#cause it felt like the main issue wasn't really addressed??

[lloydfrontera]

related to that last post that's kinda why i think cpsm revealing that javier had died three years earlier than lloyd is poignant in a very understated way.

javier's original fate was to live when everyone he cared about didn't. he was meant to be the protagonist of that world, to face all kind of threats and survive all of them, but with no one at his side.

he's the narrative's favorite but the narrative's love is not gentle and it is not kind and it will hold you close until you suffocate under its themes and parallels. for the world would bend itself for javier to be at it's center but it would not allow him the comfort of sharing that spot with anyone else.

he was always meant to be the last one standing. fate won't kill him but it won't allow him to die either.

and then comes lloyd with his plot breaking meddling saving everyone around them and shoving his way into the protagonist role, sharing the burden javier wasn't even aware he was carrying. and fate tries so hard to correct itself, it tries by all means possible to put things back the way they were meant to be, but in the end the best it can do is to try and make it so there will only be one main character in the world. the way it was always meant to be.

it concedes. it won't take away everything from its favorite anymore. but it won't stand for there to be two of them.

and the thing is. it wins. it gets what it wants. in the end javier can't save lloyd, he can't take his place, he can't keep him alive, he has to stand and watch him sacrifice himself for everyone else. for javier himself. in the end when the battle is over javier is again the last one standing.

when lloyd comes back and the fate restoration doesn't start up all over again, he thinks it's because lloyd frontera's original body disappeared and he came back in his own body. i don't think it was that. i think the reason fate didn't try to restore itself again is because it had already achieved what it wanted.

the narrative won. not completely. not the way it was originally meant to. but in the end javier ended up as the lone protagonist who watched his loved one die before his eyes.

only then was it satisfied and allowed javier to leave its grasp. only then was he allowed to become a person and not just the main character.

a person who could spend a lifetime with all of his loved ones and when the time came, die peacefully in his sleep, knowing at least the person he came to care the most about will outlive him. at least this time, he won't be the one left behind.

#i talk a lot <3 #tged #the greatest estate developer #tged spoilers #javier asrahan #lloyd frontera #i always thought the ending of tged was kinda weird #cause it felt like the main issue wasn't really addressed?? #like. everything lloyd accomplished was still there. his soul was there. his rp his titles his effects his summons his abilities #everything was still there. why would the body he was in be the problem?? he's still the same person that disrupted the fate of the world #does that mean that if he had isekai'd in his own body the restoration of fate wouldn't have been an issue?? #he could've changed the plot in its entirety and fate wouldn't have had a problem with that?? #so personally i think his death. the even itself. had more to do with it than anything. #him dying was like. a trigger event for fate to be satisfied. #it couldn't stand having two protagonists and all of its plot disrupted. so when one of them died leaving the other one with 'tragedy' #it counted it as good enough and finally stopped trying to give the main character the tragic backstory and traumatic events #he was meant to go through. #does that make any sense to anyone. does it. #anyway it does to me so that's my headcanon ajshdksda #can you tell. i like metanarratives. and fate as a character onto itself. #can you tell i come from the [OMITTED] fandom ajhdjaadsf

[traumacatholic]

Finally kind of feel in a position where I can post this. I realise that my last post and long disappearance was probably of great concern to some people, and I am deeply sorry for any worry or pain that I've caused other people with that long disappearance. There was a lot going on in my life, including moving house. And I think the longer I took a break from Tumblr, the more daunting it came to come back. But the fact of the matter is, I've cried over this blog a lot. Or rather, I've cried over the followers of this blog and the people that have engaged with it. I have been dealing with a great sense of guilt. Guilt that I've let you guys down. Guilt that I've betrayed you in some way.

Something that always pained me, was the reality of my own struggle to access mental health support. It's an unfortunate reality, that no matter how many times we might work to raise awareness, and tackle stigma surrounding mental health (particularly complex mental health issues like OCD or PTSD or Schizophrenia, etc). That this doesn't do much to tackle the core issue that's the main struggle for people: accessible healthcare. Be that to do with any financial costs or lengthy waiting lists or other issues. There was a sense of deep guilt of encouraging people to seek help, whilst also being fully aware that they might be even more disheartened if they reached out for help and were unable to get anything substantial. I would never want to build someone's hopes up in order to then shatter them. I've experienced it all too much with trying to access support on my own.

I also felt really guilty running this blog when I was struggling with Church attendance. It felt like I was lying about my piety, to people that were desperately trying to fight to be able to attend their Church and to be a part of Church life. I'm in a city now, and I've started attending Church regularly. I've been trying to get into the practice of daily prayer, and the daily readings of theological texts alongside Scripture. Some days are better than others, but then I guess that's always going to be the case. Something that was really deeply meaningful to me during RCIA was being told that conversion to the faith wasn't a one and done thing. Each day, we are constantly converting back. We are constantly returning to God and being renewed in our relationship with God, no matter how far we stumble or what kind of problems we stumble into - willing and unwillingly.

And this is where it gets, I guess, the scariest. I've been dealing a lot with anxieties and doubts surrounding my faith. Not in the, "Hey guys sorry I've taken a break and became atheist" kind of way. But I've been feeling a strong pull towards Orthodox Christianity. And the Church I've been attending, has been an Orthodox one. I don't know. It feels weird to type that one out. It felt so weird to call myself Catholic for a long time. And then I became so happy of the title, and I loved the faith. I still do, love Catholicism. But I think this is something I need to explore. I've been feeling the draw to Orthodoxy for a long time, and I always kept pushing it away. But I think the only real way I can really address it, is by actually giving it a fair chance and exploration.

I don't know what I'll do with this blog. I don't intend to delete it - I think there are still people that can find help and comfort from the prayers that I've posted. I do have a new Tumblr, where I post excerpts from Orthodox texts I've been reading. I do still feel really strongly about helping people struggling with mental and physical health issues, trauma survivors etc. I care intensely about that work. And it's why this post pains me so much. I still want to be able to give you guys help, you can always send a message over to my new blog @orthodoxadventure if you're in need of any prayers or advice surrounding mental health/trauma etc (also despite the circumstances, I did go through RCIA, and if anyone has any questions surrounding it, I'll try my best to answer) , and I think I'm going to make it a habit to check the blog here.

I'm deeply sorry to anyone that I've hurt by doing this. I would really appreciate your prayers. None of this is, particularly easy. I feel like I've let down and hurt so many people. But I also knew that the more I tried to resist the interest of Orthodoxy, the more I felt that I was letting myself down and letting my relationship with God down. Maybe in some time, I will return to Catholicism, much more content and happy and more knowledgeable in that choice. Maybe I will go further down the path to the Orthodox Church. But I knew I couldn't just feel like I was sitting on the fence any longer. I hope that you will be able to forgive me for this, and I intend to keep you all in my prayers.

[felassan]

Illuminating tweet series by a former Anthem developer [source].

They mention elsewhere in the thread that Anthem was developed in 15 months. Per the tweets, before this period, it spent 5-6 years in pre-production, lacking a clear vision and with an ever-changing vision; in game development this causes a lot of working and reworking. The devs were talented and all passionate about the game, but they were building "a new IP from nothing on an engine that was meant for an FPS with half a team that had never created live service games".

They further elaborate in more tweets that:

EA had their reasons to release it early but were stupid and the devs' team "had to pay the price". EA learned a lot from the development of Anthem but whether they applied those learnings is unknown

Jason Schreier's article (How BioWare's Anthem Went Wrong) was all 100% true at one point in development or other, and only scratches the surface

How did they manage to ship it in 15 months? The dev mentions working about 90 hours a week for 15 months. Many other devs on the team were also doing so and they think that others were doing 90 hours a week prior to the 15 month mark. "It wasn't sustainable and not even a position we should have been in." "I'm fine now, but not without damage. Contributed to the cost of my marriage and I needed therapy for a while after that endeavor." "It was a lot of morale hits on a personal level and a team level. Everyone had their own way of dealing with it." "There was a lot of pissed, stressed, rinse, repeat. It was a vicious cycle." "I guarantee we could have put something out in Unreal. Working in Frostbite was rough." After launch the team got death threats because of drop rates

Anthem was delayed as it had missing features, lack of polish and bugs that needed fixing. Another big problem that it faced was that it had lots of scope creep. "There were really high expectations for this game and the team felt it. We always were trying to push for cool features, etc.. So I think we could have done it if we kept our scope creep in check."

The main team was focused on getting the game out in a functional state. "We really needed another 1-2 studios to make endgame content while we were finishing up the game."

After launch it was all hands on deck to stabilize the game. Content and features that they wanted to do consequently kept getting deprioritized. A major focus they were trying to address at launch was all the server issues. "I think the shittiest part about this, besides no endgame and replay ability, was that during development, management was putting in gating mechanics to 'lengthen' the time it took to complete the story. IIRC it was removed from the final version after backlash from devs."

"It was a great team effort to get the controls how we shipped. We went through many iterations and it was super rough in the beginning. I know the team was really happy where the controls landed too. We actually took in a lot of feedback from the EA game changers."

