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#but i want to have something to show potential employers
d0d0-b0i · 1 year
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an old cowboy and his apprentice
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Demo: (Release Date: when i figure out twine, and then a week)
Life was never easy, but the day you first found your talent for less than legal practices, it certainly got easier. And when you finally got taken in by a nosy noble who could appreciate your talents, life finally seemed like it was looking up. But the highlife isn't all it was cracked out to be. You had to leave behind your best friend for this chance at the high life, and that's not even to mention all the enemies you've made while in service of the person who brought you in. Was it worth it? Can you keep your skeletons nice and tidy in your closet? Or will the past prove to have a few too many chips on its shoulder. ------------- This is a game about many things. Struggling to find meaning in your own life, trying to cling to those you care about as life drags you apart, and what can happen when you don't make peace before the storm. You take on the role of a peasant with a talent for the illegal, be that quick hands or a quicker wit. After years of dealing with the dirt of life to make a living, you get taken in (read, bought into service) of a noble who claims to have nothing but good intentions. They want to expose other nobility for their wrongdoings while climbing the ranks themselves. Will you be willing to remain loyal to their cause, or is money truly the only thing motivating you? That remains up to you to decide. Golden Hearts, Silver Tongues is rated 18+ for explicit language, mature themes, drug and alcohol use and abuse, violence, thoughts and mentions of suicide, self-harm, death and mental trauma. -------------
Customizable MC, choose your gender, pronouns, appearance, sexuality, romantic attraction, personality, history with some characters, potential disabilities, and most importantly, how you choose to go about your crimes. Are you a smooth talker, or someone who prefers actions over words?
Romance one of four available ROs? Will you fall back to your tumultuous Ex/Ex Best Friend? Or perhaps your new coworker or Boss? Or perhaps the most dangerous, the Ex-Noble hunting you down?
Struggle with Morality as you get pulled in different directions. What constitutes good anyways? And let's be honest, do you even care about being good at this point?
Resolve all of your lingering issue, before choosing how to move forwards. To remain trapped by the chains of your past, or to cast it all off and move forwards, unburdened. Ignorance is bliss, after all.
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Romance Options:
The Rival (F, Cis or Trans selectable) - Your one and only friend in the early days of your life, and perhaps something more? You two grew up together and often were the only ones each other had. Perhaps she was your best friend, your lover, or someone you were so close to you could consider them family. Regardless, whatever she was, she isn't anymore. A fight caused a rift between you two, and now you two aren't on talking terms, much less anything else. So, when she shows up to one of your jobs, to steal the same items no less, is it any surprise things don't go well? Tropes - Exes to Lovers, Childhood Crush, Exfriends to Lovers, Rivals/Enemies to Lovers
The Boss (M, F, NB selectable) - The person who scooped you off the streets and showed you what the high life was like, and all you had to do was steal whatever they told you. Simple enough, right? You'd think. In practice, it seems like they keep upping the ante on your targets and at some point, you have to wonder whether or not this is all born out of good intentions. Though, with the looks they keep sending your way, perhaps more than just your skills have captivated them? No, that couldn't be true. After all, a noble and a peasant would cause far too much of an uproar for the already tumultuous figure that is your boss. Right? Gender Footnote - If NB, the Boss will be Agender. Tropes - Forbidden Love, Age Gap, Nobility x Peasant, Employer x Employee
The Coworker (M, Cis or Trans selectable) - A surprise your boss sprung on you just a few months ago, he is another noble who embraced your Boss' rhetoric and now wants to help reveal the darker side of the Kingdom. It's a shame he doesn't know what he's doing, but luckily (or unluckily), that is where you come in. Tasked to show him the ropes of thieving, you must figure out how to teach this eager learner what you've known all your life. He might not have quick hands, nor can he lie to save his life, but if there's one thing, he knows it's how to get up after a failure. And that surely has no correlation to all the gifts of his you've ignored over the years, right? Tropes - Coworkers to Lovers, Master x Apprentice, First Crush, Himbo, Potentially Grumpy x Sunshine
The Baron (M, F, NB selectable) - Hate is a strong word. Luckily, the Baron is a strong person. The first major noble your Boss ever sent you after, they by far had the hardest fall from grace out of anyone you know. Going from ruling an entire quarter of the Kingdom, to being nothing more than a rogue knight hunting you down for revenge. It's a shame they still have so much money at their disposal to hunt you with, and for all that it's worth, they are very good at finding you. Catching you, not so much. You always manage to just barely evade their capture....surely nothing to think about. Gender Footnote - If NB, the Baron will be Genderfluid. Tropes - Hate-Hate Relationship, Enemies to Lovers, Murder makes people hot, Villian Route, Potentially Redemption Arc
------------- Note Zone: Hey there! Thanks for reading all the way through this. This little place down here is where I plan on placing things like links in the future, and also any notes on progress or big topics and stuff that comes up. For now, all asks are welcomed, and once again thank you!
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Heyyy I'm sooo happy that you're back ! I hope you're doing ok now ! Make sure to take good care of yourself.☺️
if it's not too much, can we have some Verosika and fizzarolli headcanons with a lil sister reader (platonic obviously)
"Little Sis" ; Fizzarolli, Verosika Mayday
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Look. You're probably the only one he actually kept around after the whole incident with the circus and following him into his employment with Mammon.
You get to see him at his absolute worst, when he's struggling with Mammon, the abuse, the exploitation, you get a front-row seat to every breakdown and panic attack.
And he had the desire to keep you out of that life. Forever. So he'd never let you attend any performances or shows where Mammon was present.
You could see him at Ozzie's, see all the cool songs and tricks he could do, but other than that? He didn't want to risk Mammon scouting you as potential talent. He thinks he'd go insane if something ever happened to put you in the position he's in.
"But Fizz, why can't I ever see you at the Clown Pageant?"
"Y/N, it's... It's not a nice place. If it were, I'd let you, but... please. For me, don't argue with me. I don't... want you seeing what I do there."
Of course, reluctantly, you agree. If it's that important to him, he must be being truthful that there are things you'd just rather not see there.
But after Fizz quits? He shows you all the videos online of Ozzie protecting him. :)
Speaking of!! You get to meet and chill with Ozzie! A total gentleman towards both you and your big brother, and you can see the way Fizzarolli's face flushes whenever Ozzie holds his hand or makes a sweet compliment.
Honestly, Asmodeus is one of the few people who's been able to make your brother smile and laugh throughout the duration of his absolute misery.
And of course, it's important for Asmodeus to meet his future sister-in-law!
You've spent your entire life making him happy. And now that he's free, he can finally return the favor. :))
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Verosika's sibling? I doubt you're not part of her posse, and therefore, famous alongside her and her clique. Both in Hell and on Earth.
She calls you "sis", "bro", or "sib", depending on what pronouns you use.
"Hey, sib! Coco and Apple and I are going shopping, wanna come? Last one in the car's a fucking virgin."
She's a pretty irresponsible big sister, honestly. She'll swear, make innuendos, and take you places you probably shouldn't be. But the second someone actually tries some shit on you, it's over. Those heels of hers are rather painful when embedded in someone's dick, after all.
You were with her through her breakup with Blitzø, and you, like Fizz's sibling, also got to see her at her worst. Baggy hoodies, runny mascara, ice cream, filthy hair, depression... The works. She never meant for you to see her like that. It was jarring, and she knows it, to see someone so confident and sweet become so broken and petty.
But on the plus side, she ended up giving you a ton of things because she wanted to try and salvage all the relationships she already had, with you, with her posse, hell, probably even with your guys' parents.
She's also super protective of you. As a succubus in Hell, she knows better than almost anyone else how touchy and unwelcomely handsy others can be with your kind. So she always makes sure to have some pepper spray on her, at the very least, plus teaching you the whole 'keys between the fingers' trick.
"Okay, so you stick each of these keys between your fingers... Yeah, like that! And then you punch 'im in the dick. And if it's a lady? Ditch the keys, purple nurple her."
It's honestly a bit eerie how well-versed she is, but hey, it's Hell, a girl's gotta protect herself somehow. And she'll be damned if her little sibling can't do it, either.
You have your spats, but deep down, the both of you love each other. Nothing could change that.
I hope you enjoy never sleeping, though, because damn, her karaoke nights last forever- At least she can sing, I guess-
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semisolidmind · 8 months
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“he won't say it aloud, but...had it been him who'd been found and tended to by reader, azure couldn't be sure he wouldn't have made the same choice as his brothers.��
…Semi, could I persuade you to make a little something (art, fic, headcanons, whatever you wish) for this concept? Please?
If you’d rather not, totally fine. Please feel free to delete this. No worries!
(this got longer than expected:))
he'd try to persuade her, at first.
after she found him in her backyard, in a crater of his own making having fallen from battle, battered and bleeding, after she brought him into her home and cared for him...
...he'd gotten attached.
the two became close, and as azure got stronger he began to realize that he'd have to go home eventually. he and his brotherhood had a job to do, and he couldn't abandon it to play house. but— but he'd become so used to waking up with reader by his side. he'd learned so much about mortal life while living with her, and his sympathies towards humans had grown.
noone had ever treated him as gently as reader had. even knowing what he is, the potential threat he posed to her, she still saved him. he's eternally grateful for her help. azure doesn't want to leave her behind.
the night he decides to leave, he asks her to leave with him, to go with him to his home in camel ridge.
she declines.
she's fine here, she says. it's a very kind offer, but she doesn't mind her work or her employers, and– and what would a handsome demon lord like him want with a human like her, anyway? he should go and be with his brothers, she says (reader internally panics, she'd hoped this wouldn't happen, she'd hoped those stories about demons kidnapping women were fake, she really really hoped she wasn't about to be stolen and potentially eaten—).
azure pauses, standing silent before her. what he wants with her? he can't give a proper answer to that (at least not in polite company), but he wants to show his gratitude. he wants to at least reward reader for her kindness. please, just go with him, he'll give her a good life, he promises.
but reader declines again, stepping back from him. her eyes betray her growing fear.
azure is silent. the gentle, pleading expression has dissapeared from his face, replaced by a cold dissatisfaction.
he didn't want to do it this way.
but he is a demon. and demons are inherently selfish creatures, no matter what noble lies they choose to live by.
azure steps forward. reader steps back.
please don't, she begs, voice wavering. he doesn't respond.
reader doesn't have time to even scream before azure seizes her by the waist, putting her over one broad shoulder. she beats her fists on his back, kicks wildly against the paw holding down her thighs, begs him please, please don't do this. azure solemnly opens a portal gate with his regained powers, stepping through it, carrying reader back to his home.
