#but goddamn it’s funny too

[shit-talker]

The 141 have a ridiculous run of inside jokes that is continuosly ruining their lives, such as;

1.) If someone says, "You love it really," to you, you immediately have to agree with them, no matter what the circumstances. Otherwise, you lose the ability to do it back. This has resulted in many weird fake confessions, including one time in which Soap got fed up with people making your mom jokes at him and went on a rant about it. Ghost glanced at him in front of a room full of cadets and just went, "You love it really, though," and Soap almost died as he sadly nodded and replied, "Yeah, I do."

2.) If something even remotely sexual sounding is said about you, you must always say, "You're damn right I do/am/will," back. This backfired once when they were in a defreif and Price said something about Gaz "coming through the back door" and Gaz, without think, winked and replied "You're damn right I did," In front of everyone and got in trouble for mild insubordination. (The others almost died laughing as he realised what he'd done, who he'd done it to, and who he'd done it in front of (aka Price's bosses))

3.) When talking about Roach, they will always act like he's died. He hasn't, but none of them can stop the joke, and it always makes all of them crack up, even Roach. This once caused major panic, as once when Ghost was discussing their latest mission with Laswell, he said, "It was fine because Roach - God rest his soul -" and Laswell had about two minutes where she thinks Roach has dropped dead and she didn't fucking know.

4.) They will always make up bad stories for how they met Ghost, if anyone ever asks. It doesn't matter what the truth is, or who they're speaking to, when asked, all three of them will reply with some made up, overly dramatic or down right boring story on how they met. These stories ranged from Ghost, saving them from a shark attack (Gaz), Ghost selling them assorted drugs as a teenager (Roach), and most devastatingly is when Soap told a distant relative of his that he met Ghost after "finding him with my older brother, behind his wifes back" he does not have an older brother, and so there is no wife.

5.) They always reference the "Malibu incident." None of them have ever been to Malibu. Nothing bad has ever happened there, but now they've created a whole conspiracy in the British Army about a coverup that happened in Malibu. Price knows about this one and finds it endlessly funny, so he goes along with it, never directly mentioning it but refusing to deny it when someone asks. If anyone ever asks about the details of it, they just give a deadpanned look as if the other person should already know and say; "Don't make me say it." There are rumours. Like, a lot of rumours.

6.) Roach claps every time someone says, "I'll be there for you" because once he clapped at the wrong time during the friends intro and had been paying the price ever since. It doesn't happen often, but sometimes you'll just hear him clapping - not even in the tune to the friends theme. Just random clapping. If any of the others hear it, they almost always reply with "That's a fuckin' joke" in a really disappointed tone. It's confused a lot of people.

#call of duty #cod mw2 #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #kyle gaz garrick #gary roach sanderson #john price #kate laswell #they spend far too much time together #so their humour has kind of melded together to make their own goddamn language that nobody else ever understands #and they can't explain it either #because it always takes too long and by the time theyre done its not even funny #so they just look crazy to everyone #price knows about most of these but absolutely refuses to take part in them #except for malibu #because he actually finds that one funny #task force 141 #cod 141 #shit talker talks

[tiredrobin]

leonide listening to murderbot talk to ART (who is, at least by her assumption, a human captain or something) and MB being like "fuck you" vehemently and ART being like "you haven't spoken to me like that in weeks. i've missed it" ... like this woman is listening to a robot (well, construct, one that presumably isnt a rogue because it's still protecting humans) swear at a presumed human, and yet no one else—NO ONE ELSE AT ALL—is acting like this is odd. it's odd!!! from her perspective, it's fucking weird!!!! and then later she's like "is that really a secunit?" because people are being kind to it, iris repaired its environmental suit, and it's talking back and snapping at people and behaving so unlike a secunit one can't help but think it sounds like a person. she's already in an extremely distressing situation, and her life is in the hands of crazy people who treat their bot-human construct like it's just some other guy. i do not feel any genuine sympathy for her, but just imagine what that must feel like. i'd be silently losing my mind.

