#feeling depressed Once Again

[theguffbin]

I did the thing

the horrible wretched thing

it breathes out of spite for god and smells of diseased moss and I hope it brings nothing but suffering and eight crazy nights bon appetit dork @akanemnon

#I did it #jumping on the bandwagon #because how tf did this monstrosity come back #its fucking horrible and i love it #literally the first thing I do after an eternity of doing nothing #months of creative rut and depression and boom #fucking bitchass adam sandler comes rolling in on a chariot of flaming garbage and broken memes #and suddenly everything feels like it makes sense again #eitherway i hope you hate it #i resisted a snootsie for once #it was hard but i managed #twin runes #twin runes au #twin runes fanart #akanemnon #eight crazy nights

[aether-weather]

SAGESUNE MIKU >:DDD

#i rise from the dead once again!! #sorry about the long periods of time in between me posting #school is absolutely kicking my ass right now and i havent had any time to draw the creatures :( #ive also just been feeling unsatisfied with my art as of late #its probably just too much time online looking at other peoples art making me feel bad about myself #even though im improving as fast as i can it doesnt feel like im getting any better #but i know from experience that that feeling doesnt go away with time #so i guess ill always see flaws in my art no matter how hard i try to get better #man. that got really depressing :/ #anyways SAGE!!! i love her she is my favorite of all time and im going to draw her so much yall dont even KNOW :D #ive got tons of other stuff planned too so watch out >:3 #i could hit you guys with 6 paragraphs of au lore any day now #sonic the hedgehog #sage robotnik #AWWWHHHGG SHE HAS HER OWN LITTLE TAG IM SOBBING #anyways #sage sonic #hatsune miku #i guess #whoof im scared to post this #or maybe im just exhausted #probably both :/

[trainingdummyrabbit]

parents are really fascinating creatures. theyll watch this thing they brung into existence Stop eating Stop cleaning Stop going outside Stop doing much of anything Without being able to explain and theyll go Hm. Clearly This Thing Is A Spoiled Brat.

#like boss......read th room #like its really fascinating. would love to study it. but unfortunately ; #piktalk #every so often i think of that poem. or story. abt the little girl who was heavily depressed; #and her dad drove for hours through the night to get her almost out of season plums. because it might give her the hope to keep living. #because they wanted her to feel loved and safe and seen and heard. #i think about it sometimes. #anyway post cancelled once again thinking abt 'dad why do you have beef with me im 4 i love you'

[girlyteengirl16]

life is starting to feel like praying to god to kill me again

#i want to die #it’s getting bad again #i want to relapse #i want to bleed out #i’m not okay #i want to die so bad #pls kill me #trauma #i wanna kms #im still traumatized #tw depressing stuff #mentally unstable #god why am i being punished #god please let me feel okay for once #mental abuse #tw depressing thoughts #mentally tired

[nuppu-nuppu]

Ignore if you don’t want to read about me being stupid once again

#pls dont read if you cant handle venting and whining #once again i am here to say that i am the loneliest person alive and i feel like i can’t grasp the basic consept of friendship and do it lol #like idk how to be friends #i feel like i will forever be sad and lonely #and i know everyone will say you can talk to me and i know that but i’ve just been by myself for so long that i don’t remember how to have #actual conversations with people i feel like i am disconnected from reality #i feel like i am an extremely unlikeable person and that’s why i was all alone in highschool and idk i am oversharing on the internet again #because it’s the only place i kind of feel safe doing it #pls take care of yourselves first before comfoting me or anything im sorry i sound very pathetic #how do i start living again #how does one live anyway #im just in my head all the time #this was supposed to be hot girl summer but it’s once again summertime sadness #im so stupid!!! #im so anxious and depressed that i dont know what to do with myself #im so sorry for oversharing i have a therapist dont worry im kind of taking care of myself #but the eternal loneliness just wont let me go #idk how to be a person anymore #i’m just sad #thinking of going to a church and pretend to be a believer so i could have a community again lol

[tazmiilly]

ive always been aware that the issues i had being medicated as a child for adhd were sort of my fault since i didnt ever bring up changing medications. however, now that i think about it, i dont know why my doctor didnt. why my mom didnt. i wouldnt eat a solid meal from 8am-4pm 5 out of 7 days of the week. why didnt they change my medication. they both knew i was skipping meals.

