#aspecs with personality disorders | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

flip-flopping-frede · 1 year

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Something that I see continuously left out of aspec discussions regarding ways aspecs may or may not connect with fellow humans, is the fp bond.

The acommunity is open and accepting about other forms of attraction that are not romantic and sexual, and even has a Split Attraction Model, and at the same time there are aspecs with personality disorders that exist. We experience something that aspecs that don’t have personality disorders fail to address, and that is the fp bond.

In my experience, the fp bond feels like an attachment more than an attraction; I don’t necessarily feel a “pull” since I am already pulled in/already connected/already attached. The fp experience is different for everyone tho. For some pw PDs, I think it can manifest as the symptoms of the PD lessening around the fp, or the symptoms of the PD worsening around the fp. The fp of someone with a PD may feel like someone who the pw the PD can tolerate “the most” out of anyone else/feel comfortable unmasking around, or the fp could be someone who the pw the PD feels their world revolves around.

Either way, the fp bond is something that is typically significant for pwPDs. It can be a game changer in terms of human connection, especially for aroaces and aspecs who are also aspec in ways besides romantic and sexual attraction, such as aplatonic, asensual, anaesthetic/non-aesthetic, etc.

Awareness and acceptance for people with personality disorders is essential. Our experiences (including the bond with the fps) are important valuable parts that make up the acommunity. I just think it would be so interesting and validating if, when aspecs are discussing ways aspecs experience human connections, or why they may choose to do things that society does not understand, the fp bond was included.

Some aroace people may do something as casual as becoming roommates with their fp (I have personality disorders where the people experience extreme fear or high anxiety in mind, to make things like grocery shopping easier)

Some aroace people may do something as serious as getting married to their fp, because they feel like they genuinely could not live without their fp and want the commitment, tax benefits, and other perks of getting married (like making a big deal about the wedding instuff)

Both of these are valid and deserving of acceptance. Aspecs may be a marginalized group, but that doesn’t change the fact that pwPDs are also just as marginalized (if not more, since society stigmatizes pwPDs). This is why Awareness, discussions, and acceptance of intersectionality between being aspec and having a PD is essential for aspec pwPDs.

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narcissisticpdcultureis · 6 months

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Asexual npd culture is this:

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#real #npd culture is #asexual npd culture is #aspec npd culture is #acespec npd culture is #npd #actually narcissistic #actually npd #narcissistic personality disorder #cluster b #asexual #acespec #aspec

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hpdcultureis · 1 month

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aro hpd culture is "loveless monster"? nah im a monster because of the love

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#hpd culture is #aro hpd culture is #aspec hpd culture is #actually histrionic #histrionic pd #histrionic personality disorder #honestly histrionic #hpd #actually hpd #cluster b #honestlyhistrionic #cluster b pds #aro #aromantic #aspec

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schizoid-culture-is · 4 months

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szpd culture is a lot of us being aromantic, asexual and schizoid (of course), all things that are excluded from communities for not "suffering enough"

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#personality disorder #schizoid #schizoid pd #schizoid personality disorder #scpd #szpd #cluster a #cluster a pd #schizoid culture is #aromantic #asexual #arospec #acespec #aspec

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receivingtranny · 4 months

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Borderomantic

sources - LGBTQIA Wiki

Similar to neurosexual/neuromantic, borderomantic is an experience of romance that is so heavily influenced by having borderline personality disorder, that one's romantic identity and BPD cannot be unlinked.

#my coin #pride flags #aspec #arospec #aromantic #neuromantic #neuroromantic #borderline personality disorder #bpd

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aroaceconfessions · 11 months

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Someone should coin a term for the attraction you feel for others when you are an aroace bpd person 🙃 (your fp) but not exactly romantic

Submitted May 14, 2023

#squish?#aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #aro #ace #arospec #acespec #arose #squish #bpd #borderline personality disorder #fp #favorite person

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ineffabeatlemindpalace · 6 months

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The way not having a period for years now has made me feel more powerful than ever. Run (even) more. Do more. Be more myself; along with my other bodily (thin) features, it did wonders in terms of my gender dysphoria and (a)sexuality or lack there of.

