#better as in i feel up to posting publically again maybe. idk man :(

[ari-kari]

hey. gnarly gender stuff below. wouldn’t recommend reading if you are triggered by gender doubt, detransition, sexuality, negative body talk, and surgical malfeasance. oh and also light gore. sorry it’s going to get kind of weird

so I’ve been quietly stepping away from id’ing as trans for a while now. which is a subject that probably needs its own post, all things considered. but there’s one aspect of my (de)transition that is causing an enormous amount of stress in my life, and I’m genuinely not sure how to handle it. so I figured blabbing about it here might help me get some clarity.

anyways. let’s talk titties.

my first top surgery in 2022 was botched. dog ears, massive janky nipples, bizarre incision site choices - it was a whole deal. I got a revision last year (from the same surgeon lmao) that fixed a lot of things, but unfortunately it made other problems significantly worse. So while aesthetically things are much better than they used to be, I still consider myself to be botched. I haven’t taken my top off in public since it happened, and I don’t see myself doing so any time soon.

For a long time, I assumed that this was my only problem; some asshole small town doctor had messed up my results, and now I felt uncomfortable in my body. But it slowly began to dawn on me that things were more complicated than that. Because when I imagined myself being intimate with someone with perfect, stellar top surgery results…I still felt horrible. To the point where, even with nipple prosthetics, I haven’t felt comfortable enough to have sex since my revision 9 months ago.

So now we get into the crux of the problem. Which is this - I do not feel desireable without breasts. Not to myself, and not to others. And to be honest, I knew this would be a problem even before I got the surgery, but I went through with it anyways. Because desireability is small potatoes when it comes to the horrors of gender dysphoria, right? In my mind, I was being vain to put my intimacy concerns over the pursuit of my “true self”. Everyone with dysphoria had to “fix” it eventually - I couldn’t just not get top surgery.

But like…fuck, dude. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten top surgery.

I prefer my body without breasts. It feels much more “me”, especially when I’m alone. But I don’t feel hot. I don’t feel fuckable, or beautiful, or attractive. And I’ve been trying to chip away at it in therapy, but I haven’t really put much of a dent in it, and it’s bringing up some really hard questions that I no longer feel capable of ignoring.

Honestly? My confidence in my sexuality is a big fucking deal to me. I’m someone for whom intimacy of all kinds is really important. And even though I know that there are PLENTY of people who find flat chests attractive, I personally do not. And it’s seriously starting to fuck with my head.

Idk man. Insurance is able to cover reconstruction for me due to a federal loophole, but there’s no way in hell they’re going to fix my jacked-up nipples on their own. And I’m seriously beginning to question if a little gender dysphoria might be worth the relief of finally feeling confident in my own skin again. I have a consultation appointment in June, in either case. So in the mean time, I just have to…figure this out. No biggie.

Anyways, that’s my spiel. I’ve been wearing prosthetics for a while now and tolerating them fairly well, but I recognize that having something physically attached to you is a whole other ball game. So we’re just gonna keep on trucking and see what happens 🫠🫠🫠 either way I have a funny feeling that the “perfect” answer I’ve been seeking to this problem does not exist.

#personal #gender dysphoria #detransition #body horror #body dysmorphia #i need to sleep lmao #also obligatory ‘my detransition story is not meant as an indictment of the trans movement as a whole’ etc #mental health

[longeyelashedtragedy]

Frank James Lampard OBE 👀

ougughgh, you whipped out the order of the british empire? 🫡 😳 maybe i was wrong to judge them teaboos back in the superwholock days (that's a JOKE)

@protect-daniel-james i'll respond here but i might use your ask to post some more Photos cause i'm not sure how to pick just one photo of the Long Eyelashed Tragedy

favorite thing about them: uhhh...so much? he gets me right in the FEELS, man. he tells on himself constantly and seems to be completely unaware. sadboi footballer with pretty dead eyes who loves to Read and took a little notebook with him on the team bus. the intersection of having it easy/privileged childhood & traumatic things that shouldn't have happened--i relate. exhilarating to watch his old performances and he seems like he'd be fun to have a conversation with. fascinating to analyze, this all feels sort of reductive...i'm very Fond of him and some of it is hard to put into words, but i feel very "what's not to love?" about him lol. and he has such a Narrative. he's very easy to write about though it probably doesn't turn out well at all (sounds great and deep in my head though)

also i find a lot of footballers hot but don't really experience significant attraction to them but he is an exception you know what i'm just going to end this here

least favorite thing about them: he lost weight after everton BOO HISS

favorite line: omg, frank james lampard OBE is funny because he's often so intelligent and articulate and then just whips out the WEIRDEST/most cringe thing out of nowhere. some examples:

-his "fight" with klopp on the touchline

THIS wtfery:

these BANGERS:

this classic example of childhood trauma "too old when you're young and too young when you're old" (what some ppl would call "entitled male athlete" but like..i know better than that lol). it's also just patently RIDICULOUS he was like 36...bolding is mine for the classic lines

But it was while on a night out in Manchester during pre-season that the ex-West Hamer star showed his new American team-mates exactly how ex-Premier League stars like to party.

Columbus Crew centre-back Josh Williams was with NYCFC at the time and he told the story to the Athletic.

...“This place is packed, multiple levels. And as soon as we walk in, you could see everybody recognise Frank. And it’s just me, my teammate and Frank and all the energy is just on him.

"He picks up a bottle, this huge bottle of Grey Goose, picks it up, opens it, just starts downing it. Passes it to me and goes, ‘Boys, we’re not putting this down until it’s fucking gone.’”

The trio passed the bottle around three times when the rest of NYCFC showed up.

After about an hour in the club, Lampard approached Williams and asked him about 'that game you Americans play where you throw the little balls — he’s talking about beer pong.'

ok let's see...

brotp: random one but i recently learned that he and ian wright are friends? and i just love that so much both as a gooner and a person. wrighty complements him well and is very...respectful lol. if we consider lamperry to be only one-sided romantic, then definitely lamperry

notp: franko x steven gerrard...there's only One situation in which i've enjoyed that ship (and it was an au). it does nothing for me normally, and i personally don't find stevie g attractive, so! again, it's like an "ew get it away from me" notp, it's just not my vibe.

otp: i mean...lamperry requited. franko x cousin jamie jamie jamie ....maybe someday they can give romeo and juliet their happy ending. and of course, frank and mason...i just really like this ship so much and it keeps my brain so entertained...even though it's not "healthy" and doesn't end well. these ships are all SO good!!!

random headcanon: oh gosh idk...i don't think i have any "headcanons" because everything he says and does in public just kind of tracks. bet he's done coke lol. idk

unpopular opinion: HOO BOY!!! here we go!!! i am aware that i have a wooby nature, but i actually like that about myself. i'd rather approach someone--anyone with softness and then tone it down when i decide they're a dick, than be uncharitable for no reason. that's my way and that's how it's gonna be! so that said...franko gets accusations of "arrogance" and i...i don't see it at all. it might come from his disingenous press conferences at chelsea and everton, but i see that as a man who has horrid self-esteem, was used to being treated by media and fans like a Starboy, and once he started doing badly, had no idea how to handle professional failure--not one single idea. remember on "diary of a ceo" over the summer when he said his first chelsea sacking was the first time he's ever failed professionally? that's insane. Like, imagine making it to age FORTY-TWO and not having a legitimate school or career disaster. that's insane to me. so he just put up a front and got cranky and defensive and funky about where he placed the blame (and to be honest--he has not done a good job as a manager, but he also wound up in some pretty dismal positions. taking chelsea caretaker manager was really shooting himself in the foot because that season just needed to be put out of its misery lol). i'm not saying he's a bastion of humility, or some misunderstood coaching genius, but i don't see him as any more or less arrogant than someone else. idk--i see a weird level of contempt for him that doesn't really feel deserved? he's just a sad sack. sort of a hubris tale in a sense, but also a tale of a man who is still stuck as a kid in some ways...i need to stop before i write a really bad dissertation lol

uh that said...

song i associate with them:

finally a footballer i can give a good answer to this for!!!

name me a better combination than me x lamps x pink floyd x this summer! comfortably numb, shine on you crazy diamond (all of it, but particularly sections vi-ix), wish you were here...

