#every action matters

[this-user-is-sus]

I'm doing something bizarre and radical today: I took the bus

Yes, I own a car--this doesn't cost any more than driving

Yes it takes a little longer--but given the parking situation at my destination, maybe it doesn't. I would have been cruising for parking for 10 minutes anyway. Plus I'm getting to post this from the bus and do some reading, so truly, am I losing time or gaining time?

And now there are 8 fewer kg of CO2 in our shared atmosphere, you're welcome. Every action matters.

Sorry if I sound a little confrontational, but I'm just so sick of everyone driving everywhere while the planet burns

(Literally burns--the wildfire smoke from Canada is coming south today and all the sunlight has that weird yellow look to it.)

Anyway, ride the bus, it's better than driving ✌️

#public transit #bus #buses #take the bus #my posts #every action matters #sustainability #climate change

[veliseraptor]

sometimes fandom seems to struggle with the concept that...people can be kind/"good people" in some situations and very very not kind/not "good people" in others.

I feel like there's this urge to either write off the positive behavior as "fake" or to find a way to ignore/explain away/write out the negative behavior. and I personally find this really really irritating in both directions, actually

#the really bitchy addition to this post i'm leaving in the tags: it kinda makes me wonder if they've ever met real people #this isn't just about villain police stuff either #but it's not not about that either #mostly it's just. characters can be more than one thing depending on the situation #just because a character kills somebody doesn't mean every time they're nice it's totally fake #and conversely: just because somebody does good things doesn't mean they can't also have taken very harmful actions #anyway. irritable early morning post i might regret later #lise's aggressively bitchy opinions about irrelevant and unimportant matters

[feroluce]

So I adore time loops and I think Sampo would be very fun in a time loop AU. Because despite having so many onscreen interactions with so many characters, he almost always seems to hold people at a certain careful distance, so it's fun to imagine what or who he's willing to use a time loop for, how far he's willing to go, how much he actually does care.

At the end of the Masquerade Duet companion quest, Sparkle mentions a catastrophe soon to befall Jarilo-VI. And some players have interpreted this as a past event (the catastrophe being the story quests we took part in there), but other players have speculated this as an upcoming disaster that Sampo is trying to mitigate.

And so, Gepard finds Sampo in Belobog, right after he was supposed to return from Penacony...or whatever it was called, Gepard had almost been too relieved to remember the name after Natasha assured him that Sampo was fine and not missing or dead, just on a trip since the planet was finally open for travel.

He had assumed this was some kind of vacation, or some shady business endeavor (valid), but when he sees him, Sampo looks. Exhausted.

His usual smirk is there, but there's something horribly off about it that Gepard can't put into words. His voice doesn't have the usual bounce in it. His gait slightly off. There are bags under his eyes, his hair is just the slightest bit out of place. Sampo looks exhausted.

His feet move without him really thinking, he goes up to Sampo to say...something. Maybe just ask him if he's ok. But he can't leave this alone and not do anything, because Gepard can feel it, something is wrong.

And that feeling sticks with him, like the persistent cold, like frostbite, all day. Gepard can't seem to shake it. There is a collective unease seeping through Belobog, sinking deep, tangling around their bones. And the only one who seems to be reacting truly different to it is Sampo.

Gepard tries to tail the guy a few times, anything he can do to learn about what's going on and ease this devouring dread, but Sampo seems to know where he's hiding and calls him out every single time.

He dodges every question (normal), slips out of every grab and grasp (normal), barely even looks at Gepard (decidedly NOT normal).

And maybe it's the darkness that seems to hover over them. The way the air feels like it is pressing down and smothering the breath out of his lungs. But Gepard's patience finally snaps, much sooner than he ever would have thought it would, and he finally grabs Sampo by the collar, hauls him up and forces his back against the brick wall of the alleyway. Because maybe Sampo makes his living double crossing and stabbing backs and he wouldn't understand this, but Gepard has a family, he has people he wants to protect, and so he needs to know what the fuck is going on.

And he knows he's crossed a line the moment he says it. He knows it's not true. Gepard has seen the way Sampo and Caelus sneak around in the Fragmentum or meander down the alleys, snickering with their arms slung around each other. He's seen the way Sampo lets Hook climb up his back onto his shoulders while he takes the moles on little adventures. He's seen the way he and Serval rib each other like it was natural, easy, and the way he goes out of his way for Natasha like he wouldn't any other client, had even trusted her with the knowledge that he was leaving off-planet.