–––
some time passes.
once reader has better settled into her role as azure lion's..."companion" ("captive" is more fitting, she thinks. or perhaps "pet"), the demon decides to bring her along to a council meeting at the home of the demon army's leader, the monkey king. azure is unsure what his simian comrade will think of reader, but if his closest brothers could come to accept her place at his side, then perhaps wukong could be convinced as well.
the first meeting goes smoothly. perhaps too smoothly, azure thinks with slight bitterness.
he saw the way wukong looked at his human companion throughout the council. he didn't say much beyond asking her name and purpose, but his interest was clear. azure wrote it off as a simple fascination with a mortal companion; it is fairly uncommon for high-ranking demons to keep humans for much beyond servants or food.
azure continued to bring reader along to their council meetings (unable to leave her at home unsupervised), and the monkey king began to speak with her more and more (occasionally running off with her when he wanted to show her some orchard or village on the mountain, to meet his people... the two would be gone for a while). azure didn't think much of it at first beyond a light sense of caution. however, every time reader laughed at wukongs antics, or followed him away from the group...there was a sting in the lion's chest he would hesitate to identify.
he wasn't sure if the king's friendliness was a ploy to harm reader in some way. wukong was known to dislike humans, having dealt with hunters attempting to capture and kill his ilk more than once. so to see him take an avid interest in reader, to seek out her company after the meetings were over and the brotherhood took time for leisure ... azure wasn't sure what to make of it. the infamous monkey king, known for his cruelty, determination, and bloodlust— befriending a human woman.
it sounded ridiculous, even as azure watched it happen before him.
however, when wukong himself approached the lion demon to none-too-subtley ask that he give reader up, the absolute madness of it all struck him.
wukong, in his winding roundabout way, suggests that azure allow reader to stay on flower fruit mountain. see, she and wukong have been talking; she obviously loves it here, she's here all the time during meetings anyways, and she's clearly gotten attached to the monkey citizens... sooooo why not just let her stay? not like there's much for her on camel ridge, he says flippantly.
oh, and not to mention the fact that reader doesn't seem to be all that attached to azure anyway. oh she's his friend, maybe, but that's it. just following him around, speaking when spoken to. she's clearly dissatisfied with her placement. at least wukong plans on wooing her properly; he'll make her his queen, not just a glorified pet.
azure has to restrain the thunderous growl that wants to escape his grit fangs at this absolutely ludicrous suggestion. the jealousy that's been bubbling in his chest begins to seep through to his words. wukong can't just, just—demand reader from him! he hates that he has to word it this way, but he took reader fair and square. finders keepers, by demonic rule. the answer is a resounding no, and a "polite" request that the monkey never bring it up again.
a moment of silence, the two demons staring each other down—before wukong seemingly shrugs it off. oh well, he sighs. so be it.
wukong walks away, calm as can be, not even an aggravated twitch of his tail to indicate his true feelings.
but azure's hackles are raised. he knows wukong well enough to know that he hasn't actually dropped this.
the monkey king is simply biding his time.
---
after azure's vehement refusal, wukong rolls his shoulders and sighs. he tried asking nicely, but if azure won't play fair, then neither will the monkey king.
besides, he's more of a "ask for forgiveness, not permission" kinda guy anyways (and he doesn't expect forgiveness). later on that evening, he signals to macaque (who has also grown quite fond of reader, though more secretively) that it's time to roll out plan b.
because y'know, wukong's been thinkin.' maybe his and azure's interests haven't exactly been lining up lately, and not just in the reader department. the monkey king has noticed that azure and his allies have been changing their minds about this whole conquesting on earth business. they want to pool their forces and take on heaven.
now, wukong knows a thing or two about that, and he knows that even with all the might of the demon armies at their disposal, azure and the gang stand about three quarters of a chance. it doesn't help that the original brotherhood members (namely peng and yellowtusk) have been getting kinda uppity lately.
so, why not hit two birds with one stone? or in this case...one bird, one elephant, and one lion.
wukong has macaque take a lil' trip down to the underworld to steal the scroll of memory, an artifact that allows one to trap anyone in a hell of their own making. the darker-furred demon makes quick work of the assignment.
the monkey king and the six-eared macaque then pay the lords of camel ridge a little visit to announce their...severance from the demon alliance.
---
reader wakes up in an unfamiliar bed.
or rather, an unfamiliar...pile of pillows and blankets? in a pit? in the floor? it's surprisingly comfortable all things considered.
however, a drowsy look around the room tells her this is most definitely not the den of her feline captor, and she certainly isn't in her chambers at the palace in camel ridge; the presence of greenery inside the room clued her in there. her nerves began to rise. where is she?
her question is partially answered by wukong pushing his way inside the room, macaque in tow (both are dressed far more casually than normal, wearing simple pants and robes that she's never seen them in). reader startles, scooting back as they move closer. the boys step into the pit and sit across from her. the two simian demons wish reader good morning and ask how she slept.
reader is too stunned to answer.
macaque laughs at the expression on her face, a fond look overcoming his own as he takes in her sleep-disheveled appearance. you're in the royal chambers in the stone palace, to answer your question, he says. he's sure she wants answers about how she came to be here, and he's about to speak when wukong excitedly talks over him.
something has happened to azure and his brothers, he says. it must have, because the king and the general found reader knocked out in a peach grove not far from the entrance to water curtain cave. they brought her inside, of course, but were unable to wake her. perhaps a sleep spell, macaque suggests.
when the monkeys went to investigate camel ridge, they could find no sign of the brotherhood. the warlords admit they have no idea what could have become of their allies, but insist that reader must stay with them until this mystery is solved. she doesn't mind, right? she'll be well taken care of here, and she's more than welcome to stay in the royal chambers (she'll want the two monkey demons to keep her warm, after all the stone palace can get so cold at night—). the monkey citizens will be excited to see her, they'll be glad to hear she's staying. it'll be great! wukong happily assures.
reader admittedly isn't... unhappy about this arrangement. she doesn't want to be rude, but flower fruit mountain is much more hospitable than the lifeless sandstone of camel ridge. quite frankly she's come to prefer the company of wukong and macaque over her once captor, and the friendly mountain residents over two impassive demon lords.
if reader had to choose into whose hands her chain and collar would be placed—she could think of many worse than these two.
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victoriansecret · 11 months
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Servants and Upward Mobility
This is focused on paid servants in England in the mid-late 18th century. One thing I find fascinating about the structure of domestic service roles was the existence of what essentially we might call a career ladder today. It was not uncommon for a servant to start their career near the bottom of the hierarchy as, say, a boot boy who cleans the shoes and boots of the household, or the scullery maid who does all the dirty kitchen work like scrubbing iron cooking vessels or plucking chickens, but progressively move up the list to better positions.
Part of why this was the case was that it was typical in England to hire servants for one year terms at a time. Often they'd be hired at festivals on the quarter days of the year, which as part of the festivities would often include what today we'd call a job fair. For some reason, Michaelmas (September 29) seems to be the most common as far as I can tell. I had never really thought about why that might be until I started planning this post, and I now wonder if it might have something to do with that being right around when harvest time usually comes in England. I could easily imagine people, especially young people, being on the cusp of another labourious harvest and thinking that maybe they could find another job instead. Related tangent: There are a number of remarks in the period that servants from the northern parts of England were considered to be much more respectful than servants from more populated, urban areas. Those communities were (at least considered to be) a lot stricter about remembering one's place and respecting your social 'betters', and their behaviour as servants was believed to reflect that. Some people would actively have their agents look to hire people from those rural areas, and apparently it was easy to attract potential employees: there are a number of remarks about how when a fancy carriage would drive through a small town, with the fancily-liveried footmen riding on the back, it would bring young people to stare in awe and want to be part of that. Which as someone whose interest in domestic service started in part because of my obsession with livery, I can understand. Anyway, back to the main point: because they often served one-year terms, there was an annual chance for both parties - the servant and the served - to review and determine how to move forward. A servant who was favoured might negotiate for a new position in the household, at least one step higher on the ladder (if not more), and they had leverage because they could leave the field entirely or possibly go off to a new household and find a higher position there. There was also a practice of asking for your master or mistress to provide a "character", essentially what we would today call a reference: a letter to show potential employers detailing their behaviour and skill in their role. Certainly there were times that some employers refused to give a good character, and sometimes that was explicitly because they wanted to keep the servant because they were a valuable asset to their household, but it was considered part of the obligation of the master class to be honest in these.
And it is not at all uncommon to find people who have served many different people/households throughout their career. The most I have seen is 28, although that's slightly misleading: that was a man who decided he wanted to travel, so hired himself to gentleman going on journeys for the duration of the trips, many of which were only a couple months. (The book he published, which he wrote about his travels and the "exotic" places and people he encountered, is interesting, and for my purposes super helpful because he turned out to be a narcissist and wrote a lot about himself, including his career as a servant. It's the only quasi-memoir of a paid servant from this time I am aware of. I might write a post about it/him sometime. I digress.) [continued in next post]
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ineffable-suffering · 7 months
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Why Aziraphale is an unreliable narrator
Part 3: The Story of the Magic Show in 1941
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Let me at first put a small index for you here, since this is a three part meta and you might want to read the posts that precede this one:
Part 1: The Story of Job
Part 2: The Story of wee Morag
... and now: Welcome to the final Part 3! We made it! Or well, we will have, soon-ish. Because let me give you a fair warning: This one is definitely the longest one out of the three. And by long I mean literally almost 5k words long. Mainly because there's a lot to work with since the 1941 minisode is less mini and more the entirety of S2E4 and also, in my opinion, needs a lot more context than the others. But! That shan't discourage me, as I am currently stuck in bed with a bit of a sore throat, a steaming cuppa tea and an entire afternoon to spare.
So, for the third and final time in this meta series: Let's get cracking! Under! The! Cut!
I shall spare you another summary of the points I have made so far and, should you not have read or remembered them, I kindly redirect you to the end of Part 1 and the beginning & end of Part 2, where I summarize most of it. Don't worry, the link to this post will be in both of them, so you can hop right back once you're done!
On commence with some needed context.
I think one of the most important things to point out at the very beginning here, is that unlike with the other minisodes, we don't have a direct indicator that this is once again one of Aziraphale's memories or diary entries. In the Story of Job, we see him read the part in the Bible and actively immersing himself into the flashbacks (so deeply, even, that Crowley leaves in between, since Aziraphale seems to be so intensely lost in thought). And the Story of wee Morag is being narrated to us by past Aziraphale's diary entry.
All we see before the start of this episode's minisode, however, is Aziraphale driving the Bentley before Shax unconsensually hitchhikes with him and then leaves again. The title squence rolls and we're in London, 1941. And once the minisode ends, it's also not with Aziraphale looking like he just remembered something or a shot of his diary, but instead with present day Shax going to Beelzebub to request permission for the attack on the bookshop and then Aziraphale arriving in Soho, back from his trip to Edinburgh.
It's safe to say, therefore, that these two somehow indicate why and when the 1941 flashback starts and ends the way it does. And they do! You just have to listen and look closely, because the hint of whose memory this is, is a bit more subtle. Let's take it bit by bit.
Shax reveals herself to Aziraphale, catching him off guard. ("You have the advantage on me." "I do, yes.") She then go on to introduce herself as "former admissions demon" and ...
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"Now, a Hell's ambassador planner, potentially plenipotentiary* to this corner of the planet. Replacing the demon Crowley."
*(Thank you for pointing this subtitle error out in the comments, @odonataanisoptera!)
At first sight, this might seem like no new information. We already know this, we have seen Crowley and Shax talk multiple times, we know Shax is Crowley's hellish successor and we know Shax now lives in Crowley's flat in Mayfair and, due to that unfortunate circumstance, Crowley in his car. You know who doesn't know this yet?
That's right: Aziraphale!
Neil himself confirmed that the reason why Aziraphale hasn't yet asked Crowley to move into the bookshop is because he doesn't know Crowley is living in his car! Which also indirectly implies that he hasn't told Aziraphale yet that he's no longer Hell's representative on Earth! Massive communication issues aside, this means that four years after Armagedidn't, Aziraphale is realizing for the very first time that Crowley is no longer officially employed by Hell.
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Which is quite big news! We don't really know what Aziraphale's exact state of employment is with Heaven, but we do know from Crowley saying so (to Shax, again) in S2E1, that they no longer talk to him and he no longer reports back to them about his work. We can therefore deduct that he isn't actively operating as Heaven's ambassador on Earth anymore – on Heaven's own volition.
After they pulled off their body swap stunt post Armagedidn't, Crowley and Aziraphale of course secured themselves some temporary freedom from both Heaven and Hell. But it was only ever that, right? Temporary. Crowley says so himself at the end of Season 1: "They'll leave us alone ... for a bit." Sure, they were both sort of free to do whatever they wanted, but up until this very moment in the Bentley with Shax, Aziraphale thought he was the only one out of the two of them who had not only been let off the leash a little but also, so to speak, let go from his former employment. Which really explains his genuine, surprised look once Shax lets him know she's officially Crowley's replacement.