(i know this sounds basic...i know there are more i'm not remembering)

"money" in some ways because i listened to it while writing "visited upon the sons" (it hit me afterward that the fic and the song are structured in the same way...the chicken or the egg?)

from the oooold first days of the lampardverse:

behind blue eyes/a well respected man

also! wouldn't it be nice kind of reminds me of him and cousin jamie loool

favorite picture of them:

dude idk! i really love looking at photos of him! this is granit levels of difficulty...i Cannot choose so let's go with this sad sack from the blessed everton days:

#anonymous #answered #long eyelashed tragedy #!!!!! #i feel like i just lost 78784 followers lol

[quillkiller]

I have just seen this and maybe you have talked about it before but Effie x Walburga

I’m like shaken because I can’t imagine James mom ever wanting to be with someone probably cruel from birth. I mean they would have been together in the fifties, idk it made em giggle

would you all still love me if i said i was a walburga defender… :(

ok ive been pondering this all day, and ive also spent an insane amount of time on public transport trying to find a post i made in defence of walburga. @sugarsnappeases pulled up her laptop as my own personal hacker and stalker and couldnt find it either. however i found a snippet of an ’what are ur unpopular opinions’ ask and found this:

and that’s the gist of it. if anyone remembers the post i made or know how to find it pleaseeeeee send it to me. me and kara went through hell and back to try and find it :(((((((

anyway!

1. i hate the concept of people being born ’cruel’ or ’evil’. people are people and sometimes people do bad things. i think its important to still acknowledge that abusive people aren’t monsters who just couldn’t help themselves. abusers are people and those people chose to treat you like that. that was a choice they didn’t have to make, but they did. abusers aren’t monsters or monstrous. it’s important to me, due to personal experience, to remember that abuse is a choice. it allows me to feel betrayed and hurt and angry that a person chose to do that to me

2. i think walburga was a victim her whole childhood. atleast my own depiction of her. it’s different when she becomes an adult, has children, etc, and she should know better. there’s no excuse for her abuse towards her children/no excuse ever for abusive parents. and i want to be very clear about how there are NO excuses !!!!!! i am not team walburga and will never ever be team walburga !!!!!

3. walburga was a woman in the 70s, she held no power over orion what so ever. he was the man in the house. the head of the family. the abuse was allowed because quietly sat back and allowed it. absolutely ridiculous to me that walburga would be worse than orion. i simply think its an ignorant and misogynistic take. a silent father will always scare me more than the active abusive mother. like.. the patriarchy in the 70s in pure blood families ? lets be real here

ive seen posts saying orion was scared of walburga and thats why he never did anything. like are we being serious here. no way she got to choose her husband. and he’s a powerful man from a powerful family. in the seventies. why woud he be scared of her she has absolutely no power what so ever

4. i love exploring the womens narrative in the marauders fandom because their canonical narrative is based on sexism and the nuclear family. i guess you think it’s outlandish that effie would fall for walburga (cruel from birth) because shes james’ mother, and the anti walburga in the way she opens up her home and basically adopts sirius and makes a home for him ? to me that’s not interesting sadly :/ i love effiebarty because i get to explore good housewife effie tearing down her walls and acting on her desires and urges. like…. i want her to leave both james and monty behind out of pure selfishness. like.. im the girl writing the baby killing fic where lily is the sole survivor….

5. to me walburga is sort of similar to alicent from house of the dragon. what did she ever do that wasn’t expected of her? she was a girl in the 60/50s in a powerful family and had less choices than either reg or sirius ever did. she didn’t leave like sirius did. she stayed like regulus. and for similar reasons reg stayed probably. and she’s a woman. her sons are more priveliged than she will ever ever be. even disowned sirius is more priveliged than her.

6. i want to be very clear again. i am not a walburga apologist. i think there’s a clear distinction between her child- and adulthood. at some point the abuse becomes a choice. she didn’t break the cycle and she’s bad and rotten woman who abused her children. no excuses !!!!!!!!!! however. it is interesting exploring the circumstances which led to the woman she is

7. to actually answer your question. i dont necessarily care for effie/walburga but i can see the appeal. maybe i’ll get into it we’ll see……. like honestly they wouldn’t be that different from jegulus?

#walburga black #sorry that you came to the defender of problematic women for giggles and all she did was defend problematic women :(

[pandora15]

okay I didn't sleep very well which means that this is the perfect time for me to write a very obnoxiously long post about my very complicated feelings about ahsoka (both the show and the character).

there will be vague spoilers for what we've seen for the show so far (as of this writing, the first three episodes).

okay

also this will definitely be ramble-y and probably a bit controversial? idk man it's the star wars fandom, I'm sure to piss someone off regardless of what I say here, and I don't really care.

anyways

I'm gonna start with a simple statement.

I don't like the idea of one Jedi being better than another.

Clarification: Obi-Wan is by and large my favorite character of all time. He is my favorite Jedi. However, in my eyes, that does not make him better than all the other Jedi. That does not make him a better Jedi than all the others that we've seen in canon, just because I (or a lot of us in this specific fandom circle) like him.

make sense?

okay cool.

In a similar sense, Ahsoka is not better than all the other Jedi, including all the ones who taught her and helped shape her to who she ultimately becomes. Don't get me wrong, she is an incredible character who has gone through so much and has survived it all. And I take comfort in her character nearly as much as I take comfort in Obi-Wan's.

The way the show is going so far seems to imply that the approach that she's taking with Sabine by training her at all, when Huyang has said multiple times that the Jedi of old (ie. up until the end of the Clone Wars) would not have trained her, is absolutely the right and wonderful thing to do. So the fact that Ahsoka has previously taken this chance on Sabine and is doing so again seems to imply (to me, at least) that she is better than all the Jedi who came before her, since all of them would not have done such a thing.

The whole Sabine being practically Force-null thing but still trying to be a Jedi is a whole other conversation for another post, but…a part of me is intrigued by the idea, I guess? But I still feel like it steps back on her characterization in Rebels, and I am worried about the direction they're ultimately going to take with her.

Add this to the fact that the show demonstrates that Ahsoka has complicated feelings about the Jedi Order and being a Jedi. The fact that she calls Sabine her Padawan (a Jedi term afaik) eases my concerns slightly, maybe? I don't think it's clear quite yet how she feels about the whole thing.

But all of this stems from what happened to her during the Wrong Jedi arc.

And in the lead-up to this show, I rewatched that arc. On this rewatch, I felt a lot of sympathy for what Ahsoka goes through. She's on her own for most of the time that she's on the run, and obviously I can't say what would have happened if she'd chosen not to run away and investigate to the extent that she did, but it does seem to pile up even more evidence against her — but it also gave Anakin the stepping stones that he needed to figure out it was Barriss and Barriss the opportunity to sort of expose herself as the culprit. Like if Ahsoka hadn't run away to the lower levels to try to figure it out, would she have been better off?

We don't know. I'm not gonna make assumptions.

As for the Order and the Council, I'm going to say about that arc what I've said before: they were placed in an impossible situation. The war has drained them of the trust the public had once had in them, their dependence on the Senate made it so that they couldn't go against them.

Ahsoka says in the arc that she believes that no one in the Order fought for her, besides maybe Anakin. Yet we literally see Obi-Wan tell the Council that they can't expel her, we see the Council invite her back after her name is cleared because they still see her as one of them. A Jedi.

And yes, maybe they could have done something differently to change things. Maybe they could have taken a stand with Ahsoka against Tarkin and all the other Senators who called for Ahsoka's expulsion/trial. Maybe they could have refused to expel her to prevent all of that from happening.

But I can't imagine that things would have gone well for them or for Ahsoka if they'd done that.

Needless to say, Ahsoka could have done things differently to lead to a better outcome, and the Council could have, as well — but we don't actually know if it would have worked.

