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violetdisasterzone · 3 months

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it's kind of sad to say but sometimes I think I'm not cut out for fandom. I've always been more of a lurker than a contributor anyway, but even then I feel like I might just be too much of a canon purist to really be part of them. so much of being on the internet is about curating your own experience, but fanon (mis)interpretations/characterizations are so rampant in some spaces, treated as canon to such an extent that some people literally believe they ARE, that they're often hard to avoid completely.

the point of fandom isn't supposed to be nitpicking every little thing for accuracy, obviously. I like talking with people about my favorite things, and seeing how my thoughts and interpretations match up with theirs. I don't expect everyone's experience with whatever media to be the same. but I think a lot of people view canon as something separate, as something they get to play around with and take the parts they like and change what they don't. and that's fine, but I don't really get it, not entirely. I like playing around with hypotheticals and what-ifs and stuff, but to me canon is always going to be superior/unchangeable. and it's even worse when people will try to use canon to explain that their blatantly fanon-based interpretations are, in fact, canon somehow. and it gets even WORSE when it turns into actual discourse, and suddenly people are claiming that not following their fanon interpretation means something about your real-life values.

it's just kind of exhausting sometimes. I love a lot of y'all on here and it can be so fun to be a part of things, even mostly from the sidelines. but sometimes all I want is to close social media forever and reread my novels in peace

#this is something I've had a hard time with for a while tbh #I'm never quite sure how to put it into words but I was v annoyed earlier so here this is #and you may be thinking #'vi it's not that deep just close the app if you want to leave'#which yes. but also can't a person complain a bit!!#I think curating your fandom experience is also kind of hard if you're more of a part-time lurker #than if you have a bunch of mutuals who you regularly talk to outside of post interactions lol #which could definitely be part of my problem. unless it's just a ME problem #I want to know if this is a me problem or if others experience this #but I also don't really want my shitty vent post to be reblogged lmao

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cinna-bunnie · 17 days

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i love black women

#speaking of not beating the beautiful angel allegations!!!!!! ｡⁠:ﾟ⁠(⁠;⁠´⁠∩⁠`⁠;⁠)ﾟ⁠:⁠｡ ♡⁠#(⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠) i went to a black beauty store earlier for more leave in conditioner and the cashier was such an angel #she had a TLC shirt and i complimented it n we started gassing each other up (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) ♡⁠ her edges were so pretty #it was a rly nice time and she called me beautiful and love (⁠✿ ‚‚⌒‿⌒‚‚) i am still so happy i got to talk to her today #i don't ever rly think about how i wear my natural hair out but I'm glad it's appreciated for being worn that way ♡⁠ i love u #only another black person would tell me this and the love i felt in there rly makes me miss living in that town instead #i don't get to talk w black folk as often here ｡⁠:ﾟ⁠(⁠;⁠´⁠∩⁠`⁠;⁠)ﾟ⁠:⁠｡ it's so nice when i get to but augh.. maybe i should move back lol.#it's not far away 🧐 it's just the next town over actually. and u could drive through my town in like ten minutes and not even know you were #in it lol #anyways 🚶🏾‍♀️ I'm feeling myself rn and im hype and that girl was an angel fr i hope she's having a good night rn

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ta-bajna-cerna-okybaca · 5 months

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Now that I finally got to play TWST diasomnia chapter 1 myself, I'm gonna need everyone who said Malleus was a baby throwing a tantrum for no reason to pay me 2000 dollars each

#twst #twisted wonderland #yes it did take me until the second to last day of the new chapter event to finish book 6 what of it #in my defense i had no good leona&jamil cards for chapters 66 and 67‚ i'm glad i managed to do it at all. robe malleus carried the team <3 #anyways! i haven't seen this take in a while but i remember it popping up a lot earlier this year when we got diasomnia on the jp server #as a member of the malleus defense squad i can't bear all this slander and now i have proof it's baseless #his overblot is one of the most justified ones??? what do you mean no reason #He's already established to be constantly left out and lonely because of it #And now he gets hit with the triple whammy of 1) realizing his fellow students' mortality after book 6 #2) learning that his father figure is dying and in one week fucking off to fantasy china to live out his retirement without him #3) his best friend the MC telling him they found a way to un-isekai themself #Maybe he could have weathered one of those‚ but all three at the same time?#Poor guy stood no chance‚ those are hits straight into the trauma #Of course he's gonna have a breakdown! It's not his fault breakdowns in twisted wonderland come with a side of destructive berserking #And to be fair from what i've heard in spoilers all he did was put the whole school to sleep he didn't even destroy all that much #like yes putting everyone to sleep so they can live forever and never leave him is not a healthy reaction #but this is Unhealthy Reactions The School it's not like he's such an outlier in that #leave my boy alone 😭#excuse my ranting i'm just insane about twisted wonderland and malleus specifically

