#but i sure as hell wouldn't have learned any of this shit otherwise

[viscerax]

robin x male reader where he gets picked on a lot and robin offers to teach him some self defence moves and one thing leads to another where the reader develops a crush for robin? (love ur fics btw)

Stand Up For Yourself

"Hey, Y/n! Where you going, cunt-wad?" You winced and kept your head down, trying to ignore the calls coming from three of the many people who constantly harassed you throughout your day.

It used to not be like this. You used to be treated normally. You never really stood out or caught the attention of any girls, but you didn't mind that. Thats not what you wanted.

It started after you had told your best friend, someone you thought you could trust, about your crush on one of the boys in your class. He told you that he wouldn't tell anyone. He lied.

After that, everyone treated you differently, and thus, the constant bullying and harassment began.

You made a sharp turn, quickly shuffling into the closest bathroom, which thankfully was empty. You perched on top of the toilet seat, struggling to remain balanced and quiet.

You heard the door slam open and hit the wall, and the chuckles of Matty and his goons flooded your ears. You just sat there, praying they would give up and leave.

"Hey, I know you're in there. You're not fooling anyone." Matty was now standing in front of the stall you were in. When you stayed silent and still, Matty scoffed and kicked the bottom of the door. "Come on out, Freak! We just want to talk!"

You flinched at the loud noise of the door rattling. You debated on whether or not it would be better to stay there and wait for them to break down the door, or just go and get it over with now.

Just as you were about to get up and open the stall, the bathroom door slammed open, making you quickly perch back up on the seat.

"What are you dipshits doing?"

Matty and his goons all went silent. They just murmured and began walking towards the exit.

"The next time you fuck with Y/n, I'll beat the shit out of you. Make sure you let everyone else know that, too." For a moment, you were confused as to who had entered and defended you, but it only took a few moments for it to finally click.

Robin Arellano. The toughest kid in school. You had never really talked to him before. You only knew him from watching him get into fights. He intimidated you, but not in the way that you were scared of Matty or Moose or any other kid that picked on you. It was more of the kind of fear you would have around a celebrity. You just wanted him to think you were cool.

"You can come out now, they're gone. They won't bother you anymore."

Now you felt embarrassed. Embarrassed that you were cowering in a bathroom stall while Robin just so easily scared Matty away.

You sighed and opened the stall door, turning to look at Robin. Who was washing his hands in the sink. You glanced down and noticed that the water in the sink was turning red, and he had a slightly pained expression on his face.

"You have got to learn how to defend yourself. Otherwise, they're just going to keep treating you like that. All you gotta do is throw a good punch, knock someone down and off their pedestal, and they won't fuck with you no more." Robin looked up to make eye contact with you through the mirror. He gave you a bit of a smile, and you couldn't help but feel flustered. You looked down at your feet, shuffling nervously and playing with the straps to your backpack.

"I can't fight. I'm thin as a toothpick. Id get knocked on my ass by a leaf." You chuckled, leaning against the wall and glancing back over at Robin.

"Its not really about how bulky you are. I mean, I've beaten Moose down before, and he looks like a mini body builder. Hell, I could probably take down Pinball Vance Hopper if I wanted to." He sighed and shook his head. "As if I'd want to do that. But the point is, its more about strategy, and knowing where to hit. I'll tell you what. My tìo has got this punching bag in our basement. I can teach you how to beat the shit out of those fuckers. Just so long as you promise to actually use it the next time they pick on you, 'kay?"

You were very surprised at first, but quickly nodded. "You'd do that for me?" You were shocked that he was so friendly with you. Any of the boys in the school had treated you like you had a disease. Like if they spent ro much time around you they were going to start turning gay too. But Robin didn't seem to care. It made you happy, relieved even, that maybe this was a potential to have a new friend.

That Friday, you had finally convinced your parents to let you stay the night at Robins. They were weary of letting you go anywhere alone these days. Not that you could blame them.

You followed Robin on his way home, smiling and chatting with him happily. For once in the past few weeks, you finally felt happy. Besides the few weird stares you got leaving school, no one bothered you. Which was rare.

That night, the two of you had brought a few blankets, pillows, and tons of snacks into Robins basement. Robin popped a Pink Floyd cassette into his player. The two of you cleared up the space around the punching bag, just in case.

Robin gave you a few tips. The best way to throw your first punch was take a quick step forward, quick step back, quick step forward, and swing. He drilled it with you a few more times before letting you try it on your own.

You landed one blow on the punching bag with enough force to make it sway back and forth on the chain it was attached to. It wasn't much, but it felt like a big accomplishment to you. The pride welling inside of you blocked out the temporary stinging pain in your knuckles.

The two of you continued doing that ober and over, and then sparred with eachother for a bit until eventually the exhaustion started to hit you like a wave, and the two of you were payed down on the king size mattress that was covered in blankets, pillows, and the open bags of candy and chips. You were sitting on one end of the bed, trying to take up as little space as possible while Robin sat a few inches away from you, eyes glued to the TV as he popped another chip in his mouth.

You couldn't help but glance over at him a few times, admiring every little detail. You knew it would only end bad for you to develop a crush on him though. You felt so guilty for looking at him, and had to force yourself to stare at the TV and focus on anything else but him.

Robin noticed your discomfort, but he decided to not bring it up.

"Robin?" You finally looked over at him again. Robin turned to look at you, giving you that signature smile he always looked at you with.

"Yeah man, whats up?"

You sighed, fidgeting with the bag of chips in your hands. "Wh-why are you being so nice to me. I mean, surely you've heard what they've said about me. I mean, I just figured you deserve to know. I-I'd feel bad if you didn't know and I was just taking advantage of your ignorance and-" this was something you did often. You always pushed other people away before the could hurt you.

Robin just chuckled and set his chips down, turning his whole body to face you. "What? That you're gay? I don't really care about that. You're chill. You're a good friend, so why should it matter if you like guys. And besides, it would be pretty hypocritical of me to judge you for that." He let out a loud laugh, turning to face the TV again.

You just sat there for a moment, dumb-founded. "So are you-?"

"Yep." He seemed so calm and non-chalant about it. It surprised you, amazed you. That must be why he never paid much attention to the dozens of girls drooling over him.

You just smiled and turned to face the TV again.

Over the next few weeks, you happily grew closer and closer to Robin. You were happy to have a friend again. A friend who didn't judge you for who you liked. A friend who treated you like a normal human being.

But you also noticed the other feelings you had for him. The way your stomach flipped inside out anytime you saw him, or the goosebumps you got whenever the two of you touched, or how excited you got to stay the night with him and get more fighting lessons.

You tried to tell yourself that you had no chance, that he was way out of your league, but you couldn't help the way your heart fluttered anytime you looked at him.

It was another Friday night at his house. This time, the two of you were simply hanging out. You were playing cards on his bed while some Queen cassette played in the background.

Everytime it was Robins turn, you would just stare at him, admire the way his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to figure out his move, or how soft his lips looked, or how much you wished you could reach out and run your fingers through his hair.

Robin looked up to notice that you were practically in a trance. He smirked as you suddenly realized that you were staring and looked down at your cards, pretending like you were trying to decide what move to make.

Robin let out a low chuckle, which made your cheeks flush an embarrassingly bright shade of red.

"Something wrong, Y/n?" He teased, setting his cards down and resting his chin in his hand.

"You're really pretty, Robin." You mumbled. Shit. You spoke without thinking. Was Robin going to be disgusted? You knew he was gay, but still. He probably just saw you as a friend and now you just ruined the only friendship you had and-

"You think so? You're not so bad yourself, Y/n." He chuckled again, he seemed to be enjoying how embarrassed you were.

You looked up at him, locking eyes with him, unsure of what to say. Luckily you didn't need to say anything, since Robin seemed to have that covered.

"Do you have a crush on me, Y/n?" That cocky smile on his face mixed with the question was enough to make you feel lightheaded.

You dumbly nodded, words failing when you opened your mouth.

"Good, because I like you too." Robin sat up and leaned over, completely disregarding the cards on the bed. He plopped down next to you, and you froze, unsure of what to do.

"C-can i-" you locked eyes with him, then glanced down at his lips, then back at him again.

Robin nodded, and you tentatively leaned in, pressing your lips against his. Kissing Robin was simultaneously everything you expected and completely different. The feeling of your lips hurriedly and sloppily moving against his made you want to pass out right then and there.

After a few seconds, the two of you pulled away and rested your foreheads against each other. You stared into his eyes, smiling so wide your cheeks were sore.

The both of you weren't sure what to say. But nothing really needed to be said. You both liked each other, and that was all that mattered to you.

A/N: i am so sorry that this one is kinda sucky and rushed!! But still, I hope you enjoy it!!

#robin arellano #the black phone #the black phone x reader #vance hopper #black phone edit #finney shaw #headcanon #robin arellano x reader

[wispforever]

Headcanons about the sand siblings?

I'm not sure if sand siblings means individual headcanons or only headcanons with them together, so I'll just do a little of both.

Gaara has a huge fucking crush on Naruto, and he always will and he's jealous as fuck of Sasuke, but he knows Naruto's in love with him, so he chooses never to express any of it. Seeing Naruto happy is enough for him. He will bitch Sasuke out at a moment's notice though if he sees him doing any sasuke-typical bullshit to naruto

About that crush, Temari and Kankuro think it's fucking adorable.

