#does Not make me stop liking the old one

[encodedkismet]

google search how do i keep my current obsession and bring in a second obsession at the same time without having a whole breakdown about """losing""" the current thing to the next thing

#you think id learn after 8.5 goddamn years of being in fandom #that joining/rejoining a fandom #does Not make me stop liking the old one #like i would go ape shit and obsess again if some new ut/dr stuff released #i would go ape shit and obsess again if they made a new steven universe miniseries/movie/etc #i would go ape shit and obsess again if a new season of infinity train came out #i would legit Die if hiveswap act 3 came out. even before i started getting back into homestuck #i bought a fullmetal alchemist pop figure that was on clearance the other day. shes not even one of my favs #hell i was never properly into the portal fandom but i still go FUCKING BONKERS whenever i see portal shit anywhere #its literally fiiiiiiinnneeeee #i should know by now that it's not that i lose the fandom #it's that when there's not a lot of new shit for a while i dont have fuel for the autism fire #there hasnt been much new sonic stuff relatively for the past few months. which comes after there's been SO MUCH lately before then #small wonder that i'd be gnawing at my leg figuratively for something new to do #which. apparently is making a sonic+homestuck crossover???? whatever lmao

[akkivee]

base meme would have suited fine but i think this was a bit more accurate LOL

#this is vee speaking #POPULAR WITH MEN KUUKOU 🙌 #THE GIRLIES THINK HES A FUNKY LITTLE GUY (SAFE) 🙌 #that ask i got about what makes kuukou attractive in that universe was so interesting i’m so serious lol #like!!!!! based on what hypmic presents us i’d say the ones popular with women are the ones who get girls screaming their names like idols #like ramuda hifumi and jyushi!!!!! and samatoki and ichiro that one time in tdd iirc!!!!!! #tdd manga also had girls fawning over nmcd so there is that in the camp kuukou does have appeal to girls in that sense #but it’s funny to me in canon we’ve seen kuukou flocked by men old people and children LOL #that reminds me of this one comic i read where bat were out in the town but jyushi and hitoya wanted to stop somewhere else i think #so kuukou waited for them outside and as he waited he slipped into meditation reciting buddhist prayers #when jyushi and hitoya came back they found him still chanting still in that deep state of mind #but passerbys had given him offerings and an old lady was praying to KUUKOU offering her thanks LOL #c: kuukou👑

[autumngracy]

Not me creeping up to the wordcount of the fourth longest book ever written

#A Reflection of Starlight #AROS #valvert #fanfic #writing #Hey I switched back to LibreOffice again after setting up my new computer #(RIP my old computer's installation of MS Office 2009) #And also my old computer in general as it is now giving me the blue screen of death upon boot #but ANYWAY #does anybody know how to make LibreOffice stop highlighting formatted areas? BC with Dark Mode it's highlighting white text #which makes it impossible to read my footnote and page numbers #Also I CANNOT believe this program was coded to be so that 'Ignore' and 'Ignore All' options only do so for the CURRENT SESSION ONLY #Like what in god's name??? #I spent 3-4 hours reformatting AROS after converting it only to learn that all the 'errors' I told it to ignore just popped back #the second I reopened the document like jesus christ #Why even offer those options if it doesn't do it permanently for that document file #HHHHHHHhhhhhhHHHHHH #I then spent another several hours being forced to change the language formatting to French for all the French bits #JUST so it would stop underlining all of them in red #And there's no way for me to get rid of the underlining on things like cut off bits of dialogue #bc they are NOT proper words and I refuse to add them to my Dictionary (thus polluting it) just to get rid of them #Ugh #So anyway remember years ago how I joked about what if I accidentally wrote a fanfic longer than the source material itself #That being one of the longest books ever written (technically THE longest book ever written #if we're counting the FRENCH version of it and not the English translation #And yeah I know I technically split AROS into 3 books but that was only for reader convenience #It's still one book in my heart #And also because I think it would be REALLY funny to surpass Hugo's wordcount #Which is entirely plausible bc in English it was only about 531k so I only a little over 100k off and I think I can easily make that #with the material I have left to write but is already mostly plotted out