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smimon · 4 months

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Of course it is green

#summary of art #art summary #my art #added convention stickers because i really like how many i made. it was such a fun action #oh dear this year did not start kindly for me #first tailbone contusion and inability to sit for a whole month #then wild cough for three weeks after infection forcing me to go to sleep before 22 and not leaving much time for art #then some other minor nuisances #and holidays with family #all of this must have happened to encourage me to get into esc earlier than usual #giving me just enough time to get familiar with käärijä so that the passion could explode right when i needed it the most #and the rest is history #wow #see you next year 🧡#eyestrain warning

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leatherbookmark · 7 months

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celebrate 🎂 hongjoong

#shrimp gifs #hongjoong #ateez #kpop #i... yeah. don't talk to me about the coloring OR the graininess i realized sth's wrong at the 2nd gif but by that time i was already #on my first hour of editing (initially my idea for this video was different but i had to scrap it due to. you guessed it. graininess and #weird colors) so i was like No I Have To Finish This #i forgot they do light things in this video. ah well #additionally i could have trimmed the third gif earlier but i couldn't just LEAVE OUT hwa's stupid tongue

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something-about-sunflowers · 1 year

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Thinking about Izzy with hanahaki, coughing up flowers over Ed for like 25-30 years. Yeah it sucks but its not gonna kill him. Obviously keeps it a secret (From Ed at least, Fang and Ivan caught on but they don’t wanna get involved in All That so they keep it to themselves and help Izzy out when he gets bad spells. None of them mention it but Izzy is grateful, which makes it all the worse when they start palling around with the Revenge crew over Izzy :’Tc).

(Uh, readmore cause I didn’t expect this to get. Like. Huge. lmao)

Then Stede Fucking Bonnet comes along and things get worse as he watches Ed fall for Stede, even if he doesn’t really understand. Still, he manages. Gotta push through, Ed would expect nothing less.

And when Stede leaves and the Kraken happens Izzy goes through a good bit of hell. Ed is barely out the room after the toe incident before Izzy is hacking up so many flowers he thinks he might actually die this time. He doesn’t, though. Cleans himself up, puts his shaky legs to work. (And then Lucius finds out, doesn’t really matter who pulled him back on board, Izzy knows about it because none of them are subtle. He keeps the secret because. He’s really not sure. But Lucius is in the walls and he hears Izzy having a fit and now he knows. He wants to ask. Tries to, even, Izzy shuts him down and he’s not even angry when he does it. Just. Defeated. Lucius silently adds another thing to his ‘Things I’m Gonna Bitch At Blackbeard For Once He’s Not Crazy Anymore’ list.)

When Stede comes back its. Better. For a while. There’s a lot of hurt all around but everyone is alive and they’re (mostly) talking it through as a crew. Ed makes his apologies to the crew, even to Izzy. Stede makes his apologies as well. Izzy accepts that This Is His Life Now. Since Stede seems to actually want to learn now that he can’t just throw money at all his problems Izzy offers to actually teach him (instead of ‘teaching’ him like Ed does). He shows him the ropes (literally), gets him passable with a sword, keeps Ed focused when he’s teaching him navigation (not Izzy’s strong suit, he can manage if he needs to but Ed’s always been better at it). They actually find themselves getting along.

Izzy starts joining the crew during ‘story time’ (sometimes its stories, sometimes its other group activities, easier to just give it the one label). One night, after Stede finishes the story and everyone is heading to bed, he watches Stede and Ed head to their cabin. Sometimes they’ll ask him along for a night cap, not always though, and its. Fine. But. He watches them head off without him. The way they hold each other as they go, smiling, only eyes for each other.

He barely makes it to his room before he’s coughing up the most flowers he’s done since Ed fed him his toe. He, frustratedly, sets to work cleaning them up but. He actually stops to look at them. He stares. And stares and stares.

