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cl0udpup · 1 year

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Autism Spectrum Quotient

For anyone following me on Twitter, you'd notice I interact with autistic people constantly, respond with strong relation to autistic experiences, agree with many "if you do ___ you may be autistic." Yet, online testing has been unclear.

I haven't brought it up to my therapist yet, as I just went through the ADHD assessment process (diagnosed, inattentive type.) I've had this anxiety like, I don't want my care team to think I'm like... trying to just collect diagnoses. No, I'm just desperate to understand myself and hopefully plan accordingly so the next half of my life can be a bit less chaotic than the first.

So, I wanted to take and post my results from the tests on embrace-autism.com here. I'll be posting my thought process as I go through the questions, because so much of it leaves me wholly confused, and unsure of what the questions mean. Maybe writing it all out will help me understand, or maybe others can chime in and help clarify, or give their opinion.

Questions and responses behind the cut. I answered middle of the road for a majority of questions, as many of them were vague or confusing. There were only a few definitely yes or definitely no.

RESULTS

Score: 32

Score Analysis: “The AQ doesn’t really offer much insight into specific autistic traits, as it only outputs a single score. Any scores of 26 or greater indicate the presence of autistic traits; the higher the score, the more autistic traits you have.

Furthermore, 79.3% of autistic people score 32 or higher (whereas only 2% of controls do), so scores of 32 and above are particularly significant.

The AQ is particularly sensitive in distinguishing between autistic and non-autistic adult females, as 92.3% of autistic females scored 32 or higher (compared to 1% of the control group).

Do note that no single test is conclusive, and not every autistic person necessarily scores above the defined threshold on each test. If you score low on the AQ but still think you could be autistic, try taking a few other autism tests.

1. I prefer to do things with others rather than on my own.

Well, I work alone, and need quiet, solitude, and privacy to complete tasks. Including hobbies, like if someone is around when I'm trying to make art, I get anxious and distracted. If someone is on the same page as me, focusing on the same thing, and participating together (not just talking and ignoring the task at hand,) I'm happy. As for things I have trauma around, like going somewhere alone that I've been harassed or assaulted before, I need a partner.So I guess I'll say slightly disagree?

2. I prefer to do things the same way over and over again.

Like what? I'm so bad with being asked vague questions on the spot. I need details, I can't always think up relevant examples on my own. I literally have no idea what this is referring to.

3. If I try to imagine something, I find it very easy to create a picture in my mind.

Definitely agree.

4. I frequently get so strongly absorbed in one thing, I lose sight of other things.

Definitely agree.

5. I often notice small sounds when others do not.

Definitely agree.

6. I usually notice car number plates or similar strings of information.

I am noticing patterns constantly. Def agree.

7. Other people frequently tell me what I've said is impolite, even though I think it's polite.

I don't remember this ever happening. I typically try really hard to make sure everyone is comfortable, not upset, I am hyperaware of others feelings, to the point of having to ask clarifying questions to be sure things are okay. So, I'm typically very cautious with what I say.

Outside of that, there are situational behaviors I have been told are rude, or social conventions I don't subscribe to, so they fly past my radar for "things that could make someone uncomfortable." Those things I'm like, wait, why is that inappropriate, that doesn't make any sense.

8. When reading a story, I can easily imagine what the characters might look like.

I don't always find that to be necessary information, but as stated before, if I wanted to I can create images in my mind. Usually if I'm curious I'll just google what they look like lol.

9. I am fascinated by dates.

Uh, yeah, huge astrology nerd over here, and also love pattern recognition.

10. In a social group, I can easily keep track of several different people's conversations.

So like, at a family gathering, when uncle & aunt are talking about their new dog at one side of the table, and cousin is talking about graduating next year, and grandma is talking about how good the biscuits are?

I mean, it's all just chatter, I just pipe up in whatever convo is most interesting to me.My thoughts on this one are, sure I could if I wanted to, but why would that be necessary?

11. I find social situations easy.

Omg SO vague. If I'm hanging out with my few best friends, I'm generally at ease, besides worrying if everyone's having a good time, or getting overstimulated and needing to take breaks of alone time.

If I'm going to a party with a friend with a bunch of people I don't know, I'll be excited to meet and observe new people, but it's easy for me to feel anxious, like an outsider, and I quickly want to leave lol. This is where drinking has come in for me.

12. I tend to notice details others do not.

I have been told this a few times, yes.

13, I would rather go to a library than a party.

No, I get anxious when I could possibly be cornered alone in an isolated and quiet place where I can't easily run to safety of others.

I would rather read at home by myself than go to a library, and would rather be at a party with people I feel safe around than to one with strangers.

14. I find making up stories easy.

Yes, I have an active imagination.

15. I find myself drawn more strongly to people than things.

Is this asking like, do you go to the theater because you want to see the movie, or do you go because you want to spend time with the person you go with? Well those are two separate things for me, and would be a dual benefit combining them.

