#bc that’s me rn

[murdrdocs]

i’m in agony so i gotta share idc how tmi it is

do y’all ever take a shit that’s sooo bad that u feel like this ???

#bc that’s me rn #i had pasta last night :( #it was so good too

[skyhawkstragedy]

istg if that Turner account comes in while we’re enduring this chaos I’m gonna lose my shit

#bb25 #video context: meme going into the storage room saying she’s gonna lose her mind #bc that’s me rn #I am going to lose my mind

[lesbianjarjarbinks]

frank “it’s like a broken clock” iero

#what’s that scene from avatar where zukos like ‘azula always lies azula always lies’ #bc that’s me rn #mcr

[grabmyboner]

you ever been in such a manic state that you can’t sleep bc your hands feel too weird

#bc that’s me rn #I close my eyes but then my hands start feeling weird and I gotta wake up

[delta8vape]

you ever make two of the best bowls of oatmeal you’ve ever had back to back on a saturday morning and in the moment you feel like everything is and will be okay

#bc that’s me rn #you ever just get super anxious bc you’re hungry

[cadaverkeys]

You guys rlly don't realise how much knowledge is still not committed to the internet. I find books all the time with stuff that is impossible to find through a search engine- most people do not put their magnum opus research online for free and the more niche a skill is the less likely you are to have people who will leak those books online. (Nevermind all the books written prior to the internet that have knowledge that is not considered "relevant" enough to digitise).

Whenever people say that we r growing up with all the world's knowledge at our fingertips...it's not necessarily true. Is the amount of knowledge online potentially infinite? Yes. Is it all knowledge? No. You will be surprised at the niche things you can discover at a local archive or library.

#rambles #if you are a person who is into delicate skills #like lacemaking or printing or sewing #you will know fair well just how non expansive the knowledge online is in comparison to written guides from like the 50s #there was a time where at least one person in the household had to know a constructive skill #but in the modern day there is just less ans less demands for comprehensive guides #library propaganda #im stuck doing an essay rn but bc i have covid i cant go to the library and its totally fucked me #i want to source a lot of the stuff i read irl but i just cant go and get it and theres no online ver

[badolmen]

People against piracy fail to realize that no, I can’t just ‘buy it.’ They stopped making DVDs and Blu-Rays. They’re barely offering digital copies for download. I am not spending money I could use for food or bills to pay for a subscription service just so I can always have access to a beloved piece of media. Especially not when the service will remove media on a whim without concern for how the loss of access to that piece will make its artistic conservation nigh impossible.

For example, I recently learned that Disney+ had an original film called Crater. It’s scifi, family friendly, and seems cool - I would love to buy it as a holiday gift for my little brother! But: it’s exclusive to D+ and THEY REMOVED IT LITERALLY MONTHS AFTER ITS RELEASE.

The ONLY way I can directly access this film is through piracy. The ONLY available ‘copies’ of this film are hosted on piracy websites. Disney will NEVER release it in theaters, or as something to buy, and it may NEVER return to the streaming service. It will be LOST because we aren’t allowed to purchase it for personal viewing. If I can’t pay to own it, I won’t pay for the privilege of losing it when corporate decides to put it in a vault.

So yes, I’m going to pirate and support piracy.

#ra speaks #piracy #media piracy #pirate to make hondo ohnaka proud #obligatory ‘don’t fucking pirate small authors/artists works wtf dude’ statement. #anyone who’s seen my media bitching before knows I’m a hype man for indie films this ain’t about them #this is about corporate streaming services killing physical media bc sales numbers are less impressive than number of streams #edit: USAmericans stop telling me to buy DVDs and blurays at Walmart. think outside your borders for a hot sec. fun thought exercise. #your experiences are not universal #edit: WHO GOT THIS TO 100k. I JUST WANT TO TALK (this post is my second to hit 100k woahg.) #in other news: fix your fucking posture. drink some fucking water. and go the fuck to bed if it’s late bc it’s for me rn. peace and light.

