#awareness and acceptance for pwPDs | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

flip-flopping-frede · 1 year

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Something that I see continuously left out of aspec discussions regarding ways aspecs may or may not connect with fellow humans, is the fp bond.

The acommunity is open and accepting about other forms of attraction that are not romantic and sexual, and even has a Split Attraction Model, and at the same time there are aspecs with personality disorders that exist. We experience something that aspecs that don’t have personality disorders fail to address, and that is the fp bond.

In my experience, the fp bond feels like an attachment more than an attraction; I don’t necessarily feel a “pull” since I am already pulled in/already connected/already attached. The fp experience is different for everyone tho. For some pw PDs, I think it can manifest as the symptoms of the PD lessening around the fp, or the symptoms of the PD worsening around the fp. The fp of someone with a PD may feel like someone who the pw the PD can tolerate “the most” out of anyone else/feel comfortable unmasking around, or the fp could be someone who the pw the PD feels their world revolves around.

Either way, the fp bond is something that is typically significant for pwPDs. It can be a game changer in terms of human connection, especially for aroaces and aspecs who are also aspec in ways besides romantic and sexual attraction, such as aplatonic, asensual, anaesthetic/non-aesthetic, etc.

Awareness and acceptance for people with personality disorders is essential. Our experiences (including the bond with the fps) are important valuable parts that make up the acommunity. I just think it would be so interesting and validating if, when aspecs are discussing ways aspecs experience human connections, or why they may choose to do things that society does not understand, the fp bond was included.

Some aroace people may do something as casual as becoming roommates with their fp (I have personality disorders where the people experience extreme fear or high anxiety in mind, to make things like grocery shopping easier)

Some aroace people may do something as serious as getting married to their fp, because they feel like they genuinely could not live without their fp and want the commitment, tax benefits, and other perks of getting married (like making a big deal about the wedding instuff)

Both of these are valid and deserving of acceptance. Aspecs may be a marginalized group, but that doesn’t change the fact that pwPDs are also just as marginalized (if not more, since society stigmatizes pwPDs). This is why Awareness, discussions, and acceptance of intersectionality between being aspec and having a PD is essential for aspec pwPDs.

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alostlittleriverlotus · 9 months

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the fact narcissists, antisocials, pwPDs are required to be in recovery and getting help to be treated with decent respect and still won't get that respect because people will see the disorder and instantly think abuser/not human/psychopath/sociopath in derogatory ways says a lot.

We are told to get help, but the ableism of (disorder) abuse prevents us from getting help. The demonization of us prevents us from even finding resourceful articles to help us. Many professionals won't treat personality disorders because of stigma. Yet we're told to get and help and are treated like we're the ones unwilling to get help. That it makes us less acceptable because we don't get help.

If we have to be perfect human beings in recovery and so mature and self aware and basically everything positive and nothing negative to be worthy of respect and still will have people bombard us for simply having a disorder, that is ableist. These expectations wouldn't be on neurotypical shitty people or those without personality disorders. And the group of those with BPD lumping themselves in with being "anti narcissist" do nothing. These same stereotypes were there for BPD. I've seen BPD called Bratty Princess Disorder, told that they can't love, been called an emotional leech for having BPD.

The requirement that we must all be perfectly recovered healthy people to be acceptable and not treated like dirt or like monsters is the ableism we are calling out. But then narc abuse folks will take their trauma and use it as an excuse for throwing us under the bus.

Guess what. My abusive mom has NPD. The NPD doesn't make her abusive. She simply is a narcissist (neutral usage.) She's not abusive cause she has NPD. It doesn't make her more likely to be abusive. Her NPD doesn't create a unique type of abuse. She's just my mom that's abusive that has NPD cause of her own trauma. That's it.

Like I have to monitor my tone, I have to ensure everything I do is written perfectly, just to avoid being hurled verbal abuse and being told I'm a liar or treated poorly. I have to work so hard to be the patient and calm one and still won't be taken seriously. And if we're using abuse as justification, using my own emotions against me is exactly what my abusers did. I am not lesser because I get upset. I am not lesser because I have emotional regulation problems. I am not lesser because I don't monitor my tone. A lot of these also intertwine with my autism and BPD too.

So yeah. Telling someone to go get help or they should be in therapy fucking sucks. You don't know us, you don't know our experiences. Telling narcissists and pwPDs in general to be in therapy while simultaneously making it difficult for us to get help is ableist. We can't look up npd without being bombarded with how to spot a narcissist. Using the narcissism tag shows a lot of narc abuse stuff that stigmatizes us. And when we explain and ask you, calmly or not, you will not listen and paint us as villainous. You fit your own definition of narcissism by that logic. Big scary narcissism.