[relicsongmel]

Hey. Sprite analysis folks what the fuck does this mean

Somewhat inspired by this post

#ace attorney #pwaa #mia fey #iris hawthorne #iris fey #iris of hazakura temple #sprite analysis #mine #one of my biggest unanswered questions of aa is how much the twins interacted with mia before dl-6/leaving kurain with their father #like were they close. or was morgan's jealousy so strong that she stopped any of that dead in its tracks #i like to think they were and these sprite similarities allude to that #but then WHY. does mia not recognize dahlia in 3-4 it makes absolutely no sense #she absolutely would have been old enough to remember her. i get they probably didn't want to spoil dahlia being a fey but like #her recognizing mia first (made more obvious in the anime) already points to that. i feel like another vague line would have been sufficien #anyway i could go on about this for hours but. if anyone has more thoughts feel free to add #iris lovers PLEASE interact she is everything to me

[vanhelsingapologist]

//scuttles in

Hey you should totally talk about Kasimir

Kasimir And The Terrible Horrible No-Good Very Bad 400 Years

CW: Sororicide, Child Death, discussion of mental health, discussion on the nature of shame.

This is going to be so, so long. Disclaimer that this is our table's interpretation of Kasimir Velikov. Spoilers for Curse of Strahd and the Dusk Elves abound.

Guilty, Not Remorseful

Kasimir is one of those characters who seems to be very consistent in characterization across tables. I do believe that if you asked DMs to list their Kasimir’s traits, a majority would hit the Trifecta of Misery:

Guilty

Sad

Desperate.

A massive part of our Kasimir’s characterization is how my DM draws the line between regret, guilt, and remorse.

He feels fathomless guilt surrounding killing Patrina, but he never describes himself as feeling remorse. To explain, I’ll divide it like this:

He feels guilty because he knew it would have a repercussion. He did it anyway. Patrina was engaged to Strahd.

He did not expect the repercussions to be all that they were. This was a mistake, but I don’t entirely know whether he sees his decision surrounding killing Patrina as one or not.

He does not feel remorse, because that would require him to regret what he did (killing his sister). Our Kasimir does not feel remorse for killing her, and it makes him guiltier because of everything her death set off, not to mention the love he held for his sister.

He tells himself that he did what he had to do (he did not), and wishes there were another way (there undoubtedly was), which gives way to shame. 

"I had to do it, but I wish I didn't." "... Did I have to? Surely, yes?"

So, he has these interplaying themes connected to the overarching theme of guilt, all of which drive his every action in our campaign. 

He is okay with this.

He is okay with the idea that every day is a punishment. He did what he had to do, he says, and he believes he should pay that price forever. 

The Whole Patrina Thing

In our game, Patrina didn’t seem to be so much in love with Strahd as she was in love with power. My running theory is that she was intending to dethrone Strahd or overpower him once she’d been turned. 

Because (I believe) in our game, he was one of the first vampires, if not The First Vampire, she didn’t quite realize how spawn mechanics worked— and to that end, neither did the dusk elves.

The Story

Kasimir holds to the story he told us. He discovered his sister half-turned, having received two of the three bites required to undergo the bride ceremony. 

I believe he discovered her in the process of trying to feed (a la Lucy Westenra) and came to the conclusion that she had been irrevocably turned into this horrifying, unknowable dead thing. So he gathered the dusk elves and killed her, setting off the chain of events. 

In the years since he’s been confronted with new information regarding vampirization and the process of turning, but he’s also said that if Patrina hadn’t died, she likely would’ve gone through with it anyway. Is this to avoid heaping more guilt onto his shoulders? Maybe. I don't know. Despite his guilt, he still, interestingly, provides a justification.

We have nothing to contradict his word with.

However, he also told us that he’s been experiencing dreams where she tells him how sorry she is, how much she hates him, how much she loves him, and how much she would have changed if he'd let her live.

