#before anyone calls me bias as well I actually played both games as the male choices too

[italeean]

Italeean how are you doin? Hihihi It's been awhile VERY HAPPY FOR YOU TO REACH THAT MILESTONE, AWESOME! I wanted to join the event~ I'll pick free! as the fandom (because in other fandoms like haikyuu/MHA/genshin, I already have certain stan/bias so I'm not mentally ready for a random match, but for Free! It's a new fandom for me so just ship me with anyone lol) I'm a male! lee (not into foot tickles tho), platonic, matched with other male, and about me: I'm not really athletic tbh, and often times kinda awkward, for hobbies probably just chilling, having conversations, hanging out, hmm what else *scrolling through tumblr in secret* jk. Anyway have a nice day as always, can't wait to be matched lol, your pick will probably be my bias in this fandom so choose w i s e l y~ hohoho (just kidding) - itto anon :)

ITTO ANON MY LOVE /p 😻❤️❤️ How're you doing? It's literally so nice to see you participate in each and every one of my events and interact with me since practically day 0 🥹 I hope you'll enjoy your match-up... and thank you for choosing Free! ❤️❤️ It's always a pleasure to write for my favorite anime ❤️🍡 *enjoy this dango while reading my little work*

🔮 For this event, your match-up is... NAGISA

🔮 Why did I choose him for you?

Okay who wouldn't want to be Nagisa's friend? He's a little ball of sunshine who has a nice word for everyone! I feel like a nice person like you deserves this sweetheart in his life

I'm sure he'd love your awkwardness... he'd find it super cute! Expect to get teased by him, intentionally or not

He totally would drag you to the swim club even if you're not particularly athletic. He'd bring you there just to introduce to his friends so you all can hang out together

About this... he'd be the kind of guy who shows off your laughter! He'd be like "Hey guys, listen to this!" and he'd start tickling you.

BUT... he'd go around and wreck everyone, so you wouldn't be the only one to get tickled in front of the others... this would probably lead to huge tickle fights!

He'd love to play genshin or any other games with you! I'm sure he'd want to play all the cutest characters, and you'd get all the tall men (ahem like Zhongli and Itto ahem-)

Every time you pull for a character, he'll tickle you as a ritual for good luck... and if it fails, he'll tickle you even more to cheer you up hehe~

He's a very considerate person, based on what I saw (and I watched every episode and movie of Free! so...), which means he's a great person to talk to. You could just spend the afternoon talking to each other

I think your usual hangout could be either taking a stroll while Nagisa munches on that sickeningly sweet bread, or staying home while eating candy, watching anime, playing games and just chilling and talking

I feel like he'd randomly tickle you while you hang out. Why? Because he finds your laughter super cute and he wants to hear more

I think you could help Nagisa with his studies, along with Rei... which would probably not be the easiest task, but it would always end up with sweets and talking when the hard task is done

Imagine this: you, Nagisa and the others wearing your yukatas at a summer festival, going around the stands to play games, eat delicious foods and have a great time... yours would be such a great friendship!!!

🔮 Tickle scenario

"Y/n-chaaan!" Nagisa called for you, "Come on, the water is amazing!!" He gestured you to go with him and the others for a swim. The day before, they found out that the pool was closed due to a malfunctioning of the filter, so they chose to swim in the ocean to not skip training.

Luckily, it was a Saturday, so they managed to have an actual beach day. However, Nagisa insisted to invite both you and Rin as well and spend the day with all the whole group. Rin immediately said yes at the thought of racing with Haru in the ocean, and you accepted gladly. The team had already met you and everyone was quite fond of you already.

During the training, you held the stopwatch and took their timings, and you were also the judge of Haru and Rin's race, which resulted in the umpteenth tie, but when swimming practice was over, the six of you took a quick rest and enjoyed the amazing beach.

The guys became restless quickly, though, and they couldn't resist the sweet call of the waves. In the blink of an eye, everyone was running towards the welcoming ocean again. You smiled at the sight and kept focusing on which artifacts you wanted to give to Itto... at least until Nagisa called for you.

"Umm... you can go on without me, I'm fine here!" You reassured your friend, but unfortunately for you, he wasn't having it. "Nuh uh! Nope nope nope!" He pouted, looking like an angry penguin, "You're gonna enjoy the beach, and we'll play genshin another day!" He decided with an unexpectedly authoritative tone.

You looked up to see the blonde towering over you (yes, he was towering over you despite his short stature because you were sitting on your beach towel and he was standing) and before you knew it, he had your phone between his hands. He quickly turned it off and pulled you up, surprising you with his actual strength despite his tiny figure.

"Nagisaaa" You whined, not actually minding being dragged to take a swim, "Let me go..! The water will surely be cold!" You tried to find an excuse. "The water is perfect, nice try y/n-chan~" The blonde quickly retorted, leaving you no escape.

Despite your complaints and struggles, you found yourself in the water with the others, and even if the water was cold, you were having fun. "See? I told you, the water is great!" Nagisa exclaimed while sticking out his tongue at you. He was right, but you didn't want to admit it, "Hmm... I still feel cold, the water clearly isn't warm enough!" You huffed with an exaggerated snobbish tone, just to let the blonde know that you were joking.

"Don't worry, y/n-chan, I know how to warm you up... it always works with Rei-chan!" You were a little confused, but an idea insinuated in your brain when you saw Rei blush like a tomato, as if he knew what he was talking about, and you let out a nervous giggle.

Your suspicions were confirmed when you noticed ten wiggling fingers approaching you. "No, y-you stay away from me..!" You tried to keep him at a safe distance, with scarce results, and you even tried to swim away from him. But to be honest, what were you even thinking? He caught up to you in mere seconds and trapped you in a hug.

It was adorable to Nagisa how your defenses crumbled as soon as his fingers landed on your sides. "KYAAAHAHAHA NAHAHAGISAHAHA WAHAHAIT!!" You kicked and squirmed like a fish out of water, even if you were actually in the sea, "THIHIHIS IHIHIS NAHAHAHAHAT FAHAHAIHIHIR!!!" You complained, but your squeals fell on deaf ears.

"But if you laugh and move, you'll warm yourself up!" The blonde teased while he started counting your ribs and walking his way towards your armpits. "NAHAHAGISAHAHAHAHAAA" You screeched when two fingers started circling the hollow of your underarms, slowly making their way towards the center.

"Y/n-chahahahan~" He playfully mocked you while he finally started digging in the very center of your poor armpits. In mere seconds, your face and even your ears were completely red and you had the biggest smile on your face. That's when Nagisa decided to stop, giving you time to breathe.

"Are you okay?" Makoto approached you while you recovered, "This is typical Nagisa behavior, no one has ever been able to escape him hehe" He let out an embarrassed chuckle, trying to make you feel less flustered. "Well... Nagisa should get a taste of his own medicine so he learns a lesson..." You let out a snarky grumble, always with that amused undertone that made everyone understand that you were enjoying yourself.

"Geez... you're still so salty, y/n-chan... I guess I didn't tickle you long enough..." the magenta-eyed guy stated before swimming towards you pretending to be a shark.

"Nononono Nagisa wa-WAHAHAHAHAIT!!!"

#350/400 followers event #milestone event #tickle matchup event #free iwatobi swim club tickle #free tickle #free isc tickle #ler!nagisa #lee!reader #ticklish!reader

[bisexualmisthios]

The way I’ve seen gamer boys complaining about both female eivor and kassandras voices saying that Eivor sounds like she smokes 3 packs a day and kassandra sounds too bitchy but fail to mention how both male Eivor and alexios both completely lack any emotion or depth or personality in any of their dialogue and also don’t care to even realise the reason female Eivor sounds like she “smokes 3 packs a day” and male Eivor doesn’t (imo rlly shitty choices on the voice actors part like literally Eivors whole throat was ripped by a wolf why would you not think hmmm maybe eivors voice might be a bit fucked up after that???) and don’t think about maybe the reason kassandra sounds bitchy is bc she has to put up with stupid men who undermine her constantly, a cult that is on her ass 24/7 that she has to deal with all on her own, an annoying old man that can’t stop thinking of ridiculous schemes and sends her off to do mercenary work and almost gets her killed daily, her lack of family AND childhood trauma! Melissanthi Mahut and Cecilie Stenspil did an absolutely amazing job and gave their characters so much personality with just their voices and really used their characters traits and backstory to their advantage, I unfortunately cannot say the same for the men that voiced male Eivor and alexios but of course game bros don’t care about that bc they are stupid and all they think about is tits no wonder none of u can get any pussy go cry

#ac odyssey #ac valhalla #eivor wolfkissed #kassandra #gaming #rant #I honestly just hate men why don’t any of you use your brains #before anyone calls me bias as well I actually played both games as the male choices too #and I do not feel this way about any other male ac characters except maybe Sigurd

[leejeongz]

jealous cravity

📌omg thank u for the compliment 😭 i hope u like this! also i’m sorry for any repeats of gifs from other reactions!📌

serim:

while waiting for serim to finish his game, you decided to watch some videos on youtube to kill time. the first video on your suggested was an allen fancam and being the supportive cravity fan that you are, you put it on. serim could just hear the song and he smiled secretly while facing his PC, he was so happy you liked their music. he stopped his game early just to come and cuddle you for being so cute since you were watching their stuff when he realised what you were actually watching. he pulled back from the hug he was about to give you and sat for a second, contemplating his next move. he wasn’t sure if being jealous was justified right now, but he was. he pouted visibly, rolling over to not face you on his bed and so you asked him what was wrong.

“that’s an allen fancam” he stared as if you didn’t know. “but i’m your boyfriend, you should only focus on me”. he was acting so childish you didn’t even know if he meant it, and to be honest neither did he.

you stopped the video and went to your history, where lots of serim fancams sat. you flung your arm around his chest and showed him your phone with all the videos of him on it, laughing into his ear. “see, idiot, i do watch your stuff” you kissed his cheek “and anyway, why would i watch you when you’re sat right in front of me?”

allen:

“last night, i had a really weird dream” you said while sitting opposite your boyfriend allen. he looked up from his breakfast and indicated for you to tell him what happened.

“well there were these weird robots around and it was terrifying” your hands were flying around everywhere as you got deeper into the story. “but luckily, jungmo was there and he saved me” you smiled and finally put a spoonful of cereal into your mouth, suggesting that you had finished.

“that’s cool,” allen said, no emotion in his voice. he went back to eating in silence. a few minutes passed before he looked up at you again. “why wasn’t i there to save you?” he pouted a little.

you thought for a bit, you weren’t really sure why. he went back to his silent eating, knowing that you had no valid answer. he couldn’t help but be jealous at that time, why wasn’t he the good guy in your dream, why did it have to be jungmo?

later that morning he realised how childish and silly it was for him to get jealous and the silent treatment finally came to an end. he found you wherever you were and kissed you on the cheek, following it up with a sincere apology for his reaction.

jungmo:

he knew you had a soft spot for seongmin, he did too, that wasn’t a secret either. you were spending this halloween with jungmo and his friends. usually you spent it with your younger siblings yet they felt “too old” to go out trick or treating yet “too young” to go to parties. the boys decided to have a small party, with you and some of their close friends invited. you were already changed in your cute carrot costume (that matched with jungmo’s pea costume) when you arrived, greeted at the door by seongmin, who was also in his costume, of course it was a bunny. it took way too long for the pair of you to realise the connection between your costumes but when you did, you pair wouldn’t shut up about it.

“jungmo, look, a bunny and a carrot!!” seongmin exclaimed, excitement clear in his voice.

“aha cute” he said with a gentle smile. he didn’t want to ruin your excitement so he chose to somewhat play along. you expected him to find it funnier and so you questioned him about it when you were alone later that evening.

“what was that all about?” you asked to which he looked at you in bewilderment “aha cute” you mimicked him.

“your costume goes with mine not his” he said sternly “what was the point in us two matching if you’re just going around telling people you pair have the matching outfits? i’m in a pea costume for goodness sake, you think i wanted to be a pea?” he seemed really worked up about it but looking at his reflection in the mirror of his room made him laugh which was a relieving sight for you.

“please stop telling people about your matching costumes, i wanna make this ridiculous look worthwhile” he pleaded, less angrily this time.

woobin:

you were absolutely drenched from an impromptu water fight that lasted pretty much the whole evening. since you didn’t bring any spare clothes with you, woobin said you could grab his t-shirt from the drying rack back at the dorms. when you and your boyfriend got there, he went to his room to give you some privacy while you changed. when you told him you were decent, he came out and saw you stood there in a massive oversized pink t-shirt, minhee’s massive oversized pink t-shirt.

“do you like it, i think it suits me,” you said jokingly while modelling it for your boyfriend. his face said absolutely not, not the reaction you expected to be honest.

“i’m not sure. i don’t think that shirt is for you.” he said without thinking. “can you change? i’m a little uncomfortable''. you had no idea what he was talking about, you thought maybe you stepped out of line. he went back to his room while you changed, putting on a hoodie that you knew was his. meanwhile, what he'd just said hit woobin like a tonne of bricks. he rushed back out (luckily you were dressed enough) “i was uncomfortable because it was minhee’s, not because you didn’t look good. my jealousy took over my mouth, i’m sorry!!” he stopped and looked you up and down “although you do look better in my clothes” he confessed.

wonjin:

“can i get my cardigan back? i forgot about my interview today” you text him. “sure, it’s in my room on my bed” he replied almost immediately. he was practicing while some of the others slept but you had a key anyway. you let yourself in and went to his room, knocking and entering hoping not to disturb his roommates if they were in there. you began searching through the thousands of clothes wonjin had thrown all over his bed, getting startled when woobin came in. “can i help you, y/n?” he inquired, standing at the doorway. you told him about your cardigan and he began to look with you, although you weren’t really looking, too busy laughing with each other. you never really knew how funny woobin was given that the only time you saw him was at the dorms, and then he was always busy, but he made you laugh until your sides hurt this particular morning. you finally found the cardigan about 10 minutes later, and tidied the room together like the good people you are.

the front door to the dorms shut and you heard around 4 of the boys scurrying around to get some water. you and woobin both stepped out of the room to see what the kerfuffle was when you saw wonjin looking a little down. you went over and discreetly asked him what's wrong.

“i made them leave early and rush over here so i could help you look. i didn’t realise you already had assistance” he pointed at woobin who was oblivious to what was going on. “i wanted to help you look. not anyone else” a big pout was present on his face.

minhee:

“y/n~” minhee started. you knew when he started a sentence with your name that the question was going to be one that he wanted a specific answer to. “who was your first bias in cravity?” he asked expectedly. you sat and thought for a while. you didn’t know whether to tell him the truth or tease him for a bit. you opted for the latter because why not!?

“serim” you said confidently. he looked around to see if serim was anywhere nearby before going on to jokingly insult him.

“that guy? the guy who’s like 4cm tall? you must be joking me right?” he started to argue. he didn’t pick up on your teasing and started to get quite defensive. “you know i was in cravity from day 1 right? your boyfriend? do you remember me? i was almost the leader, you know?”

as much as he tried to continue with a joking tone, he was actually a little hurt inside, and he didn’t really hide it well. he’d stutter every once in a while and his impulsive way of talking was unusual for him. you knew you should put him out of his misery right away.

“i’m joking. it was actually you!” you hit his arm while saying so.

if looks could kill you’d have been out cold in that moment. “i really thought your favourite was serim for a second then, not that i was sad or close to tears or anything, i’m not bothered, but, wow you really did that to me?”

hyeongjun:

”who’s that?” hyeongjun asked while you scrolled through your saved posts on instagram, trying to find the meme you wanted to show him.

you scrolled back up to locate the picture he was talking about. “it’s taeyoung, he literally posted this yesterday” you clarified, tapping it to show him.

he looked at you with his puppy eyes and stuck his bottom lip out “why have you saved a photo of him?”

“uhh” you didn’t want to tell him the truth and expose taeyoung but you felt like you had to at the time “he wanted me to subtly show my friend because he really likes them and he wants them to think he’s cute… i guess” you answered honestly.

hyeongjun let out a huge sigh of relief, he didn’t fully take in what you said but he knew you didn’t save it because you thought he was cute. he never knew he could get so jealous before now, but there was something about seeing another boy in your saved pictures that he just really did not like.

“i really want them to get together to be honest, i think they would look good together, don’t you?” you showed him a photo of your friend who he’d met on multiple occasions.

“huh?” he asked in bewilderment, he really wasn’t listening to your explanation...

taeyoung:

you were sat drawing at your desk in your room while your boyfriend, taeyoung, sat and played his game on your bed. your incoming call did not gain his attention yet the familiar male voice did once you’d answered it.

“who?” he asked quietly, trying to not interrupt your call.

“wonjin” you whispered back to him.

he relaxed himself back onto the bed, yet he was anything but relaxed. what did wonjin want? why didn’t he just call him, he knew you were together. his face didn’t hide his jealousy either, even when you put the phone down.

“what is it” you asked, noticing his disgruntled face.

“why did he call you?” he asked, “seems a little secretive to me” he jumped straight to conclusions. he sat up once again, waiting for an answer.

“it’s not like that and you know it,” you said in response to his outrageous accusation. “if you’re going to be like that, why don’t you just leave” you said in an even pettier tone than his.

“i don’t want to leave” by now, the argument had clearly turned into a joke as his initial jealousy had disappeared.

“good” you said in a sarcastically stern voice.

“good” he replied in the same manner, putting his game away and opening his arms for you to hug him.

(there’s about 4 gifs of him on this whole site omg 😭)

seongmin:

the boys and some trainees were all sitting in a circle when you arrived with some take out food. there was a clear space between hyeongjun and his friend so you sat there after placing the food in the middle of the circle. seongmin felt a little hurt but he understood why you did that, despite his efforts to force the others to make space for you in your absence. what didn’t sit right however was when he looked up and saw hyeongjun feeding you a piece of food. he attempted to stay quiet, which was successful for about 3 seconds.

“hey” he shouted over to you pair while trying not to cause a scene “what are you doing?” he questioned. he was a little mad, but he still sounded cute.

“y/n wanted a try of my food but i knew they’d take it all without me feeding it to them” hyeongjun jokes. “pig” he said in an unmistakably sarcastic tone while looking at you.

seongmin appreciated the sarcastic comment yet didn’t appreciate the clear flirting hyeongjun was doing. “y/n, you can sit here, jungmo will move, won’t you?” his eyes burning into jungmo’s soul.

you couldn’t not go and sit next to him and he spent the rest of the evening giving hyeongjun the evils.

gifs aren’t mine

#cravity #cravity reactions #cravity imagines #serim #allen #jungmo #woobin #wonjin #minhee #hyeongjun #taeyoung #seongmin

[flash-impact-for-good]

“You’ve come a long way, baby”

This slogan, “You’ve come a long way, baby”, was splashed across the glossy magazines of my youth, vaunting women’s progress – via their rights to consume products that had once been reserved for men only. The issue of women’s progress in the business world is another debate entirely: the proverbial glass sometimes seems to be filling gradually (e.g. , according to the French secretary of state in charge of equality between men and women, women held 45,2% of positions on SBF120 management boards in 2019); but the glass moves slowly at the top (21,4% of positions in Exco or equivalent). And these broad numbers hide huge disparities. As mentioned by Guy Le Pechon, MBA INSEAD 69, head of Gouvernance et Structure, and a data specialist on equality between men and women, three corporations among the CAC 40 don’t have any woman at their Exco; and only one reaches the ratio of 40% for this entity.

