#but with gale katniss is like i just want my friend back i feel bad i hurt his feelings like this

[lilgynt]

honestly fine with gale as far as how he responds and feels about counter violence to the capitol like i get why katniss is like i hate how he treats innocent human beings like they’ve personally responsible for his suffering and doesn’t know about taking a life up close like she’s right but also he’s thinking big picture during a war and doesn’t help most of his thoughts about the capitol or said war are proven right - like when he’s like is it safe to have everyone gathered here at the hospital and katniss is thinking yeah this can’t be healthy or encourage healing and he’s thinking no they’re gonna be targeted bc they can’t run and are useless for capitol use and bam what happens. he’s right in his own way half the time but what annoys the fuck me about him is him being like so pushy about his feelings even when he KNOWS katniss is completely oblivious to that kind of stuff and keeps blindsiding her with it and getting mad at her for not knowing what to do with that info even with the fact that she found out at like. the worst time of her life when she was stuck in a situation she would have a very hard time getting out of safely with everyone she loves and holds it against her she cares about peeta at all and the whole you only care about me in pain and all i could think is i’ll never compete with how much pain peeta is in so i lost it’s like so you understand how katniss operates is mostly out of concern and worry romantically wise bc she hasn’t had a chance to care about this shit outside of like oh who i am hurting/killing with my choices and then are STILL like im gonna kiss her then stop bc she’s obviously not into it at the moment for the right reasons and it’s like kissing drunk i get he’s like a teenager and is a dumb shit but also leave that girl alone for the love of GOD

#personal #like sorry! i’m gonna like peeta more where they have scenes #where katniss actively seeks him out after nightmares and refuses to let his hand go #where they spend their last free day just hanging out and cuddling and she’s like okay. to letting this moment go on forever #when she thinks about kissing him she’s like yeah it felt nice and had a suprising heat and i miss it now that i can actually think about #and in general seems like every moment isn’t spent feeling super guilty or worrying about his feelings #like that’s a large bit of it but more circumstancal than like. something that would happen with peeta #but with gale katniss is like i just want my friend back i feel bad i hurt his feelings like this #how can i make him feel better i wish it was like before and she’s constantly throwing out olive branches #and gale is upset with nearly choice she makes so yeah i get why she’s like okay yeah ill kiss him see if that helps #and in her mind it’s like peeta equals the capitol getting what they want and that path #holds so much danger and just. acceptance of the awful life ahead of her #so even if she does talk about his long eyelashes at length i could see why she’s like confused about feelings for him #and gale seems like okay picking him is picking a different life even she’s not actively picking him for him #does this make sense i don’t know but i get peeved during gale katniss scenes like give that girl a BREAK. #she’s been through two hunger games is obviously fucked up dealing with a lot of background drama and obviously cares about the people #around her stop being so fuckin mean #like they have nice scenes but it’s not their romantic scenes for sure #she feels safe with gale wants him around and they have nice banter but he keeps fucking it up with this i love you crap #even when he realized he likes her like damn.

[chateaumarmontt]

Hey

I wrote an Everlark fanfiction. Peeta sees Gale and Katniss kissing. Katniss’ POV

Word count: 1300

English is not my first language, sorry if there are any mistakes<3

It was about 7 pm when Gale visited me. We didn't really talk after he found out about the engagement.

"Hi", he said, walking in my room. I was surprised to see him.

"Hi", I smile back, hoping he'd get over whatever it is between us so we can go on and be friends, "How's work?"

"Good. How's your leg?"

"Terrible. Mom doesn't even let me move, it gets boring sometimes."

"That sounds bad. And what do you do all day?"

I try not to mention that Peeta's coming by everyday to help me with the family book. I don't want to hurt Gale's feelings, since he'd interpret it as something more. Is it something more? I definitely seem to always end up with the boy with the bread, one way or another, but I'm not sure he even likes me anymore.

"Not much", I say and then there's silence.

"Katniss...", his tone gives me anxiety; i know he's about to bring something awkward up and I don't know how to deal with it, "I love you."

My eyes widen. We never really talked about this, but I assumed he had a crush on me. That's it. A crush. Not that he loves me.

"You don't have to answer now, but...", and then he kisses me. I pull back in shock.

"I had to do it once. Hello, Peeta", Gale smirks and I notice the blonde boy sitting in the doorway. I immediately panic. Did he see us kissing? I've been a bitch to him until I realized how I felt about our engagement. Truth is, I loved being able to call him my fiancé. Peeta was popular before, but after the Games, every girl was head over heels, I'd hear them talk about his muscles, his pretty smile. But no one had the chance to kiss his pink lips or to observe his long eyelashes. He was mine, in a way.

"Hi", he greets back, obviously a little sad. Did Gale do that on purpose? "I can come back later if..."

"No, Peeta, stay", I interrupt him. I don't want him to leave here upset. As his figure approaches my bed, I grab his hand. I don't even realize I do until he looks down at it and carefully slides his hand away.

"You don't have to do that. We're not really engaged."

This makes my heart break. I didn't really realize it till now, I thought this meant something for him as well.

"Oh.."

After talking for a while, he tells me his father needs help at the bakery. I put on a fake smile and wish him luck, but I can't sleep that night. Or the other day when he doesn't visit me. He used to come by everyday. I can't keep going on like this. Instead, Gale visits me.

"Did you do that on purpose", I cut him short, not even saying hi.

"What?"

"The kiss. So that Peeta can see it."

I don't have time to play his games, I don't want other people to get hurt because Gale is selfish. Peeta would've never done that to him, even if they hate each other.

"You told me there's nothing going on between you two, Katniss. I-"

"I lied", I say before I can stop myself.

Gale looks hurt. Maybe he's done a shitty thing, but I know he cares about me. In fact, he loves me.

"Look, you're the only person I trust besides mom and Prim”- and Peeta, I add in my head, but choose to omit the detail-“You're my best friend and you're really good looking, you have to know that, girls are always talking about it"

Gale smiles so I take it as a clue to continue:

"But I can't see you that way, Gale. I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I don't really have a say in it, do I?”He sighs before adding: “I'm sorry for what I did, Katniss.”

“So… friends”, I ask awkwardly and Gale nodds.

I can see him struggling with the conclusion, but I know our friendship can get past this, right?

________________________________

It's been 3 days since I last saw Peeta. He still brings me cheese buns, but never comes to my room. Prim told me he always asks mom how I'm feeling. I decide to go to the bakery, even though my foot is far from well. I can manage, I'll just get a cane.

I wait for mom to leave for work. After what seems like forever, I finally hear the door close.

I literally crawl down the stairs. The cane is downstairs and there's no way I could step on my foot. Finally, I reach it, but I can’t get up. I didn’t really think this through…

"Katniss? What are you doing", I turn around to see Prim, confused.

"I'm fine, Prim. A little help?"

She helps me get up and now I'm using the cane to get to the door.

"Where are you going? Does mom know-"

"I have to see Peeta", I sigh and she smiles, putting her hands on her hips.

“Will you finally confess your true love for him”

I just roll my eyes, but I can feel my cheeks getting flushed:

"Don't tell mom! I'll be right back."

"If you're not back in two hours, I'm coming after you."

"Give me three? I have to use a cane!"

Prim giggles, murmuring a "fine" and I walk out the door.

The road is not easy and as expected, it took me almost an hour. I'm nervous when I knock on the back door and I'm greeted by Rye, one of Peeta's older brothers.

He rolls his eyes, yelling:

"Peeta, your wife is here."

"Very funny", I hear another voice screaming back. Peeta's.

"I'm serious, loser.”

I blush at the word wife. 10 seconds later, I see Peeta. His eyes widen:

"Katniss? What are you doing here? Did you come all this way by yourself? You're supposed to be resting! Why-"

"Shut up", I interrupt him, "Peeta, we have to talk."

Before he can say something, I continue: "What you saw 3 days ago... Gale and-" I swallow hard, looking at the frown on his face "yeah... he did that on purpose. So that you'd think we were together. But we're not, I clarified. I told him he's my best friend and that I could never see him any other way."

"That's nice, Katniss, but it's not really my business", Peeta replies coldly. It's not his usual warm, cozy tone that I love and I know what I said isn't enough. “Let’s get you home, alright”, I could see the worry in his blue eyes and it made my heart melt. The way he was still worried about me, after I led him on, hurt his feelings… no, we’ll talk about this now.

"If it wasn't your business, why did you stop visiting me?"

"I'm sorry, my dad needed help-"

"Bullshit."

"So why do you think I stopped visiting you, then", he asks, visibly irritated.

"Because you don't want me to be with anybody else. You want me to be yours", I snap back and Peeta blushes lightly. I know I've never really let him speak during this conversation and this time isn’t any different. I kiss him, cutting off whatever lie he'd come up with and for a moment everything felt fine. One of his hand plays with my hair, while the other one was pressed against my waist, closing the distance between our bodies. I knew he wanted me just as much as I wanted him.

We have to stop in order to breathe a little, foreheads still pressed against each other.

"Katniss..."

"Mhm?"

"I really hated seeing you with Gale."

"I know. I hated him kissing me", I scoff and Peeta smiles.

After a while, we break off, Peeta’s hand still holding me so I don’t fall. I forgot about my leg.

"I should go. If i'm not home in an hour, Prim will tell mom"

"There's no way I'm letting you walk", he says and picks me up, bridal style.

"You can't be serious", I laugh.

"Watch me."

#everlark #fanfiction #katniss and peeta #the hunger games katniss #thg katniss #peeta mellark #the hunger games peeta #team peeta #everlark fanfiction #i love peeta #primrose everdeen

[deepdonutkid]

Peeta’s and Katniss’ roles reversed Part 2

(Well, yes, that topic is still very much on my mind and I want to start writing this soon)

So... if Peeta’s and Katniss’ roles were reversed in Mockingjay and Peeta is the one who gets rescued from the arena and not Katniss, another thing I can’t stop thinking about is who is he stuck with in D13.

No matter who got saved or not from the arena, the Capitol would still taking it out on D12 to set an example and to punish the star-crossed lovers. Gale would still see the warning signs and start evacuating people. Still a lot of people would not react fast enough and therefore be left in D12, when the bombing starts. Peeta’s family would be among them and therefore be dead.

There he is, alive and somehow well, in D13. His family is gone, Katniss is in the Capitol and he is stuck with... sober Haymitch, crying Finnick and... raging Gale. Well, of course, there would be Prim, Mrs. Everdeen and Delly, but let’s focus on the male characters first.

Peeta, very much like Katniss, would definitely attack Haymitch, just not physically like she did, more like with words filled with spite and rage. “You promised me to safe her! You owed me this!” Uhm, and that’s still on the nicer end of things he would say to Haymitch. So, I’ll guess, they won’t be spending much time together at first in D13.

Finnick is still devastated about losing Annie, but Peeta can so hardcore relate to what Finnick is feeling and what he is going through, they would quickly become friends. Maybe even getting a room together, while Katniss and Annie are still in the Capitol. (Similar to Johanna and Katniss) They would be tying knots together and console each other during their breakdowns.

But because Peeta is approached by Coin to be the face of the revolution, it’s safe to say, at this point, Katniss is the only thing, he lives for. If she hadn’t saved him in the first Hunger Games and then was left behind in the Quell, he would not be standing here. He knows that. And we all read how tough he was, when it came to protecting her before the Quell, while she was still there. Just imagine him going absolutely feral and becoming a bad-ass motherfucker, while still remaining a good and decent person. (And yes, I very much believe this is possible, just say one word and I will elaborate the shit out of this one)

Therefore Peeta is forced to leave Finnick be Finnick for a while and start doing something to get Katniss and Annie back. (And Johanna and the other remaining Victors). And guess who is the most concerned about Katniss’ rescue and is also in a more important position in the rebellion?

Right, it’s Gale. And they would fight a lot. I mean, Katniss already picked every possible fight with Gale, and they were best friends at that time. I guess with Peeta it would have been similar or worse.

Gale would act very childish and bitter, because he saw the Quell, right? The beach scene, the goodbye kiss... Uhm, he is going to be jealous. Even if he doesn’t want to let it out on Peeta, he still has all that pent up anger with no way to go. (other than planning to kill civilians, lmao)

And Peeta on the other and could not leave some thing unsaid. Not about Katniss, actually, everybody knows his stance on this topic, but Peeta would be disgusted beyond compare, when learning about Gale’s war pinterest board with Beetee.

However, they both have the same goal in mind, so they would find a way to work together, even though it might take a while, since both have very different approaches handling stressful situations. They wouldn’t hate each other, but they are not going to become friends either.

#thg meta #thg #mockingjay #hijacked Katniss #rebel! Peeta #a dash of Gale slander #katniss x peeta #everlark #peeta pov #Peeta and Finnick are brothers from different mothers #the hunger games

[thesweetnessofspring]

do you hate the idea of platonic everthorne or just romantic?

First, romantic Everthorne is really not my thing, but ship and let ship.

So I don't hate the idea of platonic Everthorne, like in fanfic settings and whatnot. In fact, despite what I'm going to say, I'm trying to write one of those right now! I get the appeal of them being platonic besties, but I don't think it's platonic in canon. It's a one-sided workplace romance. I'm putting my reasoning below a cut if you don't feel like reading borderline Gale-slander.

Before people throw quotes in my face, I'm aware Katniss calls Gale her best friend and we see her anger about his whipping and that they work well together as hunters. I'm not denying any of that.

What I think is that Katniss and Gale bonded through their similar trauma which is why they hang around each other and know each other, but they're more like coworkers than friends. Katniss even talks about this when she describes her relationship with him. They "grudgingly" shared knowledge and tools and resources. Their relationship is entirely transactional: they do better for their families when they work together, which is why they even start hanging out. Even promising to take care of each other's families should one of them be reaped is transactional, as they are also ensuring safety for their family by making their promise. In fact, with all of the slips Gale has, he was more likely to need to cash that out! Everything about their relationship reads entirely contractual to me. Very business. When Katniss comes back from the Games having played the romantic angle with Peeta, in CF Gale acts as if she's broken an agreement they made, what with him getting so pissy she wants to save Peeta and Haymitch from torture/death from her running away.

That's not to say they have no positive interactions--they do. But even at their most positive, such as the story of how Katniss got Lady, Gale's just kinda there. Katniss's focus and attention is entirely on making Prim happy, helping their family survive. Or before the reaping, they're already arguing about having kids and it's weird how much they rile each other up over something that's such a personal choice (of course, to Gale at this point it's not so individual as he has feelings for her). Basically, it reminds me of coworkers who get along and help pass the time, even help each other when there's a bad boss or angry customer or whatever. And they clearly know how to hunt together and know one another's thoughts. Then one of them caught feelings due to their consistent proximity to each other and wants it to move in a romantic direction. But at the end of the day they're going to drift apart once those things holding them together is gone--aka, feeding their families, the Capitol, and the war.

It's also hard for me to see platonic connections when Gale has said that dying for Katniss is the only way to "convince" Katniss that you love her. I see everything he does with this lens of convincing Katniss to be with him, to choose him. Anything that might seem platonic has a weird overlay of this motivation of trying to win her over. And since that's not how romantic relationships work, it doesn't work on a romantic or a platonic level. Everything a friendship should be to be a real, genuine friendship isn't there between them.

I don't see Gale as a safe person for Katniss emotionally because he's usually forcing his opinion on her, guilting her, or again, I can't trust he's not trying a new tactic to win her over by appealing to seeing him as a hero (like going to rescue Peeta). I don't see them having fun together--without needing to hunt, really, what would they do together? What would a fun date look like for them? I don't see their principles aligning in Mockingjay and that's a really obvious point Suzanne was trying to make. Basically, I don't see what they're supposed to build a friendship on other than they both lost their dads and have to feed their families.

They're coworkers. They're just coworkers.

#anon ask

[heavensbeehall]

"Mockingjay", Chapter 22

Part 3: The Assassin

Chapter 22: Peeta repeats the chorus of "Katniss". Everyone refuses to leave her for reasons I don't understand. Jackson and Leeg 1 sacrifice themselves first. Something bad happens to Messalla. Finnick gets eaten by lizard mutts. Katniss kisses Peeta and the power of love saves him from going mad. Katniss shoots a lady.

-- So here's something that I wish were better explained: why does 451 stay with Katniss? No one believes she was really sent to assasinate Coin. She thinks the lizard mutts are after her specifically (and the fact that they only say "Katniss" backs that up) and would follow her if they split up. So absolutely everyone could totally bail right now and go home. Honestly, I would have left as soon as "sewers" was floated as an idea. I get why Gale and Peeta won't abandon her but, like Cressida and her crew don't even have weapons? I wish there was a moment in the text where they say explicitly that they see that both Coin and Snow are trying to kill her and that they will not let that happen (Boggs said something similar earlier and I think that is where we are supposed to get the idea?) but it wasn't clear to me that the whole squad knew? IDK, I would feel a lot better about their deaths if they died for some real purpose. But then this is the Hunger Games and lots of people die for no purpose.

And here I am again. With people dying because of me. Friends, allies, complete strangers, losing their lives for the Mockingjay.

But at least when people sacrificed themselves in the Quarter Quell, I knew what they wanted to accomplish.

Far below, I can just make out Finnick, struggling to hang on as three mutts tear at him. As one yanks back his head to take the death bite, something bizarre happens. It's as if I'm Finnick, watching images of my life flash by. The mast of a boat, a silver parachute, Mags laughing, a pink sky, Beetee's trident, Annie in her wedding dress, waves breaking over rocks. Then it's over.

What are the fan theories about this oddly magical moment? I mean, I have a theory about Finnick having a dissociative identity disorder, but that doesn't explain why his memories are in Katniss' head.

It's a long shot, it's suicide maybe, but I do the only thing I can think of. I lean in and kiss Peeta full on the mouth. His whole body starts shuddering, but I keep my lips pressed to his until I have to come up for air. My hands slide up his wrists to clasp his. "Don't let him take you from me." Peeta's panting hard as he fights the nightmares raging in his head. "No. I don't want to…" I clench his hands to the point of pain. "Stay with me." His pupils contract to pinpoints, dilate again rapidly, and then return to something resembling normalcy. "Always," he murmurs.

Gale stood there while this happened--Katniss kisses Peeta and restores his sanity--and he still thought, "she might still pick me."

#mockingjay #thg reread #thg reread mockingjay #thg mockingjay #finnick odair

[justgayloringeverthrone]

(Anyways back to the point, as I said, Gale doesn't apologize with words but over time admits he was wrong with his actions. )

but that's my point he knows what he's doing what he did was wrong and he doesn't apologize or take accountability if someone does something s***** and don't apologize or take accountability or try to change your action it's not a good thing.