Sampo has people he wants to protect, too, and Gepard shouldn't have accused him otherwise.

But before he can even apologize, Sampo does something stranger still.

Instead of telling him off, or taking a swing at him- both things Gepard would admit he deserved- Sampo just. Lifts one hand, lays it over Gepard's fists still balled in his jacket. Like he's keeping him there. Even through his gloves, his hand is warm.

And Sampo doesn't even really look at him, he leaves his head hung low as he quietly tells Gepard to just go home. Stay in with his family. Don't come out. Please. Please.

But eventually, the catastrophe strikes.

And Gepard can't. He can't stay safe inside his home while this is happening. He can't ignore this. He tells Serval and Lynx to stay in. Don't come out. And he dons his armor and marches out to protect as many people as he can.

When it's all said and done, all Gepard can see is rubble piled around him and a blackened sky. He can hear fire crackling. He can hear a voice he recognizes as Serval's wailing and screaming his name, and he knows she's not going to find him in time. She shouldn't even be out here.

A bloodied face swims into view, bright green eyes looking hollowed and haunted, posture weary and defeated. Gepard reaches out a shaking arm, trying to grab at Sampo's pantleg, trying to make any sound other than gurgling the blood filling his throat, because he knows it for certain now, he knew, Sampo knew.

"Not this time either, huh...?" The sigh he heaves isn't theatrical, for once. Somewhere, rubble groans and loudly collapses. Sampo doesn't even startle or turn to look at it. "I'll figure it out soon, I promise. There has to be a way to pull you through this alive. There has to be."

Something materializes in his hand, something red. Gepard's vision dims at the edges as he watches Sampo hold the mask over his face, as it seemingly attaches itself directly to his skin.

"See you on the next go around, Captain."

#hsr #sampard #gepo #gepard landau #sampo koski #I love open endings for things like this #but I did have the thought that like. the aeons are powerful enough to be immune to Sampo fucking with the timeline. so they all know. #(Aha is watching with a bucket of popcorn bc Sampo is Their Little Guy and They love to see him thrown into Situations ndmzjznd) #but this means that Qlipoth is also aware of what's going down. and They see how no matter what happens no matter what little things change #-Gepard still chooses to preserve whatever life he can. he chooses to protect every single time. and that becomes his saving grace. #Gepard DOES pull through not by compromising his morals but as a reward for keeping them because Qlipoth turns Their eye upon him. #They choose Gepard as Their Emanator. and that's what finally gives him power and the chance to live through his own actions. #and thank god lol bc Sampo would NOT be having an easy time with this au. i think everyone else he cares about would be relatively safe. #but Gepard considers it his DUTY to protect people. this is his RESPONSIBILITY. and he is so so goddamn stubborn about it. #so this isn't a case of man vs act of god. It's not Sampo vs The Catastrophe that's not what's going on here. #it's Sampo vs Gepard's unyielding will to protect whoever he can #and he is fighting a losing battle

[add1ctedt0you]

What a plot twist you were. [x]

#Like. The narrator introduces jc to us as the antagonist #Then we got to know him. Not who people think he's. But who he really is #And we saw jc giving wwx a piggyback. Giving him soup. Rescuing him. Putting himself between wwx and any danger (madam yu/wen soldiers) #And even the staged fight. It's yk. Staged #jc wanted to protect wwx at any cost. But wwx wasn't willing to compromise. But jc did #The fight was wwx's idea. Because jc is an enabler (just like jfm and jyl) #jc is ready to bend for his loved ones sake #The point is. Every action jc takes. Is in the name of his loves ones' safety. And surprise. wwx is one of the people jc really cares about #Even after wwx' return. Aside a broken cup. jc isn't doing much to stop wwx or anything. We know that jl was able to free wwx from Zidian #only because jc - Zidian's primary master- wanted it! #And jc fling himself into danger countless times to save wwx even though wwx can't sit still with him for a hot minute #What I wanted to say it's that the jc is presented to us - the mean ungrateful man- is very different from the real jc - #the indulgent uncle who rolls his eyes at his nephew antics. the brother who buries the hatchet for his sister's happiness. #the uncle who kinda wants to help wn to get up from the floor because he was an ass to jc but he helped jl and that's what matters to jc #the sect leader who let two women speak freely their mind in a patriarchy society #People better than me have already said this. shit I can't remember my point lmao #Like. jc is presented as an antagonist but what this man wanted was an apology and an explanation #This post is a mix of a rant I wrote last year (ha) after seeing a bad take. About what I don't remember lmaoo. And me wanting #to make gifs of wzc in this scene. Why does he look so good. It should be illegal. Seriously #jiang cheng #*mgifs

[ghoulishtomato]

You know what? I kind of like the allure of a ship not being explicitly stated as canon. I love the chase. I love wondering. I love getting to see small moments and getting to Pepe Silvia my way to an explanation about how that small moment means the ship is totally definitely canon.

