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flamencodiva · 4 years

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Who Do You Think You Are? 5 - Mutual Pining

Description: Y/N Y/L/N and Dean Winchester seem to bump into each other quite frequently. What happens when these two hunters rub each other the wrong way?

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Bingo Square: Mutual Pining

Warnings: Smut, Fluff, Angst, Mentions of Child Neglect, Mentions of Drug Abuse.

A/N: For SPN Dean Bingo Round One

Divider by @talesmaniac89

“7” a voice called out as the sounds of slicing filled the warehouse.

“10,” a female voice called back. “You’re getting slow in your old age Dean.”

Y/N laughed as she turned and sliced the head of a vampire ready to charge at her.

“11,” she sang.

“You’re cheating!” Dean called as he sliced two vamps back to back.

“Could you two not turn things into a competition?!” Sam’s annoyed voice called back. “Seriously I think I liked it better when you guys were angry at each other.”

“Shut up, Sam!” Dean and Y/N shouted.

The trio moved their way around the warehouse. Once they determined that the warehouse was clear they cleaned up the chaos and made their way out. Y/N and Dean leaned against the Impala drinking beer as Sam watched them. He could see the stolen glances between them and the lingering touches. But he could also see where Y/N pushed Dean away, and Dean allowed it.

“I so, beat you,” Y/n smiled as she took a big gulp of her beer.

“No way sweetheart,” Dean shook his head and nudged her. “I chopped off more heads than you.”

“Oh Geez,” Sam sighed. “Are you guys really going to do this?”

“Sam,” Y/N shook her head. “You just need to get laid.”

“So do you,” Sam retorted.

Dean chuckled, shaking his head. He glanced over at Y/N, she looked more relaxed now than she had in months. Since that time in the motel room where they relaxed and started their friendship over. She didn’t talk much about what happened, but he heard her crying some nights. Whatever it was he wanted to hurt whoever hurt her.

“Trust me, Sam,” She gave him a wink. “I get plenty. Especially with the battery-operated ones.”

“Oh, geez Y/N come on!” Sam groaned. “I mean you and Dean were--”

Sam was interrupted by the familiar sounds of Ozzy’s ‘Crazy Train’ coming from Y/N’s pocket.

“Uncle T?” Y/N straightened her back. “Calm down, what’s going on?”

In California, around five hours earlier.

Nikki Sixx was returning home from his day at physical therapy. His shoulder was healing nicely and he was working hard to make sure he could get back to work. His wife, Courtney, was in charge of giving him his medications and keeping them out of reach. As a recovering addict, Nikki trusted her to keep him safe. Walking into the foyer, he found his youngest daughter, Frankie Sixx, waiting for him.

“Hey, Frankie,” He gave her a hug. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah!” She returned his hug. “I came to drop off something I bought at an antique store!” Frankie took her Father’s hand and led him to the living room.

There on the coffee table sat a rosewood and jade jewelry box. It gave Nikki a weird feeling that there was something wrong with it. Walking up to it he used his good arm to let his fingers dance along the wood. He studied the small doors on the box with the jade paneling.

“I-- It’s,” Nikki rubbed his chin as he studied the jewelry box. “Where did you find it?”

“There was this antique store on the strip and I just thought it would look cool in the living room.” Frankie shrugged as she made her way towards the couch.

“Thank You,” Nikki chuckled.

The two of them talked for about an hour before Frankie decided it was time to head to her apartment. Being a freshman in college was hard work. And Nikki was proud of all his kids, even the one who didn’t want him. Once Frankie had left, Nikki found himself alone in the house. Cortney was doing a photoshoot and wouldn’t be home until later. He decided to make himself a sandwich and settle in with a movie.

As Nikki was watching the movie, the lights began to flicker slightly. Rolling his eyes he gave a small huff.

“Must be an earthquake messing with the power,” he looked at his dog Houdini. The dog gave a small whine, almost as if he was afraid of something. “What’s wrong Houdini?”

The dog let out a small whine before padding off out of the room. Nikki looked around wondering if something was amiss. With a heavy sigh, he settled back and concentrated on the movie. Not a minute later and he was shivering. The room began to feel cold.

‘Thief,’ A voice called.

“What?” Nikki said as he winced, sitting up straighter and looking around. “Who’s there?”

Nikki shivered and let out a breath. His eyes furrowed together as he saw his own breath.

“What the fuck?” he muttered. “When did the temperature drop?” getting up from the couch he made his way to the thermostat and tilted his head in confusion. “It’s at 75°,” he scratched his head and grumbled.

‘Drunken murderer, and thief!’ the voice wailed again.

Nikki turned to see a woman dressed in what he could only describe as a Victorian era dress, hair pinned up and her eyes glared at him.

“Holy shit,” he breathed as he stood frozen in fear.

‘Thief!’ it screeched before charging at Nikki and knocking him backwards.

He winced in pain and held on to his repaired shoulder. Scrambling for his keys he didn’t want to stay and figure out what was going on. But he needed to get out of his house. Rushing to his car. He drove as fast and carefully as he could to Tommy's house.

“He said it was a ghost?” Y/N asked slowly as she looked at Dean and Sam.

Rolling her eyes she let out a small huff as she heard her uncle explain everything that her father had told him.

“And why would he want to call me?” she huffed and froze at whatever her uncle had said. “Mom? He mentioned my mother?”

Dean watched as she scrunched her face up in confusion. He could tell she was trying to digest whatever her uncle was telling her. When she hung up, she looked to Sam and Dean and sighed.

“Do you guys think you can help me out with a case?” she asked. “But I know it’s probably nothing. Last time I got a call like this, my brother tried to trick me with an EMF generator.”

“Yeah,” Dean said, immediately earning a glare from Sam. “Sam and I can go as FBI or as some Detectives if you want?”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” She made her way to her car before turning to them, “Just don’t use your Motley Crue aliases, or any of the rock aliases.”

“Any reason why?” Sam asked as he raised his eyebrow at her.

“Let’s just say that my dad and uncle are die hard rock fans and will tell right away when something is up,” she reasoned.

“Sounds fair,” Sam said with a smile. “What’s the address?”

After Y/N gave them the location, Sam and Dean couldn’t help but look at one another.

“Is it me,” Dean let out in a huff. “Or did she seem nervous about us meeting her family?”

“I mean, she’s told us plenty of times that her dad hasn’t been the best,” Sam reasoned. “Could be that she’s doing it as a favor to her uncle. She seems to get along with him.”

Dean hummed softly as he nodded, “Yeah, maybe.” He stayed closely behind Y/N’s car as they made their way to their next hunt.

“California,” Sam breathed. “We were last there…”

“Was that ghost case on that movie set?” Dean breathed.

“Yeah, you banged that movie star,” Sam let out a chuckle.

“Those were good times,” Dean sighed as he reminisced.

“So you and Y/N are just friends?” Sam let out as he flipped through his book.

“Yes, Sam, just friends. Can you drop it?” Dean growled.

“I mean, you guys were pretty hot and heavy for a while and then--” he trailed off. “Did something happen?”

“We’re better off as just friends, that’s all. It’s no big deal.” Dean brushed him off.

“Dean--” Sam began.

“Don’t,” Dean spat. “We tried the benefits thing and it didn’t work. We decided being friends is better.”

“That’s why you keep giving her the puppy dog look,” Sam muttered under his breath.

“I do not!” Dean said as he looked at Sam. “one, I don’t have to give her the puppy dog look. And B, we’re just friends!”

“You keep telling yourself that Dean,” Sam chuckled. “Besides, you guys keep sneaking glances at each other. I think it’s cute.”

“We do not!” Dean scoffed. “I mean sure she can’t keep her eyes off me, but I do not sneak glances at her.”

“Yeah, okay,” Sam said as he lifted his hands up in defeat. “Just saying. You two are good together. So what’s the harm?”

“You know the harm Sam.” Dean sighed. “We tried and it failed.”

“No,” Sam argued. “You had an agreement and it failed. It is not the same as a relationship.”

“Look can we drop it please?” Dean mumbled.

Sam nodded and sat back in his chair. The drive to California and to Y/N’s uncle’s house was not too long, but it wasn’t a short ride either. Dean and Sam both whistled as Y/N’s car pulled up to a gate leading to a mansion. Slowly following behind Y/N, Dean wondered what kind of family Y/N came from. He knew her mom was a hunter, but she never talked about her dad being rich. Parking the cars, Dean watched as Y/N grabbed her bags and made her way towards them.

“Okay,” she breathed. “Promise you won’t freak out.”

“Why would we--” the question that was on Dean’s lips was answered the minute the door to the house opened and a tall skinny man with short black hair and a beard came running down the steps.

“Booger!” he called out as he enveloped Y/N in his arms. “Glad you came when I called. Your dad is shaken up. I mean he keeps talking about a ghost and I figured you could talk some sense into him.”

“You could have called Gunner, Storm, Decker, or Frankie,” Y/N grumbled. “Why me?”

“He insisted,” her uncle sighed. “Said that it had to do with your mom and that you would believe him.”

Dean watched as Y/N nodded and motioned for him and Sam to get closer.

“These are some detective friends of mine,” she said with a smile.

“Detectives Smith and Smith,” Sam said with a smile. “No relation.”

“Tommy Lee,” Dean let out in a high pitched choke. “You’re Tommy Lee. Your uncle is Tommy Fuckin Lee, Y/N!”

“Yeah I noticed,” she smiled. “Unless he was taken over by aliens.”

“Wait,” Dean pulled her back. “Your dad. You kept calling him--” the realization hit Dean like a ton of bricks. “You kept calling him Nick, holy shit your dad is Nikki Sixx!”

“Please don’t remind me,” she breathed. “Look let’s get inside, deem it a hoax and that he’s on his pain meds and call it a day, okay?”

Sam and Dean walked behind Y/N and Tommy making their way inside the drummers house. Dean couldn’t help but feel giddy at meeting some legends of rock. He was in Tommy Lee’s house! He was going to meet Nikki Sixx. Fuck, Y/N was Nikki Sixx’s daughter? He wasn’t sure how he should feel. On one hand, he loved the bassist. There was no doubt that his songs were hits. But then, there was the way Y/N talked about him and how she grew up. Dean stood back as he watched Y/N standing in front of her father, Nikki Sixx! But the look on Y/N’s face told Dean she wasn’t happy to be here.

“Okay, let’s get this over with,” she sighed and looked to Dean and Sam. “Sixx, these are some friends of mine, Dean Smith and Sam Smith, no relation. They deal with this kind of thing.”

“Y/N I was hoping that--”

“Talk to them,” she snapped, “Whatever drug induced hallucination you got yourself into I want no part of it,” She spat.

“Y/N your dad has been sober for years now! Trust me, this isn’t a drug induced hallucination,” Tommy said as he tried to plead with her.

“It’s okay, Tommy,” Nikki sighed as he waved him off with his good arm, “This is my punishment for what I did to her during her childhood.”

“Excuse us, Mr. Sixx,” Sam interrupted as he cleared his throat, “As your daughter said we are experts and we’d like to help,” he held out his hand for Nikki to shake.

The bassist raised an eyebrow at him before reluctantly shaking Sam’s hand. “You can call me Nikki, Mr. Sixx makes me sound old,” the bassist joked, “How do you two know my daughter?”

“Not your daughter! Only someone who shares your DNA,” Y/N huffed.

“We work closely with her on certain projects,” Dean explained, “I gotta say, I love you band! I mean Kickstart My Heart is the ultimate get pumped song to really start your day. Also Take Me To The Top is a classic!”

“Yeah,” Nikki shook Dean’s hand while looking at him curiously, “good to know you’re a fan. So… about my situation?”

“Yes!” Sam said as he nudged Dean with his elbow, “Is there a place we could all sit to talk about what you experienced?”

“Yeah, You guys can use my living room,” Tommy announced as he smiled at them, “Nikki can lead the way.”

Y/N watched as Nikki led Sam towards the living room while Dean stayed behind. She couldn’t help but notice the look of concern over the hunters face as Tommy walked towards her.

“Y/N, you okay?” Dean asked as he made his way towards her.

“Fine,” she huffed, “you got follow after them, I’ll be right there.”

“Okay if you’re sure,” Dean gave her a reassuring smile before turning around and following after Sam and Nikki.

“He likes you,” Tommy spoke up, “And you are so crushing on him.”

“Shut up,” Y/N scoffed, “We had a thing, it got complicated so I stopped it.”

“Your dad is really spooked, Kid,” Tommy said running a hand across his face, “He really thinks he saw a --”

“Ghost?” Y/N let out a small huff, “Please, Gunner got me back during his surgery and said the same thing only for me to figure out it was all fake. This is just another attempt to get me to talk to him and forgive him.”

“Holding in all that anger isn’t good for you, and your mom--”

“My mom died because of him,” she hissed, “He couldn’t protect me and she dumped his junkie ass!”

“Hey--”

“No! I brought my friends to help him and that’s it,” She growled, “I’m not here to make up with him, or be his daughter,” she clarified, “He never wanted me in the first place, and the guy you claim I’m crushing on? I’m not the type of girl he would go for in a relationship anyways.”

Before her uncle said another word, Y/N stormed off towards his living room. She passed Dean who had squished himself against the wall having heard everything she said. Shaking his head, he took a deep breath before following behind her. Reminding himself that while she was wrong in not being his type, she was right about them trying. But then again, they didn’t really try to begin with.

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Who Do You Think You Are?

@spnfamily-j2 @fantasydevil2002

#FlamencoDiva #Who Do You Think You Are?#SPNDeanBingo #Dean Bingo 2019-2020 #Dean Winchester #Dean Winchester Fic #Supernatural #Supernatural Fan Fiction #Dean Angst #Angry Dean #FlamencoDiva Writes

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pilferingapples · 3 years

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Brick Club, 1.4 entire (retro)

Cosette's story often has such a fairy-tale feel, and it starts with this section (what should I be calling these chunks of text? the X.X sections as a whole, not the X.X.X ones? Volumes?) .

And yet I'm not at all sure why I get that feeling quite so strongly, in terms of narrative technique. The initial namelessness of the cast, with Two Mothers echoing the way people in fairy tales are Mothers and Millers and Eldest Daughters? But if Fantine is presented as if she was s stranger to us again, it's not different than what happens with JVJ, and his story never feels this way. The Three Sisters made by Cosette, Eponine , and Azelma maybe? That's a very fairy-tale motif indeed. Something about the way the inn itself is described..?

Augh, I absolutely cannot put my finger on it. Still, something about this passage feels as ominous and certain and doomed as if the inn was a gingerbread cottage and Fantine was vowing to keep silent for seven years while making shirts out of nettles.

Notes on Various Things under the cut:

- love that the inn sign is really badly made. I've seen several attempts at it in various adaptations and they're always a disaster and it's excellent, I want a collection.

- the cart is covered with "the same ugly yellow mud sometimes used to decorate cathedrals". The cart that is A Metaphor for outdated social institutions. I see you, Hugo.

- I will FIGHT Hugo about peasant/working class women's clothing in this era, this outfit would be super charming! But it's definitely more about utility and practical wear than Fantine's old outfits. There are roughly a billion dissertations to be written about the way that things working class people do and use are , through history, treated as inherently ugly/undesirable, regardless of how much art and beauty might actually have gone into it; I feel like the classism kinda speaks for itself on that. And then,since Hugo's already drawn a huge Romantic Aesthetic defining line between the Useful and the Beautiful in this book, I think I can fairly just quote Gautier's explanation of the issue -- "Nothing is really beautiful but that which cannot be made use of; everything that is useful is ugly, for it is the expression of some need, and the needs of man are vile and disgusting, like his poor, weak nature" -- and leave this for now. I suspect it will come up again.

- Fantine has been "marked by irony" --that is, scarred by her time with Tholomyes. I do like the way this new line on her face sounds almost like a dueling scar. Fantine's a fighter in her own way!

- ...Tholomyes is gonna make it to at least 1828, meaning he'll outlive everyone we love in this story except Cosette and Marius. And he'll do it while being "always a man of pleasure"--I feel like there's an implicit suggestion that Cosette has a lot of half-siblings in the world, all of them with a story as important as hers, if only people would take them seriously.

- ...as a Somewhat Taller Than Average woman myself, I am rather delighted by Hugo's obvious terror of women who are Not Tiny. ( And I realize I'm probably Reaching to think that Mme T might have been much happier and more well-adjusted if she weren't trying to cram her giant self into a tiny box of Ideal Femininity? Maybe she'd have been much more ok if she'd been able to go into showbiz and get famous as a weightlifter or something. )

But I do think there's a real sort of sadness to her introductory chapters. She had an ideal dream for her own life , and it wasn't even a particularly ambitious one--just a love story, really-- and it's fallen through as much as anyone else's hoped-for Ideal in the novel. She's still trying to hang onto it at this point, but we're already given a glimpse of the future when she'll not only have given up on that ideal, but come to despise herself for it. This is no way absolves her of her cruelty towards others, but I think she's a more complex villain (and she is a villain) than she's sometimes treated as.

