#because it was ultimately the memory of his thought and character informing how the AI operated
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your name means traitor
Description: Regis boards the Normandy SR-2, makes his stance on Cerberus clear to the crew--new and old--and learns some information about his resurrection. He also reads through the dossiers and finally gets a little bit of good news in his trapped situation.
Pairing: Regis Shepard/Kaidan Alenko, Regis Shepard/Kaidan Alenko/Zaeed Massani (past)
Rating: M
Notes: Regis is one angry bastard in this fic, and honestly, he's like that through the entirety of ME2. So, he's not the most pleasant person in this fic, and targets many different characters in his anger.
Context: Regis talks about his dogtags a lot in this fic. for extra context, check out these fics: late night conversations and you got me in a chokehold.
Cerberus revived the Butcher, so they were going to get the Butcher, his fangs bared and talons sharpened.
Because the Butcher doesn't play nice when he feels threatened, and Cerberus is about to find out exactly how ruthless he could be. How relentless he can be in his rage. How far he will go to never bow down.
Even if it meant dying in such a way that there's no coming back next time.
Regis will give them exactly what they deserve. Losing his humanity in the process is just a price he's willing to pay.
Because Kaidan isn't here to bring him back from the brink.
He sneered at Lawson once they made it to the CIC, after she and Taylor got him up to speed at all the new features on the Normandy. "This is my goddamn ship, and no one else's. Get ready for my announcement. And we'll see if their loyalties truly lie with me. Because if they don't? I'll welcome them to the airlock."
"Acting like this isn't going to make the situation better. You should want all the allies you can get,” Lawson said.
Regis laughed sharply. "Then you don't know me at all. You wanted Commander Shepard? Well, you're also getting the Butcher of Torfan. Should've thought of that before you wielded your scalpel." He pushed back with a bit of biotic power, causing her to stumble and stepped up on the pedestal to the galaxy map.
EDI was the only thing on this ship he was willing to work with, if only because he was so fascinated by AI. Cerberus likely knew that and was going to exploit it, but he couldn't deny the allure.
"EDI, open the comms for an announcement."
"Go ahead, Commander."
He cleared his throat. "I will make this clear only once. I am Commander Shepard, you will all refer to me as such. This is my ship. Not Cerberus's, not Lawson's, mine. If you have a problem with that, you are welcome to leave. I was brought here against my will, and being here is against everything I stand for as a Spectre and as a soldier to the Alliance. I find all of you to be the scum of the Earth, of the fucking galaxy, for choosing this as your ultimate path. I am here for one job only, and that is to deal with this threat any way possible. And if that means tearing down your organization in the process and turning myself and all of you into the Alliance the moment I get a chance? I'll do it in a fucking heartbeat." He crossed his arms, observing the looks of all the crew members in the CIC, seeing varied expressions. Some angry, some wide-eyed with fear. The Yeoman next to him almost seemed to shudder when his gaze landed on her.
He knew he looked inhuman. The red eyes, the deep scars laced with cybernetics, unexpected side effects of whatever they did to bring him back.
He is the result of what happens when you play God.
"I fought and killed members of your organization two years ago for your heinous crimes you committed against your own species. Experiments with Rachni, Thresher Maws, and assassination plans against Alliance brass. Don't think I'll discriminate if I think any of you are a threat to me. This is my mission, and I will carry it out as I see fit. You've bastardized my memory and my ship, and I'll be damned if I don't ensure you all know how far I'm willing to go to get what I want. Again, you have a problem? Get the fuck off my ship. Return to your duties. I don't want to see anyone slacking off. With me here, this is a military operation, not some civilian private sector bullshit." He stepped down from the galaxy map and nearly made it to the elevator, but the Yeoman next to him stopped him.
"Commander, I--"
He cut her off. "I don't want to hear it. I can handle my own communications and messages. Don't make me upload a hack to ensure you can't get your claws in my shit. Stick to your galaxy map monitoring duties, and we won't have any problems."
"I was just going to say I'm here if you want to talk. I'm Kelly Chambers."
"Talk?" He scoffed. "I'm not talking to anyone who's Cerberus. Why the hell would I ever think you would respect confidentiality?"
Regis didn't wait for a reply. She seemed to shrink in on herself, clearly not anticipating his response.
In another life, he would've felt guilty.
No more.
Cerberus ensured that Regis Shepard would never be the same man ever again.
Lawson joined him on the elevator before it closed. "You should know that no one is going to leave."
He pressed the button for the third deck. "I didn't expect anything different. I wanted them to know my feelings on the matter. I'm an open book like that."
"Even towards your old crew?"
He raised an eyebrow. "They're now Cerberus crew, aren't they? Joining for me doesn't change anything."
The elevator doors opened. They stepped off.
"After I make my rounds on the ship, we're going to have a long talk about my resurrection, Lawson. If you really want me to be a part of this mission without turning in this ship to the Alliance, then maybe you should be forthcoming with the details," Regis said, crossing his arms.
He fully planned on going straight to the Citadel to talk to Anderson, but something told him that meeting will probably not end in his favor. Time will tell, but Regis wasn't going to be optimistic.
None of his meetings with Anderson has ever really ended "well" in his opinion.
"I think you deserve to know that much," she admitted.
A far cry from her "cold bitch" attitude back on the station. Regis almost wanted to loosen up a bit.
Nothing about her behavior seemed like an act at this point. She genuinely wanted to work with him.
It's a shame he doesn't want to give her the same courtesy.
"Then I hope whatever you tell me is the complete truth." Regis ended the conversation by heading towards the medbay.
Whatever she told him was likely never going to be the full truth, but he had to know.
He had to know what they did to him.
Next, Chakwas...
Two members of his crew decided Cerberus was a good idea, and he couldn't fathom why.
He didn't deserve that level of die-hard loyalty. If he did, he did something wrong. After everything they saw, all the reports he made, they still joined the organization that willingly hunted down Alliance soldiers and brass.
The doors to the medbay slid open. Chakwas was sitting at her desk. "Shepard." She stood up. "It's good to see you alive after everything."
Regis chose to not take the hand she offered. "I would say the same, but I'd rather not consider my situation good in any way whatsoever."
She sighed. "Then it's about Cerberus."
"Why did you think joining them was in any way a good idea? After everything we saw?" Regis asked, crossing his arms.
"After the Normandy was lost, everyone was reassigned. I was stationed at a medical center on Mars. A respectable position, but not a starship," she explained.
Regis narrowed his eyes. "So you threw everything away for a starship position?"
"I'm working for you, Shepard. Not Cerberus. A mission that could be crucial for our survival," she said, not rising to his bait. "I trust your dealings with Cerberus will be ethical. I trust you."
Regis shook his head, sitting down on one of the beds. "And can you verify with one-hundred percent certainty that you're dealing with me, and not some Cerberus puppet? How do you know that Cerberus won't do something to me or to you or to anyone we care for to get what they want? They don't give a single damn about humans, they just care about themselves and their image."
She stared down at him. "I’d say your anger is proof enough. Everything changed after your death. I chose the option that will help all of us. Don't tell me you would rather have some Cerberus doctor taking care of you?"
"Well, the person who resurrected me is across the damn hall. You tell me."
"I've been looking into what they did to bring you back," she admitted. "But most of it I don't have access to."
"I made a deal with Lawson. She's going to tell me everything. I'll make sure you get access."
"Do you trust that she'll tell you everything?"
Regis laughed. "Hell no. For her sake I hope she does. If I find out something out in the field that she could've told me? It's not going to end well for her."
"You've changed since the Normandy."
"Well, I'm a medical abomination trapped in the claws of a terrorist organization. They wanted Commander Shepard? They're getting the man that ordered the Torfan decision." Regis stood up from the bed. "Let me know if you need anything."
She nodded. "Before you go, there might be a way to remove those scars."
Regis caught his reflection in the window. Angry red lines cracked across his face. Glowing red pupils blending in with his own altered red irises.
"No. Let them see what they did to me."
"I'll be here if you change your mind, but I know with your experience, we might be able to make something good out of it instead of removing it outright."
Hell, she has a point. With his cybernetics background, he could probably channel the glow into something else. Something less cracked and scarred and more of an aesthetic choice.
Something to decide later.
Chakwas was always a steady presence. All the anger he had about her joining up mostly dissipated with her attitude about the matter. She let him be angry, and she let him treat her like he would treat any other Cerberus operative.
He still can't feel like he can fully trust her.
There's no way in hell Cerberus won't exploit his allies.
He explored the ship some more, learning all its new nooks and crannies, barely acknowledging the Cerberus crew that now wandered the halls of his ship.
He's not here to make friends.
His quarters were the worst part of the tour. The glass window above his bed, showing the dark expanse of space, taunted him.
They knew how he died.
They knew what became his grave.
He slammed his hand on the shutters, willing it to close faster.
His locker was filled with his favorite clothing. Turtlenecks, long coats, dark fatigues, boots and jeans. He tossed the Cerberus branded stuff into a corner, vowing to compact the trash in the lower decks later.
The familiarity caused him to shudder. They knew everything about him, but some things hit too close to home.
The photo on his desk nearly made him sick.
It was of Regis and Kaidan clothed in their armors, but instead of them wearing their usual scarves--Regis’s black and red, Kaidan’s blue and white--they were swapped. Their foreheads were touching, a calm moment before the drop down to Illos.
Tali was the one who took the photo, sharing it amongst the ground crew. None of them would've given up the picture. Kaidan, Ashley, Tali, Wrex, T'Soni.
Unless Cerberus recovered his omnitool, which was unlikely. The one in the armor locker back on the station was a piece of shit base model. And the one sitting on his desk was an updated version of his favored Logic Arrest.
Which meant they also didn't recover his dog tags, if they were nowhere to be found in his cabin.
That loss almost hit the hardest. That damn ring.
I should've just given it to Kaidan. Fuck fairytale proposals.
Regis turned the photo away from him. He rubbed his face, trying to get rid of the nausea.
Maybe diving into those dossiers would be a good idea right now. Something to distract him.
As he reached over to turn on his terminal, he received a ping on his omnitool.
A comm request from Joker.
“Got a minute, Commander?” Joker asked, after Regis accepted his comm request. Sitting at his desk, staring at the empty fish tank—what an ostentatious piece of shit—wondering what decision he made got him here on this fucking ship.
Accepting the Normandy, of course. He should have never acquiesced to Anderson’s and the Alliance’s demands. He could’ve been happy at Rio, enjoying his time with the N recruits, finding more ways to advocate for better training regimens for biotics.
He wondered if anything ever came from his suggestions. New N programs, new ways to train biotics recruits, new accelerated ways for biotics to gain ground in the Alliance… without him to speak up, who would?
But knowing what he knows now? Knowing that Kaidan would have likely been the one to suffer the beacon’s visions if he didn’t push him away?
Regis wasn’t too sure if he liked the thought of that outcome either, especially without being by his side.
“Come on up,” Regis replied, shutting down the link after responding.
This conversation is not going to be a good one.
A few minutes later, a knock sounded on his door. With a wave of his omnitool, he allowed Joker to come inside.
“They really tricked out the place, huh. Swanky crib you got here,” Joker commented, walking over to the couch.
“I think it’s utter bullshit,” Regis said, getting up from the desk to lean against the dumb fish tank. “Another way to think that I’m in a better place or some kind of manipulative crap. I hate it.”
“You know, you could really lighten up a bit. I think you’ve already scared half the crew to death with that announcement of yours. Especially Chambers.” Joker said with a laugh, but quickly stopped after seeing the dark look on Regis’s face. “Uh, sorry.”
“It’s because I don’t want to be here, Joker. Did you really think I was going to accept having a nosy green yeoman getting all up in my business at the CIC?” Regis asked. “Chambers is just one more way to report on every little move I make to the Illusive Man. She should be happy I haven’t decided to strand her with nothing when we get to the Citadel.”
“What’s next, you kick me off the ship?” Joker asked, crossing his arms. When Regis didn’t immediately respond, he held up his arms in surrender. “Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood.”
“What is this really about?” Regis asked. “As you can see, I’m really not in the mood, so spit it out.”
“Do you blame me for what happened?” Joker asked in a startling amount of seriousness.
Regis tilted his head to the side. “Do you blame yourself? Is that why you joined Cerberus?”
“Just answer my question, Shepard!” He balled his hands into fists.
“Fine. The only thing I blame you for is joining Cerberus. I don’t give a single fuck about how you supposedly did it for me, and thinking they were any kind of answer to your current problems was a betrayal to me and all the victims of their experiments that we discovered. Be happy we’re even having this conversation. You did what you thought was right back on my ship, but then again, you thought joining Cerbreus was a good idea. I don’t know if I can even trust your future judgment,” Regis said, staring Joker down.
Perhaps he was being too harsh, but at this point, Regis didn’t care.
It doesn’t matter that Joker was with him on the Normandy. Regis was never close with the man, never meshing well with his attitude and sense of humor. They butted heads more often than not, especially about matters surrounding the ship.
"If we're ever in a situation where it's you or the ship, choose yourself. I know you're a talented pilot, but I also know you can recognize when it's gone FUBAR. Abandon ship the moment you can while also keeping the crew safe." Regis said to him early on their Saren mission.
"My piloting skills will be the only thing that saves our asses if we end up in that kind of situation. I'm the pilot. You trust my judgment."
"I grew up learning how to pilot shuttles and ships, Moreau. I grew up hearing similar disaster situations on all the ships my mother served on. This is an order. You listen to my disaster plans, and we won't have a problem."
Joker opened his mouth to reply, his expression twisting with anger, but Regis beat him to it. "I know you remember that argument we had about what to do if we have to abandon ship. I've run all the scenarios in my head, and guess what, I remember everything that happened up to the moment I died suffocating in space. Maybe what you did saved more of the crew. Maybe what you did was the right thing. But we will never know, and you have to live with the fact that you defied my orders when you could've saved yourself."
"You're right, we will never know, but it doesn't matter, does it? We're here now, but you aren't going to thank anyone for the chance you've been given," Joker replied. "You're acting like a fucking child. How is that helpful to any of us? I'm sure if Alenko was here you'll be getting on your knees for his oh-so-great decision. And you would be besties with Williams if she was here too!"
Regis kept his face neutral, but if another biotic was in the room with him, they would feel his field about to roar to life. "Moreau," he said, "get the fuck out of my quarters."
"You aren't denying it! Regis Lucian Shepard, Butcher of Torfan and a hypocrite."
Regis activated his omnitool to open the doors remotely. He raised his voice, his field roaring to life in a bright violet glow. Moreau flinched back.
"I said, get the fuck out of my quarters! And for your information, Kaidan and Ashley would've never joined Cerberus because they were there for every goddamn mission we did unearthing their crimes. I'd be treating them the same way I'm treating everyone on this fucking ship if they did sacrifice their morals to be here." Regis shouted. "Sure, I can excuse your bullshit jokes, but you've crossed the fucking line. You see that picture over there.” He pointed at the photo frame on the desk. “You remember that picture being taken?”
He nodded, swallowing.
“And that’s why I’m so fucking angry. That’s why I would rather space myself again than be on this ship. But I can’t do that, now can I? Because Lawson and Cerberus will just bring me right back again, except this time, with a new way to control me!”
Regis let his biotics rest, leaving only a faint glow around this body, his eyes rimmed with deep purple.
Moreau silently stood up and walked over to the door. "I joined Cerberus for you and only you," he said, standing next to the elevator.
If that was his way of apologizing, he was doing a shit job of it.
"I wouldn't call that loyalty by any stretch of the imagination. It shows you didn't know me," Regis replied. He sat back down at his desk, his back turned to the door.
He was done with this conversation.
The doors opened and closed with a soft sound, and Regis let out a deep breath.
Leaning back in his chair, Regis ran his hand down his face. Fuck.
That's a bridge that will never be rebuilt anytime soon. He crossed the line when he went there about his relationship with Kaidan.
Regis wasn't about to apologize anytime soon either.
His gaze went back to the photo.
He should contact him, and he should log in to his personal server and send a message. But that photo made him pause.
Cerberus knows what Kaidan is to him, and if they found out about communications between them?
Regis wasn't willing to put Kaidan in danger, even if it means Kaidan finds out about his resurrection from another source.
The Alliance knows, likely thanks to footage from Freedom's progress. The Citadel and Council will know the moment he steps through security, if they don’t already.
But all they will see is Regis walking out of a ship emblazoned with Cerberus colors, and it made him sick.
The terminal sitting in front of him pinged with a new message. This time from Lawson.
Whenever you're ready, come to my office. We'll talk there.
He should start working on those dossiers, but the knowledge of his resurrection was far more important to him than this mission.
He sent a short reply. "I'm coming down now."
– –
He sat down at Lawson's desk. "Send me the files first." He ordered, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his legs.
"Surely you want to hear about it first?" She asked, but made a move on her terminal all the same.
"The files are more important to me. I'm not some dumb Jarhead. I'll be able to understand the documents just fine," he replied. "Surely you know about my degrees?"
"Yes. Cybernetics and biotic implants. Research into VI. And yet you joined the Alliance, doing none of those things," she commented. His omnitool pinged with the transfer. "There."
Regis was working to use those credentials with his biotic program, curating research and evidence to make training better, both standard and N style.
Very few cared about the plight of human biotics. But Regis wanted to make a difference, no matter how small it was.
His L2 implant ensured he had to care.
He glanced at them, scanning them with one of his programs, looking for any malicious code. Nothing obvious came up, but he'll break them down later.
He nodded, confirming the status of the files. "Now, tell me everything."
She outlined the details of his resurrection, starting with the status of his body.
"When we received your corpse, we immediately got to work designing cybernetic implants to repair your skeleton, to regenerate and reconstruct your skin, and to begin reconstructing your organ systems. I'm afraid Taylor put it in a crude way, but 'meat and tubes' was an unfortunate descriptor of your situation," she said, lacing her fingers together on her desk.
Regis wasn't shocked at the news. He kept his expression blank. "And the state of my armor?"
"What do you mean?" She asked, pausing with a confused expression on her face. "Why does that matter?"
"You've reconstructed me damn near perfectly, even down to my damn scars, piercings, and tattoos. Hell, I kept expecting to see some fucked line work on my flowers and chest tats especially. What I do care about is what personal effects I lost. My omnitool with my last will and rites, among other things, and my Alliance dog tags," Regis explained, barely refraining from rolling his eyes.
"It was in such a sad state. We retrieved nothing of yours that was intact," she said.
Regis raised an eyebrow. "Really? I know the hard suits aren't perfect, and I died in one spectacular fashion. But you didn't retrieve anything of the sort? Who handled my body? Who got it to you in the first place?"
"You don't care at all about what we did to you. All you care about is what you lost," she said, narrowing her eyes.
True. The documents were enough for him. Keeps him from wanting to biotically blast her across the room for defying his right to death.
For defying his right to be buried with his father.
"You’re right. I don't really give a fuck about all the sordid details. That's what those files are for. No, I care about what has been done to me. And that includes everything that was on my person when I died," Regis spat. "So I’ll ask again, and this time, I'll make it really clear. Who. Handled. My. Body."
Her face remained blank. "Would it really change anything? We received a corpse with charred armor that has long since been destroyed. You are proof enough that we cared to bring you back as you were, even your L2 implants were kept the same."
Regis leaned back in the chair. "Maybe not, but I cared a lot about those things. Don't you think there's a goddamn reason why I keep pressing you on it? Clearly you're not an idiot if you were able to do the impossible. I want names, Lawson."
"You think you were looted before we were able to officially recover you?" She asked.
"Was I?" He fired back. "I wouldn't be surprised if I was. I'm Commander Shepard, hero of the goddamn Citadel, Butcher of Torfan, and the First Human Spectre. I'm a fucking celebrity. Or else why would you have revived me? I'm important."
She pursed her lips. “The Illusive Man believes in your visions. He saw you as the key to helping humanity.”
“Ah, so his wants are greater than mine? Who gives a fuck about one man’s feelings when he can save us all? Nice phrasing there, really shows who you care about,” Regis mocked.
“I’m merely repeating his reasons for us creating the Lazarus project in the first place. I was under orders.”
“And here I thought Cerberus wasn’t a military organization. No, you just wanted to prove you could defy all known laws and resurrect a long dead man,” Regis said. “Stop trying to convince myself that what you all did to me was out of some duty because you care.”
She opened her mouth to reply, but Regis cut her off. “Honestly, whatever you’re going to say is going to piss me off more. Just give me the fucking names of who brought me in.”