A Twitter user asked "When you say it wasn’t ready, was that always communicated with other members of the team i.e. publishers?". The dev replied "I think it was ignored/denied from leadership. There is a story there, but I will refrain."

A transparent retrospective on Anthem/its development will likely never come to light because of both current and former devs still being under NDA

The dev has an assumption that if they didn't release Anthem, BioWare would have been dissolved. They also observe that BioWare just wasn't good at multi-project development, which is hard. Most people at BioWare didn't believe in "BioWare Magic". There was and maybe still is a lot of stress and politics surrounding Anthem from the development and publishing side (a problem not specific to Anthem). The dev mentioned that it was both an EA failure and a BioWare upper management failure. "I actually don't think it was all EA's fault. A developer and publisher is supposed to be a healthy relationship of trust and transparency. It's a 2 way street which i don't think was satisfied on either side."

Re: who made the decision to release the game in the state it was, some of them left and some remain at BioWare

On Anthem 2.0/Anthem Next, the game was really fun and was going in the right direction. The team had hit a really great milestone, when EA canned it. It was a different development team driving Anthem 2.0. The team were gutted when it was cancelled

(please note it's always best to read tweets and the like in full and in context, from the original source)

[source]

#bioware #anthem #video games #long post #longpost #death threat mention #death threats mention

[inslumber]

Hello!

So I feel like i should probably address the Voidbeau account thing since it seems like some of you have been wondering about it.

For those who have no idea and don't care, you may keep scrolling lmaooo.

Anyway!!!

First of all I want to say, sorry if I worried anyone! I genuinely didn't think anyone would notice if I'm being quite honest.

Secondly, it was a spur of the moment action based on something I've been thinking of doing as far back as December.

I've wanted to take a break from the Fandom for a really, REALLY long time.

It's been doing crazy things to my head space. Both good and bad.

First of all, y'all have been great. So super cool and supportive, I can't thank y'all enough!!! ^^

I've been able stay on top of my art better than I have in years and it's so nice. The Fandom has kept me sane while I flounder irl with mental health issues and other fun real world Beau problems.

Problem is, my anxiety- among other things, likes to take a big fat dump on anything i do for myself. So while I was thriving for a while, what was once something that was helping me turned into the thing eating me alive.

I started to feel like I needed to do better and better eveytime, to the point where my own standards were set to unreachable heights. I became obsessed with validation via notes. I started to hate my own work. I felt like I wasn't good enough and I realized like, man this isn't fun anymore...

I got so stuck in this cycle of unhealthy thinking but if I tried to take a break I'd only be able to stay logged out for maybe a day. If even that.

I felt so anxious if I wasn't creating. I was so restless all the time and I felt if I wasn't working on the next project I'd "fall behind" or something silly like that.

It was very strange to say the least.

So finally what happened after months of struggling with it, I just kind of woke up and was like, "fuck it. I'm pulling the plug." And I deleted VoidBeau.

I do kind of regret it.

So many headcannons lost and asks unanswered.

I wish I had saved them somewhere.

Oh well. We can rebuild.

Eventually.

For now, consider me still on break for a while while I beat my demons into submission. And if/when I do come back- which I probably will cause my brain is still being eaten alive by twomp thoughts, I won't be doing it here. This is just some throw away side account to sort of announce that I'm still breathing.

My main is @hereliesbou

I might still upload art from time to time but for now I'll just be focusing on ocs or different Fandoms.

But twomp is still the #1 fandom of my heart.

So for now in terms of twomp...

I am, In Slumber.

See you next time! o/

#is on vacation #😎 #love y'all #also sorry if anyone has ever #tried to reach out to get to know me #im hard to talk to #its the signature #social anxiety cock block #im either nervously awkward #or i dont say anything #no inbetween #im working on it #the thoughts are very noisy #when they tell me #people secretly hate me #and im learning how to shut them up still #ok bye fer real #voidbeau #twomp #i guess lol

[suchine-toki]

Thoughts about Gintoki

Many things have been said about this man. This time I would like to address Gintoki's character development and the differences between the tentative ending of Be Forever Yorozuya (BFY) and the actual ending of the series.

Gintoki is quite lonely when the story begins. For 10 years he has kept his distance from everyone else, Otose being the only exception. It has been speculated that Gintoki wanted to end his life after all he had gone through, and it’s for that reason that he arrives at the graveyard, staying out in the open, with snow piling up on his body when she arrives. There he decides to try one more time.

As time goes by, after forming the new Yorozuya, Gintoki begins to open up to others a little more. He reconnects with Zura and Sakamoto and also makes many more friends. However, he still has problems, which keep coming up in the series in different ways; sometimes more comical, sometimes more serious. But it’s a fact that he deals with certain addictions and psychological issues.

One of these issues is addressed in BFY. Despite having many friends, his low self-esteem leads Gintoki to consider that he’s not really important to those around him. This coupled with him being the cause of the chaos that has befallen the world only exacerbates that feeling and his self-sacrificial tendencies.

I've seen people compare the second movie (BFY) to the third (The Final), usually leaning towards the former because it's a self-contained story, while the latter is the conclusion of a much longer arc. While I think that's part of the reason, I don't see it as the main motive. The big difference for me is how the movies approach Gintoki's character.

For starters, the vibes of both stories are very different. In BFY everything has gone downhill and for the rest of the cast this is a tragedy because it adds to the fact that Gintoki is apparently dead. In contrast, the second part of Silver Soul arc is almost the opposite. The world is thriving and Gintoki went on a trip to resolve his own thing, but the cast can't move on because he’s not with them.

While I’m glad Sorachi gave Takasugi more screen time, his story felt concluded at the end of 1st part of SS arc (as with Utsuro, who was revived only to be killed again a few chapters later). The character arc that remained unfinished was Gintoki's. By this I don't mean that by the end of the series all his problems should’ve been solved and that he should’ve become a perfect human being.

I would’ve liked to see how Gintoki deals with his issues and his PTSD, but this was ignored. Having him relive his trauma, in which he not only had to kill Shouyou again, but also Takasugi, rather than coming from a point of authentic character exploration, felt like unnecessary drama. In the end he wasn’t worse mentally (or so the story says) but he wasn’t better either. He was still the same. And for me it was sad to see that. So many chapters, so many experiences, for everything to stay the same?

The conclusion Gintoki comes to is that he's not empty, people will live in his soul, which isn't bad in itself, but the execution seemed poor to me. Will he let his friends die now because they will live in his soul? It contradicts how he has acted before. You could say it's character evolution, but to me it didn't feel consistent. Where is the line between overcoming a traumatic event and not caring?

I got hooked on Gintama mainly because of Gintoki. I wanted to see his past and more importantly his future. I wanted to see him happy in the end. However, the resolution of his character wasn’t satisfying to me. Sorachi admitted at one point that he didn't quite develop Gintoki, but it wasn't much he needed to do and, in fact, he did it before in BFY. He just needed to focus on his protagonist.

I wanted to see him smile with happiness. But at the end of his journey, he was left with only a somewhat lonely smile.

#Gintama #Sakata Gintoki #I can write #Thoughts about #my post #Otose was quite the life saver #I've talked about the ending before but now I wanted to do it from Gintoki's pov #We also had this story of Gin realizing he's loved in Kintama arc but it was more comical #And since BFY isn’t canon SS arc had to address these issues but didn't #man I just wished to see Gintoki be happy ಥ_ಥ

[thesaltyoceanwaves]

Post "Blue Skies" Storylines: Adrien and Felix

Just a rough idea of how the storylines and characters would continue after "The Blue Skies and Your Eyes". If you haven't finished it yet, there's spoilers ahead! The full series is here.

First, we'll start with Adrien and Felix after leaving Paris and heading to London.

Adrien

-> Adrien is getting the therapy he needs while in London. He's able to unpack the issues he had with his father, the grief over losing his mother, and repair his relationship with Felix (who occasionally joins him for sessions). I also imagine him getting some social skills training to supplement the therapy. He's a bit hesitant at first, but is encouraged by his Aunt so he can better understand how healthy relationships work.

-> It takes some time for him to settle into London, but once he does, he starts exploring various interests and hobbies he didn't get to before. I've written a post addressing this before, but to reiterate, I imagine him getting into tricking (combination of martial arts and gymnastics that combines kicks and flips), baking, and romance fiction. To add on to that, I also see him joining a book and/or anime club at his school, or starting one outside of it. And since he's into tricking, I think I'd just have him join a martial arts school while we're at it (a glance at the wiki says that he does karate and kung-fu, so whatever school offers one of those is where he's enrolling).

(For those who need a visual reference of what tricking looks like).

-> His friend group consists of some members of the club he joins, people he regularly tricks with, students at his martial arts school, and some normal people at school. And of course, Felix, once the two have addressed the issues between them.

-> He still keeps in touch with Nino and Kagami, and occasionally Alya too. After doing some soul searching and healing, I could see him reaching out to Marinette and Chloe as well. Adrien and Chloe repairing their relationship helps her quite a bit as she's trying to adjust to New York.

-> Admittedly, he shies away from superhero fiction. Oftentimes, he thinks back to when Miracle Queen took the ring from him, and he can get defensive about it. He's aware of his behavior, but it takes him some time to really let go of it.