As the big sister, Temari is very protective of her boys even after they're full-grown men. She'll hear about fights they have, and she lets them do their thing because she trusts in their abilities and such but the opponents that give them a real hard time WILL ALWAYS BE ON HER SHIT LIST if sakura wouldn't have killed Sasori you can bet your ass Temari would've rocked his shit after the hell he put Kankuro through

I picture Kankuro throwing all his issues into his puppets. Just the few scenes we get to see him working, being annoyed when he's interrupted makes me think so. His fucked up dad, his near-death experiences as a shinobi, his worries about and for Gaara. He works and works until he can't remember them. And when he's finished, he has a tool he can use to protect the people he loves, not to mention himself. It's an extension of his will in more ways than one

After Gaara turns his corner, he starts hanging with his siblings way more and getting to know them better. They start training together and coordinating kick ass jutsu as a way to bond. He spawns sand dunes for Kankuro's puppets to hide in and ambush enemies. Temari uses her wind with Gaara's sand to create blinding sandstorms. they learn how to work together, and they feel like a family for one of the first times.

idk if this is a headcanon, I've never actually checked the canon, but I've always thought that Temari and Kankuro probably had a different mother than Gaara, which would make them half-siblings. I like to think of them that way, having only half-siblings myself. They talk about their different experiences of their father, and how they miss their respective moms. They laugh when strangers can't guess they're related because they all look different

Kankuro does Temari and Gaara's makeup for them cuz he's the best at it out of all of them.

I like to think Gaara keeps one of those sand gardens, but he uses it to practice honing his jutsu. He has to focus his chakra to make the little ripples even

Their dad was a scary dickhead, but both Temari and Kankuro stood up to him more than once when they were old enough to feel like they could hold their ground. They stuck up for each other, and they tried their best to stick up for Gaara.

Temari, I've noticed, is one of the best fucking trash talkers in Naruto. She talks so much shit when she fights, it's ridiculous. She never flinches, never hesitates to try and get into her opponent's head and it TOTALLY WORKS. I think Kankuro and Gaara totally try to emulate her badassery. When they're in a corner or feeling doubt during a fight, they think what would my stone-cold bitch of a sister say??

Kankuro's wrists and hands get stiff pretty often cuz he's doing a lot of fine-tuning on his puppets. Gaara and Temari try to remind him to stretch before he starts in for hours on end. They encourage him to take breaks, come and drag him away from his little table to eat and such, then get him ice afterward when he's miserable.

After Shukaku was extracted from him, Gaara was relieved, as he no longer had what he felt was a monster inside of him. But he felt strangely empty too; shukaku was his only company for many years, agreeable or otherwise.

Temari circulates the air in the sand when they have an especially hot day to give the village a little breeze

Gaara's on the aroace spectrum. I said so

#naruto #ask #crazymistahj #headcanons #gaara #temari #kankuro #this is wisp

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2023: #17-#16

17. UNITED KINGDOM Mae Muller - "I wrote a song" 25th place

Decade ranking: 46/116 [Above RAFAL, below We Are Domi]

Pahr Mae. All the abuse she had to sit through pre-show for not being Rina Sawayama by twitter queers in ugly mullets (please log off and touch grass.) and later by the boomer press for being a VILE, JEWISH, ANARCHO-LIBERAL ENGLAND-HATING "T-WORD" (just a reminder: Mae is not trans and transphobia hurts ALL women, don't fucking engage in it, you stupid "gender-critical" cunts) for idk... daring to say Tories suck (they do). She gave us the gift of #GAYRIGHTS (she did), and the gays rewarded her back with a paltry bottom 2 placement. She was just tryna slaaaaaaaaaay you filthy little bottoms. 😭😭😭

Like okay, the second Mae said she was on #VocalRest we knew there would be no "recovery". Her singing was never not strained (even at the pre-parties) and it wasn't going to get any better. She knew that and so should've we. Yeah, her off-kilter vocals were a big detriment to the overall performance. I wouldn't dare to claim otherwise.

However, at a certain point in the ranking I have to let go of my ~personal gripes~ and rally my angry logic for the purpose of defence and I've chosen THIS point you can't make me. Mae's vocals were blergh and that was a deal, but visiually, omg, it looked so GOOD?

THE ZENA-ESQUE BACKDROP (yes, we're gonna Like It)

THE FUN ACT WITH THE BUDDING HE/SHE/THEY DANCERS

THE SASS, THE SPUNK, THE ZEST, THE PLUCK

YOU'RE POWERFUL, YOU'RE ALL YOU NEED, WERK IT BABY, COME WITH ME!

If you have a one decently-sized negative and then a bunch of smaller positives, the net result is still a positive, surely? Well it was here and you'll have to deal.

Not to mention the UK fucking TRIED this year, okay and god there have been too many years recently where they've just been fucking phoning it in, not even trying to be good, sending reasonably talented artists like SuRie and James Newman to their doom with lame demos and visionless non-acts nobody could possibly be made to care for. "I wrote a song" was a self-written pamphlet against toxicity and in favour of mental health (Roxen could NEVER; therapy can work lest she/they first learn to LISTEN TO PEOPLE [other than *ndr*w t*te]). Depth and thematic relevance any 2010s BBC entry would murder an orphanage for.

While it did not pay out this year, and instead of like... a solidly competent entry we got a visual treat with trainwreck vocals, point still stands. The UK made an effort to prove that Ryder wasn't a one-time fluke. Kick-ass song by a kick-ass maiden was a good attempt and befitting her entry, is the proof that BBC are working on themselves, which is more than what one can say about the next country on our list:

---------------------------------------------------------

16. MALTA The Busker - "Dance (Your Own Party)" 35th place

Decade ranking: 43/116 [Above Montaigne, below TBA]

As is the case with televised competitions with semifinals, some participants need to NQ and ideally those flop spots go to solulu/delulu broadcasters that have lost their touch with reality, have no idea what they're doing, are throwing away golden opportunities with zero regard and yet respond with indignation when their stupid schemes ricochet back in their faces like errant boomerangs.

So in the light of that, TVM's flop era was has been long in the works and is fully deserved. To hell with this wishy-washy, cynically corporate piece of secretive shit broadcaster. Malta have only been truly good twice recently, and even Destiny was kind of debatable (What separates a "Je Me Casse" from a "Queen Bees" other than two glasses of chardonnay?).

However, as if often the case with entries that get the overdue flop results (see also: Ela and Tell Me More), The Busker didn't particularly deserve to be the anvil of fate, not in the least be hit with such overkill: last place with 3 points, excusez-moi? No idea what The Busker did (well, what they specifically did) to be immediately branded as THE MOST ANNOYING THING OF ALL TIMES once they arrived in Liverpool. We've seen worse of the same "offenses", where WERE these people when The Roop and Mikolas Jozef were being an ABSOLUTE TERROR to us? Oh right, bookie odds made it fashionable to pretend to like them, got it.

Anyway, how else can you do an entry such as "Dance" any justice if not by going ham? This is only one of two recent examples since "Walk On Water" where Malta actually staged appropriately, playing to their song's best strengths.

🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷 I FEEL BETTER IN MY SWEATER 💃💃💃💃💃💃💃

I *liked* the presentation. It was jank and clunky and Moldovan. The three acts, the sweater change, the obnoxiously bad sax playback, the bedroom dance moves that completented the song's bedroom karaoke vibe, Dav Jr.'s excellent hairline. Works for me! They HAD A VISION to craft a story of lockdown blues and social anxiety and I won't toss it in the bin just because it's trashy and out of vogue! It's Eurovision, and trashy also-rans have been a staple since the very beginning. Embrace them!

The true reason why the Busker did this poorly was bad luck. They were on second in r/o, had no built-in vote bases (like Serbia) and directly competed with the OTT-LOUD entries from Croatia and Finland. Hurricane Käärijä landed and left only destruction in his wake. Put The Busker in Semi 2 and their total points rise to a similar level that Iru and Diljá got.

Of course, The Busker also dropped for me, but that's just the normal trajectory for gimmicky entries doing its work. When the joke is still fresh and funny, I'm into it the most, but once I've acclimatized my mind and the novelty has worn off and I'm just left with how much I like the music. As it turns out, "Dance" was fine fun semi filler and that's something I'm perfectly okay with. 😁

THE RANKING

#Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #ESC #ESC 2023 #Eurovision 2023 #Liverpool 2023 #The Busker #Dance (Your own Party) #Malta #Youtube #United Kingdom #UK #Mae Muller #I Wrote A Song

[spitblaze]

yes and no, i think already past 18, you're old enough to understand shit, and hitting the early 20's you're old enough to wipe your own ass and know whats right and wrong. i think it just really depends on the person. 'you're a teenager until 25' is just eh

You're not wrong, it very much depends on the individual! Things like neurodivergence and where/how they grew up can absolutely impact what things people know and what they're capable of. And it does depend on what we're talking about they should 'know better'. Like- able-bodied, able-minded 20 year old doesn't know how to wash dishes? Cringe. Grab a sponge. Your other example, though.