#they would try to get me to eat 4 spoonfuls of peanut butter and some pretzels...like i cant do that or else i'll feel sick #adderall demolished my appetite #btw taking almost the max dosage leads to some insane heart palpitations #every once in a while i think that id like to take it again. but then i think #Does feeling depressed and faint and weak really seem worth it for a single day of focus? nahhhh

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Sometimes I think back to all the times growing up that I was told that I was too fat/ugly/stupid/etc. to be worth loving and feel like it was not just terrible parenting but an actual magic curse. And that that same curse now follows me everywhere like a can tied to a sad dog's tail, keeping everyone away and leaving me empty

#help I've been cursed #today is hard #drowning in the lonely #sitting here reminding myself over and over not to send anything to the last person who made me feel wanted #not even a silly valentine meme in jest #because they've made it perfectly clear that they don't care for me the same way and I feel pathetic begging for scraps of attention #once again just a sad dog #depression

[illegallychanged]

how did it start, when did it end?

#ironically‚ he is thinking in circles #ink and watercolours again #disco elysium #i have so many feelings about this depressed middle-aged man #jean vicquemare #i saw the tag “jeangst” on ao3 once and it has been haunting me ever since

[deityofhearts]

here’s todays outfit, I was hoping to be giving winx club/totally spies casual outfit but I kinda just feel ugly at this point

#deity dialogue #I’m also tired and the ‘people hate me and are tired of me’ brand of depression has hit once again #don’t talk about how all my pictures are in front of the pantry lately or how much of a mess the pantry is #it’s dark and cold and raining outside rn and the shirt I’m wearing is paper thin #I feel like my face is ugly

[famewolf]

speaking of ocd, I think I'm realizing that I truly don't have anxiety and it's literally just my ocd. im not anxious about anything until it involves me and suddenly I'm spiraling

#[static] #it's hard to describe succinctly but the anxiety I deal with nowadays is directly related to my ocd and autism #some anxiety is so easy to brush off but the ones stemming from my ocd are extremely difficult to get out from under #i'll spiral for weeks about one specific thing and ruminate on it and mentally worry and pick at it forever #it's utterly exhausting jfkdghdf some days are easier than others #and often that one thing I ruminate on becomes multiple things all stemming from the first thing #like recently it's been my car ... the thing is totally fine ... runs fine drives fine but ive been freaked out by it for the last 3 weeks #every time i go into the shop theyre like ... everything is good in fact its in good condition for its age and they'll mention like #one thing that will need to be replaced to keep it in tip top condition and then my brain will fixate on it and imagine all the ways #something horrific will happen if that doesnt get changed and then that leads to all the other things in the car suddenly freaking me out #i defs used to have general anxiety and depression but those went away literally the day i got top surgery #poof instantly gone it was wild and i kept waiting for the other shoe to drop #never did but now my ocd has been really bad the last 6 months cuz of all the extra horrifying things going on #so i thought it was just my anxiety coming back but this week i realized it was my ocd and have been treating it accordingly #and ive seen some relief but i definitely need to go back to therapy once i get my insurance again #its the only way to get a hold on it and my last therapist ended up moving states so we didnt get to work on tools for it very much #im yapping at this point i just needed to vent for a second about how truly yucky ocd makes me feel

[goldiipond]

soo mad bro my mom told me i might feel more motivated to do things if i wasn't constantly surrounded by a giant mess and now im cleaning my room and it's fucking working. i'll never live thjs down

#skye's ramblings #once again my nurse mother is correct about things affecting my health. unbelievable #but i am already feeling a little more motivated. girl we are beating the suffocating depression TODAY!! HOOAH!!!!!