Putting all of that aside though, the way Ahsoka's character is approached after the Wrong Jedi arc aired is changed drastically, compared to how it was approached before that arc. Which makes sense, since she walks away from the life she knows and has to figure things out and all that. I know it must have been really tough for her, walking away.

Ahsoka's arc in Rebels is beautiful. I love it. The way she contends with the knowledge that Vader is Anakin, ultimately leading up to her duel with him and her sacrificing herself so that Ezra and Kanan can get away? It's so heart-wrenching to me, even now. Learning that Ezra ultimately saves her with the WBW made me so happy because she is such an important character to me, and to see her ultimately die at Vader's hand would have been completely heartbreaking.

And to see her again the Rebels epilogue, with the implication that she survives the events of the OT, was one of the most glorious endings I've seen in Star Wars. Just thinking about it makes me smile.

But after this is where the cracks begin to form for me.

We go back to Season 7 of TCW. I found the Martez sisters arc pretty fun, having rewatched it recently. However, there is this plot point of Ahsoka seeing that the Jedi are not doing anything for the people of Coruscant, since they're. you know. busy fighting a galaxy wide war and all that. (Also like the welfare of Coruscant's people is not strictly the Jedi's responsibility like assuming Coruscant has a Senator or maybe even the Chancellor would also have some level of responsibility, yeah? but people love to blame the Jedi for their problems, in and out of universe).

Anyways, the arc indicates that the Jedi are in the wrong, even though, once again, they're in this impossible situation for one thing, and they're also being "blamed" for things that aren't even their fault? And Ahsoka is like the only person who can see that so now it makes her better than all of them?

We see that play out a bit at the beginning of the Siege of Mandalore arc (which is still incredibly painful to me, thanks). We see Bo-Katan take shots at Obi-Wan for literally just saying that he has to speak to the Council about her request (I could be remembering wrong, I'm trying to double check this but youtube is literally refusing to load right now), and Ahsoka just stands there and lets it happen because "wow why are they not helping us how dare they be busy with a war omg after everything they've done to me"

And to be fair to ahsoka, it hasn't been that long since TWJ and it's totally valid for her to still be upset about it! I guess it's just painful to see especially for me because I've always loved Obi-Wan and Ahsoka's dynamic and it was just. yeah.

And yeah, Ahsoka decides to do the same to Obi-Wan later on when he says they have to go to Coruscant because their people are in danger, and Ahsoka's upset that they're not prioritizing Mandalore's people over Coruscant. Which like. Coruscant's people literally includes the two sisters you became friends with last week Ahsoka what do you mean —

anyways

in those opening moments of the siege of mandalore, it's clear that she still has a lot of emotions over what happened, and Obi-Wan takes the brunt of that. let's also not forget that she doesn't seem to want to talk to Anakin until later on, yeah?

and the way it's framed in the show, they really make it seem like ahsoka's in the right for treating Anakin and Obi-Wan like this. Like they deserve it for doing something differently than her.

When Mace Windu calls her a citizen when she LITERALLY called herself that first, people say he deserves to die? like what the fuck? it's not that serious y'all.

It's like Ahsoka has suddenly become the perfect character who can do nothing wrong ever and any time another character tries to go against that, it's implied that she's in the right and she's better than them all, actually. it's canon because dave filoni says it is.

skipping over the mando and tbobf episodes mostly because I don't have much to say about those episodes as it relates to this topic, this brings us back to the ahsoka show today.

I think it's a beautiful show with incredible music. like I'm obsessed with the end credits music. the premise is extremely interesting. I do think it should have been animated, even though the actors have worked extremely hard to get the characters down and I've literally seen how excited and passionate they are about the project while watching their interviews in-person at star wars celebration, I don't think it would ever feel the same as having the original voice actors back for all the characters.

that being said, I'm enjoying the show so far, but I am concerned. I'm worried about what the show is going to communicate about the Jedi Order and that it's going to continue to imply that Ahsoka is better and knows better than all the Jedi who brought her to where she is now.

I hope that the show is able to communicate that Ahsoka wants to be respectful of those Jedi, instead, and that they paint the concept of being a Jedi in a more positive light, instead of continuing to imply all this negativity.

I love the Jedi, and I just wish we got to see more of them in a positive light in canon.

#ahsoka tano #ahsoka spoilers #ahsoka show #so tldr if you see me like. contradicting myself a lot when it comes to this show it's because that's literally how i feel about it #i like it and i love it but i also am deeply concerned about it and i don't like what they've implied about the jedi order so far #it's complicated #and i think my complicated feelings all stem from me not liking the concept of a single jedi being better than all the rest #and just to be clear. ''better'' doesn't equate to having higher force sensitivity or anything like that #i think that's obvious from my post but. yeah. #anyways i'm gonna get up now it's a reasonable time for me to be awake now afslkjadjklfkjlakfldsaf #rip to my sleep schedule #long post

[ultravioart]

fan theories, crew member teases and common aus aside, how to you suppose peepers and hater met? ive heard that it was supposed to be huge in terms of their backstory

In canon? iirc they met as teenagers in high scool. I personally like to image they met in first year of college on the cusp of adulthood.

It would allow for more independence/freedom as college students than if they were highschoolers, and would explain how they were able to live in a van on an endless road trip. Then again, WoY is very old school in some respects, so maybe they really did run away together as teens. But, I like to think it was college, or at least Peepers was already in college. Maybe Peepers being so smart, he had dual enrollment in high school? idk

Since it was supposed to be a huge lore drop for backstory, I imagine Hater met Peepers on the watchdog home planet, since that's one way of explaining Peepers' backstory pretty easily. If not on the watchdog home world, it would be at some space academy or something lol.

Either way, I like to think Peepers saw Hater for the ultimate powerhouse he was, day one. Lord Hater fit perfectly into Peepers' galactic conquest plans as the ideal front man. And... Hater didn't make fun of him like others did. In fact, they bullied people... together (insert heart emojis). Peeps was absolutely floored by Hater at first sight, of course, but Peepers wasn't completely gone for Hater just yet. It would take a few years of evil villain routine and getting to know Hater more for Peepers to REALLY fall for him. Being his biggest fan was one thing, but romance was out of the question entirely: he had an evil job to do! And Hater was such a pain sometimes... immature... stubborn... gross... cruel... strong... big... intimidating... powerful... handsome.... Over the years, Peepers eventually realizes that his tool to success was more than an amazing tool... realizing Hater was his everything and that he truly loved the big lug terrified Peepers inside, but he was in too deep to turn back now! <3 gg Love wins in the end, evil be damned lol

On the other hand, I think when the two first met, young Hater was drifting around from planet to planet until he stumbled to that school. Maybe it was just the usual road tripping stop, or maybe Hater was taken in by nice locals and placed in school. We know his backstory suggested he was quite academically skilled, so I imagine school might have had a homey feeling for Hater. Something about academia felt right within his vague memories of his past astronaut life. If it was a college, that would make sense, libraries were probably a great way for Hater to stay warm on chilly nights, too. If it was a high school, I can imagine Hater being the 'cool kid' / 'bad boy' 17 year old playing guitar on the roof of his van and roasting students that walk by in the parking lot lmao. Probably hung around the school grounds because he didn't have a proper place to stay.

From how Peepers talked about the van, it seems like Hater had it before meeting Peepers? I think if Peepers ever asked about where Hater lived/family, Hater would have said he ran away from home. Peepers might have even been inspired to run away with Hater because of that lie. The idea of escaping and starting anew was very promising for Peepers. As previously stated in other posts, Peepers was probably the first person to ever see Hater for how great he truly was, and that will always make Peepers special to Hater. Best buds for life! But don't tell Peepers that, Peepers WILL cry in public. Also, cute eye-guy is cute, extremely loyal, and a great hype man for a sick rock band filled with watchdog army groupies. lol. I can imagine Peepers probably nudged Hater from a bully rockstar route to ultimate evildoer route as a 'better' way to 'be popular' across the galaxy. I honestly think Hater had a lot of rage, but idk if Hater was "blow up a moon, evil cackle, and terrorize millions as they chant your name" rage level like Peepers was. But Peepers can really sell a pitch, and the rest was history.