#the murderbot diaries #tmd #robin rambles #its so funny. its so goddamn funny #murderbot doesnt even have to bother entertaining her constant dehumanizing views because its surrounded by humans that wont let that stand #and its also too busy saving everyones lives to give a shit #system collapse #murderbot

[justaz]

visiting nobles/lords/royals quickly notice that merlin has arthur’s ear and that arthur values merlin’s opinion above all others. when they’re having trouble convincing arthur to go along w their plan or sign their Important Document, they go to merlin to try and convince him to convince arthur. merlin knows what they’re doing. merlin does not want to push arthur one way or another, he wants arthur to make his own choices and lead his people as he sees fit. merlin satisfies both of their needs by seeming apologetic that he can’t convince arthur of this but maybe they can and gives them “tips and tricks” on how to soften arthur up to agreeing to the plan.

its all bullshit.

so far he’s convinced a princess (looking for marriage) that arthur loves frogs and pranks so she filled his chambers with a bunch of toads (arthur is terrified of frogs), a lord (was “wronged” by another lord and wanted a portion of his land) that arthur is a fan of the arts, particularly music, and he ended up breaking into song and dance in front of everyone, and a nobleman (arguing against the repealed magic ban and hoping to bring back uther’s laws) that arthur LOVES potatoes and to just give him one throughout the day whenever he seems him so arthur will associate the nobleman with the joy of receiving his favorite food so he’ll be more inclined to the nobleman’s request (arthur despises potatoes).

#arthur knows what merlin is doing but cant tell his visitors otherwise merlin might get in trouble with them #so arthur plays along #he laughs at the toads #he watches the performance with a kind smile #he takes every potato with a thin smile before tossing it in the pig pens outside #and in the end waits for them to leave before turning to merlin and attempting to admonish him but merlin is too busy laughing his ass off #arthur gives up #besides. its a little funny. #and entertaining when before negotiations and petitions and meetings were so goddamn boring #(and merlin is just absolutely gorgeous when hes laughing at his plans coming to completion. the way his cheeks flush and his eyes twinkle #the way his laugh eventually goes breathless. how sometimes he has to grab onto arthur for support so he doesnt fall down. the way the su-) #ahem. anyways. #bbc merlin #merthur #merlin emrys #arthur pendragon

[minzart]

Can't belive annabel just gave Lenore her number after the divorce

#nevermore webtoon #I AM SO HERE FOR THIS. THE CUSTODY BATTLE OVER MORELLA WAS SO FUNNY #not prospero in the goddamn autopilot just giving his jet without questioning bro was not there today. he trusts the bestie too much #nevermore webtoon spoilers #nevermore #nevermore spoilers

[khytal]

wow would you look at that…another dead body

#khyt.edit #i think it’s really funny that megure’s like ‘GODDAMN IT KOGORO THERE’S A DEAD BODY AND YOU’RE HERE TOO. AGAIN.’ #khyt.aaposting #khyt.detcoposting

[janewayintersection]

i know i've posted about fshep lifting kaidan like a sack of flour throughout the trilogy, but i think the best part is that kaidan has also canonically lifted fshep like a sack of flour. like these two can rag doll each other across the room. bonus points if shep is a biotic because then that means they can both physically and biotically rag doll each other across the room.

#mass effect #shenko #fshenko #kaidan alenko #its EQUALITY. #when i saw kaidan lift fshep like a sack of flour in their me3 romance scene i lost my goddamn mind its too funny #couples who could flick each other across the room #he had to make up for the other times fshep has carried his ass #something something wrex saying who would win in a fight. a good question.

[sergle]

are you still thinking of getting a second dog?

ACTIVELY?????? god, no-- I was seriously considering that black dog because she was so beautiful, but I'm not looking to start the Dog Process anew just yet. Hugo is plenty, and he's only just grown up!!

