#f in the chat for the lan juniors | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess · 11 months

Text

No simping in the Cloud Recesses!!

I received permission to write a ficlet based off this amazing post by the lovely @lovewanxian and this is the result. They're working on their own fic on the same premise, so make sure to give them some love when they post it <3

I had a lot of fun writing this and drank a lot of water to quench the thirst. It didn't work, but I highly recommend hydration - and have fun!

Lan Sizhui is suffering.

Now before you get up in arms about who to kill, it's not that kind of suffering. Nobody's trying to kill him and Lan Jingyi's pranks have yet to land him in the infirmary - the suffering that's plaguing Lan Sizhui is spiritual.

No, it's not a qi deviation, although he is quite sure he's heading that way far too quickly for his age and skill level. And he didn't get cursed either - hm, well, that's debatable in the circumstances - but the point is, his suffering isn't caused by anything that's related to cultivation or any outside interference.

Lan Sizhui is suffering because all his friends are simping.

But that's normal teenage boy behavior, you might argue. Teenagehood is, virtually, the best age to simp, it's basically in the job description for the ages between 13 and 19.

Fair, but Lan Sizhui's friends are simping over Senior Wei, who is twice their age, married and one of Sizhui's beloved father figures. See the issue yet?

Imagine all your friends do all day is lament over how much they want your dad to "punish" them, how hot his ghostly cultivation is and how much they wish he'd turn them into fierce corpses - Sizhui suffering makes sense now, doesn't it?

And he's been through this before. His friends' first crush has largely been Hanguang-Jun. Understandable - Sizhui has eyes, and he can admit he's attractive, objectively speaking.

To Sizhui, he's been the closest thing to a parent for many years, so thinking of him as anything less is weird - but facts are facts. Hanguang-Jun is powerful, domineering, but kind and supportive. These are all attractive features.

Sizhui has long grown used to Jingyi fangirling over him, and to the self-insert fic black market he ran out of their room from ages 12 to 15. He's done handstands for days to atone for it, and has made peace with it.

Of course, all juniors have kept some degree of Hanguang-Jun worship and, as the female disciples put it, "fanny flutters", but the crushing has evolved into admiration rather than infatuation and Sizhui only has to deal with number one Hanguang-Jun stan fluttering over his dad.

And then Senior Wei came about and Sizhui's peace of mind has gone to hell.

Disclaimer for all of you clutching your pearls right now: Sizhui loves Senior Wei very much and is infinitely grateful to have him back, has even slipped and called him "baba" a few times. The problem doesn't lay with Senior Wei at all.

The problem lays with the entirety of the Lan junior population (please let it be just the juniors, if the seniors simp over Senior Wei too, Sizhui's going to defect) being shameless about a man that's treated them as nothing less than his unofficially adopted children.

And how do they show their gratitude? By lusting over him and moaning about how lucky Hanguang-Jun is to bed him every night.

Lan Sizhui is suffering.

---

Lan Wangji is suffering.

No, he isn't dying, cursed, qi deviating or having to sit through sect leader Yao's rants - he's being Wei Ying's teacher assistant for his introductory talisman course.

It may sound confusing - how could that be a cause for suffering? Lan Wangji loves his husband and being around him, finds his inventions fascinating and likes helping him. So what's the issue?

The issue is that literally nobody in that whole entire classroom is paying any attention to the lesson. Sword to their neck, he is positive neither of them would be able to recall not even the past five minutes of talisman theory.

But ask them anything about Wei Ying and they'd rant for hours. And Lan Wangji doubts it would be a respectful rant.

Because the Lan juniors may not be paying attention to talismans, but by God are they paying attention to their teacher. Lan Wangji can virtually see the hearts in their eyes and the bloodflow directing down south - and he hates it. Wei Ying is being such a thorough teacher, he's putting his heart and soul into it, but his class seems fascinated only with the robes he wears, the way he moves, and they nearly break their necks to look at him when he turns his back to write something on the blackboard.

