#but my partner? they have a bazillion things that would make them happy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

trashcatsnark · 4 years

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6, 8 - Dahlia 10, 13 - Tsuneko and Mamoru

You didn’t specify SFW or NSFW. So, I do Both

SFW Dahlia and Seeds

6. Going out to eat: Who pays? Who orders the most food? And who has dessert?

answered here

8. Who knows how to swim? Who doesn’t?

I feel like Dahlia and all the Seeds know how to swim. Dahlia grew up in very southern Louisiana, like heel of the boot, so she wasn’t ever far from a beach. She doesn’t remember clearly, unfortunately, but in her little jewelry box of memories and mementos is a photo of her at the beach with her dad and mom when she was a toddler in little floaty wings.

The brothers learned how to swim early, I feel like Jacob and Joseph were probably taught by Old Man Seed in the throw the kid and the lake and see if they come back up for air kind of way, unfortunately. But they made sure to be the ones to teach John properly. During their time with the farm foster home, Jacob found a creek he’d found and sneak his two brother away to spend the day playing in the water. There was always hell to catch when they came back, but it’s good memories of the few moments they got to be kids. So, each of the brothers still have fond memories of swimming. John when he was with the Duncans also got to enjoy bougie indoor pools, but he’d take a dirty creek swimming with his brothers over that any day.

Growing up in Hope County, Faith/Rachel also learned how to swim early on. There’s not exactly a lot to do in Hope County as a kid and there’s lots of water, so fishing and swimming were both pretty big and she doesn’t like fishing. As she got older her and Tracey would often go swimming in the lakes late at night to just kind of get away from everything.

SFW Tsuneko and Mamoru

10. Any pets? Or plants?

Yes! Tsuneko has a pet ferret named Kiyohito, Kiyo to his friends which is everyone. The little guy is always getting into trouble, but he loves cuddling with Mamo when he moves in, Kiyo basically sees Mamoru as a giant bed. They do not have plants though, unless they’re the plastic kind. While Tsuneko is a fantastic pet mom, she cannot take care of plants to save her life. She doesn’t know what it is, but it’s just not worth it. Mamoru is...well Mamoru, he can’t take care of himself let alone a plant.

13. Who stays up late? Who sleeps the most? Does the other have to force them to sleep/wake up?

Tsuneko stays up way later than Mamoru, she generally before him has a lot of issues sleeping. Though, he has his own issues. Because she doesn’t get much sleep and has nightmares. Mamoru sleeps a lot, but it’s rarely quality sleep, he wakes up and he just still feels tired. This lessens more when they actually live together, because Mamo and Tsun find that they both get better sleep when they’re together. So, he starts dragging her to bed even when she’s trying to stay up to do one of the bazillion things she claims she needs to do. So, eventually their schedules sync up more and more. He forces her to go to sleep and she forces him to wake up, both act annoyed but love it.

NSFW ASKS UNDER CUT (CAUSE I A RAMBLY BITCH)

NSFW Dahlia & Seeds

6. Dom/top? Sub/bottom? Any switches?

Dahlia is a technical switch with a heavy lean towards sub/bottom. She can get pleasure and satisfaction from either, she likes to do what makes her partner happy. However, her lack of experience, tends to slot her in the sub/bottom role because well, she’d like to do what makes them happy but doesn’t know what would do that. She also...just kinda likes being manhandled a lot. But, she’d be lying if she said being able to dom one of the bros who’re physically bigger and stronger than her isn’t kind of a rush. As a bottom/sub she also tends to be the uh, bratty variety, mouthy, generally has to be a pain in the ass.

Jacob is dom and top, 99.9% of the time, he just likes feeling in control, feeling powerful. That being said, he doesn’t like an easy win, so to speak. He likes that back and forth sort of power struggle/battle for dominance during sex. He likes to feel like he’s more than earned being the one in control, so, he’s more than okay with Dahlia’s more bratty tendencies. He also like feeling his partner is strong and capable in their own right, even if he’s taking control in the end. When he does let Dahlia do any kind of domming/topping, it’s usually offered almost condescendingly or like a challenge, like oh, i’d like to see you even try, pup

John is described in game as a sadomasochist, meaning he can find pleasure in both giving and receiving pain. So, I’d say that places him in the switch category, he definitely can and does get pleasure from being dommed and topped, with Dahlia it makes him feel wanted and desired. But, I will say i feel he still goes more into top/dom territory, he leans that direction a bit more. Again, due to Dahlia’s inexperience, the Seeds taking control is just kind of natural, but also he’s really clingy and needy, so he tends to initiate and steer the direction of it more.

Of the Seeds, I feel like Joseph leans the most towards bottom/sub as any other of them. Though, I would still classify him as kind of a service top, I guess. His main focus is on making Dahlia feel good, he wants his partner to feel loved and cared for. He’s the one in control, but it’s all focused on servicing her and making her feel good. He also is very interested in bottoming in traditional ways, Joseph wants to be pegged, you can’t change my mind because it makes him feel loved and wanted as well, he wants to give his absolute all to her, in any, way, shape, or form she’ll take him

Faith is dom/top, most dominant of the Seeds after Jacob. She’s dealt with a lot of feelings of powerlessness over her life, struggling with being underestimated due to her appearance. So, sex is a really nice place for her to be dominant and feel that control. She likes being able to lead things and see the effect she has on Dahlia, whether that’s more soft version of it, massages that lead to pinning Dahlia’s hips down while she plays with her, or more rough, sitting on Dahlia’s face type stuff.

8. Favourite erogenous zones?

As I’ve said a lot, Dahlia doesn’t have much (any) experience before the Seeds in any universe so, I would say, i thinks she’s genuinely surprised by how much she likes having her ass groped. Like I said, she very much finds out that she likes being groped and manhandled. Like, just one of them reaching over and grabbing a handful of her ass sends her reeling. On a softer note, she also really is into having her hair played with, not pulled, but stroked, ruffled, petted. It just makes her melt and become putty in their arms.

As weird as it may sound, I think Jacob really likes when Dahlia strokes over his scars and kisses them. She doesn’t ever really point out or talk about his scarring, for a long time it’s always genuinely felt like she just didn’t notice or care. The only time she ever really has said anything is once asking if they still hurt and it was clear she was just concerned for him. He doesn’t consider himself insecure, but he knows the effect his scars have on how some people see him. So when she kisses and strokes them like she would any other part of him, it makes him happy. Other than that, Dahlia likes to tease him about his ears, calling them dumbo ears and wiggling them while telling him to fly away. He glares and calls her a nuisance, but it’s cute and maybe he kisses her a little harder than necessary right after.

John’s found he really likes having his throat/neck kissed and bitten. Dahlia has kinda prominent canines, so when she gets into sucking and biting at his neck, she leaves a lot of marks. And he loves it. He could just lounge back, with his head tilted back and baring his throat to her for hours as she sat in his lap and covered him in marks. Otherwise, he really likes having his fingers in her mouth too, something about it just gets him riled up when she licks and sucks around the digits. Not only the suggestion of something dirtier, but having her love and desire him enough to worship even small parts of him.

Joseph, kinda like Dahlia, has his hair as an erogenous zone for him in a way. But, not only does he like the gentler aspect, of having his hair stroked and played with. But unlike Dahlia he is completely okay with her pulling his hair. He likes her taking her pleasure from him, as he puts it. He likes her wanting him and being needed, that harsh pull of his hair just shows how much she needs him. Also gonna make you go bald quicker Joseph, but whatever His other erogenous zone that he loves, that he feels dirty admitting is when she kisses around his hips/belt line, just beneath his LUST scar. There’s just something about her looking up at him, as she kisses him there, with that sin plastered just above her lips.

Faith has very sensitive breasts, she loves when Dahlia laves attention there, kissing and sucking, leaving marks across them. Even little things like when Dahlia just wants to nuzzle her face against Faith’s chest, deciding she prefer the plush of Faith’s breast to the brother’s more muscled chests. She just help but excited and wanna hold Dahlia there forever. Another slightly more innocent erogenous zone she has is her back. She likes giving and receiving massages a lot. The first time Dahlia gave her a back massage, it was meh, inexperience making a difference. But Dahlia is a quick and eager learner, the more she learns about Faith’s body, where to rub and press, the more those massages take a dirty turn.

NSFW Tsuneko and Mamoru

10. First to orgasm? Last to orgasm? Who comes the most? Does someone ever end up unfinished?

Assuming it’s sex in which they’re both being stimulated, Tsuneko will cum first. Counting foreplay, technically Mamo cums first usually from her blowing him, stroking him off, etc. Because she knows she’s on the more uh sensitive side, so she likes to make sure he cums before so they’re at least a little more close to even. Last to cum usually depends on if he cums inside of her, if he cums inside of her that’s usually enough to force her into another orgasm. If he’s using a condom or pulls out, he’s the last to cum. Not really, they both wouldn’t be happy leaving the other unsatisfied. The closest to that they ever get is if Mamoru did something to piss her off and then tries to initiate sex before apologizing, than he gets the no, you sit there with your blue balls and think about what you did, treatment.

13. Who’s loud? Who’s quiet? Does one try to make the other louder/quieter? How?

Tsuneko is a whimpery, whining, squealing mess. Mamoru is more of a dirty talk and grunter, getting a bit more loud and cursing as he gets closer to his end. Mamoru is an asshole who loves hearing the noises she makes so when they’re in a nice private place, his apartment, hers, or eventually their shared home. He’s excited to make her extra noisy. This can be just by doing things he knows she loves as he learns more and more of what makes her tick. This could also be him maneuvering her in ways where she can’t cover her mouth or bite down on his shoulder to suppress her noises, something she usually tries to do. But, if he’s trying to get a little handsy in a riskier spot, he’s instead trying to keep her quiet, cause while he likes a bit of risk. He does not want anyone hearing those noises but him.

#fc5 #far cry 5 #kbtbb #kissed by the baddest bidder #dahlia hale #tsuneko tomori #some day I will be concise #today is not that day #enchantedbythebidders

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dreamgardens · 5 years

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high school au - park jisung

a/n: idk why i suddenly felt like writing this?? i never even planned for a high school au but i was randomly really inspired to do it,,, sksks this is more of a dance team au but whatever

you’re not exactly friends with jisung

he’s been in a few of your classes throughout the years and you’re both on friendly terms- sometimes you’ll sit next to each other if there’s no one else and you can strike up a convo readily, you’ll say hi to each other in the hallways... but;;

still not really friends in the terms of hanging out and all

you’re not that close with his group of people in general

which is why it surprises you when one day as you’re going home from school ten pops up next to you “hey, (y/n!)”

it takes you five hot seconds to remember who he is- yes, right, he was the teaching assistant for your history class once, that friendly but kind of weird guy,,, he graduated but came back to help out

“that’s me! hi-?” you squeak out, because he basically jumpscared you

“you know jisung, right? and jeno and jaemin?”

you raise your eyebrow at him “...yes?”

“um, this might sound a bit weird, but...”

“yeah?”

“we’re kind of- we’re going to start a dance team, like an actual dance crew and stuff- well, technically it was taeyong’s idea but whatever- and we wanted to ask you to join?”

you just blink at him and try to process what he said “and where is this coming from?”... why would he ask you of all people?

“don’t give me that face! i know you’re a ballerina!”

and then you just stare at him

how the heck did he find out? you don’t go around telling people that you do ballet,,, you’re pretty shy about that

“and you... you know this how, exactly?” you inquire

ten just grins at you “yves told me about it! she even showed me a video of a performance you did. you’re really good!”

“sooyoung told you- she what?”

sooyoung, or yves as she’s nicknamed, is also a graduate from your school, and you’re quite good friends with her

“she’s joining our dance team too, and she recommended that we try and recruit you!”

“...” you’re not against this idea, really, but you’re a ballerina, and don’t know that much about more modern styles of dancing,,,

“come on, it’ll be fun!” ten insists

“i’m a ballerina, though,” you protest “not like... a contemporary dancer or anything...”

“that’s fine! you can learn!”

you hesitate “who else is going to be there?”

“well... me, jisung, jeno, jaemin, taeyong, sooyoung, and heejin, so far! and you, if you say yes. i wanted to ask a few other alumni, but they’re too busy... oh well, what do you say?”

oh thank god heejin’s there, she’s your best friend

that makes it so much better- not like you have issues with anyone else, but still...

“okay, yes, i’ll join... if it’s not awkward or burdensome for you guys.”

ten’s face lights up “great! can i have your number to add you to the group chat?”

you offer him your phone “have you asked anyone else?”

“well...” ten shrugs “yeah, but they don’t have time. so it’s just the eight of us... we figure a smaller number will be easier to handle, anyway, so that’s fine. unless you want to ask your friends?”

“um...” that’s actually tempting, some of your friends are excellent dancers “well, hyejoo and yerim are great dancers but they’re hella busy... yeah never mind.”

hyejoo’s been cast as the lead role in the school drama and has hours and hours of rehearsal, while yerim’s schedule is packed with a bazillion clubs, teams and classes

ten just laughs as he hands back your phone “alright, that’s fine! first meeting is this friday, i’ll see you there”

you nod as he waves goodbye and runs off

your phone buzzes with an excited text from heejin and you smile as you read over it

(y/n)!!! you joined the group!! omg i didn’t know you even knew about it

you shoot back a text with i didn’t, sooyoung told ten i’m a ballerina

heejin responds almost instantly,,, and no one told me they were planning to recruit you? ugh why i would have given you so much praise

you chuckle to yourself. shut up i’m not that good, you’re the amazing one

um... girlie, you are that good! and we’ll both be awesome together, okay?

then a notif lights up your phone from.... ‘taeten’s cult’???

oh,, must be the dance team chat, you realize- a message from taeyong

okay, everyone! we have a new member, it’s (y/n)

a text from heejin pops up in the chat ‘she’s an amazing ballerina!’

you sigh and retort, i’m not that good

heejin’s typing bubble shows up, but before she can shut you down, a text from jaemin pops up ‘oh, hey! welcome~’

over the next hour more welcoming texts are sent and,,, hey

you’re kind of looking forward to friday

but first: auditions for the big ballet production at your studio are tomorrow and you need to get in some last-minute practice today

you are a big ball of nerves because you’re aiming for the lead role and you have some serious competition

tomorrow’s audition comes and goes, and thankfully you seem to have impressed the director

so you just do what you usually do with auditions and don’t think about it

on friday you and heejin arrive at a practice room in taeyong and ten’s apartment complex

you more or less know everyone except taeyong, so you’re not that nervous

the two of you are the last to enter

everyone’s sitting in a circle on the floor

when ten spots you two, his eyes light up “oh, hey! they’re here!”

taeyong claps his hands “okay, kids, since everyone’s arrived-”

“yes mom,” drawls jeno

jisung and jaemin snort as taeyong sighs

the eight of you go around in a circle and introduce yourselves- like your name, your grade year, and a bit about yourselves like hobbies, interests, things like that

“hey, we need to decide on a name, don’t we?” sooyoung pipes up

“yeah, we do” taeyong just shrugs “i’ll put a small form in the group chat and you guys can send in suggestions”

“i like taeten’s cult,” ten declares

“...yeah... no”

the conversation devolves into a brief debate over how politically correct the word cult is in different situations before taeyong gets it back on track

“okay, guys! ten is going to split us up into pairs”

ten stands “alright, so the girls know each other, and the guys know each other, but there’s not much closeness between us besides that. through the power of rng and technology...” he waves his phone around “i’m going to sort us into pairs with someone we’re not so close with! so we can have team bonding and stuff”

it takes a few minutes for his app to load and he spins it a few times before announcing “okay, the pairs are... drumroll, please...”

jaemin, jeno, taeyong and heejin happily oblige him while sooyoung just chuckles

jisung shoots you a look like these idiots, right

“jaemin and sooyoung, jeno and taeyong, me and heejin, and jisung and (y/n)!”

the eight of you shuffle around so you’re next to your partners instead

“so just...” taeyong shrugs “talk to each other, get to know each other, stuff like that!”

jisung’s the first to speak- a bit nervous-sounding, and having a bit of trouble with eye contact “i’m really glad you joined...” he smiles shyly at you “i didn’t get to see any videos of you dancing, but ten and sooyoung said you were super good, and i believe them, so...”