It validated me like nothing else.

Whilst having the thought at the back of my mind that in order to keep it that way, I do these things to my body, both unintentionally and intentionally. And I genuinely love exercising and moving. And I do realise how you need fuel for that. It just gets harder some days when those fears make me unable to fall. And health-wise I do not know whether it might impact future me. However, right now, I have the privilege of a healthy body which is capable of so much. Touch wood.

There is nothing to complain about, even if my mind wants to convince me otherwise. And it never stops being challenging.

It’s just so funny how this thing (amenorrhea) that is not considered to be ‘natural’ helps my mental health.

In the present moment, I am alive and life can be so good.

—

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projectmogai · 1 month

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are your request opennnn???? :3 if so !! maybe um aroace maverique Mizuki?? If u accept neurodivergencies in this acc (it's mogai so I'm unsure but idk if an autistic touya post was yours so), w schizotypal??

and um,, if you DO accept neurodivergencies in this acc and find it (bc I couldn't find symbols or flags of that anywhere D:) and also if u can and want to,, Shizuku with an intellectual disability????? :3

#icon #proseka icons #akiyama mizuki #mizuki akiyama #hinomori shizuku #shizuku hinomori #aspec #arospec #acespec #aro #aromantic #ace #asexual #aroace #maverique #schizotypal personality disorder #stpd #intellectual disability #kotokoroulet

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pansypr3p · 9 months

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tonight, the emotions blend together as they flow back to me under the cover of three benadryl and a bowl of cereal.

i dont have the words to explain how anything feels or exists to me.

i dont ever have the words, i have never had the words, and that is why i am a wordsmith.

because maybe one day i'll find the words, or they'll create the words, or something - i don't know. hope is stupid, but i hold it anyways.

i dont have the words to say that 'i love you' isn't 'romance'

nor the words to say 'boyfriend' isn't 'romance'

nor the words to say 'i love you' isn't 'boyfriend'

nor that i

am not 'romance'

i am not romance, nor anything in between!

i am a vampyre. your vampyre.

how can i express that i am the mary austin to your freddie mercury, in my eyes?

even if i

am not her

in yours?

how could i ever express that i will never be romance or know what it is, but that i will never stop loving you with my entire chest?

how can i ever hope to express that you are, and always will be, my world?

whether you like it or not?

how can i tell you that i will give you the world, one way or another?

that you can never hope to stop or escape me, unless you kill me, like i've hoped from the beginning?

did you know i was never supposed to become attached to you? you were an intrigue, then a project, and then you were a mission, and i became the missionary that the lord sent to convey that you are the world.

i will die by your hand or i will never die at all, i fear. i will not let another kill me, not even time. it is your right alone.

i have always idolized the violence you hold in your palms, cold and small and strong in ways no one expects, in ways that leave marks on my body and soul.

you, a person, human entirely in every way, are so much more violent than i have ever been, and i love it like an addiction. maybe thats why i always want to hold your hands, dear.

the marks make me smile. i doodle around them. to have a mark from you is to have a memory forever, of the thing i have chosen, to make my life.

i have not ever chosen before.

perhaps you hurt me, and perhaps it is not good for me. perhaps i should have chosen otherwise. perhaps, another might change their mind, after so much.

but i chose you. i will not choose another. not over you. never over you. my first choice, my first freedom, my first hope.

you taught me that even though i am a monster,

i can be free.

that even though i am a vampyre, and i have drained you entirely,

i am still a person.

i will never leave the one who showed me freedom, even if he is pain, even if he is violence, even if i must learn that to be human is to hold anger and pettiness and uncaring like no other, even if i must hide my love in the shadows and live for him without the words at all.

love or not, free or not, person or not, i am loyal, like a dog, to a fault.