That, and a few months later a 'totally not a couple' marriage license they got in Vas Legas so they could get an initial loan for the skull ship. Partners in crime AND taxes! Hater has no recollection of this.

I'd also like to imagine, even with Hater having some blurry memories of his previous 'planet of the apes/astro-ape' life, his memories would come back over time. Hater knows a lot, hides a lot, and he is incredibly smart and highly educated. And yet, he lets Peepers be 'the smart guy', because either Hater is too embarrassed to be "a smart nerd" or Hater just wanted to give Peepers something to feel superior about (which is a nice thing to do, but Hater is NOT NICE. HE IS MEAN! BAD!!!! A VILLAIN!!! ...right?). And then Hater roasts Peepers for being a beep boop bop lame nerd bc Hater can't express his feelings correctly lol.

Fr Peepers' reaction to Hater knowing space physics junk will never not be funny to me. I imagine back in the day that realization would have been a mid-life crisis of "oh grob he's SMARTER THAN ME?? SINCE WHEN? WILL I BE REPLACED? HAS HE BEEN PATRONIZING ME THIS WHOLE TIME BECAUSE I AM THAT PATHETIC TO HIM???" but now bc Peepers is so smitten and full of love for Hater it's a full blast of "oh my grob he's actually applying himself for once, I'm so proud, he's the greatest thing to ever exist, I'm so proud!!!!!!! I love him so much, sobbing crying tears!!!!!" LMAO. tfw ur inferiority/superiority complex gets stomped out by your undying love for your sir.

#death glare #wander over yonder #woy #lord hater #commander peepers #long text #text #ask #anon #reply #IF hater didn't have the van before he met peepers tho #Peepers totally bought the van for Hater then #Peepers rlly be like: buys you icecream #buys you a guitar #buys you a van #buys you an army #buys you a galactic warship made to your specifications #buys you undying love and devotion from a little commander #oh right haha that love is priceless and free of charge for the greatest in the galaxy <3 #silly me

[mrsbsmooth]

All I know is Lewie better not bring another girl back to the main villa or if he does I hope seeing us again corrects him, bcs all the bullshit that man has put me through in the end better be worth it 😭 And I'll just genuinely be devastated because Lewie is the loml and the only one I feel like my mc has a real connection with🧍🏻‍♀️

On another note I really hope FB doesn't ruin Andy, and that he isn't like a two-faced jerk or something bcs he seems so genuine and sweet and in my replay I'll probably switch to him (if he stays consistent). That's also why I'll be upset as well if Lewie switches, cause like Andy is the only one so far who has turned my head a very slight inch and if I give Andy up (again if he stays consistent) someone who I could have had a connection with, for Lewie who switches or wants to try another girl out I'm gonna call him out on his BS.

Another thing I want to talk about was Lewies public declaration, how did you feel about it? I personally felt like it looked kind of forced? Like he was maybe putting on a show and saying stuff to say it instead of it coming from the heart. Idk though, it could have been genuine but the other seasons have traumatized me frfr so ion know what to think ☠️

Sorry for the long rant btw 😭 As a Lewie girlie I'm just rlly nervous of how things are going to play out. Cause after the whole Chloe situation and what he was saying whether he was just "playing it up for the boys" my trust in him kind of went down after that :(

As a fellow Lewie girlie who is using Andy to protect my feelings, you are safe here.

The more I think about it the more I want to replay this week and be more loyal. Originally I was like “fuck Lewie, he’s gonna cheat so he can eat Shit (please take me back)”. But idk if I’m ready to break his heart like that if it turns out he was loyal to me ☹️ Andy is the only one I’d consider bringing back rn, he’s just lovely

I think his declaration was sweet, he’s a little bit cringe but that’s why we love him, right? He’s so unfailingly sincere in his feelings, and he has been from day one. No wonder he’s only ever been in LTRs, as if you wouldn’t immediately lock him down if you were in the outside. I think this is your S5 trauma talking.

Every time I do a post like this I end up convincing myself to trust him more and now I feel bad for cheating 😭 I’m gonna go back and replay and be loyal. Let my heart get broken idc anymore I can’t do it to him.

[somuchyoudontknow]

Sophia! You're on fire girl! Sharing the important stuff on your blog instead of same of BS about 🐟 and unnecessarily bashing Chris! No BS conspiracy theories, just facts!

I love the Seb-Ale shitshow receipts you're sharing. How 🐟 managed to fuck up trolling more than Ale is beyond me. So many similarities though, it's crazy!

I'll say, maybe it's his luck or it's in his destiny but because of how the fandom is Chris is getting 100x more shit than Seb ever did. Sometimes I wonder if the blow would've been softer if the PR shitshow rolled out at its original timeline. Then I think this all needed to happen for Chris's sake. For the sake of his personal, emotional and spiritual growth.

Personally, since January I always believed this shitshow will be dragged out till November of this year. The official break up will be announced before Red One promos officially begin. No, I'm no gifted individual with tarot card interpretation skills or someone who gets intuitive dreams. Nor am I someone with sources from Hollywood or Chris's team lol. I'm just speaking from the vibes I get,what I've been feeling. No doubt I'm prepared to be proven wrong,the BUA might come earlier. We might get more trolling before it officially ends.

Who knows but I'm calm, man. I'm chill and not really angry at Chris. I understand he got entangled in shit. I don't think he handpicked 🐟 lol. I don't think he was following people on IG to look for a PR gf(do people actually believe this or do they just say it as a joke???) I most certainly don't think his beliefs suddenly align with theirs.

I just think there's money, projects, contractual obligations and industry reputation on the line so he's complying. But I've strongly believed that he needs better people around him work wise at least. Whoever is managing him isn't helping him.

But I believe one thing,this man was born to be a star. He was born to be well known and to be seen and loved by the public. He'll get it all back in tenfold. He needs the lessons and the growth. Let's all hope he manages to learn them and see his true potential!

Have a good day Sophia c:

Thank you so much for your great ask 🤗❤💙 You have made some amazing points.

A friend sent me the links for Seb and Ale pr posts and Harry and Olivia's too. I am very lucky I have some great friends who send me great stuff and I don't have to do much research :) They do research, find me some great stuff and I just post them mostly :)

Idk if you have been following me before I deactivated but I also felt that the shitshow will not be over before the next SMA gets announced and I also made some comparisons with MBJ and Lori's pr rollout. It is very similar. I will make a post again about the things I found similar. I might make some posts comparing some stuff with other prs in the upcoming days. That might prove useful for everyone to understand why we feel it is pr and not a real rs.

#chris evans pr #chris-evans #alba-baptista

[cringelordofchaos]

Saw a couple of my mutuals do a new year resolution so I thought I might do one for myself too

Ok uhmm

Be yourself. But not the "acceptable different". Something that I noticed is that I will tell myself to be my true, wild, unfiltered self as long as it isn't harmful to anyone, yet I still do not follow my statements. I still hide parts of myself I am embarrassed by even though they're not harmful and they shouldn't be stigmatized. I want to actually make a fucking change about this. For all I care, I want to walk on all fours in the fucking public just to piss everyone off. Who should give a shit? Not me anymore. Not like I had a fucking chance of a social life in the first place lmso

Use digital devices less. Like come on man. Please

Sing more !! Sign up for solo or jazz singing or both !! I sound like a confused pathetic dying duck but at least I should try to pursue my passion

Paint more, also like paint things that symbolize your emotions or whatever the fuck. Or just paint wolves idk

Be better at school. School can actually be kinda fun but I'm wayyyy too behind but I realized I'm actually more capable than I thought? I just wish it weren't so stressful but I actually like studying sorta but I also downright hate it idk. But I want better grades even though the final grade for this half of the school year was marked as "NOT ENOUGH" bc i got a fuckong 1 (F) as a final grade from chemistry bc i was too busy fixing my grades for physics and math (but hey I actually managed to go from a 1 (F) TO A 4 (B) IN PHYSICS LETS GOO)

read warriors (already got the first chapter for this new years :DD)

Read books more in general

Start posting on DeviantArt again (I feel bad for my followers there oops I have been offline for like a year lmao)

Označi svoju teritoriju, napravi sklonište za sebe u obližnjem parku, u dvorištu svoje kuće i unutar svoje sobe. Znaš ti o čemu pričaš. Pobogu moj ovo je toliko cringe al koga šiša. Otpremi shrine za Vukove ako želiš lmao

Work on your stories more and use your time more wisely to t h I n k

Play the flute more !! Also learn how to play the piano and maybe guitar

Go into the forests more y'know what I'm talking about

Learn how to crochet !! And crochet the things you want to !! (Kao ona ogrlica sa mesecom. Ili plišana igračka vuka? Ili nekog reptila?)