(second he doesn't push her into a relationship when she isn't ready, that would be Peeta, Gale saw she didn't want it and then backed off after he kissed her, she is the one who continued something romanticl.) okay I don't know how you keep thinking that Peeta pressured her into a relationship when he literally says this (. "Look, Katniss, I've been wanting to talk to you about the way I acted on the train. I mean, the last train. The one that brought us home. I knew you had something with Gale. I was jealous of him before I even officially met you. And it wasn't fair to hold you to anything that happened in the Games. I'm sorry." "There's nothing for you to be sorry about. You were just keeping us alive. But I don't want us to go on like this, ignoring each other in real life and falling into the snow every time there's a camera around. So I thought if I stopped being so, you know, wounded, we could take a shot at just being friends," he says.) also there's a fact that he literally gives her a lockit with Gale inside and again is willing to die to make sure she can have a life with him but oh sure he's the one pressing her into being a relationship tell me how does that make sense to you. and this is what Gale says this ("Tell me about it," I say. "If I could've just hated him in the arena, we all wouldn't be in this mess now. He'd be dead, and I'd be a happy little victor all by myself.:"And where would we be, Katniss?" asks Gale.)

and mind you this happens after katniss told him about not being able to be in a relationship because she's scared of being killed and her family being killed and after the quarter quell was announce again bringing up a romantic relationship in an inappropriate moment

(He didn't manipulate her.) yes he did because again he knew she was going to act to him being in pain he purposely made her feel guilty about not being with him romantically even though she told them she can't even think about this s*** right now and yeah he did stop but it wasn't because it was the right thing to do is because she wasn't kissing him the way he wanted to kiss her and that's the problem. He was insecure. He was jealous. (You can't say he manipulated her just because he loved her in a different way than Peeta. )yeah Peter did love her differently just in a better and healthier way because he didn't let his jealousy or insecurity stop him from putting katnisses emotional needs ahead of his own and that's why he's the better partner for her.

(Gale was a morally gray character. He wasn't perfect, nobody's saying that he is. But he was realistic and complex and different and he sure as hell was better than Peeta. His motives and actions are much deeper than even Katniss' so I understand how most people can't even comprehend how morally complex he was. )

okay yes he's a morally Great character and honestly I do like him as a character I just don't like his personality or makes katniss kind of feel like she owes him a relationship because they're like so many moments were she just feels bad about being with Peeta with even if it's just for her survival. and even though Gale is morally gray that doesn't mean he's a deeper character than Peeta. cuz Peter is more than just a love interest . one of my favorite Peeta lines is("I don't know how to say it exactly. Only. I want to die as myself. Does that make any sense?" he asks. I shake my head. How could he die as anyone but himself? "I don't want them to change me in there. Turn me into some kind of monster that I'm not." and katniss ask Do you mean you won't kill anyone?" I ask.

No, when the time comes, I'm sure I'll kill just like everybody else. I can't go down without a fight. Only I keep wishing I could think of a way to. to show the Capitol they don't own me. That I'm more than just a piece in their Games," says Peeta.) and in the beginning katniss doesn't't understand it but then she does when rude dies and realizes that rue and her are so much then competitors in a death match there are human beings worthy of compassion and that is what I love about Peeta he doesn't want to let the capital or his trauma change him into a monster and that's what makes his higjacking so much worse because he lived his worst fear. Peeta as a character is a reminder to katniss and the audience that it's important to stay true to who we are regardless of what happened. gale is sort of a cautionary tale of what happens when you let your trauma and your anger get the better of you and you end up doing something you regret. both characters are well written and deep and I think you can appreciate both characters and what they bring.

Okay honestly I can't with you anymore because you keep twisting the narrative into the favor of your purity culture, perfect German child boy aka Peeta to shame a brown boy who is just trying to survive and is admitting he isn't perfect aka Gale.

I'm not going to waste any more brain cells on this conversation just because you don't have any.

Now if you could just go to the hashtag "gale Hawthorne defense squad" blogs under that hashtag have already explained this and I don't feel like repeating them or myself.

#peeta mellark slander #gale hawthorne #gale hawthorne defense squad #jennifer lawrence #katniss everdeen #the hunger games

[lemonluvgirl]

OMG all those things are so soft --- maybe 1, 15, 21, or 28?!! ah cannot decide they literally are all so cute and just "🥺"

1. slow dancing

15. bed warm

21. this is a very long hug now sort of hug

28. forehead touches or nose nudging or any soft variation on the theme

Well, this was a tall order for a writer to fulfill. Especially a writer like me. I’m really bad at fluff. If you have read any of my stuff on AO3 dear anon, you will notice I don’t have a rating below T. But for you my fluffy-softy loving friend, I will give it my best shot. So here goes. (not beta read)

________________________________________________________________

Poor Peeta Mellark, I thought as I stepped on his toes for what had to be the third time during this ridiculously long slow dance our friends had forced us into. 

“Sorry,” I mumbled as I took my foot off his and looked down to make sure I didn’t automatically step on him again. 

“It’s ok, Katniss.” He replied kindly as he pulled me closer. His large right hand felt warm in mine as did his left one, that was gently spread over my waist. He smelled like a bakery mixed with some kind of minty aftershave. I scowled down at his shiny dark shoes that were now scuffed because of my clumsiness.  

It’s not a real date. I told myself sternly, just in case my hormones decided to make more out of this than it really was. 

“It’s not, really. I’m sorry you got stuck with me tonight.” I said, wanting to cut through the crap and his polite martyr routine. If only to keep my own feelings from running away with me. 

“Stuck with you? Are you kidding me? More like you got stuck with me.” He responded so sincerely that I had to look up into his bluer than blue eyes just to see if I heard him correctly. 

When I locked eyes with him under the twinkling reflective stars hanging down from the ceiling of our worn out high school gymnasium, all I could see was his earnestness. But I still couldn’t believe it. 

“Oh, please Peeta, you can’t stand there and tell me that our friends didn’t put you up to this and made you ask me out last minute when Gale bailed on me, so that I wouldn’t feel left out.” I say, voice laced with annoyance. It was one thing to act like a nice guy who was helping out a friend, it was quite another to take the nice guy act so far as to try and make the girl believe it was anything other than a pity date. 

Peeta shook his head, his blond eyebrows barely visible in the dim light, scrunched together and he rolled his lips inward for a second, only to let them back out with a huff. 

“I mean, Finnick did call me to let me know you were—” He began to say but cut himself off embarrassedly. I had no idea why he was embarrassed. He wasn’t the one left without a date the week before junior prom. 

“Left hanging?” I filled in the awkward blank he left. Then I grimaced at how pathetic it sounded. 

“Finnick didn’t put it quite like that.” 

I let out a scoffing laugh. 

“Oh, so how did Finnick describe my ‘situation’?” I asked, intrigued as to what our mutual friend could have said, since subtly wasn’t Finnick’s forte. 

Peeta took a deep breath. “He called me up and said, ‘Hey Peet, word on the grapevine is that the Mockinjay is gonna be flying solo next weekend since that jackass Hawthorne decided to sign up for the marines and couldn’t wait a couple weeks to take his girlfriend to prom before he got himself shipped off to bootcamp. This is your chance bud, better take it.’” 

I can’t help but snicker at Peeta’s impression of Finnick. Its spot on. Plus Finnick was the one who had come up with my nickname of the Mockingjay, since I was the only one in our bunch of friends who could even remotely carry a tune. It often came in handy when we played drunk singing games. Which Finnick and Peeta were the worst at. I almost snort remembering how off key they usually are—but then I replay the words Peeta said and stop short. 

“Gale’s not my boyfriend.” I inform Peeta quietly.

“I would hope not, after the stunt he pulled tonight.” Peeta says in a low voice, that could almost be mistaken for a growl. The underlying anger in his tone confuses me. 

“No, I mean I couldn’t break up with him for bailing on me, since we were never dating. He agreed to take me to Prom since we’re best friends, to get my parents off my back. They worry I’m too anti-social.” I explained. 

Peeta’s eyes grow round with surprise, but then he just chuckles to himself as he grins and sings me down into an impromptu dip. 

I feel the breath rush out of me and I struggle not to give into my natural reflex and fight for control back. I’d probably just knock us both down with my inept flailings. I hold onto his thickly muscled shoulder and his strong forearm, marveling at the way he keeps me suspended for a beat longer than seems humanly possible. 

Then, Peeta quickly brings me back right side up, and hugs me close to him. I automatically hug him back, confused by his actions but unable to stop myself from reveling in the warmth and security he provides as I nestle my head against his sturdy chest. 

We’re not even dancing anymore. We’re just standing in the middle of the room, wrapped in this strange embrace, but I couldn’t care less. It feels so right, being here in his arms. I can’t remember the last time someone held me like this, hugged me this long. It must have been years ago, when I was a little girl, and I still curled up in my father’s lap for bedtime stories and lullabies. 

“This whole time I thought you were taken.” Peeta murmurs as he gently lowers his forehead to mine, his eyes closed and his voice oddly wistful. 

“Oh.” Is all I say, because I don’t really understand what he’s trying to convey to me. But I like the sound of his voice, low and full of soft tones like velvet starlight. And I like his arms around me, and the way his warm breath just ghosts over my skin drawing goosebumps and tingles from inside of me. 

“I never thought I could compete with him-with Gale. You two were like two peas in a pod, always together, always in sync.” He says. 

I look up at him through my mascara-ed lashes in puzzlement. 

“Why would you want to compete with Gale?” I ask incredulously. 

“Oh, Katniss, did you ever think that maybe I wanted to be the other pea in your pod? The one who was by your side, synced up to your beautiful brain?” He says lightly, almost playfully. And while his words are light, his eyes are dark, and there’s a heaviness to his stare that let me know this is the absolute truth. 

Peeta Mellark wants me. Me. 

I’m sure someone could have knocked me over with a feather at that moment, my knees felt so weak. I clutched at Peeta’s sturdy frame for strength, and he obligingly held me secure in his arms, unwilling to let me fall. The reaction is so sweet, so tender, that I feel a strong surge of warmth bubble up in my chest and spread out to the rest of my body, making me feel light and effervescent like I’m made of joy and air. 

“You did?” I ask, finally finding my voice. 

“I did.” He confirms quietly as he begins rocking side to side with me again, resuming our slow dance. I don’t reply, I just tangle my fingers in his wavy ash blond hair and rub my forehead slowly against his, nudging my nose along his freckled cheeks and silently trying to convey how happy his confession makes me. Peeta nudges me back, quiet and seemingly content as I am to have me so close, and relaxed in his arms. 

~

Later when everyone heads out for the obligatory stay at the fanciest local hotel room, Peeta and I hold hands in the limo. I tell him it's fine to rent a room with a single queen size bed instead of a double. His eyes grow wide, but he hands over his credit card with a shy smile. 

We lay down underneath the covers tenting them and resting our foreheads against each other again as we whisper secrets. About all those times we stole glances at each other across classrooms and hallways. About the missed opportunities and the longing we both tried so hard to conceal. 

We kiss, slowly, and become very acquainted with each other’s lips. Nothing else happens, since this is all so new to both of us. Not the yearning, or the desire, we have both apparently been thinking along the same wavelength for years and never said anything to the other, but the opportunity to see where this could go without rushing into it is still very new. We fall asleep nestled together under the hotel sheets, fully clothed but still it feels intimate and oh so perfect and warm. 

#soft prompts #fluff #everlark #ask answered #lemonluvwrites #thg #fanfiction #slow dancing

[mega-ringsandthings-world]

• Katniss never felt the “hunger” associated with kissing anyone other than Peeta.

When Katniss woke feeling a "delicious feeling of happiness that is somehow connected with Peeta" after spending the night kissing him. To me, this is a strong sign that she was in love with him.

- When Katniss slid the pearl Peeta gave her over her lips, and imagined it was him kissing her (this one is so heartbreaking, but also so cute).

• Katniss never detailed Gale’s looks in the same way she did Peeta. She mentioned Peeta’s eyelashes, the way his tongue slipped out when he was working. She noticed the blueness of his eyes.

• Katniss never mentions Gale’s favorite color or habits like sleeping with the window open, double-knotting his shoelaces or not taking sugar in his tea.

• Katniss never seeks Gale for comfort when Peeta is nearby.

• Katniss plans her own death to spare Peeta’s life in the arena.

• Katniss seeks out Haymitch because “he loves Peeta too.” •    Katniss never kisses Gale after their last kiss in District 2 but she willingly kisses Peeta to bring him back from the edge.   

 •    Katniss laments the loss of Peeta’s love but can’t find it in herself to lament the loss of Gale when he moves to District 2.

Finally, there are Katniss’s own words: On the night I feel that thing again, the hunger that overtook me on the beach, I know this would have happened anyway. That what I need to survive is not Gale’s fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that. So after, when he whispers, “You love me. Real or not real?” I tell him, “Real.”

Katniss love peeta romantically and if you can't see that you're clearly being intellectually dishonest katniss just didn't realize it at the time because she was scared of what loving someone so deeply it would hurt her to lose them she saw what happened with her mom and she didn't want to go through the same thing she did but obviously some of the things she felt and thought about Peeta betrayed her I personally don't look at my friends eyelashes or kiss their gifts or pretend they're kissing me back or want to hug them and kiss them with hunger because if you do that with your friends that ain't friendship and if you keep telling yourself that she didn't love him really you're lying

I understand how and why people ship Katniss and Peeta romantically. I've seen you list of "gotcha" points, numerous times from numerous other people. However, I do not ship/prefer to see them that way, and I find their romance plotline and many of the reasons people hold up as reasons to pair them laced with bias and inherent racism. I think I have talked at length about how I find Katniss choosing Peeta and dismissing Gale as full of rage and hate to be prime example of this racism promoted by the author, and how if Gale wasn't a revolutionary/poc, he would be also shipped just as much with Katniss. Katniss talks about Gale's body, his beautiful hands, wonders times if she would have grown up to marry him/or if he would be her boyfriend if she opened the door. she knows the things he would say to her even though he isn't with her, she trusts him implicitly, and even over Peeta. And she longed for him in 12, went to their spot by the blackberry bushes, and waited for him to emerge from the woods.

Katniss also wanted to save Peeta in the arena because she felt she owed him his life, (when he teases her with the other victors, she thinks how she does not owe him anything more than saving in the arena) because she considered herself lesser than him, a belief Haymitch actively furthers, and because she believes that she will help the cause of the revolution by becoming a martyr, and by proxy, force Peeta to become a voice for the revolution as well. Again, I will not do into detail explaining my different opinions on your other listed points, but I interpret and see the story and relationships between the characters differently than you. I am not being intellectually dishonest, or lying to myself by seeing the story a different way. You, however, are an ASSHOLE for insulting me over having a differing opinion than you.

#thg #the hunger games #thg fandom #everlark #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #the everlark fandom #the evercult

[fuckallthegood0nesweretaken]