The reasoning for a ship being canon being as easy as, "They said 'I love you' and kissed" will never be as enticing as having to explain why "I ain't Quittin' you" is, in fact, secret code for "I'm gay and one day we will have a bond so strong that every little moment between us means 'I love you' without us ever actually saying those words"....

...among other things.

#night at the museum #jedtavius #free iwatobi swim club #free iwatobi gay club #reigisa #a terrified teacher at ghoul school #mikiharu #makoharu #fandom culture #fandom #fandom things #natm jedediah #natm octavius #natm jedtavius #natm #natm fandom #sports anime #This applies to every sports anime by the way #Hell any action anime for that matter

[littlespoonevan]

the thing about romcoms is just- it's never meant to be 'is it believable?' but instead 'do you believe it?' do you believe these two characters are actually falling in love with each other??? do you believe their chemistry??? do you believe whatever obstacle is thrown in their way is legitimately something that might keep them apart for a time and not something that could be solved with one conversation?? do you believe that they believe they need to fake date for this very specific reason??? do you believe the reason why they're 'enemies' at the start, no matter how silly a misunderstanding it may be??? do you believe the grand romantic gesture fits the characters and is actually how one character would show their love to the other?? like!!!! it's about empathy and authenticity and feeling what the characters feel so strongly that even if it's a trope or a cliché it doesn't matter because you believe it

#this is what separates a good romcom from a bad romcom for me #if the conventions of the genre are used in a way that feels authentic to the characters then it'll never feel cheesy #one of my biggest pet peeves is some of the romcoms of the last decade who have this real 'we're not like other romcoms' energy #where they try to act like they're Different and move away from the usual tropes but it's shit bc that's not the point!!!! #those tropes and conventions are staples of the genre for a reason #it's how you utilise them and incorporate them that matters #like fuck me i hate action movies but i know if i go see one there's a 99% chance there'll be a car chase scene #bc that's usually a staple feature of an action movie and i mean idc but that's fine bc i know it has a function in the story to increase #the tension #and even at that someone who really loves action movies could probably tell me the difference between a good car chase scene & a subpar one #in the same way that just saying something is fake dating doesn't automatically make it good #but if i believe it and i'm in it with the characters? oh boy i'm about to feel so dELIGHTED for the next 90 minutes thank you so much #anyway i'm rewatching the lost city and every second of this movie is so silly in a fun way and fantastical but oH BOY DO I BELIEVE IT #mine

[shhhhimwatchingthis]

ok yeah, I'm willing to put Young Royals up as one of, if not the best teen drama ever written

and not just writing! cinematography, costumes, music, performances! this show truly is a masterpiece

#young royals #Riverdale wishes it had the thematic consistency #this is the show euphoria thinks it is but its actually competently executed #teenagers who get away with nothing every action has a consequence #its about making mistakes and fucking up and forgiveness where its earned and moving on even if you cant forgive #its about love mattering even when it ends nothing is a waste it matters that the love was there even if its not with you forever #its about the first loves of yout life and that those loves wont always be Romantic and theyll be just as if not more important #its about loving yourself enough to push back against the system that is trying to break you because you dont deserve to be treated that way #its ALSO about wild parties and doing shots with your teachers and celebrating when the end comes cause you might as fucking well #its about first loves second chances three cheers for the end of bad things the coming of the future #because some things can and should end and the pain of it will pass and the love you felt wasnt wasted and you can take the good parts with #but that car is leaving down that forest road and you cant stay here you gotta go so who are going with and how loud can you sing with them #look right down the lens smile at the camera baby you might as well #netflix drama #wille x simon #crown prince wilhelm #simon eriksson #sara eriksson #felice ehrencrona #august of årnäs

[cuckweeds]

if you think you are morally responsible for Trump's actions if you do not vote against him then why do you not think you are morally responsible for Bidens actions if you do actually vote for him?