The thing is. The implication that 18-22 is old enough to know 'right and wrong' is...hm. How do I put this.

If you want to argue that morality is objective, then yes- knowing what's 'right' and 'wrong' would be easy at 18. Don't murder, don't cheat, don't steal. Easy.

But the world really isn't that simple, is it? For most neurotypical people even, morality is pretty black and white until you're a teenager. And then you start getting into the weird gray areas. Is it okay to steal if your family is starving? Is it okay to kill if someone is about to kill you first? Is it alright to cheat if there's no way to succeed otherwise? Etc, etc.

Morality is weird and subjective! I'm a moral relativist and to say that everyone should have the same idea of what is 'right' and 'wrong' at eighteen is absurd! Someone raised in a very progressive household would have a very different idea about right and wrong than someone raised in a very conservative one, and to imply that they should 'know better' simply because they're an adult, as if some of these things can't take YEARS to unlearn, is not only reductive as hell, but does not encourage people to look at different viewpoints! There are a lot of situations you will run into as an adult where there is not one 'right' answer ethically, there will be a lot of situations that require multiple people to sit down and think very hard about what the 'right' answer would be.

If morality was easy, there would not be entire college courses dedicated to ethics. If morality was straightforward, we would not have a shifting understanding of the world and what is considered 'good' and 'bad'. Do you get what I'm saying. To say age is the only requirement to 'know better' in terms of morality is comically reductive at best. Morality is relative. How many people shifted from supporting Ukraine to supporting Russia? How many gay and trans people lashed out at others like them before coming out/cracking their egg because of internalized hatred?

Morality is a shifting thing. There are some things that someone could probably know better about, but myriad reasons they wouldn't. Maybe they were never given the resources (many kids are never taught about queer people and never given a way to learn more). Maybe this is a topic that has sort of...arbitrary takes to begin with (person was accused of being a pedophile for having very sfw vanilla ship art of characters who are under 18). Maybe, despite being the 'age you should know better', they genuinely do not know better, as many ACTUALLY grown adults do not, because what is considered acceptable and good and bad is not always readily apparent to everyone and shifts over time.

Listen. CAN someone be an amoral shithead as an 18-25 year old?? Absolutely. There's shitheads of all ages and moral leanings. But if there's an age where you're supposed to have morality all figured out then nobody's told me, or the ethics professors, or any philosophers for that matter. There's FOR SURE things that have a pretty clear-cut answer but assuming someone has all of them is like. why would you do that. YOU don't have all of the answers, why would they?? There's all sorts of extenuating circumstances but not giving someone the benefit of the doubt because 'they're an adult' is denying them the chance to actually learn.

TL;DR: If someone who is 18-25 is being a shithead you should call them a shithead instead of 'an adult who should know better' because morality is relative and tying it to age is arbitrary, but also you should give people the benefit of the doubt bc living your life assuming people who are wrong are inherently bad or immature isn't great

#spitblaze says things #long post #uuuuuuuh. lol im not a philosopher and i tend to ramble so #all this to say. morality is relative. go outside.

[applescabs]

I was tagged by my buddy @phoenixfangs so lets goooo

Are you named after anyone? I've heard this story a buncha times so I'm pretty sure my mom got my birth name from a singer. She heard it on tv and liked it a lot, back then it wasn't a very common name in my country. My names as of now are 50/50, Tom didn't come from anyone but Teddie was 100% something I picked up from Teddie p4, hahah.

When was the last time you cried? Last Sunday when I rewatched ep 11 of Bucchigiri. especially during the part where Zabu got the absolute shit beaten out of him. Finn came home right after that and doesn't understand that one of the big points of media is to reach you emotionally, so he thought it was weird that I was crying.

Do you have kids? Nah, but I'd like to some day, if fate allows it.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Not nearly as much as I used to, because most of my friends are autistic and don't get it most of the time, so I just end up upsetting them whenever I do use it. Being sincere is much more fun anyways.

What sports do you play? None, but I would love to swim or ice skate (or, hell, do some skiing). Neither are really possible for me atm, unfortunately (do you have any idea how expensive skiing is btw. it's crazy). When I was a kid I did gymnastics and streetdance, I also played tennis briefly as a teen, but had to quit due to a lack of people in my age group playing at that club.

What’s the first thing you notice about people? I usually take note of how someone dresses and does their hair. Ever notice how dull most people's clothes are? I like seeing styles that stand out.

What’s your eye colour? Brown, it's not a particularly dark shade, but I wouldn't call it hazel (my dad has hazel eyes though).

Scary movies or happy endings? This ones a little... vague? But I guess if I had to choose... I wouldn't. I don't care about genre or what type of emotional impact it has, as long as it's coherent and entertaining in its own right. (That doesn't mean I don't care about quality btw. I literally just. watch anything and judge it for what it is.)

Any special talents? I'm a boss at packing in groceries quickly and efficiently. Not a talent that everyone possesses, I've learned (sorry Minke <3).

Where were you born? Netherlands babeyyy ✌ North-Holland to be a bit more precise. I lived next to a dyke (not that kind) so I got the real under-sea-level experience. I still live around the area but not in my hometown anymore.

What are your hobbies? Drawing, (writing?), translation and the nuances that come with it, watching movies, tv shows, animes, cartoons, playing video games, reading books, comics and manga. (and then talking about cinematography, parallels, themes, symbolism and the likes) I also collect soda cans (+ the occasional glass bottle), candy packaging, and anime figurines + other merch.

Do you have any pets? My little baby Jody (dog) who I've had since I was 7 years old! She's about to have her sweet 16 on the 23rd (that's in 2 weeks!) she's getting blind and deaf as hell but she's still lively and sweet as ever <3 And my sweet Tiger of course, who's of undetermined age (around 8/9 the vet said) and currently living with my good friend Minke and their 2 other cats (he does not like them) and dog (he is ok with her). He's not with me rn because my mom's bf is allergic, unfortunately.

How tall are you? 1 meter 59. that single centimeter haunts me. I would've also preferred an additional 10 as well.

Favourite subject in school? Art history used to my favourite in high school, and when I was in film school for a brief period I loved film history. I just love anything pertaining to the arts and it's history that involves analysing and comparing it to other time periods, really.

Dream job? I wanna be someone's househusband and make a buncha weird art on the side. Not kidding btw. But if I had to choose a more conventional dream job... it had to be something in the creative or design industry, otherwise I'll probably die of unhappiness.

tageroonie @kuwupikaa @sunflowermews @xrd @isleofair @spunktrumpetsasara and uhhh other mutuals who feel inclined to do this 👉👈

#thanks for the tag buddy appreciate it mwuah #you're right these are fun to do. but it doesnt happen a lot anymore. at least not in our circles it seems #tag meme #tedpost #also i type. really weird. #i tend to switch to using very formal speech <like this #but i also use abbreviations and more casual speech? in the same paragraph? #idk man it might be because im reading richard again.

[lunarsilkscreen]

Gaslighting, Psychosis, and Bipolar Disorder

Some people think that getting upset or angry at something is a sign of psychosis, BPD, or many other mental disorders.

So much so that your average person develops a mask so that others can never see when they're angry or upset. A painted smile, or a poker face.

They say: You can diagnosis somebody for any number of mental illnesses, but you can diagnose somebody with being an asshole. And you're wrong Dr.

It's important to ask questions when somebody is accused of being psychotic, BPD, or crazy, or any number of things. Because it may be a tactic used to isolate an individual from the group.

People with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) do this for a few reasons, either they're malicious, or they're worried about losing their own friend group when the group learns that they are in-fact, an Asshole.

Or, they just want to control that person, and the best way to do so is to isolate them from other people. It's important to be able to recognize when somebody is being isolated, or when a person close to you is you to be isolated.

Because to the individual, it can look like this person is their only lifeline until it's too late. And to the group, it's a person self-isolating because "depression or whatever".

And if that person who you may assume is their best friend and routinely checking up on them, probably isn't doing that at all. They may even tell the group at large that they have checked in on them and either "they're fine" or "I don't know they won't tell me." Or "I don't know they keep acting crazy."

Psychosis isn't something that comes out of the blue. It comes from gaslighting. A person is antagonized to the point that they "act out". Either they yell or or do some other action because their nervous system has to react to destress.

Note: that if, when two people are routinely brought together, and this happens routinely; it's probably the relationship and these two shouldn't be around each other. Potentially because one of the two in the relationship is NPD, or because the relationship just isn't a healthy one, or even because they're acting out against each other because of societal pressures they can't otherwise control.

These things are hard to talk about because it's often framed that "the angry person" is the problem. But if you had a mosquito in the house, wouldn't you smack the mosquito?

There's a rash, and this is oftentimes women, who want people to feel sorry for them. They play the victim a lot. Because this happens, Men who actually do victim blame get to be covered by the Men who have been in their own shitty relationships where they themselves were the victim in such a relationship.

I'm gonna get so much shit for that, but it's a yin-yang thing. There's assholes on both halves. The black asshole, the white asshole. You've seen a yin-yang, I'm sure of it.

I'm saying: it's the victims on either side that get blamed and shamed.

This comes down to those masculine stereotypes. And even autistic stereotypes. Have you've ever seen a B* (and I mean B*, not a women) "catch" their partner in a "trap". And then just look at her friends like "See what I have to deal with?"

