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nevertheless-moving · 3 months

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unable to stop dwelling on the discworld trouser leg of time where, in the penultimate fight scene in Nightwatch, Carcer manages to kill teenage Sam Vimes.

Which means that the future that Duke Vimes came from can no longer exist, which means he can’t go home. Meanwhile you’ve got a bunch of history monks with stored up temporal energy, a prepared space outside of time, and the need to do some desperate damage control before the Auditors get involved. Death shows up, reality is unweaving, Sam is reading Carcer his discworld miranda rights because what else is he supposed to do.

and finally, with little other option, the monks de-age Sam so he fits the time period and send him back out into the fray.

(they didn't call it deageing of course. His memory is hazy, splintered during that terrible in between moment, They....took the time out of him? Sanded away the edges of his self for a terrible, workable fit? It...wasn't a good feeling.)

Just—damn. Sam Vimes having to live his whole crapsack life over again, but this time as his disillusioned-reillusioned, unwillingly-character-developed, noir-epic, Duke of Ankh, Commander Sir Samuel Vimes self.

Younger (Older? He's never felt so Old, His steps so Childlike, reality twisting in his gut like one of Dibbler's pies) Sam Vimes walking around in a haze after the revolution. Desperate to go home, knowing he can’t. Wanting to drink. Knowing he can’t.

The whole precinct feels pity, he really took Keel’s death hard, hardly speaks except to do his job. Eventually he has to grit his teeth and start being present, because what else is there to do?

Resists the urge to drink until Colon takes the whole watch out to celebrate because -he’s going to be a father!

Come on Sammy, one drink won’t kill you— and after the first drink he’s cracking jokes and after the second hes smiling and after the third hes honestly the life of the party and sometime after that he’s crying about how he was going to be a father and my wife would be ashamed if she saw me drinking like this and—

Oh shit, Did anyone else know he had a wife?? A PREGNANT wife??? What—aren’t you like 12—no you're 17 now aren't you but when did—

You guys n’ver met ’er—oh gods none if you ev’n know ‘er, is jus’ me...

What—when did you lose—

I lost her the same damn day I los’ ev’rythin else, whadya think...bleeding Carcer...the fuckin revolution...

So! That! Sam only vaguely remembers the night, but rumors travel faster than light on the disc, so by the next day the whole damn city knows about poor Sam brung low by the loss of his poor, tragic, pregnant wife, so young to be a widower, and the Seamstresses nod because they already knew, don’t ask them how, somethings you just have to know in that trade.

And his mother—I don’t know, sue me, I’m a time travel fiend but there’s something deeply intriguing about a man meeting his dead parent, who is somewhat younger than him, and stepping into the old relationship like a badly fitting thing that's supposed to fit well. She would know, right? How would she deal with her son’s impossible grief? Maybe she wouldn’t know—he spent most of the time out of the house, running with different street gangs, maybe he avoids her until she dies and lives with the guilt twice over. God, we don’t even know her name. There’s just so much narrative and emotional potential that I don’t even know where to start.

When he’s on duty, which is most time - it’s agonizing because at first he remembers cases, saves lives that would have been lost. But the more time passes, the hazier his memory because in the original timeline he was becoming an alcoholic. Fuck! A kid dies and he could have saved her if he hadn’t been such a drunk, if he had just remembered where the asshole lived, but it’s all a haze, and he wants to drown out his guilt, but that’s what caused this in the first place.

Good young Sammy, who spends his rare off-time in dusty libraries (and yes, the irony that he’s apparently Carrot now is not lost on him) reading gods-only-know.

It’s not like he can ask the wizards for help, cutthroat and vicious as they are now in the not-so-distant-past.

Good young Sam, who...talks to the Broken Drum’s pet Bouncer like he’s a real person and not a dumb rock? That’s a bit weird, but he’s a bit of a funny guy.

