#but have you considered I hate my job?

[cheadarchesse]

considering a return to interpreting, but everything requires a certification (which is understandable) but I can't find any resources that tell me how much trouble I'm in if I haven't been practicing my interpreting for a while

#look I know this is probably a bad idea #I know the itp got me messed up #but have you considered I hate my job? #and I could hate my job at twice the rate and less damage on my body #interpreting #asl #eipa #if anyone wants to chat with me about this I'd appreciate it #cheadar sauce

[bumblebree1903]

Can someone explain to me why Gerry being happy and his badly dyed hair not being mentioned means he can’t be goth? I feel like there’s more depth to the reasons, I just keep seeing “he’s happy so he’s not goth”. I’m genuinely curious I want to hear the variety of reasons bc I personally LOVE happy goth characters.

#did abby sciuto teach you nothing? #she was so happy and bubbly and still very goth #i’m not saying something’s not up #i refuse to believe my two favourite arsonist are just like what are the horrors #gigi was hella sus with the my grandson can’t help you line #but they can be happy (or HAPPIER at least) and maintain their TMA aesthetics #have you every considered maybe gerry’s dye job isn’t ass because gigi helps him? #i love people’s non-goth art of him of course #but i hate seeing post saying he can’t be goth because he’s happy #give me OTHER reasons he’s not goth #the magnus protocol #tma #tmagp #tmp #the magnus pod #the magnus archives #gerry keay #tma gerry #tma gerard keay #tma gertrude #gertrude robinson #gerard keay

[the-casbah-way]

forgive the brief jesus chris superstar rant but. there is a very important difference between the pharisees being villains and the pharisees being antagonists. they're technically antagonists because they're actively working against the interests of our protagonist, but i don't believe they should ever be played as villains. they're not evil or bad or wrong. they're terrified just like literally everyone else in the show is, and their actions are completely justified. to me that's the entire point of the musical. it's not about christianity; it's about the impact the roman empire's brutal and violent imperialism had on everyone on all levels. including jesus and judas, but also including the pharisees, and even herod and pilate. when a powerful coloniser forces their presence on innocent people they are the only winners. everyone else suffers, even the puppet kings and high priests who look like they're reaping some sort of benefit from it all. that's roman propaganda. the romans kept native rulers like herod and caiaphas in power to maintain the illusion of provincial autonomy, and keep populations appeased and therefore under control. everyone in the show is acting out of fear of the romans. the one roman character we do see (pilate) is acting out of fear of his own emperor. it makes no sense to cast the pharisees as two dimensional Bad Guys, especially when the same productions that do that usually offer a sympathetic portrayal of pilate. it would be so easy to stage and direct a production in a way that makes it obvious that the pharisees are doing what they're doing because they truly have no choice, and not because they're pure evil and want to kill jesus for the sake of it. it's not only an antisemitic trope but also undermines a really important theme of the musical. if you can see the humanity in the violent roman governor installed forcefully on conquered land then you can afford some humanity for the pharisees too. they are victims of pilate and victims of rome just like everyone else

#THEY ARE NOT ALLIES OF PILATE. they have a common interest yes. ie avoiding punishment from rome #but the pharisees have no choice but to go to pilate. they have no real power. because like i said. they are puppet rulers #i am just tired of seeing the pharisees as villains #IF YOU WANT A VILLAIN (idk why you need to have one i don't think this show is about that) IT SHOULD BE FUCKING PILATE. AND NO ONE ELSE #THE PHARISEES ARE NOT VILLAINS. THEY ARE NOT EVIL. THEY ARE VICTIMS. #i am tired of seeing them costumed or directed in a way that makes them stereotypical Bad Guys #the 2k version of jcs is my favourite but i HATE how it portrays the pharisees at times especially annas #when annas pushes judas to the floor for literally no reason it's like. you are going out of your way to make these guys seem evil #sucks because the actor from 2k is the best annas i've ever seen in terms of presence and voice #and the actor who plays caiaphas in that film does a really good job at showing fear instead of pure anger and evil #but it's generally all still done in a way that makes the priests seem evil. in my opinion #and yes i called pilate violent. he's not in A Lot of productions but. the real pilate was an extremely brutal governor #and there's a very good reason for portraying him as such. especially when you consider the themes i mentioned here #jesus christ superstar #jcs #ask to tag

[harlequinfrog]