- Fantine does try to lie about having been married, here! ...but she also comes right out and tells people she's making a financial Deal with exactly how much money she has, and how much she's able to give over, before it's all settled. It's painful how ill-prepared she is to deal with this kind of economic manipulation (and I think "prepared" is really relevant; she's had no one more naturally skilled or experienced to teach her how to handle these things, and business negotiations, which this is, are incredibly complicated) .

Seeing how much money Mme T gets for Cosette's fine clothes makes me strongly suspect that Fantine was severely underpaid for pawning her own fancy things--unless, and I guess this is possible, her "putting all her finery" on Cosette is meant to be literal, and Cosette's current clothes are directly made of Fantine's old fancy outfits.

- Fantine tries to lie about having been married , and the neighbors *see* her crying as she leaves Cosette, and Cosette must have been well dressed and all for that first months or so...but still, everyone believes the Thenardiers when they start telling the town that Cosette is an abandoned, illegitimate child. They believe it because Cosette looks the part, and Cosette looks the part because the Thenardiers force her into it. In so many ways, Fantine is never in control of the narrative about her child, and What People Say about them does indeed matter more than anything she does--no amount of effort, no show of love, can save her and Cosette when everyone else has decided they're socially damned.

...but on the less thematic and more practical side,how on earth are the Thenardiers learning about her marital status? Seriously, was this freely avaialable info? This issue is something that comes up several times in the novel and I really have no idea what access to people's family records was like?

- we get our first negative association with a cat , hm

- ...workers have "generous impulses", huh? (also I am not at all sure if the corresponding Bourgeois Respectability is meant to be entirely a good thing, but I'm not sure it's NOT , like I would be with Some Writers? Agh)

- The Thenardiers' animal souls are :

French: écrevisses

Hapgood: crab-like FMA: crabs Rose: crayfish Donougher: lobsters

Google Translate agrees with Rose, but I wonder if this isn't one of those words that was colloquially used to mean a general category of creatures in its day --Things Like a Crayfish/lobster/crab-- and has come to mean something very specific now?

- ..y'know, what really kills me about Cosette in this every time is how everyone , *everyone* in this town really either believes she deserves her abuse, or thinks it's BETTER than she deserves. This is not happening in secret, behind closed doors, in a private house; it's at the public inn and very blatant. Everyone knows she's out in the cold , first up every morning, starving and beaten, in a home where the other kids somehow have more than enough (because their parents steal it from Cosette, directly). And not one person in this discount Omelas even thinks it's bad , much less intervenes. It's a point in the Thenardiers' favor, socially. This isn't just the gamins of Paris being brushed aside,this is a whole town actively citing horrible child abuse as the Moral and Good Option that elevates the people doing it.

And in this, I suppose, Cosette shares a history with Valjean-- they're both put through absolutely horrific abuse , which is not just societally ignored, or accepted with jaded apathy , but openly lauded as morally correct. I hate Montfermeil so much-- but Montfermeil is not really different from Arras, or Digne, or any other place where people think that abuse of the "deserving" is a Good Thing.

#LM 1.4 #brickclub #brick club #LM 1.4.1 #LM 1.4.3 #LM 1.4.2 #child abuse mention #long psot #long post

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peace-coast-island · 3 years

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Diary of a Junebug

Taking our sweet time (seriously, there's no need to hurry)

Whenever life gets too much to handle it should be socially acceptable to say fuck it and peace out for a while. I get that constant procrastination isn't good but sometimes you really need to step back and take a goddamn break.

You don't have to take on the world all at once - in fact you don't have to do anything at all just to feel worthy of something. It's the little things that matter and your worth shouldn't be measured solely by your achievements. There's nothing wrong with being average - or even below that - what should matter is that you're happy and doing what you like.

At least that's what I'm hoping to get across to Pai and her adventuring companions. From burnout to things not going as planned due to factors out of everyone's control, they are definitely in need of a break.

Pai's stepping into the world of perilous adventuring after running across Connie, a wanderer who's made a name for themselves in Bonsai Harbor. Connie's from another world, having been separated from their sibling. Along the way, they saved Pai from being eaten by a slime crystal monster, so now Pai feels indebted to them. They haven't known each other for too long but they act like old, playfully bickering buds.

While trying to find their footing, Pai suggested seeking help from the Knights of Windwail and the Adventurer's Guild. Then they got wrapped up in adventuring, world quests, and earned the status of honorary knights. Along the way they came across other adventurers from the Knights and the Guild, forming their own adventure team.

Amber was the first friend Connie and Pai made at Bonsai Harbor. She was the one who taught Connie how to use a wind glider as well as the ins and outs of the city. As an outrider of Windwail and master pyro archer with ties to the Adventurer's Guild, she got them covered. Pai says that they're lucky they ran into Amber as she knows a lot about pretty much everything Bonsai Harbor. It's fun listening to her talk about her home, the other team members, and their latest adventures - she's basically the group's spokesperson.

The second friend they met is also a knight, Captain Lucien, also known as Luci to friends and elders. He's a well known swordfighter with piercing cryo powers that can freeze anything for a short time. Luci was a big help for Connie and Pai when they got cornered by fireball slimes. In return, the duo offered to help him retrieve a stolen katana, which resulted in them discovering other lost weapons and earned the trust and respect of the head of the Windwail Knights.

Noelle and Bennett were next to join the gang of adventurers, coming to them at the right time by chance. Connie, Pai, Amber, and Luci were ambushed on the outskirts of the city while on an investigation when their reinforcements came to the rescue.

Pai summoned Noelle by accident as she happened to be nearby when things were going south. Noelle is who they call a maid without a master - meaning she does things like cleaning, cooking, and running errands for pretty much anyone who calls for her. Rumor has it that one can easily summon Noelle just by calling out her name to the wind, which is what Pai did. As a fighter, Noelle can summon a geo shield that provides healing powers when activated, plus she's got a badass looking claymore sword that's not only great for fighting off enemies, but also for mining and destroying obstacles.

Bennett also happened to be nearby when the gang was attacked. He's an adventurer with pyro powers who hasn't had too much luck in recruiting members for his group. He's a good fighter, but for some reason things never really work out in his favor, so that's why no one seeks him out. It's a shame because he's a sweet and likable guy but his bad luck overshadows the good. Up until meeting Connie and Pai, he was considering giving up as an adventurer because he wasn't getting anywhere. Then he heard Pai screaming for help and came running along.

Since Noelle and Bennett didn't have anything better to do, they decided to tag along. Noelle still gets summoned once in a while, mainly for menial tasks that don't take too much out of her day. Of course, with the gang being all the way over here at the camp, they're all on vacation from their jobs - most for the first time in years, if ever.

It's a good thing Pai dragged them out here because they all deserve a vacation. And not only that, they deserve regular vacations - time where they can breathe and do nothing without feeling guilty. Given what they've all done over the past several weeks, it's no wonder they're feeling burnt out.

After saving the city and earning the status of honorary knights, Connie and Pai set out to explore the nearby city of Starcatcher. Before heading off, they gained another member - Seraphina the idol of the Windwail Church. She's got hydro powers and the ability to heal. She was the one who helped Connie sneak into the cathedral basement to retrieve a cursed artifact and came to the rescue in the nick of time by healing the gang during a showdown with a monster terrorizing the city.

At Starcatcher, the gang met up with Xingqiu and Xiang. Connie and Pai had met Xiang earlier when she was visiting the harbor and helped her gather ingredients for a cooking contest. Connie was hoping to run into Xiang again in the near future so as soon as they arrived at the city, they went looking for her. Apparently they just missed her as she was out on another culinary adventure.

Then Connie and the others were caught up in commissions there, getting familiar with the city. While searching for a rare book, they met Xingqiu, a descendant of a once prosperous family who helped the gang get through the red tape for intel. He's a master swordfighter with hydro powers that can form powerful whirlpools. Pai and Luci were a bit skeptical of him as he seemed to pop in and out whenever he wanted without explaining, but in the end he earned their trust.

Xiang finally met up with the gang not too long after they finished a mission involving finding jade fragments in the ruins. She joined just in time to help take down a bunch of ruin guards, except that didn't go so well. The gang barely made it out alive before having to retreat and Sera and Noelle's healing powers can only help so much. So they decided to put that off and focus on other missions.

But then the quests started to pile up as more of them were beyond their scope. According to Luci, all of them are capable fighters - on their own. As a team, their biggest problem is that they're too slow, especially when it comes to fighting large monsters like ruin guards. The problem lies with efficiency - the team lacks coordination. That, along with the group not being the most prepared or equipped - the latter is something they're trying to fix - is what's dragging the team down.

Though, to be fair, no one really knows what they're doing. After all, Pai and Connie met by chance and their team just kinda fell together. We don't know if we're getting any closer to helping Connie reunite with their family, which is the main reason why they're going on all these missions. As for the others, they're just there for the ride, not knowing exactly what they're doing either, but are more than happy to help when needed.

I have to say, I'm flattered that Pai decided to take Connie and the others all the way here. I don't know where Bonsai and Starcatcher are other than really, really far out there. Pai doesn't really come out here much - I think she only comes to see Jamie, so I'm guessing that's how she knows about the camp. I also heard it's not easy to travel from where's she's from as they're pretty much like different dimensions, making it even more impressive.

So far, I think the break's been helping out a lot. It's been nice getting to know the others and just hanging out with them. Again, it's kinda sad that most of them had never taken a vacation before, so the idea of leisure took some getting used to. Aside from introductions, we mostly steered away from talking about quests and missions.

Noelle, of course, enjoys running errands. She likes collecting fruit, fish, and bugs, and getting to know the campers. Noelle kinda reminds me of my mom as she finds doing things like cleaning relaxing. It's not surprising that she likes speed cleaning videos as they can be satisfying to watch. I wouldn't mind watching videos with Noelle sweeping the cabin or scrubbing the counters - she makes those tasks look fun!

Amber's into hiking and climbing into high places where she can jump off and glide. She's teaching me and Daisy Jane how to glide and it's a bit terrifying, though I'm slowly getting the hang of it. I think that's the closest I'll ever get to flying!

Now that she has a lot of free time on her hands, Amber wants to make custom gliders for the team - and for me, Daisy Jane, and Isabelle as well. They look hard to make, so the fact that they can be made by hand is impressive. All of Amber's gliders are handmade and it takes a special skill to not only make a glider that looks pretty but also functional. She used to take orders for custom made gliders before things got too busy so she's glad to be getting back into it. I can't wait to see how they turn out!

Seraphina has been getting into impromptu jam sessions with the campers, putting on a little concert every night so far. She's got a lovely voice with a pure sweetness I find endearing. Being out here at the camp has helped her get back into singing so she hopes the nightly concerts will keep her going. Her love for poetry shows through her lyrics as she has a way with words and evoking emotions through imagery.

She says the camp kinda reminds her of Bonsai Harbor, particularly the meadows, which probably explains why she's inspired to sing again. As much as she enjoys adventuring, she misses her home a lot. Still, Seraphina knew what she was signing up for when she wanted to tag along with Connie and Pai. While her roots are in Bonsai Harbor, she wanted to take the opportunity to explore the world around her. If it wasn't for Connie and Pai, who knows when she'll get another chance to do so?

Luci, as expected, took some adjusting to the whole idea of leisure. He's not what they consider the workaholic type - in fact, he's pretty lax - but he's the kind of person who's mind is usually on work mode. He's task oriented, always thinking about getting stuff done, preferably without too much time and effort. It's understandable that he wants the team to be in tip top shape by practicing their fighting skills and coordinating their efforts, but it's not healthy to be constantly focusing on that. After all, the main reason why they're all here is to get their minds off that.

While there will be fighting practices eventually, for now it's best to take it easy. According to the others, Luci's not one to stress out over things, so the fact that he is starting to get a little bit stressed is a warning sign. He was a bit restless and fidgety at first, but he's in a completely unfamiliar place and not doing any adventuring or knight stuff for the first time ever so it's understandable. In a way it kinda feels like post grad life when you're pretty much done with school forever and now you don't know what to do with yourself.

Like Noelle, Luci's been running errands and hanging with the campers. He's been trying a bit of everything - hiking, fishing, bug catching, gardening, building furniture - he's a jack of all trades. So far, he's been enjoying all these activities, especially crafting stuff with Reese and Cyrus. In fact, when he got a look at Daisy Jane's gyroid designs, he wanted to join in on the fun too!

Looks like the adventure team's gonna be back at the camp for a gyroid event (or more) as Noelle, Amber, Xiang, and Seraphina want to design stuff as well. So there's potential for many more visits, which will be amazing!

Xiang's been cooking up a storm - figuratively for the most part. Thankfully, since it's outdoors, damage was minimal - though it's fire so while it wasn't that bad, the potential for disaster was high. Thankfully Seraphina and Xingqiu quickly put out the fires so crisis averted.

She's the kind of chef who likes experimenting in the kitchen, coming up with the most unusual recipes. Apparently the slime creatures they fight off leave essences that can be edible, so she keeps vials of them. Fire ones are spicy, wind ones have a dry, bitter flavor, icy ones are kinda minty with a hint of honey, water ones are umami - it's interesting to learn about. Other unusual ingredients Xiang has on hand are ground up boar horns, jade sparkledust, snowflake ash, and clearfish scales.

Don't let the unusual ingredients fool you - most of her food is not only edible, but also delicious. There's a reason why the gang isn't worried about starving if stranded in the middle of nowhere. Xiang can even make dirt edible - something which she's trying to do but hasn't figured out yet.

Xingqiu has taken an interest in gardening, which is perfect because I have been once again neglecting my garden. Maybe neglecting is a strong word but lately, other than flower events, I haven't been planting much. I'm trying to keep up with that but it's so much effort, especially trying to cross-pollinate for rare flowers. Xingqiu considers himself a novice when it comes to planting flowers but he's already got much better luck than me with getting rare seeds. I think his water powers have something to do with the blooms coming out more vibrant and full than usual.

He and Noelle have also been into taking interior decor classes with Lotte at the Happy Room Academy. Speaking of that, I've kinda fallen behind on those classes too. Sunny's rank is Legend while I've been lingering at Master - I didn't even know there was a Legend rank until Sunny told me.

Well, just because I run the camp doesn't mean I can do everything. I've tried, but as the camp grew, I had to learn how to prioritize. While I can put in some time to gardening and catching up with Happy Room Academy classes, they're not something I really want to do. As for gardening, I kinda have a love-hate thing so tending to that feels more like a chore than a fun activity. I'm not the best at gardening and I'm okay with that.

As for Connie, they've been working nonstop since meeting Pai. They've kinda fallen into the leader role by default and as a result has been under a lot of pressure. They mentioned feeling a bit guilty, like being miscast in a role or something. There's also the fact that Connie pretty much started from the ground up, so they worked extra hard to earn everyone's respect as well as be able to fight in combat on the same level as the others. They've done so much in such a short time, Pai was right in trying to get them to slow down.

Like Luci said, they're all capable fighters, but as a team they still have a lot to learn. To put it bluntly, compared to other adventurers in terms of combat and strategy, they're pretty average. All of them admit they're a bit of a mess - then again, who isn't? As much as they have accomplished together, there's always a voice in the back of their minds questioning whether they could've done better. And it's not just themselves, it's also the societal pressure to not only do well, but to exceed and be the best. While that tries to be a motivating message, it does more harm than good.

That brings me back to my main point - you don't have to be exceptional at what you do. It's a message I'm still learning myself, especially since I grew up in a culture where I'm told that I'm not trying hard enough if I'm not constantly pushing my limits. Despite what society wants you to think, it's okay to be average, to just be.

After all, none of them chose to adventure for status and prestige - they're pretty much here because they seek excitement and want to help Connie. As for Connie, they never expected to become somewhat a hero in Bonsai Harbor and Starcatcher, they just wanted to help others. So what if they stumble more than fly? Just because all of them can't take down a massive monster doesn't make them less capable as adventurers - it just means combat isn't one of their strong suits yet - and that's okay. After all, they're still getting to know each other and such.

For now, we're all just gonna take our sweet time just chilling out. Self-care's important, but sometimes we get so caught up in everything else that we put ourselves last.

#animal crossing #animal crossing pocket camp #Diary of a Junebug #headcanon ramble

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thewebcomicsreview · 4 years

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What’s that? I’m talking about Homestuck too much lately? Well, too bad, it updated and I’m-a livebloggin’ it. This chapter contains a content warning for child abuse and I’m thus putting the rest of this post below a Read More, though I’m live blogging and don’t know what the child abuse content actually is.

Looks like we’re with Jane, so this might be the chapter with Yiffy in it! But probably not, because they’re gonna drag it out. Incidentally, since the rebellion consists of two max-level characters, four god tiers (John, Jake, Rose, and Jade), and now Vriska who is the 8est fighter 8y far, how does Jane even stand a chance? Good thing for her that she pre-emptively took a hostage!

