#class ended like three days ago actually but i went to a party and a sem ender with some friends so i couldnt get to this immediately

[lovelyela]

she looks like fun || theodore nott x fem!reader

synopsis: new years eve party, based on she looks like fun by arctic monkey. part 2 to she's thunderstorms :)

ela’s note: ignore the fact that it takes place on new years eve and we are half way into january LMAOOO. i wanted to use this song cause it was fitting and my friend suggested it :c

warnings: use of y/n, mentions of smoking, oblivious friends to lovers, cursing, mentions of drinking/alcohol, kissing, confessing, kinda cringe? lazy ending (again), mentions of parties, bad attempt at writing british people.

word count: 1.5k

・❥・

7 months, 30 weeks, 212 days, and a couple hours and a few seconds was how long ago you and theo met.

"aye, mate! ready for the party?" mattheo walked out of the bathroom, towel hanging low on his hips while steam flowed out of the shower.

you were throwing a new years eve party for the students at hogwarts who didn't go back home. mattheo and theo were getting ready.

theo's friends had long known about his new liking towards you, if you could call it that.

after the party in may, the two of you became close friends, finding time to study together, hang out, do projects in classes, and more. because of your guys' new memories and stories, he found himself falling for you even more day after day.

"course i am." theo said, scrolling mindlessly on instagram. your 2023 recap post came up on his feed. first, it was a picture of a sunrise, then one of a cheeseburger you had in italy or some other romantic-looking place. swiping more, he saw pictures of you and your friends, your achievements of that year, you with animals, and finally you snowboarding.

he even made the cut with a secretly taken picture of him staring at a thunderstorm with a blunt in his hand from the night you two met.

mattheo quickly got dressed and polished himself up before the two boys walked to the gryffindor common room.

the party hadn't started yet, but theo and a few other slytherin boys were helping you set up final details.

"hey guys!" you greeted mattheo and theo.

enzo was already helping, and draco and blaise went home to their families so it was just the three for now.

theo felt weak in the knees when he saw you. you were all glammed up for the new year, with your hair done nice and a silky emerald green dress to match the color of 2024.

you wore shoes that were much more elegant than the ones you usually wear, but they were still comfortable to dance and be in.

"you look stunning." theo said without much thought, simply just admiring you.

"thank you." you blushed, face heating up under his gaze. what theo didn't know was how you felt the same.

the times he glanced at you from across the room, the times he laughed at all your bad and funny jokes, the times he did little things for you like holding the door open, all those times did not go unnoticed.

he loved you, and the feeling was mutual.

"what can we help with?" mattheo smiled after a few beats of you and theo smiling each other.

"you can help lorenzo, i asked him to put out the snacks and drinks." you pointed to the other boy, who was putting his heart and soul into a cracker and cheese charcuterie board. mattheo went to him, and began pouring different chips into different bowls.

"and you," you focused your attention back to theo, "you can help me put up streamers."

theo smiled and followed you to the staircase, where golden streamers were put up half-way.

"i'll give you 20 galleons if y/l/n and nott get together tonight," enzo grinned at mattheo.

"i doubt it, they're both too shy to actually tell each other about their feelings." mattheo shook his head. "you know i'm always up for a bet though."

everyone saw it. the professors, your friends, even the paintings and ghosts of hogwarts. they all saw the way you and theo looked at each other, the way you two are always together. they've heard both of you talking about one another like you were desperately in love.

they also knew how oblivious the two of you were. how one of you could yell "i love you," in the other's face and brush it off like nothing.

the 4 of you finished the setup at 8:32, the perfect time as the party started at 9. people already started piling in and chatting with each other.

at 11 pm, you poured yourself a tropical drink, and you got onto the dance floor quickly with your friends and a smile on your face.

30 minutes later, theo was alone, watching you subtly from afar. mattheo was finding a girl to kiss for the new year, and enzo was with his girlfriend he met at the party in may, which actually turned out to be one of your best friends. the italian was debating whether or not to go for a smoke break again.

he decided why not, and went to a hallway empty enough. he cracked open the window and sat on the floor.

he pulled out his only blunt and lighter, but before he could even spark the steel box, your voice interrupted yet again.

"you have to stop running from my parties to smoke some weed," you smiled and set your drink on the windowsill before taking a seat in from of theo.

"and you have to stop showing up to my smoke breaks unexpectedly." he scoffed lightheartedly before putting the lighter and blunt next to your drink.

"but you love it when i do that." you frowned jokingly. "do you have another one?"

"no," he sighed, "i should stop smoking so much this new year." he said.

"maybe." you shrugged. "are you having fun?" you questioned, tracing shapes on your knee.

"i always have fun at your parties," he said, "you're lots of fun."

"i'm flattered." you smiled, "did mattheo and enzo ditch you?" you questioned. you saw enzo and mattheo inside, so you could only jump to conclusions.

"not necessarily ditched." he said, "riddle is flirting around and berkshire is with his girlfriend."

"they're cute!" you said, "they're almost at 6 months, right?"

"i think so," theo shrugged. "they're really a good match."

"i wish i had a match like that." you said, "they're so great together, they have each other's humor, they're both loyal and secure, they let each other live their own lives and be independent, they're fun to be around, just like the perfect couple."

theo bit his tongue. he couldn't tell you, he couldn't have you knowing how he felt.

you couldn't know about how you made his day. you couldn't know how your smile or gaze alone made his heart flutter. you couldn't know about how he loved your guys' cloudy day hang outs. you couldn't know how he thought about you every waking second. hell, even when he slept, he dreamt of you. you couldn't know about how he loved sharing every whimsical thought that entered his mind with you. you couldn't know about how much fun he had with you, talking shit about people who did you two dirty and being dickheads. you couldn't know.

"i think we'd be a perfect couple."

shit.

"what?" you were taken aback in the best way possible.

"i meant-" he tried explaining, but just like a cheesy romcom, your best friend, enzo's girlfriend ran outside for you.

"it's agora hills!" she said, taking your hand and pulling you into the room.

theo was speechless, it happened so quick, and your reaction was not promising whatsoever.

he almost started panicking, but he had to clear the air. the secret was out, and even though it might end the friendship, you had to know.

he entered the common room, searching for you in the crowded room. he saw mattheo with some slytherin girl, and enzo was talking to some guys in ravenclaw.

he ignored them and kept looking for you.

the same way he's looked for you his whole life.

agora hills stopped and a minute timer came on, people started cheering and it was evident. 1 minute until the new year.

he finally found you after you emerged from the crowd, you were so happy he was tall enough for you to easily scout him out.

"y/n, let me explain." theo pleaded.

"no need, theo." you smiled.

"30 seconds!" someone said in the crowd.

"i've liked you for so long. since you approached me in may, i was interested in you. i've been falling for you everyday since then. these past 7 months were so fun, and i know it'll fuck our friendship up, but i can't miss this opportunity." he yapped, rushing.

20 seconds.

you smiled, your heart becoming warm after he confessed after nearly half a year of waiting. "theo, i like you too." you said.

"10!"

theo blinked at you, not processing the information.

"9!"

"can i kiss you?" you asked.

"8!"

"what?" he asked back, caught so off guard since he was fully ready to be rejected.

"7!"

"can i kiss you, idiot!?" you smiled again, knowing he thought he was dreaming.

"6!"

the question you asked finally registered in his brain.

"5!"

"..are you sure?" he questioned.

"4!"

"yes, im sure, theo!" your grin grew wider.

"3!"

he smiled from ear to ear, heart fluttering when he realized this was real. you felt the same way.

"2!"

you both leaned in, eager to make you two official.

"1! happy new year!"

and you two kissed. sparks flew and it could be compared to magic.

the two of you pulled away after a few moments, and smiled.

"woah."

・❥・

reblogs, likes, and replies are ALWAYS appreciated <3

dni if you support pro-life, racism, homophobia, transphobia, antisemitism, sexism or anything along those lines!

#theodore nott x fem!reader #theodore nott x y/n #theodore nott x you #theo nott x reader #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott imagine #theodore nott #theo nott x y/n #theo nott x fem!reader #theo nott x you #slytherin boys x fem!reader #slytherin boys x you #slytherin boys x reader #slytherin boys #theo nott

[phantomtwitch]

Electric Core/No One Knows AU

I meant to post this for some event, but never got around to it. Since AO3 is functionally down at the moment, I figured I'd share it in case folks are looking for something to read. It's kind of similar to 'As the Ice Begins to Crack' in terms of vibes (or at least that's what I was aiming for - I want to write more AUs in that vein, and I might expand more on this at some point).

Enjoy!

Tucker knows it’s coming as soon as the air shifts. 

The differences are subtle at first. A faint whiff of ozone, a slight chill to the air as the wind picks up and sweeps the fall leaves into spirals over the ground, and then the hairs on his arms stand on end. Then comes the low-pitched hum, the hiss that sounds like electricity running through high-voltage cables, peppered with the occasional burst of static and awful whining as the air grows heavy and thick, the sky darkening even when moments ago the sun shone brightly above them.

Sam freezes next to him, her fingers clutching her milkshake tightly as her eyes dart from side to side, looking for somewhere to hide until they land on an abandoned house nearby. “Come on,” she insists, tugging at his hand.

“Sam, there’s no way that place is safe, it’s been condemned for years–”

“--and being out here with Phantom is?” she interrupts, and Tucker scowls, knowing that she’s right, but moving from one dangerous spot to another isn’t ideal. There’s nowhere else close enough to go, though, or at least not anywhere they won’t risk getting struck once the lightning starts, and he follows her with a groan and an eye roll. They’re on the porch when the first lightning bolt strikes the pavement nearby, making it explode and sending shrapnel flying that barely misses him and Sam, and thunder roars, painfully loud and close. He slaps his hands over his ears, trying to block out what noise he can, but his ears are still ringing when it stops.

Sam forces one of the windows open and climbs through, with Tucker following shortly after. The house is empty and covered in heavy dust that makes Tucker sneeze as they disturb it, the air almost as oppressive inside as it was out, and in the corner he can see signs of something rotting that he doesn’t dare approach. 

The two of them stand at the window even though they both know better. When a ghost that is more an embodiment of the storm than the kind of vague, intangible figure haunting ghost stories becomes a common fixture in town, endless safety lectures and drills become the norm. Knowing what to do in the event of a thunderstorm is the closest the teachers can get to explaining the safety precautions that are necessary when Phantom is about. 

He’s only actually seen Phantom once before, when Sam begged him and Danny to go on a ghost hunting trip back in freshman year on Halloween. Tucker wasn’t terribly interested in ghosts, but he was too old for trick-or-treating and not popular enough to score an invite to any parties, so he agreed. Danny did, too, but bailed at the last minute, claiming he felt too tired and sick to go with them. 

Tucker tries not to think about Danny too much. The three of them haven’t spoken in close to six months, at least, drifting further and further apart despite his and Sam’s best efforts to stay friends their first two years of high school together. Most days he’s barely in class anymore, and when he is Danny is constantly tucked away in a corner, curling in tightly on himself, careful to avoid getting too close to anyone. Dark circles constantly ring his eyes, his expression hollow and skin too pale. Sam asked Jazz once before she went off to college if Danny was seriously ill and she denied it, even as it was clear something about him had changed since high school started.

“Do you ever talk to Danny anymore?” he asks suddenly, and the shift in conversation as they peer out the window and wait for the elusive Phantom to make his appearance catches Sam off guard.

“No. Does anyone?” she says, her tone resigned as another loud peal of thunder echoes around them, and Tucker swears he sees the house shaking. They argued a few times about what to do and what else to try, never figuring out a way to reach him. 

“I guess not.” He turns back to look outside, rubbing his arms as a figure blinks into existence on the road. The features are hard to make out, as always, because of the bright green lightning that flickers across his form, making it nearly impossible to stare at Phantom for too long. His hair looks wispy and white, his eyes swirling pools of green amidst a heavily shadowed face, and his form is hazy and more like smoke or dark clouds in the vague shape of a person, yet there’s an odd solidity in the way that he moves at times, as if by far heavier and present than he ought to be in this inhuman state. 

The words that come out when Phantom speaks next aren’t any language humans can hope to imitate, but it’s clearly a form of communication, the ear piercing whine and buzzing reminding Tucker of standing beneath high-voltage wires even as it rises and lowers in pitch and the rhythms shift. There’s an echo to the words, a way it loops through the air as if constantly caught inside a tunnel no matter where Phantom appears, and his voice gets under Tucker’s skin, prickling like static beneath the surface and making him rub his arms more fiercely than before.

Another ghost roars back, his voice full of snarling and hissing, the sounds animalistic even as there’s a mechanical clicking that accompanies it, and Tucker recognizes it and winces as he spots the strange robotic ghost flying in mid-air, green flames cascading down his skull and back, completely unhampered by the rain that is now beginning to steadily fall. The Fentons call him Skulker. The hunter ghost is infamous, stalking his ‘prey’ throughout Amity Park, although what particular creature ends up being his prey in any given week is often impossible to know until it’s too late. Mostly what he hunts are other animals and ghosts, and for whatever reason, Phantom has long been one of his favored targets.

But the ghost stands little to no chance against Phantom.

“Maybe we should get away from the window,” suggests Tucker uneasily as a green blast extends from Phantom’s palm, swirling with crackling green lightning as it lashes out at Skulker, and sparking arcs of electricity dart from it, sparking against a stop sign and dancing across the pavement towards their hiding place. Though no one has ever seen Phantom directly attack a human before, his powers are wild and dangerous, the lightning barely controlled.

