#but it's mostly because I don't like going out and returning like stuff wasn't happening so it's really a me thing so anxiety won't spike

[that-spider-fan-over-there]

*dusting off this old blog* Well it's been a while, isn't it?

#hello :D so I've been missing since September- scheduled queue aside #Life was stressing me out and I needed to cool off to focus on wrapping up the year else I'd lose it #then Life got worse by Sep-Oct (y'know. horrible real life events + personal stuff + holy shit I need to learn how to Adult) #forgot my password for a while so I was mostly on Twitter and it was Not Fun (and it still isn't) #and I remembered it by the end of January where I was getting most of my shit together and was mostly on Discord with friends #who were the reason I wasn't completely losing it so if you're reading this. thank you and I love you very much <3 #but I missed being on Tumblr and the friends/moots i made. just got nervous to come back here. idk why. brain works in weird ways. #it looks like I'm justifying why I wasn't here and on one hand. yeah it's kind of an update #but it's mostly because I don't like going out and returning like stuff wasn't happening so it's really a me thing so anxiety won't spike #idk if I'm gonna go missing like that again or not but. yeah i'm still alive #(felt good to write that last phrase so maybe *something's* going right in life) #but yeah i think i'm back (not 100% because. Life) and will do a pinned. if you read all of it thank you! :D #okay i'm gonna post this now before my brain decides it's a bad idea-

[the-ace-with-spades]

Random ass idea that came just as I laid down to sleep (I'm on night duty now, don't be alarmed by the timing fellow Europeans):

Hangster Soulmates AU but slightly to the left.

Soulmates aren't found, they're made — your soulmark (symbol, picture, text, names, there's lots of theories what each type of a soulmark means, etc) show up only after you meet someone and make the effort to build a relationship.

Jake had always been fixated on finding his soulmate (either because his parents were perfect for each other and were soulmates or because they were terrible for each other and weren't, you pick). Bradley had a slightly less romanticised idea about soulmates, having grown up with his mom being less than a full person after Goose died, never stopping grieving, and with Mav and Ice, still very taboo as same-sex soulmates (I imagine Mav and Ice got their soulmarks straight after Layton, still on the carrier). He, however, always thought it'd be effortless in sense that it'll come naturally and even the hardships will seem easy once he meets his soulmate.

The first time Jake and Bradley are together, the soulmarks don't show. First year passes, second year passes, and third year passes and nothing.

The longer they're together, the more logical it is to say they aren't each other's soulmates.

There are couples who aren't soulmates and live long happy lives together, but this isn't something neither Jake or Bradley want. Jake tells himself that if by the fourth year there's no soulmark, they will break up. Bradley is in sort of a limbo, because his relationship with Jake had been easy and natural, and he genuinely thought they would turn out to be soulmates. He decides he doesn't care that much after all and wants their lives to be entangled even without the soulmark. In the meantime, as the time goes, Jake becomes more and more distant.

Jake gets a soulmark a week before their anniversary (two planes and a sunset in the background, travelling up the space between his shoulder blades), expecting Bradley to tell him on the anniversary that he got his too. It doesn't happen because Bradley doesn't have a soulmark at all.

The day of their fourth anniversary, Bradley wants to talk about their plans for the future, but Jake breaks up with him before, telling him he's not going to settle for less than his soulmate and they obviously would know by then if they're soulmates by now.

Things turn bitter, they're still in the same squadron, Bradley saying a little too much and then leaves for a different base without ever taking them back.

When they meet during the return to Top Gun, Jake is still bitter, both because of the stuff Bradley said and because they had something good and he broke up with him to find something better with his soulmate and still hasn't found them.

Bradley is bitter, but in a sad way, feeling like he's never going to be enough, especially with Mav as a second reminder hovering around.

Post-mission, things get better, they apologize to each other and start spending time together again (mostly in group/work settings).

Bradley can feel that something is happening between them again but tries to seem oblivious to all of Jake's flirty demeanor because he knows Jake is still obsessed with finding his soulmate and he obviously isn't them. Jake wasn't acting like this on purpose at the beginning, it just showed up naturally when he and Bradley started talking in a friendly manner again, but the more it happened, the more he wanted it to happen — his soulmate wasn't there and Bradley was and he alread knows how good they could be together.

This goes on for some time until Bradley snaps and tells him to stop giving him hope and mixed signals with his behavior and that he's not up for being around as a second best option just until Jake finds his soulmate.

Obviously, Jake needs to decide what he wants — and he decides he wants Bradley.

It takes 3 months together for the soulmark to show up on Bradley (two planes with a sunset as a background travelling down the space of over his sternum).

#i could also go on with the angsty drama #re: bradley thinking jake is only staying with him now because they're soulmates etc etc #but lets leave it here #hangster #tgm #bradley rooster bradshaw #jake hangman seresin

[slyfire]

Connection between Kuras & the Soulless?

So I had a little thought that could easily be/mean nothing, but I thought to share anyways.

Note that I've not a great theory person, but I hope to at least give a general sense of what I'm talking about. Also this isn't really a theory per se, but more just a couple observations. The basics of what I wanna talk about is related to when we see Kuras in-game, along with some design things.

I first started thinking about a 'connection' between the soulless that attacks the MC at the start (that's later killed by Mhin), and our lovely angel-doctor Kuras simply based on Kuras's first and second appearance.

We first meet Kuras after (I believe?) an unknown amount of time after the MC (the player character) is almost killed by the soulless. MC regains consciousness, and finds themself in a clinic in Eridia, being watched by Kuras. MC finds out Kuras both saved their life, and also somehow stitched their arm back on.

I brought you to my clinic, of course. You were the only survivor from the caravan, barely clinging to life. You needed immediate treatment.

Which...you provided?

Yes.

This entire first meeting doesn't really give any meaningful connections, but does raise some questions.

How did Kuras find the MC? Was he just out & about, and noticed the attack? Was he told? Could he sense it? ...etc.

But from I get from the opening scene, MC was close to Eridia, but not that close, so the question of how exactly Kuras found the MC still twirls around in my head a bit.

So the story so far is.... Caravan Attacked by Soulless > MC left for dead > Saved by Kuras, and wakes in Eridia.

Eventually, Caravan!Soulless makes it's return, but it's cut short by Mhin who kills the soulless for good. But more importantly, Kuras also shows up.

Thematically, his appearance is most likely just a 'Hey, you've met all the LIs!', but plot wise, it's never really explained. Kuras just sorta shows up. You could assume where MC was attack was on the way to The Wet Wick, or assume this attack happened near the clinic's location. But there's no mention.

So both times we see Kuras is after an almost-lethal confrontation with the soulless.......yes that's all I had when I got thinking. I wasn't gonna dwell on it more, until I looked at the soulless & Kuras's 'true' form side by side...

There's two main elements both share.

Eyes all over body

Many fingers Starting with the more clear one, both figures have eyes/eye-likes things all over their bodies. Placements are different, but both are about the same shape. The soulless's eyes are a yellow colour, and while we can't really exactly say for the eye colour on Kuras, if his 'human' appearance is anything to go by...

We know Kuras is an angel, and angels in Christianity are often associated with eyes, so it being a key feature in this 'true' form makes a lot of sense.

We also see two crying eyes on Kuras's 'true' form's lower torso which have a different look then the rest, and the Soulless also has two round-shaped eyes on it's head.

Now this is a bit more uncertain since Kuras's true form is only a silhouette for now, but from the looks of it, the hands have fingers with longer claw-like nails. On the back of the Soulless, there's a bunch of sharp shapes that as you get closer to the head, look more and more like human fingers with longer claw-like nails.

There's a few more loosey-goosey stuff, like the shoulder areas or upper thigh areas, but nothing certain.

...and that's all have to say!

Quick summary, but there might be a connection between this Soulless and Kuras because...

Kuras always seems to show up after an encounter with this Soulless without any given reason

There are some design similarities between Kuras's 'true' form and the Soulless

I'm not saying anything like I think Kuras is the Soulless, but it's food for thought.

Well, to me it is. I mostly made this for myself so I could put my thoughts together, so please don't take this super seriously, That being said, if you have any further thoughts, I would love to hear them too!

#sorry if something doesn't make sense #touchstarved game #touchstarved #touchstarvedgame #red spring studios #kuras touchstarved #touchstarved kuras #kuras #my post

[theredcuyo]

So, like i said before, i married Elliot in My second playtrhu

And this funny thing happened were our kid was born while he wasn't at the farm

You see, he asked around sometime in summer for a child and i was just like yeah sure, kids are fucking useless not a problem or anything and it's not like the game reflects on it (even if i'm a girl) so why not

I kinda forgot about it except for his few reminders, and then we got to his birthday, i took a bottle of ink out of a chest to give him and when i went out the cutscene for his 14 heart event started

And he says he'll go for like a week or something?, and i'm like sure it's fine i missed him so mUCH

And i thought, oh well, the kid thing will take longer i guess or something, because that counts as a event, right?, and Elliot's event doesn't happen if in the next days there's a another one

But then i woke up to fall 8 with the message that farmer had given birth during the night to a baby girl

And i laughed so hard my stomach still kinda hurts

Because this man, the guy who forever lives in his honeymoon face, the guy who sent letters every day for a week away from his partner, You know, the same guy who wrote his whole book mostly because the person he had a crush on, just missed his daughter's birth (who, btw, i named Ophelia, just cause i think it fits him)

Basically, he went on a short trip and his wife had their kid

Alone

In the middle of the night

LMAO

In my personal canon, Ophelia is a premature baby and it's likely at fault because i went to the mines for stuff i needed for an oil maker just the day before (And Elliot wouldn't have left if he knew she was soon to be born)

Also, now add that in his letters he says this things:

"P.S. I hope you had a peaceful night, and weren't too scared all alone in that big house!"

"I'm sure your time has been much more exciting! I can't wait to return and see what progress has been made."

"Just don't stay out too late in the mines, my love. It's dangerous in there! If you must go... bring plenty of food."

He probably cried himself to despair when a still sleepy farmer pointed upstairs after welcoming him and he just saw a baby and realized what happened

#elliot stardew valley #stardew valley elliot #stardew valley #stardew farmer #fun shit that happened to me #also i married haley in my first playtrhu if ya wondered #i dont regret it at all #i love them both so mUch #like i literally planted mostly only sunflowers for her #even with joja destroyed #and i have a pond of squids just so elliot can have infinite ink #in my personal canon farmer didnt even mind having the baby alone #bc like farmer kinda dies in daily basis on the Skull caverns #and she just knew there was no way Elliot coulve known #but farmer likes teasing him about it

[yarameijer]

HI

I hope your doing well

So yeah!! My question is

Does Tenma's parents know about all 5 sector, travel to past, aliens and in space

If yes. How did they came to know

What were their reactions

Also any conversation between Teams coach or any other member with them

Heyhey! Yes, I’m doing well!

It actually differs for each of my stories whether Tenma's parents know about his adventures or not, but specifically in AR, the answer would be ‘’sort of’’. Tenma has quite regular contact with them through phone calls and does tell them a bit about his adventures, but not everything.

For example, in the first season they know Fifth Sector exists and that the Holy Road is a competition to decide its next leader. They know Tenma isn't a fan of the current leader, but they don't know any of the details - they're assuming that the current Holy Emperor is making too strict rules, or not really putting the money where it should go (the soccer clubs), also because Tenma mentioned the Raimon team was in poor state when he first joined. So yes, they know there are issues because Tenma told them, but he also kept out a lot of the details because he wasn't sure they'd take him seriously. 

On the other hand, they know nothing about the time traveling, simply because Tenma doesn't think they'll believe him. Tenma may have told them a few stories, but edited out the “oh yeah this happened 500 years in the past” part. Rather, he's told them he made a new friend (Fei) and that there was a problematic soccer team they dealt with, plus some details about specific things that happened during their travels. While, of course, leaving out the time relevant details.

They do know about the Grand Celesta Galaxy, for a very simple reason: the Earth Eleven players were minors, and parental permission was needed for them to be allowed to be part of the team and travel to space. This was handled by the Japanese Youth Soccer Association, most likely Gouenji himself, in hopes of convincing all the parents. That took quite some effort, not just with Tenma's parents but also those of the other members, but eventually they succeeded.

That being said, Tenma has told his parents quite a lot about his time in space and this time didn't leave out the details, also because they were very interested in what space was like. Since they already know the truth, Tenma isn't worried about them not believing him, so he's quite open about it.

As for their reactions, as mentioned before they don't know the full truth about Fifth Sector, so they were mostly just disappointed for Tenma when he told them Raimon (initially) wasn't what he expected, and supportive towards him during the Holy Road. And, of course, happy and proud when Raimon won and Tenma seemed to have found his place in the team.

Their reaction to the Grand Celesta Galaxy was a lot more dramatic. When Tenma joined Inazuma Japan they were proud, but when they found out about the alien part they were against him going, and very worried even after they did eventually give their consent. They worried the whole time he was away, but once he returned to Earth and told them about space, they were very proud of him. But also sort of unwilling to let him do dangerous stuff like this again (not that that's stopping him, he just doesn't tell them).

As for contact with Tenma's team… no, not really. They trust Aki to be his acting guardian while they're not present, so school issues mostly go through her unless it's very dramatic, and so far nothing has happened that classifies as “very dramatic”; Tenma's grades are okay, he's not a troublemaker in class, there's nothing that really needs their interference. They did meet Gouenji and Kidou when they were told about the Grand Celesta Galaxy, and are aware that Kidou was Tenma's coach at one point, but those conversations were really focused on the whole “aliens are real and we need your son to fight them” thing.

They do eventually meet some of Raimon's members, but I'm planning to write one-shots about that for the AR one-shot collection, so I won't say anything more than that!

#inazuma eleven go #inazuma eleven #ie11 #ina11 #ie go #matsukaze tenma #accidental reverse #raimon #accidental reverse ask

[lowkeyrobin]

TOMMYINNIT ; music taste

summary ; you try to get him into your rock/metal music taste on stream and it goes surprisingly well

warnings ; language

genre ; fluff

word count ; 556

guys I'm a fan of every band/artist mentioned don't come for me 😭🙏

masterlist ; my rock/metal/idk playlist

"I'm only doing this because I love you" Tommy groans and sighs, looking at his camera with a 'not angry, just disappointed look'

Chat responds with defenses of your music taste, being much different than many of your friends.

You lightly shove his shoulder and find your rock playlist on his Spotify account, and scroll all the way down to Waiting For The End by Linkin Park.

"This is more like, nu-metal / alt rock. Much lighter than other stuff, I'm easing you in, Big Man" You smile, leaning back in your chair as you share an earbud with the blonde.

Tommy lightly bops his head for the first 45 seconds, then intently listens as Chester performs his lines with the very comforting, slight strain in his voice in which he calls in desperation.

By the two minute mark, Tommy was pleased. And by the end, he gave it a 7/10, signaling he was a Linkin Park fan in the making. That recieved a loud round of applause from you, genuinely happy that he seemed to actually enjoy the art of Linkin Park, the industrial, hip-hop, alt-rock/nu-metal sound of one of your favorite bands.

Next was recommended and voted upon by chat, Cobra (Rock Remix) by Megan Thee Stallion featuring Spiritbox.

Tommy wasn't the biggest fan, but he still jammed out, mostly finding displeasure in Megan's lyrics because hearing about someone's genuine, rough moments made him sad more than anything. He did actually like the song, he just had to get used to hearing about venting and whatnot in music like a sheltered child. He happened to love Courtney's vocals, leading you to switch to Secret Garden so he can hear more.