That's it for now ig

#to do list

[the1975attheirverybest]

https://www.tiktok.com/@robbersatitsverybest/video/7220398624876842245?_r=1&u_code=db0hdac58ba249&preview_pb=0&sharer_language=en&_d=e2ild506kejmkd&share_item_id=7220398624876842245&source=h5_m&timestamp=1681133385&user_id=6794262064364160005&sec_user_id=MS4wLjABAAAAvRGT8jH6NehrHULEHSHd9vFle-d9J7Fyzqs2K-uW1Gv4j11WzNd4Q-D-saws0kjU&social_share_type=0&utm_source=copy&utm_campaign=client_share&utm_medium=android&share_iid=7219940038906464046&share_link_id=0f6c4abc-8fbf-4a22-aa39-c2bad7b7bf75&share_app_id=1233&ugbiz_name=Main&ug_btm=b8727%2Cb2878

Sorry that link is days long oh my god. Did you see this?

-🦝

YES!! And I have a million follow-up questions for him????

1. Wtf does he mean that the era of him being an asshole is over?? Cuz, I thought, the whole point was that he wasn’t being an asshole! And that’s why he was sticking to his guns and doing what he does even when people came for his throat.

2. Again, wtf? He doesn’t really “perform” online and that’s the whole point. Like, when someone once commented that he’s become like Harry Styles, only posting work promo and pictures from shows and stuff, he literally replied “no I haven’t you little bitch” or whatever. Like, what “celeb” posts memes, roasts their own fans, and mocks woke culture online? Plus, the fact that he would reply to fans sometimes immediately, lurk on Reddit and correct and debunk rumors, etc. it all made his interactions with the fandom more real.

3. Of course, we all understand and respect his right to “just be a bloke.” And if that’s what he wants, we’ll be okay with it and supportive. Like yeah, sure, I’m sad, but I’ll get over it. BUT, he once said that he likes writing about culture in his songs and he doesn’t wanna be out there participating in the things that he criticizes. But being totally offline feels like it’s gonna make him more removed from the things that he wants to write about? Isn’t that a negative thing?

Idk, man. Obviously, social media is always inherently performative etc. but I thought Matty was one of a handful of people who’d figured out how to balance it nicely and not get caught up in their public image/ reputation. And it’s part of what made his presence online unique. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was starting to affect him badly. If so, then I get why he’s leaving and I hope it makes him feel better. I’ll just really miss his posts :(

#matty healy #🦝 anon

[saintqueer]

first, i wanted to say thank you for your super long response essay to the earlier anon! i feel like your thoughts are always so nuanced and you laid everything out so patiently and thoughtfully! if you happen to read this and answer it, great, and if not no worries! take the time away from public fandom you need if you need it, take care of yourself and do what makes you feel good!

i guess my thoughts are half-question/half-theory. i definitely agree with you that it seems like there's been a real shift in energy from hl since 2020 and especially lately (and especially that we're missing a piece of the puzzle), but my question for you is, at least the way i read your essay (and totally could be misunderstanding you or missing nuance) it seems like you feel like at least some of this is coming from h&l themselves? and i wondered why?

at least for me, i've picked up on that shift, but i also feel like i'm picking up on a sense that h&l, and especially h, has a lot of plans going a bit off the rails/not to plan atm in general, which would obviously affect louis' plans to the extent they're larry-related/adjacent. i mean, as a glaring example, i can't imagine that whatever is happening with holivia right now is what they intended for this stunt - for most of the news around harry's first major leading role to be about whether or not he was a homewrecker who spent so much time sleeping with his director that the quality of the film suffered. (if that was the plan... idk man, get better pr people). it feels like a plan was made based on the original filming schedule, and between covid delays and post-production, the stunt is lumbering on without any real renegotiation despite the fact that an almost 2 year 'relationship' with no official confirmation in the face of what appears to be a custody battle and increasingly mainstream rumors about on-set behavior makes no sense and looks bad. (olivia's been notably silent on other projects she was supposed to have in progress, so again, something maybe happening behind the scenes there).that also ties in to something i thought when h was announcing his residencies and am coming back around to - that we may be seeing the end/untangling of harry's contractual obligations with jeff/full stop/maybe even CAA. (for good or for ill, as a former lawyer, i see him shoving all of those residencies in and can't help but think that's a way to meet a contractual obligation for a set number of tour dates that goes with his album obligations, since he doesn't seem to be planning on touring harry's house separately, and he's certainly distanced himself from the azoff set of celebrities he used to be more tied to, like kendall). and as for louis, i'm sure whatever plans he had made are inextricably affected by h's plans, especially if we're looking at something to do with bbg ending (idk....).

obviously there's a lot going on behind the scenes we don't know, but i just wanted to say i've picked up on a lot of the same vibes it seems you have, but i'm also just feeling like h's pr in particular is just... flailing, rather than part of a planned/coordinated push in line with h's long-term goals.

dude, you say that I articulate things well? the way you explained this was so perfect.

basically, i agree with most of what you're saying here and have had similar thoughts as well. like ive begun suspecting over the last 6 months that olivia is more central to whatever has been going down in the last year with both HL.

and i DO think harry is at the end of his rope with a lot of stuff. and i do think louis has made a lot of adjustments based on various factors.

ive entertained so many different ideas and possibilities that could explain the uniqueness of the past year even including blackmail. never landing on one because obviously i don't know shit. for me, the biggest confusion comes from them seeming to play along harder than usual while still looking miserable.

like i know olivia is a nightmare, but if harry really WANTED to sell it, he could do better. louis still looks far more happy with a stranger's child than his supposed son, he could be more convincing. YET they are still playing along far more and relentlessly than ever before imo.

about your question of why i think part of it is coming from HL, i should probably clarify. i don't think hl are sitting there like "this would be a great idea" but i do think that certain things can be avoided and i had hoped we would be past things like shitting on larries in a fans DMs or blocking your biggest UA. i would think that there would be a way to push the babygate narrative without flying a child out to a foreign country to spend the day with strangers. i feel like, despite the ways they are still constrained by narrative, i would hope that they would have the ability to the use the less harmful way of pushing it.

they very well might have a big grand plan they are working towards completing. nothing would make me happier. but the way things are constantly shifting and never in a specific and consistent direction, more and more it just feels like they are chickens running around with their heads cut off.

louis wants to be successful, harry doesn't want to lose the opportunities he has gained. i don't blame them for that, but we get caught in the crossfire. but not only us. THEY get caught in the crossfire because they don't seem all that happy and content to me. they seem tired of playing the game but utterly unwilling to stop because they are terrified of what will happen if they do. more than self-protection for me, it's like i want to protect myself from having to watch them run themselves into the ground with work and lies that can't be undone all leading up to some kind of horrific george-michael-esque outing scandal that i know will just break my heart because they deserve so much more. because the industry will turn on them one day no matter how well they play by its rules.

#anon

[firespirited]

Vague indefinable under the weather thing became a very defined half way down the head divide sinusitis mid morning.

It wasn't as easy to spot because there's just been ongoing 'ouch' of the head and face due to the neck issues but yeah you can actually see the swollen sinuses and that clear divide down the head is unmistakable. I really should have worn my mask on walks even though I don't approach anyone (except bully cops I guess) to avoid the pollen.

