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avatar-anna · 7 months

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When You Fall In Love...

so i've been reading icebreaker and it's been putting me in the hockeyrry mood

part one, part two, bonus, bonus

Harry watched from the empty stands as Y/n ran through her routine for the fifth time. Her teammates had gone home, her coach asked Harry if he would lock up on the way out, and now it was just the two of them in the empty rink. There wasn't even any music playing anymore, Y/n was just skating and performing her tricks as if there was.

Every time she did it, it was flawless. Her routine was fast and intense and incredibly difficult, but Y/n performed with ease every time. She landed her tricks like they were nothing, tricks which Harry now knew the names of and could tell the difference between a lutz and an axel. She was incredible, and he was in awe of her every single time.

But even in her perfection, Y/n had yet to smile once.

Harry decided she'd had enough after she finished her fifth run-through, quickly jogging down to the edge of the rink before she could skate out to the middle again. He leaned over the barricade and kissed the top of her head. This close to her, he could see her rosy cheeks and heaving chest, a sign that her routine did wear her out, despite making it look so effortless.

"You were phenomenal as usual, baby," Harry said while he gathered her things.

"I bobbled a landing and my timing was off for a whole four counts," was her reply.

Harry frowned, not pleased by her recent negativity. Any athlete could be critical of their ability, but Y/n seemed uncharacteristically hard on herself lately, and he had no idea why. "Everything okay?" He asked, shouldering her duffle bag as they walked away from the rink.

"I'm fine."

She certainly didn't sound fine, but Harry decided not to push. Not now, anyway. Changing the subject, he said, "I got an email from the recruiter. I should be receiving my contract soon."

Excitement didn't even begin to cover how Harry had been feeling lately. Last week, he'd met with an agent of a minor league hockey team, one that was a feeder to an NHL team. He expressed their interest in Harry moving to the east coast after graduation and join them for spring training. And after giving it some thought, Harry accepted.

He was over the moon, thrilled that years of hard work was finally paying off. He'd made his passion into a career, and had the potential to really make a name for himself. Life couldn't have been better.

But where Harry seemed to be flying high, Y/n seemed stuck. She was happy for him when he told her the news, had gone out to celebrate with him that night. But something felt off between them. Harry couldn't put a name to it, but he just knew.

"That's great," Y/n said with no amount of enthusiasm in her voice. Harry tried not to take it to heart, she was clearly in a mood from her practice. She was under a lot of pressure too, he reminded himself, and sometimes had a knack for not knowing how to express herself with words.

"Is there something on your mind? You've been quiet recently," he said, hoping he wasn't overstepping her delicate boundary.

Y/n shook her head as she approached her car, sliding into the driver's seat without a word. Harry couldn't help but feel more and more like there was something on her mind, but he let it go again.

Before pulling the car out of the parking lot, Y/n rested her hand over his and leaned in to kiss him. "I'm sorry. I've just got a lot on my mind."

"It's okay. As long as you know you can talk to me about it."

Her throat bobbed, but she nodded, then turned her focus toward the road. Harry filled the silence with rambling. He talked mostly about the NHL, about his contract and where he wanted to live and how everything was happening so fast.

So caught up in trying to break the tension, he didn't notice Y/n's white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel.

*.*

"Styles! What the hell are you doing? Focus up! Let's go!"

Harry rested his hands on his knees, breathing heavily during the brief pause in the game. His eyes flicked up to the stands, searching the crowd for a familiar face, but he didn't see the one he needed the most.

Despite being recruited by a minor league hockey team, Harry was probably having the worst game of his life.

Not one pass connected, he was letting second-rate players get by him, and he'd spent more time in the penalty box than in the actual game. Nothing about this was right, and still all he could do was look for Y/n.

She wasn't there, and even though things had been weird between them recently, he was still surprised. When she wasn't at a competition of her own, Y/n came to every one of Harry's games. It had started out as Harry wanting to impress her, maybe show off a little, and then as time went on and they grew closer and their relationship became more than two people having sex in secret, he wanted her to be there just because it felt good knowing she was watching him play. All his nerves floated away when Y/n was sat in the stands, sometimes in his jersey, cheering him on.

And of course there were times when she couldn't come, but this wasn't one of those times. Y/n had purposely not shown up. He knew they'd fought before the game, but he didn't think she would abandon him just to be petty. They were past that now.

His sole focus should've been on the game he was playing, but instead his mind kept drifting to the fight.

Harry could feel Y/n pulling away from him. He finally felt like he was getting everything he wanted—a spot on a minor league hockey team on the east coast that would eventually lead him to the NHL, graduating with semi-decent grades thanks to Y/n, and of course being with his dream girl. At first, she'd seen him as some douchey athlete that was only good for one thing. He remembered seeing her for the first time their freshman year, performing tricks on the ice that he'd only ever seen on TV, and when he whistled and clapped loudly—perhaps a little obnoxiously—after she'd finished, she'd rolled her eyes at him and told him to fuck off.

It was love at first sight.

Harry had been so careful around Y/n. He played by her rules and followed her lead, trying not to let the comments about them not dating get to him too much. He liked their initial dynamic, finding it funny when he got under her skin because she made it so easy. It became a kind of game, this push and pull that was fun and exciting and eventually led to their arrangement.

He knew that she cared about him on some level, he just needed to bide his time and show her he wasn't who she thought he was. Not entirely, anyway. And when she finally did, and they became more than just people who screwed around, everything was perfect.

They'd been through so much together. Y/n pushed Harry to be better, and he worked with her to master new tricks and nail her routine. There wasn't anyone else who understood his level of commitment to hockey, but she did, and that just made him love her more.

So when he got the call offering him a spot on the minor league team, Y/n was the first person Harry told. She'd been happy for him, and he was over the moon, his mind already making a million plans—where they'd live, her coming to his games, him helping her find a new rink to train at. It felt like the doors to a new and exciting world had opened for them, but she then she started pulling back, and Harry practically watched as that door slammed shut.

Harry pushed himself to focus back on the game, on the hockey stick in his hand and the ice beneath his skates. He felt like it took more effort than it should've to get his head back in the game, but his team managed to pull out a win, and he managed not to get benched before it happened. That didn't stop his coach from ripping him a new one in the locker room, but Harry sat there and took it, shaking his head and promising his piss poor performance would never happen again.

Exhausted both physically and mentally, he trudged out of the locker room and toward the parking lot, debating whether to take the bus home or call an Uber. Even in his senior year, he still didn't have a car, but Y/n was usually there to give him a ride home. To their home. Moving in together for their last year of school seemed like a no-brainer, and it had been amazing so far, though the last week had been kind of a disaster. Harry could feel the tension between them growing, but every time he asked Y/n about it, she'd say she was fine even though they both knew everything was not fine, and the cycle continued. He wanted to be excited, he wanted to celebrate the success he'd managed to create for himself, but he felt rather deflated instead.

To Harry's surprise, Y/n was waiting for him in the parking lot. He didn't hesitate putting his gear in the trunk and coming around to sit in the passenger seat. Y/n leaned in to kiss him immediately holding onto the sides of his face fervently.

"I'm sorry," she breathed. "I'm sorry for not being here tonight and I'm sorry for acting strange, and I'm sorry for—"

"Y/n, what's going on with you?" Harry couldn't help but ask.

"Can we wait until we get home to talk?" She asked. I want to be able to talk to you properly, and I can't if I'm driving.

When Harry nodded, Y/n must've deemed it enough. She peeled away from the rink, silent tension filling the air between once again. It had been following them around all week.

