#doesnt know what ive done either and cannot say

[jentlemahae]

-

#lol so i responded to that friend of mine bcs i was hurt but also very pissed off #so i sent her a longass message basically saying i was confused by why she’s upset bcs i’ve literally been acting the same as always #and she responded saying she doesn’t what i’ve done either and its more à feeling she has #like UH ? u sent me a long message basically saying im a bad friend and taking advantage of u for a feeling ???? #girl that sounds like a YOU problem #and if i’ve upset her somehow i obviously want to what i’ve done and fix it so i won’t keep hurting her in the future and she’s saying she #doesnt know what ive done either and cannot say #like girl ? #bcs ive been literally acting the same as usual and the only difference with previous years is that now i can go out more freely and am #overall happier and feel more secure #so in a way i cant help but feel like what she has a problem with is me being happy #and i treasure her as a person as well as our friendship so im willing to move past it but shes really hurt me #cause i excused her for years bcs she didn’t have much time for me/us bcs of work and now that im the busy one is suddenly a fault #i mean if we stop being friends i would actually have no friends and that’s sad but to me that’s still better than being friends with #somebody who acts like that #she said she wants some distance and i replied ‘yeah we both need it’ lmao

[moonssalad]

Am I the only one who is disgusted by seeing how many people actually seriously excuse Rhysands fucked up actions?

I have seen so, SO many people talking about how he hid the truth about Feyres pregnancy from her and always excuse it by saying how he didnt want to stress her out 💀. Or that he was looking for a way to save them before he told her, like he shouldve told her right away. And how he told the IC about it before he even told Feyre and told them to keep their mouths shut too and even worse is that they fucking listened to him, like what the fuck?? And how always in discussions about only Rhysand keeping it from Feyre people always start talking about how Madja didnt tell her either, like dude this is a conversation about what an asshole Rhysand is and not about Madja, keep to the topic! And how people hate on Nesta for telling her, like fucking hell. Ive even seen people say that Rhysand not telling her is AS BAD as Nesta telling her to hurt her or whatever. Its just insane, I think I lose braincells every single time I see posts like those 🤯. Feyre literally says throughout the books multiple times how she hates when people choose for her or dont tell her something because they think it would be too much for her and Rhysand literally keeps one of the most important things from Feyre.

Also what the hell was that bullshit about Amren saying how Rhysand should be High King? Hes literally one of the worst options for it. Bro cant even handle 2/3 of his court 💀. And lets so many people suffer in Illyria and Hewn City even though he has had CENTURIES to change something. Honestly none of the IC even try to change something about the Hewn City, like are you seriously telling me that Mor was the only person who was good in that shithole? Whats even more insane is how Mor doesnt change anything about it when she had LIVED THERE for years and now has the power to do it! And Illyria, Cassian seems to be the only one who is actually trying to make it better even though its not really working. Why the hell cant healers heal wings but can heal someone whos guts are basically spilling out?? Hell why the hell doesnt anyone know about c-section? Just insane. What the hell does Rhysand even do for his court? Just sits on his ass and thinks only about Velaris? Because it seems like that.

And am I the only one who was mad how Rhysand chose to show off Feyre as if she was his plaything in the Hewn City. Like yeah yeah keeping up appearances or whatever but how the hell will they see Feyre seriously after that? I think Feyre was in the Hewn City two times and the second was when she was High Lady and Rhysand got her to sit on the throne after the first time he showed her off as his toy. You cannot convince me that the Hewn City residents take Feyre seriously and its all Rhysands fault.

Talking about keeping appearances, the whole 'mask' thing is so stupid. When someone doubts the IC intentions they have the fucking audacity to be mad about it as if they arent the ones who made sure eveyone thought they were all incredibly evil.

I dont even want to start talking about UTM and how fucked up it was.

People always say that he does things like these because he is 'morally grey' but to me hes just a toxic asshole. You dont write a 'morally grey' character and then excuse every fucked up thing he has done, its just not how it works.

Rhysand is literally the worst MMC ever and its insane how so many people say how wonderful he is, how he is the man of their dreams 💀, fucking worried about yall if you seriously think that.

Feyre should take Nesta, Elain and Nyx and get the fuck out of there because they all deserve so much better than this.

#anti rhysand #anti ic #anti inner circle #pro feyre #pro feyre archeron #pro nesta #pro nesta archeron #pro elain #pro elain archeron #feyre archeron #high lady feyre #high lady of the night court #nesta archeron #elain archeron #they deserve so much better #girls pack your bags #take nyx and leave #anti acotar #anti cassian #anti amren #anti morrigan #anti azriel #anti acosf

[sprinklewinkles]

im going to post my thoughts here too... Genuine thoughts to the UC changes. From my perspective. For context i own 16 ucs, that i have gotten via trades, gifts and adoption apps. My first UC, given to me as gift, to trade (which i kept) in March 2019. I have 1 VWN UC the rest are DN -> VBN name formated. To put it out there. I think im okay with this.

My UCs i havnt owned for as long some other folks around for sure, and honestly in the time that ive been trading the announcement that UCs are "coming back" in some form had been around since 2021. So my PC trading period had been spent more in the years leading upto this release vs not.

Trading for UCs was honestly a blast, ive met so many cool people and made many friends over the years. Many whom i speak on a daily basis still. Though it was tough. It was had as fuck. When you start with nothing (i joined neo my first account april 2008. 1 year after conversion) there were so many points in time where i wanted to quit and give up and just convert my UCs pound them and close my accounts. I trained like 5 pets to lv 250 1500hsd. To trade into ucs with. I timer trained with NC training cookies, had FQCs going aswell and ruined my sleep schedual for months. Just to have the quickest outcome to jump into UCs again to work toward the goal of the cat clowder. I dont regret it. And pending on the price of the NC tokens for the upcoming UCs release, i could wager i have spent more NC on training and quest cookies to BD train pets to break into UCs with VS what the tokens will cost. But i had fun doing it! And updating the friends at the time with the progress and where i was going with it!

Honestly i would never wish upon anyone to do the grind to work for an UC it was all consuming (an addictive personality doesnt help here lol) I cannot even bring myself to train pets now, like i have had Sprinkle since Nov 2019 she had lv100 and 300hsd when i first got her. I only got her to lv250 late last year. And shes ment to have been my main BD this whole time. The burnout of the grind was so real. And the struggle and obsessive hours spent trying to work toward a funny little creature. So yeah i dont wish it on anyone. I wish for it to be easier for folks to get their cool art pet, bc not everyone has been as lucky as me to get UCs.

I see alot of folks saying as soon as they get the token they will be pounding their less then VWN UCs in favour of a name they create etc. Which is so valid for starters. But idk the BN names have so much charm. And ppl talk abt UCs liking the nostalgia factor with this change, But like the nostalgia factor could also b the name too. Like SprinkleWinkles is so cute. DN by PC standards. Stinky_minky_2004 has so much funny charm but BN. I wanna know what was stinky in 04 for a kid to make this pet. Love_u_4ever like i just have the name nostalgia w them. I choose my UCs for the names first. Theyre all just funny and make me smile. But the other way is so valid too. Im not discrediting that either. And old pets get a trophy too. Im assuming if theyre older than conversion so april 27th 2007. Which isnt a bad thing!

Idk ive waffled on. But i think im happy w the change and UCs being more accessible. Esp if theyre going to be at a good price point, which a comment from tnt ivy saying she was "plesently surprised" with the price from her as a PCer player whos going to buy them. Going to be providing critical but constructive feedback on thin lined UCs as they come out though cause those will likely be the most changed UCs.

