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zellacchan · 4 years

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TANAKA APPRECIATION DAY STARTS NOW

-THIS WHOLE EPISODE ABOUT HIM IS PERFECTLY WRITTEN, THE IMPACT IS BEAUTIFUL, AND I HAVE GROWN TO LOVE HIS CHARACTER SO MUCH MORE.

-TANAKA DOESN'T GIVE UP. that thought alone seems boring when you read it just like that, right? but this episode, ugh, man. it surfaced a whole new concept, you'd think the character was a genuine human, a real person from this world.

-how, exactly? let's start with the things that happened to Tanaka-senpai. ‘‘embarrassment. failure. yet despite that-you refused to give in, and you constantly repeated that in your mind. yet you still ended up getting even more disappointed than you initially were. nothing was going smoothly, and you didn't know why. 'it's okay. i'll keep going, it'll be alright.' you result to self encouragement, because it really isn't the time to feel down, just stay positive. force yourself to be.’’ was the type of situation he was in. normally, a person would give in to the despair, the negativity their mind kept bringing to them. because, i mean, what else could they do? everything was going wrong right in front of their eyes. and when they tried bringing themselves up again, their own teammate refused to help. getting them to toss to you after you called for one could've been the chance to redeem yourself, but no, it didn't. in a normal situation, you'd think ‘okok they might have a plan/they prolly have a better chance at scoring’ or ‘psh maybe next time.’ or even go ‘asjdjfjfj that was embarrassing!’ pretty much any thought, usually it wouldn't give a huge impact to you, and you're able to brush it off after a couple minutes then focus on the game again. but if its like the situation Tanaka was in? completely different scenario. it's likely to give more than a stab to your morale. could even serve as the final blow. even Bokuta-san knew this, as seen from how he passed out afterwards watching them. (maybe it's due to the relief that karasuno scored, tho his attention mostly focused on Tanaka, as once again shown from his reaction after Tanaka earned a point. plus the fact that he was aware of how he, himself would act if he's in Tanaka's position.) but, did that 'deal the final blow'? did it finally make him give up? nope, it didn't. (part of the credit goes to our sunshine child Shoyo, thank hEAVENS for this angel.) and even if Shoyo wasn't there to encourage him, i doubt he would've acted differently. it takes such an impossible amount of mental strength to survive those kind of life difficulties, moreover in sports. s p o r t s, where one mistake could ruin everything. and Tanaka-san had that strength. it merely showed it's pique on the very end, but he had it from the very beginning. hence, again, i doubt a different outcome—and i find that so so beautiful, bc honestly, let's be realistic here. not a lot of people could do that. they may try, but they can only reach so far before giving in. Tanaka was one of those rare gems, and this episode was incredibly inspirational about it. i just can't say that enough. it's anime, fictional. yet the emotions, the struggles and how it was depicted were more than on point, and that's why it's capable of such impact. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-

-i dare say more; let's move onto his quotes. “i'm nothing but average. but still, my average self.. do you really have time to look down like that?” ohmygod. this needs to be my life motto. Tanaka-senpai you outstandingly positive man, i crave for his attitude-his viewpoint, way of dealing with sitautions and everything. it's so cool and awesome and just aAAAAA, how?! how is one capable of such thoughts?? please teach me. i beg of you. “i'm pretty sure i'm a normal human being. especially when it comes to my build and abilities. when i was a kid, i was convinced i was a genius. i might've thought that until i was in middle school. actually, i'm still sorta convinced that i am. but i'm probably never going to be 180cm tall. i'm confident in my athletic skills. but on our volleyball team, i'm not number one in anything at this point in time. but that's not a reason to quit, nor is it an excuse.” i'm screaming. just slapped the perspective and words i've longed to hear. what an ace, Tanaka-senpai deserves that title so much. it fits so perfectly. “as long as i keep trying until i can do it... i can actually do it!” yes, thank you, Tanaka-senpai, Furudate-sensei, for proving that giving up is just an illusion of success. once you've tried enough and you can finally do it, you've finally done it. it's possible.