Their body swap trick gave them some breathing space, yes, but that's still entirely different than actually officially being let go from your job obligations and duties. What Aziraphale doesn't know either, however, (because again, Mr. Anthony J. Can't-Communicate-Crowley hasn't let him known), is that despite having been replaced and technically absolved of his hellish duties, Hell still very much relies on and demands things of Crowley. And also that Crowley himself hasn't been able to drop his weariness and worries since he still seems to seek out any and every information he can get on what's going on in the Up and Down. David Tennant said in an interview about Season 2:
"[...] interestingly, when we first meet Crowley, he's on a park bench catching up with the person who's taken his job. He obviously can't quite let go. He still wants the updates, and he still wants to know what's going on."
There's just so awfully much Crowley isn't telling Aziraphale – but that's stuff for another meta.
Either way, it eeks me a bit that we don't certainly know how much and what exactly Crowley has told Arziraphale about Shax – but it clearly can't have been all to much, since the Bentley conversation is their first encounter and Aziraphale doesn't even seem to know what Shax looks like, let alone that she's Crowley's new replacement. Crowley must have mentioned her to Aziraphale at one point or another pre-S2, because he does name-drop her when Aziraphale is about to reveal the appearance of Jimbriel ("You'll never guess who Shax was asking me about").
But it's one thing for Aziraphale to know or deduce that Hell might still occasionally send someone (like Shax) to check in on Crowley and another thing for him to not know that Beelzebub still summons Crowley whenever they feel like it, trying to coerce/blackmail him and that Shax regularly follows, even threats Crowley and lives in his goddamn apartment because she now fully replaces Crowley in his former job.
So, to sum this up: Aziraphale just received quite a bit of news Crowley withheld from him until now, but is also still lacking some other context that neither Crowley nor Shax has given him yet in order to be aware of the full picture.
Now, you're probably wondering: What the f*ck are you on about, OP, what does this have to do with the memory and narration analysis that this whole meta is supposed to be about? Well, dear reader, I'll kindly ask you to just hold onto that thought I outlined here until a little later. Tuck it in your pocket, don't worry, I'll remind you to take it out again once it's time.
Despite looking clearly incredibly surprised and, what is is again– ah, yes, flabbergasted upon hearing of Crowley's replacement, Aziraphale only reacts with a short "Ah", trying not to give away the fact that this is indeed very much news to him. He then continues to try and deflect anything Shax is saying and suggesting about Crowley. Except for the part where Shax says that she doesn't think Aziraphale seems like Crowley's type at all. And I cannot, for the absolute life of me, keep that GIF out of here, so:
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God, how I adore you, Mr. Sheen, master of immaculate microexpressions.
Alright, let's move on from the brief flash of sassy angel, onto what Shax says next. Because this is the crucial part:
"You know ... what, sometime in the last 80, 90 years I remember hearing that you and Crowley were an item. I didn't believe it then. Not really. Poor old Furfur. He thought you were his ticket to the big time."
Which Aziraphale replies to:
"I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about."
But you do, Aziraphale, don't you? Of course you do. How could he forget the time he almost got Crowley caught together with him by Hell ("Fraternising!") in what was probably one of their most insane and turbulent adventures (that we know of, at least). And now he knows that Shax knows about it too! At least some of it, because she used to work together with Furfur and was the one who pushed him to do his investigation in the first place.
We end their little Bentley encounter with Shax getting out, cryptically saying "You've already told me where Gabriel is" and Aziraphale hurriedly speeding off back to London.
I'd like to briefly point out that according to Google Maps, Edinburgh is almost an 8-hour drive away from London. Of course we don't know where exactly Shax semi-grand-theft-auto'ed into the Bentley, but it's safe to say that since it's still dark when she does and Aziraphale arrives in London when it's light out and morning already, he must have at least been driving for another couple of hours. All by himself, with nothing to think of other than a) Crowley never having told him that he's been relieved of Hell's duties and –– you guessed it –– b) what happened in 1941.
And here's where it gets interesting: It's not just Aziraphale who's remembering 1941. It's Shax, too. It hit me like a ton of bricks, once I realized. Shax is the one who brings up 1941 and Furfur's mission to get his promotion. So everything we see that happens in Hell, with the Nazi spies being processed, are Shax's memories. Obviously Aziraphale couldn't have known or remembered any of that. But Shax could! And she does. Because this entire minisode is their shared memory of it, stitched together with the parts both of them actually witnessed.
And alas, here you have it: The reason why it makes so much sense that this minisode is so much longer than the last ones and also happens right after Aziraphale's encounter with Shax. They both were just very much reminded of what went down all those years ago. And they're both thinking back on it to come to some sort of conclusion. And funnily enough, it ends up being the same one – but I'll get into that in a bit too.
Aziraphale's got time to kill in the Bentley. A few good and long hours alone, with the knowledge of Crowley's and his own sort-of-newly-found freedom at the back of his mind. (Crowley! No longer bound to Hell! Himself! No longer bound to Heaven! Blimey!)
What else would Aziraphale think of, if not the time he realized, after the demon had saved his precious books, he was utterly and irrevocably in love with Crowley. And what else could Shax think of on her way back to London, if not the time Hell almost got proof of Crowley and Aziraphale being "an item", putting one of her colleagues onto investigating it and only now, decades later, coming to realize that it was true after all – giving her the confirmation that there was only one place Crowley would hide Gabriel while Aziraphale was gone: the Bookshop. Aziraphale's bookshop. Because if there's any demon that would have unrestricted access to it, it would be Crowley – as Shax has just now realized.
Let's just say it's no wonder that this minisode is about to be an explosion (pun intended) of all the things we have seen and realized about how Aziraphale capital-r Remembers things (ft. a bit more behind the scene knowledge, provided by Shax). And yes, it took me this absolutely ridiculous amount of time and words to get to the actual beginning of this minisode. But I'll be as bold as to say that you'll thank me for it because if there's one thing all of this teaches us, it's that context is so very important for memories and decision making.
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... let's continue!
Title sequence: Rolled. London, 1941: Begins. Nazis in the church: Bombed. Books: Saved.
(Aziraphale: in Love.)
Right away again, the title card for "London 1941" looks like an old black and white film, similar to the retro hue and colouring of the Job episode in S2E2. We see what we saw already in Season 1, with the bomb dropping and Crowley saving the books. What we didn't know is what Shax's memory will now show us: How the Nazi spies were processed in Hell. And how she offered to help Furfur with being promoted if he could get her some intel on "some demon being up to no good."
I have yet to fully take my time to take a closer look at Shax, but I think she's a lot more competent and smart than Hell gives her credit for (similar to Saraqael in Heaven). How else would she have gotten word of A Certain Suspicious Demon while she was still an admissions demon herself. Or figured out simply by Crowley's Bentley not being at the bookshop in S2E3 that Aziraphale must be the one who'd currently be driving it somewhere. But okay, I really don't want to divert too much from my own plot here, so let's jump right ahead into our next scene: Aziraphale's first memory in this minisode.
I'm just gonna play Captian Obvious for a second here: There's literal sparks flying in the air. Red, firey, passionate sparks. And an angel looking like this:
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I'll just let the imagery do the talking.
Now we have that love-birdery out of the way: I was at first going to once again call bullsh*t on the timeline our dear smitten Aziraphale is giving us here. Because I thought: "You're really gonna try and tell me that while there was an actual Blitzkrieg happening just down the block, the girls playing Ladies of Camelot had nothing better to do than to happily perform at the Westend like nothing out of the ordinary had happened?"
But the answer is ... yes. Yes, they literally had nothing better to do – because they were still performing! I chastised our dear angel too soon, because lookie here:
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(Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Windmill_Theatre)
I indeed didn't know that the Windmill Theater remained open during WW2 –– but it did put a smile on my face that the article specifically mentions it remaining open even during the hight of the Blitzkrieg. Neil, you clever man!
Also, one last nugget of appreciation: Aziraphale most definitely having no clue what sort of performances actually happened at the Windmill Theater (in case you don't know, just check Wikipedia for a sec), exclaiming "Sophocles! Shakespeare!" and Crowley simply going "Something like that" just warms my heart infinitely.
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Fondly thinking about Aziraphale asking Mrs. Sandwich: "What exactly is it that your girls do?"
Another thing that seemed strange to me at first, that I think I also managed to semi-debunk, is the fact that Crowley's Bad Deed of that day seems to have been to deliver 80-percent-proof alcohol to the Windmill Theater. It made me frown and go: "Huh? I don't think alcohol was illegal in England in 1941?" However, upon googling around a bit, I think it might actually be not so much about the alcohol itself, but who it was given to. Which, in this case, is the American soldiers frequenting the nude shows at the Windmill Theater. All I could find were some books and essays, one of them titled "The Wet War: American Liquor Control, 1941–1945", as well as this short abstract of a paper that seems to talk about how American soldies consuming alcohol while at war/stationed abroad for WW2 were frowned upon by US Army chaplains because "the impact that alcohol would have on the men's moral well-being".
So, it would make sense for Hell to send a certain alcoholic temptation to one of the dens of temptation itself – the Windmill Theater. Enter Anthony J. Crowley, your local Nazi-church-bomber, book-saver, angel-seducer and alcohol-smuggler. (Albeit that last one sort of failing a little. Sorry, Mrs. H.)
(Sidenote: @createserenity gave a lovely and very plausible explanation of the whole alcohol delivery and also who Crowley's character design might have been based on in the comments of this post!)
Aziraphale then of course jumps in, offering to be the magician of the evening to repay his "good friend" (sideye), waving around his little handkerchief like an excited little boy. ("Ah, the ✨theatér✨!") We also get the first zombie!Nazis content, which I believe is probably a reconstruction of what the zombie!Nazis told Furfur once they met up with him again and what Furfur then probably told Shax once he failed his mission. Brains eaten, we continue to this glorious line:
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He's just so very excited and giddy about it all – and I think that's partly because he a) just realized that Crowley loves him (and he very much loves Crowley too) and b) because Bentley!Aziraphale who is remembering this, probably remembers it even more fondly and giddily. We've seen his emotions bubble over a lot more during the other minisode-memories – so it only makes sense that in this one, he's remembering himself to be almost out of his mind with happiness and excitement about Crowley the magic show.
Remember what I asked you to tuck into your pocket?
Take it out again. Go on, there's a love! Because what is it that Aziraphale realized mere moments ago during his conversation with Shax? Crowley is free of Hell.* (*and remember, he doesn't know that that's not entirely true because no one told him the rest of the facts. So yes, we know it's not quite as simple – but Aziraphale doesn't.)
For all of S2, he has been trying to bring his relationship with Crowley to a new, more domestically intimate level (our car!), confidently and potentially even a bit carelessly ignoring the still-very-much-there threats of Heaven and Hell. I think one of the things that might have still been holding him back in his attempts to get to the next base (huehue) was the fact that he thought Crowley was still actively employed by and tied to Hell.
In all of S2, Aziraphale does come across as a little bit blinded by his desire to finally be with-be with Crowley (rose-tined glasses obstructing the view and all) but he's not completely carless. He knows Hell to be way more cruel to their employees and has always been careful to not get Crowley into too much trouble by being associated with him. But now he has (a little falsely) deducted that Crowley is in fact no longer in hellish demand – and isn't that just absolutely tickety-boo! Lacking the context that we, the audience, have, Arziraphale.exe is currently running hot on: Heaven and Hell don't care about Crowley and me anymore! We're free of our employers' interest in us and the threat that used to bring!! I've been trying to lock this serpent down ever since the World didn't end – and now I finally can!!! I'm We're able to do whatever I we like which is to finally confess to Crowley!!!!