Sadly, he didn't end up liking Seether or Saliva that much, but he seemed interested in New Years Day and Sleep Token.

He seemed to really like Alkaline, and you replayed it at least five times to he could learn the lyrics and sing along with you. Safe to say when the VOD came out, the editors were going to go crazy and people would end up making the clip a Spotify podcast episode to listen.

Safe to say, it went better than expected, and Tommy had to make a new playlist to share some heavier music with you.

"What was that other one? The one that said reminded you of Superman or Batman or something?" The blonde asks, typing away to make a playlist on his desktop.

"Blurry by Puddle Of Mudd" You smile, patting him on the shoulder, "Chat, this went well. Tommy's joined the cool kids cult"

Tommy places a kiss on your cheek with a little thank you for appreciation. "God dammit, I wanna play Alkaline again!" He groans, returning to clicking away on his keyboard and mouse, adding some songs.

"Got a new favorite song, Simons?" You smile smugly

"Yes! It's very good, thank you!"

He invites you as a collaborator over Discord and uploads a picture of you two for the playlist cover, and leaks it to stream, telling chat to go find it like hunting dogs.

By the end of the stream, you were yelling, and probably disturbing neighbors in the process, the lyrics to 1000 Oceans by Tokio Hotel, slowly closing the stream out with a little karaoke finale.

"Thank you, Y/n"

"Anytime, Tommy"

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt preferences #mcyt x reader #tommyinnit x reader #mcyt oneshot #tommyinnit oneshot #music recommendation #music recs #rock #metal

[the-fiction-witch]

Really?

Media IRL

Character Thomas Brodie Sangster

Couple Thomas X Reader

Rating Flirty

I rushed around like a headless chicken in the utter chaos of the last few days, everything had so suddenly changed, I wasn't sure if it was true or not but still it's not like we had much of a choice. We were being forced to evacuate, for how long I'm not sure, where we were to go I'm not sure, But this seemed to be a real situation. Even if everyone seemed to be treating it like the literal end of the world.

I checked our bags ready to go making sure we had all we needed when I stopped as my hand me a familiar feeling of cold and silvery plastic. 

I sighed and rolled my eyes, "Thomas?"

"Yep?" he asks as he returns from the bathroom with the stuff we would need from in there,

"Really?" I asked, 

"What?"

"Really?" I repeated as I pulled out a handful of condoms, "Really!?" I asked, "We are being forced to leave our home for our own safety and this is what you thought to pack?"

"Yeah?"

"REALLY!"

"Yeah. always good to be prepared."

"Prepared?" I glared, "We are in an apocalyptic situation right now and time is very much not on our side and THIS is what you decided to use your precious time to pack? do you honestly, HONESTLY Really think as we evacuate our home, flee across the city, possibly the country, possibly the country, for who knows how long, and to what end, we will have time, let alone be in the mood to be having sex?"

He glared and crossed his arms, "Are you really trying to tell me when they give us the all clear, which I am sure they are going to in like a couple of days when this dies down, and we suddenly find out we are happy, and safe, and everything is okay, we won't be thrilled with joy and adrenaline, and want to celebrate the fact we survived what is being labelled as a legitimate apocalypse with a shag?"

"God damn it." I sighed,

"yeah. See. cause you know I'm right." he said kissing my temple and carrying on with his packing, 

"Just because you have a point does not make you right."

"Yes, it does."

"No, it doesn't"

"It really does babe." He laughed, "Besides they have other uses."

"Oh? go on then?"

".... waterproofing things. latex is very waterproof."

"Okay, that's a decent justification. what other uses?"

"If you don't have rubber gloves? but need to touch something gross. It's like a latex glove its sanitary."

"Okay, any more?"

"... No I think that's all I have, that and I'm convinced the one in my wallet might be good luck at this point." 

"Good luck?"

"I'll I'm saying is good stuff happens when I have it in my wallet, bad stuff happens when I don't."

"Really? What kinda bad stuff has happened when you didn't have it in your wallet?"

"Three muggings, two stolen motorbikes, and that girl who tried to pull out my teeth on a first date." 

"Fair enough, and good things when you've had it?"

"Four of my best paying and recognized roles, that lottery ticket I found on the floor for five hundred pounds, and literally coming across this house for sale by chance on my walk," he shrugged, "Plus I had it in my wallet the day I met you." He smiled kissing my head, 

"H-How long have you been carrying it around?"

"... I do not remember."

"It has to be out of date by now?"

"Ohh it is. I have no intention of using it I'm mostly just afraid what will happen if I throw it away."

"Whatever, fine we will take them. But we are not having sex."

"We'll see." he winked, 

#thomasbrodiesangster #tbs smut #tbs imagines #thomas sangster imagine #thomas sangster #thomas brodie sangster imagine #tbs #tbs imagine #thomas brodie sangster #thomas brodie sangster smut

[universaln0b0dy]

Hey hey! Could I request a series of the Twisted Wonderland boys being turned into half bug creatures and us having to take care of them? (You can keep them their original size or shrink them down I don't mind) Please, please, pleeeeeeassse!

That's such a sweet idea! But I can't promise this will be a series. Here have Riddle and Idia! Rest of the dormheads following!

《Summary》: After an potion incident goes wrong he is a half big creature, because of the school not bein safe for half bugs he hides in the only place he deems safe. Ramshackle

《Note》: Halfway established relationship? Well at least a tiny bit of pining-

Riddle Rosehearts:

Just what has happened? The potion that exploded should not have such side effects! Riddle was incredibly angry and confused. Not only did he now have antlers on his head, but also a set of wings under a spotty shell.

Lucky he hadn't shrinked, but a lot of people stared at him weirdly and Floyd even tried to yank his antlers. He really had nowhere else to go, because even in his dorm everyone bothered him.

He knocks to the door of Ramshackle and you open it, looking at Riddle. "Oh, you're half lady Bug now." It wasn't the strangest thing you had seen, but you let him into the Ramshackle dorm.

You and him decide that he can stay in Ramshackle for now until Crewel has finished the return potion. You try serving him tea to calm Riddles nerves, only for the two of you realising that he doesn't like tea at the moment.

It was quite the shook for the both of you. Turns out Riddle now prefers the food typical for lady bugs. You need to giggle handing him leaves infected by the smaller bugs, watching Riddle eat them.

Riddle was at first concerned that you would be repulsed by this, the same way he was, but instead of turning your face away in disgust you stayed with him, even asking if he wanted more.

The both of you spend the whole day together, Riddle even taking you flying out of fun. (He might not admit it, but you clinging onto him while the both of you flew around sent his heart racing)

"You are from now on my personal lucky charm!" You joked making Riddle whip his head around. You had taken your time to tease him, because you rarely had the ability to do so. In some way Riddle didn't want to turn back, because you showed him so much attention.

But all good things must come to an end, with Crewel having brewed the right potion. Jokingly you flick one of Riddles antlers. "I will miss you being my personal lucky charm."

Riddle just smiles at this. "I will stay your personal lucky charm, with and without lady bug like features.

Idia Shroud

He wanted to hide, you shouldn't see him like this, but Crewel choose you to take care of him. For the first time in years he attended alchemy classes personally present, only to be turned into a bug, a cockroach to be exact.

He had shrunken down to a bit taller than the average cockroach, had antlers and the mouth piece typical for such roaches, other than that he was still Idia.

The whole way to Ramshackle he was worried that you were disgusted by him. Not like he wouldn't understand, on top of him never leaving his room he now became a bug and not just any bug, a bug almost everyone hated, exept for you.

"Woah! You are a cockroach, those are amazing animals! Did you know that they can eat stuff like paper? Or that they can survive a lot of different climates? Like tropical heat or freezing temperatures! There was even a rumour they could survive radioactivity with was proven wrong! They are just more resistant to it than human-" You look at Idia before apologising. You really didn't want to talk his ear of about your animal knowledge.

Idia could relate to that. He also tended to ramble about things he liked, with a smile he encouraged you to keep going.

The both of you spend a log of time together, with you mostly taking care of him. Idia sighed, what he was experiencing made him think that maybe the real world wasn't so bad. You gushing over him, about random facts with a squeal every time he showed you another cockroach ability he had gained, only to realise that once he turned back you might won't talk to him anymore.

Together you watched anime and you listened to what Idia told you about each character.

But sadly all of this might came to an end, when Crewel showed up with the potion to turn Idia back. With a heavy heart Idia drinks the potion and Crewel advises him to rest a for an hour.

"Idia! Before you go, let's watch that anime together you told me about. I don't think I can watch it without talking to you after each episode anymore!" Idia freezes up as you say that, his flaming hair turning pink.

"Of course! T-that would be nice!"

(Okay I need to do a bit of research on what to make the other dormheads, cause I really dislike misinformation and I didn't research lady bugs or cockroaches for this 😭

#twisted wonderland #x reader #idia shroud #riddle rosehearts #unistwistedwonderland #They turned into bugs!!

[haphazardcorvid]

I don't usually post anything about qsmp (or post at all because I have difficulties with communicating myself online, so if the tone or wording is weird or off-putting, I apologise) but I kinda wanted to share some thoughts on how the Meta unintentionally affects the rp, especially in the case of members going missing.

(Also this will be Long. I'm sorry. Concise writing is a gift I do not possess.)

This isn't like, the fault of the members or storyline, but I think it what inevitably happens on a server where RP and planned character lore blur with complete casual play where it's just... Real people interacting. This isn't even really criticism, just observation, because there's really no blame or fixable issue. Nobody is at fault, it's simply A Thing That Can Happen, especially when the server prides itself on spontaneity and leaving the characters AND creators in the dark (which is a thing that overall makes the qsmp really exciting) about the larger lore and other characters lore.

The Meta of real life can really influence the rp reactions, however unintentionally, and I'm mostly noting it in the case of characters going missing. For what I think is the best example, when q!Baghera was missing for AGES, I genuinely think there should have been a much bigger in-character server reaction than the one we saw? Especially considering how active she is and her wide array of friends and family. (Correct me if you saw otherwise, it just seemed more minimal from my non-french speaking pov, maybe I'm wrong).

The issue seems to stem from the creators themselves knowing that the other creator is simply on hiatus because of real life things, and that bleeds into the rp unintentionally, especially when their character didn't see the missing one actually go missing. It felt similar with Jaiden, but also less so, because she wasn't as active as Baghera and wouldn't be interactive for long periods after Bobby's death. She's still a good example though.

So the characters don't know where their friend is or even if they're not around for a bad reason, but the players know the fellow player is doing Stuff and can't come online, and it seems to muddle the rp reaction. Probably because it's not heavy scripted RP - they react blindly to events and often their characters are just extensions of themselves. (Tbh it didn't help with q!Baghera that they just got new people, and then the eggs disappeared, so all other thoughts just flew out the window). I just wish she'd gotten a stronger reaction, and genuinely think real life meta affected that. Like with some perspectives (q!Phil, for example) it was hard to know she was actually Missing missing (nobody mentioned it).

I think this is inevitable when the approach to rp is more heavily Reacting rather than Acting (there's acting too, but qsmp scripting seems to act more like guidelines than dictated interactions). It pops up a lot - when Etoiles was in America (tbf his character is more Lone Wolf, Mr 200k), Jaiden, etc. Then, because that person physically can't come online in real life, and there's often zero clues or puzzles about their whereabouts, it flatlines or peters out until their return because nobody can do anything and their characters don't know anything (often the creators too, it seems, because everyone is very averse to metagaming for good reasons). The casual side of gameplay means it becomes just people waiting for their friend to be available again.

On a funny note, you can get around some of this the Pac Mike way, by simply being kidnapped/vamoosed directly in front of your loved ones/friends. Instant Oh Shit reactions, the possibility for extending angst (q!Pac you sad angsty legend) the whole shebang - although you can still get the side effect of characters seeming to care less too fast, because it blurs with the players just comfortably waiting for their friend to come back from hiatus. In fact, it seems the best way to get a reaction from a Missing storyline is to vanish in front of someone, or leave breadcrumbs before or after the event. The Brazilians do that super well.

This meta bleed could also go the opposite way, which is why I'm so curious about q!Fit and q!Tubbo noticing q!Phil's disappearance. In that case it might mean they notice he's gone (in rp) unnaturally quickly, because they know his schedule of streaming and the fact that he's not going away in real life this week, and that he was most likely going to stream on monday, which could tip them off, but isn't necessarily an in character reason. There are other in rp explanations - he tells them whenever he's going away, they've antagonised the feds, he said he'd be around, etc - but I'm curious about the Meta, because realising today would be very fast. It's why I think it would be good if there were more breadcrumbs left so it isn't so affected by real life (because they could also lean the other way and ignore it too much because of metagaming). Hints or something of that ilk.

There's also the matter of scripting. Like I know Phil and Forever have been messaging about lore to ensure rp etiquette isn't broken and they get to do all the ideas they have planned. It does turn reacting into acting, but eh, I think a good balance of both is necessary, as much as we the audience love genuine shock and discovery. The creators absolutely plan things behind the scenes, and maybe Baghera didn't put so much weight on the rp reactions to her being gone? I don't know their minds, so I can't speculate. Doesn't change what I think about the Meta affecting it though.

I dunno. This is just one long ramble, because I was disappointed in the more lacking reactions to long absences, especially in the case of Baghera, and wanted to dissect one of the things I think is influencing it. I could just be chatting rubbish. It's not a blame game of 'oh they're doing this wrong' but genuinely something I find interesting. I love the server and the way we react to discoveries WITH the creators themselves, not just the characters, it's just an interesting thought. I just wish there had been more storyline connected to other ccs about Baghera being missing, because her lore is SO good. I wanted the Angst, goddamit.

#Anyways I don't know what I'm talking about #And I don't know what I'm doing #How the fuck do people talk online all the time #Just didn't see anyone mentioning this so I finally posted something #That could just mean nobody said it because it's bullshit please tell me if it's bullshit I don't know how to read the room #qsmp #qsmp baghera #qsmp philza #qsmp Jaiden #qsmp forever #qsmp etoiles #qsmp pac #qsmp mike #qsmp rp #Please keep in mind I'm coming from a chronically English monolingual pov

[whypolar]

Gundam Unicorn OVA 4: At the Bottom of the Gravity Well

I thought the last one was the prettiest, and they might have one-upped themselves again. The shot composition alone...!

...This is a really weird one to talk about. Probably my most opinionated post so far, and even longer than the last one. This monster is over 15k words, I'm so sorry.

The sixth Unicorn novel is an extremely frustrating experience for me. It's my least favourite of the books by a wide margin, and it comes at you very suddenly after the first five, which I think are generally interesting and a lot of fun.

OVA 4 covers the plot of the sixth novel. It removed everything I disliked about the book, and replaced it all with something much better.

...And then it found entirely new ways to annoy me, by removing or otherwise fucking around with several novel scenes that were already good. Yes, it's Riddhe again.

I'm genuinely kind of baffled.

Still, overall it was a far more enjoyable experience than its novel equivalent. I'm going to talk about novel stuff right away this time, because it's kind of unavoidable. The OVA is very different, right from the first scene.

(Previous posts: Day of the Unicorn, The Second Coming of Char, The Ghost of Laplace)

FYI: I'm saving detailed discussion of any particularly disturbing or otherwise sensitive novel-only content for the end, in the last two sections. There will be content warnings listed under the headings for those sections.