And Tucker’s all too aware that just because no one has ever witnessed Phantom attacking someone before doesn’t mean he wouldn’t do it.

“No, I want to watch,” whispers Sam stubbornly as she peers through the window, but her knuckles are white as she grips the window frame. Tucker barely suppresses a sigh as he remains firmly in place. The things he does for his best friend.

His only friend, a quiet voice whispers, but he ignores it. 

The fight is brutal, the ghosts barely visible as they attack each other, but the evidence of their fight is everywhere as green fire spirals, intertwining with the lightning amidst the rain. “It’s kind of beautiful, isn’t it?” says Sam, the lights and shadows dancing in front of them, and he nods despite himself. It’s terrifying, inhuman. The Fentons’ say that ghosts are nothing more than imprints, echoes of post-human consciousness, but as he watches them fight Tucker realizes he’s never truly understood exactly what that means, if they’re spirits or souls or just the fading echoes given some unnatural life at the very moment of someone’s death. 

“How do you think Phantom died?” he asks as Skulker slams into the pavement, the machinery smoking and his flames dwindling as the rain comes down harder, and Sam doesn’t answer, likely unable to hear him over the downpour and crackle of thunder. They watch as Phantom looms over Skulker, his indistinct form more monstrous than ever, and then he slams a fist into the machinery, his fingers sharp, black claws that spark as they dig through the metal frame and pull out a shimmering, shifting ghost, so tiny compared to the hulking frame encapsulating it. 

The rain begins to slow and Tucker wonders for a moment what Phantom will do, if he will destroy the squirming helpless thing in his hands, but then there’s a soft whisper, the sounds that come from Phantom no longer sending chills down his spine but inviting comfort instead, of an odd sort of warmth and gentleness. The ghost–is it Skulker? Tucker isn’t sure–responds in a mewling, annoyed tone, but stops fighting back as Phantom pulls an odd soup like container from . . . Tucker isn’t sure, actually, just where Phantom pulls it from, but he flicks the cap open with practiced ease and sucks the small ghost inside. 

“Isn’t that one of the Fentons’ inventions?” wonders Sam, and Tucker jolts as he realizes she’s right. He remembers seeing it once in one of the assemblies, but the device has rarely appeared in their arsenal since they created the portal guns to send the ghost back to their own dimension instead. “Think he stole it from them?”

“With the level of security they have around that place? Doubt it,” says Tucker. Though it’s been ages since he was last at the Fentons, their ghost security was aggressive enough that it would target sufficiently ecto contaminated humans by mistake, let alone a incredibly powerful ghost like Phantom. Tucker doubts they’ve downgraded their security since then, especially since the number of ghost attacks are only increasing. “Maybe he found it in the trash.”

“Maybe,” she hums, sounding doubtful, and it’s at that moment that the electric green eyes snap towards them, focusing intently, and although it’s too late both Sam and Tucker duck in a futile effort to hide. 

“Shit,” hisses Tucker, and Sam shushes him, putting a finger to her lips, but it’s too late as the air in front of them crackles and flickers as a bolt of electricity impossibly strikes the floor in front of them, Phantom appearing within it, his arms wrapped around the thermos. He and Sam flinch as they curl in towards each other, Sam’s hand grasping his own tightly now as the two of them tremble, and he can barely stand to look at Phantom, the electricity arcing along his body too bright. 

A hiss of static erupts, the same odd ghost speech as always, but this time Tucker understands it, hearing words within the noise even though that shouldn’t be possible. “You shouldn’t stay here,” says Phantom, the sparks around him diminishing, although now that Tucker can make out his features more clearly it’s almost worse as he opens his mouth to speak, sharp white fangs sparkling within. 

“Well where else were we supposed to go with you out there fighting?” grumbles Sam, and Tucker stares at her in horror, unable to believe she would dare to speak to any ghost, let alone Phantom, that way. But the ghost lets out an odd sound, of echoing loops and trills and whirring, and it takes Tucker a second to realize he’s laughing. 

“Fair. But this place is haunted,” he replies with a grin, “and the ghost that lives here doesn’t take kindly to intruders.”

“That’s–um–fine,” stutters Tucker, squeezing Sam’s hand tightly before she can utter another word as he forces himself to his feet. “We’ll, um, get going. And, um, thanks.”

The sparks stop running along his body, freezing at midpoints in a way that completely unnerves Tucker, as if the ghost is frozen in a photo instead of standing in front of them. “Thanks?” he repeats.

“For stopping the ghost?” he squeaks out. “And warning us about the, um, other ghost haunting this place?” His voice is so high that Tucker thinks he could sing soprano right now if Phantom asked. 

Phantom continues to stare at him, saying nothing and remaining so still Tucker would swear he’s a statue, and eventually Tucker swallows as he grabs Sam’s hand and tries to pull her through the window, but she refuses to budge. “Sam,” he hisses, tugging again. “Come on. Let’s go.”

“Not yet,” she insists. “Phantom . . . Are you . . . do you have a place to go?”

“I’m not a lost puppy,” he says, the unnatural stillness rolling off him with a wave of sparks. “And I can’t be near humans for long anyway. It’s hard to control the electricity, and dying from electrocution is a terrible way to go.” There’s a noise behind the words, an echo of long, awful scream that makes Tucker shiver and instinctively realize then that Phantom is speaking from experience, and for the first time it occurs to him that the noises that comprise each ghost’s individual speech aren’t half as random as he believed. 

It’s the sound of their death, echoing for eternity, never letting them or anyone else forget. “Is that . . .” asks Sam, wanting to confirm it.

“Yes,” he says simply, and then there’s the sound of something breaking upstairs, a window smashing and shattering, and static prickles against Tucker’s skin. “You should go.”

“Right. And, um, bye, I guess?” says Tucker awkwardly, and finally Sam follows him out the window and back out onto the street. Despite the sounds upstairs, there’s no broken glass outside beneath any of the windows above them, and as he glances back he can see Phantom’s eyes watching, considering them carefully, before another bolt strikes and he vanishes in a clap of thunder, leaving Sam and Tucker alone once more. 

#danny phantom #dp fanfiction #electric core au #creepy Phantom #I do not know why I always do creepy Danny fics as a Tucker POV #but here we are again #¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #my writing #look i just really like Tucker

[sugacookees]

lovebug again

✩ boo seungkwan x reader ✩ high school setting, fluff, mutual pining, mentions of death  ✩ w.c. approx. 7.1k ♫ this town - niall horan; lovebug - jonas brothers; for lovers - lamp; forever&more - role model; la la la that’s how it goes - honne; falling for you - colbie caillat

I hate being sick.

Everyone does, but some people enjoy the special treatment they receive from loved ones. But in my household, that is never the case. When I get sick, it always seems to be my fault. Too much time on my cellphone, not enough sleep, going out with friends too much—every leisure activity that could be blamed except for the fact that it actually happens.

Teenagers get two to four colds a year on average. But maybe I’m not a teenager after all since my mom says I should never catch a cold. Only weak people do. And annoyingly so, I kind of agree. As president of the class and of the school council, each day is vital. So, being sick is totally not on schedule and ruins everything. The time I’m spending lying on my bed staring at my ceiling could have been time for me to finalize our plans for the fundraiser and the booths for the upcoming school festival. But no, the universe decided that I should become the most helpless human being on earth at the time I'm most needed.

I couldn't even check my phone for updates or messages from other school council members. My mom is convinced that my phone single-handedly caused me to catch a virus and that it should be kept away from me. She even went out of her way to wrap it in a drawstring bag so my sister wouldn't get sick like me. I tried to do some schoolwork in advance, but I felt like my head was about to fall off, so I quickly abandoned that plan. 

It was a day ago in Chemistry class when I started feeling ill.

“Okay, here are five chemical equations to balance. I’ll give you a couple minutes to accomplish this and then we’ll get right to checking them.”

I look down right away at my notebook and copy the equations. By the second one, the numbers and letters are starting to jumble and lose sense. I feel like I’ve been reading the same number over and over again. I look up and around at my classmates to see if I’ve just been looking down too much, but I quickly regret it as soon as I see Jisoo’s head in front of me turn into three. I clutch my head and shut my eyes closed, hoping it would go away. Nevertheless, I go back to my problem set and attempt to accomplish it.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Looking to my right, where the voice is coming from, I see Seungkwan, who looks concerned. I quickly reassure him that I’m fine and that it’s probably just the heat. He nods in agreement, but does so hesitantly. Anyhow, I couldn’t find it in me to reassure him further as another wave of pain hits my head, and right at that moment I think I would just like to be hit by a train and be done with.

As I am looking down, I see a peek of navy blue hovering by my peripheral. I slowly turn my head towards it and see a jug held by Seungkwan, still with his worried face.

I’ve known Seungkwan for years. Our parents know each other way back from their childhood as we live just about 7 houses down by each other. It’s a small town too, so we go to the same market, same bakery, same school, and same dainty old cafes and restaurants. On holidays, we exchange meals and gifts, and simple hellos and goodbyes.

I remember the time before Nari was born. Seungkwan and I would always run around the house and play together. He invited me to his birthday parties, and I did too. Though, when we grew up and my father passed, I found myself forever changed. Seungkwan and I started to drift apart as a result of that, among other things.

Seungkwan has always been the most extroverted one in the room, and me, well, I’m completely on the other end of that spectrum. Wonwoo and Jiheon have always been quite introverted as well so we quickly got along. Surprisingly though, Wonwoo had also made friends with Seungkwan along with a few other boys. We would all be together from time to time at the park, the boys playing sports, and Jiheon and I, along with the other younger siblings of the boys, playing a definitely more beginner-friendly version of whatever game they were playing. All in all, we all got along well. Seungkwan and I would exchange conversations every now and then, but we weren’t as close and playful as we were before.

But I must admit, I have, and always will, hold a special fondness for Seungkwan. He was always sweet and kind, and even loved by all the elderly people in town. I recall the time I was out to buy some bread for our house, I saw him happily chatting with Chan’s grandmother. I say chatting, but more like gossiping by the way they were hunched and shifting their eyes. He would always make sure everyone in class was included, and he would always make everyone happy with his jokes and skits that he, Seokmin, Jisoo, and surprisingly, Jihoon, would act out. Seungkwan would also unhesitantly offer assistance to the student council during major projects. Sometimes, he would even stay late with me, saying, “So you have less to do tomorrow, and more time to rest!” He would then walk me home, and never forget to greet my parents and wish them well.

Seungkwan is lovely. And he is even more lovely now as he offers his water to me. Our drinking fountains have been under maintenance recently so, if I take up his offer he’ll have to wait until he gets home to get a drink again. He sees me hesitate and about to reject his offer, so he firmly places his tumbler on my desk and turns back to his notebook, offering no space for compromise.

In perfect timing, Mr. Hyun announces that the time is up and it’s time to check our answers. I pick up the tumbler, open it, and drink. I turn to Seungkwan quickly and smile. He smiles back.

By the next day, the headaches still come and go, but I keep it to myself and head to school anyway. During our break time, Wonwoo and Jiheon notice my weakened state and urge me to go to the school clinic.

“I’m fine! Just sleepy, that’s all.”

They share a look and thankfully leave my table.

But my peace is soon ruined as Jiheon slams a piece of paper on my desk. A clinic slip. The loud thump gathers the attention of the class, and they take notice of the much familiar white paper that occupies my desk.

“Oh my god, class president is sick?!” Soonyoung exclaims while exaggeratingly covering his mouth.

Usually unconcerned Hansol, Myeongho, and Junhui jerk their heads in my way with horrified expressions.

“I’m not sick! It’s just a small headache. It’ll go away soon.”

“It won’t.” Wonwoo says firmly with his arms crossed. “You’ve been having them since yesterday. Go to the clinic right now or else I’ll drag you there myself.”

Now, I'm usually assertive and tend to win in situations, but when I remember how Wonwoo once dragged Mingyu down the stairs by his backpack down the stairs because they were running late, I decide to sign the slip. I definitely don't want to be dragged like that.

On my way out, Jeonghan and Jisoo give me a few applauses with matching devious smirks.

I point at them accusingly and say, “Unlike you, I’m not pretending just to get out of class.”

Now here I am, at home, holed up in my room, bored out of my mind. Until, I hear a knock on my door and see Nari peeking in.

“Unnie, your classmate’s downstairs. He’s talking with Eomma. Come quickly.” She says hurriedly before rushing out.

I wonder what’s Wonwoo doing here. He usually sends me a text if he’s coming over. Well, he’s been one of my best friends for years, and he has come over a lot, so it’s not like my family has no idea of his existence, and maybe, he thought that sending me a text would end up in me stopping him from coming over. Probably.

Knowing it's only Wonwoo, I skip glancing at the mirror to fix my appearance; after all, he's seen me worse. Still feeling a bit lightheaded from lying down for hours, I make my way downstairs.

“Yah, Wonwoo. You couldn’t even se-“

I halt and gape at the man in my living room who is definitely not my best friend with fifty-eight centimeter wide shoulders (we got bored in class).

Seungkwan stands there in his collared navy blue sweatshirt, holding a basket of tangerines, looking at me with an alarmed face, then gives me a soft smile. It is at this moment I truly realize how much the universe hates me. I probably look like absolute shit right now, and Nari’s sly smile only confirms that further. That little girl.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude or whatsoever. I hope it’s okay. I’ll just drop this off and go, I’m sorry again.”