It's her friends that go along with it that cause the problem to metastisize.

Sorry, I used a gendered pronoun. Have you ever seen a D* (and I mean a D* not a men.) "Catch" their partner in some "trap" look at his friends and go "see what I have to deal with?" His friends are the problem.

F* I did it again.

Have you ever seen a... What's a negative slur against "theybys" cuz #notalltheybys. F* it. If I'm going to hell, might as well go in a hand basket.

Have you ever seen a Fa*t (and I mean a Fa*t and not a queer looking individual.) "Catch" their partner in some sort of "situation" and then look at their friends like "Can you believe this shit?" And then their friends go along with it without further comment.

And then the story *becomes* the theyby's partner was an edgelord that threatened to commit suicide? But as you learn more about that Fa*t, D*, or B*, that it was really them who were trying to get brownie points for being the... f*.

I think black people call it being a "White Savior" or whatever.

"yeah they're all sorts of mentally ill, but I put up with it, and I suffer for *their* sake... "

D*B*Got pls.

[ryverbind]

Faceless Fixation {Sal Fisher}: Prologue

"Move, move, move!"

I left the awful, deteriorating city of Nockfell when I was ten years old. It was worth it-- I've always said that. I had nothing in that town; the population went down each day and hell, it was starting to look like I'd die there too.

I had to leave all of my friends behind, but at least we kept in touch. I only had three friends, anyway. Being able to keep those three around meant more to me than the fear of moving to a bigger city. Nothing was scary as long as I had my few friends.

"I'm trying! This guy in front of me is being stupid!"

Moving didn't mean much at the time, but it did leave me very lonely. Both of my parents were and still are workaholics, so I grew up pretty alone. Well, I did until mom and dad got divorced.

I think mom was the driving force behind dad's need to work so much. She was a drama queen.

Dad and I live in the heart of Los Angeles now. We moved here from San Diego just last year. He has his normal job that makes enough-- otherwise we wouldn't be in such a big city-- but making enough isn't always... enough over here.

"Go around him maybe!?"

But I've learned to work around that. Dad has, too. I have a mediocre job at a diner to pay for expenses and to help with some at-home things.

After all, life in one of America's most famous-- and most expensive-- city's won't pay for itself.

"Shut up, Ash! Fuck, why won't this person just move!?"

Though, I wish there was something I could do to make more money. Something to give me more freedom instead of being cramped in dad and I's little apartment. Something easier than breaking my back for pissy customers that won't even tip.

Honestly, I want something easier for me and dad.

And still, I find myself sitting in front of the TV in my living room-- mint chocolate chip ice cream in my hand as I watch my childhood friend fuck shit up on her most recent Youtube video.

The best part about this small, suffocating apartment is that it's on one of the highest floors. Sure, I have quite the elevator ride to take when I come home and sometimes I'm late to work because I miscalculate the time it'll take me to get down to the bottom floor-- but it's so worth it.

Our balcony doors are cracked open, the curtains pulled away to show the busy streets of Los Angeles below. The city is a beauty, that's for sure. The sun and headlights are always reflecting off of the tall, glass buildings which make for quite the light show-- and I have free tickets.

Early morning light filters into my dim living room. A stray golden ray forms a rift in the drab darkness of the rest of the room, illuminating a stripe across the back of the couch, across my legs, and then all the way to the other end of the room. I take note of dust that seems to float on the small stream of light as I redirect my focus from the Youtube video that's currently playing.

This apartment can only get so dark. When I say dim, it's still pretty bright. Our apartment is like any modern apartment-- it's new and filled with neutral colors, making it seem bright and inviting. Our walls are an eggshell white color. Our furniture is a mix of beige and black fabric, never leather because dad hates the feeling of it. And any wooden furniture is black, as well as our carpet.

It's simple, modern, sleek. It's everything a Los Angeles resident could want.

Right?

"Dammit, Sally! You cost us that entire game!"

My best friend's shrill scream pulls my attention back to the television. I see her face in the bottom left corner, her brows furrowed and mouth wide open in a mixture of shock and anger. Her cheeks turn a rosy shade as she begins scolding the guy in the mask at the top right of the screen.

They're playing Call of Duty.

"All you had to do was move around the glitched dumbass, are you kidding me?" Ash bellows. "How long have you been playing this game? I thought you were the pro. Give me my fucking crown."

Sally Face, the guy in the mask, or as he calls it, a prosthetic, snorts into the microphone. His head bobs with laughter, showing that he finds Ash's anger quite amusing. "Ash, if I could have moved around the guy, I would have. I was glitched, too." He pushes a veiny hand through his pretty hair. "I will never revoke my crown."

Sally Face is confusing in my brain. He has unnatural, bright cerulean hair. It's fluffy and full of layers, creating a pretty interesting texture to accompany the fringe that always hangs over his prosthetic.

His style is a contrast to his blue hair— dark, mainly all black clothing. He's always wearing either a plethora of different necklaces or just one that no one has ever seen before. He has chipped, black nail polish— no matter how many times he streams, it's always the same. I've never seen a fresh coat on his nails.

My favorite, and undoubtedly the most distracting, part about him happens to be the rings and bracelets he wears. He has plenty, much like his necklaces. Most times, Sally Face is wearing the same wrap-around snake ring with a black finish and a silver one with unique carvings and a garnet gem. He has a ton of cute fan-made bracelets that say different things, like "Cogito Ergo Sum" and "SF."

And he has this accent, a very attractive one. It's not too strong and I can't put my finger on what kind of accent it is, but I find myself holding onto his every word. There's just something about the way he articulates certain sounds.

Not like I'd admit it, but sometimes I rewind a YouTube video just to hear the way he says "water" or "coffee" again.

Is that down bad-ish of me?

Larry catches my attention, effectively dragging me back to earth from my simping thoughts. His face is in the top left corner of the screen; he pinches his lips together and shakes his head. "Will you two stop bickering? It's just a game," he says, shifting in his chair to get into a more comfortable position.

"Who stole Larry? Because you are not him," Todd's voice cuts in just as Larry finishes speaking. His face is in the bottom right corner. "You're supposed to be the shit-starter, not the shit-stopper," Todd continues, chuckling.

Larry snorts. "Maybe I'm just feeling different today. Ever thought of that, Todd? Huh?"

"You guys are insufferable," Ash scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest. She leans back in her chair, showing off her headset. It's super cute with little cat ears that change colors. "I'm taking away friend rights. I'm all for y/n now."

I perk up at the mention of my name. She never talks about me online-- not that I blame her. We agreed to pretty much keep our friendship private.

"Awe, come on, Ash," Larry whines, pouting at the camera. "We have to share y/n, and besides, we love you. You have to take care of us, mom," he jokes.

"Y/n is mine, thank you very much," Ash chirps, smiling wickedly. "And, for your information, I am not your mother so I can very easily dip out of your life."

"Fuck, it's like my dad all over again," Larry says. Everyone is silent, suddenly afraid to say a word as Larry's dad is a sore subject. But Larry starts giggling at his own joke.

"Stop making fun of such a serious situation, Larry," Todd says, holding back little giggles. "I'll go to hell if I laugh. Don't do this to me."

"Ash practically set up the entire joke, Larry just took advantage of the opportunity," Sally Face says, a pretty chuckle leaving his mouth. "But anyway, who's y/n?"

"Oh, shit." Ash slaps a hand over her mouth. "I completely forgot that I mentioned her. I was hoping I'd keep her a secret forever."

I tilt my head, my eyes narrowing as I watch the screen. All four of their characters are idle in the game lobby as they chat with each other.

Shoving a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth, I start to wonder if Ash, Larry, and Todd just... never bothered to mention me to Sally.

As far as I know, Sally Face moved to Nockfell long after I left. He became friends with my friends but I never met him. I never spoke to him. I had heard of him, but I just never bothered to reach out and get to know him.

Just two years ago, at the ripe ages of 21 and 22, the four of them decided to try streaming as a way to make money since there were only so may job opportunities in Nockfell. And wouldn't you know, the group went viral almost immediately.

Larry and Todd are the clowns, Ash is the pretty one with a temper, and Sally Face is the mysterious asshole. Viewers want a face reveal from him so bad and that's exactly why he became the most popular streamer out of the four.

Larry and Todd have about two million subscribers and followers, Ash is nearing 2.5 million, and Sally is at a whopping 3.5 million. They're pretty big.

So, my favorite pass-time is getting to watch all of them play. But today's video is extra spicy.

"We were so busy gatekeeping y/n that we couldn't even tell Sally?" Todd asks, a bit confused. "You know, now that I'm thinking about it-- I really don't think we ever mentioned her."

Larry hums, looking off to the side as he thinks. He chews on his bottom lip, tapping his finger against the armrest of his chair. "I've thought it out," he mumbles after a few moments. "I have no recollection of ever mentioning y/n."

Ash laughs shortly, shaking her head with a soft smile. "Damn. I guess we did a good job at keeping her a secret then."

Sally groans, leaning closer so we can clearly see his left eye in the screen. It's the most striking blue color I think I've ever seen. "Who the fuck is y/n?" He whispers, the microphone right against his prosthetic as he says it. This makes the whisper sound like a scream and, as a result, the other three jump in surprise.