Odds and Favors

Chapter Two

Title: The Capitol

Words: 1370

Warnings: None

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

Odds and Favors Masterlist

Masterlist

~~~~~~~

Katniss and Peeta were led to the rooms where they'd be able to say goodbye to their friends and family and you made your way with Bennett to Hazelle and the kids.

"Hey," you said softly. Hazelle looked at you with teary eyes.

"Hey, sweetheart."

"Have you seen her yet?"

"No," Hazelle said with a shake of her head. "They only let Gale go."

"Really? I'll tell her for you."

"Mama, are you leaving now?" Bennett asked, squeezing your hand.

"I am. I'll be home soon, though. You be good for Hazelle, okay?"

"Okay. I love you, mama."

"I love you too, baby." You hugged and kissed your son before saying bye to everyone else.

Walking away, you saw Gale get pulled out of Katniss's room. It broke your heart to see him like this, sad and terrified for his best friend.

"Gale," you said. He turned and said your name before walking over and engulfing you in a hug.

"You have to help her, please," Gale muttered into the top of your head.

"I will do everything I can," you said.

"Promise me."

"I can't do that, Gale." You shook your head.

"I can't lose her. I can't." You could feel Gale starting to shake and you squeezed him tighter.

"I'll do what I can," you whispered.

Gale nodded and stepped back. He wiped the tears from his face and gave him a sad smile.

"I'm sorry."

A peacekeeper called your name as they came towards you and Gale.

"It's time to leave," they said.

"Alright," you said. You looked at Gale, "I'll see you soon."

He just nodded and watched as you left with the peacekeeper.

---

The kids were already on the train when you got on and you went straight to your room. They were most likely overwhelmed and you didn't want to upset them further by pouncing on them and talking about the games. You only left your room when your stomach was growling and made your way to the dining car. That's where you ran into Katniss.

"Hey," you said. "Have you eaten yet?"

"No."

"Come. You need to keep your strength up." You held out your hand and Katniss took it.

"They all look so fancy," she said.

"I'd say you get used to it, but I'd be lying." You made a plate for you and Katniss before sitting down at a table.

"I'm sorry you're here," you said after a moment. "I can't promise anything, but I'm going to do what I can to help both of you."

"I'm scared. I promised Prim that nothing bad was going to happen and now I'm on my way to the Capitol."

"No matter what, your family will be taken care of. There's not a lot I can do, but what I can do, I will. That I can promise you." You took her hand and squeezed it.

"How did you win the Games?" Katniss asked you.

"During training, I found out I was good with knives. I'm also very quiet. So I sneak around and if I came across another Tribute, I'd attack them."

"Did you seek them out?"

"No. It was only if we crossed paths." You took a breath. "I felt like I was losing a piece of me every time I did and I still have nightmares."

"Do they affect Bennett?"

"No. He sleeps like a rock, nothing can wake him up except himself. I'm thankful for that."

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence as you ate. Katniss finished her plate and you encouraged her to get more. When she was done, she left to her room. You watched her go and when you were done, you went to Haymitch's room.

"Haymitch, open up," you said, knocking on his door. It took a minute, but you heard a crash and a curse before the door opened.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Haymitch said.

"You really need to cut down on the drinking," you said, your nose wrinkling in disgust.

"And you need to be less cheerful. I saw the interview from earlier today."

"You of all people should know that I can't." You glared at him and he shook his head.

"I'm sorry."

"We need to start thinking of ways to help these kids. With Katniss volunteering for her sister, she has some chance to get sponsors. You know they love that shit."

"Yes they do. Peeta also has a sort of charm to him. I can tell that he'll be a hit with the ladies."

"I can ask Tigress when we get to the Capitol. We're friends and work well together so she'll most likely help. If Peeta is as charming as you think, there's a few more people who'll support him."

"So we're in agreement that Katniss is going to need more help, yes?"

"Yes."

- - -

The next morning you had gone to breakfast, not really ready for the day. Peeta was already there and you gave him a smile as you sat down.

“Good morning,” Peeta said.

“Good morning. How did you sleep?” You asked him. 

“I, uh, didn’t really sleep.” 

“That’s okay. It’ll get easier to sleep as the week goes on.” You fixed a plate for yourself before looking at Peeta. “I told Katniss this and I’ll tell you as well. Although I can’t promise you anything, I’m going to do whatever I can to help you. Both of you.”

“Thank you,” Peeta said. “Can we talk about it now?”

“Of course. What do you want to know?” 

Right then, Haymitch walked in and sat next to you at the table. You could tell that he was hungover, as usual. Peeta either didn’t notice or didn’t care and he started asking questions about the games. You answered to the best of your ability, Haymitch sometimes chiming in. When Katniss walked into the room, you smiled at her.

“That’s a good way to get killed,” Haymitch said to Peeta, already done with the conversation.

“What’s a good way to get killed?” Katniss asked. 

“Oh, joy. Why don’t you join us?” Haymitch said. You elbowed him and waved Katniss over. 

“He was just giving some life saving advice,” you said.

“Like what?” 

“I was just asking about shelter,” Peeta said. 

“That would only be handy if you were in fact still alive,” Haymitch said snarkily.

“How do you find shelter?” Katniss asked.

“Can you pass the jam?”

“How do you find shelter?” Katniss repeated.

“Give us a chance to wake up, sweetheart. This mentoring is pretty taxing stuff,” Haymitch said as he poured alcohol into his coffee. 

You just rolled your eyes and put another bite of food in your mouth. Haymitch asked for the jam again and Katniss stopped him by stabbing the table with her knife. Peeta watched with wide eyes and Effie gasped as Katniss and Haymitch stared at each other. 

“That is mahogany!” Effie said, appalled that Katniss would do such a thing.

“Look at you. You just killed a placemat,” Haymitch said. He plucked the knife out of the table and looked at you. You shrugged and kept eating your food.

“You really want to know how to stay alive?” Haymitch asked them. The kids nodded and Haymitch leaned back.

“You have to get people to like you,” you said. Both of the kids looked confused and you nodded. “Not what you were expecting, was it?” 

“No,” Peeta said.

“Well, when you’re in the middle of the games and you’re starving or freezing, some water or a knife, even matches could be the difference between life and death,” Haymitch said. “Those things can only come from sponsors. And the only way to get sponsors is to make people like you.”

“There it is,” Peeta said. He got up and ran to the window to see the Capitol. “It’s huge. Incredible.”

When you came out of the tunnel, you took a breath and put down your fork. Peeta was waving at the people of the Capitol,  a smile on his face. You could hear them calling Peeta’s name and he tried to get Katniss to join him.

“You better keep this knife. He knows what he’s doing,” Haymitch said to Katniss.

#the hunger games x reader #reader insert #x reader #the hunger games #the hunger games fanfiction

[jlalafics]

Prompt #27 🤭

Thank you @whiwhitetiger and the anon who requested this. Hope you enjoy this very long story.

#27. "I'm pregnant."

Old, Oak Tree

“I’m pregnant.”

Peeta stares at her for a moment, processing the words that had just come out of her mouth.

Hell, Katniss can’t believe that she’s actually saying them.

However, here they both are, in the back of the Mellark Bakery, sitting at the old, oak tree that started their almost five-year friendship as she tells him the biggest news of her life.

“How?” he finally asks.

“You know…” She brushes a leaf off her pant leg, unable to meet his eyes. “…the usual way.”

“I didn’t realize that you were doing that.” Peeta stands abruptly, pacing in front of her. “Whose butt do have to kick? Is it Darius? I always see him staring at you—”

Katniss rises, going to him immediately and placing her hands on his shoulders.

“Peeta, breathe.” Her friend immediately follows, letting out a long breath and she smiles, seeing the color return to his face. “That’s my boy.”

“Obviously, I’m not your boy if you’re having sex and not bothering to tell your best friend,” Peeta snarls. “It’s just that we never keep things from one another.”

“I was embarrassed,” Katniss admits. Taking his hand, Katniss leads him back under the tree. “It was about a month ago and I got very drunk off one of Greasy Sae’s tonics. I wasn’t thinking and when I woke up in the middle of the night, I was next to Ga—”

Peeta looks at her, dread in his stare. “No.”

“Biggest mistake I’ve ever made.”

“He’s wanted you his whole life, Katniss. If you tell him, he’ll marry you. He’ll save you—”

“No.” Katniss draws her legs towards her chest, pulling herself into a ball. “I can’t do it. I can’t marry Gale Hawthorne.”

Peeta nods, putting a hand on her shoulder. “What other solution is there?”

She turns to him; her eyes wide and earnest. “You marry me.”

Shaking his head, Peeta chuckles at her suggestion.

“You’re joking.” However, not hearing her laughter, his gaze goes to her once more. “You’re not.”

“We always said that if there was no one else, we’d marry each other. We shook on it!”

“We were kids, Katniss!” Peeta points out. “A handshake doesn’t make a marriage pact legal in any way.”

“You want marriage. You always have.”

Standing up, he shakes his head.

“Not like this.”

++++++

Katniss was never a romantic like Peeta.

She ruminates over this thought later that evening as she lays in her bed. Her mother is worried as Katniss is never sick and her stomach turns at the thought that she’ll have to tell her mother about the baby.

Her mother will insist on Gale. However, she can’t even think of a life with the boy. He isn’t a bad person. He just doesn’t know her and more than once, he’s remarked on the fact that she hunts instead of doing the usual girl things. She knows that he’s slightly threatened by how good she is at archery, almost having beat him in school.

Gale wants a nice Seam wife to cook and clean, to have his babies, to cater to him and their children. It doesn’t seem like a bad life, but Katniss could feel that fire in her being snuffed at just of the thought of sharing her life with him.

There’s a knock at their front door and slowly she sits up.

Going to her door, she peeks out and is surprised to see Peeta dressed in a white button down, ironed slacks, and his wavy locks brushed neatly back.

She steps out into her sitting room. “Peeta, what are you doing here?”

Her mother widens the door for him to step inside as Prim, her younger sister, emerges from the kitchen.

He clears his throat and Katniss can see that he’s nervous. She hears the erratic tap of his foot and the slight flush in his complexion.

“Actually, I’ve come to speak to you, Mrs. Everdeen.” Peeta turns to her mother. “I’d like permission to marry your daughter.”

Prim lets out a gasp, going to her sister before looking to the man standing at the doorway.

“Well, shouldn’t you get permission from Katniss, first?” Prim asks innocently.

Her mother manages to recover, looking between the two. “Prim is right.”

Slowly, Peeta crosses the floor until he is standing right in front of her. Gently, he takes her hand, running his thumb along the row of her knuckles and she swallows down the shiver.

“You’re about the only girl I’ve ever loved, Katniss,” he tells her softly. “The only one I think I’ll ever love. And we’ll probably drive one another crazy, but I can’t imagine being driven mad by anyone else. So, will you, Katniss? Will you marry me?”

There is a swell within her and for a moment, Katniss could almost believe it’s real. However, she knows that his words are nothing but words for a friend. A promise of devotion, but not of the kind of love that Katniss knows Peeta has always craved.

However, the look in his eyes seems all too real.

She can’t help but say yes.

+++++++

They’re married a week later.

Katniss is in her mother’s nicest dress, and Peeta wears one of his brothers’ best suits.

They agree to tell everyone that it’s a honeymoon baby, but Katniss can already tell that her mother knows why after she measures Katniss to alter her dress. There is the slightest bump on her lower abdomen and her breasts not only ache but have grown not so subtly.

Mr. Mellark is overjoyed, always believing that there was something between the two. He’s always been an ally of sorts, never mentioning whenever Peeta would sneak out back to meet her by their tree. His brothers, Bran and Rye, both give him a congratulatory hug, surprised but happy for their little brother.

For Katniss, she is given a kiss on the cheek.

“Our Peeta landed the prettiest girl in District 12,” Rye tells her with a wink. “Now who will I pine after?”

“Madge Undersee…Delly Cartwright…Soledad Bryant…” Katniss ticks the lists of his conquest on her fingers. “You’ll be fine.”

“You’re a welcome addition to the family,” Bran adds.  “Finally got me a sister.”

It’s Mrs. Mellark that’s the biggest hurdle. She has never been able to accept the friendship between her and Peeta, refusing to even speak to her as they gather for the wedding.

It is Peeta who decides that they should marry in front of their tree.

“It's our spot,” he explains after making the suggestion. “Where we got started and all.”

Katniss agrees with a smile. Like she’s always known, Peeta is a romantic.

As they hold hands in front of the officiant, she vows silently to be a good mother for her child and a good wife to Peeta.

They might not love one another romantically, but what they have is better than that. They know each other inside and out, the good and the bad, and yet besides her family, there is no one that she loves more than him.

They say their vows and her heart beats fitfully as Peeta slips the golden band on her finger. Her own fingers tremble as she pushes his wedding band pass his knuckle, but Peeta steadies her with the gentle caress of his thumb.

“You may kiss the bride.”

Her eyes widen as the officiant’s words. Around them, their families cheer and clap—except for Mrs. Mellark.

She, however, is suddenly in the throes of a panic attack.

This will be their first kiss ever.

“Katniss,” Peeta says softly. He reaches forward, his hand clasping the back of her neck. Katniss closes her eyes as he nears. She can smell him, that familiar scent of cedar and sage, and she breathes him deep. Katniss catches the hitch in his breath as her nose brushes his cheek. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”

Peeta brushes his lips against hers and a sigh escapes her mouth. His lips are soft and full; she likes the way he pillows her bottom lip between them. Her arms wrap around his neck and Katniss leans fully into their kiss, her body melding along his. His other hand tangles in her locks and she gasps at the touching of their tongues, a spark alighting at her core.

When they pull away, both are breathless and blushing. Her mother is crying in joy as Prim beams at them. Peeta’s brothers whoop and holler while Mr. Mellark claps heartily. Mrs. Mellark is unsurprisingly sullen.

Then there’s Peeta, whose stare causes her stomach to twist in a way she can’t understand.

Who knew that one kiss could turn her world upside down?

+++++

Later that night, they lay in bed together, both unable to look at each another.

It’s their wedding night—and wedding nights entail sex.

They never discussed the subject, busy planning the wedding.

Honestly, they avoided it.

“I don’t remember,” she suddenly says to break the silence. “I don’t think he did either.”

Gale, as far as she knows, only remembers waking up slightly disheveled in the forest off the Seam border and nothing else. He treats her as if nothing happened, even congratulating her on wedding before heading off to meet Madge Undersee.

She is glad for it.

“I’ve never done it,” Peeta responds.

Katniss twists onto her side to look at him. “Not even with Marnie?”

Marnie Dolce, Peeta’s one serious girlfriend, who he dated for six months before she moved to District 4. Marnie with the big smile and big breasts…Marnie who hated that Peeta’s best friend was a girl…Marnie, whose face she imagined on her target during archery practice.

She had never aimed so well.

Peeta shakes his head. “Maybe some over the top touching but nothing else.”

“Gross, I don’t want to hear about you touching her.”

“Well, it’s not that pleasant to think about Gale putting his hands on you.”

Katniss moves closer to him. “If he did then I don’t remember.”

He turns his head, and she finds herself staring deep into his eyes. His lashes are long and there are tiny flecks of green in his blue eyes. Her hand reaches between their bodies and Katniss lets her instincts guide her.

She takes his hand, bringing it to her chest, and his eyes round seeing that he’s palming her breast.

Peeta swallows harshly. “Katniss, I’m just a man—”

“I realize that,” she replies softly. “And I’m just a woman. It’s just…I liked our kiss and the feeling that it gave me.”

The hand on her breast twitches and she watches as his thumb hovers over her peak nipple. Since the pregnancy, they are unbelievable sensitive and the thought of Peeta just running the pad of his thumb over it causes the heated flood to her core.

This is a hunger Katniss has never known.

Peeta’s gaze deepens, full of curiosity. “What feeling is that?”

“I want more.” Her mouth moves just along his. “I want to feel…more.”

Peeta kisses her, his tongue plunging into her mouth. Her cries are muffled in their kiss and her hands move to explore the hard planes of his body, pulling his shirt off in the process. His skin is smooth and golden despite there being barely little sun in District 12.

“Katniss…” he pants between their lips. “…can I…may I…I don’t know how to ask for this—”

She kisses him, bringing his hand between her thighs. Katniss never thought of herself as wanton person, but she wants him to feel the wetness along her slit. Peeta moans when his fingers make contact with her soaked cunt.

“Oh, God…” He gazes at her eagerly. “You’re so wet.”

“I don’t remember the last time, but I want to remember this time—with you,” she tells him. “My best friend…my husband.”

He nods in understanding before slowly pushing a finger inside her. She feels a yearning and cants her hips to bring him in deeper.

“Oh…”

It feels delicious to have him inside her.

Another finger joins and she wraps herself against him, thrusting onto his digits.

The room is hot, smelling of their arousal, and Katniss meets his eyes. His forehead is sweaty, and his brow furrowed with strain.

“Peeta…” She kisses him wetly as her hand reaches deftly under the waist of his pajama bottoms. He helps her, lifting his hips, and pushing the fabric away till it’s abandoned onto their floor. “You want to?”

He nods eagerly and Katniss smirks.

“I want you,” he tells her, and her breath catches at the tenderness of his words. “My best friend. My wife.”

She nods, taking him in her hand. He is thick but velvety in her hands. Katniss pumps at the shaft and he moans, causing a rush of heat through her body.

Shifting him onto his back, Katniss straddles his hips. Her hand encircles his arousal, and she moves the tip of him along her opening. It feels good, the head of him teasing along her labia and Peeta lets out a heavy breath at the sensation.

Finding her entrance, Katniss sinks inch by inch onto his cock.

Peeta is trembling, the sensation overwhelming him. His hands grip her hips gently, but Katniss can tell that he is just barely controlling herself.

She likes the thought of losing herself to the feeling of him. Her body welcomes him, the spongy muscle inside her squeezing and molding itself to his girth.

“Please move,” he begs hoarsely.

Nodding, Katniss plants her palms to his smooth chest and raises her hips. A small groan escapes him as his cock is exposed to the warm air of the room. Her hips drop down once more and they both moan at being joined once more.

Everything shifts around them as they find their way through. His hands grasp her flesh, his fingers digging into her full cheeks as Katniss snaps her hips.

“Yes…yes…” Peeta says softly, his eyes closed and his jaw tight. “You feel so good…”

His words spur her on and Katniss reaches between them, her fingers finding her clit. She touches herself, her middle and index finger spreading wetness to the pearl at the hood of her pussy.

Occasionally when the hunger rose, Katniss used to do this in her bed at home. She’d close her eyes, imagining invisible hands caressing her, phantom lips sucking at her breasts—

However, as she touches herself, the hands…the lips at her breasts—they’re real.

They’re Peeta’s.

She comes, a strangle cry escaping her lips as she throbs around him. It doesn’t take very long for Peeta to join her, and with a thrust he fills her.

Katniss falls on top of him, feeling his seed pulsating inside her. It’s strange, but she feels her arousal rise at the thought of his essence inside her womb.

Peeta’s hand caresses her gently.  He kisses the top of her head. “Will it always be like this?”

She looks up at him, feeling the small embers of hope. They can be happy if they want to.

“With us, it can be.”

++++++

Time passes, sweet and quietly, and as spring arrives, they announce that they’re having a baby.

Everyone is overjoyed, her sister squealing in excitement at the thought of being an aunt at the tender age of thirteen. Bran and Rye pat their brother proudly on the back and Katniss laughs seeing the redness on his cheeks.

“Who knew you had it in you?” Bran jokes, an arm around Peeta.

“You poor woman,” Rye says after giving her a hug. “I think Peeta was the heaviest baby of us all.” He looks to Mrs. Mellark. “Right Mom?”

Mrs. Mellark, she hasn’t allowed Katniss to call her Mom, smiles in remembrance.

“Yes, at least eight pounds,” she tells them. “But he had the calmest temperament.”

“The same with Katniss,” her mother says beaming. “Such a good baby.”

While Katniss is happy that they’ve fallen for the lie, she can’t help but feel guilty seeing the tears in Mr. Mellark’s eyes at the news. He gathers both her and Peeta into his embrace telling them how happy he is to become a ‘Pop-Pop’.

Katniss excuses herself and steps outside to the back of the bakery, finding solace in the deep trunk of their tree. Her mind remembers that day the Peeta gave her the bread, after her father died and her mother lost herself in darkness. Prim was just getting into school while she was just shy of her teens.

She had only stopped to rest, intending to search the forest for berries. However, she knew it would be futile as it was just too cold for anything to grow.

Then, Peeta had stepped out, two loaves of burnt bread in his hands.

“It’s not much,” he told her. “But burning more than two would look suspicious.”