My mom quickly butts in, “No, no! It’s alright Seungkwan. The gesture is much appreciated. And I know this one has been dying for a familiar face that isn’t ours.” She gives me a look, which I have no idea what it even means, and smiles. She takes the basket and heads to the kitchen bringing Nari along.

In the living room, Seungkwan and I find ourselves standing awkwardly, a noticeable gap between us. It's evident that he wants to say something, but he seems hesitant, perhaps fearing that he might not be welcome. Unable to bear the silence any longer, I take the initiative and speak up.

“Thank you for coming by the way. And for the tangerines too. Those are my favorite.”

“I know.”

His response catches me off guard, and my surprise seems to have unconsciously shown on my face, prompting him to explain further.

“In middle school, we were asked to bring our favorite food. You came in holding this single medium-sized tangerine. And you know, my family has a farm so I brought one too. I was really embarrassed because Seungcheol had brought this full-blown meal and everyone was gathered around him. But then you saw me, approached me and told me-“

“‘Tangerines are cuter anyway.” I finish.

We both share a laugh and in between our laughter he asks me, “What the hell does that even mean anyway? How could tangerines be cute?”

I look at him fondly and answer, “Well, they just are.”

There’s a pregnant pause that follows our laughter as we gauge what to do next. As I’m about to ask him what made him drop by, he already answers me with a sheepish smile, “I, uh, just seeing you pale and weak in class, and you not showing up today just really had me worried.” He scratches his head and looks away. “So, I decided to check-up on you to see if you were alright.

Despite my disheveled bed hair, crusty and pale lips, and being dressed in Anpanman pajamas, I confidently say that I'm doing well.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be coming to school tomorrow.”

He gives me a worried look, like the one he gave me a day ago in Chemistry. “Are you sure? I think you should rest more. The council’s doing alright with the prep anyway.”

Feeling my stomach flutter at his genuine concern, I try to brush it off, blaming it on my feverish state, and reassure him that I'll be okay.

“I’ll be fine, Kwan. It’s just a cold.”

Kwan. I hadn’t realized I used a nickname for him I gave him years ago until I had said it. Either he didn’t notice, or doesn’t really care as it doesn’t seem to have caught him off-guard, seeing that he still seems to worry about me.

“If you say so…”

Ever the worrywart, but undeniably cute.

?!

“Well, it’s about to get dark in a while so I should head home. It was good seeing you. I hope you feel better. And if you ever decide not to come to school tomorrow that’s a hundred percent just fine, and I’ll take care of letting our teachers and the council know.”

I chuckle and walk him to the door.

“Thank you, Seungkwan. For coming by, and for the tangerines. I really appreciate it. Be safe on your walk back, and see you in school tomorrow.”

A few steps away from the door, he turns around, now walking backwards, with that charming smile and says, “I mean this in the nicest way possible. I hope I don’t.” As he walks away, that smile still on his face, I wave goodbye, returning the gesture with a warm smile of my own.

Subconsciously admitting that I do feel a little under the weather, I retreat back inside, hoping to get more and better rest.

Nearing the staircase, my mom stops me, and Nari hovers behind her with a smile that makes me feel uneasy.

“So,” she starts, annoyingly elongating the ‘o’. “I haven’t seen you and Seungkwan together for a while.” I quickly try to jump to correct her until she interrupts me. “I mean, you know, conversing. Especially with him coming here to our home.”

“Yeah, conversing.” Nari butts in, also, elongating her vowels. I roll my eyes at them.

“Tell that sweet boy he should come over often like the old days. Makes me feel younger.” My mom yells.

Don’t think I’ll be doing that, but like the good daughter I am, I say okay anyway and go back to my room.

My head pounds as I struggle to wake up, attempting to open my heavy eyes. The blaring alarm in the background adds to my discomfort, and I quickly move over to silence it. Another second of that noise, and my head might just explode. Despite feeling weak, I gather the strength to stand up, determined to get ready for school

Looking at my state and the fact that I can’t even tie my shoes right without getting lightheaded should be enough reason for me to garbage the idea of going to school. But then, I remember all my missed classes and the council preparations. I can’t miss one more day.

During breakfast, I try my best to act normal and perfectly healthy. Nari gives me a side eye every now and then, waiting for a moment to catch me red-handed; pretending not to be sick. Fortunately, my mom is preoccupied with getting ready for work and preparing our lunches, so she doesn't pay strict attention to my condition.

So far so good.

I collect my things and head out. As I open the door, the sun blares right at me so I cover my eyes with my hands and take a few steps forward to get into the shade. As soon as I remove my hand, I jump out of surprise at the sight of Seungkwan.

“Yah! Are you trying to kill me?! What are you doing?!”

“I’m sorry! I just..” He trails off and leads me into confusion.

“You just…?”

“My mom!” He screams frantically, and I jump in surprise again. “My mom also knew about you getting sick, so she asked me to accompany you to school to make sure you were okay.”

“Oh, well, she really didn’t have to. I’ll send her a text that I’m alright-”

“No!” He screams again.

“Seriously! Why do you keep screaming so early in the morning?!” His agitated state isn't exactly helping mine, and the never-ending screaming is starting to make me lightheaded again.

“I’ll do it. I mean- you don’t have to send her a text. I’ll tell her myself later. Don’t. Send a text.”

“Okay, alright!!”

I turn towards the direction of the school and start walking. He quickly follows and walks beside me.

Trying to make small talk, he asks me, “Are you feeling better today?”

“Yeah I am.” Well, technically, yes I am better. I didn’t say anything about feeling totally okay, so I’m totally, technically, not lying.

“That’s good,” is all he says.

He doesn’t make further small talk and we make our way to school in comfortable silence. Even if we hadn’t maintained a close friendship all these years, I can never feel uncomfortable around Seungkwan. Somehow, he always knows when I am in need of a cheery conversation, or time to be left alone. He also supports me in any endeavor I take on, like running for class president, and school council president. He even went as far as taking Soonyoung and Seokmin to the crafts store, buying materials to make a ton of banners and posters for me. I thanked them by treating them to Chan’s grandmother’s restaurant.

As we arrive in our classroom, our arrival makes some commotion.

“Oh? Class president, hello! Seungkwan-ah… hello to you too.” Soonyoung greets, adding a wink for whatever reason at the end.

As we walk to our seats, I feel lingering eyes following our every move. I look back and see Seokmin and Soonyoung whispering to each other. I raise a brow at them, and turn back to my seat shaking my head.

“Sorry about Soonyoung. I guess he missed you.” Seungkwan says beside me as he settles on his seat. “We all did…” He adds.

Wonwoo and Jiheon approach me asking about how I was and if I was feeling better. I fed them the same remarks (not lies) as I did Seungkwan. Wonwoo looks at me accusingly but decides to brush it off and keep to himself. If I don’t want to be sent home, I should really look out for Wonwoo. He might smell my bullshit about being okay from a mile away.

I made sure to bring a lot of water, using the big jug my mother uses on family trips. And also, to avoid Seungkwan offering his, and ending up infecting him. After all he’s done for me, I really don’t want to do that to him.

I excuse myself and head to the restroom to take a pain reliever, so a headache wouldn’t come over and torture me during class. After doing just that and trying to get myself together, I head back and continue as normal.

At lunch, Wonwoo and Jiheon eat with me. As I open my lunchbox and pause, both of them point at me accusingly, “Aha! I knew it! You’re still sick aren’t you?”

I guess my reaction, or lack thereof, to seeing my lunch was a dead giveaway that I don’t feel so up to par. Usually, I would get excited and eat right away, leaving no crumbs for Jiheon to steal.

“Ugh, but I feel better now. I promise!” I beg, mostly to Wonwoo. “Help me here Jiheon, please?”

“Sorry, I’m with Wonwoo on this one. You’ve been overworking yourself these days and coming to school today will just make your fever worse. You need to rest. It’s okay to, y’know?” She says.

I lean back on my chair, any appetite I even had, gone. I appreciate my best friends’ worries, but I really can’t afford missed days. But maybe they’re right. I can rest, and if I push myself harder I’ll miss more school days than I should.

Wonwoo pulls out an all-familiar slip and pushes it towards me. A clinic slip, all filled out and ready for me to bring. “We’re only worried about you. It’ll be better anyway if you were here in perfect, healthy condition, than physically being here but your mind—no offense, helpless.”

I take the slip and put it in my pocket. And since I don’t have any appetite, nor will I be in the classroom, I offer my lunch to Jiheon, which she accepts excitedly. Wonwoo shakes his head.

I leave the room and head to the clinic. On the way, I really start to feel my fever taking a toll on my body. What even possessed me to leave my bed and get ready? I should have stayed and slept all day.

When I get to the school clinic, they take my temperature and quickly assess that I should be sent home (again) for better recovery. Nurse Yang tells me she’ll ask someone to bring my stuff over for me.

After waiting for a bit, the sound of the chimes by the door brings my attention to Jisoo who is wearing my backpack.

“Thanks, Jisoo.”

“No problem. Though, I’m kinda jealous.” I smack him square on the shoulder. Nurse Yang gives us a side-eye glance. “Kidding. Obviously.” He heads out the clinic, but not before shouting, “Get well soon, our president!” I chuckle at Jisoo’s antics. “Sorry about that.” I tell Nurse Yang, to which she only shakes her head at.

“Your mother says she’s near, you should go to the gate now. Get well soon, dear.”

“Thank you, Nurse Yang. Hopefully you won’t see me back here anytime soon.” I really, genuinely, hope that.

I meet my mom, who is visibly mad, at the school gate. As soon as I get in the car, she gives me a lecture. I drown it out, and use my headache as an excuse to nap, even for a bit.

As soon as we get home, she orders me to stay on the couch for dinner and to drink some ginger tea. Even though the couch might not be as comfortable as my bed, I still snuggle in and nap.

The sound of the doorbell wakes me up. Despite being just a few feet away from the door, I refrain from standing up to get it. I know my family understands my current sickly state, and they will likely get it themselves. I hear the door open and my mom’s delighted gasp.

“Ah, Seungkwan!” I jolt upright and check if my ears heard that right. I look at the door, and there he is, right outside, holding a paper bag and smiling sheepishly at my mom. I contemplate whether I’m dreaming or not, but with Nari tapping my chin, I guess I’m not.

“A fly might go in, Unnie.” She teases then runs away before I give her one.

Seungkwan greets my mother back. “Hello! Just wanted to drop by again and give this samgyetang Eomma made. I also just wanted to check if…” He points at me, on the couch, “…is okay.” He smiles, and waves at me.

“Oh! How kind of you Seungkwan. Come in, come in!” My mom ushers him hurriedly inside, and takes the paper bag from his hands.

She looks at me pointedly, “Make some space for him!”

Seungkwan, alarmed, quickly blurts, “Oh no, it’s okay! I can just stand here...”

Despite his protests, I move my legs off the couch and move off to one side. I look at Seungkwan, who has a look of horror (and a bit of shame) on his face, and pat the very vacant seat beside me.

“Seungkwan, it’s okay. Lying down for so long isn’t great anyway.” I reassure him.

“Well, I won’t be here long. I just wanted to check if you were okay. But also, I felt a bit guilty that I didn’t notice that you were sick this morning.”

If I thought my head pounding was painful, the rapid and loud beating of my heart in my chest is quickly overshadowing that pain. Kind, charming, sweet seat mate and friend Boo Seungkwan, who offered me his water bottle [despite the fact that he can’t get a refill throughout the day], dropped by my house afterwards to give me a basket of tangerines, came to my house early in the morning to accompany me on my way to school [even if he was closer if he were to walk from his home], brought homemade samgyetang, and now says he feels guilty for not noticing I was still feeling sick. I think I might just melt into this couch, actually.

Thinking of nothing to respond, I switch the subject and ask him how his family is doing.

“They’re doing pretty good. My sisters miss seeing you. They always liked you ‘cause they could dress you up and talk about girl things I probably can’t understand.” He laughs.

“Well, I miss them too. Being an elder sister to Nari makes me want one too. I’ll make sure to visit when I get better.”

To that, he merely nods. We’re left in awkward silence again. Running out of things to say, I impulsively invite him over for dinner.

“Oh, no it’s alright, I don’t want to be a nuisance.”

My mom overhears him and quickly excuses him (more like begs him with pleading eyes), “No, Seungkwan. It’s alright. We would love to have you over for dinner! It’s always just us three, so another would make great company.”

“Eomma’s right, Kwan.” 

Kwan. The nickname again. I silently hope he doesn’t notice. And instead of dwelling on why it felt so natural to call him that, like in the old days, I beg him to stay.

“It’s the least we can do for all you’ve done for us, for me. The visits, the tangerines, the samgyetang, your water… Please stay.”

He looks at me to my mother, in deep thought. He fumbles with his hands, and I take notice of how slender and pretty they are. He takes a deep breath as he answers, “Okay.” My mom cheers and shouts my sister and I’s names, telling us to set the table and help her in the kitchen.

“Let me help!” Seungkwan says loudly, standing up from his seat.

“No.” We say in unison. Seungkwan gives up and sits back down with a huff.

During dinner, the atmosphere in our cozy kitchen is delightful, with lively conversation filling the air. A table for four, an antique lamp hanging right above our heads, and a lit candle on the counter. Seungkwan seamlessly fits in, right here beside me, engaging in cheerful chatter with my family. As we lock eyes occasionally, we can't help but share sheepish smiles.