JANE: (I've always been pretty good at crying on cue.) JANE: (Could I try staging an emotional breakdown?) JANE: (That could work; playing to people's humanity.) JANE: (Or whatever is the more inclusive term.)

I do like that Jane, a genocidal human-supremacist dictator, is worried about being “inclusive” in her propaganda. I wonder if she’s starting to drift from Trumphitler into Nancy Pelosi, now. Also interesting: She’s apparently using Gamzee’s death for propaganda value, cool and all, but her superpower is literally raising the dead. I can buy that Jane would rather use her ex-boyfriend for propaganda than revive him, but won’t the people of Earth C have questions?

DIRK: Dude, the bowl. JAKE: Hm? JAKE: Oh, right. JANE: What is it now, Jake. JAKE: I brought something for our guest as well. JANE: You mean the prisoner. JAKE: Y...es.

I realize that Yiffygate made the patreon rocket to the stratosphere, but I hope we’re not actually getting to see her so soon. It’s more fun to speculate. For instance, she’s apparently getting meals in a dog bowl. Is that because she’s literally half dog, moreso than Jade, and is feral in some way? That’s been hinted at a little, but it’s also possible Jane’s just tormenting her to be a bitch. As we saw when she was Crockerfied in Act 6, Jane’s got a bit of a sadistic streak in her.

Well, that was answered pretty fucking fast! Okay, let’s not click next just yet. If we’re only getting one panel to speculate, let’s milk it like a dying webcomic franchise: Preppy bording school outfit, but with cleats, so she’s apparently an athlete. Lots of pink highlights on her outfit (shoes/socks/tie). She’s got a black dog tail, but appears to have light hair? I like this design, actually, or what little of it we’re seeing. I was half-expecting Yiffy to be a full-on Deviantart parody, but I think the angle we’re going here is “a mostly normal girl, besides being part dog, who’s just been absolutely shit on by life and every adult she’s ever encountered”. It’s not her fault her name is Yiffany, y’know? She didn’t ask for this.

Let’s see how right I am.

JANE: Well, go on then. JANE: She's over in the corner. JANE: Don't worry, she won't bite. JANE: I've seen to that already.

The fact that this chapter had a content warning for child abuse makes this read a lot more “Yikes” than it might’ve otherwise.

DIRK: Jake. DIRK: You put the food in a fucking dog bowl. JAKE: (It was all there was, ok???)

I feel like this is actually worse than if Jane put the food in a dog bowl to torment Yiffy.

I told you we’d fall in love with her. I told you dog.

....I don’t know if the MSPA art style lends itself to slightly raised camera angles like this, it looks like Yiffy’s face is 50% forehead.

*Lore hat on*

Okay, first off, dick move electrocuting a child. That out of the way. Yiffy is communicating in wolf howls (she must be a big fan of Toast, from my webcomic Saffron and Sage!), but she’s also literally being electrocuted so lets cut her some slack. What’s more interesting is that her Awoos are in red.

Vrissy shares a font color with Vriska, who she’s trying to emulate. They even use the same CSS class in the site code. Tavros shares his with Gamzee, his abusive uncle (and doesn’t have the same CSS class). Harry Anderson has a unique font color that’s pretty close to his dad’s, but isn’t quite the same (possible to make Harry/John chats more readable, whereas Vriska and Vrissy being hard to distinguish is the joke?). Yiffy, however, does not speak in either Jade’s green or Rose’s purple, she speaks in red. It’s a unique shade of red, I checked, and while it could potentially be in reference to Dave, let’s get real

Obviously, she’s the new Handmaid. This was obvious enough that I was making that comparison even before we learned her red text and rebellious personality. So I’m starting to see what they’re going for here (and, god help me, I’m starting to come around to Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde Harley as a concept). She’s not a one-dimensional joke of a character, she’s just a normal girl having a fucking rough time of it right now and also always. Speaking of time, red is connected to the Time aspect, which isn’t confirmation of anything but a little note to put in the back of your pocket.

Also to put in your back pocket, Jane’s the new Condesce and Yiffy’s the new Handmaid. The Condesce killed the Handmaid.

JANE: You've been a thorn in my side ever since I agreed to enroll you at the academy, little madam. JANE: Back then, I was doing a favor for two old friends who made a disgusting mistake. JANE: I'm no longer going to play nice with you just because of your parents, however. JANE: That truce is over.

That’s some efficient expositing!

Man, I really am coming around to this Yiffy thing, holy shit. I actually think her reveal last chapter was actively designed to get fans to hate the concept as much as possible, and not just from a Controversy Creates Ca$h kind of way (though that didn’t hurt).The entire fandom has been calling Yiffy a disgusting mistake for three weeks, and now here’s Jane doing it, and we’re being asked to consider this from Yiffy’s perspective: Given a stupid name as a joke, shunted off to boarding school by parents who were ashamed of her existence, repeatedly told she’s a disgusting mistake and tortured, even the fans all hate her on sight, and she literally hasn’t said a word yet! That’s....legitimately pretty cool writing, right there. A deft and entirely intentional juking of the fandom’s emotional state to get us to hate a character conceptually so that now when the comic’s trying to get us to sympathize with her it’s an easier sell because we feel a bit guilty. I dig it. Shit like this is why I still read Homestuck, it can be very clever at times, even now.

(Pierced ears, in case the punky aesthetic wasn’t obvious). Also, the page with a gif of everything going dark as Yiffy passes out has a black background, which is a nice touch.

TG: but seriously, do you? AG: Not really. TG: not even about... you know? TG: her? AG: No. TG: ... are you sure? AG: A8solutely. AG: What are you, my moirail? AG: Just leave it, Harry. TG: ok.

Then we cut to a chatlog (with the all-black background, which is just really nice here at selling the mood), and even Vrissy doesn’t want to talk about Yiffany.

AG: It was Cute, 8lright???????? AG: Or, at the very least, a 8*cketload less vomit worthy than everything else that Went Down with our parents.

She’s “vomit-worthy”

I think the update that introduced the Candy Kids was the most enjoyable, but this was, by miles, the best thing to come out of the Homestuck EU. It completely redeemed everything this comic did with Yiffy so far and made it all work. And this black-background-no-image gimmick, while simple, was shockingly effective at conveying the lonely empty mood they were going for (admittedly it probably helped that I was already listening to spooky music), and it’s something Homestuck had never done. This was....

This chapter was great. This was Act 5 great. Like, it’s literally just beating up a child for a whole chapter, but in terms of getting the emotional response they wanted, this is Homestuck at its absolute best. It wasn’t just “here’s a cute girl, let’s beat her up a bit for sympathy”, all the stuff in the last chapter, infuriating the fandom like nothing I’ve seen in webcomics in years, Jade’s dog dick, it was all for this. It was all to get us predisposed to fucking hate Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde Harley so that they could flip the switch and make us love her, make the very fact that we hated her so much part of the reason we love her now. No other webcomic would do that, no other webcomic would have the balls to do that. This is why I read Homestuck, this is why I’m still hanging on to this rock has the wave of cheating dog dicks keeps smacking me in the face. This is avant-fucking-garde, man. I’ve done a full 180 on Homestuck 2. I’m sold. I stan. I’m Homestuck trash again.

EDIT

Oh, and Vrissy suddenly passed out mid-sentence right around the same time Yiffy passed out (hmmm!), and apparently she’s narcoleptic like Jade (hmmm!)

#Homestuck #Homestuck 2 #Homestuck 2 Liveblog

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zekroudon · 4 years

Text

Passing the Baton

Coming back from work, Adrien never expected to find something from his past on his desk. Raising and caring for your children is never easy, but sometimes, he wishes he could do more.

Discussion between a loving father and his son. You can read it on Ao3 here!

Stopping in front of the door to my home, I fiddle with the keys before unlocking the door and entering. As I close the door behind me, light rain starts to pour, as if the sky was crying. A heavy silence greets me. Growing up in a cold mansion, I’m used to cold emotionless silence, but in a house that was once filled with laughs, screams, and joy, it’s overwhelmingly out of place. I can’t say the lack of warmth pleases me, which has grown usual since everything that happened…

I spot some camembert wrappings on the counter, probably left there by Plagg without Hugo noticing. I chuckle as I pick them up and throw them in the trash, remembering my teenage years living with the cheese-eating kwami. So much has changed since then. I notice the absence of Emma’s shoes and Louis’ sports bag, meaning they must still be out, probably with their friends, or Ethan in Emma’s case.

As I walk past my wife’s office, the absence of humming and buzzing from the different sewing machines hits me like Stoneheart's fist. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Everything will be alright, everyone is safe. I turn around and enter my room.

I drop my shoulder bag next to my chair. I sigh noticing the piles of papers I have yet to mark. I’ll have to work on some of them tonight if I want to give them back by the end of the week. The joys of being a teacher... I open the curtains to let the remaining light in my office. The grey clouds taunt me as if they know something I don’t. Something sparkles on my desk and catches my eye.

A black ring with a cat paw symbol on top.

What is it doing on my desk? Is it really the miraculous, or just another one of Plagg’s pranks? It should be with Hugo now, he’s been Chat Noir for nearly three weeks now…

I slide it on my finger and it turns a silver-grey. My stomach sinks as the flash of green light fades, leaving the black kwami before me. All the blood is drained from my face, turning my skin as white as a sheet of paper. Not that I didn’t miss Plagg, and I’m glad he didn’t fall in the hands of an ill-intended person once again, but why is he not with my son?

“Plagg? Why… Where’s Hugo? Is he alright?” I turn around and dive to my drawer, taking the Miracle box and opening it. Other than the ladybug, cat, dragon, snake, and butterfly, they all seem to be in their spot.

“Meh, people were talking behind his back at school, some stupid journalists harassed him once again, he said he wasn’t worthy of my miraculous and that’s the last thing I remember before he slid the ring off.” He shrugs it off, but being my kwami for so long, I can see in his eyes that he’s worried.

Oh ... Those stupid journalists are trying to throw me and my wife into the mud by targeting our son. I’m disgusted at how they used the recent events knowing we wouldn’t notice their idiotic articles and pandering. It’s not the first time it happened, but Hugo has always been the most sensitive of the three. Louis thrives in their attention and Emma ignores them, but their baby brother would rather be left alone.

Someone knocks on my door frame, bringing me back to Earth. I turn and see bright blue eyes filled with worry looking at me accompanied by a sad smile. Her black hair cascades past her shoulders, her mother’s spitting image. She steps forward to hug me, but she stops in her tracks when she notices the black Kwami hovering next to my shoulder.

“He heard, didn’t he?” She asks Plagg, continuing once he nodded. “Louis called them out, and I felt that Hugo was hurt, Nooroo did too, but I didn’t think he’d relinquish you…”

“He did, and now we should go and find him.” Says the Kwami.

“He’s not in his bedroom, do you have any idea of where he could be?” She asks me.

I’m startled by her certainty of it before noticing the small brooch in her hair. Right, I gave her the Butterfly Miraculous since she can’t be Ladybug any more. How could I forget that? She lays her hand on my forearm, trying to reassure me.

“He’s going to be okay, he’s strong.”

“I’ll go look outside, stay here and wait to see if he comes back. Try and call him.” I look at Plagg before adding “Like old times?”

“Can I have some cam....”

“Plagg, claws out!”

A small smile stretches my lips at his antics while the magic costume appears on my body. The rush of energy is even stronger than what I remembered. The black fabric covers my body in the same design I wore a few years ago. The two ears stand on top of my head and the belt tail swooshes worriedly behind my back.

I give my daughter the salute that was once so characteristic to me before opening my window and jumping outside under the cold autumn rain.

I shiver as the freezing water flattens my hair and runs on my body. The cat part in me hates rain, even though it was raining the day I met Marinette and it grew to have a romantic significance for us. Using my baton, I raise myself over the buildings to scan the city from above. If Hugo is out in this weather, he’ll get sick in no time...

The grey sky is barely distinguishable from the rooftops, the color has faded from everything. Cars still roam the streets, but most passersby have gotten cover. On the dimmed bright side, I’m more likely to go unnoticed as Hugo’s suit is quite different than mine and word of Chat Noir’s reappearance would spread like wildfire in Paris.

I stop on top of the bakery, hoping to channel a bit of my wife’s good luck and extend my weapon once again. I make sure to be as silent as possible, there is no need to bother her with this right now.

I’m a good father, I should be able to handle this myself, right?

Anyway, it isn’t like I could ask her for help right now, I don’t know if she has remembered me yet…

In the nearby park, the statue that was erected for us so many years ago, in our beginnings as Paris’ heroes, still stands strong against the wind and rain. Things were simpler then, yet I wouldn’t change anything that happened. I have three amazing kids, a loving wife, and a life I enjoy plenty.

Something moves behind the statue, only noticeable with my enhanced sight. It looks like a mop of dark hair. A flicker lights up in my chest, it must be him…

I land far enough to not startle the person, but they keep their head down, either ignoring me or hasn’t heard me. As I walk closer, I recognize Hugo with his usual Chat Noir t-shirt and hoodie. He took the saying hiding in plain sight very seriously, though he has always been one of my biggest fans. Hunched on himself like this, he looks as small as he was years ago when I cradled him in my arms as opposed to the strong young man he grew into, just like his grandfather, well, not him , obviously.

I sit next to him, ignoring the squelching sound of the soaked ground under me. I snake my arm around his shoulders and he leans into me.

We stay silent for a bit, the droning sound of the rain deafens, my ears focussing on my son’s breathing and sporadic sobs. I would like so much to give him a shell, which is ironic since he used the turtle previously, to protect him behind him and fight people who hurt him, but I can’t.

I can’t overprotect him, I wouldn’t do him any favors. Some would say that he has to learn to grow a thicker skin, but I hate that. He was born into celebrity because of me, because of his mother. The last in a line of models and heroes. Grandson of amazing bakers, but also the biggest terrorist Paris has ever known. His brother and sister thrived in the spotlight, but he never liked it. Huge shadows cast by us and enormous shoes to fill for him.

“I love you.”

It doesn’t feel enough. It doesn’t feel strong enough for everything to convey to him, but I don’t really know what else to say. I want him to talk to me, to help me understand so I can help him feel better in return, but I can’t force him to. It has to be his choice, his decision. I tighten my hold on him and I lean my head on his.

“Do you want to talk about what happened? I’m here for you if you want.”

Here, I stretched him a pole, or a baton in our case, I just have to hope he takes it. He seems to calm down a bit, his breathing returning to something more regular.

“I don’t know… I’m just tired, mad, I don’t know… It feels like everyone is against me, that the world is mocking me and punishing me for not doing my job and failed at protecting mom against Lady Papillon’s akuma… Because of me she had to give up guardianship and all her memories…”

“It’s not your fault, just like it wasn’t mine or Emma’s… It’s Lila’s. She kept akumatizing people, she manipulated Ethan to akumatize him under her control, she tricked all of us. You didn’t do any of that. If anything, you saved the day. You protected the Ladybug and got back the Cat miraculous with Louis! You even dual-wielded before your siblings. To be honest, I was a mess having to fight your mother and seeing her lose all her memories as she said the incantation…”

“But why make me Chat Noir? Wasn’t I better as Jade Turtle? Why give the grandson of Hawkmoth the Cat Miraculous? The press would go wild and…”

“Then why give his son the miraculous? Was it a bad decision? What about your sister, did we make a bad decision making her Ladybug?”

“Of course not! You were the best Chat Noir ever and Mom couldn’t have defeated Hawkmoth and Mayura without you! And even though Emma’s time was cut short, she was an amazing Ladybug too, just like Mom.” He looks at me with horrified eyes, offended that I would say such a thing.

“So then, why would making you Chat Noir be a bad idea? You are kind, compassionate, caring, incredibly smart. You use Cata… um, your power in ways I would never have thought of. I wouldn’t have trusted anyone else with taking care of Plagg, you know how he is…”

“Yeah, different in so many ways .”

I chuckle at his pun, a true Chat Noir.

“See, you even make great puns, that’s a sign of a great black cat!”

Even though I don’t see him, I feel him rolling his eyes just like his mother.

“So tell me, why do you think you are not suited to wield this ameowzing miraculous?”

“People… the journalists, they keep saying that I’m becoming like him , that I’m a social recluse, that never goes to events and that I’m rude to people. And… I’m not...thin enough…”

The last part is barely audible, less than a whisper. If it weren’t for my feline auditory senses, I wouldn’t have heard.

But thin enough? I know he’s more on the bulky side, having inherited Tom’s stature and my height, but he’s not fat or overweight…

“And I don’t love Coccinelle like you love Mom or Emma likes Ethan, even when you were in your ‘just a friend’ phase… I like her, sure, but only as a friend… Since I’m Chat Noir, shouldn’t I be in love with her? Didn’t you and Mom say that Ladybug and Chat Noir are always made for each other?”