Yet forward movement is undeniable. I would like to offer here a random walk through some 15 years of experience designing, delivering, and observing initiatives to strengthen the representation of women in companies. Along the way, the useful question I hope to explore is what we have learned about fostering gender balance, and how these insights may help us move further down the road towards greater gender balance. 

When several large French companies signed the “Charte de la Diversité” in 2004, our Head of Human Resources asked me to develop a program that would support women’s career development in the organization. I looked at the market to see what was available and was struck by the way that many training firms seemed to assume that women had to be “fixed”, taught to overcome “weaknesses”, or trained in more masculine behavior. This did not feel right – how could we “strengthen” our pools of female talent by focusing on what women might be “doing wrong”? We chose instead to tackle the issue indirectly: I set up a training program led by a specialist in career management for high potentials – a brilliant older man. “Female issues” were never addressed directly in the program – it just so happened that all the (very interesting and carefully selected) participants in each session were women. (What we didn’t know then was that in this way successfully avoided triggering a dangerous unconscious bias about women’s competence, sending instead the message that anyone, and of course women, could benefit from enhancing their career management skills). My first learning: don’t “fix” people who aren’t “broken” – build their strengths. 

Interestingly, it was a member of what one could call the “old guard” – a highly successful gentleman in a very powerful job – who made another significant contribution to levelling the playing field. “We have lots of women entering the pipeline,” he told me, “but after a first role, the men all ask to lead a sales team, while the women want to move into marketing – jobs do not give them line management responsibility and credibility.” To counter this, he carefully mapped and measured something which had previously been intuitive: what were the key career steps that opened the way up the corporate ladder, and where relative to those steps were the pools of female talent? The corporate “ladder” actually looked more like a vertical maze; often several steps along a same level were necessary before one could climb to the next rung on the ladder. But like any maze, it was easy to get lost. Second learning: By providing clear experienced-based information about the critical steps on any given level, this gentleman basically “injected information” into the career management process – not to tell women what to do with their careers, but to offer more effective advice, starting early on. 

Driving for more women in management eventually began to provoke some pushback: some male colleagues would quietly ask me, “Do I have a future in this organization? Will there always be a woman ahead of me on the promotion list?” Hearing men share such concerns troubled me: if you are promoting a worthy idea and yet generating a sense of unfairness, then the idea needs to be reviewed – not rejected or reduced in ambition, but re-examined. This is when we clearly understood that we had to change not only the way that women looked at themselves in the organization, but also how the organization looked at its people. 

A conversation at a conference on diversity with a woman who held a very senior position in her organization gave me additional insight. Asked about her success, she pointed to the “pairs of eyes” that had watched her work over the years and could vouch for her. It was as though her capabilities had to be cross-checked – which was of course equally true for her male colleagues, who intuitively moved around and got themselves “seen” by several potential sponsors. Long before “sponsorship” became a popular concept, she had realized that it was easier for one person to say, “She is ready for the next job!” if someone else could back up the statement. 

Waiting for this to happen through multiple-year job rotations, we realized, would take much too long. Then I encountered a talent manager in a small financial services organization who had crafted a clever process to respond to precisely this issue: he organized “walkabouts” for talented individuals, setting up a series of meetings for each with high-level executives who might never meet that young woman (or man) until it came time to make a key staffing decision – which was too late. By putting rising potentials in front of senior management, this talent manager was transforming them from names on a CV to real humans whom the senior executives could get to know. Again, this practice plays to our human nature – no amount of data on a page can replace the power of what we learn from interacting with someone. This learning could be called, “you have to be seen to be believed”. 

Despite the value of all these approaches, these actions remain focused on shifting individual mindsets. At some point, on a topic as complex as gender balance, institutions, not just individuals, need to change. And I still did not have the answer to my vague discomfort, my concern that some people felt our efforts to level the playing field were potentially unfair. 

Interestingly, it was ideas from INSEAD research, adopted into our organization, that gave us some of the keys. Most INSEADers are familiar with Kim and Mauborgne’s work on “fair process” – the concept that a fair, well-run decision-making process will lead to better acceptance of the outcome, even by those who do not obtain what they want. This work made its way into our organization: the “fair process”, in which all the voices relevant to a decision were heard and considered before that decision was made, became institutionalized as an essential feature of our people management. A fundamental part of the fair process is feedback: because it embraces the full variety of perspectives on a topic or a person, the process makes it possible to provide feedback to the person, so that the individual can continue to learn and grow. Next learning: good process and good feedback confirm that both your intentions and your decisions are fair. 

In 2018, INSEAD celebrated 50 years of women at the school and hosted a Summit to showcase research from its Gender Initiative. One presentation by Ivana Naumovska, Assistant Professor of Entrepreneurship, particularly caught my attention. She had performed meta-analysis of multiple diversity initiatives across companies and sectors and had teased out lessons about what did and did not work. 

The two areas identified as having greatest positive impact were mentoring programs and network-building initiatives: mentoring because it enabled the participants to understand the rules of the game, how their organization really worked (this was true for both mentees and their mentors), and network-building because it cultivated awareness in the individuals of what opportunities – for jobs, projects, useful partnerships, and even just information sharing – were available across their organizations, especially outside their silos. I was pleased to see these conclusions: they were an academic validation of the intuition which had led us to set up mentoring and networking for communities (not just individuals). In other words, by creating groups of mentors or mentees and getting them to coach each other on how to take up these roles, we let people see that this was simply part of “how we do things around here”. Next lesson: if you want to change institutions, not just individuals, give people shared responsibility to build something new together. 

Beyond creating “institutions” that support diversity, what has emerged over time is a culture shift. In the way we pursue gender balance, we are really striving to make good use of the organization’s talent to adapt to changing organizational needs. There are ongoing challenges: how well do all these changes resist a major economic crisis, or a corporate reorganization? As we move out of a public health crisis and towards a difficult economic situation, we need to remain vigilant about topics like diversity. Looking further ahead, I wonder how the “recipes” described above will stand the test of time. Traditional management is being replaced by agile tribes, collectively-managed feature teams, and networked organizations. Millennials have shifting expectations about the meaning of work. What will be the secrets to career success for women (and men) in the organizations of the future? Time will tell, but it is a safe bet that attention to individual mindsets and corporate culture will remain key.  

Jocelyn Phelps, MBA INSEAD 93D Program Director, Leadership and Organization Development at Société Générale

#INSEAD #INSEADFORGOOD #BusinessForGood #WomenInBusiness

[survivor-mesopotamia]

Ep. #1 - “hail santa that is all.” (Chrissa)

Nothing much really so far. We got into tribes so far everyone seems cool ans all so can't wait to see what happens from here.

Opening thoughts: I'm very much downplaying my knowledge, making it seem like I care most about challenges, know nothing about how online Survivor works (I played and hosted one) and not a massive amount about the actual show either, asking a lot of questions. Trying to find people with the most similar personalities and let others propose any alliances.

boy am i overwhelmed

Day 1; So I'm sitting here, eating dinner, a salad with garlic bread and a mike's hard pineapple strawberry lemonade, and I decide to do a confessional! Lets talk about my tribe, first and foremost. We're the "Second Chances" tribe. Fitting, we're all FLOPS. Imma do this in the order we were REVEALED to the world. Because that's cute, right? We're basically the beauty tribe bc everyone is lowkey real scrumptious lookin. Eric; Before this game, Eric and I bonded in the Ahkmim VL about how we never get cast for tumblr survivor, and how we're waiting for redemption, and I'd feel bad leaving him as the first boot. So hopefully he'd also feel bad, and wanna talk to me. I don't think the two of us have much in common yet, he's into anime, and reading, which is like, two things I'm not really down for, but I'm definitely gonna give Spirited Away a try sometime soon so I can talk to him about it. I kinda wanna ask if the red in his hair is naturally like.. blood red. But maybe that's the lighting in the room, or maybe he died it even MORE ginger, because I often hear to him referred to as GINGER Eric, but also i don't wanna have an awkward "No, this is just like.. normal ginger" conversation. Megan; Ohhhh Megan.. my girl Megan. We've had a rocky road in our friendship, and I wish I was just talking about ice cream. Something about her though just makes me have infinite patience for the things the two of us deal with, I can't help but just want to be with her all the time. I scouted her out from FaceBook to play my Whodunnit, and we've been extremely close ever since, our game relationship has been rocky enough for me to worry slightly about her, but all I can do is trust her, and build good enough relationships with other people that if she tried to fuck me over, I would know, and strike first. Its still unclear to this day whether she had a hand in my elimination in a Big Brother game we played, 1984. What is crystal clear, is that we cried together while she cast her vote to evict me. I love her, won't never stop lovin her. I'm hoping this can be OUR season to dominate, because I feel like we're almost evenly matched when it comes to a jury vote. Will; "Whoop-de-do" iconic king of not getting his haircut. Uhh.. idk what all to say, because before the game, I knew nothing of this man. However, Monty said something about him being alive and on Skype, and my mind immediately goes to "Is he hot?" and I check his profile, and publicly announce that he's hot. Which isn't FALSE, but then we both get revealed for the game, and put on the same tribe. So now we're vibing, and relating on the fact that tumblr players hate us, and we've deemed each other, "Heather". He's currently petitioning to call our tribe "The Heathers" instead of Enlil. We get on really well, and he's pretty damn cute. Also, he goes to bed SO early, I hope we get enough time to talk and get close on this tribe. Julian; Well. This is a lot to unpack, but I found out he was playing about 3 days before the game, and since that point. He's gotten unnecessarily aggressive with me, and a couple others over non-tumblr related matters. Julian and I have a rocky history, between me being recruited, and auto-casted for his ORG, Trinity Survivor, his ex-co-host/current-best friend berating me, and deleting messages to make me look bad. To Julian throwing passive aggressive low-blows about my social ineptitude in my face if I'm angry about something, to us making final 3 together in minis. Overall, I'm constantly at odds about how I perceive our relationship, I want to be able to assume the best of him, and say that I'm good in his book, no matter what happens. I think a lot of the time, our friend group isn't the most mature, and it is really difficult to have an adult conversation with someone from within that friend group, without someone else having an opinion to share on it, so I've heard things that he's said about me, that I'm not necessarily sure if its true or not, but I try my best to hold a strong, level head and smile whenever I see him, but sometimes its difficult wanting to approach a conversation with someone head on, but knowing that you can't do that with him is definitely a struggle of mine. We have very different communication styles, and its difficult to see past it sometimes. For now, I'm going to be working with him, but I'm not sure how long that can last, as he admits it himself, he can only handle my personality for short periods of time. Jack; Well, Jack hasn't said a single word for the last three hours, since the game has begun. I don't WANT to have to stay up till 5-6 in the morning to try to have a conversation with him, but if that's what I gotta do, then that's what I gotta do. Chrissa; Chrissa, Todd. My LOVE. Chrissa is someone that I owe something to, she's amazing, beautiful, talented, show stopping, never before seen, etc. Our game relationship is not great, because I organized her first boot in Ascendance Season 4; Back to the Future. However, it was because she was attached to someone that kept accusing me of having powers behind my back. So, hopefully Chrissa forgives me, and gives me another chance, because I'd love to work with her. I feel like Chrissa is someone who is extremely intelligent, and loyal, and that's someone I want on my side. I love my tribe, lets win every challenge until the merge!!

Well... I’m back again... not going inactive this time! Let’s just do a quick roundup for now: JJ seems to think we’re in a showmance already which is either great or bad for my game, Megan’s a sweetheart and I could see us aligning, Eric is definitely a gamer and I have a feeling he’ll be a loyal, jack and Julian are both pretty straightforward and seem on the quieter side, and Chrissa straight up vanished already so we’ll see how that goes! Basically somebody thinks I’m their husband but I don’t know if I ever signed the prenup, but if it means JJ is gonna spill on how he feels about everyone then that’s some good insight. Nobody really wants to talk game yet but that’ll change soon!! Kk bye for now

Night 1/Morning 2: Everyone on my tribe seems extremely cool and I'm loving the way the tribes are divided. The only name I recognized on the cast was Monty's and he's on my tribe! I don't know him personally but I think he first played around when I was hosting a season. I have hit it off with Johnny the best so far I think, and definitely Isabelle as well. I seem to have a lot in common with both of them on a personal level. Strategically, I haven't locked anything down yet. I don't want to come right out and blurt "ALLIANCE?" with anyone; for right now I'm just trying to play it cool, get to know people as well as I can, and be a likeable presence in the tribe so people just wanna have me around.

I just asked Collin to talk to Adam about forming a four person alliance, which Collin will "bring" me into while Adam suggests someone. This might secure me in a four person alliance which would be ideal, but if it backfires, it will backfire on Collin, not on me. I'm trying to get myself into a majority while insulating myself from being seen as the strategic threat

First confessional before first IC

I was thrust on a good tribe we have JJ and Eric and hopefully this group of people won't make us last in competitions atleast lol maybe if we lose though hopefully i can argue why jack needs to go with his timezone but hopefully i don't have too. 

im ngl idk why i decided to play tumblr survivor again and the instant paranoia of just caring about my PLACEMENT is going to keep me up at night *shivers*

It's been a day in and so far I really like our tribe! I'm vibing with a few of them and it looks like there's been alliance formed between myself, Julian and JJ. JJ has said that he owes it to Chrissa not to vote her out if we lose, and I think he has something with Megan on the side based off what Julian has told me. That leaves Will and Jack, and I've talked with Will a ton. Tomorrow I'm gonna try and see if he wants to work with me too because I feel like to win this season, you will need to keep all your options open. 

Day 2: I got to talk to Jack last night, he was talkin about how he did some funky fresh survivor statistics on how tribe swaps affect tribe line loyalties, which I found super interesting. Then I decided to share a statistics thingy I did on how the Final 3 format doesn't produce an even ratio of male / female winners, but the Final 2 format does, and how potentially something about the final 3 format in survivor could be a factor in why we haven't had enough female winners in the last few generations of survivor. But he didn't even believe there was a female bias in survivor.. which kinda threw me off. Oh well, we ended the conversation on a good note before I went to bed. Well, the tribe seems to be getting along well, I tried to get a tribe call going, but it ended up just being me and Megan helping Chrissa with strategies to get higher scores in the challenge. She can't seem to break 100, and I feel really bad for her, I hope the rest of us can carry this competition, because I would feel like the worst human being in the world if I gave someone first boot twice in a row. Not to mention I'd consider Chrissa a friend of mine. Maybe I'm playing this game a bit too emotionally, before we even have our first tribal. What a concept.. Will and I are only getting closer and closer, we continuously refer to each other, affectionately, as "Heather". But he really lied to me today, pretty hard core. He said he was gonna order his weight in mexican food when he got off work... but he ate Thai instead...? How dare he ??? Rude. Anyways, if he's lying about that, what else could he lie to me about? Smh. Fuckboys amirite? I think that if we lose this challenge, Jack would be an easy vote off. He's in a different timezone, and his age unfortunately would make it really difficult to have a decent social game. If we lose more than once, there's one of two things that could happen.. 1.) There's a standoff between Julian, Megan and I, trying to maneuver this tribe to remove each other. Which is exactly why a friendship / showmance / whatever with Will is so important. Will would likely be the swing vote they try to get, I don't see Chrissa voting me out if I prove my loyalty at the first tribal our tribe faces. 2.) The three of us dominate the premerge portion of the game, and it becomes an impossible to maneuver situation for me at the merge, because all the connections I have outside of my own tribe, both Julian or Megan also have a hand in, with the exception of Jay, who I don't find myself falling that closely to. I feel like I might be thinking too much, too fast. I guess I just can't show the rest of my tribe that. I'm hoping my reads on the tribe are at least somewhat correct this time around. :/

Collin never ended up messaging Adam, and I was worried about falling behind the 8-ball, so I took alliance building measures into my own hands. I messaged Zach about joining up by stating that Collin had told me he also had a good conversation with Zach, and I made sure Zach didn't just feel "brought in" by asking him which person he would want to be 4 in our alliance. He suggested Cameron, which is fine by me. He hasn't officially reached out to Cameron yet, but our plan is to bring Cameron in if we end up losing, and I will probably want to vote Kyle or Grace in that scenario. Hope we don't lose though!

