#i have more somewhere aging like cheese in the back of my mind

[nevertheless-moving]

unable to stop dwelling on the discworld trouser leg of time where, in the penultimate fight scene in Nightwatch, Carcer manages to kill teenage Sam Vimes.

Which means that the future that Duke Vimes came from can no longer exist, which means he can’t go home. Meanwhile you’ve got a bunch of history monks with stored up temporal energy, a prepared space outside of time, and the need to do some desperate damage control before the Auditors get involved. Death shows up, reality is unweaving, Sam is reading Carcer his discworld miranda rights because what else is he supposed to do.

and finally, with little other option, the monks de-age Sam so he fits the time period and send him back out into the fray.

(they didn't call it deageing of course. His memory is hazy, splintered during that terrible in between moment, They....took the time out of him? Sanded away the edges of his self for a terrible, workable fit? It...wasn't a good feeling.)

Just—damn. Sam Vimes having to live his whole crapsack life over again, but this time as his disillusioned-reillusioned, unwillingly-character-developed, noir-epic, Duke of Ankh, Commander Sir Samuel Vimes self. 

Younger (Older? He's never felt so Old, His steps so Childlike, reality twisting in his gut like one of Dibbler's pies) Sam Vimes walking around in a haze after the revolution. Desperate to go home, knowing he can’t. Wanting to drink. Knowing he can’t.

The whole precinct feels pity, he really took Keel’s death hard, hardly speaks except to do his job. Eventually he has to grit his teeth and start being present, because what else is there to do?

Resists the urge to drink until Colon takes the whole watch out to celebrate because -he’s going to be a father!

Come on Sammy, one drink won’t kill you— and after the first drink he’s cracking jokes and after the second hes smiling and after the third hes honestly the life of the party and sometime after that he’s crying about how he was going to be a father and my wife would be ashamed if she saw me drinking like this and— 

Oh shit, Did anyone else know he had a wife?? A PREGNANT wife??? What—aren’t you like 12—no you're 17 now aren't you but when did—

You guys n’ver met ’er—oh gods none if you ev’n know ‘er, is jus’ me...

What—when did you lose—

I lost her the same damn day I los’ ev’rythin else, whadya think...bleeding Carcer...the fuckin revolution...

So! That! Sam only vaguely remembers the night, but rumors travel faster than light on the disc, so by the next day the whole damn city knows about poor Sam brung low by the loss of his poor, tragic, pregnant wife, so young to be a widower, and the Seamstresses nod because they already knew, don’t ask them how, somethings you just have to know in that trade.

And his mother—I don’t know, sue me, I’m a time travel fiend but there’s something deeply intriguing about a man meeting his dead parent, who is somewhat younger than him, and stepping into the old relationship like a badly fitting thing that's supposed to fit well. She would know, right? How would she deal with her son’s impossible grief? Maybe she wouldn’t know—he spent most of the time out of the house, running with different street gangs, maybe he avoids her until she dies and lives with the guilt twice over. God, we don’t even know her name. There’s just so much narrative and emotional potential that I don’t even know where to start.

When he’s on duty, which is most time - it’s agonizing because at first he remembers cases, saves lives that would have been lost. But the more time passes, the hazier his memory because in the original timeline he was becoming an alcoholic. Fuck! A kid dies and he could have saved her if he hadn’t been such a drunk, if he had just remembered where the asshole lived, but it’s all a haze, and he wants to drown out his guilt, but that’s what caused this in the first place.

Good young Sammy, who spends his rare off-time in dusty libraries (and yes, the irony that he’s apparently Carrot now is not lost on him) reading gods-only-know.

It’s not like he can ask the wizards for help, cutthroat and vicious as they are now in the not-so-distant-past.

Good young Sam, who...talks to the Broken Drum’s pet Bouncer like he’s a real person and not a dumb rock? That’s a bit weird, but he’s a bit of a funny guy.

Good old Sam, who believed the testimony of the dwarf who said the humans were trying to rob him and let the dwarf go??

the PROBLEMS this man would cause, good grief. Can you imagine a moderately progressive middle aged man with some degree of begrudging diversity and equity training that he did, for all his sins, pay attention to, suddenly going back to like, 1990, going back just 30 years, and going...oh damn this is kind of fucked up, no man you can’t say that, holy shit.

Except Sam’s lived through even more rapidly shifting social moroes! There’s no seamstress guild, there’s no women allowed inside the university, there’s no black ribboner’s society. People hunted trolls for their teeth! But Sam can’t just unlearn everything, and he can’t shut up, and he has no real luck and anyway he would absolutely get himself (temporarily) fired.

FUCK. Sam has no idea what to do with that. None. Zero clue. Wanders around in a haze until that dwarf he saved from police brutality finds him and insists on repaying the debt. No, he insists, do you have any idea what debt means to a dwarf?

“Sort-of?” he replies hesitantly, and that honest admission of incomplete knowledge shows a hell of a lot more respect and understanding than any self proclaimed dwarf-expert ever did.

Gets a job as a surface man, hauling rocks into the city. It’s backbreaking work, but, in true Discworld fashion, it’s also one hell of a workout (again the irony of being Carrot is not lost him. he freezes for a minute while hauling a rock cart, when he remembers he's technically Lost Nobility too, in a strict sense, but someone curses at him in the street and he's comfortingly grounded)

And here is where this au slides into a SPECTACULAR romantic comedy, BEAR WITH ME. Because in his time on the Watch he’s already done noir, action adventure, war story, detective who dunnit, psychological horror, but guards guards only allowed him to be a romance protagonist in an extremely limited context.

Give me righteous, twenty-something-looking, can’t-say-he-doesn’t-have-style, young Sam Vimes, not an alcoholic,  being fed three square meals a day by his dwarven forced found family, hauling rocks. He is startled to find him bumping his head on a low hanging bar that he doesn’t think used to be there, eventually realizing that he’s an inch or two taller than he remembers. Huh. Guess all that bearhuggers really did stunt his growth.

Still doesn’t get what some of the looks from women he’s getting are about, sure, he’s dirty but so is everyone else. Fine, he took his shirt off, but it’s hot out, there’s far wrinklier than him hauling heavy loads, get a life. 

Happens to glance in the Ankh one day when it’s particularly slow and shiny and is startled to realize that he might be turning heads for a different reason. Oh. Right, not that he was ever a heartbreaker, but he did alright for himself... when he was a younger and his face hadn’t been broken so many times. Which...it isn't now.

Is mildly disturbed by the revelation.

Especially once things blow over at the precinct and what with high mortality rates, he ends up with getting hired again. The boys are delighted to have him back, nevermind that he’s an odd one, noone is ever quite in your corner like Vimsey, absence makes the heart fonder, no one else works that hard, and he’s not even competition for promotion. All around great guy, we should set him up with somebody and just, no.

It just keeps getting worse! He’s literate! He’s a feminist! He believes abuse victims! He’s got a tragic backstory! He’s unreasonably good in a fistfight! He’s kind to animals! Word gets around that there’s a good man on the watch and he’s just waiting for a good woman to come snap him up. The widower excuse doesn’t hold people off completely, and for some it’s its own sort-of appeal. 

Things REALLY become stressful after he rescues that carriage full of noblewoman.

What’s he supposed to do? Let them get robbed? Or worse? Chasing down and beating up 10 goons is as easy as beating up one, when they’re that stupid, getting separated like that, drunk and distracted, and he knows these streets better than anyone, really it’s nothing. And oh lord he’s Modest too.

I mean, they were genuinely greatful, as genuine as people like that are capable of being, the skill having grown rusty. And then there is something...magnetic about the man. An air of command.

So, soon enough you get Lady Marigold of Marigrave calling on Treckle Road for that gallant young officer who rescued them, she really needs to thank him. And Viscountess Elanor Thitzferal specifically requesting that he guard her at her next soiree. And Baroness Julieta van Shoeholten insisting that he come to her home while her husband’s away, for... manly protection.

Aaaah just zero sympathy from the guys. None. 'It’s become a competition, they’re just trying to see who can get me into bed first, it’s like I’m a piece of meat, you can’t send me sir, the Marquess greeted me in a nightee last time you made me go to—' and 'small gods Vimes are you even listening to yourself, shut the hell up'.

Simultaneous to this, (again this is several years into the timeline) swamp dragon accessories come into style. Which means abandoned swamp dragons scrounging on the street. Vimes takes one back to his apartment, blows his paycheck on dragon medicine, and eventually, heart in his chest, brings it to the Ramkin estate. The sunshine orphanage doesn’t even exist yet and he’s just standing outside the gates like an idiot, what is he thinking. Turns around, but her carriage is pulling up and—

well. they meet. it's cute. he's never felt so young. he's never felt so old, too old for her, too poor—

and certainly her thoughts linger too long on the awkward, kindly, handsome young commoner, but is it any wonder she doesn't quite connect it to the stern, dangerous, sexy young guard the ladies seem to be in some quiet, cuthroat competition over?

i have this gorgeous, absurd scene in my head in which Vimes is strong armed into standing guard at some high society soiree and one of the pushiest ladies insists he dance with here, or, if he prefers, if he's not confident about his skills, he can dance with her in-private at her home and he’s like [grinding teeth, looking for a way out, seeinf one] “I would be honored to dance with you.”

Steps right into some ultra-complex dance with multiple partner swaps (she never thought he'd pick this one, devilishly intimidating to one not strictly trained, and you barely spend anytime with your first partner).

But he does alright. Better than alright, for a common man, sometimes misstepping but his hands and feet always end up where they need to be. Raises several eyebrows part way into the song because he's throuwing in some slightly scandalous, no innovative, extra lifts and twirls that wouldn't become fashionable for another decade or two. Who even is that guy? Some out of towner? No, no he's in a guards uniform...how very strange.

Gets to Sybll and she's used to embarrassment during these dances, she tries to get out of them when she can... but can't always. Men awkwardly skipping the lifts, or worse, trying and failing. But him — oh it's him, the one who helped little Erold, and looked at her like—like—well like she was someone beautiful. And he's doing it again, and he's strong and there's a quiet moment where she's in the air, they lock eyes, and the rest of the room melts away.

And then the partners change again, the moment ended.

Just...living throught it all again. To the left, a dance he almost knows the steps to, throwing others off balance with erratic moves , honest mistakes, and delibrate stepping on toes. Improvising. Ruining. Improving. Getting far, far too much attention.

Hes almost excited when the first assassains start coming after him. It's like a hobby.

Everyone tells him he should get a hobby.

Interactions with young vetinari...I don't have the energy to write it all down, the slow circling in on each other, both burning with the need to fix the city, save it, their city.

needless to say he ends up fired again, life under real threat after offending some high lord.

Conveniently enough he has an employment opportunity- bodyguard to fucking Vetinari on his 'grand sneer.' The bastard knows vimes isn't what he seems, though sam is pretty sure that he doesnt know the exacts.

Vetinari hypothesis:(the ghost of keel? Keels son, with some hereditary curse? Or a larger spirit of justice possessing a string of unrelated souls? He knows things he shouldn't- mind reader? Fortune teller? Havelock once arranged for a wizard to bump into him on the street, the magical fool gave an odd double look and then muttered something about destiny looping in on itself giving him a headache. Destiny? Lost noble? And hes far too familiar with sybyl, one of the few bearable noblewomen in this city. And his thoughts on guilds, when havelock can trip him into speaking... Most of all, if hes reading him at all correctly (for all the mystery hes not that hard to read, unless thats a very clever cover) then it seems that behind those dark haunted eyes is Respect. Loyalty. For vetinari. What an interesting man. A puzzling asset. An intriguing threat. )

Did I mention the timeline is changing, healing slowly around the place where it was torn? Healing enough around scars to perhaps get some flexibility back, with some painful stretches and...massaging of said scar tissue?

And hes heading to unresting uberwald, a place where a werewolf pack still hunts humans and, truely unrelated but perhaps equally exhausting, an eldritch spirit of vengeance just might be looking to stretch its legs in a hapless vessel?

Opening drabble Vimes Vetinari Meta (Unwell)

#discworld #sam vimes #discworld au #nightwatch au #i literally drafted this post in December 2021 #and i know it was living in my head for years already at that point #i have more somewhere aging like cheese in the back of my mind #discworld fanfic #night watch #Let this be free from my mind #Perhaps someone else will write it #BE FREE ANCIENT AU OF MY SOUL #For all my obsession with discworld I have but this one (1) AU though it tears at me like the seam of a pair of pants #The songs I have permanently associated with this au are slightly bonkers by the way #My au #Seriously there's like two full novels worth of content up here. Sybyll running away from home and living as a commoner #To mirror Sam joining upper class in original timeline you see? #Some early discworld murder Wizard nonsense when they try to poke at the temporal anomaly and the universe goes brrrr #Eventually catching up with color of Magic city burning bs and vimes is mad as fuck #Weird year that never was protecting people during sourcery #And when we start catching up with where he left #Oh ho ho you can't to forward to something that doesn't exist but maybe you can go sideways to a place that's got a tear in it #A sam vimes shaped tear #And his pregnant wife from 30 years ago in the other trouser leg #AND that's not even mentioning how carcers trial got taken to a...higher court

[intotheseas]

But like. Ominis and Seb meeting MC's parents for the first time? Hear me out. Seb has nowhere to go for the summer months after the *ahem* incident in the catacomb. So MC offers both Ominis and sebby boi to stay with her for the summer. (Her parents are weird like she is)

Soooo I actually have almost this exact scene coming in a couple chapters in my fic "The Softest Magic", except without the incident and Vera only has her mother, who is the epitome of uber-caring trollmom lol. But I also want to explore how it might have been if Vera's father was alive, mess with some story points, and play around with present tense too, so here you go! Hope you don't mind that I wrote it with my MC and most of all I hope you like it! Please keep in mind I am new to writing so it definitely won't be perfect ahh and I may have run with the prompt a bit lot :) Read here on AO3 or below the break. 3,817 words.

Features: aged up characters (characters are 17), love triangle, but it's not a bad thing, they're just dancing around it trying to figure it out, hurt/comfort, healing, supportive parents doing what they do best, good parents, fluff, some liberties taken with canon (basically made Solomon an absolute arse), forgiveness.

Contains mentions of murder, violence/abuse, HL spoilers, implied teenage romance, small bit of underage drinking, cheese. Not beta read or proofread super thoroughly.

She’s sitting with him in the Room of Requirement, her thumb rubbing circles over the back of his hand. Sunlight beats down on them and it’s almost uncomfortable, too exposing. He’s bared his soul to her - both the brightest and darkest corners, and it’s taking Vera some effort to average the two. She keeps her eyes trained on his hand, not sure how to look him in the eye when he’s crying. Like it’s a little too much, like it’s a boundary they haven’t made the decision to cross yet. 

Which is pretty weird, she thinks, since she saw him kill his uncle just a few weeks ago. Since they’ve shared countless nights together with Ominis, slumped over books, demolishing poachers, falling asleep on this very sofa. The thought shakes her from her weird paralysis and she thinks, fuck it, he needs help. He needs love. 

“Come home with me this summer,” she says. “You and Ominis.” Vera meets his eyes, dead serious. “You need somewhere to go and my parents will be overenthusiastic hosts.” 

He gives her a look, like he thinks this is a trick. He gives her that look a lot lately, ever since…well, ever since the catacombs. Like he thinks he doesn’t deserve anything nice coming his way. Vera gets it, too. You don’t murder a family member, even in self-defence, and come out without some serious issues. 

It’s evident in the way he folds into himself, like a child who’s been yelled at by his father. Vera wonders briefly, how often did Solomon yell at him like that? How often did he hit him? She knows Solomon fought to kill in the catacombs. It was either them or him. 

His voice is quiet, meek. So unlike the brash and charming Sebastian she’s come to know and love over the past year. “You mean it?” 

Vera pulls him into a hug. “What else would I do? Leave you both in that cottage without Anne? Ridiculous. You and Ominis can come back with me. My parents will love you.” She feels him stiffen in her arms. “And no, I won’t tell them what happened. That parts up to you.” 

The wall behind them grates and shifts as Ominis crosses the door’s threshold. “I thought I might find you two here,” he says. His voice is soft, tentative, like he isn’t sure how to say the words, or if he should say them at all. 

Vera releases Sebastian from her grasp and gets up, pulls Ominis close. Sebastian’s situation, from the Scriptorium to the catacombs, has traumatised him, too. His best friend, maybe more than that, slipping into the Dark Arts despite his most fervent warnings, careening down the road to hell paved entirely with obsession and good intentions. Despite all his apprehensions, he’s remained loyal to Sebastian until the bitter end. Vera loves Ominis for it. She loves them both.

“Hey Omi,” she says. “I was just telling Seb this, but come home with me this summer. Both of you. My parents are going to love you.” Ominis holds on to her like a life raft, like she’s the one thing keeping him afloat in the maelstrom of fucked-up their lives have become. 

“You…you’re certain your parents would welcome two extra students?” 

Vera laughs, despite the weird atmosphere. “I’m positive. They always wanted more kids, but Mum couldn’t. They’ll be thrilled to have you.” She leads Ominis to the sofa where Sebastian is still curled into himself, like an old piece of parchment. “I won't force you, but…if you both want to, I can send them an owl right now. What do you think?” 

Ominis sits beside Sebastian, loops his arm around his back. “Sebastian? What do you think? I don’t particularly fancy the idea of spending the summer in Feldcroft…it’s too close to…everything. And my family isn’t even worth considering as an option.” Sebastian leans his head against his shoulder. 

“If Vera thinks her parents won’t care…if I won’t be an imposition-” 

“You won’t,” Vera insists.

“...then okay. It’s not like I have anywhere else to go. You’re right, Ominis, the cottage isn’t an option. I don’t think I could bear being so close to…and if Anne comes back and doesn’t want to see me…” He hangs his head even lower, buries it in his hands. Ominis holds him, runs his fingers through his hair. 

Vera walks over to the table in the middle of the room, scratches down a note. 

Mum and Dad, 

Mind if I bring two of my friends home for the summer? I’ve told you about them, Ominis and Sebastian? They’ve…had a rough year. We all have. I’m giving them all the care I can, but I think some hospitality done Bell style would do them good. 

Love you and miss you lots, let me know, 

Vera

An owl comes in through the open window, hops over to her. She affixes the letter to its leg and sends it off with a few pats. 

She walks over to the sofa and drapes her arms over her two closest friends. Kisses the tops of their heads with all the tenderness she can muster. “I sent them an owl. I’m sure they’ll say yes. In the meantime…I know none of us are okay, but we have O.W.Ls in a month. We need to focus, and you both need to get your mind off of this.” She summons several books and rolls of parchment to the table in front of them. 

They groan slightly, but pull books to their laps, their quiet murmurs filling the air. It’s a step, Vera thinks. On a very long staircase. But it’s a step. 

Two days later, the Bell’s family owl, Button, swoops in through the Room of Requirement’s window, crash landing into the pile of books and parchment littering the table. He’s small and spotted, and terribly uncoordinated. Perfect in his imperfectness, as Vera’s mom likes to say. He hops excitedly on one foot, waits for Vera to untie the letter tied to his leg. 

Vera, 

Of course we don’t mind. Tell them they’re coming home. We can’t wait to meet them.

We love and miss you, too. Good luck with O.W.Ls! Can’t wait to see you!

Mum and Dad

“Well, it’s official,” Vera announces. “You two are coming home with me in a month. My parents say they can’t wait to meet you both.” The first genuine smile she’s seen in weeks graces Sebastian’s face. Ominis shoulders slump, his expression relieved, and her heart feels a little lighter. This is closer to how it was before. It’ll never be normal again, she knows, but they’ll find a new normal. 

A month passes, and day by day, step by step, they find their way toward something resembling peace. The relentless studying helps, takes their mind off of the existential horror of death and loss and replaces it with the existential horror of their futures. A better direction to look in, Vera thinks. 

Their O.W.Ls pass without incident. Vera knows she’s done terribly in History of Magic, but failing that O.W.L is basically a rite of passage for every fifth-year, anyway. They’re all exhausted for a different reason now, a reason that feels earned. Like their naps on the plush sofa in the Room of Requirement are borne out of hard work, not a desire to escape consciousness. 

And all too soon, they’re met with the scarlet train that will take them home. “Home,” Vera reminds them. “You’re coming home.” The train ride is both reflective and jumpy, an anxious energy buzzing all over the compartment. Flashes of blue skies and green fields fly by their field of vision as the train picks up speed and takes them away. Away from where it happened, away from all the daily reminders. And maybe she’s imagining it, but every metre they travel, the load feels a little less horrifying. It’ll never be gone, not completely, but like water smoothing a stone, time makes everything feel lighter. 

Sebastian’s all nerves, drumming his fingers restlessly on his leg. Vera can see the thoughts racing behind his eyes, already knows what he’s thinking. He wonders if he deserves this, if he’ll fuck this up, too. Thinks he might dare to hope a little. 

Ominis is a pool of outward calm, like usual. Vera knows better, of course. Knows he’s concerned about Sebastian, concerned about making a good first impression on her parents. 

She’s nervous, too. Nervous about the unspoken bonds between them all. She loves them both, probably as more than friends. 

No, definitely as more than friends. She thinks they might feel the same way about her, but she thinks they feel that way about each other, too, and probably have for a long time. The entire year has been a nervous yet comforting dance, the steps marked by stolen glances, lingering touches, chaste kisses on the cheek, fingers interlaced, and too many “accidental” nights spent curled around each other in front of the fire to be accidental. Vera supposes it doesn’t need to be figured out right away, as long as they’re all content. 

The smog and odour of London is overpowering as they step off the train and through Platform 9 ¾’s barrier. They’ve decided to floo straight home - no need to make her parents come all the way out here to collect them. A coffee shop nearby provides some sanctuary from the sensory overload, a cheery witch levitating several pots of coffee and tea waves to them over her shoulder as they duck in. “Back from Hogwarts, darlings? Floo point’s in the corner. You enjoy your vacations now!” 

They wave back in thanks and cross over to the crackling fireplace. Vera’s voice rings out clearly. “Bell Residence, London!” 

The vertigo-inducing, oddly squeezing sensation of floo travel is something Vera still hasn’t grown accustomed to, and she’s a little dizzy as they stumble into her kitchen. The pale yellows of the wallpaper and tablecloth deepen in the warm glow of the sun through the window. Her parents look up expectantly, happily. 

Ava, her mother, still in her lime-green Healer robes, immediately stands and gathers them all into a surprisingly crushing hug. Her blonde hair’s in its usual bun and freckles dot across her face like stars as her eyes crinkle into an enormous smile. “Welcome home, loves,” she murmurs. “I’m so happy you’re all here. I’m Ava, and this,” she points over to the man at the table, “is Riley.” 

Riley rises from the table, taller than all of them. Vera peeks to the side at Ominis and Sebastian, sees them shrink back slightly and almost giggles. Her father looks imposing, but he’s even more of a dear than Ava. His ruddy cheeks emphasise his genuine smile, and his curly tawny hair falls in every direction. Vera hugs him tightly, and Riley grabs Sebastian and Ominis, brings them into the fold. “Welcome home,” he says. “All of you.” 