That ended tonight, though. He didn't care how much Y/n hated confrontation or hard conversations. They couldn't move forward if they didn't move past this roadblock first. Harry loved Y/n more than he ever thought possible, and stubborn as she was, he knew she loved him just as much. He would get to the bottom of this, no matter how hard she tried to fight him on the way down.

*.*

"Y/n, you know I would be ecstatic if you'd told me you qualified for the Olympics. This is a huge step in my career! Why can't you be happy for me?"

"I am! God, Harry, I am."

"Then why are you pulling away from me? I feel like I can't be excited about this around you when you're the one person who should understand how this feels."

"I can't do this. I can't have this argument with you," you said, trying to step away from him.

Harry was quick to grab your hands in his, keeping you from walking away. "What aren't you telling me? Do you want to break up?"

"No!

"Do you not love me anymore? What? What is it, Y/n?"

"God, I didn't—I didn't ask for this," you cried, feeling like a damn had burst inside you. It was out now, and now you had to see it through to the end. "I didn't plan on falling in love with you. I wasn't prepared to love you this much. You're the one who wanted to take things further, and now you're—"

You're leaving me, you couldn't bring yourself to say. You really were happy for him. All of his dreams were coming true, and he had an ambition that matched yours, which made you love him more. And now that ambition was taking him far away from you, and you weren't handling it as well as you thought you would.

"Y/n—"

"I'm happy for you, H, I'm so happy for you that I could burst. And maybe even a little jealous," you joked, though there was some truth to what you said. "But I guess I just...I guess I didn't expect to love you this much. And I don't—I don't know what to do because you're going soon and I'm..."

You had no clue, and that alone was terrifying.

At the start of all this, you never imagined falling in love with Harry. He drove you absolutely insane, and despite your physical attraction to him, you kept your distance. But he kept doing these things that made you like him, and eventually care about him, and finally made you fall in love with him. It just wasn't something you saw coming. Love was definitely not on the brain when you met Harry.

Because you knew this moment was inevitable. The moment when one of you would be given an opportunity you couldn't refuse and would pull you away from each other. Once upon a time, you thought you would be given your dream job of a lifetime—competitive skating and hopefully the Olympics—but somewhere down the line, skating stopped bringing you joy, only pressure and anxiety. And now Harry had his dream job on the other side of the country, and you were left to flounder and wonder how you would survive waking up without him next to you.

"You're making it seem like it's a bad thing that you're in love with me," Harry said quietly, but the low tone of his voice didn't hide anything. You knew he was getting upset. After all the avoidance the last week—on your part—yours and his emotions were coming to a head.

"It's not! It's just that you're leaving!" you said, resisting the urge to run a frustrated hand through your hair. "And all week you've talked about how excited to get out of here and leave this all behind and start a new chapter in your life. I mean, would it kill you to act like you're a little torn up about leaving?"

It was so selfish, and you knew it was. It was why you'd been avoiding Harry, this conversation. Harry had every right to be proud and ecstatic for leaving to play in the professional league. He worked so hard, pushed himself farther than anyone you'd ever met, except for maybe you. Your pain was clouding your good sense, and now you'd shown just how horrible you could really be.

You couldn't look him in the eye after saying what you did. Even if it was how you felt, you still felt ashamed for raining on Harry's parade. "Y/n—" he tried to say when you hastily wiped a tear from your eye.

"I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry," you said, getting up from the couch and scurrying off to your bedroom.

Flopping on the bed, you pulled the covers over you, trying to hide from everything happening around you. It was too much. Your senior year was supposed to be fun and full of unforgettable memories, not arguments and heartache.

You weren't sure how much time had passed before the door opened and Harry slipped inside. He slid into bed next to you, and you didn't fight it when he rested his face in the crook of your neck. Because despite everything you were feeling, this was all you really needed.

"I'm not leaving you behind," he murmured gently. "You mean too much to me."

You sniffled, and Harry pulled you closer to his chest. "You're going to be thousands of miles away."

"Says who?" he said, kissing your cheek. "Who says you aren't coming with me?"

"And do what?" you huffed, even though the thought slightly lifted your spirits. "Be one of your...puck whatevers and follow you around like a puppy? I need a life of my own too."

You were being stubborn and argumentative and you both knew it. There was some relief in knowing Harry wanted you with him, but you also didn't want to just move because Harry was. You needed purpose, you needed to feel like your life had some sort of direction in it. But it was unfair to put all of that on Harry, and you didn't know how to express how you felt without sounding insane, so instead you said nothing, and that obviously went over brilliantly.

Harry chuckled. "See, because you just said how in love you are with me, I can tell that you're frosty attitude is just an act. Now turn over and look at me."

You reluctantly turned over, brow furrowed exaggeratedly because you couldn't cross your arms over your chest. It used to infuriate you how easily Harry could get under your skin because he knew you so well, that he knew just what to do or say to pull you out of a bad mood. In this moment, you were thankful. He could see past all the harsh words and see to the root of the problem. You'd said some things that were perhaps out of order, but Harry understood. Despite everything, he understood.

"You've worked just as hard as me, Y/n. I want to be there for you the way you've been for me. You can achieve your goals too."

"I just...I don't know if I want to achieve them anymore," you said quietly.

It was the first time you'd said it out loud. Since you'd learned to skate, there had only been one goal: the Olympics. Getting there wasn't just a matter of training, it was about devoting your life to your craft, it was barely having a life outside of training and competitions and giving all your time to winning. And after spending nearly your entire life doing it, you felt yourself slowly burning out. You'd go through your routines flawlessly, but your heart wasn't in it. All you could think about was the future—the next competition, the next training session, the next qualifier. It took seeing Harry so happy about being drafted to the minor leagues to realize the fire had gone out in you. Thinking of Olympic qualifiers and training and affording coaches and costumes and picking the right music only filled you with dread when you should've felt joy.

"Oh."

"But I don't know who I am if I don't have skating."

"You don't have to compete to skate, you know," Harry said. He rested his hand against your cheek, rubbing his thumb along your temple lightly. "You can c—"

"Oh God, don't say coach," you groaned. "It's perfect. You'll be a hockey superstar and I'll be the washed-up figure skater who couldn't handle the pressure of being an athlete and wound up coaching instead."

"I know you're being like this because you're scared, and that's okay," he said. "But I'll help you find a new dream, Y/n. I promise."

You had to blink away tears because your heart couldn't take how much he cared about you. "Even when I've been a complete bitch?"

"You haven't been. I'm sorry if you felt like I was leaving you behind. I guess in my mind we would always be together, no matter where we ended up."

"God I hate how much I love you sometimes," you grumbled while flinging yourself on top of Harry and holding him tight. "It's too much, you're too much, and I can't stand it—"

"There's a compliment in there somewhere, right?" Harry asked, but you could hear the grin in his voice.

Sitting up, you perched yourself on him, your legs straddling his waist. Dipping down, you made sure your noses were brushing, but you didn't close the distance. Not yet. Your heart was racing simply because Harry had been so kind to you, because he knew you so well and said exactly what you needed to hear. It felt ridiculous to know that there was a time when he pissed you off so much you saw red, that his teasing remarks and cocky grin grated on your nerves. Now you didn't want to imagine a life without him.

"I'm sorry for saying all of those things," you murmured. "I really am proud of you. No one deserves this more than you do."

Harry's hand reached up and threaded through your hair, his fingers gentle as they passed over your scalp. "I know you are. And I mean it, Y/n. I'll help you. I know you love to skate, we just have to find a way to channel that into something else. If not coaching, maybe performing?"