Ive been so done with UC trading for years. And im so ready to get my final 3 UC cats and complete my clowder x3 And im so ready to see other folks get their goal UCs and funky lil pets

#neopets #neotag #main tagging this baby #these were my thoughts from twitter but might aswell post em here too #im ready to legally buy ucs

[strawbs-screaming]

☆ the boxers at a escape room ☆

did this because i felt bad about not posting, will post a weekly update during the weekend + some art hopefully, ive had this on my shoulders for a while, this is so cringe fail

Build-Up

Okay so i made up lore for this escape room:

It's an abandoned hotel, decorated all fancy, theres old couches, fake rotary phones and a bunch of weird symbols used later in the puzzles.

It's really colorful but the theres barely any lightning because the vibes need to be settled, theres a lot of puzzles, including: puns, math and the weird symbols mentioned

The lore starts as a hotel shutting down after a serial killer takes over & goes on a massacre, theres a time limit of 2 hours, when the time is over the game is done & a dude with a really bad voice effect says "the killer has got you" Before the doors open

When theres only a few minutes left, a buzzing sound effect plays

Theres a lot of "fake" spiderwebs with cryptid texts too so enjoy that

Glass Joe

- struggling with the puzzles, his brain is melting

- "we have to turn on the TV for clues i think"

- "or a baking show"

- "either way im watching"

- hes not taking this seriously, at all

- keeps using a prop phone like its real & talking on it, ended up getting into a argument with the air

- laying down on the decorative couches "draw me like one of your french girls.." style when hes tired

- "we're gonna die, is the killer hot at least?"

Von Kaiser

- complete opposite with Joe, hes taking this seriously, too serious

- "I WILL NOT LET THEY EVIL HOTEL MAN KILL US ALL. NO!"

- acting like the evil hotel man will actually get him

- doing really good with the math puzzles, hes a natural

- dialing 911 on the fake rotary phone

- runmaging through everything, no chair left un-thrown, no couch left un-turned, no drawer left closed

- when the 10 minutes notice ringed in he screamed like a goat

Disco Kid

- Just bored, he got dragged along and doesnt feel like doing anything

- "does the TV have anything interesting on it"

- "Disco we are being chased by a evil serial killer i dont think you should be so calm"

- escape rooms dont have enough charm for him like haunted houses

- doing cartwheels across the room, accidentally knocked over a bookshelf and revealed a clue

- hes already done with this shit, let him out

King Hippo

- doesnt have any idea whats going on, hes just confused

- doesnt know whether to help kaiser or laugh with Joe

- thinks the argument between Joe and the air is real

- hes so lost

- "mom i frew up" pose while watching everyone do the puzzles

Piston Hondo

- calmly trying to do the puzzles

- trying to help kaiser calm down

- laughed at disco toppling over the bookshelf for a solid 20 minutes

- hes SLAYİNG the puzzles

- "Joe did you take your meds?? You're arguing with the air"

- "wait i got too caught up"

- He isnt taking this seriously but isnt fucking around like Joe either, hes doing his best to have fun, not too much fun

Great Tiger

- also messing around with Joe, both of them are hysterically laughing at everything knowing damn well they dont know whats going on + cant solve a puzzle to save their lives

- "whens the baking show coming on??"

- reading the books on the bookshelf disco kid rko'd

- He could be helpful but he refuses to because seeing everyone go batshit is hilarious

- keeps tripping over the carpets

Bear Hugger

- him & hondo are peacefully doing puzzles while everyone else is going apeshit, hes having fun

- re-organized the bookshelf disco kid slammed down on, he knows damn well they dont get paid enough for this bs

- cheering Joe on his fight with the atoms

- cleaning up behind everyone because hes a decent person

Don Flamenco

- very confused, he thinks theyre all stuck in a silly room for nothing, cannot do puzzles & cannot be silly at all

- Just wandering around & looking for clues

- hes concerned, not only for the boxers but the employees

- thinks the decorations look great, taking notes for his room

Aran Ryan

- doing his evil gremlin thing, chucking stuff, sneaking around, rolling on the floor, hes simply thriving

- scaring people for fun

- hysterically laughing at everything because the lightning is shitty & that makes everything funnier for him

- saying the dumbest shit

- got inspired by disco kid wrecking the bookshelf and decided to throw a couch across the room

- laughing at the wall

Soda Popinski

- Really confused along with King hippo

- hes just following everyone around like a sick puppy

- sad that he cant bring his soda but understands because he has spilled soda multiple times on his stuff and suffered the consequences

- awkward shrugging anytime someone asks him whats going on

Bald Bull

- also hysterically laughing with aran, bad lightning with cheap horror music fits too well for him

- him & aran are cackling at kaiser knowing damn well they both need therapy

- Just having fun

- He doesnt give a shit about anything right now, this is one of the only times he can maniacally laugh at thin air and not get stared at

- was the one to convince disco kid to do a cartwheel

Super Macho Man

- pretending to understand whats going on, Just as confused as soda

- Really bored

- not much to say, hes just.. neutral

Mr Sandman

- Really calm & carrying the entire team

- concerned for aran & bull since he was the only one to notice them maniacally cackle at thin air

- suprisingly not ready to punch someone out into orbit

- extremely worried for disco's bones because no one throws a entire bookshelf onto themselves and walks away fine

- brought a camera to get some real gems

- keeps coughing like hes on life support because of the ridiculous amount of dust

Extra

They made it out suprisingly thanks to hondo & sandman (barely)

Don realized he has some problems with his lungs after that trip because holy shit he was fighting for his life

Sandman convinced aran & bull to go to therapist (somehow)

Joe enjoyed taking out his anger out on a cheap fake rotary phone

Disco needed to go to the hospital after the bookshelf incident, no one is letting the fact that he broke his back thanks to a bookshelf go

Piston Hondo & bear hugger do sudoku together now since they realized they both enjoy math puzzles

Great Tiger still laughs about the bookshelf incident at night when trying to sleep

#punch out #headcanon #punch out wii #punch out headcanons #don flamenco #bald bull #piston hondo #glass joe #aran ryan #great tiger

[camzverse]

CASSIDY MICHAEL AND ROXY!!!!!

YAAYYY

sorry for answering like two weeks late btw 💀💀💀💀 ignore rhattt

(i wanted 2 do all three but like theres practically no canon information about cassidy.. this shit a travesty forreal. like what do we even know about her besides some logbook and ucn stuff. Sighh............ so just mikey n roxy i GUESS)

michaelllll

favorite thing about them: either the way he just watches that little vampire soap opera every night (So silly) or the fact he can draw. his little drawings in the logbook...

least favorite thing about them: him being a little BITCH in fnaf4. he was straiggt up INFURIATING. if i ever encountered 1983 mike its ON SIGHT

favorite line: "he tripped and fell on freddys teeth not our fault" <-ITS SO FUNNY TO ME WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM . that or his whole "i should be dead but im not im going to come find you" speech it was pretty cool tbh. he ate

brOTP: Does he even have friends. wait do him and helpy count theyre so silly. freak corpse father and little toy bear son... im not sure what does and doesnt count as a brotp lmao

OTP: dont really care that much for shipping him but jeremike is soo fun :3 i like them

nOTP: ummm idk i guess just. Not the icky stuff yk. cant really think of anything else

random headcanon: i personally lov the idea that he kinda designed foxy. like he came up w the idea in like a drawing. i think its neat

unpopular opinion: idk exactly how unpopular this is but ive seen a loott of people saying it and. i dont think mike was mean 2 evan bc elizabeth died and he took it out on him or Whatever tf it is people think (i also dont even think she was dead at this point. imo) i think he was just mean bc. he just was mean yk. he just enjoyed being mean to ev and scaring him. as older brothers often do. i just dont think there was some deeper reason i really believe he was just being mean for the sake of fucking w his sibling. side note i dont think he ever wouldve taken it as far as the bite incident on his own i think that was jst a special case bc his bullying was being super enabled by his equally dickheaded friends. ykwim? not like he wasnt at fault he absolutely was but like i think it was a mob mentality kinda thing. if thta even makes sense. Anyway

song i associate with them: cop car by mitski.... something something "i will never die" Also michael afton + dog metaphor makes me insane

favorite picture of them:

he is Lookingg..

roxyy!!!

favorite thing about them: i LOVE her design. and also her personality. shes just a really cool and interesting character as a whole i like what theyve done in creating her. Ok thats not really a fav thing ermm im gonna go w her design cuz it goes so hard

least favorite thing about them: shes a gregory hater and i cannot get behind that !! Sorry queen u fell off

favorite line: def either "sign up today and be a WINNER! nobody likes a loser 🙄🙄" (i love the way she says it its so funny 2 me) or "i remember because you are number one—twice :)" (aww CRIES)

brOTP: do her and cassie count. Theyre everything. i really do not think i am understanding brotp correctly but its not like theres that many options either. whatevr. OOHhhh yk what i really fw roxy-freddy friendship. their dynamic intrigues me....

