nhs: look what i did in class today!
nmj: these are paper boats and you’re a college student
Wei Wuxian, stripping: don’t worry, I don’t like men
Lan Wangji, half-naked, 19, repressed, at this man’s mercy & very frustrated:
Lan Jingyi, scared: I can’t sleep. I think there’s a ghost.
Jin Ling: I can. Good night.
Wei Wuxian: my husband, the most serious, stoic badass in cloud recesses—
Lan Zhan, drunk at the wedding: IT ’S A LOVE story BaBY JUST Sey YES
Wei Wuxian: yes dear—as I was saying…
Jin Ling: How are you still alive?
Lan Jingyi: Well I’ve thought about it and believe me I’d love to but… *gestures to Lan Sizhui*
Jin Ling: Makes sense.
Lan Jingyi, to Hanguang-Jun: Sizhui and I are no longer friends.
Lan Wangji: [shocked, murderous silence]
Lan Sizhui, exasperated: That’s a terrible way to tell him we’re in a relationship!!￼
Wei Wuxian : I want to get punched…
Lan Wangji : On the mouth…
Jiang Wanyin : With a knife, because we’re enemies.
Wei Wuxian :
Lan Wangji :
Jin Ling: You’re really campaigning for Asshole of the Year, aren’t you?
Lan Jingyi: As defending champion, are you worried?
Lan Jingyi: Ughhhhh
Lan Sizhui: What’s wrong?
Lan Jingyi: I have a headache.
Ouyang Zizhen, pulling out a first aid kit: Well, do you want a paink-
Jin Ling: [walks into the room]
Lan Jingyi, pointing: IT’S BACK!!
Lan Qiren *To Wei WuXian*: You failed your drug test!?
Wei WuXian: I ate a Poppy Seed Bagel!!
Lan Qiren: Then explain to me the weed and cocaine!?!
Wei WuXian *panicking* It was an everything bagel!
Ouyang Zizhen: I have a pen!
Jin Ling, pulling out Suihua: But I have a sword.
Lan Jingyi, pulling out a gun: YOUR SWORD IS NO MATCH FOR MY GUN.
Lan Jingyi: who hurt you?
Jin Ling, sarcastically: You want a list?
Lan Jingyi, draws sword: Yes.
Wei Wuxian: Good credit? Bad credit? No credit? No problem! Are you dead? Fuck it! GHOST CREDIT!
Wen Ning: I’m gon get a Subaru!￼
Jin Ling, bursting into the room, followed by Ouyang Zizhen: So you two are having sex!
Lan Sizhui, looking at Jingyi in conplete seriousness: We are? Why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.
Lan Sizhui, after losing Jin Ling in a mall: Hi, have you seen my friend? He’s 5’6”, long brown hair, dark eyes?
Lan Sizhui: Clearly gay but we haven’t had the talk yet.
The junior trio after Yi city
Sizhui: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions Jin Ling?
Jin Ling: No.
Jingyi: I do!
Sizhui: I know Jingyi.
Jingyi: I’m sad.
Sizhui: I know Jingyi.
Attempt #89 at getting jl & ljy to be nice to each other
Ouyang Zizhen: Alright, a Ling, compliment Jingyi.
Jin Ling: Uh… you’re pretty.
Lan Sizhui: Good job! Now, a Yi-
Jin Ling: Pretty fucking annoying.
Lan Sizhui, walking out: i GIVE UP.
Lan Zhan *drunk off his ass*: tHe THING abOut me IS I’M BABY.
Lan Zhan *slams hand on table*: Who’S GONNA take CARE Of Me.