His foundational beliefs get preyed upon, because what if he was wrong? What if he doomed everyone because he couldn’t compromise his morality for a moment?

Kasimir’s Backstory Is Misery In Case You Were Wondering

In our campaign, Kasimir and Patrina were raised to be the leaders of their communities and witnessed Rahadin’s exile and subsequent alliance with King Barov.

When the Dusk Elves regrouped after a crushing defeat, Kasimir, who is a Druid in our campaign, was voted in to be the head of the remaining families, and Patrina, an Archmage, left for Ravenloft intermittently. 

I think there was an effort for peace being made with a marriage between Strahd and herself, but obviously, the Tatyana Conundrum came in (Kasimir Win!), and then a couple years down the line, the Patrina Conundrum happened (Kasimir Fail!).

By the time he made his big bad decision, he was not only the head of his community but was also the father to a small child and the husband to a man who would die defending their family.

So, as far as he’s concerned, Kasimir is almost directly responsible for the deaths of his entire family.

He’s in a constant internal battle between blaming Ravenloft— perhaps predominantly, Rahadin— for enacting disproportionate revenge and blaming himself for pulling the trigger. Two things can be true. And still, to this day, his remaining people trust him. He still leads them and protects them. Yowch.

Kasimir As The Moral Compass

While traveling with our party, Kasimir was militant about doing what he believed was right. It could’ve been because he might’ve literally snapped in half if he took on any more shame, but probably had more to do with the fact that he was likely projecting heavily onto our party. 

He held his hand on the metaphorical stove for so long that he has nothing but bone left, so when he sees the party tentatively edging towards the fire, he takes action. 

Because he lives in a cesspool of anguish, I think an argument can be made that he wants to ensure his actions aren’t repeated by someone else. That is for HIM.

How It Affects Dynamic

This makes him fun to have in the party, because not only is Sororicide “Hypocrite” Velikov telling us not to do things, but it also provides a good bit of levity to what is otherwise one of the emotionally heaviest characters in our campaign.

Having this ancient elven druid sternly ask if kicking the corpse of enemy #6 made you feel good and having to shamefully tell him ’no’ creates a bond like no other.

It’s also an interesting way to have him trying to semi-atone without explicitly expressing remorse. Because he judges himself so harshly, he judges the party by the same standards.

Kasimir Will Make The Same Mistake Over And Over

The problem is that shame is poison to recovery.

Kasimir does not believe he has a place in a world in which he is not suffering, so whenever he is confronted with redemption, he’ll do what keeps him rotting.

I don’t know how my other players feel about this, but I’m convinced that it’s not that he can’t break the cycle, it’s that he won’t.

In trying to do the right thing, I think he will choose the wrong thing. He will stone her to death again and again and not know why.

There He Goes Again!

It’s why I think these dreams are such a big problem. I think they’re goading him. Whatever’s causing it (the Dark Powers, Strahd, or Patrina herself) knows him well enough that he will make a horrible, horrible decision. As far as theory goes, I think it may really be Patrina, because who would know him better than his sister?

In our campaign, Kasimir is currently acting as a mentor to a half dusk-elven wizard/druid who habitually toes the line between good and evil. He waffles between wanting to save her and wanting to nip the problem in the bud, propelled by his profound shame for wanting to do it.

He knows he shouldn’t have anything to do with it, but whereas Van Richten isolates himself out of necessity, Kasimir creates this wall between them because he sees the cycle starting again and feels helpless to stop it. It’s like he doesn’t realize he’s actively recreating the cycle.

Sound familiar, Strahd?

He and Van Richten are two characters who might have the biggest questions of the nature of redeemability hanging over their head, and both grapple with themes of guilt.

I think they differ because, in our campaign, Van Richten is actively seeking redemption. Kasimir is not.

He can’t imagine atonement even exists.