“oh” you can’t help ducking your head and focusing on the floor for a second before glancing up again “thanks...! i’m- i’m really not that good, though. i don’t really know modern dance styles... not that i can’t do it, i can, but it’s not really my specialty? unlike you guys. you’re super good”

jisung shakes his head, a dusting of pink on his cheeks “oh, come on. we’re- we’re not all that good, and i’m sure you can learn”

you chuckle “well, i suppose. i’m looking forward to it”

the two of you spend a few more minutes talking quietly about nothing in particular- school, dancing, things like that

and then taeyong speaks up “guys... ten and i forgot to tell you something”

he sounds a bit guilty

then ten speaks up, not sounding guilty at all

“okay, guys! we forgot to tell you, but we’ve signed this team to perform for a big city festival that’s happening in a few months”

“unfortunately, some of the other planned performers had to back out, so we got stuck with a really long time slot- like...” taeyong sighs “ours is more than ten minutes long...”

“so we just need to perform for ten minutes?” inquires heejin “doesn’t sound that bad.”

ten continues cheerfully “that’s not all! we didn’t want to just have all eight of us perform for that long, that’s boring, so to spice it up, we promised that we’d have some duet performances!”

silence for a few moments as ten pauses dramatically before finishing “that’s right, everyone, the partner you’re with now will be the person you perform a duet stage with!”

well

jisung’s a good partner, actually,,, the only problem that you can think of is that you’re not good enough to match him

you’re fine with this though

“and you selected these pairs by random generator?” jeno yelps

ten nods happily while taeyong rolls his eyes in the back “right! if anyone has problems with their partner, speak now or forever hold your peace!”

you glance over at jisung

he just shrugs at you, smiling lightly

“i’m totally fine,” sooyoung chirps, and everyone follows suit with confirming that they’re fine with this arrangement

“okay, cool” taeyong stands up “ten and i are still choreographing the full group performance, so we don’t actually have anything else to do this meeting. just... we’ll meet again next friday, and meanwhile, you guys start planning the performance with your partners, okay?”

“yes, mom!” jaemin calls out

and with that the meeting ends

jisung pulls you aside before you leave “do you want to meet up tomorrow to decide what song to perform our duet to?”

“oh! yeah, okay. where do you want to meet?”

“i’ll... i’ll tell you,” jisung decides “i’ll send you the address later”

you nod “okay, that’s cool! see you tomorrow then”

jisung smiles at you and you wave goodbye before leaving with heejin

to be honest, you are a bit excited to perform a duet with jisung- you’re always happy to perform on stage, and duets are usually quite fun

and he’s a great dancer

you know he’ll do his best, and so will you- thankfully, you already know him, so it’s not like your partner is a literal stranger like taeyong or someone you don’t know as well, like ten

not that you know jisung that well, but the point stands

as you go home, a couple ideas for types of duets you’d like to do pop into your head, and you take mental notes of them

that night, jisung texts you an address to go to and you send him back a thanks! do you have any ideas so far?

you’re a bit confused because the address has no floor or apartment number, it’s just a street address

does jisung live in an actual house?

before you can ponder any longer jisung responds with a couple. you’re a ballerina, right? so maybe we could do something more traditional. or a fusion. i don’t know, anything’s possible

you smile down at your screen and text back, yeah! if we end up doing something more your genre, like modern stuff, that’s cool too! i’d like to try that as well.

five minutes later the dance team chat rings with a text from taeyong

whoever just sent ‘cabbage ass’ to the name submission form, please stop, thanks

you snort to yourself before wondering if you should submit a name

huh,,, you’ll think about it, you don’t have any good ideas as of right now

before you go to bed you and heejin text each other back and forth for a good forty-five minutes, mostly about the dance team performance

she’s excited too

which is nice- having your bestie with you makes it more fun

the next day, you wake up late because it’s a weekend, finish your homework, eat lunch and head out to the address jisung gave you

when you arrive your jaw more or less drops

it’s a huge house

...more like a mansion ngl

but.

it’s huge, and obviously belongs to a very, very rich family

jisung is standing at the entrance, and you trot towards him

when he spots you he waves and smiles “hi! good afternoon”

“good afternoon, jisung,” you greet politely, though you are still thoroughly shook “is this... is this your house?”

“is this...” he looks surprised for a moment before laughing and shaking his head “no, it’s not, it’s chenle’s. his family is super rich. there’s a practice room in there that they almost never use, so chenle lets me use it all the time.”

you glance back and forth between him and the huge house

right, zhong chenle is rich, you forget that sometimes because he seems... more or less normal

“and... his parents are okay with this?”

jisung nods, heading towards the gate and gesturing for you to follow “yeah! his parents don’t mind.”

“is chenle here right now?”

“i don’t know. i’ll ask him. he knows we’re here, of course.” jisung shrugs “even if he’s not here, it’s... it’s fine for us to use the room, since chenle knows i’m not going to break anything or stuff like that.”

jisung pauses at the gate to type in a code and you ask, “so... you just use your best friend’s house for dance practice? even when he’s not here?”

“yep”

you shake your head, finding that setup somehow quite funny as jisung leads you into the house

and you try not to look too astonished at how grand the house is

you’re pretty sure some of it shows, though, since when jisung glances over at you, a faintly amused smile creeps over his face

he glances away quickly enough, looking embarrassed at being caught observing you

the two of you arrive at a large dance practice room with a big mirror on one side of the wall and a little speaker system set up in the far corner

jisung plops himself down against the wall, looking completely comfortable making himself right at home

you set your bag down as he pulls out his laptop from his bag “i brought this so we can look through songs and choreographies”

“okay” you sit down next to him “any ideas for the type of song?”

“i thought about... something more traditional, i guess? not totally old-fashioned, if you get my drift. but still. i’ve always wanted to try genres like that. they tend to have fun partner dances.”

“ooh..” you hum in agreement “that sounds fun, too. let’s start looking, then...” you pause as jisung pulls up youtube “do we need an original choreography or can we follow one?”

jisung pauses in his typing as he responds “i asked taeyong. it can be either, it’s up to us. he needs to approve it, though.”

“oh... what do you want to do, then?”

“i... i don’t mind either way” jisung shrugs “i guess... we can look through some choreographies first and see if any catch our eye, or if any songs sound particularly inspiring”

“i’m assuming it can just be one to two minutes, right?”

“yeah.”

and so the two of you begin your search for choreos and songs that you’d like to perform

it takes about twenty minutes for the two of you to find something

the song is fast-paced, latin-sounding thing, and the choreography is... well, it’s spectacular

you’re not sure what it is about this choreography but you immediately latch on to it. this is what you want to perform

it has a certain powerful, energetic spirit, it matches the song perfectly, and you can easily tell it’s painfully intricate and detailed- especially the partner elements

this is a legitimate couples dance

there’s no way for anyone perform the dance on their own- a partner is most definitely needed in this routine

you just. really want this song.

so you check over at jisung and thank god

the look on his face is delighted and completely taken in by the video- it’s easy to see that he’s having the same thoughts as you

“i...” you clear your throat “i want this song. i like it.”

jisung smiles, looking happy at what you said “i like it too. so, we both want to do it- then... there’s no discussion necessary, right?”

“looks like it!”

“i’ll send it to taeyong, i’m sure he’ll approve it though” jisung picks up his phone and shoots off a message to taeyong before turning back to you “should we watch it a couple more times?”

you nod cheerfully “sure!”

as the two of you go through the video a few more times, you become more convinced that yes, this is definitely something you want to try

there’s something a bit concerning though

well. just a bit

the routine has a fair amount of bodily contact- like hands on waists, dipping, faces being one inch apart, hand holding, stuff like that

it’s not as if you’re super against that but

you don’t know jisung that well. you’re not super comfortable with him,,, but it’s easy to see that to pull this dance off, partners have to be extremely comfortable with getting up close and personal

that... creates a bit of worry for you

and it’s a bit embarrassing to think about

you really want to do it, but- perhaps... if he’s not comfortable,,,

as you chew on your lip you glance over at him,,, and yes, his face is a bit pink, he’s definitely noticed

he coughs nervously “um... (y/n)- there’s... there’s not much personal space to be had in this routine... if you’re not comfortable with it then-”

“oh, no!” you shake your head “i’m- i’m fine with it, as long as you’re also okay with doing that-”

“i- i don’t have problems with it, don’t worry!” jisung ducks his head to face his feet, looking a tad embarrassed “it’s something new for me, but i’m willing to try”

“it’s new for me too” you offer “we can learn together!”

jisung looks very relieved, though his cheeks are still a bit redder than usual, and you’re pretty sure yours are too

“okay, let’s both do our best then” jisung smiles at you before his phone buzzes “oh, it’s taeyong!”

he checks it briefly before his grin widens a bit “he said he likes it.”

“oh! that’s good”

“so, uh... do you want to start learning it right now?”

“i... i don’t know, let me-”

then your phone buzzes and your heart flutters with excitement

it’s the special notification sound you set for anything ballet-related,,, so... that must mean- audition results

“sorry, jisung, this is important, hold on-” you bite down on your lip nervously as you turn your phone on

a few seconds later a brilliant smile breaks out on your face

“yes!” you squeal happily “i did it!”

jisung looks a bit confused “...did what?”

“sorry, didn’t tell you” there’s still a slightly giddy grin on your face “i got picked for the main role in the ballet production my studio is doing!”

“oh!” jisung’s face clears “congratulations!”

“i was really nervous, so- oh, this is good,” you chirp happily, sending back affirmation to the director before texting heejin about your successful audition

“...hey, (y/n)?”

“yeah, what is it?”

“if this isn’t weird...” jisung is fidgeting with his shirt “can i- can i see one of your ballet routines? i really want to see you dancing- i mean, if that’s not too odd-”

a strange feeling that is somewhat pleased and flattered fills you

“it’s no problem, of course!” you’re always happy to show people ballet

so you put on some music “this is the routine i auditioned with! it’s romeo and juliet, by the way.”

“...you got juliet’s part?”

“yep!” you smile cheerfully “that means i die in the end, but whatever”

jisung chuckles as you stand up,,, and you slip into the starting position, trying to ignore the fact that he’s there

it’s a bit embarrassing but you soon forget that he’s watching you

you let yourself go into the music and your surroundings fade away- your part is juliet, you’re juliet now, not (y/n), that’s the character you have to embody

this quick routine is basically muscle memory for you so it’s over before you know it

a slight blush appears on your face before you give a small bow and peek at jisung “was i good?”

his eyes are shining with thrilled excitement “you were great!” he exclaims “ten and sooyoung weren’t lying, i suppose... that was really good, (y/n!) you’re a good ballerina.”

your blush darkens and you hurriedly sit down, flustered “thank you... oh, but don’t say it like that, i don’t know how to respond-”

“no, seriously” jisung insists earnestly “you were really graceful and elegant, i liked it”

you giggle nervously, secretly delighted by the praise “i... thank you, jisung! it’s really nice to hear that”

after that, the two of you come to an agreement to meet up here again tomorrow- each of you will start learning your individual part at home, then start putting it together tomorrow

this arrangement comes to be mostly because jisung received a panicked text from one of his friends telling him that they forgot to finish a project

so today’s time is cut short

“do you want to grab something from the kitchen before leaving?” jisung offers “there’s a lot of stuff in there”

you frown “...is that allowed?”

“yeah! i’ve done it before”

so the two of you take a detour to the kitchen, and lo and behold, chenle’s actually there, sitting at the kitchen counter and watching something on his laptop

“oh, hey!” jisung grins “you’re here!”

chenle looks up and a big smile breaks out on his face “jisung, hi! and (y/n) too~ you guys finished early!”

“yeah...” jisung smiles sheepishly “renjun and i forgot to finish our history project”

“oh, of course” chenle rolls his eyes teasingly “not surprised. oh, and if you’re here to get food, then go ahead, kitchen’s yours” he waves vaguely at the shelves behind him

so you pick up a couple of cookies before leaving chenle’s house and waving goodbye to jisung, who’s rushing home to do his project

when you get home the dance team chat buzzes again- it’s taeyong

two of the pairs have already decided on their choreographies! the rest of you, you still have time, but if you’re going to make an original choreography, you better start soon

you scan through a series of excited congratulatory texts from heejin

then taeyong texts again hey, does anyone know where ten is? he won’t tell me and i swear i’ll pay anyone who does know

a response from ten: i’m in church like a good christian boy

you raise your eyebrows, fighting a laugh as a reply from jeno pops up ‘it’s not even sunday, no one’s at church’

at the same time, jisung replies with ‘good christian boy my ass’

you roll your eyes

watching ten send back aggressive protests and taeyong’s attempts to get things back under control is quite entertaining, but you have other things to do

like practicing your parts for the choreography you’ve picked

it’s really an interesting dance, with lots of little details that are quite difficult to get right

you’re still excited to do it though!

later on you receive the practice schedule for romeo and juliet and scan over it briefly

as planned, you show up at chenle’s mansion again the next day

jisung says a gentle, polite hello to you, and the two of you walk right in like it’s not someone else’s house

chenle’s in the garden, and the two of you greet him before going in

and you get right to business! jisung pulls up the choreography video while asking, “did you practice last night?”

“yeah, i did! i think i have the basic idea down for most of it. you?”

“me too, we just need to put it together now”

you have most of your part learned- the rest of it being details you glossed over and more importantly moves you can’t do without jisung

this will be hard to perfect

and so the two of you get right to it

okay, so yes, you were expecting a bit of awkwardness and embarrassment, and it hits right away

you haven’t actually had notable physical contact with jisung before and it shows

the starting position is your back pressed up against jisung’s front with his hands on your waist and your hands on his forearms

suddenly you’re wondering if this was such a good idea

it’s just kind of weird being so close to him,,, your face is kind of warm and you think you can hear your heartbeat because it’s fluttering a bit faster than normal

but if you think you’re embarrassed,,,, you have not seen jisung

poor boy is basically hyperventilating internally

he hasn’t really tried partner dancing like this before??? so he’s super nervous,,, and he doesn’t know whether you’re comfortable

is he too close? should he move his hands higher? is he holding too tight, or too lightly? jisung doesn’t mind being this close, but he’s afraid that you mind

he’s also in the leading position for this dance so he’s going to have to take more initiative and that makes him nervous

so neither of you look at the mirror because you're both kind of pink and you don’t want to see it

“is- is this good?” jisung asks anxiously his voice is a little scared and it’s a bit endearing but you try to ignore that in favor of nodding

the two of you start to slowly move through the choreography- you both know the basic skeleton, but there are details, and you have to be careful to match each other

“we’ll get it eventually,” you giggle as jisung almost trips over your foot for the fifth time

he groans “,,, we really have to be less awkward to do this properly...”