Good old Sam, who believed the testimony of the dwarf who said the humans were trying to rob him and let the dwarf go??

the PROBLEMS this man would cause, good grief. Can you imagine a moderately progressive middle aged man with some degree of begrudging diversity and equity training that he did, for all his sins, pay attention to, suddenly going back to like, 1990, going back just 30 years, and going...oh damn this is kind of fucked up, no man you can’t say that, holy shit.

Except Sam’s lived through even more rapidly shifting social moroes! There’s no seamstress guild, there’s no women allowed inside the university, there’s no black ribboner’s society. People hunted trolls for their teeth! But Sam can’t just unlearn everything, and he can’t shut up, and he has no real luck and anyway he would absolutely get himself (temporarily) fired.

FUCK. Sam has no idea what to do with that. None. Zero clue. Wanders around in a haze until that dwarf he saved from police brutality finds him and insists on repaying the debt. No, he insists, do you have any idea what debt means to a dwarf?

“Sort-of?” he replies hesitantly, and that honest admission of incomplete knowledge shows a hell of a lot more respect and understanding than any self proclaimed dwarf-expert ever did.

Gets a job as a surface man, hauling rocks into the city. It’s backbreaking work, but, in true Discworld fashion, it’s also one hell of a workout (again the irony of being Carrot is not lost him. he freezes for a minute while hauling a rock cart, when he remembers he's technically Lost Nobility too, in a strict sense, but someone curses at him in the street and he's comfortingly grounded)

And here is where this au slides into a SPECTACULAR romantic comedy, BEAR WITH ME. Because in his time on the Watch he’s already done noir, action adventure, war story, detective who dunnit, psychological horror, but guards guards only allowed him to be a romance protagonist in an extremely limited context.

Give me righteous, twenty-something-looking, can’t-say-he-doesn’t-have-style, young Sam Vimes, not an alcoholic, being fed three square meals a day by his dwarven forced found family, hauling rocks. He is startled to find him bumping his head on a low hanging bar that he doesn’t think used to be there, eventually realizing that he’s an inch or two taller than he remembers. Huh. Guess all that bearhuggers really did stunt his growth.

Still doesn’t get what some of the looks from women he’s getting are about, sure, he’s dirty but so is everyone else. Fine, he took his shirt off, but it’s hot out, there’s far wrinklier than him hauling heavy loads, get a life.

Happens to glance in the Ankh one day when it’s particularly slow and shiny and is startled to realize that he might be turning heads for a different reason. Oh. Right, not that he was ever a heartbreaker, but he did alright for himself... when he was a younger and his face hadn’t been broken so many times. Which...it isn't now.

Is mildly disturbed by the revelation.

Especially once things blow over at the precinct and what with high mortality rates, he ends up with getting hired again. The boys are delighted to have him back, nevermind that he’s an odd one, noone is ever quite in your corner like Vimsey, absence makes the heart fonder, no one else works that hard, and he’s not even competition for promotion. All around great guy, we should set him up with somebody and just, no.

It just keeps getting worse! He’s literate! He’s a feminist! He believes abuse victims! He’s got a tragic backstory! He’s unreasonably good in a fistfight! He’s kind to animals! Word gets around that there’s a good man on the watch and he’s just waiting for a good woman to come snap him up. The widower excuse doesn’t hold people off completely, and for some it’s its own sort-of appeal.

Things REALLY become stressful after he rescues that carriage full of noblewoman.

What’s he supposed to do? Let them get robbed? Or worse? Chasing down and beating up 10 goons is as easy as beating up one, when they’re that stupid, getting separated like that, drunk and distracted, and he knows these streets better than anyone, really it’s nothing. And oh lord he’s Modest too.

I mean, they were genuinely greatful, as genuine as people like that are capable of being, the skill having grown rusty. And then there is something...magnetic about the man. An air of command.

So, soon enough you get Lady Marigold of Marigrave calling on Treckle Road for that gallant young officer who rescued them, she really needs to thank him. And Viscountess Elanor Thitzferal specifically requesting that he guard her at her next soiree. And Baroness Julieta van Shoeholten insisting that he come to her home while her husband’s away, for... manly protection.

