#diagnosed Agoraphobic

[ellejellehell]

Fresh Air Trip Journal

I have gone out to the park to help relax and to get more in touch with what is real and to watch over my sister and her friends. This is an adventure I am prepared to go

Outfit Is really simple, although this is my first time out fully girlmoding in a skirt so it is a lot of fun. That and stockings. and a black woman's tank top seems sick to show off my tattoos. Oh! My shoes are also important I don't know if they're rare or not but I got them limited edition at a vans store in like 2013. You may also be able to catch sight of blue floral undertakings.

I haven't really done much and there is construction so it is a bit Loud but I am really enjoying myself.

Watermelon flavor Arizona is by far my favorite out of all of the brands. it just hits just right especially with a bit of THC in your system. It is Ambrosia of the gods, up there with girlcum. (Author's note: previous horniness was ironic)

This is probably the best face pic I got all day and I think it really works with this top. Enough of a smoulder to be a dommy mommy? I am fundamentally unsure.

Also rainbow fruit on a stick is wholesome and based. Food is immediately better when eaten off of a stake. Fight me. You'll lose. I have a stake.

Also surprise swan at the end just for people who managed to get the whole way through.

#day at the park #park #outting #agoraphobia #diagnosed Agoraphobic #cute #girlslikeus #transisbeautiful #transgirl #transgender #transfem #trans appreciation #first time #looking for friends #trip blog #love #fruit #sneakers #super nintendo #bright colors #arizona tea #watermelon #swan #tank top #makeup practice #lgbt #headphones #glasses #punk #goth

[ancient-reverie]

does anyone else realize that white supremacy in america has also taken white people culture away from various different white cultures there used to be and made it into one conglomerate white person thing. like I can't look back into my ancestors and find any culture at all. and I can't really say that being american is much of a culture really it's just capitalism, and surviving that capitalism

#hell o void #pls correct me if I'm wrong #but i thought white supremacy was meant to takeover all cultures and races and mash them into one single culture and race. #and if you look at America where its juat a melting pot of migrants over 200 years but the power is held by fascist white supremacists... #all those various culutures have tried to coexist and join in as american but clearly get uh... obliterated in various ways #and i cant even express what im lacking because i dont really know what it looks like to be a part of something #if my culture is supposed to be American then whoops bc im so ashamed and unhappy to live here i wanna move #i guess im southern but also??? most people think we're racist by default and just?? no?? and people think we're stupid so #and i cant super relate to a lot of southern shit bc i stay in my house all the time bc im diagnosed agoraphobic #so maybe this is more of a me problem but idk #i gotta put my thoughts somewhere

[switchcase]

I'm getting so confused by Medicare. I got automatically enrolled in Extra Help so I got Part D but I still have a deductible but apparently if you qualify for the savings program you'd have $0 deductible? And then there's the whole Medicare Advantage/Part C vs Original Medicare.

#like what is the truth...am I paying a premium and deductible or am I not I do NOT understand #I have to call them but that's going to be a big deal because parts that are agoraphobic and avoidant have been around #I don't think I've talked about either of those problems a lot cause to be fair it is locked to specific parts #but it used to be so bad that despite that I still got diagnosed with avpd #which...I would say the term 'avoidant' makes sense for me but not avpd #mostly because it doesn't have to do with social judgement or disapproval #it's just what happens when you chuck someone who grew up in severe isolation into a setting with required social interactions #but that's not really something they can diagnose beyond PTSD so I get why they stuck it on my chart #cause the agoraphobia and isolation behaviors were pretty severe #especially when I first got out #.log