"What? Like Disney on Ice?" you asked skeptically, your nose wrinkling at the thought.

Harry shrugged as his hand dipped beneath your shirt to stroke your back. "You'd be a cute princess."

"With my luck, they'd make me a tree."

"Then you'd be the cutest tree there ever was."

Shaking your head, you nudged your nose against his again. "Can we hit pause on talking about the future? I just want to be with you here. Right now."

"Course," Harry said, one corner of his mouth turning up into a crooked grin. "And then maybe we can circle back to you being my puck whatever."

"Shut up."

"Make me!"

And that was something you knew how to do better than your skating routine.

#harry styles #hockey player!harry styles #ice skater!y/n #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #hockeyrry

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jazminrhode1 · 8 months

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Hi Jaz!! I was wonder if you could write something where the reader and triplets and nate had been friends maybe they have another friend as well that's a girl and the three become super close when the triplets move and they go some time without speaking? And then the reader reunites with the triplets and realises that she was angry at them for no real reason and they become close again? Idk if that makes sense but, you can really write whatever! I love your writing!!

I've Really Missed You Sturniolo Triplets x Reader One Shot

Summary: Just a story about the seasons of friendship.

Words: 1206 words

The six of you had always been friends since you met on the play mat at daycare. Since the triplets left for LA you, Nate, and Lexi had become inseparable.

You had never pictured yourself leaving the east coast. When the triplets spoke about their dream of moving to LA and Nate spoke of playing sport at some Ivy League school interstate, you pictured yourself staying right here in Boston. When you started looking at colleges, your parents took you to visit their alma mater’s but, those schools never appealed to you. You wanted to stay close to your parents, you wanted to be there to see your little brothers grow up and you wanted to enjoy time with your grandparents before age took it’s toll.

Turns out, after applying to almost every half-decent school in the country, Nate and Lexi decided to stay home in Boston too. You had promised each other on a late-night drive back home from a weekend in New Hampshire that, no matter what, you’d always stay together.

In middle school, you never thought that it’d be just the three of you after graduation. The thought of not having the triplets around seemed unimaginable when you were 12 years old but, time proved you wrong in the end.

When they first left, it felt a lot like a breakup. You, Nate, and Lexi drove around to all the places you’d hang out like lost puppies looking for a home. You realized that you would never be completely at home again because three pieces of your heart would always be somewhere else.

When you started college, you found yourself leaving them out of the stories you told of growing up. It hurt too much to talk about them in past tense.

In that first year of college, you and Lexi shared a dorm. It was like one long sleepover that your parents would have never allowed. You stayed up every night talking about cute boys in your classes and cute outfits that girls wore that you swore you could never pull off. Nate’s roommate drove him up the walls and he ended up spending most nights sleeping on the floor between you both.

It felt strangely like betrayal making new memories and new friends without the triplets. Like getting a new puppy after your childhood dog passed away.

On the weekends, you three would pack up the car and drive to the beach or the mountains. You started taking your friends from interstate to all of the places you went when you were young. You showed them your high school, your childhood homes and the parking lot you’d sneak out to when you were teenagers.

You took them to the Taco Bell where you had your first job and the ice rink where Nate used to play ice hockey. You snuck them into the theatre where you had your 10th birthday party and took them to your parent's old shack at the Cod. In one year, you had replaced old memories with new ones. Like recording over an old mixtape that an ex-flame left in your car.

As Christmas came around and you packed up your things to go home, Nate mentioned that the triplets had come back to Boston. As you made the short drive from campus back to your old neighborhood, you contemplated if you’d ever go to see them. You hadn’t spoken for months and you didn’t know if things were better left alone.

Sometimes you argued with them in your head and made them feel guilty for leaving you behind. Other times you pictured that you all moved to LA and then blamed them for you missing home. You couldn’t think a single scenario where they got to do what they had always dreamed of and you were ok with it. Maybe that meant that everything happened in the exact way that it should have.

As hard as it was to reconcile, maybe you loved and missed them in equal measure. Maybe it wasn’t the distance or lack of communication pulling you apart that really mattered but, it was the love that would inevitably bring you back together.

As Nate pulled into your driveway before you jumped out to get your things, you asked, “Do y’all want to stay the night?” Nate promised he’d go home and Lexi wanted to see her Dad before he left.

As you truged through the snow up to your front door, Nate made sure you were safe inside before he drove away.

The next morning, you got up early and headed out for a run. That was the only way you knew how to clear your head. It was only a 20-minute jog around the lake once you got to the park and as your music began to blare in your headphones, you escaped into your own little world.

You remembered MaryLou bringing you down to the lake when you were younger so you could feed the ducks. One time, Matt fell in and when she turned back around all she saw was his little hand sticking out of the water.

Two years after that Chris was learning to ride a bike. He was racing down the hill one afternoon and crashed into a pine tree. He had grazes on the side his face for weeks but, he thought it made him look tough.

You and Nick would always trail behind the group, lost in your own little world. You’d dream of fairies dancing in flowerbeds and knights in shining armor that would race to save you from the monsters hidden in the shadows of the willow tree. Times were a lot simpler then.

As you stopped by the gate on the east side lawn, you knelt down to tie your shoe. Your heart stopped when a small dog ran over to you.

“Trevor! Leave that girl alone,” Nick called as his footsteps grew louder.

Before you could get up and continue on your jog, Nick knelt down before you to pick Trevor up. Your eyes locked as you stood at the same time. “Y/n?” he asked in disbelief.

Matt and Chris appeared behind him, the same look on their faces. Matt was first to pull you into a hug, followed by his brothers.

“I didn’t know you were back,” you lied. “Nate didn’t tell you?” Chris asked.

You ignored him and said, “How are you?”

“We have so much to catch up on,” Matt replied.

You felt guilty that for the past 2 years, you left their messages unread and watched the phone ring as they tried to call. The truth was that you missed them. As you all grew older and life took you in different directions, time passed by like a hand waving from a train that you wanted to be on. You didn't want to miss what was happening in their lives anymore. You didn't want them to miss what was happening in yours.

As walked down your street with Trevor pulling at the lead, Nick turned to you and said "I've really missed you, y/n."

You linked an arm through his and rested your head on his shoulder, "I've really missed you, too."

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hugheses · 28 days

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9-13-19: From No. 1(s) to another

Jack Hughes has a large support group, which extends outward from his parents, brothers, a large family with several members based on the East Coast and plenty of mentors in the hockey community who are connected to him through his father or his own journey. His general manager was once his father’s agent. His coach spent six years at the unique hockey factory from which he just came. He spent a few weeks playing on the same team as the veteran goaltender in Slovakia at the world championships, and his coach was also on the staff there. There’s also this interesting tidbit about the roster — he has two teammates who were also the No. 1 pick in an NHL Draft. Great players can talk about their experiences and veterans have seen it all, but this specific part of Hughes’ experience would be hard for all but a small fraternity of players to relate to. Taylor Hall and Nico Hischier have been through an NHL season as the most recent No. 1 pick, the most intriguing 18-year-old in the league. Hischier did so with the Devils two years ago. “I actually just saw him the first time (Thursday) to be honest, but I’ll try to do my best to help him out wherever he needs me,” Hischier said. “I want to do exactly the same thing that the other guys did to me. I thought I felt really welcome in that team. Everyone was treating me well but was treating me like a normal player as well so I’m done trying to do all that as well.” Some of Hall’s experiences as a rookie with the Edmonton Oilers might be similar to what Hughes will face this season. Hughes is a much-hyped American prospect, but he spent much of his childhood living in Toronto. The Canadian media will likely treat him as a son of Toronto and an honorary citizen, so some of the attention could be similar to what Hall experienced as a No. 1 pick north of the border. “I think if I look back to my rookie season as an 18-year-old, and all the hype and all the talk, I would say, ‘Try to enjoy it as much as you can,’” Hall said. “Expect a little bit of failure, expect to come out of some games just with your tail between your legs a little bit and the season is not going to go perfect so there’s going to be some ups and downs. You’re never as good as you think, you’re never as bad. From there, I think it’s just growing as a player, as a leader, as a person and knowing that eventually when you’re 20, 21, 22 you’re going to be one of the faces of the franchise and how are you going to be when you’re that.”