Is it asking, would I rather stay home and play video games, or go hang out with friends? I'd rather play games cuz socializing is both under and overstimulating.

I just don't really understand this question.

16. I tend to have very strong interests which I get upset about if I can't pursue.

Why wouldn't I be able to pursue them? My brain is going to examples like, going to a family gathering and having to sit at a table quietly and do forced conversation for 2 hours instead of being able to do activities while talking. My family is likely all ND, so no one chastises me if I am drawing at the dinner table while conversing.

My other thought is, school. Yeah I hated school because I wanted to be doing things I cared about, instead of being forced to sit quietly and do things I found pointless.

And, work. I get frustrated when I have so many boring tasks I have to complete, when all I want to be doing is focusing on whatever hobby I'm obsessed with that week. But, I am known to give in to distraction constantly.

17. I enjoy social chit-chat

It depends. I hate being asked what I've been up to, what my plans are for the weekend, I don't like being put on the spot. But if someone else is trying to make small talk, I'm much comfier asking the questions. If the other person obviously wants to talk about that stuff more than I do, I'm happy to let them share lol, and feel like I'm good at asking questions to get to know a person.

Idk if I'd go as far to say I enjoy it, it's kinda more just a "fill the awkward space of us having to have this interaction."

18. When I talk, it isn't always easy for others to get a word in edgeways.

Uh this one is hard bc almost everyone in my life is ND lol. Everyone is annoying and talks a lot and talks over each other and rambles on forever. I have been known to rant as well.

19. I am fascinated by numbers.

Didn't we go over this like 2x already? Hell yeah I love numbers.

20. When I'm reading a story, I find it difficult to work out the characters' intentions.

I don't really read fiction, but I watch a lot of films. I can predict what will happen because I've seen sooo many films and use pattern recognition. I also feel really intense empathy, so I easily relate to characters who go through things I've been through, or are experiencing pain or joy how I have, and I think about what I've done in past situations.

If it's a character I don't relate to, I pull up similar characters I've observed in the past, and go over their archetype in my head, and then can try to predict what they will do.

21. I don't particularly enjoy reading fiction.

I somewhat enjoy it, but I'd rather read someone's memoir and hear from their own words what their life is like, or learn about science or history in the real world.

I'll add films into this as well to make the q fit better. I do love fictional films, even fantastical genre's like horror, monsters, science fiction, so yes, I suppose I do like fiction.

22. I find it hard to make new friends.

I was in a discussion a while ago on Twitter about friends. Myself and others were coming to the realization that acquaintances aren't friends?? So this is confusing to me. I have an easy time approaching others, especially others who seem kinda like outsiders as well (people standing alone, looking around, probably feeling anxious like me that they don't have a "person" or group to feel secure and included in.)

I have made sooo many friends over the years because I love the stimulation of getting to know someone new. But close friends? Actual friends who text me regularly and we actually hang out? Yeah that’s incredibly hard, and not something I really want from more than the few people I’ve known for years. That level of intimacy and commitment is overstimulating.

23. I notice patterns in things all the time.

Yeaaaaa boyyeee I love me some patterns.

24. I would rather go to the theatre than a museum.

Wut? I mean depends on what kinda theatre and what kinda museum! I’m interpreting this as, go somewhere loud and noisy where you have to sit quietly, vs somewhere you still have to be quiet but you can walk around. I can’t sit quietly for 2 hours, so museum it is.

25. It does not upset me if my daily routine is disturbed.

I hate surprises lol. I have to plan everything out otherwise I get flustered. Please don’t spring things on me or ask me to do something in 2 hours.

26. I frequently find I don’t know how to keep a conversation going.

Idk as I said I’m good at asking people questions, but sometimes my brain freezes up. I really don’t like being the one “interrogated” though lol. I like situations with clear guidelines, like in therapy, I can talk and talk because we are talking about me lol and that’s something I know best.

I feel like I know general questions to ask to get through different scenarios, for example, I was nervous the first time I was alone with my partner’s mom when he got up to use the restroom, so my brain goes, ok, ask this set of questions, keep the focus on her so she doesn’t have a chance to ask me something I won’t know how to answer lol.

But then, when I was at one of his family gatherings, and ended up alone with a couple people I didn’t know, my instinct is, smile and be funny or find something I have to go do lol.

27. I find it easy to read between the lines when someone is talking to me.

I mean, if I ask someone if they want to do something with me, and they beat around the bush, I assume they are just trying to be polite, and will try to give them an out like “it’s ok if you don’t want to, don’t feel bad!” etc.

But if someone is being passive aggressive or negging me, I often miss it. I assume good faith in people most of the time, because I don’t do weird manipulative behaviors myself, so I forget some people operate like that.

28. I usually concentrate more on the whole picture, rather than the small details.

Is this like, it’s okay that I’m late and spilled coffee on my shirt and the food I was going to bring got messed up and I couldn’t find my chapstick, as long as I just show up to the event? Or, I have a meltdown getting ready before the event because all those things happened?

