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#holds so much danger and just. acceptance of the awful life ahead of her
lilgynt · 3 months
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honestly fine with gale as far as how he responds and feels about counter violence to the capitol like i get why katniss is like i hate how he treats innocent human beings like they’ve personally responsible for his suffering and doesn’t know about taking a life up close like she’s right but also he’s thinking big picture during a war and doesn’t help most of his thoughts about the capitol or said war are proven right - like when he’s like is it safe to have everyone gathered here at the hospital and katniss is thinking yeah this can’t be healthy or encourage healing and he’s thinking no they’re gonna be targeted bc they can’t run and are useless for capitol use and bam what happens. he’s right in his own way half the time but what annoys the fuck me about him is him being like so pushy about his feelings even when he KNOWS katniss is completely oblivious to that kind of stuff and keeps blindsiding her with it and getting mad at her for not knowing what to do with that info even with the fact that she found out at like. the worst time of her life when she was stuck in a situation she would have a very hard time getting out of safely with everyone she loves and holds it against her she cares about peeta at all and the whole you only care about me in pain and all i could think is i’ll never compete with how much pain peeta is in so i lost it’s like so you understand how katniss operates is mostly out of concern and worry romantically wise bc she hasn’t had a chance to care about this shit outside of like oh who i am hurting/killing with my choices and then are STILL like im gonna kiss her then stop bc she’s obviously not into it at the moment for the right reasons and it’s like kissing drunk i get he’s like a teenager and is a dumb shit but also leave that girl alone for the love of GOD
#personal#like sorry! i’m gonna like peeta more where they have scenes#where katniss actively seeks him out after nightmares and refuses to let his hand go#where they spend their last free day just hanging out and cuddling and she’s like okay. to letting this moment go on forever#when she thinks about kissing him she’s like yeah it felt nice and had a suprising heat and i miss it now that i can actually think about#and in general seems like every moment isn’t spent feeling super guilty or worrying about his feelings#like that’s a large bit of it but more circumstancal than like. something that would happen with peeta#but with gale katniss is like i just want my friend back i feel bad i hurt his feelings like this#how can i make him feel better i wish it was like before and she’s constantly throwing out olive branches#and gale is upset with nearly choice she makes so yeah i get why she’s like okay yeah ill kiss him see if that helps#and in her mind it’s like peeta equals the capitol getting what they want and that path#holds so much danger and just. acceptance of the awful life ahead of her#so even if she does talk about his long eyelashes at length i could see why she’s like confused about feelings for him#and gale seems like okay picking him is picking a different life even she’s not actively picking him for him#does this make sense i don’t know but i get peeved during gale katniss scenes like give that girl a BREAK.#she’s been through two hunger games is obviously fucked up dealing with a lot of background drama and obviously cares about the people#around her stop being so fuckin mean#like they have nice scenes but it’s not their romantic scenes for sure#she feels safe with gale wants him around and they have nice banter but he keeps fucking it up with this i love you crap#even when he realized he likes her like damn.
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fandomxpreferences · 2 years
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Let Me Love You
Pairing: Rooster x female!reader
TW: swearing, sad brad, angst with a happy ending (for the love of god we need some happy rooster, this man is endlessly tortured)
Summary: Bradley has been dealt a shitty hand in life, and he's determined to protect himself from getting hurt again. Everything is turned upside down when you blow into his life looking like everything he swears he doesn't want. (Based off this request)
Word Count:2.3k
A/N: Apparently im incapable of keeping it short and sweet. I have no idea how this happened, I didn't even know what direction I was going to take it and next think I know I have this so enjoy
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Bradley Bradshaw didn't do relationships. It was a universally accepted fact by everyone that knew him. After seeing the way his dad's death destroyed his mother, he decided he could never do that to someone he loves. He accepted his fate, resigning himself to a life with no wife or kids.
When his mom got sick, he came home and took care of her until she passed. If there was ever a glimmer of hope that he would one day have the white picket fence and perfect family, it died with her. The only person left that he could count on was his Uncle Maverick. Then he pulled his papers from the academy. Bradley was left alone in the world, scrambling to find a way to fix the gaping hole that was blown into his future. Trust didn't come easily to him after that. 
He'd had a few girlfriends scattered throughout his life, if you could call them that. They were more like flings that lasted a few months before he shipped off to another part of the world, never looking back. He knew it could never become something real. He was the love them and leave them type, and he was okay with that. Can't miss what you never had, right?
His mom had always kept his dad's memory alive, sharing stories of their love. Bradley couldn't wrap his head around how his mom never so much as looked at another man after his father's passing. No one would have blamed her. But she insisted that Nick Bradshaw had been it for her. Their brief time together was better than anything she would ever get from a lifetime with someone else. He never understood what she meant. Until he met you. 
From the second Bradley's eyes landed on you, he knew you were going to rip through his life like a hurricane. You had waltzed into the hangar that day with a heart-stopping smile. You were one of only two women in his Top Gun class and he could immediately see why. There was an air of confidence about you. Your hair was neatly styled, your shoulders back and head held high. He felt time stand still, and for the first time in his life, he wondered if he had been wrong all those years. You met his gaze, and he saw his entire future in your eyes. Maybe he did want someone to come home to.
He kept his distance the first few days, observing from afar. You were an extraordinary pilot. He was in awe watching you in the air. Your instincts were razor sharp and you flew your aircraft as if it was an extension of your own body. You were always two steps ahead, somehow anticipating what your opponent would do before they seemed to know themself. You flew extremely fast and loved to show off, yet you were remarkably precise and calculated. It made you a formidable rival. Bradley could never understand how you could just let go and trust your intuition. 
On the ground, you managed to be self-assured but kind. You could hold your own when provoked but had a laid-back and fun personality otherwise. Everyone seemed to like you without trying. You were easy to be around and made everyone feel like a part of the conversation. Your energy was magnetic and Bradley could feel himself getting pulled in. 
You were the only woman he ever felt himself wanting to break his own rules for. He found himself jealous of everyone who got to interact with you. His fists clenched when one of the other pilots managed to draw out a laugh and his body tingled whenever he saw your smile. You were dangerous, and he knew if he wasn't careful he would fall in love with you. Little did he know, it was already too late. 
From that point on, he avoided interacting with you unless in the air. If he did find himself in your presence, he was cold and shut off. You were never one to make enemies and didn't understand why he hated you. You had barely spoken to the man. You didn't get too hung up on it, letting his comments and attitude roll off your back. It went on like this for your entire time at Top Gun, and anytime you crossed paths for the next couple of years. Eventually, it hit a boiling point. 
You've been assigned to the same mission as Bradley, and the two of you have been paired up. You're drowning your sorrows at the bar on base, keeping your distance from Bradley a few seats down from you. You feel him shooting daggers at you and decide you've had enough. You stand and march towards him, stopping a couple feet away and crossing your arms. 
"What the fuck is your problem?" Your face is hot from a mixture of alcohol and anger. He shoots you a glance and scoffs. "I don't have a problem." He shrugs, and you roll your eyes. 
"Bullshit, Bradshaw. You've hated me since we were in Top Gun." Your eyes narrow and Bradley can't help but think you're cute when you're mad. He'd never admit it but his heart was racing, excited to talk to you even if you were chewing him out. 
He looks at you fully and his heart drops when he sees tears in your eyes. Shit. He never meant to make you cry. Truthfully, he didn't think you had noticed him enough to be able to elicit any type of response in the first place. His face softens and he sets his beer down. 
"I don't hate you." His voice is soft, but you hear him crystal clear. You shrink into yourself, your liquid confidence dwindling. Bradley has never seen you so timid and he mentally curses himself for being the cause of it. "Then why are you always mean to me?" You ask with a small voice. 
He avoids eye contact and crosses his arms. He's too drunk for this. "Because you scare me." He admits. "I don't like getting close to people, and I wouldn't be able to help myself." 
After his confession that night three years ago, your relationship changed. He slowly opened up, telling you all his most safely guarded secrets. You were best friends, one of you never far from the other. 
Bradley knew he was in love with you, but he also knew the two of you could never be together. You didn't feel that way about him and even if you did, he was determined to never let himself have the life he so craved with you. He was okay with keeping his feelings to himself if it meant protecting you. 
What the sandy-haired idiot didn't realize, was that you were head over heels for him too. It killed you to know you couldn't have more with Bradley. He had told you his reasoning for never wanting a serious relationship or family. You couldn't blame him, even if you did want to smack him in the back of the head for making choices based on a hypothetical situation instead of the very real one standing right in front of him. 
So that's how your relationship worked. Both of you decided that it was better to have each other as friends, than not at all. Which is what brings you to your current predicament.
You and Rooster are sitting across from each other on his couch. Every Friday you two order takeout and stay up watching shitty reality shows, but tonight you decided to add alcohol. You've both had a bit too much to drink, no longer paying any attention to the re-run playing on the tv.
You'd been thumb wrestling, the sounds of your giggles mixing and filling the room. All of a sudden, Bradley pulled back and got a serious look on his face. You had laughed and asked him if he was okay, but he didn't respond. It's been several minutes since either of you has talked, Bradley looking deep in thought. 
You're about to ask again when he looks up at you. Your heart squeezes when you see unshed tears on his water line. You don't say anything, silently reaching out to grab his hand and run your thumb across his knuckles. If you thought your heart hurt before, what he says to you leaves it shattered on the floor. 
"Everyone I've ever cared for has either died or left me. Except for you." A tear falls off his face and you reach forward to cup his cheek. It's a drunken moment of vulnerability, but you know the sentiment is real. You silently wonder how long he's been carrying that thought in his heart.
His large hand holds yours in place, and you realize your hand is completely enveloped in his. Your stomach does a flip when you feel how warm he is, and you can't help but notice how they fit together like puzzle pieces. 
"Look at me," you say and his eyes meet yours. "I will never leave you, Bradley." Before you have time to think it through, you lean forward and press your mouths together. His lips are softer than you expected, and electricity shoots through you. It's like a ball of fire explodes in your chest, sending warmth all the way to the tips of your fingers and toes. 
The second you make contact, Bradley is kissing you back. The two of you are chest to chest, lips moving in sync like you've done this a million times. Your bliss is cut short when Bradley launches backward as if he's been shot. He quickly stands and turns his back to you, running his hands through his hair. 
You stay on the couch and watch him pace. You should feel embarrassed, but all you can think about is how you want to hold the broken man in front of you until he's whole again. You know you can't go back to the way things were after tonight. Your voice is soft, and Bradley stops dead in his tracks when he hears you. "I'm in love with you." 
"Don't," he starts. You can hear in his voice that he's sobered up significantly. "You're not in love with me. Please, tell me you’re not in love with me. I'm not going to be able to pretend anymore. Please, let me pretend." He whimpers. 
You stand and walk towards him, stopping only a few inches away. You already know what he means, but you open your mouth to ask anyway. He gives you a pleading look, silently begging you not to continue. 
"Pretend what, Bradley?" His eyes screw shut and heavy tears stain his cheeks. He takes a deep breath before opening his eyes to look at you. "That I'm not in love with you too." He shakes his head and steps around you to sit back on the couch. 
His head drops into his hands and he continues. "If I let myself imagine a life with you, I'm too selfish to stop myself. I can't leave you like my dad left my mom. I can't leave anyone to mourn me." He sobs. 
You kneel in front of him and gently bring his face up where you can see it. "It's too late." You're crying now too and Bradley feels his heart break even further.
"I decided a long time ago that loving you is worth the risk of losing you. Please, let me love you." You choke out. 
"What if you're not the one coming home to an empty house? If I let myself love you and you're taken from me too, I don't think I'll survive." He admits. 
The only thing scarier to him than never coming home to you is the thought of you never coming home to him. He never thought he'd fall for another pilot and have to face the idea that he may be the one left heartbroken.
You place your forehead against his and close your eyes. "If god forbid something happens to me, I don't want to spend my last moments not knowing what it feels like to be loved by you. There's always a chance of something happening. What if we grow old and realize we missed a life full of love, because of fear? You keep asking what if something happens, but have you ever thought to ask what if something doesn't?" 
Bradley feels his resolve crumble. He knows that pretending he doesn't love you isn't going to make it hurt any less if he loses you. You're right, he'd rather mourn you knowing what it feels like to love you. What it feels like to kiss you, wake up beside you, have you trembling beneath him. He thinks about how it would feel to spend the rest of his life having to wonder and realizes how cruel it would be to sentence you to the same fate if something happens to him. 
In a split second, Bradley's entire world shifts. He lurches forward and his lips meet yours in a bruising kiss. His broad arms wrap around you and pull you up into his lap. You don't hesitate to kiss back, tangling your hands in his mop of curls and pulling at the hair on the nape of his neck. He licks your bottom lip and you part your mouth to allow him access. His tongue massages yours and he internally scolds himself when he realizes he could have been doing this all along. 
You pull back after a couple minutes, gasping for air. Bradley lays down, pulling you with him. The two of you stay like this, hearts and minds racing. There's a comfortable silence as you process what this means. 
Neither of you feels the need to say anything, there's a mutual understanding that everything just changed. You both know that everything could be ripped from your hands in a matter of seconds, but you don't care. You're his and he's yours. Nothing else matters.
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rphelperblog · 2 years
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An Enchantment of Ravens Book Quote Rp Meme
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by Margaret Rogerson- feel free to edot or change pronouns for rp service
“Why do we desire, above all other things, that which has the greatest power to destroy us?”
“Ah, but you were not a pawn. All along, you have been the queen.” 
“The ability to feel is a strength, not a weakness.” 
“Walking along a blade’s edge was only fun until the blade stopped being a metaphor.”
“If you must stare at something for hours on end, I’d prefer it to be me alone.” 
listen. The teapot is of no consequence. I can defeat anyone, at any time.”
“An extra twenty-four hours was nothing. Yet, it was everything. I might live more tomorrow then I did all the years of the rest of my life combined.” 
“When the world failed me, I could always lose myself in my work.” 
“Yes—I am in love—here’s the proof!” or was it always caught up in a wretched tangle of ifs and buts and maybes?” 
“I was alive in a way I never had been before, in a world that no longer felt stale but instead crackled with breathless promise.” 
"That's the worst declaration of love I've ever heard!” 
“One raven for uncertain peril. Six for danger sure to arrive. A dozen for death, if not avoided. The enchantment is sealed.” 
"Yes, you're the loveliest bird."
“Soft and sharp at once, an aching tenderness edged with sorrow, naked proof of a heart already broken.” 
“They looked like a pair of cupids who had decided they liked shooting people with real arrows better. They were horrible. I loved them so much.” 
“You are empty,and cruel.”
“Didn't they realize their lives were worth more than the dubious affection of one silly man?” 
“I couldn’t decide whether the idea owed itself to vanity, a depressing lack of creativity, or both.” 
“But isn’t absurdity part of being human? We aren’t ageless creatures who watch centuries pass from afar. Our worlds are small, our lives are short, and we can only bleed a little before we fall.” 
"Is that so terrible? You say it as though it's the most awful thing you can imagine. It isn't as though I've done it on purpose. Somehow I've even grown fond of your - your irritating questions, and your short legs, and your accidental attempts to kill me." 
“And we wouldn't live happily ever after, because I don't believe in such nonsense, but we both had a long, bold adventure ahead of us, and a great deal to look forward to at last.”
“Ah, I see. In that case, well-behaved ravens. They will mind their manners.” 
“What must it be like? To meet someone, to forge a connection, all in the span of one golden afternoon—only to find out that for her, each passing minute was a year. Each second, an hour. She would be dead before the sun rose the next day. A keen, quiet pain twisted my heart.” 
“This wasn't like me. So many years of being cautious, and in a matter of minutes I'd started slipping up.”
“Yet no matter what they were doing, everyone in the forest waited with an indrawn breath, waiting for the taste of autumn, the smell of change, the first news of a king and queen unlike any the world had known before.” 
“But that was the problem with the old me, I was coming to realize. She'd accepted that behaving correctly meant not being happy, because that was the way the world worked. She hadn't asked enough - of life, or of herself.” 
“Perfect subjects make for less interesting work.” 
“Fair folk are impossible.” 
“That’s irregular, coming from a human who can’t even eat a raw hare.” 
“Oh, you cannot imagine the power your kind holds over us. How very much we envy you. There is more life in your littlest fingernail than in everyone in my court combined.” 
"do you ever wonder what it would be like to be something other than what we are?” 
“We need to talk about what you said last night.” 
“I hate it when people tell me that.It’s never good.” 
“I wondered if my head and heart would ever reconcile, or whether I'd just cursed myself to relive this moment for the rest of my years, half assured I'd made the only choice available to me, half always whispering if only, the whole of me filled with bitter regret.” 
“Once, a Whimsical poet died of despair after finding himself unequal to the task of capturing a fair one's beauty in simile. I think it more likely he died of arsenic poisoning, but so the story goes.” 
“The thought of seeing judgment - or worse, disappointment - on her face when she looked at me next made me want to curl in on myself and never face the world again. I had no way to prove that the love him and I felt for each other was real and that we deserved every desperate, foolhardy inch of it, and I was already tired, so tired, of bearing its weight as a failure. A crime.” 
“This was a look that would make time stop, if it could. Soft and sharp at once, an aching tenderness edged with sorrow, naked proof of a heart already broken. Here I stood in a dragonfly dress, holding his arm, and he knew our time was almost over.” 
"You are like a living rose among wax flowers. We may last forever, but you bloom brighter and smell sweeter, and draw blood with your thorns.”
I love you wholly. I love you eternally. I love you so dearly it frightens me. I fear I could not live without you. I could see your face every morning upon waking for a thousand years and still look forward to the next as though it were the first.”  
“You mean the connection’s never occurred to you before? Do you have any critical thinking skills at all?”
“I’d always scoffed at stories in which maidens pine for their absent suitors, boys they’ve hardly known a week and have no business falling for. Didn’t they realize their lives were worth more than the dubious affection of one silly young man? That there were things to do in a world that didn’t revolve solely around their heartbreak? Then it happens to you, and you understand you aren’t any different from those girls after all. Oh, they still seem just as absurd—you’ve simply joined them, in quite a humbling way. But isn’t absurdity part of being human?” 
“He was astonishingly vain even by fair folk standards, which was like saying a pond is unusually wet, or a bear surprisingly hairy.” 
“If an unfamiliar dog follows you at night, don't stop to look at it. If you wake up to find a cat you don't recognize sitting in your yard, watching your house, don't open the door. And most of all, if you see a beautiful horse near a lake or the edge of the forest, never, ever try to ride it.”
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cazimagines · 3 years
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Perfectly exasperating
Synopsis: You really disliked Zemo, but one person you disliked more? John Walker. After bonding over how you disliked him with Zemo, you have the unfortunate situation of running into John. He flirts, insults, and hurts you and Zemo is ready to put him in his place.
Word Count: 3.6k
Warnings/Tags: Use of swear words, John Walker being a dick, soft Zemo, protective Zemo
Author’s note: I was not intending this fic to come out as long as it did. This was one of the ones I had been putting off to write other stuff till I finally pulled myself around to writing it and ended up getting really into it. Funny how that happens.
Masterlist
Sequel
Part 3
Part 4
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“Would you care for a Turkish delight?”
You bite the inside of your mouth in annoyance, refusing to even look at him. Instead of forcing your eyes to focus on a spot in front of you, not moving them in the slightest. Zemo waited for a few moments before sighing and turning away from you.
“You’ll eventually have to talk to me, y/n” he exclaims as he walks over to the kitchen side of the room. You were sitting in the safe house Zemo had provided. There wasn’t much to do, just sit and wait till the funeral started. Zemo sought to communicate to you to keep you two occupied, but you didn’t want to talk with him, so you didn’t. You just sat on the settee, staring at the sofa opposite you while Zemo walked around looking through the cupboards for food.
You were pissed when Bucky revealed he broke Zemo out of prison.
The avengers had been your family. Whenever you needed them Steve would be there to offer you advice, Tony there to make you laugh. Nat there to beat up whoever required it. Everything was wonderful in your life. For once. And he had ruined it.
He caused the family you loved to split, hate each other, and that left you alone. So alone. Losing both Tony and Steve made you more mad at Zemo. He robbed the last years you could have spent with them, so yeah, no wonder you refused to talk to him.
He loved to annoy you, though. Any moment he got he was beside you, creating sarcastic remarks about what was happening, trying to joke around with you. Trying anything to communicate with you. The worst of it was when he insisted you had to be his date on the mission in Mandripoor. Feeling his arm wrap around you, a kiss to your temple, the smell of his cologne flooding you, drawing you in. It pissed you off knowing how easily you fit into the role of his date. Yet you knew deep down why. Every time he made a snide remark, you had to bite your tongue to stop making one back. Every time he tried to joke with you, it took all your effort not to snort. You hated him and everything he does, yet you could sense a fondness growing for him, just a slight one, in the deepest corner of your heart. Left there to be locked away. Never acknowledged.
“So, the new Captain America, huh? What’s he like?” you hear Zemo ask, leaning on the counter of the kitchen table, his eyes burning into the side of your head.
You feel bile rise to your mouth as he spoke.
John Walker.
John fucking Walker.
If you hated Zemo, you despised John Walker. Just thinking of him brought a scowl to your lips. Steve meant everything to you. He was a father figure to you. He stood for all you believed in. He was your hope, your light in the darkness. And John Walker seemed to tarnish it. You wouldn’t have minded him if he was a different mascot for America. If he became America’s new hope. It was the fact that they called him Captain America. That he had the shield. The title belonged only to Steve. He claimed he wasn’t trying to replace Steve, but that is what he was doing. Him being called Captain America felt like a spit on Steve’s memory. People would forget him, everything he did for the country he loved. They would only focus on John Walker, and you detested that.
You didn’t blame Sam for giving away the shield, unlike Bucky. You could understand why he did it. That shield held such a responsibility, such a legacy it seemed impossible to ever live up to. No, you blamed the people who took the shield away from the museum. Without Sam’s permission. They should have asked Sam. But of course they didn’t care. They didn’t care at all.
“I see by your reaction that your impression of him isn’t a pleasant one,” Zemo says, bringing you out of your thoughts and back to reality.
“Have you met him?” he asks
You try to hold back your opinion, but John Walker made you so frustrated, you knew if you didn’t rant about him you would burst.
“Yes. He’s a dick,” you spit out
Zemo quickly straightens up, surprised you actually answered one of his questions.
“Oh? Are you finally speaking to me.” he inquires, walking around the kitchen counter towards you.