[ride-a-dromedary]

I think the traumatized elves should form a triad and craft circle, personally

#BG3 musing #team trauma and depression in three fun flavours #this is about halsin/astarion/shadowheart #and this is only partially tongue in cheek actually #okay 2 traumatized elves and a traumatized half elf #i just think they should bond and comfort and kiss maybe #halsin brushing shadowheart's hair hunched over her while astarion leans on his back #they don't even bother with his hair - astarion tried fixing it once and it immediately toussled again #they sleep together and nightmare comfort #and whisper little things upon the other's skin that make them feel safe and understood #just...soft fluffy stuff like that #actually okay i legit ship this now

[leviiackrman]

Did I choose to start redecorating my room this evening? Yes. Have I only just finish for the night? Also yes. There will be more tomorrow tho…

#personal* #jess talks #started the day really keen to draw Chika in her anime form but in different ages #was going really well until my new years plan gripped me SO MUCH I had to do it today lmao #and if I decide I now don’t like it (cus it’s less cosy) then I have time before I go back to work to rejig it again! #anyway it’s cute #more practically for when I’m working #doggy will hate it tho cus she can’t lay on my bed and look out the window anymore #might have to invest in a crochet/reading chair that she can fit on #also feels weird cus I don’t have any wall art or pop figures out🤯 #this was all to make more space for my shelves anyway technically #so once I get another bookshelf I can dedicate it solely to pops!! #I think my depression is hitting again tho #cus I always do this before a break down #‘need a change’ is my tell lmao #anyway pray for me

[try-set-me-on-fire]

oh my gosh the proposal fic from the list of wips you posted would be SO GOOD, i’m such a slut for friends to fiancés and also the post-lightning trauma is such a goldmine that i am starved for. if you had the time and wanted to post a sentence or a scene from that one i would be obsessed!!

also side note the trapped buck and chris fic you just did absolutely tore me to shreds you’re so very good at this

Proposal fic is actually the first fic I started writing for this fandom! I’ve thought about it so much I just need to uh keep writing it. Here’s a bit from awhile after Buck realizes he’s engaged but awhile before he realizes he returns Eddie’s affections.

"You talked about me to Frank?"

"I mean, yeah," Eddie says, looking kind of uncomfortable. "You're… yeah. I talked about you."

"Did you think about this before the lightning strike?"

"Think about what?" He turns his head to look up at the ceiling.

"About… me. About us."

Eddie's jaw works. "Yeah. I dunno. Yeah."

"I'm sorry," Buck says, putting his hand on Eddie's arm. Eddie turns to face him again, looking like he's ready to object to Buck's train of thought.

"Why?"

"It must have been lonely." Eddie's skin is warm beneath his palm. "I don't like when we're not on the same page."

They're laying close enough together that Buck feels his sharp exhale against his cheek. Eddie's expression is hard to parse, but there's some wonder and some pain and some amusement in there. He leans forward to press a quick kiss to the side of Buck's mouth. "You're very sweet."

Also thank you 💛💛💛

#wip #proposal fic #they’ve also had sex at least once at this point and will have sex at least once again before Buck is like oh huh #am i in love with this guy?? #in his defense he’s also very depressed #i feel like i might have posted this part before if i have i apologize

[poetic-emptiness-fanfic]

.

#once again I'm overwhelmed by feeling that I'm completely invisible everywhere #irl life and online #I just feel like I try to wave and do little something to be noticed anywhere #but no one either doesn't or doesn't want to see or hear #makes me wonder why do I even bother trying anything #yeah yeah probably partially it's my depression talking #but it's also my truth #society has shown me what it thinks of my worth and I feel so isolated #even the fact that I have a few great friends doesn't change it #and I feel like I'm drowning with all of my troubles and problems and feeling worthless #Emptiness rambles #just whispering to the void