I REPEAT, TANAKA RYUUNOSUKE DESERVES SO MUCH APPRECIATION. HE'S SUCH A BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN CHARACTER, AND WE ALL SHOULD SHOWER OUR LOVE TO HIM.

p.s i wrote this on the spur of the moment, (milliseconds after the episode ended) pardon if i dont make sense<3 just love tanaka ryuunosuke<3 thats all you need to know<33

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demyrie · 5 years

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On Synchronicities, or 'Winks from the Universe'

Hello from semi-hiatus! Things have been intense lately, very up and down and faith and despair and AAAAAA, so I wanted to go woo again and talk about synchronicities, or “winks”.

I call them winks because that's what it feels like -- remember when you were in a guessing game or a mystery, and you tentatively said something and got a wink in response? Remember that jolt of excitement, or celebration, or confidence like YES I WAS RIGHT? At least in USA culture, a wink means keep going, yes, you're getting it.

Turns out, the universe can wink at you, too!

The universe works on harmony or disharmony, frequencies or vibrations, in which our frame of mind plays a huge part, and often produces “synchronicities” -- the seemingly random or unlikely coincidences that catch your attention. When you align with your highest path, other things around you will align to show you: yes, this is it! You're getting it! You're in the swing of things, you're dancing to your own tune!

Winks are different for everyone. Me, it's numbers, which uhhhh makes sense with my profession, but the whole world is a canvas for synchronicities to show up on. Some people see certain animals more often whenever they're “dancing in tune”, and I know I always feel a warm hand over my heart when I see a squirrel doing something cute -- one of the advantages of having a very, very common spirit guide! But that's just … nice. Winks are discrete and joyous reminders to be in the moment and TRUST, and though I'm not much into strict numerology, they mostly appear to me in numbers.

For example: Whenever I'm counting medication and I pour a perfect amount, I always make a point to remember what I was thinking about when I poured. Have you ever had to count 63 tablets, and got EXACTLY that weird number with two shakes of the bottle? Trust me, it feels good. It felt good to the universe, too, and you're sharing a moment of perfect timing, belonging and allowing. You didn't shake too much. You didn't double guess yourself.

You just did, and it was perfect.

Winks say, go with your instincts. Winks say, trust yourself, keep going, good job. Winks say, this is how it is. You can have this.

This morning, I was on my way to a work location that was a) very far away and b) I’d had a stressful experience at last time and c) my cars engine had been acting a little funny, so it was not a calm voyage. I was worried. I was worried about my shift, my car, and deeply, especially worried about my books. It was one of those days where you step back and look at this thing you've poured so much time and love and WANT into, and pick it up by the ears and ask “is this trash?”

It's not a productive kind of worry. It's gross and sad and debilitating and an exorcism of deeper fears of worth -- because if I make trash, what does that make me?

So, even though I almost talked myself out of it, I stopped into Wawa for some food before my shift (because I'm an hour early, because anxiety).

(TW: eating disordered thinking)

I'm a mess in my head, so naturally I'm a mess in the Wawa too. I'm grabbing things left and right, mostly sweets, but when I get to the counter and see some mostly-healthy (or at least FILLING) breakfast sandwiches, I have a burst of regret.

Should I get one? Was it too much? Ah, FUCK, should I put everything back because I don't deserve any of it?? Maybe I don't deserve breakfast, maybe I'll just keep myself in line until lunch.

It's easy to see how my thoughts spiralled into what I was really feeling, projecting like this into a goddamn gas station sandwich, but I grab one.

Fuck it, I'm an adult and I have money and I need to eat, I thought, and when the cashier rang up my sporadic collection of anxiety sweets and borderline breakfast, the total was $11.11.

I instantly smiled. It was a stupid, happy, sheepish smile, and my shoulders dropped. It was a wink from the universe, or in this case a nudge.