Then again, funny thing I went out with Sis this morning, it was cold so we were wearing masks for cold and the woodfires which give you a good lungful of nasty and we got lectured by a rando about how unnecessary it all is and how much money 'they' have made off this

and how his latest booster made him feel sick even though by his own admission he got covid the last time he went unmasked in public earlier this year.

I just cheerfully pointed out that the vaccine hurts less than the infection, masks are useful for more than just covid and thanked him profusely for doing his civic duty of masking in public transport and shops as an immunocompromised person. But like, dude, we have two really cute dogs and the weather's been interesting, half the country's protesting now that the government have shown they'd rather throw away democracy and our freedom of expression than tax a few corporations a little better (it is literally so little money that we could make buying back your own company stock from excessive profits illegal and collect double what's needed for pensions from just this year. The insistance that pensions must be funded by workers with no corporate or government help is stupid, the math indicated we won't be in the red til 2030 so tax some billionaires already, they can protest live in Monaco or Luxembourg (and get super bored and crawl back) if they insist on not leaving france's luxuries to far behind...

Oh look there so much to talk about that I got derailed (not that it takes much LOL) but mr man had to scold us for being silly gooses for wearing masks and tell us his incoherent but important thoughts on the matter. I know I'm probably contagious with a bad cold right now, didn't get to work that into the conversation though. Sis talked about how much more she's able to enjoy nature as an asthmatic since masks though so that was nice. We shot eachother a lot of subtle side eyes especially when he casually dropped that half the party he went to unmasked got horribly sick from that party.

If you feel like that dude, please do try different mask types and mask comfort aids. Everybody has to find what they can wear for long periods without pain. For me it's a China made K95, straps in the back, changed every hour so the sweat doesn't chafe my skin but I have to be really careful to not end up with an inperceptible flow of hot wet air straight into my right eye. Sis likes the fish shaped k94. Doc uses a duck shape for minimal face chafing.

I've put a few things on hold til my health gets slightly better. I really want to rework the neck on the lovely 1/6 bjd Maleficent sent and then paint her not with human blushing but like she's part of a crockery set. The one great auntie Francis left us a few years ago is a gold trimmed fruit motif and blue china is pretty but already done so I was thinking more along the lines of something with strawberries because I love her porcelain paleness and a strawberry motif would allow me to keep the face simple and stylized. (writing this down because ideas do sometimes spark during the SADS but I often completely forget them).

Jewel Richie had an 'incident' in the post and has been undeliverable since Thursday but amazon doesn't open the refund/rebuy options til tomorrow. I'll have to decide then. The vagueness of 'incident' made me think OK, maybe the roads/trains were blocked but the 'cannot be delivered' kind of implies the package got smashed up or in the same truck as idk a bottle of ink or something.

I think it's maybe why I had a doll dream, I imagined a rainbow high rolling into a roadside somewhere after someone forgot to properly shut the van doors or something.

Then again, I spent most of last night talking over (with my own brain) how the Shoah probably 'killed' Gd (mine the xian god who is supposed to have a personal relationship with people, not necessarily anyone else's - i can explain in detail if anyone is interested, the law of free will wasn't broken other xian specific things were) for me to an imaginary rabbi questioner (he was very nice, if pushing further than I dared to talk, in the daydream and had experience with christianity in the form of evangelicalism so I didn't have to explain certain concepts that are absolutely not in the Talmud and not really the new testament either.) and really felt my shame that a genocide unrelated to me shook a faith (xianity) that's a disrespectful sect of their faith. Nevertheless I was 10, and the idea that the gospels weren't the symmetrical conclusion to the Talmud was never in question and even considered blasphemy if I ever brought it up. I was such a different person by 14 then 16 facing it again. To think I thought jewish people were as brainwashed as I was into the belief that martydom is a noble death. Yeah I mentioned the nice fever dream about the dolls because many times sick musings end up in 'the roads not taken' , existential crises and lists of people who probably took years off my life. Fun stuff.

Lily is picking up this march, she is happy and well. I think she may have had a tough winter but for 14 she is very fit and still very much a mischief, she's started doing her upside-down dances, asking for fuss and thieving from my recycling bin again. I love her to bits.

Have a lovely day everyone. Stay safe and relatively sane ❤️❤️❤️

#saf #Tw: covid #Ramblings

[greatergothampolycule]

sorry to bring it up again and for this being so long but seeing your villain enjoyer post I had to wonder why it is that so many people have let's say 'weird' opinions on villains and I think it's because all three types - the ones thinking enjoying a villain makes you an evil person, the woobifiers that want to erase all the hard edges and the edgelords that want them to be soulless monsters - don't seem to really understand what villains are which is characters that serve a certain purpose in a story. this purpose can of course vary but by nature of being villains and thus usually antagonists their purpose for the most part is presenting an obstacle for the hero and - in a good story - that way driving the hero's character, story or relationship developments forward. and since Batman is a superhero story this usually means that the villains will have to pose some sort of threat big enough for Bruce himself to deal with it as well as pose as a 'dark mirror' reflecting whatever (negative) characteristics of Bruce currently need developing. This then means that the villains have to be bad people and have to be violent, mean or otherwise dangerous enough to validate their place as the story's antagonist. of course you could also have a villain that isn't a bad person and acts out of desperation, but not all villains can be like that or else the story would grow stale and you'd miss out on other angles of the hero's character that could be developed through facing a more evil foe. And similarly on the other side having all villains be one note evil horrors all the time deprives the story of complexity just as much and especially in a story like Batman can be very very counterproductive since that's exactly why you get fandom discourse like "Batman should just kill his rogues" - because if the rogues have a daily kill count in the dozens it is really hard to justify Batman's no kill rule. if the rogues don't have any humanizing moments or character traits it'll make it hard for the readers to believe why Batman would see the possibility for reform in them, why he gives them so many second chances instead of just ending them for the sake of public safety. Yes you can argue that Batman doesn't kill and believes in reform 'on principle' but unless you show the audience exactly why he doesn't kill - not just through words but through personality and actions - unless you make the audience see and feel for themselves why even after all this time Bruce still believes that his rogues have it in them to change and become better people? Then the audience is going to see the no kill rule as a standardized rule of the story that they have to begrudgingly accept despite it being irrational in the face of villains that kill a hundred babies just for the sake of a joke - and not as something born from Bruce's personality and compassion and a maybe fruitless but in the end reasonable hope for betterment. Like ffs idk why it's so hard for a lot of fans - and writers unfortunately - to realize that these are characters serving a purpose and that they have to be both dangerous foes and not-good people with unsavory traits and hard edges but also fleshed out characters with enough humanity and potential for reform - even if it's just tiny rare sparks of it - in them that Batman giving them second chances seems like an understandable decision and not just a plot limitation from the readers' pov...(this is ofc not to say that Batman can't have 100% evil villains, just those shouldn't be the ones he's trying to reform but rather villains like Falcone or Strange that represent societal evils. Or alternatively have it be one (not all. never all) of the villains he's trying to reform but have that be for the sake of Bruce's character development or so that the story can examine why he believes in reform the way he does, and not just because "oh look evil clown man eats children's faces! Look how edgy and dark and mature and cool this is!")