Nebulously, in The Future, I'm still holding onto the idea tho! a friend of ours recently got a puppy (smaller breed than Hugo, one of those aerodynamic herding mixes), so Hugo got to spend the day with her when they came around, and it v much confirms my pre-held belief that he is very careful!! and perfectly capable of watching a puppy. of course, I already kinda knew that, because he's never had trouble with smaller creatures before.

#is this an excuse for me to re-post some pics of him? YES. #Hugo #sergle's pets #sergle answers #the picture of him with my brother's girl where she's putting FULL body weight on him to use him as a couch still makes me cackle #I know the photos would be a lot cuter with the faces visible but there is no goddamn way I'm posting pictures of my nieces #with their whole faces showing and everything #edit: I just thought of how funny it would be if I blacked out the faces of the baby chicks too LMAO #gotta protect their identities you see.

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Ngl every time I try to reblog a post only to find i can't cause im blocked i deadass feel like Miles here i swear

#ME TOO MILES ME TOO #NGL this started happening a lot more after I started talking about Hobie and black women #just saying #spiderman #atsv #spider man #marvel #across the spiderverse #miles morales #jessica drew #spider woman #spiderwoman #rsd is a bitch #but its funny every time it happens cause it's like are you mad at my takes or doi just talk too goddamn much

[lesbianlotties]

appreciation post for Simone Kessell's facial expressions in this episode

#this was way too funny she was so concerned 😭 also losing her goddamn mind 😭 #and in case i haven't mentioned it today i'm literally in love with her i couldn't be gayer for her if i tried #yellowjackets #lottie matthews #simone kessell

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

sorry im coping with aus again oopsie daisy. anyway here's my take on a fantasy au

it all started with me rewatching the D&D movie and thinking "hm. what (broad) classes would the neighbors have?"

and after much thinking i came to the conclusion: Barnaby = Bard / Eddie = Paladin / Sally = Sorcerer / Julie = fighter / Frank = monk / Howdy = Artificer / Poppy = Healer / Wally = 'Wizard'

those seem fitting! BUT i don't like restrictions or rules so in this very light worldbuilding for a casual (strongly glaring at myself here) CASUAL au, it's only dnd-esque. not actually dnd yk yk

in my head, they're not technically puppets for this au. they're flesh and blood, they've got bones, etc. they're actual Creatures, though they still look like Them! Julie's still pink w/ candy-corn-horns! Frank is still a gray tube! Barnaby is a big blue dog! they're just... not puppets. it's the same for the other beings in this fantasy world - they all keep the style, but they're all flesh n' blood if that makes sense. a cartoony fantasy world

so they have their little found family adventuring group titled, of course, The Neighborhood. because when they were first forming, Wally went "oh! are we a neighborhood? i've always wanted neighbors!" and it Stuck. so they all lovingly refer to each other as neighbors, even though the closest they get to being actual neighbors is pitching their tents next to each other & staying at an Inn in neighboring rooms

like your classic group of adventurers, they're almost constantly on the move. the longest they stay in one place is a couple of months - the rest of the time they're wandering! they take quests, get roped into general Shenanigans, etc. they adventure! and get into a lot of battles of varying severity

so Barnaby is still kiiiiind of a bard? best i can describe him is jack-of-all-trades moral support! he provides battle music, keeps the mood light, and stands off to the side to offer quips and tips. he prefers not to fight, and only Gets Involved when the others need Backup. even then, he usually takes the role of defending his neighbors. he has a good eye for whether or not physical support is needed - he never needs to be asked when there's a legitimate need for him! unless he's thoroughly distracted from the goings-on. he does have magic, but it's more for show / defense-based

Eddie's still pretty classically a paladin. healing powers, armor, there to be on the front lines and Protect! the group's sword and shield! he technically serves a god but he forgot who <3 he just makes the occasional general offering and mumbles some vague prayer. he's super friendly! super helpful! super willing to dive into the line of fire! Will disregard his own safety without a second thought! his magic is pretty much restricted to healing, and it's weak healing at that (maybe because he can't properly serve his god...), so it's mostly good for quick mid-battle heals and little wounds. temporary fixes!

