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#but like. she seriously thinks she’s being kind to him! she seriously thinks that she’s naturally better than him and her abuse is an act
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Hi if your taking requests and if your comfortable with it could you write something where Amelia at like 15 or 16 starts dating another driver's son and Charles and her brother are overprotective of her and not having it
Note: I already have this for Élodie and Thomas! But I'll write this little one!
"Is she going on a date with Arthur Russell?", Charles asked as he saw his teenager walk out of the paddock with George's oldest son.
"Seems like it", Hervé mumbled as Thomas shot him a side-eye.
"Is she going to get a British accent because of it? Because that's where I draw the line", your youngest son spoke.
"Really? Your issue with our sister dating is that she can get a British accent instead of our fine French accent, noting down the R and missing a couple of words?", Hervé snapped at his brother.
"My daughter is going on a date", Charles mumbled to himself, "my little girl is being whisked away and by someone in the paddock".
Thomas seemed to be the only one who was dealing with the situation like it was: two teenagers hanging out, "do you guys seriously think Amélie is going to be swept like that? Only if that guy had very good moves! Amélie grew up with you and mama", he pointed to Charles, "she knows what she's worth and she knows to not accept less than she deserves - and her standards are very, very high!", he reasoned.
Charles and Hervé, however, still sulked as they watched you approach them, "why the pouts and angry faces?", you wondered.
"Some English dude is taking Amélie away from us", Hervé offered.
"Arthur is not some English dude, he's George and Carmen's son, who by the way, is very kind, polite and smart", you offered, "I'm pretty happy that, amongst the whole paddock, he is who she decided to hang out with", you reasoned.
Reality dawned on Charles, "there are so many players here - Oh! The Formula two drivers!", he groaned.
"Didn't you and mama start dating when you were in Formula 2?", Hervé quirked an eyebrow.
"Do as I say and not how I do it", Charles mumbled.
(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)
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kanmom51 · 3 days
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Public service notice
Remember how I said I haven't blocked you just yet @chaotickoalacat ?
Well, got your reply ask, and let me tell you this:
I'm really tempted to do it right now.
I am not going to answer this ask, more so because I know how you will be literally crucified in the comments not only for the utter nonsense you are spewing but the way you are doing so.
I will address a couple of things you are saying though. Because seriously dude, I'm in utter shock as to how you are actually able to come up with this stuff.
You believe MHJ? Really?
You tell me that because she created NJ then her saying that Illit are copying her then that's it? It must be true? She also said that BTS copied her concepts in the past, that true too? You are aware of the fact that she is all about the visuals and has nothing to do with the music part of things, right? Just checking.
And in the same breath you are also full on acknowledging that she was the one behind the BTS leaks, including the damaging leak of JM's private info.
So, let me get this straight, you have no issue in believing a person that is untrustworthy and moved to hurt your fave, as long as it suits your current agenda? Seriously? I kind of think that once untrustworthy always untrustworthy. Or in your world is it once untrustworthy sometimes trust worthy as long as what's coming out of their mouth is what I want to hear?
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Btw, you most definitley showed your true colours with the whole "JK's fling" idiocy. Prey tell me what does it say about JM, or more so, what does it say about what you think about JM if he sticks by JK's side while JK, in your warped mind, is an untrustworthy copy cat cheater? You must think so highly of JM for sticking by JK's side when JK treats him like shit (according to your warped views).
And let me make my views clear as day here. JK did not copy JM nor is JK an asshole cheater that can't keep his dick to himself. Balloon busted for you, I guess.
And yes, we are both BTS fans (or are we? cause you seem to be a solo stan and not a fan of BTS the band and all it's members), but clearly you lack the basic emotional intelligence that someone who is mature enough and with some life and long term relationship experience has. Either you are very young and inexperienced or for some reason lack that healthy relationship experience. Because thinking so low of JK and yet believing at the same time that JM would stick around someone like that, yeah, there is something lacking in your life experience. Maybe no experience, maybe bad experience, maybe too much Kdrama watching experience. Whichever it is, please, do not try and compare us.
There is NO comparison.
You say that you don't view JM as a damsel in distress, that he is a strong person, stronger than JK seeing how well he did in the army. Let me start by saying what a load of bull (not the him being strong part, but the part where you claim you aren't out to 'save' him). He's strong when it suits you, which is when you want to prove he's better than JK and/or the others (I'll get into how disgusting and disrespectful that comparison you are making is in a second). But at the same time he, supposedly in your fantasy world, allows JK and the company to step all over him, to copy his ideas and creativity and to scorn him and mess around with others, and continues to play along with their game, of showing up for JK, going on trips with him, enlisting with him even after he's supposedly, again, been mistreated, disrespected, cheated on. I would kind of suggest that you make up your mind which is it?
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As for this constant comparison with the others when it comes to their army service, I've been vocal about this in the past and I will say it again. It sickens me how disrespectful you are towards not only the other BTS members, each and every one of them doing their utmost best within their army placement, but it's disrespectful towards every single other SK young man that is doing their compulsory military service. How easy it is sitting on your comfy chair in the safety of your own home or wherever it is you are sitting, which isn't an actual war zone, behind your screen and keyboard, grading these young men that have left their lives behind for 18 months to enlist into active duty in a military that is at war with another country. Please have more respect not only for every single one of the members (each serving at their utmost best within their assigned duties) but also for all the other young men that are doing just the same. JM is amazing, he's assigned duties are utilizing his high level of intelligence and mathematical abilities. Kudos to him for excelling at it. But why is it so hard for you to say that and at the same time say the same about each and every other member? Why is there this need not only to uplift one, but to do so at the expense of the other, diminishing what the other is doing? This whole attitude is just so childish and stupid. And you know what? Like I said, it's disrespectful not only to the other members and to every single other soldier, but also to JM, who doesn't need to bring down the others to show just how amazing he is.
This is it. Let me make this as clear as day that even if I end my sentences with a question mark, it's a rhetorical question and not an invitation for your response. I will not reply to any more asks you might throw my way. Obviously you are intrenched in your ideas and opinions, as warped and unhealthy as they may be.
Good luck trying to save JM from the one person he is showing us all that he wants to spend every second, every minute, every hour with.
And good luck with it all when Jikook Karma strikes, cause it's coming and it's coming strong, and when it does come well, all those that lack the respect to either JK or JM, those who are willfully closing their eyes and ears to what they have been showing and telling us for years now...
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...the day is coming when it can no longer be ignored.
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wetcatspellcaster · 23 hours
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Metapost: "The Ascendent"
**this is a meta for my fic, Pieces Still Stuck in Your Teeth, and NOT a discussion of the BG3 game canon in any way. If you try and make this into a disk-horse, I will BITE you**
(spoilers under the cut for Chapters 1-23 of Pieces Still Stuck in Your Teeth).
So... remember in the Chapter One endnote when I said I was a Spike/Buffy fan first, and a person second? x
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In more seriousness, there was a number of fictional seasonings/ingredients that went into creating what I felt was the villain of a Gothic horror, and what I felt could turn the Ascendent into something that was both 'fixable', and something I enjoyed writing.
Those ingredients were:
Spike and the idea of 'soulless' vampires in the BtVS canon - do I like this conceit of BtVS worldbuilding and how it's used in the show? No. I think it often underlines how bad Whedon is at writing romance. BUT I do think it gives Buffy this free pass for which vampires she can/can't like or adopt, and I needed some of that for my protagonist. I need a 'I can fix him' moment - BtVS has those in fucking SPADES.