-> He is still a romantic at heart, but holds off on dating until a year or so has gone by. He wishes to avoid the fumbles he made with Kagami and Maribug, so he focuses on healing and self-improvement first. His first relationship ends up being someone from his tricking circle.

-> Down the road, I eventually see him becoming a romance author. However, he takes a pen name in order to disassociate himself from the Agreste name. He may also change his name legally for this reason.

Felix

-> While he does put effort into repairing his relationship with Adrien, Felix is well aware that he can never tell him about becoming the Guardian. Over time, he starts to feel a bit guilty about this, but never peeps or hints at it.

-> There were two things I thought of including for him originally in the main story, but never got to address properly: the first was another layer to why he was so hard on Alya. Initially, he was supposed to be a big fan of the Ladyblog, and even develop a small crush on Alya. However, he felt betrayed when he realized she wasn't entirely being truthful on there. The storyline would have focused on their rivalry, and him rekindling his crush on her, but letting go as she was happy with Nino.

-> The other main beat focused on why he was so interested in unraveling mysteries and secrets, which ties back to his own family history. The idea was that every male member on his father's side of the family died relatively young. This would make him concerned over his own mortality, and he would get into investigating the cause of it, since the circumstances were unusual. He would go around involving himself in situations he had no business in, simply to test his own skills.

-> Well, to tie into this new storyline, he'd balance his Guardian duties with finding the answer to this mysterious question. He refuses to admit it, but he's worried about his own mortality, if his own life will end shortly, and if so, by what means. This may cause him to take rash actions and to be called out by various people (Marinette, Luka, Fu, Adrien, etc.) It takes him some time to realize that he needs to practice self-care if he wants to prolong his life.

-> He ends up becoming a beta reader for Alya's autobiography. As they end up having to communicate a lot, I could see him developing a small crush on her, but choosing not to pursue it since she's with Nino. I think she's more observant at this point and picks up on it, but doesn't say anything.

-> You'll often find him spending time in the library doing research or studying for his Guardian duties. He earns the top grades in his class and seems to do so effortlessly. He only joins clubs if it benefits his investigations, with maybe debate team being an exception.

-> He develops a rapport with Marinette and Luka over time, as he continues his Guardian duties. He refuses to call them his friends, but it becomes pretty clear that he's fond of them.

-> In general, he's slow to make new friends. He often meets people when doing his investigations, or if his mom asks Adrien to drag him to one of his events, but they really only stand out to him if they're a person of interest.

-> One person decides to become his rival (for some reason), challenging him to various things, and often losing. When Felix declares that they aren't really friends, this person becomes really competitive... about making Felix his friend. And that's how Felix gains his confidant/sidekick.

#ml salt #ml salt au #ml salt fic #not really a salty post but tagging just in case #lukanette fic #lukanette au #the one to make it stay #pro lukamari #lukanette endgame #lukanette #post totmis

[the---hermit]

A Certain Hunger by Chelsea G. Summers

This book has been all over internet for the past few months, and since I don't read a lot of contemporary novels I felt this book could be the perfect way to comfortably read something different. In fact the themes and general vibe of the novel are much closer to what I would normally read. This novel is a first person narration of a food critic who turned out to be a cannibal. She murdered and ate several ex partners, and in the novel we get to see how she did it and why. This book is included in several unhinged women main characters lists,and it totallt fits in. I can see how it got so famous, because aside from the more horror-ish vibe of the story there's a lot of sections in which our main character shares her thoughts on femininity and how being a woman is generally perceved as well as how society tells you to act as a woman. There's some really interesting and nice passages on the topic, and overall I really liked the way this character is totally opposed to the classic female representation in litterature. I'm going to say something insane but bare with me for a second and you'll see where I am going. In classic Italian litterature I have always particularly enjoyed Boccaccio because other than proving that medieval litterature can be fun he did something extraordinary: he humanized female figures in litterature. Previousl the model of women in litterature was an angelic idea, then this guy came along and reminded everyone that women are humans have desires and believe it or not they can feel a varied range of emotions and enjoy sex. I feel like A Certain Hunger is a book that instead reminds the reader that women can be violent and feel anger, or even commit these kind of crimes withour an emotional explaination like revenge. There's a couple of specific passages in the book where the author addresses this topic directly and those were some of the best parts. The plot is overall good, you follow with interest because the narrating voice is really captivating.

There is one main thing I did not like and that I have complained about on goodreads as well because it really ruined the experience for me. The book has a lot of sections that take place in Italy (it was very fun and interesting to see Italy and Italians from the point of view of someone outside of our culture to be honest, and it really added something to te experience for me). To make things more elevated and since the main character supposedly speaks Italian and has a lot of interactions with Italian people there are many words and phrases written in Italian. Those were not at all checked by someone who activly speaks the language before publishing the book. If it were just a couple of sentences it wouldn't have been too much of an issue, but since it was so present it was very annoying to read cause it was avoidable quite easily. There's typos that change the meaning of sentences, wrong adjectives, and sentences that look translated by google translate. These phrases feel wrong because they were translated directly from English, meaning they either do not make sense or sound like stuff people would never say out loud. I understand that for an English speaker that cannot speak Italian this complaint is useless, but believe me it made the reading experience so frustrating. What leaves me shocked is that the cultural aspects were mostly accurate (shout out to the full page in which the main character complains about how Trenitalia is totally unreliable, it was as hilirious as it was accurate), so I really don't understand how this can live with all the language mistakes in the book. This is my only complaint for the novel to be honest, if it had been edited by an active speaker the reading experience would have been so much better. With this being said it's not a bad book, and it's worth reading for the themes I talked about. As an horror/thriller book it wasn't too disturbing, there were a couple more graphic scenes, but I feel like it could have been much worse. If you want to read if maybe check the trigger warnings but I think it's quite appoachable.

I read this book for the studyblr w/ knives horror reading challenge for the body horror prompt.

#bookblr #booklr #2022 book #book rec #book review #book recommendation #a certain hunger #popular books #unhinged women #studyblr w/knives reading challenge #horror reading challenge #book cover #pretty books #mine #the---hermit

[flightfoot]

Why it is ignored that a good part of the Ladynoir conflict was due *Chat Noir NOT telling Ladybug* about how he felt, despite the fact that she *did* ask him something was wrong, but he denied it? S4 let it clear that if he *told* her about the problem, she would try fix it - but he never let her to be aware of the problem.

I'm... not really gonna agree on this one. It's true, Ladybug DID ask Chat if he was okay at the end of Rocketear, and he claimed he was fine. And Marinette tries to fix any problem that she comes across, because she DOES care.

But it's not like Chat was entirely closed off and hasn't told her anything. They have had talks, they just didn't really fix the issue.

Think back to Hack-san, when Chat went off on Scarabella, clearly upset about being left out of the loop - and as a consequence, she told Ladybug so that the two of them could meet and talk about it.

Ladybug: You... must've been pretty surprised to discover there was another holder! (Silence. She sits beside Cat Noir.) Ladybug: I'm really sorry, Cat Noir. I should've told you. I mean, if I found out that you told someone about your secret identity, I'd... probably be upset, too. I'm really sorry I hurt your feelings. Cat Noir: You didn't hurt my feelings. You did everything right. Paris will always need a Ladybug superhero to watch over her. It's just... I realized that if one day that hero wasn't you, m'lady, since we don't know each other's identities, that means... I'd never see you again. Ever. And now, I just don't know if I can bear it. (Cat Noir closes his eyes sadly as Ladybug frowns. She places her hand on top of his, which brought him to his surprise.) Ladybug: I'll never abandon you, kitty cat. (smiles)

She did try to address one of the things he was worrying about. She wanted to reassure him. But... well, she still didn't let him into the loop on anything.

And like, back during Ephemeral, when he asked Ladybug what that meeting on the tower had been about, she just blew him off, telling him it wasn't important.

Kuro Neko, everything came to a head. To be fair, Chat wasn't exactly up front with his feelings there - Ladybug had no idea he was even depressed, he did such a good job of concealing it. But Plagg DID tell her what the problem was and... well, she came to the conclusion that Chat must be right, that it'd just continue hurting him to be around her, and tried to pick a new Black Cat instead. It wasn't until that failed that they talked, though the talk was... lackluster.

Cat Noir: (lands next to her) I've been a really temperamental kitty, m'lady. I didn't realize how much trouble I'd make for you by giving back my Miraculous. Ladybug: (sits closer to him) Just because I don't need you all the time doesn't mean that I don't need you at all, Cat Noir. No one could ever replace you.

She did kind of try to fix what she perceived to be the issue here? That she didn't need or want him at all, and reassuring him that that wasn't the case, even if he wasn't ALWAYS necessary.

So yeah. To be fair to Marinette, she does always try to deal with whatever she perceives the issue to be, to soothe any hurt or negative feelings her partner has. The issue is, she has a far harder time when it comes to deeper, more systemic issues, things that can't be solved with a few words of reassurance - especially when she isn't willing (though for some fairly understandable reasons) to take the steps necessary to make the needed changes.