I don't really (or at least usually) stress about challenges and definitely not this early in the game, but some of these people are so stressed and panicky. Will (who I talked to about aligning earlier today like I had said I would in my last confessional) is stressed about not being able to beat his current high score of 199 and feels like he's on the lower end and might be eliminated. I was telling him though that this isn't necessarily about your score, but your ranking. You can get 209 or 189 and still get the same ranking. Chrissa on the other hand is totally panicking. She has an admittedly low score of 89 which she forgot to screenshot which is really rough. She same flash games aren't her thing (and I believe her) but when I tried to calm her down and say there's lots of time to improve and that we can win this, she continued to panic. There's not much I can do for her. I'm not aligned with her right now and she's just really scared to get first boot, which I don't even think will happen. JJ feels obliged not to make her first boot should the scenario present itself, and I'm aligned with him and Julian. If anyone's going home right now, it's probably Jack unless he has connections I am unaware of. I would really like to win though because I love our beauty tribe xoxo 

I managed to find the idol clue, and in telling my formed trio of Collin and Zach, Zach accidentally revealed that he had found it too. I don't think he intended to tell me, so now I am not sure if I fully trust him. I'll work with him for now, but he is going to be a big move player and I'll have to watch out for that

Forgive me father for i have sinned it's been a day since my last confession I've made some progress me and grace knowing each other well pregame means i have an instant ally coming in to help not be first.....or second out and me and Collin seem to be kinda working together I guess?? I hope not fully sure but I feel confident I'm not going if we go to tribal.

hiiii so glad to be back in the game!!!! So thankful I have the opportunity to redeem myself after my huge flop in 94, but lowkey worried about being on the An tribe? Only because it is filled with people who have done well in the past I’m not sure how to measure where I fall within them, but everyone has been very nice and seems to get along with me so far! Also it seems like there is no suspicion from them about Zach and I being siblings which is STELLAR. From looking at the cast I think the only person who knows for sure is JJ, and perhaps Megan? But thankfully they aren’t on a tribe with either of us so that might work in our favor. I’m a little nervous about this first challenge but I have one of the highest scores on my tribe atm, so I feel like if we go to tribal it might be okay. Fingers crossed hehe ;))

FUCK entanglement! FUCK IT IT IS THE WORK OF THE DEVIL hail santa that is all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBoZlL8ZWzY

Zach is playing super hard out in the open. That is good for me, he can make connections to help our alliance, and if there is ever a moment where our alliance gets exposed, he will probably be out in the forefront as a target. The flip side of that is that I might not be able to go to the end with him if he could be perceived as the leader of my alliance, so I'll need to see how the game develops

We came in second in the immunity challenge by ONE POINT. Thank the lord because our group seems very cohesive at the moment, and going to tribal would have put everyone into scramble mode. I've been bonding the closest over the first 4 days with Isabelle, and I am hoping it can lead to a strong game relationship. Right now, we seem to be very social with one another and we have gone as far as to say we wouldn't vote for one another, but I'm still sort of waiting for that defining confirmation (as much as you can get that in Survivor). After that, I'd say I've been pretty chatty with Johnny and Monty equally (but I think I have a slightly tighter personal bond so far with Johnny). Abrielle I talked to more so over the first couple of days but I would say between her, Jay and Madison those are the ones I've made the least connection with. They all seem like good people, just haven't had as much traction chatting with them. I don't want us to go to tribal for as long as we can help it, because for me the best case scenario heading into a swap would be if our tribe had the numbers advantage and some sort of tribe-wide unity going into it. I feel like that way I could be in a good spot but also not in the forefront of the tribe alliance (I'd hope that would sort of fall on Monty or Johnny maybe because of their Tumblr Survivor experience). For now though, just continuing to get to know everyone as best I can and try and make sure people want me around, and have me in their plans moving forward.

https://youtu.be/2ix-llpzUOQ

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https://youtu.be/bwCjV8my_Zc ok my mom walked in so i didn't get to finish my thought, but i guess the full thought is just: what the fuck? like i'm really gonna be watching this vid on repeat while y'all are just trolling us. this will end up in my nightmares. know that. also my paranoia is once again setting in. as i mentioned in previous confessional, i feel like ben and i have bonded the most, and we've both pointed it out to each other, but now i feel like he's pointing it out... almost too much? he's basically comparing our convos to his with the rest of the tribe and that they're much better (which i lowkey agree), but something feels fishy because again IM PARANOID. AM I BEING PLAYED?? like literally the scenario in my mind is that everyone's aligned except me and ben has been chosen as the bug to make me feel comfortable. okay yes im crazy. and it's only day 2 whew! im going to bed goodnight.

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ok now ive found a video about spectograms the channel has liked. this hunt is getting me anxious bc slowly but surely the amount of views on the immunity idol vid is increasing. AHHHH

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ok i found the spectogram and it literally spells out "SINK." (also this shit is scary so again, my nightmare comment holds.) so there are 5 other followers, which makes me know for sure that at least 5 other ppl have found this vid. also i have no idea what to do with the word. i assume that it'll come in handy eventually (maybe a password? send in a chat? comment on the vid? something?) and i really really hope im the only person to find this. i know that's unlikely tho.

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oh my god. oh my fucking god. the clue is at survivor-mesopotamia.tumblr.com/sink . im screaming. proud of myself. BUT of course it says... "clue Though you have found it, No clue has emerged. UNDER CONSTRUCTION, Come back when you’ve merged." i- i have to wait until i've merged. HA. we'll see if bitches get that far. and im bitches. anyways sorry for the spam, now back to your regularly scheduled programming

Day 3: I almost forgot to do this confessional. But here I am, in bed, watching Avatar, and drinking butterscotch milk with Irish cream, which is surprisingly good? Anyways, here we go! First, you’re telling me that we LOST the challenge.. what the hell :( I thought I did so well having 188, but apparently even 256 wasn’t going to cut it. The fact that if Jack could improve his score by 30 points, means we’d be safe from tribal, it annoys me that it felt like he didn’t try as hard as Chrissa in the flash game? Julian, he says we can beast through this game and make final three. This is something I’d really love to be able to trust that he has in mind, but I just am unsure at this moment. He gave me information towards the idol search that I appreciate, and probably wouldn’t have figured it out myself. That felt good, but I feel like he wasn’t giving me everything he knew, just enough to make me feel comfortable. I’ll have to continue to keep my eye on him.. Next, Heather, or Will, my potential showmance. We’ve finally got the opportunity to call each other, we talked about the idol search, and our potential moves in the future. He told me he likes the idea of not playing with Julian, but right after he told me this, Julian asked if we were good? Which was kinda sketch. But I’ll do my best to trust Will, and call it a weird coincidence. Megan hasn’t talked to me much today, but she was a room moderator for sequester, and was visiting a friend today, so I can’t blame her. Chrissa is hopefully safe, I can’t give her first boot in back to back games together, I refuse to be that heartless. She’s so good I can’t do it. Eric hasn’t talked to me much either. For someone who should probably know that his name is on the block, I’m surprised Jack isn’t talking too much to me? Maybe it’s because I’m on the chopping block and I don’t know it. I’d be really heartbroken if I were the first boot.

So we lost the challenge by ONE FREAKING POINT, which sucks ass. But not me doing the best in my tribe on the challenge. We stan improvement. Anyway, it looks like the discussion for the vote is between Jack and Chrissa, namely Jack. Though Chrissa performed worse in the challenge, she's done a better job connecting with the rest of us than Jack has. As of now, that's what the general concensus is. I talked to Julian and he agreed, and we are aligned with JJ. Chrissa would vote our way to make sure it isn't her. Another thing that's happening is the idol search. The video made literally no freaking sense, but when the channel liked this video about spectograms, Julian put the video into it and it spelled sink. It turned out that by putting the word sink into the blog link, it says a clue will be there but at the merge. I guess this means for now there will be no idols, so as long as the people im with are truthful, the person who is planned to go home at tribal will go home without a shadow of a doubt.

https://youtu.be/ury1fLaZQec

Right now everyone on the tribe is at peace and getting along, but we all know that’s gonna change when we go to tribal council.

I'm sad we lost the first challenge. I came back to do better than i did the first time, so the idea of being the first boot would suck. I'm not that close with Chrissa so 100% she's my vote. She has played more seasons than all of us & the second chancers deserve their time. Also, Chrissa did the worst out of us in the challenge so it makes it easier to convince everyone to vote for her, but i also dont want to be the one who targets her first because that could come back round to me, and i would hate that as i've waited over a year for a 2nd shot at this. At the moment i'm closest with JJ & Will F, they are 100% my final 3 right now. I like Megan & Eric as well. I've only had 1 comversation with Julian and we did get on well but we havent talked about anything since then. I've tried to talk to Chrissa but she's never really tried to talk to me.

Hi!! Megan for my first confessional!! Yall are gonna have to remind me throughout my time in this game to do these because I'm SO bad at remembering to do confessionals lmaooo. So this first round there's been a lot going on. There are three tribes- newbies, flops, and a tribe of vets who have played well. Clearly I am on the flop tribe, because I was a SAD pre-merge boot in Svalbard. I was feeling really excited about my tribe and definitely thought we could do well and at least not lose the first challenge - we don't want to be flops again!! But alas, after a long day of doing that stupid entanglement flash game, we have proven our labels and FLOPPED yet again, getting last. SO. now we have to go to tribal council tonight. I am out of town this weekend so I haven't been able to talk to many people but I hope I can make it through this first vote. All I've heard so far is that people want to keep the tribe strong so we don't lose another challenge, and based on the first challenge scores, the two bottom challenge players would be Chrissa and Jack. So far I have heard that people want to do Jack instead of Chrissa, which I am fine with. I haven't talked to him that much and I think the time zone difference unfortunately puts him at a disadvantage, so honestly, we should probably vote him out first. I am nervous of course though because people have been fairly quiet and that's never a good thing, but I am hoping and praying that nothing crazy happens and Jack is the first boot and all is good and fine with that. Okay now I'll talk a little about the players on the tribe and how I feel about them- Okay so obviously I know JJ and Julian fairly well from previous games & also being in various group chats together. So far we are planning on working together as a trio and I am GOOD with that so far. Chrissa I have played with once before but she's not very social or talkative, and tbh, I haven't had a DM with her in this game yet, but she seems sweet. Eric I like a lot, he is funny and outgoing and a little chaotic and I love that in him. I think I know him from something previously but quite honestly I don't remember him, but he remembers me LOL. I hope they're good memories. Jack, again, I haven't talked to him much because of the time difference I think. Also isn't he like a minor? Oof that's weird. Anyway onto the final member of my tribe - the king, the legend, the literal love of my life - WILL!!!! I had never met Will before this game but we vibed IMMEDIATELY. We get along so well and we have a lot of things in common and we like the same kinda things. We've had a lot of really good conversations already and I feel the closest to him in this game by far, even though I have known other people on my tribe longer. I adore Will and I will do everything in my power to make sure we both get as far in this game as we can. Okay I think that's enough for a first confessional, bye!!!

Things have been pleasant and slow so far. Everyone on the tribe seems nice and at this point I’m still just hoping that we’ll all get as far in the game as possible at the expense of the more experienced players. I’m a little concerned because I haven’t really been party to any strategy talk yet; I think that’s just because no one has thought it necessary while we don’t have to go to tribal, but I’m still worried I might just be on the outs and not know it.

hiiii so glad to be back in the game!!!! So thankful I have the opportunity to redeem myself after my huge flop in 94, but lowkey worried about being on the An tribe? Only because it is filled with people who have done well in the past I’m not sure how to measure where I fall within them, but everyone has been very nice and seems to get along with me so far! Also it seems like there is no suspicion from them about Zach and I being siblings which is STELLAR. From looking at the cast I think the only person who knows for sure is JJ, and perhaps Megan? But thankfully they aren’t on a tribe with either of us so that might work in our favor. I’m a little nervous about this first challenge but I have one of the highest scores on my tribe atm, so I feel like if we go to tribal it might be okay. Fingers crossed hehe ;))

I’m SCARED I’ve been out of the loop for TOO LONG. 

from what I've heard i am safe i won't be comfortable until i heard the votes not being all me. 

https://youtu.be/oX4-_QPoqNk

https://youtu.be/YviOufmjmps

My brand is having 4 minute confessionals

from episode 1 https://youtu.be/VqDkCGLTARU

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from episode 1 also https://youtu.be/mklfEHtGp04

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9UqNr3fbiE

Jack voted out 6-1

#nomorethings

[advernia]

around june of last year, i decided to revive my writing blog as one of the many potential stress-relief methods i could think of.... i didn’t think i’d be able to keep it active for long since work + family duties keep me preoccupied most of the time, but eyyy!!! so far i haven’t lost the motivation to keep going back to this blog, and i even managed to keep it afloat for half a year!!! amazing!!! (•̀o•́)ง

and now here we are halfway through 2020!!! it’s waaaay overdue but here’s a big T H A N K  Y O U  V E R Y  M U C H ! ! ! to everyone and anyone who dropped by this blog last year + all them likes, comments, reblogs...... please know that i’m still i n c r e d i b l y grateful for the support & interest in the content i’ve posted up!!!! tbh my activity’s still hella sporadic so it’s really amazing for me that i even gained new followers.... i’m very honored to have all of you stick around my blog despite my irregularity!!!!!!!! (༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ)

it’s also overdue, but i slowly managed and finally cleaned up the blog like i’ve been meaning to do + changed the blog name to match my ao3 handle for consistency!!! i make no promises to be super active... but i’m sure that i still want to continue writing & keep this blog alive!!!! 

again, thank you all for your time + reading my works!!!!!!  ∩( ´∀` )∩ work commentary on the rest of my works last year follows under the cut!

oct 1 // hero’s journey

a drabble on blanc + oliver about the alices... now that i think of it, calling the first alice first alice is kinda funny considering that alice is really her name... or is it? 

i do hope blanc’s route talks about her a bit, haha! i mean, i wish cybird remembers that they’ve been dropping the occasional background tidbits about her... like for example, her pocketwatch (that she gave to blanc eventually) having a magic crystal engraved into it.... her potentially leaving a fucking globe in the black army’s possession (like... wow... u fell with that thing????????)....

plus, i just find it interesting that she was remembered by cradle as a heck of a troublemaker lol! it also makes you wonder who among the main cast met her, blanc aside... though it’s not stated when exactly she fell into cradle, so maybe only blanc had the opportunity of meeting her...

so does blanc speak of her fondly bc she’s a woman, or is there something else??? has he been frequently visiting the land of reason pre-game??? has he found the first alice’s antique shop / met her again??? does he still try to figure out the reason why there’s a magic crystal engraved into the first alice’s pocketwatch????? hmmmmm......

on another note, it would be hilarious if cybird pulls a peter pan 2......... since we can’t pull off a mother-daughter relationship like wendy & jane’s, what if alice the second is somehow actually related to the first alice?? and while she’s completely different from her predecessor, blanc finds himself falling for alice the second........ just like he fell for the first alice? drama!

that’s just a random thought but kidding aside, i do hope blanc’s route is hella interesting bc i think he’s our mr. exposition for knowing more about cradle itself lol

oct 1 // fair (?) ladies & phony (?) enchanters

a result of going manic a few days after seeing harr’s trailer + route release.... ahaHAHA I’M STILL WILLING TO PLAY UR ROUTE IN JP HARR (if i actually had time to sit down and translate gET REKT)

i liked writing these drabbles and i think they’re cute but tbh they did nothing to ease my curiosity about harr’s route.... if anything else, it became even w o r s e  haha........................

if i think of blanc to have a cradle-centric route, i do hope harr’s route is magic tower-centric! naturally it will be since he’s got history there, but i hope a lot of my questions about the magic tower will be answered.....

will harr’s perspective of the magic tower be in the eyes of a test subject or a disciple???? he was scouted by the magic tower, but it wasn’t stated what he was doing exactly..... going by hints + loki’s & zero’s routes, it’s more of him being a disciple, so there’s bound to be guilt.......

hopefully alice’s characterization in his route is good + we get a fun group dynamic with loki!!! their potential.... the most(?) notorious criminal of cradle, a sought after test subject, and that one girl who nullifies all magic; a renegade trio lurking around the forbidden forest.... what an odd bunch!

oct 4 // god is a five minute hymn

a religious themed fic with lancelot & alice - tbh i don’t even know why religion was the first thing that came into mind when liz and i were talking about cultural differences, lol.

on that note though! i personally like thinking that if ever cradle had a semblance of a religion, it would be polytheistic & nature-centric, and not strictly practiced - the stratocracy of both territories i’d like to think makes it harder for religion to have a voice, much less have one that is practiced by the general population. the only thing general about it is that the religion centers or has magic crystals as an important factor... or something. yeah.

that aside, i think i specifically chose lancelot in this piece for the sole reason that his canonically stated lack of common sense, in my opinion, gives him the curiosity of a child sometimes - there’s no sense of malice or doubt, just the pure innocence of wanting to know something....... religion does that to kids, especially when introduced to it at first.

rereading the fic makes me think of the instances where when faced with dire or unsettling situations, people turn to faith as a life line.... well, i’m not sure if i had that subconsciously in mind when writing alice, but that does give a spin to it....

oct 6 // flow like the river nile

a spontaneous red army-centric fic! it certainly turned out better than i expected... i liked the formatting i used for this one!

if cybird can give us more about the pre-game suitors it would be great, tbh! and while the stuff about them in school is interesting, i’d like to see more about when they assumed their positions + combat scenes! the neutrals are special cases, but knowing more about their living conditions + daily lives is also a treat...

i was thinking of adding one last snippet about lancelot in the eyes of the reds, but i scrapped it out and switched it to alice & lancelot’s conversation about duty - it could’ve worked better if i stuck to using the what is your duty? question, but i scrapped it eventually too. ah well. it does look good enough as it is. 

oct 7 // seeking out phantoms

a mandatory(???) odd one out aka content that’s not ikerev, haha! i missed fe:a all of a sudden...

i never got around to writing properly for this fandom tho, what a shame - i’ve got some bits of pieces in my drafts that looked interesting and easy enough to pick up, and this was one of them.

robin investigating more of their plegian heritage could’ve been a good subplot tbh... i still wish there was something like a paralogue or dlc about it, bc honestly the valm arc goes a bit slow until you get to the future past revelations. ah well.

and gaius bc first husband for the win.... not like i actually had the guts to marry anyone else in my other save files lololol

nov 7 // push me off a bridge (to catch me as i fall)

my longest project of 2019, holy shit! i didn’t know i still had it in me to write something past 10k... i need more of that motivation + energy....

there’s nothing much to say about this since i blabbed about everything in the post-reading notes, but as much as i fought myself to get this done, i really enjoyed writing a long fic again! hopefully i can get myself to write another one this year...

nov 18 // beloved, beloved, let me be clear

18 sentences on zero & alice + macross frontier references! man, when i really got to the point about the earrings i was thinking of sheryl a lot....

kept it in sentences cause i didn’t have enough time to put up a decent ficlet! but i really wanted to get my screaming out of my system....... i used to do sentences + three word sentences challenges before, and doing one again was pretty fun!

but really.... zero’s route kept me happy for days???? their buildup + dynamic was something i was totally w e a k for, no joke..... thank gods the collection event was going on, bc i really made good use of my stocked chapter tickets lolol!

i was especially excited come the ball scene, and that cg..... a h a h a.... i need more of those pretty cgs where i can see alice’s face + costume change....... 

nov 20 // coloring inside the lines

jonah + alice + makeup!!!! tbh this was really fun, i enjoyed writing this one - if i remember, this was a fic that i managed to continuously work on the day i thought it up!

jonah may not be my best boy but tbh i find writing him very easy - i guess it’s because i’m very fond of characters like him!!! those uptight nobles who are as prideful as hell but can definitely live up to their name + are more capable than their bragging suggests... idk if there’s a general trope name for these doods, but i especially like analyzing their motivations + convictions!!!

i liked how i ended it, but i apparently i made an actual ending that’s now a snippet in my drafts - jonah & alice head to the ball, and somewhere along some bystanders’ flow of conversation someone drops a comment about jonah’s lips looking... quite more luscious than usual, lolol. so t h i r s t y. upon hearing this, alice can’t seem to stop smiling for some reason..... 

nov 27 // blue fields, verdant skies

a practice drabble set centric on a ray/alice development that i liked so much i made it into a series - plus, it’s black army content and honestly i need to write more of them! my red army bias is showing whoooooops

it’s a feudal + arranged marriage au, with the latter... being quite spontaneous. it’s those types of marriages where neither have even met - not even once - only to face each other come the wedding... so it’s a given that audiences from both parties are rather curious how this will turn out.

since i had the theme of fate in mind, ray was the automatic pick for the male lead. the rest of the black army is a given and for kicks, i added dean and dalim! i actually want to write about them + mousse, but since i’m still unsure on their characterizations i’ve been holding them off.... but i gave in anyway.....

alice is again named for word count convenience purposes since it’s in actual 100 words aka drabble form! i have planned scenes + an ending already in mind, but going there is pretty hard bc.... i still have to write the scenes in between + resist temptation to expand further on other scenes, haha....