(Okay, Lan Wangji does too, sue him, that's his husband, he's allowed.)

Point is, these kids are entirely undisciplined. Lusting after seniors is not explicitly forbidden in the rules, but Lan Wangji is going to suggest his uncle adds it to the list. This way, he can hand harsh punishments fairly. Nobody is allowed to have horny thoughts about his husband except for him.

And it's not like the kids are being subtle about it either.

Here's an exmple.

Wei Ying's just finished demonstrating the penmanship for a banishing talisman, and encouraged the students to try it themselves, as he would walk among them and offer help where needed.

Everyone - everyone except Sizhui and Jingyi - needed help. Even those that Lan Wangji knew to be specialized in talisman work.

Everyone needed Senior Wei to take their hand in his, lean closely and direct their brush strokes. Everyone needed to be spoken to softly and encouraged to try again.

Lan Wangji has broken two brushes already and he's probably going to move to breaking fingers next.

One of the students, Lan Yichen, Hanguang-Jun's third favorite after his two ducklings (yes, they're his favorites, no, nobody knows and this doesn't cloud his judgement, yes, they're his ducklings), raised his hand and called for "teacher Wei" (Lan Wangji glares his way, but of course the little horny bastard has no time to look anywhere but at Wei Ying).

"What's wrong?" Wei Ying very obliviously asks and Lan Wangji feels the wood of his third brush crack in his grip.

"I really don't know why this talisman won't burn correctly..." Lan Yichen whines, looking up at his senior through his lashes, pathetic and submissive.

Lan Wangji will have him copy the rules about propriety fourty times.

Wei Ying looks over his shoulder at his talisman, and doesn't see the way the boy leans into his scent just a little bit, his cheeks dusting red at the close contact.

Lan Wangji fights the urge to grip Bichen. He can't kill a kid. Come on.

Wei Ying takes the brush from his hand and glides it once over the talisman paper. He smiles encouragingly at Yichen, who's managed to make himself look borderline tearful. "Let's try it together now."

"T-Together?"

Lan Wangji is a strong man. Self-disciplined, in control. He doesn't know how much longer he'll be able to stop himself from - what was the word Jingyi used... ah yes - yeeting that young man all the way to his home sect.

"I'll send in some of my spiritual energy, and you send in the rest. Let's see if anything cool happens, yeah?"

The boy looks like he's won the lottery. Lan Wangji can see it behind the sopping wet cat look. The brush in his hand is halfway broken now.

The talisman lights up blue and dissipates.

"Wow!" Lan Yichen shouts, as if he hasn't been using talismans for the past 5-7 years of his cultivation career. "You're so good at this, teacher Wei!"

Wei Ying laughs and pats the boy's head before returning to his teaching desk. Behind him, the boy looks like he's just ascended. Or had an orgasm.

Either way, Lan Wangji breaks his brush in little smithereens and tries talking himself out of murder.

"These kids are so distracted today." Wei Ying sighs. "I knew I shouldn't have taken you with me, all they do is look at you."

It takes all Lan Wangji has not to side eye his husband.

---

Lan Sizhui walks into his room after having tea with his dads - they always have tea together before night hunts, a little ritual to lift their spirits and... well, for a last memory if something bad happens. It's a risk of the job, after all, though it's highly unlikely, considering how powerful both Hanguang-Jun and Senior Wei are.

So, Sizhui happily returns to his room to get ready and finds several of his friends all over the place, looking much like the backstage to a courtesan show. Some are struggling on deciding which robes to put on, others fight for natural light to powder their faces and the rest struggle with hairstyles.

"Hello, people who do not live here. Where's Jingyi?"

"Getting scolded for calling sect leader Nie cunty to his face at the last discussion conference." One of the boys, Lan Haoran, answers, blending the powder into his skin to hide acne scars. "He's not allowed to come to the night hunt with us."