My DnD group's DM is collaborating with the players on worldbuilding and I'm the only one playing a gnome so she gave me the go-ahead to make up whatever the hell I want as long as it doesn't affect gameplay too much. MY CITY NOW

#i decided all gnomes have tails and long sideburns (but not beards) #my character Meena shaves hers bc she's essentially nouveau riche and growing them out is considered old fashioned and provincial #and now i'm writing an essay about the cultural importance of sideburn styles in gnome communities #they start growing during puberty and having full sideburns is considered a sign of adulthood/maturity #nonbinary people traditionally had particular cultural niches and would style their facial hair according to their job/gender #but traditionally girls in her home region would wear them long and tied or braided in front #and when they got engaged they'd wear them pulled back with either end of a ribbon tied to each 'tail' #married gnome women have special jewelry for the same purpose but older women usually just tie theirs back like a ponytail #and the jewelry is just for show #men usually keep theirs fairly short #the tail thing is less interesting i just wanted Meena to have one bc i think it looks cool #i tried rearranging some of the tags to make it easier to read but they got scrambled even worse 😭 #tumblr mobile i hate you. one thousand laser sword attack

[sailfish-serum]

I hope everyone who baby talks autistic people dies violently.

#My manager talks to me like i'm a toddler and it drives me nuts #all day it was slow speech and 'make sure you remember #losing my mind #i am a grown man with a full time job and i'm considered one of the best employees in the building as well as being the youngest specialist #or as my coworker describes i have almost everything pointing away from my favour #im a young blonde chubby autistic queer girl thing #i hate everything right now pahahhaa

[jojotichakorn]

every time i research possibilities for me moving abroad, i want to fall down a flight of stairs or smash my head against the pavement. i'm going to transport back in time and tell myself to get a degree in something useful, because at this point i'm not even joking when i say the four years i've spent at uni have affected me in no positive ways whatsoever.

#linguistics is so wide and niche that none of it can actually be applied anywhere #like all i have are low-paying translation jobs HERE #skilled labour for moving abroad? no sorry all the knowledge i've accumulated over the four year period has not made me skilled in anything #i've started considering getting a postgrad degree in something else but even that is insanely restricted because #and idk if you got this point already #but my bachelors degree is fucking useless and doesnt apply to basically anything #i fucking hate my life #why do i have to claw my way through it just to be safe #archer's unrelated

[bitegore]

ao3: runs a donation drive

random people on the internet i've never heard of and who definitely do not provide a free service i use regularly: oh my god everyone who donated to ao3 owes me money, I deserve it more than the [libel] [bullshit fearmongering] [misuse of legal term] website!!!! these gross cumbrain fandom losers are taking money away from me personally!

#i don't donate to ao3 most of the time anyway because i don't have the spare cash to for the most part #i do not have a job #but like lmao every time i see one of those posts #that's like 'oh my god ao3 made money because people like the service it provides. i am a random blogger online' #'how dare you donate to the Ch*ld R*pe *ncest website and not to me. a stranger who you don't know but who hates you personally' #i go 'okay so now i want to take any money i woulda maybe considered giving to you and give it to ao3 instead' #at least ao3 isn't running around pretending that donating to individuals and donating to organizations that provide services are the same #i have some people id donate money to because i'd rather my money go to people wholl be able to appreciate it than services who will get #more from others than just me. but like. crucially their posts are like 'if you like what i do' #and not 'i am clearly on par with the website of fiction you read when you're bored so you owe me money'

[twistedappletree]

i’ve been at the emergency vet for 3hrs and it’s a 1hr drive here and back and it’s 5am now and i’m so fucking tired omfg there’s no way i’m gonna be able to sleep for work today 😭

#i hate that my town doesn’t have a goddamn ER vet #literally no access to a nearby ER vet is actually why one of my past dogs died #bc the hour long drive was too long for him even tho i sped like a bat out of hell #thankfully my baby’s getting seen but ffffffff #i couldn’t have even go a to her reg vet anyway #bc they’re only open when working class people are at their jobs lmao #like the only way you can get fucking vet care during the day #is you’re retired and have NOTHING to do ever and don’t have to worry about fucking anything #tf kind of hours are 11AM TO 2PM FUCK OFF #😒😒😒 #anyway #$600 for everything which actually isn’t that bad considering #my reg vet would’ve been more expensive actually #just wish priya’s insurance didn’t have a wait period otherwise it would’ve been way less #but i had to bring her immediately my poor girl was vomiting and had bloody stool and was so lethargic 😭 #apple babble 🍎 #non fandom