initially i was planning to keep it updated here as well, but any more updates of this are on ao3 instead! the formatting looks better there instead of my blog tbh, and it also gives it a sort of muted tone to the story that works with me!

this is also the 31st fic in this blog, marking an end of the challenge liz bestowed to me lolol - since i brought this blog back to life around june, i was dared that by the end of the year, i should’ve posted more than 15 fics to add up to the initial 15 i had already posted before, thus the numbers on my fics back then.... now that i actually succeeded, i can stop counting lololol!!!! tho hopefully i can still be pretty active this year....

dec 22 // duck, duck, bullet

oliver & fenrir on guns... this probably wins as the most spontaneous idea i had on my head - tbh, i wasn’t even sure where i was going with it at first! but i’m sure i was suddenly thinking about that one detective conan movie.... then it became kid!oliver with a gun.....

i wonder if he tests the bullets at night, when he’s in adult form.... then again, kid!oliver with a gun still works.... say that because he’s a genius inventor, he made some models to serve as his shooting targets.... but another thought that amuses me more is.... blanc does the bullet testing for him!?

lololol i already thought about blanc being oliver’s live target, but i also find blanc with a gun very interesting.......... i mean, blanc certainly doesn’t look like he can fight, but who knows??? i mean, mousse is the former ace of hearts, but i still can’t imagine him fighting..... appearances can be deceiving....

the two aside, i wonder how fenrir even met oliver and got him working on his bullets........ was it through blanc or other connections???? how long have they been seller and buyer???? does anyone else commission anything from oliver?????? hmmmm.....

dec 23 // terms of surrender

i’ve been told by liz + luci + other friends that i needed to practice writing more.... cheesy fluff. i’m not sure if this sirius/alice piece counts, lol. in fact, i think it’s my definition of fluff i see here - and it translates to not exactly fluffy at all!

tho if you want me to be honest about it - when i write suitor/alice stuff, how alice was characterized in the suitor’s route is still my basis for how i’ll write her, and sirius’ alice................ haha......... i think she’s the alice that’s honestly easy to write but i choose to avoid.......... 

i don’t dislike the sirius/alice dynamic per se, tho. i do find it cute, especially if cybird stops emphasizing the issue of maturity in the relationship on alice’s side. i understand - i really do - that it’s a potential issue in the relationship, but...... that’s not the only problem you can possibly have as time passes, right?????

on another note, it’s funny that only sirius gets to be harped about the maturity due to age difference issue - setting aside blanc, who heavens know how old he is, lancelot’s 29 and since alice is presumed to be around ray + fenrir’s age, you could say that she’s 24 or even 23 to be safe.... so that makes a 5 / 6 years difference but it’s never brought up, lol. but i guess it’s because unlike lancelot, the black army’s been making sirius’ age a running gag....

anyway, this piece is pretty decent! i was thinking of something along the lines of mornings between a “married couple”.... there were two scenarios i had in mind, and i opted to write this one out first.... maybe i’ll have the second one posted up here another day.

dec 28 // a chain of black thrones

pre-game!sirius & ray and bc i was thinking a lot about the previous chosen, the former jack of spades!!! i wonder if the armies have a set age for retirement lolol... it would be awesome if there was still a chosen who’s already past his 50s or something, haha!

since sirius was constantly badgered to take on the role of king, i was also wondering about how long the black army was ‘king-less’... i mean, if the tension between both armies was really as great as they say, having no king puts the black army at a precarious position... i also thought that ‘nah, maybe there was a king or something but maybe the black army didn’t like him or something so they insisted that sirius take it instead’ but sirius’ 1st anniv. epilogue says otherwise - there really was a period that the black army had no king, wow. how the heck did they deal with that???? surely the red army saw this as a display of vulnerability....

can the black army’s chosen choose to leave their posts when they feel like it??? when they’re defeated by a challenger, what happens to them - a demotion, or do they serve under the ‘new’ chosen??? does the black army’s chosen change constantly because of their meritocracy + challenger system??? like, how do they deal with that, and do they announce their changes in chosen each council meeting??? each new question just snowballed my curiosity, whoops...

there were so many angles i thought of but i decided to settle for addressing the king-less state of the black army... through the eyes of a veteran who’s probably served many kings throughout his time of service as part of the black army’s chosen.

i gave this jack of spades character a name, actually - garret folner. maybe someday i’ll write him again, bc i actually enjoyed thinking about the present + past chosen interactions - maybe i’d think about that for the red army, but this time i find the black army’s side more interesting for this situation.

dec 29 // steadfast tin soldier

a zero/alice piece for zeroweek - i was about to post pt. 1 as a standalone, but then i just thought about how.... zero bought alice a gown.... but never got to dance with her at the day of the ball..... so i rushed to add pt. 2 haha!

with the addition of pt. 2 it looks cut short tho - i did think of putting a scene in between, but no good ideas came into mind bc i was too fascinated with the dancing scene... i swear at some point i will find myself writing a fic or a part of a fic that’s a dance scene for the rest of the ikerev suitors + alice....

this is the kind of fluff i live for, actually... i’m totally fine with the steamy content cybird throws during events + bonus stories, but if i were to be honest i say.... where’s my non-sexual intimacy????? the simple, wholesome stuff?????????????????

man, i feel hilarious for typing that out..... but well, i guess it’s a matter of different strokes for different folks, lol!

#rundown.txt #can i spam thank yous???? seriously idk what else to say ahhhh #this! blog! shall! live!!! if i do well enough updating will become a habit!!! #i need better habits than sleeping + working + spring cleaning lololol #aHA i was thinking of changing themes again bc aesTHETIC #there wasn't one that caught my eye tho... plus coding during work... get rekt #but i fooled around with pages instead and colors!!! blue's the color of the year

[sekaiscanvas]

Oh Sehun - Call In Sick

A/N: It took me a bit longer to edit this one than I had expected, so I couldn’t get it posted right on his birthday, but here it is! Happy Birthday to Sehun, who loves to be that bias wrecker >_>

"Noona, I don't think I can make it into work today," Sehun said from his spot on the couch. He was still in his sweats, no shirt, and had his head resting against the back cushions.

You crooked an eyebrow at his remark. Having been with him for so long, you knew full well that he wasn't actually sick. Sehun was looking for a reason to stay home, and though on most days you would entertain him, today wasn't one of those days. Admittedly work had been stressing you out a bit and your patience was a bit thin. "Oh? I'm pretty sure you said the same thing last Monday," you pointed out.

Shit. Did he say that last Monday? He really needed to get his excuses straight. But he couldn't help it. Sehun wanted to stay home today... and keep you in with him. He knew that things had been rough at work and he wanted to relax you, make you feel better in one of the only ways he knew how. "Last week was just a slight headache, but I really don't feel well today, noona."

Sehun's voice became a bit whiny, and you only rolled your eyes. "Oh? You didn't seem so exhausted when I woke up to you buried inside of me. If anyone should be exhausted, it's me," you replied flatly. Honestly, you loved living with your boyfriend. It was nice to finally have him so close, but to say that he was difficult to control when he was horny was an understatement.

Sehun pouted at your words. You were really going to make this hard, weren't you. "But that was right when we woke up. After you went to shower, I started to feel ill. Come on, as my boss, can't you give me permission to take the day off?"

"Oh Sehun, everyone in the office knows that we're dating. If I keep giving you days off and taking days off myself, people will start to talk. I want to keep my job."

"I know but... noona, I really don't feel well. Please come over here and check. I think I'm burning up," he insisted. If anyone could practically pout using his words, it was Sehun. In actuality, he did it because he knew it would work on you. He knew that you were weak to his whiny nature, even if you complained that he was a bit of a brat most of the time. But still, if your Sehunnie looked like he was sick, you'd come over right away. You'd take the bait hook, line, and sinker.

You knew that you couldn't ignore his incessant whines forever. Plus, the longer you prolonged checking on him, the later that you would leave for work, and you couldn't have that. So, with a heavy sigh, you gently sauntered over, eyes scanning your boyfriend's features as he rested his head back on the couch, eyes closed. You had considered that this was just another one of his little acts, but you also wanted to believe that he wouldn't be playing these types of games during your busiest days. You tried to think the best of him.

Slowly you leaned over, trying to reach your hand to his forehead, and that was when it was game over for you.

Faster than you even had time to react, Sehun wrapped his arms around you, holding you firm against his half-naked form. Deftly, in the mess of it all, his hands had managed to unbutton your top three buttons, lips now leaving little bites all over your chest. Unconsciously, the slightest moan slipped from your lips. You should have known he was going to do this, and you had to try to stop it here.

"S-sehun, we don't have time for this. Your teasing isn't going to work on me... t-this time," you said adamantly. Even though you tried to be firm, it was hard. You attempted to steady your breathing through your nose, but you were already breathless.

It didn't matter what you did or what you said, Sehun knew that he had won. He always knew how to get to you, and this was only one of a handful of ways he knew to make you falter. If you don’t like my teasing then why are you moaning?” he challenged, watching as you tried to give him a stern look, but failed when his hand pushed your skirt up, hardened member grinding against your covered core.

"Shit," the word barely leaving your lips as your hips moved in rhythm with Sehun's. You knew that going to work was now the least of either of your concerns. Instead, it was about feeling that delicious friction that clothes created, stimulating both of you. "Fuck, you're the worst, Sehun."

"You think that now, but you know that you love my ways. Admit it, noona. You love how much of a devious little brat I am." Before Sehun could taunt you any further, you shut him up by placing y our lips on his own, tongue slipping into his hot mouth, making him grown. In your frustration with your boyfriend, you roughly ground your hips against his, eliciting another sound from the male below you. In that instant his hands moved up, doing quick work to unbutton the rest of your white shirt before tossing it to the side. His hands were then on the clasp of your bra, the light material leaving your body in seconds.

Sehun's lips left marks all over your chest, sucking hard, little red bites everywhere. He bit down on areas that he knew were particularly sensitive, making you melt in his arms. You threw your head back in pleasure, letting out a moan that was caught in the back of your throat. Your hands rested on his knees for support, also allowing you to get a better angle against his growing erection. Sehun wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you upright as your speed picked up, both of your movements becoming erratic. The fabric of his sweatpants was causing too much friction, and his mind was going blank.

It was only at that moment that Sehun finally pulled away from your chest. "Shit, noona, I'm going to - " but before the words could leave his lips, he felt his release hit him, a mess forming in his sweatpants. And it wasn't long after that you still above him, reaching your own orgasm. The wet spot on the outside of his pants was evidence of that.

Heavy pants filled the room as Sehun held you in his arms, the both of you a sticky mess, but also satisfied. It was needless to say that you both called in sick, neither of you in any shape to work that day...

Sehun +  “If you don’t like my teasing then why are you moaning?”

#sehun #oh sehun #exo smut #sehun smut #kpop smut #oh sehun smut #sekaiscanvas

[aharris00britney]

ASKS 10

‘less weird hairs,’ pics of me, real life questions, seasons thoughts, kpop stuff, ‘are you a boy’ erhdfnv, tutorial questions, edits, ‘safe’ cc, and umm yeah never go camping in the actual woods ok

Anonymous said: Can you do Less weird hair? I Like how good Mesh You make but all styles look Really Weird I never Would use them. I just want Usual hair? Thanks you            

Firstly, thank you for the meshing compliment, but tbh I think I make pretty simple hair styles? Like I don’t do many crazy things especially recently? Idk, I hope you like some of my hairs and can find something that fits in your liking :/

Anonymous said: Hi I really love you content and I was wondering if you’d ever do a “goddess locs” hairstyle?            

Ok I am gonna be super straight forward about this, making hairstyles like this is really challenging for me. I have tried a ton of times and I just can’t get the meshes to work out the way I like. UV mapping is a pain in the ass, making the hairline match well, and making sure none of the mesh strands are broken is next to impossible for me. Most creators that make hairstyles like this do them from scratch or spend a long time working on them for them to look right. I’m not saying ‘no’ because I am going to try to play around with some seasons meshes (I have hair ideas) but no promises :(

Anonymous said: BLACKPINK COMEBACK

i know omg jennie snapped, I wasn’t planning on buying the physical album but I ended up caving in and getting the pink versions ;-; I hope I get Jennie or Lisa photocards

Anonymous said: i know your theme is by gukthemes, but what is it called?            

PAPILLON by GUKTHEMES

Anonymous said: Are you ever gonna do a face reveal?

I have posted a pic of myself before in one of these ask posts, here are three more from the past few months :P

Anonymous said: Fav kpop group(s)???            

1). LOONA (bias Kim Lip) 2). BLACKPINK (bias Jennie) 3). RED VELVET (bias Joy) 4). CLC (bias Yeeun) 5). DREAMCATCHER (idk their names but the rapper)

Anonymous said: You play pokemon go still?

Yes! I collected cards/figures growing up and watched the show before school every morning. I’m not a ‘game’ fan but the mobile app is fun. Actually I played the Wii U Pokemon tournament game but it was boring so :/

Anonymous said: are you going to buy seasons? do you think it is worth it?

I got it from CDkeys for $25 lmao, so yes :P I can’t run the live mode so I kind of am just getting it for the new CAS assets :/ but I think the pack looks really good. Everyone always says ‘it looks like the best EP so far’ every time something new comes out so I’m not gonna say that but we will see :D

Anonymous said: whats ur skin blend called?            

Fruitpunch! You can get it here

Anonymous said: when are you going to be done camping?

I am back home now lmao I assume you sent this when I posted about not having service there :P but I was camping for 3 days? I know it was 2 nights at least refdbv also omg some camping stories:

► I didn’t have my voice for the entire trip bc I got sick with laryngitis, and now koby (the guy i shared a tent with) has it too erfdbvc

► It was blazing hot like omg I was dying, there werent showers, bathrooms, anything with AC. The tents were boiling hot, the ground fucking hurt, and it was just hell ok this isnt even a story I just need to complain.

► There was a racoon family outside the tents the first night, and we thought it was a bear bc we were literally in the middle of the woods, like it wasn’t a campsite with other people, it was the forest ;-; anyways we were legit so freaked out and up for 2 hours just listening to them walk around the tents and god it was so scary rfbdv

► As I said, I had no service so I missed the larvitar community day in pokemon go -_-

► I suck at cornhole so I was the cheer leader for a team UwU

► A deer jumped out right in front of the fucking car like RIGHT IN FRONT OF IT omg we were so close to hitting it like... it was fucking scary

► We went walking on a trail that was down a mountain and once we got down we discovered that the chairlift up was CLOSED so we had to walk back up and it was a nightmare bc we had all just drove like 30 minutes to shower in crappy no pressure no heat showers and we were all sweaty again by the time we got back to the top ;-;

dont go camping

Anonymous said: Your last edit creeps me out.

LMAO why? It isnt meant to be sexual or scary?  

@achinghearts88 said: I really love Sims 4 cc but I constantly struggle with finding safe sites and have accidentally downloaded a virus trying to get cc before so I'm kinda frightened now. What advice do you have for getting safe cc? Thanks!

Hello! I use an adfly skipper + adblock, and if both of those don’t work then I just don’t download the cc. For some creators (nolan-sims, simduction, isjao, ivo-sims, and others) I will turn them off because I know these creators aren’t ones that use the sketchy adfly stuff, but for others that I don’t know well I leave it on. I use: U Block origin and adfly skipper (both on firefox)

Anonymous said: I couldn't find a "contact me" thing but your AHarris00Britney has a broken mesh I think.            

??? idk what this means im sorry ;-; what hair are you referring to?

Anonymous said: an amazing creator and a loona fan???? i stan            

My mind... your mind... our mind..

@chocooosims said: hey, I love your cc, you are such a good creator! :) I'm not sure if someone already ask you that, but have you ever considered making a tutorial where you show us how you create maxis match hair? I mean, I know that I can already find on Internet  tutorials about frankenmeshing hair. But the thing is that you are one of the only creator who do more than simply merge 2 EA's hair together. So, I would really love to see a tutorial of how you are creating your cc! :) Thx for your time!! 

I am making a BIG tutorial right now of me making a hair from start-finish and it is around 3 hours not speed up. My guardian angel is going to edit it for me tonight and then I will try to have it posted next week sometime

Anonymous said: what university are you going to?

Radford :D it is in Virginia

Anonymous said: Just wanted to let you know you're a king           

thank you lmao I wish it were true, stan loona or be beheaded

Anonymous said: r u a guy or girl or non binary etc. also are you lgbtq+ at all? not to judge, just wondering :)

uuh, I’m a gay guy lmao idk about all the other terms like cis/bianary ;-; i like the anatomy exclusive to the male body

edit: rip so someone messaged me asking what I meant by “anatomy exclusive to the male body” and I was like ?? bc I meant i like d**k, and i explained that i didn't like using cuss words on my blog bc my account got shut down/deleted/reported last year and was completely gone for two days while I emailed my butt off to get it back. Also, I was trying to be funny by sounding proper and using big terms like anatomy/exclusive instead of just saying “i like penis” bc that just isnt as fun to say imo. My anatomy teacher never used words like v*gina/p*nis and would say stuff like that, and I always found it funny and I guess that was another reason I worded it that way. Anyways if you think I was being transphobic, I apologize. I hope you don’t think that I am transphobic bc of that? If you want to message me and talk to me about how I can word stuff better then I am around 24/7 mostly, but I’m not going to fight with anyone who is just looking to argue because that is childish. I am sorry to those that got offended but I got one message about this so if something like this happens, message me like this person and ask what I meant so that it isn’t blown out of proportion. Again, I did not think that it would be taken that way and I am sorry if you felt that I was making fun of a trans person. <3

Anonymous said: What do you see in the corner of your room when you get sleep paralysis  (;            

James Charles with breasts on the beach and im not sharing this photo anymore it is demonic OK

Anonymous said: hi! i installed your non-default eye recolors but i'm having a glitch with them. my female sims lose their face in cas and it's just like an empty spot where the face should be. i have the default eyes installed too so i know it's not an issue with a missing mesh but i'm not sure how to fix it.            

Hello!! I don’t think this is my eyes because I’m not experiencing this glitch? Did you run a S4S batch fix over everything? I think that causes this glitch sometimes but I am unsure. Try repairing your game and if you have the “no EA eyelash” mod then redownload that and replace the old file.

@sephirajo said: I found your sims 4 mods and I love the hairs! They're so amazing and pretty.            

thank you so much!

Anonymous said: In your collab with wildpixel, I F**KING love the Ivy hair; do you have any recolours of it or any of the other hairs in the collab?

all the hairs in that pack are recolored in the anathema and sacharinne palette :) and I reblog all recolors of my cc over on @aharris00britneyrecolors

#asks

[kpopidolsarehumanstoo]

“Unexpected Meeting” Xu Minghao (The8) : Drabble

Pairing: Xu Minghao (Seventeen) x male reader

Genre: Fluff 

Relationship with reader: They don’ t know each other yet.