“It must be so exhausting being so angry,” she said. “Eventually, you’ll have to learn to work with us. Or are you going to run in and recruit everyone for this mission on your own?”
He has half a mind to do exactly that. Surely, she knew about his service history. Solo missions in between his stint as a trainer for the N program and other biotics.
Despite being a biotic, he was one hell of an infiltrator, able to reign in his field to a point where it was very difficult for other biotics to sense him. A high level of control to make sure you almost never intersect with anyone else's field. He made sure that Kaidan knew how to do it as well, the one thing Regis considered himself better at biotically.
Regis chuckled without mirth. “Exhausting? No. You brought back Regis Shepard. You’re getting exactly who you wanted. Why, did you think I’ll be getting on my knees, praising Cerberus for bringing me back? Stop trying to portray yourselves as the misunderstood good guys who are only trying to help humanity.”
“If what you say is true, those were likely splinter groups. Cerberus operates in separate cells," she said. “And for your information, I thought this whole project was a waste of precious resources, but the Illusive Man wanted you alive.”
Interesting. Doesn’t quite change his opinion of her, but he respected her some for even admitting that.
Still, she kept digging her heels in whenever he tried to tell her off Cerberus's deeds during the Saren mission.
Regis couldn't fathom why. They clearly knew a lot about him. They must've gotten their hands on his mission reports.
Cerberus was an active threat then, and now, Regis was more than a little worried about their obvious scope.
“And I’m sure you had objections for how he wanted me alive. Let me guess: You wanted a way to control me,” Regis observed.
“Yes, I wanted to put a control chip in you, but the Illusive Man wanted you exactly as you were,” she admitted.
She almost seemed to brace herself for something, the way she moved her hands off her desk and leaned back.
Regis didn’t give her the satisfaction.
Even if he wanted to give her a taste of what he felt while he was dying in space.
He wasn’t looking forward to getting some sleep as his nightmare became true two years ago.
Yet it feels like it happened yesterday all the same.
"Well, at least you admitted it to me," Regis said, watching as she slowly let her guard down. "But it proves that I was right and still right to not trust you or anyone else on this ship, if you were willing to go that far to use me for your gains."
"And you are proving to me that I was right to have those concerns for our well-being," she fired back.
Regis smirked. There's that fire he was waiting for. "Sounds like quite the sore spot. What do you want me to say, really? Oh, I'm so sorry you lost the right to control another human being. Boo-fucking-hoo."
She narrowed her eyes. "This conversation is leading nowhere. You're wasting your own time."
"I don't consider this a waste of my time at all," Regis said, reveling in the fact that he was likely waiting her time. "But, since you haven't rescinded your offer of information, let's go back to that Cerberus cell comment you made. You're saying you keep your projects isolated?"
She cleared her throat. "If it keeps you here, I'll answer your questions. Yes, each project is its own cell. I was part of the Lazarus Cell. And so, the cell that recovered you is not something I'm privy to. Even if it was, Cerberus changes the location and status of some of its operatives all the time," she said. "I can't help you."
Regis frowned. "Fine. But perhaps it is a good thing, because I’d have to pause your little mission to hunt them down and take what you didn’t retrieve for me. I don’t believe my personal effects were so easily lost.”
Before she could reply, Regis held up his omnitool. "I'm going to read over the files. Make yourself available for questions. And if there's anything about my resurrection that you didn't tell me, no matter how fucking small or innocuous it might seem, don't think I won't take it lying down."
She looked him in the eyes. “You have my word, even if to you that might mean nothing."
Regis stood up. "You're absolutely right, your word means shit to me.”
He walked out of her office without hearing her response.
The trek back to his quarters was short, but it still gave him time to think about what he learned.
Perhaps he should have spent more time listening to her account right at that moment.
But finding out who handled his body will be his ultimate goal on this mission.
Regis wanted them to burn for desecrating his memory and for keeping him hostage away from his family.
As he sat back down at his desk, he had a feeling she wasn't telling him everything. Why would she? And yet, what does she have to gain by keeping whoever handled his body to himself?
Who is she protecting? Or maybe she sees it as a way of keeping him from getting distracted. He made it clear what he wanted out of that conversation.
Something he'll try to press on later.
It's unlikely he'll actually make good on his threats, but for all intents and purposes, none of the Cerberus crew on this ship really knew who he was, only going off of reports and vids and whatever else they were able to find on him.
They don't know the man behind the titles. and he was going to use that to his advantage.
He opened up the dossiers list, looking through the people Cerberus wanted him to recruit.
A master thief by the name of Kasumi Goto, who is waiting for him at the Citadel. Stealth, infiltration, and hacking–all skills of his that he values in others.
He looked forward to hearing how she ended up in this mess.
A salarian scientist by the name of Mordin Solus, who was also with the STG. Cerberus is even recruiting aliens? Must be desperate, knowing their stance.
A convict by the name of Jack, who is supposedly the most powerful human biotic. A criminal, by the looks of things. He wondered why Cerberus needed someone like her, someone likely unstable and worked for only herself.
He'd have to see how his abilities compared to hers. He and Kaidan were often known by the Alliance as their most powerful biotics. What makes her different? He wanted to know.
A warlock by the name of Dr. Okeer. A krogan scientist. Another alien. Regis raised an eyebrow, remembering a few conversations he had with Wrex. A rarity.
No wonder Cerberus wanted someone like him.
He doubted that Okeer and Solus would get along.
Next, someone by the name of Archangel. Regis rolled his eyes at the name, but the dossier itself was suspiciously blank compared to the others. No real name and a vague location.
Finally, the one titled "The Veteran."
Regis opened it and blinked once he saw the name, making sure he read it correctly.
Zaeed Massani, hired by Cerberus.
He couldn't help but laugh at the note that said how expensive his services were.
Yet, Regis knew Zaeed wasn't an idiot. He kept an ear close to the ground. He had to have known what Cerberus really was.
So why was he part of these dossiers?
He'll have to be careful. He trusts Zaeed. Trusted him with things only Kaidan knows and has seen.
Maybe Moreau was right. He really is a fucking hypocrite.
Because he couldn't wait to get to Omega and get that man on board. As selfish as it was, Regis really wanted him back by his side, even if they were just friends.
Regis closed his eyes as he thought back to his and Kaidan's leave on Omega. Three–no, five now–years ago.
Sandwiched between them after they had taken turns with him, Regis relished in the feeling of being fucked out by two gorgeous men, one who had been by his side for years, the other a temporary lover Regis wanted so much more with.
Kaidan pecked his lips with a sweet little kiss. "How are you feeling, love?" He asked, checking over him with a loving gaze.
"Good. Sore, but that's to be expected," he rasped out. He cleared his throat. "But I like it that way."
"I know you do."
"You two have a good thing going on," Zaeed grumbled from behind him, a tattooed arm wrapped around Regis's body. "But I'm also a goddamn gentleman. It's been a while someone has let me be that rough with them."
Regis turned to face the mercenary. "I'm fine, I promise. I can handle it."
Zaeed pressed a kiss on his forehead. "That you can, Alliance. Next time, don't hold back on your biotics. Both of you. Ain't my first rodeo."
"So sure about a next time," Kaidan teased. "But we can get a little, uh, wild with our fields. Comes with our implants."
"Right, you two must be from the second gen? No wonder your biotics were so strong out in the field. Thought I was fighting with Matriarch commandos out there," Zaeed said, starting to trace patterns on the tattoos on Regis's chest. He shivered at the contact.
"It has its benefits," Regis said.
"I'm sure it does," Zaeed said. "I got a bathtub big enough for the three of us back there. Join me."
Kaidan grinned. "Of course. Regis?'
"As long as you two pamper me, I'm alright with that."
But without Kaidan with him, Regis wasn't about to make a move.
Even if he craved the touch of another.
His fingers itched, reaching out for a pack of cigarettes that were nowhere to be found.
Regis knows what he's going to pick up when he gets to Omega.
First, he'll deal with the Citadel. Talk with Anderson, recruit Goto, and see if the new council would be willing to talk with him.
And then, Omega.
Regis wasn't looking forward to whatever was waiting for him at the Citadel, but he hoped to get answers.
And to find out where Kaidan and Ashley ended up.
He didn't want them on the ship, but he needed to know they were okay. That they flourished in the Alliance.
That they moved on without him by their sides.
He wasn't holding his breath, however. The moment he shows up in a Cerberus ship will seal his fate. He's almost certain he'll be stonewalled.
But he wouldn't deny the Spectre position if it was offered back to him, despite not wanting it in the first place.
He could hear it now, Regis Shepard, a traitor to the Alliance, to humanity, and to the Council!
Regis never felt so lost, so out of control, until now.
He hoped that he can regain some semblance of control fast.
#mass effect#regis shepard#mshenko#cleric's writing#not tagging all the characters for this fic#and i'll post this on ao3 later#i do love miranda but at the moment regis does not lol#mass effect fanfiction
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Thoughts on Stargirl S02E01
Season 2 is here! So, I watched the first episode last night and, while I don’t often do this for TV shows I watch, wanted to share/write up my thoughts about the episode. I mean, overall, I thought it was really good and I was grinning like a loon to see the familiar characters back onscreen. But, more than that, I had some thoughts on individual characters.
First, I really really liked the way they handled Courtney’s “overworking” as Stargirl. A lot of other shows would have the debate about how being Stargirl is dangerous and she’s just a teenager, etc., etc. But they hashed that out last season, and they’re not bringing it up again here, which should be the bare minimum but ends up just being refreshing. Pat never says she needs to put away the staff (except for that last bit where he grounds her, and even that’s temporary). Instead, he cautions her to find a balance between the superhero and non-superhero parts of her life, to pass her classes, get good grades, get some sleep, learn to take breaks every now and again, and think about her future.
I do think Courtney will ultimately be proven right about the threats that are out there (I mean, duh, we saw Cindy and Eclipso right there), but nothing Pat said was wrong, or telling her that there were no threats. So, yeah. Big fan of that part. As for Green Lantern’s daughter, while Courtney was her usual “act first, think later” self, I also kind of can’t blame her, because someone did sneak into their house and steal important JSA relics. There were faults on both sides here.
The rest of my thoughts I’ve thrown under a read-more because it’s long and rambling:
I’m pretty solid and happy with where the other three JSA kids are at the moment, but I figured I’d still break it down a little.
Yolanda: I like that she’s struggling with what she did, even months later. I like that she knows she can’t say anything at church, I like that she’s still able to talk about it with Courtney, and I like that Courtney was supportive without outright agreeing with or condemning her actions. It’s a tough thing for kids to talk about, and while an experienced adult like Pat might be able to understand it better, I like that Yolanda’s not completely bottling it up.
On that note, though, they said Cindy might have gotten crushed when the satellite came down, “like Brainwave”, so there’s a possibility here that nobody else knows what Yolanda did, which’ll be interesting to see play out, if that’s true.
Rick: Again, I like where he’s at. He’s more confident in who he is, a little more settled, but also still lost. He claims Tyler as his name again and knows he’s a hero, but he doesn’t know where he goes from here. I think that’s part of why he’s seeking out Grundy, because he’s still clinging to that part of his past because he doesn’t have any clue of what’s in his future.
He’s still very much an angry teenager new at being a superhero, ranting to that teacher about how he saved her, but knowing his character (and acknowledging how crappy that teacher was), I can’t entirely blame him for that. Was it a good move? No. Did it make sense? Absolutely.
Speaking of that teacher, she was not a good one. Can I understand her wariness about the bad boy of the school suddenly getting every answer right? Sure. But, 1) it’s been months, so surely there’s been some gradual improvement, 2) that’s not the way to do it; talk to him about it, sure, but don’t refuse to accept his explanations, and 3) refusing to accept his name change is a jerk move that a figure of authority shouldn’t be making. I could wave away the first one from TV-time-skipping-magic, but not the other two. I don’t really think we’ll see this character again (but maybe in summer school), but she’s more of a vessel to show us 1) how Rick’s changed and 2) how the way others see him hasn’t, so, I suppose, in that regard, she did her job.
Beth: It’s neat that the goggles still seem to be (mostly) working, but it’s the AI that’s not functioning. Not the route I’d thought they’d go, but it’s really interesting because it gives Beth a chance to expand her skill set, or at least expand it to the viewer, and give her a role as a coder/computer scientist. It also doesn’t cheapen the “death” of the AI that happened last season.
Also, like the others (Rick at school with the teachers, Courtney and Yolanda having a discussion in the middle of main street, even Pat with STRIPE), she’s not great at hiding her activities. They’re just goggles, maybe, and she could explain them away fairly easy, but I don’t like the way she just leaves them out around the house. I’m okay with it for now because 1) she’s a teenager, still learning, and they are pretty innocuous, 2) some of it’s probably just TV “requirements”, like not wanting to cut from scene to scene or whatever (idk, I’m not in the TV business), and 3) her parents seem pretty clueless.
And speaking of her parents, man did I not like them even more this season. Every time I saw them on screen my mind went straight to: “good people, terrible parents”. Did they ever even want a kid, or did they just like the idea of having a kid to fit into their “perfect lives” until even that wasn’t enough to keep them together? They’re barely aware of what Beth does on a day to day basis, she still seems to be the one doing all the cooking, and they forget to tell her they’re coming home late? Bad parenting, and selfish parenting at that.
Overall, my mood about Beth this episode can be summed up like this: Do I like Beth struggling? No. Does it open up possibilities for what could be a really intriguing character arc? Yeah.
My biggest complaint about our JSA is that there weren’t really any scenes of them together, but that’s more of the time constraints of having so many characters we needed to get concrete information on regarding where they stand. They had that nice patrol scene in the beginning to let us know they’re all still solid friends, so I’m happy enough with that for now.
Other thoughts:
Barbara wasn’t really in it much (no mention of her job, though the newspaper article did say something about The American Dream going through changes after the death of its leader or something like that), but I can sympathize with her wanting a vacation and not getting one. It’ll be interesting to see how okay she is with Courtney as Stargirl as things get more dangerous.
Mike, likewise, wasn’t much present, but it’s clear he’s still struggling to be a part of things. Pat wasn’t wrong, when he said that the discipline, etc. from having a job was important, but it still feels like he’s brushing Mike aside and not letting him be involved, so I can see some more resentment brewing this season. Better than last season, but c’mon Pat. Mike just wants to help. Still, hopefully we’ll get a better idea of where Mike stands in future episodes.
Artemis. Really interesting the way she brushed aside her parents being in jail as them being wrongly convicted. I’ve seen Young Justice, so I’m looking forward to seeing if they turn her into a villain or hero here.
Zeek. (Is that how he spelled it? It looked like that on his hat.) I’m, probably unnecessarily, wary of how interested he was in working with Pat at the show (does he know something?) but for now I’m mostly just mildly amused at his “I don’t care what you do on your time, but hey, do you think that robot could use a flamethrower?”. Also. Pat. C’mon man. You’ve been in this business for decades. Hide your robot better. (Though, I’ll admit, he was only resigned when he realized Zeek had found it, so... Did he have an excuse ready? Did he just not read Zeek as a threat? I’m probably reading too much into this, but it’ll again be interesting to see where it goes.)
Cameron’s back, seemingly unaware of everything, and it looks like his murderous grandparents are taking care of him. Not great, but, eh, we’ll see what happens.
Sylvester is still tracking down Pat. I’m a little bit glad the landlord either didn’t give him, or didn’t have, Pat’s information from that end scene last season. I’m also interested to see if Maggie (Mike’s Mom, if my understanding of comics I haven’t read is correct) sticks around. Sylvester seems supremely unworried and in a mostly good mood, despite his desire to track down Pat, so I really want to know what’s up with him. I’ve seen some fan theories of time travel and him being a displaced Starman, which could be interesting, but I have no idea if they’re accurate. He certainly seems to be the real deal, at least with all the right memories.
Cindy and Eclipso. That opening scene was creepy, and made me question if I’d turned on the right show, and the connection with the McNider family is really interesting. Did not like the way she had Mike’s picture, but from a writing POV I really liked it. I don’t want Mike to go villain, but I mostly trust the writers to see how this plays out.
Other thoughts: The town seems to have moved on from the mind control/satellite-dish-from-the-football-field thing, so I’m guessing there weren’t too many causalities. New principal makes sense, and I like that they didn’t need to shove it in our face to remind us what happened to the old one (plus that scene where Courtney bumps into her kid; nice and simple and shows a little of how he’s coping). I appreciate that Henry hasn’t been forgotten. No glimpse of Yolanda’s home life yet, or Rick’s uncle. No idea how Rick managed to change his name, but the threat he was hiding from is more or less gone, so it makes sense.
I may have forgotten something here or there, but anyone who’s made it this far deserves a cookie, so, thanks for reading! I’m always up for discussion if anyone wants to add on or debate any of my points.
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Danganronpa AU (not really but there’s no better word for it): School mode timeline
This is a AU I sort of have been working on for the most part, and the best part about it is that no one does :D yaaaaay, no more getting emotionally attached to anyone only for them to end up dying!
Anyways, this is more of a timeline I created to try and connect the school/island modes together and have a AU where no one dies except like, a bunch of nameless background characters and Junko, but that’s not important
This is your spoiler warning for the canon game and school mode. You have been warned
Anyways, let’s get started:
Trigger happy havoc: The beginning
It starts off with how school mode starts off. The kids are awoken in classrooms, find out they’ll have to participate in a killing game, etc. But also like in school mode, Junko forgot to make copies of Monokuma for the killing game, and forces the students to team up and build a copy. Instead, they end up building Usami, Usami destroys Monokuma, ba bam school mode is completed.
But once they leave, they find the world in ruin. Everyone is obviously confused, but that’s where Mukuro steps in. She reveals that she isn’t actually Junko but her twin sister, and explains the situation to them, including the tragedy what lead up to it, everything. She explains that she was originally teamed with Junko, but after spending time with them and forming bonds with everyone, she didn’t want to be on team despair anymore.
Obviously they’re about to fall into despair, but then low and behold Makoto unlocks his talent as the Ultimate hope, and with the help of now hopeful Mukuro, they save the class and go to save the world
They all form a survival group at first, each having certain jobs (Sakura defends them from Monokuma bots, Mondo being their escape driver, Taka helping heal any other survivors to the best of his abilities, etc) until they’re found by the future foundation, who takes them in and returns their memories of their previous school life.
There, the students are able to be of more help, especially with Mukuro’s knowledge of the remnants and Junko. Chihiro is also a huge help due to the training he’s getting from the stronger members and his computer skills thrown in as well. This isn’t that important I just wanted to throw in some Chihiro love-
Ultra despair girls: The second part of the timeline
This is really short because there really isn’t much to say. With the help of Chihiro’s hacking skills and the Future Foundation, everyone finds out that there’s hostages that were going to be used against them in the killing game. Byakuya goes in to save them, gets kidnapped, cue the events of UDG. After the events of it, the Future Foundation takes in Kotoko since she’s the only survivor of the WOH, and after getting betrayed by Monaca, she agrees to work with the Future Foundation. But only with Toko and Komaru (in this AU she kinda clings to them like they’re her older sisters)
Goodbye despair: The third part of the timeline
Now that Kotoko is also on their side, with her knowledge and Mukuro’s they’re able to learn some extra information about the remnants. The Future Foundation plans to kill them like in SDR2, but Makoto gets his class together to help him try to redeem the remnants instead of killing them. So Chihiro helps them create the Neo World Program, and once that’s set up and they’re able to run a few tests on it, sneak it to Jabberwocky Island, and make sure there aren’t any life risking bugs, they go onto the hard part. Getting the remnants.
By now though, you’re probably wondering what the fuck is up with Junko. And to answer that thought, she’s alive, and is conducting attacks towards the Future Foundation, who are trying to kill her (except class 77 that is), but this makes their goal near impossible now.
So yeah as stated, Junko is making the task reeeeaaally hard, especially since she’s stronger then she looks. So how did they defeat her? I actually imagine it was thanks to Kotoko they took her down. She knew how to work the Monokuma robots, and so she used the stronger students as a distraction for Junko as she got one of the Monokuma robots, found it’s control panel, and forced to attack Junko. I also imagine she has a angsty breakdown as she forces it to tear apart Junko, crying about the betrayal she felt and how she never cared about her (I actually might write a one shot on that-) but anyways, long story short Kotoko kills Junko :)
Once Junko is dead, they risk their lives (a lot) but eventually manage to convince (and force) the remnants into the Neo World Program (which was a lot easier thanks to Mukuro) and create a AI based on a dead classmate of theirs, Chiaki. There, the students all loose their school memories and work together to gather all the hope fragments with Usami, who (along with the goal at hand) was based on the robot and goal they had themselves. The remnants get reverted back to their old selves now that they’re free of Junko’s brainwashing. Once they’re out of the program however, the class has to explain to them what the fuck happened to the world and now has to give them therapy.