Aaaah just zero sympathy from the guys. None. 'It’s become a competition, they’re just trying to see who can get me into bed first, it’s like I’m a piece of meat, you can’t send me sir, the Marquess greeted me in a nightee last time you made me go to—' and 'small gods Vimes are you even listening to yourself, shut the hell up'.

Simultaneous to this, (again this is several years into the timeline) swamp dragon accessories come into style. Which means abandoned swamp dragons scrounging on the street. Vimes takes one back to his apartment, blows his paycheck on dragon medicine, and eventually, heart in his chest, brings it to the Ramkin estate. The sunshine orphanage doesn’t even exist yet and he’s just standing outside the gates like an idiot, what is he thinking. Turns around, but her carriage is pulling up and—

well. they meet. it's cute. he's never felt so young. he's never felt so old, too old for her, too poor—

and certainly her thoughts linger too long on the awkward, kindly, handsome young commoner, but is it any wonder she doesn't quite connect it to the stern, dangerous, sexy young guard the ladies seem to be in some quiet, cuthroat competition over?

i have this gorgeous, absurd scene in my head in which Vimes is strong armed into standing guard at some high society soiree and one of the pushiest ladies insists he dance with here, or, if he prefers, if he's not confident about his skills, he can dance with her in-private at her home and he’s like [grinding teeth, looking for a way out, seeinf one] “I would be honored to dance with you.”

Steps right into some ultra-complex dance with multiple partner swaps (she never thought he'd pick this one, devilishly intimidating to one not strictly trained, and you barely spend anytime with your first partner).

But he does alright. Better than alright, for a common man, sometimes misstepping but his hands and feet always end up where they need to be. Raises several eyebrows part way into the song because he's throuwing in some slightly scandalous, no innovative, extra lifts and twirls that wouldn't become fashionable for another decade or two. Who even is that guy? Some out of towner? No, no he's in a guards uniform...how very strange.

Gets to Sybll and she's used to embarrassment during these dances, she tries to get out of them when she can... but can't always. Men awkwardly skipping the lifts, or worse, trying and failing. But him — oh it's him, the one who helped little Erold, and looked at her like—like—well like she was someone beautiful. And he's doing it again, and he's strong and there's a quiet moment where she's in the air, they lock eyes, and the rest of the room melts away.

And then the partners change again, the moment ended.

Just...living throught it all again. To the left, a dance he almost knows the steps to, throwing others off balance with erratic moves , honest mistakes, and delibrate stepping on toes. Improvising. Ruining. Improving. Getting far, far too much attention.

Hes almost excited when the first assassains start coming after him. It's like a hobby.

Everyone tells him he should get a hobby.

Interactions with young vetinari...I don't have the energy to write it all down, the slow circling in on each other, both burning with the need to fix the city, save it, their city.

needless to say he ends up fired again, life under real threat after offending some high lord.

Conveniently enough he has an employment opportunity- bodyguard to fucking Vetinari on his 'grand sneer.' The bastard knows vimes isn't what he seems, though sam is pretty sure that he doesnt know the exacts.

Vetinari hypothesis:(the ghost of keel? Keels son, with some hereditary curse? Or a larger spirit of justice possessing a string of unrelated souls? He knows things he shouldn't- mind reader? Fortune teller? Havelock once arranged for a wizard to bump into him on the street, the magical fool gave an odd double look and then muttered something about destiny looping in on itself giving him a headache. Destiny? Lost noble? And hes far too familiar with sybyl, one of the few bearable noblewomen in this city. And his thoughts on guilds, when havelock can trip him into speaking... Most of all, if hes reading him at all correctly (for all the mystery hes not that hard to read, unless thats a very clever cover) then it seems that behind those dark haunted eyes is Respect. Loyalty. For vetinari. What an interesting man. A puzzling asset. An intriguing threat. )

Did I mention the timeline is changing, healing slowly around the place where it was torn? Healing enough around scars to perhaps get some flexibility back, with some painful stretches and...massaging of said scar tissue?