#asked and answered #this was asked by a player in my campaign #thank you for letting me yammer i've been wanting to talk about this guy for ages. even if this is free notes </3 #curse of strahd character analysis #kasimir velikov #patrina velikovna #curse of strahd spoilers #curse of strahd #We are a party who believes in love as redemption #but we’ve never met a character who so throughly rejects that concept like Kasimir (and maybe Arrigal). #the emilia and kasimir relationship makes me bleed from the eyes. stop looking for your sister in her or you will find your sister in her. #add the rahadin shit in and thatsa one spicy meatball #does kasimir believe good is inherited or cultivated? i think he BELIEVES he thinks it's cultivated. #going 2 put every old man in this module in therapy and then maybe a box #kasimir in general man...... #my DM is very very smart and we're her little rats running around screaming

[moregraceful]

accidentally invented a new form of no bedtime called 11pm glass of emergency-c + 4pm latte + 8pm cup of black tea + 9pm cup of black tea

#the real question is can i go to church on less than 5 hours of sleep and still function lol #i unlocked my instagram bc church wouldn't stop tagging me to direct people to me for stuff but that meant i had to delete a bunch of pho #tos AND rewrite a bunch of captions for photos i didn't WANT to delete bc i was too mean to random sharks prospects #which is fine if it is u know the anonymity of tumblr but not public instagram where my church won't stop FULL NAMING AND TAGGING ME #''anonymity of tumblr'' i doxx myself on here like 80 times a day in front of more people than i went to college with #anyway my point is i was going through deleting all evidence of politics pens fandom and legal documents and i was like damn #my attitude towards my team SUCKS. i gotta be way less of a hater!!! #what did my prospects ever do wrong besides everything NOTHING. the system is BROKEN. i am sorry i will be so much nicer guys :( #also if u really want to be humbled. scrolling back to 2012 on your instagram and re-experiencing senior year of college. BAD #i've deleted i think everything that would reasonably get our nonprofit status pulled but what a horrific journey it was #two full hockey intermission periods of deleting shit plus another hour at home doing several more passes and then rewriting captions #so that some poor 21 year old prospect randomly searching their name doesn't see me full ass call their teammate cringe #their teammate IS cringe. but i love him. but the nuances are lost on instagram people don't understand these things they take everything #at face value #don't know why i just assigned shakir mukhamadullin they/them pronouns #i think i need to go lie in bed with a blanket over my head until i suffocate #this ALWAYS happens i get too hype about mackenzie blackwood and start listening to selena gomez and then it's like almost 3am and i'm just #fresno oilers.txt #oh and. a friend sent me screenshots of the girl she's been flirting with on a dating app and they are SOOOOO cute #i hope they make a good run of it i really do bc it was SO cute. living vicariously through episcopalian lesbians as one does #but then i was trying to figure out how to edit my dating app profile to dissuade chasers but still honeytrap guys who are tall enough #or athletic enough to pick the tangerines at the top of the tangerine tree. bc i couldn't reach this week #but there were still like god maybe 150 tangerines on the tree. i was like this could be feeding people but i'm TOO SHORT #and my life will be like this. FOREVER #icb the future of this garden is so psychologically burdensome that i'm having to build it into a dating app profile lol #well now that i'd treated this entire tag set as twitter for and hour and a half #time to go try to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and then wake up in [checks notes] four hours

[yarrowleef]

as this continues to be relevant yeah idk I just think this whole RiverClan nonsense conflict would have been less annoying for me to read if RiverClan had actually descended into true chaos. a situation like Redscar’s field guide story where several cats try to claim authority. but in this case, it goes beyond just two cats fighting and the clan starts splitting into mini factions supporting one self-appointed candidate or the other. the problem being presented as “we all forgot how to do chores without a teacher permission slip :(” is so weird and lame. give me blood shed eat each other alive so i believe your plight ffs!!! 