"You don't get to know y/n, she's ours," Larry jokes, sticking his tongue out to tease Sally.

"Okay, fine." Sally backs up, his pretty hands gripping onto the armrests of his chair. He's wearing a black, long-sleeved shirt and a chain around his neck. His nails are painted black and multiple rings adorn his fingers— as per usual. "But is she hot?"

I choke on my bite of ice cream, spluttering pale green all over my dad's black carpet. The thought of staining his beloved carpet doesn't even cross my mind as I stare at the screen with wide eyes, watching as Sally Face waits patiently for his friends to recover from their surprised laughter.

"What's so funny?" Sally asks calmly, electric eyes flitting back and forth across the screen.

Larry takes a deep breath, one last laugh leaving him as he places a hand on his heart. "Bro, I can't even lie. I had the biggest crush on her whenever I knew her. She left a couple years before you came along." Larry winces, like he's just remembering that his millions of viewers will be seeing this video-- including me. "Sorry if you're watching this, y/n. I promise I'm over it but anyone can see that you're adorable." He shrugs, winking at the camera.

I let out an obnoxious laugh, a smile forming on my lips as I continue watching. Larry has always been hilarious, though I never knew he had a crush on me.

Todd closes his left eye, a little quirk of his. He always does this when he's thinking. "Well," he sighs, tapping his index finger against his arm. "She's beautiful, I'll say that. But I'm gay, so like, I'm not Larry. I've never wanted to fuck her. Unlike someone, apparently."

Larry shoots forward, a serious expression on his face as he starts yelling out to defend himself. "Fuck off, Todd! I never said I wanted to fuck her, I just said I had a crush on her! She's hot!"

This has gotten a bit crazy. When I sat down to watch this video after Ash begged me to put it on earlier, I expected to giggle a bit and relax on my one off-day of the week. I didn't expect to be hearing about famous streamers, who are also my friends, wanting to dick me down.

I feel like I've just worked a double shift.

I place my melting carton of ice cream on the wooden floor at the foot of the couch, my eyes never straying from the TV screen as I watch Larry and Todd bicker.

Ash and Sally watch, seemingly just as horrified as I am.

After a couple seconds, Larry runs a hand down his face, sighing as he listens to Todd get a good laugh out of the situation.

"Okay," Sally awkwardly drags out the word. "So we have one vote for hot, one vote for beautiful. What's your opinion of the mysterious y/n, Ash?"

Ash hums, smiling brightly. "I vote both. Y/n is the hottest and most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

Sally Face nods his head and I smile. Ash has always been so kind to me, though I think she, Larry, and Todd are hyping my looks up a bit too much. I'm not the hottest or the most beautiful.

"So the important question now, Ash, is would you fuck y/n?" Sally asks. What a dick.

I scoff at the screen, scrunching my face up. He knows that we're all close, clearly. Todd and Larry joking with each other about his crush is all in good fun, but the tone in Sally's voice shows that he's trying to start shit.

Ash narrows her eyes, "Yes, actually, I would."

I pause the video, my smile so wide that it genuinely hurts. I debate calling Ash for a moment just to give her a little smooch through the phone and tell her how much I love her. But I can always call her later. There's only two minutes left of the video anyway.

Larry chortles, Todd following with a very similar sign of amusement.

Sally nods, humming again. "Okay. Two points for hot, two points for beautiful. Those ratings are pretty good."

He pauses, lifting a hand and suddenly waving them off dismissively. "But you guys have terrible taste, so I doubt she lives up to the hype you guys gave her."

What the fuck did he just say?

I shoot up into a sitting position, scooting toward the edge of the couch with my jaw dragging along the fabric. Did I hear that correctly?

Sally looks into the camera. I feel like he's staring me directly in the eye, a sarcastic and cocky look in his gaze as he says, "Sorry, Y/n Whoever-You-Are."

Come again?

—————————

A/N:::::

I don't have much planned for this book just yet, but most of you know what I'm about. Expect angst, expect comedy, and most of all, EXPECT SPICE!

THIS IS JUST A PROLOGUE TO GIVE EVERYONE A TASTE AND I WILL NOT BE UPDATING AGAIN UNTIL I AM FINISHED WITH MY OTHER BOOK!

Sorry for the caps, just wanna make it loud and out there :P

As always, I love you all so much and I'm so excited to start this new, lovely journey with you guys :3

~Ryver <3

[hauntedfalcon]

(MORE candela dark materials stuff)

draven kingsley's daemon is (was) an argentine black and white tegu. the aesthetics of it are too perfect otherwise. also: What Happens To Daemons Exposed To Bleed... the shapeshifting creatures impersonate people, and surely to do that successfully in this setting they would need to mimic daemons - or maybe the lack of one would be a sign that someone's been replaced?

also. auntie bee and her daemon The Most Stubborn And Judgemental Goat To Ever Exist. this goat has caught sean and marion getting into trouble as children So Many Times and has Never Even Once cut them any slack about it. they can't reminisce about their childhoods for two minutes without The Goat going "hey remember when you got yourself concussed because you did some stupid shit and then Did Not Learn Your Lesson?" it 100% also pretends to just be regular goat sometimes, in much the same way that bee plays up her "just a frail old lady nothing to see here" thing when she's Up To Mischief. everyone is a little bit terrified of this very powerful goat.

also... the implication that, potentially, jinnah's dad was the one to sever jean and marion's daemons? because there was something Wrong with their daemons maybe?? (that maybe their daemons "died" but they themselves didn't, and they were stuck bound to this corpse that wouldn't fade away until it had to be severed from them like a rotten limb??) or that it happened somehow without anyone actively doing it - marion waking up from sleepwalking at the age of seven, suddenly unable to find his daemon anywhere?? (he wanted to be normal so bad, would that manifest as attempts to hide that he doesn't have a daemon? feeding stray animals, trying to coax them close to him so that if someone were to glance over they'd assume he still had his soul? jean looking at those display cases of pinned beetles and arachnids and Feeling about it??)

for some reason I'm picturing nathaniel's dad as having a straight-up horse daemon and I can't put it out of my mind. A Full Very Big Horse that you cannot move more than like ten feet away from at any given time. you go into a room and see a well-dressed man and A Horse. and the horse is a right bastard, too. terrible company.

for sean's mum, I'm imagining a fox, and I don't know why. something something foxes are clever city-dwelling animals that hide in burrows and are hunted down by dogs??

anyway; I know Almost Nothing about his dark materials, certainly not enough to actually write anything myself, but oh boy the brainwheels are a-turnin' about how fucked up this au could potentially get

oooohoohoo my god hell yes. what if the bleed creatures manifest fake daemons as just like. a growth or a tendril forming that shape beside them. horrifying. especially horrifying in a world where everyone is used to daemons because they would gradually get the creeping sensation that no matter how realistic they seem, there’s no soul in there

have you listened to the Worlds Beyond Number children’s campaign? because Bee’s goat is giving big Taro vibes and I’m here for it

absolutely HATE the idea of seven year old kids carrying around their dying or dead daemons, you genius, that’s so devastating. Marion with a canary in his hands that keeps fluttering and turning into a yellow butterfly and back but can’t. work up the strength to fly. I believe in you, make this AU even more fucked up than that, I dare you

#Candela Obscura SPOILERS tangentially for ts #His Dark Materials for ts #but for real The Golden Compass is a great book and the plot would actually mesh so well in the Candela setting so I do recommend it!

[gwynbleiddyn]

4, 58 and 69 (nice) for Mio

HRMMMMHMMM LETS SEE

4. if they could learn one spell that isn’t available to them at present, which spell would it be?

this is an interesting one because the man is proficient in arcana and has extensively studied magic at some point in his life in order to obtain said proficiency, but he uses it purely based on Vibes and that's very sexy of him, and he doesn't really know spells as a result - not like people like Sav or Cai or Laz would.

the wording of this question is a little weird to me so i'm just going to name a spell that isnt at all accessible to mio based on class and the fact he won't ever get an 8th level spell: Sunburst... because that would fuck severely with the aesthetic and it targets what he hates most with what he adores most. poetic justice and so on and so forth

58. what do they think their role in the party is? what is their role in actuality?

i don't think he sees himself as a very integral part of the group at all. he's just kind of there. he has his connections to each of them and he does care in his own weird way about them, but he could leave and he wouldn't worry about them. it wouldn't feel great and he'd miss them, for sure, but he wouldn't be at all concerned that they wouldn't be able to cope with a fight or whatever comes next in his absence.

in terms of the reality... i'm unsure, honestly. utility wise, he can do a lot that we haven't really touched on in game. he has useful features for espionage and subterfuge, which isn't something we really run into or at least it's not a method Talisman like to use. he can deal damage, he can crowd control, he can tank well enough, and he buffs the party. he can do A Lot, but none of that is done in a way where he is the go-to for any of those things.

part of it stems from me not knowing what the fuck to do with a dnd character when i made him and gave him a ridiculously useless stat spread that we had to patch up with feats as he levelled up so he's not Optimised like some other PCs, and part of it kind of came along when i played him and developed him and kind of understood that the narrative reason that he's a jack of all trades is because that's how he has to be if he wants to be a halfway decent king.