In the middle of Seungkwan telling a story of how his sisters dressed him up for Chuseok last year, a sudden and powerful thunderclap reverberates the room and takes us all by surprise. Nari drops her spoon in surprise and latches on to our mother. As my mom consoles her, I look over at Seungkwan and see him deep in thought.

Oh right, he still has to go home.

“Oh, that must be the rain. Before it gets any stronger, I should probably go…” He says, looking down, afraid to disappoint my mother.

Out of concern (and concern only), I butt in. “What if it gets stronger as you’re walking home? Even with an umbrella, the walk home will still be pretty dangerous.” My overthinking self proves to be quite resourceful at this moment in concocting excuses, even though, in reality, it's not even raining yet. Despite that fact, I continue, “It’ll be better to wait it out, here, where you’re safer.”

I look to my mother in hopes she would agree with me. Her brows are raised but she relaxes them back as soon as I nudge mine for her to interject.

“Oh, yes. Agreed. Definitely. It’s time we took care of you, don’t you think?”

We all look to Seungkwan. An uneasy expression settles on his face. So, to assure him that he isn’t overstaying his welcome (I don’t think he ever can), I place my hand on his arm and smile softly.

“Please?” I squeeze his arm a bit. “I don’t want your family to get mad at me anyway for sending you home drenched.”

He chuckles and places his hand on top of mine. It’s warm. Where is this heat coming from? My fever? My naturally sweaty hands? My hand being sandwiched by his skin? The candle? Or maybe, it has something to do with the loud, fast rhythm my heart is going.

“Okay, okay. You convinced me.” He says out loud. His hand still on mine.

As dinner ends, my mother tells me to put on a movie in the living room to pass time in waiting out the rain. Seungkwan and I make offers to help with the dishes, but my mother is sure she can handle it and doesn’t let us forget that, actually, I’m still sick. Seungkwan, as if hit with this revelation, looks to me with shock as if he had also forgotten why he had come in the first place.

He rushes us back into the living room, settling on the couch, and picking a movie to watch.

“How about that one?”

“The Mimic?! Are you serious?! I’m sorry but no.” He says to me, as if very offended.

“But they said it’s good!”

“How about this one instead?”

The Lover’s Lake, flashes on the TV. I look to him in surprise. I should’ve known he was a rom-com guy.

“See, look. 5 star ratings! This is definitely the one.” He says excitedly. With this much excitement coming from him , I find it impossible to say no. He celebrates shortly, then stands up to dim the lights, setting the perfect mood, and then settles back down, wiggling around to find a more comfortable position. And this said position seems to be at a spot closer to me than he was previously.

I have this thing where, if the movie is good, I tend to instantly fall asleep. And that is just what I did. My eyes were getting heavy about just 20 minutes in. I had felt myself slowly leaning onto Seungkwan, and continued doing so until my head rested on his shoulder. He had not said a word about it, and continued to watch the film.

Maybe it was just my imagination, but he had leaned onto me too. Though, I wouldn’t be so sure about that as I had drifted off to sleep by then.

“Okay, now just pull the bunny ears you’re holding. Pull them tight.”

Following his instructions, I pull tight and successfully tie my shoelaces. His face contorts in delight and breaks out in a big smile.

“See! You did it! Not that hard, right?”

“It was hard.”

He laughs and picks me up in his arms.

Giving me a big smooch on my cheek, he tells me, “I’m proud of you anyway, my love.”

“Thanks, appa.” I say, and hug him tighter.

“Now go back down and show them.”

I run down the stairs excitedly. Today’s my 4th birthday and my family and friends have come to celebrate with me. There’s people towering over me everywhere. Finding my way to my mom to show her my recent feat, I maneuver through the crowd the best I can, but in doing so, I bump into someone.

“Ow, my head!”

As the voice screams out, I instinctively reach for the spot where we bumped, trying to figure out who I even bumped into.

It’s Seungkwan!

“Seungkwan!” He greets me back with the same enthusiasm, both of our pains ebbing away.

“Look!” I point to my shoes and he looks down to see what I’m even excited about.

His jaw drops a bit at the achievement usually only 6 year olds can achieve. “You did those?!”

“Yep.” I say with a proud smile. He continues looking at me in shock and he looks down at his shoes.

Velcros.

I laugh heartily but stop immediately when Seungkwan looks back up at me with an annoyed face.

In an attempt to make him feel better, I ask him if he wants to go get sweets with me. He puts up a bit of a fight before agreeing, but says yes anyway as if it was his last resort.

I take his hand in mine as we weave through the crowd towering over us. He squeezes my hand every now and then, when someone bumps into him and he’s lagging behind, afraid I’ll leave him behind. I tug on his hand.

After what felt like the world’s most grueling journey, we arrive at the kitchen. The sweets are on the counter, but they are really, really high up—way beyond our reach.

Seungkwan and I share a look.

He gives me a nod and I return a look of confusion. He nodded at me like I knew what he was about to do, or that we’ve been through this a million times. He really needs to stop watching those spy movies.

He leaves for a moment and comes back with a stool. As he takes a step on it, it wiggles a bit and I clutch onto him immediately. I look up at him and he merely says, “Oops.” I furrow my brows at him in annoyance.

“Let go of me! I’m so near!” He whines while gently pushing my forehead.

I sigh in defeat and let him go.

He takes another step, both feet on the stool. The added leverage enables him to see the array of sweets on the counter, which, judging by his reaction, is a pretty damn lot.

“Woah! There’s bungeo-ppang, chocopie, songpyeon, and-” He pauses and lets out a gasp.

“What? What is it?! Tell me!” I beg, tugging on his shorts.

He looks at me to create suspense, and then screams in glee, “HOTTEOK! Our favorite!”

In utter surprise and excitement, I pull my hand away from Seungkwan and start applauding. But it seemed like I did it too quickly, causing him to lose balance. From the first wobble, I start screaming his name repeatedly.

“Seungkwan! Seungkwan!” I say it repeatedly, and too fast, that by some point (yes, at this point he is still pretty much wobbling, putting up a good fight) all anyone would hear is, “Kwan! Kwan! Kwaaaan!”

He falls.

I rush to his side and ask him if he’s okay. He stays on the floor, with his eyes closed. After a beat of silence, he starts laughing. I look at him in confusion, wondering if he hit his head too hard. Seungkwan is now crazy and I have to say bye-bye forever.

He opens his eyes and stops laughing as soon as he sees my expression.

“You sounded so funny. ‘Kwan! Kwan! Kwan!” He says, mimicking my voice.

I smack him square on the shoulder.

“Sorry. Here-” He tries to sit up and hands me something. A single piece of hotteok. “Happy birthday!”

I take it from his hand saying, “Oh. Thanks!”

“What happened here?!”

We both look up in surprise at the horrified voice. It’s my mother.

In fear, Seungkwan starts apologizing frantically. “Sorry! We just wanted some sweets but I fell down. Don’t worry they’re still fine! I just got one hotteok though.”

My mom sighs deeply and helps Seungkwan up. She returns the stool from where it came from and reaches for something on the counter.

“Here. One for you, since you fought so valiantly for it.” She says, ruffling his hair. Someone from the living room calls for her. She gives us a smile and walks away.

Seungkwan and I exchange amused glances and burst into laughter. Amidst our laughter, I manage to take a bite of the hotteok now and then, only to continue laughing with my mouth full. Seungkwan playfully teases me, "You hotteok addict! At least wait for us to stop laughing!”

I smack his shoulder again, which seems to urge him to tease me further. “Hotteok addict! Hotteok addict!” He starts mimicking my voice and my rushed tone from earlier, now saying, “Tteokki! Tteokki! Tteokki!”

“What does that even mean?!”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. What does Kwan mean?!”

“Your name is SeungKWAN, stupid!”

“Kwan! Kwan! Kwan!”

“Tteokki! Tteokki! Tteokki!”

“Yah!” We both look at the booming voice, and see my dad towering over us with his brow raised. Seungkwan and I look at each other and nod. Then we start running away in laughter.

A loud thunderstrike jolts me awake.

Huh. My 4th birthday. That was the last time my dad celebrated my birthday with me, and the last time Seungkwan ever saw him alive. What a bittersweet memory.

I try to raise my head but feel a weight on top of it, stopping me from doing so.

My cheeks heat up at the realization. Seungkwan fell asleep too. And, he’s leaning on me.

In a state of panic, I try to make him more comfortable, but only lead myself to move my head and realize how stiff my neck is. I wince in pain which jolts Seungkwan awake. He looks around, feeling heavily disoriented.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to wake you.” I say.

He looks at me with his mouth slightly open, his hair all floofed up in different directions, and a faint red mark on his left cheek where he was leaning on me.

He gains a bit of composure and says, “No! If anything, it’s my fault. Sorry for falling asleep on you. It must have been uncomfortable.” He scratches the back of his head, feeling a bit ashamed.

With no intention of lying, I agree with him. “Yeah, a bit. But it’s alright.” I say, laughing a bit towards the end to make him more comfortable.

“Well, it seems like the rain has stopped. I should head home…”

My mouth opens to say something, but the words seem to escape me, leaving me with a simple, "Oh."

He stands up to collect his things and prepares to leave. I stand and go to the door before he can, then Seungkwan appears in front of me.

I open the door and gesture my hand for him to step out first. He smiles shyly and heads out, with me following right after.

“So, uh, thanks. For coming by today. I really lo-liked having you here.”

“Me too.” He responds promptly. It seems to be a vague response so he adds, “Thank you, I mean. Thank you also for the great dinner and letting me stay for a while. Sorry again for… sleeping on you…” He looks away.

I laugh and tell him, “Kwan, you apologize too much y’know. Honestly, tone it down.”

He lets out a blissful sigh. “Well, I won’t keep you out here for too long. Goodbye.” He wistfully says, saying my name at the end.

“Goodbye, Seungkwan. I’ll see you in school.”

He starts walking away, towards his home, away from me. And for some reason, I wait. I wait for him to do something. Not exactly sure what. But I just feel like I don’t want this to end.

So I rush back inside the house and reach for something below the shoe rack. I run after Seungkwan, shouting his name.

Alarmed, he looks back immediately in shock. I stand before him tired and panting with my hands on my knees.

“What are you-”

“Here-” I hand him an umbrella. It’s pink and has flowers. “You should use this. Y’know, in case it- umm, rains again.”

He appears hesitant, almost ready to decline, but he stops himself and settles for a simple, kind, and gentle, "Thank you. You didn't have to do that.”

We stand in the middle of the street, just staring at each other with soft smiles. Just two people who have been gravitating around each other, now seemingly refusing to be apart.

He breaks the silence and says, “I’ll go now. For real this time,” while pointing a finger at me. We share a laugh.

Feeling a bit ashamed, I look down and say, “Sorry.”

“Ah, it’s alright.”

He smiles at me, and in response, I smile back and nod, silently indicating that I have nothing else to say to hold him back from going home.

“Get well soon, Tteokki.” He says, ruffling my hair. I say nothing about the nickname, like he did all those times before, and keep smiling.

Seungkwan finally turns back and walks towards the direction of his home, and I do the same.

Before I step inside, I can't help but glance back at him. Seungkwan continues walking with the umbrella hanging on his wrist, swinging it along with his arms. I keep my eyes fixed on him until his silhouette fades away.

With a sigh, I turn back inside, unaware that a certain round-faced boy had momentarily halted his walk and looked back, his thoughts mirroring mine. Just for a moment.

After an exhausting day of essentially doing nothing, I plop down on my bed. I fluff my pillows, get under my covers, and hold onto my teddy bear, hoping for the best sleep ever.

However, just as I close my eyes for about three seconds, I hear a notification sound from my phone. Unable to ignore it, I reach over to my bedside table and check the notification. The curiosity of not knowing what it is would surely keep me from sleeping soundly anyway.

It’s a message from my mom.

Confused, I swipe to open our conversation and see that she has sent me an image. It hasn’t fully loaded yet so I click on it and wait.

When the image loads, my heart starts beating quickly.

It’s a picture of me and Seungkwan sleeping on the couch. My head on his shoulder, his head on top of mine. My brows aren’t furrowed like they usually are. I look relaxed; at ease. I don’t look like I’m sick at all. And Seungkwan looks the same.

I zoom in behind us and see Nari smiling wide holding up a peace sign.

I shake my head and react on the picture with an angry emoji. Before I turn off my phone, my finger hovers over a button.

It doesn’t take much resistance from me to go ahead and click it, so I do.

Then a pop-up notification appears on my phone.

Image saved.

I smile to myself, then turn off my phone and head back to sleep.

Maybe I don’t hate being sick anymore.

a/n: loosely based on a dream I had of seungkwan! fun fact: that dream was the reason he ultimately became my bias T__T i miss u boo! Be well, always <3

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[leclerced]

https://www.tumblr.com/leclerced/745220654172864512/httpswwwtiktokcomtzprt2cxdt-this-has-acc

obviously when it all starts, you do start to cling to them a bit more right? Because all these murders happening around is enough to freak a sane person out, especially when it’s classmates, and people you see every day at college you know? and sure there are little things that tip you off, but you don’t want to see them, so you don’t really notice them. how they don’t want you driving around after dark can just be seen as them trying to protect you because there’s a scary murderer around! they’d love the fact that it makes you a little jumpy, and you become so much more attached to them, and they do also have to admit that your fear is hot as hell. They like being your big strong protectors you know?