Howl's Moving Castle (this one was accidental, I'm still mad at myself but I can't deny it's there) - man conducts magic ritual for power, removing an essential part of himself in the process that needs to be returned
Picture of Dorian Gray (the idea of an exterior staying pristine while something hidden suffers and decays)
Curse of Strahd (the soulless in Barovia, which I mentioned in Chapter 23)
The idea of default moral alignments in D&D. I have a whole chapter arguing against this in my thesis (mostly bc it's often applied to entire races) but I was fascinated by creating a set of circumstances where I feel like a default moral alignment is valid, actually. 7,000 deaths seems like a good set up. I wanted to imagine a being that was trapped within a default moral alignment, and the laws of its very being prevent it from being good no matter what it tries, and it knows that (this kind of creates a feedback loop with the Spike/Buffy stuff)
The parts of the BG3 canon I took and REMADE (I'm stressing this throughout, I was making a horror story and a horror monster your honour):
Astarion conducts the Rite of Profane Ascension with scars on his back, but has to scar Cazador's back personally, suggesting that um... the Rite REALLY SHOULDN'T BE CONDUCTED BY SOMEONE WHO'S GOT THOSE SCARS. Cazador wasn't going to do it that way, is all I'm saying!!
The idea that Ascended!Ending Astarion is a concentrated version of certain traits that have persisted throughout his story - his flirtiness, his understanding of sex as a mechanism and expression of power, his use of a façade as a mask for trauma he refuses to acknowledge.
The lines alluding to dissociation in the brothel foursome, post-Ascension.
The idea that Astarion seduced Tav to survive or protect himself- in my case, because I made the Ascendent empty save for Astarion's survival instinct, the idea that he would gravitate towards Tav as one of his default modes to potentially survive made sense to me - this is why it becomes an obsession.
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For me, when writing, the Ascendent is a few things:
An intensification of vampirism in a different, fucked-up direction. Yeah, A!Astarion, you can walk in sunlight and you can eat and drink and don't need blood. But you are still a hungering maw of emptiness that feels like it will never be whole or close and connected to the living - just now in a wildly different, metaphysical/existential direction! Welcome to depression, alienation, and otherness!
A soulless being, that knows it is soulless - that initially was very happy with its life but then as the years passed, increasingly spends its every waking moment knowing there is something innately wrong with it that it can't seem to shake, no matter how much it engages with life and all the pleasures of life. (see the 'every meal without savour' speech)
A magically literal metaphor for Astarion's dissociation in moments of extreme trauma, up to and including the fight with Cazador - essentially, the moments when there is nothing but a performance or an exterior, because the self/soul are suffering and they cant' come to phone right now
Astarion's survival instinct. As I say in Chapter 23 - Mephistopheles thinks it is an empty body, who's performance is trying to deny the reality of it's own existence. Rosalie, who has a bit more understanding of Astarion, sees that the performance is not just a coping mechanism but one of Astarion's main modes of survival. The Ascendent is Astarion's survival instinct/techniques for endurance, without any soul or person behind them to protect. This is how I tried to tie in the flirty, hypersexual persona and wrap it with a bow.
I wanted a monster that was undeniably scary, and monstrous to me (oh? you can't fit in or be happy no matter what you do and no matter how hard you try, and you think there's something intrinsically off? how's that autism diagnosis going Emma) but that I also felt sympathy and true sorrow for. I needed to have motivations for him chasing after Tav that I could write meaningfully from and sympathise with.
Not only has Astarion used Tav as a life-raft once before, they've also proven to be the most secure thing he's ever clung to. Of course a rabid survival instinct Astarion would become obsessed, and see them as a potential solution to the problem (this was then intensified by Rosalie also being a walking, overbearing moral compass, and having bound him in a contract in the first week of living, accidentally - a lawful good immoveable objects meets a default moral alignment unstoppable force.)
...Because I also wanted that moral alignment spice!! Wizards of the Coast, default moral alignment is fucked up actually!!! Imagine something trying so desperately to be good - literally being bound in a pact and having been told to be good - but the laws of the universe and its very essence are like "nah mate, we kind of want to destroy and annihilate everything, we're neutral evil personified". That's scary!! that's fucked up!! that's what a birth from 7000 deaths gets you!!!
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So, now for the actual timeline, for people who aren't interested in my silly musings but mostly just want answers lmfao.
Rosalie makes the decision not to intervene in Cazador's mansion, making it seem like she'll support whatever decision Astarion will make there.
Rite of Profane Ascension happens. Astarion conducts the ritual, rips his own soul from his body, the Ascendent is born with literally zero context. Mephistopheles is fucked in Cania, because a bunch of stuff has just gone wrong.
(oh, by the way, the Ascendent knows Infernal as a default language. Bc it's born from an Infernal rite.)
The Ascendent is now default neutral evil, and feeling some kind of way. Rosalie and him break up. He's supposed to have everything, but the one thing he thought was a done deal - his most stalwart suppporter - just rejected him.
Netherbrain defeat (the Ascendent is not invited. Imagine being an all-powerful, hypersexual survival instinct vampire, and your ex-girlfriend neither wants you for sex, nor your power.)
Rosalie accidentally binds the Ascendent (a soulless devil) in a pact demanding that he never kill anyone, when that's literally what the Ascendent's new existence/new default moral alignment is driving him to do. Then, she fucks off and goes into hiding.
Well. The Ascendent can just get another wizard, to help him learn all of Cazador's secrets to cope [Hemlock is recruited].
The years go by! The Ascendent is doing sooooo well. Everything is great, guys! I'm rich, I'm beautiful, I have lavish parties and lots of sex - why do I feel nothing? I'm a vampire perfected - I have no hunger for blood, I can walk in the sun, I can enjoy all the freedoms of a living, breathing man - why do I feel like I'm starving? Why does everything turn to ashes in my mouth? I have friends - oops, I've sabotaged all those friendships with my innate neutral evil destruction. Why can't I feel anything? What's wrong with me? I'm doing everything right? Why doesn't it feel that way?
Also, I can't kill anything to feel better about it, because my hidden ex-girlfriend bound me in a pact.
In this time, to reflect the gradual degradation of the Ascendent's happiness and it's increasing awareness that it is something Other and innately wrong, the reflection starts going weird. Starts going strange. Starts getting a bit fucked up. Almost as if, when he looks in the mirror and sees a person, *nothing* should be what's there. Imagine being a spawn who couldn't see your reflection, and then a vampire who could see it's reflection, but knows that they're innately empty. Knows there's nothing there. I'd freak out a little bit about it as well tbh, I'd go a bit tooth and claw and elongated jaw about it.
The Ascendent finally admits that's there must be something kinda fucked about it. Life just ain't working out, lads. He starts looking for any and all impossible cures that will help with the malaise in his soul (and that innate essence problem, caused by default moral alignment). These include: more bad decisions, such as a house in Cania bc the Ascendent is hoping he'll feel more at home with devils than he does with mortals. All it does is make him feel more isolated and alone.
But eventually, he settles on two things! - Wish (Hemlock's idea), and Rosalie (the Ascendent's idea). Clearly, we just need Rosalie back! Her leaving is actually what fucked him up in the first place - none of this existential bullshit! She fixed us one, she can fix us again.
But looking for Rosalie hasn't worked out. In order to get a shot at her, the Ascendent goes and bargains for his own soul from Mephistopheles. Mephistopheles, adding a new sheet in excel titled 'what the fuck happens when i give this soulless monster a soul to play with?', agrees and starts tracking his new data.
Obviously, just putting the soul back in yourself will fix you. But the Ascendent, the nothingness living inside Astarion's body, will die. Taking the soul back would erase itself. The Ascendent - who is survival instinct personified - would never do this.
So instead, it starts interviewing and cannibalising the soul. Bc a soul is what it needs, this is the closest it's ever felt to being alive. Bc it's made this all about Rosalie, he thinks he's found his solution. The chase is making him feel alive again. It's true love, lads! not the soul.
Wish auction happens - the Ascendent is beaten to the punch by some unknown (hot) wizard.
This avenue cut off, the Ascendent makes the decision to try and win Rosalie back.
Astarion advises that to make her come back to the Gate, he should murder a bunch of people. Because this comes from the soul, not the soulless devil nothingness, it circumvents the pact.