The message wasn't: “buy sandwiches forever and you will never struggle with your self-worth and purpose!”.

It was this: “Shhh. Eat. Take care of yourself. The thoughts that led you to get the sandwich -- in PERFECT combination with every other random thing you grabbed -- are correct. Even these little wild decisions are correct, no matter how lost you may feel. You are deserving. Also eat the goddamn sandwich.”

Now, just an hour or two ago, when I was teaching a tech how to do data entry, I looked up and it was 11:11am. I love teaching and I love helping others. It's definitely part of my path. I smiled again, and plunged forward into my day with enthusiasm and love, knowing I was supported.

It's amazing how just that mindset can change the way your whole day progresses! Trust is a hell of a thing.

It's even funnier when you start to share wink languages with people. My starmate was having a heated text conversation with me re: creativity. When she boiled over and came to the conclusion of “I think we just need to DO US, you know??”, the timestamp was exactly 4:44 -- a number of completion, stability and home. When I alerted her to it, she flipped, but not in the good way. She's been getting nudges and winks like this so long it sometimes feels like a smug or even nagging mother and she poured out an alphabet soup of frustration, like I KNOW OK?? AAAA!

Being magnificently and fearlessly yourself is easier said than done, sometimes. “OKAY, universe!” is a common phrase of ours, as bratty as we possibly can make it :) with love in our hearts of course! Sometimes there's a bit of freedom and humor to be found in playing up our roles as children in this big old sandbox, and whining is totally accepted… as long as you plan to pony up in the end.

In that vein, I had one or two nights where the energy was VERY high and I would wake up at every synchronicity on the dot: 3:33am, 4:44am, and was very tired and grumpy as a result even as I knew the universe was pulling out all the stops to pat me on the back. I'm just a human, this is great and intense and magical and all but I. Need. Sleep!! (Pearls before swine, clearly…)

Another time, I was having another crisis of faith regarding family, and love that doesn't come easily to me. There wasn't any particular trigger, but I was angsting vaguely and even worrying about secretly being a sociopath -- and then I got a customer with a birthday of 11/11, and their change? $4.44!

Obviously I get certain numbers more than others, but the message is always the same: You're doing great sweetie.gif!

You're doing what you're supposed to be doing. It's okay. You're okay. Keep your chin up. Breathe. Allow.

Winking can be a comfort, a reminder that you are loved and supported in all things -- especially feeling your feelings as they are, not as they should be.

So, winks are cool. Once you find your wink language, catching one is like a burst of pure energy: a ringing endorsement from Your Biggest Fan, the Universe 💕🌠

The one thing I would caution with winks, however, is not to look for them.

I know it's difficult, but it literally defies the premise: stressing about being perfect immediately breaks your perfection, like sports players who get the “yips”. The little miracle is you looking up at the clock at EXACTLY that time, because you were meant to, because your perfection is too much to go uncommented on. NOT getting winks doesn't mean you're doing poorly, but those of us with negative mindsets may suffer from what is essentially just another thing to miss out on. Which, again, mindsets and expectations.

Sometimes I'll catch a 3:34 and feel disappointed, and that's just silly. It's not about math. It's about the moment, and there are thousands of moments in any given day. Just do you. Just rock, and hope, and reach for the things that make you glow inside.

It's a cherry on top. Sprinkles. A high five. The more and more you fall into your own perfect stride -- that isn't so much flawless as it is PERSONAL, purely you in a way no one else can manage and a little piece of what you came here to Do -- the more the universe will wink at you, celebrate with you, and urge you on.

I hope you can move just a little further into believing in yourself and your path today, even if it's just buying the goddamn sandwich. Remember, you are deserving. You're doing just fine.

😉

#magic #woo #synchronicities #metaphysical #numerology #i hope you get a wink from the universe today!#demyrie incants #witch #pagan #healer #energy

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