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zepp-l1n · 7 months

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The Same

Pairing: Daniel Matthews x Fem!reader

summary: Daniel meets someone in the same boat as him at a "Jigsaw victim therapy group" session. fic type - hurt/comfort, post Saw 2, fluff?? warning - 2000s emo x 2000s emo, canon level Saw violence, both reader and Daniel have PTSD, mentions of past drug use, mentions of body scarring from the traps, self harm (??) word count - 1,779 a/n: hiiii! sorry my posting has been kinda off and on for the past few months, but I'm hoping now that school and my personal schedule is a little more chill, I'll be able to write and post more often. <3 (also, what's up with the lack of Daniel fics?)

Group therapy wasn't Daniel's idea. He knew he needed to talk about the things he had gone through and seen, which is why he had originally gone to one-on-one therapy, but when his therapist had suggested joining Bobby Dagen's group he had been very apprehensive. At first, Daniel had been very against the idea. He found Bobby very pretentious and overzealous, and the entire "Jigsaw victim therapy group" to be a scam for Bobby's fan's entertainment. For months his therapist and his mother brought up the group again and again, leading to Daniel finally deciding to go in the hopes of getting them to shut up about it.

Now, Daniel found himself in the room Bobby would rent out for each session. They were all sitting side by side in the formation of a circle, letting each person have a clear view of everyone else. Not one person in the room, other than bobby, looked elated to be there.

Daniel sat in his folded out seat, arms crossed and head turned downward. So far, the entire experience had been uncomfortable. Bobby had gone on one of his regularly scheduled "We should be grateful!" spiels, and multiple people had shared their sob-stories. For 30 minuets Daniel had to endure the same arguments and conversations over and over. He sat in silence, never once making himself known - choosing to sit and pick at his black, long-sleeved undershirt the entire time.

Daniel had been so focused on his own thoughts that when he finally glanced back up, he noticed all the eyes on him. "Daniel?" Bobby called out.

"Hmm?" his reply was short and uninterested.

"I asked if you would like to share your story with the others. Would you?" Bobby asked. The smile he gave Daniel as he spoke made him divert his eyes. Daniel shrugged, not knowing if he truly wanted to. "If you'd like to wait that's okay. Whenever you're ready, Daniel."

The other's diverted their attention to Luba afterwards, taking in her story. Daniel silently listened, just waiting for the session to be over. They continued this way, story after story, until the door swung open, creating a loud noise. In it's opening was a girl, presumably around Daniel's age from what he could see.

"Ah, (Y/N), nice of you to finally join us." Bobby sarcastically spoke.

The teen stepped into the room, waving at a man in the corner that Daniel hadn't noticed before, and continued towards the circle. The silver chain hanging from her belt loops lightly rattled against her black cargo-jeans as she walked his way. "Oh shut up, Bobby. Some of us have lives outside the whole Jigsaw shit." she scoffed, her eyeliner covered eyes glaring at the older man. The girl, (Y/N) as Daniel her Bobby call her, took a open seat a few chairs down from Daniel, giving him a tight-lipped smile and a wave of her ringed hand before turning towards the others.

"Now, now, (Y/N). There's no need for hostility here - we're all the same." Bobby cheerfully stated, causing the girl to roll her eyes. "Here, since you missed when everyone else did it, why don't you introduce yourself to out newest member. This is Daniel." his arm directed (Y/N)'s eyes to her fellow teen.

(Y/N)'s dark-red lips turned up into a forced smile before she spoke. "Hi, I'm (Y/N). I'm the girl who was found a week after a trap that wasn't even hers, half dead and tied to the mutilated corpse of her sister. Nice to meet you!" The smile dropped immediately after she finished her sentence.

"Sorry Daniel. Just ignore her. She's still a little apprehensive to be doing this." Daniel awkwardly nodded at Bobby's explanation. "Good, now why don't we continue..." Daniel couldn't focus on Bobby as he spoke - his attention was solely caught on (Y/N)'s appearance. On top of the jeans and chain, she also had a shirt similar to what he would usually wear. It was red and white, and he could tell it was showing some kind of band-logo, but he couldn't get a clear enough look to tell what band. Glancing down at his own white t-shirt, he caught similarities between the two, finally realizing who it was. "Wrath of the Gods." he whispered.