And hes heading to unresting uberwald, a place where a werewolf pack still hunts humans and, truely unrelated but perhaps equally exhausting, an eldritch spirit of vengeance just might be looking to stretch its legs in a hapless vessel?

Opening drabble Vimes Vetinari Meta (Unwell)

#discworld #sam vimes #discworld au #nightwatch au #i literally drafted this post in December 2021 #and i know it was living in my head for years already at that point #i have more somewhere aging like cheese in the back of my mind #discworld fanfic #night watch #Let this be free from my mind #Perhaps someone else will write it #BE FREE ANCIENT AU OF MY SOUL #For all my obsession with discworld I have but this one (1) AU though it tears at me like the seam of a pair of pants #The songs I have permanently associated with this au are slightly bonkers by the way #My au #Seriously there's like two full novels worth of content up here. Sybyll running away from home and living as a commoner #To mirror Sam joining upper class in original timeline you see?#Some early discworld murder Wizard nonsense when they try to poke at the temporal anomaly and the universe goes brrrr #Eventually catching up with color of Magic city burning bs and vimes is mad as fuck #Weird year that never was protecting people during sourcery #And when we start catching up with where he left #Oh ho ho you can't to forward to something that doesn't exist but maybe you can go sideways to a place that's got a tear in it #A sam vimes shaped tear #And his pregnant wife from 30 years ago in the other trouser leg #AND that's not even mentioning how carcers trial got taken to a...higher court

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potato-lord-but-not · 1 year

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AU where Moist joins the press and chaos ensues

#in this au Adora has become the new postmaster and essentially merges the post with the trust #Moist flirts with all of his coworkers because he’s a menace #he also does sketches of suspects if peopel give him a description #he’s more like a detective in this au but I think that works pretty well tbh #also this spawned an ambidextrous moist headcanon that I’m going to integrate into my canon for him #discworld #discworld au #going postal #the truth #moist von lipwig #adora belle dearheart #william de worde #sacharissa cripslock

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just-a-gender-fluid-puddle · 3 months

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I'm rereading both Howl's Moving Castle and Monstrous Regiment at the same time, and I keep noticing the similarities between Polly and Sophie, to the point where I read something that one of them did and I think that the other would definitely react in the same way. As well as this, Howl and Sophie's dynamic in the book really reminds me of Polly and Maladict's dynamic. Anyway I need an au where Polly is Sophie and Maladict is Howl because I could 100% see Polly throwing a bucket of weedkiller in Maladict's face.

#discworld #howl's moving castle book #howl's moving castle #polly perks #maladict #howl pendragon #sophie hatter #discworld au #puddle says stuff

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xylophone888 · 1 year

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i love my aus so much i got fired from my job as the nonposting beauty

heres one of em

#discworld #discworld au #is that even a tag #guess i made it into one tho so now it is #the au is basically rincewind and twoflower getting a child #rincewind found her in the trash labyrinth that is the uu dumpster and almost fleed the scene #until she asked what time is it #he fleed right after that but came back and thus the non human goo daughter era of his life started #the image is their family photo from like half a year after the big find #rincewind even bought a tie for the first time in years (didn't like it but i mean its family you sometimes need to do stuff like that)#cw eye contact #cw horror #i guess?#/j i didn't get fired from anywhere but i still love my aus #twoflower was put on a box so that the picture has him and rincewind with great relief preferred his face to be left out instead #rinceflower #discworld art

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formosusiniquis · 8 months

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*whispers* Some kind of Terry Pratchett AU

This got wildly out of control in the sense that I spent way too much time thinking about this today and now I'm scrapping all my current reads so I can reread Discworld. It has footnotes! Anyway I interpreted some kind of Terry Pratchett as vague Discworld and this happened.

Currently taking warm up prompts - they will end up being Stranger Things

“Get out of the window kid. Have you been invited in there?”