"That's a compliment." Sizhui replies, and barely manages to reach his wardrobe for clothes in the mess.

"Tell that to teacher Lan Qiren."

"Anyway, what are you guys doing here?"

"Getting ready for the night hunt, duh!" Another, Lan Lixin, says, fixing a golden hairpiece in his bun.

"And since when does night hunting entail a makeover?"

"You want us to look like shit with Senior Wei around?!" Lan Tao exclaims, emerging from the bathroom in a delicately ornate set of light blue robes. "We have to look presentable."

Sizhui rolls his eyes. "You know he only has eyes for Hanguang-Jun."

"It's worth a try." Lan Lixin says, taking a final look in the mirror. "And anyway, last time he said he liked my hairpin, so what more could a man want from life?"

Sizhui takes in a deep breath to calm down. "And why are you lot here instead of your own rooms?"

"Your room has the best lighting." Lan Haoran responds. "God, I really need to invest in some skincare."

"Anyways, do you guys think we'll get to see Senior Wei control the Ghost General this time?" Lan Tao asks.

There are three dreamy sighs in response.

"I wish he'd control me like that. He wouldn't even need Chenqing, I'd just do anything he wanted stat."

"Same. I love when he gets all serious, I'd love him to get like that with me~"

"You guys realize I'm right here, right?"

---

Wei Ying saves his third Lan junior of the night and he's starting to grow tired. Of course, he doesn't expect them to be able to take on a night hunt independently and succeed at it, he's quite sure they've never been so uncoordinated before.

The strings of the guqin vibrate loudly and the fierce corpses kneel, growling in pain. Wei Ying rushes to pluck yet another child from their grasps and sends a burst of resentful energy their way. "It's alright, I got you."

The boy in his arms whines and hides further in Wei Ying's chest. He didn't get hurt that badly, but Wei Ying figures it must have been terrifying for him to be nearly torn into, so his reaction is understandable.

He gently lays the boy against a tree, wipes some dirt off his face and sends him a reassuring smile. "It's all right now, you're safe."

"Thank you, senior Wei..."

Lan Wangji rolls his eyes as his fingers move over the guqin. Who knew the Lan have so many aspiring actors in their ranks?

Wei Ying lifts Chenqing to his lips and a shrill tune fills the silence. The fierce corpses writhe at the sound, and, holding the flute with one hand, Wei Ying sends three talismans to immobilize them.

A nod is all it takes for Hanguang-Jun to send Bichen their way.

"Wow..." the "injured" juniors exclaim, eyes fixated on senior Wei, his eyes glowing red and expression determined.

Sizhui, who's unfortunately been delegated to tend to their wounds, fastens a bandage a bit too hard on one of his friends, pulling his attention away.

"You lot are being ridiculous. You could've gotten killed."

Lan Tao clutches his arm, eyes full of horny ideas as he stares at the way Senior Wei sends resentful tendrils towards the fierce corpses. "I wonder what else he can do with those."

"You know what, I'm going to kill you myself actually."

"What's your issue, Sizhui? It's not like it's our fault senior Wei is a DILF." Lan Lixin huffs.

"I do not want to know what that means."

"It means dad I'd like to fu-"

Lan Lixin finds his lips glued together. Hanguang-Jun sends him an icy look. "Stop talking. Conserve your energy."

"Serves you right." Sizhui mumbles. "I was wondering when Hanguang-Jun will do something about you horn dogs."

Lan Lixin glares meaningfully at him, but Sizhui pretends not to see it.

"You guys need to stop thirsting after my family. Hanguang-Jun, now Senior Wei, who's next, the Ghost General?"

The boys appear to actually be considering the possibility and Sizhui barely stops himself from liberally smacking the backs of their heads.

At least Hanguang-Jun and Senior Wei have slain all the fierce corpses, and the night hunt is over.