69. how would they describe their party members?

this is asking for trouble but the point here is you ASKED. i won't do wordy descriptions bc i dont have the braincells for that right now but shortform summaries are king, focusing a lot on how mio perceives everyone rather than Descriptions alone. let's go a-z

Alar: genuine bestie, a confidant, the perseverant edge to his own temperamental spirit. meryset, beloved of setekh but also beloved of ra. someone who understands the demands of divinity, and doesn't dismiss them. one of few people who could ask to walk into the hells and mio would follow. there's nothing more i can add.

Cai: a troublesome magpie, but a genuine friend. he brings laughter when it feels lost. that's an ability that can't be overstated, even if mio sometimes feels like he's gained another younger sibling to meticulously dance around at times.

Diric: strong and steady is a good descriptor. even in his worst moments he seems to have his head above water. in the same vein i think mio would describe him as frustrating, because he doesn't just lose his shit and bite back and scream and shout and throw a tantrum, and mio kind of wants to see it, to feel better. otherwise, though not as much at the forefront of the party since his return, mio still sees him as something of a compass to the group. and having shared some brief part of his life with diric, mio knows that in his heart he will always have a fondness for him, though it will take many different shapes and forms in the potential millennia he will live.

Laszlo: it is a strange echo with laz, there is a familiarity there in their station and perhaps some of the early experiences they had growing up but knowing that laz chose his new family and mio still holds onto his old one is perhaps a very telling schism between the two. mio respects him deeply, in the way he respected his tutors from the many colleges of Akhenaton - they held power in what they knew, and that could be dangerous, unchecked.

Savita: it's hard to know where to start. savita brings out the worst in mio, the pettiness, the self-importance, the indignance. but she also has good advice and is undeniably smart about the world, though maybe not wise. he struggles with her. he doesn't really know if they will reconcile that, ever, and while i don't think he's interested in bridging the gap, he's forced to accept the perspective she brings to the table. his feelings towards her are summed up by begrudging acceptance with a sprinkling of "you've shot me in the head and also saved my ass in equal measure and my gratitude and my pettiness cancel each other out into vague ambivalence"

Zinnan: like the feywild weaves and bends to whimsy and fleeting thought, mio's perception of zinnan traverses very unsteady ground. they're fascinating to talk to and they make appealing offers, but they're so untrustworthy. they're purposeful in action, but so aimless in themselves. you look at them one way and they appear in another. mio always enjoys his conversations with them, but he's always left feeling like he lost something in the process. he can't get a bead on them, but his one comfort is that you can always trust the untrustworthy to be just that.

#c: maahes basekh #WHEW THIS WAS HEFTY #dnd: talisman

[suginami-division]

Ryuko’s Thoughts on Akihabara Division

Keiko Yumi

“Hey, it’s that Red of the Ambitious author… Yumi sensei, right? I got to do the storyboards and key animation for the fighting scenes in that anime, since the director thought it would be perfect for the ex-yakuza to compose. Pretty sure the studio did that to show how hard it can be working with the author, director, and writers to make Yumi sensei’s project into reality. And… Yeah, it was a lot to handle. I actually lost my temper a couple of times, which probably put a bad impression on Yumi sensei. But hey, it was a learning experience for me so I don’t really hold it against anyone involved.”

“Personally, I don’t have a problem with her. I just wish the rest of the team could have pulled their weight and give her series an adaptation it deserved. Getting an anime adaptation means a lot to the creator. Those bastards need to make the money put into the project worth every penny!”

Criss Hiromi

“Hah? A Youtuber who hunts for ghosts? Sounds stupid.”

“Only thing I can add is that she should be careful with what she does. Snooping around in places that don’t involve you can get you into some shit, especially if you see something you shouldn’t have. Just speaking from my own experience with skeptical kids like her.”

Nikki Yoshie

“Being a professional gamer sounds stressful as hell. That’s just me and my fucking temper speaking though. If I was as stone cold and serious as this Nikki girl, I’d probably enjoy having a job where I just play video games. Hopefully his kid likes it well enough. Otherwise, it wouldn't make any sense to stay in a job you hate.”

Otaku Corps

“Akihabara is a pretty small area, but it would be fun to take their territory. I mean, our team is basically a group of ‘otakus’ too, so really it should be ours to take! Hopefully we can get first dibs on it. I’m pumped just thinking about beating them out of their territory!”

#hypmic #hypnosis mic #hypnosis microphone #hypmic oc #hypnosis mic oc #hypnosis microphone oc #sazanka zombeez #suginami division #ryuko umemoto #akihabara division #keiko yumi #criss hiromi #nikki yoshie #otaku corps

[izzy-b-hands]

11V

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles! Except just the last one actually, and eventually another sort of vehicle! but that isn't nearly as catchy unfortunately.

More travel, a new plan, questionable food, booze spiked blood, and a disappearing act that ends up a reappearing act.

TW for alcohol, in blood specifically, mentions of a very old and bad sandwich, and unsanitary truck stop restroom conditions.

---

Izzy wakes to cool water on his aching, burning temple.

"You're alright," Ed murmurs. "Bullet scraped up the side of your forehead. Might scar some, but it'll look fucking cool, so that's something."

Izzy smiles weakly. "You almost had to learn what to do without me."

Ed stares at him. "I almost did."

"You and Stede would be okay."

"No, we wouldn't," Stede's voice joins them as he crawls to sit beside them in the middle row of seats. "I'm not okay right now as it is. I'm so sorry-"

"Is the fucker dead?"

Stede blinks, then nods. "We took care of him."

"To shreds," Ed says dreamily. "He won't be coming back from that."

Izzy sighs. "Good. Ed, where are we-"

"Jack has a contact at the coast," Ed interrupts. "They need someone to crew a replica ship for night and 'ghost tour' type tourist excursions. I used to sail, and Olu and Jim say they did too. The three of us will train everyone else and..."

He hesitates. "I know how it sounds. But we can lay low there for as long as we need, and make some extra money for the hell of it. If someone does come after us again for everything that happened, we'll just sail the fuck away!"

"Everyone is on board with this?" Izzy asks, wincing as Ed daps the damp cool cloth on his injury again.

Stede nods. "My crew is going to be a real crew! In a more original sense of the word...what do you say, Iz? Can't be any worse than driving from place to place."

He considers it. It certainly isn't worse, and he's never had the chance to work on a ship of any kind.

Ed had told him once that being turned was like gaining another life. It gave him time to explore and learn and see things he might not have otherwise.

"We should get going before the sun comes up," Izzy sighs. "We've a ways to go, for the coast. Sure they'd like us there sooner rather than later."

--

Each set of miles is a mutually held breath. Each truck stop at night an exhale.

In between, they feed, sitting on the ground or at concrete tables outside each truckstop entrance.

"Okay," Jim sighs. "Slim pickings, but we have chips and drinks and a sandwich but-"

"That's not a sandwich anymore," Izzy winces.

The plastic wrapped item is sandwich-shaped, but that's about all that signals it as one.

"Well," Jim starts defensively, then sighs. "It might be edible in bits though."

"Babe, it's got mold on it," Olu frowns.

"So?"

"On the outside of the wrapping," Olu continues. "I don't know if it can come back from that."

Jim nods. "Save it as bait for our meal?"

"Seems mean, but yeah, we could," Olu says. "Speaking of-"

"I got us covered," Jack grins and holds out four small silver flasks. "I forgot I had extra on the inside pockets of my coat!"

"Hang on," Ed catches Olu's hand as he reaches for one. "Are they...plain?"

"Nah, they got booze in 'em."

"I'm fine with that," Jim says.

Olu nods. "Better than plain, even."

Stede perks up. "If I put it in blood, I can still drink?"

Izzy laughs, though it hurts the slow healing wound on his head. "Yeah, you can. Jack almost exclusively eats that way."

"I do sponsorship shit for a couple brands of booze," Jack protests. "And I happen to really like their products! I'm a dedicated working man, Izzy."

"You're already tipsy," Izzy giggles. "Fuck, hand one over. After the last few days, I need it."

"Now," Ed shushes him. "It hasn't been that bad, and no one needs it exactly-"

"Yeah, but sometimes it can make things feel a hell of a lot better," Jack interrupts.

Ed nods. "That's true. And it has been shit, hasn't it?"

"We've murdered a good few people now, so it's not ideal," Olu notes, passing one of the flasks to Jim first.

"Is this anyone else's first murder?" The Swede, previously part of the security team for his ability to yell frighteningly in Swedish, asks. "Because it's my second, but this one feels so different."

"No, I know what you mean," Ed says. "Maybe it's because so many people saw? Usually people don't see me, with that. Izzy brings them home and..."

A brief silence falls, broken by Stede clearing his throat.

"You've murdered someone before, Swede?"

"I mean, we've all done it," Wee John nods.

Frenchie shakes his head as he digs into a small bag of chips. "Only pyramid schemes for me, and you know it. Nearly did kill one guy in Reno-"

"Is that why you keep telling people you can't go there to elope?" Olu asks.

Frenchie nods.

"Congrats!" Ed smiles. "Did we leave your fiancé back in town?"

"We're saving up," John replies. "He can't do Reno, and I can't do Miami."