...The events of Pieces begin!
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And finally - the Ascendent tries to destroy Jar!Starion for many reasons in Chapter 19:
The Ascendent knows that it dies, if the soul and the body get reunited (or is that constant high alert survival instinct just no longer needed, because the problem is fixed? you decide.)
The Ascendent values Tav above itself. Tav is going to fix them. Astarion believes he could never fix himself.
Dissociation - that soul isn't me. I'm here, looking at my soul. If I get too close, it'll kill me.
Self-hatred - that soul isn't me. That man made a mistake, and I've had to live with the consequences. He doesn't deserve to live, for what he's made me become.
The knowledge that Rosalie/Tav will only ever want that version of him, not the one that's living and breathing, that sees itself as the most wretched, fucked-up version of itself. So... give them no choice. They have to deal with me and love me at my worst.
And if the Rite didn't work - if the version of the Ascendent walking around isn't the best one, and the one people want... what was it all for? Why does the Ascendent feel like this? Why does it have to suffer?
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....And, that's my little meta post! If anyone has any questions about the timeline or any motivations at any points in the fic, I'm obviously more than happy to explain things via ask/comment, as always!
TLDR: I just wanted to make a Gothic horror. I wanted a dark romance, fucked up obsession vampire/mortal dynamic, but I also wanted a situation that was scary for both Astarion and my Tav. I personally think an Astarion who is so dissociated and separate from reality that he feels that in his bones daily, is scary. It's the lingering impact of the traumas the Rite and those 7,000 souls embodied.
I was literally just trying to make it a horror, for everyone involved.
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nereidprinc3ss · 2 days
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BESTIE. I was just casually thinking about your whole dybmn series and now I’m wondering, as both reader and Spencer become more confident with their spicy dynamics, what kind of lover would Spencer become with her? New k!nks, maybe?, I JUST genuinely think that Spencer is so whipped for her that he would definitely use toys and anything else, not only to experiment but to get to know and find out about all of her secret facets.
I believe she would be his “creation” like he would be so proud to see her development in her confidence in spicy times like smirking all over as she does anything to please him and he’d be like “yeah, I created that” because I’M BITING MY PILLOW RIGHT NOW and gonna dig up a hole after this to hide myself because my thoughts are so hideous. Girlie, what did you do to me? I wasn’t like this. 😩
oh let’s discuss
18+ long ass rambling and things i think about A Lot ……..
in my opinion (which is not the end all be all everyone can perceive them however they’d like) reader and spencer definitely bring out more sexually adventurous sides of each other like they just have a shit ton of chemistry and for a while ithink spencer would just be easing reader into sexuality so nothing that crazy would happen aside from the power dynamics we see pretty much from the start. i think those would definitely get stronger and occasionally more variable. im not usually into sub!spence but i think there would be times he would definitely allow reader to have more control (i don’t ever think he’d be like calling them mommy lmfao) but aside from that i could also see him veering VERY rarely in a slightly harder!dom direction. like he’ll never hurt or seriously degrade you but in p3 reader says something about liking it when he acts like they belong to him and he was really into that. as the relationship progresses i think he would almost start taking more ownership of r’s body in a way, like obviously nothing is ever nonconsensual but he just knows you so well that it’s like… well he knows you better than you know yourself sooo you let him call the shots, but at his core i think spencer is forever oriented to please. he just wants to make you feel good, that’s always gonna be his goal, so he’s always going to listen and even if the power dynamic is weighed in his favor you are actually always the one in control bc he’d do anything for u lol
in terms of kinks…. idk, i never really see spencer as a super kinky guy? like he just knows too much about paraphilia and obviously sexual violence ties into a lot of his job so i sincerely doubt he’d find giving or receiving pain arousing beyond like slapping your ass or you scratching his back or whatever. love is always at the heart of sex for him and that’s going to be the most important part, he’ll never be able to see you just as a body. he’ll always see you as the person he’s in love with and there are things he’s simply not willing to do to the person he loves.
because of his trauma he’s super duper hesitant about bondage BUT i think he wouldn’t be completely opposed to very light restraints on you or him, he’d just have to be in a specific mood. i also never see him as being someone who’s super into toys because he’s such a luddite, he can barely stand having an email i doubt he’s going to have an extensive collection of sex toys. but he would so use your vibrator on you or make you use it on yourself in front of him again if he’s in a very specific mood
oh but YES he DELIGHTS in having defiled and corrupted you. idc idc im not accepting criticism on this. like he spoils you so much that you’re used to getting him whenever you want and so you’re not very subtle about it. if you get all needy in public and start draping yourself all over him and giving him looks and pulling on his sleeve because you want to go home he’ll fuck you in rossi’s bathroom because he wants to encourage your lewd behavior.
obviously he has boundaries tho and he has respect for you and the people around him like he won’t do anything that draws attention and he’ll only ever do things he knows he can get away with without anyone else noticing
later seasons spence also LOVES when you leave marks on him he thinks it’s cute how you mark your territory and he’s not at all embarrassed if there is a hickey above his collar at work. in his mind it’s like. why would he care about other peoples opinions on his sex life when they have nothing to do with it god i think about this all the time
anyway im sorry if this was disappointing😭 idkidk, thank you for asking about my thoughts tho bc i am always down for headcanons
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Cookies and Brownies - Gaz x Reader
Content Warnings - Fluff with some very, very minor angst.
Series Masterlist
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Normally, Gaz did not find leaving his flat so difficult. Usually he was already gnawing at the bit to get back onto the field from his mandatory leave, to get back to doing something instead of lying around. Well now he had a reason to want to stay, for the person next door who also happens to work at his favorite bakery/cafe.
There is something cruel about that, ironically cruel. Gaz has never had any trouble getting people to come home with him, sometimes he didn’t even need to put on any of his charm. But he knows it was because of his looks, charming like a prince in a fairytale. Was it the military lifestyle? Was that why he found it so hard to keep people around him and wanting him? Maybe.
But you, you were different. You didn’t see his return to the military as a goodbye, closing your door on whatever is happening between the two of you. No, you worked out a solution in mere seconds. Gift packages, he’d seen some men he’s worked with before get them. Packages usually from loved ones, like family or partners. Sometimes from friends. Gaz hadn’t gotten one since his early days, back when his grandmother was still around. God rest her soul.
It’s two weeks later, two weeks into being at this base in this fucking desert that the package arrives. His name is called out alongside others and he is handed a package, it has several postmarks slapped onto it with your handwriting on the box for the address.
His stomach twists at the sight of your handwriting, how is that possible? How can he feel that way over handwriting? It’s not just anyone’s handwriting, Gaz thought, it's yours. Distinctly and completely yours. Something no other person could replicate, just you.
Gaz waits until he’s in his tent, empty thankfully, to cut open the package. Inside there is a letter on top of several tins that his mind immediately thinks are sewing supplies until he connects the dots. He opens the letter first, imagining his grandmother slapping the back of his head for being rude and going for the gifts first.
More of your handwriting, his heart pounds as he reads through the letter. He can’t help but rub his thumb over where you wrote his name. Kyle. His real name, not a call sign given to him years ago. Kyle Garrick.
Kyle opens the first tin and finds it filled to the brim with chocolate chip cookies. It dawns on Kyle then that there are four tins, which means lots of baked goods. He licks his lips as he pulls out the other tins and opens them, just to know which one’s hold which.
There is another tin of cookies, white macadamia nut and two tins of brownies. One looks like the classic kind and the other filled with cookie-brownies. He feels like a wolf staring down prey, unguarded sheep ready to be eaten. Before he digs in, he puts the tins away and rips a piece of paper from his notebook and writes.