OTP: also not big on shipping for roxy but i yhink roxica is cutee ^_^

nOTP: umm i have no idea actualky. lmao

random headcanon: she is a #lesbian she kisses girls shes a big fan of women etc u get it. also hc that when kids go in her green room and they play the racing arcade machine she starts backseat gaming them like crazy . shes just mad she cant play the game herself lmao

unpopular opinion: umm i dont think i really have one Question mark.. tbh i feel like people dont talk about roxy that much so im not sure what Is a popular opinion. people should talk about her more shes interesting

song i associate with them: what you waiting for by gwen stefani!!!!! actually bc of that one roxy drawing u made that had that song LOL

favorite picture of them:

shes so cool..

#cam.txt

[transdib]

every day i live in a passive limbo, waiting for the moment i suddenly feel better and can confront my anxiety, paranoia, and loneliness.

i feel like i have been shattered, and left in pieces with no glue to be put back together.

every day my existentialism and history of being gaslit dominates my brain and i can never make sense of my thoughts and feelings. i am constantly second-guessing myself, and implanting intentions that weren't previously there. i feel like i am required to have constant self-awareness, and to not have so means that i am Obviously Insane and Unsalvagable.

people on the outside would think im just a very holistic thinking person. which is true, and can be a good thing. but honestly? it's detrimental to how i perceive myself. i cannot unabashedly live in the moment of anything. i am, by default, viewing myself from a third person perspective in a hyper critical way. i feel afraid to fall into any category of people or labels, because to claim anything about myself is felt to either be a lie, a mockery of people who are "really" that thing, or it's attention seeking (which of course is the worst thing you could ever do right?)

even claiming to be existential causes a fear and anxiety that i am being pretentious or not self aware that it's a very human experience. my detachment from the world, my trauma, my existentialism, none of it is important or matters because others experience it too.

i cannot begin to describe what gaslighting does to the brain.

what it's done to me.

i dont even wanna claim ive become very isolated because others also experience it. id say the lockdowns from 2020-2021 triggered this, but i think more and more and realise that i wouldve done this when my mum died, or even earlier had i not had a confident person with friends take me under their wing.

i feel my whole life has come into question. i feel like my old home, my old life, my friends and pet and loved ones, dont exist anymore. i feel like im a dead person, looking back on their life and realising who i really was. all the mistakes and inconsiderate behaviours i ever done. it just fuels the fire of the gaslit brain.

everything i ever do or feel is a contradiction. i dont matter to others, but i also have more of an impact on others than i realise. the impact i have matters more than what im ever feeling, and for me to not be self aware of that clearly demonstrates how selfish and horrible i truly am.

maybe it's why people think im such a giving, non-judgemental, and sweet person. im not. im angry. im subjugated. im frightened. like a deer in the headlights, i have no choice. im easygoing and agreeable because i am scared of disagreeing or giving my thoughts through normal debate. because doing so in the past has caused assumptions about me, or intentions skewed or created. my words did not matter, but also they did.

i dont know how to just. start talking to people again. i have been given advice from people who have dealt with isolation but. i know the secret is to challenge yourself and do things even when you dont feel ready, because youll never feel ready, but how? i have lost so much. i dont have the support i need to do something so brave. because i am a coward who avoids and runs away. thats probably manipulative for me to do anyway. ive dug myself into a hole i cant climb out of. ive literally made it worse for myself for no reason. and now i cant even face the consequences of my own inaction.

but why would i wish for people to be there for me when i cant even be there for them? i know i would be there for them, in a heartbeat, but i cannot right now. thats selfish and manipulative to say i guess but. it's not fair that others dont get considered as a result of me not considering myself. mental illness makes you selfish. it makes you not a good friend.

i want to be a real friend.

dont wanna break when i bend.

.....

i have a therapist im gonna be seeing every 2 weeks. if this doesnt work out, then idk what i'll do. i have settled for the most part, and when life feels good, when my roots are grounding and growing in england, it feels good. i dont have many friends here, but i am happy with my partner and his friends, but it feels like i have so many loose ends and a life i have left behind that i cant face. and i am guilty when i experience happiness, let alone share it. because that doesnt align with my narrative that im suffering. which i am, but, i am also trying to survive and live in the life i currently have.

i guess that's what happens to the gaslit brain.

but i have to believe things will get better.

because if i don't

then what?

#life of doge #negative rtshrthrth #tw for abuse or gaslighting or whatever #idk why im posting this this is such a traumadump im sorry #its long and self pitying im sorry

[xxxjarchiexxx]

i am trying to read more about bi lesbianism bcuz i do want to understand but everything i have been able to find is like. bonkers transphobic??? everything ive found that isnt "i like girls extra so just bi doesnt work" is "trans men can be lesbians because of having a vagine" and it just. confuses me? many of these people seem to be saying lesboys exist which strong agree but so much seems to be focused on tme people and comes off like a weird progressive reskin of excluding trans women from sapphic spaces, and i KNOW thats not actually the core idea or meaning bcuz i have seen a lot of transfems identify with bi lesbianism!!! i just want to understand bcuz i truly believe ppl are functioning in good faith and genuine self identification and i am over trying to police anything or making my opinion on label functionality a problem like. ill never be cool with social media posts blowing up abt how Lesbians Fuck Men but otherwise personal labels i truly dont care and want to understand so im capable of approaching the subject in good faith and not ignorance, but i genuinely can't find anything that isn't bigotted*.

i know that online communities of bi lesbians arent to blame for things like sexual violence or anything and any bigotry espoused is problematic on its own right regardless of self identity, feel a need to say that explicitly because i have also noticed that as a talking point where people either victim blame Bad Lesbians for violence or it is assumed that the person is when asking about this

i am open to discourse and people chiming in on this post or sending asks if it is done in good faith because i cannot stress enough how much i am trying to approach this with an open mind and learn more, i just am like. not finding anything that isn't biphobic or transmisogynistic or reiterating people can do what they want, so if you have answers here that isnt that i would love that

*exception 2 split attraction model ppl or lesbians who fool around with men and use bisexual to describe sexual activity i get that but that doesnt seem to be a majority of people

[mossy-covered-bones]

I absolutely cannot contribute my fair share to an architecture discussion as I know 0 about it but I would be 100% happy to listen

No thats totally fine i spent almost two hours rambling w my mom abt sociopolitical associations of some styles and she isnt too familiar either

But uh. I have many opinions i would love to share. On roofs and silhouettes. Gods i have so many thoughts about roofs

I will say the passion projects ive done have focused on the us and the western influences so my familiarity w architecture is very eurocentric but alas

First off: im generally a fan of gabled roofs. I like the triangles. Around 20 degrees is probably ideal

Also like. Look at this house its beautiful. Italianate fucks so hard, look at those windows! The tower!