"Any destinations in mind you guys don't have warrants in?" Jack asks. "Not trying to be rude, because that would be a short list for me personally, just curious."

Frenchie blushes. "New Orleans would be nice."

"It's expensive," John notes.

"Yeah, but there's an aquarium," Frenchie says. "We could get married in the aquarium!"

John smiles. "We could maybe keep it on the list then."

Jack passes another flask to Ed, while his other hand rifles through one of his interior jacket pockets.

"Here," Jack tosses John a wad of rolled cash. "It's all real, I promise. I can't make a daylight wedding, but I will bring a present to a night reception on Bourbon Street."

"Seriously?" Frenchie asks, peering over to examine the bills. "We can pay you b-"

"Nope," Jack cuts him off. "Consider it a wedding shower gift from me and the other vamps here, since I'm the only one with a current steady cash flow."

"Hey!" Stede cries, then frowns. "Oh. Oh right. Never mind."

"You'll get back to it," Buttons says, tearing into a stick of beef jerky.

"Where did he get that?" Stede asks, with a curious look to Izzy.

All he can do is shrug. At least Buttons has food.

Buttons swallows. "In another town, near the coast. Work the ship for a few years, then buy up something cheap and The Revenge will live again!"

Jack laughs and hollers. "I like this guy! Where did you get that though, fella?"

"We wanted to share."

Izzy turns, and takes a long sip as he stares up at the two men looking down at them.

He turns back as the mold covered sandwich nearly lands on top of him. There sits Jim, ready to bounce up and run.

"Fuck. That was supposed to hit them," they hiss, then in a shout:

"Scatter!"

--

"So," Izzy whispers. "We could have all probably just run for the van."

"Yeah," Jim replies. "That's what I meant. I thought it would be implied, but-"

"It's okay," Izzy says. "We all panicked."

"Wish we had panicked into different hiding spots," Ed grumbles. "Can they see the light from outside? I want to know what I'm touching here; why is it sticky?!"

"I think they can, and shut it!" Jack hisses. "They saw us all run in the same fucking bathroom anyway!"

"I actually do have to use the bathroom," Black Pete, the other member of The Revenge's security team, mumbles. "Whose shoe am I near right now?"

"Mine, and don't you dare," Olu whispers.

"I'm not gonna piss on your fucking shoe, man! I'm gonna aim around it near the toilet instead-"

"Lucius!" Jim whispers fiercely. "Help him!"

Lucius, Black Pete's boyfriend and self described 'bar float that floats to whichever person is drowning at the time', scoffs.

"How am I supposed to help him piss?! Just look outside and see if they're gone!"

Izzy grimaces as he leans his face and ear against the sticky, peeling metal door. "Let me listen-"

"We can hear fucking everything!"

He backs awkwardly onto Stede, out of room in the entirely too small one room, unisex bathroom.

"Come out and let that one guy use the fucking bathroom!"

Izzy looks back and shrugs as he flips the light switch. "Not like we can escape. We'll be out of your way in a minute, Pete."

They trail out, except for Pete, and face the two men again.

"Can I say my piece now?" the first says. "Or are you gonna throw another fucking gross sandwich at me?"

Not a word, and Izzy feels that's probably for their overall best.

"Okay then," the man continues. "I'm Ivan. This is my partner, Fang. Say hi, Fang."

Fang smiles sweetly, then hisses at them loud enough to make them jump.

"We were given an assignment," Ivan continues. "The Badminton family wants all of you dead. Police found Nigel's body-"

"What was left," Fang snickers.

"Right," Ivan nods. "And the family felt the police were taking their sweet time finding you all. We're a resource they occasionally use in times like this."

"Good, steady work," Ed smiles. "Admirable, and a very particular niche too!"

"Would you like to know what we do?" Ivan asks, pushing past Izzy and Stede to lean in to Ed's face.

"Enlighten me," Ed replies evenly, but his voice is ice cold. Izzy knows that particular tone, and tries to recall how many potential witnesses might be inside the showers of the stop.

"We make people disappear," Ivan replies, just as icily.

The bathroom door creaks open, and Pete steps out slowly.

"Ah. It's not going well."

--

Ivan and Fang join them in Wee John's van, directing him down seemingly random roads until their headlights are the only light pollution to be seen.

Fang directs them out of the van and into a field, trudging through sharp long grass.

"You know, you don't have to kill us," Lucius says. "Seems like a lot more work."

"Keen point," Jack adds. "I don't know about you two, but I love having less work."

"Who doesn't?!" Lucius cries. "So, we can all agree then-"

"Holy fuck, both of you shut u-"

Ivan pauses mid-step. As do they all, to take in each peculiarity of the scene.

Stede, his fangs stuck into the back of Ivan's neck, but not in far enough to feed.

Ivan, struggling to stay upright with the awkward weight of Stede hanging off of him.

"Sneak attack?" Izzy leans in and asks Stede.

"Yeagh," Stede manages.

"Okay," Izzy pats his back. "Maybe we can do some compromising now."

"Why would we do that?" Ivan asks.

"If you don't, my boyfriend will drain you," Izzy replies. "He could now, if he wanted."

"I can tell he can't," Ivan protests bluntly.

"You're in shock already," Izzy talks over him. "Shhh, it'll be over soon."

Izzy can feel Fang's eyes on him as he tries to push Ivan down so Stede can properly bite in.

He doesn't move though. Not even when Izzy finds himself trying to kick out Ivan's knees.

"You know," Fang muses. "Technically we don't have to kill them. The Badminton's paid us upfront, so as long as we come back with like...a chunk of someone's hair or some blood on a shirt as 'proof'..."

"Will you get your boyfriend out of my neck if I agree with that?" Ivan asks Izzy. "We let you live, and you get him out of my fucking neck, seriously, every time he wiggles I can feel his teeth moving in my neck, and-"

Izzy nods, and Lucius and Jack gently help Stede pry himself out of Ivan's neck.

Ivan shivers violently after, rubbing at the back of his neck. "Don't do that again, or I will kill you."

"In my defense, I tripped," Stede says.

"You fucking did not," Ivan scoffs. "Whatever, this isn't even fun anymore. Fang's right; they always pay upfront so as long as you swear to never go back-"

"Consider it done," Izzy interrupts. "Can we please go back to our van now?"

They trundle back to the van, oddly comfortably. Fang and Ivan make casual conversation, and things could be worse.

"Oh fuck no," Izzy murmurs as they near it. A figure near the back of the van steps out, and he has the worst feeling-

"I thought I killed him?" Stede asks. "Izzy, you saw him. Chauncey was dead!"

"We should have mentioned that," Fang winces. "Nigel turned Chauncey after you guys bolted, but I don't think he expected it to take with how far gone Chauncey was. I guess it worked."

"Looks like," Izzy sighs. He wants to rest somewhere that isn't the back of a van. He wants a shower, and to cuddle with Ed and Stede.

For now, he'll settle for killing Chauncey. Certainly better than nothing.

#text post #ofmd fic #steddyhands #stizzy #vampire au

[the-crying-king]

If I'm going on this journey, I might as well make it an adventure

A lot of times I get stuck in this endless tunnel of hopelessness and trying to put my energy into the same stupid things over and over to try and make it work. I keep thinking "this time it will be different" "this job will actually work out" "maybe I'll be happy after I start this job". Endlessly waiting for things to work out. I realized I've been trying the same thing over and over and over again. And that is most certainly INSANITY by definition.

(no wonder I feel like I'm going insane)

I've come back to my senses and grounded myself and realized I'm in charge of this shit. I can do whatever the fuck I want. Do what will bring me joy. Sure life sucks with the regular stuff like bills, stress, relationships or mental health struggles.

I see so many people that get older and they get caught up in doing the societal norms and working consistently at a job for many years just to keep saying "one day this will all pay off and I'll be able to enjoy life then". Unfortunately, so many of those people don't ever see those benefits, they die before actually living the life they wanted. They did what everyone told them what was best for them.

They lost their dreams..

I'm moving 1,000 miles away in about a month. I kept telling myself I wouldn't, I won't like it, I can make things work here. I boiled the town down to a big soul crushing place. I've come to realize; it doesn't matter where I am, I can find beauty anywhere, I can choose to see things in different lights, and things really are what you make it. previously I was convinced that this will be the end of me, this move to somewhere foreign to my mind and out of my comfort zone would make me miserable.

I didn't think about what new things I could lay my eyes on that I hadn't seen before, people that could share their stories with me, things I can learn, things I can create. Even the crappiest motel can have charm to it. I guess it really is all about perspective.

I've decided that I won't be trapped in this endless cycle of "one day" that society confines us to. I get too caught up in the future or in the past that I forget about right now.

If you've read this far, a little advice maybe? - Someone important once told me that every day is like you're on a train, going along your path. It's moving so quickly that you forget what it's like to move slow and easy. As your train rushes, occasionally there's a spark on the track. Sinc you're so focused on an unknown destination, you don't notice those tiny sparks of light. In every moment of everyday, even the bad ones, you have to stay present, take in your surroundings.