i have chained myself again, away from freedom, but i alone hold the keys.

i made a mistake, yes. in being as i was, in behaving like we did, we made mistakes.

i am still learning to be human, and you are still learning to be kind.

sometimes, i still make mistakes.

sometimes, i still want to kiss you, and sometimes, i still want to fuck you, sometimes, i still want to hear you beg for me to take from you again, to drink your blood, sweet as honey, and feel the power you can give me.

but other times, i just want to watch you smile and know it's because of me, just because i'm there, and you like my company, and listen to you laugh because of a dumb joke i made.

most of the time, i want to hear you talk. most of the time, i want to sit with you and watch something i wouldn't care about, if not for you.

most of the time, i want to hold your hand for my own selfish reasons, and brush your hair because you hardly ever do, and make you food because you don't eat nearly enough.

most of the time, i want to buy you your favorite snacks and drinks, just because it makes you happy, and i love knowing you're happy.

most of the time, i just want to play card games and board games and video games with you, and listen to you giggle and make fun of me for making a bad move or not understanding something.

most of the time, i want to listen to the casual noises of your home, of your existence, and watch some video that neither of us care about much because it's just nice, to exist near each other.

is that romance? am i romance, are we romance?

i don't know.

but

is it love?

do i love you?

of course. of course i do. i dont know what else to say. i love you. i love you. i love you

i am not leaving. i will never. i cannot. not truly.

i will love you until you take my life from me, your vampyre, until you stake me through the heart and watch the life bleed out of my eyes.

i will smile as your hands are covered in my blood, as you take the revenge you deserve, as you express to me that you hate me as much as you love me.

i drank your blood, once.

i sucked you dry.

i dont think i'm capable of apologies.

but know i will die for you,

just as much as i am living for you.

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riley-phoenix · 8 months

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So I'm Aromantic,

But, I have disassociative identity disorder

But, one of the split personalities is not Aromantic,

And, whilst in that particular personality state, I was compelled to write a love poem for a girl as a result of... ⚠️ romantic attraction⚠️

Help!

Also here's the poem if you wanna read it.

#aro #Aromantic #aspec #did #dissociative identity disorder #split personality Disorder #mental health #personality Disorder #poet #writer

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flip-flopping-frede · 6 months

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Weird realization.

So I’m lithromantic. Being in [romantic] relationships is traumatizing for me. I’m aegosexual. Putting myself in a real-life sexual situation with another person is incredibly uncomfortable for me. I’m caedplatonic. I don’t really experience platonic attraction to people. Regarding my aesthetic and sensual attraction… I only feel aesthetic attraction to people I basically [idoloize], and I do not feel sensual attraction to ableist people. I think I struggle to feel sensual attraction, honestly.

If you notice, I don’t really have the types of attractions most “allos” have. I in general, don’t really have any kind of “attraction” to other people. I also have a personality disorder, so if I do feel “attraction” (that I am capable of feeling) towards someone, it is usually pretty intense. Also, I don’t really “have” anyone in my life. My friendships usually unfortunately eventually fall apart. It kinda feels I am in an unhealthy and socially dangerous situation by lacking a healthy support system? And also, I don’t really feel a pull towards other in-real-life people? I’ve also been in an autistic burnout for over a year now, so I kinda feel like establishing new connections and maintaining something would be really draining on the minimal executive functioning I do have.

Bottom line is I don’t think I experience “loneliness”, or at least not significantly enough to want to seek out a brand new relationship of some sort? I have also been longing for a snake, however sometimes I have bad days where I feel like I shouldn’t get a snake because I can’t even take care of myself? 😪. Idk it kinda sucks living like this in a perpetual state of not being able to recover from this autistic burnout, or be able to be a functioning member of society, or want to be a participant in society.