Dear Kyle,
Hello! I hope the package found you alright and that I had added enough postmarks for it to make the journey. I hope you’re still at base and not somewhere fighting bad guys haha. Things here have seriously slowed down or maybe its because our best customer isn’t currently here. I made some cookies and brownies although they might be stale. If they are, I’m sorry but I’m not sure how to stop that from happening. Do you have any kind of favorite candies? If you send me a letter with your favorites I’ll be sure to include it in the next batch, maybe even bake it into the cookies.
It’s been raining impossibly often but according to Mrs. Thompson its that time of the year. Is that true or is she trying to keep me from rightfully complaining about not seeing the sun in a week? Why is it that when you left the sun decided to hide behind rain clouds? Do you have some kind of deal worked out with the weather? If so, let me in on it, there’s only so much rain a person can handle. Well, I don’t want to hold you up. Enjoy the likely stale cookies and brownies.
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greenerteacups · 3 days
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Would LOVE to hear more re: Lily Evans as the bolter of you want to share more about that idea
Ogh god I have So Many thoughts about Lily and the Marauders in general because I had to basically do a full outline of the Backstory in order to have context for the living Marauders' backstories, but here is my official Harry's Mom Was A Player dissertation:
I like the idea that Lily grows up with relatively few people around (we only see her with Petunia and Snape, which you could read as a function of Snape's perspective, but I prefer to read it as Lily and Snape being "those weirdos in the corner of the playground making Potion in the dirt" buddies). From that, she becomes pretty closed-off emotionally, and despite having general charisma and kindness, she's pretty hard to connect with. Nice, but a little brusque. She's glad to help you with your homework, but when you invite her to Hogsmeade, she'll smile and make a vague excuse, and you'll never hang out again.
This would also explain why she and Snape remain friends for five years, despite being in different houses and having a lot of political differences: he's one of the few people she's vulnerable with. So we're picturing this Lily who's beautiful, charismatic, clever, but also very closed-off and hard to find. I.e. 100% the kind of person who attracts a lot of admirers, but doesn't actually get close to any of them.
My headcanon for her is a long series of two-month relationships running from around fifth year through sixth, none of them very intense, and petering out around the time that the other person starts asking for labels or commitment. Because (a) she's Busy, but (b) she's not really comfortable with any of them. And so she gets a bit of a (slightly mistaken) reputation as an ice queen.
We know Lily and James started dating in seventh year, after he "stopped being an asshole." ACCORDING TO SIRIUS. This is his account of his best friend's love story. A lot of the read here turns on (1) how much you think James told Sirius about him and Lily, and (2) how much of that Sirius wants Harry to know, as someone trying to protect James's memory.
"He was a cad" is obvious big James energy, especially since we know (1) he's an unserious arrogant jock for most of his Hogwarts career, and (2) she would have absolutely no reason to take him seriously if he expressed interest in her, because — he's a dumb kid! And a bully, from her point of view.
Because they're not close, verging on antagonistic, I tend to think that his interest in her actually was superficial to start with — based on her looks or her reputation (or both). Which, of course, plays right into her issues with intimacy and not being really Seen by anyone. And the ritualized game of his pursuit only contributes to her disbelief in its sincerity.
So basically, by seventh year, you have these two incredibly desirable, successful, popular people who are both in fact really locked-up and struggle with sincerity, but have the beginning of real feelings for each other, and are freaking out about that.
And then you get a great Player4Player love story about intimacy and the mortifying ordeal of being known.
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themindarchive · 2 days
Text
Lost Son of Mystra Au
What if, in order to prevent Karsus's folly from happening again, Mystra created a failsafe?
What if that failsafe was to craft a daughter, built from her essence, that acted as a weave energy generator so that magic will never be lost again?
But, what if, in a similar manner to what Gale did, she asked for a way to prove she wasnt just some battery but could be useful in other ways on the material plane?
What if, unlike with Gale, she relented and used a piece of the karnite weave to make a regulator so her magic wouldnt go out of control with no way to purge the acess magic she would generate on the material plane?
What if that regulator, was the orb?
And What if, her task was to bring her young talented wizards to make her chosen?
What if during this task she foudn that there were many areas that didn't take a woman seriously or were downright dangerous for a woman alone and so she used her magic to disguise herself as a man?
What if, after she began traveling as a man, she found she never wanted to go back?And in his first act of rebellion, he made it so he would never have to again?
What if this was what began the rift between mother and child that would grow wider and wider as he see's what she does to the boys he brings to her?
What if, the last boy he brings her is Elminster, whom he trains to be able to resist her influence so he can keep from getting used up and destroyed like the others before him?
Of course, when she finds out, she gets angry and demands that her daughter to do as she is told.
And He tells her to go fuck herself.
So, she violently removes the orb form his body and casts him away as punishment, effectivly making him for all intents and purposes a energy generator with nowhere for the energy to go until it bursts out of him. In sometimes brutal and devastating ways. (Wild Magic Sorceror on steroids)
So, in retaliation and guilt, he conspires and to some extent suceeds in warning others about what happens to the young wizards his mother casts her eyes on. (Think mincs story from his homeland.)
And then, one day, while working in Waterdeep as a traveling enchanter, he meets a young boy who talks his ear off about magic and all the spells he has been able to cast and comauns that his parents wouldnt let him have a kitten as a familiar.
So, feeling the strong connectuon the kid has with the weave already, he teached him how to summon one, culminating in him meeting his new tressym the very next day.
Then, as he is talking to him and his new friend, he feels his mothers eyes fall on the boy and not a few days later see's Elminster arrive in the city and leave with the boy.
So, he follows them, in an attempt to keep the boy from his mother and gets into a heated fight with Elminster while they belive the boy is asleep in his tent.
However part way through the fight, he is forced to flee because he could feel the magic burst coming, having to get as far away as possible to keep from hurting them.
He ends up having a burst so bad it renders him unconcious in the Astral for several years.
But, what if, unbenownst to the two men, the boy hadn't been asleep at all and saw the whole thing, always wondering why the kind street enchanter that always listned to his stories was trying to keep him from what everyone seemed so happy about?
What if, even after the boy eventually became Gale the Wizard of Waterdeep, that that night still popped into his mind on occasion and made him wonder...whatever happened to that man and why was he so adamant about him not serving Mystra?
Then, what if, in a similar way to Mystra's lost son, Gale wanted to prove himself worthy of being her equal and learned of a piece of the weave sealed away?
And what if, only too late, he now understood why that man was trying had tried to keep him away from her?
After he is cast out however, Elminster, against Mystra's orders, told her son about what happened to the orb, causing him to seek out the human man who was now cursed with it.
Only, just before they would have met, the illithid ship shows up and they both get taken.
When they join together, only he recognizes the boy, now a very attractive man named Gale of Waterdeep, as the one he tried to save and knows exactly what his mother did to him. So to make up for it he does everyhting he can to help him with the orb now bound in his chest.
Luckily, despite the often deep seated rivalry that happens between wizards and sorcerors, the two get along very well making it all the easier to help him and for both men to start to fall for each other.
But, after the orb starts to show signs of the magic items no longer working, Mystra's son finds he isn't able to discharge the extra magic in his system like usual and finds himself on the verge of a very bad burst that wraps him in a violent shield of volitile magic that is about to explode.
As this happens the orb responds tapping into Gale on an instinctual level traching him exactly what he needs to do.
With knowledge in hand he charges forward, through the field, dropping to his knees in front of him, grabs his hand a presses it against the orb in his chest, then pulls him inti a tight embrace.
Immedietly the magic begins to be sucked in causing both men to cling to eachother for dear life.
Unfortunately though, the tadpole takes the oppurtunity to snitch on him and reveals who he is to Gale, much to his frustration.
The orb's hunger rapidly dissipates and for the first time in a long while, it feels completly sated. Where the pressure that seems to always be under Mystra's son's skin recedes completly, causing him to weep for several minutes.
Afterward They have a long talk and arrange a system to keep both of them stable.