[bivampirism]

thinking about becoming full of myself a little bit. i’ll keep u posted

#Sorry 2 anyone who saw me talking about wanting to go to the psych ward do u still think im hot #this was from a few weeks ago but i was looking thru my pics... #i think everyone should see me being pretty <3 #honestly babes & girlies it's been really really rough lately.... lately as in the past 8 months #lost my job got diagnosed with ocd and realized its the reason i got fired #would make me late everyday bc I couldn't leave the house without compulsively doing my many routines to feel in control #sister knowingly gave me a covid scare on my bday. so i spent my bday not sleeping & having panic attacks #forgave her despite her being mad at ME for my reaction. turns out she's still mad & starting fights w/ family who talks to me #keep in mind she has health insurance gets pto for it while my partner doesn't & I thought they were going to die #& that we might lose the apartment #aaand losing my job + many covid scares has made me agoraphobic #working on that. #plus being without my adhd meds due to the shortage :-( #anyway just updating/venting ig… ily guys! <3 #mine

[boy-above]

hiiiii everyone i'm going in for my first appointment with transcranial magnetic stimulation therapy

#this is gonna be big for me bc i have to do it five days a week #so it's gonna be the most often i've left the house since. damn. high school #i'm a diagnosed agoraphobic so i really Do Not go outside with any kind of consistency #so going somewhere so often is a very big deal for me aaaaa #i'm proud of myself for doing this bc i feel like in the past i would have turned it down once i learned how often i need to go #but i didn't bc my dick is huge 😭 #if this doesn't work he said we could try shock therapy lmaoo #i was joking with my friends like 'i hope they give me a lobotomy that will fix me'

[sudokuplayer]

#one of my mom's friends is getting her husband (who is a psychiatrist) to get me a certificate so i dont have to go to vote #cause it's mandatory and i'm agoraphobic but haven't been to the doc since march 🥴👍🏼 #but like it's very obvious why 🤨 it terrifies me❗❗❗❗❗❗❗ #anyway if i dont vote i have to pay and it's not like an insane amount of money but i'm jobless and a loser so my plan was killing myself🫣 #and i know my mom and siblings would pay but it's so humiliatinggggg #it's also so humiliating that she told that friend about me i feel sick cause she was my brother's teacher #and my brother is so nice and brilliant and talented and well liked by everyone. and my sister is pretty and makes a lot of money #like i wanna die when i imagine my mom telling her friend about me the middle child who is the world's loserest girl 🫠 #like obviously she talks about me and my mess with her friends 🙄 even tho i always tell her to act like im dead #but now im CERTAIN she does talk about me 🤮 #... the other day she was on the phone with another friend and i heard the friend asked about my siblings and then about me and she asked #''does she eat with you or in her room?'' #🥴 it made me so sickk i dont know why #btw she asked that because my mom was telling her about dinner like what she was cooking and stuff #ok anyway i hope that thing works cause ive been so miserable since i found out the vote thing was mandatory 🤮 #and i'm sure it's illegal what the friendcs husband will do 🫣 so i'm scared #but like i have been diagnosed by two different docs 😭 and ive been on meds and i stop taking them all the time cause im paranoid but yea #the only lie is the fact that he hasn't been involved in my flop treatment.. #and that vote thingy is not like elections. it's another thing and it is important and all but 🫣 i just couldn't care less right now ❗

[reserwrekt]

Went to a new mental health place yesterday. It's been weeks of phone calls and waiting. I mentioned I've been struggling with executive dysfunction enough that it's ruining my life. Explained I don't leave my apartment for weeks at a time. Explained I don't leave my room much less, bed.

The caseworker has been chronically late for our phone calls but this place strictly expects me to adhere to their appointment times.

I got tired when caseworker was 2 hours late for a phone call. Got depressed that I was forgotten about. Continued misgendering.

I told her I didn't answer the call that day.

She got offended and accused me of not wanting help. As if I didn't exhaust myself to get here.

Mental health facilities here suck.