“we’ll get there!” you promise over the next month, the two of you do get there and become closer, as does the whole dance team as a whole

taeten take the whole month and some to choreograph the full group dance because apparently they haven’t ever done it for such a large group before- they intend on having a detailed choreo and letting everyone be in the spotlight at least once- and they’re extremely busy

every friday they apologize for taking so long

but it gives everyone more time to practice their duets, so it’s fine!

the dance team’s high school members- which would be you, heejin, jisung, jaemin and jeno- start hanging out a fair bit after school

the boys have called you and heejin over to their lunch table several times,,, and the five of you are always throwing paper airplanes at each other in class to get each others’ attention

you’ve also decided on a team name! the eight of you are now named halcyon- the word means something like great prosperity and happiness, as well as recalling a mythological bird who could charm the sea into calm

over this month, you start getting busy. like really busy

ballet practice kicks into full swing and you have so much goddamn choreo to memorize,,, and you’re spending as much time practicing with jisung as humanly possible because you’re both awfully perfectionist

the two of you are a lot more comfortable with each other now though

practice pays off sjdhjhs spending so much time together has made the two of you a lot more familiar with each other

you’re now comfortable with physical contact- even a little bit in public is fine

like when the two of you sit together during lunch you can lean on jisung’s shoulder if you want, neither of you mind if your arms or legs are touching, little things like that

the two of you have made a habit of hanging out for a while after practice,,, like to get boba or whatever

you’re very close with each other now lmao

it’s just easy for the two of you to get along,,,and that doesn’t slip past the other members

heejin won’t stop needling you about it and how close you and jisung have gotten in such a short amount of time

especially given the duo choreo- the duos have to show what they’ve learned during practice and oh boy when you and jisung performed what you had perfected of your song for the first time

jaemin: leAVE SPACE FOR JESUS

taeyong: ...you two are really good at this wow you look so comfortable with each other

ten: is that a hanD ON A WAIST I SEE YOUNG MAN

heejin: eww why are you staring into each others’ eyes so hard is that part of the choreo

jeno and sooyoung: *literally catcalling*

the other members started teasing the two of you after that about how you had to pick a romantic sort of dance and how the two of you have excellent chemistry and look so comfortable with each other

actually last week after you and jisung showed off the part where he lifts you off the ground and spins you around, you caught taeten cooing over how cute the two of you look together

also you posted a selfie of when one time you and jisung went out to get boba and jesus christ the comments on that one

you would think the two of you announced an engagement

(everyone you know is crazy. that’s the conclusion you can draw from that ngl)

and it’s not just teasing from the dance team members, heejin sent the video of you and jisung’s dance to your other friends too so now hyejoo and yerim are always teasing you, especially after they saw that selfie-

“are you sure you’re not dating-”

and they’re not shy about doing it in front of both of you

apparently jisung is a complete tsundere and it’s actually pretty adorable like “we are nOT- what are you imPLYING”

you either just blush or roll your eyes, depending on the audacity of the teasing comment

it’s not as if you’re opposed to the idea of dating jisung, he’s sweet and adorable, but it’s just... not a thing

you’re not sure how he feels about it anyway so you just ignore the teasing,,, and he gets a bit pink when it happens, which is cute

soon enough ten and taeyong finish the choreography for the full group performance, and at the next team meeting, they start teaching it

(of course, the duos show off their dances first and in comes the customary round of teasing directed at you and jisung, but whatever.)

it’s pretty interesting! it’s a very detailed choreography built around eight members only with changing formations and all that

and it starts out easy

but then there’s one move. or one sequence of moves,,, that you just cannot get the hang of

your body just... refuses to move that way for some reason

it’s only an introductory teaching today to give a feel of what the choreo will look like though,,, so you don’t bring it up and decide to go over it at home

newsflash: you still can’t get it

it’s really disappointing, especially because everyone else could

you feel like you’re improving a little, but you still can’t get the hang of those moves and it’s very negligible improvement

plus ballet is starting to get stressful

so at the next meeting, when they start going into more detail, you feel yourself lagging behind

it’s not just those moves- you feel that your ability to do this genre of dance is lower than everyone else’s in general, and it’s noticeable

you just don’t look as sharp and smooth as the others do and it’s actually very embarrassing because you haven’t been this bad at anything involving dancing in a while

which leads to you being too afraid to try because you don’t want to embarrass yourself and show them that you’re not as good

so you just have a disheartened air the whole practice

and.... you’re really just not used to being bad at dancing

you’re pretty sure taeten, jisung and heejin notice- they’re all looking at you with concern, especially when it comes to that one sequence and you kind of just shrink

but you refuse to tell them what’s up,,,

you’re getting increasingly frustrated though

when practice is over you wave heejin away, not wanting her to be late to her tutoring, and she frowns, giving you a ‘you-wont-tell-me-but-i-know-you’re-sad’ hug before leaving to her tutoring class

the rest of the team is starting to leave when jisung tugs you aside

“hey, (y/n), what’s wrong? you seemed... really worried today”

“nothing,” you grumble, shaking him off “i’m fine.”

“you are not fine,” he insists, eyes wide and earnest “you looked so down the whole time. and you weren’t trying, i know you weren’t, i’ve seen you dancing before. what’s wrong?”

god, you don’t want to admit it to jisung of all people, jisung who’s so good at dancing and managed to pull off the choreo perfectly today, jisung who has such high opinions of you...

“(y/n)... come on...” jisung’s voice is sincere and concerned

you sigh “okay, look, i just... i know it might not be that difficult in reality, but i can’t seem to pull the group choreo off? i just look so awkward and not like the rest of you, and there’s that one sequence that i can’t manage to do properly? at least everywhere else i can pretend, but there, it’s really obvious that i can’t.”

you trail off, looking up at jisung, who looks pensive and thoughtful

it’s a moment before he speaks again, and he’s grabbing your hand and pulling you toward the center of the room “come on, hurry”

“w-what?”

“you said you can’t pull it off well, right?” jisung smiles hopefully at you “well, i’m going to help you practice until you can”

“oh...” you feel your heart lift- he really is very sweet and caring, isn’t he... “but isn’t this... ten and taeyong are gone, this is their apartment complex- are we allowed to use this?”

jisung shrugs “well... they say no one ever uses it, so i think we’ll be fine”

“you- you don’t have anything better to do?” you question hesitantly

“this is something better, i want to help you,” he insists “it’s troubling you, and i don’t want that. besides, it’s always easier to learn dance with someone teaching you”

so you give in and you start going over the moves bit by bit

it really is easier with someone teaching you, and jisung’s actually quite a decent coach- he’s patient and gentle and encouraging,,, walks you through every step until you finally get it

he doesn’t get frustrated even when you do “just try again, i’m sure you’ll get it this time!”

hypes you up when he so much as spots a spark of improvement

and because you’re comfortable with physical contact jisung can just reach out and adjust your position whenever you’re off

you’re not sure how long you spend in the room but eventually you get it correct,,, not like you’re suddenly really good, but you manage to move through it properly and it doesn’t look awkward

“i did it!” you cheer happily, bouncing up and down “jisung, i did it~”

he’s grinning brightly “you did! good job!”

you tackle him into a hug because you’re kind of unreasonably happy about it “thank you so much, jisung!”

he stutters and blushes, but reciprocates happily “no problem”

it’s a few minutes and a few more run-throughs later when you cough “hey... what time is it?”

apparently it’s actually really late- like it’s dark out and you’re surprised no one’s come to kick you out of the practice room

you’re on your way out when jisung clears his throat “hey, (y/n)... cause it’s really late, i was just thinking- you don’t live far, right? w-would- would you... like me to... w-walk you home, maybe?”

you can barely respond without stuttering like him (and you definitely avoid eye contact) because that is painfully adorable and sweet and yes, you would like that

so he does

it’s quite nice- just two friends walking through the night, talking about everything and nothing, giggling once in a while when something’s funny

the walk passes by in a blur because jisung is just so easy to be with and you’re simply happy to be around him

“we’re here,” you chirp “thanks so much for walking me home, jisung!”

“it was- um- it was nice walking with you,” he offers before smiling sweetly at you “are you up for duet practice tomorrow or are you tired?”

you grin back “i’m up for it! and, uh- thanks again for staying back to teach me the dance, really...”

“it was no problem,” he insists earnestly

and then you’re really not sure what possesses you

maybe it’s the way he’s smiling at you or the way the glow from the streetlights illuminates his face,,, you really don’t know

but you just lean in and touch your lips to his briefly

and then you immediately mentally regret it because what in god’s name did you just do

it’s not like it lasted for that long but still

jisung looks more startled than you “i- wh-”

“uh- yeah, thanks for everything tonight,” you squeak out, wondering where the hell that impulse came from “good night, jisung!”

and you hear him call an uncertain “good night” after you as you duck into your building

the second you’re out of sight though,,, jisung lifts his hand to his lightly tingling lips

his face is warm and pink and he can’t stop from smiling just a bit

meanwhile you’re fretting over whether you just ruined your friendship- which is probably paranoid of you, but you really have no idea why you did that, you just really wanted to kiss him all of a sudden apparently???

so the next day you’re terrified to hell and back that your dance practice with him will be awkward

thankfully it’s not

jisung seems happy to not bring it up and so are you,,, so you just don’t, and you go on as usual

except for that one part in the choreo where his face gets really close to yours

when you guys get to that part all you can think of is what you did last night and maybe what it would be like to properly kiss him again,,, and you turn bright red before tripping over him

which just makes him laugh

you think you hear him mumble “cute” but you’re too embarrassed over your mistake to pursue that thought further

the two of you head out to grab a snack again afterwards, as usual

on the way to the dessert parlor you both love, you’re walking along in comfortable silence before another impulse picks at your head again

you kind of want to hold his hand

it’s not like the two of you don’t link fingers once in a while when you’re sitting next to each other,,, but you don’t do it in public while walking around

and the thought of it makes you strangely flustered

so you just shrug to yourself and link arms with him

jisung glances down and looks a bit confused before smiling hesitantly at you and relaxing

it’s nice walking arm in arm with him

standing in line at the counter to order, you feel a bit more fluttery than usual but you don’t think anything of it

next friday,,, it’s dance practice again!!!

and this time when you go over the full group choreo you manage to do the whole thing quite well

you grin happily and jisung catches your eye in the mirror before sending you a proud grin and mouthing good job at you

which makes you flush a little

but you’re mostly just really happy that you got it

after practice you, jisung, heejin, jeno, and jaemin go out to a coffee shop to chill for a while

it’s one you and jisung go to fairly often after practice

so you think nothing of ordering one of those big milkshakes to share like usual- you have the same favorite drink, and it’s just cheaper lmao

jisung’s stuck in the two straws and you’re taking a sip when you catch the other three staring at you

“...what?”

the three glance at each other knowingly

“that’s cute,” jeno sighs a moment later,,, jaemin pouts at him “why don’t you do this sort of thing with me?”

“...i did it once, i left for ten seconds and you drank eighty percent of it. never again.”

heejin tilts her head “so you two are just casually doing couple things now?”

“w-what?” you squeak “heejin-”

she raises her eyebrows “don’t act innocent, and don’t give me that look, jisung, sharing drinks is a thing dating people do-”

“we are not dating!” jisung yelps “we’re just-”

“we’re friends!” you add “sharing milkshakes is a friend thing too, guys, come on, i share drinks with you, heejin!”

“no, you don’t, i ask you and you let me take one sip before snatching it away,” heejin corrects

you roll your eyes but you can’t quite muster a snarky response

(your mind is back to when you kissed him last week,,, not that that kissing incident means anything-)

“maybe it’s a friend thing, but in general, it’s typically a couples thing to do and it has that sort of connotation,” jeno points out reasonably, eyes twinkling with amusement

jisung’s pink again and you still can’t think of anything to say

heejin raises her eyebrow at your lack of protest so she continues needling you,,, and later on jaemin snaps a picture of you and jisung for no reason

that night you found out he uploaded it with the caption i’m with other people but i feel like i’m third wheeling

he was nice enough to crop out your and jisung’s faces

but it’s still enough to make you turn red

heejin’s comment is the top one- not dating my ass

chenle’s is right under, asking inquisitively, who are they???

jeno just has a laughing emoji

and then there’s people speculating as to who it is

thankfully you don’t see your or jisung’s names anywhere- that would just be embarrassing

you scroll back up to eye the picture,,, and you have to concede that out of context, it does look like a dating picture, with the shared milkshake and oh god jaemin managed to catch the one second jisung was playing with your fingers to bug you

you try to forget about it

and it mostly works because stress from school is starting to really set in,,, besides, ballet practice is tiring you out a lot

then the next dance practice with the team rolls around

you’ve been practicing in the school dance practice rooms lately because some of the elderly have been booking taeten’s usual room for yoga and things like that

and you guys get to a part in the choreography where taeten are planning for you to do something fancy and acrobatic

once again, it was sooyoung who told them you could do that

taeyong gives you an idea of what he wants, and lo and behold, it is something within your ability so you go ahead with it

that part of the choreography is pretty difficult so you keep running through it

at some point though you start flagging a bit because you’re exhausted already and this isn’t helping

“do you need to take a break?” ten asks briefly

but you shake your head “i’m good”

what happens next is both a mistake on your part and jisung’s

you’re going into your acrobatic sequence when jisung doesn’t get out of the way fast enough

so you bump into him

and before you realize you lose your balance and fall hard onto your ankle

a shot of pain stabs up through your leg

instantly you know that you’ve probably sprained it,,, you’ve had a good share of foot injuries, being a ballerina

so you’re not too alarmed

(but it hurts a lot, so you let yourself shriek a little)

everyone around you immediately freaks out

“(y/n)!” heejin yells “are you okay?”

jisung kneels down next to you “i- i’m so sorry! i tripped you, i’m so sorry, are you alright?”

“it’s not your fault,” you mumble out, sighing as you sit up and start tugging on your shoe to examine your foot

the other members visibly cringe as you hiss and flinch

“no, don’t,” taeyong states sharply “you’re going to the nurse”

“but-”

“i’ll take you, come on,” jisung mumbles “i tripped you, so i’ll do it”

“jisung-”

despite your protests that you’re just fine, jisung walks you to the nurse’s office anyway

“thank god we’re at school...” you sigh out as you enter the office

the nurse quickly makes you sit down and checks your foot, and every time you glance over to jisung you frown

he looks so guilty and concerned, and winces when you do

“it’s a moderate sprain, just stay off it for a while, you’ll be fine in a week or two” the nurse smiles at you “i’ll write you a note and get you a cast, just stay right here”

she disappears into the storage room

“(y/n), i-”

“don’t apologize” you interrupt jisung and pat the empty spot next to you “come on, sit down, you look awkward just standing there”

he does and sighs “it’s just... you were in pain, and i hated that”

you soften a little “oh, come on, it wasn’t that much, i’ve sprained ankles before-”

“no, you don’t get it...” he falters a little “i- look, i just feel so guilty because it’s partly my fault, and i hate seeing you hurt- it’s just... i care about you a lot, (y/n), and i really like you. i like you so much- it hurts me when you’re like this even if it’s not a lot-”

he stops himself

“o-oh...” you blink at him “i-”

“oh, no,” he mutters under his breath “i’m sorry i said that, you don’t need that right now, i really didn’t-”

“no, jisung, what were you saying?” you interrupt, and you’re not sure where this is going or where you want it to go

“i didn’t plan for it to go this way...” he mumbles “i- i said, i really like you, i like you a lot, and it hurts me to see you injured even if it’s just a little bit, especially if it’s partially my fault...”

“you- you like me?”

he’s bright pink and can’t look at you “yes...”