Italianate actually tends towards really shallow hipped roofs, which i really love. Im not a huge fan of hipped roofs but the low angles + floor variation really sells it

Places hipped roofs do NOT look cool are the steeper angles in more uniform roofs, like in the classic ranch style shapes. Look at them. Wheres the flavor. These guys never even have covered porches, just garages too big for the building theyre attached to. I have mixed feelings abt ranch style

Like look how much flavor suburban houses add to their roofs. Yes suburbs objectively suck and only the street side looks good but the street side looks Very Good. All the gables and the intersections between the two different directions and that nice shaped dormer on the left. Huge fan of gabled dormers, the slanted roofed ones just dont hit the same

Also, and dont hate me for this, but i dont like craftsman style houses. Look at them. Their roofs arent as steep as suburban houses, w the 35-45 degree roofs necessary to provide enough variation between the many sections. Theyre just less interesting and so overdone—its like every western states upper middle class nuclear family ever, yknow? The style and colors have so little variation. You can do better, more inspired styles with those large wooden beams

Okay but back to silhouettes—one thing that never fails to improve a building are towers. Just look at the square italianate towers above, and look at the romantic area ~ideal fantasy castle~

(Fun fact the second picture is schloss newschwannstein. Ive been there its awesome and they really lean in ti the romantic aesthetic)

Like they add these nice little variations in form and height, rounded areas in seas of rectangles, and theyve got those awesome pointed roofs. Whats not to love, towers never lose. Also i just really love romantic architecture

Plus like. Scottish baronial style? Its romantic AND victorian inspired. Doesnt get any sexier than that

Look at the roof lines, the formers, the shapes. And those little tower protrusions on the right one, the tourelles? Those look so cool and theyve VERY typical to this style i love it. I love all the little variations of romanticism, especially the quainter Arts and Crafts style the gardens are always so beautiful

I am unfortunately out of image space so uh. Please feel free to ask me follow up questions! I love talking abt this shit and i have SO many opinions. And i love talking in general

Im trying ti get better at identifying styles rn too so lotsa wikipedia and photos its great

#no id #sev rambles #architecture #its talking about architecture again #gods i love romanticism it really has no losses

[moonjxsung]

hi star my little moonlit angel 😔💖💖

aa im having like the most stressful week and idk where to talk abt it so i hope you dont mind me dumping for a sec :((

exams are killing me rn and idk if its finals week or my final week cs holy shit i am dying 😭😭

ive been pulling all nighters trying to get all my projects and group studies done and my exams are DEF not helping in my case and idk if ive even been eating properly there's probably a spoiled banana from last week in my bag somewhere atp 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️ (im going mentally insane)

i havent even properly been on tumblr in a while and my social media is blowing up w notifs and dms from friends and ive been too busy to check it either tbh

honestly im hoping itll all turn out well by next week cs is my winter break 🤧

on another note i wanted to dump on my exes when all your anons were doing it but i was too scared to but now i genuinely need to tell u abt this because umm

my fwb is like a super nice guy and ive been friends w him for a while but i recently found out hes rlly good friends with one of my exes ⁉️

basically i asked (my ex) out once and he said yes and i thought we were chill but a few friends ended up asking him if we were dating like two days later without asking me for confirmation first and he said no.. (??)

i assumed he js didnt want like a too public relationship with everyone knowing so to clarify i asked him what was up and he said he ended up having second thoughts on me because his friends called me a red flag and he doesnt like the fact that i have guy friends and im close with them.... (💀💀)

so then i said oh okay..? 😭 and was over it but almost a month later he asked me out and atp he just gave me the icks so i made an excuse saying that i wanna focus on academics and not do anything relationship wise and he said he would wait 😭😭 (he in fact did not pick up the hint!)

then a little over month later he asked me out AGAIN and i said no i dont think i like you anymore sorry and he said oh that's fine and i thought we were chill??

a week later my messages BLEW UP one day and my guy friends were all snitching on him telling me that he's gong around slutshaming me and talking shit abt me for no reason and he said i was desperate and asked him out 3 times when he said no and he was never interested in me in the first place.. and then proceeded to sexualize my body and say weird ass shit abt it to everyone and they believed that i was a desperate whore or smth 😭

this happened a year ago but i was walking down the halls around a month ago and i saw him with his friends so i just rushed past

and his friends were like "oh isnt that the bitch who liked you?" and i heard him say "oh yeah she liked me like a year ago" and then proceeded to sexualize me while i was right fucking there but i dont even want any more drama w him so i dont bother saying anything back or leaking messages or wtv i js hope karma gets back at him 😭

and now idk if i should tell my fwb abt this?? or maybe it doesnt really concern me but it bothers me that hes hanging out with a guy like that and im conflicted on what to do

its not like i have the right to tell him who to be friends with either so 🤷‍♀️

what should i dooo

-《as always, your occasionally appearing but always stalking ☘ annonie》

(p.s. do you have any spotify song reccomendations 🥺🥺)

much lovee

Pooooookie you can always vent here ily ily :(

I’m so sorry to hear you’re stressed from exams :(( I’m rooting for you okay !! Please make sure to eat whenever you can (even if it’s something small!) and stay hydrated :( what’s the use of doing good on finals if your body gives out on you :(

No I feel u on the social media thing I get SO stressed when I have DMs or texts or whatever I just flat out don’t check them. I think I have 200 unread texts rn (it’s been around 1000 at some point) and I know im such a shitty friend but I just cannot respond to them 😭😭 I gotta put me first you guys

WINTER BREAK NEXT WEEK THOOO hang in there baby it’ll get better soon 🥺🫶🫶🫶🫶

OH MY GOD???? Pookie that’s fucking disgusting I’m so sorry you’re dealing with men like that rn???? I had a veryyyy similar situation with a guy who my friend tried to set me up with at a party who kinda liked for a little bit and then when I said I was comfortable being in a relationship he started slutshaming me to everyone under the fucking SUN and apparently he had a discord group where I was just CONSTANTLY the topic of conversation and when I heard about it I cried so hard ☹️ in my case I also had people who were friends with him and I voiced to them that it made me severely uncomfortable. Like the people in my life should know about the people who wronged me (especially if I’m sleeping with them??) and it just made me feel safer. It’s obviously up to you but I would probably tell him just so that he knows that’s someone you’re weary about and you don’t feel safe around ☹️ your safety and your wellbeing is the most important thing pookie ☹️ keep me posted if you need anything at all okay I love you lots and I’m sorry you’re going through this ☹️🫶

Song recs song recs yes here are some I’ve been listening to on repeat all week (there’s only like one kpop song in there but it’s my fav kpop song of all time so TRUST it was gonna make it to the list) I’ve been listening to Glass Animals, TV Girl and M83 on repeat for the entire year I think 😭😭

I love you endlessly okay keep you chin up better days are coming for us !! 🫶🫶🫶🫶 soon it’ll be winter break and you can just sit back and drink hot chocolate and tell me all about it and say you lived through it. Hang in there my love