Or is it like, it’s okay that this person I have a moral problem with is going to be there, because we don’t have to talk to them and can still have a good time? vs I absolutely cannot be okay with myself if I attend something that someone I so strongly disagree with will be there to potentially cause me to get worked up.

I guess maybe I’m a details guy?

29. I’m not very good at remembering phone numbers.

I feel like this question is outdated. I haven’t even looked at a person’s phone number in years since smart phones became the norm. Let’s change it to something like, birthdays? I’m good at remembering birthdays.

30. I don’t usually notice small changes in a situation, or a person’s appearance.

I notice changes in people and settings all the time. Especially if it effects me sensory-wise, like a lighting change, a new sound, or smell.

31. I know how to tell if someone listening to me is getting bored.

Idk, I don’t know if I give myself a chance. I take away the possibility of me getting rejected by giving people an out before then. I make myself limit time on things I want to focus on, or space I’m taking up, and always tell people to just tell me when they are ready for me to leave. And just preemptively do so if I get too anxious that they might not want to hurt my feelings.

32. I find it easy to do more than one thing at once.

Not really? I have ADHD so I’m easily distracted. I come up with systems and strategies to multi-task when I have to, I kinda gamify it. But, an example I’m thinking is like, watching a movie while I’m trying to work on something, or listen to a podcast when I’m taking a walk, I don’t absorb that info great.

33. When I talk on the phone, I’m not sure when it’s my turn to speak.

Talk on the phone, lol. I don’t do that for pleasure. If I’m making a necessary call like for an appointment, I rehearse what I’m going to say ahead of time, or I’ve done it so many times I have the process memorized.

34. I enjoy doing things spontaneously.

No, lol. Too many variables, I need plans I can think out and prepare for.

35. I am often the last to understand the point of a joke.

Sometimes. Sometimes I have to ask for it to be explained, especially if it’s different from my usual sense of humor.

36. I find it easy to work out what someone is thinking or feeling just by looking at their face.

Again, I’m hypersensitive to people’s feelings, so I seek reassurance often, constantly scanning body language and verbal cues.

37. If there is an interruption, I can switch back to what I was doing very quickly.

It depends on how invested in what I’m doing. If it’s something I have been putting off because it’s difficult, and someone interrupts me, I get flustered and irritated. I usually just tell people not to interrupt me when I truly need to avoid distraction.

If someone interrupts me when I’m talking, it can be hard to continue.

38. I am good at social chit-chat.

Didn’t we go over this? I said I don’t necessarily enjoy it, but I am okay at it.

39. People often tell me I keep going on and on about the same thing.

I wouldn’t dare, lol.

40. When I was young, I used to enjoy playing games involving pretending with other children.

Sure, we would play pretend family or school, or make up stories with toys.

41. I like to collect information about categories of things.

YES, yes, so much yes. I love collecting and cataloguing things, I fucking love making lists lol.

42. I find it difficult to imagine what it would be like to be someone else.

No, I love putting myself in others shoes. It’s part of what I like about social media, memoirs, documentaries. It makes me feel more connected to the world to imagine myself in someone else’s life, and see how similar we all are, but with different circumstances.

43. I like to plan any activities I participate in carefully.

Absolutely. That’s my role. I’m the planner.

44. I enjoy social occasions.

It truly depends, as I’ve stated above. I have a lot of conditions that go into it being a good time, but when my conditions are met, and I have the freedom to come and go as I please, I enjoy socializing with nice people.

If it’s with people I feel like an outsider with, no thanks. I’ll grin and bare it, fake it till I make it outta there.

45. I find it difficult to work out people’s intentions.

This just isn’t something I think about, and I have been burned for it in the past.

46. New situations make me anxious.

Yes. I need to know all the details so I can create a model of it in my mind, and go over all possible scenarios and how I will react to them in a way that doesn’t make me lose it with uncomfortableness.

47. I enjoy meeting new people.

This comes down to consent. I used to meet new people from the internet constantly pre-pandemic. I knew I wanted to meet them because we had xyz in common, and I knew the circumstances we’d be meeting in. I loved meeting people when I was in the party scene.

When it’s people who might judge me or think I’m too weird to be included, I’d rather just pass. Over the years I’ve realized I haven’t always recognized when people think I’m too weird to be there. I was blissfully ignorant, just being this nice, friendly person, then come to find out they thought I didn’t fit in.

48. I am a good diplomat.

Sure, I want everyone to be happy and feel included and seen.

49. I’m not very good at remembering people’s birthdays.

Oh oops I used that for the phone number Q lol. Yeah I remember childhood friends bdays, and my childhood dogs bdays. Always been good at that.

50. I find it easy to play games with children that involve pretending.

I haven’t been around children hardly at all since I was one, but sure.

#autism #autism spectrum quotient #aq test #possibly autistic #probably autistic #autistic #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #self diagnosis #self dx

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