From then on, Katniss would come by, and they’d meet by this tree. He gave what he could, and she gave him friendship.

Though Katniss never understood how a friendship with a girl from the Seam would benefit him.

Out of nowhere, Peeta is suddenly sitting next to her. “You okay?”

She looks at him. “They’re so happy.”

“And you’re not?”

“I don’t know,” Katniss admits. Her hand goes to her stomach, to the barely there bump carrying her drunken mistake. “I didn’t love its father. Will I love it?”

“I would like to hope you will,” Peeta says slowly. “I’m not the baby’s real dad…but I love it already. I think of how it will have your dark hair and your smile—”

“It won’t have anything from you.”

“It will have my love.” Katniss can see the pain in his eyes. “That’s more than enough to make him or her mine.” He stands, holding his hand out to her. “Dinner’s ready.”

Her chest aches because deep inside her, she wishes more than anything that it had been Peeta that she had been with. He is the one who makes her feel safe and love, who makes her feel whole.

Who has become home.

Katniss is in love with him, and it only took someone else’s baby to realize it.

With his help, she stands, and her hand reaches to his wrist to still him.

Her other hand cups his cheek, and his eyes widen in shock at the gesture.

She kisses him, pressing everything she cannot say into it.

Parting, Peeta smiles widely and her heart flutters, her own mouth rising.

“Come.” He puts an arm around her. “Our mothers want to discuss names.”

++++++

“Yes…yes…Peeta!”

Summer has come and with that a sudden rise of hormone course through her as the baby grows. Katniss is insatiable, barely holding on at times, and days like today—she pulls Peeta aside from his work at the bakery to satiate her hunger.

Peeta moans into her shoulder, and the feel of his rough lips against heated skin causes her climax. She cries out into the rough fabric of shirt, grasping at it as she throbs around him. It’s enough for Peeta to fall apart, mouth glued to her neck as he comes inside her.

“Katniss,” he breathes out huskily. “So beautiful and all mine...”

They draw apart, embarrassed from letting themselves get out of hand. It’s the middle of the afternoon, the bakery closed for lunch, and they could barely contain themselves before making it to their tree. She hadn’t even bother to remove her panties, just pushing them aside so Peeta could slide inside her.

She giggles. “I’m really glad that no one comes by here.”

“Agreed.” Peeta quickly zips up, beaming at her. “You should eat before getting back to the counter.”

“Don’t tell your mom but I’ve been stealing biscuits in-between customers,” she informs him as they head back inside. “I’ve been blaming the inventory issues on Rye.”

Her husband snorts, leading her towards the back entrance of the bakery.

“Probably deserves it,” he assures her.

Walking inside, they are greeted by her in-laws. Her father-in-law complexion is flushed while her mother-in-law is trying in vain to look calm as she sips her tea.

“Katniss was feeling under the weather,” Peeta tells them. “I took her out for some air.”

“Is that why there are sap needles in her hair?” his mother replies, a smirk on her lips. “From getting air?”

Katniss can barely stop her laughter but holds it in for the sake of her father-in-law and Peeta, who looks about ready to bust.

When her mother-in-law wants to, Mrs. Mellark shows them that she has a sense of humor.

“Come along, Peeta.” She takes Peeta’s hand. “We have to refill the cases.”

They step into the front and Katniss lets out a laugh. Peeta follows, holding on the counter to keep himself from falling over. It feels good to laugh with him; this man who she loves desperately but has no courage whatsoever to admit it.

He reaches into one of the cases and takes out a biscuit for her.

“Eat, love. I’ll finish getting everything ready.”

Katniss takes a plate and splits the biscuit in half, sighing contentedly as she fills her stomach.

Then a sudden swoop in her stomach takes her by surprise. “Oh!”

“I think the baby is moving!” Katniss calls out. “Come here!”

Her husband is at her side within seconds, moving behind her to wrap his arms around her waist.

“Show me where,” he says, his eyes shining.

Taking his hands, Katniss places them on her swell. “It feels like he or she is tumbling.”

“Your mom said I probably wouldn’t feel anything,” he informs her. “All the books say so too.”

She holds in a smile thinking of the pile of books on pregnancy and childbirth on his side table, some earmarked whenever he reads find something interesting to tell her.

“Doesn’t matter. You should experience this.”

Their eyes meet over her shoulder and Peeta kisses her gently, pulling away to just press a kiss to the tip of her nose.

“I love you, Katniss,” he whispers.

“I know you do,” she replies, her heart aching.

Just not the way Katniss wants.

“No, I mean—”

The bakery door opens and Gale Hawthorne steps in, cool-eyed as he meets her suddenly anxious gaze.

“We need to talk,” he says. “I remember everything.”

++++++

“Are you really going to talk to him?” Peeta paces their bedroom floor. “Do you think he’s told someone?”

“I don’t know,” she replies. “Please come to bed, Peeta.”

“I’m just worried.” He walks over to their bed, slipping in beside her. “What if he tries to claim the baby? Or he takes this to the courts? What if—”

What if he tries to take them away?

It’s the question that is the loudest in their silent room.

“Peeta,” she starts. “There is nothing we can do right now but see what he has to say.” Her hands reached, cradling his cheeks so she can steady the panicked man. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Peeta sighs, leaning into her touch. “I know. It’s hard not to worry.”

They both don’t sleep that night, their hands grasped tightly together and their marriage hanging on a thread. It is one thing for their lie to be exposed but it is another for the baby to have to suffer. They don’t know what Gale has planned—and it scares the shit out of them.

Also, there is so much left unsaid.

She watches Peeta finally fall into a fitful sleep and her eyes travel through the dimness of their room. She can see the beginning of a crib in front of their bed, a present from her in-laws. Rye, Bran, and Peeta plan to work on it after her mother and Prim are done with the baby’s bedding.

In the corner of the room is a pile of cloth diapers that Mrs. Mellark has been sewing for the baby. She does them on her downtime at the bakery.

And Mr. Mellark—or Dad, as he insists, she calls him—is trying to work on a mobile for the crib. He wants to surprise them, but she spied the drawing once while she was helping prep the kitchen.

Katniss doesn’t want to lose them.

She doesn’t want to lose Peeta.

“I’m going to fight for you,” she promises his sleeping form. “For our family.”

++++++

Gale agrees to meet somewhere discreet but public. It is how Katniss finds herself at Sae’s—where it started.

She sits across from him, nursing a cup of water, as she awaits whatever he has to say.

“How far along are you?” Gale finally asks.

Her hand goes to her stomach protectively. “About five months.”

“And it’s mi—” He stops to makes sure no one is listening. “—healthy?”

Katniss meets his penetrating gaze, nodding discreetly.

“My mom does regular checkups,” she informs him. “Peeta is there for every appointment. We just recently got to hear the heartbeat.”

Gale nods before taking a sip of his drink. “I had a dream about that night—and it all came rushing back.” He looks at her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that it was your first time—"

“Don’t.” Katniss steels herself. “I don’t remember any of it. To me, my first time was with my husband.”

“And he knows?”

“I told him first,” she says. “He’s my best friend.”

Gale eyes her. “Just your best friend?”

“Peeta is more to me than he realizes.” Her breath catches at the thought of the man waiting for at home, ridden with anxiety. They held tightly to one another until she had to go. “What do you want from me? From us?”

“You know, I’ve never wanted children,” he suddenly says. “I’ve spent my life taking care of my brothers and sister. Now, I just want to do something for myself. However, before I leave for District 2 for my new job—” Gale sighs before looking at her. “I don’t want anything from you, Katniss. I just wanted to make sure that you were okay.”

Katniss lets out a breath, her eyes filling in relief.

“I’m happy,” she tells him. “I’m married to my best friend, the love of my life, and we’re having a baby.”

Gale nods, sincerity in his gaze. “Then, I’m happy for you.”

++++++

As soon as Katniss in sight of the bakery, Peeta rushes over from his spot at their tree.

“Are you alright?” he asks immediately.

“I’m fine.” She reaches for him, wanting to make sure this man before her is real. “I love you, Peeta. Not just as a friend…you’ve never been just a friend to me. I wished I hadn’t taken so long to tell you. I know that you might not feel the same, and I understand, even accept it. But I just wanted to know—”

“Katniss—” Peeta pulls her into arms, leaning down to press his forehead to his. “I’m in love with you.” A happy sob escapes her, and he reaches gently to wipe her tears. “I wanted it to be real, not because of the baby but because there is no one else I’d rather be with.”

Katniss smiles, her eyes on him and only for him.

“One day, will you marry me…again?”

Peeta doesn’t reply.

Instead, he covers her mouth with his, answering her with his kiss.

+++++

They name her Ayla.

It is only appropriate as Katniss’ water breaks under the oak tree that has been a witness to her parents story; now it would bare witness to her own.

She comes into the world surrounded by her loved ones.

Katniss’ mother helps with the delivery in the early hours of winter. Prim and Peeta’s mother—who insists that Katniss calls her ‘mother’ now—help clean the wailing baby up. Rye and Bran take photo after photo as Peeta cuts the cord and the newly anointed Pop-Pop places Ayla in Katniss’ arms.

She sees no trace of Gale in her child, though it is still early.

However, her eyes are clearly Katniss’, almond-shaped and full of curiosity.

“She is beautiful.” Peeta stares at their daughter in awe. “Just like you.”

Katniss watches as he cradles Ayla in his arms, singing softly at the little one, and her chest fills, practically bursting with everything she is feeling in the moment.

“Are you okay?” Her husband asks. “You just had a look on your face.”

“It’s just…we’re a family.”

Peeta joins her on the bed, placing Ayla back in her arms before kissing her softly.

“You know, we never had that wedding that you talked about.”

She smiles before gazing down at the miracle before her.

“We’ll get there.”

++++++

On their one-year anniversary, Peeta finds her and Ayla at their tree. It’s not an unusual sight.

However, the fire pit and the loaf of bread are.

Sitting down, he turns to his wife, dressed prettily in a long white dress with flowers in her hair. She cradles Ayla in a pure white mink blanket as their daughter sleeps contently in her mother’s arms.

“What is this?”

Katniss looks at him, a smile playing on her lips.

“Have you heard of a toasting?”

FIN.

*Ayla = Oak Tree

#whiwhitetiger #anon #request #Everlark #Everlark Fanfiction #rated m #everlark as best friends and more #district12!everlark #no hunger games au

[theartofdreaming1]

Katniss, bravely stepping inbetween Gale and Thread (and his whip) - she’s so courageous and protective, she deserves the world 😭

As usual, my thoughts regarding this week’s prompts and (many) random thoughts on chapters 7-9 are below the cut. (Is it just me, or are my notes getting longer and longer with each and every post? I swear, this book is so meaty, we’ll soon reach the point where I have to type out the entire chapter, with my thoughts in the margins)

heart

“Gale is mine. I am his. Anything else in unthinkable.” 

I think these words are a result of Katniss being so afraid of losing Gale that she’s kinda overcompensating; their relationship has been strained these past few months and they’d just had a row, separating from each other on bad terms - and the next time she sees him, he’s been whipped so bad that he’s lost consciousness and could be potentially dying from his wounds. Of course she’s so terrified of losing him, that she’s holding on as tightly as she can to him. It’s important to keep in mind how important their relationship is to her and we see that in her preceding thoughts: What a pair we were - fatherless, frightened, but fiercely commited, too, to keeping our families alive. Desperate, yet no longer alone after that day, because we’d found each other. I think of a hundred moments in the woods, lazy afternoons fishing, the day I taught him to swim, that time I twisted my knee and he carried me home. Mutually counting each other, watching each other’s backs, forcing each other to be brave. - Gale was the first person who was her equal, a kindred spirit, her partner. After Katniss had lost both of her parents when her father died and her mother succumbed to her depression - the people who were supposed to care for her and guide her through growing up - she was stuck with the role of sole provider and protector of her family at age eleven. She must have been so lonely all this time until she met this boy who understood what she was going through and they learned from each other and shouldered their burdens together, to take off some of the overwhelming pressure. Of course that relationship, of course Gale is important to her. But also now their relationship has become more fragile, after the Games they are in danger of growing apart - it’s got to be so terrifying to feel like the one proper, mutual relationship you’ve had seems to be slipping through your fingers. With everything that’s going on, her entire life as it is teetering on the razor’s edge (heck, the president himself has been threatening her and her family!), it’s no wonder that Katniss is craving that familiarity and safety that her relationship with Gale used to provide her with. And seeing Gale in this state just has her holding on to him more tightly than ever.

mind

Hmm, no big moment is coming to my mind right now; I think I’m always most impressed by the tiny moments that show how tenacious, resilient and fiercely kind humans can be - like Darius stepping forward to stop Gale’s cruel punishment, Leevy volunteering to tell Hazelle about Gale and promising to stay with the Hawthorne children, Madge bringing the morphling, Katniss pressing Darius’s hand in the Training Center, Twill taking Bonnie with her to flee to D13 and so on.

soul

I believe that Katniss was honestly surprised to learn that Gale had feelings for her; she had categorically shut down the idea of entering a romantic relationship for herself, so I don’t think she’d seriously consider anyone being romantically interested in her in return (that’s not how that works, of course, but I think that’s how she perceived the whole shtick). Their kiss threw her completely for a loop and if anything, she mostly saw it as something that contributed to the deterioration of their previous, easy and comfortable relationship.

Chapter 7

A mockingjay is a creature the Capitol never intended to exist. [...] They hadn’t anticipated its will to live. - In a way, the Capitol continues to make this mistake with the people living in the districts, too - underestimating their will to live (opposed to just surviving)

I look in his [Gale’s] eyes. His temper can’t quite mask the hurt, the sense of betrayal he feels at my engagement to Peeta. This will be my last chance, this meeting today, to not lose Gale forever. - Okay, we don’t know how much Katniss might be (incorrectly) presuming here, but the idea that Gale might feel betrayal because his best friend is being forced into an engagement pisses me off. It’s fine if he’s feeling jealous because she’s being paired off with Peeta when he wishes he could have a shot with her, but how in the world does this even rate as a betrayal?! A) It’s done against her will and B) Just because they’re friends doesn’t mean Katniss owes him anything when we’re talking about romantic feelings... Ugh 😒 Also, it’s quite noteworthy how insecure Katniss feels about their relationship - she’s constantly worried Gale will drop her and their friendship (waiting for Gale after the camera teams left after winning the Games: I’d begun to think that he’d given up on me in the weeks that had passed.- Ch. 2) and it doesn’t help that she’s been through that extreme, traumatic experience without him and they haven’t had much opportunity to spend a lot of time with each other (with the Victory Tour and Gale having to work so much) and when they do hang out, they don’t seem to really talk much, which doesn’t exactly help...

He [Gale] tosses the gloves on my lap. “Here. I don’t want your fiancé’s old gloves.” “He’s not my fiancé. That’s just part of the act. And these aren’t his gloves. They were Cinna’s,” I say. “Give them back, then, he says. - Gale can be so petty sometimes 🙄

While I talk, [...] [Gale] occupies himself with turning the food in the leather bag into a meal for us. Toasting bread and cheese, coring apples, placing chestnuts in the fire to roast. I watch his hands, his beautiful, capable fingers. Scarred, as mine were before the Captiol erased all marks from my skin, but strong and deft. [...] Hands I trust. - Oh boy, this moment really shows how these two are at cross purposes right now - Gale’s prepping the food as you would for a toasting (romantic connotation), while Katniss is oberserving his hands, thinking how their hands used to match (not anymore!) and basically wishing herself back into the time before the Games, when things were ‘simpler’/more clearly defined (and also platonic!); there is nothing romantic from her P.O.V. - it’s all about the friendship and trust

[Gale] steps in and I feel myself lifted off the ground. The room spins, and I have to lock my arms around Gale’s neck to brace myself. He’s laughing, happy. “Hey!” I protest, but I’m laughing, too. Gale sets me down but doesn’t release his hold on me. “Okay, let’s run away.” [...] “You’re sure?” I say. [...] “I’m sure. I’m completely, entirely, one hundred percent sure.” - Yeah, and I’m sure you’re not going to change your opinion in the next five minutes, Gale... In his defense, Gale didn’t know all the details, so in that regard it’s totally valid that he might decide to change his mind after having more input... It’s just that Katniss specifically asks him whether he’s sure and his reply is so full of conviction (100% sure!), only for him to do a complete 180 just a couple of minutes later; Gale’s very hot and cold, which makes for such a harsh contrast when compared to Peeta’s more measured reaction later in the chapter

He tilts his forehead down to rest against mine and pulls me closer. [...] I don’t try to move away. Why should I, anyway? His voice drops to a whisper. “I love you.” That’s why. - Oh man, Katniss just can’t catch a break 😞 Really not wise of Gale to drop the L-bomb here (after, what? a kiss they never talked about and little else... their communication is truly abysmal and it’s really damaging to their relationship, hurting the both of them)

“Gale, I can’t think about anyone that way now. All I can think about, every day, is how afraid I am. And there doesn’t seem to be room for anything else. If we could get somewhere safe, maybe I could be different. I don’t know.” I can see him swallowing his disappointment. “So, we’ll go. We’ll find out.” - I mean, honestly, I totally understand where Katniss is coming from - she doesn’t need a romantic interest, she needs a partner, which is why she’s been so eager to talk to her hunting partner, someone she’s used to rely on for survival and now he’s also confounding their relationship by introducing that romance-angle (as if it wasn’t bad enough that her relationship with Peeta got kind of messed up when that same angle was forced upon them prematurely)... Also, telling how Katniss thinks she’d have to be different to maybe even consider a romantic relationship with Gale - Katniss as she is right now just can’t see herself wanting to be with Gale romantically; it would require a change... I’ve got to give Gale credit for still going along with it, and trying to push past his disappointment, though

“My [Gale’s] mother is going to take some convincing.” [...] “Mine, too. I’ll just have to make her see reason. Take her for a long walk. Make sure she understands we won’t survive the alternative.” “She’ll understand. I watched a lot of the Games with her and Prim. She won’t say no to you,” says Gale. - That’s interesting, I wonder what exactly Gale means by that? That Mrs. Everdeen won’t say no to Katniss because she feels guilty that Katniss had to go through the Games or because watching her daughter compete in the Games really made her realize how messed up Panem is? Or that she’s more inclined to trust Katniss’s judgement after everything that has happened?

“Haymitch will be the real challenge.” “Haymitch?” Gale abandons the chestnuts. “You’re asking him to come with us?” “I have to, Gale. I can’t leave him and Peeta because they’d-” His scowl cuts me off. “What?” “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how large our party was,” he snaps at me. - Gale doesn’t seem to have realized how close and important Peeta and Haymitch have become to Katniss... maybe because they never properly talked about this aspect of Katniss’s life (I swear, their shoddy communication must account for at least half of the damage their relationship has taken in these past few months alone)

“What if he [Peeta] decides to stay?” he [Gale] asks. I try to sound indifferent, but my voice cracks. “Then he stays.” “You’d leave him behind?” Gale asks. “To save Prim and my mother, yes,” I answer. “I mean, no! I’ll get him to come.” “And me, would you leave me?” Gale’s expression is rock hard now. - Boy, oh boy! I think Gale knows (like Peeta) that Katniss could never leave behind the people she cares about; then, he’s kind of gauging whether Peeta has already received the Katniss Everdeen Stamp of ‘Caring’ - and, as it turns out, he has! And then Gale ends up making it into a bit of  competition by asking her whether she would leave him behind (or, alternately, her turning him down has him confused about the depth of their relationship, I dunno); not fun

“There’s an uprising in Eight?” he [Gale] says in a hushed voice. I try to backpedal. To defuse him, as I tried to defuse the districts. - Katniss is going to be about as successful as she’d been at defusing the districts, too - But here we have another example of Katniss trying to rein in Gale’s temper because she’s afraid he’s going to get himself in trouble (like when she decided not to tell him about Snow’s visit to her house because she was worried what he’d do with that information)... It’s really not great that she feels the need to censor herself so he won’t do something dangerous... Katniss knows first-hand how badly impulsive actions and decisions can be received in the Capitol - and she never even meant for a rebellion to happen!