#jack hughes #nico hischier #taylor hall #queue #articles

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moregraceful · 2 months

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just looked up zack gelof hm compelling lol

god i hope so bad this link works, it works on my laptop come thru tumblr: please check out one of the greatest minds of our generation @pindergarten and her zack gelof posts. he is SO compelling!!!

also ik you were looking for a team to love and the oakland a's are hella compelling and having AMAZING narratives, and m's blog is the only thing that brings me joy on this wretched soggy planet...but you WILL suffer through the heat death of universe being a fan of a) bay area sports, b) being a fan of the a's specifically. not bc the a's are in strugglesville (tho they are), but because you will have to see a million ignorant posts per season by people who Don't Get It and are either making a cheap joke at the expensive of a grieving fanbase, or who have never known real sports pain so they'll never get right in their hearts. (the a's hockey equivalent: the yotes. deeply underrated and mocked through the league but if you pull back one layer of peat moss, you see a thriving ecosystem of prospects and young players.) however you are a habs fan so perhaps you are primed for this experience.

also, unrelated to zack gelof: i can't really recommend being a fan of my san francisco giants either (the a's brothers across the bay) bc while the a's suffer untold levels of mismanagement, the giants are just. on fire. constantly. clown franchise run by clowns. also less compelling narratives imho except for the venezuelans who are maybe in love and raising a beautiful baby boy prospect together. but again you are a habs fan so maybe you understand this feeling too 😭 actually that might be the giants hockey equivalent: the habs. used to be amazing, now struggling to get back to "good" after several catastrophic org and manager decisions and losing our team dads.

personally i have decided to be a fan of the orioles this year as my east coast side piece bc their young players are cooking some INSANE narratives, also you really gotta cheer for a team that was so bad for years and is coming out of it with new ownership and a bright future. and i went to school in baltimore and their ballpark camden yards whips ass

anyway none of that was related zack gelof. please look at m's blog for zack gelof posts. it is an amazing blog. also read spit it out on three it's so good

#crosukis #cage replies #this all just reminded me to go look at the sf chronicle and see how much a subscription costs. the athletic is pissing me off #the mercury news is also pissing me off but i think that's just bc i'm about to start very real beef with the sharks beat reporter lol #anyway. m pindergarten: great person. great blog. scholarly mind. greatest scholar of the oakland a's on tumblr.

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imaginedreamwrite · 1 year

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Higher Love: Part 7

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

The chill of the ice settled in your lungs, the sharp breath of air as you inhaled was as welcoming as it was exhilarating. The moment your skates touched the ice you felt as if you were at home, even if it had just been days since you’d seen the ice, you were where you belonged.

The weekend had come and gone, and the promise Ari made and the heat that was pulsating between you during the pivotal moment where you were joined in the basest and most intense way, had left your entire body feeling as if it was buzzing.

The formal paperwork had been signed, Ari said he was going to file it with the school and the two of you would and could, have your relationship recognized with the school board and the dean. There would be protections put in place for yourself and Ari, the two of you would be held to certain standards, and of course, you had to drop his class.

The two of you would have to avoid as many public displays of affection as you could while you were on school grounds and if the relationship had come to an end, there would be extended support for you as an omega.

It was the perfect end to the stay you had at his place, the acknowledgement of your relationship and the start of courting.

It was the perfect mood booster to skate to, and you’d all but embraced the intensity of the feelings as you warmed up on the ice. You’d secured your headphones beneath your black toque and loaded your favourite playlist onto your phone to fuel your practice time. You were supposed to finalize the steps of your routine for the upcoming competition with the skating club, and your coach had put emphasized pressure on you to soften your landings.

You had thought they were fine, your landings, but your coach had given you a different opinion. Just as he had brought up the topic of your newest weigh-in. He hadn’t been subtle with his disappointment, he hadn’t softened any potential blow when he told you that you needed to drop a few pounds or more in his words and had recommended daily workouts on top of any practices you’d been doing.

He had aimed most of his ire at you and another skater on the team, the two of you certainly skilled technically and theatrically on the ice however coach Tucker hadn’t let your skills as skaters overshadow his idea that you needed to work harder to fit his perceived image of a skater. He had been pushing the two of you for weeks to watch how often and how much you had eaten. It was a secret you hadn’t told anyone.

The comments stung deep, and it took all you had not to cry in front of the alpha who seemed to get a kick out of making omegas, like you, degrade themselves mentally. You wondered if he got some kind of sick pleasure from making omegas feel like shit, or having them bend over backwards to please the cocky, and young, coach.

“I can take you to the big fucking leagues, I’m the best damn coach on the east coast. You’d be smart to listen to me.” His voice had cut through your music choice, his egregious comment making you falter and slip onto the ice.

You caught yourself during one of your upright spins, just as you were starting to shift into another position. You had managed to stop yourself from smashing your head or face on the ice, though your ass would be sore from the fall.

“You’re not going to be good enough if you don’t break yourself.” His voice hit again, and you had pushed yourself to stand, skating a few feet in order to set up the jump that was pivotal to your routine.

As you skated toward the centre of the ice, you came to a stop when the squeak of the door cut through the music playing in your headphones. You had turned your head, an involuntary groan falling from your mouth when two of the more robust alphas and hockey players had come to hang out by the boards of the ice.

You lifted your hands and yanked your headphones out of your ears tucking them into the left breast pocket of your light jacket. You closed the zipper and skated toward them, coming to a sharp stop to send flakes of ice and snow toward Lee and Storm.

“Congratulations, Ice Princess.” Johnny had greet you with a sing-songy tone to his voice that matched the lightness in his eyes, and the smirk that tugged at his lips.

He had come to the edge of the boards wearing one of the teams hoodies and a matching hat that was worn backwards and tipped down. His sleek blonde hair was growing longer and had begun to curl around his ears which had drawn your attention to the sight of a hickey peeking out from the collar of his hoodie.

He was unabashedly standing there with Lee, the two players were still that much taller than you despite you wearing skates, and if it wasn’t the blonde who was snickering like he had a secret, then it was the raven-haired brute.

“What the hell are you talking about?” You rest your hands on the smooth edge of the boards, your narrowed eyes flickering between Lucas Lee and Johnny Storm, suspicions arising when Johnny’s smirk morphed into a full-bore grin.

He was looking at you proudly, amused by whatever secret of yours that they had both known. It was written on their faces, both of them not just Johnny, and you were still just as clueless now as you had been when they had first arrived at the rink. It had only been a few moments before, but every passing second was confusing.

“We were worried about the Ice Princess after her first time playing beer pong, thought you might have needed some help curing your hangover but your cute roommate said you never came home this weekend. Did you enjoy your sleepover with coach Levvy?” Johnny grinned and guffawed with Lee, the two of them and their amusement at your situation was teasing at its core, and you were undecided if you wanted to smack them for it or let it pass.