#☘️ anon #ask

[jiraikwei]

pet peeve

sorry this post just turns into insane ranting garble i start sounding like im 12 , theres nothing of substance to read

this is something insanely stupid and even hypocritical of me to get annoyed at , but i absolutely cannot stand it when people online pretend like they're more mentally ill than they are . i hate when people put some sort of mental illness wordsalad in their bios like ' jirai ' , ' landmine girl ' , ' menhera ' i hate when people obviously try to act like ame / kangel after playing NSO or some other fictional character when they were absolutely nothing like them before . they practically brag about being mentally ill and then only showcase the same 5 symptoms that are insanely fetishized and none of the 100 others that aren't as ' cute ' . it makes me lose my mind . it feels like such a disgusting mockery it makes me want to rip my skin open . i cant stand even imagining anyone could see these shitty obvious yandere larp posts and put op on the same level as someone whos actually struggling . just this unbridled rage festers inside of me you dont know what its like stop fucking quoting anime characters so you can achieve some aesthetic go fuck yourself

i hate it because i hate myself and i hate the things i do , witnessing someone grift on the KAWAII DESU symptoms while im on a private twitter account typing the most disgusting unforgivable things i can possibly conjure up about the people i love because of how angry i feel over something so idiotically , stupidly minuscule like an actual fucking child . i cant make a single friend in my life because im genuinely so terrified of people and their intentions with me that when i somehow make a friend i genuinely think that they're only playing some long con because they want to ruin my life . im so lonely but i legitimately cannot handle having friends because they can say ANYTHING and my mind will twist it to some insane act of pure hatred against me and then my hands are shaking and i cant focus on anything for the next few hours and i cant stop crying and cutting myself and im planning extensively how to tell them i cant be friends with them because i just cant take it anymore and oh nevermind suddenly im fine again . but at the same time if someones too nice all the time my fucking brain will start losing interest in them because apparently i NEED them to pull away from me and be a fucking asshole to me because im some sort of insane emotional masochist !!! i cant speak my mind with anyone even if they're obviously in the wrong and being mean to me when ive done nothing because i just know they're going to leave if i reciprocate with any sort of pushback so i just ghost them instead which makes the situation even more complicated or i have some sort of tantrum where i accuse them of the most schizotypal shit instead of actually discussing it like a normal person . its actually indescribable how embarassing it is to retain that " my parents didnt buy me candy so they hate me " mindset from when i was 8 years old all the way until 15 . and everything with me has to be some sort of extreme . i cant even like something normally i have to be obsessed with it to an emotionally deteriorating degree . i cant feel somewhat bad about something it had to feel like my world is ending and that ill never be happy again . why am i fucking feeling like this because of the sub count of a VTUBER . and then all of life is just a cycle of yearning for shit and feeling bad for myself " why cant i do this why cant i be better at this you can either be bad or a prodigy and im not a prodigy and i dont care if im 15 i need to be better than 28 year olds at this or else im a total fucking failure " and i fucking bet you if i would ever reach that prodigy status i would feel absolutely nothing about it and my brain would latch unto the next thing to feel bad about " ok well im not good at * that * i need to be good at * that * it doesnt matter if im good at * this * anyone can be good at * this * i need to be good as * that * as well " . it is legitimately either all or nothing with me and i cant stand either of those options . i hate feeling empty and i hate being obsessed with someone to the point of emotional spiraling 5 times a day but there can never be an inbetween option . im intensely angry about everything

and the most insanely retarded part about all of this , is that given the choice i wouldnt want to get better . this is all that i am . i am nothing without this disorder . if i dont have this disorder nobody will care about me or be gentle with me anymore . i will forever mentally be a child that only wants someone to take care of them and if i dont have this disorder there will be nothing to take care of . nobody will care . but heres the kicker ; nobody cares already . strangers are gentle with me because i have a sad look in my eyes but thats all there is . i just cant bring myself to actually talk about what i go through . all anyone sees is that im energetic and then suddenly sad within an single second interval or that i just stare ahead at shit like a zoo animal or that i cut myself sometimes . i cant even fully bring up and elaborate on extremely heavy topics that i go through on twitter or on this blog because it feels so wrong to imagine someone connecting something as dark as that with * me * . i want attention but i dont talk about shit . i dont want to talk about shit . i already utterly despise seeing the look people get in their faces when they somehow catch a glimpse at my sh scars or for gods sake fucking mentions it to me " dont do that to yourself " please dont worry about me and make me feel like a horrible burden when im trying my hardest to seem okay so i can be an enjoyable person to be around . having a person worried about someone as disgustingly rotted , parasitic and inhuman as me is the worst thing to inflect on someone , its like feeling bad for a dying cockroach . i mean just read the first part of this ramble to see how shitty of a person i am where i exaggerate my symptoms to make myself look like i suffer more than other people and put down anyone who dares to express their symptoms differently

its over for me

[veeranger]

Vee’s Steam Summer Sale Reccs

as always these are just personal opinions etc etc please look up some real reviews before buying a game if you aren’t sure and remember that steam will give you a full refund if you have less than 2 hours played in under 2 weeks.

VISUAL NOVELS

AI: The Somnium Files - $7.99

one of the finest mystery games you can play imo. maybe uchikoshi’s best work. a perfect blend of mystery, character, and style. every character and conversation is compelling in its own way and every little thing builds up to the huge moments which makes them all feel totally earned. as always uchikoshi is a genius in the way he blends his signature branching timeline style with the themes and core concepts of the game. the twists and turns this game goes down are so crazy that weeks later you’ll still be realizing how all the little things you thought were just quirks were actually foreshadowing. cannot recc this enough tbh.

Zero Escape: The Nonary Games - $11.99

another uchikoshi joint, also extremely good. ive only played 999, the first game in this collection, but i can recc it just based on the strength of that alone. whereas somnium is a murder mystery, 999 is a visual novel about being trapped in a murder game interspliced with escape room segments. whatever you think you know you dont, 999 will take you down so many twists and turns you’ll be fucking dizzy when you’re done with it. big recc.

VA-11 HALL-A: Cyberpunk Bartender Action - $10.04

i could probably talk about this game for as long as the others, even though its way way less complex. va-11 hall-a doesnt have a huge sweeping story with insane twists and massive reveals, but what it does have is an extremely personal narrative about loss, healing, and just living your life the best way you can in a horrible dystopian world. the cast of characters feel utterly real and you learn about the world they inhabit through interactions with them, rather than being infodumped by exposition. everyone has their own story and everyone is just trying to get by, including you. one of the best small scale personal narrative games ive ever played.

Night In The Woods - $9.99

another vn i would consider “small scale” but equally as impactful. nitw is a story about a disillusioned and struggling college drop out returning to her economically declining home town. nobody is secure, nobody is happy, everyone is suffering through their daily lives. you follow mae as she struggled to readjust to her childhood home and the people she left behind. until something happens that changes her priorities radically. all ill say. despite how i just made it sound, nitw is not all depressing. theres lighthearted moments and wacky days to cut through the bleak fog, as well as genuinely heartfelt moments that feel very earned. nitw is a game i think that everyone struggling through their 20s should play.

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy - $14.99

a trilogy of some of the most iconic visual novels ever made. if you havent played ace attorney what the hell are you doing? these games blend outlandish humor and engaging characters with genuinely impactful writing and thoughtful social commentary. these are truly genuinely classics and i cannot express the kind of treat youre in for if youve never experienced these games.

The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles - $24.79

imagine the ace attorney trilogy but with the serious themes and social commentary turned up a few notches. great ace attorney is what you’d get. like the trilogy this is multiple games bundled into one (two of them) and is a great value. a must play for fans of the originals, and frankly a perfect jumping point for new fans as well, if you so choose to. you cant go wrong with either the trilogy or tgaa.

SHOOTERS

Halo: The Master Chief Collection - $15.99

yes obviously im going to shill for mcc. this is SIX whole games. fully functioning multiplayer, custom lobbies, co-op, everything you remember from these games on xbox but better. this is literally $360 worth of games for $16. if youve ever been curious about this iconic franchise or want to relive the xbox live days, mcc is damn near perfect.

Portal 1 & 2 - $2.98

honestly its 2022 and you dont own portal? cmon. two of the best narrative puzzle games ever made. a strong argument for games as art. incredibly clever game design and timeless writing. the portal games are something everyone should experience. i paid like $80 for these games back in the day, the fact that you can get some of the greatest games ever made for $3 is astounding. yes this is technically a shooter.