[coldflasher]

me seeing a job listing for a job in romance publishing, which is basically my dream job, with a salary that's higher than my current salary, advertised as remote, and that i'd probably have a solid shot at getting due to my current level of work experience: 👀

me clicking on it and seeing, as i knew it would be, because every job in my industry is, that it's in fucking london, and "remote" actually means "you have to come into the office in central london at least two days a week even though literally every part of this job could be done from home, making it completely inaccessible unless you want to uproot your whole life, move halfway across the country and live in a shoe cupboard*:

#fuck this fucking industry i swear to god #EVERY PUBLISHING JOB IS IN LONDON #i basically have the only vaguely publishing-adjacent job on my side of the country. and i'm stuck here because i have no other options #my entire support system is here and i would SUFFER in london bc i hate cities. #not to mention that property in london is stupidly expensive #i mean property is stupidly expensive everywhere #but like. what gets me a 2 bed house in the north probably wouldn't even buy me a parking space in central london #i don't even actually hate my job you know. believe it or not considering how much i moan about it. like it's fine #but every now and then i see an opportunity that makes me realize how much cooler and more interesting jobs are out there that i'd actually #be passionate about. and because the industry i'm interested in is so rigid and. if we're being honest. classist #any of these opportunities are completely off-limits #so fuck me i guess

[cosmogenous]

wow...

[memorys-skyscraper]

the scene in yakuza 5 where shinada and milky dance on the roof talking about how they should run away and start over in a new town with new jobs and new lives, only for milky to abruptly stop and let shinada go when she gets called back downstairs to work, while shinada is sent stumbling by suddenly being let go until he too comes to a stop, burns a hole in my brain

#rambles #yakuza #yakuza liveblogging #like man. MAN. that shit hits home #milky saying 'i wanna be a teacher this time- that was my dream as a kid!' #and shinada replying 'you can! nothings stopping you! you can start over!' with a tone that borders on hysterical #he's so desperate to believe it's possible because in that moment he can see it- he sees his way out #for a moment he's blind to all the things that have kept him from doing exactly what he's proposing every other time he's considered it #hes trapped in a glass house- he can see freedom but knows he cant reach it. but for a moment he lets himself forget the glass is there #but milky doesnt. she thinks hes being cute and plays along but as soon as she lets him go the music cuts and the moment is gone. #reality comes crashing back down- they're not going anywhere. #and i mean. idk if this is a common/universal experience but ive had many a late night where ive done exactly the same thing #fantasized about quitting my job/going back to school/finding some means of self employment/moving somewhere totally new #and ive had those fleeting moments where i could see it- i could see how i could make it work #or i could see that there's nothing *physically* stopping me from doing any of those things #and if i could just sum up enough courage i could do anything i wanted with my life #but then i wake up the next day and that vision is gone. #i cant see outside the glass house anymore- i can only see the reflection of the inside. #tl;dr i should revisit y5- the writers were cooking and i didnt take enough time to savor it #(esp not the shinada section bc i hated his combat style lol)

[hella1975]