Ava nearly dances around them, levitates their luggage with her wand and leads them down a long hallway toward another sun-soaked room. There are two guest beds set up, plush and feathery, with deep emerald green duvets resting on top. Vera’s bed rests to the left, her duvet a cheery yellow. “Afraid we don’t have a guest room, but this’ll do, right?” She winks, and her eyes dance with mischief. “I’m sure you’re all exhausted from the trip. Why don’t you all rest in here while Riley and I make dinner?” She steps lightly out of the room, closing the door behind her. 

Vera sits on her bed, sinking into the thick duvet. “Well,” she says. “Those are my parents.” I promise Dad is a lot less imposing than he seems. He and Mom are really playful people. It’s just kind of how they show their love.” 

Sebastian and Ominis sit, flanking her, their faces contemplative. They flop backwards, their hands finding each other by habit, fingers interlocking. 

“I don’t know if I deserve this kindness,” Sebastian admits. His brow furrows as he gazes at the ceiling. Ominis leans his head against Vera’s shoulder, reaches with his other hand to place it atop Sebastian’s. 

“Maybe it isn’t about deserving it,” Vera murmurs. “I mean, it’s happening anyway. The kindness. Trust me, my parents are going to treat you like you’re their own. And Mum has an uncanny sense with these things…you don’t have to tell her anything you don’t want to, but I think you’ll find she’s a lot more understanding than you’d think.” 

Sebastian chews on her words, considers them slowly and thoughtfully. “It’s just…I feel like I’ve put enough bad into the world. Why should I accept any goodness?”

Ominis moves his hand to Sebastian’s shoulder and squeezes. “Because people are giving it to you,” he says. His tone is matter-of-fact. “It’s up to you whether you accept it. But if you’re asking me…I think you deserve some kindness.” 

They stay like this for a while, thinking and reflecting. The air between them seems both impossibly vast yet precarious, like a single action could change everything. Eventually they doze, their proximity comforting each other.

Ava’s knuckles rap against the door. “Dinner!” she calls out. The three spring up, their reverie over. 

Riley and Ava are at the table when they arrive. There are thick slices of bread Vera knows her mother baked this morning, topped with generous dollops of butter. Slices of cheddar cheese are nestled beside it, and bits of roasted meat and mashed potatoes send mouth-watering smells into the kitchen. 

Her parents smile, tell them to sit down. The food is immaculate, and Vera senses both Sebastian and Ominis feeling more at ease with the lively chatter Ave and Riley curate. They talk about O.W.Ls, their Hogwarts houses, potential future careers, and all the gossip that Ava and Riley hear around St Mungos and the Ministry. The atmosphere is warm and familiar, and it isn’t long until the family’s pet kneazles are begging for scraps at their feet. 

They end the night with a game of wizards chess, Riley insists he play with Sebastian. It’s a close game, but Riley booms with laughter when Sebastian finally checkmates him, the little chess pieces crumbling into bits and reassembling shortly after. “Seems like our daughter found a smart one,” he says approvingly. His eyes twinkle in that fatherly way, and it’s all for Sebastian. 

Meanwhile, Ava, Ominis, and Vera indulge in a spirited discussion about healing magic. Ominis is ardently interested, shares his plans to become a Healer himself. Ava is over the moon hearing this, leans forward eagerly, wants to know everything Ominis thinks. Her attention’s all for him, like she knows he never had a mother to dote over him like he should have. She probably does know, Vera thinks. She just knows things sometimes, in her perceptive way. And Ominis soaks it up. 

Ava and Riley retire to their bedroom shortly after. “Have fun tonight. Just don’t burn the flat down,” they wink. They crawl into bed together, a bubble of silence hanging between them before Ava pops it gleefully. “So, which one do you think fancies Vera?” 

Riley hums. “Sebastian, maybe? But it’s hard to tell. They might both fancy her.” His face is thoughtful. “I hope it won’t end in heartbreak for them.” 

Ava glances at him, surprised. “You think so? I think they all have a thing going. Sebastian and Ominis, too. They’re such a tight-knit little group.” She gazes at the ceiling, a smile dancing along her lips. “Well, as long as they’re happy. That’s all that matters to me. Times are certainly changing.” Riley murmurs in agreement, pulls his wife close. 

“You’re right. As long as they’re happy. I’m sure they’ll figure it out.” 

At the opposite end of the flat, Vera, Sebastian, and Ominis lay in their separate beds. Awkwardness hangs like a fog above them. No one’s sure how to dispel it. 

“This is odd, right?” Ominis’ voice is quiet, a little unsure. 

“No, it’s definitely weird,” Sebastian answers. “Vera?” 

“Oh thank Merlin,” she sighs. “I thought you two were going to stay quiet all night. “Get over here, please.” 

Sebastian and Ominis crawl under her duvet, and the three curl around each other like cats. Sleep takes them quickly. 

The next morning, Ava and Riley peek in, and Ava lightly punches Riley’s shoulder as they quietly close the door. “I told you so!” she whispers, a wide grin overtaking her face. 

Two months pass in a flash, and Ava and Riley lavish Ominis and Sebastian with affection every chance they get. Ava knows, of course, they’ve all been through something traumatic together, in that way that mothers often know. But she isn’t one to pry. Just to love. 

And as this time passes, Sebastian and Ominis feel themselves heal, bit by bit. The wounds scab over, and the horrors of the previous year begin to feel more like bad memories, and less like recurring hellscapes. The pain dulls, and the hole ripped in their lives by the events in the catacombs is lined with wonderful memories, the edges becoming smoother, easier to bear. 

They’re sitting at the table one night, lulled into comfortable camaraderie by copious amounts of butterbeer and firewhiskey. They finish their third game of wizards chess and a companionable silence settles over them. Sebastian’s eyes dart from Riley to Ava, then to Ominis and Vera. He takes their hands beneath the table and they squeeze back reassuringly. 

“Ava, Riley…can I confess something?” 

They nod, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. “Anything, love,” Ava reassures. 

“My uncle died near the end of term. Just before O.W.Ls. Um..it was just me and my twin sister with him. Our parents died when we were kids. Uncle Solomon was…he wasn’t good to us. I mean, I guess he was okay to Anne…she reminded him of our mother. His sister. But he hated our father, and I take after him. He…well, we didn’t get along. There were times when he hit me, and there were times when I hit him back in self-defence. I…my twin was cursed, and I was desperate to find a cure for her, even when Solomon forbade me from doing so.” 

Ava straightens in her chair, realisation dawning in her eyes. “Anne Sallow?” she asks. 

Sebastian’s eyes widen. “Yes.” 

“I remember her. We tried everything we could…it was difficult, seeing her like that. I would have liked for her to stay longer, but your uncle, he seemed determined to take care of her himself. Took her home against our advice.” 

Sebastian’s eyes are glued to the wood grain of the table. “That doesn’t surprise me,” he says quietly. “I was so desperate to find a cure for her I went down some paths I shouldn’t have. And it made him angry. But…I couldn’t stop. Vera and Ominis tried to tell me the whole time I was going too far, but…I ignored them. I wasn’t always a good friend to them. But I needed to save her. She’s all I had left.” 

Ominis and Vera scoot closer to Sebastian, wrap their arms around him. “We forgave you a long time ago,” Vera murmurs. Ominis nods. 

Sebastian’s voice breaks as he continues, a hint of the terrified boy he was at the end of term creeping back in. “I did something I really shouldn’t have. I trifled with Dark Magic, with a relic I found mentioned in a spell book. I really thought it would cure Anne. And that was too much for Solomon. He attacked us, me, Vera, and Ominis. At first, I thought he was just trying to stop me from using the relic, but after he destroyed it, he continued attacking us. I…” His voice breaks again, and tears stream down his face. “I think he was going to kill me. And maybe even Vera and Ominis. He kept hurling fire at us and…and,” his voice dropped to a whisper, “I killed him. It was either him, or me, Vera and Ominis. I chose us.” 

He stares down at the table, not daring to look up. 

Ava and Riley stare at each other, horror covering their faces. Vera observes them closely. She can see it isn’t horror at Sebastian, but his situation. The choices a young man felt he had to make. The path he went too far down. The tragic conclusion. 

They close the distance between them and hug him simultaneously. Sebastian cries into Ava’s shoulder, both weightless and burdened. “I’m sorry,” he sobs. “You’ve just been so nice to me and I…I regret it so much! I don’t know what I should have done instead. And now Anne is gone, and I don’t know where she is.” 

Ava kneels down, meets his eyes. “Sebastian…this was too much for you to deal with alone. I’m sorry…I’m sorry you went through all this. Your sister, your uncle, your parents…no, it wasn’t the right idea to get involved in the Dark Arts, but I can understand why you felt you had to.” 

He shivers in her arms. “I’ll never touch them again,” he sniffles. 

“I know,” Ava soothes. “I know.” She looks at Riley. They communicate silently. 

“You’re forgiven,” Riley murmurs. “And you’re always welcome here. That extends to you too, Ominis.” 

Vera’s parents lean back and look at Sebastian. “And we won’t tell anyone,” Ava says. “In the wrong hands, this information could really get you in trouble, even though it was self-defence.”

Riley nods. “I’m sorry people weren’t there for you when they should have been.” He pats Ava’s and Ominis’ shoulders quickly. “I know my daughter and Ominis were, and I’m glad for it, but this isn’t a situation that should have fallen into the hands of teenagers.” 

Healing is slow, and never linear, Vera thinks. But maybe this is a turning point for Sebastian. Maybe the acceptance and love he needed all along can help him get back on the right path, redeem himself in his own eyes. 

A week later, Riley and Ava usher them toward the Hogwarts Express. Ava grips Sebastian and Ominis’ shoulders, her voice firm. “I expect to see you all home for Christmas and Easter, and I expect frequent letters. Okay?” 

Ominis and Sebastian nod. 

Ava continues. “And you treat each other well. And you two treat Vera well. And Vera, you treat them both well, understood?” 

They flush crimson, but nod. 

Riley and Ava hug them all, an all-encompassing embrace that feels like home. Vera hopes it feels like home for Sebastian and Ominis, too. After all, that’s what it’s become for them. Home.

#hogwarts legacy fandom #hogwarts legacy #ominis gaunt #hogwarts legacy mc #sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy ominis #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #hogwarts legacy sebastian #ominis gaunt x mc #sebastian sallow x mc #sebinis

[pisscrossiant]

Part two of my dragon age: origins headcanons because It's my current hyperfixation 😋

I'm honestly just writing these down here when I think of em

Oghren will stop doing whatever he's doing if he sees the Warden just to wave at them like a goof, he could be in the middle of fighting for his life and he stops to wave to them.

Morrigan can go MONTHS without bathing and look exactly the same as she did the last time she took a bath. She doesn't smell either she smells like roses 24/7 and no one knows how she doesn't smell after not bathing for like three months.

Leliana puts ribbons around her boots to make them prettier

Zevran tends to linger behind the party when walking somewhere just so he can stare at their asses without it being obvious.

Alistair keeps cheese in his pockets at all times, he has like three big ass cheese wheels in his tent at camp so he will take little pieces of cheese off the wheels and put them in his pocket so he has a snack later.

Wynne cooks the most out of everyone, she always takes requests from the party members so she can make them their favorite dishes for dinner so they can enjoy something during the blight.

Leliana often has auditory hallucinations and the most common one she has is of a woman screaming bloody murder, she'll jump a bit and if no one reacts to it she just carries on with what she's doing while waiting for it to stop.

Alistair has insomnia most of the time when he's "sleeping" he just lays in his bed roll and waits for sun rise, sometimes he'll talk to Zevran or Leliana if they get up before everyone else.

Zevran has Paranoia and has visual hallucinations, though they don't happen all that often, they still freak him out. He mostly see's shadow people which freaks him out alot because he thinks they could be assassins, watching him.

Oghren will pass out sometimes from his drunkenness, thankfully this doesn't happen during fights.

After Zevran got mad at the warden saying "there are other things to do besides me, go do those." The Warden gets upset and goes to sit by their tent and shale see's this and tries comforting them by saying "Would you like me to crush the painted elf" which actually does make the warden feel better.

Zevran and Leliana are polyamorous and wouldn't mind being in a poly relationship.

Leliana has a FAT crush on Morrigan, even if the warden romances her she can't help but fall for the tall lesbian.

Zevran has a crush on Sten, not in a romantic sense but more so he's attracted to him because Zev loves tall people.

Alistair is a bisexual in denial, he thinks he's straight but when he sees men without shirts on he gets all flustered.

Wynne reads 24/7 and she reads smut. Like hardcore smut. She reads it with a straight face.

Once Alistair asked what she was reading and she handed him the book to read the synopsis outloud and he became so embarrassed about it, Zevran and Morrigan made fun of him for it for weeks, he still can't see Wynne the same way again.

Elfroot is like weed, that's why it's called Elfroot because ancient elves would smoke it.

Leliana will wash and style Zevran's hair for him, during his time with the crows he didn't get to have his hair all nice and clean and styled properly so he doesn't really know how to take care of it all to well, so Leliana does it for him.

Zevran gets jealous easily believe it or not, if he sees another person flirting with the warden he gets mad and will go up to the Warden and interrupt their conversation. At first when he doesn't realize he's fallen for the Warden he keeps thinking he's stupid for it and tries to ignore it.

Leliana doesn't have a tendency to get jealous but if someone is getting too touchy with the Warden she'll just stand behind the warden glaring at them to get them to back off.

Morrigan can be very possessive of the Warden even if the warden hasn't romanced her she still will be very possessive especially if the warden is around someone she doesn't like (like Alistair)

Alistair gets jealous but doesn't show it or anything he's more tame and doesn't act on it or anything.

Morrigan is a raging lesbian she has no romantic interest for men, the only time she'd even sleep with a man would be for her to have a child. But she doesn't try to pursue any romantic relationship with women due to her pushing the people she loves away.

Oghren misses Branka before she left him but is glad to be a part from her at the same time.

Shale pets your Mabari 24/7 she loves animals especially dogs

Zevran is very weary around dogs, there were stray dogs all around Antivia City and they'd attack a lot unprovoked, he's been attacked by them numerous times so he was of course nervous when joining the warden's party seeing they had not just a dog but a wardog. Over time though he grew to actually like the dog alot however.

Leliana is a cat person, she's fine with dogs but she loves cats. But if she did have to choose between a Nug and a Cat she'd ofc choose a Nug.

Alistair is a major dog person, when he was living with the Arl he would usually hang around the kennels rather then being around people. When he says "I was raised by dogs" he wasn't actually that far off.

Morrigan doesn't like Dogs or cats, she's a bird person. She only tolerates the wardens Mabari because she knows the warden loves him.

Oghren is actually fond of dogs believe it or not, he hates cats though he says "they're stuck up"

Sten doesn't have a preference between cats or dogs however he respects dogs alot more then he respects cats.

Wynne is a cat lady, like if the tower let her she'd have like 20 cats.

Alistair has elf ears but not like how full blooded elves have, half elves have small points to their ears, they look like human ears but have a point to them instead of being rounded fully.

Leliana has a tattoo of a sun on her right shoulder.

Zevran has tattoos all over similar to the ones on his face, but he also has a tramp stamp that says " amor ''

Morrigan at first meeting her has no tattoos, I mean where would she get them living in the wilds. Once she leaves though she does get a tattoo of a raven on her left arm.

Alistair got drunk and got a tattoo of a dragon on his back, he thought it was cool at first but now that he's having to fight dragons and the arch demon he hates it.

The circle doesn't let mage's have tattoos so Wynne doesn't have any.

Sten does not have any tattoos because the Qun does not allow it, he does put markings on his body with face paint however.

Oghren has a tattoo of two beer mugs clanking together in between his shoulder blades.

That's all for now I'm most likely gonna do another part because I actually like writing these it's just nice to do when I'm not doing anything. Also the first part did pretty well and got a decent amount of attraction so definitely gonna do more 🤭

Plus I love fueling the dragon age fandom I wish there was a lot more stuff ab it 😭

#dragon age origins #dragon age: origins #dao #dragon age #zevran arainai #alistair theirin #wynne dragon age #morrigan dragon age #leliana dragon age #oghren dragon age #sten dragon age #shale Dragon Age #dao headcanons #headcanons

[law-d-water-trafalgar]

~Pineapple Slice NSFW 18+~

Y/N-General Reader! X Marco

ANGST/Pining After One Another/Food Play/Fluff/Revenge/Cheating By Rival Love Interest/Proposed to/Marriage/More FLUFF/Consensual Sex

Reader is God. Who Falls For Marco Years Later Whose In A Relationship

Summary: Y/N boards the ship 20 years ago. Y/N can’t age Y/N is god. Y/N has had a crush then fell in love with Marco during those years. Marcos started dating a woman named Annie [Name picked from a Tove Lo song from the Annie 3000] for 2 years (hes pan sexual) whenever he goes to dock at that town. Then one morning he goes to her house since Thatch and you sent a fake letter to Marco and knocks, a guy answers while she goes up to the door in shock that Marco caught her cheating. (She and Marco have only kissed) And breaks his heart. Eventually the loving god Y/N breaks down Marcos walls and their love blossoms better than any possible. Along with Thatch’s secret help. Includes proposal and marriage!!!!!! Music will be provided at the right times please listen! But all is age restricted so please look it up at the right times in the story. MINOR MISTAKES. This is 31 pages 12,500 words.

“I’m off now, see ya guys tonight” Marco says as ah walks off the Moby Dick into the rural part of town where his girlfriend waits for him. You turn to Thatch and sit on a bar stool at the cantina crossing your arms head down hidden as you tear up, he gently pats your back.

“It’ll pass Y/N...” Thatch whispers into your ear. You bang your hand on the table after a couple minutes of knowing Marco is gone then retort.

“If it’s just a phase then why hasn’t it left by now its been like 20 years I’m around 20 years too late he’ll probably marry her and settle down. He’ll at this point I’m way deep over my head Thatch. Thatch he’s forty-three now.. and I’m just the exact same…I’ll never change unless, I give up my god hood.” You sit up and presume.

[Listen To Tove Lo – No One Dies From Love On Loop]

“Gimme vodka and keep em coming ill pay out of pocket so better go into town and stock up.”

“Here come with me.” Thatch shuts down the cantina and drags you along into town.

“What you need is a drinking buddy. Now I’m no Marco where alcohol doesn’t affect him or you but I’ll listen to ya. Somewhere where we can talk privately.” Thatch says dragging your arm by his hand then plops you down in a quaint little bar. Sitting opposite of you he calls over the bartender.

“What will you two be having tonight?” The bartender asks politely.

“Give us your finest sweet wine, no make it starting around four bottles.” Thatch says as you set a big bag of berries on the table.

“Right away!” The bartender runs off to pick a selection of wines for you both.

“Ya know they could even break up, I mean you never know...” Thatch says while maintaining his frow. You just rest your chin on your elbow listening but not wanting to talk until you’ve gotten some alcohol in your belly. Eventually the bartender comes back with four of the fanciest looking bottles and two glasses. He quickly goes back to the bar table then returns with a charcuterie board. He pops the corks properly on all four bottles then says.

“This is on the house, seems like your friend will need it.” He says to Thatch as Thatch nods a silent thank you and the tender leaves. Only a lantern separating the both of you between the four bottles and the cheese, fruits, crackers and meats board. After a while of getting through two bottles.

“So now that your warmed up tell me … what’s on your mind?” Thatch asks concerned as hes the only one you go to about your love problems. With tears running down your face you let your feelings pour out.

“I really... love him not just like but love Thatch! She hasn’t been in combat or partyied or seen him wounded or him working that's like ninety percent of his life ughh fuck….. I’ve got it bad Thatch. I think I’d even die for him to live.” Thatch tries to point secretly behind you, but tears streak down your face as you jump slightly then bury your head in your arms.

“Did I catch you both at a bad time?” You heard Marco’s voice behind you then a feminine voice.

“Oh Marky~ Leave them alone their clearly on a date!” She chirps from behind you making your whole frame twitch at the nickname.

“Annie, I know them best this is Y/N the one with their head down, and this is Thatch the one across from Y/N. Their not dating with four bottles of wine trust me. Alright what happened Y/N little bird? Hello?” Marco inquires. As you stand then snap around

“Why are you so suddenly interested in my love life now big bird?! Beat it doc! Before I beat you! And you [pointing at Annie] beat it!” You yell at them then take in her features hair long to her bottom, chocolate brown, with green blue eyes, taller than you at about five feet ten inches. You about [feet] [inches].

“Whoa alright God. Well leave now. At least check in with me later.” Marco says as they inter join arms and walk past you going straight down the road with you reading their thoughts. Annie clearly confused but, you caught a glimpse of another man in her thoughts in a romantic way kissing with tongue, while Marco seems to be very very concerned about you, hes only seen you like this one other time when he got injured in battle and you drowned your sorrows for being the reason why he got injured after you healed him. That night he was worried even god would get alcohol poisoning. After they left you couldn’t hold it in anymore you started balling your eyes out hands covering your face. Thatch knew you were inconsolable right now so he just sipped on his wine. After you’ve cried out most of your tears you felt exhausted.

“That bitch acting all innocent...” Stating making Thatch raise an eyebrow clearly interested. Frowning you explain

“I know I promised not to read anyone's minds but I was too curious, so I read their minds and little miss perfect seems like she has another romantic interest. Marco doesn’t know.” Your tears still streaming down your face.

“I would never treat him like that, he’d be my national treasure!” You blabber out as Thatch nods as you both just stare at one another unsure of how to proceed. Then it hits you.

“Ugh fuck! I have to face him after that little outburst!” More tears stream down your face as Thatch seems to think deep in thought. After about five minutes of doing and saying nothing except tearing up Thatch speaks.

“You know what second division commander I think I have a solid idea for you.” You just nod looking at him with eyes that say what now.

“You could just tell him the truth but omit details of who its about since your god and can’t lie and all that. Like when I ask what was that all about you’d said…..?” He infers. You compose your self eating part of the fruits and cheese then gulping your new glass of wine down.

“I’d say…. That…. I’m in love with someone on the crew but …. they don’t know I am… and I just found out they have…. A girlfriend…on an island… far away..” Shifting uncomfortably in your seat he exclaims.

“Exactly! That’s exactly what you should do and say it broke your heart and your dear old buddy Thatch was hearing ya out. Then things should blow over. Since we have over five-hundred men on board, he wouldn’t suspect it’s him out of everyone. How about that?” Thatch asks cleverly.

“He’s gonna suspect somethings up though when I don’t tell him who it is..I mean twenty years Thatch and he’s my best friend...” Retorting Thatch’s statement. “Ah but that’s the beauty of it all, you can just say since he has a girl now he wouldn’t understand. He honestly should leave it at that. But if he pry’s more say its someone close to you and that should satisfy his curiosity. He seems to ponder for a minute before speaking.