“Don’t push your luck” you mutter, side eyeing him as he sits down opposite you. Sam and Bucky were out leaving you alone with Zemo. At the moment you were all waiting till the funeral. Zemo claimed there were a few hours to kill before everyone had to gather. Sam and Bucky decided to check out the town, make sure they knew it well in case a situation occurred where we had to dash. They had forced you to babysit Zemo.
“No, no, I like to hear you talk. Please, if talking about how this new Captain America is a dick is how I get you to speak to me, then let’s continue.” Zemo says, pouring out a glass of whisky for you and him. He holds the glass out to you, an eyebrow raised. You sigh, grabbing the glass out of his hand and drank, feeling the warmth creep up your throat. Zemo chuckles as he watches you, leaning back on the sofa, his arms resting on top of it.
“My, my. The man must be terrible if just the thought of him is making you talk and accept drinks from me,”
“He’s so infuriating! He thinks because he is Captain America he can stick his nose in other people’s business!”
“Ah, so he is one of those people. Doesn’t understand boundaries. How rude,”
“And get this, he got annoyed at us! Telling us we should stay out of his way when he is the one getting in our bloody way!”
“No” Zemo fake gasps
“Yes!” you exclaim, going into a rant, “I can’t even bear to call him Captain America. He doesn’t deserve to be called that. His actual name is John Walker. He claimed he wasn’t trying to replace Steve, but that is exactly what he is doing! And how he talks to me as well. He’s so condescending, treating me as if I am a kid while trying to compliment me and act like he’s all that in front of me,”
Zemo’s eyes narrow and he places the glass down on the table between you two, “You mean he flirts with you?”
“If you could call that pathetic excuse flirting. I suppose. It pisses me off though,”
“I can imagine. He sounds nothing like what Steve was. Nothing like his legacy,”
It was your turn to narrow your eyes, watching Zemo curiously. “I assumed you hated Steve”
“I never hated him. No. I can admire what he stood for, I just find unrealistic. All superheroes are flawed. Innocents will consistently be collateral damage while superheroes are allowed to exist.”
You stare at Zemo, amazed. Not realising the silence you were making. You had always thought he hated Steve. It always seemed that way. Yet he didn’t? Knowing he didn’t hate the guy you always viewed as a father figure mattered to you. And you don’t know why.
Zemo stared back at you. He was studying your eyes, trying to figure out what you were thinking. He didn’t realise what he thought about Steve would have affected you, but it appears he was wrong.
“Don’t worry y/n we’re back and guess what! We found your fav-” Sam shouts, opening the doors of the room and strutting in but he pauses, noticing you and Zemo staring at each other from the sofa’s. “What’s going on here?”
Zemo is the one to pull out of the eye contact trance, smirking as he looks over at Sam, “We were just discussing John Walker.”
Bucky who had followed Sam in grounded at hearing Zemo utter that name. “Perhaps you two would like a drink and join us in considering how much of a dick he is?” Zemo asks, raising his glass to them.
A few hours later you walked down the street following Zemo to find his associate. You didn’t appreciate how secretive he was being, but you understood it. He had many people who wanted to get him, and the second he wasn’t useful to us. He would be doomed.
“It’s too dangerous for you guys to be pulling this shit” you hear a whiny voice shout. Peering up, you notice John Walker and his sidekick ‘Battlestar’ or whatever jogging down the steps towards you.
“Ah! How did you find us now” Bucky shouts with his arms raised, striding towards them.
“Come on. You really think three Avengers can walk around Latvia without drawing attention,” his friend responds.
“No more keeping us in the dark,” John mutters angrily
Zemo, who you were walking besides, turns his head to you, “I understand what you mean by infuriating”
You chuckle as John looks angrily between you two, “You can start by telling us why you broke him out of prison,”
“He did that himself technically” Bucky replies, and Zemo grins at you, as if bragging about it.
“Aw, this better be an unbelievable explanation-” John Walker exclaims, reaching up to you.
“Hey take it easy before it gets weird,” Sam suggests, interrupting John.
“I know where Karli is,” Zemo reveals to John Walker, his seductive accent sticking out from the rest of them. He tries to walk past John. You, Bucky and Sam follow, but John stops him, placing a hand on his chest.
Zemo glares ahead, disgusted at John for even daring to touch him.
“Well, where” he says, getting into Zemo’s face
“All we know is, it’s a memorial so we are going to intercept her there,” Sam adds, trying to defuse the tension.
Zemo grabs John Walker’s hand and pushes it off him, striding forward again, and you jog to catch up with him.
“See why I call him a dick now,” you whisper
Zemo smirks, looking back at you, “Yes. He’s perfectly exasperating”
“What? No. Wait. No! No! Stop. Hold on. Stop. Okay?” John exclaims running forward and stopping you all in your tracks again after something Sam had said. “I think we are way past reasoning with her”
Zemo just stares ahead, fed up with John while you groan in annoyance. Not being able to even bring yourself to look at the man in front of you.
They argue for a few moments while you and Zemo stand idly to the side, Zemo glances at you rolling his eyes making you giggle. You smack his arm slightly trying to get him to stop making you laugh, but that only makes Zemo chuckle along with you. Eventually they calm John down but he glares over at Zemo, “We will deal with you later.”
“I’m sure it will all come to an agreeable conclusion” Zemo says, gesturing with his hands. He walks ahead, searching for his associate while John Walker moves beside you. You try to pick up your pace, but he keeps up.
“So working with a criminal now. Not very avengery like. I thought Zemo hated Steve. I wonder what Steve would think of you working with him,” he mutters peering at you.
“Need I remind you-you are also working with him now,”
“Come on, darling, don’t be like that,” John responds grinning, placing his palm on your back.
“Get your hand off me” you growl scowling at him
“Most women would fawn over me” John cockily resorts, still not removing his hand
“She asked you to remove your hand” you hear Zemo state, glancing over you see he had stopped walking forward, turned around and was now glaring at John. “Do I need to remove it for you?” he says angrily.
John frowns at Zemo. Finally, taking his hand off you and striding up to Zemo. Zemo tilts his head, his jaw clenching in fury as he stares at John.
“You are nothing but a dirty criminal. Don’t think for a second you can talk to me like that,”
“I will when you are being rude and disrespectful towards a lady,”
John scoffs, peeking over to you, then back to Zemo. Everyone else was standing to the side, not sure if they should intervene or not.
“What did she suck you off or something?”
Chaos ensured.
Bucky and Sam had to leap forward to stop Zemo from launching onto John while Battlestar had to hold John back. “Too far man, too far” he muttered to John
Zemo was snarling at John, his teeth bared in rage. His hair had fallen loose from their usual position and was hanging down over his forehead, giving him a more wild look. The vein in his neck stood out, twitching. His eyes were raging with fire as he looked at John. He kept trying to push past Bucky and Sam to get to John, but eventually gave up knowing it was futile.
You were standing at the side, shocked that John would have the ego to say something like that and at Zemo’s rage towards John for saying it. John adjusts his head. Not looking you in the eyes, but looking in your direction. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t of said that”
Pulling your senses together, you walk up to John, glaring at him. “Yeah, you damn well shouldn’t have. You’re a dick. Nothing like Steve. You never will be,”
John wrinkles his nose in anger, frowning at your remark. You walk over to Zemo now that Bucky and Sam had let go of him. You give him a nod, showing your appreciation, and he nods back, though still glaring at John.
“Who I choose to associate myself with is none of your business. Who I choose to suck off is none of your business. Perhaps you can go fuck yourself and learn a bit of decency,” you spit at him.
A brilliant thought crosses your brain for another way to twist the dagger of your dislike into John. You reach out and grab onto Zemo’s hand, clasping it.
The action causes everyone to turn wide eyed to you. Including Zemo. He glances down at your hand in his then back to yours, surprise in his gaze but he immediately covers it up turning back to John smirking. He turns to behind himself, then back to the group.
“My associate is up ahead,”
You all turn to look forwards and see a little girl staring at you. Walking forward again, gripping his hand, Zemo nods to the girl as you all approach.
“Hello my friend,”
He holds out some money, a lot by the looking of it, and says to her, “This is for your family”
The girl hastily snatches it, obviously in need of it, and you can’t help but feel your heart warm a bit, seeing how kind Zemo was being to her.
“Can you show us the way?”
She beckons with her hands and walks forward. Zemo looks back at you, nodding to make sure you were okay, then follows her.
“What the hell” John murmurs from behind.
Following the girl, she leads you to a building. She turns, pointing inside a doorway, and runs inside not to be seen again.
“Karli’s in there,” Zemo tells the rest of the group. Sam replies and heads inside to talk to her while John suddenly grabs Zemo’s arm and yanks him against the machine on the wall.
Zemo moans as he is shoved into it, the hard outer piece hitting into his chest roughly.
“Hey. You’ve got ten minutes” John shouts to Sam as he takes out a pair of handcuffs and attaches them to Zemo.
“Really” Zemo mutters as John cuffs him to the machine.
“Then we are doing things my way,” John declares ignoring him
“Aggressive” Zemo jokes, though from his eyes you could still see the anger he harbors towards John.
He twists his head to watch John stride forward, staring at Sam, then back to him. “But I get it”
You wander over to stand by Zemo as you wait for Sam to talk to Karli.
“This day has brought a lot of changes. This morning you refused to say a single thing to me and now just moments ago you were holding my hand,” Zemo speaks quietly to you.
You shoot him a glare, “I did that to agitate John,”
“Sure, that was the only reason” but you knew from his eyes he didn’t believe you. They sparkled with amusement as he looked down at you.
“That cuff must bother you” you mention glancing over at them.
“I don’t mind. I quite enjoy cuffs, in the right setting of course,” he quips.
You turn on your side, looking at him, your lips curling into a smile. If we are going to play that game, you thought.
“Oh, what setting would that be?”
Zemo’s smile deepened, enjoying seeing you play along, “I’m sure you would like to know”
“Do you have to do this here!” John exclaims, glaring at the two of you. You quickly step back from Zemo, forgetting that you two had company. Your eyes snap to Bucky’s with worry, but he wasn’t looking at you. He glared at the ground, not seeming to care what was happening between you and Zemo.
After that Zemo tried to engage you in conversation again but you effectively ignored him, going back to how you were treating him earlier, which you knew was frustrating him.
John was looking down at the shield, then squeezed the bridge of his nose with his fingers, panting. Both you and Zemo glanced up, watching him cautiously. You glanced at Zemo and he stared back, confirming you were both thinking the same thing about Walker.
He got up and started shuffling towards the doorway. Both you and Bucky eyed at each other for the first time with the same recognition in your eyes. You leave Zemo’s side to walk over to where John was.
“No, no, no. This is a bad idea,” John mutters as he paces around. Zemo watches him like a hawk while you and Bucky stand side by side, arms crossed.
“It hasn’t been ten minutes, John. Sit tight,” Bucky replies.
“Don’t do that. Don’t patronize me,” he spits back, pacing around.
“He knows what he is doing,” you reply
There’s silence for just a moment. You watch as John turns towards you and walks fast, hitting his fist against the shield, “I’m going in”
Bucky walks forward and places his hand on John, stopping him from moving further.
He tries to antagonise Bucky, trying to make him guilty for what could happen to Sam. And you could tell his words were influencing him.
“You will not be going in till ten minutes are up,” you state sauntering over to them
“Oh, so the whore has something to say,” John spits out
In the back, Zemo growls, tugging on the cuffs that connected him to the wall. You feel the outrage prick up on you as John’s remark.
“Don’t call her that” Bucky says, glaring at John
“She’s been openly flirting with the terrorist over there, so yeah, I think it’s appropriate to call her that,” John bites back
You rush forward, attempting to punch John in rage, but he was able to sidestep you and brings the shield up, connecting it harshly to the side of your head. Pain soars across your face as you fall down onto the ground. You groan, your eyesight going dark around the sides and black patches covering parts of what you could see.
“BASTARD” you hear someone shout with a beautiful accent. From the floor, you can’t make out much of what is going on. Someone with a metal arm attacking another guy. A man with a shield being attacked by a man in a trench coat. It was all too confusing for you. You just wanted to sleep.
You could feel yourself fading in and out. Your eyes begging to close. You could hear shouting. Someone talking.
Your head was raised. Someone was holding it in their hands. Your vision is blurry but as they get nearer your eyes could focus on them. Beautiful brown eyes, messy brown hair, cute thin lips. It was him.
“Y/n!?” Zemo shouted at you, “Y/n stay with me”
“My head hurts” you mutter to Zemo as he lifts you up, placing you against the wall. Slowly your eyesight came back, and you could see your surroundings. Only you and Zemo were left.
“Zemo, where is everyone?” you ask turning your head, but in doing so it makes you feel incredibly dizzy. You groan as Zemo places a hand on the side of your face to stop you moving.
“They went after the Sam,”
“I need to help them!”
“No, you need to stay here and recover,”
You look over at the wall then back to Zemo, “How did you get out of the cuffs?” you ask
“Ah well…” Zemo says and glances down at his hand, your eyes follow and widen seeing his hand, bruising covering it, his thumb sticking out at an odd angle.
“You broke your hand to get out!?”
“Well, I couldn’t let him get away with saying those things and hurting you,” Zemo mutters, smiling slightly but you could see the pain flickering in his eyes, “I gave him a well-deserved punch in the face”
You chuckle at the thought. Leaning forward, you kiss him lightly on his forehead, a gesture of you wanting to ease his pain. You move back just in time to see him looking at you, surprised, before your vision faded.
Taglist: @multiyfandomgirl40 @ineffablebean @freyjasamael @avgravy @huntheimpossible @checkurwindow @there-goes-thefighter @bunniwritesx @montypythonsholysnail @yallgotkik @wonderwoman292
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meshlasolus · 3 years
Text
What Once Was Mine
Chapter 3
Summary: Locked away in a house her entire life, she always dreamed of exploring the nearby kingdom for just a day, believing it could make the rest of her days in solitude bearable. What she was unware of, was the real reason she'd been hidden away for so long. Changes comes swift like a flying dagger when a thieving bounty hunter seeks solace in the old home.
Din Djarin Royalty!AU / Tangled!AU
Pairing: Din Djarin x Princess Kryze!Reader
A/n: y'all keep eating this up for some reason even though it's literally the product of an idea I had while poopin
Warnings: mentions of death, drowning, Angst, lil flirty
SERIES MASTERLIST
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The steep climb up the rocky hill was a bit more than you were expecting, and the bounty hunter was not being merciful in the least. It was almost as if he knew the terrain would be complicated, and tried his best to make it even more difficult in order to drive you want to turn back. It was unkind, and since you were the one holding this situation under your thumb, you needed to negotiate some more terms, or at least make it even.
"You must be in an awful hurry to leave me behind," you paused, holding up your dress high enough to step onto the high rock. "Especially since I'm the one you're supposed to be escorting."
"Is it too much for you?"
You huffed a sigh and glared up ahead at him, you knew what he was doing, and two could play at that game.
"Because if it is, maybe you'd be more comfortable back at your house."
You used your powers to pull out the stone from underneath his supporting leg, sending him sliding down the hill. He landed several feat beneath you, standing back up with a low gruff in his voice. He looked back up at the place he'd fallen from, his held such confusion, as well as frustration. What in the world had happened for him to fall?
"This hill has loose stones, you might wanna be careful," he said with a scoff, beginning to come back up the rocky surface. He didn't have to get too far to be face to face with you, given that you had gone a bit slower.
"Is this too much for you?" You teased with a smirk. You may be absolutely insane for assuming your ears recorded anything of the sort, but at the moment you swore you'd heard him chuckle just the slightest at your antics.
Reaching the top of the hill, he decided ultimately that he would wait for you, knowing that after this, there wasn't much that could deter you or the child enough from wanting to continue the journey. He accepted the fact that he would be taking you into the kingdom as promised, because it was the only plausible way he would reattain the dark saber without searching for days on end. Though he was a thief and a hunter, he was still a man of his word, and it would not have sat right with him had he gone back on a fair deal.
The trip down the steep hill was somewhat easier, but also scarier to an extent. The sharp rocks at the bottom that lead to a forrest trail betwixt the trees were a sign that any fall would surely be fatal. It was only a little further. You kept looking down, passed your feet to the dangerous bottom, and felt that you needed some, nay, any form of distraction you could obtain.
"So, I never caught your name," you muttered, now much closer to him than on the climb upwards.
"I'm not giving you my name."
You quelled your brows together, a sour look spread on your face. He didn't need to be so stingey. He was after all going to be your companion for the next two days, willingly or otherwise.
"Then what am I supposed to call you?" Your sweet question almost took him by surprise. Most people didn't care for his name, and if they did, usually it was because they were hoping for the reward that came with it, hanging over his head like clouds in the sky. He was perplexed at your genuineness.
He still hesitated, of course, because he's a wanted bounty hunter and thief, and even having you use his name with the purest of intentions would end up badly in the presence of the wrong company. Ultimately, what could go wrong? He's gotten himself out of enough to deal with a little heat, only if the need arises in the first place.
"Call me Din," he said with a sigh, going down further between the narrow path. If you can even call it a path.
You smiled and let a blush seep into your cheeks. You rather liked his name, if it was indeed his real name. You supposed he said it rather quickly for it to be made up. It was simple and easy to say, but unique in a way that you've never heard of before. There was no character in any story, nor person in any history book that possesses his name. You wouldn't ever forget it.
"Din," you practiced saying it out loud, very quietly I might add. You said it again, maybe three or four times just to let it roll off your lips.
"Watch your step as you come off, here," he warned, stepping over one of the final stones in the way, almost close enough for his feet to touch the grass.
"Where-?" You asked, missing the exact spot he was talking about and falling forward against him. He gripped your arms to hold you up, and make sure you didn't take him down as well. You were close enough to see his eyes again, and appreciated the contrast of what they looked like out in the sun from when you were back at the house. Back there they were dark as night with endless pathways in the brown depths. Now they were exposed to the light that came in beams from the sky, making the irisis pool like honey around his pupils. He had let his eyes drop from yours for only a second, glacing at something you didn't quite catch before he put distance between you. He made sure you were stable before stepping off the stone and onto the forest floor. You followed soon after and made your way to the trail.
-
Silence was something you learned Din was accustomed to. It seemed the only words he liked to say were the ones he felt were absolutely necessary to vocalize. Things like 'watch your step' and 'we're crossing over here' made a few appearances. You figured he must be lonely with all that silence. You hated being lonely, and would loathe for anyone else to bear the same cross. It made you wonder what kind of life he truly lead, beyond the thieving and hunting, he must have had something else to fill the void. Unless he didn't, which is why you felt saddened all of a sudden.
"Are you okay?" He asked, turning to the side of him and noticing you'd slowed down. It took you a moment to snap out of it, letting your eyes regain contact with his as you sped back up to your former pace.
"Of course, I was just thinking," you explained, which gave him a nervous feeling. He didn't want you thinking too much on this journey, because thinking lead to talking, and of that he wasn't a fan.
He huffed out a breath, like he was preparing himself for a question. You almost didn't even bother asking, but you were bursting with curiosity. This was the first person from the outside world that you'd ever met, you were bound to have questions one way or another.
"I was just wondering," you took a few steps in front of him and turned around, walking backwards down the trail so you could see him better. You felt more connected through conversation by facing him. "I've never actually had real friends, and I don't know how a person would act if they had them... but you don't seem like you possess any either."
Grogu began to babble on, waking up from his nap right this moment. He was probably enjoying the view since most of the trip has been spent backwards for him.
"People don't need friends. Having friends means having attachments, and I'm not very fond of those," he said, thinking about how just this morning he let Xi'an and Ran get aced to the palace guards. He kept running, didn't turn back... now look at him. He's stuck as an escort for the next day and a half to a girl he hasn't met his whole life.
"So you're like me?" You asked curiously, looking behind you once to make sure you were staying on the path and avoiding any objects in the way that you might trip over.
"No, I know plenty of people. They are not friends."
"I don't understand..."
He stopped in his tracks dropping his head to the ground. He knew you wouldn't stop until he answered you, and to prevent a headache from coming on, he figured he better do it quickly.
"Not everyone you meet is your friend."
"Then who do you talk to?" You knew he didn't like to talk, but surely he had someone he could tell his troubles to. Even you had someone for that, though he didn't ever talk back.
"You really want to know?"
You nodded eagerly with a smile, thinking he might really be interested in opening up to you. Perhaps he would tell you of a family member, or mentor of some sort. Maybe not a friend, but someone he was close with.
"Several women in the kingdom," he said, side stepping you and continuing on the trail. You were unsatisfied with that vague answer. It was a poor response really, and you didn't understand the meaning. He meant to tell you he had no friends, yet several women in the kingdom were his buddies?
"But if you talk with them, surely they are your friends."
Your sheer naïvety was making him crumble. There was no way in the world you were so innocent, even after being locked behind closed doors for so long. You read books, didn't you? Even books should be enough to explain the goings on in real life society.
"It doesn't work like that. Some of the women in the kingdom have habits of liking bad men who only stay for the night," he paused, wondering if he had even given enough information for you to latch onto. "And I'm a bad man, so I don't have a hard time finding company."
Now came the turning point, because the old discussion about what signifies a friend was long forgotten. The mentions of the women he had associated himself with rather frequently, had left your mind. You brain had completely shifted to his last words. Bad man.
"I don't believe you are a bad man," you said with furrowed brows. You didn't think he should believe it either. That kind of thinking was harshly damaging to one's mind. Even if he was a bad man, why would he admit ir to himself? Wouldn't that just make him sad and woeful?
"You're kidding me. I broke into your home, showing up with something stolen, then threatened you. Do you have any idea what the concept of bad is?" He wasn't angry, but in disbelief. He almost prepared himself to laugh, but you hadn't been joking in the slightlest.
"You never threatened me," you corrected him, and you were right. He hadn't made a move to harm a hair on your head since he laid eyes on you. "And besides, would a bad man have caught me when I fell?"
"I didn't have much of a choice."
"You could have dropped me," you remind him. He is somehow enraptured by your perception of reality. It's as if you can't see the world for what it really is. You'd never seen the world at all, and that was mainly the reason why everything was so beautifully poetic and majestic to you.
Everything you knew, you knew from books... but books lied, they made things prettier. Not being able to see the entire picture made your mind easy to accept the beauty above all else. When one does not see a flaw, they cannot acknowledge that it is there in the first place.
It was a concept he was coming to terms with, you being such an optimistic beam of light and curiosity. He hadn't ever met someone so excited to walk on a dirt road before, but here you were, frolicking down the path as if it were a marble hallway in the palace, not mention, barefoot.