im being so serious besties i am not cut out for academia

#like yes i know ive had a very uniquely shit experience in doing a degree i actively not only hate but also am BAD AT #but also i just. cannot hack it #'but hella you go mental and pessimistic every single exam period' i know that but. im right also #like the other day i said to my mum how much ive just been enjoying my job recently #and how huge a deal that is bc i HATE my hometown and ive never ever considered my time here as possibly being good #and my 20s will hopefully be a lot of travelling but in between that to save easier im gonna live at home #so i dont have to worry about rent so alas that means when im saving up for my next trip I WILL BE IN MY HOMETOWN #and as excited as i am for my twenties that is one huge downside to me but i was really cheerfully saying to my mum #that literally for the first time ever ive considered it might not be too bad bc lately i have just enjoyed my job #like i enjoy the people and the work and the lifestyle of it and while it's never gonna be ideal as a means to an end it's actually good #and instead of focussing on that she went OFF on one about how she wants me to stay in education and keep getting qualifications #and she was like 'you could do an english degree you've always wanted to do english or how about open university-' #and i was just sat there blinking at her like girl.... no #like i could FEEL myself shutting down like the terror of having to return to this environment when ive got my sight so set #on that 'one more year and im done one more year and im done' mindset like that has been the only thing getting my through #is that im halfway through the course now so im closer to the other end than i am the beginning and if i can just push through #ill be free from it for the rest of my life. so the thought of immediately returning to academia even for a subject i adore? i felt ILL #and my mum apologised the next day without me even having to say anything bc she realised she kinda bulldozed me there #but i just know whether it's the adhd or ive actually been traumatised by this econ degree #(<- and im being serious there like ik 'traumatised' is a big loaded word but idk what else to use #and this degree has done so so much damage to me like it has convinced me that i am fundamentally a stupid person #to the point i refuse to add up bills when with friends or do answer any sort of intellectual question even if i KNOW i know the answer #bc ive just gone so so long of being bad at the only subject im studying like just SURROUNDED by it and being bad at it relentlessly #and i dont think people realise how damaging it is to very simply just... feel stupid all the time. but oh my god i used to be so confident #and bright and now i wont even do basic addition in front of people) #i really truly dont think i can do this again in any capacity. like the constant exams and studying and assignments #i just cant do it. maybe i just need a year or two away from it after this degree but my goddddd rn i cant see it #yes it's exam time for me can u tell. it always makes me existential and on the verge of vomiting at any given moment #i hate it here i hate it here i hate it here i dont care about iterated deletion of strictly dominated strategies shut the fuck up #hella goes to uni

[pezpenser205]

3am monday morning mood

#insert garfield i hate mondays joke here #op #........................................................................................................................................... #........................................................................................................................ #...................................................................................................................... #....................................................................................................................... #........................................................... #............................................................ #sui mention tw if you read further for some odd reason #was highkey wanting to change my mind before the date came but now im not so sure thats gonna happen #i dont have a lot of time #2 days is not enough to get a job or change my mind so i dont even know what im gonna do #i feel like im dreaming all the time #'i dont know what im gonna do' is for sure a lie though i damn well know come on now #its simple a + b = c math #(im a waste of resources) + (i dont even like being here and am not a person anymore) = (i shouldnt be here) #i think my family will get over it like none of them even talk to me anymore (not that i make it easy but still) #i have nothing that somebody else cant have or do better than me its not that big of a deal. #like literally i cant fucking comprehend what anyone would like about me anymore #everything bad about me so clearly outweighs the 1/10 times i can be funny or dependable or considerate. #im just taking advantage of others' compassion at this point #when i say 'i am not a person' i mean that with 100% sincerity #i get surprised and scared when people talk to me and have no concept of self and no real hobbies. im just empty im not even angry anymore #im beyond unhinged tbh i have zero self awareness and feel like im the only person like me that exists and im rambling- #-and oversharing all the time and talking over others because i fail to even really understand or consider what theyre saying anymore #-and simultaneously i feel too unremarkable to be worthy of life #i feel like im playing my entire life in VR like nobody and nothing here is real. none of you are even real. #this feels the same as typing in a word document i just always feel alone no matter who im talking to or what im doing #i feel like the only real person in the world and the only one that shouldnt be here #i cant even bring myself to feel scared of death. im just. nothing. even when im crying i dont feel anything at all

[bravevolunteer]

michael is pretty but in the feral sleep deprived kind of way. he's pretty like a man who is essentially a sopping wet cat in the rain. and yes i DO think that should be acknowledged.

#was talking about this last night and it's just... it is so funny to me how much michael HATES the fact that he looks like william #but i hate to break it to you buddy the general consensus is that your dad is pretty hot . your father pulls . FHGFHJKLDF #like. there's a lot i could get into about how michael doesn't necessarily hate the way he looks on a surface level its this association #that really bothers him but . that also means he doesn't really process this LMAO #like how attractive he is is NOT whats plaguing his mind he's gotta get past the self destructiveness and sexuality crisis and the fact tha #anyone desiring him at ALL beyond superficiality resets his factory settings . but it's kind of hilarious HFGHFF #michael who knows he has that rebellious loner appeal and likes the choices he made like his hair or piercings but cannot STAND looking at #himself a lot of the time.. another extension of the whiplash of thinking he's monstrous but being loved anyway #this post keeps bouncing back and forth between funny and depressing my fault but have you considered It Kind Of Is HFGHFJKDF #⁂ ･ﾟ: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc

[ronanlynchbf]

hell day today and i'm only two hours into my EIGHT HOUR SHIFT

#9 to 5 by dolly parton starts playing in the background.. #literally had to open up shop alone 2day and also was entirely alone for the first 45 min. of my shift so that was already a negative start #to the day + i heard that i can't have my break later than two thirty which is very bad for me bc 1) there'll be a lot of ppl all around me #when i'm eating which i already dislike and 2) like 85% of ppl taking their break around that time are VERY noisy eaters so even worse and #then 3) it'll be really loud in the room as well bc everyone's talking loudly and eating and the cutlery's clanging against plates and such #and also some ppl have actual full-blown arguments with each other in the break room bc half the ppl here hate each other's guts so more #negatives to the day and then on top of that we've had sooooo many annoying customers already today who r just. intent on making u stressed #out and upset and literally will tell u to your face to 'do your job better' like bro...i can easily tell you haven't worked in retail.... #also someone hung their clothes on the rack outside the fitting rooms which is where u hang ur clothes when you're DONE fitting them & don' #want them bc they don't fit or don't sit right or u just don't rlly like them after all so if clothes are hanging there we the ppl working #there WILL take them and hang them back in their original places what did u expect to happen?? anyway someone hung the clothes they had #tried on already and did want there and i reached out to take them bc like. that's what we do here..we hang the clothes on the 'discard #rack' back in the store bc else the rack gets stuffed and the woman literally grabbed my arm and said 'those are mine what do u think you'r #doing' LIKE?????? GIRL THE RACK'S THERE FOR A REASONNNN ofc i'm going to assume u don't want them anymore if they're hanging there that's #why it's called the DISCARD rack....also how am i to know those specific clothes are yours HONESTLYYYYYY STFU AND GET OFF ME #ALSO some dude was like (to his child but like. looking at me while he said it.) 'this guy needs a haircut doesn't he' bc my hair is kinda #long and apparently i passed today. LIKE 1st of all kind of a rude thing to say to a stranger innit 2nd of all setting a great example to #your child there just casually commenting on other ppl's looks like that👍 3rd of all jokes on you you wouldn't consider me a guy if #you Knew most likely. thanks for that little zing of glee much obliged <3 but also man just piss off will you. 4th of all my hair isn't eve #that long....like the ends of it are just shy of my shoulders wdym LONG if u knew the long-haired guys i know you'd faint. #anyway. great start of the day. i still have six more hours to go 🥴 #ALSO no surprise this always happens but my legs already hurt SOOOOOOOO BADDDDDD :((((((((((( #r.txt

[rustinged]

on what account do your base your idea of yourself on? do you base it on your past actions, thoughts, ideas? how far back? do you account for how you have changed? do you base it on what you are doing in your day to day? I force myself to be brave. does that mean I am brave? am I simply feigning the personality of bravery? or is that what a brave person is to begin with? what is a brave person? say your current actions conflict past actions, but you feel your current actions (positive, negative, or neutral) don’t reflect you. what is “you” ? how are you defining you? for how long can you continue with your current actions before your past actions become irrelevant?

#example: you have to get up early everyday for your job/school/etc but you like to sleep in. you consider yourself a nocturnal person #but it’s hard for your body to keep up with staying up late so you begin waking up early consistently - even on the weekends. you naturally #do it and never sleep in anymore #would you still consider yourself a night owl #even though you mentally know that in the past you liked to sleep in - there is no new evidence to back up that you are in fact a night owl #your current actions say you like to wake up early #i feel like it always boils down to the question of: are you your actions or your thoughts #am i brave because I carry out brave actions? I am a cowardice at heart.. but none of my actions say that. but do they have to? #am I a brave cowardice then? shaking as I reach every goal #is it possibly to exist as both? should it be possible to only exist as one? #drives me nuts to think about this kinda stuff. it’s why I hate filling out that mbti test #am I answering these questions based off of past actions that I may or may not identify with anymore if I don’t have a recent example? #if I don’t go out how can I answer social questions? if I do go out because I didn’t leave my house for 2 years and am catching up on all #the social time I missed BUT it still feels out of character for me - how do I answer?? #they ask for my actions I can give them my actions but the lack of asking my feelings and vice versa is what gets to me #I have to end this cause I can seriously go on forever