From Bentley!Aziraphale's point of view, this is the literal green light on their highway to Alpha Centauri! Metaphorically, anyway. More like their country road to the Southdowns. And, for now, the M1 to London– back, back, back to Crowley!
For a minute, I did wonder about why he doesn't seem at all worried or stressed once he arrives in London after his journey. After all, Shax did very clearly threaten him and insinuated that she already knew where Gabriel was. But if you look at Aziraphale all throughout Season 2, it's so very evident that he's completely occupied with being soppily nostalgic of all the memories he recalls of him and Crowley and, even while facing off with Heaven and Hell again, seems oh too happy to ignore all that because he only has eyes for one thing.
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Need I say more?
So, of course, realistically Aziraphale should probably be worried and weary of what Shax said (and maybe also a little taken aback by the fact that Crowley never told him any of this). But oh, isn't the world just that much lovelier when you look at it through shades of yellow and rose? And ignore everything else because if you only look at what you want to look at, both you and the serpent of your dreams are finally free to be together? So, of course! Azirapahle should be so! Very! Concerned! But instead, he is so! Very! Happy!
Both back in actual 1941, after Crowley saves his books, as well as in his memory of the story, aka in the current present day – which we don't get to see until he leaves the Bentley, but then it does show.
And it shows even more while he's still remembering 1941:
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Crowley doing an American accent? Oh, that must have been so funny and charming, look at him slapping his thigh, unbuttoning his jacket, leaning back all suavely and watching me– I mean ... the Ladies of Camelot.
There's this excellent meta by @cobragardens I read on the colours of red and yellow in this 1941 minisode as well, which further makes a point of how red is clearly Crowley's colour in Aziraphale's mind – and it's so, so vibrant in this memory specifically. Poor angel has really got it bad for his beloved book-saving demon.
I'd also like to point out Aziraphale's tendency to exaggerate again, both when it comes to others and himself. We see this in the other minisodes as well, and here again, when he seems almost overly-clumsy, dropping those big trick-rings twice, making a tower of cards topple over and then dropping even more things on the counter. This is probably just a bit of a projection how he might have been feeling about performing as a magician: Slightly nervous, trying to overplay it and yet very keen on getting it right.
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Crowley seems to always just be watching silently when memory!Aziraphale is acting a little out of character – possibly because there was no actual reaction from him since these slightly overdramatic things weren't actually this dramatic in the first place.
Another thing I would very much take with a grain of angelic memory salt, is one of the Nazi zombies actually walking into the shop while Crowley and Aziraphale are still in there. First of all, that would be pretty bold of him/them, given there's only three people in this tiny shop. And second of all, don't you think it's odd that neither Aziraphale nor Crowley would notice a literal undead person sauntering into the shop? I'll give Aziraphale the benefit of the doubt, since he's currently on cloud nine. But Crowley? How on Earth would he miss that?
Unless the zombie never actually went into the shop, put on silly costumes and rings (because given their track record, in my opinion, goofing around is a very un-Nazi-like thing to do) and it's just what the autopilot of Aziraphale's daydream is playing in the background, to fill in the gap for how the zombie!Nazis figured out where his magic show would take place. Because as we already saw, Aziraphale is a bit, well ... busy in that moment.
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This GIF is not sped up, by the way, that is indeed the absolute astronomical speed Aziraphale shook Crowley's hand with when he agreed to pretend to shoot him on a live stage. He's my favourite. Of all time.
Alas, the curtains at the Windmill Theater draw aside, ladies and gentlemen: Enter Fell the Marvellous!
Firstly, I would like to point out that Aziraphale is literally being surrounded by all things Crowley – the red curtain to his back, the red and black feathers to his left and right and, well, literal Crowley in the audience to his front.
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Just another little ode to how beautifully this whole minisode is done colour-wise.
If you read Part 2, you might remember me saying that how and what Aziraphale is feeling is actually translating directly to what we, the audience, are shown through cinematographic and auditory clues. And this very same thing happens here too. Its starts around the minute mark of 28:31. Right after Aziraphale realizes that his miracles aren't working and he still announces the bullet catch, introducing Crowley, you can tell that the whole frame starts to shake every so slightly.
At first, it's extremely subtle and you could possibly wave it off as simply being filmed with a hand-held camera. However, the further we progress into the bullet catch trick scene, the more the frame starts shaking.
I have taken the liberty to make a little cutdown of how this intense shaking progresses, so that in case you never noticed it before, I can spare you the time of going back to watch it for yourself.
It might be a trick of the eye but it even seems like the edges of the frame grow blurrier the closer the actual firing of the gun comes. And I don't think I have to tell you what feeling this is trying to convey. Anyone who's ever had a panic attack would probably describe it exactly like that. At least I would.
Everything is shaking because Aziraphale was most certainly out of his mind with fear and adrenaline. He wants to do this, he has to because he needs to show up for Crowley the way Crowley showed up for him at the church – but he's also literally risking being discorporated for good. And once again, we feel his panic, we feel like just like it's our own blood pumping through our veins, just like when we ourselves are shaking with fear. Because this is his memory. And a memory of such a tense and dangerous moment takes a long time to feel less scary.
Once they successfully pull of the trick, the shaking stops, of course. Fell the Marvellous nails his second trick by stealing Furfur's picture, the Nazi!zombies wander off to Satan knows where and we get another one of Shax's memories when we see Furfur not getting his promotion. (Almost makes you feel a little sorry for him, poor bugger.)
I don't have much to say about their romantic red wine candle light boogaloo, apart from the fact that it makes me want to punch holes in walls with how smited smote smitten Aziraphale looks at Crowley the entire time. And also there's this awfully sweet post about Crowley deciding to still sit and drink with him despite not knowing yet that Aziraphale had stolen the evidence picture.
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HE IS SO IN LOVE I AM GOING TO SCREAM–
Back to reality, whoa, there goes gravity (as we plummet down to Hell).
Because remember: While most of this was indeed Aziraphale's memory, some of it was Shax's as well. And I'm pretty sure she knows most of what went down that night. After all, Furfur was most definitely the one who caused the rumors of Crowley and Aziraphale being "an item".
So, while Aziraphale was in the Bentley, indulging and revelling in his love-struck memories of the night he almost died* (*discorporated) twice and managed to survive both times because Crowley was there and trusted him, Shax also thought back on all of this since it was the final nail in the coffin that confirmed to her that Gabriel was hiding in the bookshop with Crowley.
So, what's the conclusion that both characters have come to during this very long flashback? It's simple:
Aziraphale loves Crowley. And Crowley loves Aziraphale.
There's only one person Aziraphale would trust with Gabriel – and that is Crowley. And there is only one place that no other demon would have access to except for Crowley. And that is the bookshop. Shax knows this now. Which is why it makes so much sense that once we're back in present day!Hell, she immediately requests a legion to attack the bookshop. Because she knows this is the only place Crowley and Aziraphale both consider safe from the outside world, and the only place Crowley would have access to because Aziraphale loves trusts him. Reflecting back on it, 1941 confirmed to her that they have been and still are the item everyone suspected them to be.
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Clever, clever Shax!
As for Aziraphale: It's less of a conclusion, to be honest, and more of a reassurance, an affirmation of sorts. As I pointed out in my horrendously long context introduction, Crowley no longer working for Hell is exactly the push Aziraphale needs to finally feel like it's possible to make his move and confess to him.
And what does that news- and memory-induced realisation look like? This:
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Ah yes, what a lovely day to confess your millennia-long love!
Too bad Crowley's not really up to speed yet and Aziraphale's rose-tinted little moment is met with:
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... a face-full of plants. Whelp.
It's okay, they'll figure it out eventually.
My final little sidenote: The Jane Austen Ball and why it wasn't about Nina and Maggie
By all means, if you're already sick and tired of my tangents, do feel free to just skip this and end the meta early. I hope you had a good time with it, let me know your thoughts!
And for those of you who are up for a last burst of tinfoil-hatting: My conclusion to all of this is that I am 100% convinced that the whole Whickber-Street-Association-turned-Cotillion-Ball stunt Aziraphale pulls off in the next episode, was never actually meant for Nina and Maggie.
Why? Because up until getting a mouthful of plants once he arrives back in London, Aziraphale hadn't even known yet that Crowley's awning of a new age under the canopy had failed! The last time they spoke was over the phone in Edinburgh which ended with Crowley hanging up on Aziraphale to go make the love mission happen. And yet, Aziraphale clearly already has the whole ball thing planned out once he arrives in Soho, because he already calls it 'a night to remember'.
So, riddle me this: Why would Aziraphale plan this whole over-the-top romantic Jane Austen Ball on his ride back to London to make Nina and Maggie fall in love if he didn't even know yet whether or not Crowley's attempt at it had been successful or not?
It's almost like he meant for it to be his ideal way of a romantic confession for someone else.
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'member the pub scene in S2E2?
Aziraphale: "People would gather and do some formal dancing and then realize they had misunderstood each other. And were actually deeply in love!" Crowley: "Now that sounds unlikely."
Resolving a deep misunderstanding like, hm, for instance, your "de facto partner" not telling you he'd been let go by his toxic employers just like you and also your quarrel about you wanting to protect your former-asshole-turned-cottage-core-dad boss from your own former toxic employers? With ✨a ball✨? (And that being, well, really unlikely to work? Oh, deary-dear angel. Oh, Aziraphale. Be still, my beating heart. You're a soldier for trying, I'll give you that.)
Are you goddamn done yet, OP?
Yes. I am. The tinfoil hat defense rests. I'm aware this was less focused on the actual unreliable narration and a bit more on contextualizing memories and feelings with decision making, deductions and actions – but hey, the road to epiphany has many winding paths. Or something.
Once again, here are Part 1 and Part 2 and if you made it this far: Congratulations, you have reached the end! Thanks for baring with me. I hope you enjoyed the journey just as much as Aziraphale did his daydream in the Bentley. And if you and me both feel strong enough for it, I might see you around in a cheeky little Epiloge to this meta series!
(Also: @dancingcrowley asked so nicely for me to tag them once Part 3 came out, so here you go!)
Cheers!
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chordsykat · 18 days
Text
How I write action/fight scenes
From a prompt posted by a friend on Discord last night. :3 Just thought I would ramble a bit before getting to work, this morning. If you're a writer and want to know what goes through my head as I come up with combat scenes in my stories, then read on. In this way, I hope we both learn a lot. Because I honestly don't think I've ever laid out my "formula" before...
First, know who you're dealing with.
This tutorial is going to stick mostly to the actual writing aspects, but if you're going to do an action series, you should factor in the combat abilities of your characters as you develop them. This doesn't have to be anything fancy. Keep it to the natural human responses at least. In other words, during a conflict, how will your character react:
Fight: Push back
Flight: Run away
Freeze: Do nothing
Knowing just that will give you enough to start thinking these dances through. And indeed, that's what they are - a dance. If you know more, like, specifically what kind of fighting they do, what their strengths in combat are, etc -- all the better, but know that what I list below goes in order from most to least important, and that stuff won't be on the list until the end.
Second, (and always) make the audience care about the action.
This sounds dumb and counterintuitive but people won't find an action scene compelling just because it's an action scene. Not to knock it, because it was brilliant for a different reason and a lot of the writing staff's hands were tied... BUT... During my time as a fan of, all the way into my employment with, Archie-Sonic, I can't tell you how many action scenes happened just because some executive at Sega was like "I think X and Y need to fight." So they would, and for reasons that were muddy at best. I think at one point, we had Sonic and Knuckles literally exchanging this dialogue:
Sonic: Yo dude, be cool. Last time we met, we left on good terms! Knuckles: Maybe, but you're still an intruder and just because you did me that favor on the day my daughter was to be married does not mean I owe you anything in the way of kindness.