“w-what? for how long?” your face is burning too

“i don’t know... i think i... i realized it after you kissed me, i liked it, and then i realized i liked you that way, but maybe i felt that way before...?” his voice, uncertain, lifts up into a wondering, unsure tone

“jisung-”

he rushes ahead “so i guess- what i want to get at is- i swear i didn’t intend for it to go this way, but the secret’s out so i might as well... will you- w-will you be-”

“your girlfriend?” you finish for him

“yes...”

“i will!” you announce happily, grinning all over

“you will?” he looks so delighted and startled that you giggle “yeah, i will! now that you’ve said it- i guess i was feeling those feelings too, i’m just happy when i’m with you. heck yeah, i’ll be your girlfriend!”

jisung just smiles widely and you’re about to lean in to kiss him properly this time when the nurse comes back in with your cast

you’re not sure if she heard

but she has a knowing smirk so actually you’re pretty sure

when the two of you go back down to the practice room, jisung announces that your ankle is only sprained

and then you chime in “we’re dating!”

the reactions are delightfully varied

ten shouts “taeyong, forK OVER mY moNEY-”

three different people declare “i told you so!” at the exact same time

jisung just sighs “i... i knew that was going to happen...”

“you bet on my love life?” you yelp indignantly while ten just nods proudly, pocketing a twenty

(later you find out yerim and heejin were also betting on it and you almost kick heejin out the window)

but anyway

you’re both sort of new to dating so you just figure things out as you go,,, in a way, your relationship doesn’t change that much

but you’re both more open to more affection with each other now

hand holding under the table and just casually when you’re hanging out with each other

just being soft around each other everywhere you are

jisung will literally sprint ahead of you to hold doors open for you and is always offering to help you carry your stuff

loves playing with your hair

sitting or taking walks in silence just enjoying each other’s company

you’re both too shy to get too into it in public but you both love affection and skinship

you’ve kissed him in public a few times- mostly to see him blush

he’s still unused to it and will shove you away because he’s so impossibly flustered

but jisung’s just the best, cutest, most supportive boyfriend of all time and will basically do anything for you

#whipped

he comes to your ballet performance holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers

front row seat in the audience

he intercepts you after the show, grinning hugely “you did so good! you’re so beautiful, too. i really liked the part where you-”

and he rambles on and on before you push him playfully “jisung i need to go change, you can compliment me later”

jisung insists that you take the flowers though

so you do and you blush the whole way back to the changing rooms as all your ballet friends demand to know where you got those flowers from

after the show you meet him again and thank him profusely for the flowers

jisung just smiles and reaches for your hand quietly

you dodge that and just full on kiss him at the doors of the ballet studio because you’re giddy with after-show euphoria and you’re just delighted to be with him

aggressive cheering from everyone who sees it

jeno and jaemin wolf whistling

oh that’s right they were in the audience too but you weren’t paying attention to them

jisung drags you out to get dessert afterwards

“okay, well, i was a bit meh on the parts with you and the guy playing romeo...” jisung admits to you over his ice cream

you snicker at him “we had our festival performance already, but if you want to assert that yes, i’m taken by you once again, then by all means, you can audition for the next romantic ballet”

“oh god no i can’t ballet”

so you just laugh at him

and you hear one of the waitresses giggling about young love

which is basically what this is,,, just,,, you’re both awkwardly head over heels for each other

#nct #nct dream #smtownnetwork #park jisung #nct jisung #high school au #nct scenarios #nct x reader #nct fluff #jisung scenarios #cherry blossom #nct dream fluff #nct imagines #bulletpoints #nct dream imagines #nct dream x reader #jisung fluff #jisung imagines #miyu's writing

316 notes · View notes

evesbeve · 5 years

Note

~All. Of. Them.~ ☺

99 gay-ish asks

… you know WHAT.

FINE.

I’LL DO ALL OF THEM.

LONG ANSWER UNDER THE TAG, HA V E FUN-

1. how tall are you?

I am 159cm aka 5′3ft!

2. what is your body type?

According to the first Google Image result I got, it’s between “Banana Shape” and “Apple Shape”. I have no idea who came up with these terms. But there you go.

3. what is your favorite part about your body?

My nails-

4. is your current hair color your natural hair color?

My hair is brunette, which is also my natural hair color!

5. are you more outgoing or more shy?

I’d like to think I’m outgoing, but we all know the truth rip

6. are you more femme or butch?

Depends on the day-

7. are you tol or smol?

I definitely wouldn’t call myself tol, so smol, I guess!

8. wine mom or vodka aunt?

Sober Mom

9. weird habit?

The door has to be either fully closed or fully open. Don’t fite me on this-

10. favorite meme?

Too many to count, but this is one of my favourites right now-

but also like, most of my faves at the moment are actually memes with pictures of me and my friends XD

11. do you sing in the shower?

Hell yes!!

12. ever used a bow and arrow?

Yep!

13. are/were you a theatre kid?

(Answered here)

14. have you ever seen a broadway musical?

Nope, but I’ve seen Aladdin’s counterpart to broadway in London! So it’s like, the exact same thing, but in London XD

15. do you think musicals are cheesy?

Yes. Do I think it makes them less enjoyable though? Nope.

16. have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

It’s a complicated story, but I have!

17. favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?

Gooood, it’s been so long since I’ve played CAH! I have no idea ;;

18. last movie you watched?

I think it was Far From Home!

19. behind the camera or in front of it?

I’m usually the one taking pictures and filming my friends (they better thank me in 10 years) but to be honest, I wish they’d take some more pics of me to look back to too. I do enjoy filming though, so I guess behind!

20. favorite tv show?

Right now, it’s definitely The Umbrella Academy!

21. meaning behind your url

My name is Evelina, and I am online

22. reason you joined tumblr

To follow a project I used to like on YouTube ^^

23. who’s your closest tumblr friend?

I mean, @clumsinessinperson, @xxwhisperapplexx, @hollsheadcanons and @spinharmony started out as tumblr friends, but now we’ve known each other for more than a year and they’re my best friends in the world ;w;

24. what’s something most people love that you hate?

Olives. Peas. Crocs.

uPDATE: i READ THAT QUESTION WRONG, I THOUGHT IT SAID THE OPPOSITE, I LOVE ALL THESE THREE THINGS

I do hate BBQ sauce with PASSION though-

25. have you ever taken narcotics?

I mean, only when I got my teeth extracted XD

26. have you had sex?

Nope.

27. have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

I’ve never sneaked out before, so nah. My phone caught me on my phone at 5am once, does that count?

28. worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

(Answered here)

29. describe your passion without mentioning it.

The ocean’s waves clash at the coast. They drown in themselves. They help the boats move. But sometimes, the ocean is quiet.

30. describe your best friend.

Nearly impossible to describe a 100 people in one sentence, but none of them have braincells.

31. give us one thing about you that no one knows.

NOT AGAIN, ANSWERED HERE.

32. how do you feel right now?

Energetic!!

33. what is your biggest fear?

Dying

34. what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

(Answered here)

35. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

Honestly, uploading my stories.

36. have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?

MANY TIMES. But hey, that’s life. And that doesn’t mean that it’ll always disappoint you. Keep trying, everyone!

37. something you fantasize about.

MEETING MY ONLINE FRIENDS IRL ;W;

38. last time you cried and why

This morning because I had a fight with my mom lmao

39. what was the last thing that made you laugh?

Me.

40. do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Sure do *dabs*

41. who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

@xxwhisperapplexx, @clumsinessinperson, @aesthetically-bitching and my other irl fren who doesn’t have tumblr but he is a dumbass!!

42. the last time you felt broken?

SEE 38, RIP (I’m okay now tho, dw!)

43. are you starting to realize anything?

I wanna be a director or a scriptwriter or something!! Just work in the movies!!

44. are you more dominant or more submissive?

Dominant, but I can be just as submissive!

45. i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

I’ll only date you if I love you?? Why would I date someone I don’t love?

46. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

Uhhh look, I’m 16, so the same age, lol. And even if I was older, age doesn’t matter as long as it’s not creepy and predatory, you know?

47. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

I don’t have a crush at the moment, thANK GOD.

48. do you have any kinks?

Bye.

49. first thing you notice in a person?

(Answered here)

50. how can someone win your heart?

Step One: Stan Ben Hargreeves.

51. been rejected by a crush?

Nop. Never confessed-

52. have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

Yes.

53. would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

No.

54. is trust a big issue for you?

I mean, I wouldn’t trust someone I just met with my life, but I do have faith in people ^^

55. did you hang out with the person you like recently?

I do not,,, have a crush,,,

56. is confidence cute?

Everything positive is cute.

57. what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

I don’t like someone right now but if it were to happen, I wouldn’t say anything? It’s their life.

58. would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Everyone makes me laugh. I must hate the person then XD

59. does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH AAAAA

60. ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

Yes, like a bazillion times.

61. do you want to get married

I’m open to it!

62. worst thing you’ve ever done?

Honestly, I was trying to think of a serious answer, I PROMISE, but then I remembered that when I was little my parents had pissed me off so badly, and I quoted a Barbie movie that said “You’re ruining my life!” like an angry toddler.

Then they threatened to never let me watch Barbie again because it was a bad influence, anD I MEAN. It was what it was XD

Note: They never banned Barbie.

63. three things that turn you on.

How did you know I was an android.

64. who do you hate?

Hate is a strong word, lmao.

65. favorite term of endearment?

Unironically, it’s “boo” XD

66. who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

I WAS WONDERING IF THERE WAS A QUESTION LIKE THAT, honestly I do not remember. Probably someone from Winx.

67. intimidating girls or kind girls?

Both are valid.

68. what do you look for in a possible partner?

I don’t look, they hit me in the head.

69. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

All. All the girls.

70. are you good at flirting?

Yes, actually XD

71. who was the first person you came out to?

Probably @aesthetically-bitching, I think!

72. do you have any friends who are wlw?

yeet

73. is your crush wlw?

don’t have a crush, but used to-

74. last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

I have no idea, I’ve known I was bi since 6th grade.

75. write a short love poem to your crush/self?

Not all the steps you walked on are stableBut that’s okayReaching the top requires a few

76. do you fall in love easily?

I’ve only fallen like in love twice. Crushes are way different, and I’d say kinda…?

77. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Yeah. But I hate talking about it.

78. are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yep. If you notice I’m sad, I want you to notice I’m sad.

79. are you a forgiving person?

Mhm!

80. what is your “type?”

Ironically, Eudora Patch from The Umbrella Academy is a very good depiction of my type. (Note: Personality wise. Looks genuinely don’t matter to me, everyone is BEAUTIFUL.)

81. fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?

I am a little spoon inside and out-

82. tall girls or short girls?

Doesn’t matter-

83. hugs or kisses?

Hugs!! kisses kinda make me uncomfortable most of the time to be honest

84. twirl her around or get twirled?

b O T H

85. tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

Tummy-

86. hairline kisses or neck kisses?

Hairline,,,

87. play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

Hair!!

88. making out or soft kisses?

Soft kisses, definitely. Not that I’ve kissed anyone before, but oh well XD

89. hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

Neck…? I’d say neck.

90. how confident are you in your sexuality?

It took me a while, but I am very confident in it right now!

91. when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

Butterflies™

92. have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?

I have, and I told them absolutely nothing

93. how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

*shrugs* young XD

94. most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

All girls are cute girls. So many things.

95. do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

THIS QUESTION IS STRESSING ME OUT, I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO CHOOSE. Honestly, Alphys and Undyne are a hard one to top, aND ALSO CANON

96. what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

“You’re just confused.”

97. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?

… I don’t know what to tell you.

98. what is love to you?

Love is complicated.

To me, it’s not about having a partner. Actually, loving someone regardless of romantic feelings is way more important, in my opinion. These things can co-exist, and loving a friend is just as important loving a lover.

The lack of it can hurt, especially being forced out of it. But feeling love? I don’t know. It’s one of the most beautiful feelings ever. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by it.

I really love this article on it! It’s about the 8 types of love the ancient greeks had, and as I greek person myself, I think highly of it. I highly recommend reading it!

99. ask me anything. (bUt since no one specified, I’ll ask myself: Why do this and what did I learn from this?)

I did this because I am stubborn. Also I genuinely liked the questions XD

What I learned from this experience is that I really love answering questions, oops-

If you made it this far, I don’t know what to tell you. You deserve a golden star, my dude.

ANYWAY, NEVER AGAIN.

#evelina nonesense #anon #ask #gayish asks #i can't believe i did this

8 notes · View notes

jemariel · 6 years

Text

Baby’s First Fic Rec List

Well Hello There! Somehow I made it to 366 followers!! I intended to do this celebration for 350 but, y’know, life, holidays.... So here it is now!

I haven’t been around this fandom very long, but I have never felt so at home and welcomed by a fandom. I’ve also spent the last year or so reading Destiel fic like it was my calling, my passion, my civic duty. Fun fact: when you dive into a fandom with 12 years of accumulated fanfic, there’s a deep deep well to draw from.....

And so, in honor of 350(ish) followers and my first year(ish) with this fandom, I present to you this list of recommendations! Just some faves and things I enjoyed reading . All are Destiel. Most are smutty. Mix of canonverse and AU, fluff and grit, plot and silliness. Some preference given to fics with fewer hits/kudos/comments than I think they deserve.

Happy reading!

....The Non-Smut....

mistletoe & peppermint cocoa by navylights Rated T 5.5k Summary: Cas and Dean are on a mission: to pick up the perfect Christmas tree for their first Christmas with everyone alive and well.And while Cas and Dean are out shopping, and buying cocoa on a snowy afternoon, a certain meddling younger brother is putting up mistletoe in the bunker.(Or, the absurdly fluffy Christmas carols/cocoa/mistletoe/tree decorating/Christmas lights fic of your dreams)

Dean Winchester’s Secret (Angel) Boyfriend by reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent Rated T 11.2k Summary: Dean Winchester isn't exactly a team player. So when he starts mentioning a new Hunting partner, Ellen and Jo Harvelle aren't sure whether they should be worried or relieved.But they're starting to get the feeling there's something important Dean's not telling them about Cas... (Reccer’s note: It’s kind of rare to see really excellent extended-cast ensemble work in fanfic. But this? This is that.)

Raisin D’etre by starsinursa Rated G 1.1k Summary: Apparently, Castiel hates raisins. (Reccer’s note: THIS IS THE CUTEST THING ON TWO LEGS.)

....Absolute Faves.....

Our Bodies, Possessed By Light by obstinatrix Rated E 40k Summary: Purged of all his souls, Castiel is a changed being, stronger than an angel and too powerful for Jimmy's body to contain. Happily, there's an archangel's vessel on hand, and he could use fixing, too. Dean isn't too happy about the idea of his brother acting as a vessel for Castiel, and Sam can guess why, but it isn't until Castiel gets inside his head and they learn to share the vessel -- and their thoughts -- that Sam realises Cas is as in love with Dean as Dean is with him. It's unfortunate that there's nothing much to be done about it now, but Castiel will get another vessel soon. The Winchesters will make damn sure of that. In the meantime, it's up to the three of them to establish their own strange accord, and Dean realises more fully than ever that it's Castiel, and not his vessel, that he loves. (Reccer’s note: Don’t let the premise squick you. This is very CLEARLY a Destiel story, in spite of Sam’s front row seat. I love all the relationships in this fic, Sam and Dean’s brotherly antagonizing/affection, Sam and Cas’s growing friendship, Cas and Dean’s straining, passionate adoration. All three of them are superbly written, but Cas especially. This also has some of the most scorchingly hot not-quite-sex ever written. Seriously. How can something be so fucking hot when everyone’s wearing two layers of clothing? Beats me.)