“Okay, slow down, one thing at a time. You need your space, there’s nothing wrong about it. You are more introverted and it’s okay. I don’t even remember any event you have missed, so they’re probably making stuff up for clicks and views.”

I turn to him and place my palm on his soaked shirt, near his heart.

“But, this right here, as long as it beats, you won’t become like him. You have so much love to give others, anyone on it’s receiving end knows how much you care and love, how lucky they are. Maybe you don’t show it in big gestures as I do, but in smaller ones and by being there for others. Gabriel never did. He was cold, distant, heartless, and cruel. To him, everyone was a pawn, a chess piece meant to be sacrificed if it meant he reached his goal. You two are absolutely nothing alike.”

He looks at me with big green eyes, still red from crying, but for a second, it’s like I was looking at my four-year-old when he found a shiny stone for Plagg, his “imaginary” friend. Full of hope and kindness.

“And I don’t know who said that you are ugly, but it’s also a lie.”

“Well, only me… and maybe some of my classmates, I don’t know… They mocked me for not being a model like Emma and Louis, that it was probably because I’m too ugly to be a model… I guess it must have gotten inside my head...”

“Mom offered it to you a few times and you always refused, we wouldn’t have forced you to do something you don’t like. And beauty doesn’t come from outside, but from what’s inside, and you’re shiningly beautiful. Many of the models I’ve worked with back then and now may look “good”, with six-packs and all, but they are mean and cold. Anyway, most of what companies sell us is fake, models are starving to be so cut, you don’t want to do that. Mari’s company is one of the only ones where models don’t need to starve themselves and she has lines for everyone.”

I pause to breathe and think about what to answer to his last question. I always knew me and Marinette were meant to be, even if we had our moments of doubts, and I never questioned it. Emma and Ethan seem to love each other, even though I thought she would hate him for what happened. It shows how compassionate she is and understanding.

“I don’t think that you are a bad Chat Noir for not loving Coccinelle. Feelings do change over time, and maybe later you’ll have those feelings for her, or never. Don’t base your worth as Chat Noir around whether or not you love her. Maybe you’ll be the first Chat Noir in history to not love his Ladybug, but it doesn’t mean that it is a bad thing.”

“But, how do you know that you love someone? LIke that kind of love?”

“I guess that they always brighten any room they’re in, you feel good when you are with them and make you want to spend more time with them. Your eyes are always following them and your body is drawn to them in surprising ways. You want to kiss them, hug, cuddle, which you can totally do with friends too! Well, maybe not the kissing part… Even though it's different for everyone, when it will happen, you’ll know. You will feel it in your heart. When I met your mom, I was amazed by how strong, and amazing she was. Mere seconds prior, she was unsure of herself and scared, but she faced Hawkmoth and talked back, assuring the city that we would protect them. I also fell in love with the girl whom I apologized to and gave her an umbrella under the rain. She made me laugh and smile in a way I hadn’t for a long time, it was like thunder had struck. For me, that was love, for you, it might be different, but it’s okay. Love is scary, it’s like jumping into the unknown and you can’t prepare enough for it, other than trusting and believing in yourself... Does anyone make you feel that way?”

Maybe he’ll have the same bad luck, or good luck, to fall for his civilian partner as I did, but it would be unlikely since they never met before.

“I think so…”

To my chagrin, he’s closing himself again. But it’s okay, I’ll love him no matter what. I tighten my hold on his shoulders in a way I hope is reassuring.

It seems to work a little, so I try to nudge him a bit farther.

“Even if you don’t, it’s okay. Aromantic people still find happiness in life, romantic love is not necessary to be happy and have a fulfilling life, it’s not the only kind of love. I’m not well versed in the matter, but I did some research after I heard some students talking about it.”

I must have said the right thing because he brightens a little and continues.

“ I do feel what you described, sometimes, but it wasn’t… with a girl.”

I feel him flinch against me and distance himself as if I was about to shout at him, disown him or something. It hurts a bit, but I’m more thankful and honored that he told me. I can’t imagine how scary it is to tell someone something like that.

I snake my other arm around him and pull him for a tight hug. His cold wet clothes stick to his skin and my costume, but I feel him warming up against me.

“Let’s go somewhere safe from the rain, you’re freezing.” I tell him softly.

He nods and I take him on my back like we used to do when he was little and clad in his tiny kitty costume. Some people brought their restless kids on car rides, we took them to the Parisian rooftops as superheroes. It worked like a charm every time. He grew up a lot since then, they all did. They are becoming young adults ready to face the world together.

Thankful for my enhanced strength, I make sure that Hugo is holding on tightly before leaping off with my baton.

--------------------------------------------

While he dried up, I went to a nearby coffee shop to get us something warm. It was one of our favorites when we were young and in collège. We used to go there often as friends, or on dates.

it was still as cozy and welcoming as I remembered, though I had to detransform to not alarm everyone with Chat Noir’s very temporary return. Anyway, my goal wasn’t to stay for long anyway, only to order a cup of coffee and hot cocoa.

I rejoin him on one of Notre-Dame’s towers. He’s wistfully looking at the Seine as if someone or something was calling him.

I spot The Liberty 2, now Luka’s home, it’s windows lit up with warm and inviting lights. Turning to my son, I realize that he’s been looking at the boat all along.

“So, that person that you like, how are they like?”

“I… Um… He’s kind, grounding even. He’s always there to listen when I’m too far gone in my worrying or that I’m panicking. I know I can just go to him and he’ll play something for me... In a weird way, it’s as if spending time with him recharges my battery, you know?”

“I know the feeling, I used to feel the same every time I went to the bakery to eat croissants because I had a particularly rough day or I spent an afternoon playing videogames with Nino.”

“I’m afraid of telling him how I feel, what if it ruins things between us, what if he doesn’t want to talk to me ever again because of it? What if he’s homophobic, what if…”

“Do you really think he could be homophobic? If he’s half as awesome as you make him up to be, he’ll accept you just as you are. You’re amazing too, and if he doesn’t return your feelings, it’s not the end of the world, I know that there’s someone out there for you.”

“Probably not, well, I doubt it. I fell asleep on him once… Don’t look at me like that, it was an accident! I was tired, and he was playing his guitar, and when I woke up, my head was on his chest and he was sleeping too. I was so embarrassed…”

“Well, you didn’t spend four years calling the love of your life a very good friend, I think Nino still has nightmares about that. You can’t even imagine the number of plans Marinette made with Alya and the girls to try and get me to notice her or her to confess her feelings to me. You falling asleep on your crush is cute, even though you think it’s embarrassing.”

A comfortable silence installs himself between us, only broken by the sound of rain hitting the stone. He leans his head on my shoulder and I hug him once again. I feel my chest rumble in a small content purr, glad to have my son safe with me.

“You can still purr?” He asks, surprised.

“Apparently, it is not something you lose easily after being Chat Noir for more than twenty years…”

“It’s okay, I always liked when you purred, it meant that you were happy.”

“And you deserve to purr too. This is for you, you more than deserve it.”

I take the silver baton from my back and give it to him.

“ Je te passe le flambeau, le baton. It’s your turn to be Chat Noir, your version of the black cat. If ever you are doubting yourself, or unsure, know that I will always believe in you and love you. You might be the first Chat Noir to like a guy, but it only means one thing, that you were born to make history.”

“I’ll do it. I’ll protect Paris and forge my own path. I’m sorry for scaring you, I should have talked to you before doing something stupid like this…“

He pulls me in a hug, a soft embrace. Stepping back, happiness and warmth return to his features, as if the dark clouds that were filling his mind had been pierced by the rays of sunlight. Smiling, I call off my transformation and slide off the ring from my finger. I expected to feel more nostalgic about it, but I know I did my time with Plagg, I already moved on. Anyway, I know that he’ll never be far, and I’ll cherish my memories of my time as a hero as long as I can.

I extend my hand to him, the miraculous resting in my palm.

“Hugo Dupain-Cheng, this is the miraculous of the Black Cat, which grants the power of destruction. You will use it for the greater good.”

“Of course, I’ll try and not be as catastrophic as the last one. Clawsome as I am, there’s no one better for the job.”

He definitely is my son, there are no doubts about that.

He smirks as he takes the ring and slides it on his finger. As Plagg reappears, Hugo grabs him and hugs him to his chest. I hear the kwami groan a bit before accepting his fate. A small purr reaches my ear, but I’ll say that it’s the stones and wood of the cathedral to keep his “strong and intimidating” character.

“I’m so sorry Plagg, I won’t give you up again, I promise.”

“Alright, alright, but I’m starving! I want Camembert, and some Pont L’Évêque too.”

My face scrunches in revulsion, hit by memories of how bad that particular cheese smelt. Hugo seems to be aware of it, but he’s too happy to be back with his kwami to care much. It’s obvious he’s not the one doing the laundry and finding melted cheese in pockets and socks…

He transforms, doing his own little choreography as the green energy covers his body. Black and green ears stand on top of his head, black belt tail swishing behind him. His two peridot feline eyes filled with joy staring at me.

I climb on his back and it’s my turn to be carried around Paris.

“See, I told you that you’re a great black cat, but now let’s head home, I'm getting hungry too.”

#adrien agreste #chat noir #hugo dupain-cheng #dadrien #ml fic #hurt/comfort #Black Cat!Hugo #father-son relationship #miraculous ladybug #love square #future fic #adrienette #ladynoir

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kidmachinate · 4 years

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Sometimes, You Need Help Standing Back Up

Before I get into what this post now is, let me explain what it was. Similar to posts I’ve made, this was gonna be either a tragedy or thought masked in imagery/gaming/song references. I don’t think this is a shock to anyone, especially to a anyone that knows me. It was gonna be a quote that led into being a “gray rock” with some but not all context provided. This would be looped back around into using a pebble in Bloodborne to kill an enemy. Going through the long grueling process of doing that so I can be like, hey, I did it. Here’s the problem. It stems from an issue I have, an issue that some kind of outside validation is needed. Like hey, I did the thing. Crazy, given I try so hard to be a pillar of hope and inspiring to others. People don’t see what I deal with though inside and I’m tired. Very, very tired. So, this post will go in a different direction. To point at the only person there is to blame for all this. Me.

I have an addiction to toxic relationships. It’s true. Or maybe to fixing others. Is there a term for this? Call me crazy if you will but it is the truth. It’s not drinking, it’s not drugs, it’s not whatever else we commonly speak of…but I promise it is as real as it gets. I read this before making this post. Somehow...it doesn't make me feel better. This is without therapy. These are my thoughts of where it all stems from and why I cling to it whether it be in regard to friends, family, or partners. I will be bringing this up next session and seeing what I can do about it because I need help. Badly. More than Red Warrior needing food. Because my thought is always, I can see that in me. I too am not perfect. I can fix it! No…I fucking can’t.

When I entered a certain period in high school, I was slipping in both the relationship I had at the time by taking on a damaged partner and really dropping the ball on my grades. Said partner was always picked on. I get that since I too was mostly an outcast at school and not one of the "cool kids" as I say to this day. Before someone gets the wrong idea, let’s drop a hint. I got with this unnamed person which apparently held me back from many others I could have pursued, or so I was told. Oops. It wasn’t a crucial relationship in my life by any means, but I wish you peace…wherever you are. I knew I COULD do good and get the grades. My mind just needed to be right. I asked my parents for help. I specifically said the following and I verified this to make sure I didn't remember this incorrectly:

“I think I need help”

They only saw the report card and were like, hey, let’s get him a math tutor. That isn’t the help I was seeking. I asked a few more times, providing more and more context each time. It wasn’t long before I realized I wasn’t being taken seriously. I folded. These are patterns that continued on and on. Over and over again. I would see a math tutor for months. Bless her heart, I wouldn’t have passed math without her. I was slipping in other subjects as well. I worked hard senior year just to graduate. To prove I could. That I was “good enough” to my parents. Looking back, did school really matter? That’s a whole other conversation. Always having to look good for someone. That is technically what school teaches you. To be a good employee. Not an entrepreneur. To take orders.

Is this why it all occurs as it does and I carried it over to every aspect of my life? I don't know. It is my theory. I'll be talking about this with my therapist. In the later years, before Dad's passing, he started to understand why I was defiant at times. Did things differently. Still got jobs done even if not the way he said for the family business. Got zero complaints running the business in his absence. Told you I could do it. He understood. Miss the hell out of you Dad.

The thing is all of this led to me never at any point in time opening up enough to lay out boundaries. This was my mistake time and time again. Any attempt at showing emotion I would shut myself down. My Dad never caved and I'm in a spanish family. Gotta be a MAN! Can't go showing emotion and shit. What an old concept. I'm glad we're starting to change the narrative on that in the world. At times when I would try to make my feelings and/or attempts at boundaries in relationships that lasted long enough for this to matter, it would be shut down in favor or what was going on in their lives. That's fair. Let's ride this wave together. But then my scenario got overlooked. Constantly. Before the no contact suggestion comes, while I get it, it still doesn't solve the me mystery. I seek answers.

This all was my fault. If someone gets mad upon setting a boundary or opening up about feelings, that is probably a sign they were benefitting from you not having one. But how is one to know if it was never stated? I tried more than once but eventually caved, like I did back in high school. I'd brush it off and be like this is fine because I believed in the potential (another mistake) of insert any relationship here. Some didn't last long enough for this to matter but the ones that did took their toll. I could have done better. I'm trying to in the last few months and results have been quite telling. Regardless of what I discover with others, I still need to fix me.

What else is there to say? Not much. So how do we cope? We laugh. We acknowledge. We even make fun our ourselves. I used this before. I found my kirby.

I might lose some people after making this public. The thing of all this is the details don't matter and there is so much that will likely forever go unsaid. I've got a support group for that. The signs were there in each scenario and I stayed. The hard part is still wanting to care and also not letting the scenarios convert to hate and being jaded...and it is really...fucking...hard. I felt myself shifting towards hate so I needed to pull back. I'm scheduling my next appointment soon because I can focus on me without outside scenarios. If I haven't lost you, thanks. This is the most vulnerable post I've made on here. Possibly ever. We shall see. Intent matters, sure. But sometimes, you too, can be the toxic one.

If the healer dies, the raid goes to shit. Time to heal myself and get my shit together. Again.

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drabbleitout · 4 years

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Chapter Three Preview

Movement in the open door made him stop. That was an odd habit of Myghal’s, leaving the door to his quarters open, less it was time to sleep. Ira never asked why, and it was the last thing on his mind when he saw Myghal. Caught up in whatever he was doing he moved across his room for the wash closet –sides of his head covered in white foam.

Curious, Ira wandered in. There wasn't much he knew about Humans. Myghal was the first he had actually met. There were those on Akafar, couriers and guards, but Ira always saw them from afar. Ira wanted to say they were strange but something about them was too familiar. Instead he considered Humans odd.

Just as it was odd to watch Myghal add more of the lather to the sides of his head. His long, dark hair had been coiled into a bun atop his head, out of the way. Over the sink, Myghal used a blade to scrape away lather and hair.

"What are you doing?" Ira's voice was out before he meant it. Myghal jumped, startled as if he hadn't known Ira was there. With a turn he gaped, eyes wide and still holding the blade high.

"Ira," he sucked in jumping air. "We need to work on a system—"

"What are you doing?" he demanded again, taking a step into the bright light. "Are you cutting your hair?"

"I'm trimming it."

Ira balked, mouth moving in hopes of conjuring up something to say. He had figured that's what he was doing but– "Why?"

"So it's not in the way." Myghal's answer was almost a question. He stared at Ira, brow pinched with concern. "Are you alright?"

"But the rest of your hair is long. Why is this part in the way?"

"Well it isn't yet, but if it keeps growing it will be. Anything I can't pull back could cause serious problems in a fight." He half turned back to the mirror, continuing to cut. "So I have to keep this short so that doesn't happen."

Ira watched, partly horrified.

"Don't worry about it. I've done this plenty of times. It doesn't hurt."

"So you mean it all grows that way. Like what you have tied up?"

"Yeah," Myghal laughed, glancing over. "Most all Humans have hair all over their heads. Kinda like your feathers." Watching him scrape the lather away gave Ira chills. He had to physically take a step back. "I had it all long at one point."

"Why is it this way now, then?"

Myghal paused, his eyes darting around something unseen in the mirror. Another laugh, this one more strained. "Oh, more out of a request. You know. Owners want you to stand out in the gladiator pits. They say if the better the audience can recognize you from afar, the easier it is to get famous. Or something like that." He shrugged it away, putting the blade down. Turning to Ira, he smiled. "But don't worry, it grows back."

That's when Ira noticed the bracelet. He never saw it in contrast with the armor, but with Myghal in the sleeveless shirt, it stood out. Thin, metal, it had a jade colored square.

"Funny enough, it grows faster in space. I've noticed that, but never understood why. My theory is, my scalp is shrinking. Making it seem like its growing faster."