Sally has innate fire/light magic, and she's very showy with it! she puts Flair and Pizazz into all of her casts and is very dramatic on the battlefield - she manages to turn her fights into a performance. She tag-teams keeping the Neighborhood entertained with Barnaby. he handles the humor/lightheartedness, she handles the escapism/encouragement. she writes scripts & stories in her off-time, and often reads them (or spins a new one) after dinner. when they have weeks / month breaks in one spot, sometimes she'll recruit local thespians to create a play

Frank is all about that hand-to-hand combat babey! he wants to feel bones break under his fists! he wants those split knuckles! he very often starts fights, and even more often finishes them - what he lacks in raw power he makes up for in vicious tenacity. he just Keeps On Going! he seconds as the group's Knowledge Guy. while his hobby is studying insects, he also catalogues/studies monsters and enemies and terrain so that the Neighborhood can always be prepared. the only time he stays out of fights is when he's researching or note-taking. he tries to micromanage the battle from afar anyway

Julie is like... put a druid, a fighter, and a barbarian in a blender. she's got a big sword! she's got seemingly endless energy in battle! she can talk to plants, especially flowers! her flora magic is very minor, so it's not like she's making giant roots burst out of the ground and strangle people. but plants can give her information, and if she asks nicely and they feel like it, sometimes they'll help her out. in battle she's a force to be reckoned with! nothing will stop her and her sword! she's usually the second (closely following Frank, with Eddie hot on her heels) Neighbor charging into battle - but she's the one with the stellar war cry! & where Sally and Barnaby tend to the Neighborhood's emotional wellbeing & entertainment, Julie keeps things fresh with Physical Activities during their downtime!

Poppy is a powerful healer! she draws on an individual's energy (often taps into her own as well) to convert it into healing power. it's draining but it's damn good healing! she also takes the role of the Neighborhood's cook (the others still like to help, especially Frank who is essentially her sous-chef) and makes sure they're all healthy. she hangs back during battles, waiting to (and hoping that she doesn't have to) heal a wounded Neighbor. if one of them is badly hit, she forces herself to run into battle and drag them to safety before working on their injury. she has a tiny bit of illusion magic, which she'll cast from afar to assist her Neighbors. she tries not to use it outside of emergencies - it takes a lot of energy, which she tries to conserve just in case.

Howdy has Zero Magic! none! four hands and none of them are magical! however, he's a damn good inventor & a whiz at potion making. he can Use magical items like there's no tomorrow - he just can't wield it himself. he supplies the group with potions, helpful items, all sorts of goodies - given that they can trade for it with anything he'd accept in-canon. the only exception is when they're mid-battle - he hands stuff out when needed without haggle. he supplies the group with their cash when they're not getting it from looting/quests - he has a magic backpack that can unfold into a fully-stocked merchant stall! he sells at towns, on the road, anywhere he can! In battle he hangs back with Poppy and, yes, supplies items, but he also uses ranged attacks - magical weapons that cast for him, magic 'bombs', that sort of thing! but there's a little secret - he's the Neighborhood's secret weapon. he invented fantasy guns! four magic revolvers that, when the 'second safety' is turned off, multiply into a giant clusterfuck of guns (with ammo ranging from magic 'bullets' to essentially rocket launchers). unfortunately he can only use this setting once & for a limited time before the guns overload & have to be manually repaired. so he either uses them off of the first safety (i.e, they're 'normal'), or not at all. you know shit is Really hitting the fan when he joins a fight