Major structural changes: Dakar and Torrington

This is a huge change, right out of the gate. The attack on Dakar is where the main conflict of the novel takes place, but here it's already ending in the very first scene! For a while I wondered if they were going to return and attack it again, but it quickly became clear that wasn't the case.

Syam and Gael make an appearance. They don't tell us anything new, I don't think-- and we've seen that colony drop flashback before too, haven't we? I could be wrong. Regardless, I think they're mostly just making sure the audience doesn't forget Syam and Gael exist while everything else is going on. Probably a good idea.

We know a lot more about Syam's deal right from the get-go in the books, because it's literally prologue. I feel like significantly less has been explained here about his history and the history of the Vist Foundation-- but it's admittedly hard for me to keep straight what we've been told in previous OVAs vs. any gaps I may be filling in with prior knowledge.

I do wonder how they're going to handle him going forward. Are they going to infodump a bunch of relevant history and character motivation further on? Are they just going to refuse to elaborate on certain things?

Because they've been skipping over smaller character details about Syam that we learn through Cardeas, Martha, and Gael, he seems to be presented as a lot more... straightforwardly benevolent, at least on the surface. Almost ethereal, even. I think novel Syam has more of an edge, even if he's supposedly feeling repentant now that he's a sad old man.

Oh, and Gael. Gael was shot by Alberto on the Argama during the Palau battle, in the fifth novel. Maybe something equivalent to that is coming in the next OVA, on the Ra Cailum instead? They could also just skip it, since he survives and appears after that anyway.

This Zee Zulu was not present for the novel scene I'm about to discuss, but consider this: I like aquatic mobile suits.

The novel opens like this, with the Shamblo destroying a submarine. The context is different than the anime equivalent, since Dakar hasn't happened yet and there are no other mobile suits present. Nobody in the Federation is aware the Shamblo even exists yet.

The submarine in the novel was searching for the Garancieres, since it was believed based on the trajectory that it would have landed in the ocean (as opposed to the desert, where it actually ended up). One of the sonar operators picks up some strange noise, but it doesn't fit the profile of what they're looking for, so his superior tells him to ignore it. This was a mistake. The Shamblo-- also searching for the Garancieres-- tears their hull apart, killing everyone on board.

Instead of Dakar, the main conflict in OVA 4 takes place in and around Torrington Base-- a location from the seventh novel. They've essentially moved Loni's arc forward, and combined it with another battle.

I originally assumed this might have been a censorship concern, but a whole bunch of civilian casualties still happen, so... seems more about wanting to get to Torrington faster. I was very surprised when they didn't censor the woman with the baby on the fire escape. I remember reading the novel equivalent and thinking "oh, they're cutting that for sure". Shows what I know.

The novel version of Torrington doesn't have any civilian infrastructure around to damage. It's an extremely remote and backwater location.

Even with the addition of a nearby city, putting the coordinates in Torrington is significantly less callous on Cardeas' part than having them in Dakar. Programming the La+ program so they have to activate the NT-D in the middle of the Federation capital is stupid as shit, assuming your goal isn't to kill a bunch of random noncombatants. Novel Banagher's explanation for why he might have done it is so generous that it just kinda makes me sad.

I'm sorry Banagher, I know you're still traumatized because he exploded, but your dad doesn't give a shit about other people. He prioritizes poetic imagery in his treasure hunt over the lives of human beings. He zapped your brain as a child to check whether you could pilot the robot good. He sucks, Banagher.

The Parliament building as a location does give a much more direct clue to the nature of the Box-- the Federation charter is on the ground floor, and we're told through character dialogue that it's a replica of the original that was destroyed at Laplace.

This montage of all the scattered Zeon forces on Earth mobilizing might be my favourite sequence in the film. This is another situation where I wish I could include images for all of it. Don't even get me started on the music in this part. God, it's so sick. Cool fucking robot. (Image of a child holding a rifle flying over my head)

Yonem Kirks was originally a character from novel 7. He had nothing to do with Loni, as she was already dead when he was introduced. He was actually the leader of the group of Zeon remnants who picked up the transmission requesting assistance for the attack on Torrington. He would have been in the place of that nameless beardy guy up there, whose face we never fully get to see. He is eventually killed by Marida in the Banshee.

OVA 4 recasts Kirks as a surrogate father figure for Loni. In the novel, Loni's father is still alive, and he's also one of the main reasons that book six is my least favourite. You'll see.

Loni takes over her father’s original role as a character, but with everything I hated about him stripped out. I think that rules. I initially thought they were going to put Kirks in his role, but what they went with was definitely more interesting.

I'll talk more about Loni at the end of this post, since she's the core of the whole arc. She's a substantially different character in each version. I will also explain exactly what her dad's deal is in the book, and why I do not like it.

Let me get this out of my system first.

The Character Assassination of Riddhe Marcenas

Imagine: an interesting character is rewritten so that everything you liked is either downplayed or removed, and then your least favourite aspect of their personality or story is inflated to become their most important character trait. This is what experiencing anime Riddhe is like for me.

I feel like I'm being pranked. Literally, the degree to which they are systematically removing all his most interesting and sympathetic qualities is starting to feel like a running gag. It's not just things being cut for time, either; they've changed dialogue and body language in ways that can only be deliberate. Someone clearly decided that changing Riddhe's personality was necessary, and I can't figure out why.

I got mad enough about this to make a diagram. I didn't even realize just how much I apparently liked this guy until they took him away.

Riddhe becoming increasingly closed off, obsessive, and myopic is a significant degeneration, and it happens over a fairly long stretch of plot. It's interesting because we're given time to get used to this guy as a positive force before watching him spiral, and he's clearly still trying to be good even as he self-destructs. That's how it feels for the characters, and that's ideally how it should feel for the audience.

If he's just kind of a self-absorbed dickhead from the start, what's the point? Where's the juice? Where's the drama? Why should we care, on an emotional level, whether or not it's still possible to pull him back from the cliff?

Look, I admit that I was less cartoonishly mad about this on the second watch. I can imagine a more charitable reading of this character than my bitter little hater response. I'm sure the anime version works fine for people who haven't read the novels, or who have but don't care about the original character, or at least don't find the new version as deeply unlikable as I do. But it makes me so crazy.

I'm going to go through his scenes, so you can see exactly what I mean.

Riddhe & Ronan

Riddhe's first scene in the OVA is his conversation with Ronan. This is a scene from the fifth novel-- if you read my post on OVA 3, you may remember my surprise that there was so little of Riddhe and Mineva doing stuff on Earth. Clearly, some of it was pushed foward to be in this one instead. Sure. Fine.

In the novel version of this scene, Riddhe is waiting alone in his father's office. Two other people come by to speak to him before Ronan arrives. I'm fine with these conversations getting cut for time, but I do think they're interesting, so I'm going to go over them.

First is the Butler, Doillon-- the novel's fan translation spells it Dwiyon. Doillon is described as a father figure to Riddhe, and clearly one he feels more positively about than Ronan. Doillon tells Riddhe that he missed him, and asks him not to leave again. He says that he's old and will likely die soon, and he's worried about the family-- Ronan is also getting older, and his health is declining (heart issues).

We also meet Riddhe's older sister, Cynthia, who either doesn't exist in the OVA or is off doing vivacious socialite things elsewhere. She also tries to convince Riddhe to come home. She asks him about Audrey, tells him she's cute, and insists they both come to a party she's hosting later.

There's some discussion of Riddhe's mother, both in narration and dialogue. We're reminded that she's ill (unspecified) and living in a nursing home. It's implied that she might have had some kind of nervous breakdown because of "the political world," but it's unclear whether that means she was a politician herself, or if it was more about her involvement with Ronan.

At this point Ronan comes in, and everyone else gets shooed out.

OVA Riddhe's demeanour around Ronan is... curious? Maybe nervous, and a little dismissive, but trying to act respectful. He's very goofy, rubbernecking and trying eavesdrop on Ronan's phone call. It would be cute, if he didn't piss me off so badly within the next five minutes. Ronan, meanwhile, feels very distant, keeping his back turned away for much of the scene.

The novel relationship is extremely tense and hostile, and a lot of that energy comes from Riddhe. He has to deliberately restrain himself from being aggressive and getting angry during this scene, because he's aware he needs his father's authority if he's going to keep Mineva safe.

Riddhe hates being in his family's house. He does not like his father, and is constantly on edge when he's around. In many scenes, he deliberately avoids even looking at him. When we're told that Riddhe "ran away", the connotations of that are very different from in the OVA, where it sounds like he just left on a fanciful whim.

So the familial relationship is different. Fine. I think it's less interesting, but I can live with it.

Here's where I start getting mad:

Ronan accusing Riddhe of being in love with Mineva and suggesting that this is the reason he brought her to Earth is an anime-only addition.

Obviously, a character in a story believing something doesn't make it an objective fact. The framing, however, implies that Ronan is correct: Riddhe has a dramatic startle reaction, they've failed to establish any other strong motivation, and immediately after this scene he goes and proposes to her.

The scene where Riddhe talks to Mineva is a combination of two different scenes from the novel-- first the hug on the balcony, and later the proposal. The original two scenes have completely different (and incompatible) tones, and they're separated by a good amount of time, as well. There's also another scene between them, with Riddhe riding his horse, so I'll talk a little about that too.

The way these scenes have been combined not only fully re-centres Riddhe's character around being in love with Mineva, but it also makes him way more invasive and pushy. I fucking hate this guy. He sucks! Where's my boy!!!!

The Balcony Scene

The balcony scene takes place during the dinner party held by Riddhe's sister and her husband, after Riddhe has had his conversation with Ronan. The guests are mostly wealthy older women, the wives of important men.

Mineva is cautious and a bit intimidated. She is introduced as Audrey Burne, and stated to be the daughter of one of Ronan's connections. Riddhe is obviously sulking, refusing to speak to the point where he won't even respond to direct questions and his sister has to carry the conversation for him.

The guests begin gossiping about the recent terrorist attack on Industrial 7. The way they discuss the deaths is not particularly respectful. They talk about Zeon and spacenoids in general almost as if they're inhuman aliens. Cynthia tries to steer the conversation elsewhere. Mineva is horribly uncomfortable.

Riddhe stands up and leaves the table without saying anything. Mineva isn't able to find a good opportunity to leave and go look for him until 10 minutes later. She eventually finds him on the balcony facing the courtyard.

“I’m sorry” the voice entered her ears, and she looked forward, staring right at Riddhe’s back as he still looked forward. She lowered her face and said, “There’s no need for you to apologize...” “I feel that this is reality too. If I continue to remain in Neo Zeon, I wouldn’t know all of these things.” This might be a good chance to learn. Mineva muttered in her depressed heart, but she could not find any words to overcome these words that were full of such prejudice. She thought that mutual understanding was just a dream, and she remained unable to breathe in this helplessness of hers. “That’s not it.” Riddhe said as his shoulders trembled, and he clenched his hands that were on the handrails tightly. “That’s not what I want to talk about…” ... [His shoulders trembled,] probably because he was crying. That was not an emotion that could be caused by a breakdown in talks between him and Ronan, and Mineva sensed that there was a greater despair and sense of loss here, “Riddhe…” she called him, and approached his trembling figure. Suddenly, that back profile left the handrails, and Riddhe turned to Mineva, his chest filling her sights. Mineva was hugged around the shoulders as she was pulled to him, and he embraced her in his clutches. “I’m sorry, I…I actually brought you to such a unthinkable place…!” ... “No matter what, I’ll protect you well no matter what, so please stay here, stay by me…don’t leave me alone…” Water droplets that had warmth dripped on her hair, wetting her forehead. Why is he crying? What’s causing him so much pain? At that moment, Mineva had no sense of uneasiness or disgust as she felt Riddhe’s trembling body with her own. She hesitated over whether she should put her arms around him, and she looked at the sky that was entering the night from past the shoulders wearing the military uniform.

It's just... a completely different scene, with a completely different context.

Look at the description of that hug! Is that the impression you got from the hug in the anime, that Mineva felt at ease? The only person whose feelings we can tell for certain in that scene is Riddhe, and Mineva seems uncomfortable and unhappy both before and after the conversation.

The scene ends here. We get a continuation much later, as the final scene of the novel.

Mineva is alone in her room, several hours after the conversation on the balcony. We're told that Riddhe ran away from the house immediately afterward, without looking at her or explaining what had him so upset. She wonders what he's doing now, then wonders what she's doing. She feels helpless and lost, and rather unlike herself. In the past, she has always been very decisive. These confused, conflicted feelings are strange and unfamiliar to her.

When she looks up at the sky and asks Banagher what she should do, one of the stars is implied to be the Unicorn falling through the atmosphere. I think that imagery is really lovely.

Riddhe Horsegirl Moments

A couple days later, Mineva watches from a distance as Riddhe rides his horse. She is impressed by how in sync they are and how much trust there must be between them, but she also thinks that the horse is clearly picking up on Riddhe's anger and seems anxious.

(Right before this scene, when Ronan is watching Riddhe out the window, we're told that Riddhe deliberately learned a second, different riding style than the one popular with upper-class people that he was originally taught, because he thought it was boring. lol)

Cynthia comes out onto the terrace to talk to Mineva. They talk about Riddhe, and Cynthia describes her perception of his personality. The fan translation is kind of garbled here, but I'll include the passage anyway:

Cynthia looked down at Riddhe that was riding on the horse, “He’s really a useless child.” She sighed as she mused, and Mineva did not feel comfortable hearing this. “He’s always been like this in the past, always unable to hide what he was thinking, and never cared about the people around him when he put his mind to him. He’s already everywhere at once, but he’s attracted to small details for some reason, so he’ll always bear everything by himself alone.” This is really a rather accurate correct analysis. Mineva felt impressed that Riddhe’s relative was able to see through him so thoroughly, but felt a little depressed as she thought about how she had not been talking to Riddhe during this while...

Jp text for the list of traits:

「昔からそう。一途で、隠し事ができなくて、思い込んだら脇目も振らずに突っ走っちゃう。そのくせ、変に気が回るもんだから、ひとりでいろいろ抱え込んじゃうのよね」

Possible alt translation (I have no expertise, take with salt just as you would the other):

"It's always been that way. He's single-minded, can't hide anything, and when he makes up his mind, he rushes forward without looking the other way. Despite that, he's strangely anxious, so he takes on a lot of things by himself."

We're then told exactly how long Mineva has been staying at the Marcenas residence (3 days), and what the atmosphere has been like in the house. Riddhe is barely around, apparently busy repairing the Delta Plus. Ronan and Cynthia's husband Patrick avoid Mineva entirely. Cynthia and Doillon are the only people she has to spend time with, and neither of them is aware of her true identity.

Cynthia assures Mineva that Riddhe will probably get over whatever is bothering him soon enough and be back to his old self, but Mineva feels an ominous certainty that she's wrong.

My impression of novel Mineva is that she generally likes Riddhe and enjoys his company. She worries about him, and feels lonely when he starts becoming increasingly distant and angry. She doesn't like that she can see him changing, and she can tell that he's hurting. It's upsetting to her! She had just gotten to know this guy, and suddenly he's acting like a stranger again.

I have a hard time believing that OVA Mineva has enjoyed being in the same room with Riddhe at any point. She seems pragmatic and politely disinterested at best. Her body language with people she clearly likes-- Banagher, or hell, even the guy in the diner-- is very different.

The Most Depressing Proposal in the World

The dialogue of the proposal itself and Mineva's rejection is basically the same. Everything else about Riddhe's behaviour and body language is completely different.