He smiled with real intention under the mask for the first time in a while, thankful that the cloth strip was there to hide the expression.
Coming out of the forest, there stood a tall structure -a magnificently built dam-, with sluices protruding from every angle. The water that flowed was a beautiful sight to see, with the glint of light as it rushed and roared along the wood. The trickling sound as it moved was pleasing to the ears, and resembled that of rainfall off the corner of your house.
"We'll stop here for a few minutes to rehydrate, but we can't stay long, this part of the land is closely watched by palace guards."
You understood him, going to an open water stream, gathering the water in your hands and taking it into your mouth, as much as you could at a time. You twisted the wrap on your body that Grogu was nestled safely in, bringing him to your chest as you allowed him to do the same with the water. You waited patiently until he was done, smiling as he let out a satisfied squeal. Ever the joy your little bundle was, his little noises made you heart happy every time you heard them.
You noticed a shadow come over you both, and looked up to see that on a ledge stood a single palace guard. You didn't know what to look for, but his armor and helmet were a dead giveaway that he was associated with the kingdom's protection. He stepped away from the ledge after he saw Din, and you jumped from your place to warn him.
"Din, they saw us," you said, gathering his attention.
"Who did?"
A rustling cry of horses from just up the bend was enough to alert him to the rather obtuse situation. The horses were charging quickly towards you, and you wasted no time in resecuring the baby to your back in a safe manner.
"Run," he uttered, pulling you back towards the forrest, to a place he seemed to know where to go. He knew these woods well, and this wasn't the first time he'd been caught drinking from the good old watering hole. This was however the first time he had company. He needed to create an obstacle for the guards to pass through, and hopefully slow them down.
He grabbed the knife from the holster on his thigh, throwing it with perfect accuracy to cut the rope by the top of the dam. The gates if it were thrown open, and the water that had piled up for months at a time came gushing through like a river.
"Are you insane?" You screamed, following after him under the wooden sluices to find a cavern. It had a small entrance, which made for an abundance of fear on your behalf.
"Follow me."
"I can't go in there," you yelled, shaking your head frantically. "I have a fear of small spaces."
"That's ironic," he said, shoving you ahead of him anyways, following after you as the water began to flood around your feet. The cave was bigger on the inside, with a single stream of light coming out of the top, maybe a foot above your head. You ran through the water, climbing up the rocks to find a wall was cutting you off from other parts of the tunnel.
"They sealed it off," he mumbled to himself. It brought you to a moment of panic, knowing you were trapped.
"We have to go back, we could drown."
You trudged back through the water, which now sat at your knees. It was a lot thicker now than it seemed to be when you were drinking from it. You ducked down to the hole you entered through, but it too was jammed closed, a large rock held you in place, but kept letting gallons of water in by the second.
"No. No, no, no. This isn't happening." You backed away and ran a hand through your hair, which had fallen out of it's braids for all the running that ensued.
Din came over to the stone, pushing at it as hard as he could, trying with all his might to somehow get it out of the way. It wasn't going to budge, and it got harder and harder as now the water was around his hips. He misplaced his hand on a corner of the rock, falling into it as it sliced open into a cut that started in his palm and ran down his forearm. He gave up, knowing the stone wouldn't allow any leeway.
You stood back and reached for the hole in the ceiling of the cave, where the small opeing sat. It wasn't going to fit either one of you through to the other side. This was it, right now. You were all going to die here... maybe not all of you. You took Grogu from his confinement on your back and held him up to the opening. He cried, and reached out for you, but you wouldn't let him experience this. It was going to be painful.
"It's okay, love," you told him with tears in your eyes. He made more noises of sorrow and kept grabbing for your hand, but you pushed him through the small hole, knowing he was going to be better off out there than in here, where the water came above your stomach. The top of the cave wasn't as narrow as the bottom, so the flow slowed down a little, but didn't stop. It was only a matter of time. There was something incredibly poetic to be said about this tragedy, but you were no poet, you were just a girl.
Your tears were by far unstoppable now, and you wrapped your arms around yourself for a sense of security you knew was going to be short lived.
Din didn't feel like crying, but he did feel like punching something. Given the fact that the entire interior of the cave was purely rock, he deemed it a bad idea.
"Where's the kid?"
"I got him out," you said, nodding upwards to the stream of light. You wiped your eyes, knowing it was probably the last time you'd ever see him again. The little blessing in your otherwise tragic life. Your life, which was about to end. This was all too fast. One moment you walked through the gleaming light in the trees, away from the home that kept you still, and in place, now it was a far opposite. You didn't think it could possibly be this real, that you could meet your end so soon after liberation.
You sniffled, trying to calm yourself for the road ahead. You'd read about drowning. The victim is said to feel the sensation of water in their lungs even after they're dead. You weren't looking forward to it. You hated yourself for dragging not only yourself, but another human being into this mess. The first one you'd ever met outside of your mother. Your mother.
"My mother was right, I never should have left," you cried, not able to hold onto any form of peace or calm. Given the circumstances, you deemed yourself the allowance. "I'm so sorry, Din."
He sighed, flipping his hood off and stripping his face of the mask.
"What are you doing?" You asked, confused. He hadn't taken that thing off since you met him, which meant he clearly had a specific reason for wearing it.
"I'm not going to die next to someone who doesn't even know what I look like," he explained, forgetting the mask in the water as it rose above your shoulders.
You were enthralled with the sight of him instantly, dark brown hair, laying in sloppy locks against his head. Even with the sweat that coated his forehead and scalp, his hair still looked fluffy and soft to the touch.
Light facial hair grew around his jawline, and beneath his mouth, framing it perfectly. A thicker layer of scruff hair made up the moustache that layed over his top lip. His lips. You had a hard time taking your eyes away from them, only to find the gentle curve of his nose when you did. Pairing everything with the eyes made of honey, he was beautiful. There was no way you could have ever imagined him to look this way, and yet, you couldn't imagine those eyes belonging to any other face but his. You hadn't seen many faces before, and the ones that were drawn in your novels weren't as realistic as you'd like them to be. His face was enough to distract you momentarily from your fate which was fast approaching.
"You're awfully handsome, you know," you said, taking your eyes back to his, while still admiring the other factors that were now within sight.
"I know."
You chuckled softly, knowing it was just an attempt to lighten the mood. The water swarmed your shoulders, and the cold temperature was getting to be scarier than the idea of drowning in it. The width of the cavern was narrow again, and as the water began to climb your neck, you realized you were hiding something from him, too.
"As long as we're about to die, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to tell you that I have magical abilities that can move things with my mind," you said awkwardly. He looked back at you as if you had shown him a ghost.
He clearly didn't believe you, but he was still shocked at your confession... that you could move things with your mind. Wait, you can move things with your mind!
"I can get us out of here," you said frantically, coming to realization. How foolish of you not to remember your gift.
The water overtook the both of you, and as you held your breath, you placed both hands on the ceiling of the cave, trying to focus on breaking it apart. Your necklace glowed green as the stone separated into small pieces, making an opening big enough for you both to fit through. You pushed yourselves through, pulling up to be met with a rapid movement of water. The dam was still spilling out, or so it would seem, because it carried you into a moving river of draining water. It was hard to keep your head above the constant wave, since you couldn't swim, but you focused all your power again on simply staying afloat.
You saw Din paddling toward land when he collided with a rock, knocking him out upon impact. His head went under the water a second later, and you panicked. A shout of his name did no good, and you struggled to get to him. You weren't going to let it end this way for him, not when it was your fault you were both in this mess to begin with.
You didn't stop trudging through the water until you were by the rock. The water was pressing his body against it under the stream, and it took all your strength to heave him up. You clung to him, and the rock, looking to see how far you were from the edge of the water. You heard a soft squeal from behind you, and saw Grogu sitting by himself in a patch of pine needles. He was more than happy to see you, given that a moment ago he thought you were about to die. He was so distraught, but seeing you now, his mood was cheerful as ever. You paddled over and grabbed onto an overgrown weed, hauling yourself as high as you could. It was difficult, carrying all the extra weight in your other arm, but you managed to somehow get both of you ashore.
You rolled him over, hoping he would wake up, but he didn't, and you weren't sure what to do.
.
.
.
Tags: @icanbeyourjedi @castleallherown @mysticalgalaxysalad @princess-prettyy @67impalagirl13 @agingerindenial @childrenofthewatch @insomniac-nerd-posts-things
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lantsovsupremacist · 3 years
Note
nikolai lantsov request of exes to enemies to lovers with angst and fluff (happy ending pls)
blondie writes for nikolai lantsov and him alone. i simply translate! 😉
part 1/2 🧍‍♀️you get happiness later!
nikolai lantsov: sad beautiful tragic
time is taking it’s sweet time erasing you, and you got your demons and darling they all look like me.
cause we had a beautiful magic love there; what a sad, beautiful, tragic love affair.
with footsteps pounding down the stone staircase, you locked your eyes beneath you to avoid falling victim to one of the chipped steps. the tears collecting at the forefront of your irises did little to mitigate the matter. the castle still confused you but as long as you could flee from wherever he was, you would manage. for every passageway you put between yourself and the place you left him you breathed a little deeper.
he did not call after you.
he did not care to fight for you.
he did not want you to come back.
perhaps, you would not have acted any differently, but his actions—or lack there of—still stung immensely. it took no longer than a blink of an eye for him to break your heart. the strong hands that had once held you tore it into two without leaving behind a shred of remorse.
you felt overwhelmed and dizzy. you started to hold your breath in an attempt to delay the sobs smoldering in your throat. any more oxygen and they would surely be set ablaze.
when the door finally closed behind you and things quieted, you allowed yourself to tolerate the tears. how unfortunate it was that you fell apart behind four unfamiliar walls. the room was more of a formality than anything else, given you had not spent a night apart from nikolai. that would all change now, of course.
it had been easy to fool around with sturmhond. you did not have to care if every word he spoke was a lie. you were not responsible for either his feelings or your own. you entertained each other for a time.
a knock came at the door. with your fingertips gripped across the back of a chair, you looked up into the mirror ahead of you. puffy eyes hanging above red and splotchy cheeks reflected back.
“go away.”
ignoring your command, the door swung open.
genya shuffled inside, hands behind her back. you started to cry again. it was not nikolai. your breathing grew despairingly shallow. your mind wanted to forget nikolai, but your heart was crumbling without his other half to support it.
“oh,” she whispered, immediately beginning to wring her hands at her sides, “oh, honey.”
your chest battled gravity as it rose up and down repeatedly, “he doesn’t want me anymore.”
genya sunk down on her knees alongside you, bringing a quick arm around your shoulder. she brought your hair behind you shoulders and wiped the tears that had already fell. with furrowed eyebrows, she brought a hand to your wrist. stroking her finger over your pulse point, you began to find yourself relaxing your breathing. she kissed the top of your head, a spot where a crown might have one day rested.
“nikolai is foolish and confused,” genya comforted you, “i think he wants you more than anything else, so much so that he doesn’t know what to do.” a sad smile lined her features, exposing a dimple just beneath one of her scars.
“so many people want him,” you began, rising from the ground with a sniffle, “the entirety of ravka depends on him, and i’m just me.”
“i happen to believe he’ll disagree,” she offered, “i know i certainly do.”
genya sighed, tugging on your elbow with a nod to the door. you tried to dig your heels into the floor, but she guided you elsewhere. you allowed her to carry you forward.
“don’t take me to him,” you hiccuped, “please, genya.”
“no,” she refuted, “you’re not leaving it like this.”
“he did,” you whimpered, finally tugging your hand out of her grasp, “why shouldn’t i?”
“because you either have to let him keep your heart or make him give the other half back.” her words were even and carefully considered.
genya disregarded the royal guards. you followed behind her, sparing them a single glance. they settled back into place. you almost laughed. you had become such a permanent fixture of nikolai’s life that his guards relented to genya barging in because of your presence.
nikolai was slouched in a chair, appearing rather exhausted. his hair hung a mess over his eyes. you bit your lip at the sight of his leg bouncing restlessly.
genya sent him a look more threatening than you would have ever been able to accomplish in your current state. he caught himself before he could roll his eyes or argue, unwilling to sacrifice a member of the triumvirate. you supposed he could simply justify your loss as collateral damage.
your eyes trailed genya’s form until she departed entirely from your view. only then, did you dare take nikolai in fully. he looked about as awful as he had made you feel.
“you didn’t come after me,” you phrased your words as a question, begging him to answer.
he shifted, leaning back in his chair to look up at you, “i didn’t want to.” it left you looking down at him.
you breathed out in disbelief, shaking your head at his tone. he knew exactly what he was doing to you. you wanted to rip your heart away from him. maybe if you cut away the remaining strings, he would not be able to control you like he did now.
“what if i wanted you to?” your voice increased an octave, clattering against the walls as an echo.
a scoff left his mouth as he resigned to engage in the breakdown of another fight, “it wouldn’t have mattered. you wouldn’t have listened to me.” before you could respond, he spoke up again, “i don’t have to follow after you.”
you shifted your gaze to the glass of water on his desk. no matter the desperation building in your chest, you wanted to feel angry, instead. it was easier to manage. so, you lashed out at him. building the water pressure in the lone glass, you watched it shatter on his desk and saturate the paperwork.
“missed me,” he mumbled wearily.
feeling like a child, you stomped your foot and sent the water to splash against his face. it dripped past his lips—a sight you chose to ignore, lest it elicit a response rather inappropriate for the current circumstances. they caught in a smile as he laughed bitterly, bringing his hands across his mouth.
���i told you i would marry you,” nikolai pressed onward carelessly, running a hand through his hair as if to dismiss your actions, “certainly not my fault you said no, now is it?”
“because it sounded like something you’d resigned to accept! something that had to be done!” the words tore through your throat painfully, “it should be a privilege. it should be love.”
you detected the exact moment he comprehended the final line. he straightened and swallowed harshly. nikolai lantsov looked inexplicably afraid.
“it should be love?” he questioned quietly. now, he was angry and afraid. you knew it to be a fragile but dangerous combination.
“you assume marriage is enough for me,” your voice grew louder, daring him to fight, “marriage won’t make you love me again, nikolai lantsov.”
“you’re putting words in my mouth!” the fervor in his voice did not go unnoticed.
“someone has to,” a moment of silence passed, “you haven’t talked to me in weeks,” you clung to a whisper, “not really.”
you watched his eyes carry themselves across the room. you cursed your heart for hoping they would find land in you. they kept searching elsewhere, drifting further out to sea.
“again?” his voice was broken.
“what?” you questioned, clearing your throat as the sudden shame washed over you for barging in on the king.
“you said marriage wouldn’t make you love me again,” he dared a step closer, “have you stopped loving me?”
you took a trembling step back from him with your heart beating erratically inside your chest. you could not find the control to move your fingers, not even to curl them into reluctant fists. suddenly, everything felt heavy, and you did not want to carry the weight alone.
“i don’t know, nikolai,” you answered somewhat truthfully, unable to gather an honest answer.
“i suppose that’s fair,” he relented.
“i suppose it is,” you whispered with a frown.
you turned to leave after a moment, taking his soundless stance as an indication of retreat.
“you broke my heart,” nikolai realized aloud, hands deep in his pockets as he stared at you.
“yeah well,” he titled his head at you, “you broke mine first,” you spoke coldly, hardening yourself to ice against his warm body.
taking a step away from him, you gasped as his hand found your jaw. although his grip was firm, you refused to melt at his feet. you did not belong to the whim’s of nikolai lantsov’s heart any longer.
“i’m leaving you, nikolai,” you stuttered out as you backed away, gasping at the shiver in your chest enacted by his touch.
his jaw tightened, “you can’t.” his voice was a ghost of a severe whisper, and you knew it would haunt you forever.
“i have to,” you spoke clearly.
“i-,” he fumbled fervently for any semblance of conviction or persuasion, “you can’t leave me.” he had ran out of personas to pull you in with.
“i already have,” you granted him a final look out of pity before you left his room behind and with it, his wavering silhouette.
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helloalycia · 3 years
Text
secret relationship // wanda maximoff
summary: you're the daughter of the famous Black Widow, which comes with its own set of hurdles such as revealing to her that you're dating the newest Avenger that she also happens to be mentoring – Wanda Maximoff. What could go wrong?
warning/s: minor (implied) violence and injury
author's note: okay so the request was the reader is Natasha's daughter and is struggling to tell Natasha that she's dating Wanda. All I know is I got excited (as usual) and this happened so yeah, enjoy! Also, Wanda’s age is always a mystery to me since it’s interpreted differently with everyone, so I tried my best to explain the age gap between you and natasha so things made sense.
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"Did you know red onion and red cabbage is called 'red' instead of 'purple' because back in the old days, they didn't have enough words for colours so anything purple was defined as red?"
"The mission, Y/N," my mum, Natasha Romanoff, AKA Black Widow, scolded.
I sighed, my attention still focused on my surroundings and my gun directed ahead. "I know, I know. But did you know that the most common internet password is '123456'?"
"Y/N," Wanda, my girlfriend and teammate said with a laugh. "Stop it."
"Yeah, please, quit it," my mum added with an eye roll.
I smiled at Wanda, admiring how beautiful she looked when she hid her laugh. My mum wasn't aware we were dating, so I settled for sending her a playful wink before looking ahead.
I knew I had to focus on the mission – scouting out this abandoned HYDRA den – but it was boring. And it was obviously empty of any threats, so talking was my only pastime.
"Did you know the inventor of Pringles is buried in a Pringles can?" I said after a moment of silence, making my mum stop walking abruptly.
"Okay, you know what? New plan," she said, looking between Wanda and I. "Everyone split up. Take a look around. Stay alert. Keep in contact. Sound good?"
I quirked a brow. "You trying to get rid of me?"
She narrowed her eyes my way. "Yes."
I frowned, making Wanda crack a smile and nudge me in the shoulder.
"You need to learn to have an off button sometimes," she joked, her Sokovian accent shining through despite the voice lessons my mum was giving her. Honestly, I preferred her Sokovian accent to her American one.
"You love it," I teased, giving her a knowing smile, my mother completely unaware of the double meaning.
"Just do as I said," my mum said, already shooing me away. "Wanda, you know what to do. If you see or hear anything suspicious, use your comms."
"Yes, Miss Romanoff," Wanda said obediently, and I tried so hard to hold in laughter at her seriousness. I mean, it was great that she was respectful of my mother and her mentor, but God it was funny to witness.
"Once again, Wanda, you can just call me Nat," my mum said with a wince, trying to be polite. "Go on."
Wanda nodded and walked off, her gun raised as she'd practiced. I grinned at my mum, noticing the way she massaged her temple with mild agitation before her gaze fell to mine.
"Go. Now." She pointed behind me, and I stifled a laugh.
"Bet you love babysitting duty," I joked.
"It's not babysitting if I'm your mother," she pointed out. "Though sometimes, you make me regret not picking the baby instead of you."
"That baby would have been six years old now," I informed her. "If anything, I spared you the whole diaper thing and the outgrowing clothes thing and the– oh yeah! Not being able to speak thing!"
"At least they wouldn't be annoying me with stupid facts," she retorted, hand on her hip. "Now be a good agent and do your job."
I rolled my eyes playfully, knowing she was kidding. Whenever I annoyed her, she'd bring up the story of how it was between twelve year old me and a six-month old baby at the adoption centre. She was worried I'd view her as an older sister or something, hence her choice of adopting the baby instead. But I never did, as she was always way more mature than any twenty-seven year old I'd met or seen at the time. And maybe, I guess, I was really desperate to have a motherly figure, and she just happened to fit the bill.
"Aye, aye, Miss Romanoff," I saluted, making her raise an eyebrow threateningly. "Okay, geez, I'm going."
I wandered off, exploring the dishevelled HYDRA den with full focus. The brief clearly stated it was an abandoned site, but I stayed on alert anyway in case there were stragglers. As usual, I only got given half the facts because of my clearance level, so I knew we were looking for a hard drive, but I had no idea what was on it.
Being a seventeen year old working in S.H.I.E.L.D. wasn't exactly how I saw my life going when I grew up in an orphanage. I honestly never thought I'd get adopted, as rumours spread quite quickly through the orphanage that once you hit double digits, nobody wanted you. So, when the beautiful, red-headed Natasha Romanoff came in, looking for an addition to her family, I felt like the luckiest kid in the world because she chose me of all the kids there.
I definitely didn't expect her to be the Black Widow, nor to teach me everything she knew about espionage, stealth, hand-to-hand combat and much more. She ensured I was multi-lingual like her, preparing me for the many S.H.I.E.L.D. missions I would have to go on. There were times when I absolutely despised her, particularly when she overtrained me or stopped me from seeing my friends. And there were times when I wished she'd never adopted me, hating that I couldn't have a normal teenage experience.
But when it came down to it, I knew I couldn't have asked for a more caring, considerate and compassionate mother. I learnt early on into our relationship that she was unable to have kids of her own, hence her interest in adoption. And honestly speaking? That was probably the worst thing in the world because if anybody deserved a child of their own, it was Natasha Romanoff. I guess, in that sense, I was lucky to have all of her love to myself.
Now that I was older, I came to appreciate how awesome she was, especially when we got to go on missions together and I saw her awesomeness upfront. The only thing was, she was extremely overprotective, so it was difficult to get sent on the dangerous missions. Though, I guess, whenever I did, she was always there to have my back and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
Her overprotectiveness was also a reason why she didn't know about Wanda and I's relationship. Wanda had joined the Avengers a year ago after losing her brother in the battle against Ultron. She was a year older than me, so naturally we were drawn to each other, and before I knew it, our friendship became more. But of course, my mother could never know that. At least not yet.
"Empty here," I mumbled, rounding a corner into an empty room. As I looked through the rubbish on the desk, I continued, "Empty here... and here... and oh, look, here, too. What a surprise!"
"Y/N, I love you, but God help me I will kill you if you don't turn your damn mic off," my mother's voice came through my comms piece in my ear.
For once, I wasn't trying to piss her off, so I smiled sheepishly to myself and replied, "Sorry. Love you."
I could imagine the eye roll she was giving me in response, so continued to look around for the hard drive I saw on the brief. Still, there was nothing here.
My searching was interrupted when I heard a loud crash from a nearby room, like the sound of bricks tumbling against one another. I spun around, eyes widening with concern.
"Y/N? Wanda? What happened?" my mum's voice came through my ear, slightly reassuring me as it wasn't her who was caught up in anything. But then that meant–
"Wanda! What happened?" I replied worriedly, already rushing out of the room and to the source of the sound.