Most notably, she knows that Chat hates being left out of the loop - he told her that in Syren, and she internalized it enough that she got Fu to reveal himself. And she heard it in Hack-san as well, how upset Chat was that she hadn't said anything to him about a new wielder. She did well in acknowledging his feelings, that they were valid, and that she'd have similar feelings in his shoes. But she didn't fix the main thing that caused the issue in the first place, she didn't let him in.

Even if Chat had told her the truth in Rocketear, that he'd found out that she'd given Alya and Nino their Miraculous at the same time, and felt like, as a result, she trusted them more, and that the Secret Identity Rule was just for him, and he hadn't even KNOWN about any of it - she might have been able to tell him more about the specifics of Heroes Day, and explicitly laid out why she's more stringent about the Secret Identity Rule between her and Chat, than between Rena and Carapace. That would have helped with some of his issues - but not all of them.

Basically, for as long as she wasn't willing to actually tackle and try to fix Chat being kept so badly out of the loop, not telling him things, anything she tried to do to fix the situation would have put a band-aid over it at most. Him telling her even MORE explicitly that he wanted to know what was going on, to be told things and treated as - well, a partner - would have helped a little, but not a lot.

#ask #miraculous ladybug #ladynoir conflict #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #ml analysis

[dwtsfun]

Dancing with the Stars Season 31 Week 1: Same Show, Different Platform

Hey everyone! We are back for season 31 on Disney+. We have Conrad Green back as executive producer and Tyra has a new cohost, Alfonso!. Judges are still the same, but they never change. Now a lot of you have been asking my for some thoughts about all of the changes. I guess I'll start out by addressing those. That seems to be appropriate. Let's start with Conrad.

I cannot believe that I'm saying this, but it's nice to have him back. It's nice to hear the full name of both the pro and the celeb. I'm feel the energy of the show has shifted back to what it once was. It was going down a weird path for awhile and Monday night felt familiar and comforting. I love the intro pose before the dance. It's a modernized version of what they used to do back in the day and I missed that so much. I do wish he could've brought the stairs back, but we can't have it all.

For the hosts, I think Tyra and Alfonso were fantastic together. They already know each other and have worked together in the past (Fresh Prince), so it wasn't awkward for them to bounce off of one another. As someone said, Tyra seemed to be a lot more relaxed now that she didn't have to shoulder the responsibility of hosting the entire show. And Alfonso is just a natural. There were a few issues but that was backroom stuff and I'll talk about that a little later.

I enjoyed the troupe dancing. It was a nice and welcome break from the main events of the show.

Now, I think we have to talk about the lack of commercials. The reason that I am so late getting this up is because so much happened in 2 hours with no break that I was kinda over DWTS for the night. Tyra and Alfonso did well, but that was a marathon for them. They literally had no chance to just sit and breathe. At least commercials give some reprieve to the hosts (whether it was Tom, Samantha, Brooke, Erin, Lisa, Tyra or Alfonso). We also saw the control room seemed to mess up a few times with scoring and getting all that updated. Even though they could make that mistake at any time, it is important for them to have that down time so that they can update things to feed to Tyra as the show goes on. I'm not sure how they can rectify this, but something needs to be done to give everyone a breather. The pace of Monday night is not sustainable for an entire season.

And finally, the week 1 elimination. I didn't like it. I think it was the right couple that left, but I wish it had been week 2 or maybe even give us one special results show on Tuesday. Make it a two day premiere. That being said, I liked that Jason and Peta had time to say good-bye and the cast could go hug them and all of that. Okay, now recap time.

Jordin and Brandon- Cha-cha (Score=26)- This was really good. I thought it should've been straight 7s. And upon my second viewing, I was right. It was a very strong week 1 dance and a great way to start the night. Jordin has some really great lines and her technique is actually quite good when she hits everything correctly. I think she was a little uncomfortable. There were moments where it felt like she wasn't quite finishing all the moves right in the middle of the dance. Things started to blend. But nonetheless, a great dance.

Sam and Cheryl- Foxtrot (Score=20)- I thought this dance was fine. It wasn't particularly bad. It wasn't all that great either. It was passable. I feel like the song probably caused them more problems. It didn't lend itself well to the smoothness of a foxtrot. Sam has some potential though. That is the one thing I got from this dance. And based on the other 20s, it probably could've gotten a point or two higher.

Heidi and Artem- Cha-cha (Score=24)- I was surprised at how well Heidi handled this dance. I wasn't really expecting much because I don't know much about her and she's not a celeb celeb. But she did really well. Her legs are really nice. Her arms are pretty good too. I do think she needs to do a better job of projecting when she dances and really hitting her moves harder. I'm starting to realize that Artem has the same issues with his partners that Tony used to have.

Daniel and Britt- Tango (Score=27)- Daniel really shocked me. The confidence that he exuded was kinda hot, not gonna lie. And he handled Britt's choreo really well. His arm kinda gets funky and his legs need some more work. The potential is there and like Jordin, I think he probably should've had straight 7s.

Jessie and Alan- Cha-cha (Score=20)- Well, this dance was a mess. Jessie had basically no technique. Her legs and feet were atrocious. But she knows how to perform and mostly stayed on time. I'm not sure how much potential is there, but we shall see as the season goes on. Alan might make some miracle happen with her. I mean I though Lauren Alaina was a no hoper when she was on.

Teresa and Pasha- Tango (Score=20)- As many of you know, Teresa was one of the people I was excited to see. But this dance was a bit of a let down for me. I could tell she was extremely nervous and dancing definitely doesn't seem to come easy for her. However, I see something there and I want Pasha to tap into it. What she did wasn't bad (other than her frame). It's just what she didn't do. The Housewives fanbase really doesn't translate well to DWTS so I'm not shocked that she ended up in the bottom 2. I think the only Housewife that was pretty much safe up until the week she left was Nene.

Wayne and Witney- Cha-cha (Score=29)- Just as I expected, Wayne was explosive. Witney gave him a great dance and it was so amazing to watch. I do think he needs to clean up some of his technique, but it was great. I'm shocked he didn't get more than one 8. I thought it for sure deserved at least two. I'm really excited for these two. And I don't think I've said this before, but Witney is definitely one of my favorite pros. She's such a star and so good at what she does.

Cheryl and Louis- Cha-cha (Score=21)- First of all, welcome back Louis. Now, Cheryl might've been my biggest surprise of the night. I 100% agreed with CAI. I think she could've handled more than Louis gave her. They played it a bit safe, but she definitely has the goods and she can move. And knowing Louis, I know that's a critique he wants to hear. As for the dance itself, it was good. I wanted more hip action but she really did everything well. I really wanna see her do a ballroom dance. She's got the elegance and lyricism to pull off a gorgeous dance.

Vinny and Koko- Salsa (Score=17)- First, welcome to the show Koko! Now, the judges were way too harsh on them for this dance. Was it great? No. Was it good? No. But, Vinny has potential. I think the dance actually would've been better if Vinny hadn't been so nervous. He forgot things and he kinda got lost. But he performed it well and there were moments when I saw him hit the moves he was supposed to, when he was supposed to. I think a few things need to happen to help these two out. First, I want Koko to simplify the routines from now on. Vinny is not super skilled, so throwing everything into one dance will not work out for him. It's a rookie mistake, so I understand why she did it. Idk if she is doing this next thing, but I'd like for her to take Vinny to the side at least once before they dance, reassure him and calm him down. He was clearly hyped up when they got out there and he needs to come back down to really get these dances down.

Shangela and Gleb- Salsa (Score=28)- Shangela killed this. This was actually my favorite dance of the night. First of all, this is the best Gleb US choreography that I've seen from him. Shangela also really killed this dance. She was fierce. She was confident. She had rhythm and hips. It was a great time. Now, I need them to reign it back in a little bit. It started to get a little wild from time to time and that will create problems in the future. That's my biggest critique.

Trevor and Emma- Quickstep (Score=21)- Interesting dance. They sold it to us like he was going to be one of the worst dancers ever on DWTS. And then it was actually ok. I'm not sure why that was the case. Now it was kind of wild and there were a lot of technical issues. But it wasn't the disaster they were preparing us for. Again, weird.

Gabby and Val- Jive (Score=28)- The judges gushed over this dance and I found that to be very suspicious. Was it good? Yes. But there were a lot of issues. First, she had Bambi legs going on a little bit. And I also thought that her kicks were lacking. They didn't retract the way that they should've. She can dance though. I definitely think she's gonna be good.

Joseph and Daniella- Jive (Score=23)- Joseph killed this dance. Ain't no way I was expecting him to be this good and light on his feet and flexible, considering how muscular he is. Daniella is an amazing teacher and choreographer. Now, his feet were eyesores and there are some other things. But man, this guy is actually someone that could become a contender.

Jason and Peta- Cha-cha (Score=18)- This just wasn't a good dance. And there was nothing that Jason could've done to save it. He's just not a good dancer and that's okay. As soon as I saw him counting out loud, I knew he was gonna be in trouble. That is never a good sign for anyone. He was eliminated though, so we don't have to worry about fixing any of his problems anymore.