“And it’s my fault, Gale. Because of what I did in the arena. If I had just killed myself with those berries, none of this would’ve happened. Peeta could have come home and lived, and everyone else would have been safe. too.” “Safe to do what?” he says in a gentler tone. “Starve? Work like slaves? Send their kids to the reaping? You haven’t hurt people - you’ve given them an opportunity. They just have to be brave enough to take it. - Katniss is taking all the responsibility upon herself again... Gale is right to point out that she was merely a catalyst, not the cause for the rebellion - the cause are the awful living conditions of the people in the districts

“Stop it! You don’t know what you’re saying. The Peacekeepers outside of Twelve, they’re not like Darius, or even Cray! The lives of district people - they mean less than nothing to them!” I say. “That’s why we have to join the fight!” he answers harshly. “No! we have to leave here before they kill us and a lot of other people, too!” [...] “You leave, then, I’d never go in a million years.” [...] “What about your family?” “What about the other families, Katniss? The ones who can’t run away?” - This discourse is so painful because they are both right - Katniss has seen more of the districts and how things are handled beyond the (relatively tame) confines of D12 and it’s fair that she wants to know that the people she cares about are safe from harm; Gale, of course, has a point commenting that not everyone has that opportunity and the only way to have a long-lasting, wide-spread improvement of their conditions is through rebelling against their oppressor - but that will inevitably come along with sacrifices and collateral damage and it’s easy to say that it will be worth it in the long run, but when those who are hurt/dead could end up being your loved ones, it’s definitely easier said than done

He throws Cinna’s gloves at my feet. “I changed my mind. I don’t want anything they made in the Capitol.” And he’s gone. I look down at the gloves. Anything they made in the Capitol? Was that directed at me? Does he think I am now just another product of the Capitol and therefore something untouchable? The unfairness of it all fills me with rage. But it’s mixed up with fear over what kind of crazy thing he might do next. - Gale getting rid of Cinna’s gloves just because they are from the Capitol is a prime example of this “us vs. them” mindset that he will be (worringly) fast to adopt - of course, perceiving the opposite side as “other” will make it easier to fight against them; however, it’s all too easy to lose sight of your opponent’s humanity when you think like that (think of how Gale has a hard time understanding Katniss’s distress upon seeing her prep team being treated so terribly/inhumanely in D13); Katniss feeling upset that Gale might perceive her as a product of the Capitol instead of its victim is understandable (and isn’t that exactly what the inhabitants of D13 are going to think of Peeta in MJ?) - and yet, she is still worried Gale could get himself into trouble with his impulsivity; she’s a good bean

”Going to town?” I ask. “Yes. I’m supposed to eat dinner with my family,” he [Peeta] says. - I’m tripping over the word ‘supposed’ here - it doesn’t sound like Peeta’s looking forward to hanging out with his fam, although it can’t be that often, since they’ve been away on Victory Tour and he is living alone (maybe the end of the chapter will give us another hint why that is 😒😒)... I can’t help but wonder whether these family dinners are mainly for public perception (in that case... it really is no wonder Peeta is so good at playing the cameras - poor guy had to fool the outside world his entire life) or because they are the only chance for Peeta to hang out with any of the members of his family he might actually want to spend some time with

“Peeta, if I asked you to run away from the district with me, would you?” Peeta takes my arm, bringing me to a stop. He doesn’t need to check my face to see if I’m serious. “Depends on why you’re asking.” President Snow wasn’t convinced by me. There’s an uprising in District Eight. We have to get out,” I say. “By ‘we’ do you mean just you and me? No. Who else would be going?” he asks. - Peeta doesn’t just blindly agree to Katniss’s proposal; he needs to know what’s going on first (he has been burnt before - no more secrets!) - and it’s a testament to how well he knows her that as soon as he’s asking whether she meant just the two of them, he corrects himself because knows that Katniss would never leave the ones she cares about behind

“What about Gale?” he says. “I don’t know. He might have other plans,” I say. Peeta shakes his head and gives me rueful smile. “I bet he does. Sure, Katniss, I’ll go.” I feel a slight twinge of hope. “You will?” “Yeah. But I don’t think for a minute you will,” he says. [...] “Then you don’t know me. Be ready. It could be any time.” - Telling how Peeta immediately agrees to the plan once he gathers that Gale won’t come - he knows that Katniss cares about Gale and could never leave him behind, ergo she’d never actually leave under these circumstances - he knows her so well. Also, Katniss’s reaction is like that of a petulant child, it’s kind of funny 😄

“Katniss, hold up.” [...] “I really will go, if you want me to. I just think we better talk it through with Haymitch. Make sure we won’t be making things worse for everyone.” - Ultimately, Peeta would follow Katniss to the ends of the earth - doesn’t mean that he can’t throw in a sensible suggestion in there as well 😉 (Also, in the next chapter we will see how Katniss, Gale, and Peeta might be a little too inexperienced/naive to be able to form accurate expectations of what is to come - Haymitch and his generation have a little more experience in that regard)

He raises his head. “What’s that?” [...] I haven’t noticed the strange noise coming from the square. A whistling, the sound of an impact, the intake of breath from a crowd. “Come on,” Peeta says, his face suddenly hard. I don’t know why. I can’t place the sound, even guess at the situation. But it means something bad to him. - Why does my sweet boy know what a whipping sounds like, Suzanne, huh?! Care to explain that? 😭

Peeta steps up on a crate against the wall of the sweetshop and offers me a hand while he scans the square. I’m halfway up when he suddenly blocks my way. “Get down. Get out of here!” He’s whispering, but his voice is harsh with insistence. - Peeta was offering his hand to help Katniss up the crate because they are a team (and he’s a gentleman)! It’s only when he recognizes who is receiving those lashes and realizes that Katniss will lose her shit once she knows, which could make the current situation even worse, that he urges her to leave, and he is not the only one to think that: - Voices hiss. “Get out of here, girl.” “Only make it worse.” What do you want to do? Get him killed?”

Chapter 8

It’s too late to stop the arm from descending, and I instinctively know I won’t have the power to block it. Instead I throw myself directly between the whip and Gale. I’ve flung out my arms to protext as much of his broken body as possible, so there’s nothing to deflect the lash. I take the full force of it across the left side of my face. - Katniss is so selfless; she knows that it’s either Gale getting hit again or a lash to her own face and she chooses the latter

“Hold it!” a voice barks. Haymitch appears and trips over a Peacekeeper lying on the ground. It’s Darius. [...] He’s knocked out but still breathing. What happened? Did he try to come to Gale’s aid before I got here? - Haymitch sure appeared quickly - I can easily imagine Peeta taking off immediately to get him (or send someone to bring him to the square) once he knew Katniss couldn’t be stopped; but if Haymitch had been at his house in Victor’s Village, there is no way he’d have made that quickly to the square... maybe he was already at the Hob and had gotten wind of the whole situation? Also, poor Darius! Wearing a uniform/being in some sort of position of power is no guarantee you won’t get punished as soon as you show the tiniest glimpse of compassion - in a place like Panem, nobody is safe from the caprice of the people in charge

I see a flicker of recognition in the eyes of the man with the whip. [...] it wouldn’t be easy to identify me as the victor of the last Hunger Games. Especially with half my face swelling up. But Haymitch has been showing up on television for years, and he’d be difficult to forget. - Getting Haymitch truly was the smartest move to make (which is why I’m pretty sure it was a move on Peeta’s part - he’d know how to use reminders of ‘appearances’ to ensure a punishment wouldn’t go ‘too far’, y’know 😢). But also - Thread must have lived under a flipping rock, to not being able to recognizes Katniss (her face must have been plastered all over the place during the Victory Tour, which just had concluded recently) - or he was just too in the heat of the moment, with someone opposing him, bleugh 😒

“He [Gale] was poaching. What business is it of hers, anyway?” says the man. “He’s her cousin.” Peeta’s got my other arm now, but gently. “And she’s my fiancée. So if you want to get to him, expect to go through both of us.” - I love how Peeta’s just laying it down as it is; his phrasing just sounds so factual, rather than provocative (although it is, of course); he really has a way with words - Maybe we’re it. The only three people in the district who could make a stand like this. Although it’s sure to be temporary. There will be repercussions. - Haymitch, Peeta, and Katniss working together as a team again! Also, a good example of the effect people with public influence can have 

One [Peacekeeper], a woman named Purnia who eats regularly at Greasy Sae’s, steps forward stiffly. “I believe, for a first offense, the required number of lashes has been dispensed, sir. Unless your sentence is death, which we would carry out by firing squad.” “Is that the standard protocol here?” asks the Head Peacekeeper. “Yes, sir,” Purnia says, and several others nod in agreement. I’m sure none of them actually know because, in the Hob, the standard protocol for someone showing up with a wild turkey is for everybody to bid on the drumsticks. - It’s kinda nice to see the local Peacekeepers supporting Purnia’s claim to get this display to stop - this is the only way out of this situation where Thread’s authority is not openly challenged (and we know Thread doesn’t take well to having his authority challenged - see Darius)

There’s no stretcher, but the old woman at the clothing stall sells us the board that serves as her countertop. “Just don’t tell where you got it,” she says, packing up the rest of her goods quickly. Most of the square has emptied, fear getting the better of compassion. But after what happened, I can’t blame anyone. - It’s sad how that air of intimidation makes people want to mask their acts of compassion (and also says a lot about the precariousness of the existing living situations if that old lady is still selling that board - I’d never even consider exchanging money for that, but that’s probably my privileged situation showing here; Katniss brings up the theme of fear vs compassion - very fitting, since it seems to be her driving force (although, generally, her compassion wins out over her fear) and despite her assertion that fear appears to be getting the better of compassion we see a good amount of people reaching out to help, such as the following example:

Leevy, a girl who lives a few houses down from mine in the Seam, takes my arm. My mother kept her little brother alive last year when he caught the measles. “Need help getting back?” Her gray eyes are scared but determined. - The subtle suggestion here that Leevy might be further motivated to help out because Katniss’s mom helped her little brother is also an excellent example of how kindness breeds kindness

“Get some snow on that,” Haymitch orders over his shoulder. I scoop up a handful of snow and press it against my cheek, numbing a bit of the pain. - This moment reminded me of Peeta immediately reaching for some ice from that fruit tureen after Haymitch hit him on their way to the Games in THG (Ch. 4) - their different immediate reactions to getting hit in the face could simply be due to the fact that Katniss is a little too preoccupied worrying about Gale to think about her injury, of course, but I feel like you could also interpret them as examples for how much experience Katniss and Peeta have with being hit in the face, respectively...

Gale must have gone to Cray’s house, as he’s done a hundred times, knowing Cray pays well for a wild turkey. Instead he found the new Head Peacekeeper, a man they heard someone call Romulus Thread. No one knows what happened to Cray. He was buying white liquor in the Hob just this morning [...] but now he’s nowhere to be found. - As I’ve already mentioned regarding Darius, inhabiting some position of power does not guarantee you any safety in Panem (there is always someone more powerful who will treat their inferiors like garbage, if they feel like it)

By the time I showed up, he [Gale]’d been lashed at least forty times. He passed out around thirty. - Jesus 😨 poor Gale!

“What about Darius?” Peeta asks.“ After about twenty lashes, he stepped in, saying that was enough. Only he didn’t do it smart and official, like Purnia did. He grabbed Thread’s arm and Thread hit him in the head with the butt of the whip. Nothing good waiting for him,” says Bristel. - It’s so messed up how it is not enough to have someone who’d stand up and do something about a horrible situation - they have to do it the right way, or else they’re toast; there really shouldn’t have to be a smart way of doing the right thing

Snow begins, thick and wet, making visibility even more difficult. - (President) Snow is coming down hard on them, making it hard to see what’s up ahead

Ever so gently, she [Mrs. Everdeen] begins to clean the mutilated flesh on Gale’s back. I feel sick to the stomach, useless, the remaining snow dripping from my glove into a puddle on the floor. Peeta puts me in a chair and holds a cloth filled with fresh snow to my cheek. - Although she’s quite squeamish, Katniss stays as Gale gets treated (the force that holds the loved ones of the hurt/dying, just like when Peeta was being treated after their Games); meanwhile, Peeta is taking care of Katniss - there is so much care + love to be found in this moment

My mother has to save the strongest [painkillers] for the worst pain, but what is the worst pain? To me, it’s always the pain that is present. If I were in charge, those painkillers would be gone in a day because I have so little ability to watch suffering. - Honestly, same; I can’t stomach seeing other people suffer without feeling overwhelmed and feeling like crying... I don’t know how professionals do it

“Just give him the medicine!” I scream at her. [...] “Take her out,” says my mother. Haymitch and Peeta literally carry me from the room while I shout obscenities at her. They pin me down on a bed in one of the extra bedrooms until I stop fighting. - Oof. Poor Katniss! But yeah, it was the best call to remove her from the situation, Mrs. E. had to focus on what she was doing... Also, Haymitch and Peeta are the ones to get Katniss out of there and stay with her - these three take care of each other!

After a while, my mother comes in and treats my face. Then she holds my hand, stroking my arm, while Haymitch fills her in on what happened with Gale. “So it’s starting again?” she says. “Like before?” - Katniss’s mom has become a much more active and soothing presence in this book, I like it... Also, what does “again” mean? Does this imply there has been an attempted uprising in D12 that needed to be squashed before?

Cray would have been disliked, anyway, because of the uniform he wore, but it was his habit of luring starving young women into his bed for money that made him an object of loathing in the district. In really bad times, the hungriest would gather at his door at nightfall, vying for the chance to earn a few coins to feed their families by selling their bodies. Had I been older when my father died, I might have been among them. - Horrifying and absolutely disgusting 🤢 Those poor women! How desperate they must have been! 

... when the doorbell rings, I shoot straight out of bed. [...] “They [the peacekeepers] can’t have him,” I say. “Might be you they’re after,” Haymitch reminds me. “Or you,” I say. “Not my house,” Haymitch points out. “But I’ll get the door.” “No, I’ll get it,” says my mother quietly. - Again, Mrs. Everdeen is taking the initiative! She was so watered down in the movies

[Madge] holds out a small, damp cardboard box to me. “Use these for your friend,” she says. I take off the lid of the box, revealing half a dozen vials of clear liquid. [...] “What is that stuff?” asks Peeta. “It’s from the Capitol. It’s called morphling,” my mother answers. “I didn’t even know Madge knew Gale,” says Peeta. “We used to sell her strawberries,” I say almost angrily. What am I angry about, though? Not that she has brought the medicine, surely. “She must have quite a taste for them,” says Haymitch. That’s what nettles me. It’s the implication that there’s something going on between Gale and Madge. And I don’t like it. “She’s my friend” is all I say. - I mean, Katniss could be mad because A) Gale had literally just told her he loved her a few hours ago and if there was something (reciprocated) going on between Gale and Madge, that would have been pretty shitty for both girls involved and also B) she is friends with both of them and it would be hurtful to learn that two of your closest friends had been seeing each other without telling you anything about it... also, she’s super upset over Gale getting so seriously hurt just after they’d had an argument, her feelings are all over the place

... I’m selfish. I’m a coward. I’m the kind of girl, who, when she might actually be of use, would run to stay alive and leave those who couldn’t follow to suffer and die. This is the girl Gale met in the woods today. No wonder I won the Games. No decent person ever does. You saved Peeta, I think weakly. But now I question even that. I knew good and well that my life back in District 12 would be unlivable if I let that boy die. - Yes, Katniss, you knew that your life back in D12 would have been unlivable if he died - but not because you feared that people would shun you; it was because you “couldn’t lose the boy with the bread” and because “if he dies, I’ll never go home, not really”... This is an excellent example of how distorted your memories can get when you are in a bad headspace at present

The berries. I realize the answer to who I am lies in that handful poisonous fruit. If I held them out to save Peeta because I knew I would be shunned if I came back without him, then I am despicable. If I held them out because I loved him, I am still self-centered, although forgivable. But if I held them out to defy the Capitol, I am someone of worth. - Katniss, you don’t have to be planning to overthrow a corrupt and cruel government to be someone of worth! You’re someone of worth just by being yourself! - The trouble is, I don’t know exactly what was going on inside me at that moment. - Frankly, very rarely are our motivations clearly defined by a single factor - or my professor would not have been able to teach an entire semester-long course on motivation psychology😉)

Chapter 9

Gale’s dead to the world, but his fingers are locked around mine. I smell fresh bread and turn my stiff neck to find Peeta looking down at me with such a sad expression. I get the sense that he’s been watching us awhile. “Go on up to bed, Katniss. I’ll look after him now,” he says. - Peeta! Must have been hard for him to see Katniss like this (and the underlying strength of Katniss and Gale’s relationship, when his relationship with Katniss is still not all that solidified), and yet he’s being such a good bean about it 😭

I give a strangled cry and wake with a start, sweating and shivering at once. Cradling my damaged cheek in my hand, I remind myself that it was not Clove but Thread who gave me this wound. I wish that Peeta were here to hold me, until I remember I’m not supposed to wish that anymore. I have chosen Gale and the rebellion, and a future with Peeta is the Capitol’s design, not mine. - Katniss, gurl... Maybe your instinctive desire to receive comfort from Peeta is trying to tell you something??!? Also, Katniss is forcing this strange dichotomous association of Gale = rebellion and Peeta = Capitol, when in just a bit, she’s clearly connecting Peeta to the rebellion as well (aside from the fact that Peeta was basically the first person to suggest to her that maybe a rebellion was necessary... just saying)

Fighting the Capitol assures their swift retaliation. I must accept that at any moment I can be arrested. [...] There might be torture. Mutliation. A bullet through the skull in the town square [...] I imagine these things and I’m terrified, but let’s face it: They’ve been lurking in the back of my brain, anyway. [...] I’m already a target. - Oh geez! Despite admitting that she’s terrified of what the Capitol is capable fo doing to her, Katniss is still pretty composed naming the possible horrors in store for her, which is just a heartbreaking reminder of how many terrible things she has already had to endure.🙁

Now comes the harder part. I have to face the fact that my family and friends might share this fate. Prim. I need only to think of Prim and all my resolve disintegrates. It’s my job to protect her. [...] I can’t let the Capitol hurt Prim. - 😭😭😭 Katniss has reached a point where she can put her own need for survival/physical intactness aside, but the thought of something awful happening to Prim stops her short (it’s so strange to think that, in a twisted way, it wasn’t the Capitol who’d ended up inflicting the final harm upon Prim...)

And then it hit’s me. They already have. They have killed her father in those wretched mines. They have sat by as she almost starved to death. [...] She has been hurt far worse than I had at the age of twelve. And even that pales in comparison with Rue’s life. [...] Prim... Rue... aren’t they the very reason I have to try to fight? Because what has been done to them is so wrong, so beyond justification, so evil that there is no choice? Because no one has the right to treat them as they have been treated? Yes. This is the thing to remember when fear threatens to swallow me up. What I am about to do, whatever any of us are forced to endure, it is for them. - All these things are very true and it’s also very fitting that the main motivation for Katniss would be to ensure a better future for the children of Panem (and to avenge the evils done to the people close to her heart... while Katniss of course can see the abstract bigger picture/reason for the rebellion, she always operates best when it comes to specific people/circumstances she has a deep, personal connection with)... But also: all these things apply to you, too, Katniss! Despite your tendency to feel responsible for everything and everyone, you’re still a child that had to grow up way too fast and had to endure way too much!