Two distinct types of flowers littler his floor. He tries to deny it but he understands immediately the implications. Fuck.

Still, Izzy is nothing if not the worlds most repressed trooper. He sticks it out. Or. Tries to. Its hard because Stede and Ed keep asking after him and seeking him out and talking and touching him and. Its just camaraderie he knows but. It makes him want. And he knows he can’t have that. He wouldn’t have a damn botanical garden in his chest if he could. Its starting to take its toll on him though. He can tell its getting bad because Stede and Ed are starting to worry about him. They don’t say it in so many words but he can see it in their eyes. Ed is more hesitant to go on raids, makes up some excuse about his knee playing up more than usual, but Izzy knows it because he can see how his hands shake even when at rest and he’s thinking about him slipping up in a fight. Stede’s plying him with herbal teas and feeding him several small meals throughout the day, he’s noticed Izzy can’t stomach much anymore, how he’s getting weaker by the day because of it.

He leaves after Lucius catches him having another fit. A bad one. He says he’s going to get the captains but Izzy begs him not to. ‘Not yet,’ he lies, ‘I’ll tell them myself but. Just. Give me some time.’ Lucius begrudgingly agrees, gives him two days. ‘And if you haven’t told them by then I’m going to do it myself and you can thank me later.’ Izzy leaves that night.

He shouldn’t be surprised, when he finds Calico Jack in some seedy bar at the nearest port he can reach, though he is. ‘Thought you were dead.’ He finds himself relieved he’s not, its nice to have a familiar face around if he’s gonna die here. (He knows he’s dying. Not immediately, he’s got more fight in him than that, but. Its coming on the horizon and he knows it. Like he knows a storm eventually follows a red dawn.)

Jack eyes him, calculating, never as drunk as he pretends to be. Izzy doesn’t know what he sees but he breaks into his usual grin and says, ‘Nah, still got - what is it - four? Four lives left. Take more than some crazy bird’s cursed cannon ball to take down Calico Jack, babydoll.’ If it were anybody else, Izzy would be bristling at the nickname, but he’s long since resigned himself to being called things like that from Jack. Jack loses his easy grin though and adds ‘You look a bit like death fuckin warmed over though, fuck happened to you?’ There’s genuine care in his tone and it reminds Izzy so much of Ed and Stede and, thank fuck Jack seems to notice because Izzy’s slapping a hand over his mouth and Jack is taking his arm and they barely make it to the shitty little room Jack’s occupying before the petals start spilling out. Jack holds him through the fit, its nice. Izzy almost regrets when its over because Jack sets him down on the bed and steps back, fixes him with a look he’s too exhausted to decipher. ‘Fuck.’ He says, eventually. ‘Think we’re gonna need a drink for this.’ The alcohol burns his tender throat but he knows Jack is gonna get him to talk anyway and its easier with the rum so he drinks. And he talks.

Jack doesn’t call him an idiot but its strongly implied. Izzy doesn’t know what he expects him to do, its not as if he chose this. He doesn’t call him an idiot though, instead he. Takes care of him? Its odd, he knows Jack isn’t as callous and heartless as he pretends to be, knows he’s actually got pretty good bedside manners in fact (There’d been a time before all the legend and everything after when they were all sailing together, they’d lost their medic during a raid and Jack stepped up. He was no doctor but he knew enough to keep everyone from dying til they go someone new. He also had a child and Izzy knew, for all that he was regularly absent from their life, he wasn’t an absent father. He knew how to care for people.), but it surprises him nonetheless to have it turned towards him. Like it matters to him that Izzy is as comfortable as he can be, given the circumstances.

Izzy manages to be up and around most days but they’re growing fewer. Lacking much better to do (he’s never been good at sitting idle) he follows Jack around when he can manage to get out of bed. On days where he can’t Jack still goes out, Izzy wonders why, he mostly just drinks and fucks around, its hardly as if he can’t do that here with Izzy. He supposes he must not make for very good company, sorry state he’s in. Still.

He’s more than a bit annoyed that it takes him hacking up even more flowers after Jack leaves one morning, with a ‘Be back sometime this evening Babydoll, I got something for you,’ to realize. ‘Fuck’s sake,’ he rasps, staring down at the mound of three distinct types of petals. He’s so tired. He’ll clean it up later, promises himself he’ll be up before Jack gets back to clean them up.