(Y/N)'s head lightly turned her head, seemingly asking him to repeat himself.

"Your shirt. It's 'Wrath of the Gods' - like mine." he lightly smiled. "You like them?"

She glances down, taking in her own shirt and then his. "Huh... Yeah, my sister, she uh, introduced me to their music a few years ago. This was her shirt actually; she gave me it when she got a new one before the trap."

"Sounds like she was pretty cool." Daniel muttered. By this point, (Y/N) had moved over a seat so they could talk without bothering any of the others.

She smiled before whispering back, "She was."

Now that she was closer, Daniel could see the scarring on her face, neck, arms, and hands. He couldn't help but wonder what she fully went through if that was the result of her trap. It also made him wonder if the same scarring would cascade down her legs and torso too. Did the scarring all look the same; how many were there; were some more gory than others? Hundreds of questions flew through his mind as he looked at her.

"How'd you get them?" Daniel didn't even register the fact that he had spoken.

"Huh?" (Y/N) whispered.

"Sorry, uh, your scars. If you don't mind me asking, how'd you get them? I mean, you don't have to tell me. Y'know, I don't want to cross any boundar-" Daniel's rant was cut off by (Y/N).

"It's fine, Daniel." she sighed, giving him a sad smile. "I got these during my sister's 'game'"

"Your sister's game?" Daniel asked, hoping she would clarify.

(Y/N) looked over at the others, making sure no one was bothered by their conversation, before continuing. "Yeah. My sister was the one being tested. It was my fault, but she was the one who got the consequences." she paused, taking a moment to fully think about how to explain her experience. "My parents died when I was little, and my sister had turned 18 a few weeks before they did. After that, she took me in; became my legal guardian, y'know. She was a nurse too, so a lot of the time I was either by myself or out with friends. When my friend Amy finally got her learners, we went out one evening and ended up in an accident. That led to me being on a shit-ton of pain meds, and eventually I got hooked. It was really bad. Jane, my sister, had access to a lot of pain medication, and I used that against her. I begged for weeks for her to steal me them. She, uh... She eventually couldn't take seeing me so bad, so she broke a lot of rules and brought me some. I guess Jigsaw found out, and he thought I was pulling her down. When he took us, his whole argument in the tape was that I was bad for her, and if she got rid of her baggage - me - then she'd be free and would go places in life. If she didn't get rid of me, she'd die." Once again, (Y/N) paused, collecting herself. "He had us tied together to this weird chair set up. It was on these rails, and in front of either of us were these things I could only describe as 'the open-faced turkey sandwich version of a woodchipper'. She was supposed to kill me - push me into mine. I begged and pleaded for her to just do it, cause, I mean, he was right. I was the only bad thing in her life. She would've been better off without me."

"If she died, and didn't want to hurt you, then how did you end up with all the scars?" Daniel quietly asked.

"I did it to myself." Daniel's eyes widened at how casually she said it. "She wouldn't push back and put me into the woodchipper, so I did it myself. I put my feet on the edges of the rails and pushed myself forwards into it. I got close enough to cut myself up a bit. I thought I was gonna save her." (Y/N)'s eyes began to water, and she quickly wiped it away. "Jane was always stronger than me, though. She pulled back and kept us at the midpoint. We were there when the timer went off. I guess it was motorized, cause when the timer went off, we moved backwards. Jane went straight into it. There was nothing I could do but sit there and listen to her screams. Jigsaw and his little groupies never came for me. I was supposed to die, so they left me there. For about a week I was strapped to the trap and what was left of my sister, out of it from blood loss, hunger, and dehydration. Some homeless guy eventually found everything and called the police."

"Wow..." Daniel muttered.

"Yeah, I know." (Y/N) hesitantly chuckled. "Since then I've been doing two sessions of regular therapy a week, this, and rehab."