same anon so I hope this isn't too much but I felt the need to explain that with my ask I didn't mean to say that there should never be versions of these characters that go to more extreme lengths of villainy or alternatively versions that are decidedly less 'evil' or violent than their usual counterparts. those versions should exist - since they can be very interesting - as long as they serve a purpose in their story and aren't just there for the sake of edginess or woobification. I'd say a good example for this are the two newest non-comics versions of the Riddler from The Batman (2022) and Batman: Unburied respectively. The movie version is very much a villain that the audience is simply meant to hate, his hyper-violence - especially the part where he instructs his followers to 'mow [innocents] down like sheep' - as well as the way Bruce reacts to him make that very clear, but as a character he's still not just violent for edginess' sake but serves the movie's message both as a stand in for a real type of people that the movie wants to criticize as well as by being a horror image held up like a mirror in front of Bruce to push him out of his own hyper violent mindset. The podcast's version on the other hand is the opposite: a character meant to be likable - which is made obvious both by his position as a co-protagonist and by Bruce and Barbara's reactions to him- and - while still a criminal that's a far way from being a good person - a villain that's seemingly not particularly violent (at least in comparison to some other versions of the same character), but he still doesn't come across as 'too soft' or woobified because his characterization serves to illustrate the podcast's points about police brutality and corruption as well as its point about the treatment of convicts and rehabilitation and also serves to further Barbara's character development as well as the audience's entertainment, being a fun entertaining character and all. So yes villains don't all have to be in some sort of middle ground limbo of moral complexity they can be very evil or very likable even -this isn't to say that either of the two iterations i just referenced aren't complex characters of course - but like I mentioned in the main ask? It's all about their role in the story

thank you for the great asks anon! no need to apologize, i enjoyed reading your thoughts. very good points - the root of the problem wrt the weird ways people treat villains is that they forget that villains are characters in a story, meant to serve a purpose. they aren’t autonomous agents making their own decisions, they are written to be a certain way. it’s silly to want to reduce them to pure evil (or get angry at fans for daring to like them) or go the other way of basically removing their evil. and like you say, there can be villains that have little/no redeeming qualities or complexity, and villains that are highly sympathetic or likable, but it can’t work if they’re all like that. as a superhero, batman needs serious threats to ‘justify’ his existence - his villains need to to do nasty things in order to explain why he’d go after them in the first place. but, as you do such a great job of explaining:

“Like ffs idk why it's so hard for a lot of fans - and writers unfortunately - to realize that these are characters serving a purpose and that they have to be both dangerous foes and not-good people with unsavory traits and hard edges but also fleshed out characters with enough humanity and potential for reform - even if it's just tiny rare sparks of it - in them that Batman giving them second chances seems like an understandable decision and not just a plot limitation from the readers' pov”

you can’t let them be just cartoonishly evil either because then it calls into question batman’s ‘no kill’ policy - why should we, as an audience, buy that batman truly holds this ideal and that it isn’t simply there as a lame excuse to not kill off villains (even if that might be the ‘true’ reason for it)? there needs to be something there that can give batman hope, however small, that his rogues can change. his policy should feel like a deeply held belief and code, not an editorial mandate. 

and using those two recent non-comic riddlers as is a great way to show the dichotomy. reeves-verse eddie is an entertaining villain (with some sympathetic qualities) while still being one of the most evil/destructive interpretations of the riddler. he is a dark mirror to batman, like batman villains generally are. battinson wants to do good for gotham and its people. he thinks he is. the realization that he inspired riddler, inspired the man who almost killed alfred and flooded the city, shakes him to his core. battinson gets so angry at him partially because he’s horrified by the thought that he caused him. his epiphany about gotham needing more than fear, about becoming hope for gotham is because he emphatically does not want to be like riddler. 

on the other side there’s unburied riddler, i haven’t listened to it yet but from what you say and the posts i’ve seen he seems like a great depiction of a more sympathetic, understandable riddler. and then you have most other riddlers which sit between these two examples, in that middle ground of moral complexity. all can be good and interesting interpretations, so long as they are well written and serve their purpose in the story well - not just edgy for edgy’s sake or defanged and boring.

#thanks for the asks! always appreciate getting them #and unfortuntely fans treating characters like theyre real people doesnt just apply to villains #like ive seen people get angry at heroes for like. displaying negative traits? having flaws? #where the 'criticism' amounts to 'this character was MEAN' or 'this character did something that doesnt make sense (to me)' #its one thing to get annoyed at double standards because sometimes writers will show favoritism towards certain characters #and yea that can be annoying #and lord knows inconsistent writing is a problem esp in comics #but sometimes its really just fans getting annoyed that a hero is complicated and not perfectly nice all the time #and ofc real life biases can come into play here bc fans tend to be way harder on female characters and characters of color #woops im going on a bit of a tangent #just fandom things!!

[curejiraiya]

I don't usually like to headcanon more modern things into a story that are unrealistic to happen, at least not on a public post lol. like ik the average teenager in Japan 10 years ago isn't getting therapy as an option for their ailments I know that, but god idk I have to headcanon that both Hiro and Kouji get therapy between Rainbow Live and King of Prism they needed it so so so bad.

Kouji really needs to unpack how learning about how his father actually died and how the responsibilities of an adult were thrust on him when he was only a child caused him to distance himself mentally from everyone and everything, allowed insane depression to develop, and caused his self esteem to tank. like he got FUCKED up rightfully so by his dads death, did not grieve correctly, and then he's thrown even more information about it again when he's only like 15. That would literally make someone grieve again, he needs to talk to a professional and I think he does.

and fuck Hiro has so much to unpack. it's so much he needed to be in therapy by the age of 3. but specifically in the time gap he needed to work on his self esteem (he doesn't do this) but also his depression. like no I understand why he loses heart and motivation once Kazuki breaks his pride and snaps him to reality. But man, he has the eyes of a broken person. You don't just shift from broken and unable to function to completely normal overnight, there's a lasting impression even when things do get better. I think he got help getting back to normal. plus all the other problems he needs to unpack, his mom, his past, fuck his EVERYTHING.

Idk that man needs medication it would help him so so much and I think it does! I think that's how he gets better; a solid support group and medical help. there's my headcanon. Same with Kouji, like he has the strength to go to America and help and not shut down completely when something is going wrong because he got on medication and got help.

I also think like they continue this treatment lol, maybe when they're actually adults and not teenage adults they could look internally and decide if they still need help, and Kouji probably wouldn't anymore but Hiro's problems are lifelong. but through out Pride the Hero they're definitely still in therapy and on meds, or like at least had to pause their treatment for the plot of that movie and go back to it after.

actually this is my headcanon I can just say what I think happened. I think Kouji stops cuz he's in fucking America I don't think it's realistic to expect someone to see a therapist in a country they do not live in when they're like on a visa. that's what he is on right like he's 17 and he's on a work visa. do they even do that? google says there's no age limit so that's fine. but (even though his reaction is perfect I would not change a THING) I think it has him emotionally distancing himself again. like he puts it on himself to take this huge burden of raising money to save the school. he feels like he HAS to do this, which is true lol but he doesn't ask for help or mourn the loss of the fucking end of his senior year in highschool he just accepts it and goes to America. I feel like he probably wasn't doing very mentally well during that bit of his life lol and to be taken away (literally by being in a different country) from his mental health care would compound that issue. yeah. meanwhile I feel like Hiro is kinda a dope right, he probably still is in therapy throughout pride the hero because he doesn't really have a reason not to be, I just think he's probably not talking about anything important (I did this irl when I was slightly younger then he was in this movie so maybe this is a projection thing). like Hiro's like "hello therapist! today we will talk about the stress I feel when I think about this one specific and inconsequential piece of my childhood, and not idk my entire world crumbling down before me because of some distance between me and the man I like." like he's not emotionally mature enough to address the real problems he's facing yet, because unlike when he got therapy after Rainbow Live the problems aren't over.

but like that doesn't say anything about their characters idk I think it takes a LOT of strength to say "hey I need help" like THAT'S where they grew after Rainbow Live. they grew so much that they got the strength to be able to ask for help. they matured enough to realize they needed it, and to realize that no adult was going to do it for them.

idk I mean this actually isn't a crazy headcanon lmfao but I don't post headcanons usually cuz I'm scared people will make fun of my opinions ;-; but but this is an important one to meeeee these two boys need help! and I think they get it. they deserve to get it

#ramblings #king of prism #hayami hiro #mihama kouji #headcanons #dominic fucking proofread your post holy shit??????? this is UNREADABLE #DOMINIC THE GRAMMER GO BACK AND FIX IT #DONT HIT POST BEFORE YOU FIX IT NOOOOOOOO

[bakuvantea]

HEY BESTIE I HOPE YOUR HAVING AN AMAZING DAY

CAN I GET SOME GENERAL HEADCANONS WITH SUNG JIN-WOO WITH A FEMALE S/O

FEEL FREE TO IGNORE BUT REMEMBER TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

>:)

general relationship headcanons of sung jin-woo with his beloved s/o

- warnings: none! just a tad bit of nsfw implications

- audience: I made this gender neutral, i do hope that’s okay!!