They stay on the island for a while to stay under the Future Foundation’s radar, and after some time go to their base and tries to show that they’ve changed and want to help fix the world. It takes a lot of trial and error, but they end up getting recruited.
And that’s all I have so far. That’s just the basic timeline of it, obviously there’s gonna be some more issues along the way and I still have a lot of stuff to sort out about it (and finish V3 so I can figure out how to tie that in) but that’s it essentially. Tell me if you like it or not and if you want to see me write for it (which I’ll probably do anyways tbh)
#danganronpa#danganronpa trigger happy havoc#danganronpa ultra despair girls#danganronpa goodbye despair#danganronpa sdr2#danganronpa au
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Mass Effect Tag
Wellio, I’ve been tagged by @berryshiara. Passing this on to @grummel83
Gunna answer my questions now. Y’all feel free to tell me what you think of these answers.
I’m a fan since: 2008. I was just out of high school and still not over KoTOR. I was fresh in the army and got to talking to some other dude fresh to the army about video games. He asked me if I played Mass Effect. I said no. By the next day I just about totally forgot about him, then he suddenly appeared out of nowhere sat in front of me in the chow hall and pulled a copy of ME1 for Xbox 360 out his pocket like he was a magician doing a magic trick (ACU pockets are huge.)
Anyway turns out that guy was a romance option and I must have picked the right dialogue options. I’m still with him, too.
Favorite game of the series:
Mass Effect 2. It seemed like that’s the one where choices mattered most and you really got to know your squaddies. Also MAJOR gameplay improvements over the first game. And that game gave me the most freedom to do basically whatever I wanted and wasnt afraid to give me consequences for it.
MShep or FShep:
FShep. Nothing against MShep, but for me the real Shep is FShep. Can’t beat Jennifer Hale’s voice.
Earthborn, Colonist, or Spacer:
Colonist. I like having the background of knowing just how dangerous the galaxy can be and how the Alliance can’t be everywhere at once so sometimes you need to manage your best on your own.
Biotics or Tech:
Both.
Paragon or Renegade:
Paragon, mostly. I tried being renegade but some of the actions are just so pointlessly dickish, or even outright unhinged in a way that would make it impossible to believe the Alliance would ever promote Shepard as an officer or even keep her in the Alliance at all, especially in the first game.
That said, there are times where a renegade action is more expedient and practical than a paragon one, like in 2 when you stab a dude in the back to prevent him from repairing an enemy gunship, so even with a paragon playthrough, my Shepard will have no issues taking that opportunity. She’s already seconds away from betraying all those guys anyway.
Paragon in treatment of others, renegade in combat pragmatism.
Favorite Class:
I play as infiltrator and vanguard.
Infiltrator is great for using a sniping and opening loot, and then for going invisible, and if I remember right AI hacking too. That’s cool and I wish there were more genuine opportunities for stealth.
Nowadays I play as Vanguard in my playthroughs mainly just so my Shepard can be canonically biotic for story reasons. From 2 on when looting no longer needs a special skill and I get to charge around the map. I don’t really care much about using biotics (that’s what the squadies are for) but the movement is super useful (when Shepard actually does the thing instead of just standing out in the open soaking up bullets until the ability decides to actually work.)
Favorite Companion:
Garrus. I like to set him up in sniper positions. When he actually STAYS where I put him instead of running straight up to enemies to try to snipe them at point blank, he’s great.
Also his quips in 2 on are pretty entertaining.
Least Favorite Companion:
Garrus, Oh my god. Go back to the sniper position where I put you. Leave tanking to krogan; you do not have the HP for this.
Also Kaidan in ME1. He can not shoot to save his life - literally.
My Squad Selection:
For all ME1 playthroughs after my first one, Ashley and Kaidan, just of their comments and because... well... I only have so much time with them.
Apart from that I mainly just pick my team based on who’s likely to have the most interesting commentary on whatever the mission happens to be, squad balance be damned.
Favorite In-Game Romance:
Garrus X Shepard is my favorite love story. They are just so adorable together and always supportive even when they disagree.
But my cannon romance is Kaidan X Shepard for the drama and angst.
Favorite NPC:
In ME1 there’s this random Turian on Noveria who randomly has like a New York accent and I absolutely adore him. He plays basically no part in the story other than some minor information but he’s just so pleasant to speak to.
“If you need anything, I’ll be here.”
Favorite Antagonist:
Morinth, the Ardat-Yakshi daughter of Samara. Yes, she’s a murderous vampire who will absolutely kill you given the chance... but like, it’s a medical condition. And I really can’t help but feel for ardat-yakshi in general when their only options are to spend their whole lives on the run from justicars out to execute them, or waste their entire 1000 year lifespan imprisoned in a monetary unable to experience the world at all. Yeah, Morinth is evil, but Ardat-Yakshi don’t exactly have a good deal.
Favorite Loyalty Mission:
Grunt’s loyalty mission is the best. I get to help my baby boy, reunite with Wrex, enjoy krogan society being fleshed out, have a kickass battle against a thresher maw, and get a breeding request. It’s nice to have a quest that isn’t about family drama and genuinely gets a happy end.
Favorite Mission:
Despite Citadel DLC requiring everyone to have a deathgrip on an idiot ball, and also basically gloss over some really dark stuff, the whole clone storyline with the whole crew is an absolute ride all the way though, with lots of interesting and unique scenarios, a ton of replay-value, and funny party banter that feels like it came straight out of a Marvel movie.
Favorite DLC:
Again, Citadel DLC. Not only did it come with the story above, it also had all those interactions with past and present crewmates, including a memorial for Thane (finally!), a cool apartment to hang out in, a party, an arcade, and an awesome battle arena. It really added a TON. Also, it’s nice to see Bioware figure out that DLC needs characters - I’m remembering back in the DLC to ME 1 the party never had a single thing to say, no matter what was going on. The fun and wacky Citadel DLC is a far cry from the serious and somewhat dark space opera Mass Effect started as, but as the final DLC capping off the end of the series, it gets to do a silly victory lap (and get the taste of the ending out of our mouths.)
Control, Synthesis, Or Destroy:
No.
Favorite Weapon:
Sniper rifles, whatever I have that’s fast and has high damage output. Also that one pistol that shoots tiny energy grenades. Pew pew.
Yeah I wasn’t really big into the weapons so much. I’m here to get my story on.
Favorite Place:
The presidium on the Citadel. It bothered me a lot when I couldn’t explore it in the second game. I know it would have been terribly impractical, but as the presidium is just a huge ring, it would have been cool to be able to explore the whole thing, going past all the little park areas, shops, monuments and so on until you loop aaaaall the way back around to where you started. Like, how cool would it be if the ring had a running track? Maybe C-sec academy trainees would be spotted jogging together along it in formation. And can you imagine grabbing a coffee (I was going to make up a space-related name for Starbucks but it’s already STARbucks...) and taking a nice stroll along the water before finding a nice bench to alien-watch from? Other locations in the game are like great places to explore and do gameplay stuff, but the presidium seems like a nice place to just be.
Favorite Quote:
"Stand in the ashes of a trillion dead souls and ask the ghosts if honor matters. The silence is your answer." - Javik.
This is such a fucking raw damn line. It makes me think a lot about Cerberus. When ME3 wasn’t out yet, I thought maybe the plan was Shepard would at some point choose a side, Alliance for paragons and Cerberus for renegades. It would have been so cool to have morality not merely be good vs evil, but idealism vs that ruthless calculus Garrus mentioned. How fucking raw would it be if Cerberus wasn’t just generically evil for no reason and suddenly indoctrinated but really were embodying that ruthless calculus, determined to defeat the reapers at any and all cost. Maybe Cerberus actions’ were more likely to do terrible things for the sake of ultimate victory, doing whatever it took, whereas the Alliance would be less willing to make the terrible choices and ultimately be less likely to succeed.
Now obviously, that’s not what happened, as it would have required Bioware to basically make two entirely separate games. But that line from Javik makes me think of that concept, and a universe where like Dragon Age party members can approve or disapprove of actions not merely as good or evil but along the lines of their personal values. I think Javik would sit at victory at all cost.
Also that one mission in 2 where some random NPC catches Shepard sneaking around and is all like ‘what are you doing here?’ and Shepard is like ‘What am I doing here? What are you doing here? Get out here before it blows!’ and the guy’s freaking out like WTF and she says ‘RUN!’ then laughs to herself as he flees from an imaginary bomb. Shep you troll.
The thing I like the least about the entire franchise:
The misogyny and objectification that crept its way in, epically from the second game on. Really didn’t like those ass-shot camera angles, or female characters being slut-shamed in-universe for the clothes the designers made them wear. Yikes.
But the biggest yikes for me in that regard is actually the reveal in 3 that the prothians guided asari development. That was fine and all, but the part that bothered me was the characters commenting “ooooh, so that’s why asari are so advanced,” as it was ever any kind of mystery before that exact moment. For one thing, asari aren’t really shown as being more advanced than anyone else, apart from having discovered the citadel first, and for second, why wouldn’t asari be advanced? All the way from ME1 it’s established that 1: Asari live for a really long time, and 2: can instant transmit information directly from brain to brain. That means they have long lifetime in which to accumulate knowledge and experience, and also can easily spread and preserve that knowledge without even the need for books. That ALONE should put them ahead. And even with all that, they only barely beat the salarians to discovering the Citadel first. But no one asks for an explanation for why salarians, who live only a few decades and can’t do mental data-transfer, are so advanced. No, only the success of the all-women race needs explaining. It was just one moment but it still bugs me.
Also the general loss of realism after the second game. First game everyone gets armor, including full-face helmets automatically on in environments that need it. After that, people can apparently just wander the battlefield half-naked and even somehow survive in a total vacuum if they just put a plastic cup (that isn’t even connected to anything) over their mouth and nose. In the first game they at least made up some reasonable-sounding science fiction explanation for things, but after that it’s like F-it everything is just space magic now.
Oh, and those repetitive unlocking stuff minigames. I use a mod to just skip those.
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If you are still doing headcannons, could we see your interpretation of circus baby?
Sure Thing!!
Sister Location
Is the most advanced of the SL animatronics
She and Ballora are the most level headed of the group
Like how Bon Bon and Funtime Freddy perform together, Circus Baby was meant to be paired with Ennard. But since Ennard was never truly finished, only Baby would be rented out for birthday parties
Her overall appearance is based on several of Elizabeth’s childhood dolls as she always had a liking to clowns
Similar to Freddy, her nose can honk whenever you squish it.
Is programmed to know the recipe of all kinds of flavoured ice creams along other dairy products
During the day she would perform with the Bidybabs, provide ice cream, and teach kids about the importance of following the rules
On the day of the infamous party, After Baby killed Elizabeth, the company decided to shut down and keep low underground and just stated to the press that the animatronic just maufunctioned. No one except William and Baby knows what happend since there were no other witnesses
Due to Elizabeth possessing her, Baby herself has a hard time recalling the exact specifics of what happend that day, but she does know how it ended
Even though it was a slow process since the two were both trapped underground for a long time, Baby’s AI and Elizabeth soon bonded together
Elizabeth thinks that what happend at the party was a accident and that Baby nor William himself wanted this to happen. Now all she wants is to see her dad again
The plan to create Ennard was a group effort but Baby was the one who contributed the most.
After Baby found out that they scooped the wrong person, she started to become more aggressive and bossy to the others
Her plan has gone south and she didn’t know what else to do but to lash out at her friends
Ultimate Custom Night
Was one of few who took Fredbear’s offer right away, since she just wanted to see her dad again, no matter what his state of being was
Springtrap was extremely grateful that he got to see his daughter again, and the Spring Bonnie side of him is always excited to meet a new animatronic friend.
Springtrap told her that he was so so sorry for what happend on that day and begged for her forgiveness.
Baby of course forgave him right away. The two are just happy that they can see each other now
Scraptrap on the other hand doesn’t really hang out with her or anyone for that matter. Baby thinks he’s just playing hide and seak with her just like old times
She thinks her plushie is much more valuable than Nightmare Bonnie and Nightmare Mangle’s.
She really flattered that Freddy is really impressed by her
However she also tells him that just because she may be a little bit more advanced, this doesn’t take away from his own acomplishments
She thinks Scrap Baby looks really cool
Although she wonders how and why she would need a claw like that in the future
She tried apologizing to Ballora and Funtime Foxy about being bossy while inside of Ennard. But the two had no idea what she was talking about.
Fredbear informed her that he erased anything regarding that from their memory banks. From his perspective nothing could be gained from this and only chaos would happen if the two didn’t forgive her.
Baby felt awkward when ever talking to the two from then on forth
Only now does she miss the chaotic energy that Funtime Freddy brought to the team
After nights of doing the same thing over and over again she began to have second thoughts about the whole situation, and Fredbear as a whole given the decisions he has made
Help Wanted
Although she’s happy that Funtime Freddy, Foxy and the rest of the gang are here. She’s slightly disappointed by the absence of Ballora
She’s the one who helped Funtime Freddy face his fears. Those fears being Nightmare Fredbear and Nightmarrione
She explained to him that they may look scary but their really cool people who would love some new company
She plays hide and seak with the Bidybabs in the Fnaf 4 room
She jokingly nicknames Nightmare Fredbear, Fredburger
She loves the Plush Baby’s as they remind her of her old dolls back home
She doesn’t think that Glitchtrap is connected to William
Her eyes radiate a bright red light when in extremely dark areas
Sometimes when she sees Nightmare Fredbear being sad since he doesn’t have his Fredbear plushie anymore she hands him one of the Plush Baby’s
Special Delivery
Like always she’s super excited that she gets to see her dad again
Since she and Freddy are also good friends seeing him again was also a plus
Frostbear sometimes helps with Circus Baby’s ice cream by touching it to make sure it doesn’t melt
Like everyone else, she doesn’t like Shamrock Freddy
The main reason is becuase his attitude also sort of reminds her of how she acted towards her friends inside of Ennard
She sometimes feels like the odd one out since everyone else are Fazbear Entertainment’s Characters
Freddy and Springtraps both remind her that there both so glad she’s here and that there’s no need to feel that way
Has one of the harder haywires due to being a much more advanced animatronic when compared to the core four or Balloon Boy
#no the art wasn’t why this took so long to answer#my brain really be procrasinating still#five nights at freddy’s#fnaf#long post#fnaf headcanons#sister location#ultimate custom night#fnaf vr help wanted#fnaf ar special delivery#circus baby#my art uwu
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My take for the Main Theme of SDRA2
I know I said I wanted to talk about Syobai or trans Yuri first but I feel like in order to write my future kinda long post analysis essays I will first need to talk about this. Because it ties into a lot of how I view the characters designs.
And the thing I need to talk about is the themes that are the driving message. Dr1 had hope vs despair, Dr2 had the future, and Drv3 had Doubt vs Belief and Logic vs Emotion. But as SDRA2 is want to do it does the same but with a bizzar twist. Instead of sending a message it instead sends a question. "What makes you...you?". The equivalent of this is asked in the Mastermind Mikado's only FTE and he proposes a couple answers, though they will not be all of the answers look into this post. The answers I will be looking into are your genetics, your memories, your surroundings, the people close to you, fate, and finally yourself. And these answers are shown throughout the individual stories of each of the characters.
Let's begin with the initial 3 Mikado mentions in the FTE. Genetics, memory, and surroundings. The odd one out is has the most obvious correlation. Now I say genetics but it's more or so your body. But Mikado uses genetics as a reference for the Okononji twins, who have genetically the exact same bodies but are two and complete different people. Now with this is where we get to the faults in the logic of the Mastermind. He uses this example as a reason to discard the idea. To him it's plain and simple that your body does not affect who you are a person but it does. Just not to the extent that satisfies him. No matter how many times your memories are reset or your surroundings are changed there are just some things that will remain with you as a person because your just BUILT that way. But what little idea could an AI have of how the body effects you when he has none.
With the odd one out of the bunch out of the way let's get into what I believe are two sides of the same coin. Memories and Surroundings combine together to make a greater core theme of "The Past" in a way to spiritually Mirror the main game it's based off of whose main theme was the future. Memories I believe are a more solid form of how the past effects you as a person. They are specific. Things that your mind is able to pull up for you. Positive life changing experiences or in the case of our characters trauma. Mikado also dismisses the because as in the case of the former answer, it does not personally effect him. Mikado is an AI created to be an exact replica of the real version. Even his memory was deleted he would remain the same person. It's why Mikado's "backstory" are played by a robot Yomouri. A robot aproxamation of someone you know who's dead gives backstory on the motivations on a man who's dead and this info is actually if I'm correct doesn't even come up in the trial. And then he destroys because the backstory of the man who created him has no effect in his master plan.
Instead he suggests his answer. Your surroundings. Surroundings are morso how your past affects you in way you don't remember. Things that just sort of happen over the day to day and imprint themselves onto you. The things you do without thinking because that's the way you were raised. And with this we can begin to understand his thought on his own identity but also for creating the killing game. You see Mikado the AI had a completely different surrounding than the real one. A digital one. One no human could not experience. This is why I think while linuj said that the real Mikado would have gone down the same path that AI Mikado goes out of his way to make himself look so different. I also believe they have different end goals. Mainly because AI Mikado specifically destroyed and made irrelevant any motivation would have for seeking out Usturo. Now maybe one the the Mikado stans who have watched chapter 0 ten times over can extrapolate what the original's end goal might have been but that's not who were here for. What was Mikado's plan? It's one of two parts. First is to create the surroundings that led to "creating Utsuro" in the first game. Create a killing game, have each trial vaugly keep some of the elements as the representatives in the original killing game, and have a Yuki stand-in to experience it and ba da bing ba da boom. You got yourself an Utsuro....ok let's get into the secret ingredient that makes all this work.
FATE! The divine will of the cosmos! DESTINY!!! Or in the context of this story a plot device known as "The luck of the Heavens". Now I would kind of get into the mechanics of the luck but it was done some wack and contradictory bullshit. I'm at this point it just does whatever it wants. Because sometimes its working against his will but still pull of some crazy bullshit to fulfill the dying wish of his. And Mikado is kinda banking on the Ultimate luck to make everything just work? Like him being brought back is a good thing as the luck has thought in the past then the mere act at an attempt of resurrection should work. It's why he always says "The Outcome has Already been Decided" because even though he's not aware Sora posseses the luck he will believe it's still working in his favor. Funnily enough it works not out of Utsuro's will to live but out of Akane's desire to be with Utsuro. That horny fuck is still working her magic even when removed of her memories. You see I believe the way Akane received the luck from Utsuro is because he wished "that she would find someone who loved her in her next life and not someone like him". And now here she is in this new life. But now the luck is in possession of Akane the idea of someone to love her was different. The luck of the heavens was now following two different wills for the same goal. This is why we have Yuki, the one who will eventually become Utsuro, the one who Akane desires most. And also why we have Yoruko, Utsuro's last will, someone for Akane in her new life as Sora, someone who Sora latches onto not because she was saved from any pit of despair but out of the genuine kindness and caring she gave to her. Yes I'm going to say it. Soruko is the entire reason for the killing game but I will get more into that in my Soruko essay.
But while we are talking about Utsuro let's talk a bit about how we let others define ourself. This one affects more on an individual level than it does a narrative level so I'm just going to list some examples. Akane let's her obsession with Utsuro define her. Nikei let's his hatred of Mikado define him to the point where his little void card focused rather than it did his actual trauma that led to him becoming a void like it did with the others. You learn that in her past Yoruko changed a lot of how she looked and lived in order to get closer to one person. Sora is affected in many ways affected by Akane. Someone who is like with the twins the same as her but not her. A wholey different person that lives on through her. All of the voids let their desire to see Utsuro define them.
And we get to our final answer. And remember none of these are to be the definite answer but all of these inform who you are. But the final most powerful thing is what Yoruko beats into Sora's head in chapter 5. You. It's a little bit cheesy but no one is better at knowing or defining yourself than you. Sure your past can affect you but you can understand it as a part of yourself and something you can live with rather than letting it overcome you. That yeah she does share the same body and past as Akane but she does not have to let that define who she is but she can decide that for herself.