Selma and Sasha- Viennese Waltz (Score=28)- This dance was beautiful. It was a true moment. I really loved it and Selma did such a great job with everything. I enjoyed Sasha's choreography. It was good. I do worry about how Latin will be for her, but I feel like her ballroom dances will always be really nice to watch.

Charli and Mark- Cha-cha (Score=32)- Welcome back Mark! This dance was good. Really good. I expected that though. I don't have much to really say though. I liked it and I like Charli more than I thought I would. I would like to tell everyone though to be prepared for a "shocking" elimination involving her. She's young and her fanbase is young. They're usually fickle. Not sure how it's gonna be on Disney+, but you all need to prepare yourselves. She's got "shocking elimination" written all over her and I do not want to sit here and talk about ad nauseum if it does happen. I just want to get that out the way.

So that's it. This took forever to write. I think I'm going to figure out a different way to do this next week. Recapping 15 dances is not fun. This is another reason why I didn't want more than 13 couples in a season. It makes blogging about it a much more tedious task. Let me know you all's thoughts and I will talk to you soon!

#dancing with the stars #dwts #jordin sparks #sam champion #heidi d'amelio #daniel durant #jessie james decker #teresa giudice #wayne brady #cheryl ladd #vinny guadagnino #shangela #trevor donovan #gabby windey #joseph baena #jason lewis #selma blair #charli d'amelio #mark ballas #sasha farber #peta murgatroyd #daniella karagach #val chmerkovskiy #emma slater #gleb savchenko #koko iwasaki #louis van amstel #witney carson #pasha pashkov #alan bersten

[katyspersonal]

Okkkkay I've finished watching season 1 of Star Trek (ToS) so here are my thoughts:

- I have some criticism to how episodes are structured- i.e. every episode lasts 50 minutes but 49 are an action and the very last 50th minute is the resolution :facepalm:

- Nonetheless, episodes are FUN to watch. They remind me of what I loved about Classic Who - every episode is a contained story and addresses an oddly specific societal issue through an episodic character

- I already talked about Lazarus episode in a separate post, but still, I think that's good enough that a single episode can cause a wholeass essay about ethics

- I think I legit love Spock, lmao

- I mean not as much in character crush way (though this too), but as in, admiration way. Like you know how some people get gender envy? Well he is more like neurotype envy thing for me o_o' I don't think words can describe how much I want to be as stoic and logical as him. He is, like... Neurodivergency envy. The only way I can describe how I feel.

- However, interactions between McCoy and Spock are the funniest thing ever XD

- McCoy is THE most funny character in general

- I also loved an oddly personal moment about Spock! There was an episode about the spores on a certain planet causing people to be happy relaxed idiots without ambitions... And although Kirk figured later that sending a certain sound currency could cause the liberation effect, Spock tho? He knew one of the people affected (a woman named Layla, pardner if I spelled her name wrong), and despite the plan, he chose to deal with her PERSONALLY, by breaking her heart

Like... This was NOT necessary in the slightest, and it was very sweet of him

- In general, I am very happy about how Spock is treated. He is not idealized, but he is not condemned either! His near computery, logical approach sometimes fails everyone but sometimes saves the day! Some people love it, some people hate it. He feels like a person with unusual brain more than he feels like an alien, and this is good! He was the best display of neurodivergent person before it became cool.

- There also was a character Khan (again sorry if I misspell the name; again, I watch it with my mom who knows exactly 0 English so we get subtitles). But this character was really charismatic o_o Feels a waste to have him for just one episode

- I noticed they dropped the character.. again. There was this blonde staff member (you know, the one with checker hair style)? She just mysteriously vanished ;-; Wish it wasn't done like that, she was promoted like a rather consistent character.

- Basically: Kirk, Spock and Leonard McCoy are the MAIN trio, and then Uhura, Sulu and Scott are secondary characters who are consistent

- I think I warmed up to Kirk completely. I had a period of not having attachment to him, but he is cool, really. The way he keeps the ice cold blood when his long term staff member- heck, when his BROTHER dies? Incredible. Like, he is a very strong person, he is a natural leader that is able to think about BIG things regardless of his emotions (and he doesn't have Spock's privilege of muting them). That's really all there is to him.

- The episode about traveling back in time was DEPRESSING. He met a woman of his dreams - the dreamer, the pacifist, the person way ahead of her time - only to learn that she had to tragically die at young age, without any of her ambitions fulfilled, so the history of humankind unravels the way it did, and doesn't die early. I believe her name is spelled as Edith? It was just really fucking sad. Again, the moral question of sacrificing one (very good!) person to save many. Just... why Kirk had to LEARN this? It just felt sad and cruel.

- The episode where it looked like Kirk was protecting the no balls l00sers, but they turned out to be superior energetic beings trapping humans and Klingons into not fighting genuinely surprised me

Any ways, I can say why the series gained so much love back then. Gonna share my impressions (that only 2 people get) later

#star trek #watch log #dammit #every other episode is depressing

[alrightsnaps]

As someone not a huge fan of Edwina, thank you for defending her lol. I am first and foremost a Kate defender/supporter. Do I agree with the way she went about some things? No. But she always put her family first in every scenario. You could see the love she had for Mary and Edwina and their well-being. Them and their love of her? I guess episode 8 showed it?

People need to realize that Edwina is only at fault for her cruelty against Kate and refusing to listen to her. Kate told her multiple times Anthony wouldn’t love her. He humiliated Kate at the races and Edwina didn’t care. She didn’t stick up for Kate or her father and mother after the Sheffields were cruel to them, etc. Anthony made enough “grand gestures” to imply that he had actual feelings for her - or at least what an 18 year old would believe to be love. Anthony. Is. At. Fault. when it comes to Edwina and her confusion.

Also people need to leave CC alone. Like you said, she has a right to ask for more as an actress, they didn’t have to do it. I won’t assume how she felt the direction the plot went, but I did side eye her a smidge during some Twitter debacles but I also kinda chalked it up to her being nervous about her first big role. I’m very glad she is no longer on there because I do not think that would’ve been good for her at all after the season dropped.

exactly, you perfectly summarised my feelings on edwina.

i found her behaviour towards kate to be horrible and that's something that merits criticism and was never addressed in the show. while kate may have made mistakes, her every decision was made with edwina in mind and i never felt like edwina acknowledged or appreciated that, or that she realised or cared about how much she hurt kate.

but yeah, for all anthony stans claim that he was upfront with her from the beginning bla bla bla, i found it perfectly reasonable that a teenager would romanticise his actions? even with kate as the voice of reason (thank god for older sisters) is an 18yo really expected to be on the receiving end of anthony’s speech in episode 2 and not romanticise it? teenagers fantasise for way less. of course what she took away from it was that Unlike Other Gentlemen who woo debutantes with pretty empty words, anthony was an honest and honourable man that may not wax poetry but would be there for her and she could always rely on. i’m not expecting someone that young and inexperienced to have the maturity of a grown woman and see the red flags when she's barely interacted with men in her life!

and yeah i’ve found cc annoying during the s2 promo (kinda felt like she'd built up a romantic version of edwina and anthony's relationship in her head that just wasn't there instead of acknowledging that anthony was an asshole to her character) plus the whole twitter debacle. i won't pretend she hasn't since received hate from the fandom cause she definitely has, but at the time of the whole poster mess kathony stans had absolutely no issue with her and were pretty excited to see her as edwina, which is why all the anger and blame was directed at the production.

but that's neither here nor there when it comes to her wanting more for her character, she was entitled to ask! it was up to the writers to say “yeah this is probably not a good idea but how about we go that direction?”. edwina could've had the same amount of screen time and cc the same amount of promo except it wouldn't be as a plot device that exists to stand between the leads, but as her own character. think anthony in s1. he got plenty of screen time and he was involved in simon and daphne’s story, but his character didn't solely exist to pose an obstacle in their story. he had an arc of his own that existed outside the main romance of the season.

#bridgerton asks

[lavenderbexlatte]

Hello!!! Welcome to 🦋 anon's probably-way-too-overthought analysis on the m&m series in light of the new part. I have stopped crying and had about 24 hours to think, and I have discovered I have many thoughts, and this will probably be way more detailed than it should be.

The first thing I would like to address are some of the accusations Chan made at the end of the most recent part. (While I understand that they're supposed to not quite be accurate because of their obvious root in insecurity, and a lot of what I'm saying may just be like "yeah, obviously," I still would like to tell at the character a bit but I can't so this is what I have.)

Claim #1: "You fucking came at us at that party with your little girl-dom agenda and the guys fell for it, hook line sinker!"

This one's fairly self explanatory, no she didn't. They literally came onto her, even him, with his "There’s that pretty blush," and "Whatever you want it to be," lines. (And while yes, it's very likely that he was just trying to play it cool, but there's no way she could've known that, I'll come back to this later.)