And realistically. You are probably the safest girl on campus right now, and just because they are a little murder happy doesn’t mean they don’t love you, though it is odd that every time you tell them something that someone did to upset you, that person ends up dead.

-

🩰

ok sorry … this was actually saved in my drafts … so it was my fault this time not tumblrs. i hit save not post. but i found it !!!

the first murder happens after the three of you go to a party, at some point you get separated from them. you went to pee while they were playing beer pong and somehow get distracted, bump into some friends after peeing and forget to make your way back to your boyfriends. twenty minutes pass and you suddenly remember promising to return to them, so you do. only they aren’t at the pong table anymore. you check your phone for texts, assuming they went looking for you and may have texted or called, but there’s nothing.

you spend an hour searching the house party for them, texting and calling both before you give up and decide to go home. you text the group chat, and both of them privately, and hit the “notify anyways” button that tells you their phones are both on do not disturb. the walk is short and uneventful, but because you’re alone and it’s dark, you’re a bit scared until you get home. you go to bed and try not to be annoyed that you were ditched. there’s got to be a worthy explanation.

when you wake up hours later to your boyfriends crawling into bed, you’re angry. mostly, from being woken. “excuse me. what time is it?” you lift your wrist and check the time on your smart watch, not even allowing them enough time to check and answer. “it’s four am. where have you been?”

max grunts, “we fell asleep upstairs.” your brows furrow in confusion but before you can ask why they went upstairs, he adds, “fooled around.”

you gasp, “seriously? without me?” it’s a bit rude to be honest. to go upstairs at a party and not take you with.

charles presses his face into your chest, “m sorry, pet, i thought i texted you. make it up in the morning? too tired now.” you glare at max as he cuddles up next to you too, but let them smother you despite the annoyance.

you have a nice morning, they wake you up after letting you sleep in later than usual and clean the apartment up. they debate making breakfast to surprise you, but charles points out their lie from the night before, and how he promised they’d make make up for fooling around without you. so you’re woken with sex and then breakfast, in that order, so it won’t get cold. then you take a nice bath and finally pick up your phone to check it, screen any socials you may have posted on the night before.

instead of seeing photos and videos from the night before on your feed, it’s full of news stories about a student being found dead. it takes two scrolls of your thumb to find out who. eric from your physics class. the guy who sits behind you and incessantly bothers you with his attempts at flirting. the last time you saw him outside of class was a few weeks ago, when he tried to force himself on you at a party. he was kicked out by the frat brothers, one of them caught him trying to corner you on the way to fetch a drink and he was kicked out. you hadn’t told anyone about it, just forced yourself to forget about the situation. you feel guilty for thinking he deserved it.

you find out a few hours later what happened. or at least, what your friends know from the rumor mill. he was at the same party you were, and he left around midnight, then his roommate found him murdered when he came home. it never crosses your mind that charles or max, or both, could be behind it; they went upstairs around two in the morning and came home at four. two of your friends even joked about seeing them go upstairs only to see you coming down minutes before, saying they thought you may have been fighting since you weren’t with them.

you think it had to be related to something he did, you’re convinced it’s a one off. the first murder doesn’t shake you too much, but your boyfriends insist on walking you to and from every class, taking you anywhere you need to go. they make a schedule that works around their own to create a buddy system so you’re never alone. when neither are in class, they’d just wait around for you to need to go somewhere so they could escort you. you think it’s silly until the second person dies. an ex boyfriend who was really shitty to you. your first thought is it was probably a drug deal gone bad until you find out he was stabbed just like eric. that one shakes you.

you excuse it though, and list all the people that also knew both of them. your ex was in the same friend group before he was ousted for treating you like shit, and a few of your friends have had classes with eric. one shared a dorm with him freshman year.

the third one is a girl you met once in the library. she spilled coffee on your laptop and refused to replace it. that doesn’t mean you knew her. it’s not another person connected to you. you tell yourself there’s no reason to freak out. but you really fucking like the buddy system.

#ask #🩰 anon #ghostface lestappen

[acradaunt]

Acra's EO Guild Card Megapost

Guild Cards are a neat thing in the most of the Etrian Odyssey games. Sometimes, they're pretty pointless, but in some, they actually do some neat stuff. I… have a tendency to do multiple playthroughs, to try different team compositions (as seeing how different a game can feel based on your builds is one of my favourite things ever, and I also like abandon them before the big fights, on the hypothetical urge I want to re-fight a boss at an appropriate level an infinite number of times), so I've amassed a fair few of my own.

Why am I uploading these now? Apparently the Nexus database got borked a couple days ago, so this is the perfect time for me to get a few feet in the door. I also swear this is the last time I'll ever post about these, seriously.

EO Nexus -A total of 100 Guild Cards are needed to unlock the Vampire pseudo-class. Obviously, 100 is a lot, so they obviously expected the community, paltry it may be, to come together to make a database. And they did. And then they locked it the second they got 108. And then it died. So now I finally get a second chance to contribute.

Galeforce

-My first (main) playthrough. I actually uploaded a card weekly to help out, but I think only the first one made it on in time. It's not Heroic because it's like a NG+++++ file. This is the final card, but for the weekly set of them, um, here:

Week 0 || Week 1 || Week 2 || Week 3 || Week 4 || Week 5 || Week 6 || Week 7

Stardust

-Filled with all my C-listers that couldn't fit into Galeforce. I ran them as two separate teams; the Boss Killers (shown here), who fought the FOEs/Bosses, and Team Midriff, who did all the exploration.

Sunstorm

-A Guild consisting of classes I mostly avoid using, and portraits I hadn't (as of its conception) used before. As always, there's like another three members that get used that aren't here, including a Survivalist, Nightseeker, and an Arcanist.

Maelstrom

-An attempt at a Nuzlocke-esque run, and also an 'evil' party. Characters stopped being used if they died, but only until the end of the stratum, to not make it overbearing. Being an evil party lacking in support and healing, this was an absolute slog that I considered a total failure by the Jungle.

Brilliant

-An idea for a mage-guild that kinda went askew. Starting as a Sovereign, three Zodiacs, and a Farmer, I ultimately turned this into three single-element teams; Each consisting of a unique Sovereign, a unique Zodiac, two other characters that get earlygame elemental skills (Survivalist's Flame Arrow, Landsknecht, etc.), but the same Farmer (Hazel) across all three. Didn't take it all that far, but worked kinda well!

EOV -Definitely where Guild Cards are seen the most. About 2-4 times every floor, there'll be an event that'll use you GC database to have another guild interact with you in the labyrinth. If you have none, you'll be introduced to memelord Conrad of the Freeblade Guild about 110 times in your course of a playthrough. In stark contrast, Nexus only has GC events maybe a dozen times across the whole game.

Starlight

-Main guild. Not a lot to say. It's a Chain-oriented party, because I love Fencers/Landsknechts.

Bundt

-Cake pun. See, bundt is a type of cake, and the guild is filled with Brouni. As in Brownies, the fairy/pixie/sprite, but I'm punning off the--- ANYWAY. Horrific offense, but don't die easily. Kinda miserable against a few specific enemies like the coffin jerks on 15F, but otherwise worked astonishingly better than you'd expect. Which is; not GOOD, but totally serviceable.

Necrocosm

-My original 'evil' guild, featuring two Necromancers, and edge as far as the eye can see. Two Necros work pretty well together; typically Velvet summoned them and Rue made them explode. The fact Necros heal and have evil vibes let them succeed where Maelstrom would totally fail. I also didn't bench anyone for dying, so that probably helped too.

Firebird

-This playthrough is only saved at Amalgolem and took like a single weekend to get there, so I didn't remember squat about it. Amalgolem is like my single fave boss in the whole series, so I just had to leave a file there. It's heavily skewed towards non-humans, and the bottom deck of the guild is just full of nigh-on unusable cross-classed horrors, like a Celestrian Pugilist and Therian Warlock.

EO2U -Probably where Guild Cards are the most functionally useful. Lets you get the Grimoire Stones the attached character has on hand as many times as you can afford. Pretty nifty, as Grimoires are semi-random in spawning.

Skyquake

-So I didn't actually buy EO2U when it came out for a variety of factors, not least being unaware how different it was from the original EOII, my first EO game. So I've only started this and Untold I fairly recently.

Ironroot

-Holy Gift gives you extra experience, but each level costs twice as much to trade as the previous. That is, you need two level 3 Grimoires to get a level 4. Or 128 level 3s for a single level 10. So having a Guild Card with lowish level Holy Gift is actually pretty dang useful to have.

Untold

-Story Guild. Haven't… uh, haven't exactly been Motivated to do Story mode in Untold 2. On paper, I really dislike the team composition. In practice, hasn't been so bad, but still not enough to make me play them more than necessary.

Fellbloom

-Now legally required Evil Guild. Probably won't ever get past Chimaera.

EOU -Unlike the sequel, Guild Cards don't let you choose what to get from the friend's Guild Card. You just get given a random Grimoire Stone once per playthrough per Guild Card. Kinda lame.

Untold -Unlike later games, only one save file here, and the game nigh-on requires you to play through the Story Mode before doing Classic in NG+, so, that's where we sit.

EOIV -First game to use QR codes. III had Guild Cards, but I don't know how you'd trade them. They do serve a purpose here; each Card gets given a random treasure, and having a Card lets you find that treasure in the overworld. Most are crap, but some are circumstantially useful, and some are permanent stat-boosts, IIRC. I don't think mine was very good…?

Zephyr

-Uh, EOIV had a glitch where your Ventured Days would go up dramatically every time you paused. I think it comes into affect if you ever do NG+. So I haven't actually played for 48 in-game years. Truth be told, now knowing of a way to back up save files, I am admittedly tempted to make a new EOIV playthrough, since it's been like a decade, but for my own sanity, I really probably shouldn't.

#etrian odyssey #guild card #etrian odyssey nexus #eon

[everyonezgirlfriend]

REDAMANCY - one

BLAIR'S POV- September 1st, 2007

Ever since sophomore year, Toby had changed. He wasn't loving at all, he barely talked to me. When I'd tried to break up with him, he'd screamed in my face. Almost hit me, but didn't when he heard his parents walking into the house.

I didn't know what to do about it, this isn't what I wanted out of a relationship, but I stayed. I spoke to Alice about it, she said it was because of my dad.

When I was thirteen, my dad left. Before that, he was abusive. He'd obviously wanted a boy, making him disappointed in everything I, as a girl, did. I wanted to do dance? I was a bitch. I wanted to do a sport? I had to stop acting like a boy. I could never do anything right for him.

But Toby gave me just enough attention. It wasn't enough for a normal relationship, but it was enough for me to feel just a little bit better about the whole 'no dad' thing.

Every time I got close to leaving, he showed me just enough affection for me to think he was changing, then stop when he was assured I wasn't going anywhere.

But I stayed, it had been almost three years now, he was my childhood sweetheart, what could I do about it? Alice was always mad at me for it, but I think she understood, so she was never too harsh.

I think maybe Toby was having a hard time, Bill Lynch had left school at the end of freshman year, and Toby didn't really have a close friend that wasn't me or Alice. He had tons of friends, but none close enough. Maybe he just took his anger out on me.

It was the first day back at school, and the Kaulitz twins' birthday, which just annoyed me. I hated seeing Bill be congratulated just for getting older, he didn't deserve it. I wondered if Tom knew what he did, what he was really like.

"Girls love them," I said to Toby, "Wonder if they'd still love them if they knew they'd rather drug them than actually just talk to them."

"It was over two years ago, Blair," Toby said.

"What? Toby-"

"He was fifteen, he's eighteen now, an adult."

"People like that don't just change."

"Whatever."

I sighed. Looking to the front of the room, where the teacher was beginning to talk. She wished the twins a happy birthday, to which I scoffed. Bill turned and looked at me, giving a dirty look.

｡.｡:+* ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡:+* ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡.｡:+*ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡:

BILL'S POV - September 1st, 2007

"I just don't get it, Tom," I said, sitting down next to my twin in maths class, "Why does she hate me so much?"

"You dwell way too much on it, Bill. It's been over two years. You two were never even friends. I'm pretty sure you spoke to her less than five times before she started hating you."

"Exactly! You know me. Nobody hates me. I'm nice, everyone says it!"

"You're not nice to her."

"Because she's not nice to me! I was nice to her before. What could I have possibly done to her to start this weird feud?"

"Maybe nothing. Maybe she simply just dislikes you. And if she does, she's not worth getting stressed out over."

"I guess you're right. But she could at least put it to rest for today. I don't need to hear her scoffing behind me just because someone wishes me happy birthday."

"At least you know she won't be at our party."

｡.｡:+* ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡:+* ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡.｡:+*ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡:

THIRD PERSON POV - September 1st, 2007

Toby and Blair had plans that night, but Toby cancelled last minute, as in fifteen minutes before he was meant to show up at her house, when she was all dressed and ready to go. Her dad used to do that all the time.

He didn't give any explanation, just said he got caught up in something. Maybe he was mad at her for complaining so much about the twins that day, but she had to. Everywhere she went, someone was talking about their huge party.

Huge party.

No, there was no way. He wouldn't do something like that to her. Surely he wouldn't attend the party of the one singular person his girlfriend hated. She decided to text Alice, just to make sure.

iChat

Blair: Hey, u didn't go to the Kaulitz's birthday party did u?