He dreams of warm hands, fond smiles, soft touches, and tender voices and wakes coughing up more and more flowers. He can’t breathe. Tears sting his eyes, from the pain in his throat and his lungs, at the thought of being alone at the end like this. He spares a brief thought towards how Jack will react, coming back this evening to find him gone. Wonders how Stede would react. Edward. Still more flowers.

The door bursts open and Izzy doesn’t have the air or the energy to startle. Jack. Jack is there and he looks panicked. And there’s Stede behind him. And Edward. Somehow Izzy finds the air to let out a hysterical little laugh, it comes out more of a gasp. Must have died already, he thinks, how else could they all be here, as though his thoughts summoned them.

‘Izzy!’ He’s not sure which of them is calling him, his vision is starting to go spotty and his ears are ringing. Maybe none of them, maybe its a trick of his desperate, dying mind. There’s hands on him, warm and soft and. Instinct tells him to fight, he can’t see who’s touching him, he knows he needs to fight but. He’s so tired. He can’t see but he feels his eyes slip shut.

‘Izzy, I love you.’

Nothing.

#the dork is being a dork #the dork does a fic #apparently #izzy hands #edward teach #stede bonnet #jack rackham #uh #stackedhands #gentlejizzed #im not sure what the agreed upon ship name is tbh #izzy/ed/stede/cj #he wakes up afterward to some very angry worried faces #they're all crying and telling him they love him talking over each other #lucius is also there crying telling him he's a fucking idiot and he should have listened to him earlier #jack put 2 and 2 together to realize izzy was sick over ed and stede so when he went out without izzy he was tracking them down #as best he could without actually leaving trying to get the message to them that izzy was dying over them and 'if you dont get your sorry #fucking asses here before he does and fix this then i'm gonna fuckin kill yall myself'#naturally they were already looking for izzy and they booked it when word reached them #real talk i have no idea where this came from i was just struck by the thought #izzy hands‚ the one man repressed and stupid enough to almost die from hanahaki over THREE people at once #i hope its obvious that they all do love him and he's just really fucking stupid about it

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vickyvicarious · 7 months

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Maybe Van Helsing should have revealed the truth to Jack the way Mina revealed the truth to Jonathan: make him supper first. She also probably didn't thrust the telegram into his face.

I respect this, and I certainly agree that a more gradual method of revealing the truth to Jack would have been better. However I also don't think that (a) van Helsing is capable of smoothly turning the post-dinner conversation to "so you know the woman you love who died very recently, I think she's a creature of the night", or (b) Jack would have taken it any better if it were delicately brought up after a nice meal.

The man was so miserable and is repeatedly so envious of others being comforted, I kind of feel like he would interpret the whole meal/gentle introduction of the topic of Lucy as an effort from someone to take care of him and just break down. Van Helsing gets as far as a soft "It's been a few days since the funeral of Miss Lucy," and Jack, who has a glass of alcohol in hand, a belly full of good food, has been enjoying someone seeking out his company after he has been isolating himself miserably in work, who feels like he doesn't have a right to ask for comfort for multiple reasons but who is very frayed at always trying to be the one to offer it and wants it so badly for himself - Jack starts crying hard.

#dracula daily #van helsing #jack seward #i understand his reasoning for not doing so but i still think van helsing's smoothest introduction would have been when she was still alive #if he presented it more gradually as 'something attacking her in the night' maybe brought up bats. kept them on guard.#then led up to his suspicions of a supernatural being - and emphasized that even if his suspicions are wrong he isn't prescribing anything #that could possibly harm her. just garlic flowers and supervised rest. i think jack would be very reluctant but go along and only resolve t #watch him closely as in canon. and vh could even invite him to do so.#as long as it is framed as 'this is to save lucy' it's all an easier sell to act on than 'lucy is a monster' ever would be when they're all #grieving her.#of course he lacked the confidence/knowledge to do that. but if he'd met the harkers earlier maybe he would have felt emboldened to do so..#maybe things could have changed... or at least been a smoother/less traumatizing shock #(i don't think he'd tell anything more than the suspicion of something getting her in the night to anyone but jack. but that might still be #enough for art to tell quincey and quincey to go vampire bats? as in canon and for them all to be watching the windows/not leaving her)#anonymous #replies

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