Rock ‘n’ Roll Queer Bar (series) by ChasingRabbits Rated E 126.7k Summary: Ellen and Jo Harvelle run Harvelle's Roadhouse, a bar that unintentionally becomes a beacon for wayward queer souls. Her employees: Dean, the smartass runaway with a big heart and bigger mouth; Castiel, the college drop-out turned hippie; his (surprisingly heterosexual) trouble-making brother Gabriel; and Charlie, who has been told several times that the back room is not to be used for after-hours Dungeons & Dragons games. But there's a lot of love in this place, and a new family for anyone who may otherwise be without. (Reccer’s note: The description doesn’t really do this series justice. This is the most realistic and beautifully and believably written long-term relationship I have ever read. They go through so much together, and they do it all TOGETHER. It’s beautiful. I devoured this in a day and a half, then went right back to the beginning and read it all over again. It’s Just. That. Good.)

Lots more under the cut!

....Shorts....

Angel-Mine by reluctant Rated E 4.3k Summary: Cas exhaled. "When an angel's wings are injured," he said to his feet, "the healing process can be augmented by… grooming, I suppose, would be the most accurate word. Removal of the maimed feathers to allow growth of healthy ones. Otherwise, they're left to fall out alone." He tilted his head towards the nightstand. "As you see." Dean stared at him. "So… that's why I can't help?" he said slowly. "'Cause I can't, y'know… see 'em? Or touch 'em?" "Yes," Cas said, slightly too quickly, and Dean snorted. "You're still a shitty liar, Cas," he informed him. "What ain't you tellin' me?"

Casturbatus Interruptus by smallhorizons Rated E 6.1k Summary: post-9.01, in a slight AU wherein Cas comes to live with the Winchesters at the Bunker. Written before 9.03. Crossposting from Tumblr. Written for a prompt from hightopsandsharpies: "Okay, so Cas is a virgin, and has no idea what pleasure is and Dean decides to show him and Cas gets all cuddly and needy afterwards." Dean walks in on Cas masturbating. He’s doing it all wrong, but when you’re a bazillion-year-old virgin, that’s to be expected. Dean decides to lend him a hand in a totally platonic, non-romantic way. Things get a little out of control.

Angelus Domini by xylodemon Rated E 3.2k Summary: "You're a fucking dick," Dean says, right to God's face. (Reccer’s note: In which Dean and Sam gain some heavenly grace and Dean and Cas don’t waste any time at all.)

we can watch the white doves go by xylodemon Rated E 2.7k Summary: "Wait," Dean says, just as the door snicks closed. It comes out as barely whisper; he clears his throat and tries again, a little louder this time. "Cas, I -- wait."

Oh! Darling! by castielsdemons Rated M 6.6k Summary: Now that Castiel has fallen, Dean wants to let him know how much he cares about him. And if it takes two or three (or eight) tries to get it right, then so be it. Or, the seven times Dean tried to tell Cas he loves him and the one time he actually got it right.

....Mid-length....

The Curious Case of Dean’s Missing Libido by thejabberwock Rated E 7k Summary: It’s been weeks since Castiel told Dean he loves him. Weeks since Dean answered him with a kiss. It’s been weeks, and they haven’t had sex.

Pronoun yourself out of this one, Dean by zation Rated E 11k Summary: When Dean gets hit by a gender-swapping witch spell it not so fun for anyone, until it’s kinda fun. Or, The one where Dean gets to discover a whole lot of new things. Like what nice hands Cas has, for instance.

Freckles by 2spooky4u Rated E 7k Summary: "I had to draw all them perfectly," Cas insists, and Dean suddenly can't get rid of the image of Cas, clutching on to a Crayola washable marker, jamming it into his skin forcefully like a little kid mashes his markers on the paper in a vehement attempt to make the color deeper. "And now you're insulted 'cause I don't appreciate 'em?" Dean asks, bewildered. "No," Cas lies petulantly. "Huh." The stubborn child version of Cas Dean has painted in his mind is now clutching his paper possessively, shielding it from scrutiny.They drive in silence for a while. "Thank you for making my freckles," Dean grouses finally, knowing that it's the only way Cas will forgive him. ((((OR, IN WHICH CAS LIKES DEAN AND HIS FRECKLES, AND DEAN IS STUBBORNLY HETEROSEXUAL))))

Sam Accidentally Sees the Whole Picture by almaasi Rated E 10.4k Summary: Sam's been through a lot lately, what with tonight's hunt rendering his skin an aching shade of purple and all. He can deal with Dean being overly concerned about Cas' broken finger, and - God help him - he puts up with the sound of their preposterously soppy love confessions and first kisses on the adjacent bed. But he cannot be expected to remain silent and feign sleep throughout the entire duration of their first-ever lovemaking session. He just can't. Especially not, because it seems apparent that Cas is more intent on deflowering himself than letting Dean do it.

The Things We Did (But Never Spoke Of) (series) by BadassCompany Rated E 17.9k Summary: Now and then, when there is quiet from the bloodshed and chaos of the world, I think of Dean Winchester. About the things we did; beautiful, glorious, rough skin and wet lips; but never spoke of. He didn't want to talk, only to feel, and I didn't know what to say. ~A partially complete series of canon compliant smutty oneshots.~

worthy by jad Rated E 14.8k Summary: "... you wanna what, now?" Dean asks, because he definitely didn't hear that right.Castiel tilts his head, a leftover tick from his angel days that Dean would be lying if he claimed to find anything but idiotically endearing. He knows this is his own fault, owing to that rather memorable moment a week ago when Cas wandered into this very same kitchen with a (fairly) legitimate question and Dean just didn't know when to shut up.

The Adventures of Real Anal Sex (Starring Dean and Castiel) by tiptoe39 Rated E 9.7k Summary: This is how it really happened. Because this is how it really happens. Thanks for the tweet, Astroglide -- product placement is now yours! (Reccer’s note: Adding some of the relevant tags: Awkward Sexual Situations, yes people go to the bathroom in this fic. Butt stuff ain’t always Harlequin Romance perfect, but honestly? It’s better that way.)

Go with the Flow by starsinursa Rated E 7.6k Summary: The smug bastard obviously think he’s won this argument, because there’s no way Dean is following him into a yoga class. The day Dean starts saluting the sun and humming ‘om’ under his breath like he’s part of some creepy hive mind like the Borg Collective, well, he might as well just start making his own potpourri and frequenting vegan bakeries, too. Not gonna happen.So yeah, Cas is right, damn him. There’s no way in hell Dean is following him into a yoga class. There’s no way. There’s no way –- ahhh, fuck. Fuck it all.

....Novellas/Novels....

Oxymora by thejabberwock Rated E 27.6k Summary: Good things don’t happen to Dean, so he’s not even surprised when Cas tells him he misunderstood the I love you. (Reccer’s note: This hurts so good. The payoff is worth the pain. Warning for Dean/others.)

riptides by sharkfish (waitforspring) Rated E 39.9k, WIP Summary: “I’m going to kiss you now.” Cas pauses, giving Dean a chance to back out, but Dean just licks his lips and waits. Cas’s mouth is up against Dean’s for a couple seconds before Dean responds, and then it’s Cas that’s being kissed senseless, because kissing is definitely not something Dean does tentatively. Dean reaches up to cup Cas’s jaw in his hand, tilting his head for a better angle, mouth plush, tasting like whiskey. Cas tries to remember what it was like the first time he kissed a man. All-encompassing, the world jerking off its axis, the feel of stubble under his fingers intense in a way it never really is with women, as much as he loves them.

Cabin Fever by Dangerousnotbroken Rated E 35k Summary: Due to a romantic-comedy level booking blunder, grumpy stress-case Dean and reclusive writer Castiel end up shuttled off to the same remote cabin for two weeks, and nobody seems to care that neither of them wants to be there. But since they’re stuck in the same cabin for the duration of their vacation, they might as well play nice and make the best of it right? Wrong. Dean’s so stressed out he can’t sit still, Cas can’t boil water without setting the place on fire, and they’re so on each other’s nerves it’ll be a miracle if either of them survives until their rides home arrive. At least the tension is just social, and not sexual, right? Right?

traveling light by sharkfish (waitforspring) Rated E 42.8k Summary: Cas is, impossibly, far more gorgeous in person, and he’s taller than Dean expected, and he moves with this casual grace that makes Dean’s brain short circuit.So Dean thinks he probably looks a little like a deer in the headlights when Cas catches his eyes from the door of the restaurant. He breaks out into a smile, the full, wide one that never came out in his pictures, and Dean actually goes weak in the knees. “Cas,” Dean says.“Hello, Dean,” Cas says. (Reccer’s note: Cas is FtM trans in this story and it gives me... so many feels.)

What Once Was Sacred by saltandbyrne Rated E 55.8k Summary: Los Angeles detective Dean Winchester works tirelessly to atone for the sins of his father one case at a time. When his best friend Charlie drags him to visit Sam at his new job, Dean stumbles onto a bizarre string of deaths that brings him uncomfortably close to his past.Dean can't stop thinking about Castiel, an enigmatic DJ who plays the sexiest music Dean's ever heard. A chance encounter at Castiel's house reveals that Castiel is an incubus, and Dean must face the lies and the reality of his childhood as a hunter. Dean comes to see that he and Castiel have more in common than he thought, and that guilt can be the hardest thing to cast aside.

the taste of gravel in the mouth by beenghosting Rated E 22.4k Summary: This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore. (Reccer’s note: Warning for angst.)

PWP: Pie Without Plot by MajorEnglishEsquire, orange_crushed Rated M 82.5k Summary: he is in the kitchen with flour on his hands and an apron and there is flour on his forehead and cas leans across the counter and wipes it off with his thumb and dean says "thank you" and cas says "you’re welcome" very seriously and later dean makes apple turnovers and he only ruins them a little and sam realizes it’s not a real hunt like four days into it and he lets dean stay undercover for like a week and a half or longer maybe way longer because he is such a good everything (Reccer’s note: Warning for fluff.)

Strangers on a Bus by Terene Rated E 59.7k Summary: Castiel is flummoxed. This is a social situation he is not equipped to handle. What is the protocol when the stranger sitting next to you on a bus, whom you incidentally find very attractive, falls asleep with his head on your shoulder?

And now, a Shameless Self Endorsement. Hope you stop by. ^__^

I’ve tagged a few authors here whose tumblrs I’m familiar with so @starsinursa @thejabberwock @xylodemon @reallyelegantsharkfish you’re in there! Many hearts to you, thanks for sharing your talents.

Others who might appreciate: @magnificent-winged-beast @daughter-of-the-rain-and-snow @saawek @sactownbrowns3 @rosemoonweaver @woahthisguy @suckerfordeansfreckles @rosemoonweaver @cas-essence @yourspecialeyes @yeneffersalamander @naruhearts @bae-in-a-trenchcoat @bend-me-shape-me @babyinthetrench @gneisscastiel @deaneatscake @silvie111 @jhoomwrites @tankewinchester @paperwhitenarcissus @thedogsled @helianthus21 @weathergirl83 @ltleflrt

#fic recs #destiel fanfic #fanfiction #destiel fic rec #other people's fanfiction #to read #want to read #follower celebration #fanfic rec list #destiel fanfiction #destiel fic

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iris-writes-things · 6 years

Text

Crazy, Millennial Love Story chapter 9

Read on AO3, FF.net or under the cut!

After years of near radio silence, Shiro follows up on an invitation to have dinner with the Holts; the family he had carefully avoided since getting Matt and himself into an accident 3 years ago. On top of that, Pidge has an announcement to make!

Chapter 9 of ? Ongoing 2226 words Modern/romance

Shiro stood silently in front of the Holts' front door for a solid five minutes, contemplating whether he should ring the doorbell or go home. Deep down, Shiro knew Keith was right. Besides, now that he'd made contact with Katie-- Pidge again, there was no way he could avoid the family forever. They were a family of cops and cryptid hunters after all. If they wanted him, they'd find him.Finally, he took a deep breath and pressed the damn button. He flinched when the door was opened immediately, only to be greeted by Matt's smiling face. "H-How long were you standing there?!"

"About as long as you." He said, looking at his watch. "Give or take five minutes?"

"Was it really that long?" Shiro asked, growing flustered in embarrassment.

"Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you didn't bail on us." Matt said, ushering him inside, patting his back reassuringly. "Hm, no Keith?" He noted.

"No, he's taking pictures at his first wedding."

"Ah, so he's finally getting his photography thing off the ground, huh? You can take home whatever we don't eat today, so he won't miss out." Matt smiled.

Shiro found himself forcing a smile back, awkward and disingenuous, but it quickly faltered. He hoped Matt hadn't noticed, and when the other pushed him into the front room, he figured as much.

"Guys, look who's here!" Matt announced cheerfully.

The inside of the house was just as cute and quaint as he remembered it, very little had changed after all. The walls had been painted a slightly off-white, and the furniture was slightly rearranged, but other than that, it was the same. Where there was no furniture occupying the wall space, the walls were covered with family photos, meticulously arranged in chronological order. Shiro had been there for most moments since Matt’s teenage years, but he noticed there had been new additions to the photo wall since he last visited. Holy crap, had Pidge already graduated high school? She must have been so disappointed in him...

"Shiro!" Was the only warning he got, a mere fraction of a second before a much smaller body threw itself at him

"Oof..." He groaned from the sudden impact. "Hey Pidge."

"Honey, be careful with our guest, will you?" Her mother, warned. It was strange to Shiro, seeing the medical examinor in her very homey open kitchen instead of her cold lab in the precinct’s basement.

"Don't worry, he’s been tackled by people three times her size and made it out okay.” Matt chuckled.

“Only because you picked the fights. Don’t think I never read through your partner’s paperwork, son.” His father teased, glancing up from his newspaper.

“Aah, good times.” Matt sighed, a nostalgic grin plastered on his face.

“I’m really fine, dr. Holt, captain.” Shiro said as he attempted to pry their daughter off him.

The two looked at each other for a moment in surprise. “You know you can just call us by our names, right? We’re all friends here, Shiro.” Dr. Holt, Colleen, said, carefully choosing her words.

“Yeah, friends…” Shiro couldn’t help but look down as the feeling of guilt crept back up on him, spreading through his chest and mind like poison. His lip quivered, and his grip on Pidge tightened ever so slightly.

“Shiro?” The little girl whispered.

“Dude, are you okay?” Matt asked, reaching out for him, but Shiro recoiled, staying out of his reach. Matt’s face fell, he sighed. “Shiro, listen, it’s not like you didn’t lose anything that night. Hell, if anything, you lost more than me.” He mumbled, staring at his friend’s prosthetic arm.

“But you lost your future as a detective.” Shiro argued. “There’s no way you’ll get through the city police’s psych evaluation, and that’s because of me.”

“And neither will you! How long will it take to get that through your thick skull?! Look, I’m seeing a therapist to get back on my feet, and who knows, maybe I’ll be a detective like dad someday, but right now I’m having the time of my life working as a private detective and helping Pidge with her monster hunting. Just because maybe you weren’t as ambitious as I was doesn’t make what happened to you any more okay than what happened to me! And I know you’re getting there too thanks to Keith, but I’m going to need you to let go of that night, and for the love of God, stop avoiding us. We miss you.”

“You done, buddy?” Pidge asked, looking up at her brother. “I think you broke him.” She said as she nodded towards him.