DUSK - $8.99

an extremely fine shooter. excellent level design, outstanding sound design, amazing art direction. dusk isnt just a retro throwback, it pushes the style and mechanic of those classics forward to heights that were impossible back then. imo dusk is a modern classic when it comes it a tight, well designed shooter.

ULTRAKILL - $14.99

an extremely fine shooter. excellent level design, outstanding sound design, amazing art direction. didnt i just say that. its still true. ultrakill is a game that will test your reflexes, text your ability to adapt on the fly, and demand you do everything as stylishly cool as fuckin possible. when they call this game “devil may quake” theyre not joking. the skill ceiling is insanely high but the skill floor can be as low as you want it thanks to very granular difficulty and accessibility options. the game will push you to want to learn the tech and master everything, but it never stops you from just wanting to have fun above all else. theres also a demo! 

DEATHLOOP - $23.99

another excellent experience from the fine folks at arkane studios. deathloop combines combat that is fast and snappy thanks to unique powers and cool guns, with a story you slowly unravel piece by piece. the way the story unfolds and the immense amount of interaction you have with that almost makes you feel like youre playing a detective game. the game does an excellent job of making you feel like you are constantly making progress through exploration and discoveries that get you one step closer to your ultimate goal, or even just small things like discovering a new safer route to a target or getting a new powerful gun thanks to a side quest or secret area you stumbled upon.

HORROR

Dead Space - $4.99

re4....in space!!!! dead space is a horror classic imo. while obviously inspired by re4, it takes the design and aesthetic in its own direction, and is a more modern controlling experience compared to re4. the atmosphere and feel of dead space is intensely good, and even when you get used to the scares the game is still a tight and well executed third person shooter that demands smart use of ammo and careful avoidance of damage.

Resident Evil 2 (Remake) - $14.99

one of THE finest horror games ive ever played. the action is always tense, the strategy is interesting and difficult, and the atmosphere is top notch. what i said about dead space becoming a tight third person shooter after the scares wear off goes double here. re2 is a very very tactical experience that asks you to carefully consider your inventory and route every time you step out of a safe room, and the stress of that management can be scarier than any zombie. i cannot overstate how well tuned the game experience is. 

System Shock 2 - $2.49

yes ss2 is horror. one of the finest classic pc games you can play. frankly unmatched even by some modern outings. if youre an avid gamer you’ve surely played many a game that were inspired by the legendary tone and style of this game. i recc this game to anyone who wants to experience some truly iconic sci fi horror, but i will this game can be pretty brutal if you build a character wrong. if you dont have the patience for old school hardcore trial and error, dont be afraid to check a guide or two, but i promise the game is worth it.

ACTION

Bayonetta - $4.99

one of THE defining character action games. bayonetta is a modern masterpiece that should always be recc’d whenever possible. stylish action and impeccable mechanics, just dont ask me to explain the plot.

Metal Gear Rising: Revengence - $7.49

while mgr might be slightly more experimental and obtuse than your average modern character action, and to some it may be the meme game, it has earned its place as one of the greats imo. if you let yourself indulge in the game the plot is genuinely impactful and the combat is extremely rewarding once you put the work in to grasp the systems at play.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder's Revenge - $22.49

a simply fantastic game. a complete no brainer if you love brawlers or tmnt. the art direction is beautiful and so so detailed for a sprite game, combat is simple to grasp and easy to execute, and the soundtrack elevates the game extremely. this game pivots away from the cheap quarter munching design of the games it takes its direct inspiration from, and instead supplements that with the ability to let you truly display skill and mastery of the game through combos, supers, and intelligent positioning. also it has 6 PLAYER CO-OP

#veepost

[enhypen-scholarship]

enhypen hyung line reaction to you being sick

a/n's note: jajsod holy duck ive been so quiet the past few months idk why im losing motivation😞 either way i hope u guys enjoy this deffo not proofread btw.

warning: just being sick

---

heeseung -

• honestly hee would be so caring and affectionate, "hey babe, im going outside do u want anything?" he'd be like that

• he would text u every 15 mins since hes out of the house, doing house errands for u since u cant do it (i need him😞)

• and once hes stepped foot of the house he'd immediately drop the stuffs down carefully and speeding up upstairs to check if u were still alive and breathing

• "baby i got some medicines for u." he'd say, u better thank him for taking care of u coz he loves u so much ☹️☹️☹️

• and then at the end of the day, once u've recovered u smother his face w light kisses and pecks as a thank u gift. he'd honestly be so surprised but happy at the same time.

jay -

• aaaaa my boy jay!!!!! he'd be like hee but more of like a mother yk? he'd scold u for doing stuff that u should not be doing, he would cook for u clean the entire house, go outside and buy medicine

• (tbh i dont think he needs to go outside to buy medicine coz he got some stuff hidden on his drawers or what)

• he'd constantly check up on u if ure doing great🥹🥹 i want a jay. then he'd get the temp measure(??) and see if ur temps lowered down

• he'd deffo be disappointed knowing that ur still not okay since he cant cuddle u and like kiss u. that would be planned for another day

• "hey angel, are u okay? u need some help?" he'd ask as he opened the door to ur room, u'd say no but that doesnt mean he cant help u standing

• once u recovered and ur temp went back to normal he'd be so relieved, he can finally hug and kiss u, and that, you do.

jake -

• my lil aussie boy 🥹🫶 i think he'd be like so clueless why u were suffocating urself w dozens of blankets w ur entire body, he'd sneak up and say, "love, r u ok?"

• HES SO CLUELESS LIKE A LIL PUP😭 u were like "yeah, i think im sick baby."

• he'd internally panick as soon as u said u were sick, but he needed to be THAT boyfie for u when his lil bub is sick🥺🥺 (ok what now)

• he'd go to the nearest pharmacist and ask then what kinda med would effectively help when sick, so he came home w shit tons of healthy foods 😭

• u were so shocked like "am i dying?" 🤡

• he'd prolly say "love lets go get a warm and soft bath yeah?"

• and u'd agree coz hell yeah u feel like ur entire body was like spice.

• at the end of the day lil boy jakey would be so happy knowing ure alright🥰🥰

sunghoon -

he'd be so worried but like jake at the same time, give u warm and soft bath to calm ur nerves

he'd (at least) try to cook for u because he feels bad for u that he cannot do anything for u but cooking so he did it

he'd knock on the door where u were laying like a little cute pumpkin and take care of u like the good bf he is.

u ate his food and well , yeah it was so good🥺

THE NEXT DAY U WERE DOING WELL he'd be on your arms not less than miliseconds

------

yehheyyyy im done w this srry if its sjort im rlly sleep rn and i have school😭😭

#sim jake x reader #park jongseong #park sunghoon x reader #lee heeseung #enhypen 02z #i tried my best

[tuxedokit]

dion almost bitterly pointing out that even if ford was the root cause, it was still her parents who actually and actively hurt her. it was still their actions, driven by their fear, that lead to her isolation. yeah, ford is partly to blame—but they're not free of the blame, either

dion pushing them away for a bit, only to fold so quickly, because no matter how much it hurts all dion ever wanted was for mom and dad to love him again... and now here they are. and dion finally isnt so alone anymore.

dion only yells at them when the little ones arent around, though. she doesnt want to scare them. theyre just kids. just like he was.

dona might beg for forgiveness, plead with her baby, shes so sorry, she was just so scared. dion replies "so the fuck was i! i was a child! your child!" dona promises to make it right somehow... dion doesnt know whether to trust her. but dion wants to, so badly. she cant make it right, she cant undo whats been done. but she can do everything in her power to be a better mother now.

augustus says it straight up: you may never forgive me, and i wont hold it against you if you dont. im sorry for allowing that fear, my fear, to take away the father you deserved. ive failed you, dion, and i will forever regret it. i was so worried about protecting us from the curse, i lost sight of who i was fighting for. what was done cannot be undone... but, if you will, please, let me try to make it up to you now.