Hearing Hopper’s voice makes Eddie miss Brenner for one fitful second.^1 Brenner never instilled nosy night watchmen who ruined his day. He’d even risked getting singed to make it to this exact spot before shift change. “Really up and at ‘em tonight, chief!” Eddie cheers, he doesn’t move from the window.

“There were reports of a disturbance.” Hopper grouches.

“Weird, I didn’t notice any disturbance climbing up here. Good luck hunting it down!”

“Munson, get your bloodsucking ass down from the window. You are the disturbance.”

“Pretty sure talk like that is hate speech, Chief, thought you Nightwatch types were supposed to be accepting?” He does float down though, if that vein bulging in Hop’s neck bursts like it’s threatening to it would make a nice snack.^2

“I’ve been very accepting, or I would have hauled you in for breaking and entering already.”

“I didn’t break anything, and I’d barely even entered. Are these the kind of flimsy cases that Owen’s Hawkins is basing its justice system around? That’s bordering on wrongful imprisonment. I’ll have my day in court!” Hopper shuts him up with a growl and a hand fisted in his collar.^3

“What were you doing breaking into the Harrington place, Munson. Cut the bullshit, I’ve got a dark wizard uprising that actually needs my attention instead of playing personal police to this side of town.”

“I wasn’t breaking in. I was invited.”

“By the owner of the house.”

“Yes!”

“No influence involved?”

“How little you think of me! I am a wanted and treasured guest.”

“Then why are you coming in through the window?”

“Wow, Hop, the romance dead between you and Joyce already? I try to keep things fresh so my lovely little lord stays interested, thus I climb my fair prince's tower."

That vein looks extremely close to bursting, it's making his mouth water a little. "Remember how I feel about the local childminder^4 and try that sentence again, Munson.”

“I pissed Stevie off and I’m pretty sure he had Dustin set up a flashbulb on the door. I figured if he saw me in person he couldn’t stay mad.” And he doesn’t want to get swept up by the maid again. Last time he almost got tossed with the actual dust, and he’s pretty sure she was gonna do it on purpose.

“Pretty sure he can, kid.” Hopper says, clapping him on the back and heading off toward his uprising or whatever. “Next time, why don’t you sing him a song. Or try not pissing him off in the first place.”

Some advice that was, Stevie loved playing a little fairytale pretend. He just needed to decide if he was the dashing prince or the beast that trapped him.

^1: This would mark the only time anyone, shy of his mother† would actually miss Brenner.

† His mother, of course, unaware of the many crimes against children, humanity, and inhumanity that he had committed.

^2: Eddie had actually gone full Black Ribbon, but he was a big believer in waste not, want not

^3: For a man of so many growls, Hopper was not the lone werewolf officer on the Nightwatch. A win for Don’t Judge a Book By its Cover activists everywhere.

^4: Harrington's Home for Horrible Half Pints, though poorly named, took advantage of the young Lord Steve Harrington’s supernaturally magnetic draw for troublemakers, rascals, and rapscallions. He was regularly trailed by six mischief makers who wouldn’t listen to anyone but him.

#my fic #my warmups #steddie #eddie munson #jim hopper #discworld au #vampire eddie munson #it's been a little while since i've let myself read a discworld book (cause I'm savoring them)#so hopefully this fits the vibes #bifuriouswaterbender

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villafordefeatedvillains · 2 years

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24 and that one book series that Teatime is from