IDK, my memory may be foggy, but that was the gist of it. Point is, don't do that - and first make sure your audience understands the motives behind the action, the potential stakes, and why it's all taking place to begin with. Else, you can make it as cool as you want and people are going to walk away with a sense of "that was cool" instead of "holy shit I was freaking out through that whole scene." If there's any question as to what you should be striving for as a writer, it's the latter.
Third, plot it out like it's a mini-story.
To the point - figure out the end first, and work backwards, just like so many writing tutorials have said before. Again, keep it simple: Who wins? Does the conflict result in a casualty of some kind? Does a character learn something?
Before you show how it goes down, you need to establish what goes down as the action happens, and what happens afterwards. Keeping the ending in mind as yo write a scene is always a good way of making it feel tighter. And throwing littlte twists for interest (maybe a character has the upper-hand for all but the end of the fight - maybe a character is losing until a specific turning point, etc) is made much easier, too.
Fourth, mind the rhythm.
A little weird to explain this, but the back-and-forth nature of the scene needs to flow well. Generally, conflict follows a pattern of:
Character acts
Opposition reacts
Opposition acts
Character reacts
If this pattern looks familiar to you, it should. This is the basic pattern of human dialogue as seen in stories and, YES, real life. Consider your scene like a dialogue all its own (even if the characters are talking throughout). The twists and turns I spoke about in the last point should be "off beat" because there's an unexpected nature to them. When a twist happens, consider breaking the above pattern.
Fifth, showcase character traits and skills (again, always).
Some characters have a high sense of honor and would put down their weapons if their opponent was unarmed. Some of them would fight dirty and hit someone with a chair when their back was turned. Some characters are scrappy and will jump into a conflict even when they're sorely outmatched. Some are straight up cowards who might run away even when there's a good chance they could win. Some are smart enough to bow out and will not engage -- hiding at the first sign of trouble. Some will throw snowballs at the oppressor and be surprised when they pull aggro and the dude comes after them.
You get the idea -- fights, conflicts and action scenes are great ways to show your characters' strengths, weaknesses, traits, and personality. Times of struggle are going to lay emotional responses raw, and it's a great way of showing "who someone really is" as it were.
Sixth, showcase unique defensive behavior.
Some characters have specific training: military, martial arts, street-fighting, etc... which, if you're aware of those, should come out during combat or conflict. Some characters have access to weapons. Some characters' bodies are the weapon. Etc, etc etc...
Whatever you do, about the only time you're going to show off the fact that your character knows Muay Thai is during an action scene. If you yourself do not practice this martial art, then research what you need to incorporate to make it believable when you write. Watch videos and write down the ways you would describe the movement. If you're doing a comic, then sketch the movement. Use that in your story.
Last, create more interest by tying in and highlighting story themes or disparities between protagonist characters, antagonist characters, and/or the conflict as a whole.
A little trickier, but if your story has a central theme or moral, try showing pieces of it shining through the action. Just as one wild example, if you have a theme of "love conquers all" this might mean your fight will end with the two people falling in love, instead of fighting. Think like a dungeon master. If you rolled a natural 20 on "try to woo the orc" in a combat situation (remember that comic?) what do you think would happen?
Too, if your combatants have something in common, or especially something that they are diametrically opposed on, feel free to show that off in these scenes. It'll leave the audience knowing them better (and set them up for further head-butting... or romance(?) down the line. And that's always fun).
Anywho, that's just a few of my thoughts on action sequences in fiction. If this helped you, or you want me to talk about this even more -- send me a message or a note or something. Always up for discussing this kind of thing.
And your reward for reading this far is an invite to join my discord if you wanna hear me ramble on about this sort of thing, in perpetuity. :)
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holylulusworld · 8 months
Text
Wrong number
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Summary: In need for a new job you call the friend of a friend.
Pairing: Mobster!Lloyd Hansen x Reader
Warnings: mentions of unemployment, wrong number trope, dubcon, degrading, Lloyd being Lloyd, implied kidnapping, implied darkish Lloyd Hansen, forced stripping
AN: Square filled for Navy and Roo’s slumber party presents bingo @the-slumberparty: wrong number
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You take a deep breath and dial the number your friend gave you.
Someone barks into the phone, grumbling as you do not answer fast enough.
“Hi, this is Y/N Y/L/N. I got your number from my friend Ben. Ben Maher. It’s about the job. He said you want to make an appointment for a Zoom meeting.”
“What?” The man yells at someone before he turns his attention back toward you. “Say that again, sunshine. I didn’t get the last part.” His voice softens as you repeat the same line, the one you wrote down to not stumble over your words.
Fuck, you hate this. You hate to beg someone you never talked to before to give you a chance. If only you didn’t lose your job.
Well, this can’t be helped. All you can do is get back on your feet as fast as possible.
“Hello, who the fuck is calling me and doesn’t answer!” You shake your head. Again, you messed your chance up. The man on the other end of the line is already mad at you.
“Hi,” you squeak. “Mr.…Mr.…” you wrinkle your forehead. Great. Now you forgot the name Ben told you too. “Sorry.” You exhale sharply. “I wanted to ask if the position is still available.”
“Position?” His voice drops, and he purrs in the phone. “I think we should get to know each other better before I offer the position to you.”
“Yeah. Ben said something about a Zoom meeting,” you repeat, rolling your eyes. That guy didn’t listen to you at all. “We can make an appointment and you can send me a link.”
“Right now.”
“What?”
He groans. “I said, right now sugar plum. I’ll send you a link, and you better be ready for Lloyd Hansen. I hate wasting my time.”
“I won’t disappoint you,” you hastily say. “Do you need my e-mail address?” Crap. Another lapse. Of course, he’ll need your contact information to send you the link. How dull are you sometimes?
“Message me the address. I’ll send you the link,” he sounds a little more excited and you wonder if this interview will go better than the last, or the one before the last.
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“There she is,” the man almost purrs. He stares into the camera, making you feel uncomfortable. “Not bad, sunshine.” He grins, eyes glued to your chest. “Damn me, a pretty angel for me to ruin.”
You still fight with your headset as your potential new employer watches you with amusement.
“Shoot,” you curse when your wireless mouse ends up on the ground. You are a clumsy mess again. “Just a minute.”
He’s knuckling his mustache all the while ogling your ass when you turn around to pick up your wireless mouse.
“Are you done now?” Lloyd questions as you finally sit down. “Can we start?”
“Sorry. Yes.”
“Good,” he tilts his head, eyes drifting toward your chest again. Lloyd frowns and wrinkles his nose. “No. That’s not good. Take off that jacket.”
“What?” Looking down at your body you wonder if the purple blazer was the wrong choice. “Don’t you like it?”
“I hate it. Take it off,” he impatiently grunts. “Hurry. I don’t have all day.”
You sigh but follow his order. He’s a potential employer and you don’t want to fuck this chance up. “Better?” you ask when you drop the blazer to the ground.
“No,” he shakes his head. “The blouse, get rid of it. Show me something I will like,” Lloyd leans back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest.
You frown deeply. “Uh-I’m not applying for a job as a cam girl, Sir,” you lick your lips. How far will you go to get a simple office job?
“Take. It. Off.” He growls. “If not, I’ll end this before we even get started.”
“I-“ You ask yourself if Ben hates you. If not, why would he tell you to talk to this perv? “Fine.”
“At least you can follow orders,” Lloyd smirks now. He watches you clumsily take off your white blouse. You drop it to the ground, huffing as this is the most embarrassing job interview you ever attended.
“Hmm…white too. So pure, but I bet you’re a naughty girl,” you scrunch up your nose. “I bet you are wearing white panties too. Lace.”
You drop your eyes to your lower half. “I think we should talk about my curriculum vitae now, Sir. I have experience in data entry, bookkeeping, and filing. I know how to use computer software too. I’m hard-working and accurate.”
Lloyd laughs loudly. “Sugar plum, this is not a job interview. All I want to know is if you are good at sucking dick and if you like it up your ass.”
“What?” You don’t know how to react to his crassness. This is not the way men usually talk to you. “Ben said you’ve got a job at your office for me!”
“Ben? Who the fuck is Ben?”
An icy shiver runs down your spine. “My friend…your friend Ben Maher. He told me about the job.”
“I don’t know a fucker named Ben, sunshine. Now, take off that skirt. I wanna get a better look at your ass. I don’t pay my sugar babes for boobs only.”
“Sugar what?” You take off your headset and slam your laptop shut. “What the fuck did Ben get me in to?”
Speechless you sit on your chair, close to tears. You just stripped your blouse off for some guy. “Shit…fuck…”
Slinging your arms around your body you rock back and forth. What if that man took a screenshot? What if he recorded you?
You glance at the laptop, shuddering at the memory of Lloyd’s hungry gaze.
It takes you a few moments to calm down and pick up your blouse.
Ben will catch hell the next time you talk to him.
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You’re still shaken from the odd job interview a few days ago. That man didn’t even offer a position to you. And you can’t reach Ben to give him hell.
To calm your nerves, you scroll through another website to find a new position. It can’t be helped. Ben’s friend was a creep, not an employer.
“Coming.” You curse when your doorbell rings. Putting your phone aside, you get up from your couch. Whoever stands in front of your door is very impatient. “Right there. Christ…I’m already here.”
Your heart drops when no other than Lloyd Hansen stands in front of your door. He looks you up and down. “If I tell you to take off your skirt, I expect you to follow my orders.”
“This…no. How’d you find me?” You gape at the stranger at your door.
“Your friend Ben was very helpful,” Lloyd grins darkly. “Imagine my surprise getting to know that you called the wrong guy. I believed you wanted to become my new plaything.”
“Wrong…guy…?”
“This doesn’t matter anymore,” he steps closer, invading your home. “I set my eyes on you. You look ready to get eaten, sunshine. Daddy is ready to give you the world.”
Lloyd cups the back of your neck. He forces you to hold his gaze as his steel-blue eyes search your scared face. “Let me go. This…no…I only wanted a job.”
“You got it, sunshine.” He roughly claims your lips. You can only open your mouth for him and let him take what he wants. “You are going to be such a good girl for me. And your only job is to take my dick and look pretty for me…”
Right number
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mintytealfox · 2 months
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What do you think about norton's 5th birthday rewards? (Like the portrait and it's clues etc.)
HEH I can finally sit down and slam down some thoughts!! 😈😈 THE PORTRAIT:
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In film the direction a person is facing or going is a tell, and going from right to left (he is facing left here so its assumed he is moving right to left) that signifies negative/bad orz it pushes more negative feeling. Doesn't help that his shadow is right leaning hard up-left, giving a feeling of powerful increasing negative orz
Now the lighting! his back is to the light as he faces the darkness and that darkness is mainly shown as his alter's shadow. This makes me think that he is really leaning into that side of himself and leaving who he was behind orz
B U T
He isn't looking forward he looking more towards the 'camera'/off to the side a bit, which makes me think there is a chance that he could see something that makes him about-face/turn around towards the light, cause the light hasn't all together abandoned him, its there. Its within view even on the upper corner of the map within his sight, more so than the dark majority of the map, he isn't really looking there at the dark, he is looking up and off to the side a bit.
It makes me think that the map is his plans but the light has other ideas and catching his attention 👀
THERE IS STILL HOPE PEEPS!!!!!