“You think you can become invisible and silent, go to this woman's house and grab one of her letters with her handwriting on it? Just need her exact handwriting.” The cogs in your diluted mind start to spin as you stop then refer.

[Listen To Tove Lo – I like u On Loop]

“Well its nearing midnight they should have parted and she should be home by now and asleep. I’ll have to make a copy of myself then go to her house and search her house, then slowly walk with you in case we run into Marco who always burns the night’s oil. It’s driving me mad I can’t let him ruin his life with a skank two timing whore! In my vision she was kissing the other man with tongue and all! He would have to see for himself. I’m sure he won't just take my word for it.” Thatch nods then after you both polish off the wines and snacks you copy yourself into an invisible and silent version but still tangible. Second version you, fly’s over to Annie’s house. Being god and all you still follow some rules of the human realm but when it comes to love, you couldn’t be bothered right now four bottles of highly fermented wine actually made you slightly tipsy. The first version of you with Thatch are walking at a snails pace first version you is completely tangible, seen, and heard.

‘Ahh I remember secretly following Marco and her to her house about nine months ago when we ported here for him to visit.’ Secretly thinking to yourself as you follow a path towards her house. Luckily you weren’t a vampire or you couldn’t gain entry. Floating through the upstairs window on the balcony intangibly you see her and that man from the vision on the second floor.

‘Oh shit this may be harder than I think. I’m not allowed to make other things besides myself invisible and intangible. I’ll just have to search then wait- WAIT their going down stairs no, she just closed the window, but now’s my chance.’ Quietly thinking to yourself.

[First Version You With Thatch]

“What’s taking so long?” He asks under muttered breath.

“They were fucking and she closed the window I need to escape. I need a way out to get anything out like a window or the now lit fireplace …… great” You state/mutter back. Only hoping for an exit and to find what you so desperately needed to make this plan work of Thatch’s.

[Second Version You]

Flying around upstairs you look all around her desk but everything is put away except for one unwritten letter which you grab.

‘I can’t just rummage through her things or she’ll probably tell Marco someone broke in fuck’ You curse in complete silence as something catches your eye.

[First Version You]

“Were coming up to the deck now. Please tell me you have it?” Thatch whispers as you whisper back.

“I just need a way out.”

[Second Version You]

Picking up a crumpled letter not in any envelope from the garbage can next to her desk. You quickly read another fake ass love letter. This time asking him to move in with her.

‘NO! I WONT LET THIS COME TO PASS!’ Screaming silently in your head. You slowly crumple it back into a ball then float down the stairs. Hiding the letter behind the pillar.

“Whew what a fuck session its so stuffy in here!” Annie exclaims as their both naked having done the dirty deed.

“When do you think he’ll propose? I’d hate to have a kid on the way. But your plan is coming along nicely Annie. He’ll never suspect anything since were both blondes. So when you think he’ll finally fuck you so I’ll be off the hook?” The blonde haired man asks which makes your blood boil. Having to stop yourself from killing him, otherwise I’m sure she’d come up with some excuse for that too.

“All in due time I barley just became pregnant silly, but it has to be rushed since he is a doctor and all he’ll defiantly know otherwise. I plan on giving him that letter by my bird tomorrow pushing for marriage” She points on top of the fireplace where you spy the letter.

‘Great another thing I have to dispose of. What a stupid woman Marco wouldn’t just fuck anyone in all the years I’ve known him.’ The cog wheels turning in your head.

“Gosh it’s too stuffy in here let me open a window.” Annie says as she opens the window the opposite side of where you are their in between you and your exit.

“Come here babe I want to feel you up” The man says as she obeys within seconds. This was your only chance so you fly over grab the letter, as their eyes were on each other and fly out of the open window.

‘Fucking freedom from that wretch!’ Thinking as you fly back to the Moby Dick.

[First Version You]

As you and Thatch reached the cantina he opens it as you both spy Marco come down from his lit now extinguished office and walk towards you both. Once to the cantina you say,

“Hey, I’m sorry about earlier...” Marco seems understanding and waiting for a full response.

“I’m in love with someone on the ship but found out they have a girlfriend…who lives far away...” You remember vaguely what Thatch said over the wines. Marco crossed his arms and sighs a relief.

“Well no one here deserves you first off, and whose the poor smuck that has no idea a god loves them?” Marco enunciates uncrossing his arms.

“Marco it’s probably best you leave it alone and lets all have a drink instead.” Thatch interrupts Marco.

“I just don’t feel like talking anymore Marco I’ve already cried over this long enough. Besides I thought best friends were supposed to be there for one another… you weren’t there for me, but Thatch was.” Stating you gesture for Thatch to make you a strong cocktail. You spy from your perefrial Marco slightly flinches at the stinging words. Marco gestures for an ale, and Thatch pours himself a wine. After bullshitting for awhile..

“I should get back to work and you both should get to bed we have stocking still tomorrow then were leaving at night.” Marco commands as you and Thatch says simultaneously

“Yea yea First Commander Marco” You both chuckling as Marco heads away from you both, as you turn to Thatch hold up a hand low in front of you as three letters fly into your hand two written on and one empty one.

“Ahh great job Y/N...” Thatch whispers as he takes and reads both then a look of shock dawns over his features.

“Surly he wouldn't agree to this?” Thatch asks you, then you fill him in on Annie’s, and the man she’s been cheating with Marco on plans. His jaw drops as he composes himself.

“Okay here’s what were going to do… I’ll write up a letter in her handwriting telling him to come over straight thing in the morning. Which she and that man will not be expecting. And we all know Marco will go. Then well watch the chaos unfold in your god portal. As long as we don't enter the portal we’ll be fine right?” Thatch says softly as you just nod and nod.

“I can’t wait… but that means...” You whisper.

“Yea no sleep for the wicked. Were going to have to pull an all nighter in order to make this happen. We can’t shirk our duties, we need to fill out those supply lists for our divisions. I’ll meet up with you early early and give you the letter to go to her place. Use her carrier bird to send the letter to Marco so he doesn’t suspect anything.” Thatch agrees. Thatch puts the papers in his pocket then perfectly folds the empty paper and puts it into his shirt pocket hidden from view as he swiftly goes to his quarters to write up a fake letter. After all your duties are done you meet up at the cantina later in the morning, waiting for Thatch before even Marco is awake.

“Hey there Y/N. After practicing I finally have a believable letter. Now hurry before anyone wakes up.” Thatch says quietly and hands it to you. Nodding you turn invisible and silent then fly to her house and float by the still open window. Bending down you pluck a worm from the ground. You float inside upstairs to find her bird which you didn’t see yesterday. Softly opening the cage the bird looks shocked by a new smell, your smell.

‘I guess it was asleep yesterday when I came in.’ Thinking as you offer the bird the worm in your hand. Thankfully the birds food was empty and it graciously took the bait. Then it hopped onto your hand. You very gently closed it’s birdcage then went down stairs.

“Hmm hmm Cody...” You suddenly hear Annie whisper, stopping dead in your floating tracks, then turn over and wrap an arm around the man.

‘Perhaps he’s Cody? Never mind I have to get out quickly.’ So you float out of the window up to her roof then attach the letter and say

“To Marco!” As you swiftly lift the bird to go fly. You gently float down and walk briskly to town to the same bar who had serviced you last night before you were so rudely interrupted by Marco and Annie. Luckily for you you just had to wait thirty minutes for the bar to open into a cafe. Going up to the counter, some people are coming out of their houses, but only mainly old people the early risers.

“Ah my friend back for more? I’m afraid you took our best wines but we still have more.” The bartender says as you nod.

“Could I please have three bottles of your next best wines, and a big mocha almond coffee to go?” Polightly asking as he nods then heads to the back storage room and returns, then makes the coffee. You just set down a big bag of berries.

[Listen To Tove Lo – Borderline On Loop]

“Here’s a tip for not seeing me last night” You imply as he gives a wink and you take the bag. Without a word you both exchange nods then you head back to the docks to the Moby Dick. Suddenly you spy Marco come jogging down the docks.

“Whoa there whats the hurry Marco?” You ask innocently. He stops for a second and reply.

“Annie sent me a message this morning. I’ve got only now to see her before stocking then leaving the island again.”

“Ahh well good luck with that.” You retort and smile as you noticed he didn’t seem to notice that you were up all night from his rushing and walk away from town which was unusual for you since your god you can make anything appear or disappear and can control anything and everything. You both wave then go your separate ways. Hurrying to Thatch at his room you gently knock with the wine bag and coffee in hand. He opens the door as you extend the coffee towards him.

“Thanks I’m beat. Come in how far is he?” Thatch asks and sips the coffee with a hmm, you as you set up your portal of observation in Thatch’s full length mirror.

“He’s almost there lets see.” Retorting you turn the volume down enough so you and Thatch are sitting criss cross apple sauce right in front of the mirror. You both see the front slightly to the side of Annie’s front door as you and Thatch wait for Marco to get there. Both of you sipping your drinks. Finally you both turn in all the way to the scene.

“Annie!” Marco softly yells knocking on her door. Then the door opens revealing the other man in his boxers. They just stare at each other for a moment before Annie comes to the door with a blanket wrapped against her frame naked otherwise.

“Babe who is i-” She just stares in shock hands to her mouth, at Marco as you and Thatch giggle like evil geniuses. Annie does and :O face as Marco inhales sharply then exhales.

“Great! You must have planned this to get us both to look after the baby!” The man yells as Marco looks shocked.

“I got your letter. Baby? So you and this asshole and you were planning on making me marry you am I right? To think it was my own? It seems it was someone elses doing for this letter. Thank Nika for this. Annie we are over! Goodbye don’t bother talking to me don’t even look at me!” Marco slightly yells as he transforms into hybrid form and fly’s back to the Moby Dick.

“We actually did it!” You exclaim as Thatch says.

“Okay now lets hurry on out to the cantina he flies fast.” Thatch explains as you nod.

[Listen To MOTHICA – SENSITIVE On Loop]

“Just act as casual as possible.” You state as you both hurried to open the cantina. Once you sat down you both heard a whoosh as a pissed looking phoenix transformed back into his human form. He sulked over to the cantina and just says

“Brandy, double.” Marco sulks now. As Thatch was cleaning a glass for him he asks.

“Why the long face Marco did something happen?” Thatch asks as Marco just grunts then responds

“Someone sent Annie’s bird so I’d discover that she had been cheating on me….. and she’s pregnant and tried to get me to think it’d be my child. The smuck was there and she was naked. This means it has to have been someone close to me. Because barely anyone cares about her.” You and Thatch didn’t think THIS far ahead.

“That sounds kinda over the top don’t cha think Marco?” Thatch says as Marco reply's.

“I don’t know what exactly were you doing in town that early Y/N? You usually never leave the ship since you can summon anything. I mean you can make [anything] happen you are god after all.”

“Am I not allowed to leave the ship now First Commander?? I really liked the wines they had at the bar, me and Thatch went to and thought I’d get him a coffee as thanks for talking with me. And me some more wines since we’d be leaving tonight.” You retorted as Marco raises an eyebrow as you pull out the wines from the bag and Thatch sips the rest of his coffee.

“Okay what about your supply runs? I never saw either of you do anything today which is out of character for both of you.” He says while cocking your head to the side.

“Well for me I just must have woken up way earlier than you. Must be a consequence.” Thatch says as you follow with

“I just couldn’t sleep but the places I needed to stock up on were open so I did mine during the night in town, then thought I deserved to actually sleep tonight so I bought myself these nice wines. Which I will chug tonight.” Marco lowers his eyebrow and accepts defeat. You could basically almost hear Thatch give a sigh of relief but he stayed silent. Thatch picked up on a lighter mood chuckling.

“Enough of suspecting your best friends now Marco. I guess it’s a lesson learned right? Just glad to have you back. Haha”

“Yea a lesson learned alright… Another double” Marco whispers as Thatch prepares it and you gesture for a hard cocktail.

“I know your going through a tough situation but maybe take your own advice doc, and not drink on the job? Me and Y/N have already done our jobs for today.” Thatch says concerned.

“You both are well aware that alcohol doesn’t effect me.” Marco responds as he gulps down his second double shot.

“Yessss, buttt you should slow down or go to town and drink. Save some for the rest of the crew Marco. Come on I’ll pay and listen.” You say and gently pat his back. He looks broken, it pains you to see him like this.

“Come on I’ll even do your supply run. So come on.” You say cloning yourself in a visible and tangible and heard form. Your second form heading off to the medical wing to grab the supply list then to his division to complete the supplies.

“Alright Y/N I give lets go...” Marco consents and gets off the bar stool following you into town. You know exactly where to go too, that same cafe/bar.

“Ahh welcome to my cafe/bar what can I get you both?” The bartender asks with a smile.

“Ale, spirits and coffee please.” You set down a bag of berries on the table.

“Yes right away!” He scurries off to pick the best of the best. Once you have everything Marco starts chugging as do you, waiting for him to speak first.

“She seemed a good match for me...” Marco says softly as he chugs a double shot.

“Yea but you both have only seen each other less than five times in these past two years Marco… that’s not enough time to really truly know someone. For example we’ve spent twenty years together I know how you like your coffee and even how you fold your laundry, she has no clue about ninety percent of your actual life. You both might as well be strangers to be honest.” You try to explain gently. He takes a sip of coffee then a big gulp of brandy.

“You know what your making a lot of sense Y/N. I don’t even know her favorite color …. haha…...” He inhales sharply as he wheezes out a forced laugh.

“But the one I truly love doesn’t love me back...” He states sadly. Thinking who it could be you ask

“Well tell me who it is and I could help somehow?”

“You can’t help me Y/N their in love with someone else.” Marco sadly says.

“Well how do you actually know that?” You question.

“Look they told me themselves!” He shouts attracting some attention from passerbys.

“Do they even know that you like them? Look I’m your best friend of twenty years you can tell me anything.” You question further.

“No, they have no clue I love them. I thought I could find someone else to be at least generally happy with but you found out how that happened. Now I’m embarrassed.”

‘Him embarrassed why? Nothing he’s saying makes sense but I wouldn’t tell him I liked him either I evaded the questions.’ You think as he drinks coffee waiting for you to speak again.

“There’s absolutely no reason to be embarrassed Marco it could have happened to anyone of the crew in fact it has happened multiple times to some of them. But I won’t push anymore sorry. I kinda got carried away just worried about my best friend.”

“Best friend, hnhn yea” He mutters under his breath but you heard it.

“What was that big bird?” You question.

“Oh nothing” He retorts.

[One Year Later On Board The Moby Dick In The Ocean Some Where]

[Marco’s POV]

[Setting: Marco and Thatch are talking at night while Y/N’s coming back from a mission. Everyone besides some stragglers have gone to sleep.]

[Listen To Tove Lo - 2 Die 4 - Jax Jones Midnight Snacks Remix On Loop]

“So spill already! Do you want to be single forever Marco?” Thatch says currently kinda annoyed.

“Okay fine their currently on a mission. There happy?” You blush as Thatch smile widens.

“I had a gut feeling but now I know yes! Good for you buddy!” Thatch says enthusiastically.

“SHHH I don’t want anyone overhearing, and promise you wont tell them? It could destroy our friendship...” You say quietly.

“Okay okay I got chu buddy.” * winks *

“No, no winking that your gonna tell them anyways this is a command.” You emphasize.

“Okay okay geese but um I have valuable information you may want to know...” Thatch says coaxing you, but before you could ask.

[Y/N’s POV]

You fly downward to the single lit torch of the cantina of the Moby Dick and land near who you make out is Marco and Thatch.

“Hey guys! * yawn * I’m finally back from that mission. Hey Thatch be a darling and hook me up?” You ask kindly.

“Hey Marco how are you doing? Burning the midnight oil again?” You ask with a cheery smile to him as him smiles back.

“Yes the books wont write themselves Y/N.” Marco reply's. Marco suddenly makes an excuse that he needs to get back to work but you grab his wrist causing him to freeze, making him turn his head in wonder.

“Can’t you stay a little longer Thatch can be so boring you liven things up.” You ask with a cute face making Marco scratch the back of his head with his other hand and give a soft smile.

“Um … But the paperwork?” He tries to feint ignorance.

“Welll what if I help make up the lost time? Then there should be no problem right Thatch?” You corner Marco. Both you and Marco stare at Thatch as he slides you a mug and nods.

“I really should hit the sack too. Been a busy day for all of us.” Thatch says as he cleans the last glass then brakes down the cantina so it’s out of service now. Grabbing your mug you state

“Splendid now lets go onward big bird!” Holding his now hand as you walk him towards the medical wing. After ten minutes while sipping on your drink.

“How are those numbers coming along Y/N?” Marco asks in a professional manner.

“Excellent First Commander hehe” You chuckle slightly causing Marco to raise an eyebrow.

“And what’s so funny little bird?”

“Your just cute when you go into doctor mode...” You notice him blush but cover his face by raising his hand looking down at paperwork. After another two hours.

“I think I’m sleep deprived we should hit the hay Marco. You need your sleep in order to work better tomorrow. And that's an order from god.” You state as he gives a sigh.

“Your right Y/N. Lets leave this where it is I’ll finish it up tomorrow or I mean today but later.” Marco says seemingly exhausted. While he’s still sitting your gently massage his shoulders as he exhales a soft moan of pleasure.

“Are you- no you are using your powers to help me… Thank you Y/N your so kind.” He admits then says

“But if you keep doing that I’ll fall asleep where I’m sitting. So come on let’s go to sleep.” Marco stands forcing you to let go slightly frowning you turn a smile so he wouldn’t suspect anything when he turned towards you.

“Okayyyyy…… so ill be by tomorrow morning sharp to help again.” You state which causes him to raise an eyebrow.

“What we didn’t finish the paperwork and I always keep my word.” He sighs then says in defeat.

“Alright tomorrow morning sharp.” He admits.

“Whats wrong with your best friend wanting to help you out??” You gest.

“Uh nothing it’s perfectly normal. Thanks for you help tonight though you really didn’t have to help, and thanks for tomorrow too.” He says as you both exit the med bay he locks up.

“Goodnight big bird!”You exclaim.

“Haha goodnight my little bird.” He smiles as you both go across the hallway to your doors and enter getting ready then going to sleep.

[The Next Morning]

Leaning against the med bay door you spy a shocked Marco coming out of his room headed to the med bay. (Since he’s the one with the key)

“Well someone’s up early. Did you report-” You cut off Marco

“Yes sirree I already reported in and I’m ready to work too!” You hold up a peace sign. As he unlocks to med bay he mentions.

“Your mood and energy has returned over this past year it seems.” This catches you off guard as you caught full blush.

“Haha well I guess I just overall feel better.” You scratch the back of your head chuckling nervously.

“And I suppose your secretly with this love of yours now or they at least broke up?” Marco deducts. Blushing harder you just admit

“Yea they broke up so I feel better there happy?”

“Well lucky for you. Does he even know you love him?” He asks.

“Umm.. no actually I’m not sure how he feels… about me at least..I mean I know there’s pan sexual guys on the crew. We had a talk long ago about it.” You admit.

“And when did you have this talk with him?” Marco asks knowing as god you can’t lie just omit the truth.

“Um aroundddd ten or so years ago...” You admit as his eyes widen just a tad then back to normal.

‘Please just drop the subject….’ You think as he speaks

“Right…. let’s get working then.” He states somewhat quiet and lets you enter the med bay office first. You both eventually finish up and you decide to take a nap while Marco goes to the cantina.

[Marco’s POV]

You walk up to the cantina and ask Thatch for an ale.

“Soooo how was it working with Y/N?” Thatch asks in a cutesy way.

“Sushh you set that up didn’t you?” You point at him as he responds.

“Actually no our dear Y/N wanted to do that on their own. Why did something happen?”

“I asked when the guy they loved told them they were pan sexual and they said ten years ago. That’s how long ago I told them I was too. And two thirds of the crew weren’t even here for that long yet which narrows down the possibilities to….” You explain as Thatch goes ouuu face.

“Did you ever maybe think they were talking about you? Crazy …. right but the facts are all there.” Thatch explains as he chuckles at your blushing face that your trying so hard to hide.

“Give me another ale Thatch.” You ask as he slides on to you then you begin walking to your room to think.

“Hey where ya goin?!” Thatch yells.

“To think!” You yell back and sip on your ale.

[Y/N’s POV]

You awake in the late afternoon only to see a letter slid under your door. Picking it up you read

Dear Y/N,

I must confess something to you at midnight tonight.

At the back of the Moby Dick’s deck.

From,

Marco

“Holy shit is this real?” You exclaim as you are giddy now with excitement and nervousness. You put the letter in your keep sake box which is twelve by twelve by twelve inches then head out the door with a skip for dinner. You grab your mug of ale and lug of meat then sit right next to Marco in your seat. You kept your eyes straight forward as does Marco.

‘He must be nervous if he has something important to tell me later.’ You think silently in your head. Finally Thatch and Izo sit next to you both someone else to chat with. As you chat with Izo, Marco chats with Thatch. Then after dinner you all chat for a bit more til you excuse your self to your room. Getting ready doing your hair and changing clothes your finally ready once the time comes. Heading out of your room you lock up then head towards the back of the Moby Dick on the uppermost level.

‘It’s a full moon out tonight.’ Thinking then startled by a cough. Looking up and to the very back of the spot Marco’s sitting. Stepping slowly over to him you sit right next to him.

“You-”

“I ha-”

“You go first Y/N..” Marco gets out.

‘Well I’m here and not stupid I have to confess now or never’ Thinking you finally manage to get out.

“Marco it’s … it’s been you the entire time. I’m completely in love with you...” You hide your massive blushing face in your hands. Suddenly it starts to sprinkle rain drops, but neither of you seemed to care now this was too important.

“It’s always been you as well Y/N. I tried to move on because I never knew you felt the same. I realize now it must have been torment to see me with Ann- her…. I’m so sorry Y/N. Let me make this right.” He explains as you raise your head his fingers caress your chin as you both lean in till plush meets velvet lips. Moving in sync you both give off soft moans as both of yours and his hands caress each others faces and necks slowly working both your ways down. Kissing so passionately a guard of twenty years built up finally released in a hot steamy now make out session which lasted about ten minutes before breaking to fully breath.

“You should have just told me when I told you I was pan sexual Y/N.” Marco says with hot breath tickling your face and neck huffing.

“I should have but didn’t… I didn’t think anyone would want to love god truly...” You admit as you struggle to catch your breath.

“Also about that part being god I don’t want it anymore. I’d rather be with you in this life if you’ll have me?” You admit also as you feel Marco tense around your frame.

“You really want to become human? For me?” Him disbelieving what he just heard. You just nod your head.

“Your the only one for me Marco” You state as he stands helping you up.

“Stay standing Y/N” He commands and you follow stay standing. Suddenly you wonder what he’s doing when he kneels on one knee and holds up a golden sapphire ring.

“In that case will you Y/N, marry me?” Marco asks with confidence but you could sense a nervousness in his voice. Frozen for a second you respond.