But due to the often close quarters nature of it, there feelings for eachother only grow stronger and harder to ignore. Culmminating in a very spicy makeout session at the celebration party that gets interuppted by a pair of drunken tieflings.
However, later on when Elminster appears to tell Gale what Mystra wants from him, he also tells Mystra's son, in cryptic language and facial expressions, the reason she is taking drastic measures.
He also brings with him an amulet that will channel the extra weave energy back into the weavw itself so he doesnt ha e to worrt about having another bad burst again.
Now stable, both men take advantage of what time they have left, but come morning post nut clarity kicks in and he wakes up the entire camp shouting: "It's the fucking Crown!"
Now knowing what his mother is up to he spends the rest of the game loving the shit out of his wizard and planning to use the crown as leverage to free both of them from thier conditions.
A deal that culminates in him giving the crown back to his mother in exchange for the orb to be removed from Gale and placed back in him, but at the cost of him becoming completly mortal.
And so, the two men live out the rest of thier lives together, perishing side by side as the orb destructs far away from.any known civilization.
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tfc-does-arts · 5 hours
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Updated Anthro designs! Still not too sure about Saint... but the rest, I'm very proud of! Details about them, and a full line-up will be under the cut!
Also I see some of you, curious about what's up with Monk: and here's your answer: Monk is also Nightcat here! I made these designs before the Watcher was revealed. Also, I promised myself I'd hold back on making a Watcher design until we see their powers.
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MONK - He/They
16 years old
Little Brother to Survivor, of course. Gourmand is their Auntie!
Aroace
Transes this little guy's gender.
Aside from being quiet, they're just a sweet lil guy.
They have some pet lizards... one of which is a red lizard named Jewel.
The bag contains snacks!
SURVIVOR - They/them
22 years old
Older sibling to Monk, of course.
Panromantic asexual
Sees a lot of themself in Big Sister Moon... often just sits with her to vibe.
Dating a scavenger named Blue! Only Blue is allowed to use she/her with them.
Found two slugpups while wandering with Blue, and is taking care of them, with Auntie Gourmand's help.
HUNTER - She/it
24 years old
After making it back to No Significant Harassment, Sig realized that Hunter was so fast that they could remove the rot before it became too late.
Lesbian
Why are its legs plantigrade? Well, she was a test tube baby!
Can't really talk, an unlucky strike from a scavenger cut her throat.
It knows sign language though, and have lengthy conversations with Spearmaster, who's like family to her.
Wants to help Five Pebbles out.
GOURMAND - She/her
38 years old
Aunt to Monk and Survivor
Bisexual
INCREDIBLY good at cooking. Can turn basically anything into a meal that can fill you for a while.
Dating Artificer, helping her heal from her deeply broken heart with kindness.
That and she will just hold Arti until she calms down from seeing red.
ARTIFICER - She/her
35 years old
Mother to Bubble and Seafoam, both are deceased.
Lesbian
Gourmand found her about to kill a scavenger. She hadn't even noticed the large slugcat until she was lifted in the air, arms pinned to her sides. Gourmand held on despite all the struggling, giving the scavenger time to escape... but it was only when Arti finally stopped struggling was she set down and talked to.
Under the long clothes, she's underweight.
Nobody really sees her eye underneath her hat... but Gourmand has. It always flusters her when Gourmand compliments her.
She's... hesitant towards slugpups. Her terror of losing her own still sticks with her.
Gourmand helps her a lot... she hopes one day she can repay the kindness she feels as though she does not deserve.
SPEARMASTER - They/it
31 years old
Aroace
Like Hunter, because it was a test tube baby, its legs are plantigrade!
Most messengers have their iterator's insignia on their person. In Spear's case, the amulet on their choker is the symbol of who their creator is.
Working with Hunter and Seven Red Suns to try and help fix Pebbles, or at least get him out of his superstructure before it collapses.... even if it itself is reluctant.
Pretty chatty actually! They and Hunter's conversations can go on for hours.
RIVULET - Any
27 years old
Polyamorous Pansexual
This little guy has been many places, though their favorite places to visit is the region that surrounds the iterator Chasing Wind.
They never stay in one place too long, but they always make sure to visit whenever possible.
Though you see him less than Saint, she's still always willing to tell the latest gossip... Very popular with the Scavenger King's group in the Outer Expanse to learn what scavenger politics are going on.
The only one who knows what Saint is capable of and takes it incredibly seriously.
SAINT - They/them
26 years old...?
Aroace
Quiet. Not mute, just... very quiet. Prefers listening over talking.
Very rarely do they ever show up. But it feels as though they're more... waiting for something.
Really only ever talks to Monk.
Some iterator logs think they saw Saint leaving Sliver of Straw's can... but that's not possible. Saint is still young. Sliver's death happened so many cycles ago....
ENOT/INV/??? - Any
???Adult???
What is even going on with this guy.
Never front facing... somehow.
Hurts for Moon to look at her for too long... other iterators get a malfunction in their systems.
Often found in deep in the Subterranean... most likely getting snatched by Train Lizards.
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ikamigami · 2 days
Note
Oh boy, i would love to, if Everyone in show would go see an professianal Thearpist for once.
Like, i love Earth, she is an amazing person. She is trying her best and It makes it even more Sad. However, Earth´s Theapy session from her not helping and i will explain to you guys my reasson alright? So Earth is very kind and she is polite and open to lisstening to the diffrentent kind of issues, which is fine and already been heard can be enough. The after effect is been how everyone who have doing thearpy session with her, refuse to see other Therapy and completly reliance on her. Earth never been trained to be a thearpist and she can help like a very good friend, but people that been having seriousely issues, for example Monty being abusive at times to Foxy is been overlooked. Sure Monty is doing a bit better, but he can´t doing thearpy with his girlfriend. Monty would never admit beeing awfull. (also even if he would, Earth loves Monty, so she blindly ignore it)
If you even analyse every person in the show who been doing the thearpy session with her, let me ask you something real quick, DOES anyone get better from it? No,... really not a single person.
-Solar? right, he have some seriously issues with his Moon, he killed him and he abandoned his Dimention. He replace his people by moveing on to life in another Dimention, but if i take a guss, he surely just want to fix his place and whatever. He is ignoreing his feelings and be nice to others. It only takes a,...(sun death)... moment and he leaveing everyone behind, cause he have trauma and not talk about himself.
-Lunar thearpy session was also less about him, it was more about Lunar and Earth talking things out. When Lunar had the chance to talk about his problem, he switch back to beening worried over Earth, which is bad, it´s not about her, it was supposted to be over him. They should haveing another thearpy session, The whole Lunar is going to die is ignored with leaving Lunar in the dark. With what is he even suppose to do.
-Moon been worried over Sun drinking problem and Earth overlocked this and claim Sun been alright, is also weard. She is not even concidere it that there is a chance of Sun having more going on. I think Moon been afrait to be Old Moon is also wild. People might should be suggest it, Old Moon IS a part of New Moon. They are the same person and they should try to understand themself more. Even if New Moon would go on with his life without Old moon ever be in it, he should TAKE responsiablty with his old self. If he would try that, Then he would understand his BROTHER way better. (SO yea, it just a way of Moon running away from his issues, cause he did it with 1th Moon too who he rip him a part and claim to be so much diffrent, only to come to the point where he believe he is just as bad as him.) The point is, Moon will allways hurt Sun, because he never learned from his past mistakes, he will even with a 99 prozent possiablity kill himself again and give Sun a new Moon (or leave him and give him Old Moon cause he isn´t as smart as his other self) This is not a question of do you want Old Moon or do you want New Moon? You would want the whole Picture and not half of it.