A light. Not jewelry. A band. A tracking device.

Myghal jumped again when Ira grabbed his arm, holding it up to see. There was enough space to slip fingers between it and Myghal's skin, but not to slip over his hand. "Everything alright?"

"This bangle," Ira stared at the light, waiting for it to flash again, "do you like it?"

"I'd like it if it was a bangle." Myghal's chuckle was more at ease.

"What is it?"

"A shackle. Kelts are tagged with these so owners can track if we're still alive, or if we try to go rogue." Ira frowned at another flicker of light. He didn't expect any less. From the pale band of skin beneath it, he guessed this was something Myghal had for a long time.

Ira let go, brushing his cloak out of his way to open the pouch on his hip.

"You know, Kelts can't be trusted. Especially soldier types like me. Without these we could easily desert a battlefield. Then, there's our bidder, out of their money." Ira found the thin file, used for sawing through chains or bars that seconded as a lock jig. "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking it off." Ira scoffed at the fact he needed to explain himself. "No Kelt of mine will be caught wearing something gaudy like this."

"Kelt of yours?" Myghal squared his shoulders with the smirk, "Don't tell me you care."

"I won't stand working with someone wearing any kind of tracking device. That's unacceptable." He tugged Myghal around, placing the hand on the counter top for support. Skimming fingers across it, he searched for a seam.

"It won't come off, Ira." Myghal warned, pulling at his hand.

"Leave it." Ira commanded, holding it down. Spinning it around he found what he was looking for. Myghal yanked away. Ira had no choice but to assert himself, arm knocking across Myghal's chest as he kicked a knee out from under him. Like a precise cut tree, Myghal fell through the door. Ira wasted no time taking a knee on the arm in question, holding him in place.

"I said leave it." He added firmness to his voice, trapping the hand to the floor to search out the seam again.

"Ira, you can't. It will not come off." Myghal squirmed but didn't dare touch him.

"Every lock will unlock."

"With the key, yeah." Myghal's voice pitched, feeling the file slide between his wrist and the shackle. "All joking aside –Ira, don't take it off!" A hand pressed on Ira's side, the desperation making him pause. "Don't. Please don't, Ira."

"It's a tracking device, Myghal." He sighed irritably. "There's no telling who has access to it. Do you think it's such a good idea to have this and steal from the Cites? What if they use it to find where we are?"

"I know you're paranoid, and maybe that could happen, but– Ira wait! Wait! If you try to take it off, it will kill me." Ira stopped, withdrawing the file. "Trust me. Don't you think I've tried? It'll shock the hell out of me before I could even get it apart."

"Oh, is that all? Tsk, be still."

"Ira!"

"If you don't hold still you will make me hurt you."

"It's already going to hurt me!"

Ira twisted about, squeezing Myghal's cheeks in one hand. "Do you trust me?" The whisper made Myghal fall quiet, either in hopes of hearing or shock. Ira repeated himself just as lowly. "Do you trust me, Myghal? If we're to be partners, you need to trust me. I will not get you hurt. I can get this off without you ever knowing if you show me you trust me and don't move."

He left go of Myghal's face, waiting for his answer.

Myghal lie still, only movement the draw of a deep breath.

"This isn't the first time I've seen one of these," Ira nodded, turning back to the shackle. "There's a way to loosen them without tripping the defensive shock. But it needs to be done carefully. Besides, I'm sure the illusion of freedom would be nice. Right?"

"Yeah," Myghal peeped, covering his eyes with his free hand.

"That old hag said we had to do this together, remember? Don't forget that."

"Smart old woman."

"Too smart for her own good." Ira mumbled, sliding the file back in place. "I'm going to wedge this into the seam to complete the current. That way, it doesn't realize it's being separated, and the current stays in the band and doesn't go looking for flesh."

Myghal nodded along, relaxing a bit.

"It's a matter of tricking it. That's all. Now, I'm going to start to pry, widen the opening. I need you to stay completely still so the heartbeat monitor keeps track until the last moment."

"It has a heartbeat monitor?"

"Usually. It tells the owners when their possessions expire. That's how it knows when you're trying to take it off, when it can't sense your heartbeat anymore."

"How do you know all this?"

"Like you said, all slaves are tagged, aren't they?" He whispered in concentration, sure not to let the file slip. Taking care not to move too quickly, Ira slid two fingers onto the underside of the band. As it pried apart, he slipped it over Myghal's hand. Letting the file ease it back shut, Ira stood, slinging it into the sink.

It clattered in the bowl, crackling with electricity.

"There, you see? Simple." Ira slipped the file back onto his belt, fixing his cloak.

Myghal absently held the wrist, tracing fingers over the pale band. Silently he did so. Over and over. Entranced. Ira stepped over him, heading for the hall.

"Ira, thank you." He blurted, scrambling to sit up. Ira stopped in the door, pivoting to look back at him. "Seriously, thank you."

"Don't thank me yet. I expect a favor in return."

#writing #amwriting #writeblr #Chapter preview #Scifi wip #my writing #no editing #Ira #myghal #1700 words

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shysupernaturalfangirl · 5 years

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Different - Dean Winchester x Reader - Part Seven

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing(s): Dean Winchester x Reader

World: Reverse French Mistake AU

Warning(s): Cussing, insecurities, sexual harassment

Summary: It’s every fan-girl’s dream to either, end up in the world of their fantasies, their fandom, or to wind up with on of the actors or characters. There is a couple thousand fanfictions with such circumstances. She never thought in her wildest dreams, that she’d actually end up in a fanfiction situation.

Taglist: @blackeyedangel9805 @heythereamigodude @gaveherhearttotheliontattoo @seppys-return-to-madness @jaylarkson

A/N: Please let me know throw my INBOX if you want to be tagged. Too many are commenting on the stories, it's making it hard to keep up!

~3rd POV~

Emily hardly comes out of her room anymore, when she does, it's only to cook, eat, use the bathroom, or grab more books from the library. Even then, it's only when she knows that Dean isn't in the library, that she enters it. Today, she's sitting at one of the tables, pouring over a book with immense interest, not paying attention to the bunker around her. She hears footsteps, automatically assuming that it's Sam, she straightens her back a bit with excitement bouncing in her legs. "I found something, Sam!" She crows. "It might be the way I got here, and maybe even the way I get home!" Her head snaps up as her smile stretches, only to fall as Dean is frozen a few feet from her, staring at her with hurt and anxiety in his eyes. "Oh. I-I thought that you were Sam." She stammers out, snatching up the book as she stands, tucking her head into her chest as she hugs the book tight, walking out of the library in a hurry.

"Emily," She freezes as he calls her name right as she reaches the doorway, pressing her eyes closed with a sigh. "I'm sorry." She sighs as she turns to face him, a false smile slapped on her lips.

"It's alright, Dean. I'm used to being unwanted and unloved. Don't let someone so useless be a cause of distress." She states, before continuing on her way back to the room, where she slams the door. It echoed as a thud in his chest, causing him to press his hands against his eyes, rubbing them as they sting bitterly. He needs a drink. Grabbing the keys to the Impala, he lets Sam know that he's going out, before he leaves the Bunker to drive to the nearest bar. Meanwhile, Emily is sitting on her bed with tears falling down her face, landing on the old book in her lap, staining the pages as she struggles to keep her sobs quiet and her breath from from becoming frantic. The mere thought of being unwanted again, hurts. Was it too much to ask for someone to care about her? Was it too fucking much for her to be loved? She wants to be happy, but it seems like every time she starts to get a new hold on happiness, something ruins it. Smothers it. Breaks her. How long can she hold out for that happiness? Was she so unloveable?

"Emily?" Sam's voice calls from the other side of the door, causing her to suck in a quiet breath, sniffling as she wipes her face, and forces herself to maintain the illusion that she's fine. That she has been crying the last few days. "Are you alright?" Sam asks, causing her to swallow thickly as tears bud in her eyes once more. How many times has she ever honestly been asked that? "Look, I-I need to talk to you. It's important."

"Come in, Sam." She calls as she wipes her cheeks and eyes once again, snapping the book shut to hide the tear stained pages. The door slowly opens as she looks up with a forced smile, at Sam. "What's up?"

"Emily..." Sam sighs as he scratches his chin through the scruff on his face, before he walks over to squat before her. "I'm just going to come out and say this. I've always known a way to get you home." His words causing her to gasp, eyes wide as she blinks I surprise.

"I-I... You what?" She swallows thickly. "What do you mean? How could you possibly know that?!"

"I met a Wicca, during my time away from Dean when he was a demon. Her name is Jade, and we uh... Kept in contact. After awhile, I noticed that Dean was... uh, not okay. He was depressed, moody, kept to himself. He started showing dangerous signs, and I needed to do something about it."

"Sam," Emily shakes her head in confusion. "what does that have to do with me? With my getting home?"

"Jade... she'd met Dean before and they got along pretty well, but she saw the differences. So, we worked together to come up with a plan to get Dean out of his slump. Nothing worked. But, I thought, if Dean had someone to pull him out of his slump. Someone he could protect and cherish... then maybe he'd feel better." Emily's eyes widen.

"You brought me here? Sam, how could you do that?! All big magic, even good, has it's prices!" She cries as Sam takes her hands in his.

"Listen, listen, Jade called in a few favors to make sure nothing bad would happen!"

"Why?!" Emily starts to cry softly. "Why me, then? You could've brought anyone in the world here. Why me?! I'm useless, and dumb, an-and Dean hates me! Why me?!" She sobs as Sam sighs, pulling her into his arms, holding her close.

"Because the spell, required not only someone of great strength on the other side, to attach to. But, they had to be the soulmate of the person the spell was cast for." Emily jerks back, out of Sam's arms, like she's been stung, her eyes wide as he pets her hair.

"A-Are you seriously saying that I am..."

"Dean's soulmate." Sam explains carefully. Causing her to choke on a sob, carding her fingers through her hair as she looks up at Sam once more, before ducking her head in thought as she wipes her eyes.

"That's... Impossible. There's no such thing as Soulmates!" She shouts, standing up as the book, in her lap, flutters to the floor, and she starts to pace, taking deep and calming breathes. "Even if there is, wouldn't there be some kind of sign? A matching tattoo? Words on our skin? An-"

"Unexplainable instant attraction to each other?" Sam points out, causing her to jerk to a stop, gaping at him as her eyes widen.

"I-I... I need a drink." She states, causing Sam to chuckle.

"We can go to the bar, if that'll help. Just you and me." He says, causing herbto swallow thickly, then nod.

"Yeah." Her hands tug at her large plaid shirt, the one that Dean have her, and she never returned. "Yeah, just let me shower and change." Sam stands up, walking past her to pat her shoulder. He smiles down at her before he walks out, and she takes a deep breath. After her shower, she throws on a pair of jeans cutoff shorts, and a black tank top, shrugging on another plaid buttondown of Dean's, and some black high heel boots, leaving her red curls wild and free. Leaving the bunker with Sam, she's quiet in the front seat of the car, unaware of the plot the Sam unravelled at her words, he just hopes it goes at planned.

Pulling up to the bar, Sam parks the car as she climbs out, the two of them entering the establishment as her eyes travel around the dingy room. The place is full of waitresses wearing croptops and short shorts, carrying trays of beer and other beverages, and Bikers and their women, construction workers on their break, it's mild for being about 5 o'clock in the afternoon. "I'm going to go grab us a table, you get our drinks?" Sam asks, causing her to nod.

"Yeah yeah, sure."

"Just a beer for me." He hands her a bundle full of money, walking away as she listens to the music, swaying and swerving through the crowd, before getting to the bar.

"What can I getcha, sweet thing?" The bartender asks, her eyes trailing Emily's body with an appraising look, a smirk on her face.

"A beer and a shot of straight vodka." Emily replies, before pausing as she counts the money in her hand. "And a Sprite." She adds, before handing it to the bartender, who nods and smiles at her.

"Sure thing, sweetie." She moves quick, sending flirty winks and smiles Emily's way, while filling her order as she chats up other patrons of the bar. She hears loud, obnoxious, giggling behind her which causes her to roll her eyes, turning with her drinks in hand as she eyes the blonde who is giggling as she appears in her sight. As one of Bikers moves from her view, the man who the giggling blonde is clinging to, appears, and Emily's stomach drops as her chest starts to ache. Dean is leaning the girl over the pool table, adjusting her hands on the pool stick, but the blonde obviously isn't paying attention to the 'lesson' as she smiles at Dean. Emily's hands shake slightly as she stalks over to Sam, setting the drinks down, only to slam back the vodka, chasing the bitter sting of it with her Sprite.

"Hey, you okay?" Sam asks as she huffs, slumping down in the booth.

"There are tons of bars in town, how did we end up in the same one as him?" She points out, shooting a look over to Dean and the blonde, their position gives her a perfect view of the blonde's hand caressing Dean's thigh, causing Emily to rip her gaze away. "I need something stronger." She stands once more, shrugging off the plaid buttondown that she now realizes was practically a calling card, that she was Dean's, a collar of sorts. Stalking over to the bar, a new bar tender greets her, his hungry eyes trailing her up and down.

"What can I do for you, honey?" He purrs as she smiles at him, feeling a tingling warm zip through her from the attention of the opposite gender that is showing interest in her. Not that she has anything with people with other sexual preferences, more power to them, but she wasn't interested in anyone but guys.

"Can I have a glass of Blue Lagoon?" He nods. "The biggest glass that you can. Please." She reaches for the money in her pocket.

"No need, it's on the house for beauties like you." He winks at her, causing her to blush and give a soft smile back. It feels wrong, accepting the flirting, but at least she's not the one bending another person over a table, even at the excuse of "being helpful". Pulling out a five, she shoves it in the top jar as the bartender hands her the drink. "Maybe I shouldn't have been so fast. That way I could enjoy your company more." He says.

"Well, unfortunately, it's too late, and I have a policy about making others wait." She bites her lip, before she takes a deep drink after stirring it. "But, maybe if you stick around for a while, I'll be back, Travis." She says as soon as she eyes his nametag, and he smirks as she turns to walk away, her heels clicking on the linoleum floor as she cross to the booth, dropping onto her side.

"Were you just flirting? With the bartender?" Sam asks, causing her to nod as she takes another drink. "Unbelievable." He scoffs as he shakes his head, and she slams her glass down with a hard rattle.

"No, what's unbelievable is you and your brother! You knew why I was here!"

"Dean doesn't know."

"Which makes it that much worse, Sam. I've been here for almost three months, and you said nothing! I've spent my nights having panic attack and crying my eyes out, because you didn't bother to even ask, before ripping me out of my world. You just did it!" She cards her fingers through her hair, hands rubbing her eyes. "You drop this bombshell on me, and expect me to change my life! Look at Dean! Look at him!" She gestures towards the blonde grinding against Dean as they dance. "He's not going to change! Why should I subject myself to a life of waiting? Of worrying of he's ever gonna come back? Or wondering if he can just be faithful!"

"Emily-"

"He doesn't even know I'm here! He's too worried about Fucking some random Bimbo, rather than looking around him." She let's out a tired sigh as her voice breaks, and she pinches the bridge of her nose. "I'm tired, Sam. I want to be wanted, to be loved. I can't do that, if I stay in this world." She states, taking a large guzzle of her drink, before she stands. "I need to use the restroom." She stalks off as Sam frowns, staring after her until she disappears from sight, and his eyes swing around the Dean as he's pressed against the blonde on the dancefloor.

Standing in front of the mirror I the bathroom, she is unable to see past the scars and moles that dot her skin, each one is like a Siren, screaming at her, saying "I'm here! You can't get rid of me! Nobody will love you with me!" and it's crushing her insides because of it. Taking a deep breath, she brushes a stray lock from her eyes, and walks out of the bathroom. "Hey," Her eyes snap up to see the bartender, Travis, pushing off the wall at her approach. "I'm on break, wanna dance?" He holds out his hand to her in an offer, which she hesitates before she takes it.

"Yeah, thanks." He just chuckles as he practically drags her to the dancefloor, and steps close to her. "Hey, not too close." She steps back a bit as he places a hand on her waist, and they start to sway.

"So, you know my name, do I get yours?" He asks as she shakes her head. It feels wrong to dance with him, not to mention that he gives her a bad feeling.

"Emily." She answers as they continue to circle the outer dancefloor, her eyes easily picking out Dean and his newest Bimbo in the crowd.

"Why do you look so sad, Emily?" He glances in the same direction, before smirking at her. "Ah, guy trouble? Did he leave you, for her?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but no. We're not together, and there is no "trouble" with any guy." She retorts, possibly a little too sharply. Travis just smirks as he spins her around, pulling her close, a little closer than comfortable, causing her to press against his chest to put room between them once again. "Not so close." She snips, and his grin turns lecherous as he spins her out, yanking her back to him, and grinds against her ass. "Hey, stop!" She barks, attempting to pull away as his hands fall to her waist, holding her in a bruising grip. "That hurts! Travis, let me go!" She struggles to get away as his grip tightens, and she let's out a cry.