#it truly doesnt make sense to me how you guys can think this way #you are responsible for your inactions but not for your actions? #also why do you guys think that every vote that isnt for joe Biden is a vite for trump #do you know theres people who voted third party instead of trump? #thats right i know multiple people who voted for jill stein last election instead of trump! #not everyone voting third party is someone who wouldve otherwise voted blue and its silly to assume so #sometimes voting third party takes votes away from republicans too! and you could encourage more republicans to vite third party too! #i stg the democratic party is so sad #all of you “blue is ALWAYS better than red no matter what” sound so ridiculous like #so if trump switched parties right now hed be the good guy? #bc thats essentially what yall are saying when all you care about is whether they call themselves a democrat or not

[this-user-is-sus]

I participated in a waste audit for two days this week. (Won't say for who. Won't say where. Privacy and all that.)

Unsurprisingly, so much recycling and compostable food goes in the trash. So much trash goes in the recycling. So many items are created only to be discarded. I knew that. I know that.

What the audit really drove home for me was every action matters. What was my defining item for this? Coffee creamer cups. You know, those tiny little plastic cups with about one tablespoon each of liquid, most-fake-dairy creamer?

One coffee creamer cup? It's just a tiny thing, right? No harm done, right?

Seeing the waste from the coffee station where everyone uses "just one" coffee creamer cup, and suddenly you have an entire 30 gallon trash bag full of the things? They add up. (Plus they can't be recycled with current all-in-one-bin systems. See my palm test post. Once they're used, the material is going to be lost: buried to leach into the water supply or burned to contribute to greenhouse gas emissions.)

It makes me sad, because if the business had just had some of those fancy metal carafes of creamers, or even just cartons of milk, this could have been avoided. Milk jugs and cartons are easily recycled, and generated fewer pounds of waste overall.

Every action matters.

#environmentalism #waste less #every action matters #trash #waste #recycling #waste audit #meirl #my posts

[sw4nfire]

jeff ward + impel down + more accurate make up look =

#buggy the clown #buggy one piece #one piece live action #i dont think the netflix show would survive till impel down so im taking matters into my own hand #myarttt #i kept drawing him with a ref and every time id look at the ref id realize his eyelashes were LONGER than what i was drawing #every single time

[tigergendermoved]

Remembering the toxic hellscape that was 2015-2019ish SU fandom and just how much hate the show got is really insane when you rewatch the show after it's been a while. Like the show is good what the hell were any of these people talking about

#do NOT quote me on those numbers i pulled them straight out of my ass #like the ending was rushed and the diamonds didnt get to be fully developed but liek #the whole reason that was the case is there was an entire 6th season planned #and then the show got axed early because rebecca sugar and crew refused the back down on the rupphire wedding. #and even rushedness aside like the point of the show was never that you should hug fascists and forgive people no matter what #the diamond were rose's (and his) dysfunctional family whose personal suffering became the basis for the cruelty of gem society #bismuth in The Real World would have been right to want to kill the diamonds as a force of revolution #but the point of the show is that even the most complicated people are still people who can change. even if you dont forgive them #even steven quartz universe the most loving boy in the world very obviously does not like being around the diamonds. but that is how it is #it was a children's show that emphasized compassion and communication and family as themes. of course steven didnt kill the diamonds lol #i really fully believe the stevenbomb format (which was not the crew's choice or fault) cooked peoples' brains #you had months between major arcs so every wrongdoing by a character had months to be warped and misinterpreted and so no resolution could #ever satisfy fans who were festering with their own opinions for way too long #like these arcs looking back are not that long and they resolve in fairly reasonable manners but they took fuckin forever in real time to #wrap up #and ppl on the internet with no other hobbies than arguing made the fandom suck to be in and gave su a bad name #even if you dont like steven universe i think the amount of vitriol thrown at the show is/was fucking INSANE for what it is lmaooo #people were so so jolly to accuse rebecca sugar (a jewish lady) of being a fascist/fash sympathizer and paint every writing shortcoming or #morally dubious character action as a sign of pure fuckin evil #ok that was a long ass fuckin rant in the tags i am so sorry i'm just kind of opinionated on this matter as i am all matters #i've been rewatching su with my dad lately and this very normal and well paced and fun watchthrough experience has been illuminating #just how insane and uncalled for the hellish discourse sphere around su was/is #i say was/is i have no idea what su discourse is like nowadays. i'm too scareds to look in the su crit tag

[anxiously-sidequesting]

To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that ✨💅🏾💃🕺 Single Life™. You are a middle-aged man. Cope