#warrior cats #asc #yarrow speaks #a starless clan #warrior cats sky #warrior cats shadow #wc criticism #uh i dont think this is spoilers? its the same as last book #sorry i take back that old post saying i didnt want to read about RiverClan brushing off Mothwings authority in this situation #turns out they really SHOULD have so that this plot would make more sense #bc as it stands i cant comprhend why she was unable to just point at Literally Anyone and ask them to organize some patrols for the day. #thats not appointing a leader its Just Doing Chores. switch off who does it every day who cares but how is it this much of a problem #i cant engage with this conflict at all with how its presented #idk first they said some senior warriors were *quietly and passively* gesturing to Frostpaw that they would like to be leader #but then later they said that no senior warrior would step forward. which is it. i just cant stop thinking of all the many many times- #-rando warriors were given temporary patrol organizing duties. it happens all the time. i just. #you cant rly tell me not One Single Cat here can organize some chores for a month or two #bc if thats true and mothwing is unable to just point at any warrior ask them to pick some patrols for the day- #then that suggests the problem is not lacking a starclan chosen leader the problem is apparently every single cat in this clan- #-is too incompetent for the job. and being officially appointed isnt going to suddenly give them that skill if they cant do it now #hence why i wish there had been some bloody fighting over this #but sitting around staring at the wall and doing nothing is cool too ig

[oatbugs]

she's so arrogant and annoying and hot it pisses me off !!!

#like have some shame omg . have some respect #shes soooo certain i will date her she keeps saying shes not worried she doesnt care etc etc bc she knows i want to date her #not even that. she Declared we were dating. like when i was like do u even want this. not just going on dates but acc dating. and she was #like wdym? im already dating you . like ok??? i wasnt informed ig #anyway i said she was arrogant and she said she knows so. #also she did several things when she was drunk that i found cringe/i personally would b embarrassed if i was her but she just found it funn #like genuinely does she have no sense of shame #also her reasoning is that shes too hot to be rejected and since im talking to her instead of... not that makes her certain that #no matter what i say i wont reject her #WHICH MAKES ME WANT TO REJECT HER. DONT TELL ME WHAT I WANT OR WHAT TO DO. UGH. #I WANT TO FIGHT HER FR MEIN GOTT #also i want her to be more romantic i literally told her im not asking her out on the next date lmao #also if we do end up dating properly i have to swear and oath never to argue w her and just communicate slowly and clearly bc imagine #lawyer and philosophy student get into an argument and theyre both scorpios. insane combination imo #INSUFFERABLE. she was also 40 mins late and tbf she did warn me and keep me updated but i was still rly mad at her bc #i was waiting for so long . and i was like . listen im gonna leave. and she walked thru the door. but anyway she apologised but also she #said no ones ever threatened to leave her b4. what do you mean before?? anyway i told her to respect my time more and she was like i cant #believe im being told off by a 21 yr old like bitch ur literally 24 stop acting ancient fuck off #UGH SHES SO IRRITATING. WHY DOESNT SHE CALL ME MORE. #crushposting

[mamawasatesttube]

thinking about him again... (robin kon...)

#rimi talks #i am not starting another wip. i am not starting another wip. new wips before finishing old ones are the mind killer #BUT.............................................. #the problem is so many THOUGHTS and also my bad arm is killing me so bad typing hurts i will cry this is evil #i will type anyway bc i have to yell. #the bruce and kon of it all. kon breaking up with tana bc even in death tim is a good influence on him. #and then he makes bruce watch wendy with him bc he and tim used to do that and he breaks down and bruce panics and just swaddles him in cap #but ALSO... robin kon meeting oyl tim... #BUT ALSO ALSO the fucking comedy of jason trying to attack him but not knowing he is secretly kryptonian. this is so fucking funny #hes built like a brick shithouse and kon is still a gangly teenager but kon just tucks him under his arm like a suitcase like B GUESS WHAT #B I THINK I CAN BRING TIM BACK!!!!!!!!!!!! #<- the only thing he takes away from jason not being dead. he literally does not care otherwise #jason is hissing and spitting like a furious wet cat and kons just like HOW DID YOU DO IT. I WANT TIM BACK #but again. also. robin kon meeting oyl tim. and then both of them having to say goodbye again. the fucking tragedy of it all #okay for real ow i need to stop and take a break but HNGHGN