- a/n: hello >:) anonnn (may i call u that? lmao-) here’s your request love!! thank you for your kind words <33 stay heathy, stay hydrated, and always rest up okay? hope you have an amazing day ahead too!!

also idk who jacob is-

-•-

: pre-awakened jin-woo (before entering the carthenon temple)

> he was always cautious, he didn't want [you] to hear the whispers going around about how you could've chosen someone better, about how you could've loved someone that was not him. thus, he was very shy and timid, always on edge when he feels the piercing stares from his batchmates -most especially when you try to initiate physical contact with him in your school or in public, you'd see him uncomfortable and so you'd immediately stop (because you respect him, ily). behind closed doors though he would always go above and beyond in pleasing you and making you feel loved, although he always doubts himself so you always make sure to give him praises and assure him that he is the one you love (not that jerk jacob from the class next door).

> he always wears spare hair ties or hair pins around his wrists in case you forget or lose yours. in fact when its weekends -and when he's not out infiltrating dungeons and positively offering his life on a silver platter- he always tries to study new hairdos and hairstyles so he can have more variations and choices when he ties or pins your hair for you. he'd always kiss the top of your head after and you'd feel his smile as he nuzzles your hair, smelling your shampoo. since his hair is also long, you'd also return the favor and tie his hair for him. his favorite would have to be the classic apple look with a pointy lock of hair erect in the middle -he really looks like a shih tzu, adorable-

> he.blushes.so.easily !!! he is very weak to praises and your lil kisses that pepper his face. you can see him glow and you even see his smile evidently becoming wider despite him shying away from you, looking downwards to avoid your loving gaze.

> he may be sht but he is also very playful towards you, teasing you and throwing pillows at you when you’re in his room, what a baby.

> often during dates he'd always need to leave early because he really needs to earn money and g to the dungeons. although you try to offer him some of your savings or your help during the dungeon raids, he'd always reject your offer, thinking of how it may burden you or the dungeon raids may possibly hurt you. you don't listen to him though, you give some of your savings to his sister when you cross paths in your school, and you'd always register after him in raids or call up someone you know to have you join in.

"(name) why are you here?!"

"angel face, i can handle myself just fine. it's my choice to help you and whether you like it or not, i've also been called for this raid. come love, we're going in."

> you'd always take his blue hoodie and wear it. he gets so shy when you smell it.

he gets frantic when you take his hoodie and start sniffing it, exclaiming; "stop! i smell weird."

you raise an eyebrow at him, "woo, you smell fine. i like it."

he tries to stutter a remark but was silenced by your smile.

> you always try to visit his mother with him and his sister, jinah. you always talk to their mother out loud and you'd see jinah smile gently at you and jin-woo trying to stop sniffles from escaping his lips by biting them and covering his face with his hoodie.

jinah: u simp

jin-woo: shut it

> he loved cuddles! but he really likes kissing your cheeks. he loves how soft they are and he loves feeling your cheeks move when you smile or laugh at his cute antics.

> he loves you so so dear

: post-awakened jin-woo (after the events of the carthenon temple)

> oh, dear it's the monarch-

> you weren't with him when he raided the "d-rank" dungeon that then turned out to be,, well pretty much a bloodbath, so you were very worried when you heard word of the news. you and jinah basically ran to the hospital and when you caught sight of him you almost fell down from relief and pure shock in seeing the state he's in. well, not long after though suddenly he's all buff and you were really trying to make sense of what's happening.

you: hello there good sir, what in the name of fck are you doing in my boyfriend’s room all sweaty and half-naked😀

jin-woo: (name) it’s me

you: haha yes, sir ‘it’s me’ that’s a pretty weird name but i don't judge, anyways my baby boy is not here uhm haha please get out of my boyfriend’s room

jin-woo: (name) it’s really me!

you: no sir, my woo radiates baby energy, you on the other hand radiates big dilf energy, haha i do not like what i am sensing so please for the life of me leave-

(jinah had to convince you that it is indeed jin-woo, you had her stop you from trying to hold his tiddies)

> you were very happy in seeing how confident he’s become, and you were even more proud with how he still says so humble despite his new accomplishments and title.

> it was obvious that he has become distant with others and have set a boundary between him and other hunters, you accept that part of him though since you know just how much he has gone through. he may act aloof towards others but he’s still very playful and comfortable with you.

> you have also noticed another thing though, he has become a bit possessive or much protective over you and jinah. he’d always have you bring a shadow with you to guard you when he can’t be with you. also, when someone stares at you for far too long, he’d step in and go, “hey there pal” and oh gosh was that enough to get the guy running (pretty damn hot)

> you still visit his mom with him, he doesn’t cry now though.

> when he trains, you’d insist on lying down below him when he does push-ups. you’d kiss him every time he swoops down and you’d hear him laugh which then makes you giggle as you hold his cheeks between your hands

> jinah is sick of the two you, always screaming about how on earth did her brother get an s/o before her, the audacity!

> his shadows adore you, of they’d always try to impress you or get head pats when you tell jin-woo to summon them for you. you live them to bits and always thanks them for a job well done in helping jin-woo with his raids. on the first time you accompanied him for a raid -you had to bribe him with more cuddles- and you were shocked with how his sweet adorable shadows turned a full 180, becoming ruthless towards the enemies. quite a show you’d say. after though, they’re back to flocking over you, even dismissing jin-woo lmao

jin-woo, watching you give each shadows head pats: i hate it here

you: get in line then

> it may be due to his newly acquired talents and his current mental and physical prowess but he has become more perceptive towards you. he can always read you and know just what your mood is and he always tries to make you feel better by giving his whole attention to you.

> of but of course, since dear jin-woo has become quite the looker, you also notice how girls flock over to him. and especially miss hae-in (she’s very sweet yes, but hey that’s your man so like—). the moment you discovered that she left her guild to join jin-woo’s, and then confessed (well basically she did) to your man, well you were upset but really who could blame her? instead of taking your frustrations out on her and your boyfriend, you decided to just talk it out with jin-woo and ask him about how it went. the two of you cleared it out and you got kisses and maybe even more after that ;))

> you and jin-ho are menaces to society when you are together, he hates how endearing and annoying you two can be. i mean, does he really hate it? nope, he absolutely loves seeing you two interact, although his head always throbs when you two start screaming to britney, gaga, and doja.

> a tease, he has become the master of being a tease, you hate it and love it at the same time. he’d trail kisses down your neck to your thighs and leave some marks then he’d suddenly walk away while asking you what take-out you want. rude, that’s what he is. ofc he always finished what he starts tho oop-

> he always randomly bites you now, you don’t know why but it’s really cute when he starts nibbling so you let him be.

> so extra when he tells you that he loves you. he professes it in such weird but adorable ways. one time he had printed out ‘i love you so much’ on a big-ass tarpaulin and had his shadows hold it for him while he’s kneeling down smoldering at you. you hate him so much (you don’t-). or that one time he bought a bouquet basket and had a ring tied to one of the flowers, you had to take the bouquet apart since the damn ring fell to the very bottom.

> sometimes when he gets back to the agency after his dungeon raids you and jin-ho would see him all grumpy and you immediately know that either he wasn’t able to make the enemy his soldier or his coat got ruined.

jin-woo: *sad noises*

jin-ho: that’s okay, you can kill and slaughter the others and take their souls next time

you: jin-ho couldn’t you have worded that better-

over-all, he’s the bestest boyfriend, such a sweet and handsome pretty boy much strong and reliable we love him<333

-•-

- a/n: i can add more to this if you’d like!! just hit me up again lmao it’s too long now so-

#sung jin woo x reader #sung jin woo #solo leveling #solo leveling x reader #manhwa #jin woo #jinwoo #sung jinwoo #winamikobabbles #sung jinwoo x reader