-Sun is suicide and heave mental issues and experience his Brother been dying and think it was his fault. He have now New Moon, but he surely want that New Moon would remember the past times, the times when Sun and Moon bond,.. the times when they getting clouser and build trust. If you would ask eveyone else like Earth if she would be alright to have a NEW Solar then the answer is NO. So how is she not understanding Sun problem with New Moon? Like not even a little bit. Sun also never got the chance to get in himself and be honnest about Moons abusive behaviour. He can´t tell his Sister of how MUCH he suffer from Moon. Sun is just to much of a Good heart person and don´t want anyone to worried over him. So Sun dig his feelings aside till he one day can´t handle it anymore.
To not makeing it any longer, i leave it to be. What Earth is doing, is not principle wrong, she helped her Family, but she isn´t even going to see herself professional Thearpy. Every Thearpist have to see Thearpy too. People that any of thouse people could see is for Example Golden Freddy, but also some Mother/Father figure yk actuall Parents from Pizzaplex is also a good choice.
You're absolutely right! With everything!
I don't have anything to add to that.. I just simply agree with you.
They all have issues so big to resolve them by talking to their sister who even if has good intentions and wants to help simply can't because she's their sister..
They should go to professional therapist and that's it.
But I think that they won't realize that they need serious help till something really bad happen - Sun's death probably by suicide..
That's what I think that all of this is heading towards.. they all need a wake up call..
Thank you for pointing out all of those things, there are even things that I forgot to mention such as the fact that Earth wouldn't want to have new Solar and yet can't understand that Sun had a hard time to accept New Moon and move on from Old Moon's death..
Thank you so much for this input. This is really important and I hope that many people will see this ^^
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lostfirefly · 3 days
Text
If you sit down with this old clown, take that frown and break it, before the evening's gone away, I think that we could make it
I probably won’t surprise anyone, but the idea came to me in a dream. In it, two girls were sitting at a bar and one of them wanted to meet Buggy (I'm serious!). So welcome to another dream! :) English is not my native language, errors may occur. As always, feel free to share your thoughts :)
Buggy and F/GN Reader - Masterlist is here.
Description: Your sister took you to a bar so she could meet someone. She saw Buggy, but he clearly showed interest in you.
Warnings: Nerd people are mentioned here. I have nothing against people who are passionate about something. The basis is the reaction of people who do not understand other people's hobbies.
Words: 1815
Taglist: @gingernut1314, @operationroots
The title is taken from “I Hope That I Don't Fall in Love With You” by Tom Waits.
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GIF by vinnymauro
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“Why did you bring me here?” You twirled a glass of wine in your hands. 
“Well, because I'm tired of being alone. It's time to get back into the game after we broke up with that asshole.” Your sister leaned back in her chair and scanned the entire room with her eyes. “There are no decent candidates yet.”
“That's all very nice to hear, but why do you need me here?” You took a sip of wine and snacked on cheese. 
“I’m afraid I need a co-pilot, Y/N.” Your sister chuckled and scratched her nose.
“We've been sitting here for two hours and the only options that have come to us are those pot-bellied weirdos over there.” You carefully pointed your little finger at the table where a group of chubby guys in glasses sat, endlessly discussing aliens and yeties. 
“They’re not that weird.” Your sister tilted her head slightly. 
“Not weird? Seriously? One of them came up wearing a t-shirt with the inscription that said “take a ride on my flying saucer.” You laughed. “Sorry, but I didn't sign up for a such kind of date.”
“Well, if there are no other options, I'll choose the one with the Bigfoot t-shirt.” Your sister shrugged and opened new bottle of wine. 
“I'll hope he's not as hairy as his pet on his clothes.” You giggled and poured some wine into your glass. 
“You're such a bitch.” Your sister shook her head and took a piece of cheese.  
Suddenly a loud laughter echoed through the bar. Everyone sitting in the bar instantly turned towards the sound.
“Lord, who is laughing so hard?” You turned around, craning your head. “Apparently that tall guy at the bar.”
“Wow! He’s cute! Why didn't we notice him before?!!” Your sister looked in the same direction. 
“Seriously? Are you sure we're looking at the same guy? Blue hair, red nose, makeup on his face.” You nodded your face towards the guy sitting at the counter. His laughter seemed to shake the walls of the entire establishment.
“Yes. He’s cute!” Your sister kicked your leg under the table. “Go and find out from him whether he’s sitting here with someone or alone.” 
“Why me?” You look at her.  
“You're my co-pilot, Y/N. Or do you want me to start playing the poor abandoned girl card.” Your sister made a sad face. “I might even cry.”
“Okay!” You rolled your eyes. “Fuck. Why is it always me?” 
You muttered under your breath, took a glass, stood up and headed towards. You cleared your throat and gently patted the blue-haired man on the shoulder. “Hey, you. Hello!”  
“What?” He turned sharply and looked you with his green eyes up and down. 
“Nothing. My sister liked you.” You took a sip, realizing that you had said something stupid.
“And what?” The man look at you questionably. 
“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “Go up to her and say hello like all normal people.” 
“No! I’m busy!” He turned around and poured some whiskey. 
“You’re busy? How? What are you doing? You just sit and drink.” You threw up your hands.
“It's called being busy, brownie! Do you see?” He looked at you out of the corner of his eye, grinned and poured himself a glass of whiskey in one gulp. “So, sorry, my love.” 
“Fuck you! Asshole!” You returned to the table, sat down and groaned. 
“So? Will he come? Y/N, please, say he'll come!” Your sister looked at you with hope. “He's so cool when he grumbles.” She smiled slightly.
“No, he won’t. He’s kind of strange, to be honest. He’s sitting there alone, and by the way, he wears more makeup than you and me combined.” You leaned your elbows on the back of the chair and looked towards the bar counter again.
“Y/N, go and ask what he is doing? Maybe he will come..” Your sister took another sip of wine, looked at you with pleading eyes and lightly tapped her palms on the table.
“Why me? You liked him, so you go! You made a hand gesture, sending your sister to the bar.
“I’m shy.” She stared at the table and began to move her finger along the glass. “You’re better at talking than me. Y/N, plee-e-e-a-a-ase!” 
“Why do I always fall for this? Okay! Site here.” You groaned, stood and came to the bar counter. 
You tapped the man on the shoulder. “Hey, you! Hello again!”
“You again?” He looked at you, and it seemed to you for a second that he was glad to see you. “Now what?” 
“Yeah, me. Well... My sister… My sister is still sitting there.” You carefully pointed towards your table. “And still likes you.” 
“And my question is still, “so what?” The man turned to you. 
“Listen, are you always such a rude person?” You squinted your eyes and took a sip. 
“Great!” He laughed loudly. “Your sister is sending you to me, and I’m the rude one in this situation!” 
“Look, okay, I admit it. I'm not very good at being a co-pilot. To be honest, I have no idea how to do this correctly.” Your chuckled. 
“That's noticeable, brownie!” He flicked your nose and winked.
“Is it difficult for you to spare 5 minutes with us? Say hello, say a joke and then say goodbye. Her boyfriend dumped her, by the way. And for some strange reason she liked you.” You softened your voice.  
“Still my answer is no!” The man turned back to the bar.
“Ass!” You muttered under your breath and was about to come back to your sit.  
“Hey, wait!” The man shouted at you. “What's the name?” 
“Whose name? Sister?”
“No! Your. What's your name?” He looked at you and took a sip. 
“Y/N. And you?” You squinted one eye.  
“Buggy.”  
“Well, hi, Buggy.” You smiled slightly. 
“Well, hi, Y/N.” He winked at you again.  
“Won't you come over?” You nodded again towards the table.
“Sorry, brownie, no!” Buggy shook his head and laughed again.  
“Okay!” You exhaled. “Enjoy your drink!”
You returned to the table and shrugged. “I'm a lousy co-pilot, sister. He won't co~.” 
"So, girls.” Suddenly, a white-gloved hand slammed a bottle of whiskey onto the table. “Are we relaxing?" 
“YES!!!” Your sister shouted happily, and immediately covered her mouth with her hand, not expecting such volume from herself. 
“Yes. Relaxing.” You looked at Buggy and quietly whispered “thank you”.