Here's an example: I'm late to everything. EVERYTHING. And in turn it honestly affects my mood and my day, I don't feel great about it. Therefore, I'm running on anxiety and irritability while rushing to wherever I need to be. Do I really have time to "slow down and live in the moment"?? HELL NO. However, one day I was running late for work and of course stuck in traffic, while sitting in a dead stop on the highway I was STILL just focused on getting there and the anxiety taking over. (Like that's going to get me there any faster??) I stopped myself from spiraling, and decided "well, if I'm going to be stuck here for a moment, I might as well make the most of it". I took in my surroundings and ended up seeing a dog in a couple cars ahead which made me smile. I looked up and noticed the sun was blocked by massive clouds and made the sky look like a painting. The trees around me were turning colors for fall which I hadn't even noticed! By being present in the moment I made my drive to work go from hell and a foreseen panic attack later at work, to actually enjoyable. To my surprise it actually changed my attitude for the entire day, I started noticing little things that I would have missed otherwise.

Even the worst of days have a tiny spark of light.

End note I guess- Be creative and do what humans are meant to do, LIVE and EXPERIENCE life, not just survive it. Slow down and savor the moment, moments you might miss otherwise. Do what will fulfill YOUR life and soul. Stop holding yourself back from your own happiness.

#Personal note #Told from a mentally ill person #be creative

[bishiglomper]

We went to the bar~

This morning I made myself get up at 12 even though I'd only gotten like 3 hours of sleep. Because I heard people about.

But then I found out sissy and them were going back out so I'm like, oh, fuck it then. I'm getting more sleep.

Which mom got offended over, because it sounded like I didn't care whether she was still there. I was too tired to dispute her. I did amend with "unless you wanna do something (like tv)" but she said no. I would have come sat on her bed for a visit after sissy announced they were leaving but then mom went out for a smoke and I wasn't waiting around.

I got 2 more hours and got up when I heard them sharing with mom again. I sat on her bed and asked if she wanted to go to the bar thing. I somehow ended up needing to say "I enjoy your company, mommy. Yes mommy, I do." Because she knew Brian was gonna take me. I had to clarify he offered himself, I didn't go behind her back like "you take me instead"

Oh yeah. This morning he had a panic attack so he ended up in my bed at 6am and I told him I was going today. So he looked it up and offerred to take me. I was surprised. Pleased tho.

He would be good company. He's shy and introverted too but he also knows how to shoot the shit so.... yeah. He used to have his own (inherited) barber shop.

But mom was so put out. So I kept reiterating how she had first dibs.

We got there. A nice patron at the above bar directed to the "the cellar door" where the bar we were headed to was.

Tiny stairs in the corner. Little okd fashioned lamp and ivy at the door. Bombarded with an incense-y smell when you go in. Sage, maybe? It was nice. Not smokey. It looks classy. There's brick and vine decor. Besides the music it could have been a speakeasy.

Literally only 3 people were there excluding us and the bartender.

I sat next to the peoples at the bartop. I was pretty sure one was the admin to the LGBT group, my ex- DM but I wasn't super sure.

I ordered an espresso martini. It was supposed to.be $11. But bartender only took 10 so I tipped him the extra buck. Then found out my drink was supposedto come with a cookie, so maybe that was why lol.

It came in a little teacup! It was so yummy. Coffee stuff is hit or miss with me so I was happy. Drank that sucker down.

Mom wasn't getting a drink and she's quiet too. I eventually asked if she wanted to move to this fancy little couch they had up on the little stage in the corner. She jumped up like yes pls.

Where we continued to sit in silence.

It took me away from people and we didn't have anything to chat about. Music was nice, alt rock stuff. But after 20 minutes I'm like falling asleep so I said we could go.

DM at the bar waved goodbye at me

Like dude. I stared at you long enough to at least acknowledge me, even after the person between us left, you couldn't work with me then?? (´∇｀;)ﾉ I wasn't sure it was him! But he wouldn't make eye contact! Otherwise I would waved like "Hey, you" oof. Would have had stuff to talk about.

But whatever.

I told bro he could take me next week.

The FB event said it was this Thursday, then it amended to next week instead, THEN it said EVERY Thursday. So that works for me

Hell, if it's that quiet every Thursday I wouldn't mind going by myself. I can manage 3-10 people in the whole bar lol

I'm gonna have to learn some cocktail recipes because i don't know any and they only had like a menu of the day sort of thing. I only know my favorite drink, a pineapple upside down cake. 👀

Maybe I can even get my sissy to go with me sometime

#long post #just rambling

[mesozoic-system]

waves!! hello. i'm a simple anon. with opinions people would call now controversial. i believe that there are two genders and three sexualities. maybe saying that here isn't safe but that's okay!! i'm willing to learn everyday about all types of things. i wish to be a person who still had those opinions but respects people nonetheless. who am i to treat people any differently? we're all people in the end who are suffering with their own types of problems. a little bit of kindness goes a long way. i do hope that people don't see me as some type of monster or horrible human for my opinions. what do you think?

I think you chose the wrong blog to ask this to. You've most likely sent this to multiple blogs, looking for a fight. No offense, opinions or not, you're going out of your way to start drama. That's the issue with people like you. You say you're respectful, then turn around and start shit like this. You wouldn't seriously walk up to a transgender person out in public and ask this, would you?

I sure as hell hope not.

What you're doing is taking advantage of the internet's anonymity and using it to hurt people. You're not a monster. I appreciate your willingness to learn, but there are so many different ways you could have done this. I'm not going to try to change your mind because you ask me to, and I hope you don't expect strangers to defend themselves for how they live their life.

However, in the very slim chance that you're actually curious and not just poking random LGBTQ+ people for shits and giggles, I can give you a few sources. You can read those.

Next time, consider changing your wording. For example:

"I have a few questions about [insert topic]. Do you mind if I ask you a few of them so I can understand it better?"

"Hello, I was hoping to ask someone who is part of the LGBTQ+ a couple of questions. I don't quite understand it. Is there any way you could talk about your experiences?"

"Hi! I'm not part of the LGBTQ+, and I'm slightly skeptical. Perhaps you, being part of the community, could give me some inside advice?"

Here's some sources you can use to learn more. Please don't go around telling people what your opinions are, especially if they're hurtful or offensive. Just because you're polite, doesn't mean you're doing a good thing.

Please consider doing your own research before confronting someone next time.

#[🪐] saturn #lgbtq+ #pride #transgender #anti-lgbtq+

[anemia-rp]

-Xuan listened to Teru talk, taking in the new information the younger shared and once he was done, he nodded. - I don't know, I guess a part of me might've been slightly influenced by the way I was raised in my first few years of life. All I can say is that those few blurry memories from back then made me resent and hate deeply my grandparents and uncles. But hey, their shit way of treating me allowed me to develop my survival skills and abilities from an early age, so that's that. If it weren't for my affinity for petty theft and evading tricky situations, I wouldn't have met my step-dad nor impressed him enough for him to decide to give me a chance and take me under his wing. Long story short, he was impressed by how a 4 year old could outsmart 2 fully grown men trained in martial arts and he decided to recruit me into his organization's youth program. He was also the one who named me after the color of my eyes. - Xuan turns to look at Teru briefly, a smile playing at the corners of his lips and a somewhat warmth in his usually cold green eyes. -

That bootcamp is what helped me develop my skills further and allowed me to get the education I otherwise wouldn't have gotten. And there's also where I met my only ever best friends. - A slight feeling of nostalgia crept into his voice, making it crack a bit. Maybe that subject was a can of worm for another time. -

Anyways, in regards to your family, I can only say to hell with your dad for not acknowledging what a great man you are. Who the fuck cares if you like to fuck men instead of chicks? I am bisexual too and that never stopped me from reaching my full potential. And don't ever call your music trash, okay? You are a talented young man and an amazingly good artist! I'm ready to kill anyone who dares say otherwise, and just so you know, for a fact, I never say things I don't mean. Flattery is something I do extremely rare. - The raven haired then gave him another pat on the head and pulled him closer, so that Teru would lean against his shoulder. - I'm sure your grandpa would be fucking proud of who you are now, Teru! And you should be damn proud of yourself too! - There was no ounce of irony in Xuan's words. The man was as serious as can be. -

Always try to see the positive side of things! Yeah, could be it strenghtened you. If no one's got your back you learn to do things your own way and how to go for what you love even without any support and getting met with resistance. -he could relate quite well to this himself, maybe not in such an extreme way, but he had never buried his dreams despite the words of his parents and teachers- Guess that's been your fate then. The path that was predestined for you! -he smiled back at Xuan and felt a prickling warmth in his stomach, not only because of how beautiful this man was but because of how entrusting he was towards Teru; this wasn't self-evidental at all, he knew this, and he could hear how emotional this all made him so Teru swallowed thickly in compassion, his big eyes glinting as if tears were about to well up for a moment-

My parents are rather on the traditional side, you know? And I became a rebel…but never really in a bad way…if you don't mention booze and cigarettes! -he laughed and sighed then in a touched way, the other's words making him feel even more warm and fuzzy inside- No worries, I truly believe in my music, that's why we came so far and have fans all over the world. -he happily shifted closer and rubbed his cheek against Xuan's shoulder, halfway closing his eyes in bliss because he was treated so well- Thank you, Xuan. Sometimes I falter because I'm absolutely perfectionistic, but I know, I know! I'm some pretty great fucker, huh?

@phoenix-of-jade