Quick Summary: You and your friend came back to Korea and it just so happens that Seventeen also just landed their plane. 

Warning: The usual cursing lol. 

A/N: This was previously a draft my friend made on my laptop. @livingheartimes and then I realized it was quite nice so I contacted her asking for permission to edit her stuff, and she approved my request so this happened lol. 70% of this was from her and the 30% was from me editing it (mostly changing the pronouns from “I” to “you”. @livingheartimes if you do not like it I'm sorry pls don't kill me TwT lol. I mean I took out quite a huge chunk of your previous plot TwT.

Ps: I hope that yall will like this, again credits go to @livingheartimes  UwU.

Word count: 1,677

You and f/n came back to South Korea from a summer vacation in Iceland. Iceland was really great. It was so peaceful. No one bothered the both of you, literally. The both of you stayed there for only 4 months. You wished you could stay forever, but sadly nothing lasts forever.

You and f/n had a lot of differences despite being the bestest of friends. Your friend disliked Korean music yet he is Korean. He dislikes his own race, he dislikes his own language, he dislikes South Korea. I am (nationality) but, i personally love Korean music. Specifically, K-pop.

He’s usually optimistic, so it’s weird hearing him say such negative things. He’s the type of person that whenever someone bullies him, he looks in the mirror and just says that he loves himself. He’s a bit weird, but in a good way. He hates books. Whenever we go to the library, he always falls asleep. Sometimes, the librarian would even kick us out. He tends to play computer games. He uses social media but is so addicted to computer games.

He is also aromantic, he does not feel any romantic attraction to any sexuality or gender. It’s fine though. You personally don’t care what his romantic preference is (or lack thereof), he’s your friend, you respect him.

You met him when the both of you coincidently, got buried in a mob of books. The books from the upper shelves fell on top of both of you. You were irritated at that time. You were about to freak out but then you heard him laugh. He seemed to enjoy what just happened. You thought he was insane until he helped you up. Since then, he’s been following you for a month and soon enough the both of you became friends.

Crazy isn’t it. You have a friend, after like a zillion-years. Three to four months into your friendship he said he was going to leave for South Korea. You were also going to leave for Kore at that exact date but you decided not to tell him. He suddenly invited you to go with him. He’s totally crazy, in a good way.

Anyways, the both of you arrived in South Korea. A lot has already changed after only 4 months. Well, South Korea is one of the most advanced countries in Asia. Explains it though. You walked together out of the airport. While the both of you were walking, you glanced at him. You noticed he had a smile on his face, but his eyes said it all. You noticed in his eyes that they were filled with hatred. You knew it then, he wasn’t really excited at all.

You told him to come with you away from people but then you heard someone call out.

“y/n! y/n! Here! Come on!”  f/n heard her, too.

“y/n, let’s go!” He said cheerfully and made you follow him. He stopped and waited for you. You just walked and realized how cute he was.

You reached the girl. Her name was g/n. She was a childhood friend of yours.

“g/n , what are you doing here?”

“Well, I heard you were heading here so I decided to wait for you. And for your friend I guess.”

“Thank you, miss g/n. My name is f/n. Nice to meet you.”

“F/n? Nice to meet you, too. But, please, don’t call me miss.”

The both of them laughed it out, leaving you in the side lines.

“G/n, were you waiting for anyone else? You don’t seem to have the intention of moving.” You asked.

“Seventeen. They’re arriving from Japan. I want to see them so badly. Y/n aren’t you a fan of them?”

“Yeah, I am a fan of theirs, Is it ok if we wait for them f/n.”

“Sure.”

“F/n, do you have a place to stay?”

“We were planning on booking a hotel.”

“Just stay at my place then. I have spare bedrooms. The both of you could stay there.”

“Are you sure? We don’t want to inconvenience you.” You asked.

“Yes, I am quite sure.”

Suddenly the airport erupted in screams, when you decided to look towards the screams you saw Seventeen and you immediately stood still. You can not believe what you are seeing. Seventeen was passing by in front of you. Your eyes started searching for your bias right away, and just in time, the guy you were looking for stopped right in front of you.

In front of you was no other than Xu Minghao.Your heart skipped a beat and your breath stopped. Your brain is still processing that the guy you have always looked up to was right in front of you.

Minghao pulled his facemask down and smiled at you. Your brain immediately shut down.

“Hey, what’s your name?” He asked still having that cute smile directed towards you. By your side, you hear g/n squeal.

“Y/n-y/n I’m, Holy shit. Mi-Minghao?” You cursed at yourself for stuttering and stumbling your words.

“Ahh! Cool name. Were you waiting for us?”

You nodded your head yes.

“Ohhh okay. Who would’ve known we had Carats as good looking as you?” The words made you blush. His words were definitely having an effect on you, and you just wanted to hide your face.

“I’ve only been a Carat for on-only a few mo-months.”

“Fair enough. Anything fun happened to you, lately?”

“We just came back from I-Iceland.” You said.

He chuckled at your antics. He finds your stuttering cute and just wants to protect you.

“You’re really cute. Was Iceland nice? I want to visit Iceland someday. Maybe we could both go there together?” He said, ending with a suggestive wink. Your face becoming redder with each word he said.

You smiled as you replied cheerfully, “Iceland was amazing. Very peaceful, perfect for reading books.”

“Could you suggest a good book? I’ve been trying to read lately.”

Before you could answer, one of their guards called them, telling them that it was time to go.

“Wait for a while.” Minghao said to the guard. The guy was clearly pissed but obliged anyways. “Y/n, may I ask where you live? I would like to visit you sometime.” Minghao said with an akward tone on his voice.

You raised your eyebrow at him. “Dude, isn’t it quite weird to ask random people where they live? We barely know each other.”

With this, the cool front that Minghao tried his best to put up, immediately crumbled. His cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Now that he thinks about it he should’ve asked for your number instead.

“78 Gokdo Street.”

“Huh?” He asked, confused.

“I’m currently staying at 78 Gokdo Street, so if you want you could take a visit.”

Minghao smiled brightly, but his smile faltered when the guard was already having a hard time holding back the rabid fans.

“I’ll visit you soon, Y/n. Goodbye.” He said with a shy smile and puts on his mask. When he walked away, Jun took his hands and ran fast towards the impatiently waiting driver.

A smile blew up on your face. When you looked back towards your friends they had this teasing smirk on their faces.

“Can we just go now?” You asked.

They both nodded and then y’all took the taxi. You arrived at approximately an hour. You went inside your room right away. You still remember everything inside it, but it was cleaner. G/n must have cleaned the room. You lay down your bed right away and before you knew it, you went fast asleep.

The next day, you heard laughter and what sounds to be a strangled goat from downstairs. It woke you up. You tried covering your head with a pillow but the sound of strangled goat was getting on your nerves. You went downstairs frustrated and carrying your pillow. You just wanted to slaughter that fucking goat that ruined your sleep.

“Where the fuck is that goat from?” When you opened your eyes towards the living room, the first thing you realized was that the sounds came from g/n, and then you realized that she made those sounds because Seventeen was in her home.

You halted. Minghao was there talking to F/n. The rest of Seventeen were just there looking awkwardly at the girl having a seizure. And then they all stopped and looked towards you.

You ran back to your room as quickly as possible and locked the door. You stayed sitting behind the door.

“What the fuck? He actually tried visiting.” You whispered to yourself, baffled. You hastily changed your clothes and tried to present yourself at least somewhat decent. You mustered up your courage and went downstairs.

The view in front of you was a wild one. You see G/n on the floor quite possibly dead, the other members seem to be quite close already, they were currently at the kitchen and are emptying liquor cabinet (which makes you happy that F/n was starting to enjoy Korea, and with K-pop idols at that), and then there was Minghao. Ooh boy. He was sitting down properly on the couch, looking at G/n, visibly concerned. Yes, a few minutes with you gone and shit has already gone down.

You went towards Minghao and he immediately stood up straight like a pole when he saw you. You chuckled a bit and went to grab his arm.

“How about we go out and eat ice cream?” You asked.

He smiled but then it faltered when he looked back at your friend that is currently on the floor. “That would be nice and all, but what about her?” His face was filled with concern for the girl that has fainted.

“She’ll be fine. This happened quite often when we were in high school together.” You chuckled and he reciprocated.

“Fine. Let’s go.” Minghao said, a boyish grin set on his face. And with that the both of you set off.

The day ended with a new couple, 13 drunk guys, and a girl still asleep with a puddle of saliva by her side.

A/n: UwU. As always I don't know how to make titles UwU. Also my editing is quite shitty lol. Hope you liked it UwU. Time to make my Jeno fic now.

#MInghao #The8 #Minghao x male reader #its another Minghao x male reader lol #The8 x male reader #Seventeen x male reader #male reader #Kpop x male reader #UwU

[wonderingangelsuniverse]

January 7th 2018

 I’ve noticed something different in me which I think I understand. The universe is astonishing lately, keeping kind. It maybe because my wishes always vary from light to dark in some ways, so it doesn’t have to worry to much about how to find that fine balance between love and torture. I consider myself invested in my own growth as I tend to make sure I learn things I need to for my overall goals of becoming a better writer and most importantly so I may understand the humans more. I realize I have a fine sense of people/psychology as I have never truly been one myself, so I am able to take a not so bias embrace to what I’ve heard is truth from many voices in my lifetime. Mostly empathy not so much sympathy.

This brings me to my point. As we both know I’ve been experiencing raw emotions on a next level basis like I have never before felt. In any case I have expressed that I may need some assistance discovering what true evil within a person is like. I never expected in any way that I would become the dummy. It makes a very large amount of sense to me that in some aspects I must suffer in order to test what darkness is, but for me to be both the antagonist and the victim is a shock. Destiny is the greatest writer and although I too wish to be that good, I almost feel like it has a fairly high advantage over me. Over my existence, even at a young age, I have found that if destiny wants to shake anyone simple put it can, perceive or think such an outcome maybe not so much. Its kind of screwy, I have spent many, many of times writing out all the possible situations that may unfold upon the future. I have gone as far as taking bets with you. I feel like its not always entirely true as destiny attempts to persuade me otherwise with letting me predict small things. The problem is that it appears to keep an equal playing field for all the players in the game. If I am able to predict something then someone with an equal or better ability of anticipation an assumption can also interpret the next move. I can’t decide within myself weather to be mad or what, however my only outlet right now appears to be: to push everything towards the unknown. It’s because of the unknown that I am having these issues. This will never solve my problems and will only just do what I am proficient at which is to withdraw and berry any remnants of my issue. I keep finding myself having no reason to be so sad, not depressed, no, sad. A deep rooted sadness that makes me question if I’m going to stop living shortly. My lead theory is this strong inner emotion that often strikes me later in my day almost but most definitely heartbreak. I thought and I keep thinking, sadly, that I have once before experienced heartbreak undoubtedly, previously in my lifetime, however this is not true. We can come to this conclusion because of a recent discovery, one that separates admiration from lust. I’ve always understood love, as love is something given out. Love is not only something given out but something us humans are often exposed to at a very young age. I however have had a real tussle with lust so far. Not necessarily in a bad way but in a very confused way. Confused to the point that the only thing that makes sense to me, may not make any sense at all in the long run. I feel like the conclusion I have come to is both easily agreeable and nearly identical to the literal definition which should lead me to believe I am correct, although, from my point about destiny, I surprisingly may not know definitively. Let me explain, admiration is an extremely intoxicating feeling that makes me unable to get enough, because I find this person to be godly beyond and I must impress them. I fall unable, silent in fact, and yet I absolutely crave that persons presents. No matter how imperfect, their imperfection becomes my idea of perfection. Simple put, envy to an extreme. Lust is completely different is it not? I have gathered at some point that both lust and admiration enjoy holding hands romantically while they gaze at the vast illuminated ocean at the days end. Lust picks at me like ticks in hidden places, making me yearn for something I want desperately. I don’t consistently want actions from a person, but I feel a consuming warmth, like I’ve been eaten. I feel my blood rush in response to the ticks. The ticks are no unpleasing in anyway, but exactly the opposite of pain. I find myself taken away by lust just as I am taken by admiration except the dreams I have of lust are pearly sexual and admiration treats sex like its embarrassing.

In middle school the trendy thing to do was to have a boyfriend. I have to say I’ve always admired the idea of an intimate relationship with another. As I am/was female and ignorantly unable to be anything else, questioning the boy part in the word boyfriend wouldn’t cross my mind. What I wanted in my partner wasn’t sexual and just included sex in the package, so what did it matter to me? I was never repulsed by the thought of having sexual interactions with any gender anyways. In factuality I had already had intercourse with a male before I even entered the middle grades. I found it very glorious on a physical level. When I found the right guy, it would be both physically good and emotionally good as well, right? I was positive that the right guy would spark greatness in every encounter we made together. Wrapping this up I had absolutely no way of telling or evidence to reconsider about my partner not being a male. Why would I ever set out to make my life any more difficult then it already was? I scouted the halls of the middle school for the perfect male partner, even when I had a boyfriend, and was regarded as very happy. I was even admired for my cute little half cocked relationship I graciously accepted my way into as a kind favor. I loved the thought that someone genuinely enjoyed who I was, and could easily be broken emotionally if I were to protest. I’ve always been quite a kind and gentle soul. The boy I did end up admiring, key word, was a kid I thought was perfect in his appearance. I had little to no idea about him and in no way ever wanted him to mount me. I was addicted to how I felt about him however, always speaking of him kindly, and felt disingenuous stringing my so called current boyfriend along for no reason. If I had to break his heart it was going to be over the truth. The truth was simply because I didn’t find him, or in his defense any man, ever to be sexually appealing. I didn’t feel anything but love for him as a good overall person. always feeling that way over and over again towards admirable male personalities. Back to my walking art piece. My luck was quite fantastic when it came to wooing over the male I thought was perfection, sense I ironically had picked up many females online before. Definitely not an overly obvious hint to my clear lesbianism. I persuaded him to go out with me for a whopping ten days. I however was completely ignorant to this fact and avoided him like the pledge. I thought he genuinely rejected me sense he dashed off and didn’t answer my question. When I finally did catch up with him I found many people cheering in shock for whatever reason. Turns out he had admitted he would like to date me for some unknown reason. I didn’t understand this at the time so I was completely crushed into small shards of melting glass pieces when I did come to the realization. We did not love one another, I am still sure of this, but we were going out for an entire ten days. We never actually hung out or chilled, or did anything at all. He just kind of acknowledge my existence, stuck some half ass gum in my hair and made sure to remind me that my life was shit occasionally throughout those days. It was when he broke up with me and I realized I’d momentarily squabbled my chance that I was truly tortured. I retired from ever going back to my only public school option therefore deciding I could easily be self taught. I have only ever know this as heartbreak.

You however maybe wondering quite deeply at this point on, why or,who or, perhaps how, I managed to become heart broken considering I haven’t been with anyone as of late. I’ve acquired many deep and meaningful connections with an assortment of types of humans so far. One of my dear friends for example displays a personality type I like to consider like minded. Their like mindedness gives my brain a magnetic pull of justification. This person is always ahead of me on deep beliefs/concepts that I try to explore making them everything I could find attractive. I guess hiding that this person is female would be silly at this point, but you’ll have to excuse my need to be discrete. I did mention that I didn’t want to desire to struggle in anyway if I didn’t absolutely need to. Having a partner who could communicate both appropriate and clearly to me some of the answers in which I often seek out hands me no reason not to want them by my side forever. I find them both attractive physically and mentally, although I am unable to give out any physical features they have, I am sure you know whom I am speaking of Pain. Possibly I could go on and on about how I have been emotionally connected to this person, however I am not witting this out to cause myself inner conflict. My opinion on this person hasn’t seeped into the quicksand, because it was ultimately I who decided to be a masochist. That’s right I chose to stomp on my completely legitimate feeling. I debated spiritually and mentally about it but inevitably asked the universe to give me the ability to truly open up to her. How would I ever get anywhere in our already existing relation ship if I am constantly clouded by emotions that I don’t have a license to drive? It seemed illogical to me for many reasons. One major cause being that we had already spoke about in some way of, us. She didn’t break my heart because I find that she does love me dearly. Quite sad isn’t it? Already it’s unfortunate, although I am entirely to blame. It is I who fell for her. It is I who didn’t stop me, and it was I who made the end choice of continuing. Even at the time of discovery of my feeling, I still felt back then that I wasn’t a lesbian. I debated long and hard with myself on the topic of whether or not I believed that I honestly enjoyed who I was as an individual. All because of this heartbreak I poisoned myself with. I have always stuck true to myself so if I did decide that I hated me, it would be a difficult task to change who I am, nearly impossible in fact. I really can’t justify disliking my character in anyway due to my overall life accomplishments.

Finally all of what I have written about will come around now into my new thoughts. I asked the world what true evil was like. The only evil I have ever found is greed. Now I know that true evil can and will come from within. Sense I am now extremely heartbroken in order to speak with a dear friend on the same level, regardless of all the circumstances, I am pissed off. I am unable to be regretful about all of it, I am unable to be to angry at her in anyway sense she has done nothing wrong and doesn’t deserve any form of ridicule, and most important I am not going to be mad at myself for this shit that I didn’t sign up for. I didn’t say I wanted to be gay, I didn’t say I wanted to love her in that way, nor lust. I in no way said yes. I asked the universe questions, I asked the universe for favors. Oh yes I fucking nearly begged for love, because that’s what I was sent to this plane for. I was sent here as a human to do human things and be human and I REFUSE to take the blame for doing what I was called to exist for. No, I caused this, I undeniably did this to myself. I am the victim of my own crime and yet I have no choice but to be entirely angry at the universe. I will thank it, I will take more, I will complete any task it asks of me, but it can’t really be frustrated at me in anyway. NO, if the universe is a friend of mine then it should allow me to be mad. More Importantly because of the truth that it is I who both caused and was effected by said heartbreak. It has ripped a black whole deep with in me. My purity ruined by myself. I see the evil. I see it. I lay my gaze on the darkness I feel, how it manifests from the this sadness. 

Edit from the Future: Blackhole of sadness not heartbreak but a deep warning from the pits of space calling to me, watch out. 

#universe #dear diary #help #heartbreak #heartache #signs #therapy

[salarta]

Tweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeets.

You’re getting more this time if you read this post.

By the way, here’s what I use as search terms when I look for these tweets.

polaris x-men

polaris marvel

lorna x-men

lorna marvel

lorna dane

On rare occasions, I’ll go outside them, but these are my regular search terms.

Just another case of Lorna included among characters as a fave.

Damn right she does!

This is the ever-cool @dipolarismoment on Twitter again! And I agree, it’d be cool for Lorna to get her PhD.

At the same time, it reminds me of a discussion I had on Twitter (you’ll notice I usually don’t include my own tweets/replies on these lists). Someone was complaining about Carol Danvers’ power grid card putting her intelligence too low. I pointed out the power grids seem to be bullshit more often than not.