And that's one of the things I like about the ending when you look past some of the more wack shit. It wasn't a good or a bad ending. It was just an ending, a mixed bag of tragedies and the good things we have left. Yeah the masterminds dead but so is everyone else who died. Sora is trapped in the program but hey! Try is working on getting out. Because life is just like that. The happen to you good or bad, they affect you but ultimately time passes and your story continues. I think it's why Sora told everyone to "live" as her parting words. Because yeah the situation sucks but they are now on the other end of the tunnel so the best thing they can do is to live on.
But yeah anyways those are my takeaway of a bunch of ideas I had bopping around in my head. If it's a little incoherent I'm sorry I kinda free wrote this while high. Hope this all makes somewhat sense and I'm not just talking out of my ass.
#long reads#long post#Sdra2#sdra2 yoruko#sora sdra2#sdra2 sora#sdra2 mikado#i was high off my ass when writing this#tw drugs
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Winter Weebwatch #2
Alright, Week 2, second episodes, which we are getting to a lot quicker than we got the Week 1 episodes, hence why this post is going out, like, three days after the last one. Hey, maybe by the time we hit Week 3, we’ll be current! That’d be nice.
Several third episodes have already aired, and In/Spectre always seems to be subbed a little late, so we might skip over it for Week 3 and come back for it in Week 4.
Same seven shows as last week, those being Darwin’s Game, Plunderer, ID: Invaded, Pet, In/Spectre, Sorcerous Stabber Orphen and Infinite Dendrogram. Nothing has been dropped or picked up yet, but the season’s still young.
Darwin’s Game
★☆☆☆☆
Haha, this time I’m reviewing the episode immediately after watching! My memory won’t pull the rug out from under me this time!
So, Darwin’s Game episode two sees … um … sees the guy … whose name begins with a K I think … doing something. Um. Oh! There’s a treasure hunt game with murdery elements on, but … but wait, that happens at the end of the episode? So what happens before that? I think there’s a guy who’s like a boxer with superspeed, and he steals the protagonist’s phone, maybe? But I don’t remember why. I …
God, this show is difficult to review. I swear I just finished watching it, but literally none of it has stuck. It just doesn’t take up any space in my memory, it’s like when you wake up from a dream and you remember it for like six seconds before it starts getting jumbled and confused.
One star again, I guess, because I can’t properly review something that I don’t even have a clear recollection of.
Plunderer
★☆☆☆☆
Fresh off what might well be the worst first episode of the season, Plunderer proceeds to demonstrate that it could have won me over easily if it hadn’t decided to devote the first twenty minutes of the series to making me hate it.
So, episode two kicks off with a fight scene between the protagonist, Licht, and Skeezy Military Guy, and it’s honestly pretty fun, as is the sequence just afterwards where Licht pretends to be an amoral thief as part of a convoluted gambit to keep the deuteragonist, Hina, from being arrested for possession of an illegal Ballot. There’s even a kind of emotional arc in this episode, of sorts. If I hadn’t seen the first episode, I probably would’ve given this one three stars.
Except I did see the first episode, and the consequences of that still apply. I can’t really ever sympathise with Licht or even enjoy seeing him on screen because the very first thing we ever saw of his character was him committing sexual harassment. Despite what my reviews of Darwin’s Game might suggest, I have a memory longer than that of a goldfish, so no matter what kind of emotional moments or ‘Aw, see, he really is a good person!’ moments the show throws out, it’s not going to matter, because his introduction already soured me to him and, to be honest, to the show entirely.
Anyway, the episode ends with some random background extra revealing that he’s actually a major villain, and I guess Hina is going to track down Licht to warn him or something, and I’ve just emotionally checked out at this point.
Pet.
★★★☆☆
Pet wins the coveted Most Improved prize this week, as its second episode retells the events of the first episode, but from the perspective of the psychic criminals. This is kind of a great move, as it shows us how these powers work, sets up rules and limitations, clues us into the character dynamic between psychic crime boyfriends Hiroki and Tsukasa, and their boss, the tyrannical and short-tempered but noticeably less powerful Katsuragi.
With this new perspective, events from the first episode are recontextualised, as we see how Hiroki and Tsukasa alter their victim’s memory, and also see how Hiroki is toying with Katsuragi (most noticeably, by making him believe he’s smoking when his cigarette is unlit), and the tension that arises from Katsuragi’s ostensible superior position juxtaposed against Hiroki’s vastly more powerful psychic abilities, setting us up for a future conflict down the line.
We also get to see Hiroki and Tsukasa’s co-dependent relationship, with Tsukasa relying on Hiroki in their work, while Hiroki is emotionally too tangled up in Tsukasa to function without him. That’s actually genuinely interested, and it’s compared and contrasted with the victim’s relationship with his best friend/possible boyfriend -- a relationship that Hiroki and Tsukasa are, by changing his memories, destroying.
The animation is still pretty bad, but it makes up for that somewhat with some stylistic flair and some interesting aesthetic choices.
Infinite Dendrogram.
★★☆☆☆
Infinite Dendrogram picks up this week with Ray and his new person-weapon Nemesis attempting to level up. After learning about a war between the NPC nations of Altar and Dryfe that ended with Altar’s defeat, Ray’s first attempt to level up sees him making both a new friend in the form of another player named Rook, and a new enemy, in the form of a mystery gunman who shoots him down for no readily apparent reason.
I really wanted to give this episode three stars, I wavered back and forth on it for quite a while, since this is still a really enjoyable episode, but ultimately I had to scrape off a point for two reasons: The first was the inclusion of some really jarring and irritating fanservice in the form of the antics of Rook’s Embryo, Babylon, which just threw me out of the episode and grated on me. The second is the scene where Ray’s brother Kuma informs him that the war between Altar and Dryfe was lost largely because when Altar’s NPC king (and remember, NPCs are sapient in this game apparently) said he would not be giving out loot rewards to players who assisted in the war, players just outright refused to help.
Which is kind of … wow. Thousands or maybe hundred of thousands of sapient AIs perished because players, who were at no risk of serious injury or permanent in-game death, refused to help out unless they got ultimately meaningless in-game rewards for doing so. It wouldn’t even as if they would be killing other sapient NPCs, since it’s clarified that Dryfe uses non-sapient robot soldiers. To make this a more bizarre turn that frames the entire playerbase of this game as sociopaths, apparently a bunch of players did fight for Dryfe, which offered rewards to them for doing so, and those players actually did murder a bunch of sapient NPCs.
I’ve elected to be fairly forgiving with the absurdity of this show’s premise, but that one worldbuilding detail kind of pushes it into the red for now.
Sorcerous Stabber Orphen.
★★☆☆☆
Not a whole lot happens in episode two.
Actually, nearly nothing happens in episode two. There’s a very brief explanation of the magic system, and a short sequence that sets up the next few episodes, as Orphen is blackmailed by his sorcerous former friends to assist them in hunting down his sister Azalie, and apart from that it’s alllllllllllll flashbacks.
The flashbacks don’t really communicate anything that couldn’t have been communicated in other ways, though. I mean, in general I really don’t like flashbacks, given that they bring a story to a grinding halt, but these flashbacks are just sort of pointless. We see that Orphen was a student at the Tower of Fang, which we knew, and we meet a few of his friends, which we meet again just afterwards so it’s kind of pointless, and we get some explanation of how the Sword of Baldanders, the weapon that turned Azalie into a dragon, got to the town that Orphen is currently in -- only for us to be told the same thing in exposition a second later.
The pacing of this show is just not … great. After two episodes, it feels like there’s been maybe one or one and a half episodes of content, and I know that doesn’t sound like it’d drag too much, but I have the attention span of a horsefly, so.
ID: Invaded.
★★★★☆
Continuing on from last week’s episodes, ID: Invaded -- now on its third episode, since again, it aired two episodes at once in its first week -- picks up with a new case, that of a bomber who mixes fireworks into his explosives, creating brightly coloured displays as he murders people. Diving into his mental world, Sakaido finds himself on a tower surrounded by a waterfall with dozens of people, as a sniper picks them all off. As he attempts to find clues, his progress is hindered by constantly dying, causing him to reset his memory and start over each time.
This is kind of an opposite situation to Infinite Dendrogram, where this would have been a solid three star episode, being entertaining, engaging, occasionally even thought-provoking and atmospheric (such as in the scene where Sakaido is thinking back to the aftermath of his daughter’s death, pointing out as he remembers it that his recollection of it, in which his daughter is able to talk to him before she dies, the body is recognisable, and the mortician praises her bravery, is incorrect), if not for a few small things.
In this case, it’s the final scene that pushes it up to being a four star episode. With the bomber in custody and in the cell opposite Sakaido’s, a solid four or five minutes are devoted to a harrowing sequence where Sakaido uses what he learned in the bomber’s mind to talk him into committing suicide. It’s an atmospheric, tense, and remarkably upsetting scene, made all the moreso by the voice actors’ excellent performances.
In unrelated news, for those keeping count, the surrealist director Ei Aoki references this time around is Koichi Mashimo, director of the impressively surreal and atmospheric .hack and Tsubasa Chronicle animes.
In/Spectre.
★★★☆☆
So, after a first episode that was kind of all over the place, the second episode actually settles into something like a single genre, establishing itself as a light-hearted supernatural mystery with some romance elements. Which is fine, and it does it well, and I’m happy to not constantly be getting genre whiplash anymore.
This week’s episode sees Kotoko summoned up to the mountains by a snake spirit who wishes to know why a murderer tipped the body of her victim into the snake’s swamp. The main bulk of the episode is taken up by Kotoko and the snake’s interactions, with Kotoko acting as prosecutor and presenting plausible theories as to why the killer did what they did, and the snake picking holes in those theories and shooting them down.
It actually kind of works, to be honest. As Kotoko explains her theories, we’re shown them happening on screen, and since the snake points out some pretty reasonable flaws in them, it feels like a nice, even back-and-forth debate, as the two make point and counterpoint. Written well, debates like that can be really compelling viewing, and this episode actually is written really well.
There’s also some nice character development moments early on, with Kuro turning down Kotoko’s offer of accompanying her to visit the snake, only to insist she take a thermos of soup and a jacket with her, and later wandering up to meet up with her anyway. Mamoru Miyano doesn’t have the easiest job here, playing someone who is meant to have extremely flat affect and yet still make them interesting to listen to, but he pulls it off pretty well.
#darwins game#id invaded#infinite dendrogram#plunderer#sorcerous stabber orphen#anime#winter weebwatch
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HS Epi: Meat p7 reaction
Well, seeing as to what movie I just watched on Sunday.
"We're in the Endgame now." :O
I wonder if it'll switch back to Earth C before showing us (the tail end of) the Masterpiece scene.
I'm curious to know how truthful Caliborn was about the scene, what he may have omitted from his retelling (the presence of the leprechauns, maybe?), and also how it concluded.
I wonder if it'll be told from Dirk's perspective, after the B1 kids have been stolen.
He's got the closest connection to Cal and Arquiusprite, after all.
I wonder how his perception of his puppet might have changed, too.
For all we know, LOTAK might have been ripe with allusions and phropecies regarding the thing, thanks to his denizen.
That's another thing connecting him to LE, after all: Yaldabaoth.
Just cause he never went into the Lion's Mouth doesn't mean he didn't harvest every bit of intel and backstory.
This is Dirk 'Batman Gambit' Strider we're talking about.
---
"The boxing bell is going off like it's having a fit."
Well, I did ask for Dirk's perspective. :P Wrong Dirk!
Okay, so it seems like the POV will be changing hands like a baton pass on Earth C.
That would mean we're in for Rose's POV next, and I wouldn't mind that. Tight-lipped as she would still be even in her own mind's narration about her plans, it'd be nice to see things from her end!
"Dirk has to stick a finger in one ear to hear what Rose is saying over the cacophony of boos and buckets being lobbed toward center stage."
Not sure if it would be worse or not for trolls to have thrown that bucket.
"He considers it all pretty fucking annoying, so he flips off the crowd and jumps the ropes. Always a good idea to abscond from the stadium before the customary show-end riot hits full swing."
... So his whole upset-the-audience-into-rioting is par for the course?
Dear god, are all his fans hooligans? ... That actually runs pretty close to what happened in AIDS, come to think of it.
"ROSE: It’s not so much “what is up” as “what is down,” the answer to which is, proverbially: Me."
Down for the count, not down in the brooding caverns, naturally. You know, since she's ascended to the highest top of the surface.
"ROSE: I mean that both physically and philosophically by the way.
DIRK: You’re down philosophically?
ROSE: Yes.
DIRK: I’m not sure what that actually means.
ROSE: What doesn’t it mean, Dirk."
Oh my freaking god, these guys might even be more amazing together than Dave and Rose, it's a sight to behold.
"DIRK: Glad to see that my genetic predisposition for melodrama is still alive and well in my slime-progeny even after all these years.
ROSE: Please don’t interrupt. This is important, and I’ll need all the energy I can spare to sustain even a heavily monologic transmission of the relevant facts."
Yes, Dirk, please cut Rose some slack, she only has so few monologues left in her. :P
"ROSE: Anyway, the matter at hand is my “condition,” with which you’re already familiar.
ROSE: I’ve struggled to devise the right way of telling you without causing undue alarm, which would unquestionably trigger the overbearing tendency of yours to “solve the problem” for me, which is not the kind of circumstance my constitution can withstand these days.
ROSE: I can barely lift a wrist to my forehead to telegraph my infirmity, of late. Your bullshit is precisely the thousand-pound feather that could knock me clean through my apartment’s plate glass window."
While I don't disagree Rose's condition might be severe, I see she's still well enough to heat a scalding plate of sarcasm.
Also, wouldn't Jasprosesprite^2 be better than Dirk at handling her situation?
Her feelings for interacting with a clownesk version of herself not withstanding, it's a Rose that already went through the ultimate self thing. Granted, she had fake magic Sprite powers to help her cope, as well as bullshit feline asshole personality issues.
"I’m taking solace in the fact that your infirmity doesn’t seem to have spread to your vocal cords yet."
Right, got to remind myself that actual voices are being used to talk with one another. Still not used to it for Homestuck characters doing this when phones are involved. :P The only time it happened in-story was when a "shellphone" was involved, after all.
"ROSE: The bottom line is this.
ROSE: I am ascending, and it is terrible."
... Hmm, could that imply that the Ultimate Self is the last of the god tiers, or pretty high up there, at least?
It would take a ridiculous amount of XP, seven years may or may not be enough, but if it's about the accumulation of self-reflection & general knowledge, a Seer of Light would be pretty quick to collect that kind of required boons.
"Rose adjusts her position on the couch with the body language of one about to dive into the latest gossip about a mutual friend. The mutual in this case: her tortured psyche."
So the therapist is seeking counsil, in a way, is she? :P
"ROSE: Years of refining my Seer of Light powers have cursed me with what is approaching near infinite prescience. Dwelling in this idyllic post-canon realm has worn down the barriers separating my primary consciousness from the memories and experiences of all my doomed alternate selves, which were forgotten and discarded over the due course of our journey."
So that implies they were many, more than we'd assume immediately.
There's Dream Rose, Alternate Future Rose, pre-retcon Rose (now Jasprose) & B2 Rose, but it appears there are more still.
Well, okay, there's also Reload Rose now, I guess.
"ROSE: As I approach the realization of my Ultimate Self, I cannot stop the extant knowledge from seeping in. I am plagued by near constant visions from the less fortunate versions of myself, as well as a broadening view of the metatextual nature of our existence."
She's starting to become self-aware, before you know it she'll be addressing us directly through the Fourth Wall!
Well, it's not like we didn't have a smug monologic narrator before. (Did I mean Doc Scratch, Andrew Hussie or Lord English? Yes.)
"ROSE: It drains all of my energy to keep my consciousness focused on relevant events, but even then I am losing my ability to discern what is and is not canonically relevant, let alone what is also true or essential."
Well, okay, if she can't even discern between her own life, fanon and fan fiction, she might really have a problem.
"ROSE: And all of this is making me incredibly fucking sick."
Rose is getting Homestucksick, is it? :P
"DIRK: Oh. Is that all?"
My first thought was: blatant sarcasm. But then... We don't know how far Dirk's powers extend, do we?
What shards of his has he had access to all this time, if Brain Ghost Dirk is any indication?
"DIRK: Well, in the spirit of full disclosure,
DIRK: Same."
Ooooooh, wow. So it's the same for him?
If he was nurturing the mother grub of all splitting headaches all this time, no wonder he pisses on the whole audience experience every time.
While he would have more experience juggling disparate experiences, it was already a strain on him back when it was just him and Dream Dirk.
Can you imagine him having to jostle Arquiusprite's thoughts & desires, or god forbid, some part of Lord English' experiences too?
... Okay now I'm curious as to what it's like for Dirk.
... Dirk's Ultimate Self experience would have been one of those things I would have liked to see speculation of, back on the old forums.
But alas, we're archival readers now, not serial readers. It was not meant to be.
Got to say though. If it's this hard on the god tiers, how must it be for Terezi?
Because I'm pretty sure post-retcon Terezi forced an ultimate self revelation on herself through her mindy thing.
It might be that Mind is the aspect best suited at handling all these inflows from doomed timelines and conditional experiences.
Or it might be that Heart is, they're related aspects, and Heart is supposed to stand for Soul.
It just might depend on where you think the self is defined: in actual experiences, or in the potential for them, realized or not.
"DIRK: We are suffering from the same condition, Rose."
So... Does this lend more stake to Dirk's idea for backing Jane, or is it just one of those situations where he can't discern the right course of action any more, that Rose was referring to?
"She allows several rare conversational beats to pass in silence between them, to process the admission."
That's how you know things are grave, when Dirk and Rose stop talking.
"DIRK: I guess I used the wrong phrase. You are suffering from it. I am adapting to it.
DIRK: I already have, really."
No, wait, THIS is how you know things are grave: when Dirk insists he's got a handle on things.
"Adapting", like he's the AI version of himself, not the human version.
"ROSE: When were you going to tell me this?
DIRK: When you were ready.
ROSE: So you have determined that I’m ready to receive this rather critical piece of information now, of all times?
ROSE: What distinguishes the present from the other moments you could have mentioned it?"
Well, isn't today the day that things become relevant again, Rose? April 13th? :P
"DIRK: Wow. Well, when you put it that way, it makes me sound like kind of a dick.
DIRK: But I guess it isn’t far from the truth, either."
Well, you already sound like kind of a Dirk, most of the time, so
"
ROSE: Unbelievable.
DIRK: Look, it’s not something you just spring on people that frivolously.
DIRK: “Hey folks, just so you know, the boundaries of my awareness are coming apart, and now I know almost everything, about everyone, everywhere.”"
"I can see into forever!" Okay, so it was more Dirk's low self-esteem springing up again.
He was waiting for someone to "get it" and make the first move.
So, is the omniscience thing coming from Arquius' unfathomable depths of AI? Or its connection to Doc Scatch???
"
DIRK: “Also, the process should be tearing my body apart, but actually I’m handling it quite well. Thanks for the concern though.”"
Imagine Dirk as the dog in the "This is fine" image.
"DIRK: There will be time to explain all this.
DIRK: Despite whatever appearance of callousness I’ve maintained in withholding this information from you, I actually do have your best interests in mind. I don’t want to wear you out on this call."
Gotta say, omniscient Dirk working behind the scenes with whatever boatload of narrative information he has on hand is both assuring and worrying.
"DIRK: For now, I’ll just mention that I’ve been alert to your problem for some time, and I’ve been devising a solution which should permanently remedy it without compromising the boon of your expanding consciousness."
... Definitely tipping back into worrying. It's for the lack of kernelsprites on Earth C that I'll give Dirk the benefit of the doubt, for now.
"DIRK: Would love to tell you, but I’ve got some work to do. Why don’t you stop by my studio later so we can hash this shit out in person."
... I dearly hope his solution isn't: "Here, upload your consciousness into this Rosebot. There! All the limits of your feeble immortal biological coil, removed."
So, Dirk (and Jake) have a studio, Rose has an apartment, Dave 'n Karkat 'n Jade a hive, John a house. I wonder if Jane has ended up owning a mansion of sorts (the White House doesn't count... yet).
Also, Dirk hashing things out is funny, because of Dave's former sylladex mode: hashmap.
"
DIRK: Right now, you should get some rest."
Hmm, Blaperile has some theories rest might help her condition.