“Uh-oh…”

Shiro stood speechless and unmoving, mind racing to catch up with what the Hell just happened. It was small and weak, his voice trembled when he spoke a few moments later. “I know. And I’m sorry, I knew I shouldn’t have avoided you guys, but there was just always this nagging voice at the back of my mind that you guys would never forgive me…” His voice was barely above a whisper as tears started to form in his eyes.

“It’s okay, Shiro. You’re here now, that’s what counts.” Captain Holt, Sam, smiled, placing an encouraging hand on Shiro’s shoulder.

“And, for what it’s worth, we never blamed you for what happened. Not for one second. You just got a call for backup and answered it. You couldn’t have known they would gang up on you guys. It was an accident. It could have happened to any officer in the area.” Colleen added, cupping Shiro’s face in her hand, forcing him to look at the melancholy expression on her face. “If you’d like, you could still come over for dinner once a month. You know, like you used to.” She offered.

“Yeah! He deserves at least one decent meal every month.” Pidge piped up. “Keith can come too! Or your girlfriend, maybe.”

“Girlfriend?” Matt asked, turning to Shiro, who only shrugged and smiled apologetically. “Shiro, you sly dog! When were you planning to tell me?”

“She’s not technically my girlfriend, yet. But I’d like her to be.”

“I sent my friend Allura that same Buzzfeed article I sent you. You know, the one with Shiro’s naked torso?” Pidge said, shit-eating grin plastered on her face. “She went on a date with him the very next week.”

“H-hey, that was for business! She wanted me to model for her…”

“And by ‘your friend Allura’ you mean your hot friend Allura, right?” Matt asked his little sister, ignoring Shiro’s excuse.

“Smoking.” Pidge pointed out, smirking devilishly at Shiro, who tried and failed to hide his embarrassment, burying his face in his hands.

“Oh my God, Shiro, you lucky bastard!” Matt chuckled, punching his friend in the arm. “Seriously, if she likes you as much as you like her--”

“And she does.” Pidge cut in.

“You should totally go for it!”

“A-are you sure?” Shiro asked them, stammering.

“Yes, we’re sure.” The Holt siblings insisted in unison.

“Just trust me, you have more than a chance with Allura. You guys are seriously good for each other.” Pidge winked, elbowing him in his right side.

“And if you need any help, we’d be more than happy to.” Matt said, mirroring his sister’s motions and elbowing him in his left side.

Shiro couldn’t help but laugh. Seriously, these two seemed to be linked on a telepathic level. It was like they should have been twins, but had been born seven years apart for some odd reason. “Okay, if you guys say so…” he drew a deep breath. “I guess I’ll give it a more serious shot.”

The siblings cheered, only to be cut off by their mother.

“It’s great that you guys are having fun, but can you please come and have dinner before the food cools down again?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Even though Shiro had been hesitant to join the Holts initially, he was glad he showed up after all, and even more grateful that Colleen always made enough Thanksgiving dinner to last the family three days. If he was completely honest, this was the best home cooked meal he had eaten in literal years.

It was making him sentimental, not just about the good food, but about sharing it with so many people he loved, as well. Of course, Shiro loved Keith too, but it was different in a way. These were people he had called family for years before suddenly breaking almost all contact with them. The fact he was now re-establishing that relationship felt surreal to him, but in the best kind of way.

“Okay, so, now that we’ve all had dinner and everyone seems to be in a good mood, I have an announcement to make.” Pidge said as she stood up from her chair.

Shiro glanced around the table to find Pidge’s parents and brother wearing the same surprised expression as he was.

“Alright… I’ve been thinking about this for a very long time… And breaching this topic is pretty hard, because it’s both a complicated concept, and I have no idea how you guys are going to react to this, but anyway, here goes nothing.” She paused to take a deep breath before continuing. “So, uh, you know how computers work on binary code, right? Zeroes and ones?”

Shiro nodded, assuming the rest of the family did so too, prompting her to go on.

“Okay, so, like, that’s also the way society tends to look at gender identity, right? Even on the rare occasion the mainstream talks about transgender people, we’re still talking men and women, zeroes and ones, a binary of gender identities, if you will.” She said as she adjusted her glasses. “But it’s weird, because we all know there are more numbers in the Arabic numeral system than just zeroes and ones, right? So it’s not really that far-fetched to think that there are more than two gender identities. Like, if boys are zeroes and girls are ones, then twos could be agender people, bigender people could be threes, demiboys and demigirls could be fours and fives, and so on! There’s like a bazillion different gender identities out there that each don’t fit in the traditional gender binary, and what I’m trying to say is that I don’t fit in the traditional gender binary either, and I’ve decided I’m not gonna try to fit inside it anymore. So... If you guys could call me Pidge and refer to me with gender-neutral pronouns like they/them from here on out, that’d be great. Thanks for coming to my TED talk, I guess.”

The family kitchen was quiet for a time, but there was no real tension. Not like Shiro expected. Everyone was just collecting their thoughts, Shiro assumed. He knew he was. However, he could read in Pidge’s face that they were feeling the non-existent tension nonetheless. The speech they had just delivered was heartfelt and obviously came from deep within the kid, but was practiced and worded in a way that made the concept easy to understand. Despite being bi himself, he had never met many trans people, let alone non-binary ones. He had a lot left to learn, he felt.

Finally, the silence was shattered when Sam spoke up. “Honey, I’m glad you discovered this about yourself. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to open up about this.”

“Exactly. And if you ever need help with anything in regards to your self expression, you just let us know and we’ll do what we can.” Colleen added. Shiro was sure he heard Pidge letting out a relieved sigh. “You’re still our little baby, and we’ll do anything we can to make you as comfortable as possible.” She reassured.

“Thanks, mom. Thanks, dad.” Pidge mumbled, smiling, but tearing up a little.

Shiro looked at Matt, wondering what he had to say on the matter.

“Honestly? I knew this was coming. I’m just disappointed you didn’t use the powerpoint presentation you made.” Matt shrugged, the same old, stupid grin plastered on his face. “I’m proud of you though, no matter what.”

“I’m with Matt.” Shiro said simply. “I thought something was up when you asked me to call you Pidge instead of Katie, but I decided not to push.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t very subtle back there, was I?” Pidge giggled. “I’m so glad you guys are okay with it, though.”

“What can we say? We’ve always known you were different from the other kids, but that’s the best thing about you.” Sam smiled at them, prompting Pidge to hug him tightly.

“I love you guys so much.”

“And we love you, too.”

“Whoa, like, I always thought Pidge was a bit of a tomboy, but she’s not a girl at all?” Keith asked, looking at Shiro. His eyes wide like saucers.

“Nor a boy, apparently. Pidge is just Pidge.” Shiro yawned. “It’s actually a pretty nice way to look at it; not being a boy or a girl, but just being yourself…”

“I guess. I’m still very comfortable with being a man.” Keith shrugged.

“Me too.” Shiro yawned again, his eyes starting to droop in exhaustion. “I don’t know what you’re doing, but I’m gonna hit the hay. If you’re hungry, there’s turkey, mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie in the fridge.”

“Thanks Shiro.” Keith smiled. “Good night.”

“Good night, Keith.”

#fanfic #Voltron: Legendary Defender #modern AU #vld shiro #vld pidge

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missnimbus · 6 years

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Please tell me about your ocs! I'm excited now!

Ah thank you! I would love to talk about them!So I guess I should start by saying I'm planning to make a web comic when I get older and develop my art style/skills more? So that's where this is all stemming from.For now I'm just gonna talk about the main character who is a girl named Mahogany Todd. She's very sarcastic and kinda moody so she's a ray of sunshine to be around. She's 19 years old and lives alone in her apartment, and she's going through college. A typical normal girl.There really isn't much that's special about her, she's kind of like me. She's got short fluffy hair and a bazillion freckles (i love freckles) with big round glasses. Her wit is incredibly sharp, and what she lacks in physical strength she makes up for in intelligence. Her partner, who she meets when he crashes through her window, is the complete opposite. He's goofy, happy, and all around awesome, so you can imagine how much it annoys her sometimes. They do get along however.(Her partner also has this cute lil magic cat thing!!!!!)Basically she was chosen by God's most elite angels to save the world (wow such an original concept nobody has ever done that before), but what's funny is that she's aware of how cliché it is and is constantly making snarky comments about it.It's a good thing most of them have a sense of humor.Mahogany lives by herself because not only is she somewhat of a loner but also because she and her mother are kind of distant. They don't exactly have a good relationship. It's not abusive or anything, they just don't know how to bond, so it was very easy for her to drift away. They love each other, but they don't know how to show it at all. She is on great terms with her big sister though, who is kind of a nervous ball of sunshine.She loves plants and is a giant nerd. I have more ocs who are a little more interesting if you would like to hear about those, I haven't exactly fully developed Mahogany yet.Tell me if y'all wanna know more about my characters! I'll post a pic of Mahogany sometime soon! :)

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psyclownsis-a-blog · 7 years

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Can you elaborate a little on how Joker helps Harley because given their canon history it really doesn't seem like he does more than stunt her mental growth and harm her

okay well the thing you have to keep in mind when i’m talking about this stuff is that i’m talking specifically about my interpretation of harley and my interpretation of her relationship with joker, not harley in general as a character, and you also have to keep in mind that there is a difference between harley being emotionally stable and happy and harley overcoming her mental illness and living a healthy life with healthy relationships. as for canon interpretations of her relationship with joker, they’ve had just as many fun moments as they have un-fun moments, and the way their relationship is written varies massively from series to series. you can argue all day one way or another about their relationship using nothing but canon evidence and you won’t get any closer to having 100% agreement on whether it’s good or bad (“bad and acceptable/enjoyable” or “bad and must be stopped immediately” are probably more accurate terms). something else to keep in mind is that i am talking specifically about joker helping harley come back to baseline after some kind of mental breakdown or upset, as opposed to joker helping harley become a better person or something (he doesn’t). so i’m? not? really sure if you’re genuinely asking or trying to be passive aggressive? but either way i’m gonna give you a genuine answer¯\_(ツ)_/¯

harley is delusional, her delusions are extremely pervasive and warp her entire grasp of reality, reality as she knows it is built on the concept of Good Guys and Bad Guys that joker instilled in her when he was her patient, okay, we’ve established this. the factors we have to look at to answer your question are:

harley’s mental illness and how it affects her daily life

joker’s relationship with harley/joker’s feelings for harley/the revenge arc

how being around joker affects harley’s mental health

how people other than joker tend to handle her mental illness and emotional needs

1. okay so! we’ve already talked about that first one a lot, but i’m gonna talk about it a little bit more just to clarify. the Good Guy/Bad Guy delusions were shaped and fostered by joker when she was his doctor (however, they did not originate with him; the best way i can explain it is that she/her pre-joker trauma planted the seed of her own delusions and he watered those seeds until they bloomed), but i don’t think he intended for them to become so strong, and he certainly didn’t intend to have to deal with her delusional ass for presumably the rest of his life. regression as a coping mechanism is also something joker tends to encourage in her, but it is something she was already doing before she met him. both of these things contribute to her inability or unwillingness to fully comprehend death/her inability to fully understand that she is hurting people, but that issue was initially shaped by trauma that occurred mostly outside of her experiences with joker (guy kopski’s death and arnold wesker’s death). these issues manifest as a regressed and childish persona: she has a very simplistic, childlike worldview, and a very simplistic, childlike resistance to unhappiness. on the level of daily life, this puts her at odds with some people, because they require her to act like an adult and take responsibility for her actions (ie, batman telling her she needs to be serious because “this isn’t a game” or something like that). joker is perfectly content to let her act however she wants as long as it doesn’t interfere with his own work/plans/whatever, so in that sense, he “helps” because he doesn’t challenge her worldview. this is not a healthy dynamic at all, but it’s a dynamic that allows harley to function happily within the parameters of her delusions and psychosis.

2. which brings me to the second point: joker and harley have been together on and off for about seven years at this point in my blog-canon timeline. they know each other better than anyone else. they can rely on each other. it hasn’t always been pretty, and it has certainly never been a healthy relationship, but they are more or less constants in each other’s lives. the fact that they have a relatively stable relationship at this point is entirely due to the revenge arc. the revenge arc takes place after the events of mad love and after harley’s recuperation time with poison ivy and catwoman. once she had recovered to mostly fighting-fit, harley took off, kidnapped joker, and spent several weeks methodically torturing him and inflicting every wound on him that he’d ever inflicted on her before dropping him off half dead at the gcpd. she was doing this out of anger, yes, but it wasn’t just anger. if it was just anger, she would have killed him. she still loved him. (is that healthy? no! this is fiction! relationships in fiction do not have to be healthy or unhealthy to be well-written or well-developed or interesting or even enjoyable! you can enjoy something in fiction while recognizing that it is unacceptable in reality and not wanting it to ever be reality! for example: zombie apocalypse scenarios!) her reasoning was that if he could go through all that and still want to be with her– if he felt the same way about their relationship as she did– then she would go back to him and they’d figure things out. if not, then she’d leave him in the dust. after some time, he did come back to her, and they’ve been (mostly) equal partners in crime ever since. their relationship is tumultuous and unhealthy, yes, but it’s more or less a constant in both their lives. they’re used to relying on each other and working with each other– they feel at home with each other in ways they rarely feel with other people. so in that sense, joker “helps” harley because they have a very well-established rapport, and he provides her with (relative) constancy and the sense of having a home she belongs to.

3. harley thinks and acts differently with joker than she does with other people. harley desperately needs to be liked and accepted, and in order to achieve that, she often compartmentalizes and puts on different “faces” with different people. (every human being on the planet does this, whether they realize it or not; it’s called facework and you probably have it to thank in part for getting your job, starting your relationships, and a bazillion other things). being with him, and thus being exposed to his mindset and manifestos, pushes her to adopt a more violent and less empathetic face. that being said, being with him encourages her to fall deeper into her psychosis, to view the world in extremely simple and child-like terms. she doesn’t have to think about who she is as a person or what she deserves or what she’s truly capable of doing; she can just fall into this old familiar role. and this role fits her. this role was created for herself, by herself. so in this sense, joker “helps” her by not putting her in situations where she feels some kind of internal struggle, which can lead to mental upset as i have discussed before.

3.5. note: being with poison ivy pushes harley to be a better person and adopt a less destructive and more empathetic face. joker may “help” harley by not challenging her at all, but ivy could help harley much more by constructively challenging her. however, their relationship (again, as i interpret it) does have obstacles to this end, and those will be discussed in the next bullet point.