We need someone to direct us and reassure us this is possible. And I don’t think I’m that person. I may have been a catalyst for rebellion, but a leader should be someone with conviction, and I’m barely a convert myself. Someone with unflinching courage, and I’m still working hard at finding mine. Someone with clear and persuasive words, and I’m so easily tongue-tied. Words. I think of words and I think of Peeta. - Katniss’s idea of a great leader for the rebellion is Peeta - interesting, isn’t it (she could have considered Gale, but no)? She makes a good point, though: it helps when a leader has plenty of charisma, and our boy has that in spades; he’s got a good set of morals, is not above joining in on the action/risking his own neck when the need arises and is very genuine and purposeful with his words and actions, which is inspiring... I think Katniss is severely underselling how courageous she is, though

He could move a crowd to action, I bet, if he chose to. Would find the things to say. But I’m sure the idea has never crossed his mind. - Why would you assume that, Katniss? Peeta’s literally the one to suggest to you that trying to placate the district might not be the right thing to do... Peeta’s not someone who’d stir up trouble just for the sake of stirring up trouble, sure; he’s much more deliberate about doing things the ‘right’ way, but he’s not generally opposed to challenging authorities (he’s literally the one to openly gift some of your winnings to another district!)

She knows what she’s doing, my mother. I feel a pang of remorse about yesterday, the awful things I yelled at her as Peeta and Haymitch dragged me from the kitchen. “I’m sorry. About screaming at you yesterday.” - It’s so sweet how Katniss feels sorry for yelling at her mom and apologizes to her; their relationship really has improved so much in this book - “I’ve heard worse,” she says. “You’ve seen how people are, when someone they love is in pain.” Someone they love. [...] Of course, I love Gale. But what kind of love does she mean? What do I mean when I say I love Gale? I don’t know. I did kiss him last night, in a moment when my emotions were running so high. But i’m sure he doesn’t remember it. Does he? I hope not. - Katniss is struggling to figure out in what way she loves Gale... She definitely doesn’t want him to remember their kiss because she knows it wouldn’t be fair to give him the hope that she might be able to return his romantic feelings when she is still in the dark about her own

... and I can’t really think about kissing when I’ve got a rebellion to incite. I give my head a little shake to clear it. “Where’s Peeta?” I say. - Lol, goes on to immediately mention the guy she’s been kissing these past few weeks (see, with Peeta you could actually have both: kissing and rebellion, Katniss - he’s the perfect man, isn’t he? 😉😋)

“He went home when he heard you stirring. Didn’t want to leave his house unattended during the storm,” says my mother. - Yeah, I don’t think Peeta left because of his house; I’m pretty sure he needed some time to himself after seeing Katniss and Gale this morning - he is the type of person who needs to be alone to work through his feelings when he’s feeling upset - “Did he get back all right?” [...] “Why don’t you give him a call and check?” she says. I go into the study, a room I’ve pretty much avoided since my meeting with President Snow, and dial Peeta’s number. After a few rings he answers. “Hey. I just wanted to make sure you got home,” I say. “Katniss. I live three houses away from you,” he says. “I know, but with the weather and all,” I say. “Well, I’m fine. Thank you for checking.” There’s a long pause. “How’s Gale?” - Aww, Katniss is worried about Peeta and gives him a call, although she hates being in the study 😊 Also, her calling him must have been at least of some reassurance to Peeta that she genuinely cares about him, in some way (though, he’s still clearly busy processing her relationship with Gale, since he’s asking about him as if he hadn’t seen that dude just a couple of minutes prior)

“Have you seen Haymitch today?” “I checked in on him. Dead drunk. But I built up his fire and left him some bread,” he says. “I wanted to talk to - to both of you.” I don’t dare add more, here on my phone, which is surely tapped. -  Despite everything, Peeta still made sure to look after Haymitch! And I know, there is also the issue of their houses themselves potentially being bugged, but I couldn’t help imagining how they could easily avoid the whole phone-tapping thing simply by using a tin can telephone (they do live pretty close to each other, after all) 😂

“You don’t even have a phone,” I say. “Effie had that fixed,” he [Haymitch] says. “Do you know she asked me if I’d like to give you away? I told her the sooner the better.” “Haymitch.” I can hear the pleading creeping into my voice. “Katniss.” He mimics my tone. “It won’t work.” - Okay, but Haymitch mimicking Katniss’s tone reminds me so much of when Peeta mimicked her tone towards the end of their Games, when she was trying to persuade him to climb into a tree as a lookout while he was insistent she’d show him some plants to gather; these three, I swear! 😂 On a sad note, Haymitch is talking from experience here when he’s advising Katniss not to challenge the Capitol 🥺😢

Some streets away from the square, I see a blaze flare up. None of us has to say it. That can only be the Hob going up in smoke. I think of Greasy Sae, Ripper, all my friends who make their livings there. - Katniss considers the people from the Hob her friends - honestly, even if the Hawthornes, Everdeens, Peeta and Haymitch all had agreed to leave D12, I don’t think Katniss would have been able to go through with it - she cares too much about the people in D12 to have been able to leave them to their fate

“Well, I better go see how much rubbing alcohol the apothecary can spare.” He [Haymitch] trudges off across the square and I look at Peeta. “What’s he want that for?” Then I realize the answer. “We can’t let him drink it. He’ll kill himself, or at the very least go blind. I’ve got some white liquor put away at home.” “Me, too. Maybe that will hold him until Ripper finds a way to be back in business,” says Peeta. - Another instance of Katniss and Peeta being on the same wavelength, having taken precautions to help out Haymitch so he doesn’t have to go cold turkey again

We find Hazelle in her house, nursing a very sick Posy. I recognize the measles spots. “I couldn’t leave her,” she says. “I knew Gale’d be in the best possible hands.” - The second mention of someone having contracted the measles in D12 - Why the heck does the Capitol withhold measles vaccination from the people in the districts?! They’re inflicting unnecessary damage onto the very people they want to exploit... But I guess cruelty isn’t always about playing it smart and logical...

When we’re outside, I turn to Peeta. “You go on back. I want to walk by the Hob.” “I’ll go with you,” he says. “No. I’ve dragged you into enough trouble,” I tell him. “And avoiding a stroll by the Hob... that’s going to fix things for me?” He smiles and takes my hand. - They are a team, they stick together (and they are constantly holding hands, always physically linked to each other)😩💕 Also, Peeta pointing out the irrationality of Katniss’s train of thought to calm her down and stay with her reminds me of how he’s going to use logical reasoning to calm her down after the jabberjays in the Quarter Quell arena

We go back to the square. I buy some cakes from Peeta’s father while they exchange small talk about the weather. No one mentions the ugly tools of torture just yards from the front door. The last thing I notice as we leave the square is that I do not recognize even one of the Peacekeepers’ faces. - How weird is it that Peeta and his dad just talk about the weather?! Is this supposed to illustrate how in the Mellark family they just ignored the ugliness going on in their lives *cough cough* the abuse *cough cough* and just pretended that everything was fine, on a very superficial level? Also, it makes perfect sense that the Peacekeepers have been exchanged; the more time we spend with people, the more likely we are to like them - that won’t do if you want to have a ruthless authoritarian police force in the districts

As the days pass, things go from bad to worse. The mines stay shut for two weeks, and by that time half of District 12 is starving. The number of kids signing up for tesserae soars, but they often don’t receive their grain. Food shortages begin, and even those with money come away from stores empty-handed. [...] The eagerly awaited food promised for Parcel Day arrives spoiled and defiled by rodents. - This is just so awful and despicable 😞 Life in the districts was already horrible but now the government does not even honor the extortionary rules they themselves have set up! I can’t help but wonder if the lack of food could be traced back to rebellions in the food supplying districts and, to keep this from the inhabitants of the Capitol, the reduced amount of good food was (obviously) kept for the Capitolites, so that the bad food had to be sent to the districts, anyway... It just seems like such a breach of ‘honor’/etiquette on the Capitol’s part, I dunno... Or maybe Snow was just desperate to use any means necessary to stamp out any potential rebellions in the districts that he still had some control over...

Gale goes home with no more talk of rebellion between us. But I can’t help thinking that everything he sees will only strengthen his resolve to fight back. [...] Rory has signed up for tesserae, something Gale can’t even speak about - Poor, Gale! Poor Hawthornes :(

My fingers have all but decided to release the arrow when I see the object in the glove. It’s a small white circle of flat bread. More of a cracker, really. Gray and soggy around the edges. But an image is clearly stamped in the center of it. It’s my mockingjay. - It is so very telling that the true symbol of the rebellion combines something symbolic of Katniss (which also contains a nod to Rue) and something symbolic of Peeta (the bread/cracker!) The people in the districts have rightfully recognized the both of them as symbol of the rebellion; they have a truer vision of the matter than the more artifically/forcefully constructed symbol of rebellion that D13 /Coin will push - we will also see that when the people in D13 will view Peeta as a traitor, while the rebels Katniss will visit in D8 instead ask her about Peeta and assure her that they know he was speaking under duress

#thgagain #thg #katniss everdeen #hunger games #thg meta #peeta mellark #haymitch abernathy #gale hawthorne #my sketches and drawings #thg fanart #catching fire

[batfamtv]

I was wondering if you can do a request with Finnick Odair and my oc/me (Hannah). You don’t have to use my name, but it’s Hannah if you do. So here’s some backstory. So Hannah’s father is a district 1 victor of the hunger games, her mother is a stylist and her father lived in the capital now due to district 1’s privileges. Hannah was born and raised in the capital, but was taunt by her parents to be anti hunger games, due to her father being in the games and seeingnn the horrors along with being traumatized by seeing them when she was 8. So her and finnick met while her mother was his stylist in the games. They became friends and caught feelings when they were 16. She was one of the only person who knew the truth about his “many lovers” and she was there to help him through it. They started dating when they were 19 and when they were 21, they were able to sneak Hannah back on the train with them into district 4. The capital tried to get her back, but since this was great publicity and stuff, they just left it because it wasn’t as important. Finnick proposed to her in the capital before the 75th games. She was kidnapped and toutured by the capital with Joanna and Peeta before being rescued by Gale and the others she was also tortured with the tracker jacke serum which made her extremely paranoid. So maybe you can do something where Hannah and finnick get reunited in district 13 after she was rescued.

i would pull you from the tide

finnick odair x f!reader

in between the screams and the pain, you see finnick.

you remember the first time you meet him: young, handsome boy with a playful smile. he didn’t like you at first, thinking you were just another spoilt capitolite, but you and your family were kind, making sure he was being cared for while he stayed at the capitol (snow’s orders) for his ‘clients’.

“hi finnick dear,” your mother had introduced you then, “this is my daughter, y/n. she’s your age and wanted to meet you.” finnick had eyed you from top to bottom, but didn’t say anything other than a stiff nod. you had remained there beside your mother, almost feeling hurt for his coldness, if not for the sympathy you felt for him when he emerged out of the arena.

you also remember the first time he had actually let you in: when you came by his capitol apartment to bring him the stew your parents made for dinner, and finnick was there, crying on the floor. you knew what snow was making him do, and your family have been trying hard to make sure the victors are safe and protected here in the capitol, but you can only do so much. finnick had stared at you then, and you expected him to yell at you, to flinch when you came closer, to shove you away when your arms wrapped around him. instead, he held onto you, and cried in your arms. “i hate it here,” he had mumbled against you, “i hate it, i hate it, i hate it!” and there was nothing for you to say but “i’m sorry” and “i’m here finnick, i won’t leave you alone.”

you saw him every year, yet with another set of tributes from his district. but finnick wasn’t cold to you anymore, instead sought you whenever he had free time, because you loved to hear stories about the ocean, and how one time he saw a huge whale breach the surface of the water, and you felt his youth glowing from him, and you had decided then and there that finnick odair deserves to be happy.

“you should come to district four sometimes, y/n,” he had told you enthusiastically, even though you both knew it was forbidden to travel between districts. the wishful thinking was enough though, as you watch him remember the ocean, and you could see the ocean itself in his eyes, “i know you’ll love it!”

nodding, you ran your hands through his hair, almost smelling the saltiness of the sea in him, “yeah,” you had smiled at him, “maybe i will.”

more of those years go by in your mind, but when you open your eyes, you are still somewhat trapped in time. shivering from the cold, sore from all the beatings, you can hear peeta’s cry from a couple of cells down. you also hear johanna’s voice, she’s calling out to you, wondering if you are still alive.

“y/n?” she asks. “are you there?”

“yes,” you croak, the sound gravelly and painful. you struggle to move closer to johanna’s cell and you can almost see her grinning face.

“good,” you hear her say, “finnick would kick my ass so hard if you died.”

absolutely exhausted and pained, you close your eyes, and more memories come.

you don’t remember exactly when your feelings for him changed, but when it did, it hit hard. you remember staring at finnick, and blushing whenever he caught you.

“were you looking at me, y/n?” one eyebrow raised, he tossed another sugar cube up in the air before catching it in his mouth.

blushing red, you shook your head vehemently, “no! why would i do that?”

he shrugged, “well, i am pretty attractive.”

he tossed another sugar cube, but failed to catch it. hearing your laugh, he turned to face you with a dramatic frown. you only shook your head, “sure you are,” before turning away (absolutely hoping he didn’t see your face burn bright red after you jokingly admitted to him that you did, after all, find him attractive).

he would always smile that teasing and boyish smile before sauntering toward you and making you even more flustered. you remember one night when it was really bad for him, limping towards his apartment because he was hurt by one of his clients, and you had fussed over him, worry etched on your face. you remember him crying against you as you held him, and him whispering to you that you kept him sane. you had fallen asleep like that, arms around finnick odair, silently hoping you could do more to protect him from this life. 

finnick odair had loved you then, maybe way before then, but he didn’t tell you yet.

and perhaps, one of the reasons why he was so reluctant to tell you, and everyone else about what he felt, was because he knew the president would set his eyes on you. and finnick didn’t like that.

you remember the smile on finnick’s face, so so bright and beautiful, when he saw you get out of the train in district four. your parents snuck you out of the capitol to surprise him, and he was both worried and exhilarated. you also remember how nice it was in his district, especially that one night when you both walked by the shore at night under the full moon, when he had kissed your lips so softly as though he was scared to break you. you remember the warmth in your chest that exploded throughout your body when you threw your arms around him and kissed him back.

when you open your eyes again, it’s another day. you’re sure that you’re awake for most of the time, when they beat you up and submerge you under the water, but you don’t remember any of it. something in your mind tells you that you may have pushed those memories away, locked them deep down and all you can remember is finnick, finnick, finnick.

one of the worst days of your life was when he was reaped for the quarter quell. your family had been contacted by plutarch heavensbee immediately after, and you remember how plutarch silently apologized to you that finnick got reaped, and you made him promise to get finnick alive.

“katniss everdeen is our priority.”

“then make him second,” you pleaded, tears threatening to leave your eyes, “please.”

plutarch had nodded grimly, and you promised to yourself that you would do anything it takes to keep finnick alive.

the night before the games, he brought you to the rooftop. you were scared, for him, for the rebellion, for everything. you were scared that everything was going to change.

“not all change is bad,” finnick reassured you as he took both of your hands in his. “for example,” he smiled cheekily, biting his lower lip, “when this is over, we can get married.”

“what?” your eyes widened at his statement. he pulled out a ring, something so simple and yet beautiful (and resembled the one you were sure you saw at a shop while in district four).

“when there are no more games,” he smiled as he slid the ring to your ring finger, “when can get married. build a cottage by the sea.”

you admired the ring on your finger, overwhelmed by the proclamation and enticed by the thought of waking up next to finnick odair in your own little seaside cottage. then you threw your arms around him, pressing your lips on his with a smile.

“this is why you need to win,” you whispered against his lips.

finnick nodded, “this is why i need to win.”

the next time you’re conscious, you can hear peeta’s screams again. you’re too tired to move, limbs too sore to use and so you just lay there. as peeta’s screams for katniss faded into the background, you hear finnick’s voice.

finnick screaming your name.

you remember watching him run aimlessly through the forest, the sound of your voice calling him. “y/n! y/n!”

katniss tried to tell him that the voices are from jabberjays, they weren’t real. but finnick was inconsolable, insisting that jabberjays copy sounds from the source.

“please, let me go!” he had yelled at katniss. “they got her, they got y/n!”

he was panicked, crying for you, and you couldn’t do anything but watch as it went on for an hour. you wanted to console him right then and there, to hold him and reassure him that you’re fine, but you weren’t able to.

you didn’t want to open your eyes, but you hear his voice again. finnick’s not screaming your name, but he is whispering it. something warm covers your hand, and you almost flinch if not for the familiarity of it. when you do open your eyes, you are met by a bright light, almost harsh, but most of all--

“finnick,” you whisper, and your voice is hoarse.

finnick exhales when he looks into your eyes and sees that you’re really here, you’re alive. he cups your hand in his, pressing kisses on it as he tries to keep his tears from falling. “y/n, how are you feeling?”

you don’t know what to tell him. confused as to where you are. tired and sore. relieved to see that he’s here in front of you. in love.

despite all of this, you can only think of one thing. the one thing you’ve always felt whenever you look into finnick odair’s eyes.

“happy.”

finnick smiles boyishly, as he look down, clearly flustered. it takes someone special to make him flustered like that, and it’s always been you.

he reaches over to plant a gentle kiss on your temple, nose, cheek, and then lips. “me too.”

#batfamtv #hunger games #hunger games imagine #thg imagine #finnick odair #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair imagine

[katnissmellarkkk]

This started out as a request for a bookcomb of Finnick acting like Peeta and Katniss’ big brother and instead became a two part post of Finnick and Katniss being chaotic best friends 😂😂🤣🤣🤣. This is just their Catching Fire moments. I’ll post the Mockingjay version soon.

-

Finnick has reached Peeta now and is towing him back, one arm across his chest while the other propels them through the water with easy strokes. Peeta rides along without resisting. I don’t know what Finnick said or did that convinced him to put his life in his hands — showed him the bangle, maybe. Or just the sight of me waiting might have been enough. When they reach the sand, I help haul Peeta up onto dry land.

-

He’s got Peeta’s nose blocked off but his mouth tilted open, and he’s blowing air into his lungs. I can see this, I can actually see Peeta’s chest rising and falling. Then Finnick unzips the top of Peeta’s jumpsuit and begins to pump the spot over his heart with the heels of his hands. Now that I’ve gotten through my shock, I understand what he’s trying to do.

[…] Whatever he’s doing, he’s done it before. There’s a very set rhythm and method. And I find the arrow tip sinking to the ground as I lean in to watch, desperately, for some sign of success. Agonizing minutes drag past as my hopes diminish. Around the time that I’m deciding it’s too late, that Peeta’s dead, moved on, unreachable forever, he gives a small cough and Finnick sits back.

-

Finnick, who bounded off initially, stops when he realizes we’re having problems. But this is not a thing you can fight, only evade. He shouts encouragement, trying to move us along, and the sound of his voice acts as a guide, though little more.

-

I feel him lurch forward and realize Finnick has come back for us and is hauling Peeta along. I wedge my shoulder, which still seems under my control, under Peeta’s arm and do my best to keep up with Finnick’s rapid pace. We put about ten yards between us and the fog when Finnick stops.

“It’s no good. I’ll have to carry him. Can you take Mags?” he asks me.

-

I have moved out a bit farther into the shallows, floating alternately on my belly and back. If the seawater healed Peeta and me, it seems to be transforming Finnick altogether. He begins to move slowly, just testing his limbs, and gradually begins to swim. But it’s not like me swimming, the rhythmic strokes, the even pace. It’s like watching some strange sea animal coming back to life. He dives and surfaces, spraying water out of his mouth, rolls over and over in some bizarre corkscrew motion that makes me dizzy even to watch. And then, when he’s been underwater so long I feel certain he’s drowned, his head pops up right next to me and I start.