Claim #2: "Nobody fucking asked me what I wanted!" "Nobody asked if I was sure that I wanted…"

Also mostly false, but he does have a tiny bit of a point. Yes, reader did grab his hair without asking, which is a little iffy, but she didn't actually rough with him until he goads her on. But I would argue that the reader is actually the ONLY one who asks him what he wants, if he's okay with things. While there may have been a little bit of discussion on the decision to approach the reader that we didn't see because of perspective (him saying this is kind of telling me that there wasn't, or at the very least not enough, maybe even some pressure for this to be the moment), or maybe Changbin said something while reader is with Jisung on the couch, after that, we don't see Jisung and Changbin check in with him at ALL, and there's not really an opportunity any other time for it just not have been noticed by the reader. As his partners, and the ones in the situation who have the full knowledge of Chan's situation, it should've been their responsibility to make sure he was alright throughout the process, even if they're not the ones in control for this situation, ESPECIALLY if they're going to keep this information from their Domme for the night (which really, I would say, wasn't a good idea, but no one is required to out themselves so I'll leave it alone).

HOWEVER, the reader does check with him, several times. She asks for boundaries/hard limits/etc before they even start anything, and while again, he's not required to say "hey, having a sexuality crisis, first time with a girl, kinda nervous," and he may not want to tip off Jisung and Changbin that something's wrong, that would be the time to say something like "I'm not feeling anything rough tonight, if you could be gentler that would be great." She asks them if there's anyone that doesn't actually want to fuck her. Also, she implements a safeword system (which she specifically calls him out to make sure he's okay with), which they weren't even going to USE, and asks them at least twice throughout the scene for their color, and Chan specifically if he's okay at least two more times besides that. Actually Chan almost makes fun of her for asking so many questions, so I think this claim is just another part of his insecurity-fed delusion that she's conspiring to ruin his life, or something, but again I'll come back to that. My point is that despite being the only one who doesn't know his situation, reader is also the only one who checks in with him.

There are a few other things he said that I took issue with, but those are the main two.

Next; Chan's delusion that reader is like conspiring to ruin his life. (Really like how you depicted this by the way, though I may be thinking wayyy too far into this.) I remember watching some video when I had one of my mental health/disorders hyperfixations. The video was about schizophrenia, and while I definitely don't think Chan has schizophrenia, one of the things the video talked about was types of delusions, and this kind of reminded me of one of them. I don't remember what it's called, but it's basically a delusion based around one idea, and then you force the world around you to fit into that idea. One example of this that I can think of is Azula from ATLA. Towards the end of her arc in the TV series, she starts seeing hallucinating her mother everywhere, and you get a peek of her fixed belief that her mother is behind everything that has gone wrong in her life, which is expanded upon a little bit in the books. Obviously Chan's not experiencing delusion to the extent that she did, but I did see some (albeit much less intense) parallels that were interesting. See, if he only talked about how his boyfriends seemed to like the reader more than him, that would be one thing, but he brings up his mother as well, which even though they did speak, it's a little out there to say that your mother likes someone she's talked to once more than you. That, combined with his insisting that the reader is playing some sort of game makes me think of that a little.

Of course this was only at first, when I was like "wtf, where is this 'my boyfriends like you more than me' thing coming from?" And then I reread the first few parts for this monstrosity of an ask that I'm writing rn. While at first I thought that this was entirely out of left field, when I read through the first few parts, especially the second one, with the knowledge that he felt that way, I noticed a few things you had put in there.

For the majority of the scene, or at least the first good chunk, the reader deals with Jisung and Changbin alone, leaving Chan by himself to watch. Obviously, as we see the reader's perspective, we know that it's because she found Chan's attitude intriguing and wanted to be able to deal with that one on one (at least that's what I got from it), it's easy to see now how to someone who's already insecure about their relationship and themselves, that would read as someone replacing you. Especially when Jisung, with no ill intent, but still, outright rejects his help in favour of the reader, and once again, he is left out, only this time it's accompanied with the sting of knowing (or at least feeling) that your partner didn't want you involved.

Now I kinda want to go character by character, and idk, talk about what I think they did wrong? We'll see, I'm not going to edit this so here we go.

Jisung and Changbin : Honestly, looking back on 3racha's first encounter with the reader, they really should have done better as Chan's partners. Like I said earlier, as the ones who knew Chan's situation, and the ones who likely pressured him slightly into he whole ordeal, it was really their responsibility to make sure Chan was okay with everything that was going on. That, and them feeling the need to sneak around with reader behind Chan's back doesn't sit right with me. I get that they have an open relationship, but there's a difference between having an open relationship and hooking up with someone your partner doesn't like, and actively trying to hide that you're hooking up with them. Their relationship boundaries may be fine with that, but idk, something feels off about it.

(I couldn't figure out where to put this and you may have already addressed this but it's my little theory/headcanon that Chan actually suspected it was reader at Jisung's place, and when there wasn't anyone there, he kinda gaslighted himself afterwards, idk. With the new knowledge it feels likely.)

Also, knowing that they were together for a while before Chan joined the relationship I think explains so much about the communication issues they seem to have with him. While I do think Chan has trouble communicating his feelings about things, I think their established communication and knowing eachother really well doesn't help. I may just be making things up at this point, but I feel like they have trouble with communication with Chan specifically, maybe forgetting that he doesn't have the same time/experience thy have with each other? If that makes sense?

Chan : oh boy. I've gone into a lot of detail already, so I'll try to keep this brief. Obviously, I think he has a looooottt of insecurity he needs to work through. If I were reallllyyy analyzing this I would say maybe a past cheating partner(?), but unless that's relevant to the plot I'm not sure if that's just me reading too much into this. Also mentioned before, COMMUNICATION ISSUES. One thing that would prevent half of the issues with this series is Chan communicating with his partners, though I suppose that wouldn't be near as much fun to read. Or just communicating I'm general, like I said, he had a plethora of opportunities to communicate to reader if he wanted something different, and didn't. So, yeah. Honestly I think he causes most of his own problems, but I feel like we knew that.

Reader : Now. I spent most of this series completely on the reader's side. Last night after reading part six, I was like "oh my god. He's right!" But then I took a while and thought a lot about it (as you can see), and honestly, I think reader probably did the least wrong out of everyone. Yes, the hair thing was a little iffy, like I said earlier, but once I went back and realized that he was actively participating and egging her on, I don't think that's necessarily something she did wrong. Beyond that, she did the most in regards of communication (at least during sex, after is another story), even more than the partners themselves. I think she did the best she could with the information that was given to her. She saw three guys approach her as a unit, and while yes, she didn't ask before engaging with Chan, I don't think it's really her fault for assuming that they were all interested as a unit as well. She had no reason to question any of their sexualities, why would she? She sees three partners approach her in unison, why wouldn't she assume they were on the same page? Anyway, all that to say, I think reader is the most innocent of all the main characters so far, though I may feel different after sitting on this for more time.

Anyway, here's this unedited brain dump, loved the new part, enjoy. Or not ig - 🦋

i've been sitting on this for like a week bc it's just so long and amazing??? and i have no idea what to say?? 🥺🥺

the bit about chan having a sort of delusion that reader is out to ruin his life in a pointed, conspired way is VERY interesting. their dynamic is actually something that i pulled from myself, in a way. i'm really superstitious about dumb things. i hate, like, bumping into someone or accidentally saying something that hurts someone's feelings bc i know that that karma/vibe/intention (whatever you wanna call it, i'm not spiritual just paranoid) is gonna come back around.

reader is the opposite. she's just walking around doing things and thinking about herself, and then being shocked when there are equal and opposite reactions to the stuff she does. i overthink everything, so reader doesn't think nearly enough.

but lemme say

that the best thing you said is how jisung and changbin are absolutely not the innocent bystanders that everyone seems to think they are 🤐🤐 most readers LOVE those two. but think about it...what are they trying to accomplish, here? 👀

#🦋 anon #a long one!!! a good one!!! #wishing feedback #tw schizophrenia #just a mention but i'll tag just in case

[k-odyssey]

Thoughts on So I Married the Antifan

Whoa, I'm so out of practice. Can't believe I used to review stuff and be able to express my opinions. I also have taken exactly zero notes on this drama.

So I Married the Antifan had the kind of title that would reel me in for sure. I have a well-documented weakness for contract relationship that inevitably turn into love, which I expected this to be. We didn't quite get the usual trope, but maybe that's for the best. I like some variety on a theme, even though I'm a "monomaniac" (according to my brother).

At first, Joon was a bit too much of a jerk and Geun Yong a bit too volatile. Which was on purpose, I know. But with some characters it's love at first sight, even with their flaws. I guess because their flaws feel relatable, not so with Joon and Geun Yong. These two took a few episodes to grow on me, but they definitely did. I enjoyed the romance, it was a pleasant enemies-to-lovers.

I did laugh a lot as well. I liked Geun Yong's group of friends and Joon's amazing manager a lot.

My main issue the entire time was Jae Joon. The drama was showing me an abusive boyfriend, an aggressive boss and a selfish/manipulative friend, asking me to feel bad for him while he was showing very little remorse and blaming everyone else. Sure JJ grew up in a terrible family and felt betrayed by Joon, but that doesn't excuse everything. Also JJ was boring tbh, repeating the same patterns over and over again. What did Joon do so wrong? I personally don't think prioritizing his career, if it had been his goal, would've been a sin. Maybe I'm an individualist. But JJ wasn't even that good of a friend, wanting to debut first.