“Ye-yes of course there’s nothing more that would make me happier! I do!” Exclaiming you let him place the ring on your finger as he smiles from ear to ear. He stands then hugs and pulls you upwards to his head height for another passionate kiss. Tongues intertwining hot breath, saliva, sprinkles of rain when you break for air.

“I love you Y/n and I always will” He whispers as you respond back

“I love you Marco and I always will too!” A silence between you two erupts as you stay still until you crack it.

“You know Thatch wrote that letter to send to you when you were dating her. And I’m pretty sure he forged letter to give to us so we would confess too.”

Admitting your let down and a pout forms but it replaced with a kiss.

“Well I’ll have to thank him he’s brought us true love.” He says while rubbing your back.

[Listen To SG Lewis – Call On Me (With Tove Lo) On Loop]

“Now come with me I’m cuddle deprived” Marco says as he picks you up bridal style and heads toward his door. Once there you unlock it for him by digging in his pocket then open the door as soon as you both enter he sets you down exchanging the key and locking the door.

“Come here” He suddenly picks you up and twirls you round to his bed, stops then plants a delicate kiss on your forehead. He sheds his shirt, jacket and shoes then rolls over in bed motioning you to follow. You undo your shorts dropping them, leaving your dress shirt and under ware on unzipping your shoes then crawl into bed next to him. He throws his comforter over you both as your nose to nose.

“I’ve had dreams of this...” Admitting to him as you cup his right cheek.

“This time it’s not a dream my little bird. And I have had dreams of this also.” Saying as he leans in for a kiss taking both your breath away. Tongues fighting for dominance his is too strong or you just let him win. After some many minutes of a make out session breaking for air which you don’t need to but he does. Huffing he states

“You sneaky devil you let me win!”

“Haha if you were in hell, I’d be Satan silly. Besides if you consider this hell then whats haven?” You quiz him.

“Well… I’m not sure is there a haven? And what’s it like?” He ponders.

“Well it’s much like Skypeia except no one can feel anything negative there's nothing bad at all that happens there. People just coexist and have fun and live their dreams unless it breaks the rules. In which case if they were to act on their bad decisions, they would be cast out down to hell.” Explaining to him the vague basics of how haven works. He seems to be deep in thought for a moment before speaking again.

“What will happen if you give up your god hood?”

“What? Well a new god will be created from pureness in haven and take my place. I can never go back to my status I will become fully mortal.” You state.

“Well will you forget anything? Or just your powers will dissapear? Will you become different from now?” He asks concerned.

“Yes… unfortunately I will forget how I ended up here and the god parts so my memory will be patchy but if you could … help, and fill me in on the missing spots? I’ll still remember everyone when I wasn’t in god mode so I’ll remember things like this and us. My powers will dissapear too. I guess I’ll just change because some of my memories will be gone like that time you got hurt because of me in battle…. Things like that...” You explain with a whisper in your voice.

“I’ll still have the same personality but things will be missing from my life, it’ll be your job to fill me in even if I don't believe it.” Continuing your explanation then going silent until he speaks next.

“If this is what you really want..Is there no way to avoid giving up your god hood?”

“No there isn’t if you really want to be with me and marry me then I have to give it up. Marriage and intercourse automatically give up godhood, but I can choose first to give it up at any time.” You keep explaining.

“It’s completely your decision Y/N. Just know I’ll support you no matter what.” He comforts you, rubbing your back as you both adjust so your cradled in his big strong arms. Wrapping an arm around his waist you both gently fall asleep to each other's heartbeats.

[The Next Morning Early]

Your awoken by a familiar feeling, someone’s hands gently petting your head awake.

“Ohh Y/N…. time to wake up… Y/N… come on now” A very familiar voice coed.

“Umm … Marco?” Asking confused then a flood of last night came flowing back to your head. Feeling the ring on your finger.

‘No it’s not a dream. It really happened oh gos-’ your broken from your thought as you now being picked up and carried then placed on his couch? Groggily opening and blinking your eyes you realize it’s the next day and you have work along with him. Looking around the room you see your shorts and shoes placed neatly on the arm rest and floor for you to change. Once dressed you feel arms and hands around your waist from behind and embrace the feeling wrapping your arms around his as he pecks your head from above.

“You should go to your room and change clothes or…. People may get the wrong idea about last night.” He says as you nod and break away from his grasp but not without another plush kiss first. Unlocking his door you quickly hurry to your room and change into your preferred clothing. Once done you exit your door to see Marco waiting for you.

“Ill see you later my little bird” He coos into your ear softly causing you to shiver.

“Okay sounds good big bird… Also I’m planning on it being today this afternoon..” Nervously saying as you shuffle your feet looking down. Feeling two fingers pick up your chin he opens his mouth to say

“I’ll support you no matter what I love you Y/N, and I want to marry you regardless of everything. Now, see you when your ready.” Both of you part ways, him to the med bay and you to train your fighting division.

[Later That Afternoon Before Dinner Time]

You slowly walk up to the First and Second Divisions table on deck nearing dinner. Seeing Marco wave at you, waving back you near him now.

“I’m ready to get it over with but first.” You think then pop up a semi translucent purpleish golden devil fruit in your left hand.

“Here tell me to eat it once the ritual is done.” Handing the fruit over to Marco you step away from him and anyone within a five foot radius.

“I relinquish my godhood!” Yelling to the sky causing everyone in the area to stop and stare in shock. Soon a blinding white light shoots down from haven into your core ripping a reverse shadow from your body as you float above deck a foot.

“Aghh!!!” You scream out in pain which you see Marco move forward to aid you but you scream.

“Stay back or you’ll be killed! Agh!!” soon the reverse shadow turns into a ball of pureness and white light as it shoots up back to haven. Dropping to the floor eyes closed about to pass out.

“Regenerative Flames!” You hear Marco yell as he pours his warm healing flames over you. Making you feel better enough to open your eyes.

“…………..” A long silence as you just stare at him as he does the same nervously. A circle of crew has formed around you now asking questions but there drown out by your memory flooding and splitting. Grabbing your head clenching your jaw closing your eyes for the longest minute ever, eventually the splitting stops. Looking back to Marco.

“Marco… what happened?” You ask meekly. He checks yours vitals and pulse.

“You seem alright now. Eat this, then I’ll explain over dinner.” He says as he helps you to your feet the crew become noticeable which Marco seems to realize it’s overwhelming you.

“Give Y/N some dam space that’s an order we’ll explain eventually.” He yells with a slight frown which makes the crew understand this is important and they disperse. After helping you to your feet you see he’s holding a mythical devil fruit.

“Here before you uhm…. passed out you told me to make you eat this.” He explains as he hands it out to you.

“Well if I told you something it must be true, and your the only one I trust completely.” Taking a huge bite and keep on gulping it down till it just stem. Throwing the stem over board you feel suddenly more powerful better enough to feel normalish. He leads you to your seats as everyone else settles in along with Thatch and Izo at your guys table after everyone’s been served. Your just leaning on Marco for balance and support since your tired from that fiasco.

“So tell us Marco since you seem to know what just happened. What happened to Y/N?” Izo asks curiously as Thatch also raises an eyebrow.

“Y/N gave up their god hood to … be with me… it’s also why they can’t remember a lot of things involving when they were in god mode. Also Y/N? Do you remember umm.. that I proposed to you?” He whispered to you as the other two commanders gasped. Them about to ask tons of questions you answer.

“Oh how could I forget that Marco? I can’t wait to marry you. I’m never taking this ring off. But what’s this about god hood???” You say happily which makes him relax wrapping his left arm around your shoulder. They all except Marco tense up at the fact that you can’t remember you were god.

“Well you and me met twenty years ago correct?” Marco asks you as you just nod yes.

“When we met you were god of the universe. But all the questions I asked you couldn’t tell me as I’m mortal. You said you would find out when it’s your time to ascend. You’ve lost all your memories of being god because you chose to marry me. Once you came to I knew you had to gain your strength back so I used my healing flames and obeyed what you told me to do, which was to slowly remind you of things, and make you eat the fruit which you made it easier than I thought haha. Also to remind you of things you can’t remember or things that are fuzzy to your memory.” He explains as he rubs your shoulder. Cocking your head to the side you question

“I was god? No way, but it does sound like me to give up everything for love. I mean I have been in love with you for years Marco.” you blush deeply which makes Thatch and Izo chuckle.

“Well that explains why Y/N is acting different.” Thatch speaks plainly.

“Y/N is still the same person Thatch there’s nothing different about them just they lost a lot of memories and can age and get hurt now.” Marco snips quickly to your defense.

“Alright Marco we get the idea. So your expecting us to spread the word so you don’t have to make an announcement?” Izo asks polightly.

“Well yes. Because I have to announce the wedding tonight. And oh by the way Thatch thanks.” Marco retorts then stands and yells as Thatch seems confused.

“Listen up guys!” Suddenly all attention is on a standing Marco and you since you had passed out.

“Me and Y/N are going to get married soon! You can ask Thatch and Izo about why Y/N passed out and doesn’t remember much that’s all!” Marco exclaims then Thatch stands.

“This calls for a celebration! It’s not everyday just our First Commander gets married but also our Second Commander to our First Commander! Break out the nice booze! But save some for the wedding!” Thatch yells to the crew as everyone erupts in applause.

“Congrats you two!” Crew member 34 says.

“Congratulations you both!” a group at a table yells raising their mugs.

“It’s about dam time!” Crew member 29 yells. The congratulations go on for awhile til most of everyone has said something, assuming those who didn’t say anything most likely will on the wedding day.

[After Celebrating]

Most of everyone turned in for the night leaving just you, Marco, Izo, and Thatch. Bullshitting, and telling old stories about you and Marco to remind you of the times you may not remember, which turns into reminiscing.

“-Then Marco started kinda stalking you is when I first noticed he’d taken an interest.” Izo says as he finishes off his mug.

“But I noticed before anyone else since he was younger.” Thatch says trying to top Izo.

“This isn’t a competition on who did what first Thatch. Now I may as well turn in it’s late. Goodnight everyone.” Izo states to shut up a tipsy Thatch.

“I should hit the hay too gonna feel it in the morning.” Thatch exclaims loudly as well as tipsy. As you and Marco say goodnight to them both, you feel yourself become light as your realize Marco picked you up easily. Him standing with you in his arms, he walks to probably his room as you wrap an arm around his waist. Once at his door he sets you up right as he unlocks the door.

[Listen To Tove Lo - Pineapple Slice On Loop]

“Ouuu a second cuddle time, or something more~” You pose the indirect question. Raising an eyebrow at you he cocks his head slightly to the side, in a suggestive manner. While you both enter his room while he lock’s his door, and goes by his bed railing you about three feet from him.

“Well there’s nothing stopping us is there? It’s all up to you now isn’t it Y/N my sweet little birdie.” He smoothly jests.

“I’ve prepared for tonight~”

“Wait are you tipsy? Y/N you know I’m a doctor, you can’t consent while intoxicated.” Marco says concern slipping into his voice. You hear him but aren't listening. Quickly grabbing something from your back pocket you slip it into your mouth him not seeing just, what it was.

“What did you put in your mouth spit it out now!” He commands as you close the gap softly put down the can down behind him on his night stand. Jumping on him he catches you as you make out with sweet juice being swallowed by you both. Tongues intertwining ripping, sucking the sweet fruit apart, you start undressing his shirt and jacket as he does the same since you clearly want him. You both break apart the fruit swallowing each half breaking for air huffing.

“I guess this is your consent? Hmm what a pleasant surprise, a pineapple slice.” You just nod

“Yessss I consent Doctor~” Undress the rest, shorts and shoes into your supple skin is glistening in the full moons shine. Softly jumping on the bed you say

“I lift my hips that’s your go head, you gotta taste what’s in front of you~” Slightly humming as you grab another slice of pineapple as he undresses out of his sash caprices, boxers, and sandals. You slide the and softly squeeze the juicy fruit from your mouth to your nipples downwards to your pelvis and sex.

“Your so much more than what I imagined Y/N. Humanity has made you a little devil and your all mine~.” He whispers as he crawls over you kissing your sweet juicy lips first, while massaging your nipples making you twitch slightly. Slowly going down licking up and kissing the juice off your plush skin then to your left nipple stimulating your right one.

“Ahh! Marco~~” A hand runs through his lush silky hair then other gently squeezes his cock with the fruit generously lubing it up. Once the juices were lapped up around your nipples, he goes further as you take him by surprise turning him over going down, down, and down to his member sucking the pineapple slice into your mouth. Starting at his tip swirling your tongue around his mushroom head going further slowly as you squish the fruit with your tongue.

“Fuck yes Y/N!” He yells loud enough for some of the crew below his room who were usually playing poker to yell

“Atta Marco! Get em Y/N!” Going deeper and deeper you swallowed the pineapple slice as some juices leak out on his dick. Backing up for air then going back down even deeper to lick the juices up you accidentally start deep throating him making him moan loudly.

“Aghh! HUFF huff Y/N your so great at this you sure your a virgin?” Marco questions your livelihood.

“Was I before I passed out? I’ve never once done this now so~” You retort.

“Ahh you were and still are a virgin but maybe not for long. Your making it so hard to hold back.”

“I gave you my consent silly big bird~ Now hold your head with my thighs. Your weight on me feels good~ Make me moan~ You deserve to fill me up endlessly~” You seductively whisper to him as he twitches all over then gently yanks you upward turning you over, him on top going down on you.

“AHH yes! Marco! I know your a doctor and all but dam! Straight away?!” You shout. He comes up using his hands to work on your groin and sex while his heads up.

“Is my little bird complaining?” You just shake your head no viciously as he smirks then heads back down. Making you moan so loudly your sure some of the crew will be talking tomorrow about it all. He laps up the pineapple juices like it’s a smoothie, licking your groin and sex continuously squishing the juicy fruit into your sex then swallowing both juices, making you twitch uncontrollably.

“Marco~ Marrcoo~ I need you~~” You whine as your hands are intertwined in his sheets.

“Are you ready my sweet little devil?~” He asks as you just nod yes quickly. Using his index and second fingers he takes your chin while his thumb enters your mouth softly. His mouth up to your ear

“Say please” As he releases his hold on your mouth you obey.

“Pl-please Marco take me, I’m ready~” You managed to get out as he is so fucking hot like this.

“Good devil” He responses as he positions himself at your opening. Black eyes meet [colored] ones as he warns.

“We should be sufficiently lubed up just let me know when to stop.” You just nod to him as he slowly starts to insert his eight inch cock into you.

“Ahh SO big!” You moan as the juices and saliva help him to slip in more comfortably. You can only guess he was a quarter of the way in when you beg

“Please wait… just let me adjust a minute it kinda hurts, so tight.”

“Okay dear Ill wait but come here let’s make it not hurt so much.” He says as he uses his tongue to enter a kiss with you making out, you can feel his dick twitch partially inside you. After breaking for air you beg again but,

“Please more I need you fully in me Marco fuck me!”

“Say no more my little birdie.” He responds. See sawing with his cock in and out getting more juices to flow cause him to slip all the way inside of you causing you both moans as you lock lips to muffle your loud sounds from any more crew hearing. Though you know your only halfway to most likely cumming, you let him take the lead. He starts pumping as he intertwines his big callused hands with yours forcing you down, taking his punishment of teasing him earlier. First he goes slowly as to not hurt you and to make sure your efficiently lubed up. Then continues to go incredibly slowly seemingly waiting for you to get annoyed.

“Marco please you’ve teased me like I did you please go faster please… you just feel so so good!” You whine shaking your head from side to side as he consents in defeat and speeds up. Huffing now both of you he continues to speed up and up until he deems whats a good pace. Quickly finding your G spot you moan out uncontrollably.

“YeS MarCO!!! RighT TherE!!” You try to catch your breath as hes now fucking you ragged.

‘I never knew this much pleasure could be had its wonderful’ Thinking quickly, as your body is bouncing off the bed while he has you pinned by your hands. It seems like at least two hours passes before you can’t take it anymore.

“MarCO I ThiNK I’m GoNna cuM!” You yell out with tears streaming down your face in pleasure moaning loudly.

“Cum Baby Bird!” He yells as well as moans. Letting go your G spot tightens making sounds come from Marco.

“YoUr CummINg AlriGHt FUCK YOUR GONNA make me cum too!” He yells breathlessly as you feel his cock swell up against your orgasm making it more intense.

“I’m CumiNG toO MaRCo! YeS YoUr CumMIng IN Me!” You sex drunk tears blurring your vision as you feel his semen flow into you filling up your cavern to the brim some leaking out. Both of you grinding against each other to get that last intense great feeling out. Huffing harder than you he releases your hands and slows down his pace and props himself on his elbows above you pecking your sweaty forehead while still in you.

“Well seems like ill have to change my sheets anyways.” He says panting his hot breath tickling your face and neck. After a couple minutes he whispers in your ear making you shiver from the lack of warmth

“Okay now let’s get cleaned up my sweet birdie.” He starts to pull out very slowly making you frown slightly at the loss of warmth from his member. Noticing this he asks

“What baby bird? Honestly your not ready for a round two yet. Let’s get cleaned up watch out when you sit up just let our juices get on my sheets I’ll replace them after we shower.” You just nod realizing just how tired you are.

“Um your right I’m so tired and I didn’t do much.” You admit as you take his hand he’s held out for you.

“That’s why I did all the work. And your human now I wasn’t expecting you to do a marathon for your first time but I’m extremely flattered it’s with me.” He holds onto your shoulder and arms to steady you as he helps you into the shower as he follows and closes the glass door turning on the water, your combined juices leaking down your legs. Shivering at the nights air realizing how stuffy it is in the room you comment.

“We should open a window after our shower big bird.” He just nods.

“I was planning on it but that means we better cuddle close tonight since its cold weather tonight now don’t want my sweet little bird to catch a cold. Now come here.” He grabs the soap and lathers up on his hands as he reaches down to clean out you hole and groin making his way up to your shoulders. Next you decide to do the same for him lathering soap then clean his cock, groin abs where the pineapple juices were mixed together by your bodies then around to his back where he probably sweated the most back around to his pecs and chest to his shoulders. You both wash off the soap and he asks

“Does this scent of hair shampoo matter?”

“No it’s fine thanks” You take some and you both lather your hair then rinse off. Opening the shower door Marco grabs his giant towel and helps dry you off first then himself. He hands you one of his sleep shirts which you put on flapping the sleeves as its huge on you.

“Its so big Marco haha.” you giggle hopping on his couch as he puts on clean boxers and nothing else. Eyeing his pecs, abs, chest, back muscles, arms, and ass he seems to notice.

“And what are we staring at now?” He asks with a wide smile glancing at you as he changes the sheets then opens the window to air out the sex smell.

“Your just so sexy and handsome… I can’t believe someone like you want’s to marry me even if we were best friends all these years.” Admitting sprawling over laying on his couch. Hearing footsteps then feeling plush lips upside down behind your head you reciprocate meshing lips on lips it only lasts for a minute or two before hearing.

“As I said before your the only one for me. I fell so hard for you. Well I might as well have fallen from haven for you.” He states blankly.

“Awwwhh that is the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me! Why thank you my sweet big bird~” You say in a high tone. He pats the bed as you get up and shiver, quickly jolting to the bed jumping into his waiting arms then rolling over near the wall, him hugging you close. Pulling over the comforter on top of you both you snuggle closer to his giant chest still with a shiver.

“Here love rest your head on my arm.” He whispers in your ear then pecks your cheek and turns into his hybrid form wrapping his wings around you.

“Ahh so relaxing, warm, and loving. Thank you Marco.” You coo, nose to nose as he nods then gives you a kiss on your forehead as you plant a kiss on his neck.

“I also can’t believe this is real.. It all seems like a dream still.” Your ears perk up at his words.

“Well I’m sure when were married on one of the next islands we’ll feel more normalized with everything.” Cupping both his cheeks, making out saliva squishing that sweet nectar of that pineapple slice as you both almost swallow each other. Feeling his wings on your ass and back bringing you closer, inhaling his after shower musk feels intoxicating. Breaking for air after minutes of making love with tongues he asks.

“That reminds me, do you even know what devil fruit you ate?” Raising an eyebrow his glasses fall slightly but he doesn’t seem to want to move from his position. You gently take off his glasses and place them on the end table.

“Thanks love, that was bugging me.” He admits with a chuckle.

“Anytime big bird~” Cooing to him then you respond again.

“I ate the Gravi- Gravi Fruit. It lets your control all gravity. Meaning I can still fly, or in this case fall in a certain direction, with you. I only remember what it is cause I read the Devil Fruit Encyclopedia a lot.” Admitting he nods then gives your cheek a kiss his stubbly beard tickling your cheek making you laugh. He gives a chuckle in response as you let go of his face placing your hands on his neck and chest.

“Time to get some much needed sleep dear.” He says sweetly and softly.

“Okay sleep well .. my lover” You blush deeply as he chuckles holding you close legs intertwining.

“Oh I will my lover I hope you sleep well too~” He pecks the top of your semi-wet head. You slowly place your hands in their original position on his chest as you both drift off into the night.

[On One Of The Next Islands, You Eventually Found Marco A Perfect Ring]

[The Night Before Party In Town Square]

[Listen To Oliver Tree – One & Only On Loop]

Everyone slowly makes their way to the town square for the before party where its open invitation. You and Marco are dressed in formal wear that was planned out on the previous island. After arriving at the venue Town Square where there was numerous tables set up and carts of different foods. Half provided by you, who had hoarded gold in your room as god, and half provided by the people of the town. You felt kind of strange to be in the same town as the break up that Marco went through, but he reassured you everything would be okay. After snacking, drinking and mingling with most people and the crew, you grab a mug of alcohol then spy Marco. Talking, laughing with Izo and Thatch and has his signature smile upon his handsome face. Walking over to him intertwining hands with his free hand which he naturally knew it was you now as of the months of being together everyday except when on missions.

“Ah perfect timing little bird.” He says smile adorning his face turning his head towards you as he takes a sip of his mug.

“Who do you want to be on your side for the wedding dear?” He asks as his smile was replaced by a frown. Suddenly you glance to see what or who Marco’s looking at only to see long brown hair and blue/green eyes along with a big belly passing out candied apples among various other goods for money. Marco moves along with you in tow the others begging him to just drop it.

“Don’t worry guys, I’ll be civil.” He says softly dragging you in tow one free hand in your free hand. Once a couple feet away from Annie she hands out a candied kiwi in an audible gasp as she drops the fruit making the shell crack and crumble in front of her on the stone pathway.

“You must have know whose party this was for? Surly?… So why is your presence spoiling my ale?” Marco asks her as she just puts a hand up to her mouth muttering out.

“This is the only way I can pay for the necessities for my baby….. So you both?…. How’d I have a feeling that it would be you two ending up together you both have since that day I met you had chemistry. Just a feeling… I mean it’s even made the daily mail. Marco The Phoenix and Y/N The [Last Name] to be married aboard Whitebeard’s ship….. Of course the ship part was just so no one would think to crash the wedding. Well you don’t have to worry about me I learned my lesson. I won’t ruin anything rest assured.” She explains trying to bend down to pick up the broken candy. You just use your gravity powers to pick up the pieces for her and place them on her cart.