#autistic burnout #I don’t feel loneliness #autistic #aegosexual #lithromantic #caedplatonic #demisensual #demiaesthetic #aspec #personality disorder #isolation #blossoming hermit #hermit #alone not lonely #friendless #bpd #borderline personality disorder

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narcissisticpdcultureis · 3 months

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Aromantic npd culture is "Yes please, keep showering me with attention, gifts and compliments. No, I'm never going to love you back ofc, but keep going, I like it ^^"

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#npd culture is #aromantic npd culture is #aspec npd culture is #npd #actually narcissistic #actually npd #narcissistic personality disorder #cluster b #aromantic #arospec #aro #aspec

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hpdcultureis · 24 days

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HPD and aro/ace-spec culture is being flirty as fuck with friends (like ya do) and getting confused when asked if you haveva crush on them. Like. Bro. I am just destined to flirt all the time because it's fun. I forgot that people do it romantically 💀

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#hpd culture is #aspec hpd culture is #actually histrionic #histrionic pd #histrionic personality disorder #honestly histrionic #hpd #actually hpd #cluster b #honestlyhistrionic #cluster b pds #aspec

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a-timeless-illness · 1 year

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Paranoidromantic

Where one's paranoia, or PPD, affects their romantic attraction. Rather it be they are afraid to get into a romantic relationship due to paranoia/PPD, or paranoia "restricts" them in any way when in a romantic relationship, or trying to get in a romantic relationship. Could also be defined in other ways as an individual sees fit.

Paranoidsexual

Where one's paranoia, or PPD, affects their sexual attraction. Rather it be they are afraid to get into a sexual relationship due to paranoia/PPD, or paranoia "restricts" them in any way when in a sexual relationship, or trying to get in a sexual relationship. Could also be defined in other ways as an individual sees fit.

[Image ID: A 7 horizontally striped flag where the colors from up to down are light green, medium green, dark green, black, dark yellow, medium yellow, and light yellow. End ID]

[Image ID: A 7 horizontally striped flag where the colors from up to down are light purple, medium purple, dark purple, black, dark yellow, medium yellow, and light yellow. End ID]

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bl33ditout · 2 months

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sometimes i suspect there's genuinely something wrong with my brain and the way i perceive human connections and relationships. i don't see it the way other people do and i'm wondering if it goes beyond just being aspec or even asocial. it's so draining and frustrating the way i can't comprehend my own emotions (or lack of)

#i 100% still identify as aspec but like i'm wondering if it's some sorta antisocial disorder or something.#and it ties in with the bipolar disorder that i got too #like most of the time i can't feel anything #tw vent #tw personal #tw mental illness

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aroaceconfessions · 1 year

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I feel like my qpp is ghosting me. I've told them countless times that if she needs space and alone time, its completely valid and I still care about and support them all the same. We're both neurodivergent (I have autism and ADHD for sure, she has BPD and likely autism as well) and so we've both been very straightforward on communicating boundaries and such so far. For minor context I'm lesbian oriented aroace, they're panromantic asexual.

I'm completely fine with respecting their boundaries and space, because even I have a hard time messaging others a lot. But lately she's been getting bad depressive episodes and hasn't responded to me in 3 weeks. I try to check in every few days or so just to let them know I'm still here if they need me and that I adore and support them no matter what. Thing is, the last stretch of time since we last actually spoke to each other was over 20 days ago. I feel guilty and horrible for worrying that I'm being ghosted bc I trust them but they've ghosted me once before.

Before we started "dating" (aka entering a qpr together), we were online friends back in 2021. Everything went great up until she just disappeared and stopped responding out of nowhere. Then a year passes of having no contact, they came back to one of our mutual servers on discord and I sent them a message. To which, we picked up where we left off previously, and talked about our feelings for each other and became qpps.

What alarmed me and triggered my anxiety of being ghosted again the most is she left several of the servers we were in together on top of that without saying a word.

I just feel like an asshole and like I'm being selfish and clingy for being worried about stuff like this when I know I trust them, but I don't want to lose her again and that's what it feels like is happening.

- grandma anon ig? not sure if its needed but I'll add it anyways

Submitted April 28, 2023

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