If you look at the Marvel wikia for example. Polaris and Havok both have the exact same Master’s degree, yet somehow, Lorna is just “Normal” (2) intelligence while Havok gets to be “Learned” (3). Then if you look at Jean Grey, she’s ALSO “Learned” (3) even though she’s only college-level education.

In other words, power grids are just yet another place where whoever makes them and oversees them can pretend their bias toward characters (for or against) is more objective than it actually is. “Look at this concrete number, you have to write her as being only that smart, no smarter.”

I happen to like the idea of Lorna being bi.

Aside from me just simply liking it, the only partner she’s ever been allowed to have in 50 years is Havok, and her interactions with men have been tainted by that history (too much of ANXF #4-6 was pretty clearly treating Gambit like another Havok in her life). Same as how I think Lorna would be best off with a female writer, I think being in relationship with another woman might result in writers writing her better in relationship. They might stop thinking of how “masculine” (read: dominant) her partner has to look around her and try to write her as an actual character in her own right.

Awwwww yeah.

I never thought about this before, but I’ve decided that it explains why I have this song on my smartphone. I mostly listen to songs with female singers (nothing against male ones, I just like them more; may have been a result of coming of age in the time of Lilith Fair), so songs with male singers is rare for me to have on my phone.

Two more tweets about how Lorna should get a solo, and seriously, it really is time. Moreso than literally any other time in her entire character history, and moreso than a lot of other characters that have been given solo books just because someone at Marvel likes the character regardless of interest anyone has in reading them.

Not only is she more popular than ever and prominent on TV, again, it’s her 50th anniversary in October. Literally everything has aligned for this to be the time Marvel should give her a solo.

Considering they gave Scarlet Witch a solo and heavily promoted it despite low sales, and they both let Havok hijack her big return on X-Men Blue and are giving HIM team book he leads, I’m going to see the lack of a solo and nothing major for Lorna for her anniversary by October as Marvel continuing to show bias against her. She’s gone most of her existence undervalued and ignored. She deserves something for her 50th.

I continue to see this sort of request. It’s interesting how much people want Lorna and Wanda to interact - moreso Lorna coming to MCU than the other direction. I think the perception is “Lorna is a great character, she should be alongside these other great characters in a cinematic universe compared to others I could mention.”

This makes me think of how some fans go with Lorna Maximoff, which is a pretty neat name change. I don’t know how I’d feel about if that became canon somehow, but it’s interesting as fanon.

Now here’s something worth talking a bit about.

Their relationships are all complicated because Lorna only finally got Magneto being her father restored in the past decade, but she was the first actual intended child before her forced retcon and before Wanda and Pietro were revealed as Magneto’s kids (and not forced retcon to not be).

As such, it’s only in the past decade that Lorna and Pietro both using green has been an issue.

Also interesting, one version of coloring for Wanda’s first appearance gave her a green costume as well. So basically Wanda and Pietro really really wanted to be Lorna even before she existed. :P

There’s also one panel out there from the time she was on Genosha (I think an AU; been a while since I saw it) where she was wearing Wanda’s old costume in green. They loev stealing each others’ clothes and colors.

Seriously though, one final possible reason behind giving Pietro a green costume is to try to make it harder to undo their forced retcon and for fans and readers to see them all visually as siblings. It’s the same reason Enchantress was made to look like Polaris for an Axis cover, and why they tried to introduce a new “sister” called “Luminous” with blue color scheme post-Axis. They know the color coordination matters and they’re trying to undermine it cause they don’t like all of them together as a family and don’t want fans to see them that way.

I like that Lorna is specifically cited as a possible skin. And frankly, if she was, I’d actually be interested in trying out Fortnite. Right now I don’t really care. I’m in the middle of Far Cry 5 and I have a long backlog of other games to play, on top of others I still need to buy.

Last one. I see tweets fairly often of people responding to green hair by saying the person looks like Lorna. To me, that says a lot about how iconic Lorna’s become and becoming, especially with the green hair. They could’ve said she looks like Rydia (FF4), or Aphrodite IX, or Agent Brand, etc, but they went with Lorna.

Thanks for joining me for another list of tweets! See you next time, same Polaris Time, same Polaris Channel!

#polaris #lorna dane #x-men #marvel #polaris tweets

[knightofbalance-13]

https://rwby-analysis.tumblr.com/post/172350052147/im-always-a-little-annoyed-by-people-who-say-that

https://rwby-analysis.tumblr.com/post/172354627777/listen-when-it-comes-to-sexual-orientations

*Sigh* To think I’d have to do this to RWBY-Analysis of all people.

Okay, let’s go.

Sorry to disappoint you, but shipping Ilia with Sun or Jaune really isn’t the best thing to do now that she’s a confirmed lesbian. (I’m actually really not sorry.)

Why? Why is this such an issue? It’s just shipping, just an idea. It’s not like doing this suddenly means Illa turns straight or anyone is actually saying that. So why is this an issue?

Shipping straight dudes to make them gay doesn’t take away from straight representation. Media is incredibly heteronormative and queer people rarely see themselves represented. Even when we are we’re mostly just side characters, often badly written. Additionally male gay characters are way more represented in media and fandoms and queer women are often overlooked (not to even talk about all the other identities). 

... Okay, what you just described is a zero sum game, in which something can only be gained by taking away from another. Thus nothing is added. And honestly, it’s stupid to think this way about fictional concepts. Shipping is NOT real and it does NOT take away from canon. Just as well: SHIPPING IS NOT ACTIVISM. You do not get moral credit for shipping gay ships or lose it for shipping straight ships.  None of this belogs in shipping.

Yeah, Media is incredibly heteronormative...so is the human race. Washinting post says that 96% of people are heterosexual in the US, which is one of the most liberal countries in the world. (https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/volokh-conspiracy/wp/2014/07/15/what-percentage-of-the-u-s-population-is-gay-lesbian-or-bisexual/?utm_term=.e4d1dd014408) And mind you, the Washington post has a left leaning bias so they have NO reason to lie about these numbers (https://mediabiasfactcheck.com/washington-post/). So the media being heteronormative is nothing negative, especially since relating to someone SOLELY due to sexuality is just begging for tokenism.

The thing about most gay characters being poorly written...so are most straight characters. Sturgeon’s law: 99% of media is crap. It is an issue for gay characters but it’s not SOLELY their issue as well. As for the gay woman thing: Source please.

Good lesbian representation is incredibly rare. Shipping the only confirmed lesbian character on the show with a dude just because some other people ship Johnlock or whatever is just ignorant. Shipping two straight characters of the same gender doesn’t take away from straight representation because straight people just don’t have the issue of their sexual or gender identity being represented enough in media. Full stop. 

You know, if you keep referring to representation as a zero sum game: I DEMAND you go all the way on it and call out people who do ship two straight characters because in the context of a zero sum game: it actually IS taking away from straight representation and for you to not look like a massive hypocrite, you NEED to call them out. ... Or just let people ship whatever they ship because people will ship two or more characters for any numbers reasons and not just representation and not everything is about representation. But really, considering what else you’ve pulled that might be asking for too much.

Ilia is a lesbian and lesbians often face the struggle of their identity not being taken seriously, especially by men who want to get into their pants. Shipping Ilia with men now that she is a confirmed lesbian plays into that stereotype. Of course there is a difference between “in this AU Ilia is bi because I really like her with Jaune, but I know she’s a lesbian in canon and accept that” and “she shouldn’t be a lesbian, canon is wrong, she should date Jaune in canon, I will write long posts about why they will end up together”. The latter especially feeds that stereotype and it’s probably what most people see when they talk about why shipping Ilia with a man is bad.

... What stereotype are you talking about? You never referenced a stereotype, just something that happens in realm life that is only tangently connected.

And as for the two choices thing: you’re wrong. It can be anything from “I ship these two for political reasons” (you and your strawman) to “I ship these two because they look cute together” to “I ship these two because I like the story ideas” to “I ship these two due to how healthy I perceive the relationship to be” to so many more reasons I can’t name. Shippers don’t all ship for political reasons. ALMOST ALL shippers don't ship for political reasons. And I have NEVER seen someone write posts like that about Illa X Jaune so that doesn’t even make sense.

Also: Your last part basically says “Shipping Illa with a man is bad because Lesbians are fragile flowers that need to be coddled.” And that’s just stupid to me. I now you don’t mean it like that but that's what it basically boils down to.

Comparing the experience of queer people not being represented in media to straight people seeing some 14 year old draw Johnlock fanart is incredibly ignorant and maybe you should educate yourself a bit more about these issues before you start invalidating the serious concerns some queer people who face these issues every day of their life have. 

And this is the part that really ticks me. “If you don’t think like me, you’re ignorant and stupid!” That is what you said, RWBY-Analysis. That is what you said and that’s disgusting. Just as well: What if that 14 year old drew some IllaXJaune fanart, totally oblivious to all these politics and just because they think the couple is nice? Are they being wrong then? And comparing the actual persecution and harm done to LGBT people and fucking shipping is so...WRONG that I refuse to acknowledge that.

This definitely is a thing we should talk more about, but not by making stupid statements like you just did. 

“I’m right, you’re wrong and everyone must think like me in order to be right. If you don’t: you’re ignorant and wrong.” Gotcha.

But we aren’t done yet since there is a follow up.

Listen, when it comes to sexual orientations everyone is entitled to their own headcanons. Right now there is only one character whose sexuality has been confirmed by canon, and that is Ilia. For everyone else it’s all pretty much up in the open, so there is no real reason to discuss that. I personally headcanon Weiss as super duper gay, but people who headcanon her as straight are just as valid. You do you. I won’t even discuss that with you because both headcanons can happily coexist. 

Notice what she is saying: HEADCANONS/ AKA FANDOM. Not Canon, FANON. Meaning that no matter how many people ship Straight Illa, it does not change the FACT that Illa is gay. So there should be nothing else, right?

But when it comes to valid concerns members of the LGBTQ+ community have regarding how the fandom treats certain characters, especially when it comes to Ilia, the only confirmed lesbian, then that’s probably not the right moment to play the “straight people have it just as bad nowadays” card.

No, they are NOt valid concerns. Those people-YOU are not entitled to having the fandom revolve around you and bend to your will. People are allowed to do what they want in a fandom so long as it is not hurting anyone and shipping Illa X Jaune is NOT hurting anyone. It CANNOT hurt anyone but people who shouldn’t BE on the internet in the first place.

Also: Way to go ignoring how society is treating being straight and cis as a bad thing and how all straight and cis people hated all LGBT people.

I am always willing to answer questions anyone has regarding these topics, but as the question so the answer. Don’t come into my askbox complaining about concerns queer people have voiced because that doesn’t really scream “I am willing to learn about this topic and have a constructive discussion about it”, to me it just comes off as if you want to vent, and my askbox is not the right place for that. Ask politely and I’ll be polite. No question is stupid because those things are always new to anyone at some point, but ignorance is. 

...

You do understand that people who would try to force people not ship certain things are NOT necessarily gay. In fact I know quite a few straight people who would pull this crap. You just assumed they would be gay because they agreed with you.

Listen: I did respect you until recently RWBY anaylsis and this post wasn’t why I stopped. You just need to understand that people are gonna ship what they want regardless of what you say and they are NOT wrong for doing so. You need to understand that shipping is not activism.

And before you say I was being harsh: No I wasn’t. You’ll be seeing what harsh looks like in my next post.

#rwby analysis

[crystalelemental]

Gen 7 was unique for me, in that I was actually present and invested in a lot of the early reveals.  The unfortunate situation is that, during reveals, they showed the right things to get me excited, only for a lot of final forms and unknown things to miss their mark.   Alolan variants also wound up being too few and not sufficiently interesting to justify its inclusion, with Z-moves also being introduced but doing nothing to change competitive value of most things and just pushing power creep forward.  The real selling point of this generation was the story of SuMo (which was obliterated by USUM), and the inclusion of Ultra Beasts, the coolest concept the series has ever had.

TOP 15: 15) Comfey - Comfey was a Pokemon I just kinda liked at first.  But with its ability Triage, I attempted to run one in a tournament one time, and my god can this little shit put in work.  Leech Seed + priority Draining Kiss is hysterical, with Calm Mind boosting its damage, and either priority Synthesis or Aromatherapy being great final move support.  Comfey has a lot of sick tricks it can pull, which is great when combined with its cute look and beautiful shiny form.

14) Mareanie - Remember when no one knew what the hell Mareanie was? When it was accidentally revealed on the side of the Pokemon TCG box, and everyone was like "Oh man, what could that be?"  Those were fun times.   Even better was how cute this thing was.  Those times, during the leaks of Gen 7, were excellent, because we had all these cute options that I just knew I needed to get.  Unfortunately, Toxapex loses a lot of cuteness upon evolution, but it could've been a lot worse.  As we'll see soon.

13) Pikipek - Meet the bird that was going to be my favorite in the series. Pikipek was another Pokemon I was sure would make my final team.  I love woodpeckers, and having one in the game was divine.  Giving it Skill Link was even better, and announcing it would know Bullet Seed somehow improved it even more.  It was setting up for something incredible!  Too bad that, like many things this generation, it didn't live up to the potential.

12) Morelull - I adored Morelull.  It's such a cute mushroom creature.   Maybe it's just my bias, but if it was going to evolve, I had expected it to be a mushroom princess-type plant.  Something beautiful and elegant and lovely, befitting the glowing mushroom fairy child.   And...well...needless to say, it was not that.

11) Mimikyu - Does anyone not like Mimikyu?  I'm actually asking, because it seems like this is the fan favorite this gen.  Mimikyu is either precious or terrifying, and both are great.  It's either sad and lonely because it wants people to love it like they love Pikachu (or Raichu, in my case), or it loathes Pikachu with all of its being and wants to destroy it.  Either is fine.  Ghost/Fairy is a great typing, and it has perhaps the most unique ability in the game, operating as a free Substitute that doesn't prevent status.  This allows for some great setup, and allows it to be surprisingly good in competitive play as well. Which...surprised me, for sure.

10) Oricorio-Sensu - Oricorio is a neat Pokemon.  We've had other things in the past do a similar thing, most notably Castform and Rotom, but Oricorio still manages to stand out to me.  Sensu form in particular is my favorite, being a Ghost/Flying type with a really elegant design.   It's a beautiful bird, and a great Pokemon visually, but unfortunately lacks necessary coverage and stats to be competitive.

9) Stakataka - You know what's awesome?  Ultra Beasts.  They are the coolest thing to come out of this series in ages.  Stakataka, as a newer one, is basically just a sentient brick wall, where each brick is an individual life form, all operating together to be bigger than their opponents.  While I am disappointed that there is not a pre-evolution that is a single brick called a Taka, I suppose this is fine.   Rock/Steel is a notoriously terrible typing, but somehow, against all odds, its stats are set just right, and it has access to Trick Room and Gyro Ball, in order to blast through almost anything in the game.  As if that weren't enough, its shiny form is a solid gold brick wall.   Incredible.

8) Ribombee line - Cutiely is another of those defining Pokemon that got me invested.  Thankfully, unlike several others, its evolution was just as adorable. Ribombee is such a precious Pokemon, with its little scarf and pollen gathering nature.  I just adore how cute and wonderful this line is.

7) Tsareena line - Talk about disappointment.  I adore Tsareena.  The whole evolutionary line.  But when it was revealed, and when we got a look at its ability that shuts down priority, I thought we'd finally done it.  This was the moment that Tsareena would save Grass types.   Fast, strong, able to shut down priority, it could be amazing!  And then we see what it does...and its bulky offense. Grass...cannot do bulky offense.  We've tried this.  A lot.  It doesn't work.  Power Whip is too inaccurate while Trop Kick is too weak.  High Jump Kick is damaging, but runs a lot of risks with imperfect accuracy, and is useless in Doubles.  Even Play Rough is inaccurate.  All this, on top of a middling 72 base speed, which is just too fast to even use with Trick Room...and it all becomes a massive disappointment from the competitive side, which is the ONLY reason she doesn't rank higher.  Her design is excellent, the concept of a queen of fruits is interesting, I just really wish they'd let her be a bit more powerful.

6) Tapu Lele - Had you asked in the week before the game came out what my favorite Pokemon was, Tapu Lele would've been the answer without question. It's adorable, Psychic/Fairy typing is great, and the description of it made it sound like it had tremendous healing potential that it shared with others in a fickle manner that could cause excess harm, with its battle role being implied to be a mix of healing and status play.  And then it was revealed what it did.  And it's hyper-offense through and through.  I still love it!  But the concept of a Pokemon that worked through massive healing potential and status play to wear down an opponent would've been a lot more interesting than something whose stats mirror Gardevoir's but a bit higher, but had a god-tier ability.  It's ultimately complicit in Terrain Wars, which is the new Weather Wars from Gen 5, which I don't think many people are happy with, but I still love it just the same, even if its description was an absolute lie.

5) Pheromosa - More UBs!   Pheromosa is a pretty bug creature that will kick the shit out of you.   It's stupid fast, even outpacing Mega Alakazam, and has incredible offensive presence on both sides of the spectrum as well.  It does lack for defense, so priority can be a problem, but that's a small price to pay for having such excellent coverage options and such a great spread of stats.  Plus, again, it's very pretty, and has a nice shiny that even put on pants.

4) Lurantis - Lurantis is one of those Pokemon that I feel sets the entire feeling for a generation.   The instant I saw it, I knew I would train one, no matter what. It's such a beautiful Pokemon, and I love it dearly.  But, again, it kind of defines the competitive focus of this generation as well.  It's slow as hell and bulky offense.  Look, Gen 7, I get it.  More than power creep, speed creep has been running rampant in your game.  Megas across the two sets of games last gen went from base 100 to base 110 because 100 just wasn't cutting it anymore, and new megas needed to be ahead of the curve (even if you fucked over Gardevoir to give Gallade better tools, again making the male version the better one you shits).  But bulky offense is dead.  You killed it yourself.  Damage outputs are too damn high, boosting moves are so extreme that one boost is enough for several Pokemon to just sweep outright, and because of how EVs work you are required to pick a role.  Bulky Offense for something whose best stat value is 105 is terrible, and it's never going to work.  Maybe with Trick Room.  Maybe.  But even then we run into the problem where it's a Grass type, and is therefore awful in competitive by default.  It's a shining example of what needs to be addressed in competitive, because outside of grass being shafted and the stat spread being awful given the state of things, it has incredible tools that should help it to function.

3) Primarina line - What an excellent starter Pokemon.  Popplio can look a little doofy, but it's still cute.  And each evolution only ramps up the beauty.  Brionne is precious, and Primarina is one of the most fabulous Pokemon I've ever seen. Water/Fairy is always an excellent typing, and it's surprisingly straight-forward as a raw special attacker.  It also has an emphasis as a singer, which I always appreciate.  If it weren't for my favoritism for foxes, Primarina would easily be my favorite starter in the series.