“Thank you Y/N.” She says gratefully. Suddenly a jingling of coins can be heard and splat down on her cart by Marco.

“Don’t get it twisted I don’t still care for you or care for your baby. Just take this as a nights pay and go home so we can enjoy ourselves.” Marco emphasizes “we” and holds your hand to his heart to show he didn’t want to see her. With her nod of defeat she takes the coin bag with her head hung low and locked up her stand then slowly wobbled home down the path to her house.

“Well she’s about to pop. Didn’t know you had a mean bone in your body Marco my love.” You admit as he squeezes your hand.

“She made her bed now she has to lie in it, darling.” He says with was that a sinister smirk?

After that scene the joy returned to Marcos face as he led you back to your table and sat down with food, snacks, and deserts galore along with spirits. After awhile the ghost of Annie wore off and you all were having a great time.

“Oh Marco you asked earlier but was interrupted. Id like to have Izo help me as my mate he does great hair.” You exclaim on your sixth mug tipsy now. Marco just gives you a loving smile while drinking his mug.

“Alright Thatch looks like your with me.” Thatch just looks at you with his hands up to his heart.

“And all that buddy buddy heartfelt stuff about Marco all those years were for nothing? I’m quiet offended Hahaha!” Thatch jokes as you all laugh. Eventually Marco has to carry you away, from getting drunk. The night ends with cuddles in bed aboard the ship in the First Commanders room.

[Down The Isle]

“Are you ready Y/N? Don’t keep Marco waiting or he’ll think you ran away.” Izo scolds you in your private dressing room.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine Izo we’ve been apart longer than this haha.” Retorting you adjust a rose on your outfit.

“Okay ready Izo!” Exclaiming as he puff’s.

“Finally! The song’s started already hurry take my arm. I can’t let either of you down or I’ll never hear the end of it.” He states in a panic like if he messes up Marco mainly won’t ever let him live it down. Taking Izo’s arm n arm you begin walking around the corner of the dressing room to the long red carpet all eyes on you, glancing up eyes meeting Marco’s unmoving. Keeping his gaze you feel like hot butter melting, legs feeling weak. Izo whispers.

“Don’t fall on me or I won’t hear the end of it.” He tries to keep you up as you try your best to walk to the music to the alter.

‘Finally made it in one piece!’ Thinking to yourself as you gaze at Marcos tall stature then meet his eyes.

‘He looks so dashing today and all the time too, but a little more today’ Thinking quietly before hearing.

“I do.” Come from Marco.

“And do you Y/N The [Last Name] take Marco The Phoenix to be your lawful wedded husband in sickness and in health to death do you part?” The reverend asks.

“He wont be able to escape even in death. I’ll bug him forever.” You state making everyone including Marco Laugh.

“Well death would be too soon anyways.” Marco states with his charming smile adorning his features. Turning back to Marco you state

“I do very much!”

“Then the rings please.” The reverend exclaims as Thatch hands Marco your ring and Izo hands you Marcos ring. Marco slips on your ring as you slip on his then the reverend speaks.

“By the power vested in me by god I deem you both married. You may kiss.” The reverend states as he closes his book on the churches podium. Taking a step forward you become nervous with all the eyes on you. But stare back into Marcos loving fiery eyes, and close the gap as does he to which you both meet in the middle plush on velvet then as soon as they meet they parted. Suddenly an uproar in applause happens with the whole crew and some villagers among some allied crews that came just for the wedding who were invited. After cutting the cake which Thatch generously made extra big everyone parties and celebrates deep into the night. Taking the party mainly to the ship with some others still in town. Eventually Marco drags you away from the uproar to be more private while the partying is so loud you both can make as much noise of your own as you want without being interrupted.

[After Your Sexy Time]

“Thank you Marco for choosing me. I’ll love you till I don’t exist here anymore~ Your my one and only~ I love you~” You kiss his stubbly chin/cheek nuzzling his neck in bed, as the party is still going on.

“Your my one and only as well Y/N thank you for being so patient with me. I love you too~” Marco says as he pets your hair

“Do you want to go back out there to celebrate? It’s only once in our lifetimes.” He mentions as you nod. Both of you shower together then get dressed and head back out for more festivities~

#marco x reader #marco smut #op marco x reader #op marco #marco onepiece #one piece marco #marco the phoenix #marco op x you #marco x y/n #marco x you #marco the pineapple #marco the phoenix x reader #op #one piece #whitebeard pirates #whitebeard commanders #op fandom #one piece fandom #angst #fluff #marco one piece #y/n #one piece x you #one piece men #x reader

[rosenallies]

single mom anetra au yes pls😌

Ok idk how I feel abt this but uhh here is a bit of this ??<3 lmk what y'all think<333

----

Anetra sat at the bar, nursing a Margarita, stirring the drink around with her straw. She watched from the corner of her eye at couples on the dance floor, kissing and touching one another like they were completely alone. She envied them. There was a part of her that regretted her divorce, but she couldn’t shake the negative feelings she harbored toward her now ex-husband when she told him she thought she was bisexual and he blew up at her. She wasn’t even asking to explore that with anyone else, she just thought she could confide in him; after all he’d been with her since high school. He put a ring on her finger and had given her a daughter all before the age of 21, now at 26 she was divorced and single in the midst of a sexuality crisis with sole custody of their 5 year old daughter, Aurora. 

The thought of her daughter reminded her to check in with the babysitters. She didn’t leave Aurora with anyone else very often, but when the teenage twins next door offered to babysit in exchange for only $10 an hour, she figured she could use a night out; the girls were a bit ditzy but between the two of them, she figured they’d be fine, which they confirmed with several ‘thumbs up’ emojis when she texted them asking how things were going. 

Anetra sighed and slipped her phone back in her purse, debating just heading home, it was still early enough for her to curl up on the couch with a bottle of wine and a DVR full of reality tv shows she’d recorded. She sucked down the last of her drink when someone approached her, sliding themself between her and the person on the stool next to her.

“I’ll take a lemon drop martini and whatever she’s having,” they said to the bartender, gesturing to her. 

“Oh, um, just a regular Margarita, please.”

“I’m Marcia,” they said, tossing their silky blonde hair over their shoulder with a smile.

“Anetra, it’s nice to meet you.”

“You too, so what brings you here? All by your lonesome,” they giggled.

Anetra hesitated, shrugging and sipping her drink. “Just hanging out, I guess.”

Marcia hummed, trailing a delicate finger up her arm. “Would you care to maybe hang out somewhere else?”

“Oh, um, I don’t know-I have to get home, I have work in the morning and-”

“So do I,” they said, smiling, “my backseat is roomy.”

Heat pooled in Anetra’s stomach and she found herself nodding.

“Good, well, let me show you a good time, yeah?”

They led her out to the parking lot by the hand and all Anetra could think about was how she hoped Marcia couldn’t feel how sweaty her palms were.

Marcia wasn’t kidding about the good time they’d promised as they had Anetra coming apart under their tongue quicker than her ex had ever been capable of. 

“Do you want to come stay the night at my place? I’d be glad to keep the night going,” Marcia said breathlessly after they’d let Anetra play with them until they finished on her fingers with a high pitched moan. 

“Oh, I really have to get going, but thank you for the offer. I had fun.”

Before Marcia had a chance to ask for her number or give her theirs, Anetra yanked her dress back into place and left the car, hailing a taxi and heading home, Marcia’s delicate begging to finish playing in her mind on a loop.

When she got home, she paid the twins, just glad they didn’t set the kitchen on fire making the kraft mac n’ cheese she’d left for them to give Aurora for dinner and sent them on their way, chuckling to herself as they bickered down the hallway about who deserved the bigger cut, despite her paying them an even number that they could easily split. 

Once the girls left, she stood in the kitchen, suddenly feeling more alone than ever. She quickly scarfed down the last of the leftover mac n’ cheese and dumped the bowl in the kitchen sink to do later. About to head to bed, the sound of small feet could be heard pattering down the hallway.

“Mommy?” Aurora said, sleepily rubbing at her eyes that seemed to be stained pink and glittery.

“Hi, princess,” she replied, “how was your night?”

She nodded. “Good! Sugar did my makeup and said I look like a princess!”

“You are a princess, my princess. How come you’re still up?”

Aurora shrugged. “I just wanted to see you.”

Guilt made Anetra’s stomach twist, a feeling she couldn’t shake since her divorce, despite her therapist assuring her she did what was best for her and Aurora. 

“Do you want to come sleep in my bed?” Anetra asked, a sneaking suspicion. Since the divorce and the move to a new city in a new apartment, Aurora had slept in her bed more nights than her own and honestly, Anetra couldn’t blame her. Even she felt lonely in bed at night.

“Can I?”

Anetra smiled and pet her hair. “Of course, darling, we’ve gotta get up early for your first dance class in the morning, anyway.”

“Oh yay!” Aurora exclaimed, clapping her hands and hugging her mother’s legs, “I’m so excited!”

The next morning, Anetra woke up to a little foot in her face and an ache in her back, just a small reminder that just last night she was laid in the back of a stranger’s car, moaning their name. She ignored the ache in her loins as she thought about it while she showered and ignored the thought of Marcia’s sweet smile while she drove Aurora to her dance class, Disney songs playing softly from her car’s speaker. 

When they arrived, she walked Aurora into the lobby where other parents lingered, sipping expensive coffee as they chatted about how their kid was gonna be the next big thing. 

“Hi, are you here for the beginning ballet class?” An older woman with a tight ponytail approached her, smiling down at Aurora in her pink leotard and skirt.

“Yes, are you the teacher?”

“No, my name is Sasha, I own the studio and I just wanted to come in to welcome all our new dancers, there’s quite a few starting today.”

Anetra nodded along. “I’m Anetra, and this is my daughter, Aurora.”

“Welcome, we’re glad to have you, you’ll find her teacher in the studio right over to the left if you’d like to get acquainted with them, they’re lovely!”

“Great, thank you so much.”

Sasha nodded curtly and walked away, leaving her and Aurora to make their way to the studio where her class would be held.

 It seemed they were the only ones there as when they entered, the studio was empty, save for the blonde bent over the speaker, fiddling with the cords.

“Hello,” Anetra said, awkwardly getting their attention.

The blonde gasped and dropped the cords, turning around. Anetra felt the blood drain from her face as the memories of the night prior came flooding back once again, despite her attempts to push them away.

“I’m Marcia,” they said brightly with a smile, “and you two are?”

Anetra swallowed, unsure as to whether they were playing dumb or if they genuinely don’t remember. As far as Anetra could tell, they were relatively sober last night, so they must’ve remembered.

“I’m Anetra and this is my daughter Aurora.”

“Welcome to class, Aurora, I love your leotard, pink is my favorite color!”

Aurora looked up at her mother excitedly, then back at Marcia. “It’s mine too! I’m really excited to be in dance class, my mommy said since her and daddy divorced I needed something to cheer me up!”

At that moment, Anetra felt like she wanted to be swallowed up whole by the universe, her cheeks burning with embarrassment.

“Well, dance is a perfect way to cheer yourself up, I’m so glad both of you are here! Do you wanna say bye to mommy?”

Anetra squatted down to her level, smoothing down a hair that flew away from the rest of her bun, the same strand of hair that she could never get to sit flat ever since Aurora was born. “You be good now, okay, princess? Mommy will be back in an hour, don’t be scared, I will be back, okay?”

“Okay! Bye mommy!”

Excited as ever, Aurora skipped over to where Marcia was, a group of other little girls starting to form a huddle around them. It seemed as if Anetra was more anxious about it than she was. Sighing, Anetra slipped out of the studio and back into her car where she decided she’d wait. 

An hour of mindlessly scrolling through her phone went by slowly and when it was finally time, she went back inside to collect her daughter, who spun around in circles excitedly, showing off her newly learned moves.

Marcia approached her, a soft hand on her shoulder. “Cute kiddo. Let me know if mommy ever needs some cheering up too,” they said, slipping a folded up index card into her hand before turning their attention back to the other parents coming to collect their kids. Unfolding the card, Anetra noticed it was their phone number, with ‘call me’ written in loopy writing, signed off with a heart and a smiley face.

#idk what to call this yet #I guess I’ll wait to tag it lmao #anarcia #Single mom au

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Ahoy Steph 🙌, I was wondering if you could tell us a little bit about yourself and what kind of tropes and stories you enjoy? Wanna get to know a little more about who is behind the blog if you don't mind🤸

Hey Nonny!

Sorry for the delay in a reply... just haven't "felt it" the past couple months, and after a nice 2 week break (and now a slow day at work), I feel more up to answering a long-form ask today, LOL.

So, I won't reveal too much about myself that isn't already public, since I try to keep my online and personal lives separate (and I come from an age where people usually DID do this because no one needs to know every little bit about you). The basics are that I'm a 41-year-old Canadian dork who loves video games, animation, movies, drawing, writing, and making music. I'm a graphic designer by trade, and have been for nearly 20 years, and I love it (if you need something designed or laid out, hit me up, I freelance on the side for extra spending money). I love dragons and puppies and kitties. I've been in fandom spaces for as long as I can remember, even before the internet. First major fandom I was a part of was Sonic the Hedgehog in my teen years, used to be a pretty popular writer back then. I moved on to Darkwing Duck in my 20s, then TMNT and then Sherlock (I'm a fan of a TONNE more things, but these were the active fanbases I had a presence in). These days I'm more of a lurker than actively participating, though Sherlock has been the longest one I haven't really moved on from. I like the casualness of what I've built here, and I think that's been a huge benefit for my mental health.

Hmm... my fave food is mac and cheese, but had to cut back on it a lot, so these days it's mostly chicken, lol. Fave dessert is cheesecake. Again, not supposed to eat it because of the dairy and sugar, so if I make it, I use lactose-free cheese. I treat myself once-a-year on my birthday, usually.

My current dream is to own a home. I've been trying to make it happen for almost 10 years now, and every time I get close, the goal-post gets shifted as housing prices skyrocket. It makes me very sad.

My dream holiday is a Disney cruise OR somewhere tropical; wanted to do these since I was 20. Secondary dream WAS going back to Disney World for my 40th, but now it's for my 45th or 50th, hopefully with SOMEONE (no one wants to go with me, hence the back-burner on this one). Listen, I know how awful Disney is. I just... really loved being there. It's easy to forget a lot of things when you're there. Third dream is a cross-country LITERAL nostalgia road trip with my sister. We used to go on 2-week-long, cross-Canada road trips when we were kids, and I just... want to kind of relive those, y'know? Lots of fond memories. Again, something that's just a dream because while my sister wants to do it, she doesn't want to be an alternate driver, so. Yeah, I can't do the driving alone.

Uh... Hmm. Not sure what else I should talk about here, if there's something specific y'all want to know, just ask :)

As for fave tropes, I love fake relationship fics the most, I think, followed by pining and movie rewrites with characters... I'm actually pretty easy-going when it comes to tropes, really. Willing to read any trope at least once to see if I like it.

Oddly, though, I prefer stories that are SUPER in-character (to how I read them, anyway) AND focus a lot on character studies and relationships with other characters. Novel-length stories are usually the best for it, but shorter ones can be too. I prefer fanfics more these days because I don't have to think about how these characters SHOULD be and focus more on the world that the author created. When I do read published novels, though, they're usually fantasy books. One of my fave series ever is the Inkheart Trilogy. Just an easy read from book one.

Yeah, so that's a little bit about me, to start off 2023 AND for any newbies that have just recently found me.

Thanks again for your curiosity :) Again, if you have anything you want more elaboration on, I can at my discretion.

#steph replies #about me #chatting with nonnies #ask me anything

[wanderer-sylvan]

ooc post: random useless facts 2

i'm low on ideas again so it's time for brain sludge.

i guess i'll start by talking about the christmas event i wrote half of and then scrapped.

the event was going to involve N and sylvan going to driftveil for a holiday party, with sylvan reluctantly bringing his father along (because, y'know, people like spending holidays with family or whatever.) and hoping he wouldn't cause problems.

then vernon would cause problems. (he was gonna find out about N's involvement with team plasma.)

i couldn't really think of a good way to resolve said problems, though. part of the reason i didn't finish writing this event. also because i waited too long to start writing it so i didn't have time to think it through or actually write half of it

also linnet was gonna come back. she wouldn't really have a major role, but she'd be there! and latios too, of course.

oh well. i can rework the important stuff into some other event later.

anyway, on to other stuff.

there are not very many sylvans in the multiverse. most universes just... never had one and never will. of the sylvans that have existed, even fewer of them are alive.

not from like, any one specific cause. just most of them Fucked Up somewhere along their journeys.

some real world pokemon games exist within sylvan's universe. mostly ones that don't have human characters, like mystery dungeon and rumble. (miis don't count as human characters they're just player avatars. sorry miis ily :p)

sylvan's brother, oliver, was originally planned to be a bartender. but then i decided to incorporate him into my other pkmn irl blog that i barely use, and there was no reason for the characters i play on that blog to crash land in the pokemon world and immediately go straight to the bar. so he runs a cafe now.

speaking of oliver. sylvan's name was originally oliver. then eventually i decided the name didn't suit him, so i picked out a new one and later gave his old name to his older brother.

sylvan is vegetarian in theory, but usually vegan in practice, since N is vegan and it would be needlessly pricey to buy both vegan and non vegan versions of applicable foods.

he usually does at least have a pack of mac and cheese cups in the apartment though. saves them for when he's sad or stressed or just really wants some damn mac and cheese.

at some point, i thought about secretly having this blog take place a few years in the future. it was kind of just a cheap way to make sylvan easier for me to write, since i would basically be making him the same age as me.

but then i thought. if i ever actually publicly established the fact that the blog took place in 2030, people might start asking questions about what the future is like and stuff and i realized doing this would be causing more difficulties than it would solve.

on new years, when i'd received the egg that would eventually become Idele, i asked my cousin what should be in it.

he said to put a shiny drizzile in it. i told him, "you can't put a drizzile in an egg, dumbass" so he reluctantly changed his answer to shiny sobble.

i then asked my sister for her opinion. she said a shiny cherubi. i guess she had caught one in legends arceus recently, so it was on her mind. but sylvan already has a cherrim, so i didn't really wanna do that.

so i eventually just. picked neither of those options and went for hisuian zorua because It's Cool.

months ago, when i was trying to decide what sort of character(s) to center my possible future pkmn irl blog around, i had three different ideas.

the first was, y'know... sylvan. since he was a pokemon character i had already made. but i worried that people wouldn't find him interesting or that they'd get mad about him dating N. so i tried to think of something else.

my second idea was for a latias disguising herself as a human because... reasons? i didn't have that part worked out yet. (so, like, a first draft version of linnet. and linnet was only like, a second draft version of linnet.) i kinda just didn't have enough enthusiasm about playing that character for an extended period of time, i guess.

my third idea was for a crossover blog. i thought it would be funny to bring a character from yo-kai watch into the pokemon world. for some reason the first that came to mind was komasan. he's not even like, my favorite yo-kai or anything...? (venoct, if you were wondering. which you probably were not.) anyway i wasn't confident enough in my ability to write as him, so the idea was dropped.

eventually i settled on sylvan despite my previous concerns. then i had to decide where in his story i wanted to place the blog.

the main three points in time i was considering were...

1. a few years ahead of his sort of... base form. like, when i think of sylvan, i think of him at 21, right after bw2. but i wanted to move him forward a little if i was going with a "current" form of him. i do not remember why i made that decision, but whatevs. this is the version i chose.

2. when he was a teenager and just starting out his journey. N would not have been involved with this theoretical version of the blog. (unless it went on for... quite a while.) i dropped this because at the time i was writing a fic that covered that same point in his life. also because i wanted N to be there.

3. when he was traveling with N but they weren't romantically involved yet. would have involved Pining™ and going to random places and doing random stuff and syl being really confused (and somewhat concerned) about What The Hell N's Deal Is. i don't remember why i decided against this, it probably would have been a more interesting blog. maybe i just figured it would be easier to write sylvan when all the interesting stuff already happened to him, ha.

that's everything i can think of right now. so. post over

[themurphyzone]

PatB Oneshot: Grand Pink Auto

Summary: Pinky drives a car and Brain freaks out the entire time. Also, Pinky is wearing a catsuit and that’s not helping matters. 

AO3 Link

AN: So in the reboot, letting Pinky getting behind the wheel seems to just be a bad idea in general so this plot bunny was born. Plus after so many angsty and plot driven stories, I just thought it would be funny to do a comedic story.

Brain dragged Pinky away from the television by his tail, though the simpleton barely noticed. He was too entranced by the amateur who failed to properly grill the bread on a grilled cheese sandwich on ExpertCook, and the judges were lambasting her poor performance. 

While it was a show that relied heavily on ratings and manipulative editing, even Brain couldn't deny that it was entertaining whenever Gordon Ramsey flew into his curse-filled tirades. If he slowed his pace long enough to see the full critique over the contestant's horrible grilled cheese sandwich, well, Pinky didn't comment on it. 

But once it cut to commercial, Brain shut off the TV. It was time to focus on his brilliant plan to take over the world. 

"Tell me, Pinky," Brain said, unfurling his blueprints with an extra flourish. Just as he predicted, Pinky clapped, easily amused by that little trick. "What's the one thing humans in this day and age can't live without?" 

Pinky scratched his head, though the odds that the vigorous movement would stimulate his neuroreceptors were slim to none. 

"Um…ooh, this is a tough question. Hold on…it's on the tippy tip of my tongue…ooh, I know! They can't live without cheese!" Pinky exclaimed, beaming like he was very proud of his idiotic answer. "I know I couldn't!" 

Brain sighed. "Vegans and lactose intolerant people exist, you fool. Your nonsensical response would only be true for Wisconsin." 

"What?" Pinky shrieked in outrage. "They shouldn't be so mean to poor lactose! He didn't do anything to them!" 

Knowing that the intricate chemical properties of lactose would be lost on Pinky, Brain grabbed a nearby pencil and administered a bop to Pinky's head. 

"Narrrf! Look at all the pretty twinkly stars, Brain!" Pinky giggled, trying to catch the invisible stars swirling around his head. 

Brain yanked on Pinky's muzzle to focus his attention to the blueprint. 

"Get your head out of the sky and back to earth, Pinky," Brain snapped, releasing Pinky's muzzle. "The one thing humans can't live without is the radio signal colloquially known as Wi-Fi." 

He pointed to the set of curved bars that serves as the standard Wi-Fi symbol on the blueprint. 

"The importance of an Internet connection has permeated 21st century society. It has become an essential need, perhaps even more so than oxygen and water. When people arrive somewhere new, they prioritize connectivity above all else. And if they can't accomplish this, the first words out of their mouths are 'what's the Wi-Fi password?' 

Pinky blinked. "Oh, that's easy. The Wi-Fi password is password." 