Alice: Ew, no. Not planning on getting drugged.

Alice: Why?

Blair: Idk, I have a weird feeling Toby went

Alice: I thought u 2 had plans to go to for dinner tonight

Blair: We did, he cancelled fifteen minutes before he was meant to pick me up, I'm literally sat here all dressed up like a fucking idiot

Blair: I was complaining about Bill today a lot

Blair: Only cause I kept hearing his stupid name, but it made Toby really mad, he basically told me I need to get over it

Blair: I can't help but think he's there

Blair: Has he said anything to u?

Alice: U know damn well I'd tell you right away if he was even thinking about going

Alice: But I can come and pick u up and we can go to the twins' house and check if u want?

Blair: Isn't that a little psycho?

Alice: B, your boyfriend is an asshole, u deserve to be a little psycho sometimes. I'll be at ur house in 10

Alice was at Blair's house in exactly ten minutes, and she drove them to the Kaulitz's house. It was a fairly big house, and Blair fould just tell it was packed. There were a few people she didn't recognise from their grade there, like two guys stood on the front porch, one with long brown hair and another with short blonde hair. They looked a little older than her, maybe early twenties.

"Still don't understand how so many people like him," Blair said.

"Don't get mad at them, they clearly don't know what he's like," Alice said, her hand on Blair's shoulder as they walked through the house.

"What if he's, like, cheating on me or something?"

"He wouldn't."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. You know I'm not Toby's biggest fan. In fact, I'm probably his biggest hater, but I know him, he used to be my best friend. He's an asshole and a terrible boyfriend and you really should leave him, but he's not a cheater. If he's here, the only reason he's hiding it from you will be because of Bill."

"And if he's not here?"

"Then he's probably sick, or just being too lazy to get out of his house, or too broke to pay for food."

"I'd pay."

"You shouldn't have to. Anyway, I think we should split up, cover more ground. I'll go upstairs, you do down here. Sound good?"

"Sounds good."

Alice and Blair split off and Blair instantly headed for the living room, where she assumed most people would be. Her eyes landed on Tom, who was talking to some chick. She prayed he'd be the only twin she ran into tonight, but he hopes were crushed when she backed into a tall figure.

She turned around, about to apologise, when she saw it was Bill. She rolled her eyes and tried to walk away, but he stopped her.

"No way, you don't get to roll your eyes at me at my own party. What are you doing here, Schroder?"

"It's none of your business. I'm not here to party."

"The fact you're in my house tells me it's completely my business, and the fact you're dressed so fancy tells me you're here for a party. Why on earth would you show up to a party for the person you hate?"

"I'm not dressed for a party, I'm dressed for dinner."

"No food here."

"I know that, asshole. I was meant to go to dinner with Toby, not that it's your business, but he cancelled. Is he here?"

"He sounds like an asshole."

"Well it's a good job you're not the one dating him, isn't it? Have you seen him or not?"

"Nope."

"Thanks. Now move."

Bill moved out of the way and Blair left the room, about to head into the kitchen when she caught Alice walking down the stairs out the corner of her eye, dragging Toby behind her.

"Blair, I can explain-"

"There is one person I hate in this world Toby, one person, who you can very easily avoid. I like everyone else, everyone else is nice, everyone else didn't fucking drug me. Yet here you are, at Bill Kaulitz's party instead of at dinner with your girlfriend."

"Baby, listen-"

"I have nothing to listen to. I'll see you on Monday."

Blair walked out, followed by Alice, who made sure to punch Toby in the arm before leaving.

"Where'd you find him?" Blair asked.

"In one of the bedrooms. Don't worry, he was just sat with a few of his guy friends, smoking weed."

"I told him to quit that."

"You tell him a lot of things, he never listens to you." The two girls got into Alice's car. "It's Friday, you wanna stay over at my place?"

"Sounds nice."

PREVIOUS CHAPTER HERE

NEXT CHAPTER HERE

#bill kaulitz #tokio hotel #band #singer #enemies to lovers #love #romance #fluff #smut #angst #wattpad #fanfic #fanfiction #chapter one

[daedreamingghosts]

Why'd it have to be him?

Pre-Marble Hornets :) Song: Him - James Marriott. Notes: Fem! Reader. Y/N = Your/Name. Y/F/S = Your/Favourite/Show. Word Count: 1,215 A/N: First-ever song fic. ♡ Hope you enjoy it! Have a good day/night lovely's ♡

masterlist

Why'd it have to be him?

I'd say you let me down

But he's been here before

And come back around

The sounds of a tv commercial bounced off the walls of the apartment living room. It wasn't unusual for the three friends to be up so late even if they had classes the next day. Tim, Brian, and Y/n all sat around on the couch, takeout napkins and leftovers on the coffee table in front of them.

Brian had started to tell Y/n an overexaggerated story of his and Tim's class earlier that day, how the substitute teacher was nothing but a grumpy old man who made the class that much slower. During said class, while the grumpy substitute was busy Tim accidentally knocked his coffee cup over, which spilled all over his paperwork. In Tim's defense, the cup was on the edge of the table right next to his own seat, Brian thought it was hilarious. Yet somehow Brian was able to charm both Tim and his own way out of detention and even got out of a long lecture from the man.

Will he take you to the same place?

One more hardback in your bookcase

You've got that look in your eyes

I'm blind

Tim decided he'd heard enough of the story, going out to the balcony for a smoke. Lighting his cigarette, leaning on the balcony railing looking out on the streets below. Deep down he knew it wasn't the story he couldn't stand listening to. It was who was telling the story and the reactions he was getting from her.

He fought with himself. He knew he could never truly hate Brian. He was his first-ever friend. He was the first one who actually believed in him. The only one who made him feel normal. But she was his first-ever crush. First unrequited love. His only other friend.

Tim threw the end of the cigarette down, falling on the pavement below. Pulling the sliding door open and appearing in the living room once more.

Have you ever seen

Ever seen a guy with moves like that?

Makes me wonder how I've been so bad

My head turns when the lights

Go dim

The sight in front of him made his previous argument futile. The commercials ended, and Y/f/s played once again. Y/n focused on the tv drowning in a blanket that was wrapped around both her and Brian. Y/n's back against Brian's chest, his arm around her. Sour-lipped and bitter he stomped into the kitchen grabbing a glass of whatever was closed in the fridge.

"C'mon Tim, you're gonna miss the best part of the show" Brian's voice echoed in Tim's head. Why'd Brian have to be so... Brian. Tim sighed as he came back into the room, sitting on the side of the L-shaped couch. Twisting himself around so he could fake interest in the tv. His head reeled.

Reeling into his thoughts once more he thought of something he learned in class he thought y/n would like. He turned to look over. Y/n was asleep, face smooshed against Brian's collar. Brian was too focused on her sleeping form to notice the range of emotions on his friend's face. Brian softly smiled to himself as he pulled the fallen blanket back over her shoulders. Turning back to the tv the pair of boys sat in silence.

Take my mind for a spin

You don't believe in that shit anyway

How long has it been

Since I came down?

Gave up on New Year's Day

He remembered the party Brian had forced him to go to. Honestly, the only reason he truly went was that he'd overheard you excitingly ranting about it to brian, how you'd wanted them to be there. The New Year's party didn't seem too long ago until he checked his phone... May 11th. Maybe it was a while ago.

It seemed that party was the only chance he had and he fumbled it. Too nervous. Too shy. Too broken.

Walking through the tree-filled woods, Tim and Brian finally found the so-called party. It was more a large gathering of college kids around a bonfire than a party. Then her voice carried through the chaos of all the others, inviting the two over to the spot she'd saved for them.

After a while of being introduced to her friends and her friends friends, they all began talking in their groups around the place. A few kids from another college found a lake a few minutes away from the main spot, taking a couple other kids whose laughter slowly drowned out as they got further away.

Someone had set up a foldable table behind the seats in front of the fire. Brian got up deciding to get a drink for the three of them. His figure wove in out around other kids their age, slowly disappearing from view in the crowd.

Tim had decided that it was now or never. How true that would turn out to be. Her name fell from his lips, sounding just as beautiful as she looks. She turns her full attention on him. She looks over at him, eyes full of sincerity, her smile wide. He fumbles with his words. Cursing at himself, since when did he ever stutter like that? Her smile faltered, face slightly scrunched in worry. He remembers her gentle voice asking if he was alright. He remembers her soft hands grasping his in comfort, his name falling from her lips. He remembers thinking his name had never sounded so sweet.

Conceal that smile on your face

I've only packed a suitcase

Leave the future defined

If you don't mind

He also remembers that the soft moment was cut short. Brian came back with three drinks in his hand. Passing one over to Y/n, his hands became colder her hands left his. Grasping the drink, passing one to him.

Brian sat beside the two, sitting closest to the flames of the bonfire. Y/n looked down at her drink. Head snapping towards Brian, her wide smile back again. Her eyes filled with glee. Tim noticed she was trying to hide how big her smile was. Her cheerful voice questioned Brian about the drink in her hand. Brian had remembered her special cocktail of sodas. Brian had remembered but so had Tim...

Was it when you looked at him?

Was it because he thought he could be

Much more than I've ever been?

Was it because he wasn't me?

Soft snores pulled him back from his memory. Tim turned. Brian's head rested on top of hers. Sound asleep cuddled into each other. Tim often wondered if he wasn't so caught up in his own head, he could of be the one bringing you the weird cocktail drink, he could have been the one holding you close. He could have been the one.

Standing up he reached down for the remote, turning the tv off. He picked up the messy half on the floor blanket, placing it on top of the pair. He flicked the lamp closet to the couch off and opened the sliding door again. Lighting his cigarette, and sitting down on the old wooden chair while he watched the cars pass by.

Why'd it have to be

Why'd it have to be

Why'd it have to be him?

#i hope this is okay ! #marble hornets #marble hornets x reader #tim wright x reader #tim wright #brian thomas #brian thomas x reader

[ectonurites]

sad rambling don't mind me

The passage of time just doesn’t feel real, man. Alaska would have turned 24 today. The last time I can distinctly remember seeing her alive she was newly 15.

It’s just this weird thing of like, yeah, I don’t think about it all the time anymore, not the way I did when it was really recent, but little things do still remind me of her. I can’t believe how close it’s getting to a decade since she's been gone. 

It came up when Emme and I were talking about her a few weeks ago, but at the time she felt so grown up to us. I was a year older than her, but back then she managed to feel so mature regardless. She would nerd out with us (The last time we actually hung out was at the con the college in our town used to hold), but she also did all these grown-up things with people we didn't know—she'd tell us stories about it all though, she just seemed so cool. But god, she was a kid. A kid! Just a kid. She was 15. She was a kid. We all were kids.

So much of high school is honestly just a blur when I think back to it now, but things related to this are so distinct it's kinda scary.

Like, it’s been nearly 9 years! But I can still remember the exact seat in Jenny’s 1st period mechanical physics class I was sitting in when that first announcement about her attempt and coma went out over the loud speaker, it didn’t use her name or anything but just alerted everyone at the school that this had happened to a student. I already knew, I'd known for a few days, and I knew the announcement was probably going to happen that day, so it wasn’t a surprise. Our other friend got to stay home, but I had too many absences so my mom wouldn’t let me. I was in a class of mostly upperclassmen (only three of us were in my grade, nobody in Alaska's), and no one else in the room knew her or at least seemed to know this was about her, it was just whispers and speculation and I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I broke down in tears in front of my math teacher the following period when he asked me about the homework I hadn't done and in hindsight it was almost kinda funny, because he just did not know what to do. 

I remember sitting at Lily's house on the couch with her and Emme—having a sleepover to work on cosplay because that's what we did back then—when Lily's mom came home in the middle of the night and we knew something was wrong. And we got told the news that she'd passed a few hours earlier.

I remember on the first birthday after she passed, Emme and I went to the park across the street from the high school to let go of balloons. It had snowed recently, but we wanted to be in the center of the park, because otherwise they'd get stuck in the trees, so we trekked our way out there and laid on our jackets in the freezing cold and laughed and talked and cried.

I don’t know. I don’t know where I'm going with any of this, or what I’m trying to say. It's just like, time is supposed to make these things feel easier, and in a way I guess it does, but my brain just gets so focused on dates and anniversaries so every year when this day and the day she died roll around I still get hit with so much all at once.

(the anniversary of the day she died was particularly rough this past year because it was the same day Stranger Things Vol. 2 dropped and I went to a watch party thinking 'oh cool it'll be fun to watch this thing I like with my friends as a distraction' and promptly got punched in the fucking gut by what happened with Max, the hospital scene towards the end sent me spiraling for hours)

Anyways.

Happy Birthday, Alaska. I met you on a Tuesday afternoon in late August at the park I roller skate at now, two days after me and my mom finally called the cops on my dad and everything in my life changed. You were the first new friend I made after all that. I didn't get to know you for a long time, but you’re still on my mind even after all these years. I miss you. Happy Birthday. 

#tw for irl death

[calestialmusings]

The shit show that is changing your first & last name

Back when I was in my PhD program, before I quit (unrelated: I do love being a 4.0 drop out tho), I had a friend we’ll call G. G was real cool and honestly the level of progressive that I was hoping to get to but couldn’t quite reach then.