They even completely inverted the exchange when he opens the door! In the novel, Riddhe asks if he can come in, and Mineva replies "this is your house, isn't it," but in the anime, he opens the door without asking and she's upset about the presumption.

It's such a small thing, but it's a clear signal to me that these changes are purposeful. They had zero reason to do that, unless they want to change the audience's perception of Riddhe and his relationship to Mineva. This suggests to me that they're not failing to adapt the novel character, but intentionally replacing him with something different. But... why? To what end?

This scene happens right after we learn that Riddhe is being sent to serve under Bright on the Ra Cailum. The context of the proposal is him telling her he's leaving.

Mineva has been in the house for at least ten days at this point. She has been feeling increasingly anxious and constrained, and by now she feels a strong desire to leave.

Riddhe is very distant and stiff. He tells her he's leaving, and apologizes. This is when he finally tells her about his conversation with Ronan, how the Marcenas family and the Vist Foundation "are like two mirrors facing each other," and that his family likely intends to use her as a hostage.

Then we get the proposal. It's so vaguely delivered that Mineva literally does not understand what he's asking at first. Not only does he not hug her, he's not even looking at her. He has a weird little twitch when bringing up his dad. The whole thing is miserable and kind of pathetic.

“So... can you become a member of our family?” In contrast, Riddhe said this without turning around to look. Mineva did not understand what he was saying to her as she frowned. “How about you abandon Zeon and the Zabi family, and become a member of the Marcenas family? In that case, my dad will—” To Riddhe, the last words were probably something he did not expect. His eyelids twitched, and he seemed to recover as he went quiet and lowered his eyes that were once facing Mineva. “…Even if it’s just a formality, this meaningless war will end like that, and you’ll be free.” “Do you feel…that can be considered freedom?” Mineva too lowered her sights, her heart feeling the sand-like bitterness. These words sounded too tragic to both the speaker and the listener, and even though they were just a few connected words, she could understand that her body and mind were gradually being contaminated. Something very important was starting to fall off, unable to be retrieved again—this kind of disappointment spread in her heart.

I'm sure Riddhe does think a marriage would reduce the danger she's in, but this is still a selfish question. He probably even knows it. It's just not the same kind of selfish as if he had barged into her room uninvited and proposed immediately during a fit of emotion because he's apparently madly in love with her, good grief.

Not even Riddhe wants to be "a member of his family." He had refused to speak to them for three years, well before he had the family secret dropped on him. But we're supposed to believe he thinks pulling Mineva into that is a good idea? Please. He is horrified by the idea of being alone with them.

He wants Mineva to stay because she's the only outside person he has left to hold onto, because he cut off all his other established positive relationships when he helped her escape.

Personally, I think that kind of total alienation is a lot more psychologically interesting than just being freshly upset and smitten with her!

Even though he knew how many risks he was taking, I think Riddhe was still telling himself he'd be able to wriggle out of it eventually. He'd use his dad's authority to secure Mineva's safety, and then he'd wait for another chance to run away and be a pilot again later.

Being told about the Box was the nail in the coffin for that, because it gave him a new, permanent sense of obligation to re-affiliate with his family, to "take responsibility for their sins." Perceived moral obligation is Riddhe's kryptonite.

The anime cut the conversation here, right after the rejection. Do you want to know what Riddhe's next line of dialogue is?

“Sorry, forget what I just said.”

lol. lmao even.

Like the anime, this conversation is the catalyst for Mineva running away. The scene in the diner is from Novel 7, as is Martha demanding Ronan give her Mineva. It all happens after Riddhe leaves.

The Ra Cailum

The Tri-Stars are not happy to have Riddhe on their ship.

When Riddhe first approaches the Ra Cailum in the Delta Plus and attempts to board, they actively antagonize him in their own mobile suits: they physically get in his way, don't respond to his hails, and one of them even fires on him.

Riddhe pulls off a dramatic maneuver to get past them, and this impresses them enough for the squad leader to say "alright, you've convinced me that you're more than just a useless nepotism hire."

They did not have authorization to do this. All four of them get dragged into Bright's office immediately after getting out of their suits. The Tri-Stars lie about what happened to avoid further trouble, and Riddhe goes along with the cover story. Bright orders the Tri-Stars to go clean the deck, and they leave.

The incident confirmed in Riddhe's mind that he's being given special treatment, so he brings it up to Bright:

The reason why the Tri-Stars would pull such petty tricks on him was because news of him being given special treatment was spread through the ship. He was already mentally prepared about being viewed as an irritant, but he could not stand being treated as a troublesome VIP and being unable to do anything. He stared at the back that had no intent of looking back at him and continued to emphasize with a restrained tone. “I’ve been through battle before. Please don’t remove me from dangerous missions just because I have to keep watch—” “DON’T BE NAÏVE!” Bright turned around to let out a roar that pierced through the pilot suit, causing goosebumps on Riddhe’s skin.

This conversation hits different when the "dangerous" situations Riddhe keeps putting himself in are on the extreme end even for a military pilot.

Novel Riddhe's disregard for his own safety is remarkable. I talked about it some in the last post, but after the conversation with his dad it takes on a more desperate tone. There is something very clearly wrong with this guy, and every time other people die around him it gets a little worse.

When I call Riddhe "borderline suicidal," I'm not saying he's consciously trying to kill himself, to be clear. He's not trying to get shot down on purpose-- quite the opposite.

I have no intention of dying. Right now, I don’t have a reason for that, before I can redeem the crimes of this cursed bloodline of mine— he muttered in his frozen heart, “Yes”, answered, and saluted.

The reckless death drive and the belief he has an obligation to stay alive can coexist without coming into conflict because they're ultimately coming from the same place and serving the same goal. He needs to keep existing in order to protect other people, and he needs to protect other people in order to justify having ever existed in the first place.

Or, basically: if you die, you only get to sacrifice yourself once, but so long as you survive you can keep doing it forever.

(And of course, what he thinks in the abstract while safely tucked away in an office is also different from how he behaves in actual combat, when people around him are dying.)

You'll get new examples when I get to what Riddhe does during the battle of Dakar. For now, we'll finish up the conversation with Bright.

Bright tells Riddhe to come back alive in both versions, but in the novel he also tells him to go clean the deck with the Tri-Stars if he wants to be treated like a normal pilot.

Nigel, the leader of the Tri-Stars, is waiting outside the door when Riddhe leaves Bright's office. Riddhe sighs and tells him he's going to help clean the deck. Nigel tells him he's too rigid, and he's going to end up wasting his talent. He doesn't let up even when Riddhe tries to be deferential:

... Riddhe instinctively looked away and said, “I won’t cause trouble for you.” ... but Nigel moved away from the wall and spoke, “You’re a rookie who doesn’t even know the meaning of the word team? Well, us Tri-Stars do whatever we want, and there’s no need for us to give you suggestions, but I’ll shoot you down from behind if you dare to pull the Ra Cailum fleet down. You better remember that.”

The equivalent to this line in the OVA seems a lot friendlier and more like banter. I think he's being truthful here, or at the very least genuinely trying to intimidate Riddhe.

Riddhe realizes Nigel still doesn't trust him and is continuing to treat him like an outsider. He thinks that maybe it's for the best, and responds with sarcastic praise.

Then we get this truly astounding line which I'm almost certain is a translation error, but I need you to see it anyway:

“Your sarcasm ain’t half bad there. Are you saying that us idiots who only know how to train are having a group orgy or something?”

Well I wasn't thinking it before but I'm certainly thinking it now. Why are you being so unwelcoming and excluding Riddhe from the group orgy, Nigel?

(The Japanese is "おれたちは訓練バカの仲良しグループってわけか？", if you want to check it yourself. Unless I'm missing some contextual innuendo, I'm pretty sure there is no reference to an orgy here. The phrase that got turned into that means "a group of close friends." He's basically saying "You think we aren't real soldiers and this is just a social club?"

I'm so disappointed. I wish this one was real. I was hoping to at least find a common crude idiom, like how people use "circlejerk" in English.)

Ahem.

Riddhe's attempt to be aloof fails; he immediately admits he's feeling envious and wants to feel included in the group. Nigel is clearly surprised by this, and seeds are planted for the Tri-Stars to come around.

This is important because when the attack on Dakar begins, Riddhe is initially told he isn't allowed to launch because he doesn't belong to any existing squadron. He's eventually given permission to launch with the Tri-Stars, after Nigel vouches for him.

Riddhe and Banagher vs. The Shamblo

The OVA actually reverses Riddhe and Banagher's respective roles here. Novel Riddhe engages the Shamblo well before Banagher is even on the field.

As the Ra Cailum approaches Dakar, they get a clearer picture of the situation. Bright realizes things are worse than they thought, and they need to rethink their approach.

Riddhe requests to be sent ahead on his own, to distract the enemy while the main forces land. He manages to make a convincing argument as to how he can do this without being shot down, and Nigel vouches for him again, so Bright agrees to let him scout ahead.

Riddhe launches on his own, without the Tri-Stars. He thinks about Mihiro and the Argama crew briefly while talking to the communications operator, which is sweet.

As Riddhe approaches the Shamblo, he realizes there are still civilians nearby who haven't finished evacuating. He also spots a GM III, part of Dakar's security forces, and watches it fire missiles even though the pilot should have been able to see the people on the street. Riddhe is furious.

The “GM III” continued to fire its beam rifle wildly at the road covered with dust and smoke. Riddhe grabbed the arm of the [mobile suit] and pulled it to the blind spot of the collapsed department store. (Khairul was killed…!) as the pilot continued to ramble on, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” Riddhe used the communication channel to yell out at him, “Why are you using missiles at such a place!? There’re still people in the city!) (But we can’t let that guy approach the parliament hall…) “For the sake of your pride, you…!”

But then the Shamblo does its laser bits thing, so the GM ends up exploding. A lot of mobile suits nearby explode, in fact (RIP Guntank squad), and fleeing civilians get crushed quite gruesomely.

This is the point where Riddhe's death wish instinct activates, and "scouting" turns into "I need to engage the enemy and tank aggro right now."

“There’s no reason for them to die because of such a thing…!” If this is a tragedy caused by the “Box”. Riddhe let the machine transform, duck low, charge forward and squeezed the trigger of the beam rifle to its maximum. The beams that were deflected by the bits ripped apart the dust, grazing past the head of the “Delta Plus”. The machine then stood on the road in front of several blocks and started firing again. “Get over here!!!” he did not care that the reflected beams grazed past his shields as he let the “Delta Plus” leap up again. “I won’t let you kill anyone else. Just make me the only victim of the “Box”…!” The beam rifle continued to let out shots, and the beams that were reflected back in less than a second shook the machine. Riddhe continued to launch his attacks fervently as he forced the machine to retreat back to the coast. Anyway, I have to let the mobile armor retreat [from] the city and buy time for the civilians to evacuate. How long can I last? His mind that was thinking about this could not work at all, and the “Delta Plus” continued to shoot in a suicidal manner as it danced around the skies above Dakar.

Banagher sees and recognizes the Delta Plus on the monitor just before his fight with Zinnerman. His scenes are intercut with Riddhe and Loni's perspective on the battlefield.

Loni-- a very different character from her OVA counterpart-- keeps picking up on Riddhe's thoughts during combat. She attempts to convince her father that they should change course to avoid the civilians, but he refuses.

Riddhe helps a GM pilot in a damaged suit and tries to convince them to retreat, but they aren't having it. They tell him they're going to get under the Shamblo's feet, and they want him to shoot their suit so it will explode.

Obviously it's normal to feel fucked up about that kind of request, but it's still darkly funny to me how freaked out Riddhe gets, given his behaviour during this entire battle. Self sacrifice... not Riddhe? Death of friendly pilot not Riddhe??? No! No!!! Unacceptable!!!!

It's not Riddhe's choice to make, though. The GM rushes the Shamblo, where it is promptly torn apart and trampled. Riddhe manages to break through his hesitation and fires, but the Shamblo blocks the beam.

Then it fucking gets him. If you remember what I said about the OVA reversing the roles, the bit where the Unicorn gets grabbed by the claws happens to the Delta Plus instead.

The back of the “Delta Plus” was slammed hard onto the road, and the machine was half buried in the cracked asphalt. The large claws grabbed the lower half of the machine to restrain it, while the other claw rose slowly over the head of the “Delta Plus”, showing its malice that it was trying to dice it up as it opened its sharp blades. Riddhe sensed that his body was going to be crushed by this impact and scattered apart as he gritted his bloodied teeth. Is this the end? I can’t do anything, I’ll die here without being able to save anyone. As Riddhe’s concussed mind eked out these thoughts, How annoying, he muttered in his heart...

So then instead of Riddhe breaking off from the Tri-Stars to help Banagher, we get Banagher finally arriving on the scene and swooping in to save Riddhe from getting pureed.

They team up. The Unicorn isn't as manoeuvrable under Earth's gravity and atmospheric conditions as it is in space, so the Delta Plus basically becomes its flight unit.

Banagher is the one who fires the shot and destroys the Shamblo. He's very upset about Loni's death, but there's no moral dilemma or conflict between him and Riddhe.

Loni's situation is very different. She was probably already going to die whether they destroyed the Shamblo or not, and since it had multiple pilots, her death alone would not have stopped its rampage. I'll go over this again in more detail during her section. For now, the point I'm trying to make is that the novel version of this scene emphasizes that Riddhe and Banagher have a positive relationship.

I really get along with this guy instinctively. Riddhe hid this bittersweet reality inside his heart as he went full throttle and let the machine remain as low as possible.

[...]

The thrill when they were accelerating for each other as they raced caused all his senses to sharpen. If only I can remain at that moment of ecstasy.

The OVA scene is about... the opposite of that.

I still can't believe OVA Riddhe looks angry when Banagher's plan works and the Shamblo stops attacking the first time. He fucking scowls? Are you mad you're being proven wrong? That's more important to you in this situation than preventing more deaths? Distinctly un-Riddhelike priorities!

With the Shamblo gone, Riddhe is ordered to capture the Gundam.

The conversation they have about this is significantly longer. There's a lot of Riddhe failing to talk himself into killing Banagher after he refuses to surrender.

He's extremely torn up about it. Because Riddhe likes Banagher.

The metals bellowed as they touched each other, and the voice of the pilot rang within the interaction window. The “Unicorn Gundam” was touching the “Delta Plus” on the shoulder as it opened the communication circuit. ... (I never thought that I would meet you here in such a way…is Audrey alright? Did you make contact with the “Nahel Argama”—) Banagher intended to lean the body forward as he talked. However, Riddhe did not look at the other party’s face. He held his breath and fulfilled what he had to do at this point. The “Delta Plus” shook aside the hand resting on its shoulder ... The “Gundam” tripped, and by the time it managed to steady itself with the AMBAC, the “Delta Plus” was aiming its beam rifle at the abdomen. (Mr Riddhe…!?) “I’ve received an order to capture that “Gundam”. Get off that cockpit, Banagher.” Luckily, the visuals on the communication window were cut off the moment the interaction channel was removed. (Mr Riddhe, why…!) Riddhe merely let Banaher’s outcry chide his ears as his hand holding onto the control stick was trembling. “Don’t call me as if we’re close with each other. Without you, things wouldn’t end up like that…!” (Why’s that so? Mr Riddhe, Audrey—) “You and the “Gundam” are obstacles preventing this Audrey you speak of—Mineva from living peacefully. Get off!” My chest is going to break open. At this rate, I’ll go crazy too—just like this mobile armor that lies dead in front of me. Riddhe lowered his eyes and waited for Banagher to answer in a prayer. I feel you’re a man of your word. I’ll leave Audrey to you. The boy with such strong-willed eyes actually used those words to lay a curse on him and bind him, and though he hoped that the other party would step aside after realizing what was going on—

The things he says about Mineva here are interesting. I think it's very representative of the kind of weird rigid thinking Riddhe has, that even as he tries to talk himself into literally killing Banagher, he still considers the promise to take care of Audrey binding and unassailable.