Well, that was true. ACME Labs employees weren't renowned for their creativity. 

“With this in mind, I shall twist humanity’s greatest weakness to my advantage,” Brain declared, unveiling a remote with a long, collapsible antenna. “Behold, Pinky! My Ultrasonic Frequency Radio Disruptor!” 

Pinky’s eyes sparkled, honing in on the large red button. “Shinnnnnyyyy!” he exclaimed, reaching for the remote. 

Brain smacked Pinky’s hand away, well aware of his friend’s compulsion to push shiny buttons. This time, he had the foresight to place a dark casing over the button to discourage any accidental button pushing. Once it was covered, Pinky calmed down.

“My Disruptor emits a powerful radio frequency of my own invention, which I have dubbed ‘Brain-Fi’. Once the Brain-Fi signal is plugged into a sufficient amplifier, its disrupting effects will magnify a thousandfold and spread worldwide, overriding and eliminating all public and private Wi-Fi networks.” 

"Egad, Brain. That's…brilliant. Zort," Pinky said, though he didn't look too sure. The zort was a dead giveaway. 

Brain frowned, concerned by the lack of enthusiasm in that statement. "What's wrong with the plan? Usually you don't need my prompting to make your inane and often unwarranted critiques." 

Pinky twiddled his thumbs. "What about gamers? And other people whose social lives are all online? You can't just deprive them of an Internet connection when it's the only connection they have!" 

Pinky’s moral compass had a tendency to rear up at the most aggravating times. 

Fortunately, that was easily remedied. 

“Assist me on this plan, and I will treat you to your choice of dessert at the Cheesecake Factory,” Brain offered. "Besides, it's a well-documented fact in the scientific community that gamers are only second to animators when it comes to not having a life." 

Pinky crossed his arms and turned his back on Brain with a huff. “Narf! Briberry won’t work on me, mistah! Even if their chocolate and cherry cheesecake is to die for!” 

But Brain could see the jitters running through Pinky’s body, the deal too sweet to ignore. No further negotiations were necessary.  

Three. Two. One… 

"Oh, alright! I can't pass on a good cheesecake!" Pinky exclaimed, licking his lips. "All that squishy, mushy, gooey cheesecake-y goodness…" 

Brain grabbed Pinky roughly around the wrist and dragged him over to a sketch of a radio tower. 

"Getting back on topic, I shall hack the KWB radio tower with the Disruptor, replace their waves with my own, and the tower will naturally amplify the Brain-Fi signal until it reaches all corners of the planet." 

"Wait, how can the planet have corners if it's a circle?" Pinky asked. 

He wasn't even going to grace that with a response, though he took a small amount of comfort in knowing that even Pinky hadn't fallen for those ridiculous flat earth conspiracy theories. 

"And once my monopoly on Brain-Fi comes to fruition, I shall withhold the password until humanity surrenders control of the world to me. They might resist for a time, but they'll soon learn that the fabric of society will crumble without an Internet connection. And the password itself is so complex and intricate that nobody will be able to memorize a random sequencing of letters, numbers, and symbols without my superior intellect." 

"Oh, I was wondering what E!6&*04bWo@8i stood for!" Pinky exclaimed. 

Brain stared at him in shock. Pinky had just recited his unguessable password perfectly! 

"How did you-"

"Dunno. But the processed cheese you wrote it on was very tasty!" Pinky rubbed his stomach in satisfaction. 

"I wrote that on a sticky note, you moron!" Brain snapped. 

He didn't know how eating a sticky note automatically gave Pinky the ability to know his password, but it was clear he'd have to scrap that sequence and create a new one. 

And not write it on a sticky note this time...

It would delay him by fifteen minutes, but he'd take the delay rather than risk Pinky blabbing about his plans on his livestreams. 

"Now, the KWB radio tower is located next to the intersection of LaMarche Avenue and Paulsen Road on the other side of town," Brain said, entering their destination into Google Maps on a smartphone. "Unfortunately, due to a certain rodent's impromptu reenactment of West Side Story, we are now lifetime banned from Uber and all related companies." 

Pinky giggled, completely unperturbed by Brain's irritated glare. "Aww, but you made for such a lovely Tony once that spiked punch loosened you up!" 

Brain groaned, not wanting to be reminded of his inebriation after falling into a bowl of spiked punch during that particular plan. 

“Which leads me to my next point,” Brain said, taking a deep breath. This was the part he dreaded the most. “Given your propensity to mess with my inventions, I’ve determined that it would be best if I hold onto the Disruptor instead of entrusting you with it.” 

Pinky’s ears drooped, his blue eyes wide with shock. “Y-you don’t trust me? Poit.” he asked, a note of desperation in his voice. 

Oh no. Backtrack now or the entire plan goes up in smoke! 

“It’s not like that!” Brain said hastily upon seeing the beginnings of tears forming in those sky-blue eyes. “I…I trust your uncanny ability to get me out of trouble, it’s just that your lack of impulse control will lead you into pushing the shiny button prematurely!” 

The tears vanished, and that stupid, silly smile returned. “Okay, I get it now, Brain!” he said cheerfully. 

Brain counted to ten, but the tears didn’t return, much to his relief. Relief that he wouldn’t have to deal with his plan failing before it was implemented because he swore his plans always failed earlier when Pinky was emotionally incapacitated. 

Crisis averted. 

“Unfortunately, this means I cannot pilot our method of transport to the radio tower since the Disruptor is an incredibly delicate piece of equipment,” Brain said. “As much as it pains me to assign the role of designated driver to you, Pinky, I have no other options in this matter.” 

He refused to dabble in self-driving cars after that fiasco ever again. Let Elon Musk have that niche for all he cared. 

“And you promise you’re not gonna yell at me when I’m driving this time?” Pinky asked. 

Brain nodded confidently. “I have no reason to yell at you when I have personally innovated a child-sized car for our needs today. It will be easier to drive than a full-sized vehicle, and I will be in full control of the situation to ensure that we get to the radio tower in one piece. We won’t have to deal with loops, lava, or your stress level during our outing.” 

Pinky grinned. “Well, in that case, I’d better get ready then! I want to look good on the road!” 

He scampered off before Brain could stop him from turning whatever terrible ideas he had into reality. With a sigh, Brain decided to just let him do what he wanted while he created a new Brain-Fi password and finalized their plans. 

o-o-o-o-o

Pinky was late. Again. Why couldn’t he have a punctual assistant? 

Though Brain knew Pinky had no sense of time whatsoever, he’d set a loud alarm that would blast Night on Bald Mountain to warn Pinky that he needed to hurry up unless he wanted Brain to drag him to the car himself. It would not be pretty, Brain had assured him before Pinky had rushed off to do…whatever inanity he was participating in at the moment. 

Brain impatiently leaned against the child-sized car he’d repurposed. The controls were more refined and suited for a mouse’s size, while the battery was longer lasting. He’d added seat belts, mirrors, and an emergency brake on the shotgun side for extra comfort, in addition to a functioning gear shift to mimic the ones found in full-sized vehicles. 

He’d even given the car a new paint job, which it desperately needed since it had previously been a gaudy hot pink with hearts all over it in a cliche, gender-based marketing attempt towards young girls. The solid red color made it more distinguished, and he’d even painted flames on each side. Though the flames didn’t serve any purpose, he thought it looked cool aesthetically. 

“Ooh, I’m digging the new treads, babe!” a voice singsonged just as the opening fanfare of Night on Bald Mountain played. 

“It’s about time,” Brain grumbled, quickly shutting down the alarm with the press of a button. “Come, Pinky. We’re burning daaaayyy—what in the name of Galileo are you wearing, Pinky?” 

His voice had come out in a squeak, sounding like the wild mouse he used to be instead of a civilized intellectual. 

Pinky grinned, twirling in place and showing off his red, skintight spandex catsuit. The spandex hugged every curve and muscle of his lean body, emphasizing his biceps and calves. 

Brain’s mouth went dry, his heartbeat pounding rapidly-well, he was a mouse, and his species naturally had rapid heartbeats, but surely this couldn’t be healthy, right? Maybe he should perform an EKG on himself later, just to make absolutely sure that he wasn’t developing an acute arrhythmia or any other fatal heart conditions. 

Had a warm front suddenly come through? Why did it feel like the sun was pounding hard on his back, or was that just all the redness he was surrounded by? 

“What do you think, Brain? Feels like I’m wearing nothing at all!” Pinky giggled, his tail waving, tantalizing Brain as it wiggled like a pink worm. And the appendage was located on Pinky’s well-defined a-ahem, gluteus maximus. 

Brain quickly averted his eyes. He needed to think of something else quickly! Plans? No, too complicated. Lists of scientific facts? Better. Hard, undeniable facts that had been arranged into a chart for easy memorization. 

“Hydrogenheliumlithiumberylliumboroncarbon-” 

“Gee, Brain. It’s only seventy-five degrees, but you’re all hot and sweaty!” Pinky said, looking rather concerned. 

Not helping, Pinky! 

“-nickeliodinecesiumkryptonradium-” 

Stupid, se-aesthetically pleasing Pinky in a spandex catsuit, how dare you cause me to recite the periodic table out of order! 

Pinky approached slowly, and Brain couldn’t take his eyes off the taller mouse’s swishing hips, the swagger and confidence in his steps, the innocent yet coy sky-blue eyes- 

“Oh, Brain, don’t you think the car matches my suit perfectly?” Pinky asked teasingly, his tail snaking under Brain’s nose. “Don’t you just love passionate red?”

The ticklish sensation sent uncontrollable sensations throughout Brain’s body, and he came down with a severe case of heatstroke and really needed to cool off right now-

With a loud scream, Brain pushed past Pinky and promptly jumped into the nearest sink. 

o-o-o-o-o

It took one hour, twenty-seven minutes, and eight seconds, but Brain finally made it back to the car. Pinky was still in his red catsuit, but this time around, Brain was more than prepared to combat Pinky’s imbecilic wiles. 

Now he was dressed in a pineapple-print Hawaiian shirt with shorts, a crash helmet to protect himself in case he got thrown out of the car from Pinky’s driving, while a pair of sunglasses thankfully darkened the bright, crimson red of Pinky’s catsuit into something less…distracting. 

“Narrrrrf! Nice touristy look, Brain!” Pinky exclaimed. He was already sitting in the driver’s seat, humming random tunes to himself while he waited. “Oh, but I think a floppy hat would go better with the rest of your outfit instead of that helmet.” 

“As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve taken numerous safety precautions so that I won’t stress you out while you’re driving,” Brain said as he climbed into the car with the Disruptor in hand. Once he was settled, he strapped himself to the seat with a lap belt, followed by a belt that crossed over his torso horizontally, then over-the-shoulder belts on each shoulder. “See this emergency brake I’ve installed on my side? It functions like the type of brake driving instructors use when their incompetent, inexperienced, or clueless students nearly murder them in a horrible, fiery car wreck.” 

Pinky nodded, though Brain was sure anything he said was just in one ear and out the other with him. 

“Now, before I hand you the keys, have you checked and adjusted your mirrors accordingly?” Brain asked. 

Pinky reached for the mirror on the windshield. But instead of making sure he had a good view of the road behind him, he pulled out a tube of lipstick. 

“Almost forgot the ruby red lip gloss!” he said as he applied the lipstick. “Thanks for reminding me, Brain!” 

Brain tried to snatch the tube out of Pinky’s hands, but the multiple seatbelts prevented him from reaching that far, so he was forced to wait impatiently while Pinky proceeded to apply lip gloss, eyeshadow, blush, and eyeliner. 

“Those aren’t vanity mirrors, you nitwit!” Brain shouted, and a panicked Pinky dropped the brush he’d been using to apply a beauty mark. “They’re for helping you keep an eye on the road!” 

Pinky placed his hands on his hips. “Brain, what did we just talk about?” he said in warning. 

That look always had a strange way of inspiring guilt. 

“Don’t yell when you’re driving,” Brain mumbled, and Pinky nodded, satisfied with his response. 

Of course, it made a difference that they were just sitting in the car right now and weren’t actually on the road yet. 

Pinky finally put his makeup away, and Brain continued with his watered down explanation of the car. “This lever right here is-” 

“The prindle!” Pinky interrupted eagerly. He tried to move the gear shift, but since the car wasn’t on, it wouldn’t budge. 

“It’s called a gear shift,” Brain corrected. “The letters aren’t an acronym. They stand for park, reverse, neutral, and drive.” 

His hands clenched around the seatbelts as he tried not to shout. 

Pinky frowned. “It’s not fair that some of the letters get left off the prindle…” 

He sounded really distraught over the nonexistent word. Grumbling to himself about how he really shouldn’t indulge Pinky’s nonsense, Brain unhooked his seatbelts, grabbed the discarded lipstick, and wrote the ‘i’, ‘l’, and ‘e’ onto the gear shift panel. Then he threw the lipstick out of the car and tossed Pinky the keys, quickly strapping himself back into place. 

"Better?" Brain crossed his arms sullenly. 

"Yup, now they're happy!" Pinky exclaimed, finally inserting the keys into the ignition. 

The car came to life, and Brain’s foot slid over to the emergency brake as the engine rumbled. He wasn’t worried. He just had some concerns. That was all. 

“Now, put the car in reverse and…DON’T FLOOR IT!” 

Surprisingly, Pinky had chosen the correct setting on the gear shift. Unfortunately, he hit the accelerator so hard that instead of the slow, steady backout Brain had expected, they careened uncontrollably across the parking lot until there was a loud crash alongside the creaking of dented metal. Brain groaned, rubbing his neck to soothe his case of painful whiplash. 

Pinky giggled nervously. “Oops…” 

As if ‘oops’ was an appropriate response to denting the trunk of their vehicle, ruining the paint job Brain had spent more time than necessary on, and ramming down the front doors of ACME Labs. 

Brain glared at Pinky, ready to undo his seat belts so he could reach over to the driver’s side and bop him for his recklessness, but then he noticed a security guard stomping over to them while thumping a baton in his hand. 

“Don’t you vandalizing punks have anything better to do?” the security guard roared. “Get off the property or I’m calling the cops!”    

“DRIVE, PINKY, DRIVE!” Brain shouted, shifting the gear to drive in Pinky’s stead, and Pinky’s lead foot saved them from the security guard’s wrath. Brain gasped as he was thrown back into his seat from the sudden acceleration, still not recovered from his whiplash as the vehicle raced across the lot, grass, and finally, mercifully onto the main street. 

“WHOO-HOO!” Pinky screamed joyfully, spinning the wheel so hard that the entire left side of the car tilted upwards as they took a sharp bend in the road at sixty miles an hour. 

His tongue lolled out like a dog who enjoyed flopping its tongue in the wind, flecks of disgusting saliva getting everywhere. Brain shielded his face from the onslaught of bodily fluid. 

Consumed by panic, Brain nearly forgot about the existence of the emergency brake, only remembering when his foot brushed against the metal. 

He immediately slammed on the brake, yelping when physics naturally threw him forward in his seat, the seatbelts briefly cutting off his air supply. Pinky’s bulbous nose smacked against the steering wheel, emitting a loud honk, which made Pinky laugh in delight as he repeatedly smacked the horn with his face several more times. 

“Pinky, I didn’t slam the brake just so you can murder your remaining neuroreceptors!” Brain snapped. 

“Narf! But it’s so fun, Brain! Let’s do it again!” Pinky begged. He was having way too much with this near-death experience. 

Brain sighed, wondering which cruel lab experiment had killed Pinky’s sense of self-preservation. 

“Absolutely not,” he said. “You are going to follow my directions, you will not go above the posted speed limit, and you will not get us turned into bloody, dismembered pancakes on the road for precautionary driver safety films.” 

Pinky’s nose wrinkled. “Bloody pancakes would only taste good to a vampire. I prefer maple syrup, chocolate, and bacon-flavored pencils with mine, thanks.” 

There was no point in responding to that non-sequitur. 

“Now, when I let go of the brake, you are going to gently press the accelerator, and you will turn right on Welker Road,” Brain said. “Understand?” 

Pinky nodded. 

But they still weren’t moving, even though from the loud roar of the engine, Pinky was pressing down on the accelerator. 

“Um, Brain? Aren’t you gonna let go of the brake?” Pinky asked. 

Belatedly, Brain realized his foot was still on the emergency brake. He chuckled nervously. “O-of course, the brake,” he stammered. “The brake that’s keeping us from moving forward on this plan. That brake.”

Pinky frowned. “Are you sure you’re okay with me driving? We could switch-” 

“No!” Brain said, a little too loudly. His shout drew the attention of an elderly man sitting on his porch, who waved his cane and yelled at the pesky youth to shut up and get off his property. “No, that’s okay. I need to hold onto the Disruptor. Just go.” 

Pinky just gave him an odd look. “Maybe you could calm yourself down with impressions? Cause I know I’m just gonna get worked up if you’re nervous.” 

It was starting to feel cramped with this many seatbelts covering him, so Brain released the one that crossed his chest. He could breathe a little easier now. 

Being nervous would only make Pinky nervous, and a nervous Pinky would be a reckless Pinky. What he needed was a way to keep both of them calm.

And while it was a blow to his dignity, he did know a certain method that could certainly keep Pinky calm while he drove. 

“I could...sing, if that would calm you down,” Brain offered. Something in his chest fluttered at the little smile Pinky gave him. “But I reserve the right to reject any requests.” 

Pinky grinned. “Alright, let me see,” he tapped the side of his head as if that would somehow stimulate his empty, fluff-filled head. “Songs…songs…ooh, how about Take Me Home, Country Roads? Love that one!” 

Though there were certainly worse songs Pinky could’ve suggested (he would never understand why Pinky liked to sing that insipid California Girls song so much), he’d never thought Pinky was the sort of mouse who was interested in classic country. 

“How do you know about the musical stylings of John Denver, Pinky?” Brain asked. 

Pinky’s tail wagged. “Oh, it might be an oldie, Brain, but it’s a very popular song to use in memes these days!” 

Memes. That explained it.

Brain took a deep breath, his foot sliding off the emergency brake. 

“Almost heaven, West Virginia. 

Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River…”  

His voice came out weaker than he’d intended, but Pinky’s tail started to thump in time against the seat, keeping a steady, supportive beat. 

The car gently rolled forward. 

“Country roads, take me home,

To the place, I belong

West Virginia, mountain mama, 

Take me home, country roads.” 

As promised, Pinky kept his speed below forty, slowing down considerably as they approached the traffic light that marked Welker Road. Though Pinky didn’t use his turn signal and accidentally cut off an SUV as he merged right, the irate driver making an obscene gesture, he more than made up for it with a relatively smooth right turn.  

“Not bad,” Brain admitted. Maybe Pinky could be a good driver when he tried. 

Pinky smiled. “Thanks, Brain. I think I’m getting the hang of this!” 

“Now get into the left lane as quickly as you can,” Brain directed. “The left turn on Albuquerque Street is quickly approaching.” 

“But a left turn can’t move. It’s just a left turn,” Pinky said, and he yanked the steering wheel to the right, the car bumping against the curb with a harsh scraping noise. 

Brain hastily gripped the door to steady himself, taking back everything he said about Pinky being a good driver. “Don’t blow out the tires, you directionally-challenged dunderhead!” he shouted. “Left is on your other side! And put on your turn signal before you merge!” 

Pinky’s fingers tightened on the wheel, his breathing growing heavier. 

Wracking his mind for a celebrity impression that would calm Pinky down, Brain swallowed his pride. 

“And here we follow two lab mice in their tireless quest for world domination,” he narrated, not sure why David Attenborough was the first to pop into his head. “As they fearlessly venture out of their natural habitat of a cold, sterile laboratory and into the polluted, smog-filled streets of Burbank, California, they must overcome many obstacles in order to make it to their destination.” 

Pinky’s breathing evened out, his grip on the wheel becoming looser. David Attenborough’s soothing narration was working like a charm. 

“The mouse behind the wheel puts on his turn signal and waits for the opportunity to change lanes. He checks his mirrors and glances over his shoulder, knowing that Albuquerque Street is a mere fifty feet ahead. He must act swiftly if he is to make the left turn on time…” 

This time, Pinky took the merge slower…perhaps a little too slow. He was forced to yank the wheel back as a sleek, obnoxiously yellow convertible sped past at what must’ve been ninety miles an hour, its teenage inhabitants whooping and hollering with glee, uncaring of etiquette on the road. The toxic exhaust spewing from the convertible’s tailpipe blew into their faces, making both of them cough and wave away the gas that obscured their vision. 

When it finally cleared, Brain glanced at the traffic light behind them, realizing that they missed their turn for Albuquerque Street. 

Pinky’s ears lowered, and Brain knew he needed to act now lest Pinky’s emotions inconvenienced him behind the wheel. 

“Despite the murine driver’s valiant effort, they have missed their left turn in an overt reference to a certain lagomorph’s poor navigational abilities. However, the fault lies with the teenage, animalistic hooligans who have likely wrecked ten BMWs with their sheer recklessness, while their spineless parents buy them new, expensive cars without consequences and the apathetic judicial system refuses to prosecute them due to their affluence, much to the detriment of polite society.” 

Despite the setback, Pinky managed to take a left turn three lights away from their original target, his ears thankfully pointing to the sky. 

As Brain recalculated their route, figuring that it would be approximately three minutes and seventeen seconds for them to get back to Albuquerque Street so they could continue down the most efficient way to the radio tower, he caught the flash of headlights from behind a billboard of a fast food restaurant. 

His heart sank as a police car emerged from behind its hiding place, rocketing up behind them with its headlights blazing. 

"Wonderful," Brain grumbled. "Just wonderful."

"Don't worry, Brain," Pinky said, his earlier apprehension vanishing, eyes narrowing in determination. "They'll never take us alive." 

Brain glared at him, his foot pressing down on the emergency brake, bringing the car to a gradual stop. 

“We are not getting into a high-speed police chase when we have an instrument as delicate as the Disruptor,” Brain growled, forcefully moving the gear shift into park. Fortunately, he’d packed a driver’s license and insurance information he’d raided from the car of a lab technician. “Just hand these documents to the officer, and if he gives you a ticket, I’ll forward it to ACME’s financial department.” 

Pinky glanced at the driver’s license and insurance form Brain had given him, cringing at the photo of a woman caught mid-blink. “They really didn’t capture her good side…” he said.  

“If you think this is unflattering, you should’ve seen Dr. Casey’s license photo.” Brain wished he could scrub that particular image out of his mind forever. 

“Nah, that’s okay. I’ll take your word for it,” Pinky said, checking his reflection in the mirror again. “Besides, I’ve got an idea.” 

That didn’t bode well. 

“Whatever you’re thinking, it’s a bad idea.” 

But Pinky just batted his eyelashes and winked. Brain folded his arms, trying to keep his face neutral as he ignored his flirtations. 

The police officer got out of his car, an official clipboard in hand as he approached the mice’s vehicle. His eyes were covered by a pair of shades, a stern frown on his face as he peered down at the mice. 