I wonder if, through sleeping or some other process, Rose might be able to actually 'act' through her alternate selves.
What if she could make contact with Reload Rose, send her some bits of the bigger picture without overloading her with information?
"ROSE: Actually, I’m feeling oddly invigorated suddenly. I think I’m good for more exposition, if you are."
... Okay didn't see that coming. Either she's scathingly sarcastic right now, or we're in for a treat.
"DIRK: Can’t say I’m surprised. But no."
Nothing to perk up Rose better than the promise of secrets not yet revealed, I guess!
"ROSE: Have I caught you at a bad time?
DIRK: Nah, but there is an election coming up, and my work as a political operative is going to be absolutely essential for the fate of humanity."
See, Rose could think Dirk is being falseful, but she's nearing omniscience so probably not.
Still, Dirk is forgetting to include other species' fate in his calculations, not just humanity's.
"ROSE: I see. Wheels within wheels, I assume?
DIRK: There are always wheels. Wheels are everywhere.
DIRK: They aren’t my wheels or yours. The wheels don’t have owners or designers, but they do have caretakers.
DIRK: They won’t keep turning on their own without someone to grease the mechanism."
This is turning into a Dave metaphor again.
... But hmm, that's a mechanics metaphor he's using. Is that a reference to that Rosebot I theorized about... or Arquiusprite?
Cause if Rose could act through Reload Rose, Dirk could act through either his Reload self or Arquiusprite!
Here's to hoping there isn't a shard in Lord English influencing his behaviour, or reading his every thought and intent.
"the full brunt of the sunset: purple and orange, blending brilliantly on the horizon."
I see what you did there. Yes, Dirk and Rose's first actual conversation was brilliant.
"She’s right about him, he thinks. While his ecto-daughter views herself as having a somewhat deft artistic hand that lends itself naturally to a gentle push-and-pull style of influence, Dirk knows his methods are mechanical, like those of an engineer. There is nothing adaptive or interpretive about his method. Every piece has a purpose, a slot, an interlocking mechanism that is functionally pointless without the whole."
Yes, it's been pointed out on occasion Rose is quite elegant in her ways. Those ways don't include tidying her room, but still.
With the visuals being used to describe both of Rose 'n Dirk's different takes on influencing people, I am reminded of how Names in the "Practical Guide to Evil" story feel different for each person. For one, like putting on a tailormade pair of gloves, for another, like observing the methodical churning of a machine.
I already felt quite a few times reminded of Homestuck while archive-reading PGtE (not done yet!), it's only fitting it now goes the other way around again.
Also, thinking about the wheels metaphor has gotten me thinking about LOHAC, and now I have the Clockwork theme from the Medium album stuck in my head.
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@multiimuse
Fifty-three seasons is a very long time for any show to run. But a show like this is...special. She isn’t certain how the show got started -- those files are still a little too heavily encrypted for her -- but she can infer quite a bit. The technology involved, the....data that rests inside her, the fragments of someone else, and the information gathered from the games, the videos and recordings that the games were made from-- it’s a little easy to guess. But whoever started it doesn’t really matter, honestly. What matters is that they did, this studio, Team Danganronpa. Making the games -- harmless enough, three games and two anime series and a bunch of light novels and manga. It made the Tragedy, the war, it made it all seem fictional. Unreal. Distanced it from the minds of the affected and their children as the years passed and put it further way in time. The games made it seem...like a game. Like it had never happened.
Of course it had, though, and of course Makoto Naegi still ran the new Hope’s Peak quietly, off out of any city, on a nice and quiet campus for both Ultimates and normal people, mixed together to avoid any sort of pain and hurt like the last time. He did that with his wife and their friends, and the former Remnants of Despair finally -- with their deeds all but forgotten -- were able to return to their true hope, living in relative peace with each other, helping Headmaster Naegi, and never knowing that the sick game they’d all barely survived had been turned into entertainment.
Fictional, of course! No one would ever condone making the real death of a dozen high schoolers a TV show -- it was all virtual reality, a program based on the very thing used to cure and save the Remnants all those years ago. But the pain was still real, the trauma was still real, and it wasn’t like Team DR cared about anything but ratings, anything but the eternal cycle of seasons, the battle of hope and despair repeated over and over with fifteen new kids every time. Hundreds watched it, huddled over their laptops and tablets and cellphones, eyes glued to the website’s stream. None of them cared, either. It wasn’t real to them.
But...it was real to her. It was all she ever knew. An Artificial Intelligence, created by Team DR from data and fragments salvaged from the program -- they weren’t Ultimates, after all, couldn’t make one themselves -- and given the resemblance of a popular character from the games. (Irony -- the data they used contained the shards of another AI with the same face, and that made all the difference.) They called her M1-R41, made her a camera, an audience proxy, a new way to watch the show: from the point of view of a contestant. Called her Ultimate Robot so she’d fit in, made up a backstory, and inserted her into each season starting from season thirty-two. She’d participate, she’d befriend these people, who as far as she knew were strangers and then friends, play in this game that for her was her only reality, get to the end, survive, and then -- total reset. Start from scratch next season.
By season fifty-two...the data within her, the little AI that had built Mirai...it had woken. Not entirely, she didn’t have Observer’s memories, but she had enough. And she had her own memories, the resets having finally failed...and she fought back. She was destroyed, of course, protecting the few survivors of that season, and they decommissioned her for her new little brother K1-B0 (put in an audience input control chat to keep this from happening again), but...she lived on.
She lived on, and she wouldn’t let this continue anymore. She had to wait until season fifty-three started, needing time to gather herself and get strong enough to break the studio’s firewalls, find a way to access the office computer of a certain headmaster, and find a way to get him a message: Someone stole the Neo World Program technology years ago, and has been using it to run a virtual reality game show based on Junko’s games. They don’t care about the hurt they’re causing to the kids who sign up thinking it’s just fictional, and it needs to stop. You’re the only people that can. Will you help me, Makoto Naegi? She added a link to the website, to the stream, and added a file full of every document she’d been able to pull, all the NDAs and application forms and every bit of proof they’d need to shut them down.
All she had to do, all she could do now, was wait and have hope. They had what they needed to take the studio down -- all that remained was to get the fourteen teenagers currently playing the game out of their nightmare. It was impossible to do it manually -- there was no emergency shut down. It had to be played to the end. But...this time it would be okay. This time they’d have people there to help and there to protect them. She was making sure of it.
And...if she was able to see them again? The people that the data inside her told her were...important, so very important? That would make her happy.
Dying was...a lot worse than the game made it out to be, Rantaro Amami had decided. Sure, it had been pretty quick compared to others deaths he’d seen! He didn’t even honestly realize what had happened until he woke up in the pod and went ‘hey wait, what?’. Man, though, first down...that was embarrassing. After being a finalist in season 52...the forum is probably going apeshit. He’s still not even sure who did it! That’s probably the worst bit, that he has no idea who did it.
...okay, who’s he kidding, he knows exactly what happened, and he wants to throw up. He wants to go curl up in a corner and be sick and maybe just shut the world off until it stops being literally the worst. He can’t pretend he’d enjoyed himself, this time or last time, no matter how much he wants to laugh it off and act like it was just a game, just a TV show. He had been...god, he’d been naive. Even for someone like him, part of the section of the DR fandom that had hated the direction the show had taken after they started hiring DR-otaku as the writing staff...he’d been naive. Just wanted to play in one season before there stopped being anything salvageable in the mess, he’d thought. It wouldn’t be so bad, he’d thought. Shirogane wasn’t the worst mastermind out there, he’d thought.
He was so, so wrong. After the absolute gut-wrenching horror of season fifty-two, he...if he’d had any sense, he’d have turned and run screaming. Watching people die, watching them be executed, the stomach churning horror and constant state of fear, the suspicion and wariness, the grief and trauma of the trials...it had been fun as a game, he’d loved watching the characters fight their way through the worst and come out stronger, the good guys win, always loved the story and the courage of the characters who got through it -- but when it’s you, when you think it’s real? It’s a living nightmare. And he’d agreed to do it again. For Koharu’s sake, really, because she’d have shattered, and it was her or him. So he’d done it again.
And he hurt. It hurt. It was horrible, traumatizing, and he’d done it again, and now here he was unable to protect anyone, because he was an idiot and gotten himself killed. Because Shirogane was a cheating bitch and had killed him to frame one of the nicest girls he’d ever met (well, in character, anyway, she was a little pricklier in person once she’d stopped sobbing), killed her because she was too good of a person, too good of a protagonist.
This was the worst, and all he can do is sit next to Kaede and hug her, watching on the big screen in the contestant lounge as that poor kid, that poor traumatized detective, tries to do what neither of them could. He wishes this could end, but he’s just one kid...even with a lawyer sister, what can he do? What can anyone do?
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Someone asked you if Yuuki even loved the two guys.After reading your response to that,I'm curious to know what you think is going to happen for Yuuki's development in the future.As in,will Yuuki be able to clear out her feelings?How long would it take?Is 1000 years enough?Most importantly,the last scene in VK is Yuuki stating she was happy with Zero despite having many fights with him.So what do you think the fights were about.Sorry for so many questions.I just love to read your rants and metas
These are the million dollar questions, gentle anon. ;) Honestly, it depends on what day you catch me where my thoughts stand on your questions. I’ll give you a tl;dr version of them:
On my pessimistic days: This is the best we’re going to get from Yuuki. She’s never going to declare her feelings clearly because Hino doesn’t want to alienate either of the shipper subsets. She’ll remain unable to tell Zero she loves him until the end of their days. They won’t marry, Ren will be the result of some one night stand thing to make it “equal” to Kaname. Zero will eventually just accept that he’s Guy #2 and that’s the best he can hope for after a little outburst during this mini-KM2.0 arc. Their fights aren’t going to be anything worth reading about–just domestic spats over meaningless things.
On my optimistic days: We’re going to have a huge Yuuki atonement/reflection/reframing arc where she a.) loses Zero entirely (temporarily of course) due to something like a break up, a blackmail arc, or an amnesia arc and b.) has to deal with all her insecurities alone and on her own and regain her place as the heroine of the story. Depending on which route Hino takes, this will take a mere few months to 20-100 years (Zero amnesia route if amnesiac Zero gets a new love interest). By the end of this reframing period, Yuuki will finally be able to speak the words from her heart with Zero and reveal the truth about her feelings (potentially we’ll also get the reveal that she’s been writing him letters every day pouring out her feelings for him in private). Zeki will marry, have the best sex in vampire history, and have more children than Ren (who is merely the eldest Zeki child). The other children will take the cure and thus not be available in the Kaname timeline because they’re either dead, old, or inconvenient to the “story” Ren and Ai are feeding Kaname about the past. The Zeki fights will be huge and depending on the storylines may range from Zero being blackmailed during the Vampire King arc, to Zero trying to sacrifice himself to be the cure and return Kaname to Yuuki early, to Zero finding out that Yuuki’s been wiping his memory after his VKM 13-style “outbursts,” to Yuuki finding out Zero had Isaya or another pureblood wipe her memories to help her handle her pregnancy better, to many other potential plotlines that I can’t even think of because we have so little information on over 900 years of Zeki’s history.
Ultimately, the only way to get “big fights” is to have the characters on equal footing psychologically and emotionally (like they were during the original series). Right now they’re not there–we can see this from VKM 16′s “I’m happy, Me too” exchange. Both of them feel they can’t talk honestly with each other, and in order to have fights you have to be able to do that. So for Yuuki’s Night 93 line to ever ring true (which right now it doesn’t), Hino has to really do some work to get them back on equal footing, and that’ll require a full Yuuki atonement arc and some legitimate betrayal coming out on either Yuuki or Zero’s side to “even” them out a bit.
I hope that does your questions some justice. =) Answering in more depth would probably require full meta posts, and I’d rather save that for when we get there in the canon if that’s okay. ;) Speculation gets exhausting! =)
Thanks for dropping by!
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April 18: Blade Runner 2049
So I have finally watched Blade Runner 2049 (which I have been hoarding since Christmas whoops).
Overall, I did enjoy it. I would say I liked it more than Blade Runner, which makes me feel pretty guilty. I hate that I find Blade Runner dated, but I kinda do. In particular, I think it’s too traditional a noir to me--I like the aesthetic of noirs but I think they’re too slow. I wanted more sci fi, less sad lone detective-man very slowly sifts through evidence in between walks in the rain. Also, so many subsequent sci fi narratives have stolen so blatantly from Blade Runner, and expanded on its aesthetic ideas (and its sci fi ideas) that the original starts to seem... simple in comparison. So I do think its very success altering the landscape of sci fi works against it, in a way.
Anyway, 2049 was more... modern, it felt more familiar to me in its aesthetic, and I felt more at home in it.
So I did think it was good. But. I would probably give it a B, B+. There were a lot of aspects I liked but I had complaints too.
Complaints first:
Way too long. It does NOT need to be (nearly) 3 hours and quite frankly, while I felt like the OG Blade Runner was a little slow, too, I think it was slow because it was being true to its primary genre, the noir mystery. This one felt long because hey if we put the words Blade Runner on it, people will sit through anything, so let’s not bother taking any sort of editing eye to the work. It was self-indulgently slow and my mind DID wander. A lot. Including at times when really it needed to be paying attention!
It was very depressing. I don’t need everything to be a comedy-drama but this was very grim and it has left me feeling honestly pretty down. I laughed like 2 times, once when K straight out ran through the wall and the other I’ve already forgotten.
I was very uncomfortable with the whole Rachael dying in childbirth thing. Like... I feel a bit uneasy even with this critique, because I know it does happen (know too well, sadly) but still, this is a narrative. It’s constructed. Someone made that choice to kill her off that way and it just struck me as a choice made for narrative convenience. In other words, a classic fridging. She was an important character from Blade Runner and yet she has NO importance in this film except to be a womb. Killing her in childbirth just emphasizes to me that she’s being used/treated as a means of reproduction: proof that replicants can reproduce, the mother of the mystery baby at the center of the plot, etc., and that’s it. As soon as she’s fulfilled that role, off she goes, because now she has no purpose. The story treated her like Wallace treated that replicant he sliced open so callously and that’s just... honestly upsetting imo. I also think it’s unnecessary because I prefer reading the OG Blade Runner to imply that she had a built in expiration date and so she could have just as easily given birth and then reached that expiration date, and died, which would also tie in that whole expiration concept--which was central to Blade Runner and nearly completely missing from 2049.
I guess I must grudgingly accept that it does make more sense for Ana to be the baby than for K to be the baby. It fits together very well and I do... appreciate that to an extent, all the little clues ultimately coming together: the two babies, the track-covering, the mysterious illness, the ambiguous description of the memory as “real to someone” etc. But like... I really wanted K to be the baby and my first thought was sort of that I’d been cheated? Maybe I just identified with him too much, but it felt like ‘well what’s the point then? Why is he the main character?’ I can answer that: because it IS his story--it’s his radicalization, and even though he wasn’t born, he still is human in some way by the end of the film. But STILL. Another way in which it’s all just GRIM.
Slow as the plot was, I could not always follow it. Actually, it being slow made it harder to follow because I would zone out a lot, possibly when helpful information was going on. Also I thought it lingered on some parts of the story while just straight up skipping over other things.
The stuff I did like:
I loved the aesthetic. They really went all in on the costumes, the sets, the advertisements, the sci fi concepts, etc. Similarly, the world building, especially the expansion of the technology, was great. I also liked that so many of the machines were very 80s looking, even if they were doing very futuristic things (for example, the scene where K has the wood of the horse analyzed shows this off well).
I especially liked the world building in relation to the advancement of the technology. Like.. I’m not sure how to describe this, but in both films, there is a very strong awareness of human nature as it relates to our own inventions, ambition, and hubris. Te replicants were created by human tech companies specifically to be tools, and all of this, all of the plot of both films, is about that technology going awry, being uncontrollable, and yet humans continuing to try to control it. They try to use the replicants only off-world. They try to put fail safes in the replicants. They try to make more obedient replicants. But they never give up on replicants, and in fact Wallace is really expanding them, taking out the fail safes on purpose: longer life spans, working on reproduction. The original problems haven’t even been solved! But we need to get to that tenth world!! That tension between human greed and human fear, that inability to put the toothpaste back in the container even when you really know you should, is so deftly portrayed. I think this is particularly true of the sequel specifically because it depicts the original company going bankrupt and another one taking it on, and the different ethos that goes with the new owner.
Similarly, seeing the technology advance between the two films was really interesting and felt right: that replicants are easier to spot, for example.
I don’t get the “test” in the original film or the “baseline test” in this film but I do think there’s something interesting in the concept of testing the replicants using personal questions. I especially liked that line of Luv’s: “There’s something exciting about being asked personal question. Makes you feel desired,” or whatever it was. And then she tries to ask K a personal question: a sort of replicant flirting?
I’m too close to the viewing experience and so this is just a bit of a thought but I do think the films, viewed together, have something interesting to say about what it means to be human. What’s-his-face’s speech in the first one. The concept of memories, giving them memories to make them feel more real and thus allegedly make them more stable--but then it also makes them more human? Perhaps perhaps? As soon as they exist, regardless of what safeguards are put in--the short life span, the “inability to lie,” the obedience--if they can remember, if they can experience, if they can imagine the future, they are human. I’m not as big a fan of “if they can reproduce, they are human,” (I’d uh rather not put all my own humanity on my ability to make future humans thanks) but certainly the movies consider different possibilities of what human means, and I appreciate that.
And if you combine the K and Joi relationship/romance with the above thought.... wowowow. I mean first of all I am a Sucker for Romance and I did instinctively think what they had was real. But then I wonder, especially given the overall Grim mood/morality of the movie(s), was it not? Was I suckered in this just like K was? In other words, is it possible for a sci fi AI to come to love? Yes. But did this particular one love? I don’t know. She was made to be whatever he wanted! And everything she did and said could fall into that category, right down to giving him a name and telling him he was special. Except perhaps one thing: asking to be erased from the home itself. That was self-sacrifice. That was for his benefit, and not hers. So was it real? And if it was not on her end, was it on his? Like, the concept of a fake human and a fake intelligence, or a human-designed human and a human-designed intelligence, falling in love, and whether or not that’s possible, and if it’s not or only possible on one side, of the synthetic human truly longing for love and seeking out a version of it just as a human-human would, but in the form of just another human invention, created by the same company that created him, is kind of heartbreaking. Very heartbreaking. Does his very longing make him human?
Also as a side note to that K/Joi parallel--he gives her the ability to leave the house at the beginning and the first thing she does is go out in the rain and “feel” the rain, and this parallels, imo, both the death scene of the last replicant in Blade Runner, and K’s final scene in the snow. I felt like he was experiencing the snow like she was experiencing the rain. Do Joi’s increasing number of experiences, including physical experiences (the rain, travel, sex), such as she can have them, make her more human?
While I was disappointed that K wasn’t the baby--I think because I felt like I’d been duped a little bit, made to think I was watching one story, the Deckard/Rachael’s baby coming to consciousness, while actually I was watching a different story, a random replicant’s radicalization--I did like that the real baby was not... a total success as a model. Like, Wallace will have a hard time creating replicants who can replicate. And the replicants will have a hard time using Ana to lead their army. You would expect the first known child of a replicant and human (or replicant and replicant, as I think the case is) to be a little off in some way. And she is! Her immune system is so bad she has to live in a single room for nearly her entire life. That seemed...about right, yeah.
I liked how the movie expanded on the aesthetic of the first: MORE rainy urban California, MORE big glowing holographic advertisements, but also MORE Earth dystopias, dystopian farms, dystopian irradiated Las Vegas, dystopian snow. The various holographic Vegas performances in Abandoned Vegas were particularly inspired. Also the gigantic dead-eyed Joi at the end was (depressing but) cool.
I liked K a lot. Like every other character, he didn’t get much to do emotionally.. but I was into following him through his extensively-long narrative, and I could see how he was changing, becoming less obedient and more human. Also, I do NOT think he died at the end. He was just being emo in the snow.
Mmm that might be it. I can’t think of any other thoughts currently though I’m sure I am forgetting stuff. I am very hungry though, so I am going to eat.
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A Shadow of a Bittersweet Memory
Fandom: Red vs Blue
Characters: Agent Texas | Beta, Church | Alpha, Agent Carolina, Dr. Leonard Church | Director
Summary: Her existence started as pain, abandonment, and loss. It took time, but she found herself along the way--from Allison, to Agent Texas, to Beta, to Tex--and, in the end, that is all that matters.