“Don’t do that,” I say.

“What? Come up or stay under?” he says.

“Either. Neither. Whatever. Just soak in the water and behave,” I say.

-

I glance over at Peeta, at Finnick, and see they’re both scratching at their damaged faces. Yes, even Finnick’s beauty has been marred by this night.

“Don’t scratch,” I say, wanting badly to scratch myself. But I know it’s the advice my mother would give. “You’ll only bring infection.”

-

My stomach begins to growl at the smell of food and I reach for one. The sight of my fingernails, caked with blood, stops me. I’ve been scratching my skin raw in my sleep.

“You know, if you scratch you’ll bring on infection,” says Finnick.

-

I plunk down on the sand next to Finnick and screw the lid off the tube. […] A sound of pleasure slips out of my mouth as the stuff eradicates my itching. It also stains my scabby skin a ghastly gray-green. As I start on the second leg I toss the tube to Finnick, who eyes me doubtfully.

“It’s like you’re decomposing,” says Finnick. But I guess the itching wins out, because after a minute Finnick begins to treat his own skin, too. Really, the combination of the scabs and the ointment looks hideous. I can’t help enjoying his distress.

“Poor Finnick. Is this the first time in your life you haven’t looked pretty?” I say.

“It must be. The sensation’s completely new. How have you managed it all these years?” he asks.

“Just avoid mirrors. You’ll forget about it,” I say.

“Not if I keep looking at you,” he says.

-

We slather ourselves down, even taking turns rubbing the ointment into each other’s backs where the undershirts don’t protect our skin. “I’m going to wake Peeta,” I say.

“No, wait,” says Finnick. “Let’s do it together. Put our faces right in front of his.”

Well, there’s so little opportunity for fun left in my life, I agree. We position ourselves on either side of Peeta, lean over until our faces are inches from his nose, and give him a shake. “Peeta. Peeta, wake up,” I say in a soft, singsong voice.

His eyelids flutter open and then he jumps like we’ve stabbed him. “Aa!”

Finnick and I fall back in the sand, laughing our heads off. Every time we try to stop, we look at Peeta’s attempt to maintain a disdainful expression and it sets us off again. By the time we pull ourselves together, I’m thinking that maybe Finnick Odair is all right. At least not as vain or self-important as I’d thought.

-

Finnick catches my arm before I can run. “No. It’s not him.” He starts pulling me downhill, toward the beach. “We’re getting out of here!” But Gale’s voice is so full of pain I can’t help struggling to reach it. “It’s not him, Katniss! It’s a mutt!” Finnick shouts at me. “Come on!” He moves me along, half dragging, half carrying me, until I can process what he said.

-

It’s the first crack of the lightning storm — the bolt hitting the tree at midnight — that brings us to our senses. It rouses Finnick as well. He sits up with a sharp cry. I see his fingers digging into the sand as he reassures himself that whatever nightmare he inhabited wasn’t real.

“I can’t sleep anymore,” he says. “One of you should rest.” Only then does he seem to notice our expressions, the way we’re wrapped around each other. “Or both of you. I can watch alone.”

-

I turn and wave to Finnick. “Hey, Finnick, come on in! We figured out how to make you pretty again!”

The three of us scour all the scabs from our bodies, helping with the others’ backs, and come out the same pink as the sky. We apply another round of medicine because the skin seems too delicate for the sunlight, but it doesn’t look half as bad on smooth skin and will be good camouflage in the jungle.

-

Peeta’s just pried open an oyster when I hear him give a laugh. “Hey, look at this!” He holds up a glistening, perfect pearl about the size of a pea. “You know, if you put enough pressure on coal it turns to pearls,” he says earnestly to Finnick.

“No, it doesn’t,” says Finnick dismissively.

-

I duck behind a curtain of vines, concealing myself just in time. Finnick flies by me, his skin shadowy with medicine, leaping through the undergrowth like a deer. He soon reaches the site of my attack, must see the blood. “Johanna! Katniss!” he calls.

-

Technically, I am unarmed. But no one should ever underestimate the harm that fingernails can do, especially if the target is unprepared. I lunge across the table and rake mine down Haymitch’s face, causing blood to flow and damage to one eye. Then we are both screaming terrible, terrible things at each other, and Finnick is trying to drag me out, and I know it’s all Haymitch can do not to rip me apart.

-

“Katniss. Katniss, I’m sorry.” Finnick’s voice comes from the bed next to me and slips into my consciousness. Perhaps because we’re in the same kind of pain. “I wanted to go back for him and Johanna, but I couldn’t move.”

-

#thg #hunger games #katniss everdeen #the hunger games #catching fire #finnick odair #bookcomb ♥️🔎 #sorry long post y’all

[everlarkficexchange]

On the Other Side of the Fence

Prompt 13: Katniss is “just one of the guys” and the only girl in school who’s never been asked for a date by any of these guys. One day she’s “discovered” by a modeling agency and whisked to the Capital. She returns 3-months later with a new look, new found confidence, and cash. How will Peeta deal with the new Katniss and all the attention she gets from everyone?  [submitted by @567inpanem​] 

Author:  @jhsgf82​ 

Rated:  T 

Word Count:  5,713 

Author Note: In-Panem AU, no games.  The class distinctions between Seam and Merchant are still there but aren’t quite as prominent, so Seam and Merchant sometimes hang out together; although, some folks do still have prejudices.  Also, Mr. Everdeen is alive!  So, this became more about the childhood love story between Katniss and Peeta than the modeling, at least this part, but I hope you still enjoy my take on this prompt.  This will be a Part 1 of 2, and it will be posted on A03 under my account as well as on the EFE A03 collection page.    Edit by @mrspeetamellark​.  Thank you, thank you!  I love the fan casts for older K and P!  

P.S. I’ve been listening to Ruelle’s “I Get to Love You” quite a bit while writing this, and it’s giving me major Everlark feels, particularly for this story, so let’s call it the theme song for this fic. 

Part I 

Peeta’s POV “Wait up, Katniss!”  Peeta chased after Katniss as fast as his skinny twelve-year-old legs could carry him.  

But Katniss Everdeen was like a bird, free-spirited and not to be caged, and when she set her mind to something, more than likely, she was going to do it. 

Peeta loved that about her. 

Today, Katniss had gotten it into her pretty head to climb to the top of the apple tree in his backyard.  When she’d found out his mother wouldn’t be home, she’d thought it’d be the best time.

They played in secret, for Peeta’s mother had clearly expressed her dislike and distrust of Seam kids, plenty of times.  Merchant Circle kids and Seam kids didn’t usually interact, but Peeta had no problem with those from the Seam, and he especially loved being around Katniss.  He didn’t see the big deal, honestly.  So what if they lived on the outskirts of town? So what if they didn’t have as much money‒Peeta was used to eating stale bread and leftovers, anyway.  Not to mention, Katniss and her father’s squirrels had made many a dinner for his family.  He wondered if his mother knew where they came from, for it was always his father or him who did the trading.  

Peeta didn’t get to see Katniss as often as he would like‒he was almost always stuck at the bakery, and rarely unsupervised‒but times with her were his favorite times.  Sometimes they were alone, which he preferred, but other times, they hung out with her small group, consisting of Thom, Gale, and occasionally, her sister, Primrose.  

As if his life (or hers) depended on it, Peeta raced to catch up to Katniss.  She was already three or four branches up when he made it to the tree.  Unfortunately, he was running so fast that he didn’t stop quick enough, and…Thwap!  He smacked his head against a low branch.  

“Peeta!” gasped Katniss from her perch.  “You okay?!”  

“Fine!” he called up.  He rubbed his forehead, feeling like a complete idiot.  It smarted a bit, but his pride was far more wounded.

As if preparing her, Peeta shouted, “I’m coming up!”  And then he reached out for the lowest, sturdiest-looking branch he could find.  He wasn’t quite sure how this would work.  He’d never climbed a tree before, and it looked tough.  Katniss was small and nimble, but he was bulkier.  He wasn’t completely uncoordinated, but he was much better at lifting things than doing anything requiring agility or balance.  Even so, he had to try.  And so, he found his footing and pushed himself up.       

Turned out, his upper body strength (from lifting sacks of flour) came in handy in getting him up the tree.  But there were two problems:  One, his footing.  And two, the relatively young apple tree wasn’t quite liking his size, and some of the thinner branches were bending under his weight.  

“You’re almost there, Peeta,” urged Katniss, and all he could see was her encouraging smile.  He reached out to take her hand for a boost but felt his shoe slipping against the bark.  And then, his body weight and that thing called gravity were pulling him downward…  

“Peeta!” shrieked Katniss as she reached out desperately for his hand.

But in those few seconds, Peeta knew he couldn’t grab hold.  Katniss may be strong for her size, but she was tiny, definitely not strong enough to hold him up.  If he did grasp her hand, he would surely drag her down with him, and he would never put her in danger.  

Peeta dropped to the ground, left foot first, a sharp, white-hot pain shooting up his leg on impact.  He groaned and fell flat on his back, his head smacking hard against the ground.  

Katniss was down the tree in a heartbeat, kneeling beside him.  A bright light silhouetted her; she looked like an angel.  Was he dead?  Or dying maybe?  If so, hers was the last face he wanted to see…   

“Peeta!  Peeta!  Peeta, are you okay?” cried Katniss.  She was touching his shoulder and chest only as if she was afraid to go near his leg. 

He murmured something and reached out to try and touch her, but his head was spinning and his vision was blurring.  

Amidst the excruciating pain and confusion, he heard her muttering, “Oh no, oh no, what do I do?!”  And then, she started to cry.  

No, no, no.  This was no good, at all.  He couldn’t deal with Katniss crying.  He probably had a broken leg; he didn’t need a broken heart, also.     

“Don’t…”  He attempted to reach for her again, and this time, he felt her take his hand in both of hers and rest it against her face, her tears wetting it.  There was a persistent ringing in his ears, and then he passed out.  

While he was unconscious, Peeta dreamed of Katniss‒of the first time they met.  They were five years old.    

Katniss’s father brought her by the bakery to trade, and while their dads were talking, he played with her.  At first, she was shy, only peering out at him from behind her father’s legs, but he managed to convince her to come out. 

She wore a red plaid dress, and her hair was in two braids.  He’d seen her earlier that day in school‒his father had pointed her out to him and told him how he’d wanted to marry her mother but she’d run off with a coal miner (this coal miner, with the singing voice that made bird’s stop to listen)‒and he’d heard her sing.  Her voice was every bit as lovely as they said her father’s was. 

Once he got her to come out, they talked a little and ended up chasing one another around the bakery.  Of course, his mother wasn’t home that day.  

In retrospect, Peeta had been a goner for Katniss from the start, completely mesmerized by her singing voice and her beautiful gray eyes, which he got a closer look at in the bakery.  Then there was her smile, which she didn’t give freely, but when she did, it was so worth the wait.  She didn’t talk much, but he’d been able to get her to laugh that day in the bakery, and the noise, much like her singing, was music to his ears.  Oh, and her braids‒he’d always been really fascinated by her braids.   

Before she left the bakery, Peeta couldn’t help leaning forward and smacking his lips against Katniss’s, just to see what it would be like.  He’d seen people kiss before, even his parents, though not often.  It was weird when his mom and dad did it, but he liked it better than when they yelled at each other.  

To his surprise, kissing Katniss wasn’t bad or weird.  He liked it.  And he wanted to try it again, someday.    

After the kiss, Katniss’s cheeks were reddened, and she turned away from him, dashing back behind her father.  He was so afraid he’d done the wrong thing and that she’d hate him forever, but when they went to leave, she smiled and waved at him.  

Peeta came to with a start, jerking around and whimpering as he clutched at his throbbing leg.  He realized he was in his bed, though he didn’t know how he’d gotten there.  Also, he wasn’t alone‒Mrs. Everdeen was at his side.  

“Peeta, honey, lie still.  I have to set your leg,” Katniss’s mother spoke in her soft, doctor-like voice.  She was a healer.  He assumed Katniss must have gotten a couple of boys or a man, maybe her dad or his, to carry him to his room after his fall. 

But where was Katniss?  And was his dad here?  

Before he could look around for them, Mrs. Everdeen told him she was going to give him some medicine to take away his pain.  She injected him with something, morphling, he heard her say, and instantly, he felt his entire body relaxing.  He looked over, then, to see Katniss entering his room and approaching his bedside, followed by her father.  Her arms were folded, and her forehead was all scrunched up like how it got when she was really worried.  Her eyes were puffy, too, and her cheeks were stained with tears; she’d definitely been crying.    

Peeta raised his head and tried to smile and say something reassuring. “Kat…it’s…o-”  But his words trailed off as a strange, dizzy feeling overtook him, and his head dropped back onto his pillow.  Katniss came over and took a seat next to him, slipping her small hand into his.   

This is nice, he thought. 

But the euphoric feeling was quickly broken by his mother’s loud voice as she barged into his room. Uh oh.  

His mother discovering the Everdeens in their home was bad news.  She basically hated all the rest of them as much or more than Katniss, especially Katniss’s mother.  Maybe it was because his dad used to love her?  

“What’s this?!  What have you done, you stupid creature?!” his mother screeched at Katniss.    

Peeta’s eyes shot to his best friend who immediately dropped his hand.  He saw the look on her face; her cheeks had gone reddish, and her eyes were filling with tears, which she was clearly fighting back.  She looked scared, upset, and angry.  

Just another reason for him to hate his mother.   

“Katni…” Peeta tried to say her name, to comfort her, but his words caught in his scratchy throat. 

He tried again, but he was cut off. 

“Listen here,” Mr. Everdeen’s voice boomed, loud and clear, “you will not speak of my daughter that way!  I won’t allow it.  My wife has been kind enough to help your son, so show some respect to my family.” 

That should shut his mother up, Peeta imagined.  Mr. Everdeen might be a friendly, quiet man most of the time, but he could be intimidating.  So, Peeta didn’t expect his mother would say another word.    

Mr. Everdeen placed a hand on his wife’s shoulder.  “Honey, fix up Peeta, then we’ll be on our way,” he said softly.   

Peeta’s mother was silent after that; in fact, he thought she might have left the room.  But he was in and out of consciousness, and next thing he knew, it was dark, and he was waking up in his bed with only his father beside him.   

Groggily, Peeta asked, “Where’s Katniss?” 

“She’s at her house, son,” his father replied, tucking his covers nearly up to his chin. “You should get some rest.”  And with that, he was left alone in the darkness. 

Peeta recalled his brothers stopping in briefly, and then his mother.  He imagined she only cared about him being injured because it might hinder his work at the bakery.  He was sure she’d still give him plenty to do, though.  What did she care if he was in pain doing it? 

His mother was mainly condescending, railing on him for being so stupid, which he expected and accepted, but what really made his blood boil was when she set in on Katniss.  

“That’s why you don’t play with Seam children,” she chided, casting him a dark look.  “They’re wild heathens with no regard for rules or safety.” 

They’re kids, Mother‒just like me.  They just want to play and have fun.  They don’t want anyone to get hurt. 

What his mother said next lanced his heart.  “I forbid you to see that girl anymore.” 

Peeta squeezed his fists beneath the covers.  She really cared nothing for him, did she?  Of course, if his mother didn’t care that he had a broken leg, why would she care if forbidding him from seeing Katniss ripped his heart out?  

But it didn’t matter.  There was no way he was going to stop seeing Katniss; nothing his mother, or anyone, could say or do would ever stop him.  

Katniss snuck into his room later that night.  She must have climbed the tree next to his window and crawled through.  She was next to his bed rousing him before he even realized what was happening.  

At her touch, Peeta woke.  “Katniss, what are you doing here?” he hissed, trying to sit up.   

She held out her hand as if to stop him.  “I brought these for you, from my mother,” said she, handing him a small package.  “Medicine for the pain and a salve for the inflammation.  Instructions are inside.” 

“Thanks.” 

It sounded like the delivery came from her mother, and he didn’t think Katniss would have taken the items on her own without permission‒mainly because she probably wouldn’t have known what to take or what to do‒but he doubted she had permission to be here this late.  He glanced at the clock.  It was nearly 11 PM.

“Are you okay?” she asked, fidgeting with her fingers.  

“Yes.” 

“Does it hurt?” 

“A little.”  

“I’m so sorry.”  He could see her eyes glistening in the moonlight.  Was she going to cry again?  

“It’s not your fault, and hey, it probably earned me some time off at the bakery.  So, thanks.” 

Most likely, he wouldn’t get any time off, though.  Or, if he did, it wouldn’t be much.  His mother would probably have him back to work as soon as he could move, but Katniss didn’t need to know that.  He tapped her playfully on the nose, and she laughed a little. 

“Katniss, thanks for bringing the medicine, but you better go. I don’t want you to get in trouble.” Peeta sighed.  He didn’t actually want to send her away; he wanted her to stay with him, forever. 

Rather than listening to him, though, she did the exact opposite‒she pulled back the covers and climbed into bed with him.

Wow.  Were wishes being fulfilled tonight?  

Okay, so, Peeta had just discovered the absolute best medicine for any of his ailments‒having Katniss Everdeen in his arms.  

“Am I hurting your leg?” she asked as she tentatively snuggled in closer.  

“Not a bit.”  He smiled.  “That’s my good leg.”  

“You sure?  I could move.” 

“Don’t you dare move,” he said, wrapping his arms completely around her and holding her in place.  He kissed the top of her head.  For a moment, he wondered if he shouldn’t have done that.  They had only shared that one kiss when they were 5, and it had never been brought up since.  She probably didn’t think anything about kissing him, anyway.  

“Okay, good,” she said, shutting her eyes and resting her head and a hand on his chest.

He looked down at her.  She looked so peaceful and seemed close to falling asleep, but he shouldn’t let that happen.  If his mother found Katniss here in the morning, in his bed, they were both toast!    

But it was too nice having her here, and he wanted to enjoy it for a little while longer.  He took the chance to play with her braid, like he’d always wanted to, and she let him.  It had just become his new favorite thing to do.  Katniss always wore her hair this way, except for a couple of times when she had it down, and Peeta loved her braid.  But he was also kind of curious to run his fingers through her hair while it was down.  He imagined it would be so soft and silky. 

“Peeta,” he heard her murmur just when he thought she was asleep.  

“Yeah?” 

“Your mother…she hates me.” 

“No.” 

“Don’t lie, Peeta.” 

“Okay, maybe she does.  But, remember, she’s not too fond of me, either.” 

Peeta felt Katniss shake her head against him, and he gave a small chuckle.  It was so sad, it was funny, in a way. 

He looked down into her face; she wore a sad expression.  “Heyy,” he soothed, stroking her back lightly.  “Hey, Katniss, listen.  I don’t care.  Don’t give another thought to what my mother said, because it’s not true.  Nothing she says means anything to me or matters, at all.  You’re wonderful and amazing, and it wasn’t your fault I got hurt, and nothing anyone says or does will ever change the way I fee-think about you.” 

How did he feel about her?  He didn’t quite know the exact word for it, but whatever it was, it was pretty strong.  Like right now, he could feel his heart beating wildly like it was trying to escape his chest.  She always made him feel this way, as if his heart might run away or explode into tiny pieces.  

Katniss softly sighed.  “Okay, Peeta.  If you don’t care, I don’t care, either.” 

“Good.”  He stroked her hair once, twice, three times.  

They remained curled up together until just before dawn, and then Katniss slipped away.  Right away, he felt the loss.  Despite the discomfort in his leg and the fact that he barely slept, for he was either watching Katniss or the clock (in fear they might sleep too long and be discovered), Peeta had never known such a peaceful, wonderful night.  

It took nearly two months for the leg to heal, and it did earn him some time off bakery duty, but as expected, his mother had him back to work soon, doing what he could while hobbling around on crutches.  

On the bright side, Katniss visited him almost every night, sneaking into his room and into his bed, saying she was checking to make sure he was okay.  Peeta got used to having her there, and he enjoyed it, yet he was surprised they were never caught.  

Once he was healed, much to Peeta’s disappointment, Katniss stopped coming by; although, it might have had something to do with him suggesting she should stop.  He hadn’t wanted her to stop, and he hoped it hadn’t hurt her feelings; he was simply worried they’d be caught and his mother would say more terrible things to her.  He didn’t care if she said terrible things to him, but he never wanted Katniss to be called a name again or be made to feel bad, by anyone.  