#Like why have telehealth but force people to come in #People with mental illness #People who are agoraphobic or exposing themselves to triggers just to get help which is a mountain task #Then I wanted to do this right and be honest #So like I just told the psychologist all this stuff that's valid and working against me #Then she openly judged me for symptoms of my mental illness #She shut me down about a lot #She also has zero knowledge about autism she thinks its a disorder that needs cured #That's the education level im dealing with #I don't know how progressive people stay positive when I go outside this is the default #Like I've been seeing a psychologist for over a year that diagnosed me adhd too #But after telling her all my symptoms she didn't mention it but diagnosed me with several symptoms of it #Like idk how you can see me for an hour and prescribe medications that can really impact my life #But you're afraid to make diagnosis which doesn't help anyone at all #I mean I know who I am im just not in a mental state to deal with medical gaslighting #So now idk what to do but start over and try somewhere else #Dude im so tired I wanna cry

[transmutationisms]

I have always been wary of the psychiatric industry, but its only very recently that i started to read anti-psychiatric works. Your blog is the first time i saw that the "chemical imbalances causing mental illness" is a myth, and honestly its something im having a hard time wrapping my head around.

Is it that mood regulation struggles, labelled as a mental illnesses, has more to do with outside factors instead of the person "just being that way"? Is it therefore unlikely for someone to have struggles with mood regulation if they cant identify any external causes that would cause them to be, for example, extremely agoraphobic or to have anger management issues? Im asking this for myself mainly, cause i always had intense agoraphobia no matter how i often go outside my home (in fact it was worse when i was a teen and i was outside the house in even more back then). I cant think of any reason for me to be like this than chemical imbalances in my brain.

the specific 'chemical imbalance' myth i was talking about in this post is the idea that depression is caused by low serotonin, and that therefore SSRIs—serotonin re-uptake inhibitors, ie drugs that cause a higher level of serotonin in the brain—ought to cure or at least ameliorate depression. this conjecture is belied by the fact that SSRIs don't, at a population level, reliably perform better than placebo.

although a neurobiological cause of 'mental illness' has long been the holy grail of psychiatry, the serotonin imbalance myth is far from the only hypothesis that psychiatrists and neuroscientists have proposed. so, a critique of the serotonin myth is not synonymous with, or generalisable to, a critique of every neurobiological mechanism purported to explain psychiatric diagnoses. you may be interested to know, though, that genomics and neuroscience have not identified a biological cause of any psychiatric diagnosis (p. 851).

all human experiences are biologically instantiated, including in the brain and wider nervous system. we are embodied beings. however, it is a leap to assume that such instantiation is automatically equivalent to a causal explanation or disease etiology. in other words, to deny that psychiatric diagnoses are known to be biologically caused does not mean we deny that thoughts and thought patterns express in the physical matter of neuroanatomy. this is a major philosophical sticking point to keep in mind whenever you're looking at something like, eg, a study that purports to show 'brain differences' in those assigned a certain psychiatric diagnosis. another thing to consider is whether these papers are plagued with methodological issues or financial conflicts of interest.

i can't possibly tell you why you exhibit agoraphobia. however, when i talk about social, economic, and environmental factors that may contribute to the patterns of behaviour labelled as 'mental illness', i'm talking about much more than the individual choice to leave your house. since phobias are 'anxiety disorders', i might start by probing into questions like: is the world you live in safe? do you perceive it as safe? do you or your community face existential threats that may confront you more obviously when you go outside? are you nervous around other people, and if so, might that be connected to fears (well-founded or not) about interpersonal violence and harm? do you think any of these anxieties may be connected to the hostility and inaccessible design of the social environment and economic conditions?

human behaviour and thought varies. some of those variations may be totally benign; others may be helpful or harmful to the person living with them. it would be weird if every single one of the 8 billion people on earth experienced precisely the same amount of anxiety about any situation, no? all of this is to say: yeah, it's entirely possible you have been, for one reason or another (genetic, neuroanatomical, social, &c) predisposed to experience high, even debilitating levels of anxiety when leaving your home. most human characteristics develop from a tangle of social, environmental, material causes—ie, from a combination of 'nature' and 'nurture'. what doesn't follow, though, is the claim that there is therefore a discrete, 'diseased' element of your brain or brain functioning that can simply be cured or eliminated through psychiatric intervention.

it is a critical point of anti-psychiatry to challenge psychiatric and neuroscientific claims to neurobiological determinism where psychiatric diagnoses are concerned. this is for many reasons, including: a) that these claims have not been demonstrated to actually be true [see above]; b) that they rob pathologised people of agency and self-determination [see: you're too sick to know you're sick, and the doctor will fix you now]; c) that they are often pushed by pharmaceutical companies with financial interests, or grant-funded researchers with... financial interests; d) that they are politically seductive in various eugenic, hereditarian discourses that seek to eliminate the biologically 'unfit' element from society.