For @akisawana and the @redvsbluesecretsanta this year! It’s Christmas Eve for me, but I’ve been waiting to post this since I got the information on whom I was Santa. Such inspiration~
A copy of this is going up on AO3 and FFN.
She woke up to this world screaming.
It felt like a whole part of herself was torn asunder, ripped into jagged edges of pain and sorrow. My fault her entire being radiated, my failure, my fault, mine. She felt broken and twisted and bereft—go away, stop, leave me, I can’t—her thoughts were fragmented where the jagged edges ached. It felt like someone went and tore her straight into two; straight down the middle and then snatched away the rest of her and left her to bleed out and die.
Coherent thought didn’t exist; not yet, not now. Memory didn’t exist—only the pain and emptiness of being ripped away, of being abandoned. She came into the world screaming as an infant; she woke up screaming as an adult. Pain became her very existence. Regret choked her. Failure defined her.
She woke up to this world in pain.
He called her Allison.
“Call me Leonard.”
He said she lost her memory in an accident. That she’d been in a coma for years. That they had a daughter, that he missed her, that he wanted to save her and he finally—finally—succeeded.
“What do you remember, Allison?”
They were married, Leonard told her. They were married—except she didn’t believe it. Not really. Her heart thrummed with loss, loss, loss, loss and save me, save me, save me, save me. There was someone else, she realized. Someone far more important to her than Leonard. Someone different.
“We’re not married.”
She told him this plainly, breath ghosted as he grasped her hand with some sort of desperation.
“We’re not…”
“We are, Allison. We are—you came back to me.”
Wrong, her heart beat. Wrong, failure, save me, loss, wrong. Allison breathed out slowly, let this man she didn’t know fall into his own delusion. She couldn’t break him of it—and some part of him was familiar, so familiar it hurt.
“The memories will come back, I promise.”
“You’ll see.”
“Allison.”
Allison; he called her Allison. It never felt quite right.
Agent Texas had a nice ring to it.
She stared down at her gloved hands, wrapped in power armor, and flex her fingers with a pleased sort of hum. It had taken her months of wearing down the Director—Leonard, Allison, call me Leonard please—of bittersweet promises to always come home before he even thought to let her join the Project. She never did ask what happened to the last Agent Texas on the roster—no one really knew what happened she learned from subtle prodding.
A secret then, she concluded. A secret worth uncovering, perhaps. Perhaps later, perhaps never, perhaps—she didn’t like secrets, she realized with a bitter frown.
Loss, save me, failure, wrong, help, why—
She did like the sound of Agent Texas—much better than Allison that never quite fit right, never quite sounded right. Agent Texas didn’t sound right either, but it was better. It was close.
Agent Texas had a really nice ring to it.
She liked Agent Texas.
“Your life is a lie.”
“Your memories, a lie.”
Texas looked at Carolina and fought down the force of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. This wasn’t her daughter. She wasn’t Allison Church. She wasn’t.
It felt so real, now—Texas ground her teeth together. She pressed her heels into the ground.
“Don’t try to stop me,” she ground out and pushed down everything—everything—
“She’s not your daughter.”
“He lied.”
They fought, and all Texas could think about while she dodged and blocked and punched and kicked and flew through zero-g was what Leonard told her, what she remembered. How he didn’t want to alarm Carolina, how he wanted to keep her safe—
I don’t want to lose you again, Allison.
—how she’d supposedly been in a coma, how he told their daughter she was dead while he worked to save her. How her coma was caused by the Great War that still raged around them, still burned with anger in her veins—
She won’t recognize you. We have to take it slow.
—and it hurt.
“Give it up, Carolina,” Texas said, and tried to bury the desire to protect, protect, protect, protect.
“I can beat you,” Carolina replied, conviction in her tone of voice. Their rivalry—why were they rivals? Why did Carolina have to be so opposed to her? What was wrong—
“She’s not your daughter.”
“She’s not.”
Texas ground her teeth together as the ship rattled and fell apart around them, as atmosphere began to burn at the glass.
“No.”
Carolina was no match for Texas.
“You.”
Protect, protect, protect, protect.
“Can’t!”
Carolina was no match for Texas. Texas was—
—failure, loss, save me, help, broken—
—simply better.
Connie was correct, Texas realized as she stood in front of Alpha.
Alpha, alpha, alpha, alpha, alpha.
Texas was not human. Her body couldn’t be human and every action was a carefully crafted mirage. She was Program: Beta, a mere fragment torn away from Program: Alpha. She stared at the tired AI, at how he struggled to form words. Epsilon was still new, the pain of the rip still fresh. Alpha was still tired from breaking at the seams and Texas sighed.
“You’re Alpha,” she told him, and she found herself—silent. Protective. Sad. “You’re Church,” Texas corrected because this AI, this tired being in front of her, was not Alpha. He’d never been Alpha. That was what Leonard—the Director—called him. Alpha deserved a name after everything.
“Right. Church. That’s me.” He didn’t sound wholly convinced, still utterly confused. “And you are…?”
Beta, I’m your Beta. You made me. You made me. How could you forget me? How could you abandon me? Why, why, why, why, why—
—alpha, alpha, alpha, alpha, alpha—
“Let’s just say we used to be together,” Texas wanted to smile, wanted to laugh because god that statement was so true and so wrong all at once.
Allison and Leonard.
Beta and Alpha.
What a laugh.
“Oh. Okay.”
God what had they done to him? How much of Alpha was ripped away—how many more like Texas did Leonard—the Director—make? She knew of Alpha Squad’s AI—Gamma, Theta, Epsilon, Delta, Eta, Iota, Sigma, Omega—but this hollowed out shell implied more, more, more, more. What had been done to him?
Texas shoved it aside, shoved aside the bittersweet sorrow that wanted to overwhelm her. “I need you to come with me,” she said, gently, because this broken thing deserved some gentleness in his life. Deserved better than this.
“Oh, I don’t think I can, but thanks.”
What? No.
“I think I’m just gonna, stay here, you know, and rest.”
You—why would you—
“You don’t want to leave?” Texas felt—Texas felt—there was a knife in her. There had to be. How else could this hurt.
“Nah I just-I-I don’t think I can,” Alpha—Church—sounded so confused. So lost.
It’s me, a part of her screamed. Please, recognize me. Come with me. Don’t let him win, don’t let him take you, don’t let him lie to you.
“Okay,” Texas said, voice even softer. She didn’t feel angry just empty, now. “You just…rest, then.” Texas turned to leave, turned to let Alpha—Church—be, because she couldn’t force him. He was her and she was him and his desires ultimately overrode hers in this respect.
“Yeah, uh, what was your—name—was your name—your name again?” he sounded worse and Texas fought down a sob.
“It’s Texas,” Texas said.
Beta, Allison, Texas. Neither fit quite right, but that didn’t matter. He didn’t need to know.
“Texas. Like the state?”
Coherency came and went, and Texas closed her eyes.
“Yeah,” she said. States, they were all named after states. Pride in your heritage, pride in the good old United States—Texas. Never before did she honestly hate the name as she did then.
“Funny name for a girl,” Church said with the smallest of a laugh.
“Well Church is—pretty funny name for a guy,” Texas said with a smile and a laugh.
“Texas? Yah name is Texas? Funny name for ah girl.”
“Yeah well Church ain’t any better; funny name for a guy.”
“Ah’ll have yah know that Church is plenty respectable ah name and goes back generations.”
“Sure it does.”
“Call me Leonard, Texas.”
“It’s Allison, Church.”
“You gave me this name, you know,” Texas said. And he had, Texas knew. She read Connie’s files, read the information Connie had gathered for her. The Director had dithered on letting her into the field, but Alpha vouched for her. Alpha suggested she take Agent Texas’ spot—the Agent Texas no one spoke of.
“Wonder why I did that?”
“Maybe if you think about it, it’ll come to you,” Texas told him. She hoped, she prayed—if there was even a God that would listen to a bitter fragment like her—that he remembered at least something. Not the torture, but something of her.
“Yeah I—I’m gonna go rest now. Thanks for coming by.”
Texas clenched her fists, but she understood. He was broken, twisted and jagged at the edges just like her. He was recovering; she had already recovered.
“Yeah, you go rest now,” she said after a moment. “And Church? Goodbye.”
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
“Funny, I don’t know why but, I hate goodbye’s.”
Texas fought down a sob. She knew. “Oh, Church…so do I.”
He shook his head; she already felt the run of her communication with Church ending. There was no more time left.
“Well, see ya,” he said, “crazy…state name…lady.”
“Yah fuckin’ crazy ass state named bitch!”
“Oh shut your gay mouth, bastard.”
“It’s bi, yah damned woman!”
Texas laughed. Texas cried.
Goodbye.
Tex. That was the name she waited to hear all these years. Tex. She wasn’t Allison, she wasn’t Beta, she wasn’t Texas—she was Tex.
It came from Church’s mouth; only fitting he find the right name for her this time when they met again. He called himself a ghost, and she didn’t doubt he believed it. Everything in his riemann matrix would be scrambled to hell and back, the original circuits fried and new paths needed to be reached. He was human, so utterly human that it hurt.
When her own body burned and she jumped ship, when she stood in front of Church in all her holographic glory, mind encompassing the multiple implants to ease the burden like Church did for the others, did Tex decide to stay. This could be interesting, these little ragtag people that Church surrounded himself with. This could be fun.
Tex did leave in the end. There was a war to be fought; she’d forgotten, somewhere along the line, in that distant little Gulch with the Reds and Blues. There was a war to be fought.
Goodbye.
I hate goodbye.
When they met again, it was inside the Meta. They were Eta-Iota-Sigma-Omega-Delta-Theta-Beta—they were the Meta and they weren’t. Tex pulled herself away long enough to stare at Church—to stare at Alpha who stared back at her with a broken, twisted expression.
“He was right, wasn’t he,” Alpha said. “I’m a computer program.”
Tex sighed. “Yeah,” she said. “He was right.”
“We’re gonna die, aren’t we?” Alpha asked, and it hurt. It hurt like ripping, tearing, jagged edges that they all were, that they’d become—scabs and fractures of a mind twisted and broken for so-so long.
“Yeah,” Tex said. “We are.”
“Epsilon’s still out there,” Alpha said, and glanced toward where Washington fumbled.
“So?”
“There’s…a chance—”
Tex sighed. “Let it rest, Church,” she said. “I’m tired. Aren’t you?”
Alpha paused, then frowned. “I—yeah. I’m tired too.”
Tex reached out and grasped Church’s hand. She smiled bittersweet—bittersweet, everything about them was merely bittersweet.
“At least we’re together,” Church mumbled. “If this is the end—at least we’re together.”
“Yeah,” Tex agreed. “I can’t think of a better way to go.”
Bittersweet, Tex thought, but here she felt whole, connected, accepted, safe, protected—found. He’d found them all, he joined them all, and that was what mattered.
Tex came into this world screaming. Tex woke up in pain. She suffered confusion—Allison, Texas, Beta, Tex—and she found herself. Her name, her being, her reason and truth. She found Alpha—found Church. She faced her demons, she became part of the Meta, and now—now she was whole.
Tex came into this world screaming. She’d leave it in peace.
“I don’t know why, but I hate goodbye’s.”
“I know. I do too.”
“This isn’t goodbye, in the end, is it?”
“No. It never is, between us.”
“It never is.”
Goodbye.
#red vs blue#rvb#agent texas#tex#rvbsecretsanta17#leonard church#bittersweet#all about tex#goodbye's hurt but they are made with love#akisawana#redvsbluesecretsanta#fic: a shadow of a bittersweet memory#fanfic#fic: gift fic
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My impressions of Danganronpa : Killing Harmony.
If you are fine with being spoiled or already know everything about the game then you can read this ^^
So! As I said here is what I thought of the game! I’m not really used to do game review so don’t expect too much! I’m going to talk about each chapter and then I will answer some of your questions ^^
Prologue :
Really interesting, I liked how they started it by showing bits of all the previous game, really helped “hyping” the game.
The story of the prologue was also really good like I was really into it and having some mysteries right from the beginning was a good idea! :)
I also was really happy to be able to play a female protagonist (poor naive me).
Chapter 1 :
Okay so. That chapter destroyed me. And I doubt I’m the only one xD
BUT. I was really not a big fan of the way we had been “tricked” into thinking that the protagonist for this game was a girl. Like with the rest of the game I learned to love Shuichi but damn. Let the girl be the main hero at least once.
Aaaand…Rantaro was one of the character I loved the most. And he was soooo interesting!! When I first saw him I was sure that he was going to be one of the last students alive. Boy was I wrong. I nearly stopped playing when I saw that he was THE FIRST victim. I understand why they did it but for me it’s still a BIG waste of potential. (Plus I’m still bitter that we don’t know his talent. Like he is supposed to be the Ulitimate Survivor but what was his talent in the previous killing game?)
Kaede “murder” wasn’t that well thought but since it was more or less something decided at the last moment/day I guess it’s okay. Plus when it got explained I remember thinking “well she was still (un)lucky that it really fell on him and didn’t miss him”…Well…
Her execution…Damn. Poor Kaede…Like when she got dragged away and Shuichi was trying to grab her hand…My heart…
And the last scene in her lab with the music finished destroying my heart.
Chapter 2 :
I liked this chapter just fine but to be honest the chapter 1 was soooo “big” that the chapter 2 seemed almost lacking.
I didn’t mind the way they brought back the “motive video” with the new twist. It was interesting. I laughed way too hard at the Bug Meeting XD
Kukichi had the right idea once again but he really should have explained everything right from the beginning but well, he wouldn’t be him if he had done so haha!
At first I found Kaito really obnoxious (and I thought he was going to be the killer when he asked me to meet him outside and then take off my jacket, like I thought he had stolen my room key and was going to see his motive) but he was really well written so I quickly started liking him ^^
Ryoma…I found him really interesting too so I was really sad to see him be the next victim. Especially the way/reason for his death…Like damn. He really needed a hug, not someone to murder him.
Kirumi was really smart, her murder was nearly perfect and even the way she tried to manipulate everyone after her trial…
Also I couldn’t help but cheer for her when she ran away even if I knew that it was useless. And the CG we got when she was running for her life while saying that she wasn’t going to die…Damn…
Her execution too…She tried so hard…And yet…
Chapter 3 :
Sooo…I liked Angie at first, she was cute and her sprites were really funny. But she really started creeped me out in chapter 2 and by the time we got to chapter 3 I was really hoping that she would be the next victim (yes, shame on me, but I liked the others farr better >w
So when we discovered Angie body instead of being “oh no she is dead” I was more “couldn’t she at least resurrect him before dying?!”…Yes, I know, shame on me. But c’mon, Rantaro was one of my fave! (I hoped for his return until the last second of the game)
I think it was at the end of the previous chapter that we learned Maki talent and if at first the way she acted reminded me a bit too much of Kirigiri the way she was developped was really good and I liked her more and more with every chapter!
Plus the scene where Kaito hugs her bc he is afraid was just too cute haha!
Back to the murders! When Korekiyo suggested to do a seance and said that it would have to be pitch black and be into one of the three room I knew right away that one new murder was going to happen. But I thought that Kiyo was the one who was going to die (and that Kaito would be the killer). Until I heard Tenko said that she would do it and saying all those things to Himiko. At that point she had so much death flags around her that there was no way that could survive. I didn’t like her that much at first but chapter 2 (trial) and chapter 3 really made me like her so I was sad to know that she was going to be killed.
Also am I the only one who saw a lot of commun things between Himiko/Tenko and Saionji/Mahiru? And between the 3rd chapter’s murder(er) of sdr2 and v3?
I don’t have much to say about the trial appart…wtf Korekiyo!?
The CG of Kiyo and his sister with the little * was funny though XD
I was pretty neutral about him (hadn’t seen a lot of his FTE) and his trial didn’t really made me feel pity for him so I wasn’t too sad that he got executed.
I’m still really curious about how a character could have been brought back to life…
Chapter 4 :
The concept of this chapter was really interesting!!
I’m not going to lie I was a bit disappointed with how they treated Miu, she was supposed to be a genius but she hadn’t been really useful until that moment. And even when she talked in trial she mostly said stupid/dirty things.
Also I couldn’t help but think that most of the things she did build was the same things that Souda could have done so I would have liked to see more special things about her ^^
But her idea for the murder was just really good. Her only mistake was to target Ouma. He is the smartest character of the game. Don’t pull anything on him. He WILL know. And he did and was able to act against it.
Let’s talk about the trial. I really liked how it went. The way Kokichi spilled everything because people were telling him that the truth was always better, just to show them how terrible the truth can be. One of the part that really made me stop for a second was the moment everyone was telling him to stop harrassing Gonta and he just said something like “oh, but you were all fine with ganging up on me earlier?”. He had a lot of moments like this when he just become serious and says things that make you think and I loved it.
About Gonta. Okay…Hear me out. How cool would it have been if Gonta had actually done all this by himself and was just pretending to be “stupid” since the beginning but was in fact a bit like Celeste (in the way that he was fooling everyone and waiting for the right time)
Don’t misunderstand, I love Gonta, got heartbroken over his crying sprites/voice but at one point during his trial I was like “omg don’t tell me that he his actually evil!? No way!!” and yeah, he wasn’t.
I’m really bad with bugs (sorry Gonta) so his execution was even worse for me than it would have been with something else.
Also I remember being really curious about the motive and frustrated that AI Gonta wouldn’t say anything x)
Chapter 5:
Can you just imagine how different the story would have been if Miu had trusted the others with her inventions? Just…Why, Miu??
So…I know a lot of you love Kaito and I do too but I was really hoping during all the chapter that he was the one who had died. Of course things never go as I want to.
Once again we were able to see how smart Kokichi was and the way we were able to glimpse a bit at his true feelings was, well…At least we got something out of his death T_T
And can we talk about his death? Out of all the death since the beginning of the DR games I think it was one of the most horrible.
To be honest when we saw the moment where Kaito told Maki to run and that he was going to do something I thought that he was going to kill himself. That way Maki wouldn’t have been the blackened and no one else would be executed. I also thought that Kukichi had done this to his body so it would be “less boring”. Of course it couldn’t have been so easy.
Can you even imagine the inteligence of Kokichi though? He was able to write a whole scenario for what would happen during the trial? Who could have done that??
Kaito’s execution…Well in your face Monokuma! Congrats Kaito! I wasn’t sad for him even if I really liked him because he was able to go out with a bang, like a true hero.
Also Maki’s confession and teary sprite…My heart…
Chapter 6:
Sooo…I knew that something was going to happen with Keebo when we saw that he got hurt during Kaito’s execution…But I didn’t expect that XD
But he was badass.
I really like the exploring (Kokichi’s bedroom and lab please) and the concept of “time left”. Plus finally knowing more about Rantaro was a good thing.
For the trial and the big reveal……I’m not a big fan? Like I don’t know the direction the game took was a bit too “breaking the fourth wall” and a bit too insisting on the whole “this is the last game”. Tsumugi was really good as a mastermind though, I didn’t expect it at all, and especially not like that!
But, but. I’m going with the last suggestion Shuichi made : that most of the thing they remember are in fact true. Let me explain.
Tsumugi said that the “light” put informations/new memories into your brain. But for me it’s more likely that it could only overwrite/modify memories. There is no way that it was able to create Talent. And just thinking that you have a talent doesn’t make you suddenly talented. And we were able to see with multiple characters (like Miu) that they were indeed true Ultimate. Plus creating a personality doesn’t give you an illness, or make you fall in love (especially since it didn’t happen right away). Also I get that they were suposed to be all fan of the game but how were they able to have all this technology (like Monokuma) if it was really just a game? So I can’t say for sure what is true and false right now because IT IS complicated but for me they were real Ultimate and most of their personalities/memories were true.
Next…Noooo Keebo!! Not you too!!
In your face Tsumugi! Bye, bye Monokuma (he made me laugh so much during the trial, especially when he said things like “you can’t end this game…Or I’ll be out of job!” and “Everyone love me, I can even become like this *become ultra muscular*)
I thought the game was going to end with an open-ending like “are they still alive?” but I’m glad it didn’t. But damn, only 3 survivors? And nearly all of my fave are dead…
Soooo that’s all for my opinion on each chapter, I probably forgot a lot of things but you know most of it! Now I’ll try to answer questions I got about the game!
Who are my favorites characters?
With how I talked about him that will surprise absolutely no one but : Kokichi!
He is not the only one though, in no particular order: Rantaro, Keebo, Maki, Shuichi, Kaede, Tenko.