THE MESSAGE:
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This message makes me DIE 😭😭and that is all I have to say about it.....just kidding LOL IMMA TEAR IT TO BITS HERE WE GO
The fact that what he desires above all else is freedom ;; cause that is what the sky usually means in media FREEDOM ;;
He wants:
-the fresh air -the ability to feel the sun -and to feel the breeze -to hear the trees leaves rustling and birds chirping -being allowed to rest when he needs to ;;
All he knows is darkness ;; waking up before the sun, going underground, coming back home after the sun has already set. He only knows night life, tired life. When people are exhausted and get drunk and start showing the worst parts of themselves when they think everyone is already asleep and wont see them acting in such a way. He only knows a cruel, sad, back breaking world ;; Then down in the mines its just deep, dank, all you can hear are eerie sounds and clanking of pick axes and the occasional noise from animals brought down into the mines to check for poison air. Senses constantly on alert for any potential cave-ins or other dangers and to top it off, Norton having to deal with bullying 🙃
and even after ALL that, ALL he can think about, and truly wants, is to see the sky during the day and enjoy it
I AM SCREECHING IN AGONY
Then here is Benny's letter to Norton's dad, about the dreams he has if gold is found and all the lavish ideas that Benny thinks those riches will bring. That dream and what Benny believes money will give then enters Norton's mind. "Money is the key to freedom", and there begun the spiral orz He turned to doing anything and EVERYTHING to reach for that 'promised' freedom that he can have if he gets the money required. ;; Everything around him becomes a means to get to that desired freedom. Then once he reaches that freedom he is FREE TO BE WHO HE REALLY IS ;; So the thought process of "I have to be whatever is required now, so I can be my true free self later" ;; but that isn't how that works orz
I have found that misery is similar to money. Misery loves company, and with money there is never enough (if you don't have a healthy relationship with money) That is where the greed creeps in for Norton. He is obviously making some money, it is said that his employers were very pleased with his work. He even moves up to prospector instead of just a miner, or at least he was working on the side in secret as a prospector cause bro is LOOKING HARD for that gold. (And you can tell he knows what he is doing cause he just has to check out the area and he KNOWS that gold is not going to be there and officially crosses those areas out). So if he wasn't officially a prospector he could have become one EASY. A Prospector searches for the GOOD GOOD not just gold, we are talking valuable substances that the earth makes, especially O I L. Gold is fine and dandy but OIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL is where its at! If Norton wasn't so distracted by finding gold (which would have been taken by the owner of the mine anyways cause honestly why would the world be fair and let the person who found it keep it) BU T OOIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL can be found on land that isn't owned by anyone 👀He would need to find an attorney pretty damn quick BUT IT WOULD BE HIS and most, if not all, of the money going to HIM OH MY GOSH NORTON IS SMART!! He could have figured out a way to track down an area where oil could be found, he did that for GOLD he can absolutely do that for OIL as well and he would have wound up richer than most aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Norton knows how to sell his abilities and these people (those employers) already love his work ethic and what he can do. All he would have to do is say "I can do such and such and I have proof" those employers might trust him and say 'alright how much you need to finish this plan to get that mineral 'gold mine'. People LOOOVVEEEE the prospect of getting more money and are willing to risk it all for that reservoir of significantly MORE cash/income. So they would invest in Norton and Norton would provide and he would get his massive cut of cash along with those who invested in him LIKE HE COULD HAVE HAD AN ENTIRE OPERATION SIMPLY BECAUSE HE IS FANTASTIC AT WHAT HE DOES AAHHHH but as we all well know that is not how it went down orz aahhhhhh
He was completely blinded in that pursuit of gold and keeping it for himself that he lost himself, lost his way and even lost track of what he truly wanted, to be free. You don't need a ton of money to be free. You need enough, of course, but not heaps and heaps of it orz I think he would have been more than sufficiently happy being an actual prospector and finding mineral deposits and selling them off. Bro would ADORE being an explorer, studying the land and finding the earth's riches and moving on to find the next mineral deposit, making bank as he travels and people paying even more for his good and successful work. GOSH DANG IT 😭😭😭😭
but this is me getting all wishful thinking and living in 'ideal world' land. Setting off to find his first mineral deposit would have been risky but bro has survived worse and he is stubborn, able to live off the land, and studious enough that I haven't the slightest doubt that he would find good areas that would catch people's attention, it would take time but he could do it. There is the risk of people taking advantage but with what he has seen and learned he would likely be ready for it and end up taking advantage of THEM H A R D E R LOL
but these are just my thoughts and getting all wishful at the end here to balance out the EMO STUFF NetEase is tossing out lol
Gosh DANG I just want bro to be happy -CRYYYYY-
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Text
Who Framed Wally Darling?~☆
《A detective is the only hope to prove the one accused their innocence when they are convicted of murder.》
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《Warnings: the subject matter this ARG has are potentially disturbing. DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT. Welcome Home was created by Clown @ partycoffin 》
-《This Au is going to go two ways.. Enjoy!》
[Cast, You as Eddie Valiant. Wally Darling as Jessica Rabbit and Roger Rabbit!]
All you wanted was to have one big easy paying job. Not helps a puppet on the run.
But... It was your fault.
You were the only one that could prove Wally Darlings' innocence.
You were paid to keep an eye on the star puppet of the hit show. "Welcome Home".
Known for his charm, charisma and soft voice.
The man that hired you, (the boss of the studio that produced Welcome Home.) Wanted to find some dirt on the rising star puppet, believing the puppet had other, side-jobs that he couldn't do due to his contract.
So, you went to investigate.
But after watching him for a couples of day, you were glad to say you had nothing close to what your employer wanted...
So on that note, you went back to the studio and got your pay and headed back home.
[Breaking News: Studio owner of ---- ----, has been murdered! Suspect of the crime has yet to be caught or questioned by authorities.]
Spitting out your breakfast onto the kitchen counter.
You hear a knock on your door.
Opening it up, you see a small frightened puppet on your doorstep
I guess a new case is needed to be solved.
[Cast! You as Roger Rabbit, Wally playing as Jessica Rabbit. Julie and Frank playing Eddie Valiant!]
[I made this for shits and giggles, then I remembered Abba-]
You were a children's show actor, one of the main characters. But not the most prominent one.
You loved to make your audience laugh and learn about the world. Hoping to educate the new generation of young minds.
But others would rather see you fail than succeed.
Your boss had called you down to his office to talk to you, so filming was put on pause as you made your way down to his office.
"(L/N), this is Detective Frankly and Detective Julie, they has something to show you." You nod your head politely to the Detective Frankly and Julie.
After finding out your husband could possibly be cheating on you. You sob and cry, finding a peice of paper and writing down the love you held for Wally before heading home.
Crying softly and sleeping in another room, not wanting to see him. (He was very upset when he noticed you weren't beside him when he woke up.)
On your way to the studio, a news advertisement plays
[Breaking News: Studio owner of ---- ----, has been murdered! Suspect of the crime has yet to be caught or questioned by authorities.]
A photo of you appears on screen as you back away in shock!
You had to get to the bottom of this.
There was only one duo that could help you, Frank and Julie's Detective Agency!
<Just imagine all of this is happening because you told Sally about the movie from your world. And she's so invested in it that she decided to adapt it into a theatrical musical production!>
-
@yourmommylol04 @openminded-freak @takenbytheboogieman @apelepikozume @candie-wax @thealreadyunsteadyteddynewspaper @mars-wants-candy @queenofspades403 @hiddencatails @bumbly-bee-13 @sethlainpallatt @jacquelynwinchester
@the-golden-speckle-light @planetary-poison @i-d0nt-3x1st @urmomisaqt420 @shadowlover321
@trumpettay @sugarrush-blush @sl33pyt1r3 @soggys-world @xxblackdementia311xx @coolcat101s @himboextraordinaire @rainingdandelion @pepperspark @sparklyphantom @000-mika
[Hope ya'll enjoyed this! It's a bit rushed but I had fun playing with the concept and I hope you guys can too! I wanna see some red suit wally and Julie and Frank being detectives!]
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tpher · 7 months
Note
stop making me care about topher (respectfully)
my immediate thought was to annoyingly wax poetic abt topher to make it worse so i WILL
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topher is 16 by the time hes in the show and the td timeline is all fucky wucky so lets say hes been a fan since the start so hes liked total drama for around 3 years. 3 years? not a lot of time but to a TEEN??? that is SO incredibly long. ESPECIALLY if ur autistic/have a hyperfixation like topher did. so total drama, chris in particular, was his LIFE
it is especially very.. unintentionally meta that so late in the show and in one of the most hated seasons you have this character who competes on the show with the intent of trying to make it better. he still loves it (or at the very least chris) but thinks it wasnt as good as it once was (again. chris). and again as a teen w a hyperfixation it hurts to see something u like go to shit. and in tophers case, its what awakened his dream to become a host someday. so what better way than to "fix" the show you loved by taking over, right? topher certainly has the drive and the motivation to try and make his dreams a reality, even if he does waste time and get distracted a bunch.
so imagine after years and years, you finally meet your idol. youre just so excited and wanna let him know just how much of a fan you are to get on his good side in general, but also as a networking opportunity. youve always wanted to be a host, so now youre not only meeting a host but THE host. so you try to talk but he doesnt really care. and youre just complimenting him and its bugging him. and giving him constructive criticism is also not allowed. and you flat out ask if you could just.. explain a challenge to the others at least once and he gets.. mad at you?
what are you doing wrong? nothing, of course. its just him who doesnt get it. its just him who doesnt appreciate all the years YOUVE put into him. he doesnt understand all the time and effort youve put into being camera-ready and taking meticulous care of your hair and skin; including being in posing classes since age 11 and having a suspiciously intricate knowledge on plastic surgery. most people your age barely even know what theyre going to college for, youve got your whole life figured out compared to them
youve waited long enough, you have the looks and the skills, and if he wont give you what you deserve, then its time to take matters into your own hands
so you grow bitter and impatient (and frown wrinkles, oh no!). youve resulted to stealing this mans phone to contact the network yourself.
and then imagine when you finally put in the effort. and you think your dreams are coming true and it was just your idol-- your FORMER idol-- pulling a prank on you. on international television. for millions of people including potential employers to see. which also cost your team the challenge and got you eliminated in such a humiliating way.
everything you had ever worked for is gone in an instant. and its all thanks to who was once your hero. the one who gave your life a clear trajectory
the last we see of topher, he is unable to form coherent sentences and twitching. we genuinely have no idea how hes doing right now
but i hope hes okay
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fuck-customers · 3 months
Note
I started making tiktoks in January as a way to boost my self-confidence (it’s working, which is nice). The other day while hanging around with my girlfriend I noticed that one of my bosses had viewed my profile. It’s not unusual for people I work with to look at my page, since I’m friends with and/or follow most of the ones that do, and they’re being supportive. But it is weird to see my boss there, as it’s the first time they’ve ever looked at my page. I mentioned to gf, and later to my bestie, that it seemed fishy that my boss was on my page.
Later today when I got in to work, I was checking my emails and saw a recent one from my supervisor (they’re just under the boss who was looking at my page, kind of like an AM). They said that they were informed that I’d been making videos, and that I’d been filming while at work. I wasn’t told it wasn’t allowed or that I’ve really done anything wrong, but they said they “do not feel comfortable” with an employee recording on work property during shift hours, and that because we live in a small town we want our community members to feel safe coming to the hospital, and that as an employee I’m a representative of the hospital so I need to be cautious in what I post.
There’s no policy about recording videos or anything else while at work/on property. I haven’t broken any rules. I never mention any personal information about patients or their visitors, or anything that could even identify a patient (if I’m telling a story from the ER I always use gender neutral pronouns, don’t necessarily say what the patient was dealing with, but rather talk about something funny/interesting they said or did while at the hospital). I get maybe 300 views on my videos, on average, and don’t have some insane amount of followers. Most of my videos are my complaining about something or another that has nothing to do with work or the ER, and it’s just personal nonsense. I also make sure to never show any material from the hospital, like logos, and I’ve never mentioned where I work or live, so I can’t really be pinpointed down.