[crimeronan]

by the point of becoming empress, luz has been through enough that she's intensely mistrustful of and stressed out by everyone who Isn't hunter, like. it's going to take her a significant amount of time to stop seeing belos around every corner & stop modulating her own behavior based around what belos would approve of. she has plenty of reason to firmly believe that everyone she speaks with has an agenda and that she can't ever really Be Herself or show vulnerability to anyone

but at the same time.

she is So Fucking Stressed Out.

i cannot shake the mental image of luz like. doing her best to be kinda cold and aloof and hold people at arm's length and not give too much of her own hand away, bc she's gotta be super self-aware and in control of everything at all times. and then one day raine asks, with all of the genuine concern and care in the world, "hey, are you...... okay??" and the poor fucking kid just. DISSOLVES IMMEDIATELY.

#you have been nice to luz. luz will now die for you (and also collapse in a crying puddle) #fic commenters who were like 'god i hope she and hunter eventually end up with SOME trustworthy adults in their lives' ME TOO #can't stop thinking about what a desperate pathetic relief it would be for her to have just ONE person who's old enough to seem #self-assured and experienced. hunter is technically an adult but an 18-yr-old to luz's 16-yr-old certainly does not a parent/guardian make #get this girl the ability to trust and rely on Anybody without the fear of terrible things happening because of it #toh #princess luz AU #raine whispers #luz noceda

[blueside-hobi]

As much as I love overwatch, I am so sick of people being mean. It seems like 90% of games whichever losing side either blames their tank or support when 90% of the time it's definitely not either. Also I only play quick play games so these don't even matter. I can understand being upset if you're playing competitive but people still don't need to be rude. Quick play is supposed to be fun. I usually get people commenting on me being a one trick but if I play anyone else then I get told I suck. How am I supposed to learn new characters if I get bullied from trying them? And especially now that there's only one tank I constantly see "tank diff" in the chat. Like grow up. It is very rarely only one person's fault that a game is lost and that's usually because they leave or they are literally not trying and just running around saying hi to the enemy team. No way was it all the tanks fault. And it's literally always the damage players complaining about it. Like maybe you're losing because you keep saying rude shit in the chat and you're bringing morale down and nobody wants to play with you.

#idk if the age group is just super young or if its literally just assholes that play but they need to do something about it #i feel like in the old overwatch it was easier to report people #but im also still new to this so maybe i just dont know how yet #and i mainly feel bad for the other people that have to play with them or when someone says something about my teammate #like i dont give a shit what people say to me personally #being a mercy one trick will give you a thick skin lol #but like i cant help but think about the next healer they play with #because it still does suck #like i get over it and continue like i dont see the comments but i wouldnt blame someone for stopping from healing them #any time someone on my team says something mean about our other healer i make sure to be extra aware of that healer and keep them alive #and ill take care of the asshole if they stop because i dont expect them to put up with them #the best though is when you start with a really toxic person and youre losing so badly that it genuinely hurts #and then they leave and all of a sudden you win #like yeah it was totally everyone else dude #overwatch

[myhyperfixationisback]

Sony please release your cruel and un-creative grip on my autism creature game series. I beg of you. Let them at least start naming the series innuendos again… PLEASE. I’m sorry the Future series ever even got released at this point PLEASE go back to the old ways I beg you‼️