It's also kind of fascinating that he considers protecting her to be something that he owes to Banagher specifically at all, enough to apparently consider it a burden, given that he had already taken action to do it himself before they ever had that conversation.

Even though he's stubborn and historically disobedient to authority figures like his father, Riddhe is still very... rules-brained, I guess, in his own way. He gets "stuck" on specific things people say to him like this a lot, particularly in the context of morality or a sense of duty.

Banagher won't get out of the Gundam, even at gunpoint. He doesn't understand why Riddhe is acting the way he is, and he wants an explanation.

And here's the important part:

When Banagher calls Riddhe's bluff and Riddhe cannot bring himself to shoot him, Riddhe tells Banangher to flee before anyone else can arrive to capture him.

Yes! He actively decides to disobey orders and let Banagher escape! That's the moment that the 'Black Unicorn' drops in on them! It has to show up for the plot to work, because Riddhe has already backed down as a threat!!!

And Riddhe's still focused on Banagher, even after the Banshee drops a bunch of rubble on his mobile suit. He's stuck there in his unresponsive machine, yelling at Banagher to run away.

There is hostility between Banagher and Riddhe during the Torrington fight in book 7, but the equivalent of that confrontation is presumably something for next time... there are still like, three more emotional bombshells that need to be dropped on Riddhe before he stops instinctively treating Banagher like an ally.

Do you see how, cumulatively, this might as well be a completely different guy?

I've been trying to avoid spoiling anything that happens later in the novels as much as possible, even though I assume most people reading these posts have either already seen the full anime or don't care about spoilers at all. But I simply must say. Holy shit. You're going to have this guy kill a fan favourite character? This guy? Worse Riddhe? I'm wincing just thinking about how apocalyptically fucking mad people must have been. I am imagining the forum posts in my mind's eye, and they're bad.

As much as I love complaining, I do think changes made in any adaptation deserve to be considered in their own right. Even if I don't like them. I've been thinking a lot about what these changes might mean, and what purpose they might serve.

Some possible narrative reasons for Worse Riddhe I came up with:

They needed him to kill this version of Loni in place of Banahger -- I think regular Riddhe would also be willing to kill Loni, once it became obvious that Banagher's plan had failed the first time. She's an enemy combatant who is deliberately killing civilians, and she's either unwilling or unable to stop.

To justify Mineva running away sooner -- as in, they thought if he was too likeable, the audience wouldn't understand why she wanted to leave. This wouldn't be a problem in the first place if they hadn't pushed his scenes forward so they had to happen all at once. Either way, Mineva would have many good reasons to want to leave without Worse Riddhe. Riddhe is only person she really has in her corner-- and then he tells her she's in an unsafe place, and then he leaves.

They were worried he might overshadow Banagher…? I don't think reducing Riddhe's role in on-screen combat would necessitate changing his personality. Also, this is just not something I personally give a shit about. Multiple important characters is not a problem. Banagher would absolutely still get to be cool and heroic. C'mon.

They think the new characterization is likeable / endearing, and the audience is supposed to find the increased focus on unrequited romantic interest in Mineva sympathetic-- [perplexed vocalization]

They think if Riddhe is more naive and jealous from the beginning, bringing him around will be more meaningful, from the angle of "Look, even this guy can be reached through the power of communication and not giving up on a possibility" -- Oo-hoo-oooh, I don't like how plausible this one feels. I can see the exact reasoning that might lead to it. I don't like it.

They're going to do something totally new with him later that never would have occurred to me -- I guess that could save it for me as an artistic decision, if it's interesting enough. Bit of a scary thought, though. What's up your sleeve?

If anyone else has theories or opinions about the rationale here, I'm all ears. I'd love to come up with something good enough to feel even 25% less annoyed about it.

Anyway, we've covered all my Riddhe grievances. Let's move on.

Frontal and Angelo are barely in this one, which is novel accurate.

They get their own section anyway, because they're always important to ME!!!

I get so excited every time Frontal shows up, regardless of context. The Sinanju theme starts playing and I'm already having the time of my life. He's literally just standing there and giving exposition. Embarrassing.

I love how visibly mad Angelo gets every time Zinnerman talks back to Frontal. He's hysterical.

Here's novel Loni experiencing Frontal's uncanny deepfake vibes:

The masked face spoke on the monitor, and Loni did not feel that it was the face of a human. The nose bridge and the lips under the mask were too refined, and the thick blond hair reminded her of a puppet. Am I seeing a complete artificial image here? she felt some goosebumps as she stared at Full Frontal, who was calmly smiling.

Banagher and Zinnerman

Banagher and Zinnerman's relationship is probably the one major story element that changed the least from the page to screen. I'm really glad that's the case. Their scenes together were some of the most enjoyable parts of the book.

There are still slight differences, as is inevitable.

Zinnerman is softer on Banagher in the anime. I think they probably did this just to make it even more shocking when he starts slamming him around and pointing a gun at him later. Novel Zinnerman is a bit more roundabout with how he expresses affection, and also more aggressive.

Zinnerman doesn't hit Banagher in the anime at all until their big fight, but in the novels he does it a number of times. He hits him twice when he's sitting around catatonic at the crash site, and that wasn't even the first time in the series (the first was all the way back on Palau, because Banagher was mouthing off when they drop him off to stay with Gilboa).

They have a confrontation before they head out into the desert, and it's a precursor to the conversation they have while traveling. The two conversations are about the exact same subjects, with the second mostly being a gentler reiteration, so I can see why they'd only keep one. The anime also shifts some of the aggressive energy from Zinnerman to Flaste, instead, by having him yell at Banagher and throw him around.

The scene that's only in the novel, is... scarier, for lack of a better word? Banagher starts out even more dramatically unresponsive and defeated, he ends up getting angrier, and Zinnerman is a lot more threatening.

On Banagher's condition at the crash site:

... he had no sense of will to live on by himself, and he would not ingest food if it was not prepared. If he was left alone, he would just sit around blankly for the entire day. ... There were no effects no matter what they did, whether they tried to threaten him or please him; he would not resist, but he would not show any form of will on his own. ...

On Banagher's internal mental state:

You killed him. You killed Gilboa, Tikva’s father. He had no intention of attacking, and you simply shot him. Tikva’s pitiful for not having a father now. You and him have no fathers. You killed him, and you killed a lot a people—

[...]

We can just run through this desert, Banagher thought. The sunlight can burn the skin, blood my head, dry up all the fluids in my body, and I’ll just become dust. Even the lead in my stomach and this cursed family blood of mine will be burnt to nothing. If I can do that, the “Unicorn” will never move again, the “Gundam” won’t awaken again; I won’t have to kill others, I won’t be killed, and the “Laplace Box” will be sealed forever— And then what? The abnormally cold voice interrupted to end the delusions. The impulse that rose in Banagher’s body quickly wilted as fatigue struck his mind. He found it difficult to think, curled back his body without doing anything and became a stone block like before.

Banagher's despair is also where the title of both the novel and the OVA comes from.

This place is really the bottom of a gravity well, Banagher admitted. His body and mind were tied to the bottom, so heavy that they were unable to move at all. Space felt so distant, and his soul was the only thing melting from his crouched body that was like dust. This is a one and only cog that can make decisions on its own. Don’t lose it—Mr Daguza did say it. I don’t want to lose it, I lost it unwillingly, but I really can’t hang on now. If I try to put it on, my body will break apart. I just want to sit here without thinking and without asking for anything. I’ll keep sitting until my heart melts completely…

And then Zinnerman comes in, and tells him him they're going on a trip. Sorry, you're getting a big chunk of excerpts here, because I really like this entire conversation.

Zinnerman was standing there. His hulking figure was standing there angrily “Stand up.” as he growled with a deep voice. Banagher immediately lost interest in the person who arrived, and immediately lowered his sight. “There’s a town 60km away. I’m going to walk there and get help, and you’re coming with me.” Are you kidding me? a slight electrical flow passed through Banagher’s mind as he lifted his eyes again. He saw the bearded face that was not smiling, and lazily looked down again. At this moment, Zinnerman’s hand grabbed him by the torso, and the body, which had its center of gravity at the back, was immediately dragged off the floor. “How long are you going to mope around here!?” The angry words roared into Banagher’s ears as the sand fell from his limp swaying body. His feet would not listen as his body was supported by hand grabbing him by the chest. However, Zinnerman’s hand that was holding this weight showed no signs of shaking at all. “We’ll leave after sunset. Get into the ship immediately. We need to prepare a lot of things if we want to pass through the desert.”

[...]

“Duty? I did my duty. I rode on the mobile suit and sank a Neo Zeon terrorist. Is that not enough? How many more must I kill?” Only this time did Banagher look right at Zinnerman in the eyes and spoke directly to him. What duty and responsibility? It ended up like this after I listened to those words. As he thought about how he would not be fooled again and intended to stand on his feet, a blunt sound rang in his mind as his world exploded. The body that was punched aside landed hard onto the floor, and the burning hot taste of sand spread in his mouth. The face that was buried in the sand started to ache, and Banagher’s body was trembling as he heard Zinnerman say, “You can deny us all you want.” “But don’t you dare think of yourself as a victim and throw a tantrum at me. I can still recognize it if the one that shot down Gilboa is a pilot, but not a brat who doesn’t have any resolve.”

[...]

The lead in Banagher’s stomach was burning, and he forcefully spat the sand that became dirt in his [mouth.] “I didn’t do this on my own will…” he muttered as he wiped away the blood on the corner of his mouth. “Someone else forced me to ride on a mobile suit, and things ended up like this before I even knew what happened. If you’re not going to forgive me, just kill me. Don’t beat around the bush and talk about something like duty; can’t you just harden your heart and kill me…!?” Zinnerman’s hard fist was still clenched as he answered with his trembling eyelids. See, this man talks big, but he’s no different from those guys who want the “Box”. Banagher said, “You don’t dare to do so anyway.” Banagher said with his busted lips that were curled up. “If I die, the “Unicorn” won’t move. If you can’t extract the data of the “Box”, you’ll just let this treasure rot. No matter how you hate me, it’s impossible for you to kill—” The second impact struck his face, ... “[Those] big shots may think that way, but we’re different”, Zinnerman growled, ... “It doesn’t matter what happens to the “Box”. My ship doesn’t have the room to feed someone like you who has no will to live.” The burly figure became a shadow as it moved towards Banagher, blocking his sights. The eyes of a killer were glittering somehow deep within, just like the first time, and Banagher clenched his hands together with the sand. Banagher stared at the two black eyeballs that were not showing any light, and exerted strength to stiffen his trembling knees. He tried his best to let his trembling body stand up, and glared at Zinnerman with all his strength. Do it if you can. I’ll spit my blood on you once I’m beaten down. As he was driven by this unknown temper, his swaying body was about to straighten, and Zinnerman showed some teeth on his ominous looking face. Before he could understand that it was a smile, he was gently nudged back and landed on his backside. “What kind of expression is that?” Zinnerman gave a wry look, and this was an unexpected response to Banagher as he looked back. “Someone who can give that kind of expression will not collapse that easily. Hurry up and get ready. The desert won’t listen to any excuses humans make.” Zinnerman finished and walked away. Are you serious? Banagher wanted to open his mouth and ask, but was unable to let out a sound as his wildly pounding heart spread the feeling of this fear that came a moment later. His body that was unneeded by anyone and self-neglected continued to give the sound of life stubbornly— “Damn it!” Banagher groaned as he kicked the sand at his feet. The blood that rushed up his body caused him to recall the heat, and the large amount of sweat that suddenly started to flow out evaporated before they dripped.

I really love this scene, and I miss furious blood-spitting Banagher, but I also liked the little sand-throwing tantrum they added to the conversation in the anime, so I can't complain too much. Other than that, the argument in the desert is basically the same.

Then we get the story about Globe. This is another scene where the music really stood out to me -- the track is called "Desert," and I think it's beautiful.

I like how they take advantage of the desert setting to show it to you visually in the form of Banagher seeing mirages, as well the hot wind in the desert evoking the heat from the burning town. It's a clever sequence.

I'll be coming back to Globe in a later section. The story and its telling has been altered in significant ways, although it serves the exact same purpose in the narrative for Zinnerman's motivation. Put a pin in it.

The conversation at the campsite is pretty much exactly the same in both versions, except the novel also describes ancient cave paintings on the stone walls they're using for shelter.

The novel has one more travel scene after this, where they get caught in a simoom and have a harrowing near-death experience. This is where Banagher really thinks through his feelings and resolves that he needs to live. As soon as the storm passes, they realize they're right outside their destination and start laughing hysterically from relief.

The novel also has several scenes where the two of them spend time with Loni in the city, scouting Dakar on foot before the operation. These are mostly about establishing setting, progressing the plot, and strengthening Banagher's connection to Loni, though there are some small Zinnerman moments I thought were charming.

Here's Zinnerman buying Banagher a beer:

Zinnerman suddenly raised his hand and called the waitress beside him. “Another beer please. For him.” He said with a nonchalant look on his face as he pointed at Banagher, wanting him to continue talking. “I’m still underaged, you know!?” Banagher then gave a shocked expression right back as his momentum was worn out. “Just drink. Today’s a special day.” “What’s special…” “You’ve become an adult. There’s no punishment for celebrating a little anyway.” A warm smile Banagher had never seen before caused him to feel some warmth in his stomach. He felt embarrassed, and thought that he could not look back anymore as he turned his stare to the sea surface that was dyed sunset.

The fight they have during the operation plays out pretty much the same, in both action and dialogue. Zinnerman does cause less lasting visible damage to Banagher in the OVA, though-- he's described as having his face noticeably bruised and banged up in the novel.

I do think novel Banagher knew civilian casualties were a possibility going in (in a way that OVA Banagher possibly did not consider at all, since the target is explicitly military). What horrified him was the deliberate act of murdering innocent people-- similar to novel Loni's feelings, in fact.

Even if he's rationalizing, Zinnerman's response of "you should have expected this" is still much truer about Dakar than Torrington. Come on, Banagher, you didn't consider there might be serious collateral damage if we walk the giant metal laser monster into a major metropolitan area? You saw what happened to Industrial 7. They could have just as easily destroyed that hotel by accident.

Such a good scene, though. Both versions. Get his ass.

Marida, Martha, and Alberto

There's a lot going on here. I'll start with the easy stuff.

Since Gael was on the Argama at the end of Novel 5, he goes to the bridge and tells them not to let Martha's ship capture the Unicorn. His mission had failed, and Alberto was successfully transferred to Martha's ship with Marida.

Gael warns Banagher through transmission not to trust Alberto and not to follow his instructions. He also tells him explicitly that Alberto killed Cardeas.

Alberto then cuts off Gael's transmission and admits to doing so. He explains his reasons, and then says some fairly cruel things to Banagher. It's clear that this conversation contributed to Banagher's intense despair in the desert; he even quotes Alberto directly at one point.