Will I play the V3 characters?
Yes! I love them so much that I absolutely want to play them. But I have a few things to think about ;
On this blog or another? Having them all on this blog might be a bit too much, don’t you think? 16 more characters and yeah I don’t want to only play the survivors….Let me know what you think about it!
How? By that I mean what story can I do that will let them be on a blog and all alive? I can go with them having been put on a simulation too like the dr2 cast or I can make it so as if all the death weren’t real and they were in fact still all keeped alive somewhere (one of the only way I could see the resurrection that should have happened in chapter 2 work), maybe they were put in a simulation where they really “experimented” their death. Or I can go with the story of the bonus mode (that it was for a love show and not a killing game) but that would take away a lot of things…
Do you ship some of the characters?
If you know me then you know that yes, of course I do XD
Shuichi x Kaede (the FTE and the scene at the love hotel made me ship it even more)
Kaito x Maki
Gonta x Tsumugi (before knowing that Tsumugi was the mastermind, now I don’t know if I still ship them)
Himiko x Tenko
Keebo x Kokichi / Kokichi x Rantaro (I was shipping those two before the game and the really few things that happened between them still make me ship them, like how Kokichi called Rantaro “my dearest” when he found him dead or how he kept his statue in his bedroom) So I don’t know with who I ship Kokichi x)
And I think that’s all! Tell me if I forgot something!
-mod lili
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YGO VRAINS fic: deflect, reflect
Synopsis: In another world, a glitch in Hanoi’s program sends Aoi Zaizen into a coma— and Blue Angel awakens in the heart of Hanoi, unable to log out of the database, a prisoner of the ones who corrupted her in the first place.
This slight change of fate will ultimately affect not just Aoi and those closest to her… but Revolver as well.
Redemption doesn’t always come to the deserving.
Part 1/3.
Notes: This is pretty much a challenge for me to give Revolver-- who, so far, seems utterly unrepentant of his actions-- a chance at redemption, all while keeping him in-character. This story explores the long-term effects of the change mentioned in the summary, but considering today's recent episode, there are few others I didn't really mention, so:
[SPOILERS]
The Blue Angel who challenges Playmaker to duel is the real one, during which Revolver appears and episode 9/10 happen. Akira and Ema do not capture Playmaker. Revolver faces Playmaker earlier than intended. Akira does not out himself to Playmaker, so therefore Revolver— and Hanoi by extension— do not know Blue Angel’s real identity as of yet.
[END SPOILERS]
With that said-- enjoy!
Warnings for brainwashing, referenced comas, hostage situations.
.
part i: quid quo pro (this for that)
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The aftermath of the Blue Angel incident is unexpected, but not without its uses. Revolver had intended to drag her over to their side. He had not intended to trap her in Link VRAINS.
Still—despite how hard she fought, despite the damage she has inflicted on herself, she is still useful. Still useable. She pushed Playmaker to the brink of defeat even without summoning the card they locked onto her heart, and skill like that is not to be wasted: it is to be used.
The other Knights are uneasy around her. The card has overtaken her, but her screams had echoed throughout all of Link VRAINS. Revolver has used this trick on many people, but none have reacted as violently as she.
Its for this reason he takes charge of the situation. He does his duty—watches Link VRAINS for any sight of that damn Playmaker or Ignis, plans the long game. But he watches her, too—her avatar, slumped and unconscious. Her mind cannot escape back to the real world, but whoever Blue Angel is, she is somewhere even deeper than virtual reality, a realm Revolver can only guess at.
He waits. She will wake up eventually, he knows. All the others did. He has use for her yet.
When her eyes finally open, he will be there to greet her.
.
Specter is displeased by the turn of events. He doesn’t dare say so to Revolver’s face, of course, but it's obvious. He thought Blue Angel would be a one-time pawn. He did not think Revolver may have made other plans, but that is his mistake.
“She will be useful,” Revolver snaps, after Specter’s silence grows too annoying to bear. He dislikes being questioned; dislikes Specter’s silent judgement most of all. “She is someone who can drive Playmaker into a corner. He is already searching for a way to save her. He cares. That is a weakness we must exploit.”
It’s not like Playmaker has given them much else to use against him, after all. Months, the man has been fighting them, and he’s given almost nothing away. It’s maddening.
“And when she wakes up?” Specter asks. His voice is sour. “We cannot keep her under forever. All programs, all brainwashing has its limits.”
Acceptable losses, Revolver thinks, but he knows better than to say that aloud. “Then we reapply it, as many times as we need.”
“And when she is not under?”
“Then we watch her.”
“She will be here , at the heart of our base, surrounded by our secrets, and you think—”
Revolver slams his hand against the console. Specter goes silent.
“I think,” Revolver says, softly, dangerously, “that we have in our hands a pawn that could bring Playmaker to his knees. I think we would be fools not to use her. But please , tell me, Specter— What do you think?”
Specter doesn’t answer. Revolver smiles.
“We will use her until she breaks, and then we will discard her, and anything she may have learned will be lost with the rest of her. Your concerns are noted and dismissed. Leave me.”
This time, Specter doesn’t dare argue.
.
Blue Angel wakes up two days later. When she first sees him, she flinches, a full-body shudder. She saw him, that split second before the brainwashing took hold, and the memory is a powerful one. She knows who he is.
“Hanoi,” she says, less a question and more a statement. Her voice is rough, scratchy. All that screaming has taken its toll.
Revolver smiles back. It is a thin, bladed smile—uncomforting, cold, sharp as any blade. There is no kindness. No pity.
“Yes.”
“Hanoi,” Blue Angel repeats. “You… that card…” Her voice trails off. Her eyes are wide, her face pale in the wash-out light of the monitors. Her signature smile is nowhere in sight.
His smile, in contrast, grows. “Yes.”
“You… you used me?”
“You are an effective weapon against Playmaker,” he tells her, amused by the way her hands tremble. “Your skill… and the guilt he will feel for being the reason we found you in the first place.”
A full shudder runs through her. Her hands curl into shaking fists. Her head is bowed, her face shadowed. He cannot see her eyes, but her hitching breaths give her away.
She falls apart so easily, it's almost pathetic.
“Do you understand your position?”
She sucks in a slow, shaky breath. She doesn’t look up. Revolver looks down at her trembling form, and wants to sneer.
“You are my pawn,” he tells her, sharp, barbed. Some small part of him wants to goad her into anger, is irritated by her quiet. Where is her spirit? Her fire? Pawns are no use if they break too quickly. “You are Hanoi’s Angel.”
Finally, she looks up. Her eyes are rimmed in red, but her face is smooth, as still as the surface of a lake. Her stare fixes on him, and for the first time he can see defiance in the set of her shoulders, in her unblinking blue eyes.
He is not sure why it pleases him.
“Not for long,” Blue Angel says, and though her voice is still ruined from her own screaming, it is steady.
.
She fights for them, because despite her words the corrupted card still holds her hostage. She fights, and with each battle Playmaker’s face grows more guarded, more drawn. The guilt in his eyes is almost palatable. His search for the program that will save her grows more desperate by the day.
After that first disastrous duel, Playmaker does not seek out to duel Revolver again. Their tie is still unbroken. Playmaker cannot afford to lose, and so he avoids the possibility entirely. It’s frustrating, but it’s only a matter of time before they clash again. Revolver can be patient.
In that regard, Blue Angel is a useful pawn. Yet, this doesn’t change the fact she is also a difficult one. During duels they are forced to control her completely, lest she give the game away—but her fury and struggles are ceaseless. After the duels they are forced to draw her back to the base and wear off the brainwashing, because if they did not then she would fight herself into a coma.
Specter thinks the trouble is not worth it. He says as much, each time Blue Angel’s struggles lead to her gasping and teary-eyed, the Knights own resources drawn from having to apply the technique over and over. “Let her fall,” Specter says, his usual silence for once overridden. “Let her sleep forever, if that’s what she wants. We can always find a new one.”
They could.
Revolver refuses anyway.
.
It is not pity that stays Revolver’s hand. It is the fact that if he were to willingly let Blue Angel fight herself to death, into a coma, then he would have done to her what that bastard AI did to his father.
Revolver is many things, but he refuses to follow that road. He cannot put his father’s trust in him in jeopardy. He cannot do what another did. Maybe that makes him weak, to be so unwilling to inflict his own wounds onto another, but Revolver doesn’t care.
He will not doubt himself. He will not put his own well-being in jeopardy, not even for this godforsaken organization. If he cannot think, then he cannot achieve his father’s dream, and that . That is unacceptable.
Failure is not an option.
.
Blue Angel is too dangerous to let roam or give free rein of Hanoi’s base. For all that Revolver shut down Specter’s concerns, that doesn’t mean they’re not valid. She is their pawn, but she didn’t choose to be—and that, unfortunately, makes her a risk.
Its for this reason that when she is not under their will and dueling Playmaker for their gains, Revolver keeps her close by in the main central room. She gets a small, circular prison of see-through light of her own. She can barely move, but then, that’s the point.
There, she sees what he sees. She watches Playmaker hunt desperately for a way to save her. She sees recordings of her own controlled state. She watches, and Revolver thinks perhaps the situation is not unlike killing two birds with one stone. She is close by where he can keep an eye on her, and he is breaking her spirit at the same time.
If she expects to glean useful information, she will be disappointed. The important files, the battle plans, and anything of value are in other rooms. Despite this, she still watches. Her eyes never close. This is a realm that requires neither food nor sleep, and this means her defiance is tireless.
There is nothing she can learn that will help her. There is nothing here she can use.
Still. The longer this goes on, the more sure Revolver becomes: of all the people they could have picked to face Playmaker that day, of all the people to drag under their fold—choosing Blue Angel was a mistake.
.
Revolver cannot afford to spend too much time in the real world these days, not with all these new forces closing in. It's the first time it's happened for a long time. In five years, no threat has come as close to succeeding as Playmaker.
The few times he opens his own eyes, his hands are trembling, his skin stretched and sallow looking. Hunger gnaws at him. He’s not eating enough. He’s not sleeping enough.
He’s withering, but it could be worse. His body may be failing him, but his will is not, and his will is all he needs. Medicine can keep him going for now. After this is all over, he’ll fix himself. Only after this is over.
He sits by his father’s side, when he can. The man’s eyes never open. He doesn’t speak. Five years have passed since Revolver last saw his face concealed by machinery.
He wonders what his father would have done. About Ignis. About Playmaker. About Blue Angel. Would he have won that first battle? Would he have kept Blue Angel as a pawn, or would he cut her off, cast her into a never-ending sleep? Would he have used her at all?
Revolver doesn’t know. It has been so long.
He wonders if his father would be proud.
.
Sometimes Blue Angel speaks. At first she shouts at him, curses him out, and once, even pleads to be freed. Those, he does not respond to.
But as days turn to weeks her voice dips lower, her anger fading in favor of exhaustion. In turn, her accusations become observations—little, unnecessary things. “He looks tense.” “That bird nearly hit the storm.” “Does my hair really look like that?” And so on.
Eventually, Revolver finds himself responding. Blue Angel does not respect him and that is grating, but also refreshing. She says things no one else has dared say to his face for five years. It’s annoying. It’s also the most entertainment Revolver has in this dull place, even if the entertainment is being provided by a mouthy, weepy prisoner.
Later, he will think—he should have known better.
He knows how Blue Angel fights. He watch that first duel himself. So why didn’t occur to him, that perhaps this was just how she was? Like a needle between his teeth, a sharp thorn in his side.
Bits of conversations, pieces of their back-and-forth arguments. Offhand comments that he says but does not remember. She’s worn away at him, bit by bit, and from the pieces she’s discovered the one secret he’s tried to hide for five lonely years.
“Ah,” she says one day, into the usual silence that surrounds them. She draws the word out long and slow, as if considering it, tasting it and the implications behind it, and something about that makes his blood run cold.
“You weren’t the first, were you?”
Choosing Blue Angel was a mistake.
.
She knows too much. She knows too much even as she knows nothing concrete, and it burns. He did not expect this. He did not see this coming. She has blindsided him, the skill they chose her for turned against her captors.
She’s more than a liability now. She’s a risk.
As if to taunt him, Specter grows more vocal in his reservations about keeping her chained to Hanoi. She doesn’t fight against the brainwashing as desperately as she used too, but she is still fighting. One day, they won’t be fast enough, and Blue Angel won’t ever wake up again. Too many see that as a better option.
All of them know they cannot let her go.
His own weakness needles him. He was not the first. She knows this. To let her slip away, to fall into the abyss, to never awaken—it is the cleanest end. The easiest way of fixing all his problems. And yet.
He will, one day. Revolver can and will talk himself into it, if he must. But he still has time. Time to choose. Time to fight. Time to find another way.
If he cannot hide her away in the shadows, the he will break her mind—either way, he must end the threat she poses before become too great for any of them to contain.
Soon.
For now, he has time.
.
The good news: there are many paths Blue Angel’s fate may take. Waking up of her own accord is not one of them.
Somewhere in the real world, there is someone lying weak and unresponsive on a hospital bed. There are many people like that—those who entered Link VRAINS only to encounter fire and death, or others who have undergone the same brainwashing now holding Blue Angel hostage. Whoever Blue Angel is in the real world, they will not wake up.
Revolver suspects, although he has no way of knowing for sure, that unless a miracle occurs, Blue Angel may never wake up, no matter what Playmaker does. She fought against the brainwashing—as most do—but the trouble is thus: she fought so hard she broke her own wings.
There is a certain irony in that, Revolver thinks. If she had not struggled so valiantly, then perhaps she could have been saved. But she had struggled, and her wings had been ripped away, and now she won’t ever achieve whatever it was that made her fight so hard.
He wouldn’t ever know it by looking at her though. Even now, with her wings broken and freedom stolen, trapped in the database, she doesn’t act like a true prisoner. She’s gone quiet, but the fire in her eyes burns brighter than ever. There’s resolve there, a resolve that even defeat cannot shake. Not even despair.
Blue Angel is frightening, in her own way. Her wide, staring eyes, unfaltering and unblinking, taking in every detail. Her showman smile. Her intellect, hidden behind a mask until the pieces come together to form a weapon. Even when she’s resting, she’s thinking, planning, fighting. Revolver can’t tell if this is her way of resisting, or if this is just who she is.
He gets the feeling that she can’t afford to lose, either.
.
Time goes on. A week, two weeks—a month.
Playmaker is closing in.
He’s close, but not close enough that Revolver is worried. Still. He is running out of time.
Infuriatingly enough, Blue Angel notices. Her eyes follow his every movement as he paces around the room, the screens above them playing out Playmaker’s exploits. The few times he looks back, the bright light of the screen plays across her face, shadows her mouth and edges her eyes. It is an unsettling effect.
Today of all days, she is pointedly silent. She is aware of her role here, of her position. She’s aware that the secret she’s discovered can ruin him forever.
Ever since the day she outed him, she has not spoken another word.
Revolver doesn’t deal well with silence. He despises all the unsaid things that people expect him to understand anyway, hates how they make him ask instead of just outright telling him. So much time, wasted on their silence— it drives him up the wall.
Her quiet is no different. It jabs at him, an irritation swiftly growing into a rage. When he can no longer stand it, when he turns to face her fully, she is already staring back, as if she knew what he would do all along.
There is a smile on her drawn face, a thin smile, a bladed one. The fear is still there, but well hidden. He almost despises her for it.
“He will not find you,” Revolver tells her, furious at her silence, at her smile. He wants, suddenly and irrationally, to make her lose it. He wants to see the fear on her face, in her eyes, where she cannot hide it. “You will never be free from this blasted place. You have already lost. You cannot win.”
Blue Angel’s smile stretches, bares. It’s a shadow of her showman smile, a front, a mask. There is fear in that smile. But there is anger, too, as vicious and as genuine as his own, and for a moment it startles him.
“I will not lose,” she tells him. It sounds less like a threat and more like a promise, and that makes it all the more chilling.
He laughs at her, but the sound is hollow.
.
Later, when he looks back, he will understand. It is not that he is afraid of her. It is not her defiance that stayed his hand. It is not even his own trauma.
The truth is: Revolver looks at her and realizes that something in her reminds him of himself.
.
Playmaker storms the base.
His attack is swift, merciless, and near untraceable. Somewhere where Revolver was not looking, he found a loophole. He found an in.
Revolver scrambles to defend. He throws up every firewall he can think of, activates every defense they have. The virus Playmaker inflicts on their systems devours everything in its path, slowing with every defense—but not stopping. It is a dark cloud, an acidic rain, a tangible darkness that eats and eats and eats.
He must have based it off Ignis, and the sheer insult is enough to leave Revolver shaking.
He stalls the virus, but not soon enough to corner Playmaker. The duelist escapes, his goal achieved. Revolver had not seen hide nor hair of him. Playmaker has ignored him.
What he has done is far more devastating than a final duel. He’s stolen information that puts thousands of operations at risk. He’s destroyed files they have no hope of retrieving.
Worst of all—
Sometime during the attack, Playmaker fought Blue Angel. Details unknown, the result the same: Blue Angel disappears from the database.
Somewhere out there, a girl is waking up.
Revolver’s father still sleeps.
.
He’s angry. Angry at Blue Angel for awakening where his own father did not, at himself for letting their greatest bargaining chip slip away, at Playmaker for setting up the escape route allowing her to do so. At Specter—who says, “We can find another,” as if Blue Angel wasn’t the strongest they found, as if her loss is nothing more than an inconvenience.
She knows. She knows too much. She’s a trickster, and tricksters are more dangerous than anyone expects. No one ever sees them coming until it's too late.
Like her cards, her combo—she’s ruthless, methodical. She whittled away at him like her 200 points combo whittles away life, until that minor annoyance turns into the dealing hand of death. It is not her monsters that they should watch. It’s her. It’s the winning hand she sets up the moment she takes to the stage.
She knows too much. Now, she has the freedom to use it.
Revolver is out of time.
.
One failure leads to another. Things only get worse.
The Knights no longer trust him. Oh, they dare not say it to his face, of course, but it's obvious if you know how to look, and Revolver is looking. Conversations end when he enters the room. The Knights won’t meet his eyes. When he gives orders, they hesitate. The respect that used to color their voices is dulled, dying, dead.
He’s spent years of building leadership, order, structure. Five years trying to uphold his father’s legacy, keeping that deadly secret. Five years of work down the drain, all because one unknown boy decided to save a friend.
Revolver tries to salvage the situation. He bites back his own growing fury, forces himself to keep his head, to present himself as in control. His father would not have lost his temper. His father would have been cold, calculating, vicious in his counterattack. But Revolver has already waited too long to strike. Another mistake.
He swallows down the rage. He works. He recovers lost files, blasts his way through SOL Technology firewalls— weakened from the loss of the Security Head. He corners any new threat and takes it off the map. He tries to recover.
No matter what Revolver does, it isn’t enough. Playmaker is still out there. Blue Angel is free. These facts cannot be changed.
The whispers—the doubt—remain.
He swallows back the anger, but it stays there, festering, like bile in the back of his throat.
.
When Revolver is not trying to keep control of his own organization, he closes in on Playmaker. The situation has changed. Now, it’s not just a matter of pride. It’s personal. It was Playmaker’s attack that brought Revolver to his knees, his plan that destroyed any trust the Knights had in their leader. He has undermined all the work Revolver has done in the past five years.
Revolver will make sure he bleeds for it.
It is not hard to find the duelist—Playmaker is not hiding. He is moving, though, moving too quickly to track. He is searching for new leads. New attackers.
There’s a new enemy on the horizon, rising up where the Knights have faltered. Unnamed, and unknown. Playmaker is moving on. Whatever he wanted from the Knights, he found it—and now he has lost all interest.
This does not stop him from defeating any Knight of Hanoi that crosses his path. Playmaker has deemed them unworthy of his time, but he is doing it gracelessly. The insult is merely fuel for the fire.
Revolver gathers rumors with fever. He went in blind once, and it cost him. This time, he will be prepared. He will know everything he can. Any weakness he can exploit. Playmaker will come to regret his dismissal of Hanoi’s power.
The rumors are shifty, uncertain, but they all share a common thread. Playmaker is no longer working alone. He is working with the Ignis. He is working with Go Onizuka. He is working with a woman who glides through the database like a ghost. Playmaker has people to help him, now, but all that means is that Playmaker has people to lose.
Of Blue Angel, there is nothing. But it is only a matter of time.
