SPACER! for S/H scars ( healed ), Blood and Serious themes? kinda of
If info is needed, one image has Simon pointing a gun at himself ( that'll be under the keep reading part <3 )
You've been warned
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It not super bad ( the one under this-) but its just for safety? :>
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I read that fabulous centennial husbands big bang story about Hob marking the years between his meetings with his stranger by tying knots in a piece of string and it gave me a though -- instead of knots in string Hob cuts hash marks into his skin to count the years btw meeting with his stranger. Scarification to mark the time until he gets to see his stranger again.
Yes, Hob is fantasticly immortal and wounds don't stay, but Hob has found if he makes the mark or intends for the mark to stay, then it does. So he starts marking himself to count his hundred years:
1489 - left arm;
1589 - right arm;
1689 - left foot to knee;
1789 - right foot to knee;
1889 - left knee to upper thigh/groin;
1989 - right knee to upper thigh/groin; and
2089 - starting up his left side (groin to armpit)
His marks are the only thing he's sure will stay. He's developed a ritual for it - he cuts with special knife specifically for that purpose; and as he travels the world he's found that if he gets his scars tattooed in the old school way - with sharp rock and ink, that stays too.
So that when Dream and Hob finally get together, Hob's body is a sensory feast for Dream - the braille of Hob's devotion.
Trigger Warning for the act of cutting the body - could be potentially triggering for self harm survivors.
So I'm going to freely admit that I know absolutely nothing about scarification, and I'm one of those annoying people who can genuinely pass out at the mere mention of blood or injuries. BUT I am fascinated by body modification and the impact it would have on an immortal body. So let's give this a go!
At first, the marks are not very pretty to look at. Hob doesn't know what he's doing. There's no real pattern or consistency to the marks. But as the decades, then the centuries pass, Hob becomes a proper artist. He makes intricate designs on his skin. Each mark becomes part of a bigger picture, which is growing across his body with every passing year. There are flowers and leaves, stars and shapes and waves. He generally covers up the art on his body - he has, after all, made himself extremely unique and identifiable. But despite the risk, he sometimes sits in the sun with his body on display. It's like a message to his stranger, wherever he is. That Hob is still patiently waiting.
And after more than a hundred years with no stimulus at all, when he finally comes back, Dream is obsessed with the texture of Hob’s body. He touches it constantly when they're together, like a reassurance that the world is no longer cold, smooth glass. It's warm flesh, indented with promises. It's proof that somebody thought of him and forgave him. It's love, really. Love that Hob is proud to wear on his skin for every day of his very, very long life.
He can't wait for Dream to be beside him, when they make the next mark together.
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tw for s/h mention, im asking a question abt it below cut
is it considered self-harm to punch yourself? or to scratch at your arms (sometimes to the point of bleeding or those little red scratches that dont go away for a few days)?
ive never cut, im incredibly scared of sharp objects since i accidentally sliced my finger on glass a few years ago.
but ive been told that it is and that it isnt
whenever i get really stressed and upset with myself ill punch myself as hard as i can, usually in the arms or sometimes in the head. usually i have lots of bruises on my upper arms, which is another reason i prefer hoodies so much because they fully cover the bruises that i hate trying to explain.
its not just if im mad at myself but usually thats the only time when im so genuinely upset i do that, but occasionally itll happen for othe reasons. when a kid in pit orchestra with me was being an asshole as per usual and a few of them wouldnt stop playing with my instruments i went to the percussion closet to grab the woodblock and just stood there hitting myself and about to cry from the fury and the pain, i was so upset. i was a bit dizzy when i came out from hitting my head but mostly my arms just hurt so bad that it took my mind off of being upset.
the scratching is whenever im stressed, angry, upset, scared, ect. basically any negative emotion causes me to do that to take my mind off of it.
is this considered self harm?? and how do i stop doing this please. ive tried punching pillows or stuffed animals but it doesnt do anything.
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clean for six months.
tomorrow starts a new streak.
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