 Anyways, while we were in class one day it came out that G had changed their name years ago. I knew very little about the world, nor what “clocking” met and how that was what I had been doing. He didn’t look Trans or whatever [obviously what I thought Trans looked like in my early 20s] so I just thought he changed his name because he wanted to. Because he was cool and wanted to be his own person. I tried to pry a bit but could quickly tell that he was becoming uncomfortable and that i was doing that to him, so I dropped it. I figured he was just being mysterious and interesting and I was envious that him and his partner decided to do something so “progressive.” Not to mention, people change their last names all the time so first names must have been just as easy. 

Fun fact #1: First name changes are not as easy as last name changes and changing your first name is confuses a looooooot of people and breaks so many fucking systems. 

In a system that is heavily designed to have women be property of men and join their husband’s identities (The number of times I was called Mrs. Partner first & last name oof), society is really well adjusted to handling those changes in a quick and simple way. When I got married and changed my last name it wasn’t even a thing. I put it on my marriage license, went to the SS office to get a new card, new license without much questions or required paperwork. If something had the wrong last name, it was pretty chill. 

This gave me a super unrealistic idea of what a “full name change” would be like. The first thing that happens is that people don’t actually hear what you have to say. If you give them your name, or say that your name changed most people will automatically just think “last name.” Meaning they will just kind of do a hybrid of your birth first name and your last name. Even if they heard what your name was when you first talked. They just kinda throw that name out the window. It’s fucking stupid but becomes a huge issue when its things like medical records or medicine. Especially if your shit is controlled. 

Buying a house was also a huge thing. My partner and I bought a house about 8 months after we changed our names and that was a whole ass thing. The mortgage companies loved our wonderful credit attached to our previous names but our new names had no credit 🙃 Though everyone knew we were the same people, their systems were ONLY designed to handle a new last name. So we were denied a loan until we could get the name change worked out with the credit bureaus. 

Fun fact #2: the credit bureaus honestly don’t seem to do shit lmao. One of which denied our requests for changing our name three times because there wasn’t any documentation provided, that note was attached to the documentation that we provided. 

Getting our mortgage became the carrousel of hell and it only ended when I forced them to submit the request to the ACTUAL people who approve/deny loans (can’t remember their title rn). They happily accepted our request and just required everything be done in our previous names which sucked but was a win-win for both parties. 

It’s a frustrating situation though and only worked out for us because we were financially privileged. Would they have agreed to approve this mortgage if we didn’t have such good credit, or if my partner wasn’t a tech worker, or if we didn’t live in a place where houses were so expensive? No, they probably wouldn’t have. If I hadn’t worked at credit union for 6 years, didn’t know how mortgages worked, and didn’t have a parent who had been a CEO of a credit union things would have not worked out well in my favor just because I had the audacity to change the birth name I had been given. 

Fun Fact #3: Organizations that you are associated with will get real nosy about why you changed your name. They will require legal paperwork showing the name change happened but also want you to walk them through why. 

I’m very open about my gender and sexuality but it rubs me the wrong way when questions seem invasive and irrelevant. You are legally required to provide paperwork showing your name is changed. To get that legal paperwork you must talk to the courts about why you want to get your name changed and the courts decide whether or not to grant you with the name change. So for an organization to require that paperwork AND still have a client/customer discuss their name change is really invasive. Knowing why I changed my name will not impact the fact that my name was changed and that you have the document showing that. Having that information on record is just unnecessary information that can open up your client/customer to discrimination- and that is why one of those fucking places has my “reason for name change” as “because.” The customer representative then laughed and said “just because?” and I was like “yep.”  

#name change #queer #buying a house

[appreciatingtokrev]

hello, i am happy that you're back and feeling better! ^^

er, i am a bit disappointed but since time had passed, i have realised it was the right move. that is sad but if both parties naturally drift apart, there is always a chance for it to rekindle later on even if it is years on in the future. but moving on does tend to be the less messer route despite it being hard.

i did that too for HSR, all players are probably guilty of that lol. i believe most fans prefer GI over HSR and there is a lot more GI contents on here. i've never played HI so i don't know the fight mechanics 😭

that sound like such a long system ;-; on my end, you could complete a five year degree (like medicine) and be finish before 24/25 or do a three years degree and a master on top before 23/24. at least you still have time to figure things out.

that is true and a part of koko probably died after the fire incident, he probably just needed mikey's approval to join though.

tbh, i just realised his colour palette (outfit/appearance) is really nice too and does contrast xiao's one. maybe, browse online for inspiration? or go to the hair salon and ask the staff? i did that for dying my hair, they said i need to bleach it 4 times where i went lmao.

but i've heard the anime/manga merchandise is pretty cheap in Japan? that is a nice start to your collection and i'm sure the tokrev dolls will be a nice finishing touch when you feel motivated enough. but don't force yourself. i think if she was a kpop fan, i would found it less shocking because they are something else lol. that is a sensible idea and others may mistake it for a bell's bike? if it jingles that loudly and you're walking behind them. i hope you are ready then, styling wigs does seem to be a craft of art in making.

have you found your birthday twin yet? or am i still the closest one? and i actually gave up on makima. the fanart is something else but you can't help but feel intrigued like you said. i dislike her for the same reason. that's great! have you tried taking it to a tailor and get the sleeves shortened? i did it for a blazer and it worked.

ah i’m glad, me too! :) <3

i very much understand. it hurts, but sometimes the right thing to do just isn’t what initially makes you the happiest,, and it’s still for the best.

hm, true. maybe one day lol. rn we see each other maybe twice a year, and go visit a museum together. it’s nice, but certainly not how i pictured my life a few years ago haha. tho i’m content with our relationship the way it is, i think.

understandable understandable lol. i think my pref for genshin does stem from me having played it for longest by far + it being the game that got me into gaming, which both ends in an obvious bias. but hsr has been v fun so far as well! honkai impact fight mechanics are more similar to genshin than to hsr, but the controls for the whole game don’t involve the mouse, only the a, s, d, w, i, j, k, and l keys (if i remember the keys correctly- the point is you only need a keyboard to play) lol. makes it easier to play it in class.....

okay tbh i did repeat/got pushed back more than once 😭 most people here probably are finished with a five years degree at 24/25 too, but a bunch each year will be one/two years older bc they had to repeat. and i’m gonna be one of those lol. but yeah, i’m glad i’ve still got time to decide on what to study bc there’s too many things i’d like to do... omg i used to have a classmate who’s a kpop fan, and she pretty much made her locker at school into a kpop shrine plastered with photos and filled with merch lol. she also was the one to introduce me to kpop funnily enough.

true. i’ll figure out how to make it make no sound before wearing it in public, then i’ll be fine. bc i do think the earring looks funky even when silent hehe.

i have a (bad?) habit of thinking i can do anything i want to, so... wig styling can’t be that hard, now can it..... and there’s a first time to everything anyway.

no birthday twin for me, you’re still the closest. if i ever do find one, i’ll make sure to tell you dw lol.

no, i haven’t been to a tailor yet, but i might try that once! i just hope it wouldn’t be too expensive afhjfdj

#finally omg #so sorry it took me so long to reply #but look! i did it!! :) #☆—`ask #anon: z

[1valentine19]

May 22nd, 2023

Monday Evening

Today I went to go get coffee with a friend I’ve known since I was thirteen but haven’t seen since we moved our tassels over to the left and boarded airplanes going in different directions, maybe even different worlds, about a year ago. It’s the strangest thing about moving out; slowly realizing which relationships will last the distance and circumstance, and which relationships you’re actually not willing to lose, as mundane as they seemed to 17-year-old you. To be fair, there was nothing much mundane about this friendship, one built primarily on our shared dedication to our niche and decidedly “alternative” interests and one that was only strengthened after we were traumatized by the same guy during our senior year of high school, although in very different ways. 

This friend of mine is a Cool Girl. She goes to art school in Brooklyn now and she smokes cigarettes with her professors and has friends who DJ speakeasies. Her clothes fit her perfectly, even when they’re not supposed to and everything about her seems inevitable in a sort of resigned way. If you had asked 14-year-old me what I thought Cool Girl would be doing in four years, I probably would’ve thought of her smoking in an 80k-a-year dorm while painting a portrait of the guy that supplied her with an abundance of cheap vodka and pills. And I would’ve been right too. 

Admittedly, there was a part of me that was surprised, and maybe a little validated, when she reached out to me to meet. I am Not as cool as Cool Girl, but her affection made up for some of it, I suppose. I wasn’t cool, but someone who was, liked to hang out with me. That had to count for something, right? 

 When I pulled up to her house in my mom’s black honda civic, she walked out with a choppy orange haircut and a perfectly imperfect outfit and somehow even cooler than she’d already been before, now armed with stories of a life outside of the suffocating circumstances of the suburbs. She smiled and opened her arms wide and for a second we were 17 again, driving down to Austin on Senior Skip Day to go to some concert while our classmates got heat stroke at Six Flags. 

The plan was to get coffee the way adults do but I guess I didn’t give myself enough credit for becoming looser in college myself (looser, in comparison to high school me is not saying much). When I off-handedly mentioned my weekly routine of taking edibles only to listen to “Plainsong” by The Cure for three hours straight, Cool Girl raised her eyebrow, pulled out a blunt, and we ended up getting high and walking to Walmart instead.

There, in between the toy and technology aisles, Cool Girl told me all about the bodies that had kept her company through the move to the city and warm through her first East Coast winter. She told me about girlfriends who had boyfriends but kissed her like they didn’t and about all the beds across the different boroughs she found herself sleeping in. Or not sleeping in. Affection comes easy for Cool Girl. She has so much love to give, to everyone and anyone who she sees fit for it. She gave it to me, all those years ago in freshman year English class, when she was the first person to ever compliment me on something other than my brains, pointing out that she, “like loved, my hair.”

Affection does not come so easily to me. My longing to be loved is a humiliating ordeal, the depth of my desire vast and expansive. Sometimes when I lay in my bed at night I can hear the ache echo through the chasm in my chest. 

I wonder what it’s like to love and to be loved. I turn to look at Cool Girl, who knows. Her hair is whipping about and her arms are waving while she talks. She’s going on about some hipster Brooklyn threesome while Radiohead is blasting from my phone next to us and I’m thinking about how I cried in the bathroom of a frat house when a boy from high school never made it to the Halloween party he invited me to. I don’t even think I ever liked him, either. I think I just liked the idea that he might have liked me. 

#spilled thoughts #diary writing

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #167

How did it feel outside today? It's hot and EXTREMELY humid. There's been a chance of rain on-and-off all day.

Are there any animals in the room with you? Yeah, Roman is actually snoozing on the floor, to my right.

How did you spend yesterday afternoon? Girt and I played some of Elden Ring.

Are any of your siblings taller than you? Yeah, I think the only two shorter than me are Nicole and Misty? I know Nicole is very close, though.

Name a song that reminds you of a past relationship: "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides.

When did you last have a nightmare? A few days ago. My fucking nightmares/terrors have RANDOMLY resumed again, for absolutely no reason I can identify. They're happening most times I sleep, even during much shorter naps again...

What's the goriest thing you've ever seen? A large rat cleaved in half (it was frozen/thawed, not alive when it happened just to clarify). I was volunteering at a raptor rehab center that day and fed the rat to some vultures. The interior gore was pretty gross, it was cut in half horizontally through the abdomen and also warm and it just made it grosser, haha.

Have you or do you attend pep rallies regularly? No, even in school I was the one student the teachers let stay behind in class to read or something; even those that didn't know me THAT well, they knew pep rallies really, really stressed me out and were just a totally unpleasant, unenjoyable experience for me. They were way too fucking loud and I found it really anxiety-inducing when everyone would like rapidly stomp on the bleachers for whatever dumb fucking reason people did that.

Have you ever seen a building on fire in real life? Yes, a house in my childhood neighborhood completely burned to the ground one evening, it was very scary to watch from across the street. I don't think they've rebuilt the house since, last I saw it was just the brick foundation.

Have you kissed anyone and their first name started with an F, D, or L? A "D," yes.

Have you ever been in therapy for anything? I've been in therapy consistently since the 6th grade for mental illnesses.

Do you think clowns are creepy? They don't personally creep me out, no.

If you had to write an essay about a popular song... what would that song be? Probably "Zombie" by The Cranberries, ig. It's an incredible social commentary that is very profound and cleverly written imo.

When did you last have some fruit? I had a big strawberry last night.

What's something you have to look forward to? My niece has her birthday party this weekend.

Is there any part of your sexual/romantic history that you have not told your current significant other about or that you will not tell future partners about? There's only one thing he doesn't know, but not because I'm actively being secretive about it; if it was ever relevant to mention, I would without any awkwardness.

Have you ever developed feelings for someone whose sexual orientation was incompatible with yours? Yup.

How many relationships have you been in that actually got sexual? Three-ish. Sara and I never went all that far, but I'd be lying if I claimed we never did anything that wasn't clearly sexual.

Who performs the most random acts of kindness out of everyone you know? Mom, easily.

Are any of your pets “overweight”? No.

Who’s the most romantic person you ever went out with? Jason.

Last person to tell you that you smell good? Girt.

Last person you told that they smell good? Also Girt.

What shows do you watch? None habitually right now; Girt and I haven't really settled on a new series since finishing Dark. We did watch the first episode of a Danish Netflix show called The Rain yesterday, and we're both interested enough to watch the next, but I'm not totally sold on it yet, I feel like a potential entire series' worth of plot has happened in the PILOT episode, it was so fucking quick so I have no idea what more it has to offer. Girt's not 100% into it yet either, but cliffhanger episode ending tho.