Buggy winked at you again. “I thought I'd rather keep you company than these weirdos in weird t-shirts.” He placed his hand on the back of your chair. “And I’m Buggy, by the way. So. What are you talking about?” 
“About various things.” Your sister said, started twirling her hair on her finger. 
“Come on, brownie... and... well.. brownie’s sister, tell me about yourselves.” Buggy poured himself a glass of whiskey and gently placed his hand on your back. You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye and smiled slightly. 
“Oh, I work at the police station.” Your sister took a sip of the wine without taking her eyes off Buggy. “Well, you know. Administrator. I register cases and everything.”
“Sounds good. What about you, brownie?” Buggy moved his hand over your back a little lower. 
“Nothing to tell, to be honest. I just quit my two jobs, and now I’m celebrating my freedom.” You blushed a little, feeling his hand started stroking your back. 
He took the bottle, turned it over in his hands and smelled it. “You can't celebrate by drinking some crap.” Buggy called the waiter and ordered another bottle of wine. He placed your open bottle on the weirdo’s table. “Guys, this is for you. The best wine in this bar. Enjoy your evening.”  
Buggy chuckled strangely, sat down and moved his chair closer to you. You could smell him, smelling like a mixture of rum and whiskey, and musk.
“Okay, okay.” You glanced at him. “You asked about us. It's our turn! Tell me, what do you do in life?” 
“Me?” He looked at you, pointing his finger at himself. “You don't know who I am?” 
“Sorry, Buggy.” You took his bottle of whiskey and poured some into your glass, squinting your eyes. “But I have no idea who you are.” 
“Na-ah! First, that's my bottle. And I'm gonna get it back.” He smirked and took the bottle from your hands. “Y/N! My brownie, I'm the genius and famous Buggy the Clown!” 
You drank whiskey and choked. “Fuck, it's strong.” You wiped your lips. “Who are you? The clown? From the circus? From the real circus?” You slightly turned your body towards him.
“The realest and greatest circus in the world!” Buggy placed his hand on your waist.  
“So what?” Your sister asked and ran her foot along his leg. “Do you have acrobats, jugglers and mimes there?” 
“Exactly, brownie’s sisters!” Buggy pointed his glass at her. “The best acrobats, the best mimes, the best jugglers! You should go to my show. Especially you, brownie!” He flicked your nose.
“Me?” You tried not to notice his hand on your waist. “Why me? Sorry, Buggy the Clown, I don't like circuses!” 
“You just weren't in my circus, baby!” Buggy winked at you and slowly moved his hand to your hip. 
“Damn, I'm out of whiskey. Waiter. Hey! Are they deaf or something? I'll be right back. Brownie.” He stood up and winked at you. “And.. brownie's sister.”
“How do you do it, Y/N?” Your sister laughed, taking a sip of her wine.
“What am I doing?” You raised one eyebrow.
“I noticed the guy, and he will leave with you. Probably.” Your sister leaned back in her chair and looked around.
“He seems okay. He's even cute.” You shrugged your shoulders and glanced at Buggy, who was actively gesticulating and laughing at the bar counter. “Or maybe he’s flirting with everyone like that.”
"No way! He liked you!" Your sister stuck her tongue out at you.
“Sorry...” You answered sadly.
“Oh, fuck it. He's yours. I'll go meet the yeti.” Your sister took the glass and went to the next table.
“Hey! Where is your sister?” Buggy asked in surprise as he came back.
“She went to see that dude who's wearing a yeti t-shirt. Why are you asking? Miss her?” You immediately straightened your hair, placed your hand on the table and rested your chin on your palm.
“No, brownie. I miss you already.” Buggy plopped down next to you and moved his face close to yours. “So, what are your plans for today?” He stroked your shoulder with his fingers.
You moved even closer to his face and winked. “Buggy the Clown, it seems like you promised to show me your circus. But first…” You carefully ran your finger along his leg. “You will buy me a brownie.”
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shutupineedtothink · 7 months
Text
I’m still s h o o k that people do not see exactly what’s going on with Moiraine throughout s2 and people are dragging her and dismissing her without an ounce of empathy for what she’s been through, so I’m bringing the full character analysis for y’all (and my own sanity). So this is a big ol in defense of Moiraine (and Lan) rant, so if that’s not your thing, scroll down now. Here we go.
I just… The AUDACITY some people have to look at Moiraine and be angry and pissed off at how she acts in S2. To not feel any sympathy and empathy for her and the monumental weight she’s under every goddamn day. There’s a reason we start with that bath scene in 2x01 – it shows you everything. How she’s just going through the motions. How she only lets herself cry when she’s alone in the water. How she literally curls into the fetal position and looks reproachfully devastated over her knees as she hugs them to her chest in a futile attempt at comfort. Not to mention the direct comparison/callback with the bath scene in 1x01, where she has both her power and Lan still, and now she’s lost her connection to both of them.
How is it not painfully obvious that every interaction she has after that bath scene is infused with a trauma response? Let’s tally up the devastation she’s been through. At the end of S1, she was 1. banished from the sisterhood of the white tower (they literally turned their backs on her), 2. was separated AGAIN from the love of her life fully expecting to never see her again, 3. was cut off from the other love of her life (that would be Lan, for the record) which is all the worse bc it’s her own fault for masking the bond, 4. was fully made to believe she’s been stilled from the one power aka an integral part of her being, AND 5. she’s “failed” her mission at the eye of the world – the one goal she’s had for the last 20 years, her life’s purpose – because instead of locking away the dark one she’s directly caused Rand to set Ishamael free.
You don’t think it's justified to be a little pissed off and standoffish after all of that? You don’t think the weight of that guilt, grief, pain, and loss is a reasonable cause to be distant, cold, harsh, having a little bit of a death wish? That’s TRAUMA, baby! She is absolutely wrecked, and it’s coming out in the worst way in her interactions with others (especially Lan because we’ve seen how they should be), but it’s absolutely not because she actively wants to hurt the people around her. In fact after almost every moment she lashes out at someone, we see an equally sad/grief-stricken/devastated moment from her and THAT’S the real emotion hiding underneath the anger. This woman needs therapy and understanding and patience, and does not deserve to be judged at the worst time of her life.
Ok fine, you say, but Lan IS patient and understanding with her! And she’s still an asshole to him! You’re right, Lan is absolutely trying his best and doing just about everything he can to be there for her in 2x01/2x02 (with a little help from Verin and Tomas). But 1. It’s STILL not about him, Moiraine is not obligated to respond in a certain way to her grief and pain that makes him feel better, and 2. This is Moiraine goddamn Damodred and even her trauma response is also a front to protect him, to push him away from her and what is now certainly a suicide mission to fight the dark without her powers.
This is SOOO important to really get Moiraine’s character — y’all gotta understand this: Moiraine truly loves only TWO people on the whole fucking planet: Siuan and Lan. They are also the only people who truly love her, unconditionally, with all of her flaws and imperfections. Please please ingrain that into your brain, especially for Lan, in this context. (Siuan is a whole other conversation I won’t get into at the moment.) Moiraine loves Lan, he loves her, deeply. That’s the foundation of everything they go through with each other in this season, despite what’s happening on the surface.
Once you accept that as fundamental truth, everything makes a whole lot more sense. She is a dick to him to push him away. Literally tells him he failed her to put the final nail in the coffin of driving him away, which is his worst nightmare. On the surface it seems egotistic at best, plain cruel at worst. But look underneath. Moiraine always has reasons 2, 3, 6 layers deep for everything she does.
With everyone else she’s mean to this season, namely her sister and her nephew, it’s born out of distrust (and the aforementioned trauma response). She can’t afford to trust anyone because anyone could be a dark friend. (And if they’re not a dark friend, then they become a liability and endangered.) Anything she lets slip could be used to hurt/control Rand and push them all one step closer to eternal darkness. Oh and when we see Barthanes’ true nature that turns out to be fucking justified, by the way. But I digress.