and Wally! Wally Wally Wally... you may have noticed that i put his class 'wizard' in quotes. that's because he says he's a wizard, but he's not! he just says he's one due to the automatic stigma and fear of what he really is - a Warlock! his patron is Home, an eldritch horror that many would classify as a demon. they have a very special, codependent pact that neither of them can live without - Wally wears their 'seal' as a house-shaped pendant on a choker (necklace) hidden under his clothes. Home is extraordinarily powerful, but Wally barely taps into that power. he has a grimoire that Home inscribed with a bunch of sigils that convert into spells when drawn & then cast in the air. the only other powers he uses are seeing-in-the-dark, seeing-magic, and opening teleportation doors! Wally can't sleep, but he can doze - though he's never fully unaware of his surroundings (its kind of like how dolphins only sleep with one half of their brain). he still eats with his eyes, which both feeds him & acts as a form of providing daily energy to Home, since Home can't exactly consume souls every day. If Wally uses too much magic, he has to rest inside of Home's house-form, which is the only time he actually fully sleeps. no one knows about Home, or that Wally is lying about his wizard status.

Home is a lovecraftian being with three forms. the first is the lowest power level - a cute one-room house with Eyes! i.e: Home Classic! Wally's pendant unfolds into it, and it's the main way Wally and Home physically interact & communicate. the second is possession - if Wally explicitly allows it, Home can completely take over his body and kind of 'tuck him away' to have a nice deep nap while Home takes the reins (Home can technically force this, but it's very difficult and would not go over well w/ Wally - it would also be an unstable possession). the third is Home's true form - a massive shadowy eldritch monster made of writhing darkness and nightmares that no one in their right mind would look at, let alone fight. Home has very complicated feelings about Wally & the Neighborhood. they are also, quite literally, Wally's heart - which is part of their pact.

i have some scene ideas & little Plot Concepts (most notably the times the Neighborhood learns two Very Big Secrets about Wally, one of which being the warlock/Home reveal).

but yeah that's moooostly it. basic stuff yk, not very in depth! just fun things to feed my maladaptive daydreaming & escapism

#warlock-masquerading-as-a-wizard wally is fun #cause youve got this funny little guy! in his little wizard outfit and his staff and classic wizard eccentricities! #but he has a lovecraftian horror curled up in his chest excited for its next opportunity to consume souls #home when making wally's body: ah fuck how do people eat again??? with their eyes right??? that sounds right... thats how i eat... #home a week later: shitshitshit their MOUTHS they eat with this Mouths goddamn it.... too late to fix it now #cut to wally internally panicking while watching other people drink/eat normally #hm i Realized that like... half the Neighborhood more often than not doesn't outright fight #poppy hangs back. howdy hangs back. barnaby rarely joins. frank is often busy researching #and then you've got eddie & julie going full-tilt nonstop absolutely mowing down enemies like there's no tomorrow. sword besties <3 #wally and Sally casting from the middle ground... #wh fantasy au #maybe the howdy enthusiast in me is jumping out lately but hes soooo good in this au i swear #he's out here bargaining over a potion with his own neighbor mid-battle #bc he Will be funny about it when the stakes aren't high #forcing them to go through transactions even though he'd give the goods to em anyway #him vibing with poppy & barnaby while explosions go off in the background #and then when shit hits the fan he gets to be a Certified Badass and whips out the big guns with the cockiest grin you've ever seen #hes fun. i love him. #they're all fun. i love them. #home & wally make me especially Ough in this au. their relationship is so messy and you literally cannot have one without the other

[operationslipperypuppet]

Eursulon’s fumble at attempting to explain to Silver who (or what) is having sex in the bathroom is so goddamn funny because it arguably would have been better for Suvi if he thought she was having sex with Ame. Iconic.

#I’m dying this was too goddamn funny #eursulon - high charisma. low social skills #worlds beyond number #worlds beyond number spoilers #eursulon toma #the wizard the witch and the wild one #wwwo #wwwo spoilers #wbn

[lemongogo]

tried 2 heal duke ravengard by throwing a potion @ him but it fucking bludgeoned the guy and wyll left my party FOREVERR .?