“Nothing happened.” You settled on the defence, neither willing nor wanting to give Storm more to tease you with. “I was hungover-“

“So you didn’t sleep together?” Lee started, elbowing Johnny.

“And you didn’t fill out whatever bullshit you needed to form an official relationship? You’re already dropped from Lev’s class-“

“How the hell do you know?” The tactic to be defensive had failed, and a sharp hiss had replaced every intent to keep a solid front. “Did Ari tell you?”

“Hardly,” Johnny rolled his eyes and cursed under his breath, “he gave Lee and me an extra two hours of training-“

“You deserve it,” you cocked your hip and leaned against the boards, exhaling in minute relief that was almost immediately squandered by the squeak of the door opening for a second time and your coaches’ raised voice.

“Don’t you have assholes have some other puck bunnies to fuck?” He was unabashed, uninhibited when he snarked at Johnny and Lee, approaching them and then looking at them as if they were dirt beneath his feet.

“This is a closed practice and if you’re looking to get some ass-”

“What the fuck is your problem?” Lucas had growled with a crass intensity that would’ve made anyone feel threatened and intimidated, and yet your coach had barely looked amused.

“You two should probably go…” You muttered quietly, neither wanting a fight nor willing to face the aftermath of your coach’s ire.

“Shouldn’t talk to your skaters that way, asshole.” Johnny had been spurned, and while Lee had started to walk away, he had continued to stand by the boards, almost as if he willed your coach to do something.

“I’ve heard words coming from your mouth, Storm. You hockey players are all the same, screw everything with a heartbeat on and off the ice.” Tension had bubbled, it had built to an entirely new level of toxicity making you fearful of repercussions until Johnny had conceded and began walking away.

The door slammed open and shut.

The heavy thrash of the metal tongue settling into the groove hadn’t eased the tension like you’d hoped, rather it had felt like a fire being fed oxygen and wood to the point where it damn near consumed you.

“My time is precious.” Your coach snarked, cocking a dark eyebrow. “Start skating.”

Ari had been in the middle of grading papers that had come across his desk early, the margins on the paper were marked with notes, corrections and comments for each paper that he had graded. He was halfway through the assigned papers when a chime from his computer had drawn his attention to his campus email.

Ari had minimized one tab for the other, accessing the emails to read the result of the mandatory forms he had filed to give recognition to your courtship.

The approval that came through the email and the recognition that you and Ari could begin a courtship had created a surge of serotonin in the alpha. Despite having a past with other omegas and relationships that could have alluded to a good match, Ari had never really wanted or was willing to commit to mating.

There was always something that had come between him and the great plunge, something internal that prevented him from sinking his teeth into an omega and creating a lifelong bond. He had never felt the draw, the sweeping need to have that inescapable hold, and someone has it over him, on another person.

When he was younger her had focused on his hockey career, when he was done with hockey he focused on being a coach and professor. He was too focused on whipping his players into shape, on taking them to the semi-finals and then playoffs.

It might have been excuses, it might have been nothing more than self-fed lies that he was using as a means to avoid committing to someone he wasn’t drawn to on every level of his being as an alpha.

But now he was sure, now he was ready and he had found the perfect omega.

Ari was so irrevocably drawn to you and everything you were, there wasn’t a single part of him or his hindbrain that hadn’t been focused on you.

He wanted you; he wanted everything about you.

And now it was official.

Relief had swept over him, it settled deep into his bones and delivered the assuredness that he craved. He had never felt so drawn to someone before, he had never felt so sure of anything before.

This was the start of so much for him. Ari was determined to be the best alpha he could have been for you. He wanted to be your shoulder to cry on, he wanted to be the kind of alpha you wanted to turn to without any obligations. He wanted to be your greatest supporter and your strongest ally, doing everything he could to keep you safe and make you happy. That was his goal, that was all he wanted.

Ari re-read the email, his eyes hovered over every single word that had come across his screen and then he sat back against his office chair and raised a hand, shielding his bright grin in his palm. He felt like a young pup again, overeager and excited in an almost uncontrollable manner.

He wished he could have held onto that feeling of pure elation, he wished he could’ve heralded that overwhelming state of glee however it had been overshadowed by the sound of knocking on his door and the slow release of an alphas scent on the other side.

Ari had responded with a soft ‘come in’, and had furrowed his brows when Lucas Lee had crossed the threshold, his ocean blue eyes were darker and tainted with growing aggression.

“Lee-“ Ari spoke his name, his lips pursing as the young alpha had come to stand before his desk and slammed his hands upon the edge.

“That fucker, the coach for the figure skating team, he’s a fucking creep.” Lucas didn’t beat around the bush, he didn’t spare any consideration for Ari’s role as his coach and a professor when he cursed under his breath and nearly kicked the edge of the desk in.

“If I were you, I’d lose my fucking mind if he said that kind of shit to my omega-“

“Tucker?” Ari had already begun standing, he had already been afflicted by the first few draws of protective instincts without having to hear any more from Lee.

“The douche said the whole team fucked anything with a heartbeat, he accused Storm and I of wanting a piece of Princess’ ass-“

Ari had pushed his office chair back with the force of his anger, the quiet bang of the back hitting the wood had echoed in the office though neither Lucas nor Ari had paid it any mind. Lucas was still gritting his teeth, he was still cursing out the coach who hadn’t just fucked with you, his friend, but also the omega he was quickly becoming obsessed with.

Ari had left without notice. He had left Lucas Lee alone to deal with his anger on his own, barely catching the aggressive curses as his office door was slammed.

Ari had left Lucas to deal with your coach and had been once again grateful for the official confirmation of your relationship.

It gave him the right to defend you like he wanted.

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jarojagr · 2 years

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maine mariners pride wallpapers (+ alts)

#hockey #echl #east coast hockey league #maine mariners #pride #my wallpapers #lgbtq #pride wallpapers #hockey wallpaper #hockey wallpapers

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90smisaki · 1 month

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Newfoundland Growlers

#newfoundland #growlers #newfoundland growlers #newfoundland growlers logo #newfoundland growlers fans #east coast hockey league #hockey design for kids #sporty kids #junior hockey #canada hockey #american hockey #classic #essential #sports #hockey

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ladylooch · 9 months

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Letters in Your Last Name - Chapter 21

A/N: I purposefully didn't post because of the alternate AU Kevin I posted here yesterday. But I love this chapter. I am so happy we got the video mentioned here of Kev at the winter classic "But I'm not gonna do that." 🤭 I love him. So much. He's so ridiculous and such a princess.

Word count: 5.1k

Warnings: SMUT 18 + Content, Angsty!!!

The day before Thanksgiving, blood pounds in my veins due to a freight train of anxiety.

I watch on the TV screen as Kevin waits for the signal from the referee for his shootout attempt in New Jersey. The boos rain down from the Devil fans as he sets his gaze on the net minder. To anyone else, he looks determined. To me, he looks empty. The joy of hockey has been taken from him, or truthfully, maybe he gave it away. He’s had a tough, East Coast road trip that has started rumors and whispers around the league that his time in Minnesota is limited. He did nothing to help them after dodging a question about being removed from the power play by insinuating Dean Evason never had a conversation with him about it.

Boy, did the media love that one.