Reality TV AU and Discworld (specifically Hogfather). A show that's sure to become a seasonal classic has just begun airing. The premise is simple: make people's Christmases not just good, make them sure to be remembered for the rest of their lives. The teams are... interesting. An undertaker (he refused to give his name when signing up, everyone just calls him Death), his crotchety old butler, Albert, his granddaughter Susan and a mysterious man who they don't even know (Teatime) on one team, and the other team... well, they're essentially mafia members. Things are going well, until mall Santas start being brutally murdered, one every day that an episode airs. Written in blood at the scenes of the crime are numbers, that when put together are coordinates to a place in northern Greenland. Now, the two teams must race against the clock to find out what lies at the center of the coordinates (Santa's workshop. I mean, what else would it be?) and stop an assassin (it's Teatime. Duh.) from permanently putting an end to Christmas. Anyway, there's an epic sword fight at some point and Teatime gets stabbed with a fireplace poker (he dies). Susan has to drag along the kids she babysits because their parents are in the Bahamas. Later on it turns out that Teatime and the mafia members were hired by Spirit Halloween so they can extend Halloween into December and sell more stuff. Susan at all times has three child leashes and they are for her teammates and not for the literal children. I'm so sorry for twisting your prompt so unrecognizably. I will do it again.

#discworld #discworld au #answered #hogfather #hogfather au #the hogfather

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jellymish-reblogblog · 2 months

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Thinking about Vimes and his friendships again after finding a very good post about him and Angua. I've always had the impression that he finds it easier to be friends with women than with men. If there's ever been a Sharing Of Feelings, it's been with Angua or with Cheery, or with Sybil. It doesn't really happen with the lads.

He's kind of One Of The Girls, spiritually speaking.

#sam vimes #not a gentleman but a gentle man #discworld #commander vimes #city watch #terry pratchett #This also feeds into a growing genderqueer AU that is knocking around in my head lol

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nonasuch · 24 days

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hm. Discworld AU where Carrot first came to Ankh-Morpork on the trail of the killers of his father, and, for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, remained, attached as liaison officer with the AMCW. is this anything

#discworld #due south #i think one major issue is that Angua would have to stand in for both Diefenbaker and at least one Ray which is a lot to ask of her #also. i think this inevitably leads to the AU where benton fraser is by right of birth the uncrowned king of chicago #so like. this all needs some work probably

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annaholak · 2 years

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“I still think we should just fly there..”

“We are flying there, Esme.”

“I mean on broomsticks. Like proper witches.”

“You know very well it’s too far to fly on a broomstick. The airplane will be just as fine. Certainly more comfortable..”

“You attach too much value to comfort, Gytha.”

“Why are you being so difficult about this? You don’t even like broomsticks!”

“I’ll take a broomstick over a plane anytime! At least I’m the one flying it….”

“Oh… So that’s it, isn’t it? Esme Weatherwax, you have control issues, you know that, don’t you?”

Inktober Prompt 7: Trip

#i'm with granny on this one #broomsticks sound much better than planes #wyrd sisters #witches #modern disc au #discworld fanart #gnu terry pratchett #magrat garlick #granny weatherwax #nanny ogg #inktober 2022

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asparklethatisblue · 5 months

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You heard of Batcis, now get ready for Fitzbat.

More Vampire AU, this time Francis has turned James, though there’s still much to get used to about new abilities

#fitzier #james fitzjames #francis crozier #the terror #vampire au #my art #Fun fact among Discworld vampires the women can’t transform their clothes when turning into a bat #make of that what you will

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harveywritings92 · 1 year

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[Random magic au: Witch! Reader summons Reaper! Ghost to give a brief explanation about immortals after Soap showed up at her door panicked, Simon appears in her livingroom looking sheepish while holding a cookie.]

Ghost: I was at a party y’know

R/n: oh, sorry. We’ll be quick, I need your help.

[Ghost perks up as Soap explains a theory that a former enemy of his, Graves; who he thought was dead. May be immortal and wandering the earth after supposedly seeing him around town the night before...]

Ghost, to Soap: There’s no such thing as true immortality, for humans anyways, He’d have to be very well versed in the old magic, or have some sort of pact with a god or demon….(to R/n) May I go now?

R/n: Oh, er, yes! I hope it’s a good party.

Ghost, gives her his cookie: Hmm, I think it might go downhill at about midnight…

R/n, nibbling on said cookie: Why?

Ghost: that’s when they’ll be taking my mask off…

(He calmly lifts his mask up and there’s flash of lighting showing Simon’s true skeletal face under the glamor spell he’s wearing, R/n nods and snaps her fingers teleporting Ghost away.)