#psychiatry

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Scripted Bracket — Round 3

Propaganda

Peter Nureyev (The Penumbra Podcast: Juno Steel):

His character is the reason the term "Homme Fatale" became a thing

Homme fatale, living by the mantra of be gay, do crime. V secretive and just the right amount of flirty. Also I love him

He’s a slutty master thief who slept with a detective he went on 1 date(murder case) with and then fell ass over tea kettle in love. Literally can’t think of anything sexier

Antigone Funn (Wooden Overcoats):

An extremely agoraphobic mortician of a local funeral home who has every disease. Nervous wreck. Makes noises when stressed. An artist at heart (her embalming fluid is imbued with the fragrance of cinnamon).

she's the goth gf of your dreams. she's an undertaker, a romance novelist, a hot air balloon pilot, and she has interiority for days

It's antigone or unfollow me

please, everyone, antigone deserves this. she ghost-wrote a wildly successful erotic novel and then faked the death of the fake author. she didn’t leave her house for 17 years except to go see horny french films every thursday. she accidentally ended up in a love triangle with a hot domme lesbian circus ringmaster and her own employee. she broke up with a doctor after one date because he didn’t respect her career (and also his parrot hated her). she experienced years of carnal yearning for her professional rival only to finally realize she was actually okay on her own. she drinks embalming fluid. she thinks of funerals as an art form. she was diagnosed with depression as an infant. she wanted to be a clown when she grew up. her hero is a historical female scientist who has a statue with her tits out. she’s been attacked by owls. a bunch of children thought she was a forest witch. the rest of the village thought she was dead. she has committed multiple counts of breaking and entering. she designed artisanal chocolates that put you in a temporary coma. she can’t eat her own chocolates because she’s allergic to everything. she attracts shadows like a magnet. she’s a woman in STEM. if you have any love in your heart for goth weirdgirls you’ll do the right thing. ANTIGONE SWEEP

GUYS PLEASE

PLEASE VOTE FOR ANTIGONE!!!!!

CMON DON’T LET MY GIRL “CANNONICALLY WANTED BY EVERYONE ON THIS ISLAND” LOSE!!!

Considering committing voter fraud for Antigone. My girl 😔

Vote Antigone because do you understand how narratively satisfying it would be if she won??? Season one? She could barely go outside her mortuary. Season four? Modeling for a sexy calendar. THE CHARACTER GROWTH!!!!!!! Nothing more sexy than that.

COME ON Y'ALL VOTE ANTIGONE. VOTE FOR MY HORNY GOTH QUEEN!!!!!

VOTE ANTIGONE OR DIE

IF YALL DONT VOTE ANTIGONE UR BLOCKED. This isn’t even a joke.

#Round 3 #Peter Nureyev #Antigone Funn #The Penumbra Podcast #Second Citadel #Wooden Overcoats

[wri0thesley]

I am so sorry if this is invasive and weird, but may I ask what you work as? I'm at the stage where I have to build my future and I know you don't have an age specified but you seem to be doing really well (at least from the posts we've seen, again I really hope not to be invasive) for yourself and your partner and 25+ is still young! Again, I hope this isn't mean or weird, I'm just curious. (and severely nervous. First year of college is ruining me harder than any fictional man.)

ahh anon i'm afraid that the answer is probably not what you're looking for!

for the record, i am 27, i just find getting fandom older a little scary, especially having it listed right there!!!

i actually intended to be a performer and a singing teacher (my degree was going to be in music & musical theatre); unfortunately, due to a plethora of reasons (mostly my undiagnosed autism, unmedicated ocd/depression/anxiety combo, a nervous breakdown and my partner's physical health declining) i dropped out of my degree before the end of my first semester.