I tried to call Kevin that night and into the next morning, but he ignored me. It is frustrating to me how easy it can be for him to shut down. Meanwhile, every minute he didn’t respond, a thousand more comments popped up on Twitter about the Wild speaking with Vancouver, New Jersey, Boston, and New York about moving Kevin. When I finally spoke to him, he played it off like he was sleeping. Sure, Kev. It’s three days later and Kevin still looks as shut down as he did in the interview after the loss to Florida. I’m hoping a goal will boost his confidence and his demeanor. He’s been playing well- a team focused game- and if he holds on, the goals him and the fans are longing for will come.

Kevin cuts into the ice and begins his pursuit to the net. First, he goes left, then he moves right before he pulls back to the left. From there, he slides the puck level with his hip and snipes the puck into the top right corner. It’s a beautiful goal- full of patience, finesse and the snapping of white twine. I cheer from my spot on the couch and watch eagerly as the camera zooms in on his face. My smile falls instantly. He’s not happy. A tightness forms inside of me and I feel the anxiety gripping at my throat again. Cam Talbot makes the save at the other end. The Wild are leaving Jersey with another win secured.

As the post game coverage begins, I go over the plan I created this morning while staring at the ceiling unable to sleep. The ultimate plan to ease my anxiety and connect with Kevin after a hard week apart. It’s time to shake some things up and what better way than to turn into a sex goddess. Sex is how Kevin and I connect. I feel safe and loved and desired by him when we are engaging in the most intimate, pleasurable act humans can do. Surely, hot sex has solved every relationship rift, right? So, I wandered to the mall earlier today and selected the sexiest outfit I could find. It’s sure to have Kevin hot and needy before he even has a chance to unpack tonight.

My phone buzzes on the couch next to me as I’m drifting off to the latest Becoming Wild episode on Calen Addison. I glance down at Kevin’s text.

Taking off. See you soon, babe.

Time for my work to begin.

I step into the shower and pay extra attention with my razor. I scrub my body with an exfoliating scrub as well so my skin will feel smooth and rich despite the colder temperatures outside. When I’m done, I begin the delicate task of getting myself ready. I do my full face make up and curl my hair into easy, cascading tendrils. My curls are loose and after struggling with the comb and a bit of hair spray, I achieve the volume I want. Nothing super crazy, but just enough to make him wonder if I’ve been rolling around in bed all day, waiting for him.

Next, I head to the closet and grab the new black, lace teddy I got from Victoria’s Secret. There is a built in bra that covers my breasts in black lace before giving way to see through lace weaving in a delicate design down my stomach and between my legs. The sides have cut outs along with black ribbon keeping the ensemble together. The bra has extra padding in the bust, not that I need it, but it helps keep the girls up and in place. I grin widely when I finish, looking at myself in the mirror. Yeah, I’m definitely fuckable.

Now, I just need Kevin.

You would think this is our first time having sex with the butterflies dancing in my stomach. I’m anxious. I don’t know why. He’s going to love it. At least I think he will. I close my eyes and imagine him entering the apartment. The look on his face when he sees me, the way his hands will grab me. He’ll walk us into our bedroom and bury his face into my breasts. Then, he’ll fuck me hard, fast, and deep until we both can’t handle it anymore.

I pour myself a glass of wine and glance at my phone. He should be home any minute now. I suck down the red liquid and savor the feeling of the warmth sliding into my stomach. I want to feel loose. After being so high strung this entire road trip, I need to melt into a different world with Kevin. I’m in the bedroom, sitting patiently on the bed when I hear the door of our apartment open. A knowing smile pulls my lips apart and I wait.

“Babe?” Kevin calls further into the apartment when he notes I’m not in the living area. I stand and walk to the doorway of our bedroom, leaning against it casually with my arms crossed under my plumped breasts.

Kevin steps into my line of vision and I watch with sultry eyes as he tosses his jacket on the couch. He lets out a cute little yawn. When he finds me at the door, his entire body stills. Then his eyes slowly dance from my face down to my toes and back up. With each look, his features get softer and his jaw unclenches in obvious desire. His hands drop to his sides as he begins to walk towards me.

“Welcome home.” I muse.

“This is nice.” He says, reaching for my hips and pulling me tight to him, his hands immediately slip down to my bare ass, gripping it in his strong hands. “Where is this from?” He asks me, his lips an inch from mine. I can already feel the need building within from the way he’s looking at me. The unsteadiness of the last week is melting second by second.

“Does it matter?” I respond after he kisses my lips gently. He lets out a brief laugh and shakes his head.

“No.” He steps forward and begins to move me backwards leisurely. My knees hit the back of our bed and he sits me down. He takes in a full look of me again. Why isn’t he picking me up and throwing me on the bed?

“You are so beautiful.” He tilts my chin up to look at him. His eyes have melted into pools of desire and his eyebrows are pulled together in earnest.

Everything about him is slow and deliberate and gentle. This is not what I was expecting from him. I thought I looked like a sex goddess. He’s touching me like I’m the girl next door. And I don’t like it. In an attempt to change the pace, I reach for his belt and help his pants slip down his hips. His erection juts out and I reach for it, getting my mouth ready to take him in.

“No.” Kevin reaches for my wrist and gives it a gentle squeeze for me to released him. I look up at him with furrowed brows. What guy doesn’t want a blow job? Definitely not my fiancé.

“Kev..” I trail off.

“Not tonight.” He says to me.

He reaches for my thighs and tilts me back until I’m flat on my back. My breasts bounce in the bra and practically hit my chin. Geez, these things are weapons right now. Kevin seems to have liked that though. His hands come to them, giving each a firm squeeze. My nipples pucker in delight and he brushes his thumbs against their form through my bra. Next, he moves south, slowly, almost painfully, kissing down my stomach until he reaches his destination. His tongue licks at me through the teddy before he moves the fabric to the side with his hand. The cool air reaches my clit and I brace myself for the desperate nibbling I know is coming.

Except it doesn't. Again, he’s slow and gentle and, don’t get me wrong, I like it, but it’s not what I was anticipating. As he works his mouth on me, my eyes open and my heart rate begins to increase. The anxiety is suffocating me again. Why isn’t he railing into me? Why is he going so slow and deliberate? Why is this the reaction I’m getting from this expensive outfit? Is it not sexy? Is he not into this? Fuck!

I lick my lips and push out a breath, trying to refocus on what Kevin is doing. I close my eyes again and focus on the feeling of his tongue lapping at me. His finger circles my opening and he slides in and out with gentle ease. Despite my overactive mind, I’m wet and ready for anything he wants to give me. His finger curls and I feel him bump into that spot inside of me that endlessly begs for him. I pull in a sharp breath and then let it out in a low moan. I open my eyes and Kevin is watching me again with those doe like eyes. Damn it, I want the fire eyes. I break eye contact immediately and reach for his hand, halting him.

“Babe, this is nice, but can you fuck me please?” I ask him. Kevin stills and is quiet for a moment in the dark.

“Ah... yeah.” He finally says, but his tone is questioning. He pulls the shirt off his shoulders and then slides the remaining clothes down his legs. When he is naked in front of me, he looks at me and tilts his head. His hand does a sweeping gesture to my outfit. “How would one get this off?” He laughs, his white teeth shining in the dark. “Is there something on the back?”

“No, it’s the arms.” I start to shimmy and tug the straps off. The bra portion falls down. Kevin pauses my movements, hands working on my breasts again. He leans down and sucks a nipple into his mouth. I let out a needy breath, adding an extra, exaggerated cry to turn up the heat in the room. Kevin pulls away after that and slides the teddy the rest of the way off me. “We will be seeing you again soon.” He assures the fabric before tossing it on the floor. I giggle excitedly at that. So he does like it.