4. people other than joker tend to react to her mental illness and emotional needs very poorly. they often expect her to be able to support herself completely on an emotional front, to function perfectly fine when alone on a mental front, and essentially seem to believe that harley is under some kind of evil influence from the joker which will magically remove itself with zero fallout once they break up. let me make this perfectly clear: harley had mental health problems long before she met joker. he did not somehow “make her crazy”; she had been prone to neuroticism and dramatic mood swings ever since she was a child, and the more severe psychosis she has today had been developing from the time of guy kopski’s death, several months before she ever met the joker. while the joker did influence the final shape and nature of harley’s mental illness, he was not at all the cause of it, and thus, his presence in or absence from her life is not going to dictate her ability to function. it is also worth noting that, due to her mental state, she would have fixated on anyone the way she fixated on joker-- she needed for someone to take care of her and make her feel part of something the way guy kopski did--, developed the same type of delusions and psychosis, and turned to a life of crime. all joker did was provide harley with an opportunity to act out the way she wanted to. so! that addressed, let’s move on to how people other than joker tend to handle her mental illness and emotional needs: most notably, batman, bruce wayne, poison ivy, and catwoman.

batman. batman constantly exploits her mental illness and her emotional weaknesses. while this is understandable as a way for the hero to get the upper hand in his conflicts with the villain, that does not make it okay, and it certainly does not do anything to make harley’s lifestyle healthier. batman does not come from a perspective of wanting to help harley. batman comes from a perspective of wanting to hurt and disorient harley enough that he can take her out quickly and easily. this happens so often that his go-to method for handling harley at this point seems to be “if i can’t take her out within the first three hits, i’m going to start pushing buttons until she breaks down”. it’s cruel. it’s unhealthy. it pushes her further and further down the rabbit hole of “i am just a Bad Guy doing my job and the Good Guys take things way too far and make everything hard for everyone else”. batman reacts in incredibly negative ways to her mental illness, and he dismisses her emotional needs entirely in order to reach his end goal of catching joker or ivy or whoever harley’s working with, seemingly with no care over how his actions are going to affect her mental or physical health. additionally, he justifies these actions-- which, personally, i classify as going past the realm of standard hero/villain damage and into the realm of straight up abuse-- by victim blaming her for her own psychosis and drastic emotional needs (both of which are almost entirely the result of some kind of trauma or neglect in her life), essentially, if not literally, saying “normally, i wouldn’t be this mean to somebody, but since she’s boning my greatest enemy, she must be insane, and we’ve been doing this for so long that she must be a lost cause, and since joker’s not here, i’m just gonna take out all my rage on her, and like, if she didn’t want me to do this, she should just stop being mentally ill and doing things in ways that are dictated by her mental illness and unfulfilled emotional needs”. (see: mad love, where he manipulates her into calling the joker even though he knows it will certainly result in her being hurt, and then does absolutely nothing to address the fact that joker pushed her out of a 4-6 story window which probably killed her. like, i’m not trying to be a villain apologist here, that’s the last thing i want, but that is? a really shitty thing for batman to do? and if he didn’t treat harley like that over and over again i would say it was super out of character for him to (a) let it happen in the first place and (b) not seem to care if it killed her at all? but he does treat her that way? repeatedly? constantly? i’ve made a post about it before and this is already getting super long so i’m not gonna list all the other times he pulls this shit on her but like. trust me when i say “batman exploiting harley’s mental illness in ways he knows will get her hurt and then not caring about how badly hurt she gets and justifying it with the grossest victim blaming logic” is pretty much the go-to routine for their fights now.)

bruce wayne. yes, bruce and batman are the same person, but harley doesn’t (consciously) now that, and the two personas react to her mental illness in drastically different ways. batman comes from a perspective of violent and impulsive exploitation, but bruce comes from a perspective that’s... well... almost a calmer and more calculated exploitation. does bruce want to help her shape up re-enter society? yes. does bruce put personal investment into helping harley do that? sometimes, yes. is he doing it more or less out of the goodness of his own heart? yes, absolutely. but here’s the thing: bruce only tries to help harley once harley is no longer perceived a threat to batman. bruce’s good will towards harley is entirely conditional. he has left her to rot in arkham just as much as, if not more than, he has come to her aid about parole. he follows the fallacy that joker has some kind of evil influence on her, and that once that influence is removed, she’ll be perfectly normal. that’s not how it works. a good example of this is in the detective comics issue where harley and batman team up to defeat ventriloquist ii: bruce, as a member of arkham’s board, denies harley parole at the beginning of the comic, despite her being clearly desperate to prove she’s ready to re-enter society. later, as batman, he has no sympathy for her mourning of the original ventriloquist or her anger that his title and m.o. has been taken by someone else-- not even with the knowledge that the original ventriloquist was her only friend in arkham, and were it not for him, she probably would have committed suicide. it’s not until the very end of the comic, after harley has acknowledged that arnold wesker was a criminal and turns herself back into arkham-- essentially, after she submits to batman as the moral standard who is always right in his eyes (not “after she admits that she has made poor decisions and is trying to atone for her actions as a criminal” or “after she explains to him that her perception of morality may be different but that does not mean it is entirely wrong and invalid”, both of which she does if i’m remembering correctly, but “after she submits to him as the moral standard who is always right in his eyes” by acknowledging wesker’s villainy and not resisting when he brings her back to arkham). again: bruce’s actions do fall into a pattern that is more or less default for hero/villain dynamics, but given the context of these interactions and the way they repeat over and over again, his actions begin to move outside the realm of standard hero/villain interactions and into the realm of abuse.

poison ivy. ivy loves harley! harley loves ivy! that does not change the fact that they both have their own individual problems that can foster an unhealthy relationship dynamic at times! ivy wants harley to break away from joker entirely because ivy has been in an abusive relationship (jason woodrue) and broken out of that abusive relationship and understands both how difficult it can be and how much better your life will be if you do get out. that’s awesome! that’s great! ivy loves harley and she wants to see harley grow as a person, to be more independent, to be stronger emotionally. those are all honorable and good and altruistic and healthy things for ivy to want for harley. however, in order for harley to achieve that, she needs someone who understands that the joker isn’t just her partner, he’s part of her backstory that cannot be erased. she won’t ever be able to leave him behind and say “i wish i never met him” or “i am what i am because of me and he had nothing to do with it”, and she would never want to, because it simply isn’t true. but, that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t ever want to leave him behind, period. the problems with harley and ivy’s relationship stem from ivy’s inability to understand the full extent of harley’s relationship with and feelings for the joker; thus, when harley expresses something to the extent of “this man was a huge part of my life and it wasn’t super horrible and it made me who i am so i’m not going to dismiss it and may even remember it fondly”, ivy hears something like “i owe this man my life and because of my perceived debt to him for ‘creating’ me i am reluctant to completely break away from him”. so ivy tries to force harley to cut joker out of her life, which harley can’t do, and since ivy does not understand the full extent of harley’s relationship with joker, she can’t provide adequate emotional support if harley needs it in the process of breaking away from him, and it is just. a huge mess. and i hope and pray with all my sapphic heart that one day harley and ivy will sit down and talk frankly and get this all out in the open so they can live happily ever after without joker coming in to fuck everything up. or ivy/harley/joker happens. like-- i’m not picky. i just want harley to be happy. but yeah, anyway, back to what i was saying: ivy reacts to harley’s mental illness and emotional needs pretty well, except when it comes to stuff about joker, which comes up a lot, and so whenever they come close to making any progress they kind of sabotage themselves and it all falls apart.

catwoman. selina and harley’s dynamic here is pretty similar to ivy and harley’s in this sense, i think, except that selina seems generally content to live and let live wrt harley and joker as long as he/his relationship with harley doesn’t become a problem in her own life. the problems with selina and harley come from harley being unable to reconcile selina’s gray morality with her own Good Guys vs. Bad Guys worldview. selina may not understand harley’s psychosis or her relationship with joker entirely, but she doesn’t have the same bias that ivy does about it, and that allows selina to be more supportive of harley emotionally. however, selina and harley have had various fights and falling outs over the years, and given harley’s mindset, it’s easy for harley to convince herself that selina is either 100% A Bad Guy And Safe To Be Around or 100% A Good Guy Who Is A Traitor And Deserves To Die. it also doesn’t help that harley sees selina’s relationship with batman almost the same way selina sees her relationship with joker: acceptable as long as the man remains at arm’s length, because if he gets too close, the woman will choose him over her friends. the basic issue between selina and harley, i think, is that selina does not address and often does not acknowledge harley’s relationship with joker until it becomes a problem, and by then, it is no longer a discussion, it is selina telling harley what her options are. harley sees this as a double standard, given selina’s relationship with batman, and from there it is very easy for her to see selina as a Good Guy in disguise and deem them enemies. it’s not something selina does; it’s harley’s inability to process what selina does in a healthy way. (note: imo, selina has every right to handle harley and joker’s relationship this way, and she is one of very few people in harley’s life who provide her this kind of “me or him” discipline in a way that’s not an ultimatum. she lets harley do her thing and she doesn’t want to be involved in that thing and when that thing is over she and harley can get back together again, and as long as that thing doesn’t infringe on selina’s life, she doesn’t really pay it any mind. compared to harley’s other relationships, that’s actually a pretty healthy dynamic.)

so! wowza! this got really long! now you see why it was in my drafts for months on end! to summarize: i am talking here specifically about joker helping harley return to baseline operations after some kind of mental upset, not about joker helping harley on a more holistic level, because he really doesn’t. however, there is a difference between him not helping her and him actively sabotaging her. he does not actively sabotage her (anymore). joker and harley have known each other for the better part of a decade, and they know each other better than anyone else; they have an established rapport and they are essentially each other’s home. because of this, joker often understands her mental illness and emotional needs better than others, and is better able to give her what she needs in regards to grounding and support after a mental breakdown. many people in harley’s life react to her mental illness and emotional needs very poorly or even exploit it for their own ends, or they may unsuccessfully try to support her because they do not understand her needs. this is not to say that everyone except joker is terrible at helping harley recover, nor is it to say that joker is the only one who understands harley’s mental illness and emotional needs-- for example, jonathan crane has known harley since she was in college, and given his profundity in psychiatry, he’s probably better at helping her recover than joker is. arnold wesker, when he was alive, also helped her just as much if not more than joker does. ivy could help harley much more than joker-- on all levels-- if she and harley addressed the miscommunications and misunderstandings between them.

i hope this makes sense and i hope it wasn’t too hard to read orz and thank you for sending this question and the other ones before it, they were very involved and have made me delve into harley’s character much deeper than i have been lately. peace dude ✌

#Anonymous #answered

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tumblunni · 7 years

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Random more ideas for my Pokemon Cosmos fangame that will probably never happen because I am awful at creating things, but its fun to imagine as a distant dream to cheer me up on sad days~! And cos I talked with @summon-daze and she gave me really great suggestions! (if I missed anything you said yesterday, message me and I’ll add it here! I want everyone to hear your Fab Thoughts!)

* Maractus: sinnoh form! Its just a poor pokemon that deserved better. Giving it some sort of visual and mechanical revamp would help it step out from under cacturne’s shadow. My idea was maybe a different type of cactus, or a related plant. Like perhaps an aloe vera form that has healing moves!

* Pokemon contests replaced with EVIL MINIGAMES Like, how the Pokeathelon stats were all coloured the same as contest stats and stuff. Do a thing like that but more streamlined! Just have this one set of out-of-battle stats and use them for multiple different minigames! And since the protagonist is an evil team grunt, you coud have stuff like stealth, lockpicking, hacking, etc! Use a koffing as a smokescreen to swipe some cash!

* A possible other idea, or possibly both? Maybe THE PLAYER could have contest stats instead! Like the social stats in persona games, but for fun they could be the same interface as pokemon contests. Daze gave me some really cool suggestions like how ‘cuteness’ could mean how good you are at hiding your true intentions when the police interrogate you. I was thinking coolness could equal charisma/good at talking/whatever, so cuteness could be ‘innocence’. And like, if you just have it on its own then it might mean you actually are more of a good guy villain. But if you max out both cuteness and toughness then you become a super scary evil boss who can intimidate their minions but also manipulate people with false goodness.

* Following pokemon, but more! The cute idea of seeing other trainers having following pokemon in cutscnes sometimes, and stuff. I always really love seeing pokemon just living life around the world map, it always adds so much more worldbuilding! I loved the ride pokemon and the machamp delivery service and the various farming ranch places in different games. But what if you could just see more random lil animations of mons hanging out as npcs? Have some wild murkrow fluttering around on alleyway rooftops when it becomes nighttime. Have your rival character appear training their pokemon randomly on routes sometimes, like an actual overworld animation of it, not just battling them. Bits of supplementary visual storytelling! And I figured maybe the evil admins could have their own unique rooms, like in ORAS. But cos you’re playing as one of the team, you get to actually see them hanging around the room and stuff. See them playing with their mons while off duty! Who would have a pet bed? Who would just let their giant skuntank sleep on the foot of their own bed? Who would buy a bazillion squeaky toys? Who would spend all their time grooming thier mons for a secret Contest career on weekends? So many potential ideas! Hell, maybe just have some random events like sometimes if you open a certain cupboard a pokemon will jump out before you actually get to look in it. Tiny ghost friend is sleepe on de paperwork~ Oh, and it could be cool if following pokemon still happened even when you have a double battle partner! You get to see their pokemon too, followinmg after yours! Oh, and maybe depending on what pokemon you have, there’s a small chance of some secret animations? i was thinking maybe Cheryl’s chansey would carry small pokemon on her head.

* OH AND YEAH. Bigger role for the stat trainers! I was so happy Daze helped me figure this out, cos this totally solves so many problems I had with the early game plot and tutorial gameplay and stuff. The ‘stat trainer’ group that were sidequests in original sinnoh and partners in the battle frontier- here they could be like the supporting social links! A problem I had was that of course you cant just immediately be best friends with all the evil admins as soon as you join the team. So I was thinking I’d have to make up a bunch of new characters to carry the plot early on, but repurposing the stat trainers for this purpose would be awesome! They could be your set of ordinary friends you have while off-duty, and doing their friend routes helps train your social stats that you need to use to unlock the admin friend routes. So theyd actually literally be stat trainers!

* I’m not sure which social stats I should give to each of them though? I’m wondering at the moment about whether cheryl or mira should be ‘cuteness’. I mean, they’re both cute but who has it as more of a defining character trait? Honestly you could say either of them could work as toughness too, since cheryl is braving a haunted forest alone and mira is kicking ass in a big scary optional doom dungeon even though she’s like six years old! I can imagine mira’s route could more easily train toughness in the PLAYER though. Like, you’re inspired by seeing her being so brave and mature for her age, and you wanna try and look like a tough responsible older sibling figure to her. And hmm, cheryl’s personality was the most vague of them all, she could probably also symbolise beauty/elegance/composure if you wanna interpret it that way. Or she could be smartness, cos I dunno maybe if we looked for a reason why she was in that haunted dungeon in the first place, maybe she could be like a detective? That would be really neat if she still kept her personality and all, a very shy and humble detective that’s like ‘oh i’m not so great’ *is being great right now* Or maybe she’s not really a detective by career, but she could be like a paranormal investigator fan, or maybe she has a secret backstory that led to some reason she needs to find something in that forest, or maybe she’s not local to sinnoh and thats why she got lost, or maybe she was kidnapped by a villain and escaped but was stuck in the forest, or... well, cheryl’s vagueness has a lot of potential! Oh and Riley could also work as either smartness or beauty or coolness or... man all these undeveloped charries are just REALLY POTENTIAL in all five fundemental awesomenesses! It could work any way!