"I'm okay," Wanda's shaky voice came through my ear, which did nothing to ease my concern.
I found the room Wanda was in quite quickly, seeing her sat on the floor as if she'd been pushed. She had a deep cut on her forehead and looked visibly distressed. Running to her side, I kneeled down beside her and cupped her face, studying her head.
"Oh my God, are you okay?" The words tumbled from my mouth so quickly I wasn't sure if it was understandable.
She nodded slowly, accepting my hand and holding it for reassurance. I followed her gaze, seeing a hole in the wall ahead, bricks crumbling and dust beginning to settle. Laying on the floor through the hole and into the next room was a HYDRA soldier, clearly dead from the impact of hitting the bricks.
Wanda's power was magnificent, but hard to control. A year later and she was still learning its limits, but sometimes slip-ups like this happened. I was, admittedly, in awe of her actions.
"I'm sorry, I should have kept him alive like Miss Ro– Nat said," Wanda apologised suddenly, and I looked back at her to see her shaking her head. "He just– he startled me and I didn't know what I was doing until it happened. I thought–"
"Don't apologise," I cut her off, squeezing her hand gently, before looking back to the cut on her forehead. "I'm just glad you're okay. You did good."
Despite my words, I bit my lower lip to contain a frown, worried about her cut.
"Damn."
Wanda and I both turned to the doorway to see my mum, who stopped and took in the sight of the hole in the wall with partial surprise and partial amazement.
"Mum, we need to get her back to the quinjet," I said, pulling her attention away from the wall. She approached me as I said, "She needs medical assistance."
I didn't let go of Wanda's hand as I moved to the side for my mum to take a look. Gently guiding Wanda's chin to the side, she took a closer look at the gash on her forehead, expression showing nothing as usual.
"You'll be okay, honey," she reassured, letting go. Her eyes drifted to our connected hands briefly, but I figured she wouldn't piece anything together, so I didn't let go. She continued, "Let's get out of here. There's no hard drive anyway."
Wanda nodded and my mum and I helped her to stand up, me still not letting go of her hand.
"The hard drive is on him," Wanda spoke suddenly, nodding to the dead HYDRA agent. "I heard his thoughts before I– yeah."
My mum raised her brows with surprise. "Oh. Perfect. Y/N get the drive and let's go."
I pursed my lips, glancing at Wanda with concerned eyes. She gave me a small, reassuring smile, squeezing my hand subtly before letting go.
"Right, yeah," I said, swallowing hard.
I looked back to my mum, who seemed to be studying my expression, so I cleared my throat and left to get the drive. When I retrieved it, I jogged after Wanda and my mum, checking in on her with a small smile, before leading the way to the quinjet.
When we boarded the plane, I hung around Wanda and my mum as she helped the brunette to take a seat in the back. I noticed Wanda's momentary dizziness as she sat down and felt my chest tighten.
"Hey, you okay?" I asked, kneeling before her as my mum got the first aid kit.
Wanda gave me an endearing smile as I swiped at the blood dripping down her forehead.
"I'll be alright," she said, holding my gaze with comforting green eyes before they flickered to behind me.
"Okay, Y/N, stop hanging about and start the plane whilst I stitch Wanda up," my mum said, appearing from behind me and kneeling beside me.
I nodded, glancing between the needle, thread and disinfectant in her hands and Wanda's head. Reluctantly, I got up and left them both to it as I started up the plane and got us in the air. Once we were in the clear, I flicked on autopilot before heading back to Wanda and my mum to see how things were going.
"We'll have someone look at it properly when we get back to the tower," my mum was saying to Wanda, who was now stitched up and wearing a small bandage, "but it'll hold up for now." With a playful smile, she added, "You're not dying on me just yet."
Wanda cracked a smile and whilst I appreciated how lovely it was to see their closeness in a way I never usually saw, I was still troubled by her injury. Logically, I knew she'd be okay, but it never felt good to see her injured.
"Plane is on autopilot," I announced, making my presence known. My eyes never left Wanda's bandage as I asked, "Everything okay here?"
"You need to calm down," my mum joked, making me look her way. "It's not that serious. Just some stitches."
I smiled awkwardly, but I knew it was much more than that.
"Yeah, relax, it's not a big deal," Wanda added playfully.
Her eyes met mine and I knew she was communicating the same thing through her gaze, holding a seriousness that wasn't able to be shared verbally because of my mum's presence. I tilted my head, giving her a knowing look; she knew I was aware of how big a deal it was. All I wanted to do was give her a hug and kiss and not leave her side until she felt better. And she knew that.
"I'm gonna go fly the plane," my mum said suddenly, and I almost forgot she was standing there until she spoke up. "We'll get back to base quicker..."
I glanced at her, mildly confused at her sudden change of expression. She headed to the front of the quinjet, leaving Wanda and I alone.
"Seriously though, you should relax," Wanda said, sounding like she did when it was just her and I and nobody else. She had an amused smile on her lips as she watched me worry. "I'm fine. All stitched up."
I licked my lips, sulking, as I dragged myself over to the seat beside her. She laced our fingers together, pressing a kiss to the top of my hand before facing me with an easygoing smile.
"I'm fine," she repeated gently, lovingly, sweetly.
I offered her a small smile, before leaning forward to press a kiss to her bandage. "I know. Just don't worry me like that. Especially in front of my mum. I can't take it."
"It's cute," she noted, amusement returning. "It means a lot to know someone cares."
My shoulders relaxed. "I care too much. So, please don't test that."
She laughed and I felt my heart flutter in my chest, never getting used to the sound.
"I promise not to," she said, looking up at me through her lashes.
I leaned my head on her shoulder and kept ahold of her hand, staying with her until we arrived back at base. My mum flew us the whole way back, only coming to get us once we landed. I knew I should have left Wanda's side as to not raise suspicion with my mum, but I couldn't find it in myself to do so. I just hoped she would interpret it as two concerned friends rather than her daughter having a secret girlfriend.
"You should head to the medical wing to get checked out properly," my mum said once we were back at the tower, looking to Wanda.
"Yeah," I agreed a little too eagerly. "I'll go with you."
My mum gave me a curious look. "I mean, that's not necessary."
Wanda must have sensed my eagerness, as she said, "I'd appreciate the company, actually. I don't mind."
She shot me a subtle smile, eyes bright with reassurance.
"I'm happy to accompany you, Wanda," my mum offered, and I felt my mouth go dry.
"It's okay, mum," I said suddenly, making her look to me with pursed lips. "You can go debrief and I'll make sure Wanda is cool with everything."
Glancing between us, my mum finally nodded. "I see. I guess I'll see you both later then." She paused, looking between us once more, before adding, "You did good today. Both of you."
I looked down to my shoes as Wanda shot her a grateful smile. She walked away, leaving us be, and I immediately intertwined my fingers with Wanda's as the two of us headed to the medical wing.
"You may as well write desperate on your forehead," she teased with a beautiful smile.
"So funny," I said sarcastically, though a smile of my own was present. "Let's just get you checked out."
"If it means you'll stop pouting, then sure."
"Real jokester you are. Hilarious, honestly."
Her laughter surrounded me like a warm hug and I could have listened to it forever.
Since our mission together, I noticed the distance my mum was putting between her and I, and I had no idea why. I thought I was overthinking it and seeing things that weren't there, so I didn't follow up with it until one evening.
It was a rare occurrence for all of the Avengers to be at the tower at once, so when they were, we'd all have a 'family' dinner for some normalcy. Only, this time, I noticed how strange my mum was acting whenever I spoke to her. She'd either act super dismissive or give one word answers to my questions – once again, I wasn't sure if I was seeing things.
After dinner, everyone went their separate ways and Wanda and I stayed in the living-area to watch some TV. Though it was playing, the volume was lowered and neither of us were watching it. We were just talking about random stuff and enjoying each other's company.
"Okay, how about this one?" I said to Wanda, turning so I was facing her, a grin on my lips. "What did the clock do when it was hungry?"
As with all of my other attempts at making Wanda laugh, she stared at me with an amused smile and a quirked brow.
"Say it...," I encouraged, motioning for her to speak with my hand.
She sighed. "Okay, what did the clock do when it was hungry?" Mumbling, she added, "Even though clocks don't eat..."
I slapped her leg playfully. "Sshhh, you'll ruin the joke. And the answer is, they go back four seconds!"
Wanda didn't laugh, but she seemed entertained as she hid a smile. "Seriously?"
"Because of the number 'four' and the word 'for'," I explained. "C'mon, that's a good one!"
"D'you think you're funny?" she asked, eyeing me playfully. "Because you're not."
I shrugged, playing it off like I wasn't fussed. "I mean, I don't know about that... how about now?"
Before she could question me, I moved forward and began to tickle her sides, watching as she squirmed with laughter.
"Stop it!" she shouted, but her smile was as wide as ever as she was unable to stifle her laughter. "P-please! Y/N!"
"But you said I wasn't funny!" I retorted with a grin, practically straddling her as she attempted to push me off her. "I'm just checking if you still think that!"
Wanda was crying now, tears escaping the corners of her eyes as she continued to laugh. "I'm s-sorry! Y/N, stop!"
Before I could think how to respond, the doors to the living-area opened and in walked Steve Rogers AKA Captain America, a confused expression on his face as he saw me sat on Wanda.
"Hey, ladies," he greeted, raising an eyebrow. "You both good?"
I pulled my hands away from Wanda and breathed out, still smiling as I glanced down at her. She blew a strand of hair from her eyes and glared at me playfully.
"Yeah, just talking," I answered Steve, before being thrown off Wanda and to the floor with a thud.
"Just Y/N harassing me as usual," Wanda corrected, and I sat up to see her sitting up, too, fixing her hair.
Steve chuckled as he headed to the fridge in the connected kitchen. Wanda helped me back onto the couch, nudging me in the side as a response to the tickle fest, before leaning on me and stretching her legs across the couch.
"So, hey, what's up with you and your mum?" Steve asked as I continued to annoy Wanda by flicking her face.
"What do you mean?" I asked, not looking up as I grinned down at Wanda, watching as her eyes glowed red threateningly.
"Don't make me hurt you," she said teasingly, lifting a hand and summoning her powers, red wisps of energy becoming present.
I stopped flicking her and intertwined her hand in mine, watching as her eyes faded to its usual colour.
"She just seemed distant at dinner," Steve continued.
I looked up and saw he was leaning against the counter with a water bottle in his hand. Wanda continued to stretch, practically on top of me, probably to annoy me as I had been doing with her. I moved her hands out of my face as I nodded to Steve.
"So, you saw it too? She was being off, right?" I asked him, glad I wasn't just imagining things.
He nodded, gulping his water, before saying casually, "Definitely. What did you do? Finally tell her about you and Wanda?"
It took me a second to realise what he'd said, but when I did, my eyes widened and I spluttered out a terrible response. "What– what about Wanda and I?"
I glanced at Wanda as she began to sit up properly. She looked more confused than panicked.
"You know, that you're together," Steve said like it was obvious.
I cleared my throat. "What? Why would you think that?"
Steve smiled with confusion. "Wait, so you're not? But I thought–" He paused, pulling a face. "No, you are! Everybody thinks you are!"
I shrugged it off, though inside I was panicking. "I mean, even if that was the case, why do you think my mum knows?"
Steve nodded knowingly. "She's been off with you all night. And then I caught up with her after dinner and she wasn't in a very talkative mood. Just mumbled something like 'new girl, her age, pretty, nice, should have seen it coming'. I assumed she was talking about Wanda."
Heat crept up my neck with embarrassment and when I looked to Wanda, I saw her cheeks dusting a red colour, similar to the energy she could summon. She looked as flustered as I felt.
"Has your mum been okay with you before today?" Steve asked, trying to be helpful.
I chewed on my lower lip and shook my head. "Not since we got back from our last mission..."
Steve scrunched his face with sympathy. "Oof. You should probably talk to her then. You know how much she hates secrets."
I groaned internally. "Thanks for the reminder."
He saluted playfully, his stupid smile on his stupid face, before leaving Wanda and I alone again.
"Well, looks like she knows," I said to Wanda, sinking into the couch with hopes it would swallow me forever.
"She might not," Wanda tried to make me feel better, resting a hand on my leg. "It could be something else."
I gave her a knowing look. "She has to know. It's the only thing that makes sense. You heard Steve."
Wanda sighed, sinking into the couch beside me. "Yeah..." She glanced at me and I looked at her as she said, "I did tell you to tell her."
I forced a smile. "Gee, Wanda, that was helpful. Thanks."
Wanda rolled her eyes before leaning her head on my shoulder. "Sorry..."
I rested my hand on hers. "It's okay, sorry. I just– she's gonna be really mad that I kept this from her."
"Yeah, why did you do that again?" Wanda asked questioningly.
I massaged the tension between my eyebrows. "Because she's too overprotective. It gets too much to handle sometimes... Take my last boyfriend for example. He was some tool that cheated on me and, oh boy, my mum wanted to kill him. I had to physically restrain her from doing so."
"I don't blame her," Wanda quipped, a hint of bitterness in her voice.
I smiled a little, squeezing her hand. "I know... she ended up slashing his tyres and egging his car without telling me. But instead of egging the outside, she broke into it and egged the inside. A thoughtful take on a classic, I must admit."
Wanda laughed, her whole body shaking with pure amusement as she listened to the story. I couldn't help but smile myself, remembering it like it was yesterday. Definitely a fun time.
"I appreciated it, don't get me wrong," I added, smile fading. "I just didn't want that to happen again. I wanted to enjoy our relationship without anyone spying on us, y'know? But now she's gonna be super angry."
Wanda let go of my hand and rolled on top of me, leaning down on my chest so she could look me in the eyes. I wrapped my arms loosely around her to keep her steady.
"She only wants the best for you," Wanda told me gently. "You have to tell her you're sorry. Explain why you did what you did, but hear her out, too. She's your mum. Caring too much isn't a bad thing."
I groaned, knowing she was right. She smiled reassuringly, patting my chest.
"You get the caring too much thing from her by the way," she added, before leaning forward and pressing a haste kiss to my lips. "It's okay though because I love it."
I smiled, never really seeing it like that. Raising my hand, I brushed my thumb over the small bandage on her head; her injury was still healing, but she didn't let it bother her. Very Wanda-like.
"Thanks," I mumbled, meeting her gaze. "You always say the right thing."
"Which is why I'm going to tell you to get up and go to your mum," she ordered playfully, pushing herself off me and holding out her hand.
I let her pull me up before straightening up and taking a deep breath. Wanda was right. I just needed to be open and explain my piece. It would be fine.
So, it wasn't fine.
When I entered my mum's living quarters, she wasn't the happiest to see me. In fact, she actively turned her body to face her TV when I came through the door.
"Hey," I started with a small smile, fighting the nerves in my stomach. "Can we, er, can we talk?"
She grabbed the cushion on the couch next to her, hugging it to her chest. Her eyes didn't leave the TV, but the space next to her was free, so I took that as an opportunity to close the door and sit beside her.
The news was playing on the TV – headlines, I think – and they were talking about a new elected congressman in New York.
"Seriously? The news? Even in your free time?" I asked playfully, hoping it would lighten the mood.
She didn't even glance my way as she muttered, "I like to know what's happening in the world."
Losing my smile, I straightened up and cleared my throat. "Right, right..."
It went quiet as the TV played in the background and my mum said absolutely nothing. I grabbed the other cushion on the couch and hugged it to my chest, similar to her. It was a nervous habit that I picked up from, well, from her.
"You said you wanted to talk?" she reminded me. "So, talk."
Having the Black Widow as your mother wasn't something anyone could get used to. She could be the most caring, loving, protective person in the world, but she could also appear quiet, intimidating and ruthless like the trained assassin she was. Not the greatest combination when trying to open up to her.
"I think I know what you're thinking," I started, pinching my hand to distract from my growing anxiety.
Without hesitation, she bent forward to grab the TV remote and turned it off before turning to me with sad eyes.
"That's where you're wrong," she said calmly, and it was way worse than her yelling. I would have preferred her yelling to be honest. The disappointment in her voice was much worse. "You always assume you know what I'm thinking. What I'm going to say or do."
I avoided her eyes guiltily. "Mum, look, I know that I should have told you the truth. And I know how angry you are, but–"
"I'm not angry, Y/N!" she shouted, finally, standing up off the couch and creating space between us.
I winced. "You sound angry."
She put her hands on her hips, looking down to her feet and taking a breath. Her voice at normal volume, she said, "I'm upset. You– you didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth. Instead, I had to put it together when you acted how you did with Wanda after that mission and..." She paused, sighing. "Forget it."
"No, keep going," I pleaded, the guilt piercing through me sharply. "You're right."
She swallowed hard, glancing at me with glassy eyes. "I wouldn't have done anything. I know I have in the past, but this is Wanda we're talking about. I've been her mentor for a year. I care about her and– and– she's good. And she's good for you."
Okay, I definitely misread this whole thing because now my mum was upset, on the verge of tears, and I was the arsehole responsible for it.
"I'm so sorry," I said, standing up and moving forward to hold her arms. "I should have trusted you. I mean, it wasn't even about trust. I was just scared you'd react badly. But it wrong of me to assume that."
She frowned, looking down to her shoes. "I know I can be tough sometimes, but it's only because I care."
I thought back to Wanda's words and gave her a small smile. "I know. I get it from you."
"I am happy for you, you know," she said, glancing at me petulantly.
My expression softened. "Thank you. That means a lot coming from you."
Without another word, she pulled me in for a motherly hug, making me close my eyes and relax in her arms. I still felt horrible for making her feel like I couldn't trust her when it was anything but that.
"I'm sorry," I repeated quietly into her shoulder.
"I forgive you," she said, before pulling away and giving me a small smile. "Now tell me. You're happy?"
The thought of being with Wanda gave me butterflies and I couldn't help but smile in response. With a nod, I said, "I am."
She nodded, squeezing my shoulders gently before fully letting go. "Good. I'm glad you've got her... I know you can take care of yourself, but she's strong, too. She can look out for you when I'm not around anymore."
I shoved her in the shoulder. "Don't joke about that. She isn't replacing you and you're not going anywhere, you hear me?"
She laughed, nodding. "Not yet anyway. But sure, okay."
I relaxed and gave her a nervous smile. "So, you wanna meet Wanda? Like, as my girlfriend and not your student?"
She rolled her eyes playfully. "If I must."
I smiled widely, grabbing her hand and leading her to the door. "She loves you a lot, y'know. She wanted me to tell you about us as soon as we got together. She hated lying to you."
"Yeah because she knows that lying is wrong," she teased me, making me groan loudly. With a chuckle, she added, "I love her, too. She's definitely something."
"Hell yeah she is," I said in agreement, grinning to my mum as I dragged her to the living-area where I last left Wanda.
On the way, we passed Steve in the hall, who took notice of the smiles on our faces and nodded knowingly.
"Glad to see you worked it out," he said supportively.
"Thanks for the heads up," I told him gratefully as we passed him.
When we reached the living-area, I saw Wanda sat on the couch watching TV. When she saw who entered, she straightened up instantly, moving to stand and unsure what else to say or do. It was cute, the respect she had for my mum.
"Did you– I– She told you?" she stumbled over her words, starting to speak to me but eventually looking to my mum.
My mum glanced at me before meeting Wanda's nervous eyes. "She did."
Wanda licked her lips anxiously. "And you're okay with it...? Angry...? Wanna kill me...?"
I watched my mum, nodding encouragingly to her. She sighed before giving Wanda a small smile.
"No killing will be necessary," she reassured my girlfriend. "Unless, of course, you break my daughter's heart. Then in which case, I may have to find you when you're sleeping."
"Mum!" I complained, face falling into my hands with embarrassment.
"I'm just being truthful," my mum said with seriousness, before looking to Wanda expectantly.
Wanda surprisingly took it well, probably used to my mum's personality after training with her for a year. "I understand completely, Nat and I'll hold you to that. I have no intention of breaking Y/N's heart."
A rare, genuine smile appeared on my mother's lips. "I know you don't. Just–" She paused, glancing at me. "Keep her safe, yeah? She's a bit stupid sometimes."
Wanda laughed as my mum smiled with amusement, like it was an inside joke.
"Right here, you know," I reminded them with a wave of my hand.
They only rolled their eyes.
"I will," Wanda promised my mum. "Thank you for being okay with this."
My mum nodded, giving us both a final smile and once over, before saying, "I'll leave you to it. Goodnight."
Wanda and I bid our goodnights, watching her leave before a giant sigh of relief escaped our lips.
"You feel better?" Wanda asked me, grabbing my hand and tugging me to the couch.
She let me fall on her chest easily, snuggling up to her as she wrapped an arm around me and held me close. I inhaled her perfume, a familiar and comforting scent, as my head rested in the crook of her neck.
"I feel better," I answered, closing my eyes and letting her intertwine our fingers.
"I believe this is the part where you say I was right," she prompted, a hint of amusement in her words.
"Don't make me hurt you," I mumbled, making her laugh quietly beneath me.
"You're lucky I love you," she said, kissing the top of my head. "I guess opposites do attract. You're the stupid one and I'm the clever one."
"Wanda?"
"Yeah?"
"Fuck off."
She laughed again, and even though it was at me, I couldn't help the content smile from spreading on my lips.
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littlefreya · 3 years
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Easy Prey
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Summary: Direct sequel to Jerk. Ring or not, August promised himself that he will make you his, in whatever mean possible and he kept that promise. 
Pairing: August Walker x Reader (2nd person pov)
Word count: 1.6K
Warnings: 18+, dark, kidnapping, bondage, dubious consent, teasing, dirty talk, gunplay (yeah add this to the list of kinks I gave you), sweet degradation and praise.
A/N: You thought August is going to sweet talk this one, didn’t you? Surprise! This was a short drabble brought by a prompt, turned into a one-shot and then my beta @agniavateira suggested this as a sequel to Jerk before I posted. Since most of you may be in a thanksgiving dinner tomorrow, enjoy my own early b-day gift to you! Many thanks to @wondersofdreaming and @sapphirescrolls who convinced me to post this. 
Please comment and reblog if you enjoyed. Your feedback is my fuel. 🖤
Easy Prey
August Walker lived his life swinging between the two sharp edges of a sword; but then, how could he not? He had to maintain a handsome prime-alpha male reputation while hiding his true cruel nature masked beneath mist and shadows.
It took everyone by surprise once it was revealed that the slick, charming agent was a vicious, Armani-wearing monster. A hard-to-swallow pill for most, but these two diverse entities were always one and the same: 
August Walker was John Lark the way darkness followed light. 