[stuckinapril]

Honestly the cliche advice is true. If you fill your life w things you’re passionate about, if you challenge yourself every day, if you give your own opinion of yourself more weight than you do other people’s opinions of you, you will actually thrive. Like no one can tell u anything

#I’m just in a whole state of mind rn #there will always be ppl who try to bring u down but pursuing the things u love will help u rise above it. #I absolutely still get anxious / annoyed at things but I’m over it sm faster. and soon it won’t bother me at all. #or at least it’ll have a healthy duration. bc negative emotion isn’t always bad. negative emotion is important and we should not ignore it #but overall!! preserving my energy better. just need to work on my knee jerk responses & I’ll be set #text

[oifaaa]

Fun new game I'm playing while watching the new Percy Jackson show called "Was this actually different in the books or is my memory just shit"

#percy jackson #pjo #just with small things like #wasnt it a thing in the books #that all the gods children had designated tables #and its one of the ways you could tell the hermes cabin was over crowded #bc there was hardly any space at the table #i could always just reread the book again to see #but im busy enough rn #so hopefully one of you lovely people will tell me #oifaaaposts

[wispscribbles]

I love your ghost design. I wanna squeeze him :⁠^⁠)

If no hug then why hug-shaped???

#thank youuuu! squeeze that mentally unstable adult man! he needs it! #ask #anon ask #ghostsoap #soapghost #my art #cod fanart #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soap x ghost #doodle #fav hc about ghost is that he is so incredibly touch starved and everyone just assumes he hates touch #but Soap is so touchy he keeps forgetting not to hug and pat and lean on Ghost #and each time Ghost is like ‘what is happening to me?? why do I want to melt rn??? I think I’m in love???’ #outwardly he is a stone wall as usual #until Soap actually remembers to give Ghost space bc he thinks that’s what he wants #and Ghost has to finally be the one to reach out and ask for touch #and Soap is the happiest camper #from then on they are stuck together with glue #this all has nothing to do with your ask I’m sorry #I’ve got ghoap on the brain I can’t help it #complete side note: I have many asks in my inbox and I’m so happy y’all write!! just pls bear with me bc I am very slow to respond

[squish--squash]

#I'm mostly making this bc I really want a massage rn my shoulders are killing me #that and a way to pop my back bc i've been feeling the need to pop it for weeks and can't physically do it the way I want

[incendavery]

"notes in my lunches, winter 2022" a collection compiled by my finacée <3

#artists on tumblr #love notes #relationships #corvid #davedrawsstuff #no image description bc that is too much for me to do rn but if you write one i will gratefully reblog

[electribunny]

trying to finish all my leftovers before i go home for the summer so obviously i bought taco bell

#u ever get into those moods where if u don’t have the one specific thing you want you just Won’t Eat? #bc that’s me rn #i have so many leftovers but my body was like ‘doritos los tacos or nothing’ #.txt

[mingyusbinch]

REST IN PEACE, DEAR MOONBIN (1998-2023)

#moonbin #astro #moon bin #i don't want to be here right now honestly i just wanted my last post about moonbin to be the ones where hes smiling as my last memory #it kills me to see my posts reblogged with sad messages now #and i still can't believe this news either #i've been mia anyway but now im even less inclined to go on tumblr rn #im so sorry for everyone including family/friends of bin #and himself but i cant think about that bc it will break me apart #rest in peace bin i'll miss you more than anything

[roseworth]

(if u add a + just vote for whichever one you add it to <3)

#i usually just say lgbt bc its shorter and easier and i feel like the rest is implied #but im curious #im writing a paper rn and i mentioned the lgbt community and i couldnt decide whether or not to add the q #then i started wondering if i should add the ia too #i think im sticking with lgbtq but it got me wondering what other people say #polls

[inkskinned]

yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."

i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.

the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.

mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.

later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.

sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.

but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.

i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.

every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.

wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?

the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:

he wants to say i love you but keeps it to goodnight because love will take some falling and she's afraid of heights.

every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.

mahler's fifth still makes me sick.

give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.

give me back what you took from me.

#nosebleed club #sorry stephen not ur fault #just like. thinking #writeblr #spilled ink #warm up #every time nat is like - oh let me get that for u #im like .... this is a trick right like ur gonna be mean now bc u did something nice rn #so obviously if ur being nice now either u did something mean and im about to learn about it #or you're going to BE mean #or ur gonna hold this over my head forever and i'll never get a nice thing ever again? #and every time nat is like .... babe i just actually like u #lesbian jesus story is 100% real btw. she also told me not to be an event planner #literally changed the shape of my life