* Maybe they could have more inter-relating plots with gym leaders and other big plot figures? like how Buck is Flint’s brother. And there’s a small mention of Marley knowing Oak from kanto. I was thinking maybe cheryl and gardenia might know each other? or maybe cheryl could be related to a different grass type gym leader from another region. She just REALLY looks like she should be a grass type, but she’s all about the chanseys instead, lol! maybe she’s the black sheep of an all grass types family, and journeyed to sinnoh to start her own journey instead. So she could be like a sweet shy spoiled posh girl who maybe doesnt know entirely what she’s doing, and got wrapped up in [some sort of excuse for the forest sidequest] cos she was a little naive. But then when you team up with her you find out she’s actuallly a total badass stone wall strategist, and her relative inexperience at social situations doesnt mean she’s not a battle expert! And then maybe you could keep in touch with her while she lives at a hotel in one of the cities, and her continuing sidequests could involve you giving her tours of sinnoh and helping her send postcards back to her family. And.. like.. trying to hide the fact that she keeps getting into super dangerous situations, lol. Dear mom and dad I am completely fine and didnt beat up a bunch of villains with my bare knuckles this morning, here is my friend who absolutely didnt rescue me from forest ghosts. Oh, and maybe she could become friends with Fantina, because they could both relate to being from different regions. And fantina is just a very nice jolly person who probably does a bunch of community outreach programs in her neighbourhood and picks up litter in the hammiest way possible. i just imagine she tries to act like a mentor to anyone who even crosses her line of sight! lol, maybe her and crasher wake could even be rivals because of it? i imagine her teasing wake for getting a new student while wake is all like ‘gahhh please take this barry away, i keep telling him no’

* oh, and barry would be the unofficial sixth stat trainer. He’d still have a role in the plot as a friendly rival even though this is a perspective flip AU. I was thinking he doesnt know you’re actually one of the bad guys, so you end up being friends, and then when he finds out he tries to oppose team galactic in much the same way but now with an added plot of him believing there’s some good in you and trying to convince you to switch sides.

#pokemon cosmos ideas

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femslashrevolution · 7 years

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I Am Femslash by shiraglassman

This post is part of Femslash Revolution’s I Am Femslash series, sharing voices of F/F creators from all walks of life. The views represented within are those of the author only.

Hi! I’m Shira, and like many of you, I grew up frustrated at the lack of happy romances between women in most genres of literature. Come to find out, though, that these books do exist–they’re just hard to find because marginalization keeps them on the fringes of publishing, in independent presses and self-publishing (although things are getting better with books like The Abyss Surrounds Us and Of Fire and Stars coming from mainstream houses.)

I’ve done my best to try to signal boost the f/f books I’ve enjoyed recently, and that’s what I’m going to do in today’s post. This time, I’ll focus on books that don’t seem to be on the radar of sapphic Tumblr. We make it out of these books alive and paired up. Please check all reviews for TW’s.

Warming Trend by Karin Kallmaker - a suspense novel set in the world of glacier science. An academic scandal broke Ani’s heart and drove her away from Alaska and her partner, all the way to Florida. The plot involves putting everything right again with a cast of at least four lesbians. Here’s a link to my review.

For Sizakele by Yvonne Fly Onakeme Etaghene - love triangle between three Black women. The main character, a bi college student named Taylor, is Nigerian-American and bonds with a new friend from Cameroon over their shared Africanness. Meanwhile, her relationship with her established girlfriend frays at the edges. My review.

A Wartime Love by Shiralyn Lee - well-researched, PG-rated novel about two women falling in love during Germany’s attack on the UK in WII. They survive the bombings and spend their lives together. My review, which contains the line “I’m sure there are a bazillion ‘what we endured’ books like this, but this one has HAPPY LESBIANS so it’s special and different.”

Carolyn for Christmas by Lucy Carey - they were friends as youngsters but a misunderstanding drove them apart. Now they’re competing over who gets to sing the Christmas solo in church. PG-rated and set in Ireland; here’s my review.

Poppy Jenkins by Clare Ashton - set in a contemporary Welsh village, this one reminds me of what canonically f/f Anne of Green Gables would look like. The heroine is an out lesbian beloved by her neighbors; the love interest, who left town years ago and is back now, rubs them the wrong way. This one has been getting a lot of attention in the published f/f fiction world but apart from @fuckyeahlesbianliterature I don’t usually see people bring it up on Tumblr so I figured I’d signal boost.

And of course, no post on underappreciated f/f novels by me would be complete without a mention of Heather Rose Jones’s Alpennia books. When you watch costume dramas based on Jane Austen books or historical events, do some of you yearn for the girls to kiss each other and to pursue academic and business interests and even magic? Check out Daughter of Mystery, The Mystic Marriage, and Mother of Souls (links are to my reviews.) Set in early 19th century central Europe, each book adds new lesbians, bi women, and ace women, many of whom are friends with each other or form lifelong romantic partnerships. The books are chock full of political intrigue and personal drama.

If none of these appeal to you, there are plenty of other books like them out there. One good way to find them is to check the finalists (and winners) of the Golden Crown Literary Society each year. If high prices get in the way, consider finding your local library’s 'suggest item’ page and requesting them, or contacting the author or publishing house to ask if they might be willing to send you a review copy of the eBook (and then, of course, please review it!)

About Shira:

Shira Glassman is a bi violinist (biolinist?…) living in north central Florida. She is best known for her Mangoverse series, fluffy fairy tales centered on queer Jewish women; some of these novels have shortlisted in the Golden Crown Literary Society Awards and the Bi Book Awards. The most recent of these is The Olive Conspiracy, in which the series’ lesbian queen MC must save her country from agricultural sabotage that may or may not have been the work of the straight foreign princess she crushed on as a teenager. Shira has also written a number of short stories.

#shiraglassman #Shira Glassman #I Am Femslash #Femslash February #Femslash February 2017 #Type: Meta #Type: Review #Type: Book #submission

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thedanny522 · 4 years

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Originally wrote this for my blog, thought I'd repost it here (minus the links etc). Just my frustration with the make money online niche (and breaking into it... ethically). TLDR: I explain how to make money selling courses in an ironic, satirical way.I’m a struggling, bitter, internet marketing amateur and I’ve just about had it with all this guru malarkey. If you don’t want to read a rant then feel free to do a 360 and walk away.Someone recommended I check out a certain YouTuber who has videos titled with things like, “How I make $250,000 in passive income every month!” and “Learning THIS secret made me a millionaire!”I hate the Make Money Online niche so much.I hate it because I feel like I know all the tricks and yet they keep working on me.I know how to create funnels, do copywriting, create content and blah blah blah and yet I still watch this retarded value-less clickbait garbage.But after watching a portion of this last video I finally realized what these internet marketers do.Step 1: Make money selling a course about literally anythingThis is the first step in becoming an internet marketing guru.I would even argue that this is the hardest part and where most people get stuck because it essentially the would-be guru to figure out all the steps on their own.The steps are:Make a course about something you know aboutCreate a funnelDrive traffic with paid adsProfitCompleting these steps will give the guru credibility that they know what they’re talking about.Not only do they know how to do each step, but they’ll have actual PROOF that they know what they’re talking about when it comes time for the next step.Step 2: Sell ANOTHER course that teaches people how to sell coursesThe next step is for the marketer to take what they’ve learned, package it into 6 modules of 10-15 videos each, and sell it as a course.They then repeat the entire process above, but this time they use the proof of their sales, marketing material, and appropriate screenshots in their funnel.Make a course about how to make money selling coursesCreate a funnelDrive traffic with paid adsProfitIt’s at this point that the marketer has the ability to create additional social media web properties to market their products.They can start a blog, Facebook group, YouTube channel or whatever to give out little clickbait tidbits that teach people how to make money selling courses.Theoretically, they could do these things for step 1 as well. And frequently they do, offered as bonuses for signing up.Step 3: Sell ANOTHER course that teaches people how to make money selling courses on how to make moneyThis is perhaps the most “meta” of all the steps.Once the marketer has successfully completed steps 1 and 2, they then have the credibility to complete the third step.Only someone who has completed the first two steps can proceed to the third step.The third step is the most interesting and an excellent way to tell the true gurus apart from the posers.While it’s common at all three levels to see upsells and downsells, it’s at this level that we most frequently see the big money maker of them all: private consulting and/or mentoring groups.All the rage these days, mentoring is an excellent niche in and of itself. Instead of simply selling a course, you’re also selling your time as an expert to future would-be gurus.For the low low price of $997, aspiring gurus can get you on the phone for an hour a week where you will:teach them how to drive MASSIVE traffic to their funnel FOR FREE!give them the #1 SECRET of TRIPLING your revenue in under 30 days!show them an elite HACK for convincing influencers to partner with you!teach them how to get your clients to become RABID FANS!give them access to THE EXACT SAME ad copy used by top marketers!take them BY THE HAND and work together until they are READY TO DRIVE TRAFFIC!And don’t even get me started on the bonuses..Step 4: Create endless amounts of vague content that rehashes the same basic information over and over againWhat kills me about this formula is that I see it so MANY TIMES across SO MANY DIFFERENT MARKETERS that it makes me want to vomit.Not because it’s transparent, manipulative, and bordering on unethical.But because I want SO DESPERATELY to be able to do it and make a killing like they are.I watch these gurus’ videos, read their “articles,” skim their “value adding” Facebook drivel in hopes that I’ll get some sort of actionable tip instead of different versions of the same old garbage.You know what I’m talking about. Classics such as:Guys it’s all about one thing: ADDING VALUE.Figure out what problem your customer needs to solve, then offer a solution.Show your customers how their lives will be better after purchasing your product.Underpromise and overdeliver!This kind of thing makes me want to kick my dog.Does this ACTUALLY work on people?Sadly, it does. The amount of comments I see on this kind of garbage that are like,“Wow, you’re such an inspiration! So happy you finally made a million dollars, you deserve it!”“This was a great story. I especially like the part where you talked about how successful you were.”“Hope you’re taking notes guys, so much value here.”Please kill me.The worst part is that I hate myself for falling for it over and over again.I mean, to be fair I’m not really “falling for it.”These strategies all work. They’re all effective. And if you, me, or anyone else actually puts them into practice then they’ll probably get the same result.If you ask me, all the hate these gurus get is – get ready for it – UNFOUNDED.That may seem contradictory based my apparently unbridled rage against unethical internet marketers. But I don’t think my reasons for anger are much different than anyone else’s:We simply haven’t been able to sell the dream as successfully as the gurus have.(And yes, we’ve tried.)Step 5: Add complexity to cause insecurity (conveniently solved by purchasing another course)We bought the $7 ebook, the $47 course, the $67 upsell.We read your sales letters, watched your YouTube videos, signed up for your mailing lists. We devoured your lead magnets.And not just once – multiple times.Not only that, we might have even learned the requisite skills necessary to tie it all together.We learned copywriting so we could create sales letters of our own.We taught ourselves Photoshop (I personally prefer GIMP) so we could make our 3D book covers.We paid for MONTHS upon MONTHS of ClickFunnels – maybe even spent hundreds more on their never-ending list of info products.Maybe we even did the One Funnel Away Challenge… more than once.We created lead magnets, landing pages, full blown courses – all of it, everything.And yet, despite all this, we STILL haven’t been able to tie it together into anything profitable.The YouTube channel, the blog, Instagram account.. it’s all over the place. No semblance of order.What’s the famous quote?“Speak to everyone and nobody will listen.”To be fair, at this point I think it’s safe to admit that I’m just talking about myself here. I know it.How do I know? Because most people who fail DON’T fail because they did a lot of work and it just HAPPENED to be the wrong type of work.Most people fail because they don’t do anything at all.They sit on their butts, research all day, and then at the end of the day tell themselves that they’ll start FIRST THING TOMORROW.Yeah right.Me? I have the opposite problem.I’d rather write a 3000 word blog post and cry about my problems than think about how best to tie together the massive amount of content I’ve created in the past year.I want to make a full time living from this. I want to live the dream, you know?I want to be Tai Lopez. I want to be Tony Robbins. I want people to call ME a douchebag phony guru after seeing me talk about how I bought my new Lamborghini with knawledge.I want it. Fame, fortune, glory, money, women, power.. all of it.Anyone who says they don’t want those things really just gave up on acquiring them and is denying their desire. Classic sour grapes.They’ve decided they couldn’t have it, or that it would take too much work, and now they’ve convinced themselves that they never wanted those things anyway.That’s where we’re different. I still believe that it’s possible.And more importantly, I feel like I’m close.I have all the skills.I know how to write sales letters.I can use ClickFunnels.I can write a 100 email drip sequence that will make your pee pee hard every time.I can grow social media accounts.I can get clients with Paigham Bot.I can sell over the phone, face to face, even through email.I can do it all baby.I just.. I don’t know.. what is my problem?Maybe I don’t have one. Maybe it’s all in my head.Step 6: Tell people the reason they’re failing is because they’re not taking actionDidn’t we already go over the strategy in the beginning? Why wouldn’t it be the same for you?Make a courseCreate a funnelDrive traffic with paid adsProfitIt’s the same for everyone. For every niche on the planet.You’re only limited by your creativity.(…and the amount you can spend on paid ads before you turn a profit. But we’ll get to that in a second.)Not only that, but I actually know HOW to do everything I need to do to make it happen in ALL of those steps.“Creating a funnel” isn’t a singular activity – it involves like 100 different skills that I learned on my own because I didn’t have a dollar to pay overpriced freelancers.So what’s the missing piece? I’ll tell you: paid ads.When you’re at Step 1, there is no substitute for paid ads.You don’t just need people to sell to, you need the RIGHT people. The right age, gender, geographical location, income level, interests — they all need to be targeted.Everything I’ve seen points to using Facebook ads as the primary method new internet marketers get their first batch of traffic.Sure, once you get an audience and a little clout, you’ll get some organic traffic (and maybe even some customers) from there. But even then, there’s no guarantee that those people will buy from you. It’s not necessarily “buyer traffic.”You need to find people that are ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR what you’re selling.Your Facebook friends probably don’t care about your offer, even if it is in an evergreen niche like making money online or getting ripped.The secret to making money with ANY of this stuff is nailing down a reliable source of targeted traffic, showing them ads and funnels that convert, and cranking the dial until you get sick of watching your bank account go up.There does seem to be one alternative. In his book Traffic Secrets, Russel Brunson calls this “Finding your Dream 100.”The idea here is that you make a list of the 100 most influential people in your industry and contact them with a gimmick like a physical card with a video screen as a way to stand out from the crowd.It’s clever, gotta give him that.But does it work?Probably.Have I tried it?No.Step 7: Talk about how easy the process is and how anyone who still hasn’t figured it out is an idiotAnd THAT’S what kills me – I know it probably works, I just haven’t tried it because I don’t have the $500 for actual cards to send out.Also probably some impostor syndrome in there – after all, why would famous influencers want to collaborate with lil old me?Sure, I’m awesome, talented, hard working, handsome, charming, modest, and an authority on fitness.But.. but…But what?But nothing. I just haven’t tried it. I need to try it. I need to get the friggin $500 together, make the list and just send out the info.Everything else is ready, or COULD BE ready in a couple of weeks if I put my mind to it.But because I think to myself, Oh well I can’t afford the physical gimmick cards to send out, that means the whole process is worthless and a waste of time. I should just wait until I have the money to spend on it, THEN I can do it. But even then it probably won’t work.Replace “physical gimmick cards” with “Facebook ads” or “ClickFunnels account” or “autoresponder” or “contact form submitter” and it’s clear what’s happening:I’m letting a lack of funds prevent me from accessing the resourcefulness required to achieve success.Put more esoterically, I’m letting an attitude of scarcity preserve my fear of success.Anyway, who cares about all those dumb avocado toast excuses? The bottom line is that if MONEY is the problem, then all I need is to get some money together and pay for all the stuff I can’t pay for currently.You know what they say: if your problem can be solved with money, then you don’t have a problem.I heard that years ago. Even then, broke as I was, I knew it was true.I started out writing this article ready to crucify these internet marketing gurus, how they’re awful people who deserve awful things. But after typing this all out I realized that it was really my fault all along.I know what I need to do.Make a course. Create a funnel. Drive traffic with paid ads.Profit.The path is clear.I have all the skills. I have the sizzle AND the steak. All I need is money to make it happen.So now the question becomes… how do I make some money? via /r/Affiliatemarketing

#affiliatemarketing #reddit #internetmarketing

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