Kevin positions himself between my legs and gradually slides into me. When he’s all the way in, he pulls out a few inches then slides all the way back in again. I adjust to him quickly and I wiggle my hips excitedly for him to go. I settle in deeper to the comforter and wait in anticipation for his thrusts to increase.

And yet again, they don’t. Instead, the tempo Kevin sets is somewhere in the lazy, Sunday morning sex category. Not, haven’t seen you in a week, I’m dying for you, sexy outfit category. I resist the urge to sigh in disappointment and instead focus on the feeling of his dick sliding inside of me, willing the tension to build. This goes on for a few more thrusts. Kevin leans down and presses our lips together in a kiss that’s sickeningly sweet. His mouth opens against mine as he breathes heavier, but it lacks the edge of sexiness I crave.

If the outfit isn’t the problem, it must be me. I think back on the minutes and hours he was able to stay disconnected from me this past week. Like he completely forgot about having someone at home waiting for him. During that same time, I felt like our entire world was falling apart. The pressure of tears begin to build behind my eyes and my chest squeezes as my imagination sprints down anxiety road. The heaviness of my engagement ring on my left hand has completely disappeared from my mind.

He isn’t attracted to me. I’m not enough for him. He’s going to leave me.

“Hey, are you here with me?” Kevin mumbles as he pulls up to glide in and out steadily. He’s looking into my face and he must see the trace of absence there.

“Kevin, can you please fuck me.” I encourage him with a desperate edge to my voice. He immediately stops and looks down into my face with an irked expression.

“Babe, I’m making love to you.”

“I don’t want that.” I borderline cry to him.

“What do you want?” He asks me in a low voice. I can see his eyebrows pulling down over his beautiful eyes. He looks hurt.

“I want you to fuck me so hard that I can’t speak.” I snap exasperatedly at him.

“I can’t do that tonight, Sam.” He whispers back to me. I hate the way my name sounds coming through his lips and it makes me wince.

“Then I don’t want this.” I push at his bare chest as tears fill my eyes. He slides out of me instantly and I roll out from under him. I can feel his eyes burning into my back as I walk to the bathroom and close the door.

"Sam?" He calls to me from where he is still kneeling on our bed.

The sobs instantly come. I know Kevin can hear me from the bedroom and I’m trying to be quiet but it’s not working. Soon, I can sense him outside the door. I know he’s at war with himself between wanting to give me space and wanting to hold me.

My plan has utterly back fired. Instead of the uncontrollable desire from Kevin, I got the vanilla side of him. Don’t get me wrong. There is a time and place to enjoy that, but it’s not what I need right now. Not with this horrible insecurity and unknown swirling around our entire life. I need the burning desire. The ache for each other where even though every inch of your body is touching, it’s still not enough. I need that all consuming passion as reassurance of our connection to each other.

The door quietly opens so I hide my tear streaked face in my hands. Kevin covers me with my pink robe from the back of the door before he slides down to the floor. He wraps me into his arms and lifts me into his clothed lap. His touch makes me cry harder. I begin to feel shame seep into the joints in my body. Kevin holds me steadily through each sob.

“What’s going on?” He asks me when my tears have quieted.

“It’s been a really hard week.” I cry to him through a few sniffles. “Your name has been in every fucking trade rumor in the league.”

“Babe, you gotta stay off Twitter.” He sighs, adjusting my hip in his lap to settle us against the wall better.

“Fine. I need to stay off Twitter.” I admit, wiping under my eyes. My finger tips are black from the heavy mascara I put on. Great. I still can’t look into his face from both embarrassment and distress. “But you’ve been so distant this entire road trip. We barely spoke and half the time you wouldn’t even answer my texts. Sometimes, it was like I didn’t even exist to you. At one point, I was convinced you were so quiet because you had been traded!”

“I’m sorry. I was spiraling and trying to stay focused. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Well, it made me feel like shit. And really insecure. And like an outsider in your life.”

“That’s why I needed to fuck you?”

“Yes. I wanted to feel desired. Important to you...” My voice trails off.

“Sam, I was trying to show you that. That is why I was making love to you. I can fuck whomever. I can’t make love like that to just anybody.”

I gain the courage to look into his face. I can see all the emotions of the last week there- the anger, the sadness, the confusion, the stress, the weight of his entire hockey career feeling like it’s in limbo. He looks young and unsure in the bathroom with me. Like he’s incapable of carrying all of this alone. I drop my gaze again because I don’t know what to say. My hair drops across my face and Kevin’s hand comes up, tucking it behind my ear again.

“Don’t hide from me.” He whispers to me. “I need you. Now more than ever.”

“I’m worried… and I’m sad.” I admit.

“Me too.”

“You’re so good at that.” I shake my head at him. “Making me feel like I’m not alone.”

“You’re not. I’m right here.”

We are silent for a moment. I begin to think about the outfit and the need for a physical connection. Those things were driven by a deep insecurity I’ve felt inside of me this whole week: Not pretty enough. Not close enough. Not what he needs. Not enough, period. My face crumples again and a new batch of tears falls from my lashes.

“I just want to be enough for you.” I cry quietly.

“Enough?” He repeats to me incredulously. His mouth is slightly agape and his brown eyes search my green eyes quickly. He brings my face close to his, resting our foreheads together. “This isn’t about you, baby. I'm so sorry I made you feel this way. You’re everything to me. I’ll do whatever I need to for you to know that.” He murmurs against my lips. “I’ll fuck you straight through our headboard if that will convince you.” His kisses are hasty and I finally feel like I’m getting the Kevin that I wanted. Too little too late- the mood is decidedly gone. I close my eyes and lean into his bare chest.

“Maybe you could just hold me.” I whisper. Now all I feel is a vulnerability hangover that only his arms can cure.

“Of course. But can we go to the bed? My butt is asleep.” I nod and he helps me stand up. “Do you want clothes?” He asks me as I crawl onto the bed. I nod my head yes and he brings me a t-shirt, panties and a pair of pajama pants. I slide them on and then get under the covers. Kevin reaches for me and brings me across the bed to him. We meet in the middle; our legs and arms tangle together until there isn’t an end to either of us. The room is quiet but the silence feels comfortable.

“Do you still want to marry me?” I murmur anxiously to Kevin after a few moments. He lets out a chuckle.

“Yes. Even more than before.”

“It was the lingerie, right?”

“No, it’s the girl in it.” He slowly opens his eyes as I cup his strong jaw in my hand. “It’s going to be okay.” He assures me after studying my green eyes. I know he’s speaking of his contract situation and future on the Wild. “Just hold onto me. Don’t let go.”

“I won’t.” I assure him, gulping down the lump forming in my throat. Kevin’s lips press gently to mine and I kiss him back eagerly. “I’m yours. Forever and anywhere.”

“I know.” Kevin answers me with confidence.

And I mean it, but I drift to sleep that night hoping anywhere can still be here. _ _ _

Winter in Minnesota is anything but kind. However, I think the current temperature at Target Field is a new level of rude. It’s currently hovering at 0 degrees but with the windchill, it’s well into the negatives. I’m careful as I pull my skate laces tighter. The outsides of my pinky fingers tingle in protest but I persist. This is the Winter Classic after all. The team is finishing practice and several family members have already joined the skate. Kevin already ran by me to the locker room so he could shed a few pieces of his gear and add another heating layer now that he worked up a sweat in the chilly weather.

