangement just happened to come about, like destiny if you believe in such a thing.

"..I really do hate that guy, Flu. I don't get how someone could be that sick and evil," you shake your head sitting down your phone and Erik adjusts, pulling your shoulders so your head falls against his chest, his palm cradling your head. Your eyes close and instantly you're calm enough to drift off into a deep sleep.

"Don't worry about him. He's a dumbass and random selection will take care of him. You just rest now."

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