And how unfortunate it was of you to be lured into the spider’s web, stunned by the beauty of the pearly silk; you’ve gotten too close and had your limbs caught in the sticky threads. Now captured, you’ve earned yourself a taste of August’s sweet toxin yourself. 
Fear wasn’t even close to the sensation that was gnawing in your gut.
The suite was cosy; a sleepy fire crackled in the mantle, shy beams of maple light kissed your bare breasts while you laid upon the softest pillows. It felt like a sinister joke compared to the ropes charring the supple flesh of your wrists. August had you stripped of any remnants of protection of course, save for the little jewellery circling your finger which he eyed with a blank stare that screamed in its contained silence.
Fully clothed, he stood at the fore of the bed, wearing a blue three-piece suit as if he was attending a royal wedding. A magnum was clutched in his right hand and a dagger in the other. The calmness and elegance of his appearance only made you arch and grunt in your fruitless attempts to set yourself free.
“Ropes too tight, angel?” He hummed, his voice so pleasant it felt like your lungs were floating in a void. His crystal-pale gaze dawdled upon you, invading beneath the skin, penetrating the warm crease between your legs which you fought to keep shut. 
He felt it, or maybe even smelled the arousal that wafted at his direction and chanted his name.
“I’d save my strength if I were you. We’ve already proven that no one can hear your screams and we have a long night ahead of us.”
His words covered the bones of your spine with a thick layer of frost and in your searing throat, a bitter substance reemerged. Screwing your eyes shut, you wished more than anything for this to be a nightmare; but every time the binds twisted about your hands, you remembered the dreadful meaning behind the pain. 
It was there to remind you of the harsh slap that was reality.  
August tilted his head, a smile beginning to spread from each corner of his mouth: all pleasant and  charming as if this was nothing but a couple’s naughty getaway. 
“You can’t wake up from this, this is not a dream… or a nightmare, depends on your disobedience,” he assured, boding a sudden hollow in your chest. “Now, which one do you prefer? The knife or the gun?”
“Fuck you!” 
Defiant, you gathered yourself to scream a trembling cry, sending your legs to kick the mattress in a hopeless fight. Only it made things worse as August was able to spot the little dew-kissed orchid between your legs, glistening-wet with invitation. 
Flicking a tongue over his upper lip, he crept close. His broad shoulders strained, his posture that of an elegant predator; as you saw the large outlines of his heavy cock stretching his navy-blue trousers, even hatred and horror couldn’t mask the pang of need that shot through your core.
Despite the panic, the traitorous instinct of life whispered of undisclosed, primal lust. You wished so badly you could fight or hide it, but alas there was no hiding from August. He could sense it, see it, and even taste it on his wicked tongue. 
“Gun then,” he answered and slid the knife back into the holster in his belt.
Your breath hitched as the mattress dipped beneath his weight, and you watched paralysed as he aimed the gun between your legs. Strong tremors coursed along your skin and your knees buckled and wobbled as the cold metal touched you; and yet, in that very moment, you did the impossible and moaned.
“Has it been that long since you had a dick inside you?” August observed with a vicious grin crisping his lips. It made his moustache twitch almost comically. 
“Don’t worry sweet angel, we’ll fix that soon.”
Pushing the gun between your kneecaps, he forced them open and ran the barrel feverishly down your inner thighs. The metal was freezing against your flesh, eliciting little tingles to spiral beneath the tender brush. Gasping, you looked away from him ashamed. You were terrified, not just of him, but from how much the wanton centre of your sex clenched from his ministrations.
You were bound and kidnapped by a dangerous man, and yet in your mind played the sick fantasies of him unbuckling his belt and giving you his full girth hard and wild. 
“You will soon have me in every hole,” August continued with a promise on his honeyed lips while lowering the brim of the weapon perilously close to your radiating heat and toying with the sensitive area teasingly. “I will make it hurt real bad, you’ll feel me there for days if not more,” he hummed and swerved the barrel between your engorged lips. 
“Please!” You gasped and writhed away slightly, tugging on the binds that began chafing your delicate skin. August raised his glare to meet your pleading eyes and leaned forward, his shadow looming over you entirely. Reaching one hand to your nape, he clutched you forcefully while his icy glare pierced right through your skull.
Slow and sensual he began to run the gun between your soft petals, gingerly grazing the hard shaft at the plump peak of flesh that made you cry out with both pleasure and despair. 
“Aww...” He keened and groaned. Never stopping his coaxing of your cunt with the still object, his breath huffed hot upon your cheek as he rounded his beautiful lips in faux pity. “Poor helpless little butterfly.”
Crying and dazed, you stared directly into his eyes. Words of plea kept running caged inside your head, unable to make their way out while you watched August’s large shoulder move back and forth. The movement resulting in the unwanted pleasure. Back and forth, he stroked you, gradually increasing the pace, and not without style even. Ruthless, August was keen on making you come.
You weren’t even sure what it was that you begged for at that point.
Grunts and sobs escaped your throat unwillingly. You squirmed and pushed against it, your body craving for more: not just for the rough friction that tingled at your cunt but also at the large bulge visible at his groin. The more rapture began to creep through your flowing tendons, the further you sank into delirium, wondering how he would feel like buried deep between your tight walls, fucking you the way only someone who has no boundaries would.
“Fuck!” You screamed, grinding against the metal while August leaned even closer and kissed the corner of your mouth before groaning and moaning at your lips. His hand worked hard between your thighs, the cold barrel now warm, the hollow edge coated with your elixir. 
The wall of your protests crumbled as the simmering surge of climax began pushing itself down your belly, leaving you teetering between self-loathing and ecstasy. 
“That’s right my beautiful butterfly, I’ll pluck your wings,” August promised in a husky whisper, watching you as you coiled and cried louder, your walls convulsing tightly around a sad, empty space as you came. If only you didn’t wish it was August choked between them instead.
As you slumped down, sweaty and breathless, he drawled a growl of content and slowly withdrew the gun to hold it next to your shivering face.
“I swear, Sloan’s assistants keep getting sluttier every year; the last one I fucked had a thing for me choking her,” he mocked while grazing the wet barrel against your cheek, “do you think you’d be into that too, sweetling? My hand around your throat?”  
Rounding your eyes in utter fear, you swallowed the dryness in your throat. August sighed with a malicious little grin while twisted awe danced between the blue, sparkling sapphires that examined you ecstatically, so fascinated by how easily he managed to break and bend you to his will.
Still holding the neck of the gun pressed next to your cheek, he reached the other hand above your head. A part of you was relieved for a moment, thinking he was about to untie the bind. 
But your hope quickly died as you felt his fingers rolling the ring that decorated your finger.
The diamond reflected onto the deep blue of his eyes as he examined it closely before throwing it directly into the fireplace.
“No!” You cried out brokenly, as the last memory of your old life disappeared in flames.
“Save your tears beautiful,” August retorted, his voice once again so soft it chilled your very core. He shifted his entire weight between your straddled thighs, and leaned in to kiss the wetness below your eye, “you won’t be needing it anymore.”
His tongue slipped out to collect the briny liquid that gathered on your cheek, and another hum of delight rumbled in his chest as his covered cock unmistakably ground against your mound, “I am your man from now on, might as well accept it and let me do whatever I want.”
Shivering under him, you took a deep breath, your body already swaying in demand as you felt him throbbing beneath the soft fabric of his pants. To your own horror, your head fell into a slow nod of shameful consent. 
It wasn’t just August you were afraid of, but also for yourself.    
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blushing-titan · 3 years
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Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about chapter 138 again, and I came to a few conclusions. First and foremost, I’m surprised at the amount of Mikasa’s fans who are happy about the possibility of the cabin vision being an actual AU. Mikasa has been one of my favorite characters pretty much since the beginning, but I feel like - if the AU is real - it’s a huge step back for her progress and general well-being. Let me explain my point below - warning, it’s pretty long! I’ll be using manga panels (I obviously don’t own them, all credits go to the author!), and there will be spoilers.
My perspective on Eremika
I’m a firm believer that Eren and Mikasa’s relationship is a bit too unhealthy for Mikasa, at least in it’s current state - to me, it’s clear as a day that it’s way too unbalanced. Mikasa just invests more in it - it’s been shown countless times, both in the manga and anime, that Eren’s safety and well-being is her top priority. He’s on her mind most of the times and she constantly wants to be near him - she thinks of him as her safe place and home.
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But what about Eren? He’s often irritated and suffocated by her overprotectiveness. He’s quite a proud person who doesn’t want to be constantly saved - despite generally needing it sometimes. In my eyes, it’s another imbalance - Eren wants to be the strong one, but since Mikasa is just naturally better at that, he constantly feels belittled, like it’s a form of rivalry.
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On top of that, throught the entire series Eren has his own set of dreams and goals that doesn’t necessarily always revolve around Mikasa - all while Mikasa makes up her plans and goals solely around Eren. She even admits that all she wants is just to be at his side.
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What concerns me too, however, is that Mikasa often puts Eren’s safety and well-being over her own - and it’s something that she realizes. 
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Sometimes, Mikasa’s friends act as a voice of reason, but when someone tries to raise any objections or concerns against Eren, she usually backs him up or tries to rationalize his actions. In the example below, Jean is concerned about the scar that Mikasa got after she got attacked by Eren (right after Eren lost control over his titan in chapter 12).
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On top of that, Mikasa can be very passive, and even uncritical when it comes to Eren’s more questionable actions. There are times in which the latter can get a bit too blunt, or even straight up mean, but Mikasa either protects him, tries to justify his actions or is literally immobilized by them - like in the scene in which Eren insults her and proceeds to fight Armin, who’s been trying to back her up. Notice how Mikasa is unable to stop Eren from continuously attacking Armin (when, a reminder, the latter one stood up for her), but immediately jumps in to stop Armin from attacking Eren. You can clearly see that even she is shocked by her reaction.
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We can also see her being in denial about Eren’s hurtful actions later on. She doesn’t even want to talk about it when Jean brings it up:
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She’s also still concerned and worried about Eren a few chapters later, after he had done and stated that he’s about to do terrible things - even at times when her other friends were endangered. This time, it’s Armin who tries to act as a voice of reason.
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Now, before we get ahead of ourselves: 
Do I think that Eren doesn’t care about Mikasa, or even hate her (as he said)? No - she’s obviously extremely important to him and he was definitely lying during the table scene. Personally, I’ve never seen him having any romantic feelings towards her, but that doesn’t mean anything - love doesn’t always have to be romantic and I 100% believe that she’s still someone who he holds very dear to his heart. There are many moments that show that he’s also very protective of her, and that - along with Armin - she’s one of the most important people in his life. 
But my point still stands - aside from that, the relationship is just too unbalanced to be considered healthy, especially for Mikasa. Both Eren and Mikasa see it in different light, which often cause them to collide. I just can’t help but feel like Mikasa sacrifices too much for it, too - she often ends up jeopardizing her safety, constantly worries about Eren and clashes with her friends because of it. To some extent, Eren may be doing some of these things as well - but let’s be 100% honest, never nearly as much as Mikasa does. He fiercly protects her when she’s in danger and backs her up when he agrees with her, but at the end of the day he has his own goals and opinions. He doesn’t fixate himself with Mikasa nearly as much as Mikasa does it with him - he’s never jealous of anything but her skills, meanwhile she's often on alert when he’s around other girls. In the manga, she’s displaying jealousy over Annie and Historia, in the anime we can add Hanji to that pool, while in A.O.T. Wings of Freedom she’s also jealous of Sasha and even freckled Ymir - all while Eren remains oblivious and - in these situations, rightfully so - annoyed.
We know that there are reasons why Mikasa treats Eren like this. He obviously saved her life when they were children, but it’s also because she was strongly traumatized by losing both her biological family, and then people who took care of her right after that. It’s only natural that she does anything in her power to not go through that again...
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...but it’s important to question if the way her relationship with Eren goes - how she commits to it 100% and how it affects her - is really the best way for her to heal and eventually live a happy life. I believe that Eren himself saw that it was becoming too toxic for Mikasa - and, considering that he actually cares for her and knows that he doesn’t have all the time in the world, he focused on making her move on. In my opinion, that’s why he wanted to push her away during the table scene. It’s also why he tried to get rid of the scarf that Louise brought to him. Even if the execution is far from perfect, he still wants what’s best for her, so he tries to put an end to enabling her unhealthy coping practices. He wants her to live a long, happy life.
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Soooo...how does “the cabin AU” fit into all of this?
The answer is simple - it doesn’t. It’s a huge mixture and repetition of everything that’s harmful about Mikasa’s obsession with Eren. It’s a confirmation that Mikasa would be able to leave the entire world for 4 years of constant lying to herself. To betray her friends, leave everything behind, act as if everything was going to be okay and, in turn, make it all worse for herself. Because let me remind you one thing - Mikasa will go on living after Eren looses to the titan curse...but what will she do from now on? Will she stay in the cabin forever, alone and with no one to talk to - no one to share the pain after saying her final goodbye to Eren? Will she come back to the war-ridden world and face her old friends - like Armin who must have been frantically looking for her and Eren? Some of these friends may not want to have anything to do with her after all that - some may be already dead. Maybe there’s no place to go at all.
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In my opinion, Eren being okay with this would ultimately prove that he doesn’t care about Mikasa’s wellbeing - and, as I’ve said before I just don’t think that’s the case at all. On top of that, as stated in the beginning, it would serve as a regress of Mikasa’s character - she wouldn’t be able to overcome her weaknesses, which would only make her life harder in the long run. Therefore, I simply can’t accept this vision to be an AU. What do I think it was, then?
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Mikasa believes in Eren’s good heart, despite all awful things he commits - she repeatedly says that he does it all for them - his friends...and yet she wants to believe that there must have been a way to not let it all happen. A part of her may be blaming herself, which is why she questions if she could have changed anything by giving him a different answer. 
To me, it’s very obvious and I have to admit: I was horrified to see the amount of fans saying “If only she hadn’t family-zoned him, so many people would still be alive!”. Mikasa was NEVER to blame here and her answer should never have a force to change something like that. At the end of the day, it was Eren’s decision to go on with the rumbling, and I hate to see Mikasa (and the fans, too!) putting any blame for it on her.
In conclusion, I really believe that the vision was Mikasa’s daydream - most likely created as a coping mechanism since at this point she knew what was about to happen - what she had to do. Not any AU flashback, but rather a poor, traumathised girl trying to come to terms with the cruel reality - and ultimately reclaiming her strength. In her mind, she comes back to her safe place for a few moments, just to get a bit of comfort - a place where she and Eren live peacefully and safely. In fact, the panel below may suggest that she was dreaming about something similar ever since the training days:
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I also believe that, at some point, Eren enters that dream - perhaps somehow through paths, or is sent there by Ymir. There, he once again reminds Mikasa that he wants her to live long, be free and forget about him.
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I think in the end, Mikasa rejects that fake utopia, finally understanding that it could never happen and it was not her fault. She accepts the reality as it is and stops rationalizing Eren’s actions. She also comes to terms with her feelings towards him, but won’t let it cloud her judgement anymore. She will remember him and cherish these memories forever, but acknowledges that it has gone too far - she chooses humanity, the world and finally: a long, happy life for her. Just like Eren would want for her.
This time, Mikasa wraps the scarf around herself.
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If you’re here, wow - thank you so much for reading, it means a lot! I’m sorry for any mistakes I’ve made while writing - English is not my first language and I didn’t really have anyone to beta-read this long wall of text xd Hope I made my points clear - and just to clarify, my text is not an invitation for any ugly Mikasa haters. As I’ve said before, she’s one of my favorite characters and I hope for the best for her - she’s been through so much, poor girl needs a break :C
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dindjarindiaries · 3 years
Text
Catalyst - Chapter 2: The Ugnaught
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gif via @di-n​​ (let me know if you’d like it removed!)
summary: You and Mando land on Arvala-7, where his plan to simply drop you off goes haywire.
warnings: canon-typical violence
rating: G
word count: 3.813k
previous ⟸ masterlist ⟹ next
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chapter 2: the ugnaught
You wake with a start when a gloved hand gently touches your shoulder. You relax when you see Mando’s silver helmet. It tilts down at you as he speaks.
“We’re here,” Mando informs you. With a nod, you sit up and stretch. Mando stands up and walks away to give you your own space. He grabs a large rifle on the way, the same one he had on Nevarro. You wrinkle your brow as you stand up from your makeshift bed, hoisting your knapsack over your shoulders as you do so.
“What’s that?” you ask innocently, pointing at the rifle.
“A weapon.” Mando’s tone is curt, enough to clue you in to the fact he likely won’t be disclosing much else about the rifle.
You raise an eyebrow at him. “Looks dangerous.”
Mando looks straight at you when he responds. “It is dangerous.” He turns towards the hatch, pressing a button on the wall of the Crest to lower it. “Stay on the ship. I’ll see what’s out there.”
You huff, watching as Mando starts to walk forward. “But you told me you were dropping me off here!”
“You won’t be able to get far if there’s danger lurking.” Mando doesn’t stop walking as he speaks, making you cross your arms indignantly as you stand at the threshold of the hatch. The sky is blue, but there’s only dirt and rocky landscapes as far as the eye can see. There’s hardly any life, making you want to protest at the idea of being left somewhere completely isolated. 
Mando takes a few more steps before he stops, looking around cautiously with his helmet. He cocks his rifle and holds it firmly, as if he’s aiming it at something. You narrow your eyes, trying to see what he’s looking at. The silence is too loud—and when it’s broken, you can’t even find your voice to warn him.
The roar comes out of seemingly nowhere. When the creature comes charging towards Mando, its anger is hardly concealed. Your eyes widen as Mando lowers the rifle, unable to do anything with it before the creature seizes him by the arm. Mando tries to use his flamethrower, but the effort is made in vain as it does nothing but fly through the open air on the other side of the creature’s mouth. It takes him to the ground a few times and swings him side-to-side.
“Mando!” you exclaim once you’ve finally found your voice, starting to rush down the hatch.
“Kid!” Mando calls back to you amongst his own sounds of surprise and effort as he tries to rip his arm free of the creature’s mouth. He starts to punch its eye with his free hand, speaking to you between hits. “Stay! On! The! Ship!”
Mando finally frees his arm, holding it with his good hand as he looks back at you to make sure you’re obeying his orders. You look at him incredulously as you stand on the hatch. “You want me to watch you get killed?”
“It can’t know you’re her—,” Mando starts to say, getting cut off when the creature charges again. It seizes his other arm this time, but as it runs forward, it gets shot by a dart that causes it to fall limp to the ground. Mando falls with it, causing you to run towards him with relief as you prepare to help his arm out of its mouth.
“Kid, stay back!” Mando orders gruffly, as if all the wind’s been knocked out of him. You look up from where you’ve already knelt at Mando’s side just to see another creature coming towards the two of you. You both raise your arms in pitiful self-defense before that creature falls just like the other one did. When the threat is gone, you and Mando look up to see an Ugnaught riding the same kind of creature with a dart blaster in hand. You wrinkle your brow and look over at Mando, who’s groaning with pain as he rips his arm from the creature’s mouth.
“You okay, Mando?” you ask quietly, nervously glancing at the Ugnaught. You can see Mando’s armor is broken where the creature had taken a firm grip on it.
“I’m fine,” Mando assures you through heavy breaths, not looking your way as he rests his elbow upon his knee and looks up at the Ugnaught. He addresses him when he continues. “Thank you.”
The Ugnaught nods, tilting his head curiously at the two of you before he finally speaks. “You are a bounty hunter,” he says to Mando, his tone calculated and full of wisdom.
Mando looks down at his arm and starts to play around with the broken armor. “Yes.”
The Ugnaught then looks at you. “And you are his…” He trails off, unsure what to make of your presence alongside the bounty hunter.
“Mechanic!” Your quick answer earns a look from Mando’s visor, one that is no doubt full of disbelief behind the visor. “I help with the ship sometimes.” You use your thumb to gesture back towards the Crest.
The Ugnaught doesn’t respond to that, accepting your answer as he ponders something for a long moment. When he speaks, his voice is decisive. “I will help you.” You widen your eyes and look over at Mando, who’s already looking up at the Ugnaught with surprise. “I have spoken.” With that, the Ugnaught repeatedly kicks the side of the creature he’s riding, causing it to turn around and start heading back from where he came.
Mando shrugs at you as he starts to stand. You get up first and extend a hand to help him, despite the way you struggle to do so. He brushes some of the dust off himself before tilting his helmet at you. “Mechanic?” he echoes your previous words.
You shrug back at him. “I don’t know!” you exclaim in a hushed voice. “I panicked!”
Mando sighs, ultimately kneeling down to grab his rifle and patting his gloved hand on your shoulder. “It’s all right—for now. I don’t want to leave you somewhere this desolate.” Mando starts to walk ahead of you, following the Ugnaught. “We’ll talk more about it later.”
You nod to yourself and hurry up to fall in step alongside Mando, keeping your hands wrapped tightly around the straps of your knapsack as the Ugnaught leads you away. The scene of Mando almost getting demolished by the creatures keeps playing over and over in your head. You wonder if you’ve made a mistake leaving Nevarro, where at least you weren’t exposed to such dangers. Then you look over at Mando and you don’t worry as much anymore. Somehow, you know he’ll keep you safe—at least, until you get to the next planet.
The sun’s already sinking low in the sky by the time you get to where the Ugnaught has been leading you. Your feet—unused to such travel—are sore, but you don’t dare complain to the bounty hunter whose arm just got chewed up by a creature. Instead, you look around the little farm with awe. It looks comfortable and sustainable for a person of the Ugnaught’s size. There’s a fenced-in pen next to a tall windmill that stands over a hut. The Ugnaught leads his creature into the pen and hops off it, petting it affectionately before he makes sure it’s trapped inside. He then takes you both into the little hut, causing you and Mando to have to duck your heads.
“Have a seat,” the Ugnaught urges, gesturing towards a tiny table further away in the hut. You look over at Mando, who takes the initiative and walks over to the slab of wood. He crosses his legs as he sits. You follow and do the same alongside him, setting your knapsack beside you as the Ugnaught prepares something in his small kitchen. “Many have passed through,” he tells the two of you. “They seek the same one as you.”
You keep your lips sealed as you let Mando continue the conversation instead. “Did you help them?” Mando questions.
“Yes.” The Ugnaught pauses, glancing briefly at Mando before he goes back to his work. “They died.”
Your shoulders tense up as you look over at Mando, who’s still contemplating the Ugnaught’s words. “Well, then I don’t know if I want your help.”