“License and insurance,” he demanded. Pinky handed over the forms, standing up in his seat to stretch as the officer read over the information. 

Unfortunately, that meant his bottom was sticking out like a sore thumb, his very well defined muscles outlined along the crimson catsuit. 

“Pinky, sit down!” Brain hissed, unbuckling his seat belts and latching onto his tail to pull him down so he wouldn’t have to view such a display. 

“Pinky?” the officer said in surprise. “Your license says your name is Arianna. State your full name and birthdate, now. And I’m not in the mood for games or jokes. I lost my sense of humor in…the accident.” 

Brain mentally kicked himself for not reviewing the stolen license with Pinky before they went out. 

“Haha,” Pinky laughed nervously, a bead of sweat trickling down his forehead. “I’m…um…I-I-I-I’m-” 

The officer’s pen snapped impatiently in his hand. Brain leaned a little closer, trying to get close enough to discreetly whisper ‘Arianna Armstrong, September 23, 1987,’ in his ear, when Pinky suddenly screamed. 

“PREGNANT!”  

“WHAT?” Brain and the officer shouted at the same time as a screeching Pinky dramatically fell onto his back while clutching his stomach, yowling at the top of his lungs and drawing strange looks from passersby. 

“THE BABY’S COMING!” Pinky wailed, tears running down his face, his body spasming uncontrollably. “CALL DOCTOR HOUSE! DOCTOR STRANGELOVE! DOCTOR DOOLITTLE! SOMEBODY! ANYBODY!” 

Brain knelt down next to Pinky, nervously smiling at the officer from mortification at being forced into the role of a worried spouse in order to escape their predicament. He grabbed Pinky’s hand, nearly crying out himself from Pinky’s death grip. 

“Now, now, my-ow! My dear,” Brain grimaced, certain that Pinky was breaking all the bones in his hand as his breathing grew frantic and heavy. “Try to hold the baby in-” 

He yelped when Pinky’s muzzle suddenly smashed into his face. “Hold in? HOLD IN? EASY FOR YOU TO SAY! YOU WEREN’T CARRYING THE BABY FOR NINE WHOLE MONTHS! HE WANTS OUT!” 

Brain shoved Pinky’s face away from him. “Actually, the average gestation period for mice is twenty da-” a sharp squeeze cut him off  “-just calm down, dear!” 

“DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, YOU BIGHEADED, ZIGZAG-TAILED, SMARTYPANTSY, CHUBBY MOUSE!” 

Alright, that last one was just low. 

Before Brain could tell Pinky to tone down his Oscar-worthy performance, something metallic snapped around his body. Moments later, a similar metallic band clamped onto Pinky’s waist. 

“To think my coworkers laughed at me for carrying size extra-extra-extra petite handcuffs,” the officer remarked as he hoisted them into the air by the chain linking each end of the handcuff together. “And I’ll be confiscating your cell phone.” 

Brain shouted as the Disruptor was wrenched out of his grip and thrown to the asphalt, where it broke into a hundred pieces, sadly fated to join the discarded fast food wrappers and ripped plastic bags that lined the polluted streets. 

His ears drooped. So much for the plan. 

“Excuse me, officer?” Pinky said, dropping his pregnancy facade. “Do these handcuffs happen to come in pink and fuzzy?” 

Brain wanted to find the nearest sewer grate, squeeze into the opening, and live among the rats and darkness forever. 

Thankfully, the officer didn’t answer Pinky’s question.

“You’re being arrested for identity theft, driving a car with no plates, and crimes against fashion,” the officer announced as he roughly threw them into the back of the police car. “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.” 

“Told ya you should’ve gone with the floppy hat, Brain,” Pinky said, a little too smugly for Brain’s liking. 

Scowling, Brain pushed himself into a sitting position, yanking on the chain to knock Pinky off his feet as karma for his ridiculous show. The officer hadn’t said anything about Pinky’s fake pregnancy act. 

Don’t tell me he actually fell for it… 

“So you’re just going to roughly manhandle and arrest a pregnant woman in labor like that?” Brain demanded. “That’s complete depravity!” 

The officer shrugged. “Eh, I have an arrest quota to meet.” 

The car door slammed shut. 

So much for appealing to his humanity.  

Brain folded his arms, glaring at the officer outside the window, who’d turned on his communicator and was now bragging about his latest arrest to his supervisor. 

“Pinky?” Brain said. Pinky stopped trying to lick his elbow, his gaze snapping to Brain attentively. “Remind me to abolish the police once I rule the world.” 

“Okay, I’ll remember!” Pinky cheerfully saluted Brain. 

Now to plot an escape route. The side doors were locked, not that it would’ve done any good when the officer could easily catch them. 

Then Brain glanced towards the front, past the barrier that separated the officers from their detainees. 

The keys were still in the ignition. And from the slight vibrations in the seat, the car was simply idling instead of completely off. 

Honestly, this was a whole new level of stupidity that shouldn’t have been possible. Yet to Brain, it was also an opportunity that shouldn’t be wasted. 

Now they just had to break through the barrier…

And once Brain spotted the big, shiny button that read ‘press here to turn on siren’ just below the radio, he knew exactly how to break through. 

“Look at that big, shiny button over there, Pinky,” Brain said, grabbing Pinky’s head and pointing it straight towards the button. Pinky’s pupils dilated until the black space ate up nearly all the blue, his gaze fixated on his target. “See how it’s waiting to be pressed? And did I mention how big and shiny it is?” 

“It’s calling me, Brain,” Pinky said, his entire body twitching in excitement. “So big…and shiny…shiny…SHINY!” 

Unable to contain himself, he leapt off the seat, and Brain realized his mistake too late. 

“Wait, not so fast! NOT SO FAST!” Brain screeched, forgetting that the handcuffs were still linking their bodies together, and physics unfortunately pulled him alongside Pinky’s momentum. 

Pinky laughed maniacally as he punched a hole through the barrier, leaping through the empty hole and dragging Brain behind him. Though the crash helmet protected him from any glass slivers, the tugging was still quite uncomfortable. 

Pinky slammed headfirst into the glowing button, killing whatever neurons he had left. The siren shrieked loudly above them, bathing the outside in a revolving red and blue light. Brain seized the opportunity, pushing the gear shift into drive. 

The car rolled forward. Pinky happily imitated the siren noise before Brain grabbed his muzzle to shut him up. 

Outside, there was a shout of surprise and several loud thumps. The officer was shouting into his communicator while trying to keep hold of the door handle with his other, desperately trying to break in, though the doors were completely locked from the outside. 

Brain jumped down to the pedals, throwing his body weight against the accelerator for an extra burst of speed. The officer’s loud profanity-laden tirade faded into the distance as he was forced to let go of his own car. 

Brain could only picture the look on the supervisor’s face while he received a very lengthy explanation on how exactly one of his underlings managed to get carjacked by two mice. 

“Pinky, take the steering wheel!” Brain ordered. “Report everything you see! I’ll handle the pedals!”  

“Narf!” Pinky exclaimed, slipping out of the handcuffs with ease and scurrying to the top of the wheel. 

Unfortunately, Brain didn’t have the equipment required to drive a human-sized car. They’d just have to wing it. If only he could slip out of these handcuffs as easily as Pinky!

“Aww, there’s a lady pushing her chihuahua in a stroller! And there’s a dad who’s got his kid on a leash backpack! He’s got his hands full! Lemme see…oh, that’s not good at all!” 

“Pinky, I want locations! Landmarks! Any approaching cars or red lights!” Brain shouted. “I don’t care about people-watching!”  

“But that woman just threw an entire grande caramel frappuccino at some guy and stormed off! I really wanna know what happened!” 

“Just accept that you aren’t privy to some random couple’s spat and tell me if we’re approaching any traffic!” 

He reminded himself to never position Pinky on top again. 

“Red light! No, wait, I think that’s green! Nope, it’s red…er…on second thought, I’m pretty sure that’s green…” 

“MAKE UP YOUR NONEXISTENT MIND, PINKY! IS IT RED OR GREEN?” 

“I DON’T KNOW, OKAY? I’M COLORBLIND!” 

Pinky sounded like he was on the verge of a breakdown. Frustrated, Brain stopped throwing his weight against the pedals, though he struggled to climb up the seat due to the weight of the handcuffs. 

“Help me onto the steering wheel so we can switch places!” Brain yelled. 

Pinky nodded, though he tried to climb down using the steering wheel, which had the unfortunate side effect of turning the car to the right. 

Sirens blared, people screamed, vehicles honked, and brakes screeched as the police car spun out of control. Pinky shrieked as he tumbled off the wheel and onto the seat, while Brain clung to a small lever for dear life. 

His entire world was one constant, dizzying blur, but it only lasted until there was a loud crash from the front, finally bringing them to a complete stop. He wasn’t sure how far they’d traveled, or how damaged their stolen vehicle was, but he was glad it was finally over. 

Pinky was never driving again. Ever. 

“Ha! That was the most silly-willy fun I’ve ever had driving, Brain! My favorite part was turning on the siren! Narf!” Pinky laughed as he finally helped Brain onto the seat, like he hadn’t just put them in mortal danger with his recklessness. 

A pit of rage boiled in Brain upon seeing that stupid, ridiculous smile. His fists balled against his sides. 

“So what are we gonna do tomorrow night, Brain?” Pinky asked. Brain didn’t respond just yet, taking advantage of Pinky’s distraction to discreetly open the other end of the handcuffs so he could finally get back at Pinky for not following directions, being an idiot in general, and for his earlier chubby comment. “Brain?” 

Pinky’s eyes widened as Brain pointed the open end of the handcuffs in his direction. 

“The same thing we do every night, Pinky,” Brain replied. “But before taking over the world, my thirst for revenge must be quenched.”

“Well…you look like you could use a tall glass of water, Brain…”      

o-o-o-o-o

Teresa always walked with little Timmy on this route through the suburbs for some fresh air and sunshine. He was always a bundle of energy, and exercise always helped tire him out so it wouldn’t take forever to put him to bed. 

“Don’t go too far!” Teresa warned when her son inevitably ran ahead. 

Being a five-year old, he still wasn’t good at listening and disappeared around the next corner. She cursed under her breath as she caught up to him, reminding herself that a good mom probably shouldn’t be saying those words around impressionable children. 

To her surprise, Timmy had stopped next to a parked police car, which had several dents in the hood and along the side doors. It had definitely seen better days.  

“Don’t give me a heart attack before I turn forty,” Teresa scolded as she grabbed Timmy’s hand. 

But that begged the question of why exactly a battered police car was idling here in the middle of the neighborhood. 

There didn't appear to be anyone inside…or so she thought, until she heard low, furious growls and high-pitched, squeaky laughter, alongside the sound of rattling chains. 

“HOLD STILL SO I CAN HURT YOU, PINKY!” 

“HEEHEE! NARF! OH, BRAIN!” 

“Mommy, what’s the policeman doing in there?” Timmy asked innocently. 

Honestly, did people have no decency? They oughta be ashamed of themselves! Didn’t they ever think about the poor, innocent children anymore? 

“Walk away, Timmy,” Teresa said as she quickly led her son away from the violently bouncing, rattling police car, scandalized that the police would allow such deviants on their force. “Just walk away.” 

End AN: This one is a lot more reboot-based than my other stories, mostly for comedic purposes. 

Stupid sexy Pinky and flustered Brain galore in this story lol. 

Apologies to any gamers and animators I’ve offended. 

Brain trying to recite the periodic table comes from a gag in Fullmetal Alchemist where Ed tries to distract himself from thinking about Winry.

Pinky freaking out is fun. My favorite gag to write in this story was the fake pregnancy bit, in addition to Brain bribing Pinky with the Cheesecake Factory. 

#pinky and the brain #patb fanfiction

[dokpetra]

Ive def been in a slump lately and its hard to admit that :(

I had a mental breakdown following my birthday, I've had to move apartments, and I've had some intense family stuff going on. Helps to externalize it.

It's weirding me out to confront all the stuff I had my identity tied up in, that isn't carved in stone. Like I am not my bedroom. I am not my job, I am not my biofamily. Idk. Identity is seedy territory for me in a pretty lifelong way, in this age of identity I think it's come front and center for me that my self concept is like a piece of swiss cheese. I attach parts of myself to people places and things around me, and when those things change, so do I, and changing hurts sometimes.

But a lot of that has been in flux for me, for a minute I was unable to work and worried I might not be able to come back to it, I hadn't ever lost my mind as bad as I did a couple months ago, it was really frightening to be newly limited in my daily functioning due to my mental state.

Coming back to a new normal now, and idk, everything in my life is in relief, I'm looking all around me and feeling the ever faster passage of time, looking at how much energy I have in a day, and just going "how am I going to build the life I want?" And feeling like the numbers just don't add up.

But I'm not giving up on myself. I don't do well with change, I gotta be gentle with myself through that. And I can get to a place where I have more energy, and I know steps I can take to get there. And I can accept also that I have lifelong depression etc etc, and to some extent this may put a cap on my energy level.

Part of it is, before everything went topsy turvy, I was making a really concentrated effort to work on composing music daily, releasing stuff for the first time too. As far as things that I take on as part of my identity, this is an important one, and I haven't been giving the time I need to it. For sensible reason, moving sucks, especially in your 30s it turns out, and starting job again and being there for my family. And as was saying earlier, I want to make sure I don't push myself too hard, have tendency to do that. Still, it's feeling like, urgent to get my studio station set up and get right back to it. I don't expect anything from the music I release, I just need to do it, it's who I am and when I'm not doing it I'm not being myself.

Guess part of this puzzle for me is reckoning with how I am both bigger and smaller than I used to see myself as. Like, the combo of ego problems and low self esteem is so ironic. And the process of breaking down your ego while building your self esteem, it feels so wonky. But yeah, I matter. I only matter as much as the next person, but me and the next person both matter. And someone who feels like they matter is more likely to treat others like they matter. So it's important work.

Couple months ago I spent the better part of a week in my bed, not able to eat or sleep, on an internal manic fugue, lost myself on a fundamental level. To be back from that, I wish I felt more triumphant, but I'm just tired and sad about it. I can't glorify that suffering. It happened and I came out the other side a different iteration of this person. I saw how traumatized I actually am and idk, I'm more determined than ever to come up to bat for that person. My self.

So I may have felt like my ideal life was in closer reach prior to all this upset, but I don't think that's true. I believe that I believed it, but it wasn't accurate.

And what good is my dream room when it's packed with plenty of heavy memories and too expensive for me? Could it be better to be in a smaller, brighter room I can actually afford? I'm still resistant but I know it's true.

Healing can be humbling and the humbling factor can feel unfair when you're already down on yourself but... Idk! If my spirit made it through the trials of that week in bed hell, it can get through these transitions.

It's okay to be in limbo because limbo can lead you somewhere new.

So I feel kinda crappy at this juncture, and also, I believe in myself going forward, I know I can make my life into what i dream.

#personal #long ramble

[jackwolfes]

“Blanket agreement,” Jesper offers, waving a hand lazily like it doesn’t take all that much thought. Matthias’ head is spinning. “Just for friends, because he gets drunk and likes to kiss Roeder.” 

this is a follow up to a new kind of understanding

–

He’s a small kid, but Wylan’s age. His talents are better suited to shadows, which Wylan just can’t relate to. The skills he has, well, by their very nature they banish darkness with a pop and a bang. 

Roeder is different.

He listens more than he talks, but that’s okay. Wylan doesn’t mind. He has a big mouth when he’s drunk, and usually when he sees Roeder, he’s drunk. 

It’s a sideways slide on his chair that ends up resting his forehead on Jesper’s shoulder. Vaguely, Wylan hears someone laugh, and doesn’t think it’s the man below him, but he also doesn’t care. He’s not too drunk. He could walk home on his own and be plenty safe. He just also knows that he’d be most pleased if Jesper took him home himself, by the cart at the end of one of the smaller canals along the way that sells hot potato pieces with cheese.

“Having fun?” Jesper murmurs. 

“Yeah,” Wylan replies. He thinks he’s close to slurring his words, maybe. Who knows? “The most fun, Jes.” 

And he is– the middle of the Crow Club is a place he likes being, surrounded by friends in all forms. He grins, eyes slipping shut as he floats along in the noise of people, people, people. He hears Jesper laugh again, chest jostling his cheek where it rests on his shoulder. 

“I’ll get you water,” Jesper laughs. Wylan frowns. 

“I can get myself my own water,” he complains. Now he thinks voice is definitely slurred, and he doesn't want to think about that, because Jesper will tease him for it and he doesn’t want to be teased. Already when he pulls back he can see a fond smile on his face, a stupid grin that he loves so much. 

“You don’t have to,” Jesper says, but Wylan is stubborn. He sits up, and Jesper shifts, and Wylan– he’s certainly not having that. He reaches a hand out to press against Jesper’s waist, all but shoving him backwards on his chair. He hears his boyfriend chuckle. “Okay, okay,” Jesper yields. He raises his hands. Wylan stands on wobbly legs, nodding like he can assure himself he’s fine. Jesper laughs again. “Don’t fall.”

Wylan ignores him, but doesn’t fall.

He gets water from the bar and feels flush with the noise, the heat. A bit too flush. Ghezen, he’s warm, and he doesn’t quite want to think about the fact that inevitably someone will tell him it’s just because he’s drunk. He knows he’s drunk, and knows that the fact he’s warm is a different thing altogether – the people, the bodies, the noise. 

Maybe it’s also because he’s drunk. 

Either way, he makes his way out the back door of the club, slipping past people with his cup of water left somewhere. He doesn’t even stumble, and finds himself a bit too proud. He just pushes the door open and sinks into the breath of cool air. 

For a moment, Wylan just stands there. He breathes in the night air, the clear sky, the little tucked away corner of the alley looking out onto a tiny little canal that runs behind the East Stave. Carefully, he perches himself on a low stone wall – not directly above the water, because he isn’t stupid, but not far from it. He hears the quiet splashing waves of a browboat, just gone.

Roeder is small. He’s slight, and best suited to the shadows. Never once has he actually explained how he came to be in Ketterdam, but that tracks for a Spider. Wylan doesn’t pry. 

Roeder is quiet, too, and like every good spider, his voice is a surprise. 

“Are you okay?” 

His voice is soft. It carries on the night air exactly how he wants it to: he’s getting better at that. No Inej, of course not, but not bad as far as spiders go. He makes Wylan startle, just a little bit, and doesn’t even apologise. To appear without anyone being any wiser might just be all a spider really needs to do.

He blinks, looking up to see him tucked into his coat, standing where Wylan had just been. He wonders if he’s been followed. He finds it hard to focus on the thought. 

Instead, Wylan tips his head to the side. He doesn’t really mean to, but can’t quite help it. Carefully, he nods. “Just sort of drunk,” he offers. Roeder smiles. His laugh is silent. Wylan looks up at him. 

They’re friends, and that’s a strange, novel thing. Friends. Not friends in the way Wylan is friends with Kaz and Inej, or Nina, or Matthias, and certainly not the way in which he’s friends with Jesper. The six of them are friends in the most soul-shattering, total way, and Wylan feels them like a part of himself. 

He’s friends with Roeder in a different way, because Roeder is different from all of his friends, and that’s a delightful thing. Wylan has variety, options, choice. He has friends, and plenty of them – his closest friends, but plenty more that like him, that he likes. Anika and Keeg, Pim, Rotty, Roeder. He’s nineteen in a few weeks and the head of an empire, vibrant in his youth and delighted by all the options for a life he has laid out before him. There’s none of the isolated loneliness he had as a boy, hiding away and trying as hard as he could to manage the whims of his father. 

Wylan kisses Roeder first. 

It’s a blanket agreement, and Wylan can’t really remember the first time it was brought up. He thinks it was him that said it, because Jesper’s never been one to talk about fancying other people. It must have been Wylan, then, and he thinks – vaguely – that he can remember humming and laughing and saying, he’s cute, and Jesper offering out the opportunity. You can kiss him, if you want.

Wylan had wanted. 

Just for friends, because friends understand he’s in love with Jesper and just kissing them to kiss them. Just friends, although really, he isn’t kissing that many people. Anika had laughed and offered, and he’d wrinkled up his nose, and she’d kissed the top of his forehead and said he was missing out, but left it. He hadn’t minded. 

But Roeder–

Wylan pushes his hands through his hair, silky-soft and dark black. He thinks he’s part Shu, even with a Kerch name, but Roeder never said and Wylan never asked. He doesn’t care to ask, and doesn’t even really care to talk. All he does is sink into the kiss with the taste of delight on his lips. He hums. 

It’s strange. He’d kissed a few boys before being dragged by a Barrel boss out to Fjerda – a tutor once, a kitchen boy, the councilman’s grandson out in the meadow behind an old house down south, when half the families on the Council had decided to go off on a weekend away when Wylan was fourteen. 

He hadn’t liked any of them, not like he likes Jesper – but they hadn’t even been friends. There had been no attraction, no arousal, not at that age. Just innocent curiosity, and a knowledge that he wanted things plenty of other boys didn’t seem to want – except some did, and they kissed him back. 

They’d been different to Jesper, and they’re different still to Roeder.

The backdoor of the Club bangs open with noise – too much, too sudden. Roeder steps away first. Wylan blinks, startled by the absence of a warm body in front of him, fingers still feeling the soft press of his hair. He looks up to the door on instinct, now that he’s flooded with light, and sees Jesper blink – probably surprised to see Wylan out here. 

When he looks back, Roeder’s gone. 

“I thought you ran off,” Jesper says. He’s half-scolding, but not really: mostly just laughing. Wylan sways. He’s lightheaded. His lips tingle. Oh, he wants to keep being kissed stupid. Jesper’s eyes glint like he’s realised, and understood. “Where’d Roeder go?” 

“Don’t know,” Wylan manages. He’s a little bit dizzy. 

“I know you’re out here, you little skiv,” Jesper calls, still laughing. “You don’t have to keep hiding whenever I show up.”

He doesn’t get a reply. 

Jesper scoffs, but Wylan can tell that he’s fond. He likes Roeder too, just– in a different way than Wylan does. He steps closer to Wylan anyway, and kisses him gently on the lips. Wylan hums. 

This is perfect.  

“Bye, Roeder,” he calls into the night. Then he giggles, and Jesper loops an arm around his waist, keeping him upright when his body starts to tip and list towards the floor. He doesn’t get a reply to that either, but that’s okay. 

Jesper takes him home.

#wesper #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #six of crows #soc #crooked kingdom #fics

[muuurder]

Finally, someone who doesn’t baby Brahms all the time! I literally got giggly with your headcanons bc I think the same for him as well. A lot of people keep watering down his character as the “man baby who can’t cook, clean himself, or do this or that” and it’s kinda frustrating to see others not understanding his character more when writing about him, especially since there’s evidence he’s capable of a lot of things. I actually find it quite funny when people draw Brahms that way however when it comes to writing him… Anyways, I would love to hear more of your headcanons! It fills my hyperfixation on him (as there’s literally only 1-2 posts each day for Brahms).