As she finished her sentence, Bobby loudly spoke up. "Alright guys, today was great! It is time we wrap up though. I hope to see everyone again next week, and I hope you have a great rest of your week." The two teens watched as he walked back to the doorway of the room, stopping next to his wife, lawyer, bestfriend, and publicist.

"Well, I guess that's enough trauma dumping for today." (Y/N) glanced back over at Daniel. "Listen, uh, y'know, 'Wrath of the Gods' has a show this weekend. You should come, so we could hang out some more. To be honest, I need more friends who listen to music I like." she laughed.

Daniel grinned, "Yeah, why not?"

"Good, good." (Y/N) mumbled. "Listen, I gotta go, my foster dad picks me up from these things, but I'll see you this weekend."

"Yeah, yeah, see you later." he smiled. Daniel contently watched as she got up, and headed for the door.

As she got closer to the door, (Y/N) turned back around and waved at him. "Bye, Danny."

(Y/N) turned back around and exited, leaving Daniel to sit in the room alone, thinking over what had just happened. "Holy shit." he dramatically exhaled. Maybe coming to the "Jigsaw victim therapy group" wasn't that bad of an idea.

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zepp-l1n · 4 months

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This Is A Life

Pairing: Platonic!John Kramer x (Apprentice) Fem!reader

summary: (Y/N) struggles with her new life. fic type - angst, hurt/comfort-ish, not-great father figure x sad girl, song fic warning - manipulative relationship, sad shit, canon level saw violence, based on a song with Mitski in it soooo, unhealthy outlook on life/self worth word count - 1,497 a/n: we out here writing for peepaw now, ig... Happy (late) holidays!

This is a life Free from destiny Not only what we sow Not only what we show

Life before working with John Kramer was easy. Disappointing, going nowhere, and lonely - but it was easy. (Y/N) got by, making wages she wasn't proud of, but she was "normal". Sure, she did some things here and there that were illegal, but it was life. It was what she had to do. That was, until John found her and put her through one of his games.

Since then, she had a new outlook on her existence, and those around her. Since then, (Y/N) had worked with "Jigsaw", Amanda, Mark, and Lawrence to help people find meaning and a will to live. It wasn't the safest job, but she now had a support system and a reason to live.

This is a life (Every possibility) Free From destiny (I choose you and you choose me)

(Y/N) would be nothing without John, without her new life. She knew that. She believed that. Without his games, life wouldn't mean anything and she would've been forced to watch as time went by and she was left behind. Here, (Y/N) could make a difference. Here, (Y/N) was worth something. So, when John asked (Y/N) to help him with a new game, she was happy to oblige.

Sitting in John's workshop, (Y/N) held in her hands part of an item her mentor had called the "Venus Fly Trap". She personally liked to refer to it as the "Death Mask", but John didn't like the name as it, in his words, "took away the true meaning behind it". Taking a flathead screw driver from off of the table, (Y/N) delicately fiddled with the collar of the machine. One wrong move, and the entire trap would set off.

"We'll need that ready by next Thursday. Will it be done by then, or do you think you may need Amanda to help out a little?" John spoke up. Glancing up at him, (Y/N) noticed that when addressing her he hadn't taken his focus off of his sketch book - simply kept adding more and more ideas for more and more games.

Carefully setting the mask down, (Y/N) took no extra time in responding to the older man. "I should have it done by then. Amanda... I don't need her help. She can work on her projects."

John nodded and gave a quick hum of approval. "Alright," he muttered as he got up from his chair, "Lawrence will have him sedated and prepared for his game Friday morning, so we need it to be ready to go - nothing wrong with it. His test has to be fair."

(Y/N) watched as he started to walk past her. She had planned to keep silent; do her job and let him leave. Sadly, her mouth had other plans. "Who is it this time? Being tested, I mean..."

John stopped, seemingly thinking about the question before answering. "Michael Marks." he told her. "But, he isn't what you should worry about. Just focus on the mask." John smiled at his apprentice, gave her a pat on the shoulder, and continued his way away from her.

So, she did just as he asked. Just like she was supposed to do. Grabbing the collar, (Y/N) muttered measurements to herself in the empty room, beginning to continue the build that would inevitably either save a man, or destroy him.