(The Foundation can’t live on without the Box. But that man intended to bring the “Box” outside.) ... (The Foundation has the “Box”. As long as this fact doesn’t change, it doesn’t matter even if the “Box” doesn’t exist. The key to opening the “Box” has no reason to exist. As long as we can destroy the “Unicorn”, everything will be back to normal. Don’t you understand? To a lot of people, you’re the seed of disaster.) ... (If you want to hate, hate father. Hate our father.) The voice pierced through Banagher’s chest, and then, there was a physical impact that rocked the cockpit. The connected ignition bolt was activated, and the traction wire was severed from the shuttle right from the end.

[...]

Banagher’s vision started to spin in a confusing manner, and the plasma air flow continued to blow by the cockpit. The temperature in the machine gradually rose, and the warning alarms continued to sway amidst the burning hot air. Nobody will save me. There’s no worth in saving me. Everything I know about is wrong. Banagher yelled with a voice that did not make a sound. I shouldn’t be here, I shouldn’t be sitting in this, even my birth onto this Earth is wrong— Banagher’ yell was vaporized by the additional heat, and the color of flames gradually covered everything.

With the line cut, the Garancieres moves in to grab the Unicorn instead. Banagher has passed out, but the Unicorn begins moving entirely on its own. Again it's described as looking like a devil, which is particularly fitting when it's basically fucking on fire. Zinnerman looks at its face and thinks it looks like it's smiling. I love that.

The head of the “Unicorn Gundam” that resembled a human face peeked through the bridge window, and the camera outside the ship was capturing a visual of its glowing eyes. It was an icy cold stare, and those eyes were staring at Zinnerman and company coldly as if it was grading the people inside the ship— “Is that thing…moving by itself?”

[...]

Zinnerman did not have time to shout out as his back hit the ceiling, and he tumbled onto the floor. From the corner of his eyes, he saw that the “Gundam” above him was narrowing its eyes in a smile with its back against the plasma glow. The machine with the appearance of a white devil was definitely smiling, and its body was swaying amidst the vortex that swelled like a mirage.

In book five, it's easy to read the passage with Alberto and not be entirely sure whether the tether being cut was the intention from the start, if it was something Martha ordered, etc. In book six we get explicit confirmation that Alberto made a snap decision at that moment to kill Banagher. He has weird guilt-induced visions of a young Banagher while walking around the cyber-Newtype lab.

... Alberto suddenly went quiet as he stopped in his tracks, as he sensed someone moving at the corner leading to the elevator hall. At a corner of the passage that was somewhat dim because of energy conservation, there was a black shadow popping out from a corner. That shadow moved lightly, forming the shape of a human, and became a shadow of a 4, 5 year old child as it stared right back from the corner. Those familiar eyes looked like they were about to be etched in Alberto’s eyes, and he could not help but look away. Haven’t you had enough already? Alberto thought as he widened his tense eyes with fear. The child who looked eerily similar to Banagher Links suddenly disappeared, and the shadow of the foliage plant placed at the corner was dragged along the floor.

[...]

The white machine fell into the scorching abyss as the traction wire was snapped—he recalled that scene and asked himself whether it was the correct decision. At that time, he merely had the impulse of wanted to get rid of the “Unicorn” from his eyes, and he did not remember making a sane decision. That was because he was scared, and he hated the eyes of the “Unicorn” pilot that were the same as Cardeas—Banagher Links, who was protected by the machine Cardeas put so much effort in making, and who appeared several times in front of him. Those eyes that could overlap his own when he looked into the mirror looked like they would reveal the sins he committed over and over again…

There's a bit more detail given as to the history about the Newtype lab, and why it still exists despite being shuttered. We also learn that it's rumoured to be haunted by the gruesome ghosts of children, who presumably died during experimentation. Alberto is not having a good time, and blames his hallucinations on the rumours.

Now I need to talk about the thorny part:

A lot of the stuff from the novels surrounding Alberto, Martha and Marida that got removed in the anime is related to sexual violence.

Book six has an extreme amount of sexual violence in general.

Content warning for this section: rape / sexual assault, csa, incest. If at any point you want to skip past it, scroll down to the heading and image for Loni's section. SERIOUSLY. I'M NOT KIDDING.

Since I was already talking about Alberto, I'll start there:

Martha and Alberto have an incestuous relationship.

I'm being pretty thorough with my current reread. I'm paying attention to everything, even stuff I don't especially like or find immediately interesting. If anything ever seems really out there, I try to crosscheck the Japanese (for as much as that helps, as a non-speaker). My previous read was much more casual, and I definitely started skimming whenever the incest came up.

As I continue reading into novel seven and beyond, I'm finding that it is... more relevant and also more severe than I remembered. I actually double-checked some scenes from later novels because I was wondering about something, and I'm fairly certain now that the implication is that Martha started grooming Alberto when he was a young teenager. That detail in particular significantly re-frames the kind of antagonist she is, for me.

You can already read sexual malice or eroticism into her interactions with various characters (Marida...), but that's not the same as being a canonical child sexual abuser. It's not like CCA Char stringing Quess along to manipulate her into the robot, or Haman trying and failing to seduce Judau in ZZ. There's no less damning explanation, and it's too prominent for "I pretend I do not see it" to feel like a viable reaction.

Unfortunately for the part of me that just wants to gleefully watch a sexy middle-aged lady be unrelentingly manipulative and terrible to everyone, I think continuing to ignore it would be failing to engage honestly with the text.

But hey, it's not in the anime. Anime Martha, at least, still gets to evil in the uncomplicated and fun kind of way.

I'm definitely going to be paying more attention to this aspect of Alberto as I reread. Unlike the other characters with csa backstories, I do not have any kind of developed opinions about how his is handled...

I wanted to get Martha and Alberto out of the way first because their Whole Situation spans multiple books. They are far from the most prominent instance of sexual violence in book six specifically. They only get three or so lines of unsettling innuendo, if I'm remembering right.

It's not a problem that sexual violence exists in the novels-- some of it is thematically or narratively interesting, and even important to why I'm so attached to certain characters. The problem is the sheer amount of it that gets thrown at you all at once, and how gratuitous it can get. Book six in particular overshoots 'shocking' and 'emotional', right into 'annoying'. It's excessive to the point of feeling stupid, and it cheapens scenes that I think could otherwise be resonant and meaningful.

This is something that's true of many (though not all) of the things I don't like in the Unicorn books-- they feel like frustrating over-extensions of things I did like about them. It's like Fukui doesn't know where to stop, and just takes bigger and bigger swings until it just becomes grossly self-indulgent (or in worse cases, reveals some kind of unpleasant bias).

I still remember reading Marida's backstory in book 5 for the first time and thinking I liked how it was handled, only for next book to go back and do it again but worse. Amazing.

There's a nightmare sequence when she's being brainwashed that has a sudden rape in the middle. It's more graphic than her backstory, which was often explained through metaphor, focused on Marida's emotions, implied through environmental details in the aftermath, etc. This one is just Fukui literally describing an assault to you.

She eventually kills her assailant, but is horrified to look and find the corpse is Zinnerman. Maybe that could have gotten me as a grossout horror moment if it wasn't the endcap for a sequence I didn't like, in a book that's already full of this shit. It's also just not necessarily the kind of shock factor I'm looking for from Gundam specifically. Whatever.

We're later told that the content of the brainwashing is based on Martha, but it's not explained exactly what that means (at least, it is unclear in the English fan translation). The nightmare does start out with Marida witnessing a snippet of Martha's childhood where she attends her father's funeral. Does it draw on her memories? Her worldview? Is it some kind of automatic generative process, or did she write it like a script? We don't know.

At the end of the nightmare, Marida sees herself as a child crying over Zinnerman's body, as an obvious parallel to the funeral of Martha's father at the beginning. I liked this. Shame about the middle.

I said I would come back to Globe. The novel version of the story has significant discussion of rape, including of children. When I compare the fan translation to the Japanese version, some of the lines might be slightly mistranslated, but the actual meanings are never describing anything less grotesque. One of them seems to actually be saying something worse than I had assumed, which is impressive.

The story in the anime states there were no survivors, which is not the case in the book, although there were certainly many horrible deaths.

(The novel tells us directly that a specific character is a survivor of the massacre at Globe. I've already been told that the backstory I'm talking about was cut from the anime, so I guess it's a moot point.

But since the story is being told by Flaste, it's not like some small number of survivors unrelated to him would necessarily be something he'd know about, I guess...)

Flaste also tells Banagher that there was footage of the violence at Globe that ended up being circulated on the black market. Attempting to track down and eliminate the source of the videos is what led to them finding Marida, since she was trafficked through the same network.

I'm done with this part. Unfortunately, the next section is possibly even more thorny.

Loni and Mahdi Garvey

Content warning for this section: racism / orientalism / islamophobia, allusions to real life terrorist attacks, one brief reference to sexual violence. The worst of it is over after you get to the heading "Who is Loni?", but if you want to skip all the way to the conclusion you can always scroll down to the last two images (Loni crying + the Shamblo with the destroyed cockpit).

The novel version of the Shamblo requires multiple pilots. The attack on Dakar is carried out by Loni, her two brothers Walid and Abbas, and her father Mahdi.

Novel Loni is generally a voice of mercy and restraint, although she still willingly participates in the operation. Much of her original dialogue during combat has been given to Kirks in the OVA.

Mahdi Garvey is the vengeful, resentful force that wants to punish the Federation for its crimes and destroy its symbols. He is the one who orders attacks on unrelated buildings and refuses to change course to reduce collateral damage, much like OVA Loni does-- however, he is significantly more resistant to being reasoned with than she is, and never has any moments of doubt or regret.

Walid and Abbas have very little agency. I can't remember a single notable line of dialogue from either of them, nor any traits that differentiate them. They're just kind of there in the background, usually doing whatever what Mahdi tells them to do.

All of these characters are explicitly Muslim in the novels.

One of the very first things we're told about Mahdi is that he has multiple wives and many children, but that Loni and her siblings are the 'purest' of his bloodline. We learn this after the destruction of the Federation submarine, while he tells them not to look away from the blood and entrails of the enemies they just killed. We later learn that he harbours a deep grudge not only against the Federation, but specifically against "White Men" -- he usually calls them Franks in Japanese.

I hate this character. I was so relieved when I heard they removed him from the anime. Most important call they made in the entire production, I think.

(The fan translation incorrectly translates "multiple wives and many children" as "many wives and many concubines," so English readers get an even worse first impression, by the way. I made sure to check everything I'm going to complain about in this section so I'm not slandering Fukui for the translator's mistakes.)

Mahdi talks about his religion quite a bit, but he's not portrayed as a religious extremist. He is not a fundamentalist. He doesn't seem to believe his quest for vengeance is something he is divinely commanded to do, although he certainly believes it is morally justified. He's completely fine with his unveiled daughter driving on her own to go pick up two unrelated, non-Muslim men (but he definitely expects her to give him lots of Muslim grandchildren).

His grievances with the Federation don't involve any particular hostility to secularism. He is angry about the Federation officially saying God is dead at the start of the Universal Century, and about the extraction of wealth from Muslim countries that he believes was an intentional destruction of Islamic society-- but I think those are entirely different issues.

You could try to make calls on whether this choice, or any other individual choice made about this character, is less or more offensive than the alternative-- but I think it's beside the point.

Mahdi isn't a Muslim because Islam is specifically important to his motivations; Mahdi is a Muslim because of what that is supposed to represent to the audience. Mahdi is a Muslim because because of the symbol of the Muslim terrorist in the global consciousness, and because Fukui wanted to invoke imagery of 9/11. His character is inherently a bit incoherent, because he's an amalgam of stereotypes about The Other.

I get the feeling a significant part of the research process for this character was looking at the wikipedia page for Osama Bin Laden. I assume Fukui made him less militantly religious than obvious real-life inspirations either because he believed it would be less controversial, or because it meant he wouldn't have to do as much research about Islam.

The through-line from the better-handled themes of the first five books that eventually leads to the terrible destination of Mahdi Garvey is pretty easy to see. It was deeply, deeply frustrating for me to get invested in the way the series acknowledged and engaged with global structural racism (even when it occasionally got a little clumsy or heavy-handed), only for it to drop this on me six books in.

I actually think this mess of a character was probably intended to be a complex, terrible-but-understandable antagonist? I'm completely serious. That's the whole reason it works to transpose his general motivations onto Loni, after removing all the stereotypes and real-world cultural references.

Mahdi is textually compared to Zinnerman (vengeance for the deaths of loved ones and injustice and violence against one's people), and Zinnerman is obviously framed as sympathetic. Mahdi pretty much has the same kind of backstory framework, just with "Muslims" instead of the fictional "Zeon."

Mahdi is also explicitly textually compared to Alberto (inheritor of an established family legacy and all the pressure that entails). Alberto is complicated, but I think he's also a sympathetic antagonist.

And then there's the very first character we meet in the novels, Syam. Syam is also a man from the Middle East who was negatively affected by the Federation's cultural imperialism, and Syam also participates in a terrorist attack. There's even a mention that the guys who recruited him were infiltrating religious institutions, though Syam was not brought in that way, and the religions in question are left unspecified.

Maybe you're wondering why I was so annoyed that Syam's backstory was removed, given I'm glad that Mahdi's was cut. The way they're handled is significantly different.

When he participates in the attack on Laplace, Syam is a nobody with rational motivations to do something awful. His backstory is there to talk about the material conditions and pressures that foment terrorism, including terrorism targeting oppressive governments, and the ways that powerful people take advantage of the desperate.

Mahdi is arguably sort of also that, but it's delivered through the lens of a deranged islamophobic caricature. lol

Syam's story is also a lot vaguer than Mahdi's, when it comes to real-world details. I'm sure there are criticisms one could make of that, too, but I still believe it's preferable in this case. The more you increase the specificity of real-world details in your future scifi world, the more knowledge or personal experience with the subject you need to pull it off convincingly.

Also, Syam not being white made our protagonist explicitly multiracial by extension, which I liked.

(Perhaps interesting: Loni seems to think of Banagher as being within the category of "Frank", but I'm pretty sure Mahdi identified him on sight as someone with "non-Western" heritage. This does not lead him to treat Banagher with any more respect or courtesy, however. Calling Banagher "the Key to the Box" is significantly more dehumanizing in his mouth than Loni's.)

Here's a quote that I think represents Mahdi at his most understandable and humanized. It happens right before he has the Shamblo blow up a hotel full of people out of spite, lmao:

Loni ignored her two brothers who were unable to speak up as she got up from her seat and gave a tense look at her father. Mahdi took her stare “Loni, [those people mocked me].” ... “[A barbarian] who’ll only imitate the white men on the surface, but [still hangs a knife on his waist]…that’s how those people viewed me. Whether it’s the receptionist, the [doorman], or any guest that brushed by, I can tell from their eyes even if they wouldn’t say it. Those people sold their souls to the society of white men, no matter the color of the skin. To those people, we’re just caged animals, pitiful beasts that are reared in the zoo to exchange for the self-satisfaction of a multi-cultural society.” Am I crazy? Mahdi asked himself in a corner of his mind, Then let me go crazy. and then answered his own question as he looked away from the speechless Loni. Father, grandfather, Loni’s mother, they all died in despair and hatred. I could only keep living to vent the regrets of those souls. I interacted with top-class education and culture in those white men’s society, and continued to be an alien that hated them. I tasted the feelings of bitterness, deceit and infidelity, I lived through such a life full of oxymorons, and it’s to be expected that I’ll lose my mind, but it’s all for this day. What should I do if I don’t unleash my madness? Who’s the one causing me to go mad!?