In Hyung finally gathered the courage to leave him after years of misery and she's rewarded with guilt and runs back to him in the end. Even waiting for him to start her career. Seriously. I wish things had been fixed with therapy and time rather than a life-threatening accident, but this is a drama. At least nobody got amnesia this time.

You know that trope where the male lead disappears to suffer/fix his problems by himself near the end of the drama? (*whispers* Oh My Venus) I would typically hate this, but here Joon takes a step back from the relationship in a way that makes sense, for good reason, and without cutting off contact.

Would I rather watch Joon and Geun Yong face things as a couple? Yes, but there's been such a cataclysm in his life that I understand why he would need some time to address his various problems. And Geun Yong takes this opportunity to look for a job and get her career back on track. Also her parents come over to take care of her, which I really loved.

Anyway, I found Joon's songs catchy. Although I'm not sure why he sang Bittersweet (that "I wonder what is love" song) in ep 2 when the drama seems to be saying it's a new song he's writing later on? What did I miss, is the duo version supposed to be a new version of an existing song? Or did the writers think I wouldn't rewatch the first few episodes after reaching ep10 or so, and therefore would never notice?

All of that to say, I found I Married the Antifan super enjoyable to watch and would classify it as a feel-good. I didn't mind the tropes cause I never do if they're done well/well-enough. I would 100% rewatch it, but definitely fast-forward most of JJ cause seeing that once was more than enough.

PS: Did anyone feel like Joon had actually grown up in Alaska at any point? I don't know what it'd have taken for me to believe it, but I didn't believe it.

PPS: WTF was that kidnapping tho? It made no sense and felt like it was just here to a) show Geun Yong genuinely worrying about Joon b) make him seem like a Good Guy for later on.

#so i married the anti fan #so i married an anti fan #kdrama thoughts

[annamusewrites]

Family isnt all about blood.

She finally was happy and felt safe, she shouldve known you cant stop running from your past and not have it catch up on you, but she doesnt want to lose her brother or her loved even if it meant she suffered.....she really shouldve expected this after all, she was a Taylor and no one walks away from that family.

It didnt really bother her that her brother never settled down with a partner, he had his reasons and trust issues that Ana knew, as long as he was safe, that's all that would matter for now. Granted, she would love for him to find someone but she wasnt going to force that on him either. They were both there for one another and he had accepted Ransom as well. Truthfully, she couldnt be happier and maybe that was the problem. Her happiness had blinded her to what was to come.

"Dads in town" those words made her drop her fork and look wide eyed at her brother but then she picked up her fork "guess he found out about my new job" her tone was flat, their Dad could go to Hell for all she cared right now. He abandoned them so he didnt exist and she wasnt going to let him play the Daddy role just because he found out his so called daughter now had money.

She felt Marty's eyes on her but she carried on with her meal "if he calls you, dont answer" she looked at him "I'm not that stupid" "i wasnt saying you were, I'm just....protective" his words made her smile, she had two protective men in her life, her brother and the love of her life and she loved them both for it "I know" she reached out for his arm "but that man isnt going to walk into our lives again after everything. He had his chances"

No more was said about that man for a couple of days, she got several missed calls from an unknown number and after checking it wasn't anything to do with her work, Ransom or his family, she blocked and ignored any more. She shouldve known ignoring him wouldnt make him go away.

"I'll be over later, just need a shower....an actual shower " she smirked into the phone "give me half an hour and I'll be there. I love you" she hing up the phone to Ransom as she walked into her house. A shower and a change of clothes was a must, she wanted to get rid of work more than anything right now.

Closing the door, she gasped as a hand went across her mouth and dragged her back, her heels falling off her feet as she tried to stay upright. She felt the coldness of the gun resting on her temple, god she wished she hadnt known that feeling and she tried not to panic but then she saw her brother on his knees, all bloodied up from what looked like beatings.

Was this to do with sleeping with the wrong gal? It couldnt of been, Ransom had made sure he knew to only go after single women and Marty wasnt that stupid anymore. She swallowed against the hand as she tried to take in the dark setting, any detail to use against the people not allowed here. Her eyes begging for any sign that he was alright.

"You always were an ignorant brat" that voice made her blood run cold, how did he find her? As if to confirm who he was a tall man now came into view, taking her in and she knew it was the bastard father that abandoned them for money. The hand slid from her mouth and she spat at her father making him slap her hard and grab her throat. She heard Marty try and struggle to help her but then her father laughed "I see you've finally got your mothers fiesty side in you. Shame it didnt help her or you now"

Before she knew it she was tossed onto the floor, her head hitting the corner of the coffee table making her groan out. "Rich little Princess doesnt share with her family" Ana looked up at him "you're not my family, you walked out on us"

Her father grabbed her by the hair, pulling it with no remorse as he made her kneel infront of her brother "no I kicked your good for nothing brother out, you just followed like a weak little puppy" she chewed her inner cheek refusing to whimper at the pain he was causing her by pulling her hair. She looked at her brother, tears stinging her eye with the pain "you're not even half the man Marty is" again that earned her a toss to the ground and a kick to her back.

Biting back the groan, she exhaled harshly as she heard her brother beg for him to stop hurting her and turn back to him "no" she went to push up on her arms only for them to wobble but she didnt care "let him be the monster he always was"

This time when she was dragged by up to her feet she could feel the metallic taste of blood in her mouth, but as she was pinned back to the wall, she felt the suffocating pressure of a hand tightly over her mouth and nose as she grabbed his arm and dug her nails in his arm as he watched her try not to fight for breath.

"Be a good girl and I'll let you breath" there was only one perfect to ever call her that and it certainly wasnt him. It made her feel sick hearing it from those lips. She felt his other hand grip her throat as tears streamed down her cheeks, her lungs begging for breath but she wasnt gling to fight for it either. Half an hour, she just had to last half an hour and then Ransom would call her and wouldnt get any answer and knew something was wrong but then he would walk straight into this and she couldnt bare the thought of him getting hurt. What was she going to do?

Finally he was allowed to breathe as she fell to her knees gasping her breath. Maybe he saw her not struggling as compliance, right now she could care less. Blinking she tried to focus clearly then she heard her brother scream. Looking up she noticed the knife wound "no" "no" she was grabbed again and pinned to someones body as she growled out but she couldnt move.

"I'm going to fucking kill you" her brother growled out and Ana didnt have any complaints there. She hears her cell ring, fuck, it couldnt of been half an hour already. Her father got her phone and showed her the caller ID, Linda was calling her and as her father tossed her phone out into the hallway, she felt a dreaded feeling that having not been able to reach Ana, Linda would phone Ransom. She was in two minds if that was a good idea or not.

"Havent changed at all, still the low life whore than ever, Martin" her father sounded displeased but when was he happy "your sister achieves alot more than you but still needs teaching on how to act properly. What? You both thought I'd let you walk away, embarrass me and I'd never punish you both for it? Thanks to Ana taking on that job and a very helpful assistant I found exactly where you loved"

Her mind whizzed trying to think who wouldve given out her address, she was going to fire that person....if they ever got out "What do you want?" Her words seemed to echo around the room making all eyes appear on her "what inwant is respect and I'm going to get it from you both one way or another. You're both coming back home, whether it's in a body bag or three back of the car is up to you"

"Go to hell" both her brother and her seemed to say at the same time, she kicked back making the man holding her back off and groan "fucking bitch" he grabbed her by the hair "going to teach you a fucking lesson" he dragged her by her hair up the stairs, each step hitting her body like a punch as she tried to struggle and groaned out. Hearing her brother try and get free and call for her made her suddenly want to panic but she wasnt going to show the bastard dragging her she was now scared.

She heard commotion downstairs and her cell phone ringing, now she did want Ransom to come in and somehow not get hurt. Being rescued wasnt such a bad idea. She whimpered as she was thrown onto her bed, trying to get her mind focused on anything but the pain. As her legs were dragged she reached out ontop of the bedside table remembering she had opened a letter with her mothers old fashioned letter opener and managed to grab it. "Going to make you behave bitch" she rose her hand and plunged the letter opener into the side of her neck "go fuck yourself" blood splattered from his neck as she turned her head away and managed to crawl under and away from him as she panted sat on the floor out of his reach as she watched the man who worked for her father bleed to death. She didnt dare think what he was going to do to her as she desperately tried to control her breathing.

Her phone rang again and maybe she shouldve tried to make a run for it. Maybe by some miracle whoever was ringing, more likely ransom, would hear the struggle as she was captured again but she also knew that would cost her brothers life and she couldnt lose him. Swallowing, she blinked , she had killed a man, but it was in self defence but that thought tried to over take her.

Her hands was shaking, as far as she knew there was this dead guy and her father left. Crawling slowly to the body she yanked the letter opener off his neck, trying not to get too much blood on her. She gripped the letter opener tightly and looked under her bed. Didnt Ransom leave a cell under here and said he would collect it later? God she hoped he hadnt collected it already. She smiled as she felt the cell in her hand as she looked through the contact until she reached Ransoms main cell number, but as she dialed his number, she screamed as she was yanked back. She hadnt seen the other man in the room downstairs, another person with her father. She threw the vocal under the bed enough not to be seen as she kept screaming in hopes if Ransom picked up he could tell she was in danger.but not enough that the man grabbed her would know she had another cell.