Maybe if you want narcissists to get better, stop making it difficult for us to get help. And you may not want narcissists dead, but I have seen natc abuse people who do. Look who you are siding yourself with. Look at the arguments you use and really examine them. They are similar thinking to other forms of ableism and other types of bigotry. We are expected to act perfectly or we are discredited.

No disorder makes someone more likely to be abusive. An abuser having a disorder that may impact the abuse does not make it (disorder) abuse. This kind of ableism WILL come back at you and is STILL being used against all disorders even if it's only popular for certain disorders. You won't win this way.

We just want you to fucking listen without getting defensive and using your trauma as a reason to feel justified in being ableist. I'm sorry for what you went through, but it will NEVER give you the right to stigmatize a group of people and lump a disorder in with abusers.

The things I've seen narcissists called or compared to is disgusting. Seeing psychopath narcissist is disgusting. Actually just be normal about mentally ill people for fucking once. And if we're using trauma to justify stuff, WE ARE TRAUMA VICTIMS AND ABUSE VICTIMS TOO!!!!!!!

Literally just stfu and stop. I've made posts being nicer about it, but frankly it's 2:30 am and I don't give a shit. I'm mad. And me being mad does not discredit anything I have said. You can listen or you can block me and move on.

Again, this post is very centered on narcissists/npd, but this goes for any abuse that may get treated as abusive. Y'all are just as welcome here in this safe space. Any disorder that gets lumped in with abuse is welcome here cause fuck that ableism. You're not abusive for having a disorder. Your disorder doesn't make you more likely to be abusive. You don't deserve the shit you get. We love you here :)

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mintyeels · 7 months

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BYF/DNI

Call me Splat or Scissors. I go by xe/god/slime/it. I prefer masculine language.

Alright fuckers, this is my honesty account! Im gonna be keeping this separate from my mains for a good fucking reason because like fuck am I losing all my damn moots and shit for this <3

I am (or we are) a polyfrag multigenic system with npd, bpd aspd, and possible hpd along with several other mental illnesses. I experience psycosis, I have adhd and autism, and I have several controversial special interests. Get used to that if you stay here.

I will not censor my thoughts here. If you wanna be friends then you should know im a two-faced cowardly bitch who loves attention and pushing others away. I do not fucking trust you <3

That being said if I say something bigoted or unjust, lmk. I’m incredibly aware of my potential impact on others, and I pride myself on being helpful, non-harmful, and using progressive language. I am physically disabled.

(That is to say, in non aspd language: pls lmk if I say smth offensive. I genuinely want to learn and become more aware, as its important to me that im not harming others with my language or actions. Call my bullshit out (politely!) and I will be more than willing to accommodate and adjust!)

I am currently in an environment where I cannot safely seek treatment or therapy for my personality disorders & systemhood at the moment, however I am educated on mental health, mental illness, and psychology (self researched). I also plan to pursue a career in social work or psychology.

With that context it should be clear that I DO NOT self-diagnose myself lightly. I am not making light of, purposefully demonizing, or making a bad name for people with these disorders. I am simply being honest about how they affect my life and outlook on this blog.

I have been medically recognized as a system, and don’t give a fuck what you think of my origin or pronouns. Mind your fucking business and shut your fucking mouth.

Self diagnosis is valid. Endogenics are safe and accepted here. Introjects are real (I cant believe I have to say that). I refuse to call source memories/exomemories “psuedomemories,” as it is invalidating imo.

My proper BYF is much longer, but here’s the gist. [late addition, im anti sexual age-regression (CGLG/LB [squick] or CGLG/LB agere [amoral imo]), and pro nonsexual age-regression. sfw regressors are welcome here, though please be aware that this blog is not always child/little-friendly!]

(ID: A black box with neon green text reading, “This blog is Endo-Friendly, MOGAI/LIOM friendly, Kin friendly, Supports ALL pwPDs, Does NOT believe in “narc-abuse,” and is anti-truscum/transmed, anti-terf/radfem/radqueer, and Anti-PEAR/Proshipper/Anti-Anti. Do NOT bring syscourse into my inbox. You will be ignored and blocked.”)

My spins (special interests are):

Hermitcraft

Zombies

Apocalypses

Art

Shifting (scientific interest)

Dsmp (dream sucks.)

Slimecicle

Slimecicle cinematic universe

Ranboo

AstralSpiff

Asmr

Video games

Categories of suicide and/or muder

Witchcraft/paganism

The sorry boys

Half-life/Portal

Systemhood

Mental health

Personality disorders

Creepypasta

Marble hornets

Scp

Indie Horror

The forest

Batim/batdr

Poppy playtime

Resident evil

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