If he has to see his friends act so pathetic for attention again, Sizhui is going to just jump in horde of fierce corpses sword-less.

---

"Ahh, Lan Zhan, you were even more beastly than usual today!" Wei Ying whines as he takes his rightful place on his husband's chest. "I'm not complaining, of course, but what brought this on?"

Lan Wangji decides not to answer, placing a possessive arm around Wei Ying's waist underneath the covers. "Mine."

"Yours, always." Wei Ying leaves a soft kiss on Lan Zhan's neck. "Hey, did you set up the silencing talismans before we started? I don't remember anymore."

"...yes."

Wei Ying hums and burrows further into Lan Zhan's chest, pliant and sleepy. "Good, good, we would've probably kept the whole inn awake if you hadn't."

---

The juniors' dark eyebags the next morning and their refusal to look either of their seniors in the eyes is peculiar.

But who can understand the youth these days, really?

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wangxian #lsz #ljy #writing attempts #this was really fun to write #f in the chat for the lan juniors

137 notes · View notes

ibijau · 4 years

Text

30 day otp - day Six: Folklore

6. F - Folklore. Write about your otp+ in a fairy or folk tale style. Or: the otp+ shares their favorite folk tales and urban legends.

I did some super quick research for this so if I get something wrong, tell me! Also I guess this is mostly about the Nie Bros, oops?

It had been Nie Mingjue’s idea to invite Lan Xichen to spend a few days in the Unclean Realm after they had once again bumped into each other during a Night Hunt. It had felt like a new step in their flourishing friendship, so Lan Xichen had promptly agreed, dropping the other juniors he’d been travelling with in an inn and following his friend to his sect’s home.

They had spent a very pleasant day together, visiting the grounds of the Unclean Realm, introducing Lan Xichen to a number of people. One of those people had been Nie Huaisang, who Lan Xichen would never have guessed was even half related to Nie Mingjue. He was a scrawny kid who looked did not look thirteen and was a good head shorter than Lan Wangji, in spite of being older. Lan Xichen guessed that Nie Huaisang must have taken more after his mother than their father, whom everyone said Nie Mingjue looked like.

After a pleasant but perhaps too flavourful dinner, Nie Mingjue had suggested that Lan Xichen and him could stay up a bit to chat, something they rarely had the chance to do when they met while Night Hunting. Nie Huaisang, while not invited, had still joined them. It was fine, they had not discussed anything inappropriate for his ears anyway. In fact, the conversation had mostly ended up on the topic of Night Hunting in general, and of monsters in particular.

At first this felt like a very educational and appropriate discussion to be having, and Lan Xichen was delighted to be learning about all the deadly creatures that Qinghe Nie had encountered and defeated in the past. After a while though, he started noticing that the creatures were starting to be described in a very gruesome manner by his friend, and that poor little Nie Huaisang trembled like a leaf with each new story. Nie Mingjue couldn’t have missed that. If anything, it appeared he was doing it on purpose, staring right at his brother every time he mentioned a new creature.

“And then, that respected sect leader decided to take on a monster deadlier than anything Qinghe Nie had ever dealt with,” Nie Mingjue announced during one of his tales, his eyes never leaving his brother. “Something no man had ever encountered without dying. The Sudden Striker.”

“What’s the Sudden Striker?” Nie Huaisang mumbled, clutching his fan with pitiful desperation.

His brother grinned in a manner that bordered on cruelty, making Lan Xichen roll his eyes. He couldn’t decide who was worse there: Nie Mingjue for teasing his little brother too much, or Nie Huaisang for still asking questions when he was already so terrified.

“It’s a snake that comes from Mount Heng,” Nie Mingjue explained, and just with that, his brother squeaked in alarm. Apparently, Nie Huaisang did not care much for snakes. “It looks like a normal snake at first glance, but it is deadlier than any other. A normal snake can be dealt with if you crush its head, but not the Sudden Striker.”