(I made edits to his dialogue here to more closely match the Japanese. The original fan translation said "those people used to mock us," and continued to use plural throughout the explanation, but the original line refers specifically to himself. I'm pretty sure it's specifically about when he was recently there, for his meeting with Banagher and Zinnerman.)

Again, the revenge narrative is basically the same thing we get from Zinnerman. And that part about feeling alienated from whiteness and being looked-down upon even as a highly educated, culturally assimilated person-- that's a real experience of racism! I've heard this sentiment from people in real life!

The problem is that Fukui put that sentiment in the mouth of a character who's a mishmash of stereotypes based on cultural fears that the non-Muslim world has about Muslim men.

The problem is that the only explicitly Muslim characters in this series exist to be terrorists in a heavy-handed 9/11 reference.

Another side note: the bit about the knife. Mahdi carries around a shamshir. When it was first mentioned I was just like "okay, he has a sword. Maybe it's a family heirloom or something." When Banagher notices it, he interprets it as representing racial / cultural pride as a person from the Middle East. Okay.

Fukui knows most of the obvious things about Islam. He knows about daily prayers, and that Muslim women often cover their hair and dress modestly. He knows that idolatry is a sin. He knows that Muslims are not wholly uniform in beliefs and practices. He knows the phrase "inshallah". I'm skeptical about his familiarity with the contents of the Quran beyond that, or the concepts of sunnah / hadith, or the differences between any specific major branches of Islam.

("Inshallah" comes up because Full Frontal says it as an ostensible gesture of cultural respect and cooperation, and Mahdi begrudgingly responds in kind with "Sieg Zeon". Hm.)

There's a bit where Loni gives an explanation to Banagher that liberal Muslims exist, which I guess might be necessary for an audience unfamiliar with Islam. It doesn't feel much like the kind of explanation an actual Muslim woman would give when asked why she doesn't cover her hair and/or face, though. It also immediately gets used as an excuse to scare Banagher with an example of supposed fundamentalist Muslim beliefs (basically, 'if I had been from one of those groups, seeing my looks would mean you either have to marry me or be executed').

Sorry to keep going on asides, but I actually recently watched a youtube video that contrasted Fukui's use of Islam in Unicorn with Ohtagaki's use of Buddhism in Thunderbolt. Since I'm currently reading the Thunderbolt manga, I thought it was interesting.

It amused me a little how the essayist skirts around specifically calling Unicorn's portrayal offensive or bigoted, instead settling for calling it "cringe."

You get the picture, right? I'm sure I could keep dredging up more examples, but I'll move on to how the events play out.

The Shamblo attacks the city as planned. Mahdi is bloodthirsty and vengeful, Loni is troubled, and the brothers are just kind of there. Mahdi has the Shamblo deliberately blow up an unrelated hotel.

Riddhe is flying around, witnessing everyone exploding and having a nervous beakdown about it. Mahdi refuses to change course to reduce civilian casualties when Loni asks.

Banagher fights Zinnerman, launches in the Unicorn, and saves Riddhe from getting crumpled like an empty soda can. Riddhe starts carrying Banagher around so they can do sick aerial stunts.

Then Mahdi has the Shamblo attack "The Trade Center." Fuck off, Fukui. You hack.

Since Loni is hooked into the psycommu, she hears all the deaths as they happen. This is finally too much for her, and she pulls off the helmet and begs her father to stop. Enraged, Mahdi yells at Loni about her mother's death.

The exposition here feels very awkward. Mahdi just drops this story on the reader at the last minute while chastising Loni, who obviously already knew about it. This really didn't need to be treated like a reveal.

“We should have expressed our thoughts sufficiently. I learned that Allah has a merciful and understanding heart. if we continue to massacre, we’ll be defying God.” She climbed up the ladder beside the seat and approached the captain’s seat. “What are you doing? Get back to your seat.” Mahdi growled, but Loni ignored him as she approached. “There are women and children on the Federation streets too. Father, please show mercy…” “Shut up! Did you forget how your mother died!?” [...] “Your mother killed a Federation soldier in the midst of the chaos after the war. She killed a despicable soldier who intended to rape a Muslim female in a refugee camp. The jury was completely one-sided, your mother was sentenced to death, and I couldn’t do anything to save her. I could only let your mother die all just to protect the trust of the company, all just to protect the cursed inheritance as a “Descendant of Dubai”! I endured everything all for the sake of this moment. I’m going to use this “Shamblo” to wreck the parliament hall and prompt all the Muslims to rise up. Our family’s tragic wish will be fulfilled soon, and now even you want to betray me?” The tears rolled down his suddenly widened eyes, dampening his face. This isn’t father. It’s impossible for such a man to be my father. Loni thought, but felt that this might be the first time she was seeing her father’s true state, ...

Realizing she cannot change his mind, Loni pulls a gun on her father. However, he pulls out his own gun and shoots her instead. As she loses consciousness, she reaches out to Banagher with her mind.

The Shamblo's bits are no longer effective without Loni controlling them. Hearing Loni's dying voice telling him to take down the machine, Banagher destroys the Shamblo.

Loni's brothers start arguing with Mahdi after he shoots Loni, but that doesn't save them by leading to a change of heart. They die alongside him in the cockpit.

Who is Loni?

Obviously, Loni is a Lalah archetype. She's one of at least three slightly different Lalah allusions in these books, which is kind of a lot, but I do like that one of them is a man.

Both versions of Loni's death scene have references to Lalah's dialogue in First Gundam ("I finally got to meet you," "It's sad, isn't it?").

Her eyes in the novel are green, also like Lalah. Because of her eye colour, Banagher mentally compares her to Audrey, and also... to his mom. The joke writes itself.

Banagher has significantly more face-to-face interaction with Loni in the novel than the OVA. Because of this, his relationship to her is more personal, at least before they get into each other's heads.

Novel Loni is knowledgeable, patient, and fond of children. She tells Banagher she wants to have ten kids.

She's a nice girl, I guess. It's not really possible to divorce her portrayal as a character from the portrayal of her father, Islam, and Muslims generally. The logic is built into her. I much prefer the character the OVA gave us.

They didn't have to change her character in order to remove the references to Islam. They could have just as easily kept Mahdi as the antagonist while making the Muslims-Zeon swap. I do like what they did, though.

By taking her father's role while also still retaining some of her own, Loni becomes even more central to her arc. She gets to be the primary antagonist and the person that Banagher wants to save. I think it's cool.

Like I said before, I try to avoid getting too deep into spoilers for later novels, but Loni's death in the novel has a number of things in common with the death of another female character that happens later. They're a little too similar for me. I'm sure it's an intentional parallel, but there's not enough contrast for me to find it juicy... I just don't think the narrative actually needs two different female characters to heroically sacrifice themselves so a male character can feel sad about shooting them. Of the two, Loni was the better choice for a rewrite, since this arc needed one anyway.

She still dies, obviously, and Banagher is still sad. There's even still a Lalah callback-- but it's a distinctly different kind of tragedy than the one that happens later. Barring any unexpected future changes, I personally think it's an improvement.

Look! A major theme!

Loni's father is still a presence in the OVA, in much the same way Loni's grandparents were for Mahdi in the novel. This is a story about ghosts of the past.

Tying Loni's rampage in the anime to a runaway psycommu is an interesting difference, especially given she says "Father?" right before it goes haywire. There's almost an insinuation that the machine is possessed.

This works as a metaphor, but if Mahdi was the previous pilot it could theoretically be literal, in much the same way that Neo Zeon managed to get some kind of Essence of Char from the Sazabi's Psycho-Frame when they created Frontal. Mahdi also presumably still developed and built the Shamblo, whether he piloted it or not.

"That isn't her, she's being enslaved."

Loni does describe her father as being swallowed or consumed by the machine in the novel, and she also describes the Shamblo itself as a force "leading people down the wrong path". I definitely interpreted this as metaphorical, though. Loni was the only one with her brain actually hooked into the psycommu.

They did a good job emphasizing the weight of family history as a theme in the OVA. The hands that reach down and pull Banagher's psychic projection away from her face! Again, I love the potential implications.

It's possible there's supplemental information or interviews about this somewhere, but I kind of prefer not having specific lore explanations behind what's happening in these scenes. I like the ambiguity.

Another interesting detail about OVA Loni is the explicit statement of "there's nothing left for me" / "there's no place for me" as a reason why she cannot stop.

This isn't part of her character in the novel, nor Mahdi's, even if loss and being consumed by revenge obviously is. I really like that it adds another connection to Zinnerman and Flaste's dialogue about how they felt after Globe.

I can't stop thinking about how easily I could draw a compelling parallel between the OVA version of Loni and the novel version Riddhe. They simply do not exist in the same universe. They both only ever passingly overhear the less interesting version of each other-- assuming they even notice the other as an individual at all, rather than just an enemy machine.

It's sad, isn't it?

I really like this visual. The hand motif strikes again...

The novel ends with Riddhe and Banagher both knocked out by the Banshee. It also reveals that Marida is the pilot, since Banagher senses her presence. The OVA places its cliffhanger a little earlier, right after the initial reveal.

I'm excited to watch the next one. We've hit the point where I feel like I'm starting to lose my "advantage", so to speak, in terms of knowing what's coming. It's exciting! I enjoy watching these a lot. Even when I dislike a change, I still like thinking and writing about it.

Sorry for the sheer length of this beast, and a huge thank you to the handful of dedicated Unicorn fans following me who are always excited and encouraging. Knowing anyone out there gets something out of these makes my day, and I appreciate your thoughtful responses. ✌️

I'm so glad to be done with novel six. Holy shit.

#remibloggue #gundam #gundam unicorn

[deliciousdefendorinternet]

Okay, this has honestly been in the back of my mind for years now, but I feel like I must ask. Did anyone else feel an immense feeling of anger/discomfort when Poppy brought the entire village into Branch's bunker? Because I did. When I first saw it, I felt uncomfortable. And to this day, I get the ick thinking about it. Like, I get why she did it, and I understand that it was the safest thing to do for the village, but like... I can't explain just how upsetting it was to me. Branch is a better person than I am, because if it were me, just... no. And she didn't even ask properly! And then had the audacity to say it was a solid burn returned like??? No? No it wasn't? That was a home invasion, not a snipe back at him, what? In what world is his comment on her life skills even remotely on the same level as her just letting the ENTIRE VILLAGE in his house? And they weren't even good houseguests either! They IMMEDIATELY started messing with his stuff, like, have these trolls never heard of proper guest etiquette? Look, I love Poppy, but she can seriously get on my nerves a lot. Especially since the movies made it so that in the end, she doesn't really learn much because her screw ups have a way of completely disappearing with little to no consequences.

To add to this, anyone else feel like when rewatching the first Trolls movie, that Branch was in the right, and that he was done so dirty by so many? Like, the ukulele scene. As a kid, I did think Branch was being rude, but now? Those 2 were literally out in the woods, with who knows what out there. Poppy literally got her friends kidnapped by a BERGEN literally the DAY BEFORE, and she's going back to singing loudly? Like, Poppy, babe, are you TRYING to die? Her whole song just shows how much plot armor Poppy has because, seriously? Not to mention, trolls are tiny, so her singing could genuinely put a target on them. I feel like the only reason Branch didn't up and say this is because it probably should be common knowledge, but apparently, pop trolls don't really have much common sense. I really wish they had Branch explain it though, because as a kid, I thought him to be a killjoy and unnecessarily bossy. But now? Yeah, I can see why singing in the forest when you're tiny might not be the best idea. Makes me wonder just how the pop trolls survived all this time?

I love Poppy, I really do. She's fun, nice, and is a complex protagonist (who is awesome and not a Mary Sue, though the same can't be said for TBGO/Trollstopia Poppy) whose character development is very visible. However, the writers really focus more on Branch's character development than hers and focus more on finding new ways to traumatize him than finding ways to make Poppy more mature, and that's what really bugs me about Poppy's character.

I really wanna start a petition for DreamWorks to lay off Branch for once and give Poppy more attention. I'm not asking to all out traumatize her (though the idea of DreamWorks giving her the Branch Treatment is funny in the mean way) but it would be nice if they gave her another journey where she has to learn and grow, and for there to be consequences that aren't easily waved away by a song and dance. TWT did a decent job at it (it could have been better, but it was a start), and I really need DreamWorks to do something like that (but better, obviously) again.

That being said, I do like how they handled Broppy. They went from rival/strangers to friends to lovers. It didn't happen instantly, and the progression of the relationship didn't feel rushed or forced. They both have an equal standing in the relationship and are supportive of each other. It's cute, and I'm glad DreamWorks at least got that right.

This should have probably been separate asks, but oh well. YOLO or whatever. I just really wanna know your thoughts.

I'm mostly of the same mind it angers me but I get why she did it I feel at the very least she should have told everyone to behave themselves and not act like they were teenagers throwing a house party while their parents were away for the night.

some people have said that maybe she did in on purpose to pressure Branch into going with her but I prefer to think that wasn't the case because in my opinion that would be straight up villainous.

a Royal abusing their power to put pressure on a civilian to Risk their life to rescue a group of your friends who are in danger due to your incompetent leadership.

not to mention a civilian who she knows is more terrified of the Bergens than anyone else in the village.

yeah that would make her an out and out villain imo so I prefer to think that wasn't her intention.

I don't feel its so bad it needs to be changed in the story overall but I would have liked it had Branch actually called her out on it.

basically just have him angrily point out to her after she acts like it wasn't a big deal because it was just a bunch of old Junk. that it wasn't just a place to him it was his home and that wasn't just a load of old Junk it was stuff he worked hard for years to make and it made him feel safer it was the only place he actually felt safe and like he could relax.

maybe prompting Poppy to actually give a more genuine apology as before she just thought of his home as him being over the top for the sake of it.

since she and the village just viewed him as a Drama queen and she didn't really realise his fears were actually so genuine that the Bunker actually mattered to him that deeply.

part of me thinks the intent by the writers was for her consequences in the first film to be being betrayed by Creek who she cared about but yeah that whole thing could have been handled better.

her and her dads leadership put him in danger and he literally said what he had to say in order to avoid being eaten alive he didn't really have any agency in the betrayal.

so Poppy's somber pleas for him to not go through with it kinda make me mad tbh like this whole situation is your fault yet my guy Creek is expected to die because of it.

so your incompetent dad can live? yeah no.

also if you made that Petition for Branch I'd totally sign it 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

and I agree Poppy deserves some more focus and development tho a touch of angst for her I think could maybe be a good thing in making her character stronger.

like I've said before maybe having Peppy die in a future film and her at first trying to ignore her grief by focusing on her queen duties and slapping on her usual smile worrying both Branch and Viva.

or having her mother turn up in the future like some fans have suggested only for her to be a selfish villain who couldn't care less about Poppy and Viva.

and this is the proper shock to Poppy's "" family is always great "" mentality as even with Bro zone they worked things out in the end making her think no family could be entirely broken.

but her mother literally doesn't give a shit if her children live or die and she maybe abandoned them both when Poppy was a baby.

drawing a little contrast with Branch only for the mother to have zero remorse since she didn't want children and maybe she was only with Peppy for status as royalty.

and Bro zone could be shown as being more remorseful over the past even a while after the events of TBT which contrasts with Poppy's mom kinda nicely.

anyway I'm getting off topic a bit lol but yeah I agree Poppy needs more focus and Branch's needs to be picked on less by the writers.

but I feel a touch of angst directed Poppy's way could give her some good development and make her a stronger character overall.

edit. also as someone who doesn't like Hugs Poppy's smug stunt with the Hug time Bracelets does make me a little mad like tell the Trolls to Respect people's Boundaries Girl.