I can understand why they wouldn’t want me filming during shift. I’m paid to work, not make videos. Even though I’ve only ever done it during downtime when we haven’t had a patient in for hours. But I get it. And lately I feel more comfortable recording in my car anyway, so I can change that without a fuss. And maybe I could understand the argument about wanting our community to feel safe coming to the hospital, except it’s not like I’m belittling anyone or making fun of them for having come in to the ER.
But what gets me is that I shouldn’t have to be worried about what I do in my personal life when I never signed up to be an ambassador of the hospital. I’m paid to check people in and handle paperwork, not be some kind of shining representative to make them look good. As long as I’m not saying horrible shit about my job, or badmouthing people I work with by name, or breaking the law by revealing patient information, I shouldn’t have to be bothered with making sure I’m performing for my company every minute of the day.
Employees should not be persecuted for what they do outside of work, so long as it’s not harmful to anyone. We shouldn’t have to be concerned that a potential, or current, employer might see a video we make and then try to discuss it with us later on. We shouldn’t have to police everything we do and say in fear of our companies retaliating against us.
I like my bosses in general. They’re usually pretty cool about things like this. But this just rubbed me the wrong way. If it’s not important enough to have an actual policy about, then it’s not important enough to talk to me about. If you don’t like what I’m saying just get off my page.
Posted by admin Rodney.
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hourglassfish · 9 months
Text
A (long) Aside on 1:7 and 2:10
There are two responses to 1:7 and 2:10 that always quietly horrify me.
The first, and you know, I'm writing a multi part series on it, so it's no mystery - is that Sydney was arrogant/a brat/ couldn't hack it/ wrong to walk out, and that the situation as a whole was her fault. Nah. She was right to walk out, the biggest failure of that episode is not fucking pulling the breaks when Richie gets stabbed. The workplace has gone from dysfunctional to dangerous, she has been responsible for that danger, the perpetrator of it, and she is right to leave.
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little bit of an asshole but i love you so i don't care
Carmy sees Syd saying she's going to stab Richie (as she holds her knife to his chest!) while they're up in each other's faces (with Richie goading her) and he does... nothing. He tells them to shut the fuck up and make giardiniera. At this point they needed to be separated! One or both of them needed to cool off. We've seen Syd bodily put herself between a fighting Carmy and Richie. A little reciprocity would have gone a long way here.
It's wild to me that people think that Carmy was justified in his anger and aggression towards Marcus and Syd and ignore that he is aggressive to Richie also! Richie, typically one of the more confrontational characters in the show asks him to calm down, to cool it. That so many viewers so quickly and uncritically accept Carmy's narrative point of view, even while the show actively challenges it confirms something that has been in the culture a long time: that we are much more used to excusing and aligning ourselves with abusive behaviour, than we are at challenging and refusing it. That people - many of whom have received this kind of behaviour themselves - want to defend it, makes me so, so sad.
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It always hurts me a little that in 1:8 Tina tells Carmy that if he 'tries that shit with her, she'll fuck him up'. It's a fun line! But I'm sorry, no she won't. He screams at her too, while chucking bowls around and Sydney's words in 1:7 clearly hurt her. Tina categorically did nothing wrong. She doesn't deserve that shit. But at the end of the day, she is a middle aged Latinx woman and a mother, and so her tolerance level has to be higher. She needs that job! Shedoes not, as far as we know, have a father she can live with rent free, she does not have youth and the promise of exploitable potential to offer to employers in an ageist job market, she does not have CIA qualifications or a CV full of ‘serious heat’.
Carmy. holds. a. position. of. power. over. these. people. He is their boss, not their manager, and he owns the place, mob loan or no. He has the power to sack them all, to cut their hours, to cut their wages; thus the impact of that power extends not just to them, but also to their children and families. Louis being present in Review is not just to add an obstacle, it's also a reminder of those stakes.
Carmy has influence in the fine dining industry, regardless of whether that social and cultural capital is respected at The Beef or not. The very same oppourtunities that he provides them with in season 2 are things he could also lock them out of if he so chose. Any analysis of 1:7 that ignores this power is flawed from its root. When you are a boss, this power is ever present. One of the few things you can do to alter your boss's behaviour is to withdraw your labour. It's not the only option you have, but everything else is at their discretion, or mediated by lengthy, expensive legal processes.
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yeh, i hate this
Carmy knows this, even if you don't! It's why the apology he gives Marcus - which Marcus does not ask for - is so heartfelt. Carmy has been on the receiving end of what that power, wielded cruelly, can do. He does not want to do this to others. We see him talk to staff with respect even while he endures horrid abuse in a flashback. We see him teach and explain himself, we see him listen and invite feedback - ‘say more’. His commitment to being a good boss is sincere, that kindness is in his bones.
The second thing people say that makes me want to die a little inside is that Carmy bought getting locked in the fridge on himself, that he deserved it in some way, and that getting locked in the fridge was him abandoning Sydney.
Oh my god!
He does not have a diagnosis yet - so anything we see is an interpretation. But it feels explicit that Carmy has panic disorder, and perhaps generalised anxiety disorder and CPTSD from both his workplace experiences and his childhood. A couple of things that he says and does suggest ADHD, or some other neurodiversity. He is not very careful with himself, and does not recognise these things as treatable problems (Richie says he experiences anxiety and dread, Carmy's response is 'who doesn't' - wince, cruel to Richie, cruel to himself - vomiting everyday and crying out of nowhere are presented as something 'loads of people do' to Sugar. Tumblr loves to send people to therapy, but I just want to send this man to do a basic google search of more than fun tbh). But they are debilitating for him, especially at work.
What happens to how we read Carmy's behaviour when he is presented as someone with an untreated disability, and absolutely no support plan in place? Does he still get his just desserts at the end of the season?
The fridge thing is a bit clumsy, I think. It's silly that over the space of three months, no one at any point just takes that job off him as a priority, or at least makes it something where Tony will call the restaurant, not Carmy specifically. It is unrealistic that there would not be some kind of back up safety lock inside the fridge. But you know, they're characters in a TV show, it also does not take two people swivelling around on the floor to tighten the coat hooks on a table (LOOOOOOL) - it's realistic until its not.
But, you know, it's doing a thing, several things - it's Chekov's gun, isn't it, it's the tangible impact of the lapse of focus that Uncle Jimmy is constantly trying to warn them about.
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He wanted to cry here so bad!!! It makes me laugh every time
But umm... guys? What happens to him on that night is so, so horrible. They're a chef down, they're running out of forks, Richie's giving him shit (and Carmy is so susceptible to Richie giving him shit), Marcus and Syd are being all weird. He thinks one of his abusers (Donna) might come, or that she might not come and there will be emotional fallout from that. He thinks he sees his other abuser (Evil Joel Mc Hale) - and he's triggered. He goes in the kitchen and yells, but Syd pulls him back in. Then he goes into the fridge, partly to do chef stuff, I'm sure, but also partly to fucking get his shit together aaaaaand he gets locked in there! He has a panic attack! In a fridge! That he is locked in! And the people he loves most in the world, are the other side of that door, and for five minutes, an eternity in panic attack time, they ignore him! He has no clue what's going on! Last time shit hit the fan, two of his staff walked out (he's still not over Syd walking out cus they never talk about it properly), another one got stabbed and all these new ones are 'emerald green'. And he still thinks evil Joel Mc Hale is out there!
My loves, that shit is the stuff of nightmares! I know he tells himself that he bought this on himself but can we please! stop! uncritically! accepting! his narrative! point! of view!
I don't think anybody on screen recognises that a panic attack is what he's having. That's not their fault. None of them have seen him have a panic attack! They don’t get to see inside his head like we do (which saves them from a lot of R.E.M.) He is locked in the fridge, they just hear the bear banging on the door of his cage! It's not even in the language of the show at this point (though i am curious about how and when Richie came to get his Xanax). But that's what's happening. The team are fine. They do great. He has a terrible, terrible time.
My support worker found 2:10 deeply triggering - and her reason for this, she said, was that a lot of her job was supporting people with panic disorders who are leading teams, and seeing that moment coming, the moment where the panic crashes headlong into their role as leader. Part of her role is anticipating it, and trying to turn it around before they reach the point of no return. And as soon as Carmy thinks he sees Old Boss, he's gone. His body is in flight or fight, and he is alone with that. He can’t show up for Syd at that point, he is in his equivalent of the trenches.
This is also what is happening in 1:7. Somehow his response is often framed as a) rational or b) just an asshole - but it is so outsize to the situation, and to who we know him to be most of the time (quiet, kind, thoughtful, sensitive, BITCHY), that we know it has to be more than that.
None of this is helped by the fact that Carmy's panic attacks are... well they're kind of ugly! His meltdowns are aggressive and shouty, on the edge of physical violence, in an industry where people behave like that because they can. It is hard, parsing through that to the triggers, and fears, and panic beneath. It's scary! It asks so much of people to see that and want to help, not run away. But that is where he's at.
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I do not have language for how much I hate how physical he gets with Marcus here, it is deeply upsetting
I have an access rider, to help me work well with people, and to help them work well with me. My mental health turns up in every job I do. All the time. Has done for years. It can make me unreliable, uncommunicative and absent. It can mean that people have to step up sometimes in ways they weren't anticipating. And one of the things the rider asks for is 'Good Faith' - a belief that I have not shut down because I'm an asshole, but rather because I have some unhelpful coping mechanisms that I am trying to work my way out of, that my triggers are real, not excuses for laziness or an expression of lack of care, that i will give as much as I can when I can.
Syd and Carmy are beginning to work towards this - Carmy says over and over again that he doesn't want to be shitty. Claire fucking muddies things, because I will not meet you skiving off to see your girlfriend with good faith fam. That shit he needs to be held accountable for. Dropping that envelope was a perfect Richie job, I'm still pissed about that. But being locked in the fridge... there's way more going on there.
The idea that Carmy should, and will, leave the culinary world keeps coming up in various metas. But... the problem isn't cooking? I think Carmy loves cooking, still. I think he likes being part of a team, and wants to be good at it. I think he likes teaching, and he is good at that. I think he likes picking the right silent plates and having his CDC in Thom Browne. I also think he likes being there a lot and being absorbed by his job.
The problem is that the workplace he is in is not one that is set up to his needs right now - it's not set up so that he can rest enough, so that he can eat well, so that he can exercise, or whatever he needs to do to help him manage his brain and nervous system. It's not set up so that if he is triggered, he and his team knows how to keep going with the service *and* not abandon him to the worst of his brain.
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Ohhhh it's bad
Carmy ignoring Claire's call and not calling Tony feels bizarre stripped of the context of his panic attack that morning. But we know that anxiety and panic and executive dysfunction take simple things and make them insurmountable. It's not about Sydney in that moment, or even really about Claire*, and self sabotage feels so weighted with judgement when I think about what those frozen moments feel like from the inside. And I've had my diagnoses for 12 years! I've been doing that work, the long slog of trying to make sure my employees know enough context that my MH doesn't fuck up their day, whilst also maintaining my own dignity and right to privacy.
The disentangling of symptoms from personality traits is so hard - fuck ups from trauma responses, what was preventable, and what might have happened even if you did everything right. I never want to lose sight of compassion for Carmy, and the reality of how long it takes to break those cycles.
I also never want to stop seeing the power that he has over the people that he works with, and how, unfortunately, one of the responsibilities of leadership is that you have to be trying to get your shit together, you have to know yourself, and know how your baggage, combined with your power could be creating harm. It’s hard, but there’s not way around it. It is essential that he gets the support he needs, and puts the measures in place that means that he can also be vulnerable, not just for him, but for the team as whole. The power and the lack of framework together are so very harmful for everyone.
makes for delicious tv though 😉
I think a lot about the ticket machines in The Bear. I'm not thinking about them as a former line chef, cus I'm not that, I'm an artist and writer, that waitressed for a while (while a lot of chefs did a lot of coke out back!) and The Bear is fiction, not a documentary. Those little tickets are used for so many things. They're the sound of pressure. They're where a bunch of intrusive thoughts get flashed up on the screen. They are the presence of tech and of speed and alienation. They are the gap where two human beings, one asking for food, and one cooking that food, become consumer and producer. They are a presence of the machine in the workplace, and they stand in for Marcus's machines in McDonald's and for Evil Joel McHale and for financial failure.