"Go ahead and try to escape, you're just gonna make it all the more savory when you cry out for me later." He snarls with his face pressed to her ear.

"Let me go!" She shouts, suddenly she's yanked from the bartender's grasp, tucked into the person's warm side, causing her to look up at him as she quakes, seeing Dean seething as he glares at the bartender.

"She said 'let go' that means let go." He practically growls, arm around her waist, careful of the marks that she's sure that are developing on her flesh. Travis glares at Dean, grabbing him by the collar of his flannel.

"Hey, why don't you mind your own business? Go back to your little tramp, and let some other guys have some fun." Travis snarls in his face as Sam comes over, and Dean just shoots his brother a glance, before he hands Emily off to him. Travis smirks as Dean caresses her red locks, before he turns around and decks the bartender across the face.

"Oh my God!" Emily cries out as Travis wheels around, clutching his face as Dean grabs her wrist, tugging her towards the door. Travis isn't content to let it go though, he charges into the hunter, slamming into his back to knock him out the door, Dean's grip on Emily's wrist vanishes, before he brings her down to the ground as well. She manages to catch herself as she stumbles into the parking lot after them, fists are flying, they're rolling across the ground, it's all a blur as other people start to run out, the bouncers are even attempting to break up the fight. "Dean! Dean stop!" She shouts as they roll across the ground, landing punches. "Stop it!" She lunges at them, arms closing around Dean's chest as he prepares to punch the bartender, sitting astride the other man's chest as Dean heaves for air. "Stop. Just stop. Please." She whispers in his air as Travis glares up at them as the bouncers step in.

"Are you alright?" Dean asks as he stands, he cups her face as he rests his forehead against her's, and she let's out a shuttering breath as she nods. "You sure?" His voice is deep, shaking a bit, and she realizes that so are his hands that are now both on either side of her face.

"Mhm." She nods, softly taking his hands in her own, caressing the broken skin with sad eyes. "Let's go home."

"Yeah. Let's." He wraps an arm around her waist, and directs her over to the car, Sam is already on the way to the Bunker by the time Dean finds it in him to let go over her waist, and let her get in the car. It's been a long night.

#dean winchester x reader #supernatural #supernatural miniseries #ssfg writes #reverse french mistake #different series #oops no longer a mini series

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angelofberlin2000 · 5 years

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Photo: Emily Denniston/Vulture and photos courtesy of the studios

Keanu Reeves has been a movie star for more than 30 years, but it seems like only recently that journalists and critics have come to acknowledge the significance of his onscreen achievements. He’s had hits throughout his career, ranging from teen comedies (Bill & Ted’s) to action franchises (The Matrix, John Wick), yet a large part of the press has always treated these successes as bizarre anomalies. And that’s because we as a society have never been able to understand fully what Reeves does that makes his films so special.

In part, this disconnect is the lingering cultural memory of Reeves as Theodore Logan. No matter if he’s in Speed or Bram Stoker’s Dracula or Something’s Gotta Give, he still possesses the fresh-faced openness that was forever personified by Ted’s favorite expression: “Whoa!” That wide-eyed exclamation has been Reeves’s official trademark ever since, and its eternal adolescent naïveté has kept him from being properly judged on the merits of his work.

Some of that critical reassessment has been provided, quite eloquently, by Vulture’s own Angelica Jade Bastién, who has argued for Reeves’s greatness as an action star and his importance to The Matrix (and 21st-century blockbusters in general). Two of her observations are worth quoting in full, and they both have to do with how he has reshaped big-screen machismo. In 2017, she wrote, “What makes Reeves different from other action stars is this vulnerable, open relationship with the camera — it adds a through-line of loneliness that shapes all his greatest action-movie characters, from naïve hotshots like Johnny Utah to exuberant ‘chosen ones’ like Neo to weathered professionals like John Wick.” In the same piece, Bastién noted: “By and large, Hollywood action heroes revere a troubling brand of American masculinity that leaves no room for displays of authentic emotion. Throughout Reeves’s career, he has shied away from this. His characters are often led into new worlds by women of far greater skill and experience … There is a sincerity he brings to his characters that make them human, even when their prowess makes them seem nearly supernatural.”

In other words, the femininity of his beauty — not to mention his slightly odd cadence when delivering dialogue, as if he’s an alien still learning how Earthlings speak — has made him seem bizarre to audiences who have come to expect their leading men to act and carry themselves in a particular way. Critics have had a difficult time taking him seriously because it was never quite clear if what he was doing — or what was seemingly “missing” from his acting approach — was intentional or a failing.

This is not to say that Reeves hasn’t made mistakes. While putting together this ranking of his every film role, we noticed that there was an alarmingly copious number of duds — either because he chose bad material or the filmmakers didn’t quite know what to do with him. But as we prepare for the release of the third John Wick installment, it’s clear that his many memorable performances weren’t all just flukes. From Dangerous Liaisons to Man of Tai Chi — or River’s Edge to Knock Knock — he’s been on a journey to grow as an actor while not losing that elemental intimacy he has with the viewer. Below, we revisit those performances, from worst to best.

45. Johnny Mnemonic (1995)

The nadir of the ’90s cyberpunk genre, and a movie so bad, with Reeves so stranded, that it’s actually a bit of a surprise the Wachowskis were able to forget about it and still cast him as Neo. Dumber than a box of rocks, it’s a movie about technology and the internet — based on a William Gibson story! — that seems to have been made by people who had never turned on a computer before. Seriously, watch this shit:

44. The Watcher (2000) This movie exists in many ways because of its stunt casting: James Spader as a dogged detective and Keanu as the serial killer obsessed with him. Wait, shouldn’t those roles be switched? Get it? There would come a time in his career when Keanu could have maybe handled this character, but here, still with his floppy Ted Logan hair, he just looks ridiculous. The hackneyed screenplay does him no favors, either. Disturbingly, Reeves claims that he was forced to do this movie because his assistant forged his signature on a contract. He received the fifth of his seven Razzie nominations for this film. (He has yet to win and hasn’t been nominated in 17 years. In fact, it’s another sign of how lame the Razzies are that he got a “Redeemer” award in 2015, as if he needed to “redeem” anything to those people.)

43. Sweet November (2001) It’s a testament to how cloying and clunky Sweet November is that its two leads (Reeves and Charlize Theron) are, today, the pinnacle of action-movie cool — thanks to the same filmmaker, Atomic Blonde and John Wick’s David Leitch — yet so inert and waxen here. This is a career low point for both actors, preying on their weak spots. Watching it now, you can see there’s an undeniable discomfort on their faces: If being a movie star means doing junk like this, what’s the point? They’d eventually figure it all out.

42. Chain Reaction (1996) As far as premises for thrillers go, this isn’t the worst idea: A team of scientists are wiped out — with their murder pinned on poor Keanu — because they’ve figured out how to transform water into fuel. (Hey, Science, it has been 23 years. Why haven’t you solved this yet?) Sadly, this turns into a by-the-numbers chase flick with Reeves as Richard Kimble, trying to prove his innocence while on the run. He hadn’t quite figured out how to give a project like this much oomph yet, so it just mostly lies around, making you wish you were watching The Fugitive instead.

41. 47 Ronin (2013) In 2013, Reeves made his directorial debut with a Hong Kong–style action film. We’ll get into that one later, because it’s a ton better than this jumbled mess, a mishmash of fantasy and swordplay that mostly just gives viewers a headache. Also: This has to be the worst wig of Keanu’s career, yes?

40. Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (1993)

Gus Van Sant’s famously terrible adaptation of Tom Robbins’s novel never gets the tone even close to right, and all sorts of amazing actors are stranded and flailing around. Reeves gets some of the worst of it: Why cast one of the most famously chill actors on the planet and have him keep hyperventilating?

39. Replicas (2019) In the wake of John Wick’s success, Keanu has had the opportunity to sleepwalk through some lesser sci-fi actioners, and this one is particularly sleepy. The idea of a neuroscientist (Reeves) who tries to clone his family after they die in an accident could have been a Pet Sematary update, but the movie insists on an Evil Corporation plot that we’ve seen a million times before. John Wick has allowed Reeves to cash more random checks than he might have ten years ago. Here’s one of them.

38. Feeling Minnesota (1996) As far as we know, the only movie taken directly from a Soundgarden lyric — unless we’re missing a superhero named “Spoonman” — is this pseudo-romantic comedy that attempts to be cut from the Tarantino cloth but ends up making you think everyone onscreen desperately needs a haircut and a shave. Reeves can tap into that slacker vibe if asked to, but he requires much better material than this.

37. Little Buddha (1994)

To state the obvious, it would not fly today for Keanu Reeves to play Prince Siddhartha, a monk who would become the Buddha. But questions of cultural appropriation aside, you can understand what drew The Last Emperor director Bernardo Bertolucci to cast this supremely placid man as an iconic noble figure. Unfortunately, Little Buddha never rises above a well-meaning, simplistic depiction of the roots of a worldwide religion, and the effects have aged even more poorly. Nonetheless, Reeves is quite accomplished at being very still.

36. Much Ado About Nothing (1993) Quick anecdote: We saw this Kenneth Branagh adaptation of the Bard during its original theatrical run, and when Reeves’s villainous Don John came onscreen and declared, “I am not of many words,” the audience clapped sarcastically. That memory stuck because it encapsulates viewers’ inability in the early ’90s to see him as anything other than a dim SoCal kid. Unfortunately, his performance in Much Ado About Nothing doesn’t do much to prove his haters wrong. As an actor, he simply didn’t have the gravitas yet to pull off this fiendish role, and so this version is more radiant and alive when he’s not onscreen. It is probably just as well his character doesn’t have many words.

35. Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) GIFs are a cheap way to critique a performance. After all, acting is a complicated, arduous discipline that shouldn’t be reduced to easy laughs drawn from a few seconds of film played on a loop. Then again …

This really does sum up Reeves’s unsubstantial performance as Jonathan Harker, whose new client is definitely up to no good. Bram Stoker’s Dracula is a wonder of old-school special effects and operatic passion — and it is also a movie in which Reeves seems wholly ill at ease, never quite latching onto the story’s macabre period vibe. We suspect if he could revisit this role now, he’d be far more commanding and engaged. But in 1992, he was still too much Ted and not enough anything else. And Reeves knew it: A couple years later, when asked to name his most difficult role to that point, he said, “My failure in Dracula. Totally. Completely. The accent wasn’t that bad, though.” Well …

34. The Neon Demon (2016)

One of the perks of being a superstar is that you can sometimes just phone in an amusing cameo in some bizarro art-house offering. How else to explain Reeves’s appearance in this stylish, empty, increasingly surreal psychological thriller from Drive director Nicolas Winding Refn? He plays Hank, a scumbag motel manager whose main job is to add some local color to this portrait of the cutthroat L.A. fashion scene. If you’ve been waiting to hear Keanu deliver skeezy lines like “Why, did she send you out for tampons, too?!” and “Real Lolita shit … real Lolita shit,” The Neon Demon is the film for you. He’s barely in it, and we wouldn’t blame him if he doesn’t even remember it.

33. The Lake House (2006) Reeves reunites with his Speed co-star for a movie that features a lot fewer out-of-control buses. In The Lake House, Sandra Bullock plays a doctor who owns a lake house with the strangest magical power: She can send and receive letters from the house’s owner from two years prior, a dashing architect (Reeves). This American remake of the South Korean drama Il Mare is romantic goo that’s relatively easy to resist, and its ruminations on fate, love, destiny, and luck are all pretty standard for the genre. As for those hoping to enjoy the actors’ rekindled chemistry, spoiler alert: They’re not onscreen that much together.

32. Henry’s Crime (2011) You have to be careful not to cast Reeves as too passive a character; he’s so naturally calm that if he just sits and reacts to everything, and never steps up, your movie never really gets going. That’s the case in this heist movie about an innocent man (Reeves) who goes to jail for a crime he didn’t commit and then plans a scam with an inmate he meets there (James Caan). The movie wants to be a little quirkier than it is, and Reeves never quite snaps to. The film just idles on the runway.

31. The Bad Batch (2017) Following her acclaimed A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night, filmmaker Ana Lily Amirpour plops us in the middle of a desert hellscape in which a young woman (Suki Waterhouse) must battle to stay alive. The Bad Batch is less accomplished than A Girl, in large part because style outpaces substance — it’s a movie in which clever flourishes and indulgent choices rule all. Look no further than Reeves’s performance as the Dream, a cult leader who oversees the only semblance of civilization in this post-apocalyptic world. It’s less a character than an attitude, and Reeves struggles to make the shtick fly. He’s too goofy a villain for us to really feel the full measure of his monstrousness.

30. Hardball (2001)

Reeves isn’t the first guy you’d think of to head up a Bad News Bears–style inspirational sports movie, and he doesn’t pull it off, playing a gambler who becomes the coach of an inner-city baseball team and learns to love, or something. It’s as straightforward and predictable an underdog sports movie as you’ll find, and it serves as a reminder that Reeves’s specific set of skills can’t be applied to just any old generic leading-man role. The best part about the film? A 14-year-old Michael B. Jordan.

29. Street Kings (2008) Filmmaker David Ayer has made smart, tough L.A. thrillers like Training Day (which he wrote) and End of Watch (which he wrote and directed). Unfortunately, this effort with Reeves never stops being a mélange of cop-drama clichés, casting the actor as Ludlow, an LAPD detective who’s starting to lose his moral compass. This requires Reeves to be a hard-ass, which never feels particularly convincing. Street Kings is bland, forgettable pulp — Reeves doesn’t enliven it, getting buried along with the rest of a fine ensemble that includes Forest Whitaker, Hugh Laurie, and a pre-Captain America Chris Evans.

28. Constantine (2005) In post-Matrix mode, Reeves tries to launch another franchise in a DC Comics adaptation about a man who can see spirits on Earth and is doomed to atone for a suicide attempt by straddling the divide twixt Heaven and Hell. That’s not the worst idea, and at times Constantine looks terrific, but the movie doesn’t have enough wit or charm to play with Reeves’s persona the way the Wachowskis did.

27. The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008) Reeves’s alienlike beauty and off-kilter line readings made him an obvious choice to play Klaatu, an extraterrestrial who assumes human form when he arrives on our planet. This remake of the 1950s sci-fi classic doesn’t have a particularly urgent reason to exist — its pro-environment message is timely but awkwardly fashioned atop an action-blockbuster template — and the actor alone can’t make this Day particularly memorable. Still, there are signs of the confident post-Matrix star he had become, which would be rewarded in a few years with John Wick.

26. Knock Knock (2015) Reeves flirts with Michael Douglas territory in this Eli Roth erotic thriller that’s not especially good but is interesting as an acting exercise. He plays Evan, a contented family man with the house to himself while his wife and kids are out of town. Conveniently, two beautiful young strangers (Ana de Armas, Lorenza Izzo) come by late one stormy night, inviting themselves in and quickly seducing him. Is this his wildest sexual fantasy come to life? Or something far more ominous? It’s fun to watch Reeves be a basic married suburban dude who slowly realizes that he’s entered Hell, but Knock Knock’s knowing trashiness only takes this cautionary tale so far.

25. The Devil’s Advocate (1997)

Very few people bought tickets in 1997 for The Devil’s Advocate to see Keanu Reeves: Hotshot Attorney. Obviously, this horror thriller’s chief appeal was witnessing Al Pacino go over the top as Satan himself, who just so happens to be a New York lawyer. Nonetheless, it’s Reeves’s Kevin Lomax who’s actually the film’s main character; recently moved to Manhattan with his wife (Reeves’s future Sweet November co-star, Charlize Theron), he’s the new hire at a prestigious law firm who only later learns what nefarious motives have brought him there. Reeves is forced to play the wunderkind who gets in over his head, and it’s not entirely convincing — and that goes double for his southern accent.

24. The Prince of Pennsylvania (1988) “You are like some stray dog I never should have fed.” That’s how Rupert’s older hippie pal, Carla (Amy Madigan), affectionately refers to him, and because this teen dropout is played by Keanu Reeves, you understand what she means. In this forgotten early chapter in Reeves’s career, Rupert and Carla decide to ditch their going-nowhere Rust Belt existence by taking his dad (Fred Ward) hostage and collecting a handsome ransom. The Prince of Pennsylvania is a thoroughly contrived and mediocre comedy, featuring Reeves with an incredibly unfortunate haircut. (Squint and he looks like the front man for the Red Hot Chili Peppers.) Still, you can see signs of the soulfulness and vulnerability he’d later harness in better projects. He’s very much a big puppy looking for a home.