Is there anything you are craving right now? Little Caesar's cheesy bread like you wouldn't fucking believe lmao, my period is absolutely coming judging by my appetite and cravings.

Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you laughed with them? Probably more times than I've laughed with absolutely anybody.

What are five Halloween costumes that you’d like to wear in the future? My ULTIMATE dream is a female Pyramid Head, and I'm also super into the ideas of a handmaid from The Handmaid's Tale, a Bloody Mary-inspired look that's gonna be a play on my middle name being Marie (Bloody Marie, get it, fucking hilarious right), female iteration of the stereotypical devil, and Morticia from The Addams Family.

Who did you have your first kiss with? Do you remember what color his/her eyes were? Jason's eyes were brown.

Whose Facebook timeline did you post on most recently? Pretty sure Mazzy's, for their birthday.

Have you ever had a restaurant dish that was made with bugs? If not, would you even want to try one? No, but I would if it was a reputable location. People don't wanna accept it, but bugs as part of the human diet is our future, and I've heard SO frequently that they're not even as bad as society wants them to be.

Which edible flowers have you tasted? I've tasted honeysuckle honey before, idk if the flowers themselves are edible. I don't think I've tried anything else.

Who was the last non-relative woman you spoke to in person? Girt's mother Shelia.

What was the last video you added to your favorites on YouTube? I just checked and it was the piano version of "Mein Herz brennt" by Rammstein, the video where Till still sings along though.

Who was the last person that apologized to you? Pretty sure Girt, a few days ago he raised his voice to his nephew to close the front door because Charlie was about to go out, and even though he didn't need to (it wasn't really a yell), he apologized to me anyway because he knows men raising their voices scares me. Even though he didn't need to like I said, I still appreciated him being aware that it might have affected me.

What comes to mind when you think of pregnancy? I have an immediate "ew" reaction/just a general gross feeling, how it all works is so disgusting to me. I want NOTHING else living in me other than myself and mandatory beneficial bacteria. I know that if I ever do decide to have a kid, pregnancy is going to be extremely fucking difficult on me mentally.

Do you prefer bar or liquid soap? Liquid for sure, I despise bar soap.

Do any of your family members have an upcoming birthday? My older sister and then her daughter literally two days later.

What is your favorite flavor of Jolly Ranchers? Either watermelon or strawberry, I'd need to taste them again.

Is your favorite animal endangered? Thankfully not, I think I would be in a constant anxiety attack if meerkats were even SLIGHTLY endangered, haha.

Are you better at writing fiction or non-fiction? Fiction, but I think I'm good at writing either.

Have you ever dated someone one grade/year above or below you? Jason was two years above me.

What is the middle name of the last person you texted? Marie.

Have you ever come close to drowning? No.

So… remember Girl Scout cookies? Any favorites you had/have? My favorites were peanut butter patties/Tagalongs, Adventurefuls, and thin mints.

Why did you ignore the last person you ignored? It was more stupid scam messages on deviantART about buying some photos as NFTs; I get them a lot and they're all very clearly fake, always VERY similarly written or even matching word-for-word, and besides I wouldn't allow my art to be made into NFTs anyway.

Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? I think an Eevee!

Do you like chocolate milk? Oh yes, for sure.

What is something you hate, but wish you loved? Hot weather; especially as someone who wants to be a nature photographer and lives in a pretty hot state, being able to handle warmer temperatures would be extremely convenient for me.

What’s the cutest thing your S/O does, but denies it’s cute in any way? His laughs, especially when he's tickled. I torture him with it lmao

Who have you hugged in the past month? Girt, Aubree, Ryder, Emerson, both Ashleys in my life, Girt's Ashley's boyfriend Erich, Shelia, Girt's maternal grandmother, and maybe my mom and Girt's nephew, I can't quite recall.

Last bad news you heard? My sister Ashley has some health stuff going on that might put her in the hospital if it's not fixed soon.

Have you ever dined alone at a restaurant? No.

Have you seen a baby being born in real life? No, I never want to. Well I've seen cats give birth, but I've never seen a human baby be born.

Do any of your exes know each other? Jason and Juan knew each other/Juan had beef with him over a girl, Jason and Girt (he was my ex once) have met, Girt knew Juan (I don't think well though, more a "knew of" situation), Sara and Girt met once, and it's definitely possible Tyler knew Jason or Juan, but idk that for sure.

What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously? Flat earthers, like I just can't w/ y'all

Have you ever changed in front of the last person you kissed? I suppose I might've changed shirts in front of him at some point, but I actually don't think I have. I'd do it if I really had to, but I generally go into the bathroom because of my self-image. Doesn't matter to me what he's already seen, I don't want him to if I can help it.

Do you have any goats? No, but I think they're super cute. There was a period of time where my little sister "owned" a show goat, maybe two one after the other, but the goat stayed on her best friend's property since they had the proper supplies to provide for goats. I'm pretty sure she named one Oreo.

Do you hang out with your sibling’s friends? No.

Have you experienced any severe side effects of medications? Yes. One affected my mood horrifically, like I became a demon child, I had one for a short while that pretty regularly caused vomiting, and the original form of Wellbutrin I was on caused severe hypomania in me, which is apparently a very rare side effect; I could find very few documentations of it, but it was DEFINITELY the Wellbutrin. This isn't a severe side effect in and of itself, however the effect has absolutely stacked to a very severe degree: dry mouth. A lot of psych meds cause it, and because I'm on a large number, my mouth is usually insanely dry, like you would not believe how uncomfortable it becomes at a certain severity.

On Facebook, do you have people listed as your siblings who aren’t really your siblings? I did when I was younger, but haven't for a very long time.

Have you lost any close family members to cancer? Both my grandmothers died by cancer, but I wasn't close to either of them; I actually very much disliked my mom's mom. I think Dad's dad mighta also died of cancer, but I can't quite remember. I can barely remember him at all, just like his mom, sadly.

Do you know anyone who doesn’t have a middle name? Yeah, my boyfriend doesn't have one, but I'm assuming it's because he's a junior; his sister has a middle name, so it's not a case of their parents just not doing middle names.

How often do you check your emails? I've gotten into the habit of doing it/cleaning it out daily. I have job alerts set up for things photography-related so I try to stay on top of new positions opening up in my area.

Would you want your kids to have your hair color? I don't care at all about this.

Have you ever had a big YouTuber reply to a comment you left on their video? Not reply for truly big ones, but I've gotten a few hearts on replies from bigger folks.

Have you ever given a lap dance? No, I'd be waaay too awkward for that shit.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions

[iwadori]

When they neglect you for another girl Part 5 (Kuroo)

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five

Word count: 1.3K

Genre: angst, fluff

masterlist

You and Kuroo have been dating all throughout highschool and now your in you first year of university

It’s a bit harder to see each other because of your conflicting class schedules

But when you did see eachother kuroo has been acting a big suspicious, ‘secretly’ glancing at his phone or always needing to head out early.

And you were going to get to the bottom of this.

You were just finished with your class, and you had plans to meet your boyfriend at the library so he could tutor you for your chem test that you on Tuesday. On your way over there, you got boba for both of you and some study snacks to get you through the session.

You arrived their first, which you didn’t really mind as Kuroo was usually a bit late to your study sessions (especially recently with his dodgy behaviour.) You decided to go over your recent class notes as you were waiting, which was pretty useless as you didn’t understand anything.  

You actually met Kuroo bonding over chemistry, since it definitely wasn’t your best subject so in your first year your chem teacher suggested getting a tutor and recommend Kuroo Testuro the self proclaimed best ‘chemist’ in the school.

It’s been half an hour and Kuroo hadn’t shown up, you were about to call him until you saw a quite disheveled looking Kuroo who is heaving out of breath.

“Tetsu, what happened to you?” you exclaim with amusement.

“Umm I kind of got in a fight?” he said questioning himself “well not really a fight but a disagreement.”

“A fight? With who?” you said a bit too loudly, as the librarian gave you an obnoxious ‘shusshhhh’ glaring at you.

“It doesn’t matter babe.” he said nonchalantly “I see you have your electrolysis work out, why don’t we get started.”

“But what abo-”

“So what is positive, the anode or the cathode?” he asked distracting you from asking him about what happened.

You spent two hours going over all the topics that were going to come up on your exam, and you can’t lie and say Kuroo didn’t help you. However, you weren’t as focused as you were wondering what happened to him.

After your study session, you both went to your dorms. Sadly, you couldn’t share a room since your University didn’t allow co-ed dorms (and maybe if you did live together, you’d be able to understand his odd behaviour.)

Even though he was still in highschool, every Friday afterschool you and Kenma made sure to spend atleast an hour playing a game online together, and today it was minecraft.

“Kenma help, theres a creeper outside my door!” you screech frantically running around on game.

“One second Y/N” he murrmed

“Kenma, do you know what’s going on with Kuroo.” you inquire.

“What do you mean, isn’t he being his loud cat-like self?” he responded

“Well yeah of course, but recently he’s been on his phone ALOT, and always leaving our dates early or showing up late and stuff so I don’t know I thought maybe you’d know something.”

“Oh maybe it’s just that he’s been pretty busy with Hana right now.” he said nochalantly

“Who’s Hana?” you say, your eyes squinting.

“Oh you don’t know Hana,” he said a bit surprised “Ooops Kuroo’s going to be so mad at me.”

“Mad at you, what do you mean mad at you?”  

“Um, I got to go by Y/N!” he said quickly

“But Ken-” the sound of him leaving the party cut you off, and now you were in more of a confused slump then you were before. What is Kuroo hiding? And who the hell is Hana?

Since you couldn’t go over to Kuroo’s dorm right now because of your universities weird curfew times, you decided the only thing you can do right now is call him. After a few rings he finally answered and you could hear his background was really loud.

“Um, Y/N this isn’t really the best time right now – ow shit.” he said frantically.

“Kuroo, what's going on it sounds like you’re at a rave. Wait are you at a rave?”  

“No I'm not at a rave I'm just – Hana stop doing that.” he said trying to whisper the last bit.

“Who’s Hana, Kenma mentioned her on PlayStation tonight but he didn’t explain.”

“Kenma did what? God – Ouch “there was ruffling in the background before Kuroo finally “Sorry Y/N I got to go..”

He hangs up before you could respond. What is wrong with these boys today?  

It was your study week break, so you don’t really go into school to do classes you just have to prepare for studying. Which was great for you, since you could actually get revision done without being distracted and you can avoid Kuroo whilst thinking about what happened a few days ago.

Kuroo didn’t message you anyways, which kind of sucked, since these chemistry notes aren’t going to learn themselves. You went over each of your topics that you need to learn and you’d say you were pretty much ready for your exams. So for the rest of the week, you didn’t have much to do. Kenma was pretty busy with volleyball and his high school life and your boyfriend was still being odd and you didn’t have any real close friends at Uni since you’re only a first year and Kenma and Kuroo were mainly all you needed anyways.

You chose to go on a date, by yourself, to your favourite bookstore café to have some ‘self care’ time. On the way their you heard a familiar voice shouting down the street, looking in that direction you saw your boyfriend yelling “HANA!” “HANA!” repeadetly.  

Going over to him you said, “Kuroo, are you okay?”

“Umm hey Y/N...” he said awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck “to what do I owe this pleasure?”

“The pleasure of being my boyfriend properly again,” you said smartly.

“Oh Y/N shit, im sorry about that” he apologised “I’ve just been really busy right now with Ha-”

“Hana.” you say rolling your eyes “Who is she?”

“I can’t really say Y/N, it was meant to a be a surprise.”

“A surprise for who?” you say  

“Well fo-”

Before you can finish you say a loud ‘HISSS!’ Come from near your feet. “Hana! Thank god!” Kuroo said picking her up, but then dropping her again when she did a even louder HISSS at him. “Umm I really need to work on that..”

“So this is Hana.” you say a bit stunned “She’s a cat.”

“Indeed she is.” he said “ surprise...”

“You got me a cat?” you said still very stunned

“Indeed I did.”

“A feral cat?”  

“Feral!” he said shocked “What do you mean feral!”

“Tetsu! She’s obviously feral!” you say reprimanded him.

“No she’s not! Look” he tried to pet her again and she nearly bit him and then sped off “Okay...maybe she is.”

Kuroo explained that he saw this cat one time outside of his dorm building and wanted to adopt her and give her to you as a gift. He’s been spending his time trying to ‘train her’ but every time it would result in Kuroo getting scratched up or him having to try and chase her around the city. You did appreciate the sentiment, however you reminded Kuroo that if he would’ve told you, you could’ve easily shown him that she was feral or if he listened to Kenma, then Kenma would’ve told him (which he did) that she was feral.

Kuroo did feel bad that his big plan didn’t work and he ended up looking like an idiot, not knowing the difference between a stray and feral cat. But you took him to a cat café as a little ‘pick me up,’ and promised him that for his birthday you’ll adopt a real cat for him.  

An: this is basically a shit post but who cares 😃 Also am I the only that thinks that hana being a feral cat in the end is funny? Or is my humour that dry😭

#haikyuu x reader comfort #haikyu angst #haikyuu fluff #haikyu x reader #haikyu scenarios #haikyu headcanons #haikyu #kuroo testuro #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo fluff #kuroo angst #signedwithane😌