Not only what we sow (Every space and every time) Not only what we show (Now we know) This is a light (Many lives that could've been) Free from entropy (Entangled for eternity)

He hadn't survived. It was as simple as that. Michael Marks hadn't had it in him to save himself, resulting in his death, and the new job that (Y/N) was tasked.

"John... I don't know about this." she muttered to the man. In her hands was a file, much like the others she had received of participants John wanted her to kidnap. This was different, though. This was a kid. "I mean, he's 17, John. He's not even the one being tested!"

"His father needs to be." John spoke calmly. "He doesn't appreciate his son's life, and he uses his position as a cop to ruin others'."

"That's not Daniel's fault!" she cried out.

Raising his voice, John yelled back at her argument. "He will be put in the gas house, just like the others! Now, go collect him for me. Do it, or I'll have Mark do it for you, and take you off of the next few games. You have to trust me, (Y/N)! You either trust me, or you are not fit to be testing with the rest of us!"

Glaring at him, (Y/N) placed the file down on the table and replaced the space in her hand with the pig mask. "He's a kid, John." her voice wavered as she tried to reason with him.

John stepped forward, placing both hands on the girl's shoulders. "His father needs to be tested, and if that is by almost losing his son, then so be it. Amanda will be with him the entire time - you know this. Daniel will be as okay as he can be." The pity in his eyes only caused (Y/N)'s throat to close up more. Guilt, anger, fear, and a vast number of more emotions surged through her body, but she knew she couldn't let him down. She couldn't mess up John's game. She couldn't give him a reason to throw her away. She couldn't lose John.

Not only hands and toes Not only what we've known We find This life Somehow Alright

Leaning forwards, (Y/N) let his arms move from her shoulders, to around the red and black robe she was wearing. Her shaky hands grasped at the front of his shirt, not daring to let go. Small and gasp-filled sobs escaped her throat as he hugged her, trying to give her some sort of comfort before she had to go get the boy.

"It'll be okay. He'll be okay." he muttered.

This is a life Slow and sudden miracles View of other worlds from our window sills With the weight of eternity

Clawing off the pig mask, (Y/N)'s screams and cries finally escaped her. She threw it to the side, letting it hit a random item somewhere in the house John had chosen for the trap. Her hair was a mess, mascara ran down her cheeks, and she was physically exhausted. Leaning down, her gloved hands lifted up the limp body of the boy, and she continued her walk over to the corner of the room, maneuvering him so he wouldn't touch any of the others. After leaning him against the wall, (Y/N) paused, using one of her hands to press back part of his hair. "I'm sorry..." she gasped. "I'm so sorry, Daniel."

(Y/N) had felt guilty enough before, but felling him fight back and hearing his cries and pleas had only caused her emotional distress to skyrocket. Leaving him here didn't feel like he was going into a test like any of the others, it felt as if she was personally responsible for what could be his death. (Y/N) hated that feeling.

(Y/N)'s cries and apologies were quickly cut short by the feeling of a soft hand on her shoulder. Glancing back through teary eyes, she could make out Amanda's figure. "I'll be there for him the entire time. He won't get hurt under my watch, I promise." she took her pinky finger and wrapped it around (Y/N)'s while speaking. "Now, I think it'd be your best bet to go back to John and the others. They're waiting, y'know."

Slowly nodding, (Y/N) took one last look at the boy before walking to the other side of the room and retrieving their mask. She then moved to the door, gave Amanda a sad smile, and shut the door. As she walked away from the room, (Y/N) could still hear every mechanism whirring, getting the gun and locks in place for when the game began. There was no going back - she had done it. She had done it for John, just as he had instructed her. Once again she had followed his orders, as if it was the only thing she could do anymore.

At the speed of light This is a life

(Y/N) stood next to John, watching the police flood into the room. She had been chosen to wait with him. She had been chosen to help from his side of the game.

He chose her.

Watching as each officer raised their weapon and let out yells, (Y/N) simply smiled. As much as it hurt, John was right. They had to be tested, and she would be the one to watch everything go down with him.

This is our life.

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