The Ugnaught finally takes a hold of a tall clay jar, walking in your direction as he nods. “You do. I can show you to the encampment.”
Mando looks up at the Ugnaught as he stands across from you. “What’s your cut?”
“Half.”
Even your inexperienced-bounty-hunter-self knows that deal is poor. You nearly scoff and start to argue yourself when Mando beats you to the punch. “Half the bounty to guide? Seems steep.”
“No,” the Ugnaught remarks as he finally sits across from you, distributing the tea that’s in the jar into two cups. “Half of the blurrg you helped capture.” He points outside the hut, causing you to look and see the creature he’d been riding before.
“The blurrg?” Mando scoffs. “You can keep them both.”
“No, you will need one. To ride.” The Ugnaught hands you one of the cups, causing you to thank him quietly as you bring the cup to your lips. The tea hits a spot you didn’t know you needed it to. You can feel Mando’s gaze on you as you drink, as if he’s making sure you’re actually drinking it. “The way is impossible to pass without a blurrg mount.”
Mando holds back a sigh. You can see his gloved fingers fluttering nervously on his armor-covered thighs. “I don’t know how to ride blurrg.” He almost sounds embarrassed, making you frown as you draw your cup away from your lips.
The Ugnaught just looks at Mando. “I have spoken.” He takes a sip from his own cup as Mando’s fingers continue to move anxiously. The Ugnaught speaks again when he finishes sipping his drink. “You will learn in the morning.” He glances out at the darkening night. “It is not wise to pass through the way at night.”
Mando doesn’t hold back his sigh this time. “Fine.”
After your long silence, you speak up, your voice quieter than you’d like it to be as you do so. “What about me?”
There’s no hesitation as Mando provides an answer. “You’ll stay here.”
You frown more as you look at him. “What? You’re just gonna leave me here?”
Mando shakes his helmet at you. “It’s too dangerous. You heard him. Other hunters have died.”
You scoff and point towards the blurrg that’s in the pen outside. “And aren’t those creatures dangerous too? You couldn’t fight them off. What if they decide to attack me while he’s guiding you?”
Mando seriously considers this for a few moments. You draw a sip from your tea, anxiously awaiting his answer as he produces it with another deep sigh. “All right. You’ll ride with me.” Mando lifts a gloved hand from his thigh to point a warning finger at you. “But as soon as we get to the encampment, you’ll stay hidden on the outskirts. Understand?”
You nod a few times. Mando turns back to the Ugnaught as he speaks up again. “You’ll both need rest before the journey ahead.”
“If you don’t have enough room, we can head back to the ship.”
The Ugnaught shakes his head, standing as he walks further into the hut. You watch as he gathers materials such as blankets and pillows. “There is no need. I have spare room in one of my barns, if that is suitable for you.”
Your nose wrinkles at the thought of sleeping with creatures like blurrgs, but Mando responds before you have the chance to protest. “That will be just fine. Thank you… very much.”
The Ugnaught turns and lifts a dismissive hand to Mando. “There is no need to thank me. You two are my guests and therefore I am in your service.”
You smile at that, feeling more and more safe in the presence of your hospitable host. When you look over at Mando again, you see him already looking in your direction, nodding as if he’s confirming your thoughts about the Ugnaught.
When the Ugnaught starts to walk out of the hut with his materials in hand, you and Mando stand and follow, still bending low to avoid hitting the ceiling as you head out into the cool night. The warm sun of the planet has nearly finished its descent, casting the once warm and dry area into darkness with a chilling breeze. You cross your arms over your chest and try to suppress a shiver.
The Ugnaught leads you to a hut just like his own, but even smaller in size. There’s another just beside it, though you can see a blurrg already trapped within it. The Ugnaught steps into the spare hut and sets down the pillows and blankets, nodding at Mando as you both walk in after him.
“I will leave you to rest until morning,” the Ugnaught says. “Then, you will learn how to ride blurrg. I have spoken.”
With those words and a wave, the Ugnaught ducks out of the barn, leaving just you and Mando. You plop down on the ground and let the knapsack fall from your shoulders. Your arms cross over your chest again as a breeze makes its way from the outside into the hut. This time, you can’t suppress the shiver.
“You’re cold.” Mando’s words frighten you for a moment as you jump and turn to see him kneeling beside you.
You shake your head at him. “I’m okay, Mando,” you try to argue.
Mando scoffs as he moves away to start setting up one of the beds with the blankets and pillows. “Seems like you’ve got a time and place for your lying skills, kid.” You watch him use up every blanket except for one with just the single bed, making you wrinkle your brow. “And this isn’t it.”
“Hey, I came through when it counted!” Though you’re being defensive, you can’t help smiling, not expecting someone like Mando to participate in such playful banter. Your curiosity gets the best of you when Mando finishes setting up the one bed and is left with only one blanket for the other. “I’m not sure you know how to properly make a bed.”
Mando gestures to his armor. “I’ve got layers to keep me warm.” He points at your tattered clothes. “You don’t.” He then gestures with his helmet to the made up bed. “You need all those more than I do.”
You watch with surprise as Mando lays out the one blanket, sitting on top of it before he lies completely back. Slowly, you do the same in the bed Mando’s prepared for you, keeping a few of the blankets pulled over you as you lie back on the pillows. “Are you sure, Mando?”
Mando doesn’t answer right away. When he does, his modulated voice sounds almost strained. “Yes.” There’s a pause before Mando speaks again. “Get some rest, kid. Tomorrow will be a long day.”
You nod, despite the fact you know Mando can’t see the movement from where he’s lying. “Goodnight.” Your voice is quiet and unsure as you roll onto your side away from Mando, closing your eyes and almost immediately falling asleep. Mando might have said something before you drifted off, but you don’t remember hearing it.
The next morning, you’re woken up by Mando folding up his blanket and getting ready to head outside. He looks at you when you sit up, tilting his helmet as you stretch your arms out. Still, he doesn’t speak just yet, allowing you to break the ice as you start to fold up your own blankets.
“Morning, Mando,” you greet, sounding much more chipper than the night before.
Mando nods, resting his elbow against his knee. “Were you warm enough last night?”
“Yeah.” You smile mischievously at him. “Slept like a baby.”
Mando picks up his blanket in one of his arms and takes the others from you. “Fitting for you, kid.”
You frown as Mando walks out of the barn. “I’m not a kid!” you call after him, rolling your eyes to yourself when he doesn’t acknowledge your words. You take your knapsack and hang it over your shoulders, picking up the pillows Mando hadn’t grabbed as you follow after him.
The Ugnaught is already awake and ready for the two of you. He takes your blankets and pillows and serves you breakfast, a warm-cooked type of porridge that fills your stomach just right. You sit outside with the Ugnaught as you eat, letting Mando stay inside so he can remove his helmet. Though the whole concept of his helmet removal makes you curious, you refuse to bring it up right now, knowing Mando needs to focus on the job that’s ahead of him.
Once you and Mando are both done with breakfast, the Ugnaught leads you over to the pen. He has one of the blurrgs who attacked Mando waiting inside. You can feel the tension rolling off Mando in waves as the creature growls at him. The Ugnaught lets Mando inside the pen and stands beside you outside of it, attempting to guide him through words into riding the blurrg.
“How do I mount this thing?” Mando asks, his visor never straying from the blurrg.
“You mount it,” the Ugnaught counters. You snort at his bluntness. “You’re thinking too much about it. Do not hesitate.”
Mando’s chest rises and falls with a slow and steady breath. He nods as if he’s reassuring himself, taking a few careful steps towards the blurrg before he speeds up. Mando throws himself on top of the blurrg, causing it to roar with dissatisfaction as it swings its body from side to side. Unprepared for such a reaction, Mando’s instantly launched from the creature, making you cover your mouth with your hand to suppress a sound of surprise.
“Go again!” the Ugnaught urges Mando, even as he slowly stands with a few grunts and groans of pain and annoyance. “You were too quick.”
Mando, ever the obedient Mandalorian, tries again—and again—and again until you’re sure he’s littered with bruises underneath his red armor. He lies on the ground with visible frustration after he gets thrown hard enough from the blurrg to make his helmet almost fall off.
“Perhaps if you removed your helmet,” the Ugnaught suggests as Mando struggles to sit up once again.
“Perhaps he remembers I tried to roast him,” Mando quips. He looks from the agitated blurrg to the Ugnaught with a frustrated swing of his helmet.
“This is a female. The males are all eaten during mating.”
You furrow your brow at that. “Nice,” you comment.
“Don’t take their side, kid.” Mando gets up with difficulty, staring at the blurrg even as she growls at him. With another deep breath, Mando heads towards her, swinging himself upon her back as she thrashes around with dismay. Mando manages to hold on for longer than he has before, but ultimately, he’s yet again thrown from the blurrg.
You sigh with disappointment as Mando gets up more quickly this time, alarmed by the blurrg’s anger and frustrated at his inability to succeed. When you look over at the Ugnaught, he’s facepalming with the same disappointment you feel, a gesture he only stops when Mando comes marching over.
“I don’t have time for this,” Mando scoffs. “Do you have a landspeeder or speeder bike that I could hire?”
“You are a Mandalorian!” the Ugnaught reminds him. You can see Mando’s shoulders fall with some sort of shame upon hearing that. “Your ancestors rode the great Mythosaur. Surely you can ride this young foal.”
The Ugnaught gestures to the blurrg that’s still growling at Mando. When Mando’s helmet also looks in that direction, you reach a hand through the wiring of the pen to touch his armored shoulder, drawing his attention back to you as you nod at him.
“You got this, Mando,” you encourage him.
Mando nods at that, stepping away and causing your hand to fall back to your side. He walks towards the blurrg, this time remaining cautious as he approaches it with careful steps. When the blurrg starts to get agitated again, Mando lifts his hands in surrender and speaks to her.
“Easy, easy. Now—all right. Settle down.” He gets closer and closer with each word, still remaining calm despite his close proximity. She roars at one point, surprising Mando as he steps back. “Whoa! Settle. Settle.” He starts to get closer to her again, extending his right hand towards her head. When she doesn’t roar again or make a move to run away, Mando praises her. “That’s good, that’s good.” You can tell Mando’s still nervous by the way his hands fidget, but nevertheless, he keeps moving ahead. He doesn’t stop until he’s brushing the blurrg’s head. “Easy. Okay.” The blurrg’s eyes start to fall closed as she completely relaxes underneath Mando’s hands. “That’s good. All right.”
Mando takes a deep breath as he prepares to sit atop the blurrg again. You hold your breath in your chest as the Ugnaught appears to do the same alongside you. You cheer for Mando inside your head, clasping your hands together as you wait in anticipation.
Mando swings himself over the blurrg, this time remaining steady even as the blurrg starts to growl. She calms down this time, taking gentle steps with Mando as he urges her to walk further. She obeys his commands—heading towards the exit of the pen. You look over at the Ugnaught to see him nodding in approval, making you smile wide at Mando’s success. Mando guides the blurrg right over to you, stopping it and reaching a hand out to you.
“You’re gonna need a lift,” Mando says. You chuckle and accept his hand, letting him help you onto the blurrg as you sit behind him. Your arms wrap around his middle for steadiness as the Ugnaught makes his way to his own blurrg. “Make sure you hold on tight, okay? I’m… still new at this.”
“Okay, I’ll try,” you assure him. “Just try not to get us launched from this thing in the middle of nowhere.”
Mando scoffs at that. He waits for the Ugnaught to bound over on his blurrg. They exchange nods before the Ugnaught turns around, leading the way from his farm to the encampment. Even as you make your way through the rocky landscapes, you have a feeling your journey hasn’t truly started, and that whatever lays at the end of this trip will change everything.
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228 notes · View notes
write-r-die · 3 years
Text
Masterlist!
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SERIES
Prisoner - Henry x OFC (Thomasin), Medieval England AU
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 WINTER, 1067 - NORMAN CONQUEST OF ENGLAND
ENEMIES TO LOVERS (SORT OF) - Henry Cavill is a respected Norman baron who has been tasked with finding Lady Thomasin, an ill-tempered Saxon noblewoman, and returning her to London so the king can marry her off to a cruel Norman invader. The two grow close during the long journey, and Henry puts his own life in danger (more than once) to protect the woman he loves.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27
Playlist (not final)
***pretty much done, I’m just lazy about writing the last two chapters***
By Tomorrow - Henry x OFC (Sybil), Medieval Scotland AU
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ARRANGED MARRIAGE - Henry, the stoic heir apparent to Clan Cavill, travels to England to retrieve his cousin from her home there. While there, he impulsively accepts an unexpected opportunity to anger is sworn enemy, Laird Maclean, by marrying the woman meant for the laird’s son. Now a pawn in someone else’s game, Sybil sets out to understand the mystery surrounding Henry’s childhood and the cause of his endless feud.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13
Man’s World - August x OFC (Lilah), Post Apocalypse AU
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ENEMIES TO LOVERS - After a solar flare ended the world as we know it, former spy August Walker becomes the most terrifying of the many warlords who pop up across the US. He leads his militia from town to town, taking what he wants and all killing those who resist him. And now he wants Lilah. And one way or another, he’ll have her.
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DRABBLES & ONE-SHOTS
Chest Hair - Henry x Reader
Very short drabble that I just wanted to publish
Always About Me - Henry x Reader
It’s your first time - but Henry doesn’t know that
Mean It - Henry X Reader
The first time you say “I love you”
Big Jet Plane - Henry x Reader
That insta pic gave me feelings....
Love it All - Henry x Reader
First dance drabble. Based on Love it All by the Kooks.
Adore - Henry x First Person
Just snuggles and a bit of smut because I’m in my feels.
The Couch - Henry x Reader
Dark Days Are Ahead - Clark Kent/Superman/Kal-El
Evil Superman drabble
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THE HUNGER GAMES
Fear of the Water - Finnick x Annie
That awful restlessness I’ve been feeling – I was right. It is because of her. Because I can’t relax when she’s not close. I can’t think about anything else. I can hardly breathe. When did this happen? How did it come to this? Why didn’t I realize what was going on? It was slow and creeping, almost insidious, rolling around me like waves until one day I was drowning in it. I love her.
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Tracing - Finnick x Annie drabble
Lust Holds My Hand - Coriolanus Snow
He had no illusions about himself. He was capable of both love and hate, albeit stunted versions of both, and he was kind to the people he loved and cruel to the people he didn’t. But whoever else he was and whatever else he did, he was always honest about it. How many people could say the same?
One-shot
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GAME OF THRONES
My Baby, Wide-eyed and Pretty - Sansa x Jon
Why should Jon prefer Daenerys over her? What did she have that Sansa didn’t? Blood, she thought to herself. They don't share the same blood. They could do whatever they liked without shame or guilt. He and Sansa could not.  Jonsa with a splash of Jonaerys. The season 8 we deserved.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 (complete)
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Find me on AO3 as marcat. 
Note: Some of these stories were published on my other blogs (mostly @thgfanficinspo​) but they are still mine!
301 notes · View notes
azucanela · 4 years
Note
being bolin’s s/o would include hcs?
BEING BOLIN’S S/O HEADCANNONS [GENDER NEUTRAL]
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BEING KORRA’S S/O | BEING SOKKA’S S/O | BEING ZUKO’S S/O
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SUMMARY: life with bolin from confession to wedding 
WORD COUNT: 1.5k
WARNINGS: crying, insecurities, kissing, that it this is wholesome there are like no warnings
A/N: MY BOY BOLIN DON’T GOT NO REP SO HERE
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GETTING INTO THE RELATIONSHIP
ahjsgdhjsgd a simp through and through, he’s gonna think you are literally so beautiful and handsome and amazing when he first meets you and he’ll definitely stumble over his words but aside from that he doesn’t know you so there won’t be and ~feelings~
he’s just gonna view you as his really attractive buddy from then on until he gets to know you because that’s what up? that’s whats up.
once he does get to know you he is like wow you are perfect this is unfair what, and now he is back to simping because damn you are perfect
accepts his feelings very quickly, he is very in tune with his emotions because at the end of the day, he’s an emotional guy which is good bc screw toxic masculinity right
he’s gonna decide if he wants to pursue this further very quickly as well, and will definitely have a long conversation about how amazing you are to a very annoyed mako
mako does not like you rn, its not because you are a bad person or anything, its just because his brother will NOT SHUT UP ABOUT YOU and now he is annoyed by your existence
anyways back to the better other brother
this is gonna go two ways
based off bolin’s treatment of korra when he had his lil crush on her, he’s gonna be very forward about asking you out and taking you out on a date, but when he actually like confesses confesses its gonna be all shy and cute
the first date is gonna be very basic, just dinner and stuff, talking about a variety of topics and life and all that and he’s just gonna be so in awe of you because wow YOU
at the end of the night he’s gonna confess and be like “yeah, i just really like you and I hope you like me too because you’re the most amazing and beautiful and intelligent and all around perfect person i know.”
if you respond positively our consent KING will ask if he can kiss you because he is a gentleman
than ya’ll kiss and he’s like date me pls and you’re like yes ofc 
alternatively you will approach him and ask him out on a date and he FREAKS OUT like he starts sqeauling and stuff because wow his crush just asked HIM out
someone expressed interest in HIM
bolin is the type to never get picked especially when put beside mako and he was genuinely worried you might like his brother hahaha... good thing you didn’t! this is good this is good!
super super nervous on the date but hey you asked him out you MUST like him, right? right.
DURING THE RELATIONSHIP
HASGDJHAGDJAG2
welp
bolin is a special boy
definitely treats you like the QUEEN YOU ARE, will try and pay for everything despite being highkey broke, exaggeratively opens doors for you, gives you his jacket if he can, is all around a gentleman because he just wants to treat you right and really doesn’t want you to leave him
PDA PDA PDA EVERYWHERE, unless you explicitly state that you don’t want PDA, or set boundaries— which bolin would COMPLETELY respect, he wants you to be comfortable and happy with him! — otherwise he always wants to be touching you and holding you. while you are out together he is holding you hand, pressing pecks against your lips, hugging you from behind while you talk to friends, always touching you, hand on your hip, arm around your shoulder
in private i can actually see bolin as being more shy about affection, especially if you initiate it. he gets SO FLUSTERED whenever you initiate anything and just sits there like w o w 
don’t get me wrong he is still very touchy, you just make him shy and flustered because you are just so amazing to him
not the type to get jealous jealous, but is the type to get insecure. he isn’t going to fight a guy hitting on you, because you are pretty and handsome and amazing and he trusts you. however, he will fight a guy for disrespecting you. bolin drinks a lot of respect juice and does not hesitate to attack if someone hurts you in any way
your number one hype man, whether you are insecure about an outfit or worried about the future of a project for work/school, he’s going to being hyping you up and reminding you how great you are
bolin is also really verbal about his love for you, he has no shame expressing it and telling you he loves you. all around he’s really good at expressing his feelings and communication
if you two ever fight bolin is probably going to start crying, and definitely will apologize first, even if he isn’t the one in the wrong. if YOU start crying, he will either cry more or begin crying if he hasn’t already. 
speaking of crying, if you are ever crying bolin would be great at comfort ngl, he’s gonna bring you food if you want it, blankets, entertainment, definitely trains pabu purely to make you laugh. he’ll listen to you rant and vent and even add on, especially if he feels just as strongly as you do.
supports all your hobbies and endeavors, comes to any events you want him to
speaking of events GO TO HIS PROBENDING TOURNAMENTS. GO TO HIS MOVIE PREMIERES. SUPPORT HIM. HE WILL CRY TEARS OF JOY. literally it makes him so happy to see you at these events, cheering him on and congratulating him
bolin is a good kisser, you cannot change my mind. he’s really soft, like there’s no harshness or anything like that, just pure love. very passionate and gentle with you.
he’s like still lowkey a celebrity so you guys get recognized in public and there are a few crazy fans that he would totally protect you from if they ever went too far, but most of them respect you guys
they all simp for your bf just like you do 
all in all a good boyfriend.
MARRIAGE N STUFF
HAHSAGDJAGS PLEASE PROPOSE BOLIN IS SO STRESSED
like he decided he wanted to marry you at exactly 2:11PM while visiting Mako and literally booked it in the middle of dinner with Mako just to freak out over this revelation and stress buy a ring, he doesn’t even know what your ring size is oh no
he is literally panicking so much someone please calm him down he wants to marry you and has no idea if you want to marry him back and simultaneously has a fear of rejection oh no
bolin is gonna avoid you and you’re probably gonna think he’s breaking up with you or something like that, even though it is quite the opposite, he literally wants to spend the rest of his life with you
at some point you confront him, crying, asking if he is going to dump you and if he does intend to dump you then to just get it over with because you dont want to waste more time with him
“have you been avoiding me?”
“what? me? never”
“...are you breaking up with me bolin.”
“DEFINITELY NOT.”
bolin starts crying because you are crying and he is freaking out again because you got the complete wrong message and literally will get the ring and propose right then and there just to reassure you that he still loves you and never ever wants to leave you
honestly, you guys are the type of couple to both have rings, and then one of you proposes just for the other to start laughing and pull out a ring as well because same wavelength guyssss
alternatively you propose and its probably just as chaotic because bolin definitely starts sobbing when you do, he’s so soft and he loves you and wow you love him too and want to marry him thats adorable
you probably do more research ahead of time and have a planned out thing on like the beach or something, and its all cute and nice, maybe you even hire someone to catch it on camera
he is stunned and speechless for a hot minute, like he cannot breathe but don’t worry, he agrees eventually!!!
bolin wouldn’t want like a public public wedding because ngl once again he is a celebrity and stranger crazy danger
regardless it’ll be a bigger wedding because bolin feels like you deserve only the best and wants a big wedding himself, he would be really involved in planning so if you don’t wanna do that he’s perfectly fine with it and will handle everything
invites your close friends and friends of friends 
cries when he sees you walk down the aisle like just cries, hes so happy and seeing you there just brings him more joy and he just :D
let korra be the best man 2020
the afterparty is going to be so intense ngl there is going to be a DJ and music ranges from slow dancing which is all sweet and romantic with bolin, to some rave stuff with people jumping up and down on the dance floor in the most uncomfy shoes.
honestly perfect i love it 10/10
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timbourinedrakejr · 3 years
Text
Missing you
My secret Santa recipient was @moonlightstar64 !!! I saw you liked Mari being the bio!sibling of one of the Batfam, so I got a bit carried away with this big brother Jason fic, I hope you enjoy it!!! (Part 2 of the gift is here)
@maribat-secret-santa-2020
Jason tapped his foot impatiently on the floor, and gave another over dramatic sigh, which gained multiple glares from his siblings. They were meant to be visiting the Marché de Noël at Notre Dame to do a bit of christmas shopping and get food, and he was starving.