#this post is lighthearted btw JELAJWODJTU i aint actually mad #but like...... malistaire as a villain is kinda mid though im sorry. IM SORRY ill take the L opinion if i have to #its one thing if he lost his wife to unfair systematic negligence or thru someone else's doings or smth but. no she just got sick bro 😐 #HWMSNFLEKSDIDOA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL GIVW A BAD OPINION AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. i cant be right ALL the time /j #like if i dont focus on malistaire's motives and just his ACTIONS he seems super metal #but then he does ALLLLL of that heinous shit because his wife died. like thats absolutely very sad but damn get a grip #(fandom starts breaking in my windows and drags me out into the street) IM SORRY IM SORRY LOOK ITS JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA #ive never been invested in those Mr. Freeze types of villains where a person they love dies due to normal circumstances- #and they go fucking BERSERK. they LOSE IT. they go like “well okay fuck the entire world i guess nothing matters” and then kill people #LIKE IF IT'S DONE IN A CERTAIN WAY I CAN BE INVESTED but more often than not to me? its just kind of funny #like “okay damn there was only ONE person keeping you from being a national criminal? okay” #and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood #without my cat i probanly would have become the president by now #for some reason its a little diff for me if its like a child you lost and idk why #like if malistaire lost a kid instead of his wife id probably be more inclined to feel bad and thats terribly fucked up JSLSJSJSJ #you know what its also bias because in some shape or form i relate to all the other villains. morganthe and duncan especially #whereas in malitsaire's case i have never been married. which i mean doesnt stop me from tryna be more synpathetic i guess but im just not #ONCE AGAIN FEEL VERY BAD FOR HIM AND SULVIA. like losing someone to sickness or any reason really is a serious thing #but in terms of a fictional setting with fictional characters where one of them decides to commit genocide over it? 🧍 like okay boo u do u #i will gladly give up my mantle for the “most reasonable opinions” guy in the fandom foe this one. i deserve it #wizard101 #w101 #wiz101 #text posts #malistaire drake

[22degreehalo]

Haruka kissing Fuuta and him immediately flashing back to all those times he sent death threats to proshippers for 'sexualising neurodivergent people' by writing smut about them because traumatised people 'can't consent'

#milgram #I ddont actually think Fuuta was in fandom at all but. #the comedy/drama/catharsis/my personal special interest potential. of it all. is just. #Fuuta latching on to Haruka because he is so obviously The Victim who needs to be protected from Predators #but as time goes on and he gets more and more horrified by his past actions and conflicted about himself #questioning every hateful thing he thinks abt Mu (not even sure if 'i'm just jealous' is better or not) #meanwhile Haruka is just. openly happy to receive any kind(?) treatment no matter who or what or why #Fuuta asking himself if he's a manipulator 300 times in a row meanwhile Haruka's like 'that'd be okay. manipulators are nice :)' #why is there not more fic abt these two cmon the potential is INCREDIBLE

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

I like how everyone probably expected just another lighthearted sitcom with The Good Place given Mike Schur’s previous work and instead were gobsmacked with a show about how it is impossible to be a perfect ethical human and that we’re all just trying our best.

#the good place #like it’s pointless to try to twist yourself into knots into being perfectly ethical or moral in every action #as well as trying to police others’ actions and whether or not they’re moral or ethical #like no matter how good your intentions are there is always something down the line that was done unethically or immorally #we’re just trying our best and that’s all that really matters #I feel like it didn’t get quite the popularity/success of nbc’s other sitcoms but it definitely deserves to #this is what my brain was thinking about trying to fall back asleep this morning

[zeb-z]

hunter this, hunter that, I think hunter is well within his rights to be wary of a distress signal from crosshair, especially considering how much of a trap the last signal was

#‘we make our own choices. and we have to live with them too’ there it is! the consequences of crosshairs actions! wild huh #everyone doing a full 180 suddenly crosshairs biggest defender like y’all #of course they don’t trust him of course they’re wary no matter what the contents of the signal is #we’ve seen his development. the last they’ve seen of him is him refusing to go with them off kamino. choosing the empire to find power #and that choice was entirely his. he had every chance to leave with them. they wanted him to go with them. like be serious now #sorry he shot himself in the foot with this. yeah the empire told him to aim and fire but he still pulled the damn trigger #like oh suddenly the brother who was hunting you to the ends of the earth of mostly his own choice is sending another distress signal? #yeah I’d be wary too bitch! #no matter the contents #it sucks. it hurts because we know the context and what he’s been through. they do not #tbb #the bad batch #the bad batch spoilers #tbb crosshair #tbb hunter #sw #Star Wars #z speaks