Against the stairs left their marks and neither touch of the other man was gentle. She was covered in blood and likely to have bruises now too "the fucking bitch killed Roma" he threw her onto the other chair and tied her up.and gagged her. She struggled under the harsh slap of her father stung her face so much she felt like he had taken her skin off, even if it was impossible. She had to save her brother as he was bleeding, god knows to death but now tied down she was trying to think how. "Guess we're going to play this the hard way then. Bring it in" Ana swallowed, it could be anything knowing him and she couldnt quite see what it was as inwas dragged behind her.

"Marty all will.be forgiven, are you going to come.back.home?" Marty knew what that really meant for them both "fuck you" he moaned through his pain and before Ana could realise what was happening her chair was thrown back into.something ice cold. She realised it was a large tub of ice cold.water behind her as she struggled to not breathe in. There was noise.coming from above the surface but she couldnt make it out as her lungs fought for air then she was sat back up coughing for breath.

"Ana come home" Ana looked through her wet eyes "I'd rather die" again she was fallen back into the ice water. A father who tortured his children was no father at all but what was new for her? She gasped for air as she was pulled back up hearing her brother begging for her tonbe let go and he'll go back if she wasnt hurt anymore. They had broken her brother and she couldnt blame him really "no...no. I wont let you go back there" her throat was grabbed, she needed more air and then she heard someokenwalk up her steps "go check it out"

The other man left as her father looked back at her "if youd rather die then so be it" he whispered against her ear "you're not worth the rescue" with that he pushed her chair back into the water and let go, raising the gun he pressed it against her brother forehead.....

@flamingshieldwrites

[ingek73]

Catriona Stewart: #BeKind? The reaction to Meghan Markle's miscarriage shows Britain is a nation of bullies

By Catriona Stewart

THERE are some topics on which you would expect the old maxim of saying nothing when there is nothing nice to say to hold fast.

When Meghan Markle revealed she had recently endured a miscarriage in an essay in the New York Times, the only humane response was to express well wishes, acknowledge the succour her candour will give to other women who have experienced similar loss, or just keep walking.

Of course, this is too much to expect.

While there was plenty of the first of those two suggested responses, there was also an unhealthy dose of whataboutery. "This is terrible news," whined talk show hosts and Twitter users, "But if she wanted to leave the UK to secure her privacy then why is she telling everyone?"

This is such an obtuse misreading of the situation as to feel deliberate. The Duchess of Sussex did not want to retreat from public life. She wanted to reclaim the power to control her own narrative. That is precisely what she is doing now.

And what a way to do it. Rather than having the story leak and be splashed across hostile tabloids, she wrote a first person piece for a paper of record. No speculation, no gossip, only her own words.

The revelation of her miscarriage has understandably became the main focal point but it isn't the only focus of the essay. The essay is, with some irony, about how to heal a fractured society. She speaks of the polarisation caused by the US elections and the newly fragile nature of facts.

Where facts should be sacred, they are now open to interpretation, whether that's the outgoing President of the United States attempting to undermine his incumbent or anti-vaccine campaigners trying to throw people off accepting the Covid-19 inoculation.

She asks how we heal in a post-coronavirus world; how America grieves as a country where young black Americans are killed by police; how we mend divisions in communities. She makes a nice observation about masks partially obscuring faces and so forcing us to look each other in the eyes.

All worthy points; all reasonable points. And yet it can't merely be left at that because of who Markle is. A woman who felt she was being bullied for her sex, her race and her audacity to reject British tradition but had the temerity to reject everything she should have felt grateful for. A woman with the temerity to do something different.

A younger audience, one that will have no memory of Princess Diana, is being introduced to her story in the new season of The Crown. It is a fictionalised account but that relies on the true story, painting Diana as a sacrificial lamb. I wonder what young women make of it. I wonder if they listen to the dialogue between the Queen Mother and Princess Margaret - "What happens if she doesn't bend?" "She will break" - and recoil at a woman's life being defined in such a way.

Well, there's Meghan Markle. She didn't bend, she didn't break - she walked out. Whether you like her not, whether you value you the traditions of the Royal establishment or not, you should be glad of a princess who did not break. After last time.

The past week has shown there is really a lot of work to be done on how we frame bullying and what the response to bullying should be. The public conversation around the investigation of allegations Priti Patel bullied staff in three government departments felt somewhat retro, particularly the relentless minimising of the effects of "shouting and swearing". It was "just" shouting, it was "just" swearing - how could any real harm be done.

While there seems to be a view in some quarters that Meghan Markle is a reasonable target for bullying because she is famous, wealthy and privileged, there emerges a more surprising view that civil servants should be open to demeaning rough treatment because politics is a tough game.

The notion that some people deserve to be bullied, or should be willing to put up with it or should simply be able to deal with it well, feels like it should have faded long before now.

There was a caller to Radio 4 on Saturday who made some comment about the home secretary being unable to bully as she is a "small woman". When pressed, he seemed to think that a small woman wouldn't be capable of thumping anyone, but would merely shout to make her point known. It wasn't the most coherent take but seemed to suggest, again, that bullying isn't bullying unless it's physical.

The host, Anita Anand, was quite quick to point out that she, also petite in stature, found it quite easy not to shout and swear at colleagues. She did, though, leave listeners hanging as to the power of her left hook.

The issue of size was addressed again in the press with a right-leaning columnist asking how on earth 5ft Patel could possibly terrorise a 6ft mandarin. Attila the Hun was 4ft 11in yet seems to have known how to make his presence felt.

Boris Johnson's support of his minister is not surprising, nor was his statement that Patel is "getting on with delivering the people's priorities". Is she? What priorities? The hostile, racist, dare I say it, bullying treatment of refugees to the country? The deployment of Navy ships against motorised dinghies?

The social media hashtag "Be Kind" - to be found now on t shirts, mugs and other memorabilia - is frustratingly reductive and, while obviously well meaning, serves to stymie discussion. It's often used now as a passive aggressive full stop to any sort of lively disagreement, no nuance for cruelness in its performative niceness.

I wonder if #UseEmpathy might be better. You can disagree strongly using empathy. You can dissent firmly using empathy. You cannot bully using empathy.

When excuses are made for aggressive shouting and swearing in public office, when a hiatus can't be taken on disassembling a grieving mother, there is no empathy. That can't be where we are now, a nation of bullies. Meghan Markle asks in her column a simple question, 'Are we ok'? The response to her suggests we are not.

#royals #meghan markle #prince harry #be kind #baby loss #scotland herald #are you ok

[elenajohansenreads]

Books I Read in 2021

#77 - Sophie, by Abigail Barnette

Rating: 3/5 stars

A happy and mostly triumphant ending to a series that I (and many others) feel has stumbled a bit along the way. We can't seem to agree on what those stumbles are, specifically, because so much has happened over the course of several in-universe years and seven other books. And the major problem that causes is that this sometimes didn't feel like a story, it felt like a to-do list of getting closure for the many, many plot threads.

Which, yes, is what endings are for. But in covering everything that's ever happened in the story, that drags up a lot of the things that feel like dead weight. I wasn't a fan of the idea to give Sophie a baby she didn't birth by killing off its parents in a car accident; I felt it undermined Sophie's determination not to be a mother. So now, in every book since, she's had to do a mental dance of "I'm a caregiver, not a mother" even when she's clearly performing parental duties and experiencing something at least adjacent to a maternal sort of love. And this book addresses that, actually in more depth (or at least more consistently) than I recall other books doing, by exploring her dynamic with El-Mudad's children, who were long out of babyhood when they came into Sophie's life. So I won't say that cognitive dissonance isn't recognized and discussed, only that I wish it had never had to happen in the first place.

But the list goes on. Some readers apparently dislike El-Mudad (not me, I adore him.) So they're going to be unhappy he's even around, let alone getting a happy ending with Neil and Sophie. Holli and Deja and Penny all have to show up--and man, even though I'd read the first two of Penny's spin-off novels back when they came out, I'd managed to forget she was a character at all, it's been so long. It's been long enough that I'd also forgotten, when Sophie runs into Ian at a party, that she slept with him and his ex-wife back in their collective swinging days. As for me, I didn't really like The Sister that much (relatively speaking to the other novels) so I was forced to sit through Molly half-heartedly being important to the plot again, and the only-sort-of-resolved issue of Sophie in denial about her diabetes. I don't particularly feel like either plot thread enriches the story, and even the tiny subplot with Molly and Amal, cute in isolation, felt like a complication that we didn't really need on top of everything else we already have to speed-run through.

If there can be said to be a "main" plot of this novel on its own, it's certainly the Laurence/Valerie/Olivia family tangle, and that, I do feel was handled well. The issues were foreshadowed, the complications laid out and entangled with subplots in great detail, and the resolution satisfying. Given that Valerie has been a thorn in our main characters' collective side for the entire run of the series, I would have been disappointed if she didn't still have a major role to play at the end, and as far as that goes, I got what I wanted.

I just also had to wade through a lot of flotsam that I wish could have been left behind.

#booklr #book review #romance novels #the boss series #abigail barnette