2) Celesteela - More UBs!  This time, it's the 30ft rocket child, Celesteela! Celesteela is one that I loved based on design, but wasn't quite as high-ranked initially.  What propelled it upward was battle performance.  It is such a wall, and unlike some UBs, has a moveset that actually feels distinctly alien.  Leech Seed?  Giga Drain and Flamethrower?  On a Steel/Flying type?  It's the weirdest thing, and by extension, the coolest thing.  Celesteela is amazing, and I wish other UBs followed its lead and showed off some bizarre and alien moves.

1) Nihilego - The ultimate being.  Nihilego is, without question, my favorite Pokemon right now.  As an Ultra Beast, it's already doing great on concept alone.  It's an alien jellyfish monster that's parasitic in nature, attaching to other living beings for sustenance, but being toxic to most things to which it attaches. It has no clear-cut consciousness, being more reactive than anything, though apparently acts much like a young girl, for whatever that means.  It's an adorable Pokemon, too, and carries the incredibly unique Rock/Poison typing, technically being the first-ever Poison legend, if you count UBs are legends.  It's an unbelievably cool, creepy, and adorable Pokemon, and I love everything about it. I just wish it had gotten a signature move or something that made it seem more alien.  All its moves are standard, despite it having an atypical typing and bizarre stat spread.  Maybe some day they'll introduce new, unique moves for each UB, but somehow I doubt it.  Pokemon Company is really bad at changing things that need to be changed retroactively.

BOTTOM 10: 10) Incineroar - Starting out, it's the final stage evolution almost no one wanted, Incineroar.  While not inherently bad, and at least avoiding the Fire/Fighting curse, Incineroar's main problem is as a final stage to Litten.  Litten is cute and wonderful.  Litten is also a cat.  A species that, for some reason, is consistently awful in battle in this series.  Incineroar should've been an exception.  Should have.  Instead, it's a wrestler in a cat suit, losing the charm of a cute cat, and somehow is still not all that good competitively.  Intimidate will help it, but it's lacking in the ability to really impress with anything it does.  Combined with the rampant disappointment over a cute starter becoming a weird, tough heel wrestler, I think it definitely earns a spot here.

9) Toucannon - However what's more upsetting to me is what happened to my dear Pikipek!  Toucannon is fine on its own.  You want a toucan?  Great, go for it.  But don't make my precious woodpecker child your angry toucan that's slow as hell and has no benefit from Skill Link.  Pikipek should have been a final form that perfected the Cinccino strategy.  Instead, we get...whatever Toucannon is doing.  It's one of the greatest disappointments of this generation, and considering the complaints I had in the top 15, that's saying a lot.  However, I won't place it any lower, simply because Toucannon, on its own merits, is cool.  I like its signature move, even if it's bad.   The design is perfectly fine.  But it being attached to Pikipek as the final form is devastating, and earns it this spot, in the same way as Incineroar.

8) Togedemaru - My usual complaint about regional rodents.  Togedemaru is more battle-worthy, but that almost frustrates me more because it's just not that interesting.  It's also associated with Sophocles, which means it loses any charm it could've had by being not related to him at all.

7) Crabominable line - My long-standing bias against Fighting types.   Ice/Fighting is a unique typing, but it does little to impress me on this one.  It's slow and lumbering and kind of unimpressive in design.  I guess it's supposed to be like the abominable snowman, but...why is it a crab?  I dunno, I'm probably being petty, but I don't like it.

6) Bruxish - Imagine being a person whose favorite type is Psychic type.   Imagine seeing all these really cute Pokemon being revealed, and building up your team, and just waiting for the Psychic type that will blow your mind.  Now imagine the first psychic type they reveal is Bruxish.  This weirdly colored fish with odd lips and and teeth.  I immediately decided to use the next revealed Psychic if I could, because this wasn't getting on the team.

5) Oranguru - Oops, and here's the next.  It's a monkey!  You love those, right Steve?  Oh wait, I hate them.  Oranguru does nothing for me, but frustrated me more than Bruxish because somehow, after the first Psychic wasn't interesting, the second was somehow worse.  It should not have been like this.

4) Passimian - But what do I dislike more than inelegant Psychic types? Fighting types.  Passimian is a sport-themed monkey that is also a fighting type. Honestly, we should be stunned it's not #1, but if there's anything I dislike more than something completely opposed to what I like, it's something that changes what I enjoy into something I hate.

3) Ultra-Necrozma - In the same way Lando-T counts as its own thing because of differences between forms, Ultra Necrozma counts as its own separate entity that is terrible.  I debated Zeraora, because I already don't like it, but that seemed unfair (and also would not rank this high).  I debated putting this above a few things at least, but I feel like it deserves this spot.  Because it sucks. Psychic/Dragon legend.   You all wanted to complain about Solgaleo/Lunala being Psychic-type, and I agreed because yeah, that is a common legend typing and variety is nice, but how did this thing get away with both Psychic and Dragon but no one else is complaining?  That's literally the two most common legend typings at the same time!  It's because it's Dragon and you all love Dragons, isn't it?  Hypocrites.  The ability is really only good in specific situations, requiring super-effective coverage to truly shine, which means there's probably plenty that can wall it based on coverage gaps or 4 move slot syndrome.  It's also one point of speed away from matching things like Mewtwo, meaning it's going to be easily outpaced by certain threats and annihilated.  Its signature Z-move also does absolutely nothing interesting beyond high damage, reminding us all how worthless that mechanic was in the grand scheme.  Oh but, don't worry, in the game it'll be way higher than your average party level by this point in the game, get +1 to all stats, and have stupid good coverage options that allows it to OHKO everything you have all the time, unless you abuse Rotom Powers, so if you don't like that mechanic, too bad, get used to them, fucker.  And this isn't even truly tearing into the design.  From a weird alien monster, to a cool form where its armor has fused with the box legends to control them, and finally...glowy dragon. Riveting.  And to cap it off, its role in USUM is fairly meaningless, and it takes away focus from the far more interesting situations with Lillie's family, and instead brings all attention to "LOOK AT THIS COOL DRAGON!" that is not really that cool at all.  Without the focus on the characters that made SuMo work, you can basically say that USUM being bad was largely this thing's fault, because it's the kind of monster that's all flash and no substance.

2) Bewear line - UGH.  Okay, red pandas are adorable.  So the Pokemon based on an adorable thing should be adorable, right?  It is not.  It is horrific, and it's based on a "mascot" that wears a suit.  It's dead stare, obscene strength where it's noted to be able to snap people in half from hugs, and generally unsettling nature and just...awful.  I really don't like it.  Stufful is at least a little cuter, but the weird tag sticking out of its butt is a constant reminder that this is a creature which should not be.  But wait!  This is only #2!  What could possibly be worse than something that is a crime against nature?

1) Shiinotic - The complete and utter ruination of a Pokemon I could not have been more excited for.  Morelull is such a cute and precious creature, and it evolved into this horrific nightmare alien baby in a literal diaper.  Why would you take such an adorable and lovely creature, and turn it into this?  I have never felt such visceral hatred for a final form of an evolutionary line in all my life.  Morelull should've been beautiful.  And if we hadn't shifted to mega evolutions and Z-moves and all this, maybe I could've hoped one day for a Gen 4 scenario that offered different evolution paths or further evolution.   At least then it could've been a Golbat situation, or a Glalie.  But instead, this is it, probably forever. Morelull will only ever be this freak-ass alien baby in a literal diaper, and will never realize the beautiful potential it had.  Tragic.

#regional pokedex opinions #alola pokedex

[recentanimenews]

INTERVIEW: So I’m a Spider, So What? Voice Actors Shun Horie and Kaito Ishikawa

The upcoming Crunchyroll Originals series So I’m a Spider, So What? will be making its way to Crunchyroll in January 2021 and to celebrate the upcoming release, today we are publishing some exclusive interviews with the voice cast of the show! If you want to check out the original Japanese interview, you can do so right here. In this interview, voice actors Shun Horie (Kazuya Kinoshita in Rent-a-Girlfriend, Enta Jinnouchi in Sarazanmai) and Kaito Ishikawa (Naofumi Iwatani in The Rising of the Shield Hero, Tenya Iida in My Hero Academia) talk about their upcoming roles as Shun and Hugo, giving voice acting advice to each other, and more! Also be sure to check out the interview with “I (Kumoko)” voice actor Yuuki Aoi right here!

  The translated text follows.

    The TV anime So I’m a Spider, So What? is set to begin airing in January 2021. We’ve interviewed the main cast for a special program to be aired right before the series premiere. Our second interview features Shun Horie-san, the voice of Shun, and Kaito Ishikawa-san, the voice of Hugo! What drama will unfold between Shun, with his overwhelming sense of justice, and Hugo, who sees him as his enemy?

  What was your first impression of the series?

  Horie: I read it out of a personal interest. In most isekai stories, only the main character gets reincarnated in a new world, so seeing all the main character’s classmates also get reincarnated was new to me. It’s divided between Kumoko’s side of the story and the hero’s side, and it’s also interesting how the two storylines frequently seem like they should overlap but don’t. It was like reading two fun stories in one.

  Ishikawa: I also thought the way it was divided between Kumoko’s perspective and the hero’s was really creative. It’s fun to think about which side of the story you should give more of your focus to, plus it’s interesting to see what kind of foreshadowing happens and to imagine how it’ll come into play later. It’s definitely a story that keeps you wondering what’ll happen next.

  Shun (voiced by Shun Horie)

  Then what impressions do you both have of Horie-san’s character, Shun?

  Horie: Shun is the fourth prince of the Kingdom of Analeit, and both before and after reincarnating, he’s the type whose strong sense of justice won’t let him ignore anyone who’s weak or in need. In his previous life, though, he didn’t immediately condemn people who were bullying others, but tried to approach everyone openly and without any bias. That made me think he was a very kind guy who treated others as equals.

Ishikawa: I actually auditioned for Shun’s part as well, so Horie-kun’s Shun seemed a lot softer and gentler than I was expecting. He does have the spirit for saving the weak and the strength to follow through on it, not to mention lots of friends and acquaintances who adore him, so at a glance, he seems like this amazing hero. But he also has the naivete and artlessness of an ordinary kid with a strong sense of justice who just happened to obtain incredible power.　

Horie: Right, the sound director told me about that during my audition. I tried to portray him as the archetypal hero, strong and gallant with high enthusiasm, and the sound director asked me to bring down the “strong” quality a bit. During episode 1’s recording, too, I went through a lot of adjustments with the director and other crew to make sure Shun would sound like his own brand of hero, not too strong but not too weak.　

  Ishikawa: I didn’t know that.

  Horie: Yeah. I was also told to play up 　his admiration for his older brother Julius a bit more. Once, during recording, the director asked me why I chose Shun’s part to try out for, and my answer was, “Because I seem to have a fitting voice for people with brother complexes” (lol).

  (All laugh)

  Horie: The hero side of him is important too, but they also wanted to portray the depth of his love for Julius. For that reason, I’ve been putting more emphasis on the overflowing love that Shun has, and especially his admiration for Julius.

  Hugo (voiced by Kaito Ishikawa)

  And what about Ishikawa-san’s character, Hugo?

  Ishikawa: I’m trusting that no one will get the wrong idea when I say my first impression was, “I really don’t like this guy (lol)!”

  Horie: You’ve been saying that for a long time (lol).

  Ishikawa: In total contrast with Shun, he’s an extremely self-righteous, self-obsessed guy. You really get the sense that he’s the kind of character who was designed to inspire disgust and rub people the wrong way just by watching him. As an example of one finer detail, I make sure his chewing sounds are really pronounced whenever he’s eating something. I feel like the director really wanted viewers to feel repulsed by him, and make sure everyone would perceive Shun as “good” and Hugo as “bad.” As a prince, Hugo has grown addicted to his own remarkable talents, and it’s made him arrogant, so he seems less like a mere rival and more like “THE bad guy.”

Horie: He definitely seems evil when I see him normally, but when I look at him from Shun’s perspective, I also kind of pity him. No matter how hard he tries to become stronger, there’s always going to be a hero he can never surpass, and that must be a really painful way to live life. Although Shun’s fairness and lack of bias might just irritate Hugo even more...

Ishikawa: Yeah, from Shun’s perspective, Hugo might just be someone who’s worthy of pity. But as far as Hugo’s part goes, it’s really important that all the viewers are repulsed by him, so I’ve been trying to act him out in a way that no one could have any sympathy for. To put it another way, I think it’s important to not be overly conscious of how he works and what he thinks. We already have Shun as the embodiment of goodness, and then there’s Kumoko with her positivity. If I portray him as a redeemable character, it would throw off that balance, and it’s quite clear that his bitterness toward Shun accumulates over the course of the story, so I’m taking great care to portray him as an evil character.

      Since the two of you are senpai and kouhai from the same agency, do you ever consult one another for advice or guidance during your recording sessions?

Horie: I don’t usually ask any of my senpai for advice, including Ishikawa-san. I tend to feel like I need to find all my answers for myself. What about you, Ishikawa-san?

Ishikawa: I’m the opposite. If there’s anything I’m not clear on, I’ll immediately ask for guidance. I’ve started to enjoy finding answers for myself more and more, but back when I had just made my debut, I’d go out for drinks with my senpai after every recording session and say things like, “This is the kind of expression I’m going for. Why isn’t it coming out that way? What am I doing wrong?”

Horie: Oh, wow!

Ishikawa: I tried out lots of different things, even stealing my senpai’s techniques, in the sense that I wanted to know exactly how they construct their acting. Once I knew their method, I could try it for myself and find out whether it gave my acting the senpai’s flavor or my own flavor. And if I didn’t like the result, I’d think up a new method. In a way, it’s kind of like playing a video game.

  Does everyone on the hero’s side record together?

  Ishikawa: Yes, Horie-kun and I have been recording together from the start.

  Horie: We also frequently record with Kitamura Eri-san, who plays Fei. Given the state of the world right now, we don’t all get to record together every time, but having our recording sessions separate from Yuuki (Aoi)-san, who plays Kumoko, actually worked out well since it made it easier for us to become immersed in the world that the hero’s side experiences.

Ishikawa: Apparently, keeping us separate from the actors on Kumoko’s side was what the sound director wanted in the first place.

  Horie: I’m excited to see how the two sides will eventually connect.

    Are there any characters on the hero’s side that interest you?

  Horie: Both as Shun and as a viewer, I’d have to say Hugo interests me the most. Seeing how the conflict between them unfolds creates a lot of drama, especially early in the series. Other than him... I guess I’d say Yuri.

  Ishikawa: Yuri is scary!

  Horie: She’s the one that seems the most dangerous to me. She’s a follower of the Word of God religion, but she’s a bit of a fanatic. I kind of enjoy what a mental case she is, though (lol).

Ishikawa: In terms of contrasting personality traits, I think Shun’s younger sister Sue is cute, too. She normally comes across as cool and aloof, but she’s very attached to Shun, calling him “Nii-sama” all the time.

  Horie: She’s very wary of other girls around Shun. But you know, they’re all classmates, so sometimes I wish she’d stop acting so threatening toward them and try to get along.

  Ishikawa: I’m also interested in Katia, who used to be a boy but reincarnated as a girl. I’m looking forward to seeing what happens to the male spirit within her as she goes through life as a girl, what happens between her and Shun since they’re together so often, and how Higashiyama (Nao)-san will act out her thoughts and feelings.

  Thank you very much. Lastly, could you share a message with the fans who are looking forward to the anime?

  Ishikawa: As you could guess from the title, So I’m a Spider, So What? is about a spider and her fierce efforts to get by. I’m looking forward to seeing how a tiny spider’s battles might appear on the screen, and I hope all the fans will, too. Also, there’s a lot of drama unfolding in the relationships on the hero’s side, and I hope everyone will watch for that, as well.

  Horie: I think this is going to be a completely new sort of isekai series that follows two storylines at the same time. Each episode is limited to a 30-minute time slot, but the story is so dense that it surpasses that limitation, so I hope everyone will look forward to seeing how each of the characters contributes to the richness of the story.

      Kyle Cardine is an Editor for Crunchyroll. You can find his Twitter here.

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

[exomatseumnida]

Hello! Can you write a Kai scenario when he and his friend like you but he gives you up for his best friend? You see his friend as a brother? He discovers the truth that his friend doesn't like you at all and just wants to steal you from him?You're confused between the two guys' intention but you secretly like Kai?Thank you.

Here you go! I named the other friend Seunghyun and he’s an OC since you wanted it to be ‘a friend’ so lets assume that he’s not an idol. Is this fluff? LMAO i dont even know. It looked normal to me. Not really cringe worthy but anyway, enjoy!

Who knew having two male best friends is such a goodfeeling? It is almost like having two bodyguards, except the other one wasalways busy and seemed like he is the one who needs a bodyguard service.

“Hey, (Y/N), can I have my sweater back? I need it for myairport fashion” Kai said as he went inside your bedroom. “But, I was going towear it tomorrow” you pouted but eyes glued on the television with your handpopping a popcorn in your mouth.

“You can use mine. I have tons of it.” Your other bestfriend, Seunghyun said and stole the popcorns in your hand. “You’re going togrow fat if you keep eating this” he whispered on your ear and you glared athim. Just as you were about to hit him, Kai went out from your room. “No it’sokay, you can have it” he made his way towards the two of you and sat down onthe floor next to you.

You turned and looked at him “I thought you have practicetoday before you start off the tour?”. “Nah, they gave us a day rest before allthe shits happen” he shrugged. “But you love the shits” Seunghyun munched thepopcorn. “Give me back my popcorn” you tried to reach the bowl but damn hisheight.

Kai eyed the two of you. Clearly disturbed by the suddencloseness. He shook his head, his bangs a bit messy by the movement he made buthe needed to get the jealousy out of him. Just friends. They are just friends.He and you are just friends.

Ouch. The fact that you and him are only friends didn’treally help him out of this envy.

It’s not like you are not used to being apart with Kai, itsjust that every time you have to send him away, it breaks your heart. Beingaway from one of the boys made you sad but it is his job and his dream, you’rejust a friend who keeps supporting him at the side.

“Bye Jongin. I’m going to miss you” you wave at him as hewears his sneakers. “We’re going to miss you” Seunghyun appeared on your sideand draped his hand around your shoulder, pulling you close. Kai looked up,unaware of the male’s presence in your house. He glared at the latter’s hand onyour shoulder but then looked down, not wanting to be obvious about it.

“Bye” he said, rather than his usual hugs and annoyingfaces. “Tell Chanyeol I love him!” you squealed as your bias cross your mind. “Yeahyeah, I will” and with that, Kai left.

You pouted as Kai’s silhouette was no longer visible in youreyes and sighed. You closed the door and made your way towards the kitchen andstart taking out ingredients to cook dinner.

A habit of yours to cook whenever you’re upset or stressed.