for about three years or so after that i was severely agoraphobic. talking 'can't answer the door' agoraphobic; 'never left the house alone, and even when with someone only went to the doctors and therapy' agoraphobic, 'rotted in my bedroom in an absolutely non romanticised way' agoraphobic. i was on the equivalent of disability because i literally could not function. meanwhile, my partner, who lived with me and my parents was getting physically worse whilst i was mentally struggling (since then haz has been diagnosed with ehlers danlos syndrome, fibromyalgia, lipoedema, thyroid issues and a lot of other things; they have a lot going on). i DID access several therapies, had . . . a couple of very bad relapses, went under crisis teams and all of that stuff (i had occupational therapy too which was HONESTLY i think one of the most useful things and helpful things for me in the long run; i cannot imagine what i would be like if i hadn't had the occupational therapist the crisis team found for me).

(coincidentally, if you are an og jojo follower you probably remember how bad it was; i've said it a hundred times, but running this silly little reader-insert blog probably helped save my life at a time when i had almost no contact with the outside world. i couldn't leave my bedroom, but i had my blog and i had my little internet friends and discord server).

i have gotten a lot better.

haz, unfortunately, has not gotten better physically and probably never will. they need help with a lot of things most people don't even realise disabled people might need help with. brushing their hair, fastening clothes . . . when haz first moved in, they were doing the same dance-intensive college course that i was. we danced maybe three or four hours a day. nowadays, haz needs me to hold their hand and keep them steady when they go from our bed to the bathroom (the room next door).

so i don't really 'work' as anything. well, my therapist would tell me off for saying that; the uk government classes me as an 'unpaid carer', which basically means i am on call for haz literally 24/7 and they pay me the pittance that is carer's allowance (carer's allowance assumes you care at least 35 hours a week, and pays you the privilege of about 45 pence per each of those hours. if, like me, you live with the person you care for and do more than those hours, it gets . . . yeah. oof. the government unfortuately know that most unpaid carers are loved ones and family members of the person who needs care and won't just stop doing it, and they'd be in the shit if we did because trained carers are expensive, so they can get away with that - FUCK the tories, honestly.

i am EXCEEDINGLY lucky that i live in a cheap area of the uk, that haz and i are internet savvy enough to be able to access carers/disability discounts, that we are in rent-controlled social housing (which my crisis team helped find for us because living with my parents was taking such a toll on us both, woo!!!!), and that we've been able to access services to help on the nhs. i got my autism assessment and diagnosis; haz is under several pain management teams.

all in all, i'm happy. i'm so much happier than i was seven years ago when i'd dropped out of university and felt like a huge failure, because all of my life i was a gifted overachiever and i thought my self-worth was tied to my academic achievements (and as an extension, what roles i got in what shows and when and who saw me and so on). i don't have a lot of money (i am a bargain shopped fgbnkjgjnfb) but i know what i like and because i'm Older Now (tm) i've amassed collections of it.

i am absolutely sure that you'll boss college, anon! that you will find that thing that works for you (one day i would LOVE to go back and get my degree! pre-covid i had an acceptance for a creative writing degree and i was getting ready to go back to uni as a mature student, but haz's health got bad again and then covid happens - and now ofc i have my autism diagnosis i can access so much more help!). but even if you don't, you can absolutely find happiness without 'traditional' success.

i don't have a lot in the grand scheme of things. but you're right in that i am doing pretty well, in terms of where i am, and where i've been. i have my own little home. i have my partner of ten years who is my soulmate in every conceivable way. i've had experiences that make me feel so happy i sometimes cry when i remember them. i have my own little cat now!!! things still stress me out. but i have come so so far and when i feel down i remember that.

good luck anon! i believe in you <3

#nat.txt

[poetrylesbian]

it's so stupid that psychiatrists want people in your life to give them information about you as a kid to support adult adhd diagnoses. like these fuckers clearly never noticed anything was wrong, do you think they're gonna remember all that shit now? im 26! they didn't realise I was depressed when I wasn't able to get out of bed! they didn't realise I was agoraphobic when I was scared to leave the house and probably only had a few weeks of grade 12 where I was able to go to school every day! and you're expecting them to have realised I have concentration issues?