I finish the last of my skates, looping my laces and securing them in a bow. I reach for my choppers and put them back on to protect my skin. Then, I stand on my skates and look out across the Winter Classic ice. Wow. The league left no detail out. Everything about it screams State of Hockey. This Minnesotan is beside herself with excitement for it all.

“Pretty cool, huh?” Kevin says to me from my left. I snap my head to him and I can’t help the huge grin that goes onto my face. He’s wearing his team issued green, Winter Classic jacket, hockey gloves and the rest of his padding from the waist down.

“I have goosebumps. And It has nothing to do with the cold. This is really cool!”

“Then let’s go!” He encourages me towards the door to the bench. When my blades hit the ice, an excited squeal comes out of my lips.

“Ohmygod.” I breathe out and suck in the frigid air into my nose. It hurts and my eyes water from the wind, snow, and the emotions of how cool this is. This will be a game our state will never forget, a bright spot in an otherwise difficult time. I turn and skate backwards to look at Kevin. “I’m so glad I fell in love with you.” He lets out a hearty chuckle and reaches for me. I close my eyes and savor the brief moment we are connected.

“Sam! Here!” Kelly Talbot throws me a white beanie with a poof ball on it. On the front in forest green, glittery patches is the number 22.

“Oh fer cute!” I giggle, taking off the Wild Hockey hat I had on and replacing it. “Now everyone knows who I belong to.” I stick my tongue out at my fiancé.

“Yeah… it’s the hat. Not the fact that he follows you around like a puppy.” She teases me. I laugh and look at Kevin who scrunches his nose in annoyance.

“How about the engagement ring I gave you? I thought it was big enough to send the message.”

“Well you can’t see it through my gloves.” I hold up my covered hands at him.

“Bummer. We need to sacrifice your fingers so everyone knows.” His lips find mine and I laugh into his mouth.

“No thank you.” Our cold noses touch and I shiver a bit in response. “Okay, it is definitely cold AF. This is going to suck for you tomorrow. Hopefully you’ll be amped up enough you won’t notice.”

“It’s bad on the ice, but the bench has good heat.” He assures me. “I’m definitely wearing the head wrap. My ears would be falling off.” We skate around a few times as we chat, envisioning what the game will be like tomorrow. Kevin has never played in front of almost 40,000 fans, so he’s curious to how loud it will be. After a few more minutes, his gaze lifts to the bench and he nods his head in acknowledgement at someone.

“I have to do a video for the league’s Instagram account. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He kisses my cold cheek. “You look good even when you’re freezing.” He tells me, eyes dancing with love.

“Oh god. Stop.” I roll my eyes at him and shove him towards the bench. “Go do your thing, superstar.”

I watch as he skates over to the bench and grabs a phone from a man who is bundled up to the point that only his eyes are exposed. Definitely not from the northern part of the country. Kevin grabs the phone from him and goes to center ice where Kaapo Kahkonen is. I watch from my position by the penalty box and grin at how funny it is to see him like this. His voice changes and his enunciating of his English gets crystal clear as he puts forth the extra effort of his non-native language. He glances at me and I tuck my chin into the collar of my jacket to hide my laugh.

“Thank you, Kaapo. Let’s go talk to a Minnesotan next. Get the family involved.” Kevin’s eyes set on mine and he gives me an encouraging nod.

“Oh boy..” I trail off with a nervous laugh as Kevin comes over to me with the phone.

“This is my fiancé, Sam. Wave to the people, babe.” I do so and skate in closer to him so we are both in the frame. “You grew up in Minnesota. Is this what the state of hockey is all about?”

“Definitely.” I nod my head at him. “The league did a great job. I don’t think they missed anything. They even have an ice fishing hole out there.” I point beyond the ice. “Plus the weather is doing its part by showcasing a true Minnesota winter.”

“You’re used to winter here. Does this feel cold to you?” He asks, gesturing to the weather including the falling snow.

“Um, yes.” I laugh honestly.

“What tips do you have for me to stay warm tomorrow?”

“Score some goals.” We both laugh at that.

“Okay.” He gives the camera raised eyebrows and wide eyes. “Sam says goals will keep us warm, boys.” He says to Matt Dumba and Ryan Hartman.

“Solid advice.” Ryan nods his head at me. I give him a thumbs up.

“Alright, that’s it for me from the Winter Classic ice. We’ll see you tomorrow.” Kevin clicks off and hands the phone back to the social media staff member for the NHL.

“Riveting content.” I say to him when he skates back to me.

“What the people came for, for sure.”

The next night, the people did not get what they came for.

After an even first period, the Blues absolutely slaughtered the Wild from the moment the puck dropped in the second period. All the excitement and fun was quickly sucked out of Target Field and all that remained was the bitter, unforgiving temperatures. Luckily, we were under the heaters in premium seating, but the warmth did little to ease the discomfort of the night. Kevin did end up scoring one goal. The last seconds of the game are waning and I realize my eyelashes have frozen together from the cold. I stick my nose into my jacket for a few moments to try to regain some blood flow to my face.

When the final horn sounds, I clap my hands and release a heavy sigh. After two years of excitement, and many more than that hoping for this game, it was certainly not the ending any of us wanted.

My eyelashes have completely thawed by the time I see Kevin. My heart squeezes at his obvious displeasure. He’s quiet and still looks like he’s frozen solid. He greets me wordlessly with a kiss.

“Your goal, babe…” I say when we are in his car minutes later. “The patience… Incredible.” He shrugs as he turns out of the parking lot. “I know a win would have been nice, but it’s still a cool experience.” I pause and look at his face. He won’t look at me. “Emphasis on the cool.” I reach out and give his thigh a squeeze.

“It was something.” Okay, so talking about the actual hockey part of the game is a no-go right now.

“Do you still have all your toes and fingers?”

“Yes?” He questions me with a head shake.

“Well there you go! You did win! And I got to drink cider slushies all night. Success.” I give a resolved nod of my head and look back at the snow covered road. Because Target Field is only a few blocks from our place, we pull into our parking garage quickly. Kevin shuts the car off and releases a sigh.

“Damn, I’m still freezing.” He says as he turns to look at me. His shoulders shake from a chill.

“Good thing I know a way to warm you up.” I say to him, unbuckling my seatbelt and reaching for him. An immediate, knowing smile stretches his lips.

“How?”

“Fucking.” I whisper against his lips. He laughs into our smooch and I know he’s turning the corner into a cheerier Kevin. “Your goal.” I try again. “Tell me that one didn’t feel nice.”

“Of course it did. But you’re going to feel better.”

“Fine. Avoid it for now, but we are talking about this later.” I insist to him.

“Okay.” He rolls his eyes. “Get moving.” He jerks his head towards the elevator. I step from the car and begin to walk. I hear Kevin’s door shut, but his footsteps don’t follow. I throw a glance over my shoulder and see him standing by the car staring at me.

“What?” I ask him.

“Just watching my whole world.”

“Walk away from you?” I laugh at him. He begins to walk towards me.

“I see it as you walking towards exactly where I want you.” He comes beside me and wraps an arm around me. He dips his hand into the back pocket of my jeans and we walk together to the elevator.

“Your dick?” I joke as he presses the up button.

“I was thinking on my face, in our bed, but we can go with that too.”

“Oh-kay.” I groan out to him. I reach for the up button and begin to push it incessantly. “Come on!” I yell in fake desperation.

Kevin and I dissolve into laughter and just like that, the world feels a little more okay.

#letters in your last name au #my writing #hockey fan fiction #hockey writing #NHL writing

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