23. The Last Time I Committed Suicide (1997) Every hip young ’90s actor had to get his Jack Kerouac on at some point, so it would seem churlish to deny Reeves his opportunity. He plays the best pal/drinking buddy of Thomas Jane’s Neal Cassady, and he looks like he’s enjoying doing the Kerouac pose. Other actors have done so more indulgently. And even though he’s heavier than he’s ever been in a movie, he looks great.

22. A Walk in the Clouds (1995) Keanu isn’t quite as bad in this as it seemed at the time. He’s miscast as a tortured war veteran who finds love by posing as the husband of a pregnant woman, but he doesn’t overdo it either: If someone’s not right for a part, you’d rather them not push it, and Keanu doesn’t. Plus, come on, this movie looks fantastic: Who doesn’t want to hang around these vineyards? Not necessarily worth a rewatch, but not the disaster many consider it.

21. The Replacements (2000) The other movie where Keanu Reeves plays a former quarterback, The Replacements is an adequate Sunday-afternoon-on-cable sports comedy. He plays Shane, the stereotypical next-big-thing whose career capsized after a disastrous bowl game — but fear not, because he’s going to get a second chance at gridiron glory once the pros go on strike and the greedy owners decide to hire scabs to replace them. Reeves has never been particularly great at playing regular guys — his talent is that he seems different, more special, than you or me — but he ably portrays a good man who’s had to live with disappointment. The Replacements pushes all the predictable buttons, but Reeves makes it a little more enjoyable than it would be otherwise.

20. Tune in Tomorrow (1990) A very minor but sporadically charming bauble about a radio soap-opera scriptwriter (Peter Falk) who begins chronicling an affair between a woman (Barbara Hershey) and her not-related-by-blood nephew on his show — and ultimately begins manipulating it. Tune in Tomorrow is light and silly and harmless, and Reeves shows up on time to set and looks extremely eager to impress. He blends into the background quietly, which is probably enough.

19. I Love You to Death (1990)

This Lawrence Kasdan comedy — the first film after an incredible four-picture run of Body Heat, The Big Chill, Silverado, and The Accidental Tourist — is mostly forgotten today, and for good reason: It’s a farce that mostly features actors screaming at each other and calling it “comedy.” But Reeves hits the right notes as a stoned hit man, and it’s amusing just to watch him share the screen with partner William Hurt. This could have been the world’s strangest comedy team!

18. Youngblood (1986)

This Rob Lowe hockey comedy is … well, a Rob Lowe hockey comedy, but we had to include it because a 21-year-old Reeves plays a dim-bulb, good-hearted hockey player with a French Canadian accent that’s so incredible that you really just have to see it. Imagine if this were the only role Keanu Reeves ever had? It’s sort of amazing. “AH-NEE-MAL!”

17. Destination Wedding (2018) An oddly curdled comedy about two wedding guests (Reeves and Winona Ryder) who have terrible attitudes about everything but end up bonding over their universal disdain for the planet and everyone on it. That sounds like a chore to watch, and at times it is, but the pairing of Reeves and Ryder has enough nostalgic Gen-X spark to it that you go along with them anyway. With almost any other actors you might run screaming away, but somehow, in spite of everything, you find them both likable.

16. Thumbsucker (2005)

The first film from 20th Century Women and Beginners’ Mike Mills, this mild but clever coming-of-age comedy adaptation of a Walter Kirn novel has Mills’s trademark good cheer and emotional honesty. Reeves plays the eponymous thumbsucker’s dentist — it’s funny to see Keanu play someone named “Dr. Perry Lyman” — who has the exact right attitude about both orthodontics and life. It’s a lived-in, funny performance, and a sign that Keanu, with the right director, could be a more than capable supporting character actor.

15. Something’s Gotta Give (2003) This Nancy Meyers romantic comedy was well timed in Reeves’s career. A month after the final Matrix film hit theaters, Something’s Gotta Give arrived, offering us a very different Keanu — not the intense, sci-fi action hero but rather a charming, low-key love interest who’s just the supporting player. He plays Julian Mercer, a doctor administering to shameless womanizer Harry Sanborn (Jack Nicholson), who’s dating a much younger woman (Amanda Peet), who just so happens to be the daughter of a celebrated playwright, Erica (Diane Keaton). We know who will eventually end up with whom in Something’s Gotta Give, but Reeves proves to be a great romantic foil, wooing Erica with a grown-up sexiness the actor didn’t possess in his younger years. We’re still not sure Meyers got the ending right: Erica should have stuck with him instead of Harry.

14. Man of Tai Chi (2013) This is the only movie that Reeves has directed, and what does it tell us about him? Well, it tells us he has watched a ton of Hong Kong action movies and always wanted to make one himself. And it’s pretty good! It’s technically proficient, it has a straightforward narrative, it has some excellent long-take action sequences (as we see in John Wick, Keanu isn’t a quick-cut guy; he likes to show his work), and it has a perfectly decent Keanu performance. We wouldn’t call him a visionary director by any stretch of the imagination. But we’d watch another one of these, definitely.

13. Dangerous Liaisons (1988)

Le Chevalier Raphael Danceny is merely a pawn in a cruel game being played by Marquise de Merteuil and Vicomte de Valmont, and so it makes some sense that the young man who played him, Keanu Reeves, is himself a little outclassed by the actors around him. This Oscar-winning drama is led by Glenn Close and John Malkovich, who have the wit and bite to give this 18th-century tale of thwarted love and bruised pride some real zest. By comparison, Danceny is practically a boy, unschooled in the art of manipulation, and Reeves provides the character with the appropriate youthful naïveté. He’s not a standout in Dangerous Liaisons, but he acquits himself well — especially near the end, when his blade fells Valmont, leaving him as one of the unlikely survivors in the film’s ruthless battle.

12. The Private Lives of Pippa Lee (2009) In this incredible showcase for Robin Wright, who plays a woman navigating a constrictive, difficult life with more grace and intelligence than anyone realizes, Reeves shows up late in a role that he’s played before: the younger guy who’s the perfect fit for an older woman figuring herself out. He hits the right notes and never overstays his welcome. As a romantic lead, less is more for Reeves.

11. Parenthood (1989) If you were an uptight suburban dad, like Steve Martin is in Ron Howard’s ensemble comedy, your nightmare would be that your beloved daughter gets involved with a doofus like Tod. Nicely played by Keanu Reeves, the character is the embodiment of every slacker screwup who’s going to just stumble through life, knocking over everything and everyone in his path. But as it turns out, he’s a lot kinder and mature than at first glance. Released six months after Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Parenthood showed mainstream audiences a more grown-up Reeves, and he’s enormously appealing — never more so than when advising a young kid that it’s okay to masturbate: “I told him that’s what little dudes do.”

10. Permanent Record (1988) A very lovely and sad movie that’s nearly forgotten today, Permanent Record, directed by novelist Marisa Silver, features Reeves as the best friend of a teenager who commits suicide and, along with the rest of their friends, has to pick up the pieces. For all of Reeves’s trademark reserve, there is very little restraint here: His character is devastated, and Reeves, impressively, hits every note of that grief convincingly. You see this guy and you understand why everyone wanted to make him a star. This is a very different Reeves from now, but it’s not necessarily a worse one.

9. Point Break (1991)

Just as Reeves’s reputation has grown over time, so too has the reputation of this loopy, philosophical crime thriller. Do people love Point Break ironically now, enjoying its over-the-top depiction of men seeking a spiritual connection with the world around them? Or do they genuinely appreciate the seriousness that director Kathryn Bigelow brought to her study of lonely souls looking for that next big rush — whether through surfing or robbing banks? The power of Reeves’s performance is that it works both ways. If you want to snicker at his melodramatic turn, fine — but if you want to marvel at the rapport his Johnny Utah forms with Patrick Swayze (Bodhi), who only feels alive when he’s living life to the extreme, then Point Break has room for you on the bandwagon.

8. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) and Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991) Before there was Beavis and Butt-Head, before there was Wayne and Garth, there were these guys: two Valley bozos who loved to shred and goof off. As Theodore Logan, Keanu Reeves found the perfect vessel for his serene silliness, playing well off Alex Winter’s equally clueless Bill. But note that Bill and Ted aren’t jerks — watch Excellent Adventure now and you’ll be struck by how incredibly sunny its humor is. Later in his career, Reeves would show off a darker, more brooding side, but here in Excellent Adventure (and its less-great sequel Bogus Journey) he makes blissful stupidity endearing.

7. The Gift (2000) This Sam Raimi film, with a Billy Bob Thornton script inspired by his mother, fizzled at the box office, despite a top-shelf cast: It’s probably not even the first film called The Gift you think of when we bring it up. But, gotta say, Reeves is outstanding in it, playing an abusive husband and all-around sonuvabitch who, nevertheless, might be unfairly accused of murder, a fact only a psychic (Cate Blanchett) understands. Reeves is full-on trailer trash here, but he brings something new and unexpected to it: a sort of bewildered malevolence, as if he’s moved by forces outside of his control. More of this, please.

6. My Own Private Idaho (1991)

Gus Van Sant’s landmark drama is chiefly remembered for River Phoenix’s nakedly anguished performance as Mike, a spiritually adrift gay hustler. (Phoenix’s death two years after My Own Private Idaho’s release only makes the portrayal more heartbreaking.) But his performance doesn’t work without a doubles partner, which is where Reeves comes in. Playing Scott, a fellow hustler and Mike’s best friend, Reeves adeptly encapsulates the mind-set of a young man content to just float through life. Unlike Mike, he knows he has a fat inheritance in his future — and also unlike Mike, he’s not gay, unable to share his buddy’s romantic feelings. Phoenix deservedly earned most of the accolades, but Reeves is terrific as an unobtainable object of affection — inviting, enticing, but also unknowable.

5. Speed (1994)

Years later, we still contend that Speed is a stupid idea for a movie that, despite all logic (or maybe because of the utter insanity of its premise), ended up being a total hoot. What’s clear is that the film simply couldn’t have worked if Reeves hadn’t approached the story with straight-faced sincerity: His L.A. cop Jack Traven is a ramrod-serious lawman who is going to do whatever it takes to save those bus passengers. Part of the pleasure of Speed is how it constantly juxtaposes the life-or-death stakes with the high-concept inanity — Stay above 50 mph or the bus will explode! — and that internal tension is expressed wonderfully by Reeves, who invests so intently in the ludicrousness that the movie is equally thrilling and knowingly goofy. And it goes without saying that he has dynamite chemistry with Sandra Bullock. Strictly speaking, you probably shouldn’t flirt this much when you’re sitting on top of a bomb — but it’s awfully appealing when they get their happy ending.

4. River’s Edge (1987) This film’s casting director said she cast Reeves as one of the dead-end kids who learn about a murder and do nothing “because of the way he held his body … his shoes were untied, and what he was wearing looked like a young person growing into being a man.” This was very much who the early Reeves was, and River’s Edge might be his darkest film. His vacancy here is not Zen cool … it’s just vacant, intellectually, ethically, morally, emotionally. Only in that void could Reeves be this terrifying. This is definitely a performance, but it never feels like acting. His magnetism was almost mystical.

3. John Wick (2014), John Wick: Chapter Two (2017), and John Wick: Chapter 3 — Parabellum (2019)

If they hadn’t killed his dog, none of this would have happened. Firmly part of the “middle-aged movie stars playing mournful badasses” subgenre that’s sprung up since Taken, the John Wick saga provides Reeves with an opportunity to be stripped-down but not serene. He’s a lethal assassin who swore to his dead wife that he’d put down his arms — but, lucky for us, he reneges on that promise after he’s pushed too far. Whereas in his previous hits there was something detached about Reeves, here’s he locked in in such a way that it’s both delightful and a little unnerving. The 2014 original was gleefully over-the-top already, and the sequels have only amped up the spectacle, but his genuine fury and weariness felt new, exciting, a revelation. Turns out Keanu Reeves is frighteningly convincing as a guy who can kill many, many people.

2. A Scanner Darkly (2006)

In hindsight, it seems odd that Keanu Reeves and Richard Linklater have only worked together once — their laid-back vibes would seemingly make them well suited for one another. But it makes sense that the one film they’ve made together is this Philip K. Dick adaptation, which utilizes interpolated rotoscoping to tell the story of a drug cop (Reeves) who’s hiding his own addiction while living in a nightmarish police state. That wavy, floating style of animation nicely complements A Scanner Darkly’s sense of jittery paranoia, but it also deftly mimics Reeves’s performance, which seems to be drifting along on its own wavelength. If in the Matrix films, he manages to defeat the dark forces, in this film they’re too powerful, leading to a pretty mournful finale.

1. The Matrix (1999), The Matrix Reloaded (2003), and The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

“They had written something that I had never seen, but in a way, something that I’d always hoped for — as an actor, as a fan of science fiction.” That’s how Reeves described the sensation of reading the screenplay for The Matrix, which had been dreamed up by two up-and-coming filmmakers, Lana and Lilly Wachowski. Five years after Speed, he found his next great project, which would become the defining role of his career. Neo is the missing link between Ted’s Zen-like stillness and John Wick’s lethal efficiency, giving us a hero’s journey for the 21st century that took from Luke Skywalker and anime with equal aplomb. Never before had the actor been such a formidable onscreen presence — deadly serious but still loose and limber. Even when the sequels succumbed to philosophical ramblings and overblown CGI, Reeves commanded the frame. We always knew that he seemed like a cool, left-of-center guy. The Matrix films gave him an opportunity to flex those muscles in a true blockbuster.

#keanu reeves #keanu reeves movies #ranking #vulture

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originaldetectivesheep · 7 years

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The Thirty and One Nights' Momentary Diversion - In the Track of the Albatross, part I

Le'von, Lew, Hurley, and Allison return from "When John Frum Came Back to Peliwak" (collected in Monsters of the Week), with a new plane, a new employer, and a new wild-goose chase: a German sub missing for near on a hundred years.

In the Track of the Albatross

I spread out my toes and felt the rivets under my feet, the exact curve of the wing, as I leaned in, getting up on the edge, and hucked the tool bag down and across to Lew. He caught it out of the air, cracking a smile as he rocked back under the impact of the canvas, bare feet kicking against the side of the ship under the access door. With a motion half back inside, he chucked the bag somewhere in, down, inside the belly of the plane. "If there's a good thing about dropping off that Navy pension and coming up on this contract crap," he said, coming back, blond curls shaking as he leaned back out of the frame, "it's that now, the damn plane's big enough that we can keep all the crap we got to fix'er with inside." He patted the doorframe of the Scooper. "I tell ya, Le'von, thisn's a good plane; days I loved that old Cat, but every time you go up, she like as to break up around you."

"I hear you," I said, sidling along the roof over the door, getting ready to drop down and swing in as soon as Lew budged up from the doorway. "I'm sure glad that this plane is, like, younger than me and she don't take near as much work to keep up, but the other side of being big enough that we can keep all our stuff on board means we got to. I don't miss being cooped up on Tuganga, not so much, but sleeping in a hammock strung up between a stack of vacuum tubes and a crate of MREs gets kinda old, y'know? If they'd just let us home-port in Guam, I wouldn't have nothing to complain about." Below me, Lew nodded vigorously, staring out over the lagoon to the distant sandbars of the Chuuk reef line.

Of course, you couldn't take an ancient Catalina and its crew back to Guam, someplace civilized with modern equipment, once you closed up the antique radar station that the bird was assigned to in favor of a damn satellite. But after that business on Peliwak, and what we'd reported before the island blew up, the service wasn't about to just let us walk and go talk to whoever – and not Hurley and Allison either. They had to stick a flying boat pilot and his maintenance dude somewhere, and also their radar-ops buddy and their not-totally-useless station chief: where they stuck us, and it was all of us, was into an almost-modern Bombardier Scooper and the world's most obvious black-ops bullshit cover story.

The plane belonged to Northern Stores, technically; I found out during the 'orientation' video for our new 'employer' that this was legit the Hudson's Bay Company, still a weird mercantilist almost-arm of the Canadian goddamn government two hundred years later. Which explained why the Island Fresh supermarket in Kolonia, the capital of Pohnpei state in Micronesia, could suddenly get a seaplane attached to it and nobody blinked. When we were 'home-ported', we slept in the plane in the harbor, parked between leafy sandbars and sunken hulks blocking the channel, but we were never home in port – there was always something that someone wanted somewhere, somewhere out in the big empty of the Pacific Ocean that jets couldn't get to correctly and boats couldn't get to fast enough. So we got borrowed: Lew to fly the plane, me to keep it running and the crew from getting tetanus or dysentery, Al to spot storms and handle any kind of ELINT, and Hurley to…. well, to go talk to people that wouldn't take a Melanesian pilot or a black wrencher or a weird, socially mute radio op seriously. That was mostly what Hurley was good for, mostly what he did. Like now; that was what he was coming back from doing, standing up in the front end of a motor canoe in his Navy whites, the local pilot back by the outboard leaning way back out over the spray to keep the canoe balanced, or to get himself as far the hell away from Hurley as he possibly could. The canoe slowed up as it turned in towards the plane, and Lew and I half saluted out of force of habit.