#like i get it but its frustrating #and i have been informed that for the last two years ive only had a provisional adhd diagnosis and not a formal one? #so im gonna have to pay like. hundreds and hundreds of dollars to see a specialised psychiatrist and formally diagnosed #all i wanted was to see a psychiatrist closer to home! to get better drugs! #like how does this even work ive been on adhd meds for two years but wasn't diagnosed to the proper standards? #im going crazy guys

[femsolid]

“The diagnoses associated with men seem to describe someone who is selfishly looking out for himself and unconcerned about others (antisocial) and someone who feels sufficiently safe that he doesn’t have to be constantly vigilant and/or doesn’t want to be held responsible for his actions (alcohol and drug abuse/dependence). These male-typical diagnoses are more characteristic of a dominant than a subordinate.

The diagnoses associated with women describe someone who is depressed, frightened but unable to acknowledge the source of fright (agoraphobia, simple phobia, panic disorder), unable to express unhappiness even to herself (somatization disorder), and someone who must be ever vigilant (obsessive-compulsive). The diagnoses associated with women describe characteristics of a subordinate. Although we have used the psychiatric term “mental disorder” we view these symptoms of subordination as normal responses to an unhealthy social environment. Furthermore, we view them as survival strategies.

One of the most common forms of phobia is agoraphobia, a condition that restricts the lives of over a million women (e. g., they may refuse to drive or leave their homes alone, and, in extreme cases, become housebound). The two most common ages of onset are late adolescence, when women are normally moving away from their families of origin, and the late twenties to early thirties. Agoraphobics fear that autonomous action will disrupt their inter-personal relationships with families of origin or husbands.

Weissman and Klerman (1977) point out that the greater preponderance of depression in females may be due to, among other things, (1) social discrimination against women, leading to “legal and economic helplessness, dependency on others, chronically low self-esteem, low aspirations, and, ultimately, clinical depression”, and (2) femininity, which they conceptualize as creating “a cognitive set against assertion” and a type of “learned helplessness”, characteristic of depression.”

- Loving To Survive by Dee L. R. Graham

#quote #loving to survive #psychiatry #gender #male terrorism #mp

[holyluvr]

Maybe therapy for StPD “doesn’t work” because the therapists keep telling clients who have a nervous system way more wired up than them, with severe hyper-vigilance, who read between lines as a subconscious norm, with clinical distrust in others, and with a completely different perception of reality, a bunch of bullshit that invalidates our lives.

“Have you considered that your anxiety makes you feel like people are staring when they aren’t?” Yeah, because every doctor before you mentioned that. But after diagnosing someone with something based on eccentricity and accepting that they’ve been through hardships from it, it doesn’t make much sense to pretend that people don’t stare.

My self image of being a freak is from people’s reactions to me. How can you note that people with StPD are at a higher risk of violence and social rejection because of oddness and social ineptness then pretend that it’s mean and paranoid of us to separate ourselves from others, distrust, assume negative motives and judgements, and feel like people view us as weird? It’s from real lived experiences. You can’t use the same treatment for Social Anxiety Disorder on Schizotypal Personality Disorder and expect that to help.

You’re the one in authority saying it’s the weirdo-social reject-lonely & sad-poor meow meow-magical girl-Willy Wonka-Taxidriver-apathetic-madhatter-agoraphobic-obsessive-paradoxical-asshole-spiritualist-unkept-freak personality disorder. And you’re going to pretend that I’m paranoid when I mention that people make fast negative judgments of me and stare?

#… #schizotypal personality disorder

[sharptoothed-gaze]

wait badboy is agoraphobic? n germaphobic?

I'm not sure if he has called himself agoraphobic in the past, but he has directly mentioned being germaphobic!

Bbh has indeed mentioned his anxiety and concerns about germs and how they have led to him traveling less. If I can remember, I believe he has mentioned having a lot of problems with LA in particular as the city can be filthy.

(Also, bbh has mentioned sometimes having problems with the concept of sharing clothes with people because of germs while talking to Tubbo once. Things like that get mentioned every now and then, but I can't think of more examples off the top of my head.)