#ratchet and clank #the talkinator 2000 #I say this as someone who’s first game from the series I watched was Tools of Destruction and who’s first game I played was A Crack in Time #if all it led to was the series getting turned into the next ‘plays like it’s a Pixar game’ bullshit #I would have never wanted them 😭 #like this SUCKS man. the old ratchet and clank was full of so much personality it feels like the new ones are a corporate PARODY of it #let them name the games stupid dick jokes again. I KNOW it’s sony doing this. PLEASE #STOP MAKING RATCHET SO SERIOUS. ITS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY #to be clear I’m not saying what makes the old games good is all the dirty jokes. #but I WILL say the dirty jokes prevent the series from taking itself too seriously #which it has started to do. #man at this point I don’t give a shit about the Lombaxes! give me another evil capitalist to throw into the moon!! #and the ‘last of their kind’ trope really is getting milked for all its worth and I’m tired of it!! #clank’s ‘chosen one’ trope story had more creativity man!! #alister was like the one spark of life in the lombax thing and then it went straight to bland again #the main characters don’t NEED this to be interesting. they don’t need greater than themselves destinies. #ratchet and clank and the other characters are interesting and fun without that!! #the thing I always liked is that Ratchet is the gun happy mechanic and Clank is the quipping impulse control with the hero alignment #the hero thing rubs off on Ratchet and he does start being a hero with Clank but it’s not his first instinct lol #also extremely sad that the reboot took away the running joke that Clank is the one getting the glory for their heroics #they don’t have a destiny reason for getting into the hero thing. they just got started and liked it and kept going #a lot of the times neither of them even WANTS to be involved they just get roped in!! #like you can do some background shit for them but throwing out all the rest that makes these characters fun to focus on it isn’t the answer #man I just. miss the fun and weird stuff they used to do with the characters and cast and places #they still do big environments but there isn’t other fun wacky shit to match #it’s just ‘destiny’ and heroism. that was never the point of this series 😭

[magentagalaxies]

i really want to start making a table collecting statistics on the audience demographics i'll perform my aubrey material for (like what generation most of the audience is, whether i'm performing in a predominantly queer space, etc.) and how well the jokes land bc like. i need to collect more data points before i can properly present my findings but the results so far have been fascinating

#again i do not have enough performance experiences to make any definitive claims about who ''aubery's audience'' is #but i find it funny that any time i show my aubrey material one-on-one to a queer gen z person #they're always like ''i love it but straight people will definitely hate it or not get it'' #and i get the inclination to be like. ''i like this thing so people like me will like this thing'' #and cishet society seems so polarized w/r/t queer topics it's like. the assumption makes sense #however. whenever i've done an aubrey performance in front of an audience that's predominantly queer and gen z #i've actually received a primarily negative response!! and somehow straight people have never given me shit for my aubrey material #(''well straight allys don't count'' i told some of my aubrey jokes to a joe rogan dudebro and he enjoyed them) #(which yeah maybe could be a mark against my comedy but i like to think i opened his mind a bit at the very least) #i really want to test my aubrey monologues in front of a primarily gen x/boomer audience #bc so far i only have actual performance experience in front of gen z or millennials #and the older people i've told jokes to individually or shown videos of my stuff have really liked it #luckily paul has said a goal for when i'm in town this summer is to get me to perform my aubrey stuff in as many different places as possib #for both queer audiences and non-queer audiences so i can gauge reactions since i don't want to be confined to one demographic #so i'll get a lot of data points this summer #@ paul get me a performing slot at senior citizen pride lmao these are my people #(shoutout to paul going ''jess stop collecting the old homos!'' last time i was in town) #(and when i imitated him and was like ''old gay men are not your pokemon!'' bellini was like ''ok but they may be your audience'') #also one data point i really want to see the variation on is how my one specific joke plays in these different demographics #bc i have a joke that like. it's literally not even about AIDS and doesn't punch down at all #i literally say ''if you're gay and over the age of 50 you could violate the geneva convention and i'd still be like support our troops'' #like obviously being like ''you have been through hell so i will let you get away with literal war crimes you deserve ultimate immunity'' #BUT. in the line right before the quote i use the phrase ''AIDS generation'' not as a derogatory term but being like. #this horrible thing impacted the entire generation y'know? and bellini and scott and their friends call themselves that it's just the term #but when i said the phrase ''AIDS generation'' in front of my gen z audience i heard gasps and felt like they all hated me #and when i did the same line in front of millennials it wasn't quite as striking but their eyes did widen #like i was suddenly an ''edgy comedian''. but like this is a part of our history and it does inform the story i'm telling #the story i'm telling is comedic but it's grounded in this real world context #and i'm like. @ the audience who was offended: when was the last time any of y'all spoke to a gay man over the age of 50 #bc bellini loves that section of the monologue and was offended that people would even take offense to that phrase