After that, Peeta had to be sneakier about seeing Katniss, and he did see her less.  Seemed like, after he healed, his mother gave him extra work at the bakery, in theory, to make up for the time he’d missed.  But no matter how much work she gave him or how often she warned him against having anything to do with the ‘little dirtbags’ (one of the kinder nicknames she attributed to the Seam children), nothing‒not even President Snow, himself‒could keep him from Katniss.

He did worry, though, about his mother trying to cause harm to Katniss and her family.  She was surely spreading the incident around, making it sound like it was Katniss’s fault‒as if she’d bullied him up that tree then pushed him out or something.  She was probably trying to gain sympathy from the townsfolk and hurt the Everdeens’ business, but Peeta assumed everyone would continue to buy Katniss and her father’s game.  It was too good.  And if not, they would be fine because her dad had his job in the mines. 

Even so, Peeta sometimes hated the way things were.  Sometimes, he even considered running away from home, off to the Seam or even beyond the fence and into the woods, with Katniss.  On the other side of the fence, they could be together everyday and live happily without anyone’s interference.  

It was a nice dream.     

—–

The next summer, Katniss announced to Peeta that she was going to teach him to swim, and she showed him her father’s lake for the very first time.  

“You ready?” she asked excitedly.  She was dressed in a t-shirt and shorts, he in just shorts.    

He stared deep into her eyes, then nodded.  “Yes.” 

They waded out further into the lake until it was up past his shoulders and came to her chin.  She went behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, and forget drowning, Peeta thought he would die right then and there, over this. 

See, he’d been having…different sorts of feelings about Katniss lately, in the last couple of months…  He cared so much for her, as always, but he’d also been thinking more and more about things like:  kissing her, touching her, and feeling her pressed against him.  He wished she’d sneak into his bed again, but he was also kind of afraid he wouldn’t keep his hands to himself if she did.  He knew he would never hurt or mistreat Katniss, but sometimes, it was tough to think straight around her, and sometimes his body seemed to have a mind of its own.  

It was frustrating.

Right now, Katniss was hugging him, and it felt nice.  No, not hugging–supporting him in the water.  But it felt like a hug, and he didn’t get them often, his father being so busy, and his mother, well, not being the hugging type.  

Katniss’s hands briefly ran up his stomach, to his chest, and back down.  It made Peeta shiver, and his breath hitched.  And he had to wonder, did she get the kind of feelings he did, too? 

“You okay?” she asked.  He could feel her bangs brushing his bare back, tickling his skin a little, but in a way he really liked.  

He tried to answer coolly, but it came out as a choked “Y-yes.” 

“Okay.”  Katniss shifted a little, instructing him to dunk his head and practice holding his breath.  “I’ll hold onto you.” 

“You won’t let go?” he asked.  More so, he wanted the reassurance of having her there, because she emboldened him and made him feel safe, even if she was much smaller than him.  

“Never, Peeta,” she assured.  He smiled and rested his hands atop hers.  

“Okay, I’m ready.”  And with that, he dipped his head under the water. 

Katniss was a good teacher, even if he was kind of a bumbling idiot when it came to the water.  He’d never survive in D4.  Not like he’d ever have any reason to go there.  But they had fun, swimming around and splashing one another.  Peeta even picked her up and tossed her in a couple of times, and she came right back at him, latching onto his shoulders and dunking him or wrapping her legs around his waist and climbing his back.  

Peeta got better at staying underwater, and he took to swimming around her and tickling her beneath the waves‒in innocent places, of course, like her feet or her sides.  One time, though, the water caused her shirt to billow up and he accidentally slid his hand across the bare skin of her stomach.  It was so flat and smooth; it felt nice.  For a split second, his hand took over before his mind could have any say in the manner, and he squeezed her side a little.  Katniss sucked in a sharp breath and reared back.  And instantly, she was throwing out her arms and kicking her legs to put some distance between them.     

“Katniss, I’m sorry!  Di-did I hurt you?” 

She shook her head rapidly, but she could barely look at him.

Again, Peeta apologized while slowly moving toward her.  

“It’s okay.”  She swallowed.  “I’m just…ticklish there.” 

“Oh.  Okay.”  

Things were a little weird after that, and Katniss kind of kept her distance from him, despite Peeta apologizing quite a few more times.  She finally told him to just forget about it.  

But Peeta didn’t want to forget.  He wished he could touch her anytime he felt like it, and that she would want that, too. 

After their swimming lesson at the lake, Peeta started having dreams about Katniss, embarrassing ones.  More embarrassing, still, was the way his body reacted to the dreams, even in his sleep.  It was a bit upsetting, and she would be mortified if she knew.  But he couldn’t seem to help himself.  And it occurred almost every night.  Peeta considered talking to his father about it, but that would be weird, and talking to his older brothers would be even weirder.  But they were actually helpful in a way.  Hearing them talk, he came to understand that it was normal to feel what he was feeling.

Those feelings continued‒oh, did they continue!‒and Peeta started to notice other girls, too, but none of them left any kind of lasting impression on him as Katniss did.  

Was it normal for a boy to be so obsessed with a single girl his entire life?  

—–

Eventually, Peeta decided he needed a distraction from Katniss, and so, he joined the wrestling team at 15.  His older brother wrestled, and he’d always thought that was pretty neat.  

Turned out, he was really good at it, even came in second in the school, only to his brother.    

The wrestling built up Peeta’s body and his popularity.  Although he’d always been stronger than most boys his age, due to working in the bakery, he developed, growing broader and stronger but remaining lean in the waist.  He made more friends, and girls were starting to pay attention to him.  Save for one‒the girl he’d noticed all along.  Unfortunately, Katniss still treated him like her pal, and even worse, she was spending less time with him and more time with Gale Hawthorne…

Peeta didn’t like it.  

But he supposed he couldn’t blame her; between wrestling and the bakery, he’d had next to no time for her.

Or, maybe Katniss was finally figuring out that he didn’t belong in her world.  Not because she was a Seam girl and he was from town, but because, he didn’t seem to fit in with her and her friends.  For instance, he wasn’t good at the same kinds of things as they were.  It didn’t matter to Peeta, but maybe it mattered to her. 

Regardless, if she would allow it, he would remain by her side, for always.  Whether they were doing something he was good at or not, whether they were going someplace dangerous or unpleasant, no matter what, wherever she went, he wanted to go, too.  

But over the next year, things began to shift between them.  Peeta’s popularity in school only seemed to push Katniss away, and whenever he tried to remedy the situation, she either ignored him or flat-out made up an excuse.  It was a crushing blow each time she did.  

One day, a girl asked Peeta to go to the slag heap with her.  He knew what that meant, of course, and he actually considered it, if only to give himself the chance to feel something for someone other than Katniss.  But in the end, he just couldn’t go through with it, and he told her no.  She was pretty, but if her name wasn’t Katniss Everdeen, then Peeta Mellark simply wasn’t interested. 

That was the day it hit him‒he loved Katniss Everdeen.  No, not just loved her; he was in love with her.   

Maybe he should tell her how he felt.  

But how could he?  She would never reciprocate‒she didn’t think of him that way‒and he didn’t think he could take the rejection.  Best to leave things the way they were because having Katniss as his friend was much better than not having her at all…

—–

Katniss’s POV (Age 16) 

Several days later… 

“So, where’ve you been lately, Peeta?” asked Gale.  “Been wondering where the other half of Peetnip’s been.” 

“Actually, we prefer Everlark,” said Peeta with a grin.  

Katniss hugged her legs to her chest, blushing over the combining of hers and Peeta’s names, even though she knew it didn’t mean anything.  Gale was just fooling around, and Peeta was playing along.  

“Yeah, so what gives?” barked Gale.  “You too good to hang out with us all of a sudden?”  

“No, not at all, I-”  Peeta glanced over at her.  “I’ve just been really busy with wrestling.” 

And his new friends…

And that girl…

Katniss was sure she wasn’t coming close to hiding the disdain on her face.  Of course, she’d heard about that pretty girl asking Peeta to the slag heap.  And it had hurt way more than it should have; she’d actually felt like a part of her died inside that day.      

Katniss wasn’t sure why, but lately, she’d been thinking about Peeta a lot.  About old times.  When he fell out of the tree; when they slept in the same bed; that summer at the lake…

How had things changed so much between them, and somehow, not at all?  Part of Katniss wanted so badly for things to always stay the same, but another part of her kind of wished that things could be…different between Peeta and her.      

She shook off her thoughts and turned her attention back on Gale.  

He was looking as skeptical as her over Peeta’s excuse.  Not for the same reason, probably.  It was because Peeta was a merchant’s son.  And that meant Gale was always paranoid that Peeta was only pretending to be their friend for some ulterior motive not yet revealed, or that he’d ditch them all at the first opportunity.  Honestly, Katniss was surprised Gale had even accepted Peeta into their circle in the first place.  But, as with her (and everyone), it had taken him some time.   

“Seriously, man, it takes up almost all of my free time.  And then there’s my…”  Peeta stopped short.

“Your mother,” Gale finished for him.

“Yeah.”  Peeta looked to Katniss then, probably because he knew it was a sore subject for her.  Katniss glanced away.    

Peeta’s mother.  As much as Katniss disliked her, Peeta still seemed to care about what she thought, even if he said he didn’t. 

Not that she could blame him.  Angering his mother was dangerous, and she wanted him to be safe.  Simply associating with her, as Peeta was doing now, could earn him a beating.  And Katniss felt constant guilt over it.  He shouldn’t be here now; she should tell him to stop coming, once and for all.  But she just… 

“Katniss, who’s that man leering at you?” Gale’s voice broke Katniss’s train of thought.    

“Leering?”  She blinked several times in succession.  No guys ‘leered’ at her.  Guys barely even knew she existed, aside from her small group‒and they didn’t exactly think of her as a ‘girl.’  She was just one of the guys; she’d never even been asked on a date.  Not that she’d want to go on one…except maybe with…  

Shaking off the ridiculous notion, Katniss shielded her eyes from the sun and looked over.  Gale was right; the man was actually staring at her.  He was an older man, wearing dark, fancy clothing and gold eyeshadow.  He definitely wasn’t from around here.  

“I don’t know.”  Katniss shrugged.  “Never seen him before in my life.  And he’s not leering.” 

“Nah, I think he is,” Gale smirked.  “He’s looking pretty hard at you, Catnip.” 

Katniss’s cheeks flushed.  It felt so strange and uncomfortable having a man, any man, look at her that way as if he was evaluating her… 

“Well, all I know is, he can’t be from District 12,” remarked Gale.  “Look at those fancy clothes.” 

Her old hunting partner had read her mind, and instinctively, Katniss looked back at Peeta for his take on the matter.  Peeta didn’t even seem to notice her; he was focused on the man, and he seemed none too happy about the situation.  

The man with the gold eyeshadow came over then, and he introduced himself to Katniss.  His name was Cinna, and he was from the Capitol.  

The Capitol.  What could a man from the Capitol possibly want with her?  

“I’m sorry to stare, but let me explain,” said Cinna.  “I’m a stylist in the Capitol, and I’ve been searching for the perfect girl to model a new line of clothing I’m designing.”  

Yeah?  And what does that have to do with me?

He was going to have to spell this one out for her.  

“I think you’re it.”  At his words, Katniss’s eyes widened.  She glanced back at her group, the entire lot seeming as thunderstruck as her.  “Miss…?”  He extended his hand.   

“Katniss Everdeen.”  She accepted his hand and shook it.  

“Katniss, what a lovely name.  May I call you Katniss?” 

Numbly, she nodded.  

“Well, Katniss, you’re just what I’ve been looking for.  That skin, those eyes…I could do wonders with your unique look.” 

Katniss blinked several times, opening her mouth and closing it like a fish out of water.

“No offense,” she finally managed to say, “but I think you have the wrong girl.  As you can see,” she motioned in presentation of her dirty clothing and disheveled hair, “I’m no model.” 

Cinna grinned.  “Not yet, you aren’t, but that’s where I come in.”  

Katniss couldn’t understand it.  What was this man thinking?  People from the Capitol were known for their exotic tastes, but this was a bit much.  So what if he thought she had nice skin and eyes?  Couldn’t he find plenty of other girls with far better skin (that wasn’t caked in dirt and the faintest hint of coal dust) and with much more alluring eyes.  A unique look?  Well, the Capitol was full of people like that, wasn’t it? 

“There must be better choices than me in the Capitol,” she spoke her thoughts aloud.    

“Yes, well, I want a girl who’s real,” explained Cinna.  “An ordinary girl.  One of the people.  From the districts, not some fashion icon from the Capitol.  I’ve worked with plenty of those, and they’ve left me…wanting.”  

Katniss stared blankly at the man before her.  

“Just think about, Katniss,” he said, taking her hand and patting it gently.  “It would only be for about three months, and it would pay a lot of money.” 

Money?  Her eyes lit up at the magic word.  Now that the mine was temporarily shut down after that accident, her family could certainly use the money, but a model?!  She couldn’t be a model.  And the thought of leaving behind her family and Peeta…well, she didn’t like it one bit. 

Katniss glanced back at her blue-eyed boy with the bread, who seemed perturbed and maybe a little sad.  Their eyes met, and pleadingly, she stared into his, hoping for a silent answer.  What do I do?  

#jhsgf82 #567inpanem #prompt 13 #Springtime edition 2021 #submission

[heavensbeehall]

"Catching Fire", Chapter 4

Part 1: The Spark

Chapter 4: Katniss worries the Capitol will force her to have children that go into the Hunger Games. She realizes this is why Haymitch has never married and (I assume) driven people away. The next day, Katniss has to be prepped more and it annoys her that Peeta doesn't (the patriarchy!). Her bad mood causes her to snap at Effie at lunch. Peeta comes to talk to her. She is surprised when Peeta apologies to her for the way he acted at the end of the previous book, saying he was jealous of Gale. But now he wants them to be friends. She asks to see his paintings. They discuss their PTSD nightmares. Then they arrive in District 11 and shit hits the fan.

Thoughts:

-- Katniss's first ideas about having to have a child go into the games is to a) commit suicide and b) run away. I understand the impulse to o flee. To be free. But I'd probably consider some kind of birth control (I don't know what's avail in Panem) or just never having intercourse. I am asexual so that wouldn't be much of a problem for me. Some people have said Katniss reads as asexual to them, and I sort of disagree. It might be just splitting hairs but to me she reads as someone who has not matured into a sexual being yet--probably because all her focus is on simply surviving. But she does seem to have some vague idea of having a life married to Gale possibly in the future, and then when it's presented to her that she will have to marry Peeta, her mind immediately goes to having kids. Also there's the "hunger" scene on the beach but we'll get there.

-- The "fight" with Effie kind of reminds me of siblings or cousins. Where you get fed up and just lash out, but know the person won't hate you later. (They're a team, aren't they?)

Quotes:

I try to enjoy the food like Hazelle said. The kitchen staff clearly wants to please me. They've prepared my favorite, lamb stew with dried plums, among other delicacies. Orange juice and a pot of steaming hot chocolate wait at my place at the table. So I eat a lot, and the meal is beyond reproach, but I can't say I'm enjoying it. I'm also annoyed that no one but Effie and I has shown up.

Aww I hope the kitchen staff didn't get blowed up in the rebellion.

As far as I can tell, they never get up before noon unless there's some sort of national emergency, like my leg hair.

I don't know why this is a line that I never forgot, but it is. Some things just stick with you. Like leg hair.

It's good to feel his fingers entwined with mine again, not for show but in actual friendship. We walk back to the train hand in hand.

This is the cutest thing I ever did read.

Some you wouldn't get right away, if you hadn't been with him in the arena yourself. Water dripping through the cracks in our cave. The dry pond bed. A pair of hands, his own, digging for roots. Others any viewer would recognize. The golden horn called the Cornucopia. Clove arranging the knives inside her jacket. One of the mutts, unmistakably the blond, green-eyed one meant to be Glimmer, snarling as it makes its way toward us. And me. I am everywhere. High up in a tree. Beating a shirt against the stones in the stream. Lying unconscious in a pool of blood. And one I can't place--perhaps this is how I looked when his fever was high--emerging from a silver gray mist that matches my eyes exactly.

When I went to a mental hospital for PTSD, we did art therapy. I was not as good as Peeta. Mine was a lot of heavy black lines.

#chapter 4 #prep team #effie trinket #peeta mellark #thg reread #district 11

[allaganexarch]

@menzosarres​ apparently i desperately wanted to talk about this so akjsndkjasnd thg reread reactions under the cut

like—I started rewatching the movies bc I had a desire to revisit the franchise, but quickly realized what I actually wanted was the books I was just being lazy lol.  I never had any great love for the movies, but the first two are okay--I’ve never seen the last movie because I couldn’t get past the *katniss hysterically screaming peeta’s name for 45 uninterrupted minutes* section.  Generally there’s a lot of screaming and hysteria in the movies, where in the books there’s a huge emphasis for Katniss on not showing anyone how hurt/upset she is, and it makes the moments when she does break down much more impactful.

the writing style is very particular? which is interesting.  idk how to really describe it except to compare it to a few bad knockoffs I read (i’ve read SO many knockoffs if you like formulaic ya dystopia hit me UP) that tried to copy it but infinitely worse, because there are some odd word/phrasing choices that work fine in thg but the knockoffs completely botched.  You will def feel that you are reading a YA novel sometimes.

general story holds up really well so far, but I’m only halfway through the second one, and I remember a lot of mockingjay being unpleasant to read for multiple reasons. it still bothers me a lot how much the narrative puts peeta on a pedestal, often to the detriment of showing compassion to katniss; I think I’d like him better if anyone were allowed to dislike him or point out his flaws.  the movies made him a lot nicer which I think might be part of why there are so many rabid shippers in the tags now?  a few years back it felt like there was more of a mix of ppl who did and didn’t like peeta.

also on this point ig the author was like PEETA AND GALE ARE A METAPHOR and that setup is v clear to me already where I am now, where I think the obvious deterioration of their character arcs into pure metaphor didn’t hit me before until mockingjay.  From my perspective at least currently it’s weird that she’s trying to set up a metaphorical contrast between them as there’s no clear delineation between how violent/peaceful/willing to rebel Gale and Peeta are.  Oh and this is weird—in the movies Peeta says something like “if you die I won’t have anyone left that I love” and in the books he’s like “yo I have friends and family too that will be just as dead as yours if we fail [to convince ppl we’re in love]” which was an odd change to make I think lol.

A lot has been said about how that whole thing turns out and I’ll reserve judgement until I reread it but it’s just a shame that the author seems to abandon all this excellent showing of how these people process their grief and trauma in favour of the peeta metaphor, like idk how to tell you that katniss is never going to move on from what she’s experienced if she’s forced to raise children she didn’t want with the boy she didn’t choose in the bombed-out remains of her home where the only ppl she cared about are dead or gone, but yeah sure choosing peeta is choosing life and peace over war and violence.  I’m more of a Gale fan in terms of the love triangle bc Katniss actually shows real interest in and camaraderie with him that isn’t motivated by ptsd, but I think a much better epilogue would have been letting Katniss rebuild her life and have some real peace and security before she even thinks about romance, as she repeatedly states she needs in the books.

SO much of the best stuff is left out especially of the second movie I feel, esp with the other victors, and I had completely forgotten the detail that Haymitch won the year of the last quarter quell when there were twice the number of tributes.  I also think the part about them training like careers before the reaping is really important and idk why they left that out of the movie—it’s the reason their strategy is so different, eg. going for the cornucopia and basically becoming the dominant alliance when the game starts.

idk clearly I still have a lot of feelings about this series, and it’s a shame that when I went looking for some good meta posts all I found was pro-peeta/katniss drivel and sort of weird broad strokes designations about what this or that element of the book represented with no real nuance or evidence cited.  maybe a solid feminist analysis of thg is too much to hope for in this hell world, but I feel there’s a lot to say there, and I used to love reading breakdowns esp of the love triangle metaphor—I’m a simple idiot and love a good stupid love triangle you see LOL.

but overall I’m very much enjoying rereading it and would recommend!  it’s a pretty quick/easy read with cliffhanger chapter endings to keep you interested--if you do end up revisiting it would be VERY interested to hear your thoughts!

#personal