#cry me a river au #tuxedokit writings

[crypt1niite]

warning!! so many how to train your dragon: race to the edge spoilers below the cut!!!!!! ive rewatched it many times, and my musings often include talking about how things are foreshadowing to future events!! which means those future events will be spoiled alot!!!!

i decided to rewatch it, but write down my reactions and things i found interesting this time!!! this is episodes 1-5, and ill be posting these in installments of about the same size!!! unfortunately, that size turned out to be about 2k words long, which is alot!! this is the trimmed version, which clocks out at about 800!! ill add a link to the full version below!! it has more of my personal opinions + things i found interesting/cute!! but you can definitely get the general gist with this version!

link to the full 2k one with all my ramblings, insead!!

Ep 1

-dagur is genuinely spooky!!

-HIS GIGGLES!!!!

-hiccup and toothless r so cute, they have the best dynamic

-“i seriously need to get my own wings” adore the foreshadowing to the flightsuit!!!

-hiccup & stoic r so fun, hiccup is full of shit, he knows it, stoic definitely knows it

-snotlout is so sassy i love him

-with the power of hindsight?? johann is so shady??? his story doesn’t rlly hold up to scrutiny

-snotlout immediately yelling at fishlegs to grab his leg the moment he gets a grip on something??? i love how he shows he really cares thru his actions even tho hes a total dick all the time

-dagur genuinely knowing hiccup well, while being extremely unpredictable himself, nearly entirely so, is what makes him such a difficult foe and a genuinely intimidating villain at times

Ep 2

-fishlegs, abt to die “oohh!! cool metal!!!” ND KING.

-guys! dragon calls!; hence starts the stupidest fucking noises ive ever heard, JUST WHISTLE OR SOMETHING

-ruffnutt laughing when tuff passes out from the tranq dart is peak sibling

-"i cant say that to him!! hes the cheifs son!!" did gothi just cuss hiccup tf out?? also, hiccup, stop ignoring other ppls trauma and needs for your dragon hyperfixation, babe

-gobber implying he only has one leg bc him mother cut it off when he got a thorn in his foot??

-someone explain dragon biology, snow wraith walks on its wings like a quadraped, but its wings are placed on its back, not its shoulders, like the six-limbed dragons?? look at hookfang and toothless, hookfangs wings are at his shoulders because they are his front legs, toothless’s are at his back because they are an extra third pair of limbs, the snow wraiths is placed like toothless’s but functions like hookfangs???? i am aware i am looking too deeply into this but i cannot help but think

-gobber is not a licensed medical professional take this man away from the injured

-snowwraithsoundeffect.jpg

-gothi the mvp, look at that crazy old woman beat up a fucking dragon with her stick

-that one snotlout image that im always obsessing over happened!!!827.727,

Ep 3

-into the great beyond!

-deathsong song is /so/ pretty

-toothless fucking yanking hiccup only for hiccups leg to fall off will forever be hilarious

-deathsong continues to be the prettiest rtte dragon, butterfly lookin ass

-hookie and fangster???? So fuckin cute, snotlout

-the deathsongs hissing oh my gods it is so lovely

-thunderdrum purrs!!!!!

-hookfang holding snotlout, looking like an exasperated parent

-lowky hate how hiccup thinks he has the right to fuck things up like this, yeah the deathsong sucks for the smaller dragons but it needs to eat, he cant just- get rid of the ones he doesnt like???

-Hookfang smiliesss!!!

Ep 4

-Snotlout hearing ‘need weapons’, immediately doing that evil little grin of his, and fucking /diving/ for hiccups leg

-the the two of them fighting over said leg, only to be saved by astrid from the boars

-what colour r the twins eyes??? Rlly light brown????

-tuff being a theater kid & ruff being done with him

-no bc ruff eyes are blue /what colour r tuffnutts eyes???/

-grey?????

They sorta look grey

-theyre rlly pretty either way but like.. What colour,........

-toothless looking judgemental

-ok the eyes are like- very very light blue with brown chunks near the top

-tuff seems- genuinely really freaked out and no-one believes him and i lowkey feel bad

-astrid is such a fucking edgelord i love her

-look at these nerds with their arts and crafts

-ARE THE EYES GREEN????

Ep 5

-oh god its the thor bonecrusher episode

-no, tuffnutt i have not seen a honey-covered yak on an anthill

-oh gods why

-i love the twins just- randomly being /hella/ intelligent out of nowhere

-“she wants to paralyze you”

“aahh???”

“YES!!!!”

“check that, hypnotize, sorry, she wants to hypnotize you”

“ughhhh, come on”

-snotlout you are a treat

-snotlout is actually fucking staring in awe hes so fucking gay for fake-fishlegs

-I GUESS I CAN DEAL WITH ‘THORS’ BULLSHIT IN RETURN FOR SNOTLOUTS FUCKING FANBOYING HES SO CUTE!! LOOK AT HIM BOUNCING AROUND?!!??

-SIMPLE BLACKSMITH?? DONT DO GOBBER LIKE THAT??

-“was stoics axe” BITCH IF YOU DONT STF-

-snotlout he dissed ur dragon hes a dick i could treat u better baby give me a chanceeeeeee

-“what was snotlout thinking??”

“he wasn’t! he’s in lovee, he’d do anything for his big hunk of bone-crushing loovvveeee” (mockingly)

-gods i love astrid

-i-!??

-HOOKFANG TO THE RESCUE!!!!! :happy:

-poor stoic, rip his axe

-gobber, /why/

-snotlouts one-sided breakup, LMFAO, poor baby

#httyd #httyd rtte #how to train your dragon #race to the edge #how to train your dragon; race to the edge #rtte #snotlout #snotlout jorgenson #so many tags #i spent a lot of time on this #i rly want it to be seen aidueud #i may or may not continue this #it depends #yippinabout

[my-lunaberg]

Okay, this confrontation/chase has been going on for too long, Im not sure if Im capable of actual analysis rn so Im just jotting all my thoughts so far down bullet point style

I find it very telling that Dream just got out of prison, where he was almost completely isolated and rarely visited and starved and also actively tortured for about half of his almost year-long time there, and instead of going to his base or finding shelter or resting or anything like that, he seemingly went straight to Logstedshire after getting the gear from Punz. Idk if hes there bc he suspected that Tommy would try and get the axe of peace or bc he wanted to remisce but either way, very interesting

Im too lazy to dig up my old posts where I try to predict the effects that the prison will have on Dreams psyche and I dont really remember what I even said, but I do know that I said the prison would make him a lot more unhinged so I'll take that as a win for me

That being said, Im not entirely satisfied with the way Dream is acting so unaffected by like, the physical torture especially. Yeah sure, it does seem like being trapped in jail for a while was part of Dreams game plan all along somehow, but I dont think Quackitys torture was, judging by how surprised he seemed when he showed up. And even if it was, while I do think of Dream as a pretty deluded character, no amount of delusion is gonna make the Literal Fucking Torture hes endured for months on end not feel like Literal Fucking Torture

When the confrontation started my first thought was "oh, his manipulation tactics are a lot sloppier and a lot more obvious, I feel like Tommy wouldnt fall for that even if he didnt already know that Dream was bad news" but then I thought again and I realized that hes talking in a very similar way to when Tommys exile started, where he just kinda says stuff to try and bring him down because hes so confident in his manipulation tactics that he thinks he can just make Tommy forget all about how he compared him to an annoying bug right before he started saying he was his friend. Now, he got progressively more unhinged over the course of the confrontation, so his attempts at manipulation land even worse but still