Hurley threw it back as smart and crisp as the dress trousers none of us ever caught him washing. "Morning, Le'von, Lew; are we shipshape?"

I nodded over at the engine I'd given a going-over. "Yeah; I popped a panel after those diagnostics came up last time, but everything's in place, fluids are good, nothing's wearing out. We ain't filled up since we landed, but just driving over here to anchor probably didn't burn that much. Lew?"

Lew nodded. "Man's right; we're near full up, still all stowed from coming in. Most any patrol, we're ready to go as soon we spin up the engines."

Hurley's face was unexpectedly grave. "That's good to hear, but I'll take exception to part of it. This isn't 'most any patrol' we've got – we're going to be out a long ways, perhaps for a long time – longer than we've done in a while. We're going to need to top off what we burned taxiing over here – and to fill up the two water-bomber tanks forward with fuel as a backup."

I shifted myself sideways, edging off the door. This was serious; whoever had delivered this plane to us through whatever channels had taken out most of the firefighting equipment that had been built into it to start, leaving a lean but flexible long-range seaplane without a lot of extra weight, but there were still two of the bomb tanks opening out the hull – in case we needed to do some firefighting, or in case we needed to go farther, way out in that big empty, than anyone could rationally expect a seaplane to go. "In that case, I've got to check the doors and make sure they're sealing tight – so we aren't leaking and we aren't pumping water through the engines. I'll make it quick; wherever this is, you probably want to get going right away." Hurley nodded, and I shucked off my shirt, throwing it in past Lew as he bent to help Hurley up into the plane. I slid off the edge of the fuselage and straight down into the sea; there were gauges inside, but the surest way to check the seals on the forward bomb bay doors was to run a finger along all the seams, to feel for the water sucking in on the pressure change, getting in where it wasn't supposed to.

When I climbed back up in, scrubbing off with a microfiber towel before I dripped on something that would be expensive to have short out, the engines were already turning; the electric starters on the new Pratts sure beat the heck out of manually cranking the ones on the old ship. Lew was running through his checklist and Hurley was in the copilot's chair; I picked up my shirt from the jump seat and sat down to pull it on. "So, what's the mission, boss?" I asked, digging in with my fingers to get the last of the water out of my hair. "We've got to be going far, and out of the way, if we've got to gas up again, let alone load extra fuel into the bomb tanks. Where abouts? Wake? Kiribati? The Solomons?"

Hurley answered, even though I was mostly talking to Lew. "You're not far wrong; it's in that area, it's far away, and it's somewhat sensitive – as in the U.S. government is not supposed to be there, by orders of both the FSM and Papua New Guinea, at least one of whom owns the reefs and sandbars in the outer Bismarcks that we have to check first. They're not allowed to land; otherwise they would have sent the SEALs and might have sent a task force. Because it's fine and well for small countries to have territorial sovereignty, but when you go about building a submarine dock and berthing a two-hundred-foot boat of no known type there, the Navy gets a little anxious."

I had been nodding through Hurley's World Police ramble there, but when he got to the wild sub, I sat bolt upright. "Wait. What? They've got us off sub hunting? Why? How? And what do you mean, 'no known type' – how did nobody spot it before?"

Lew brought the engines up to taxi speed, and checked that the anchor was all the way up as he fed in the throttle to get us moving over towards the pier by the west end of the airport. "We didn't hear about it out here, being so cut off from the Internet," Hurley said, raising his voice a little to be heard over the props, "but a bunch of USGIS satelllite survey images got wikileaked a few weeks ago, and the usual conspiracy weirdos with more spare time than sense immediately put together a crowdsearch project to find the aliens, or the Jade Helm bases, or whatever rubbish people are getting riled up about this week. They found nothing like that, of course, but what they did find was a submarine, of no type known to modern navies, berthed to a crude pier on a tropical sandbar. This was remarked on, but because the leak did not include a way to make sense of the image codes, the amateurs huffing over it couldn't find what particular tropical beach, exactly, the image represented, and after diligently not finding any matching island and submarine dock on Google Earth, the wasters forgot about it and went back to their games or harrassing celebrities or whatnot.

"The government most decidedly did not forget. The Internet amateurs did not find the submarine base on Google Earth because Google, mindful of their bandwidth, does not include images in sufficient resolution to identify it for grid squares that should be merely an empty and uninteresting patch of the Pacific Ocean. But the USGIS does have images at that resolution, and as soon as someone saw the image codes, they confirmed that this square of ocean, long ignored as uninteresting, had been hosting at least one submarine base for quite some time."

"I'm not liking the sound of this – especially that 'at least one' part," I said, turning around as I stood up to check the connections between the main fuel tanks and the backup bomb tanks. Lew spun the engines down, and through the windshield ahead, I could see the motor launch from the airport coming in, trailing the hose back to the tank truck.

"I haven't even gotten to the bad part yet," Hurley said, without a care in the world. "The Navy's identified at least three more potential or former sub docks, strung out along the outer edge of the Bismarck archipelago, or on flyspeck seamounts out in the ocean between there and the Carolines; submarine docks associated with what look, to a practiced eye, like careful copra plantations and drying facilities. Someone is running a submarine around in the wastes of the Central Pacific, and fueling it with coconuts, the oil or the dry meat for coal."

"Everyone runs copra out here," I said, checking the pressure on the bomb tanks as the gas started to fill in. "Doesn't mean anything; anybody who can find themselves an uninhabited island will put up some trees and get a grow going, no matter who the land ought to belong to. Doesn't mean anything."

"Of course it doesn't; not by itself." Hurley was unaffected. "But with the submarine, it may – and not just any submarine. The sub is of no known type – no type known to modern navies. But there is a historical class that, despite the fairly bad quality of the one half-submerged satellite photo of the ship that we have available, may be a match – and that class has long been legended to be missing a ship."

The gauges were all green. I turned back around to confront Hurley about this. "Okay, fine. So what is this mystery ship? Some missing Nazi U-boat that flew in from Antarctica?"

Hurley was turned around, and he shook his head, chuckling, in that way he had that always made me wish I had a wrench to hand, and that he wasn't standing in front of anything important. "You've got the right country, Le'von, but the wrong war. Our missing ship is the nigh-mythical U-160, not recorded as launched from Kiel in March 1918 as the last of the U-151 class, the long-range cargo subs intended to connect Germany with her distant colonies and reluctant trading partners. The hull dimensions of the ship seen by the satellite are within ten percent of what we know of the U-151s; it wouldn't be impossible for a German submarine to be found out here, in the old German colonial waters, as an evacuation ship or a commerce raider or both in the dying days of the Great War. Where this becomes impossible is when that ship survives a hundred years on and is still sailing – and then why, and where, and for whose ends, becomes very interesting to a great many people."

I nodded, and crossed my arms. "Right. And when you've got a ghost ship out there doing impossible things within a thousand or two miles of Pohnpei, up and goes the ex-Tuganga Weather Station after it, because anybody knows impossible, it's them."

Hurley turned back around, putting his headset on as Lew brought the engines up again. "Tuganga's in the past, Le'von; we're with the Rachel now, and with her, well, I guess we've got to always be searching for everyone's lost children."

"Sir yes sir," I said, ignoring the reference and sitting back down in the jump seat. I had my own checklists to run as Lew opened the engine up to take us out; I didn't have much to do in the air, but when we got wherever we were going, it was going to be me on the beach – me out on the beach looking for clues to a ghost ship lost at sea for the longest part of a hundred years.

Part II

#30and1nights #fiction

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wayneooverton · 5 years

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Tips for surviving long-haul flights from a professional flyer who hates flying

I first started seriously traveling over a decade ago, mostly back and forth between Washington DC and Europe, when I was living in Spain. I hated the travel. In fact, I still do.

Ironic right? The professional travel blogger who hates flying. Who would have thought?

I can still easily recollect the utter agony I felt at those overnight flights that felt like they would never end. I mean 7 hours crammed in a metal tube surrounded by equally grumpy people who wish they could be anywhere else; could it get any worse?

Wait guys, it totally can!

Then I moved to New Zealand, aka the end of the world, where everything is approximately a 24 hours of flying away! What was I thinking?!

These days I yearn for those 7 hour overnight flights. For me, I now count anything less than 8 hours as a short flight. Talk about perspective.

As I began writing this from 40,000 feet in the comfort of business class on one of the longest flights in the world, 17 hours from Dubai to Auckland (don’t hate me cuz you ain’t me), I can’t help but reflect on over a decade of solo travel that often involved long ass flights, most of which made me want to kill myself, and how I managed to survive.

Blah blah privelage blah blah. Let’s move on to the real stuff.

I’m not a good flier, and I never have been, but now surviving long haul flights is kinda my speciality.

I have severe anxiety, depression and insomnia, not a good combination for someone whose job requires them to board planes all the damn time. It’s not the act of flying that stresses me out, and I’m not worried about crashing, it’s rather the whole process of airports and travel that literally gives me nightmares.

I’m not kidding. I actually do have regular nightmares about packing suitcases, losing things, arriving late to the airport, and checking in. All the time.

10 Things I Really Wish People Would Stop Doing on Airplanes

My flying anxiety mostly comes from being surrounded by so many people (so annoying) and unable to get away from them. What on earth does that say about my character? Wait, don’t answer that.

So I feel duty-bound and honored to share the wisdom that hundreds (yes hundreds) of long-haul flights have taught me about how to survive stupidly long trips. The past two years I’ve averaged around 100 flights per year, so I consider myself something of an expert on the matter.

And even with all those miles and carbon emission offsets under my belt, I still hate flying. But I’ve learned to make it a lot more palatable, and no, it’s not always because I’m drunk or popped some Xanax. Or both.

With more people traveling than ever these days, getting on planes is an inevitable part of the process, unless you’re one of those badass people who hitchhike on cargo ships or bike packs around the world, and if you are, I salute you.

But for the rest of us, how do we make flying more bearable? Like really? Here’s my best guide of real, honest, tried and tested tips to surviving long haul flights. Enjoy!

1. Weasel your way into business class

Ok, ok, don’t stop reading just yet. Hear me out.

Most of the time I fly long-haul these days, I fly premium, usually in business class BUT I almost never buy business class tickets because they are usually very pricey. And let me be the first to tell you that as soon as you fly in business or first class, the entire airplane experience becomes INSTANTLY more palatable, dare I say, enjoyable?

While this deserves a blog post entirely on it’s on, my biggest tips for getting an affordable business class long haul flights are last minute upgrades and airline loyalty. Start collecting miles and pick an airline to build an alliance with. Use those points or miles to cash in for upgrades, and often you will receive cheap upgrade offers. And always ask when you check in at the airport how much an upgrade would cost. Most of the time it’s a lot cheaper than buying a premium ticket, and airlines always look more favorably on guests who have status with them. And the first people who get upgraded for free are usually the ones with high status – this happens to me ALL THE TIME on overbooked flights.

They also look more favorably on people who don’t look like shit so don’t show up to the airport in your sweats. Trust me, this works.

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A post shared by Tara Milk Tea (@taramilktea) on Nov 18, 2018 at 3:13am PST

2. If you can’t get upgrade, at least weasel your way into good seats

When I was dirt poor traveling on pennies for years, sleeping my way through European airports and 30 bed hostel dorms, I quickly figured out how to ninja my way into good seats in economy, in particular how to get a row to myself.

Depending on the size of the plane I usually found the back to be emptier, and as soon as I booked I’d go online and chose my seats. If it’s full and I don’t think I have a chance of scoring a row to myself, I’ll pay up for an exit row or a premium seat. If I have money to spare, I’ll splurge on airlines like Air New Zealand that have the Skycouch option in economy where you can get the whole row to yourself or go up into Premium Economy with them or Cathay Pacific.

But here’s one of my best secrets: certain airlines will even let you buy the seat next to you, they call it a comfort seat, for like $100. Not having anyone to fight over the armrest with or drool on you? Hell, that’s worth $100 to me.

My other big trick is that I always chat up the staff at check in to see if I can move my seat around to a better one, and even at the gate too. It doesn’t hurt to ask.

3. Stop flying shitty airlines

Not all airlines are created equal, and there is a big difference between flying a budget airline for 12 hours and a nice airline for 12 hours.

Do your research (here for seats and set up and here for the best 2019 airlines).

Air New Zealand has and always will be my favorite airline, and I can’t recommend them enough!

4. Candy Crush your way around the world

Last year as I boarded a red-eye Malaysia Airlines flight to Kuala Lumpur and made way through the overbooked economy section full of cramped seats on one of the oldest and most rattliest airplanes I’ve ever been on, I almost had a panic attack. It was really old, stinky, and rusty, three things I do not want to see on a plane. You just knew it was going to be hell.

We were delayed for hours sitting on the runway for maintenance. The whole time I was thinking no wonder one of their planes went down. As I was crammed in my seat on the waiting, I really really want to stand up and say “let me off right this minute” about to have a panic attack.

Wondering how I was going to survive the next 12 hours, literally and figuratively, without thinking I downloaded Candy Crush right before takeoff.

I think I came up for air 5 hours later. Damn that went by fast!

5. Excuse me, where’s my Xanax?

You know those people that say things like, “oh the flight was great, I slept the whole way” I have a special message for you – screw you!

Why are some people blessed with a thin physique and ability to sleep sitting up? It just isn’t fair!

You’d think for someone who flies as much as me that I’d be able to sleep on planes but the truth is I can’t. I need to be completely horizontal and either drunk or medicated to sleep on a plane.

Since I’m being super honest on here, even now I usually need some kind of medical or liquid assistance to relax me on planes. From sleeping tablets to melatonin, to sleepy teas to all the wine, anything that can help my jitters and anxiety disappear, is great.

I’ve only just started to meditate on use the Headspace app on trips, which has been great so far!

6. Take a break

I know this one is a bit of a luxury but if I have the time and can afford it, I’ll book stopovers on my trips to avoid back to back long haul flights. Now that I live in New Zealand, if I want to get to Europe or Africa or the East Coast in the USA, I am looking at back to back long-haul flights which is THE FUCKING WORST.

One long haul flight sucks. Two in a row? Kill me now.

My usual flights to Europe involve the following: 2 hours Queenstown to Auckland. 17 hours Auckland to Dubai. 7 house Dubai to Europe. I often intentionally book flights with long layovers or multi-day stopovers.

I’ll stop in Dubai for a night or too to relax, and sometimes airlines will give you a free hotel room if you have a super long layover. I even have booked rooms at the airport hotel INSIDE Terminal 3 in Dubai; they have hour specials as well, so sometimes I’ll book a 6 hour stay there on a long-ish layover.

It’s so worth it.

7. Change your clothes, for you and everyone else

I don’t think I started packing a change of clothes in my carry-on until I moved to New Zealand, and honestly I don’t know how I survived flying before. Or how the people next to me survived. I’m so sorry.

Nowadays I usually bring 2-3 changes of clothes in my carry-on, and I have a strict routine.

As soon as I board a long-haul flight, even before takeoff, I go to the bathroom and put on my airplane pajamas. These are pajamas that don’t look like pajamas; how you style them is up to you. Sweatpants. Thick socks. Comfy t-shirt (no bra – again sorry guys) and cozy sweater hoodie thing that is stylish. You don’t want to look like a total bum, especially if you’re in business class.

I never fly without wearing my beloved Allbirds, the perfect travel shoe.

I don’t know about you, but nothing puts me in a cranky mood like dirty underwear.

8. Don’t let yourself dry up or smell bad

First pull out your fancy jade roller and work out those puffy cheeks. Don’t forget to hydrate!

I’m just kidding, god how annoying are beauty bloggers?

I don’t have some fancy flash routine for flying, but I do always bring a small bottle of face lotion, body lotion, toothpaste and deodorant with me. And I have been known to slap on a $4 Sephora face mask halfway through a 15 hour flight, but honestly, can you blame me?

Airplanes are notorious for their dry air, so make sure to moisturize and drink heaps of water.

9. Binging makes everything go faster

Part of my travel routine is to download at least 10 hours of a new podcast or tv show on my phone, just in case I need entertaining or the movies suck. Usually I have a book or two with me.

I know that might go without saying but it has truly saved me on several flights. I first listened to Serial years ago on a flight from Vancouver to Auckland and it truly changed how I travel. The trick is finding podcasts that are really “binge-able” that you can’t stop listening too. It makes the trip go by fast.

But did he do it?

10. If you can’t see or hear anyone, are you alone?

I never travel without really good earplugs and a comfy dark eye mask. If you fly business class on long-haul flights these are usually provided.

It makes things so much better, and I found even at my most anxious when I slip them on, it’s like I’m not even there.

Oh, and window seat, always.

Do you have any tips or secrets for surviving long-haul flights? Are you as neurotic as me flying? Spill!

The post Tips for surviving long-haul flights from a professional flyer who hates flying appeared first on Young Adventuress.

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