Right so why is she an asshole to Lan then? Because she doesn’t trust him? I don’t believe that for a second. These two have been on the same page, literally sharing the same headspace, for the last 20 years – she knows he’s the best person she’s ever met, the least likely to ever turn to the dark, ever. It’s an actual impossibility. So it’s not that she doesn’t trust him. She literally marvels at how courageous he must be to fight the dark with only a sword.
The true reason is: she does trust him, she does love him, and she KNOWS him. She knows that he will never leave her like this, in her darkest hour. He is both honor-bound to her (which he takes very seriously) and deeply cares for her. The problem is that now his life is in serious danger by staying with her. But there is no calmly explaining to him that he should return to the white tower for his own good and bond to another aes sedai who can actually channel, who can actually hold up her end of the partnership and protect him and heal him in return for his loyalty and sacrifice. Or better yet, find Nynaeve, who is not only ridiculously powerful and has probably the best chance of protecting him out of anyone, but who also loves him.
If Moiraine loves him and wants him safe, the ONLY option she has to protect him, the one good thing left in her life even if their bond is masked, is to drive him away. To make it so that he’ll stay far away from her of his own free will, and never come after her and her suicide mission to defeat the dark. Because she has already lost everything, she has no control over her fate anymore (if she ever had any to begin with), but the ONE thing she can still try to do is keep him safe. And hopefully, maybe he’ll be happy, one day. Her reasoning is directly confirmed for us in the last thing she says to him in 2x02 before she leaves: “Light protect you, al’Lan Mandragoran.” That was her goal all along, to protect him.
That’s the true reason she’s Like That to him. It’s all out of her love for him, and a desperate desire not to drag him down with her when she’s sure she’s destined to die on this mission. Is her strategy misguided? On the one hand yes, because she does need people to help her and she needs to trust someone, as he points out. On the other hand, she’s absolutely fucking right because look what happened with the Fade fight at the end of 2x01. Both her and Lan would have died without Verin and Tomas, and it would have been because she couldn’t channel. He is factually, logically, physically better off without her as long as she’s “stilled.”
This is why it makes sense how Lan eventually responds the way he does. He initially sees right through what she’s trying to do, he literally says he won’t let her push him away. He knows her too, better than anyone, including Siuan at this point. But he isn’t expecting her to go as far as she does, and it shakes him to his core. She tells him he failed her, has his worst fears confirmed, and then hears the words “we were never equals” and hears that she thinks she’s better than him, when she means the exact opposite. Tomas tells him to really listen but he can’t, in that moment.
But then he gets some distance, and some perspective thanks to Ihvon and Maksim, and he remembers: he loves her. He believes in her and he knows her and he knows what she’s doing to push him away (although maybe not why, when it comes to protecting him, because he doesn’t see himself as someone who needs protecting). Even better, he realizes that her situation is actually not what she thinks, that she’s shielded not stilled, and he can do something about that.
I LOVE Lan in 2x07 because he’s got Moiraine’s number now, and he will not be swayed by any further attempts (rather weak attempts at this point) to lash out at him. He just takes all the shit she throws at him, and calmly asks her what he needs to know and tells her what she needs to hear (“hopefully everything we’ve lost” and “that’s what I thought” and “you need to trust someone, Moiraine”), and is truthful with her even if she is still putting on this act with him in her fear and grief. He isn’t having any of it, he sees straight through it to the fear and pain underneath. And he literally DECIDES they are going to be okay, and then he fucking. Follows. Through.
He is not a doormat to her rage, he is not her servant, he’s not going back to her with his tail between his legs. He SHOWS UP for her in her darkest hour, when NO ONE, not even Siuan, can see what’s going on with her. That’s a true friend, a true hero, and absolute king behavior.
In conclusion, Moiraine’s behavior in s2, while not cute, is totally justified given the trauma, circumstances and everything she’s dealing with (jfc the lack of sleep alone) and makes sense in light of her ultimate goal to protect the world, which includes protecting Lan. And Lan’s response, once he figures out what to do, is the absolute correct way to handle the situation and is not weakness at all but strength in the highest order.
I’m so glad we got the payoff of all that with their conversation in 2x08 and reconnecting the bond. It was so beautiful, so earned, and reminded us of the level they’re on with each other — which is a soul connection way beyond what any of us can imagine.
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daily-hanamura · 7 months
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satsuha · 6 months
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healers
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forestgreenlesbian · 1 month
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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad#we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic#was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though#it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything#also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't#tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer#both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first#time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been#making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said#i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly#implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me#bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication#we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked#& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol#which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't#even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around#a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins#literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww#am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely#concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know
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withoutalice · 3 days
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Guys i normally don't yap about this but i was reminded of it when my bf came over the other day-
He admitted to me that he felt like he was forcing me to be around him (which isn't true - if anything i'm the one who's really forward lol).
And while i believe everyone should be held accountable and that statistics exist - teenage boys are demonized in the school system. They are often collectively punished as a gender through high school (this include FTMs in my experience). The phrase "boys will be boys" is lessening the errors of serious bullies and generalizing a whole group of children of different backgrounds and emotional levels to just one gendered expression.
It just made me very sad that he said he was scared of being perceived as a threat to me (or even accidentally hurting me) because of our difference in stature (a solid one foot height difference 💀). I think it's because of how adults ignore the actual emotional depth of boys (includes FTM!!!) since "they're more simple" or they need to grow up on their own to be a "real man".
All teenagers need guidance. And between Covid isolation to the prevalence of online communities trying to lead young people astray to capitalize off of insecurities and strip them of humanity (look at the language used in self-help programs online - it's blantantly objectifying!) that guidance is needed now more than ever.
Behavior is learned but humanity is innate and needs to be cultivated...
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angorwhosebabyisthis · 4 months
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one thing i was not prepared for when i started this rewatch of sdmi has been for it to finally sink in how absolutely heartbreaking daphne's whole deal is. this poor kid, man
#sdmi#scooby doo: mystery incorporated#daphne blake#abused kid with zero self-worth: casually; gruesomely self-harms in the *second episode* unprompted to get an extra clue#me: 😰😰😰😰#someone help her please actually god#i know it tends to get overshadowed by people being annoyed by the Obnoxious Het Teen Drama and all; and i get it#but like. that's a major manifestation of her *larger* deep-running issues; sexism and misogyny have shaped how she tries to deal with them#and it kind of sits less and less right with me these days that of her and fred#she's the one whose issues get dismissed and ignored with 'i don't care about boring hets so i'm not gonna bother 🙄'#whereas fred's issues which his involvement in that subplot are an expression of get explored and taken seriously#and treated as Tragic Best Boy Protect Him#(which by itself i don't have a problem with! he is very dubious and fucked up but he's also really tragic and likable)#especially since he's a *catalyst for or outright cause of* a lot of the heartbreaking stuff that happens with her in the series#i understand he has issues of his own and the misogyny is a manifestation of his own abuse history; that toxic masculinity has harmed him#but it is a plain and simple fact that he is a misogynistic abuser toward daphne in sdmi. like. he just is. that's a thing#and i think it is. revealing. that of the characters involved in the Annoying Het Subplot(tm)#it's the man who is a perpetrator of misogyny who's considered Worth Exploring the Tragedy of Despite the Annoying Het Subplot#and the girl who is a victim of misogyny; in ways her entire life is shaped by and suffocated in; is fair game to ignore the tragedy of#and the way the most i have ever seen her get in the show or otherwise on that front is#She Deserves a Better Boyfriend and to Be Confident in Herself Hell Yeah Girl Power#and not 'the way this kid's parents talk to her in the car outside the college is a punch in the gut to watch'#........bothers me. it bothers me.#anyway#misogyny cw#abuse mention cw#abuse apologism cw#self-harm cw#SDMItag
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