“Why not?” Nie Huaisang asked, curling up on himself in terror.

Lan Xichen, seized by pity for the younger boy, moved closer to him and took his wrist to offer some comfort. Nie Huaisang reacted to this rather more strongly than expected, dropping his fan to instead cling to Lan Xichen's sleeve.

“The Sudden Striker has a secret,” Nie Mingjue explained, clearly delighted by his brother’s terror. “It has a tail that is as deadly as its head. If you attack the head, the tail will retaliate and strike you dead. If you try to take down the tail first, its head will come and bite you. And if you try to strike its middle…”

Nie Huaisang shook his head, clinging tighter to Lan Xichen’s sleeve.

“...then both its head and tail will fight back,” Nie Mingjue announced in a low voice. “And from this, there is no escape!”

A loud cry escaped poor Nie Huaisang, who hid his face against Lan Xichen’s shoulder, looking as if he might break into tears. Moved by pity again, Lan Xichen patted the younger boy’s head to comfort him while glaring at Nie Mingjue for scaring his brother.

“I’ve never heard of such a creature,” he pointed out. “Mingjue, are you sure that snake even exists?”

Nie Mingjue rolled his eyes at his brother’s panic, and shrugged.

“It’s mentioned in the Art of War, I’d call that a reputable source,” he pointed out. Then, perhaps noticing that Nie Huaisang really was scared beyond words, he sighed. “Of course if it exists, no one has seen one in centuries. Get a grip of yourself, Huaisang. You’re in no danger.”

“Easy for you to say!” Nie Huaisang whined, still pressed against Lan Xichen. “You’re stronger than anyone in the damn world! I’m small and I can’t fight and snakes are the most disgusting, awful thing in the world!”

“I thought slugs were the worst,” Nie Mingjue retorted in a bored tone.

Struck by that statement, Nie Huaisang loosened his grip on Lan Xichen, though he still did not let go.

“Slugs can’t kill me,” the younger boy noted, his voice no longer trembling so badly. “But they did ruin my garden. I hate slugs so much too! But snakes… snakes are the very worst. There’s nothing worse than a snake!”

He shivered at the thought, while Nie Mingjue grinned at Lan Xichen.

“When he was little, he was bitten by a snake. Not a poisonous one, and it was his fault for bothering it, but…”

“Don’t go telling that story!” Nie Huaisang squeaked, jumping to his feet. “I swear if you tell that story, I’ll tell about… about the butterflies!”

“Don’t you dare,” Nie Mingjue hissed menacingly, his eyes darting toward Lan Xichen. “I will make you practice the saber for five hours in the sun if you do that.”

“You’ll do that anyway!” his brother complained, before turning to Lan Xichen. “Here’s the story. When he was eleven, Mingjue saw this beautiful butterfly in the garden and he wanted to catch it, but…”

“Huaisang!”

Nie Mingjue leaped toward his brother who only narrowly avoided being tackled down. The younger boy burst out laughing, then ran out of the room while shouting something about his brother crying when he accidentally broke a butterfly’s wings by touching them. Nie Mingjue disappeared after him, screaming threats of punishments at his brother.

Left behind, Lan Xichen could only feel shocked by that display. Nothing of the sort would ever have happened in Cloud Recesses. Running and shouting were strictly forbidden. As to the way the Nie brothers interacted, it was unheard of. He simply couldn’t imagine ever talking like that to Lan Wangji, and it would be even more ridiculous for his brother to be as insolent toward him as Nie Huaisang was with Nie Mingjue.

Quietly, Lan Xichen allowed himself a soft chuckle.

He was glad he had befriended Nie Mingjue, and he would look forward to future visits to Qinghe.

#xisang #nie huaisang #nie mingjue #lan xichen #mo dao zu shi #I love the nie brothers for ever and they love each other too #even if they're horrid little shits to each others but siblings be that way #mdzs #jau writes #30 days challenge

61 notes · View notes