Basically, I think hes trying to do exactly what he did at the start of exile which is to say, break him down and make him "his" in some weird way, only that with the exile the goal was to get him on his side and become Dreams protegee of sorts, while this time its mostly just to beat him down and break him like a toy

Idk Ive made a lot of analyses of Dream and one the things i keep coming back to is the fact that he wants absolute control over everything everyone and he cannot handle the loss of that control, but deep down he still desires Challenge and Tommy gave him that. His relationship with Tommy is fascinating because its essentially Dream attempting to reconcile those two fundamentally uncompatible parts of his psyche. However, I dont think he wants Challenge anymore. Even if the stay at the prison was planned, it nevertheless showed him what its like to experience loss of control, to truly eperience being challenged and its clear to me that he doesnt want it anymore and that he just wants to break Tommy down until he listens

This is another complaint that sorta ties into Dream being so unaffected by the torture and a suggestion to 'fix' it. I realize that theyre working with Minecraft mechanics and everything so it doesnt matter that much, but Dream should definitely be having issues with food after being starved and only given raw potatoes for that long and I also dont think he should be able to sprint. I feel like they couldve done something really neat and have Dream be like "no Im not hungry" when Punz gives him those baked potatoes and then later when hes chasing Tommy around maybe he starts out sprinting but after a short while hes just kinda jumping around and you realize that hes starving but hes szill not eating and just keeps following Tommy with his pearls and maybe a trident if he has one rn. Idk just something that couldve been cool

I realize that Tommy is obviously there too and I feel like I shouldve written more about him but honestly, I dont have any thoughts abt him rn, maybe I'll have some later down the line. Idk man, I like c!Tommy a lot but hes not really a character that I like to write analysis posts about (i love reading others analyses though!! I think hes interesting, I just dont have a lot of interesting thoughts about him beyond that sry), while c!Dream very much is lol. I see a lot of myself in and thats definitely part of the reason I enjoy him so much and why I symphatize with him so strongly and why analysing him is so fascinating, its kinda cathartic for me. I know a lot of people in the fandom tend to really dehumanize him, both bc he doesnt have his own POV which makes it easier and bc they seemingly just dehumanize any Bad People in fiction, but its honestly a struggle for me to try and do that too, simply because I am human and I know hes human because we have done similar things for similar reasons (only that hes obviously worse bc its fiction and things get exgerated yknow)

Idk thats about it for now, I just spent like two hours writing this when I probably shouldve just kept watching the video lol

#livebloggin dsmp #dream smp #c!dream #c!tommy

[demon-that-slayed]

alright hello I'm already gonna warn you, this'll be long. btw, thank you sm for doing it, I'm really hyped! you're gonna do amazing, I know that, so do ti as you wish, full creative freedom. (btw, I'm gonna copypaste this because I've already written it once, hopefully that's alright with you)

okay! so. starting with me ig. i dont even know how to begin.

im listening to music atm. i always do - people that dont always listen to some music are kinda psychopaths if you ask me. like, if im not listening to music, i'll be listening to an audiobook or a podcast or be watching some video or netflix. i cant not do anything. i say i love reading, but the last time i read a book has been weeks ago. i just have reading slumps sometimes. not saying that i dont read regularly - god, no. i'll find enough fanfics and oneshots and shit to count for a book. but most of the time i can spare, i try to write. and at the moment, im really doing good! i write drabbles almost daily, and i try to finish a chapter for my actual wip bi-weekly. which... i gotta admit doesnt work all the time but im trying! im just a shit ton of a procrastinator. like, sometimes it physically hurts telling myself i need to do something but not being able to get up and actually do it. i kinda zone out a lot too when im forced to sit through something boring or just when i cant listen to music/watch something at the same time. i fidget a lot, too. so basically as you can see im always doing something, always have something going on inside my head, am quite loud. like, literally, im the loudest person i know, except for maybe my dad, and im really expressive. could be italian with how much i gesture.

for my hobbies, well, ive told you about some of them so far. im not really... sporty. in the slightest. and i dont like sports either. but the one thing i do indeed like is badminton, which i do somewhat regularly. i think i'd suck at quidditch, but, unlike football, i do believe i'd be interested in watching. also i just really want to fly a broom - like, if i could pick any animal to be, i'd be a bird. always would have said so in the past too. maybe a cat, just because i really love them, and am planning to get one as soon as i get my own apartment. i'll take one from the shelter, i think, and if i could pick it'd be a black one so i can call it toothless. i do have a dog right now tho, or rather my family does. i love her, but she's not as cuddly as i'd like her to be, which, i mean, is fine im trying my best not to step over her boundaries, but then again my love language most certainly is physical touch, so my favourite moments with her are when she just allows me to cuddle her in front of the fireplace. its kind of a tradition at this point when theres fire in there. what else is there to say?

ive said quite much already but i feel like im still missing some.

i guess im really insecure of some things. dont get me wrong, i know my strengths, and i fucking love correcting people, my ego is over the moon sometimes. im stubborn and i hate being wrong and i know that im obnoxious when i discuss, just because i cannot stop discussing if theres still something to discuss. but im trying to better, really. some of it at least. still, i am in fact really insecure it seems. i worry so much what people might think of me - i cant present anything to anyone other than my closest family or friends because my voice will start to shake and i will start to sound like im gonna cry. on the topic of that, i cry so so easily. its horrible, really. plus, i have huge anxiety and i get panic attacks regularly, which kinda fucks with my sleeping schedule because they always happen when i go to bed.

okay, but enough with the depressive shit, im not done talking about myself yet. if you let me talk about myself i can and i will write paragraphs. really, dont worry putting all of this into your response. just think of it as me being super happy youre doing this because, honestly, genuinely, i am.

but getting on with it. when im excited, im kinda... like a child, in a way. like i let out unnecessarily high pitched screams and i cant stop laughing when ive started, and i clap my hand in front of my mouth or shake my arms out. im just really, really emotional tbh.

my favourite feeling is melancholy though. its... beautiful, in a very terrifying way. its the kind of feeling you get when you think about your childhood, or old friends, or family members you dont see anymore. its a feeling but its so much more and - i dont know. i dont know how it couldnt be my favourite.

i love sunrises and sunsets and i love the sun in general. im a summer person, partly because im always really cold (my circulation in my hands and my feet is fucked lmao, plus my blood ran low on iron for a while) but like, its summer, i dont get how it cant be people's favourite. plus, my birthday is in june, and my birthday is my favourite holiday. with christmas following.

okay i match you with…

REMUSSS

okay so be warned this is a very bad description but i think you guys would be great with eachother like these are very random things sos I’ll make a list :

(these are like headcanons if that’s fine)

okay so at night when you can’t sleep, he’ll just like cuddle you and make sure you’re fine, and you would make him happy just being there I guess, yk

anyways you two would like bond on liking music and what books you like and you always would have like mini arguments which end in him sarcastically admitting youre right which makes you feel good even if it’s not bc atleast you are right about this song being better or this character being more beil. than the other.

in summer and winter you always dragged him out for the sunrise/sunset and like he would jokingly complain sometimes because he would melt in the heat because it was always cold in the dorms and he had his sweater on

in the winter though you would steal lots of his sweaters and wear them piled on top of eachother because you froze in the cold

also when the full moon was near you’d always like be there and make sure he’s okay and you’d be like there for eachother all the time and like

he would sarcastically/jokingly be annoyed at you but actually really enjoy being around you, especially before you guys date.

oh yeah and you have picture albums filled with pictures that you, remus, or someone else takes that fill the albums

anyways, i hope this was good, ive never done this before lmao