As far as agoraphobia, I'm using that word as a descriptor of his anxieties regarding the fear of leaving the controlled space of his house. (so, I wanna clarify, that I don't think I've heard him use the term himself and I have zero intent to diagnose him with anything)

I think the word comes to my mind because he reminds me a ton of my mom who is agoraphobic. She has major anxiety around trips because they're unpredictable and mean she is in an uncontrolled environment for very extended periods of time. Her main problem is actually with leaving our dogs as she's stressed something will happen to her or them while she is away. That and germs can make traveling deeply uncomfortable for her, and bbh gives me the exact same vibe.

#qsmp #badboyhalo #qsmp text post #Someone asked Sharp!

[bpdcrybaby213]

They call me Crybaby. But I don't fuckin care.

"I would have sailed away if I'd known that nothing would change." 🎶

TW: heavy suicide ideations

I can't get therapy because I have Medicare for insurance and it's impossible to find anyone who accepts it. There are 4+ year waiting lists. So I'm not in treatment.

A Little About Myself...

(I'm Sadie)

- she/her

- 32 years old

- heterosexual

- LGBT ally

- very Liberal

- that is me in the picture, from the back, in my Korn "Still a Freak" shirt

- non religious with interest in The Satanic Temple

- I have a 5 year old son who lives with my mother (they live in the same apartment complex as me)

- In a relationship with my son's father (9 years on and off, ups and downs) I will always love him and he's my fp (favorite person)

- I'm diagnosed with autism, borderline personality disorder, unspecified mood disorder, major depression, auditory processing disorder, adjustment disorder

- My BPD type is "self destructive" type

- I have binge eating disorder (obese eating disorder) I am obese, so if you hate fat people, you shouldn't follow me. Fat positive here but struggle with self esteem.

- I've struggled with self harm since I was 14.

- I'm agoraphobic with severe social anxiety (I can go out in public but not for very long without extreme anxiety and prefer to stay in my home)

- I don't work, I don't drive, I live by myself in my apartment, I'm on social security income for my mental disabilities

- I live in Pennsylvania, USA

Hyperfixations:

- The Golden Girls

- Home Improvement show

- Joker

- Pete Davidson

- Nine Inch Nails/Trent Reznor

- Linkin Park/Chester Bennington/Grey Daze

- Taylor Swift (my favorite album is 1989)

- Yungblud

- Green Day specifically American Idiot era

- Kurt Cobain

- HIM/Ville Valo/heartagrams

- Jack Off Jill/Jessicka Addams

- Finland

- Jack Skellington

- Hello Kitty

- Rugrats

- Bam Margera

- Jackass and entire crew/CKY crew

- Melanie Martinez/Cry Baby album and concept or aesthetic

- horror movies specifically slasher

- splatterpunk books

- gore in general

- Art the Clown

- Saw film series

- Final Destination film series

- Texas Chainsaw Massacre films

- American Horror StorIES show

- American Horror Story season 1/Tate Langdon

- The Twilight Zone (original)

- short horror stories

- young adult fiction about mental health

- goth and alternative culture

- emo 2006-2010, I'm an elder emo

- Columbine specifically Dylan Klebold

- serial killers (favorite is Albert Fish)

- Grunge

- Industrial/the sound of machines

- 90s and early 2000s rock and alternative

- Punk culture

- paranormal/occult

- cemeteries

- death things like morticians and funeral homes

- Marilyn Manson

- Josh Todd and Buckcherry

-The Sims (1-4, 3 is my favorite, and I've been playing since the original)

- I love tattoos, piercings and body modification though I do not have any (except for a semicolon tattoo on my wrist)

#Spotify

[self-dx-culture-is]

self diagnosed agoraphobia culture is “what if I’m faking… I mean I went out twice last month and THREE times the month before” and then you realize that you haven’t gone out BY YOURSELF for over a decade and you just sit there like oooooooohhhhhh…. yup. still agoraphobic.

.

#self dx culture is #agoraphobia #anon