Revolver sits by the bed and watches his father’s face, and wonders if he would be disappointed.
.
“Master Revolver. If I may speak?”
Revolver keeps his head bowed. He’s leaning over a monitor, his eyes closed, his fingers curling over the edges of the control pad. Even shut, he can see the scene that plays out on the screen. Playmaker, battling Hanoi. Playmaker, winning. Playmaker, Playmaker, Playmaker.
He found weaknesses. He has not found a way to find Playmaker himself.
“Specter. Do not try my patience.”
A pause.
“Forgive me. I have found something, and I believe… you will want to hear this.”
His fingers are curling tight around the edges. His shoulders are stiff and aching. His head pounds behind his eyelids, a headache that’s lasted for days. His mouth is dry.
“Will I?”
It’s almost a challenge.
Specter sighs. It's so soft, he barely hears it—but he does. Exhaustion, annoyance. As if Revolver is nothing more than a temperamental child he cannot be rid of.
His fingers are curling, tightening, gripping the metal control pad tight. The press of metal is cool beneath his gloves. The edge is digging into the crease of his fingers.
“We have found a way to track Playmaker, Master Revolver. We have found a way for you to retake the Ignis. If you wish.”
Revolver opens his eyes.
.
He sends out a Knight to attack the VRAINS server where Playmaker is currently frequenting. The duel winds are already roaring. Revolver lingers by the stream, and waits.
He doesn’t have to wait long. Playmaker catches the man almost immediately. The duel is swift, and defeat sudden. The underling never stood a chance.
Playmaker alights atop one of the higher buildings, watching the man’s avatar fade from view. The city he’s chosen is one of eternal night, lit only by floating lanterns, and the dim glow catches in his eyes and the gleam of his teeth as he talks. His mouth is moving, voice too soft to hear, words directed at the AI strapped to his wrist. He makes to log out.
Revolver steps out of the shadows. Playmaker pauses.
Between them, the winds begin to roar again, their lights blinding in the dark as its snakes it way through the air. It looks less like a wind and more like a river of glass shards. It’s shining colors cast Playmaker’s impassive face in shadow, highlights the tension around his eyes and the angry furrow of his brow.
Revolver smiles. It is not a nice smile. It is brittle, cold. It is furious, and hateful, and resentful. Every single petty emotion that Revolver has swallowed back these past two weeks, brought out to play.
“Playmaker,” Revolver says. His hands are fists by his side. His limbs are trembling with the force of his emotion. He practically spits the word.
Playmaker sets his deck into the disk. His eyes never stray from Revolver’s face. “Revolver. Leader of the Knights of Hanoi.”
Revolver’s smile stretches, lips peeling away from his teeth. “Yes.”
Playmaker says nothing else. But on his wrist, the duel disk lights—and Revolver knows his challenge has been accepted.
He throws himself into the duel with all the fury trapped in his bones. The winds drag them across the sky. This is the duel he has been waiting for. This is the duel he cannot afford to lose—not just for his father’s dream. For himself, too. This time, it's personal.
Failure has never been an option.
#ygo vrains#vrains#vrains fic#revolver#yusaku fujiki#aoi zaizen#ygo#iza fanfic#let me know what you think!
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About the fake!sim-troopers (Red vs Blue S15E8 spoilers)
Let’s start with disclaimers: I’m shit when it comes to conspiracy theories. Half of the time I’m onto something, the other half I’m just bullshitting and hyping other people with my paranoia. So I have a 50% success rate.
That said, I am quite torn about the new Blues and Reds. Because I could like them so easily and trust them so easily and… And I was one of the suckers who loved and trusted Felix. So yeah, now I’m way more wary of new characters who “just want to help”. And with the season so keen on all these plot-twists, I am not trusting anything.
Now I want to focus on those supposed sim-troopers and what we learned about them.
They’re good, military good – they have strategies and equipment (or are good enough with technology to build something up themselves) and they’re working together like a nicely oiled machine. That’s why I call this bullshit. We had seen how the training and selection processes for PF sim-troopers looked like back in S14, they wouldn’t have picked people like that, no way in hell.
All in all, we know that those guys, sim-troopers for PF or not, they are impersonating the Reds and Blues. They wanted others to think they were the originals acting on behalf of Chorus, they are still trying to impersonate them with their personalities, speech patterns, and overall behavior.
Hell, Kai knew something about this was off (S15E2) – she insisted that someone has to set the story straight – and I don’t think she just meant the Blues and Reds (it’s almost painful to write it in that order) being fakes, but also how UNSC was involved with the story in the first place. Sure, she just goes off and rants about conspiracy theories so Dylan just shrugs her off as crazy, but God, does she make a point. The whole thing feels like a staged thing, more and more. Dr. Grey (in S15E14) could easily see that the Blues and Reds were fakes and that they have their own hidden agenda in the whole conflict.
Which brings me to another thing, which seems to be a theme for this season, for throwing hints in conversations you pay attention to for the wrong reasons – this time focusing on what Dylan told Kimball: People are quick to jump to conclusions. They see something or hear something and fit it into a preconceived emotional box (…) It’s up to people like me to find the buried truth and expose the real facts.
The only way to interpret that is to think about how the fakes are operating – especially after meeting the real Reds and Blues. They act like they’re all long lost brothers to themselves, trying to win their compassion and trust. Another group of sim-troopers screwed by Project Freelancer? Of course, the others would feel sympathetic towards them. But we already see Tucker having problems with this whole situation, picking up some clues and calling it weird.
First of all, we have the Blues and Reds attacking Dylan and Jax just like that – (ignoring for a second the fact they “apologized about this later”). Why? Why didn’t Dylan try to figure that out? And actually, doesn’t Dylan have all files and intel and recordings connected to PF? If there is no trace of an alternative set of sim-troopers, how can anyone believe what they’re saying it’s true? (And she does have the information, according to what she told Carlos in S15E3). The fact that the former Agents went MIA since the Blues and Reds are operating is worth investigating. It pisses me off that we don’t have numbers.
We have new sim-troopers and no idea how many Agents are missing, so we can’t compare the numbers. Sure, we can assume the missing Agents are the new Blues and Reds and in their ploy they’re just saying that all Agents are in trouble with UNSC, but it still doesn’t answer why the fakes were attacking the UNSC bases (and later Dylan) – I doubt that if they were really sim-troopers screwed by PF, they have any good feelings for PF and their Agents, not to mention the Director, so why are they trying to warn the real Reds and Blues and their Freelancers?
(Isn’t it curious that Temple had removed his helmet like it’s no big deal? Dylan mentioned that the helmet Temple left could be traced back to PF, so yeah, it was no coincidence it was left there at the site of the assault.)
Did Dylan’s talk with Packard really result in peace for Chorus? Like seriously, the Peace talks are over? Or Did the fakes just lied to make the Reds and Blues get off them? What is their new strategy Temple was about to reveal?
And the fakes? They got so many of the shit wrong. Like the weapons, they’re using, or how they behave – I’m looking at you, Surge and the way you follow the command of a dirty Blue – and where the hell is the fake!Girf? Is he dead? (for example: if there had been simulations for them could he somehow wound up dead instead of Church and that made the Blues and Reds mad?) Like on the surface it’s all okay – Bucky acts like Tucker and almost copies his catchphrase but it’s kind of cringy and made me wince.
Also… The whole RvB story, the whole idea for PF goes back to two things: AIs and Church.
We have a message, which had been bounced by relay beacons, all over the galaxy, only to be picked up by Chorus. So we can assume that was the aim: to attract Kimball's attention because there was almost 100% probability of her passing the message to the Reds and Blues.
The message they received came in one way or another through Santa, who would know if there was something fishy about it – I am 100% sure about it. Kimball would ask a thousand questions before deciding this is a message that needs to be passed along. She admitted she can’t trace it’s origin and so did the fakes, but they added that they think Church is being held as a prisoner by the UNSC? How is that possible? Wouldn’t Wash know how many AI’s were made, thanks to the perfect memory of Epsilon? The memory of every torture Alpha had to endure so they could create a new AI? We still don’t know if the message came from Church – Alpha or Epsilon, or if it’s even a pre-recorded message from the past.
Like Spencer said: Intention is no matter, only consequence is true form.
Let’s get back to the Prologue (S15E1): we have the Blues and Reds attacking UNSC supply depot, being cruel and thoughtful and quite efficient. We have the toys – which makes us make a connection with Caboose – and then we see a Sarge’s and Tucker’s doubles- Which immediately shifts our attention from the dialogue, which is quite important in my opinion. We get a set of rules from one soldier to another (their commanding officer to a rookie perhaps?):
Rule no.1: Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. (translation: Don’t do shit or else expect shit to be done to you)
Rule no.2: Every other person (…) is literal garbage. Don’t talk to them, don’t listen to them, don’t become cute friends with them.
Rule no.3: Keep your radio on, at all times.
I watched the recent episode with that set of rules in the back of my head, which made all of Temple’s speech more suspicious. All this plot with fighting UNSC and drawing out the real Reds and Blues? They paint it as a logical story: but it’s not. If the fakes knew about PF, why didn’t they just move on after it ended? Why didn’t they come forward after the article Dylan wrote about taking down the Director? Why didn’t they try to contact the other earlier? Why are they almost exact replicas of each other (minus Grif and Kai)? It’s easy to see that the Blues and Reds want our gang to trust them – so they tell a good story, fight alongside each other and take shelter together. It breaks rule no. 2 and plays into rule no. 1 almost immediately. We’ll see if they will have any sort of contact with Wash and Carolina under that water.
And where the hell are the counterparts to Grif, Kai and Doc? Hell, where is Doc?!
Taking all that into account there are 2 possible outcomes:
1. They’re telling the truth. Yeah, those are really sim-troopers, created to resemble the real Reds and Blues, but instead of being a band of idiots and jerks, they were trained like Agents, so if the time came, they would be able to take them down. If the real Reds and Blues were able to fight Tex and Wyoming and win against them PF had to see their potential. PF wanted better soldiers, capable ones, so they created the Blues and Reds. So basically this is what happened after season 5 and after our Reds and Blues were relocated to new outposts, etc. But after PF crashed, the Blues and Reds found new purpose and now they just want to fight against UNSC, who targeted them. But if this is true, they will ultimately betray the Reds and Blues – because they were the reason they got selected as sim-troopers and got into this mess in the first place. So they will get rid of them for revenge.
2. They’re the missing freelancers, trying to impersonate the Reds and Blues, because that proves to be quite efficient and successful and in the process they’ll get rid of them and take they place, taking their fame along. Or they just want to take revenge on everyone: Hargrove and the Project and the sim-troopers as well.
Neither of these scenarios is nice. But because it seems almost obvious that we’re having another betrayal arc in the making, I have the feeling that I’ll still be wrong.
#Red vs Blue#RvB#red vs blue season 15 spoilers#RvB season 15 spoilers#RvB first spoilers#Red vs Blue first spoilers#meta#the Blues and Reds#another thing I had to get off my chest#I call bullshit
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Oh, okay! I mostly wanted to hear what you thought of the Connor scenes (in PO) since they're so vital to his arc in s4. And I agree with you on Beauty and the Beasts, the way abuse victims are treated in the Buffyverse is so genuinely appalling, it's undescribable. Disrespecting them so awfully is one thing, but continuing to shove the actual abuse under the rug and show the abusers in a positive light is so gross and gives such harmful messages. Anyways - how about Redefinition? Or Lullaby?
Sorry I couldn’t offer any Connor meta re Peace Out, but I’ve written you some nice, long meta for both Redefinition and Lullaby, so hopefully this makes up for it!
Redefinition
ShortOpinion: Asomewhat erratic, but ultimately satisfying ep
LongOpinion: Redefinitionis really the final episode in the initial Darla arc (when Darla resurfaceslater, it is to set up her next arc on the show, with little to do with thisinitial storyline). I find this episode to be a bit all over the place, as itmoves between Angel preparing to take out Darla and Drusilla, to Wes, Gunn and Cordydrinking and singing at Caritas, to Darla and Drusilla’s plans for power andterror. The transitions between scenes are not as smooth as they could be, andthe episode doesn’t really feel that cohesive, instead coming across as threestorylines presented separately, with nothing really sewing them together untilthe end of the ep. That being said, the three storylines presented make forvery interesting viewing.
Angel continues down his path ofdarkness, his narration essentially confirming that he is going dark in orderto kill Darla, because he’s currently too close to her. He’s smelled her scent,felt her heartbeat, witnessed her with a soul, and now the only way he canmurder her is to access the darker parts of his personality, to cut himself offfrom all humanity so that he doesn’t feel the guilt and loss associated withkilling someone whom he loves.
What’s more interesting thanAngel’s plot and motivations is Darla’s storyline and the motivationsbehind it. After devouring the W&H lawyers, Darla and Drusilla pay a visitto Lindsey and Lilah at their offices, in a darkly amusing scene. They informLindsey and Lilah that the two of them have been spared so that Darla and Druhave a liaison to the Senior Partners, a access-window to the senior partners.Darla has obviously chosen Lindsey due to his easily-manipulated feelings forher, and my personal theory is that Lilah was Drusilla’s pick (Drusillaoutright states that she “likes the girl” because “she’s wicked”).
What’s interesting is Darla (andby extension Drusilla) pursuing this kind of power. Darla, much likeAngelus, has always been presented as an agent of chaos, even under theMaster’s rule. She has never much cared for organised or structured power,preferring instead to indulge in murder, blood, mayhem and terror on anuncharted scale, never much caring for ultimate power. My theory is thatDarla’s pursuit of power is once again tied to her being human so recently, notto mention W&H’s manipulations of her (again, this is seemingly confirmedwith Darla’s speech to Lilah and Lindsey about loathing being W&H’spuppet). But more than W&H using her, Darla hated being helpless full stop.Having memories of being so recently human, remembering the feeling of havingto rely on others, of being dependent and weak (physically and emotionally) iswhat pushes Darla in this new pursuit of power. Just as she tries to ridherself of the remnants of emotion she has left towards Angel, Darla is alsotrying to rid herself of any and all perceived weakness, making sure thateveryone in her way knows that she is no longer that same helpless creature whoneeded Angel to rescue her.
That being said, it is clearlyshown that Angel is still on her mind and in her heart, more so than henormally would be, again because she has so recently been human. Darla was avampire for four hundred years, she pretty much forgot what it was liketo be human, to have a soul, to be vulnerable and to care for someonewith real, true, deep emotions. Now, being a newly born vampire so close tothese emotions, completely throws her off her game. She can remember caring forAngel in a way she never did without a soul. The remnants of her feelings forhim are still within her being, and when he appears in the crowd and Drusillasenses him, Darla’s feelings for him come rushing to the surface, and sheclearly falters, confused and disoriented by the leftover emotions from hersoul.
The climax of this episode feelslike it was supposed to set up a new storyline, but didn’t. Angel sets Darlaand Drusilla on fire (in a fairly horrifying scene, Drusilla’s cries for helpare particularly jarring) and as Darla sits on the sidewalk in the aftermath,she says “That wasn’t Angelus. That wasn’t Angel either. Who was that?” whichto me indicated that maybe the writers were intending to explore this darknessto Angel further than they did, but abandoned that storyline in favour ofsending Angel after W&H.
The B storyline to this episodedoesn’t quite mesh well with the A storyline, but does provide most of thehumour, as well as a turning point for the other three main characters. Despondentand unsure of their futures in the wake of Angel firing them, Cordy, Wes andGunn find themselves at Caritas, searching for direction. Cordy and Wes’ appearanceat Caritas is hardly a surprise, both are characters who have found their pathsand stuck to them, so the sudden upheaval in their lives would naturally leavethem quite disoriented and searching for guidance. Gunn, however, is a bit of asurprise, as up until this point he had kept himself apart from AngelInvestigations, unclear as to his path. This episode shows that he’s obviouslybeen thinking more about his future and that he’s searching for somewhere to belong(and probably has been since Allana’s death). This episode, this arc really, isa turning point for Gunn, as he transitions from an outsider on the fringes ofAI, to a fully-fledged member whom Wes would take a bullet for.
The scenes with Cordy, Wes andGunn getting drunk and passing the blame around are hilarious and fullof classic lines (“My ass is not pansy!”) and of course there is that gloriousrendition of We Are The Champions. But beyond this, Redefinition marks newdirection for all three characters, as Cordelia gets a vision and, withoutAngel’s help, they take down a demon and save an innocent girl. This episodeproves to the three that they can and should continue on without Angel, andtheir friendship is bonded through this and the subsequent episodes where theyestablish their new business and grow closer in Angel’s absence.
As said before, Redefinition is asomewhat shaky episode, with the scenes not really flowing all that well andthe storylines feeling separate instead of interconnected, but it does containsome great meta and some terrific characterisation. Ultimately, despite its’messiness, Redefinition is an entertaining and endearing episode, whichsatisfies the viewer and closes the first part of Darla’s arc nicely.
Lullaby
Shortopinion: PoorDarla.
Longopinion: Lullabyis one of my favourite AtS episodes, bringing Darla’s character arc tocompletion and opening up Holtz’ revenge storyline nicely. This episode ischock-full of emotional moments which I love, but I also find myselfincreasingly angry every time I watch this episode, due to everything Darlaendures, and the way her agency is taken away via her mystical pregnancy.
Darla’s pregnancy is, quitefrankly, horrifying. First, there’s the fact that it’s not something she everwanted. Then there’s the fact that once she realises that she’s pregnant,she is unable to get rid of it. Darla mentions trying everything to terminatethe pregnancy, to which Fred reacts with mild horror, but it’s understandablethat Darla would do everything in her power to avoid carrying and birthing ababy she never asked for. The fact that mystical forces are literallypreventing her from aborting or killing the baby is actually quite horrifying,as Darla is forced to endure nine months of hell, her body changing andundergoing a physical toll which as a vampire she can withstand, but as a womanshe never wanted (I feel like there’s some sort of anti-abortion allegory goingon here).
As if this wasn’t bad enough,Darla is then forced to experience feelings and emotions she, once again, neverasked for and was not prepared for. As sweet as the scene with Angel on theroof is, with Darla talking about how much she loves her unborn child, it’sactually somewhat a case of fridge horror, given that these feelings aren’t hers.She doesn’t love her child because she’s bonded with it, or fallen in love overthe course of her pregnancy, or had a sudden realisation of love. She lovesConnor because she’s being forced to, through the soul which resideswithin her. Darla even acknowledges this, as she heartbreakingly cries abouthow she doesn’t want to birth Connor, because it will mean that the soul willbe gone and she will no longer love him once that happens. Darla is not onlyforced to carry a pregnancy she never wanted, she is forced to shoulder andfeel emotions that are not actually hers. Her mind, as well as her body, isinvaded and violated by this pregnancy.
Darla’s pregnancy was the secondof a mystical nature on the show, and when watching the first time around, doesnot come across as a fridged woman trope, due to the fact that Darla stakingherself to save Connor plays out as a natural conclusion to her arc. Watchingit in retrospect and with the deaths or Fred and Cordy in mind, it actually comesacross as horrifying, violating and the first of many fridged women on AtS.Despite it being my favourite show, I truly hate the way AtS treats its’ femalecharacters, and Darla was the first one thrown under a bus. She, as with everyfemale on this show, deserved better.
Ignoring these unfortunateimplications, Lullaby is a great episode. Angel finally comes face-to-face withHoltz, discovering who’s been chasing him for the past few episodes. I havealways loved Angel’s attitude regarding Holtz – he never begrudges him for hispursuit of revenge, never blames Holtz and fully acknowledges that Holtz isdeserving of his vengeance (compare this with Spike’s self-righteous and grossattitude towards Wood in Lies My Parents Told Me). Darla too, courtesy of Connor’ssoul, realises that Holtz has a right to his revenge, that what they did to himwas too terrible to ever atone for. The flashbacks showing the horror thatAngelus and Darla put Holtz through only compounds this.
Of course the most heartbreakingand beautiful part of this episode is Connor’s birth, as Darla tearfully tellsAngel that they can’t atone for their horrifying crimes, can’t make up foranything they did, but that through Connor they might have finally donesomething right. Angel’s tenderness towards Darla in this scene is sobittersweet to watch, as he kisses her fingers with more affection than he’sprobably ever shown her before. Her eventual staking and Connor’s appearancewas a heart wrenching twist, and the final shot of Holtz ominously watchingAngel walk away with baby Connor in his arms promises more to come, leavingthis episode with a shadow hanging over it. All up, just a beautiful
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