But for some god forsaken reason his brothers were taking ages to get ready, and he was sick of waiting for them. He opened his mouth to give another complaint when Alfred cut him off, sending him a stern glare.
“If you cannot wait any longer Master Jason, I suggest you go on ahead and get something to eat and stop fussing. We will be along shortly.” It didn’t take much else for Jason to get the message, Alfred had had enough of his impatience and wanted him out.
With one short glare at the rest of his (incredibly slow) family, Jason turned and left the hotel, determined to make the walk to the market as quick as possible. It had just begun snowing again, and the sunlight was quickly disappearing, giving the streets of Paris a magical feel.
He would never admit it straight up, but he was actually enjoying the forced family vacation, even if his family infuriated him sometimes. It was the first year he’d ever actually accepted the invitation to join them, and despite all his worries, it’d been going surprisingly well.
The tradition to have a Christmas vacation had started a few years ago, when Alfred had decided that he’d had enough of missed Christmas dinners and that the whole family deserved to enjoy a holiday. Alfred had determined that the best way to fully remove the temptations of working over Christmas, would simply be to forcibly take Bruce out of Gotham altogether. Of course Bruce put up a fuss, and so did the rest of their workaholic family, but there was no fighting Alfred sometimes.
It didn’t stop most of them from bringing cases to work on, but it still gave them all a much needed break, as well as a whole lot of unspoilt ‘family bonding time’. Every year the location of the holiday changed, and this year Paris was decided on. As he walked along the streets, admiring how the strings of christmas lights glistened off the snow, he was glad he’d agreed to come this year.
He really was hungry though, and despite being so close to the market, he couldn’t wait to eat any longer. He spotted a small sign up ahead for a boulangerie patisserie, and the delicious smells and warm glow coming from inside, were enough to tempt Jason in.
As soon as he stepped in, his eyes darted straight to the display case, so distracted by his hunger that he almost didn’t notice how the shop assistance’s greeting abruptly cut off with a gasp.
Jason looked up to see what had caused their reaction, only to stop short himself, as his eyes landed on a girl with two familiar pigtails, who’s watering blue eyes were currently locked on him in shock.
“Jason?”
Marinette had never thought she would see Jason again. Not since she was 11 and saw the headline that had torn her heart in two, the one that had crushed all her hopes of one day being reunited with her brother.
When she was younger, freshly adopted and living in her new home in Paris, he was all she would ever talk about. Her parents would listen with a fond grin as she babbled on in broken french about how cool Jason was, and how much he would love it here, especially the food.
They had been separated after their mother had died, sent to different care homes despite all their protests. When her new parents had discovered that she had a brother, they had tried looking for him, only to find out Jason had run away a few weeks prior. Marinette had been heartbroken, but she knew deep down that Jason was looking for her, and one day they would see each other again.
Marinette had been a logical kid though, so she understood that the chance of Jason finding her in France, was extremely low. At best, Jason would be found and adopted by loving parents who would help him find her (which, knowing Gotham, was very unlikely), and at worst, he would have to wait until he was eighteen to look for her himself. She never even considered the possibility that he wouldn’t make it to eighteen.
Jason was a survivor. He was brave, kind, and always always looked out for her. Her mother had tried her best to take care of them both, Marinette knew that, but most of the time it was Jason looking after both of them. Jason had told her that she’d been the best Mom, before she got ill, and before their dad had made it worse, but Marinette was too young to remember the before.
All Marinette could remember was Jason. Jason was the one who cooked most nights, the one who made sure she was in bed on time, the one who got her ready for school each morning. He’d always try and protect her when their dad was in one of his moods, and always patched her up afterwards, no matter how much worse off he was.
No matter how bad some of her memories of Gotham were, Marinette didn’t want to forget Jason. So she did whatever she could to remember him. She told all her new friends about him, and insisted that her parents learnt how to make all his favourite foods.
She even kept her hair in the exact same style that Jason had always put it in. She’d used to complain that all the other girls had their hair in pretty styles, whilst hers was always boring and let down, so Jason had learnt how to do her hair. Granted, the only style he could do neatly were pigtails, but it was still better than nothing.
Every morning they would sit down, and Jason would brush her hair, making up grand tales for her whilst she sat quietly in awe. Those mornings were some of Marinette’s most cherished memories, so to make sure she never forgot, she got her Maman to teach her how to do them herself.
She wore them everyday, without fail, and would proudly tell anyone who commented on them, that it was for her brother. Marinette secretly hoped that it would also help Jason to recognise her when they were finally reunited.
It was also a habit for Marinette to watch the Gotham news every day. She still missed her old home despite how dangerous and corrupt it was, and watching it was a comfort, a way to keep in touch with her roots.
It was also how she found out that the adopted son of Bruce Wayne was killed in an explosion. She’d only been half paying attention, working on her homework whilst she waited for her parents to cook dinner, when she suddenly heard her brother’s name mentioned.
Her world had stopped as a picture of her brother, looking healthy and older in the arms of Bruce Wayne, was displayed on screen, with the newsreader calmly announcing his tragic death alongside it.
Marinette had been inconsolable for weeks, no amount of reassurance from her parents able to stop her tears. She spent days going through news articles, reading anything that mentioned her brother, saving every photo she could.
It hurt knowing that if she’d just paid more attention to Gotham, searched for her brother properly rather than just sit by and wait, she could’ve found him. Could’ve talked to him, let him meet her new family, meet his new family.
But now none of that was possible. Because he was dead and nothing could change that.
Marinette stopped watching Gothams news after that. She stopped talking about him because it hurt too much. She didn’t even tell Tikki at first, only telling her after she noticed the picture of him pinned to the wall next to her bed.
But despite how much the memories hurt now, Marinette still clung to them. The memories were the only things she had left of him, and even though it hurt too much to talk about, she didn’t want to pretend he didn’t ever exist.
So, even though she got teased for it being too childish, and even though it still stung to remember, she kept her hair in pigtails. A small reminder to herself to never forget, and to hold the good memories close.
Life had moved on, and even though Marinette still missed her brother, the pain wasn’t so raw anymore, feeling more like a dull ache rather than a bleeding wound. Still, Marinette always felt worse around the holidays, and liked to keep busy rather than dwell on the thought that Jason should be here, enjoying life, too.
The bakery was always hectic around the holidays, and gave Marinette the perfect excuse to busy herself and help out, often manning the till to give her parents a break.
It had been a miraculously quiet afternoon, which Marinette attributed to the local market, and she’d been doodling on a napkin when the bell chimed, indicating a customer. She’d straightened quickly, automatically greeting the customer, before she looked up and immediately froze.
Because standing in front of her, was what should’ve been a dead man. He looked older, as if he’d actually aged the last five years. She could see scars that weren’t there before, and his hair looked different, a streak of white in the front, but no matter all the changes, she was certain that was him.
That was Jason.
“Jay?”
She barely registered that she’d spoken, and her suspicions were confirmed when the man looked up in wide eyed shock. The tears that were forming in her eyes began to overflow as he replied, the Gotham accent as strong as ever.
“Nette?”
That was all it took for Marinette’s restraint to break, and she practically jumped the counter in her rush to get to him, to prove to herself that he was really there, and not just some akuma trick. But an akuma wouldn’t show her Jason all grown up, and he wouldn’t just be standing there looking like he was the one who’d just seen a ghost.
As soon as she was close enough, she threw herself at him, and clung on to him for dear life. Only a moment later she felt strong arms return the embrace, just as hard. She felt a million different emotions all buzzing through her head at once, but the clearest feeling of all was the pure relief.
She didn’t know how or why he was back and apparently alive, but at this moment, she did not care. Her brother was back, and he was here, and she was never gonna let him go.
“Never do that again,” she managed to choke out, her words muffled by how her face was pressed into Jason’s chest. “I don’t want to lose you ever again.”
Jason’s own words were almost just as tearful when he replied, pulling her closer as he did.
“I promise. I’ll never leave again.”
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lesbiansforboromir · 4 years
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once again you made me deeply emotional over boromir. i don't have the fellowship (much less the english edition) at hand, so i can't even re-read my fav parts with him. any particular boromir-related stuff you may share?
FUCK ok I’ve got a migraine and a passion and I do not know how to use either of them but I’m gonna use this ask to talk about something I’ve been thinking about for months, not kidding on that one. 
Galadriel... was the direct cause of Boromir trying to take the ring- HEAR ME OUT. 
There are some very important things to remember about Boromir when you’re considering his actions and motives.
- He explicitly came on the quest assuming it would lead them all to Minas Tirith, because that’s where he needed to get back too. It’s very clear, he and Aragorn are literally going because Minas Tirith is on the way to Mordor. And every detour and every delay of the Company amps up his frustration and worry. 
- He left Gondor with the certainty that his city would be besieged VERY soon and that they would not be able to break it. His trip to Rivendell is desperation based in it’s entirety, he’s looking for anything that might help. 
- He knows absolutely none of these people from adam and whilst he very much wants to trust them, they have yet to win his loyalty or faith in ANY capacity. I’m sorry! I know everyone wants the Fellowship to be that good good found family foundation but it simply isn’t that for Boromir and never has been.
Okay so when they finally leave Moria and Gandalf’s dead, everyone’s grieving and miserable. They are also worried, Gandalf was their guide and as much as Aragorn’s a tracker he doesn’t have Gandalf’s expertise. Then again, Moria had been entirely Gandalf’s decision in the first place, claiming there wouldn’t be many orcs in there at all in an argument he has with Boromir about how dangerous the mines would be in comparison to the Gap of Rohan. Indeed, if Bilbo hadn’t given Frodo the mithril shirt then Frodo would be straight up dead and it would have been Gandalf’s decisions that caused it. 
So at this point Boromir’s faith in Aragorn’s ability is pretty low. And no one else in the Fellowship has any interest in leading. Boromir deferred to Aragorn’s judgement because Aragorn’s more knowledgeable of Eriador and also just... a dude who needs to be in control, it’s easy to tell. But now Boromir’s not so sure Aragorn’s up to it, since he seemed to rely on Gandalf so much. 
And then Aragorn tells them all they’re going to go through the Golden Wood. Now Boromir knows from the Rohirrim and Gondorian legend that the Golden Wood is Strange And Scary And Dangerous And Men Who Walk in Never Walk Out Again. And he says this, politely. Aragorn tells him he’s foolish for fearing it and essentially that if people got hurt in the Golden Wood then they deserved it. Again, despite the general discourtesy of these comments, Boromir chooses to believe Aragorn’s judgement. 
The next thing that happens is they are accosted by Haldir, treated like possible enemies or spies (despite Haldir admitting that Elrond had already told them they were coming) and a day and a lot of dwarfphobia later Haldir is threatening Gimli with death. No I’m not joking, Haldir says there’s a law dwarves can’t come into Lothlorien without a blindfold. And when Gimli gets justifiably angry about this and wants to go back if he’s being treated this way, Haldir says he WILL be killed if he tries to leave. Weapons are drawn! The only reason this de-escalates is because Aragorn suggests they all go blindfold because ‘it is hard on the dwarf to be so singled out’. I cannot express to you how soon this happens after Aragorn assures everyone that Lothlorien is safe. I also cannot emphasise enough how Gimli does absolutely nothing to deserve this, he’s polite and kind as ever until Haldir instigates it. 
So again!! Another mark against Aragorn’s reliability! And then we come to the CRUX of the matter, the meeting with Galadriel and Celeborn. 
A lot happens here, some of it very funny in terms of Galadriel’s treatment of Celeborn, but the important part is at the end where Galadriel mind-interrogates all the fellowship but Aragorn and Legolas. Again, this isn’t subtext, in-text it says interrogate. And the fellowship discusses it afterwards. Gimli, Sam, Merry and Frodo all agree that ‘Galadriel offered them a choice, to go back home where they would be safe, or to continue on with the quest though there may be far greater perils ahead’. 
But that couldn’t have been the choice she gave Boromir. Because he can’t go home to be safe and sound away from the evil!! He lives there!! This has been Boromir’s fight his whole life, it has never BEEN a choice for him. And from this moment on Boromir’s manner changes dramatically. He questions Frodo about what Galadriel asked him, he expresses concern about Galadriel’s motives, he says he believes she was TEMPTING HIM (remember that for later), concerns which are, once again, sharply and cruelly dismissed by Aragorn. 
There is then a MONTH of a time skip, we get descriptions of the how the other fellowship spend their time in Lothlorien. Gimli and Legolas become friends. Everyone else grieves Gandalf and has a lovely time in Lothlorien... apparently. 
But Boromir has never had any real positive feelings toward Gandalf and did not show any real grief at his loss initially. And whereas the rest of the fellowship seems respectful and awed by Galadriel and Celeborn, Boromir replies to their questions at the end of the fellowship’s stay in Lothlorien with what I would call veiled anger. `As for me,' said Boromir, `my way home lies onward and not back.' Which is a callback to the interrogation, the stark difference between the motivations and priorities of the rest of the Fellowship in comparison to Boromir. Which became VERY obvious to him in that moment. So I would posit that! Boromir did not have a good time at all! Boromir was stuck somewhere he felt unsafe and unwelcome and every extra second they spent in Lothlorien was yet another moment he was away from his currently-at-war home!!! 
Anyway just before they leave the fellowship is privately discussing what road they should take when Boromir makes a slip of the tongue, where he’d always been articulate and clear before. 
‘But if you wish to destroy the armed might of the Dark Lord, then it is folly to go without force into his domain; and folly to throw away-’ He paused suddenly, as if he had become aware that he was speaking his thoughts aloud. `It would be folly to throw lives away, I mean.'
It is very obvious to Frodo what he actually meant here, and this is where essentially Frodo’s inner monologue lays it all out!
Frodo caught something new and strange in Boromir's glance, and he looked hard at him. Plainly Boromir's thought was different from his final words. It would be folly to throw away: what? The Ring of Power? He had said something like this at the Council, but then he had accepted the correction of Elrond.
The important points in this section are that 1: Boromir has started thinking about the Ring of Power as something usable. 2: He did not think this before now, he had accepted Elrond’s words. This is ‘new and strange’. Something changed here. 
And of course it did! Boromir doesn’t trust any of these clowns anymore. 
Boromir’s advice, priorities and concerns have been almost entirely ignored and derided throughout the fellowship, even from the very moment he arrived in Rivendell! And after nearly freezing on a mountain, being chased by wargs, dragged through a mine of Orcs, a Balrog, threatened by supposed allies and then mind invaded by some elf he’s told to be in awe of, whatever will he had to trust and stay faithful to Aragorn’s decisions is barely hanging on. 
And Galadriel didn’t just invade Boromir’s mind, she was tempting him! He says so himself! And considering the circumstances and how he speaks about it, the only logical conclusion is that she is tempting him with the ring, because Boromir’s shown no sign of conflict or interest in the ring before now. So Galadriel was the one who put that concept into his mind in the first place. It’s Galadriel who initiates Boromir thinking again on whether this was in Gondor’s best interests. And Boromir recognises she’s trying to manipulate him!! Which is fucking heartbreaking!! 
'To me it seemed exceedingly strange,' said Boromir. `Maybe it was only a test, and she thought to read our thoughts for her own good purpose; but almost I should have said that she was tempting us, and offering what she pretended to have the power to give.’ (--)  `Well, have a care! ' said Boromir. `I do not feel too sure of this Elvish Lady and her purposes.'  `Speak no evil of the Lady Galadriel! ' said Aragorn sternly. 'You know not what you say. There is in her and in this land no evil, unless a man bring it hither himself. Then let him beware!’
Do you see?? Do you all see?? Am I making any sense at all?? Well I make sense to ME so lets continue- Here, you see how Aragorn puts all the blame on Boromir again? The twisted knot Boromir is in at this point is unfathomable and EVEN STILL! Boromir resists! For a very long time! This is what I mean when I say any characterisations of Boromir being overemotional or somehow out of control get at me so much, NEVER has a man had so much self discipline in his wholeass life. Boromir’s entire civilisation could be being bulldozed by Minas Morgul at this very moment and yet he takes everything that’s thrown at him without malice and internally continues to desperately hold onto his integrity. 
But that’s what’s at stake! His integrity! Because now he’s grappling with what seems like a choice to either keep faith with the fellowship, stay with them and go where they go despite how much his country needs him, or potentially do something drastic in order to bring a the powerful weapon Gondor seems to have ALWAYS been looking for home to finally actually save his people. Because that’s what Galadriel offered him! And whilst he doesn’t trust her, it’s also in his head now as a logical thing to want! He doesn’t trust Elrond either at this point, so why should he believe what he said about the ring! It’s obvious everyone has boundless ulterior motives!!
Oh! Here’s a good place to try and explain my theory of how the ring’s temptation actually works. The Ring can control people one of two ways. The first we see with Frodo and with Boromir, it takes FULL control of their actions for a split second when they are vulnerable. For Frodo it made him put it on on Weathertop. For Boromir it made him attack Frodo. However this effect is exceedingly temporary and the person effected immediately comes back into themselves and recognises that what they did was outside of their control. 
The other way is often thought of as this like pervasive constant pull to the ring that effects you even just by being around it, wearing you down etc. But I don’t think that’s what happens. I think, in order for the ring to start exerting real dangerous persistant power over you, you have to know it’s power and logically want it. You have to come to that conception yourself, you have to think about it. 
And I have a lot of reasons for this but where it pertains here-!! Boromir is a fine, reliable and solid member of the fellowship RIGHT up until Galadriel’s mind meld. It’s not gradual, he goes from making jokes, carrying Hobbits and fighting Balrogs to BARELY being able to control his speech and biting his nails and staring at Frodo creepily. There is barely any easing into it and it starts with Galadriel!!
And you know what! There’s an even more sinister layer to this because like... WHY was Galadriel doing this mind stuff in the first place? An immediate obvious answer would be to test the fellowship, to make sure everyone was solid enough to carry on, to ensure the folk who continued were focused. But... If that’s the case... and Boromir’s test was the Ring... like... he obviously failed that test right? She was reading his mind! And she does it again before they leave! If we’re to assume that Galadriel’s mind powers are greater than Boromir’s ability to deflect them then... surely she would have known! That this turmoil was in him! And if she KNEW then why didn’t she say anything to anyone? To Aragorn?? But I don’t think yall are ready for that discussion yet tbh and I have to stop typing or I’ll go blind.
TL;DR Boromir didn’t want the Ring until Galadriel tempted him with it and made the idea of it saving Gondor a possibility to him. 
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katiebug445 · 3 years
Text
“I didn’t ask to be commander.”
A late entry for Jearmin week 2021  prompt: run away with me 
@twoboys-onesoul
The world was full of danger. That was something they both knew better than most. From watching friends and strangers alike be killed in front of them, their bodies ripped apart mercilessly as their cries for help were cut off by jaws of titans, to knowing there was a whole world out there, and every person in it wanted them dead. Jean and Armin knew every breath they took had the threat of being their last. 
So what was the point in doing this? 
Jean lay panting on his bed, the familiar ache between his legs becoming noticeable now that Armin wasn’t there, and turned over onto his side to watch him. Armin was already sitting up, gathering his clothes, and the sight made him hurt so badly he could barely stand it. “Do you have to go so soon?” He asked, reaching out and gently tugging Armin’s arm. 
“You know I have to.” 
Jean just sighed, letting his hand fall away, but kept it dangerously close to the other man. “I miss back when we could do this and spend the night together.” 
Armin stiffened, pausing in getting his socks back on, and Jean knew what was coming. “I didn’t ask to be commander, Jean.” He said, his voice tense. 
“I know that. But even Erwin took a minute to himself now and then.” 
Armin froze, and Jean knew he’d taken it a step too far. They had made a silent agreement years ago not to mention Erwin unless they absolutely had to. 
“I’m not Erwin.” Armin said softly, coldly, a tone that always unsettled Jean more than anything. He’d never had it used directly at him before, and he really didn’t like it. “And things are a lot different than when he was commander.” 
Jean fell silent after that, knowing he was right but also knowing that was exactly why Armin needed to take a second to breathe now and then. It wasn’t healthy to take on the entire world and add more and more to it every day. He needed to have a minute to at least drink a cup of tea before he snapped completely. He always had been way too hard on himself, and being thrust into the position unexpectedly only made it worse. Jean knew he lived in both Erwin and Hange’s shadows, the expectation of living up to their strength and wisdom always sat heavy in his heart, and he hated it. 
“Yeah,” was all Jean said. 
Armin stood, pulling his pants on and buttoning up his shirt, and ran his hands through his hair to smooth it down a little. Jean could see the tenseness in his body coming back now that he had a moment to think, and part of him wanted to beg the other man to come back to bed and do whatever he wanted to him as long as it meant he could get some of it out. 
Surprisingly, Armin sat back down on the side of the mattress when he finished, the air heavy with repressed emotions, and the only sound between them being Armin’s unsteady breaths. Jean knew he was trying not to cry, and a pang of guilt shot through him knowing that it was his fault he’d gotten so worked up. Pulling the sheets up over his lower half, Jean scooted closer and ran his hand over Armin’s back to offer some sort of comfort. 
Much to his alarm, though, Armin bowed his head and let out a sound that never failed to break Jean’s heart. He choked a sob and curled deep into himself, like he always did when he fell apart, and pulled away from the warmth of Jean’s hand. 
Jean scooted even closer, but Armin squirmed away again, and he wasn’t having it. Jean followed after him as the other man really started to break, and before he could protest, he had his arms around him and was holding him securely, kissing softly at the top of his head. 
“I never asked for this.” Armin said again, his voice soft and wavering as he reached up and laid his hands over Jean’s arms. “I-I never wanted this.” 
Jean shushed him, holding him while he got everything out. 
It took ages for Armin to calm down, but that was okay. Jean knew it had been a long time since he’d been able to, and it was the best thing for him to do it. When his sobs finally quieted, Jean ran his hand over Armin’s hair, laying his head against the blond’s, and whispered: “Why don’t we just leave? Just us. We can go right now and make for the ocean, build a house on the beach, and spend the rest of our lives there.” 
“Are you fine with living the majority of yours alone?” Armin asked brokenly. “Because I’m not going to be with you long.” 
Beside him, Jean exhaled. “It would be worth it to me.” He promised. 