====================

{R/n and Ghost have such a pact, Apparently contracting with a god or demon has both it’s perks and consequences. While under the god of death’s protection they’re essentially un-killable and can use high leveled magic. The down side? If she gets hurt severely then the pain from said injury is much worst than average. Let’s say that R/n broke her legs? Well good news! It’ll heal almost instantly, Bad news? Every step she takes after that feels like the bones in her legs are breaking all over again. So, yeah.. She needs to be very careful when out doing jobs. ]

#S: discworld #call of duty modern warfare incorrect quotes #call of duty modern warfare 2022 #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #cod mw ghost #john soap mactavish #platonic! Soap MacTavish #soap x reader #phillip graves #magic au

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nevertheless-moving · 3 months

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“Shit,” Lu Ze swore. History monks were not, generally, given to vulgarity. But, given the circumstances, it was more or less the only appropriate response.

Lu Ze swore again, more creatively this time, as the distortions around them became increasingly unsettiling.

“What happens now,” Vimes rasped, still cradling the corpse in his arms.

It is a strange thing to mourn yourself.

But he was just so small.

Carcer giggled helplessly in his restraints. “Should be interesting, huh.”

“Oh, be quiet, you vile man. Do you have any idea how much trouble you’ve caused?” Another monk snapped.

“Nope,” Carcer said, with an obnoxious popping of his lips. “But I’ve got a few guesses.”

“THIS IS ALL WRONG,” Death said.

“Yes, we know,” Lu Ze sighed, rubbing his brow. Reality splintered further, the surrounding troops, which before appeared distorted as if by mist, now simply appeared distorted. Vimes’ stomach twisted in empathy and revulsion.

“I LOATHE TIME TRAVEL” Death said, approaching the Sam Vimeses. The older, living one scowled defiantly, pulling the small corpse away.

“There’s no time for that,” Lu Ze said sadly.

“HE IS DONE,” Death agreed. “REALITY CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH.”

He turned empty eye sockets towards the monks, as if to glare judgmentally. “PARTICULARLY WHEN IT HAS ALREADY BEEN TWISTED UP LIKE THIS,”

Vimes shuddered as the reaper swung his scythe, passing through his younger self without slowing down. A terrible chill fell down his spine, but the vague unsettling form to the world around them settled into a more familiar pattern. Cracks still ran through the length and breath of the sky, ground, and people.

“FIX THIS,” Death commanded the monks. “BEFORE THE AUDITORS GET INVOLVED.”

“Right,” Lu Ze steeled himself.

He took a slow, oversteady breath. “Alright people, get ready—we’re —we’re going to make another trouser leg.”

"Now?? Here?"

“We’re not prepared.”

“ARE YOU MAD?”

“What about—”

“It’s too big a change—”

“Just do it!” he snapped. “Unless anyone has any better ideas!”

A moment of crystalized hesitation, then the monks got to work, spinning glittering devices and furrowing their brow in concentration.

“I’m sorry,” VImes whispered, shame-faced, “I tried—”

“It’s not your fault. And it doesn’t matter anymore,” Lu Ze said brusquely. “Now hold still— this is going to hurt. A lot.” He reached a hand forward, then paused.

“Sorry about this,” he whispered. “But sometimes we are called to live through things we would rather not. And sometimes... we are called again." He tapped the center of the blood soaked Commander’s forehand.

“Wha—AAARRGH

from this au

#sam vimes #Discworld #my au #Nightwatch AU #discworld au #When Vimes woke up his...younger corpse was gone as was Carcer.#The splinters in reality were concentrated in one section of sky.#It was...uncomfortable to look at but a slight relief over the sight of dying men being bisecting by a dying reality #Gotta focus more on the unwilling romance protaganist part of this au because the start is a straight up eldritch tragedy #Actually the romance protaganist part is also kindof tragic but in a slightly funny way #The start is just. Sad.

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