“Yes, finally you’re feeding me. I need Jongin to leave usas many times as possible so that I can taste your food” Seunghyun rubbed hishand and a smile plastered on his face. You shot him a death glare and continuedto cook. “Yah, help me or get out from my house” you said as you continue towash the vegetables. “Wow, someone’s moody. I wonder If I leave for a tour too,would you be catering for an event?” he stood next to you and helped with thefish. “I might just stuff your mouth with this raw fish” you rolled your eyes.

Later that night, you and Seunghyun video called Kai sincehe sent a short message that he has arrived at his hotel.

“Hey, Kkamjong!” Seunghyun placed the phone near his face,blocking you from seeing Kai. “Yah, that’s my phone! Give it back” you climbedon top of him and took the phone away. “Oh my god, (Y/N). You really shoulddiet” he groaned. Kai laughed at the two of you bickering.

“Why are you still here, Seunghyun? Its getting late inKorea” Kai looked at his watch. “Yeah, (Y/N) says she wanted a company tonightso I’m sleeping in” he yawned.

Kai froze and almost couldn’t fathom what he said. You andSeunghyun alone in your house atnight? He really doesn’t like the idea of it.

“Oh hey, nice sweater you got there. Man, the fans’ airportpreviews are really good. I wish (Y/N) could take AT LEAST a decent picture of me” Seunghyun glanced at you who wasin the toilet, prepping your face before going to sleep. “Shut up” you shouted.

Oh yeah, Kai had to borrow Seunghyun’s sweater because hereally wanted to wear one. He actually intended to wear his sweater that youalways wear because he wanted to smell the faint vanilla scent that you alwayshave but he couldn’t resist you. He is more than happy to give everything he hasif it makes you happy.

“Seunghyun-ah” he spoke, grabbing the boy’s attention back. “Hmm?”Seunghyun raised his eyebrow. “Nevermind” he smiled tiredly.

Although you are close with both of the dorky guys, both ofthem are very different. Seunghyun is more the bubbly kind of guy meanwhile Kaiis a bit secretive and more relaxed. He’d take everything in and he didn’t wantto burden anyone. Sometimes, he’d let something out of his chest and sometimeshe’d be quiet and just chuckle and leave small comments about something.

And these days he has been acting the latter. You didn’twant to bother his thoughts since you thought that maybe he was stressed outbecause of the constant practices and his tour. Or maybe he told Seunghyunabout it already because you know, men stuff.

You pressed on your door knob and pushed your apartment dooropen. You saw a familiar pair of shoes, well two familiar pair of shoes andsmiled. “Jongin?” you poked your head inside the living room and there he was,playing some video games with Seunghyun.

His arrival and departure are really unexpected. He couldarrive in Korea at the least expected time and leave the very next hour but youare used to the sudden visits from these two monkeys. Your home is probablytheir second home. Okay maybe Kai’s third home because his dorm is probably hissecond home.

Kai was always deep in his thoughts while he was away. Hemessed up a few choreographies making the EXO members worried about him. Heclearly couldn’t get you out of his mind. Sure he’d miss you every time he hasto part away from you but this time, he longed to see you. Rather than dealingwith his feelings, he just wanted to be cool about it and pretend like nothinghappens.

You walked over to the boys with a bowl of chips and placedit in front of them. Kai looked up and was surprised by your presence. He wasjust away for a few weeks and you already look so different. A good different. The faint vanilla hitshis nostrils and he smiled. His favorite scent.

“You dyed your hair” he pointed out and you looked at him. “Yeah,I got tired of black” you smiled and sat down. “Yes! I won!” Seunghyun held hishands in the air and popped a chip in his mouth.

You rolled your eyes at him. “I hope you have that reactiontoo when you achieved your so-called dream to receive a first class degree” yousmirked at him. Kai laughed and added more remarks to provoke him which laterresulted to Seunghyun pouting and going inside your room and studied for hisfinals.

You shook your head and laughed. Kai stole a glance at you.Both of you were so close after a few weeks he was gone. He could feel hisheart beat increases and heat crept up on his cheeks when your fingers brushedhis hands.

He was so curious about you while he was away. Alwaysdebating whether he should confess or not. He would be away again in a fewdays, if he doesn’t do it now then Seunghyun will.

He sighed and mustered up his courage. It was only the twoof them in the living room since Seunghyun closed the door.

“Hey (Y/N)?” Kai asked making you turn to look at him. “Yea?”you raised your eyebrows.

“Do you like Seunghyun?” Kai asked, probably risking hisfriendship by asking this question. “Wha- me? Like Seunghyun? That is like themost impossible thing to happen ever in this life” you scoffed.

“Great, cause I like you” he looked straight in your eyesmaking you froze. “What?” you blinked. He gulped and said it again, “I like you”.

Everything seems to stop around you. Your breathing hitchedwhen you see the seriousness and sincerity in his eyes. You have been friendswith him long enough to know everything about him but him confessing to you was…unpredictable.

Then everything makes sense. That was why he was acting abit different.

“I thought you like Seunghyun that’s why I didn’t dare tosay anything. Besides I was rarely by your side and Seunghyun is clearly makingyou happier than I am” Kai looked down. “Seunghyun is just like a brother to meI can never like him. I’ve said this before to Seunghyun that I might bedeveloping some feelings towards you but I decided to shrug it off” youexplained.

“Well, if I confess now, do you still like me?” Kai lookedup again. “Silly. Of course I still like you” you chuckled as he rubbed thenape of his neck.

“Finally. I am tired of seeing both of you stealing glancesat each other and you, Jongin, don’t give her that look like you are about topounce on her” Seunghyun pointed at Kai with his spoon after he licked the icecream off. “Geez, I went to get ice cream and you guys didn’t bother to sayanything” he clicked his tongue and managed to dodge a flying pillow that Kaithrew at him. “I didn’t look at her like that” Kai laughed at the latter.

#exo #exo scenarios #exo kai #Kai scenarios #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff #fluff scenarios #kim jongin

[jillmckenzie1]

How I Got Out of My Toxic Relationship

It’s 2:01am. And, I want to go to sleep. Truly, I do. But, my mind is mulling over the current state of affairs in the Supreme Court nominations. I spent the better part of this afternoon really listening to the testimonies of both Christine Blasey Ford and Brett Kavanaugh.

But, let me be clear, this post has nothing to do with politics.

No, this story is about a 34-year-old female who is finding herself inside a conversation that is questioning whether or not women are truthful when it comes to explicating their experiences. And, be it good or bad, I am now finding a way to attach conscious thoughts to emotions that I felt two, five, ten years ago. Because, what is resonating with me so clearly right now is the word “embarrassed.” Women have chosen silence for fear of not being taken seriously, for fear of being wrong, for fear of saying something that the world may perceive as being different than what is actually true.

So, at 2:01am (make it 2:04am), I’m being smacked in the face by two distinct realizations.

One. We, as humans, love to create stories around how, we think, other people are receiving our humanness. These metaperceptions are generally tainted by our own view of ourselves and our inept ability to reason that no two people in this world think exactly the same way; therefore, our claim that “most people” will feel a certain way about our actions is not founded in any truth. And, worst of all, it silences us from sharing the most authentic version of ourselves and chasing our happiest state of existence because we decide the outcome of a choice before giving ourselves an

opportunity to actually experience it.

Two. There is a deep running understanding in our society that men’s overall treatment of women is poor, but silently accepted. My evidence for this statement is visible in the language that most, if not all, of my male friends use when they speak of having children: “If I ever have a daughter, I’m never letting her leave the house” or “I hope I have a son so that I only have to worry about one male; if I have a daughter, then I have to worry about all males.” Yes, there is a reason for the adage of “daddy’s girl,” but I want to suggest that there is something much deeper happening here, and that depth exists because I spent 99.9% of my current life being completely unphased by such irrational statements. I smiled and I nodded because I, too, would deductively reason the same ideology. Because, gawd, yes, being a woman is really fucking hard sometimes. But, for adults to be able to verbalize that they don’t want to raise girls because they don’t want to carry those girls’ burdens, which are completely centered on how males treat them, is worthy of our analysis and attention. Most importantly, it is worthy of us doing something to change that stigma.

Side note. I have never been a man, so yes, the above comments are jaded by my own bias. And, this is not all to say that women don’t do shitty things. Because, wow, we do some crappy stuff, people. What I’m attempting to do is articulate my experience. I am trying to give a voice to my testimony. Because, for a long time, I willingly bit my tongue. Out of insecurity. Out of fear. I was in constant pursuit of affirmation that what I was experiencing was real. That I was really hurting. That my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me. And, if it were true that I was really hurting, then I wanted affirmation that I had a viable reason to hurt. That I wasn’t being soft. Or irrational. Or stupid.

So, I want to unpack a relationship from my life that, for many years, brought me a lot of shame. I want to stand here without reservation to exist only inside of this story long enough to tell it and then also to acknowledge that I was able to walk away from it a far better person for having been there.

Observation Point (Zion National Park)

Let’s begin. If one could earn points in dating, I’m quite convinced I would be in the negatives. I just do not have the genetic makeup or the desire to play the games that, it seems, are characteristic to successful courtship. I operate in two speeds in every facet of my life, and the same is true for people. If I like you, I will love you. If I love you, I will ride or die with you. This ladder is not exclusive to romantic relationships, and I must clarify that I am inclined to have three deep relationships in my life than to have 30 acquaintances. If given a choice, I’ll take depth over breadth. On the flipside, if I don’t like you, I will waste no time with you. Literally. Zero time. So, I repeat, I suck at dating. I fall hard. Or, I peace out quickly. And, a year ago, I would have felt a need to apologize for that. But, I have learned that an apology is altogether unnecessary. I am allowed to be this way because this way is not wrong. The other way is not right. I must simply be conscious of this quality and recognize where I am open to get hurt myself and to hurt other people.

I wish I had gleaned this awareness much earlier on in life, but I suppose this is the joy of aging. If you follow me on Instagram, then you know that I talk a lot about having been in a toxic marriage. I also talk a lot about being out of a toxic marriage. While the vulnerability piece does not intimidate me, I often find it hard to shed light on the actions. For a long time, I struggled to use words like “domestic violence” because I had convinced myself that I needed two black eyes in order to bear this cross.

I am here to tell you that you do not, in fact, have to suffer from any type of physical abuse to be a victim in your relationship. In fact, I recall many nights where I begged for a swift right hook to the face if only to make the verbal abuse end.

And, at this point, we should probably go back to the beginning. When he and I played on the same co-ed indoor soccer team, and we’d all go drink beers after our games, and he’d always offer to be my chauffer. I wasn’t in a place in my life to have a serious relationship. Without turning this into a 5000-word diatribe, I will admit that I had recently been divorced. Yes, I got married when I was freshly 21-years-old to a guy in the military who convinced me that it would be a financially smart decision (don’t do this, ladies). Our hot mess college relationship translated into a hot mess marriage, and we were divorced within the year. In all sincerity, it feels like so many lives ago that I barely even recognize it as being a part of my story, but I also know that we were incredibly immature and lacked nearly every possible tool to “make it” (as they say).

For clarification, this guy will not be referenced further, and any mention of my ex-husband will be directly related to soccer guy from the beginning of the previous paragraph.

Said soccer player was also not in a position for a relationship. He was living in Colorado for work with every intention of one day moving back to Ohio to be near his family. So, I moved to Portland for a job, and six months later he moved back to Louisville for work. I didn’t think we’d speak again (for the record, these are always the famous last words).

We didn’t speak. For about six months. But, he slowly crept back into my inbox (I’m going to age myself and point out that “sliding into the DMs” was not yet a thing). At the end of the school year (hashtag, teacher life) I moved to Kentucky. He immediately prefaced my move with the statement, “I can’t call you my girlfriend.” Perfect. Great. We’ve just been talking every day for the last six months. That makes sense. His inability to commit all along should have been the only red flag that I ever needed, but my damn diehard personality (coupled with my 20-something naiveté) would not let it go.

So, this dance continued for over two years in the Bluegrass State. I became super close with his family, and we honored the fact that they were very religious and did not believe that living together was socially acceptable. We hung out every night, but there were times when I wouldn’t stay with him, and while I believed at that point that he partied a little too hard for his own good, I wrote it off to the fact that he grew up in a strict household and never drank until he was 21-years-old.

It’s a phase, I said. It will pass, I said.

When we got married, I was really exposed to another side of him that I had only glimpsed in our dating life. And, before I even fast forward to this whole marriage status, I want to point out that I clearly felt in my heart that I was making the wrong choice the day that I walked down the aisle. Yes. Nothing sat well with me in the months leading up to this spectacle. But, I had already said yes, and the invitations were sent, and people had RSVP’d, and then, fuck, they were all sitting right there waiting for some grandiose entrance from yours truly. I didn’t want to let anyone down.

Hear that. At the cost of my own life, I created a story of what people would think about me if I backed out on such a commitment, so I followed through because I assumed that the story that they created would paint me in a negative light.

As imagined, it was never what I wanted or needed it to be. We immediately started going to counseling. Our therapist fired him because she said he had a drinking problem that she was not expertly trained to handle. He chastised me for continuing to go see someone who was dumber than him. I went to Al-Anon. I worked the twelve steps. I found a mentor. I begged him to get help.

And, again, I struggled with defining a word that carried so much weight: alcoholism. He was successful. He was well-liked. He didn’t wake up slinging booze from the side of his bedstand.

No. It was a silent fall. It was the seventh shot of Fireball at 1:37am, already eight beers deep, where his eyes would glaze over, and I would quietly hug myself on the walk home in fear of saying just one wrong thing. Because, I had learned that to fight this beast in its natural element was nothing short of a recipe for pure terror. I stopped feeling. I stopped going out altogether. I stopped drinking. Because, how can you beg someone to stop doing something that you are, in fact, doing yourself? Most importantly, I needed control of my every breathe. There was not a single moment that I could lapse on my judgment.

Because, when I lapsed, when I lost my patience or wisdom or sanity, I would unfurl every ounce of pain that was hiding under my skin. I would scream and cry out for every city street that I had ever walked home alone: Nashville, Louisville, San Diego, Cabo San Lucas, Chicago, Nasau, Denver. I can’t recall a single city we visited together that doesn’t also have a story about my 3:00am lost and lonely trek back to a hotel that I managed to find through only a decent sense of direction. And, the screaming and the crying that would seep from my pores would be met with the hatred as deep as the Devil.

Like that one night in December. After the Justin Timberlake concert. When he, at first, wouldn’t let me up the stairs to go to bed. I was actually so scared that I ran into the guest room on the first floor and hid under the flimsy covers of the bed, hugging the dog for dear life as if she could transport me anywhere but there. Unfortunately, despite childhood dreams, covers do not make one invisible. So, he came in screaming, violently pointing his finger over top of me in between my beady eyes. And, I knew I couldn’t cry. Because, I needed every ounce of my own strength to prevent a complete downward spiral into my own oblivion. And, I ran up the stairs, hoping to lock myself in our room (a tactic that I knew would fail) as he forced me into the laundry room. He stared at me with his hollow soul and silently begged for me to cower in the corner. I did not. I pleaded for him to hit me, to give physical pain to the words that were cutting into any ounce of dignity that still existed inside of me. Instead, he slid his hands around my throat. He locked my neck inside of his fingers and pressed me firmly against the wall. He reminded me of all the money that he had made, money that didn’t belong to me, while I pathetically lived in the house that only he could afford. Yes, he reminded me. And, I flung my fists with every attempt to kill until he finally let me go. The next morning, he’d apologize. Like he always did. And, I’d remember that I’m poor. And, I’d be embarrassed that I was weak. And, I’d teach myself not to feel. I’d teach myself to be invisible.

I finally stopped going out altogether. I became a recluse. I lived out the daily façade of having my life put together in my perfect neighborhood. Meanwhile, I was dead. And, for six months (that I know of), he was having an affair with a woman who worked under him. Ironically, I learned about this relationship after leaving him, which oddly brings me a small sense of joy.

I left him because of me, not him.

I looked back on my life in a single moment with him and realized that we had done nothing to grow for 365 days. We weren’t becoming better together, which translated into us not becoming better individuals. I couldn’t sit with that. I finally stopped listening to the voice that told me everyone would judge me so critically for being divorced. I knew that my fear of turning 50 and waking up to someone who caused me so much internal pain, coupled with the fact that I refused to procreate with such an individual and yet I wanted kids, meant making the harder choice between two hard choices.

In all sincerity, I often ask myself, how the hell did I get out of that mess? I’ve come to see this moment of my life a lot like a car accident. It is paradoxically fast and slow. And, I am overwhelmed by people who seek me out for guidance in this stage of life, married or not. I’ve come to believe that getting out of a toxic relationship is as gradual of a process as getting into one. And, I’m awake at what is now 2:58am, because my story matters. Christine Blasey Ford’s story matters. Your story matters. Because, it’s not okay. It was never okay.

I’ve spent over two years reintroducing myself to myself. Yes, reintroducing myself to myself. Because I wanted to be alive. I tried new things, things that I had expressed interest in but didn’t ring true when I was in the relationship, things that I ignored because he made me think that I wasn’t “that kind of person.”

I leaned on my friends and family. I learned to not make up people’s stories for them. Often times, when we are in toxic relationships, the closest people to us are fully aware of our circumstance. And, we will frequently verbalize that we need to leave or that we’re going to leave. But, we do not. Because, staying is easy. Even when it’s hard. Leaving is fucking hard. Even when it seems easy. So, if you’ve tried to leave this person before and you’ve gone back, the trust with your support system may be weak. I have learned to never underestimate your vulnerability. If you show people you want help (even if it is again), you might be surprised.

As expected, I took trips alone. Even when it was scary. Because I really knew that the only way I would be ready for another relationship would be if I were comfortable with myself first. And I had allowed that relationship to make me a version of myself that I never wanted to become again: insecure, fragile, angry.

Humphreys Peak (Flagstaff, Arizona)

Finally, I had to completely remove him from my life to move forward. Alcoholism is deadly. The person has to want to help him or herself. If not, there is no hope for better. It took me going through hell to really resonate with the fact that I was not responsible for him. If you are here, please hear me, I promise there is a great life waiting for you on the other side.

People sometimes ask me how I do it again. How I put myself out there. I want to get defensive about this statement

because I am extremely hypercritical of myself for being a divorcee, but I am open to the idea that they are actually softening their hearts to the fact that they think I am brave for trying again. Usually, they have also been hurt, and they have not been able to open their hearts in such a way that I feel is right for me in order to have the life that I want to have. I don’t think I’m brave. I think I just opened my eyes. I think I just committed to a life of never settling. And, I will always stay opportunistic to the idea that my match exists somewhere inside this crazy planet called Earth. If that means exposing myself to heartbreak, I’ll take feeling everything over and over again than a life of feeling nothing at all.

from Blog https://ondenver.com/how-i-got-out-of-my-toxic-relationship/