One of the things that capitalism demands is that we always listen to that machine. That when we are making a choice, between the people stood around us, who we work with daily, who we live massive chunks of our life with, and the demand for production for go go go - that we choose the latter, even if it harms the former. That we open for service, even though one of our oldest friends just got stabbed. That we prioritise getting the service turned around on Friends and Family night (the easiest night of the year to go out, pour more wine, and say service is a little delayed, but we've got this), rather than maybe asking Fak or even Claire, to come and talk to Carmy through the door, as well, make sure that he's OK. That we just keep going.
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And there are so many really important reasons to do that! Keeping going is how we learn and grow, it's how we make sure that we can pay the bills, how we provide beautiful experiences for customers and guests who are more than consumers to us.
But at some point, we have to ask at what cost. When do we stop and make different? When do we try something else, make new systems, that work for us?
A moment - a small, tiny moment - of triumph for me, is when Richie and Syd turn the table around. So rather than one person, facing the tickets alone, with their back to the kitchen as they yell out orders, the person on Expo faces in. yes they can see the tickets, but they can also see the people they are working with. They can see stress, and worry and joy. They can see how hard they are working. They can see that they are not alone, not just in a promise before service, but during service, when you need that connection most.
My hope is that Season 3 will have more of them making these decisions - ones that lean into seeing each other, where their relationships keep growing, and they build a system where the love and care they have for each other is truthfully at the heart of it.
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Richie is not my bag, that's just for me, personally, but I get how much he means to others, and he's beautiful here.
*Man, I do think the romance subplot was a bit of a misstep. Pop always feels like such a waste of the audience's time, time not spent with Ebra and Tina, time spent on a presentation of romance that has been done to death and is never especially satisfying. Truncates a lot of empathy for Carmy. Boo. Hiss.
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spacedustpan · 6 months
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I wanted to make my own separate post as opposed to commenting on the other one.
I get that sometimes when you see a bunch of people laughing and having fun with the funny part of something important it can sometimes feel like they missed the point of the important thing.
But just because people are talking to each other about the funny part on tumblr and Facebook and Twitter doesn't mean that they didn't pay attention to the important part.
It means that they probably didn't have anything substantial to say or add about the important part.
And in the case of the hbomberguy video where the important part is properly giving credit and payment to researchers, writers, and artists whose material is used for creation of youtube videos and other paid creations:
He stated it pretty clearly and provided a great playlist for people to take immediate action with by checking out those creators and subscribing to anyone they vibe with.
There are 4 obvious actions in response to the video:
Dunk on the bad actors listed in the video - easy, funny, low effort, and it gets more people to watch the videos by Harris and Todd that not only inform on who is plagiarizing but what it is and why it's bad
Subscribe to smaller creators whose work is good and is often jacked by larger creators - easy, fun, low effort but medium time investment
Provide information about another plagiarizer/someone that doesn't give meaningful credit - high effort, requires time to research and compile evidence, has a risk of backlash
Put together a post highlighting writers or artists whose work could be used as a resource for youtube videos or written essays - could be low or high effort, takes time to compile and link examples of the work you'd like to highlight, likely may not be seen by anyone that would actually use those resources and may end up as wasted effort
You're going to see a lot of #1 because it's normal to joke about things and discuss things on social media. And #1 does have the benefit of exposing a larger audience to the videos and informing them on the topic.
A lot of #2 IS happening, but most people don't post to Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr when they subscribe to a new youtube channel or follow a new writer on social media.
Most people don't have the time or energy to create something for #3 or #4 and the ones that do might be drowned out in the circulation of the easiest one which is #1.
Because #1 is easiest there's going to be a lot more of it.
I get the gut urge to assume that people are missing the point because they're not shouting out artists and writers they like.
But realistically that's not the only action to be taken and the easiest actions with positive effects have likely already been taken, in that the actual creators of the stolen content have gotten more traffic and hopefully will get more credit and pay in the future and other creators that needed a spotlight have been spotlighted not only by Harris but by other creators as well.
For example I recently followed La'Ron Readus by reccomendation of FD Signifier who likes La'Ron's content and gave the shoutout in his community tab in reference to Harris's video in order to get La'Ron some more subscribers.
If you have someone cool to show off in your back pocket and you have either an audience that will take a quick link and click it with just a simple "they're cool check them out" or if you don't have an audience but do have the skills to make a convincing pitch about why someone should check them out as a resource for their business or paid creative endeavor please do so! Now is a great time!
TLDR
People at large/the crowd are gonna have some fun with this, but the positive actions that are easiest to take are personal and private so you likely won't see them other than in follower counts --- or (hopefully) a greater shift in youtube etiquette to better credit, pay, and direct an audience and other creators (as potential employers) to the people that made the resources used in videos.
Shout out posts that hype up an artist or writer are great but not everyone is equipped to make them. Not everyone is a hype person or sales person.
If you aren't, then no sweat. It's fine to just bring attention to Harris and Todd's videos through jokes so that more people check them out and get informed.
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askagamedev · 23 days
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Hello. Do you think having a game programming YouTube channel can be useful as a portfolio? Like recreating game mechanics from existing games or creating new ones, and explaining my thoughts and decisions through the videos. Similar to Artstation for artists, but in this case for programming.
I do like the idea of having an online portfolio where a candidate can showcase their skills, but I am not sure that a youtube channel is the ideal platform for it. I can see good gains to be had from doing so, but there are also non-trivial drawbacks. I'll explain what I mean.
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First, doing personal game development projects earns top marks. There's no better way to stand out as a candidate than to have experience doing that work already and game development is no exception. Show us that you can do the job by doing similar work. Earning experience as an amateur will translate to leveling up as a professional.
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Second, there's definitely a lot of benefit to practicing communication skills which you get from posting for public consumption. My own personal ability to communicate has improved significantly since I began this blog. The regular practice of posting to the blog has honed my skill at taking difficult, technical, and/or complex concepts and conveying them in an intuitive and understandable way. These are extremely helpful skills in a professional setting, especially when communicating with others who are not versed in the technical or design context.
There are also two drawbacks I see here.
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The first drawback is in the choice of platform. Video production is extremely time-consuming - at the very least you will need to record the needed footage, write and record the commentary, add any needed visual bits (e.g. intro, outro, key art, transitions, etc.) and (most time-consuming of all) edit each video together. Most of these skills are not directly transferable to game development and are the primary reason I decided against going the Youtube route for myself.
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The second drawback is in the public-facing nature of posting your work. If you get hired by a game company, you will become a corporate representative to the players of that company's games 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Your personal public posts will likely be read and dissected by the game's fans and used as potential ammunition against your employer. It is not abnormal for public blogs and the like to need shutting down (either temporarily or permanently) once you get hired. It may become a legal liability and that's not something you want to deal with while juggling a full-time job. I avoid this by staying anonymous but it's a double-edged sword - I must also forgo the benefit of having a public portfolio that I can show to potential employers.
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That's basically the rundown. There's a lot to be gained from doing personal game dev work and posting it publicly, but you don't need to go all or nothing. There are really good skills you will develop by doing so, but you should absolutely be mindful of the major drawbacks of doing so in a public venue. I would encourage you to consider these issues and find a solution that you think will work best for you.
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lentendays · 2 months
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Kuroshitsuji 209 Theory
Snake will be a bizarre doll.
Let me explain. I don't think Snake's role is over. Yana hasn't really been in the habit of fridging characters without payoff, and Snake's arc hasn't paid off yet.
When Snake reappeared at the end of the Murder Mystery arc, we established two things:
1) Snake wanted to kill "Smile" for doing something to his family, the circus troupe
2) Ciel employed Snake under the lie that they were going to find his family
These two things immediately foreshadow future conflict, where Snake will inevitably find out the Phantomhive household massacred the Noah's Ark circus. At the start of his employment, he wouldn't have hesitated to try to kill them for it. But we get to know Snake more - he's kind, insecure and shy, willing to give a job his all, and responds most to kindness from others. He gets treated well by Ciel and the servants; told that his looks don't matter, given an education and housing, and has saved Ciel on more than one occasion. We don't know who he would choose once the truth comes out, and that presents great conflict. With Doll showing up, we knew this reveal was going to come.
And it did, and it broke Snake, then he died saving a boy from Doll. But that doesn't seem to be the end.
The major deaths we've seen in Black Butler have all happened for a reason to drive the plot forward; Madame Red was discovered to be Jack the Ripper and her death served to introduce Grell and shinigami. Her story was over. Agni died at peace, protecting Soma, who has now turned into a vengeful possibly inhuman force. His story had little arc beyond protecting Soma and suspecting Sebastian, and it heartbreakingly concluded well. We are still picking at the mystery behind the Phantomhive parents' deaths.
Snake's death offered no new information and did not conclude his arc. He was still in denial and wondering what was happening in his last moments. If Yana wanted to kill off a major character for shock value, Bardroy could have died in the previous arc. We had his backstory and there was nothing new to share. But he didn't die.
For Snake - who has a lot more story to tell - to die for a child we just met, having been unable to process his love for the circus and the Phantomhives and what he's just learned about both or take any action, feels too abrupt for what's been set up. He *is* dead; the shinigami's presence and his reel proves that. But will he stay that way?
We still don't know how the bizarre dolls are made, only that they require a constant supply of blood. Snake's corpse is now in Doll's hands, and we know she definitely is a bizarre doll. We never got to see her actual death onscreen but it's extremely unlikely that Sebastian would miss a kill shot.
Hence: Snake will come back as a bizarre doll.
We do know that Bizarre dolls retain the memory and probably personalities of who they were before they died. Doll remembered everything and while she's more violent than she was in the past, that can be explained by the trauma she went through and her desire for vengeance. Same for R!Ciel and whatever he has planned.
Yes, there was a shinigami for Snake, but notice that this isn't anyone we've seen before. Why introduce a new shinigami when there are so many established ones?
One potential reason: because everyone we know is already investigating the Undertaker.
In the Campania arc, we know the prototype bizarre dolls were created by editing the reels. We don't know if this is still the case, but if it IS, and the Undertaker needed Snake's - it would be easier to get from a shinigami we don't know. We don't know their loyalties, or how strong they are, whether they've heard of the Undertaker situation. And if it comes down to it, we don't like them enough yet to feel any way if Undertaker ends up offing them for the reels he needs.
So it's not impossible that Snake comes back as a bizarre doll. And that would put his loyalties further into question. Does he side with R!Ciel and his friend Doll and the memory of his troupe, who were kidnapping and killing children for bone prosthetics - in addition to the fact that they would be the only faction capable of keeping him "alive" as a bizarre doll? Or does he help O!Ciel, who lies aside has treated him kindly and given him peace and an education, at what would be Snake's own "second life" as cost?
This would be a far more interesting story than him dying confused with little resolution.
Narratively, in a meta sense, there are a couple reasons this makes sense. We already have Soma vying for revenge; there doesn't need to be another similar story. We saw that it was possible for Lau to go back for Bard in the previous arc, despite having little reason to and not really knowing Bard in the first place. So why was Finny, who's always been shown as ride-or-die, the heart of the servants, who clearly cares about his colleagues and Snake, not allowed to do the same for Snake (in a narrative sense)? Because he needed to leave Snake behind to let a different story start.
Anyway that's my theory. Thoughts?
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