“It would be worth losing whatever chance we have at stopping Eren?” Armin asked, pulling back and looking confusedly at Jean. “What if we could find a way to stop this? To break this curse?” He had little hope they would, but he knew Jean believed it. 
“You know that’s not what I meant.” 
Armin did know, but how could he let himself accept that? He wasn’t a good person anymore; he’d completely abandoned his humanity for the sake of Eldia’s future, and the only thing left was an awful, broken shell of a man who was in over his head. He wasn’t like Jean. He didn’t deserve the love the other man showed so openly for him in moments like this. 
“How about this then,” Jean started, pulling back a little and looking at Armin’s face. “We stop Eren, we find a way to break the curse, and then you and me run away and leave the rest of this behind. I think we’ve more than earned a peaceful life, haven’t we?” 
Hearing him say that brought on a fresh wave of tears, and Armin shook his head, burying his face in Jean’s chest. “Don’t talk like that.” He begged. 
“Why not?” 
“Because something could happen.” Armin sniffed, clinging even tighter to him. “I don’t… I don’t want to make promises we might not be able to keep.” 
“But that’s exactly why we should make it.” Jean argued. “Because if we do, then we have to keep it. No matter what.” 
“It doesn’t work like that.” 
“What doesn’t?” 
“Life.” Armin breathed, his eyes slipping shut as he leaned heavy on Jean’s chest. “I don’t want to make any plans until I know we’re both safe.”
Jean inhaled deeply and Armin found some small comfort in feeling that breath, knowing that Jean was still there with him. They’d made it this far and still had each other, and despite himself a small, hopeful part of him began imagining that house on the beach.
Neither of them had much of an idea on how to build things like that, so Armin figured it would be a simple structure, with the necessities only, and maybe… maybe two more built a little ways away for Connie and Mikasa. Aside from Jean, she was the only person he had left in the world, and he knew he was for her too. There was no way he’d be able to leave her behind while he went off on his own. And he knew it was the same for Jean with Connie. 
The idea of waking up every morning with sand under his feet and the sound and smell of the ocean to greet him, with a long, long life ahead of him to spend with the man he loved… it sounded perfect. It was everything he could have ever dreamed of, and it terrified him. Dreams died so easily in the world, and usually ended with the dreamer left in a bloody heap on the ground, but still that small, hopeful piece of him held tight to that image, that feeling, and wouldn’t let it go. 
It was quiet for a little while as they held each other, and after a moment, Jean pressed a lingering kiss to the top of his head. “I’m not giving up on that house.” He murmured, the warmth of Armin’s body making him sleepy. 
Instead of replying, Armin pulled out of his grip and, deciding to humor the other man a little, lay back down on the bed and got under the blankets with him. Jean smiled in the low light and lay down, too, melting when he felt Armin’s arm slip around his middle and hold onto him. A quiet promise that he would stay with him in the only way he felt comfortable making one.
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monsterywriting · 3 years
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Thenerius - pt 1
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masterlist
word count: 4,555
male tiefling x female reader
AN: this is planned as a two-parter, like Adam, just super long because i want to make “shorter” (i.e. not a bunch of parts) stories so i can keep up better.
The Deep was a small inn with an attached tavern overlooking the ocean about an hour’s ride from the nearby port city of Alfore. The location was not entirely by accident, or so your boss claims, and it definitely was not a miscalculation of Alfore’s outward expansion when purchasing the land.
Nevertheless, against all odds, Mr. Thistle’s business managed to prevail despite the city’s outer limits remaining largely unchanged for the better part of a decade. His secret to paying his taxes on time was largely thanks to his clientele, taking in those not traditionally welcome within the city limits. To put it bluntly, pirates.
It was your second year working at The Deep but your entire life had been spent within it’s pine walls, your mother having worked here before you. Though you weren’t quite used to being a worker there, there was one thing of which you were certain: you have made more gold in these two years than you had with the salary of a scribe for the capital’s archives in five.
Whenever a pirate crew blew in with the with the sea breeze, the drunken tips of coin and jewelry of dubious origins were almost worth the whirlwind of destruction left in the wake of their days-long benders.
But at present, that period of prosperity was still months away and you were currently struggling to clean the tavern when all you wanted was to curl up in front of the fire on the far side of the room.
There weren’t many guests staying overnight this time of year, whatever handful of travelers entering Alfore by land were willing to stop so close to their destination, but the tavern was never truly empty.
You relaxed slightly as you approached the fireplace, taking your time dusting the mantel as the heat thawed your freezing body.
It was about two-thirds of the way into your third straight shift, the night before having started off promising. A rare merchant ship’s crew stopped by the tavern for the evening at the end of your first trip, but the tips hadn’t been impressive so you had agreed to stay and help the morning shift expecting the clean up to be worse than it actually was.
With over an hour left in your shift, everything was spotless and you had little else to do but pretend to dust as close to the fireplace as you could.
A tap on your shoulder nearly made you topple over the old trinkets on the mantel, Lenora giggling at your reaction behind you. She was a pretty young woman, clearly descending at least in part from the sea, though you never asked her any specifics.
“I hope winter ends early this year,” she sighed, setting down an armful of cleaned mugs on the bar counter, “I hardly got any tips last night, and those assholes ran me ragged filling their ales! Even the pirates would at least leave a gold coin a piece for that!”
“Tova willing,” You snort, slipping behind the bar and stowing the mugs away in their place underneath the counter, inclined to agree with Lenora before a yawn escaped you, your hand quickly covering your mouth as you were unable to contain it.
“You should go sleep in my room for a bit,” she suggested gently, wiping down the wet spots where the mugs had been with her rag, “We’re pretty much finished and you had a long night.”
“I’m fine,” you replied tersely, unwilling to admit how tempting the offer was, “my shift’s almost over.”
Before Lenora could argue with you, Thistle poked his head out of his office and called you into it.
By the time you entered the cramped room - once an extra supply closet - he was already behind his desk, writing something furiously that you couldn’t see over the towering stacks of papers surrounding him
Mr. Thistle was a halfling, the only one you’d ever seen even among all the people at the port. You didn’t know much about them, other than what you observed from your boss. Despite his youthful appearance, you knew for a fact he was much older than he appeared. And, in his case, his personality very much fit his namesake, his tongue and wit both sharper than perhaps was wise.
“What are you still doing here? Your shift ended an hour ago,” Mr. Thistle didn’t look up from his paperwork, his voice sounding almost bored, though you had known him long enough to recognize that it wasn’t a rhetorical question.
“You agreed to let me take on more shifts last month, Mr. Thistle,” you answered.
“You have been here for twenty-four straight hours,” Mr. Thistle frowned, “Rose will kill me for overworking you once she’s well enough to visit.”
You swallowed a growing lump in your throat, shaking your head emphatically, “Please, sir, at least let me finish this shift. You know I’ll work hard and I need the money…”
“Sir? When have you ever called me that?” He spat, but you knew him well enough to know he was cracking, “Fine, finish your shift. But you’re out of here by noon! And I don’t want to see you again until next weekend.”
“Thank you!” You said as you walked out the room, deciding to get one last word in over your shoulder before slamming the door shut behind you, “You’re the best god-dad, sir!”
Just as you returned to the bar with a new vigor, the bell hanging above the tavern entrance rang as it was struck by the opening door.
You and Lenora glanced at each other before turning to see who had arrived at such an odd time of day and season.
“Thenerius!” You cried out once you saw exactly who was ducking down to pass through the entryway without his horns knocking into the doorframe, exaggerated cheer masking your shock at seeing the pirate captain in the middle of winter.
He smirked as he strode up to the bar, his purple hand lifting to dig around his breast pocket for a bag of gold he dropped on the counter for you to take. You quickly hand it off to Lenora to put in the inn’s safe, ignoring her not-so-subtle wink at you and practically skip into the kitchen to help pass out the first round of ales.
You weren’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth, all too happy to greet any customer you knew had gold and play the part of eye candy for them.
Any boredom or exhaustion you felt from your back to back shifts vanished as the solution to your stress magically appeared before you.
Thinking ahead, you save Thenerius’ table for last and no sooner do you set down the four pitchers of ales you’d been carrying is the tiefling pulling you down to sit on his lap. You quickly slide off to sit at his side, allowing him to keep an arm around you. You feel a bit self conscious, knowing you probably smell worse for wear after three straight shifts, but he doesn’t seem to mind as he downs his first mug of ale.
Glancing around, you note that the other crew members didn’t look nearly as jovial to be here in the snow as their captain did. It was definitely dangerous to be navigating the waters this far north this time of year, the winds less reliable and ice tending to form bergs out where there was no hope for rescue, not to mention that pirates tended to stick to the beaches in the south while they waited for winter to pass.
“What are you doing here so early?” You ask, unable to hide your curiosity at how two out-of-season crews managed to stop at the inn, this one more surprising than the merchants.
“The winds were favorable,” Thenerius beamed down at you, though that still didn’t answer the question of why they’d want to leave the south now of all times. Seemingly sensing your dissatisfaction with the answer, he flung an arm around your shoulder and pulled you close, his voice lowering to a hushed whisper that tickled the shell of your ear, “and I simply had to come see my treasure as soon as I could.”
You giggle and pretend to turn your head in a bashful display, inwardly cringing at the nickname. You’re all too happy, however, to accept Thenerius’ hand slipping into your skirts and feel gold pieces clinking together as he drops the coins into your pocket. You accept his flirting and flirt back yourself, tolerating his occasionally hand fondling as he laughed and drank all night. Well, that made it sound more lecherous than it actually was.
Thenerius was obsessed with your hands, feeling the pads of your fingers and rubbing circles on the back of them. You had asked him why when he first asked you if he could hold them, having stared at them constantly before then. He said because they were soft, and you understood. Your hands were no dainty things, the beginnings of some callouses here and there, especially where you held your pen, but they were like a newborn’s in comparison to his, roughened from working on boats his entire adult life.
He also demanded a lot of your attention, constantly keeping conversations with you going when you wished nothing more than to just sit there and fall asleep from his ministrations. Nevertheless, you’d complement Thenerius and look impressed as he recounts the harrowing adventures he’d experienced in the past year and dutifully feel his new scars on his already scar-riddled body in feigned awe.
The man had an ego the size of a small island, an easy enough thing to stroke in order to get a better haul of tips at the end of it all. Other’s also provide company as you are, you even catch Lenora’s eye with a smile as she leads a minotaur into the inn portion of the building. You resist the urge to shake your head, unable to believe she was turning in so early in the day. Mr. Thistle definitely wouldn’t approve, but you were no snitch.
Though, you never let Thenerius get that close to you, drawing the line whenever the tiefling attempted to push the envelope of acceptable public behavior, acting coy when you needed to and sometimes only narrowly managing to avoid his attacking lips by keeping his mouth busy downing more ale.
He was even more clingy than the ones who just wanted to fuck you, but dealing with Captain Thenerius of the Red Night was second nature to you now, well worth the flirting game you two have played for the past two years. Just keep him company until he was piss drunk, and then it was easy enough to extract yourself from his grasp and actually help the others run the tavern. He was by far the customer with the loosest purse strings, always throwing gold around like he were some purple holiday saint.
The constant boasting and drunken attempts at kissing were turn-offs even with his admittedly handsome features when sober. But, he was about as harmless as you were willing to think a pirate, never demanding more of you in the carnal sense, and he was constantly slipping you extra coins, so you remained pleasant.
Realistically, you knew the gold was more likely than not blood money, given his occupation. However, it made no difference to you where the money came from so long as it ended up in your pocket, and the tiefling only ever sought you out when he visited.
You coo at Thenerius’ virility as he flexed before you, your hands on his bicep and nodding along with whatever he told you, both of you ignoring how his crew was gagging and groaning at your cavity-inducing display.
You truly had one person to thank for your position as the pirate captain’s favorite in The Deep: Paloma, a former worker at the tavern herself before she fell pregnant and got married. Once she knew she would no longer be working at The Deep, she had introduced you.
Frankly, the tiefling had shown no interest in you at first, his eyes never straying from Paloma as she worked bringing out supper. It had been awkward - you had barely started working at the inn after emerging from the archives where your only contact with another soul had been through books written by long-dead authors. You had not yet perfected the art of flirting with customers, and you definitely weren’t one to fight for a man’s attention.
It was by pure luck you happened recognize the origin of one of Thenerius’ rings, and even more luck that his attention had actually been on the on the table shuffling a deck of cards when you commented on it, the ensuing conversation what finally got you on his radar.
However, even as you grew comfortable falling into the role of companion for the pirate whenever he blew into town, you were never so foolish as to fall for him or any of the other pirates from different crews that took a shining to you, as some of the other girls were prone to do.
You held no illusion that the Thenerius that would cuddle you like a child would their favorite toy after a few pitchers of ale was born out of anything more than loneliness from a pirate who was likely holding his first warm body after months at sea. And who knew whose body he held after months going back to the other side of the world.
Even if the visits were like clockwork, it was only a few weeks out of the year and their free spirits and lifestyles only spelled heartbreak for those whose lives were spent on land.
And even you could appreciate the fun of the pastime. It definitely wasn’t torture; Thenerius was on the handsomer end of the pirate spectrum, meticulously looking after his appearance and general health even on long stretches at sea. It was hard to tell how much older than you he was, his appearance both rugged from the sea and boyish from his mannerisms, and his choice in outfits were… colorful, to say the least, always wearing the most expensive fabrics he acquired during his travels - which somehow always tended to be the gaudiest.
Though you would never allow yourself to fall for him, maybe you would have at least bedded him had he not ended every night shitfaced, though that bit was partially your doing.
After an hour, and Thenerius is relying on the wall to stay upright more than himself, you try to slip out of the booth as quietly as you can. However, just as you’re about to stand, arms suddenly snake around your waist and pull you ungracefully back down. An undignified yelp escapes you, and it takes all your willpower to not let your instinct to fight against your captor win.
Once you turn, he is staring quite intensely at you, though he fortunately makes no attempt to kiss you. Involuntarily, you begin to turn red at his scrutiny, knowing pretty words won’t placate the tiefling on the rare occasions he goes completely silent like this.
“My shift is almost over,” you whisper, awkwardly pulled an arm out from Thenerius’ hold to pat his cheek gently, “I have to go.”
To your surprise, Thenerius actually lets go on the first try. However, he also rose to his feet and followed you out the tavern and to the stables. He was silent as he watched you ready your horse, so quiet you may have forgotten he was there had you not felt his stare upon your so sharply. Just as you passed him leading your horse out into the courtyard believing Thenerius to just be drunk, he calls out to you.
You stop in the courtyard, looking up at the tiefling in curiosity as his hand dove into his coat pocket to pull out a beautifully intricate golden ring with emeralds encrusted along the braided band.
Normally, your weren’t a fan of such gifts, preferring more liquid assets over something so valuable that you were expected to keep and wear in front of the giver. However, you found yourself making an exception as the ring was so breathtaking you needed to put on no act as you thanked Thenerius and took it carefully from his calloused fingers.
“I love it,” you smiled, trying the ring on each finger until it slid snugly down your right index. You presented the ring to the pirate captain, laughing as you watched his tail swishing behind him and the way his entire expression lit up seeing you wear his gift.
“Actually,” Thenerius cleared his throat, sounding almost nervous as he took your hands in his before you could climb onto your horse, and you cursed your heart for leaping into your throat as his thumb stroked lazy circles over your knuckles.
You manage not to wrench your hands out of Thenerius’ sudden grasp, watching as his thumb and forefinger slowly pull the ring off your right hand. The confusion must be apparent on your face as he chuckled and whispered reassurances as he transferred the ring to your left hand, the fourth finger before your pinky.
It took you a moment of staring to register what was happening, your body only kickstarting into action when Thenerius was in the process of kneeling before you, “I was hoping to do this tonight in front of my crew, but if you’re leaving now-”
Like an automaton finally kicking to life, you took in a gasping breath and closed your fists around the collar of Thenerius’ coat, not caring how you appeared as you pulled him back up before his knee could touch the dusty ground and there was evidence of what was about to transpire.
He fought against you at first, but when you growled out a stern “stop!” he allowed you to haul him back to his feet.
“What’s wrong?” Thenerius had the nerve to look hurt as you yanked the ring off your finger and shove it back into his hand.
“What’s wrong? You’re proposing to me, damn it!” You nearly shouted, managing to curb your temper despite doubting anyone inside would be able to hear you.
You were teetering a dangerous edge, yelling as you were at a pirate of all people, and who knows what he did to get the damned ring, but you were too caught up in your own anger to care that he could easily kill you where you stood. You were too busy feeling as though your world was crashing around you. Things were good. Why did he have to go and ruin it all by doing this? Why couldn’t he just… continue your game in perpetuity. It wasn’t the first proposal you’ve gotten at work, but it was definitely the one that hurt the most.
“I love you,” Thenerius croaked, “I thought-”
“Love? You must be out of your damned mind,” you scoff in disbelief, “You’ve only seen me three times in two years. less than four weeks total. And you’re proposing? You love anyone who bats their eyelashes at you for gold?”
“That’s not true,” Thenerius said, appearing so stricken by your episode you had to avert your eyes to the sheer pain in his own, “You didn’t do it for the gold. You care for me as deeply as I care for you.”
You turn to your saddle, pulling out a burlap sack from your bag and forcing it open. You pull out a tangle of jewelry, necklaces, earrings, even a ring or two.
“I needed the gold, that’s it.”
Thenerius stares blankly at you, and you take his distraction as an opportunity to jump on your horse and ride off.
You don’t slow until you knew The Deep was far behind you, finally allowing your mare to walk the rest of the way home once you’re confident you put enough space between you and the pirate. You didn’t relax until you saw the familiar barn roof above the treetops ahead.
“I’m home!” You called from the doorway, immediately struck by the stillness of the house as unease settled deep in the pit of your stomach.
Pushing back the unpleasant thoughts, certain it was rooted in what had transpired at work, you ventured deeper into the cottage, making your way to the bedroom.
“Mother?” Your call goes unanswered as you enter, smiling softly when you saw her still wrapped up in the bed.
The fire on the far side of the room was burning low, so you threw another log in it before going to sit on the chair at the side of the bed to remove your work clothes.
Just as you were about to crawl into bed, you notice the open book still by your mother and walked around to grab it. It was an old book you immediately recognized, the hand-drawn illustrations and worn pages all too familiar from your childhood. You carefully mark her place with the torn piece of paper she always used and set it on her bedside table.
Glancing at your mother, now closer, you couldn’t help the uneasiness that crept back to the forefront of you mind as you realized how peacefully she was sleeping.
No rattling breathing, no tossing or turning, none of what had plagued your mother’s nights since she first fell ill. A chill ran up your spine as you reached out a tentative hand to brush against her cheek, relief making your legs weak when she grunts at your disturbance and rolls over onto her back.
“What is it?” She yawned, starting to emerge from her blanket cocoon.
“Nothing, I just got back,” you whispered, smoothing back her hair from her eyes, “Have you taken your medicine today?”
She nodded, already drifting off again. You sighed, any thought of sleep gone from your mind from the scare.
You decide to spend the rest of the day outside, finishing all the chores that had piled up while you were gone. First, you had to clean your horse’s hooves, then feed the chickens and gather their eggs, milk your goats and finally take the cured meat our of your small smokehouse.
It was still strange being home, even after so much time had passed since leaving your life at the capital. You had once swore you’d never return to the tiny cottage, leaving to make your own way in this world.
But circumstance led you back home, despite making many offers to have your mother move in with you at the capital. She insisted, however, that she preferred the peace and quiet the country offered her, though you knew in truth she couldn’t leave the home your father had built, the memories and perhaps some buried hope that he may one day return for her keeping her firmly rooted.
By the time you were able to turn in for the day, you were completely drained of all energy. In truth, your exhaustion had begun to catch up to you once you went into the barn to bring your horse out, but you had persevered to finish everything that needed to be done.
Rather than immediately knock out as you wanted, you sat at the table and counted your coins from your past few shifts.
“That’s a lot more than I ever made in two days,” your mother hummed, glancing over your shoulder as she made her way from the kitchen to set two plates filled with steaming food in front of you.
“It was a busy couple days,” you smile. If she notices how strained it is, your mother makes no comment, “I’ll have enough to buy enough medicine for the next few months.”
“I hope that means you’ll finally take some time off,” she huffed, “I’m beginning to forget I don’t live alone anymore.”
“Mr. Thistle banned me from going back to The Deep until next weekend,” you chuckle, feeling a small bit of tension release from your shoulders at how your mother’s face lit up at the mention of her old friend.
“Oh, how is Aedan?” She asked excitedly. She was the only person brave enough to cll Thistle by his first name, or at least the only one he allowed to live afterwards.
“You know, we’d all feel better if you moved into the inn,” you said, not looking up as you deposited your final coin into your purse, knowing your mother’s response before she even spoke.
“For the last time, I’m not leaving my home and neither you or Aedan are going to convince me any different,” she said, her voice rising until a coughing fit overtaking her.
You grimaced as you watched her body curl in on itself, her entire frame shaking with the coughs. Still, you made no move to help, knowing she would only wave you off.
You bit back everything you wished to say, fighting the urge to shake her and tell her the man who abandoned both of you was never coming back, that it was dangerous for her to stay here by herself.
“I’m going to bed,” you say instead, taking your half-eaten plate to the sink and dropping the rest into the scrap pile for the chickens.
As you lay in bed, you turn your head to look at the book your mother had been reading. It was a collection of fairytales, the same book she used to read to you to sleep as a young child. You had loved it back then, the stories of a wily pirate crew’s adventures in far off lands.
Once you grew older and could read the dedication on the blank space of the cover page, you’d refused to listen to the stories any longer, though your mother would still stay up late to read its pages alone.
It had been a gift from your father to you as a baby, before he stopped showing back up. He couldn’t resist the call of the sea, a pirate at heart, your mother had said, but he would return to the two of you one day. You scoffed.
Reaching over, you pull the book onto your lap, flipping the cover open in the lamplight. You stared down at the elegant ink script, the looping cursive rivaling that of even the senior scribes in your prior occupation but remaining as secretive as ever.
You once wondered what your father thought as he wrote the small paragraph, if he knew he would leave your mother at the same time he professed his love and hope for you. Now, you had too many other things to worry about to remain bitter over someone who may well have long since forgotten you.
You mind wanders for a moment, a purple face with lovestruck eyes crossing your consciousness for a moment you quickly stifle, an underdeveloped question cut short before it could fully form and haunt you. You place the book back to where your mother kept it, finally able to keep your eyes closed once your head hits your pillow.
Would he leave, too? And then, nothing.
part 2
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