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

this might be a controversial opinion idk, but i feel like a lot of people assign more intent to dream's ending than was actually there

like. yes his death was in part a suicide, i'm not saying it wasn't, and i've talked a lot about the reasons and motivations behind that already. but i've seen a lot of responses to my posts lately talking about how dream knew this would definitely happen and he had a plan and was doing [x] thing because he knew it would lead to his death (or the more gentle version that he didn't plan it, but saw it coming and did nothing to stop it)

which. doesn't feel like an accurate description of what happened?

because he tried to stop the kindly ones plot. he genuinely did

he knew that the furies wouldn't be persecuting him out of nowhere, that's unlike them, there's enough nuance in this situation that something else has to be spurring them. which is true. lyta invoked the furies for revenge against dream, and the blood debt is enough of a technicality that they had the power to back her

so dream goes after lyta - stop her, stop the furies. but he's met with thessaly, who predicted this, and has protected lyta inside a ritual circle, which dream can't cross. she taunts him about it (bc this kind of magic is one of the few places mortals have more power than endless), and when he asks why, she says she wanted to hurt him

alright. no stopping the furies. but dream knows they will have to meet him face to face if they want to do anything about this, so as long as they meet him in the dreaming, that's his seat of power, they won't be able to act against him in any real capacity. he'll just have to wait them out, until they tire of this or something happens to lyta

there's one more caveat though - if he leaves the dreaming willingly during their attack, he cedes that seat of power, he won't be the master of the dreaming anymore, it'll belong to them. and that's the last thing he wants, so he tells delirium when she asks that he can't go with her, he has to stay here

nuala is the breaking point. because he has still been dealing with suicidal thoughts for centuries, they're not new and they didn't go anywhere, he's just really good at ignoring those thoughts in favour of his actual responsibilities. and while he didn't intend to die here, he's more exhausted than ever, he's lost in grief over his son, and for the first time, doesn't have the strength to push those thoughts down. nuala calls him from the dreaming, because he promised her any request, and it's a good enough excuse and he's tired enough that for a moment his subconscious wins that battle

and from there he's stuck. he tries to go back to the dreaming and fix it, but it's not his anymore. so he's left with only two choices - leave, abandon all this, go somewhere far away and stop caring about everyone you left behind and what the furies may do to the dreaming in your absence - it's no longer your problem. or he can acquiesce to their demands, lyta's call for revenge

and given who dream is, that was never any kind of choice.

i think people assume he planned it all because of one of these lines

but that's the thing. when the only thing keeping you going is the fact that suicide would be the most terrible horrible act you could possibly commit (this is someone who values his responsibility over anything else! he is dutiful! the whole point is he cannot willingly abandon his post!), you definitely haven't made a plan, and you're never going to. it's an escapist fantasy that sits at the back of your mind, that's all

the things death is drilling him about here are his decision with nuala and the fact that he never chose to leave, even when he got in way over his head, that's all she questions him about in this conversation

and i don't think he's lying in his response to her

yes, he's been 'making preparations' for a while, but those are things like ensuring daniel's ascendancy, tying up loose ends with people, actions that don't lead to anything. he doesn't have to die just because he did those things, those are just emergency precautions. and they make him feel better to do, because he gets to indulge in that fantasy without doing anything about it. he can't be blamed for this, they don't mean he wants to leave, he's going to keep doing his job forever because he has to

but you know. just in case. he's just being smart about it. that's what he can tell himself, anyway

and the reason why this distinction matters so much to me is, dream really tried. we see as early as season of mists that this is what his internal monologue is like so much of the time, given the slightest excuse to give up, in this case literally just the journey between the dreaming and hell, and some part of him yearns to just abandon everything

but he tells it no. he's been telling it no for centuries. this has been a constant fight to stay alive and he's been doing it! it's not been easy, but he's been putting in so much unnoticed work to keep everything going, to not give up. and one moment of weakness that ended up being his downfall shouldn't get to erase that

and when we say that he planned this the whole time, or that he knew this would happen and let it, we're not really appreciating just how much he tried

#also just in a narrative sense watching someone execute a suicide plan perfectly is not a tragedy #a tragedy is when you try and you fail because if you could have gotten yourself out of this you wouldn't be who you are #something something equating thought with action #yes this is what he *wanted*. but almost every time no it's not what he *chose*. and that matters #anyway this is not a dig at anyone in particular but yeah i have emotions about this one #suicide tw #sandman comic spoilers #the sandman #dream of the endless #mine #meta