#trolls #dreamworks trolls

[gffa]

Hey what are your thoughts wrt grogus return to din and how it ties into the whole attachment thing. Like does it work with the theme or undermine it or some secret third thing?

For me, it's sort of a mixed bag, which basically comes down to, "As it stands, I think it works pretty well with the whole attachment thing, but also I recognize that I'm disregarding Felony's contradictory-to-Lucas'-meaning takes, and that ultimately it'll head in a direction that I'll find less and less thematically coherent." I actually really loved The Book of Boba Fett's take on Luke, Grogu, and attachment, that attachment is the fear of living without someone that eats at you so much you'd fall to the dark side or let a thousand people die because you can't live without the person. While Grogu isn't that far down that path, he's distracted, he's unfocused, he's undisciplined in his heart and mind, because he doesn't really want to be here, he wants to put Din first over saving other people's lives. When Luke lays out the choice before him, it's a necessary one, because a Jedi must have a disciplined, focused mind, a Jedi must be willing to be selfless, because that's how the Force works, being selfish leads to the dark side. Grogu's heart wasn't in it, and if he had the responsibilities and role of a Jedi, but was willing to let those people die if Din was in danger, then that's a pretty shitty situation and shouldn't have happened. The thing is, I don't think Felony cares that much about how the Force works in those finer details, because he likes the father & son dynamic and I don't think he wants to portray any downsides to it, even tepid ones such as "Maybe using your psychic wizard powers based on your emotions when you're willing to put one person's life over a hundred others, is a bad idea." because he's more interested in writing the baby saving Din and cool moments of Force use and keeping up with the practice of lifting rocks, but not the mental discipline that comes with it, because that gets in the way of father & son would Do Anything For Each Other that he writes. So we'll see how it goes, as it stands, I'm mostly fine with it, I'm not taking The Mandalorian super seriously after seeing the absolutely atrocious worldbuilding/timeline stuff Favroni have going on, like that is hilariously bad, I'm not taking this seriously at all right now, I'm just here for Mean Wife and cute baby antics!

#din djarin #grogu #meta #attachment #lumi.txt

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

Ok, you don't have to post this if you feel like it's too much, but I just needed to get this rant out about Robert Manion (not censoring so people who have it filtered can avoid it).

When I joined the fandom in 2019 ne was basically the fandom's darling, every fifth post in the tag was about him or his characters and it was hard to find a tgwdlm song ranking that didn't have SSN in the top 3. I wasn't a huge fan of him, mostly because I'm ace and didn't find him attractive, but I'm not going to lie and pretend like I always hated him. I thought he seemed like a nice enough guy, as did most other people in the fandom. I didn't have twitter at the time, so I didn't see any of the stuff he did there, but I did hear some of it on here which made me not like him as much, but for the most part I ignored it.

It's his actions around the sexual harassment incident that still makes my blood boil when I think about it. To me his apology post came off less as a sincere apology from someone who recognised how shitty he was and more like he was trying to make himself seem like such a good person for acknowledging that he was wrong. It came at such a shitty time for fans too, since everyone who clicked on his insta stories would have been expecting something about NMT 2 but instead got hit with something so heavy and potentially triggering. It was probably the worst day I've ever had in the fandom, as the fallout was intense and the few days before SK officially addressed the issue were actually stressful.

I know we don't know everything that happened behind the scenes, nor are we entitled to, but it definitely seems like Rob did not take being kicked out of Starkid permanently after NMT2 well. He had a whole year between his post and when he went on Tik Tok live to talk about his side of the story, but chose to do it only during the duration of the Starkid Returns kickstarter, when it became clear he wasn't going to be invited back. I know he made some pretty serious claims against SK, and I wouldn't normally dismiss something like that, but the fact that he also tried to play off his harassment as a joke that others made into a bigger deal than it was makes me so mad. Also, some of the stuff he said, like claiming that Dylan gets too many solos and calling them cringey for being in their 30s and still singing some of their older songs, just came off as pure pettiness and spite, and like he wanted to discourage the few fans he still had from giving to the campaign, especially since he stopped when it ended.

Honestly there isn't really a big point to this, I just felt like I needed to get my frustration off my chest. I was watching tgwdlm with friends yesterday and it was so hard for me to get through SSN remembering all of this. I just hope that he stays gone and doesn't try to pull anymore shit during the next kickstarter. Also, I hope all the fans who were seriously hurt by what happened are doing better now.

~~~

#confession #starkid #robert manion #tw robert manion #robert manion tw

[carlyyyyxbishhop]

Love me like I haven't changed // Shayne Topp // 5

five // Kate

I had figured out that Tuesday's were the worst days. Previously, Sunday had been my least favourite. The fact that we had the whole weekend off, and then Sunday came around with the reminder that there was another week. But I was wrong.

Tuesday's were the days I had therapy. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I hated going to therapy. I mean hell, it was free. My mother decided to fund my self-help endeavour with the promise that I'd visit her again. But, I didn't like going in and drudging up the memories I had of Shayne, the ones I tried so hard to push away.

Charlie had told me the two sessions before that talking about Shayne might help me air out my grievances about what happened, because I still refused to talk about it. I just wasn't ready yet.

And so I sat, 6:00pm on a Tuesday night, waiting for the guy to stick his head out the door and usher me in.

I had decided that Charlie was a good guy, I mean you kind of have to be to do what he does. Charlie was inherently good though. He was kind and quiet and understanding. He also followed what I wanted to do in our sessions which worked well for me.

"Kate?" I looked toward him with a small smile and stood to follow him in.

"How are you Charlie?" I asked politely as I took my usual seat near the window.

"Good thanks, how about yourself?" He returned, taking his usual seat across from me. He picked up his notepad, scribbling something down which I assumed to be a date.

"Yeah I'm okay, I went back to work this week." He raised his eyebrows and glanced toward me.

"Really? That's great Kate." He smiled, taking notes.

"Yeah, everyone at work has been great I guess. No one's asking questions which I guess is because they think there's been a death in the family or something."

"Are you close with anyone at work?"

"Not really," I looked at the window to my right, watching the raindrops roll down it, "I used to have a few work friends but they moved on to other jobs over the years. I keep to myself a bit at work, I don't really talk about my life much."

"What about friends outside of work? You haven't mentioned anyone in our previous sessions." He poked. I mean I can't blame him, I haven't really told him all that much about my life currently, just stuff from 5 years ago.

"Yeah I had some friends, have.. had?," I spoke as more of a question than a statement, "We had lots of friends, as in Shayne and I. Mostly they were his friends that sort of adopted me. I mean, when I moved here I didn't really have anyone. And like.. I still talk to some of them when they reach out to me but I've sort of stopped reaching out now. I mean it kind of feels weird speaking to them knowing they're speaking to him too." I rambled.

Charlie looked up for a second while he was taking notes, "So you feel like they aren't your friends anymore?"

"I guess... I mean I was friends with some of them more than Shayne was. It just doesn't feel right to reach out now."

"So you didn't just lose your boyfriend, you lost your friends too." He offered, I nodded in response.

"Yeah I guess you could put it like that."

"So do you think that's the only thing keeping you from reaching out, the fact that you feel like they're his friends more than yours?" He prompted.

"I guess there's also the fear that he might have told them what happened between us. I mean, it wasn't all my fault but I still feel a bit guilty about everything that happened." I looked back to the window and let out a breath that I had been holding in.

"Do you think Shayne is the type of guy to tell his friends about what happened?"

"No... not really. He's good at keeping things to himself. I know he would have told his best friend and I know his best friend is good at being a neutral party in situations like this."

"Has this best friend reached out to you?" He asked, pencil in his mouth and concerned look on his face.

"Damien? Yeah he did. Right after we split up he came around to see me when he didn't hear from me for a few days. I told him I was fine though, I didn't really have much to say then because I was still so angry at Shayne."

"And so, Damien hasn't reached out since then?" I could understand his confusion, we were talking about a situation he still had no idea about.

"No he hasn't, I asked him not to for a while. I just figured Shayne would need him more than me." Charlie nodded in response.

"So who's there for you? Who's your Damien?" I looked toward the window again, holding back tears while I thought of a response to the question. There was no response.

"My mother I guess," I looked back toward Charlie, "I mean I haven't told her what happened, she just knows Shayne and I split and that it was particularly messy." He nodded again.

"Well the closer we get to what happened, the more I'll understand about the situation," He began, "How about you start us off where we left it last time." He smiled slightly, trying to diffuse from my obvious discomfort. I nodded in agreement.

"I actually brought the diary I was using at the time to prompt my memory," His smile widened at this.

"Oh that's great, you journal. Do you still journal?" I nodded.

"Yeah, pretty much every day."

"Great, I'll let you find the next page and we can begin." I smiled, picking up the small book and flicking through the pages of memories from 5 years ago.

#shayne topp #shayne x reader #smosh imagine #smosh shayne #smosh #shayne topp x reader #shayne topp imagines

[reelaroundthedavekan]

So the last week and a half has been filled with some not fun stuff, culminating in Return to Office today. I just need to type all this out so please do not feel obligated to read any of this.

Let me explain in bullet list form...

We had a lovely christmas morning with waffles and a few presents

On christmas afternoon, Peter was on his way to his car when he slipped on a patch of ice, landed badly and broke his leg (fibula, mostly, tibia less so but still). [he is doing ok now, spoiler alert]

It certainly could have been worse, luckily he did not hurt his back or head, but he really fucked up his fibula, pardon my bellicosity.

At the time, we were hoping it was sprained as initially there was no swelling or bruising and he wasn't in a lot of pain and we decided we didn't need to spend christmas night in the ER.

On Boxing day we took him to the urgent care, because it had swollen and bruised overnight. We got to sit in the waiting room for 1.5 hours and watch The Santa Clause 2 (which is a really weird movie as it turns out). We then got to go back to a room and wait for the Dr and x-rays...and got to watch the Santa Clause 2 again.

The Dr came in, took a glance at his ankle and she said "oh that looks broken", so our hopes of sprain were gone quickly.

X-rays confirmed a nasty spiral break of the fibula and a smaller fracture of the tibia. It is usually not good when the Dr says "I haven't seen a break like that before".

She put on a splint and wrapped the hell out of it, sent us home with crutches and referred us to an Ortho Trauma office. Luckily it was the office of a Dr that my mom (long time Orthopedic OR Nurse) had worked with.

My mom was able to call him and he called us back very quickly, which was great because he was on vacation for the week. My mom has pull. He was able to look at the x-rays and also commented on how bad the break was. Talked Peter through everything and had his scheduling coordinator call us. Surgery was schedule for Tuesday, January 2nd...

...which happened to be Peter's 21st birthday [sad trombone]

So the week was spent trying keep him comfortable, managing the pain, figuring how to shower and keep the splint dry.

Yesterday morning he went to the DMV to get his new license and then we were off to the hospital. We got there at 10:15 AM and we left at about 5 PM. The surgery went great (a plate and 9 screws) and we got him home. He'll be in a splint for 2 more weeks and then after the sutures come out will switch to a boot and possibly one of those rollie knee scooters.

He goes back to campus on the 16th, follow up appointment is the 18th. Hopefully he will be able to get around OK.

And then today I got to go into the office and work (Mon/Wed/Thur in office, Tue/Fri at home). I know it is not necessarily a big deal, but I have been working from home for almost 20 years, so it is a weird thing for me.

Plus it is at a very large company with a lot of people all going back at the same time. I haven't sat at a cubicle for closer to 25 years and to have this many people around me all making a lot of noise was really jarring. I don't like it and I am not going to like it and I will be grumpy about it for a while.

#way too long

[demonsfate]

Whilst it hasn't been ever officially stated as to "what went wrong" with Tekken 6 and specifically Jin's characterization. Especially because the Tekken devs (especially Harada) are liars. Usually to make it out as if they're actually carefully planning stuff and not just making up the story as they go along, they'll make statements that are clearly untrue (usually because they contradict former statements)

However, there have been tidbits of information they've given, especially during the time of T6's release, that does give you insight as to what happened here. And mostly it all boils down to Harada.

Despite Harada claiming Jin in his 2nd favorite character (the first obvs being Heihachi) - I don't think Harada liked Jin to begin with. I think he was always bored with Jin as I don't think Harada likes characters that are mostly good. (As even recently, he stated he relates to Kazuya more than Jin. Although, still claiming Jin is his second favorite.)

This is an old tweet from Harada that I feels completely gives away what happened;

Harada has been trying to make Jin a villain since his conception basically. The writers didn't want to do this. Now this is only me theorizing - but due to Harada loving Heihachi, this makes me believe that as I said, Harada was bored with Jin and thought he'd be more interesting as a villain. However, the writers, disagreed. Because making Jin a villain goes against the original concept for him. Which the original concept for Jin was to be the Good Mishima (this was even mentioned in the SFxTK artbook) and to be a tragic (or "unfortunate") hero. iirc, I believe another artbook or something mentions that Jin was supposed to be Kazuya's opposite as well. He's what Kazuya might've been if Kazuya was raised by a loving family and not by Heihachi. Therefore, having Jin behave exactly like Kazuya also destroys the purpose of his character. So, after the creative clashes against director and writers, they finally came to an agreement - they'll make Jin a bad guy... if it's for a good reason.

And that's where the incredibly sloppy and inconsistent writing comes in. It's why Jin is so fucking weird in Tekken 6. It's why he's a total coldhearted bad guy (what Harada wanted) yet is still supposedly doing something good (defeating Azazel to save the world... by throwing the world into a war????) But I felt like they still could've executed this a lot better? But who knows, given that Harada's the director - he could've been telling the writers that they weren't writing Jin as "villainous" as he envisioned.

But then the backlash was major. Fans didn't like how Jin was written. Harada reported even getting hateful letters in the mail because of this (which is kinda funny now... given how hated Jin's character is amongst many fans. Probs 'cos a lotta newer fans don't remember what Jin used to be) and seeing as the writers didn't even wanna do this... it's why Harada conceded and then let Jin return to what he was rather than pushing it.

Again, a lot of this is simple speculation off a tweet. But I just have the strongest feeling that if the writers hadn't argued with Harada about making Jin at least "somewhat good" and if the backlash wasn't there. Jin would've been a straight up villain in Tekken 6 - I mean, he already sorta was, but what I mean is that he wouldn't have had any good motives (saving the world supposedly) and that I wouldn't even be surprised if he remained a villain.

But I guess there is one thing that always confuses me about my own speculations, Harada's tweet, and Harada's adamancy in making Jin a villain... why did Harada wanted to make Jin a villain so bad if he was just gonna introduce the next main character as... a Mishima who is a Good Mishima? Like as great as Lars is... it just makes his character feel weird when... why do that when you could've just kept Jin as the Good Mishima? I sometimes wonder if maybe they also planned on doing the same with Lars (making him bad later) but I don't know.

Regardless of what the writing process behind Tekken 6 truly was, it remains bizarre and just... bad. And again, I return to my statement; it just made me wish they had retconned it. It was that much of a mess that they should've just retconned it.

#lightflown #✏️ - ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏsᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ // (ooc) #// DFNDSJF LOOK ... i'm very passionate about jin's character #// and i'm forever salty about what happened in T6 #// so i try to do my own personal investigation to figure out What Happened