Also if you don’t mind, you can skip this part if you want, what do you think about the theory of Brahms parents starting the fire in order to cover up what Brahms did? I’m staying on neutral ground for this but I do think it’s an interesting theory.

It’s funny you mention that theory 👀

So for me personally I don’t exactly think it was to cover it up, but I do think they started it. Personally, I retcon everything that is the boy 2 (though I loved the main character child who was mute. He did amazing but I think it was shit writing and a cop out because the actor who played brahms pulled out and for good reason too.) so without acknowledging the second movie here’s my personal take. I am currently a psych student (and while I am very much not an expert like I can’t stress it enough I’ve got Swiss cheese brain,) and from what little I’ve learned usually children who were at brahms age (8 years old) aren’t exactly capable of processing death. Obviously it varies case to case but on an overall scale, he’s not able to comprehend it. I personally think Emily cripps death was an accident. Maybe they went to play in the woods rough houses and she fell cracking her skull open. Or maybe she was picking at him (cause honestly emily looks older than brahms. Grant it girls tend to grow taller first compared to boys, but overall she looks like she’s 10.) and I personally think brahms has autism and/or bpd (I touched on it In another ask I did you might have to sift through my blog. Sorry it’s a chaotic enigma of everything I love lol.) but I think he might have been forced to hang around her for family ties and potential future relations (arranged marriages etc etc.) this was inspired a bit by a fic I read though I forget the name of it. If I find it I’ll post it. But I think he might not have enjoyed being around her as much as Everyone believed. His father describes him even at a young age as “odd” which to me feels like they had a son late in life and he wasn’t neurotypical. He is less sociable, doesn’t fit into their rich lavish life and fit the perfect image they have. So I think there was already resentment a little? So imagine their reaction if Emily was playing and picking at him, maybe he pushed her and she fell. After all her head was cracked open. If she fell and rolled off the rocks she hit it could look the same. A lot of Emily’s death is rumor and gossip in the town. Imagine brahms nudging her thinking she just fell asleep but she’s not moving. He gets freaked and runs back fussing she won’t wake up and she’s being mean. Alarm bells are going off for his parents. I think they didn’t like their son because they clearly hated it he deviated. They were strict, had a specific image and didn’t make much room for change that was clear as hell in how they treated greta and brahms if I’m honest. And I think it’s fucking weird his parents deadass didn’t tell anyone and participated and hosted a search party for a girl they likely knew was dead. I think they were more worried about how this would look and instead of getting their son help even if it was intentional (though again that’s still on them because they fucked up somewhere in parenting, though again I believe it was purely accidental) and with this new situation coupled with previous resentment over their son not being normal (aka I Headcanon his parents are ableist) they had their son wait somewhere. Locked him in, and didn’t realize he knew the walls because he explored in his free time. And they set it on fire before the police could show up to question the young boy. (Because btw he wouldn’t have been tried as an adult. He’s too young and again can’t even conceptualize death let alone fucking fake it like ???? That was his parents.) and I think they had no fucking clue he was alive until they heard him calling from in the walls now with burns. And even the. They didn’t get him medical attention they stuffed him in the walls and pretended he wasn’t there as he grew. They gave themselves a do over because they felt they fucked up and that’s why their son was how he was. Their love was and has always been fucking conditional. That’s my personal take of a theory.

As far as a Headcanon, I’m reaching a text limit so have this one: he about cried the first time he had a fresh meal out of the walls. Potatoes just aren’t the same after their frozen and he simply can’t go back. He loves hot home cooking (pair that with southern cooking he’s inlove lol)

#I’m on mobile #and I hit enter and it made a huge gap idk why #rip if it looks fucked up #I’m southern (United States) #so good old home cooking after eating shitty bland frozen food left overs #that are child size portions??? yeah #he can’t go back #at all #also isn’t a picky eater #p sure he’s from south England too #that’s where the accent usually is from in England #quinn speaks #brahms headcanons #idk is this a meta analysis #brahms the doll #brahms hillshire #brahms heelshire #brahms #brahms the boy #the boy movie #the boy 2016 #the boy #anon ask #i love you anon #anonymous

[xyzzysqrl]

Someone sent me this ask game, so I guess I'll pass it on:

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! (If you want to)

SO.

Nobody reblogs things from me, so I give you (tumblr) permission - If you wanna do this, do it, say I put you up to it. The world cannot stop you.

FIVE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY (by Xyzzifer K.Q. Sqrlmoggington)

Video games

The video game industry is poop from a butt, but video games themselves are better, more accessible, and there's MORE of them than ever before in human history. Roughly eight hundred billion video games a minute are uploaded to stores, slapped on free web pages, or just materializing out of the aether onto people's hard drives and they're all amazing and they keep happening.

Nothing can stop this from happening. Even if there's an industry-wide AAA-gaming crash, indies will continue making games as they have for ages. It is unstoppable, it is wonderful.

Streaming

Hi I stream video games. So this is closely tied to the previous entry but it's my list so I'm doin' the thing anyway. I've been streaming since roughly two years ago and it feels good+cool to do so. I get to open a video window, play a video game, and just dump the entire contents of my brain on anyone watching. Sometimes they prompt me with stuff to ramble on about. It's the best. The one downside is that I do it every night except Monday so I have very little blogging energy anymore. S'fine I don't mind. Lately I've been playing Islets (a really gorgeous Metroidvania) and Star Ocean Second Story R (a remake of a favorite, incredibly breakable JRPG from my young days).

Anime

Have you heard of anime? It's straight from Japan, totally unexpected, not kids stuff. I love a lot of anime. Frieren is last season's darling, sure, but it's also extremely heartfelt and earnest in a way that a lot of more cynical shows would not dare to touch. A giant robot will always make my soul soar, so shows like Gaogaigar or last season's Bravern sparkle to me. I've been watching Back Arrow lately, it's about a dude everybody calls "Baka Yaro" (or "idiot asshole") and his quest to leave a sealed-off world for something better. It's vibrant and energetic and heartbreaking and fun. Love anime dearly.

Food

I'm eating a grilled cheese right now. It's good. Way too much cheese for any practical purpose. As it should be.

Just living day to day really

There's a lot in the world to be miserable about. But I get up every day and I go find out what's happening in the world and invariably I read that somewhere, something cool is happening and it kinda balances out the bullshit. I am 40 or 50 years old and I do not need to be concerned about everything horrid happening in the world, but I try to concern myself at least a little with the good things happening.

This is not a cheap cop-out because I'm half-awake and can't think of another entry shush.

[pezpenser205]

btw i didnt realize how funny this was until i started working on it but i do want to share because the concept is insane and one of the weirdest things ive ever done that i think would be some shit a psychologist would have a field day with. so when i kill myself (because thats 100% gonna be how ill die theres not even any debate in my mind atp and ive been hyperfixated on killing myself recently. yes my hyperfixation rn is suicide and i cant concentrate on anything else. very serious im so serious about this. not kidding. either that or ill die by falling somewhere like in the shower bc my knees have been degenerating bc of genetic reasons and i have terrible balance) im gonna post an entire character assassination document on myself listing off every reason why you shouldnt feel bad for me and everything ive done wrong in college APA format (at least everything ive done wrong that i know of and feel free to mention if im missing something after i post it. not that ill be able to edit it though sorry /silly) so people will finally fucking get why ive come to the (Objectively Correct) conclusion that i shouldnt exist due to me only getting worse and less valuable with age like some kind of reverse wine or cheese.

it is a provable math equation. ive written it. im formatting this like its a product pitch to rich investors. it will be an absolutely ironclad essay with zero rebuttal and it will be awesome and hopefully the only of its kind /hj

i literally planned to make an entire spreadsheet accompanying it to keep everyone from pitying me or thinking my suicide note is a pity ploy im deadass. i didnt realize how ridiculous this idea was until i started on the outline earlier and i suddenly gained more awareness of what i was doing. i am voluntarily putting more effort into an essay on why i suck than i ever put into anything else in my entire life and if that isnt a perfect representation of every reason why i shouldnt be here.

im gonna be the first guy ever to do a character assassination on himself if i die just so people wont mourn me or treat it like some great tragedy even for a second out of a weird sense of obligation to my family or the fact that i was a trans sibling of theirs or whatever. i am going to make sure that people read that document and are like "wow this guy had a few issues i fucking hate this guy im glad hes dead. anyway rip bozo lmaooo. even if this guy wasnt trans he for sure wouldve killed himself and good on him for doing so"

i wouldnt have it any other way either i genuinely hope people meme the shit out of me dying because my entire life up until this point has been me internalizing a caricature of every bad trait people have told me i had until i dont enjoy anything on my own and cease to be a standalone person when i dont have external validation constantly feeding me good things to overshadow the bad stuff ive internalized. im very plainly and transparently a fake caricature of a toxic person thats hollow on the inside and nothing else so its only fair that people get to make fun of those traits when im dead too.

being able to lay out the extremely stupid and meandering reasons why ive developed this way (looking back most of them are 100% my fault also) is going to look like some kind of bogus alchemy. i literally purposely made myself mentally ill when i was 10 or 11 because of septiplier and sanscest lemon fanfic. consciously and intentionally. you cant tell me that fact alone isnt hilarious. thats gold who even does that. thats satire thats not a real person who exists and yet i do exist right here in this desk chair (which is why i shouldnt exist /lh)

this is really a dark subject matter but i genuinely believe this document is gonna be really funny okay. theres already so much good copypasta material here. i for real do not believe there is anyone on earth who has developed in quite this weird fucking way thats has whatever kind of "im too self aware and accepting of my own flaws to function as a real person" disorder that i have and i want to leave something of that behind so whatever is wrong with me wont be lost.

all of this to say, just know if i die you have something to look forward to at least because i wish i could be there to see if anyone actually reads it when it drops and im not even DONE yet. the one thing im really good at is dramatic displays of suicidality and internalizing every word anyones ever said to me/about me apparently like thats the only thing thats stayed consistent throughout everything im writing in this silly little word document.

drapes myself over a fainting couch. woe is me. the most earnest art ive made in years is about how im unable to produced anything worthwhile. the irony is palpable and beautiful. wish i could put this energy into Literally Anything Else but alas that is the point of the essay

#op #suicide #suicide joke #i am so desensitized to the concept of my own death that ive turned my suicide note into a joke even though it started serious #and honestly thats beautiful #i love me

[sadkidwarexpert]

hi eboni 🖤🖤🖤🖤

i’m going to ask you some questions >.< hopefully let your mind focus on something else for a little while 🥺

what do you typically have for breakfast or your first meal of the day if you aren’t a breakfast person?

what’s a song that wrapped around your heart this year?

did you try to find animals in the clouds as a child? (maybe you still do)

what’s a name you really like?

what sparks memories the most for you: music, smells, or food?

if you had to assign a color to your soul, which one would you choose?

what’s your comfort movie? what little treat would you enjoy while watching it?

sending you love 🖤

hii saraya, wow it's been ages and im so sorry i got to this ask only now. hmm let's see these are some lovely qs

scrambled eggs with veggies, some sort of cheese (i've discovered whey cheese and it's so good) and maybe some cold cut meat like mortadella with bread (typical levantine breakfast really)

dead man by david kushner i think

i think i did! i can't remeber any tho :( i love looking at clouds, my instagram feed is basically sky pictures

anything with a V in it, Violet maybe, Ebony too hence my online nickname.

childhood snacks and cartoons i used to watch as a kid. smells usually hit me with unknown nostalgia and i can't always place where i remember them from, there's a shampoo that smells like 7th grade in our previous apartment.

is it cliche to say black? but it's a color that's felt most like home to me, some people told me I feel like dark violet but that's too confident for me, i am someone who fades into the shadows, afraid to take up space and exist so black is an armor, plus it's the best color on my skin. there's also a forest green somewhere.

comfort movie ... dead poets society? absolute destruction to my heart. i like to have instant noodles or chips.

sending you love back, feel free to ask more if you want, and wish me luck finding my writing voice again, it's been dead for too long.🖤

#asks for eboni

[xxarmchairphilosopherxx]

Why we love Five Nights at Freddy’s a tribute to an unexpected fandom

So, Five Evenings at Frederick von Ferdinand’s…

 Ok stay with me here guys I swear it will be ok. No convoluted lore timeline analysis here… Though I can’t promise that one day I won’t throw my hat in the ring and complete my insanity completionist speed run. But until that point inevitably comes, I wanted to take a step back from all the games, comics, and hot topic merch to ask that all important question. Y?

           No seriously how is this franchise so popular? It’s not just with the older audience either but with its apparent core demographic of kids. Which to be fully honest with its release being almost 10 years ago now all us technically started this journey as little ones, so I guess that’s not as surprising. Hm somewhere between Fazbear and today we all grew up… But I digress.

           Let me answer this question by asking another, Why is Harry Potter so popular? Some of you may say “oh it’s the world building or the characters or this that and the other thing lengardium LEveOsA!” No that’s not good enough, 10 vbucks away from Snuffleclaw house!

These are not unique to Harry Potter, these are qualities that almost any franchise needs to become popular. But what was key to harry potters success?

It’s not a fantasy novel, it’s a mystery novel.

Seriously it may not seem like it but almost everyone likes mystery stories. Look at Sherlock the brilliant Brit is one of the most famous characters in all of western media even though most people haven’t even read the originals. Crime tv is the only thing keeping cable tv alive, and the funny kiwi man tells me this mystery box is all he needs to make a good star wars movie! Ok maybe not all of those are the best example but that’s where the magic (heh) comes in. JK “rolling on the floor” hid the mystery series under a fantasy story about wizards, dragons, and all that actual fun stuff. But what made us stay there and not head over to re watch Lord of the rings for the 20th time to tell our friends that Viggo broke his toe, was that human trait so deadly to cats; curiosity.

           We just love what we can’t understand. We need to know it and that’s what keeps drawing us back, not only to the escapades of the least dangerous school in England. But with the recent happenings at old Freddy Foozler’s Italian Cuisine. You know a mystery is good when not even the sharpest minds of Reddit can figure it out… Ok, another bad example, but still this shit is cray just look at these timelines.

 I can’t even tell how many kids are dead anymore! Just like Nancy Drew gets the kids’ reading, so does Harry potter, but more importantly Freddy FazeClanBear get those nerds out of them books and into gaming like God intended.

           Oh, and an aside to this is the pure fact that kids, despite all signs saying no, the little munchkins love to be scared. You know how it felt right? When you watched that episode of goosebumps with the pig head kid with all the lights off? You felt a little braver when it was all over. And it’s the same reason why we all loved to play those violent games or raunchy episodes of family guy when we were kids. When a youngin sees the ratings anything over their given age that’s a challenge. Adult stuff has been and always will be seen as cool and edgy; and gosh dang it if there’s one truth in this world besides the indisputable fact that blue is a flavor and can be only distilled in the 7 eleven slushie machine. It’s that kids want to be cool, and the Possessed Chuck e Cheese Copyright Infringement Brigade got the keys to that all so coveted cool kids club.

           Another aspect that’s gonna get a bit strange is the idea of Character…

Now logically you will ask “how can a bunch of possessed animatronics with a vocal range of distorted child scream to guttural groan from the depths of hell, have any actual character?” Well, My good friend take a trip with me to the forbidden forest of the human subconscious: The internet!!!

Well mainly one aspect I’ve noticed through my many hours spent trudging the coded catacombs in search of the dankest and rankest of memes. That is, when faced with fear we usually try to make it funny. The following are in cannon possessed by a dead kids.

This comedic-fication of Freddy and the Gang came form two sources. First of course was wanting a sense of relief. You can’t be afraid of something when it’s got a mouth full of blunts dancing to snoop doggy dog’s Cremate Cannabis Customarily. And also it was just a natural consequence of the game itself for example. You in the back what is the equation for comedy?

(Pause for your stuttering response)

         That’s right!

          Misery + Time= Funny

          Exactly! Good job gold star for you champ see me after class and maybe you’ll get a little treat~ Wait sorry wrong script hold on (shuffles papers).

          Ahem here we are... These games while also being scary were at times insanely difficult to the point where even the man behind the game itself was unsure if its higher difficulties could even be completed. But from the misery of fear and rage, came the memes of dank and WANK… No no stop no nsfw here! Gosh these scripts are all over the place hold on.

           Ahemx2. Now these comedic bits also happened to mix with some of the core gameplay behaviors of the animatronic animals which lead to some odd things starting to rise to the surface. A Character.

           Take Foxy for example. An aggressive gameplay loop, mixed with his implied solitary nature in Pirates Cove made him generally a grumpy kind of guy who hates the night guard. Maybe he’s even more aware of the situation than the others. Then the big Faz himself with a more strategic code and being the main cheese himself, maybe he’s like the begrudging ring leader of the group and just too tired for this shit. And Bota Bing Bota boom in the primordial soup of Tumblr and deviantart… and hint of furry. You have characters! and characters need stories, and drama, dynamics, backstories, and ships! Oh the ships, the ships like FEDEX!!! And since these primordial soup characters are 50% meme by volume, there is no cannon! But then also, everything is cannon!

        So just like that weird doujin writer taking a bunch of legendary characters and making some weird dating sim and taking up whatever lore he wanted because that’s what everyone did before him (ie Fate Stay Night). So too did Xxgoldenshadowfreddy1987xX using MS paint make his series of comics detailing the break room shenanigans of Freddy and Co. And also inspired the likes of Thisaccountismine23 to write the most poetic story about the end of life, the eternal essence of the soul, and how it can be seen in the eyes of a child. Which just so happened to be set in the Fnaf 2 location with Mike Schmidt and his oddly attractive robot furry friends.

           You see what I’m getting at here? This is why it’s so damn popular. It’s this weird combination of memes, murder, and mystery; it creates a beautiful canvas that’s both as blank and as filled as any creative person wants it to be. And its self-feeding loop too. Fanon affects how one sees the cannon, and with a canon in constant flux and a fanon that shouldn’t even exist, you got yourself a recipe for a once in a lifetime Super Fandom.

           And to wrap this up in a nice little bow you could show your therapist this Friday, I wanted to take a moment and say a few words. 434 to be exact. If there’s one thing I learned growing up and working with kids allot, especially as I got older myself, is that there’s nothing worse than seeing yourself become that adult whose not just out of touch but who mocks a kids hobbies and interests and makes them feel bad for what they’re into. I knew what that was like and I’m sure anyone watching young or old knows what that’s like too. It hurts and it can make that thing that you liked, that gave you a bit of joy or comfort, have a sour taste in your mouth. And that can hurt all the worse. So when I caught myself being like that to these little ones, I didn’t like it. So I swore to be better than that. Now I joke about ‘fuck them kids all the time’. But it’s only a joke pure and simple. I don’t call any of these things cringe anymore even if it doesn’t jive with me, even if I feel cringed by it, I try not to be that way anymore. I don’t like shitting on what could be a kids first forefronts into art, music, or writing. I sure as hell don’t want them looking back on their old work and feel ashamed. If they moved on or not it doesn’t matter, they should be proud of their work, any work, if they gave their all. Hell, you can take a good look at my YouTube channel (@lazyboywiseguy) (#shamelessplug). I know damned well some of that stuff could be called cringe today but I’ll tell you what. Some those vids did some numbers and that means that someone somewhere enjoyed them. To that someone and to me they are not cringe. I like those things and the things I made with them. I like FNAF and the weird ass community it made for itself. And I just want to say to you at home, don’t worry about cringe or based, just be, for that is based-est thing of all. And kids don’t let some old bat say the stuff your into is wack yo. And to any older readers don’t be ashamed of anything that gives you joy. In reality that’s a lesson for young and old. Life’s too short for that, be happy and be good, that’s all you need.

           Sorry to end this on a less than memey note but I think that’s enough out of me. This FNAF lore script won’t put me in the insane asylum itself. So back to my mad ramblings I go, until next time. Smell ya latter.

#five nights at freddy's #fnaf #five night's at freddy's 1 #five night's at freddy's 2 #five night's at freddy's 3 #fnaf 1 #fnaf 2 #fnaf 3 #fnaf 4 #fnaf 5 sister location #sister location #fnaf help wanted #fnaf ultimate custom night #springtrap #springbonnie #freddy #freddy fazbear #freddy fazzbears pizza #chica #toy chica #foxy #bonnie #bonnie bunny #mangle #toy foxy #michael afton #william afton #fnaf security breach #fnaf vanessa #fnaf vanny

[lokisprettygirl]

Okay hi! I just made an account because I wanted to comment on your stuff. I loveeee everything you've written and you surprise everytime with something. Anyway on a more selfish note could you pleasee write a fic with soft loki in little space whenever you get free time. Thank you!!!😊

Thank you so much for the appreciation dear, I'm glad you enjoy my fics❤️💚😍, I have never written about little space before so I apologise for any mistakes, also that's why I'm writing an hc instead of a fic

Loki in Little Space HC

Honestly, Loki never told you about his Little space, he just fell into one around you, probably because of the reason that even his subconscious mind trusted you, he trusted you with his little self.

At first you were confused when he looked so lost and confused himself but then you researched more about it and realised that he was in his little space

His age range varies between 4-7 years, when he got back to his normal self the first time, he was embarrassed about it but you quickly assured him that no matter what happened you'd always be there to love him and take care of him, he never to hide any parts of his with you

After that you took the role of his mommy and became his primary caregiver whenever he would be a little

He is absolutely adorable even even in his big self so multiply it times infinite, that's how adorable he is in his little space, a precious munchkin that you would protect forever

Loves it when you call him his sweet baby, sweet lolo

But he would also be very skittish sometimes, he had a bad experience with his previous mommy so he took a long time to trust you but once he did, he couldn't stay apart from you even for a second

You feed him and bathe him, he dont enjoy bathing though, he would often throw tantrums by throwing his toys all around the room but you always promise to give him lots of chocolates and he would reluctantly get in like a good boy

He would often ask you to put his hair up in two ponytails, loves it more when you'd massage his head before 

He loves you as his mommy, he's needy and clingy but you adore him more than anything "Mommy loves you so much sweet baby" you'd whisper softly as you'd cuddle him and that makes him smile so widely "I wuvvv you mommy" 

Would often take a nap with his head in your lap

Ofcourse, if you have to work or be somewhere important you'd put him in front of the tv with his favourite cartoon on, and his favourite plushies around him, you'd cook Mac and cheese and give him his juice box before you leave, he would wait for you to be free and get back to him patiently

But sometimes when you'd take a little longer, his patience would run out, so he would call you and cry so you could get back and pamper him

You'd come back with pizza and his favourite ice cream as an apology

He crosses his arms and tries to throw tantrums but the thought of his favorite ice cream melting brings him into your embrace quickly.

And also because he missed his mommy

You never take him anywhere when he gets like that, you would never allow anyone to hurt him by making fun of him, can't have anyone hurting your precious baby.

He wouldn't go to sleep unless you sing him a lullaby

All in all he's the most adorable little to ever exist and you love being his mommy

#loki #loki x female reader #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader #loki x reader fic #loki headcanon #little space #soft baby loki #anon requests