[wekillitwithfire]

something so off putting about having a book you despise that you genuinely think was not written well or was just. plain bad. and then going onto goodreads and seeing it has like a 4.5 star rating

#in general i think goodreads ratings are too high #why does ninth house have a 4.03? #why does ‘it looks like this’ have a 3.8? #it looks like this is my least favorite book of all time if i could go back in time and stop 14 year old baby gay me from read it #i would. in a heartbeat. #actually i was probably like 13 #even worse. #it’s just another ‘two gay boys in religious households fall in love (despite having no chemistry) and every horrible thing #that could possibly happen to them does and then one of them dies tragically and everything sucks. you’re hopeless. the end.’ #and it doesn’t make up for it in any humor or levity or. interesting writing. #but whatever. whatever.

[francy-sketches]

Funniest part of the ~key 5~ discourse was like. implying that grrm gave other povs importance just completely on accident I guess? Like if we’re only considering what’s relevant to the key 5 or whatever then it makes no sense why other povs have basically a wholeass book to themselves. “umm achtually affc wasn’t meant to be a standalone book sweaty🙄” well it is now which either means grrm thought those characters’ stories were worthy of being explored on their own or someone held him at gunpoint untill he added more cersei chapters i guess 

#.txt #not trying to start discourse btw if you wanna yell at me fuck off lol #i mean i blocked most of the drama people so i think im safe but just in case #actually it was me with the gun. i was 3 but i knew cersei and jaime would be my blorbos one day. sorry everyone #btw i think you can absolutey criticize grrm for making the story too bloated like affc could definitely have been condensed #im glad it wasnt but yea that's a valid criticism #not the one im arguing against tho #it's more the 'ugh grrm clearly doesnt care about non key 5 povs stop obsessing over them -_-' that i dont like #oh no he's just a bumbling old man he slipped and accidentally wrote an entire book of irrelevant characters!! silly grandpa! #like tf does jaime having a cringefail dad moment contribute to the key 5 stories #anyway hope he adds even more bloat in twow ^_^ dont listen to them king those 30 areo hotah chapters are essential #love that they still threw a fit over this lol. touch grass

[alexjcrowley]

New dad lore unlocked, what the fuck do you mean your friend knew Luca di Montezemolo so you did a test drive with a Ferrari once

#begging my dad to stop being so much cooler than me #me: I get into f1 #dad: Have I ever told you about that time I drove a Ferrari on Circuito di Fiorano #f1 #formula 1 #ferrari #luca di montezemolo #I guess #my dad if I ever became religious: Have I told you about that time I met God #me at 21: maybe vroom vroom cars can bring me out of depression #my dad at (almost) 60: oh yes minor anectodote I met the guy Niki Lauda won two championship with #I can't stress enough how this is so fucking unreal my family does not come even close to the kind of money LdM makes #We are NOT the kind of people who would casually hang with a millionaire #Also I genuinely believe my dad's friend must have been sketchy to know LdM #I also feel like I can never read my two eye anymore like even the tag of an ao3 fic with Luca di Montezemolo #'Luca di Montezemolo/Niki Lauda' you mean my dad's friend's friend????????? #now I feel like I have a weird distant relationship with this guy #like I know I don't know him and maybe it's my problem that I think of old formula 1 people like that #but I sort of divorce mentally from the fact that old formula 1 grid are actual people they're like distant characters from a complex #mythology #and now I feel like if I was a paesant in ancient Greece and my dad just told me he partied with Dionysius once #does it make sense #rip LdM I don't feel comfortable watching your pictures from the 70s thinking slay twink anymore #I will miss saying you have American Next Top Model hips #do you think it's ethically correct to objectify some twink from the 70s if your dad met him #I know he is still alive now and he's old and stuff I don't care there ard two Luce di Montezemolo in my head one is the one still alive #and I don't give a fuck about him the other is still photogtaph from the 70s and gives me gender envy