#i cnt do anything right in this goddamned game #I JFSNAHHAJAJAHAGAGACA #LIKW WHEN IT WAS HIS TURN I KEPT LOOKING ANRD THE MAP FOR HIM I WAS LIKE HUHHH #BC IT DIDNT EVEN SAY LIKE ‘you betrayed wyll’ OR ANYTHING HE JUST LEFTT #so funny too bc i was recording his cutscene right before w mizora n its like two mins of me scrolling #where did u go darling . #bro took the sub n left us all 2 die ig HELPPDH #wyll #bg3

[aziraphalalala]

We screech and we laugh and we make gifs. But have you considered how utterly excruciating it is to realise that the one person you trusted to have your back, doesn't? That in the end, for whatever reason, they did not choose you?

If they ever want to be together, an apology dance is so far from being enough it's heartbreaking. Somehow, they need to process their emotions. They need to re-establish a trust that's been broken. They need to convince one another that, given another choice, they would put Us first.

#are you in pain? #are you? #because i am #the divorce scene hurts so much because we've all been there #for some reason we weren't chosen by someone we cared about #and it's one of the most painful things in existence #can you tell I'm going through something similar in my own life right now? #haha it's so sad it's not even funny #this fucking show #hits too close to home #good omens #goddamn idiot supernatural beings i will smite both of them #ineffable idiots #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #ineffable divorce #poor crowley

[live-laugh-love-mitski]

so i’m gonna assume i’m not the only one who thinks ht’s medic and spy are absolutely enamored with one another

i once saw someone a youtube comment saying they’re eloping and it’s never not been on my mind when i think of them

insufferable about these old men

#magnificent nine #medicspy #gentle surgery #call for the medicspy and/or magnificent nine fans out there #accidental queercoding #question mark #love them anyway #theyre so important to me #i keep so many screenshots of them its not even funny #and i have so much more #the lighting is so dim goddamn #sorry about that #unhealthily obsessed with this entire series #even ​though i kinda lost the plot after his last two videos #too many tags wtf #im so sick in the head for them

[chrrywvea]

ice having to listen to yet another admiral yelling about some shit mav did:

30 ways to... discipline your husband (but not really we all know that......👀)

#kazansky speaking #YOUR LITTLE SHIT OF A HUSB- #found this pic on google and immediately had to think about it #top gun #top gun maverick #crack #i don't even know if this is funny but it gets funnier the more i look at it #tom iceman kazansky #pete maverick mitchell #icemav #ft. rooster probably hiding under a table become he knows the kazansky-disappointment-stare is deadly #but not for mav! yet #yes i know couples in the military would prob be conflict of interest thank you shush i am enjoying this more than i should #just imagine #*sighs* #can we ignore that grammatic error there i meant BECAUSE #goddamn #i'm too lazy to delete that whole tag

[sieglinde-freud]

WHERE WERE THE AWAKENING SECOND GEN ON JULY 21ST 2023

#fe13 #fe awakening #fire emblem #fe shitpost #not tagging these mfs goddamn anyways #long tag ramble incoming btw #this is a lie bc owain pleaded all of them to go barbenheimer with him #but still #also yes there is a difference between being in between barbie and oppenheimer and being at barbenheimer #barbenheimer is its own concept #anyways i think cynthia is the type of person to be like 'yeah barbie isnt really my thing but i'll go with you' and then she cries the most #yarne is too scared of oppenheimer but he thinks the memes are funny #the morgans are FUNDAMENTALLY DIFFERENT and as much as fmorgan likes barbie shes such an oppenheimer girl. crush on florence pugh i know it #kjelle is not up for debate btw. thinks oppenheimer is cool but shes literally feminism the unit #sat for florence pugh tho #inigo has I'm Just Ken on repeat and it will be number one on his spotify wrapped #bradys thinks saying hes an oppenheimer guy will save his masculinity but it didnt matter bc he cried at the first scene of barbie #no one knows why. it was of girls smashing baby dolls on rocks. #know that im looking at them though.. tbh they all cried at barbie its just a matter of when #u can tell me im wrong if you so wish but i dont care and im not listening #after this they went out for the barbie burger king meal and got sick